#Barbara Gordon quotes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

vodrae · 5 months

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Rich pregnant socialite: So we went to this clinic and let them manipulate our genes so we're 100% sure our child won't have any disease, he will have my hair and his father eyes and so much things we did for him! And you Bruce ?

Brucie: Found em in the trash. Except Tim, he found me in the trash.

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galaxymagitech · 2 months

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Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

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91-1lover · 1 month

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Dick and Damian- *Fighting using an incredible strategy and hours of training*

Meanwhile

Jason- YEEEET *Throwing Tim at bad guys*

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 2 months

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Barbara: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Dick: Disturbing the peace.

Damian: Aggravated assault.

Tim: Arson.

Jason: All of the above. In that order, probably.

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batman #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #damian wayne #barbara gordon

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incorrectbatfam · 2 months

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Bruce: Oracle, check into their cameras.

Barbara: Oh sure, let me just load my "tap into every security camera in Gotham" app.

Barbara: *taps the screen*

Barbara: I’m sorry if that sounded like sarcasm. It wasn’t. I am in.

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arguablysomaya · 1 year

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Babs: Why are you eating tofu?

Dick: I'm trying to convince Jason I'm a vegan

Babs: Why?

Dick: I've been stealing chicken from his fridge and if I'm vegan, he can't accuse me of stealing it

Babs: Why not just buy your own chicken?

Dick: this is much more fun, watch

Jason: Okay! I have had enough! WHO THE HELL! IS EATING MY GOD DAMN CHICKEN!?

#Damian is also stealing Jason's chicken but since he's ACTUALLY vegan he just throws it out #batfam #batfamily #incorrect quotes #batman #incorrect batfamily quotes #incorrect batfam quotes #incorrect dc quotes #incorrect batman quotes #incorrect batfam #dc #jason todd #dick grayson #barbara gordon #1k #5k

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citybythesea1-blog · 16 days

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Jason, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

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Barbara: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Steph: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

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Jason, to Tim: You're not Mario. Lets get something straight, you're Luigi at best.

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Barbara: Tim is restricted to decaf for the rest of this mission.

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Jason: I haven’t slept in 72 hours…

Steph: I haven’t slept in 80. I’m the insomnia queen!

Tim: Ha! I haven’t slept in 90 hours, I’m aiming for an even 100.

Dick: What is wrong with you people.

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Jason: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Jason: *glares at Cass*

Cass: Well, sorry I have morals!

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Jason, furious: What do you mean we have homework tonight? I have books to read.

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Tim: I want to be like a caterpillar.

Damian: Explain.

Tim: Eat a lot, sleep for a while, wake up beautiful.

Dick: You know they have a lifespan of a week, right?

Tim:

Tim: That's just another highlight!

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc incorrect quotes #tim drake #jason todd #dick grayson #richard grayson #damian wayne #stephanie brown #barbara gordon #cassandra cain #they put tim in therapy immediately

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vigilvntes · 7 months

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dick, giving the family a pep talk: everything you lose is a step you take

the family, nodding in agreement:

jason:

jason: hang on. wait a sec. did you just... quote taylor swift?

dick: ......what? no. no.

jason: no. no, you definitely did. that's taylor swift.

dick: it's not–... i didn't–

barbara: how do you know enough taylor swift to be able to quote her in your speeches?

dick, panicking: *points at jason* well how does he know enough taylor swift to be able to notice that i'm quoting taylor swift?

jason, on his way out: my lawyers will be in contact

tim, quietly: he doesn't even have a lawyer

#everyone be quiet liz is speaking #don't mind me just posting a few drafts #it's batman day you have to forgive my absence and accept this as an apology #batfamily #jason todd #dick grayson #batman #red hood #nightwing #taylor swift #batfamily incorrect quotes #tim drake #red robin #barbara gordon #oracle #batgirl

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blackbirdi · 2 months

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Batfam Incorrect Quotes #12

Babs: *Over comms* What's your emergency?

Tim: I'm sitting in a pool of blood.

Babs: Is it your blood?

Tim: Yes, I think so.

Babs: Do you know where it's coming from?

Tim: Probably the stab wound.

Babs: Have you been stabbed?

Tim: Oh yeah, definitely.

#incorrect quotes #batfam incorrect quotes #batfam #batfamily #incorrect batfamily quotes #batkids #oracle #red robin #tim drake #barbara gordon

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rainnyydaysworld · 2 months

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Tim: Hey, do you know the password to Damian’s computer?

Duke: Fuck you, Tim.

Tim: Hey!!

Duke: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouTim".

Tim: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

—

Reader: Get on my level!

Steph: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.

—

*Dick is fighting a monster*

Barbara : Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!

Dick: The power to believe in myself!?

Barbara : No, a knife! Stab it!

—

Reader: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.

Jason: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!

—

Damian: Tim, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-

Tim: Aww, thanks-

Damian: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.

—

Reader: So, Steph is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.

Cassandra: Why?

Reader: Because I've caught her trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.

Steph, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.

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galaxymagitech · 23 days

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When Batfamily members break the no-kill rule…

Bruce: Well, technically… *insert very poor explanation of why it doesn’t count*

Dick: *has a mental breakdown and becomes Deathstroke’s apprentice* Huh? Oh, everything’s fine.

Jason: So what if I did? I’m proud of it! *begins 4-hour-long rant about the Joker*

Tim: …no I didn’t. *cue blatant gaslighting*

Damian: I had no choice. It was self-defense! (It was not.)

Duke: I had no choice. It was self-defense! (It actually was.)

Barbara: Can’t prove it. *destroys evidence*

Cass: I will dedicate my life to saving others as penance. Actually, that sounds pretty hard. Hey, Mom, wanna spar?

Steph: What’s a rule?

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canigohomenoow · 9 months

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Batfam on Twitter (3)

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incorrect-batfam-quotes-mostly · 1 month

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Dick: how's everyone doing?

Barbara: i'm breathing.

Dick: setting the bar pretty low, huh?

Barbara: well, it's more than Tim.

Tim, having a panic attack and at least 4 different crisis in the corner: honestly, fuck you.

#batfam #batfam incorrect quotes #dc #dc incorrect quotes #batman #tim drake #dick grayson #barbara gordon #tim is tired

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vodrae · 3 months

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Bruce: Alfred, where are the kids ? It's awfully quiet.

Alfred: They are praticing "bonding time" sir.

Noises on the roof

"THIS IS DICK GRAYSON AND WELCOME TO JACKASS"

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incorrectbatfam · 14 days

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How does the batfam respond when people say, "You look just like your father!" Thinking they're related?

[at a gala]

Gotham socialite: How cute, you all look like Bruce!

Dick: Is there something on my face?! Quick, someone give me a mirror!

Cass: The horror.

Jason: I've died again and gone to hell.

Tim: Oh. This. I don't like this.

Damian: Wrong, he looks like ME.

Barbara: *straight-up leaves*

Steph: You did NOT just call me Gen X.

Duke: With all due respect, no the fuck I do not.

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arguablysomaya · 2 months

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batfam + textposts part: ???

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