#Barnaby Crooked Man

[miniaturejudgeturkeytree]

Barnaby crooked man

Thirty-three frames from " babes in toylend 1997"

#babes in toylend 1997 #babes in toylend #barnaby crookedman #Barnaby crooked man

[twistedtummies2]

Barnaby - The Three Best of the Worst

“Babes in Toyland” is a very strange case when it comes to Christmastime staples. Most people haven’t even seen or heard the original operetta created by Victor Herbert (who was inspired by the works of L. Frank Baum), and the actual story changes depending on which of the many televised adaptations (and even a few newer stage interpretations) you look at. Certain things do stay the same throughout them all, but virtually none of them have any real faithfulness to the source material, instead mixing and matching different elements to create their own unique version.

The one thing that practically every version of “Babes in Toyland” keeps, however, is its central antagonist: Barnaby, the Crooked Man of Mother Goose fame. Barnaby is a classic melodrama villain; a pure evil nasty of the highest order, who is entertaining in how unrepentantly and enthusiastically wicked he is. While elements of his character do change throughout different versions, he is an archetypal baddy in every rendition, and while other things in “Toyland” change from version to version - the names of the protagonists, the plots of the stories, and even the songs featured - Barnaby is a presence in every single one. Toyland just isn’t Toyland without its resident nasty ol’ Crooked Man. Out of the numerous takes on “Babes in Toyland,” and numerous takes on Barnaby in turn, everybody has a personal favorite of their own. Today, I just wanted to present my three favorite versions of the character. By extension, you can basically call this my three favorite versions of “Babes in Toyland” as well. Again, there are others out there - a cult classic 80s version starring Keanu Reeves, an episode of the Shirley Temple Show which featured Jonathan Winters as Barnaby, etc. - but these are the three nearest and dearest to my heart. So, without further ado, allow me to present my picks for My Top 3 Favorite Portrayals of Barnaby!

3. Ray Bolger, from the 1961 Disney Film.

The Disney version is probably the best-known take on “Babes in Toyland” nowadays (most likely because it IS the Disney version, so to speak). While the film is a bit clumsy in places, it’s still a lot of fun. Most people agree that the two best parts of the film come in the form of two actors/characters. One is Ed Wynn as the bumbling Toymaker…mostly because it’s Ed Wynn. The other, of course, is Barnaby, played by Ray Bolger. If that name or face seems familiar, Bolger - almost two decades prior to the film - was one of the main characters in a little film from the late 30s I’m sure none of you have heard of called “The Wizard of Oz.” Yes, boys and girls: that’s the Scarecrow! And ironically, I think he and the Wicked Witch would get along splendidly in this outing. Bolger’s charisma is a big part of what makes his Barnaby such a joy; the performance, writing, and direction all REALLY ham the character up to the Nth degree, take this already melodramatic archetype and making him a pure pantomime villain. He breaks the fourth wall, he dances, he gets into a swordfight, he makes all of the crazy faces you’d expect, he even speaks in rhyme! He wears the cape, he twirls the moustache, he’s everything you’d want out of a bad guy like this in spades. Bolger is clearly having the time of his life with this over-the-top slimeball, and it’s just a joy to watch him work. My only problem with this Barnaby, and the reason he’s the lowest in the ranks, is that while Barnaby has always been a hammy character with a humorous side to his personality, I think I prefer it when there’s a bit more balance between the humor and the menace. There are one or two moments where Bolger’s Barnaby is actually pretty threatening (the aforementioned swordfight is a good example), but for the most part he’s just a riot. That’s not a bad thing, because he truly is a ton of fun to watch, I guess I just like it when the character is a LITTLE more menacing.

2. Christopher Plummer, from the 1997 Animated Film.

This TV film adaptation of the story (or is it direct-to-video? There seem to be conflicting accounts there.) is not highly regarded, and admittedly for good reason. Of the three versions listed here, it’s probably the least well-made of the bunch. It’s not God-Awful, but it’s very…“generic 90s animated kids movie,” if that phrase gives you any idea. However, I have a soft spot for this film, largely because it’s actually the first version of “Babes in Toyland” I ever saw. And even as a kid, my favorite character was always the villain of the story: Christopher Plummer as Barnaby Crookedman. (Yes, that is literally his full name in this version, as if his identity needed to be spelled out.) Plummer brings that extra little touch of menace to the part that I felt largely lacking in Bolger’s interpretation; he’s still overall a melodrama villain, but here there’s a bit more balance. In a weird way, Barnaby here feels more like a Disney Villain than…well…the ACTUAL Disney Villain version of Barnaby is! Something else I admire is that they actually give a small amount of empathy to the character in this version: it’s strongly indicated that the reason Barnaby is so cruel and nasty is because, as a child, he was never shown love. He’s never had any friends, never had any toys to play with, and that’s left him crooked both inside and out. However, don’t go thinking that means there’s much reason to sympathize with or feel sorry for Barnaby: this version does some of the absolute worst things of any take on the character, and shows no sign of remorse for any of his actions. There’s no redemption for Barnaby, no matter what his origins; he’s too far gone. Plummer gives a solid performance in the role, and this remains among my Top 12 of his characters just for the sheer nostalgia of it all. Again, the movie overall isn’t too great, but this is one of the first versions I still think of when I think of Barnaby.

1. Henry Brandon, from the 1934 Laurel & Hardy Film.

Laurel & Hardy’s “Babes in Toyland” was first released in 1934 in black-and-white; later the film was re-released in a colorized format (as you can see via the pictorial reference) and retitled “March of the Wooden Soldiers.” (I have no idea why.) What I love most about this film is that, despite being a Laurel & Hardy venture, this actually isn’t a parody piece: unlike some later films of a similar nature, such as “Snow White and the Three Stooges” or the Abbott & Costello Meet the Monsters series, which are basically comedic satires of the characters or stories involved, “Babes in Toyland” is treated more like a straightforward fantasy/fairy-tale film. It definitely DOES have a comedic side to it, of course, but rather than mocking the universe in question or contrasting it sharply with the silliness of the comedians involved, it just treats Laurel & Hardy as if they are just characters in the story, so to speak. The film isn’t afraid to get a bit dark and intense at times, and this is most evident with Barnaby. Played by Henry Brandon (nee Kleinbach), Silas Barnaby, as he’s called in this version, definitely has some humorous scenes. There’s absolutely no subtlety to the role at all. But unlike Bolger, Brandon brings an edge of danger and something bordering on the edge of insanity with the character, which makes his Barnaby feel far more intimidating. He gets involved in some slapstick, but the shrieking laugh he lets out as he tries to summon man-eating monsters, the almost animalistic ferocity he shows in his duel with Tom-Tom Piper, and near-demonic expression he has on his face as he leads his forces to invade Toyland at the climax, all give him a definite darkness that no other version of Barnaby has really been able to match. On top of that, there’s a sort of unintentional empathy to this Barnaby, as well: it’s a long story, but contemporary audiences have noted there are elements of Brandon’s performance and the script that hint there might be a soft side to Barnaby under his devilish demeanor. While likely not intended by the actor, nor the writers, they’re still interesting to note. In other words, this Barnaby has everything both of the previous Barnabys I’ve spoken of have in spades, and he’s in a generally better (albeit older) movie! This is the version I now think of first and foremost when I think of Barnaby, or even when I think of the Crooked Man from Mother Goose. That, above all else, earns him the meaningless title of My Favorite Portrayal of Barnaby from “Babes in Toyland.” Happy Christmas Eve, everybody!

#christmas #list #countdown #best #favorites #actors #acting #babes in toyland #march of the wooden soldiers #disney #mgm #laurel & hardy #barnaby #crooked man #barnaby crookedman #silas barnaby #top 3

[bryndeavour]

first line meme

tagged by @greenapricot. Thank you!!! these are always fun!! Okay some of them may just be 'opening' and not first line lol

What Doesn't Kill You (The Quarry - Travis/Laura - ongoing - 20k)

“Laura.” Rain drummed against the storefront window and the droplets raced each other down the glass in colorful miniature distortions of the outside world.

Very Predictable Creatures (IM/Endeavour - Max/Morse - 1.1k)

Morse had been organising his records for hours while Max had done a bit of work, some reading and eventually gotten up to cook them dinner. Morse had spread all of his LP’s out on the floor and sat among them like a dragon amongst his hoard. 

The Parent Trap (Oxventure - Gen - ongoing - 5k) original au

The Oxventurer’s Guild had learned (as best they learned anything) not to question orders from from the great beyond.

An Unseen Hand (Endeavour - Max/Morse - 8.2k - delicious burdens modern au)

Morse awoke slowly, reached for his phone to check the time, and then rolled over towards the center of the bed.

Nice Tits (Oxventure BitD - Barnaby/Kasimir - 2k)

Kasimir and Zillah wobbled their way out of the theatre rather easily amidst the chaos and aftermath of the grand spectacle that was the robbery of the Ruby of Mistmire. 

Smell the Sea, Feel the Sky (Endeavour - Max/Morse/Box/Fancy - 1.7k) modern au

“Gentlemen,” The concierge was a plain man dressed neatly in the cream and lavender shades of the resort’s signature colours.

Better than Bonfire Night (Endeavour - Max/Morse - 3.4k) vicarage au

Bishop’s crook was a simple village full of simple pleasures. It was the sort of village that loved a fete - a festival - a town wide celebration. 

Andante, Andante (Endeavour - Box/Fancy - 1.5k) boxfancy au

“If all the guests could please turn their eyes to the dance floor,” The DJ’s voice was loud enough to cut over the din of the gathering, but smooth enough to be inviting instead of demanding, “As our happy couple has their first dance.”

Teeth, Tentacles, Tusks and Tails (Oxventure - Corazon/Everyone? - 3k)

A captain was nothing without his loyal crew but there was something to be said about being stuck in the house together with no outside entertainment for more than a week straight. 

Christmas by Gaslight (Endeavour - Box/Fancy - 3k)

Ronnie was putting lights on their tree when George got home with the shopping. He couldn’t help stopping to watch a moment, even with too many bags clutched in both hands and turning his fingers increasingly alarming shades of red. 

TAGGING!!!! @ronniebox, @verecunda, @mr-iskender, @vita-s-west, @reginaldbright, @lemonistas, @essexmermaid

#fic recs #writing memes! #oh remember when i wrote a lot more #weeeeh #im still writing its just sooo slooow #not to add extra tags but the christmas boxfancy fic is a crowning achievement #ronnie box still believes in santa #and santa is real #in that universe #i dont make the rules (i do)

[sometimesraven]

MS Ethereal Excerpts: Comfort

One from the Magiverse today! Brienne is a trans girl and has a great rapport with the eccentric alchemist who supplies her potions -- I wrote this scene to showcase that small part of her routine and worldbuild a little of the normalisation of being trans in this world!

“Brienne, welcome in my dear!” The alchemist, Barnaby, was an eccentric old man who had worked here for as long as Bri could remember. She had fond memories of coming here with dad for her prescription medication and getting a sweet treat or three when she was younger, and in all those years his crooked posture and warm smile that crinkled his eyes had always been a source of comfort for her. “The usual today?” “You make it sound like I’m coming for a drink,” she laughed, “But yes, this month’s estrogen supply, please.” “You drink it, do you not?” He chuckled, peering over the counter with bright blue eyes as he bent down to retrieve her prescription, “Can’t believe it’s been almost a year since you first asked for this.” “I can,” she laughed, taking the bottle concealed in a brown paper bag from him with a grimace, “The taste never gets better.”

-from House of Magi, Draft 2

#ms: ethereal excerpts #writeblr #writing community #writers of tumblr #writers on tumblr #writing snippets #writing #mine #urban fantasy #novel preview #;hom #;magiexcerpt #the magiverse #magiverse

[i-did-not-mean-to]

Waves of love (2)

Part II

So here's the second part of this :D

-> Part 1

@blairsanne, @laurfilijames, @deanobingo

Prompt: Show me + Praise kink

Words: 1,3k

Warnings: Nudity, slightly NSFW, trauma, sadness

She hadn’t thought this through, Elaine thought hazily as Barnaby decided to cling to her as if to a life-saving buoy.

“Do we want to try and sit?” she asked gently, smoothing one hand over his short hair calmingly; it had the opposite effect and he pressed against her even more ferociously, trembling like a leaf tossed about in the storm raging outside of the rattling bathroom window.

“I can’t do it,” he moaned, burying his face in the crook of her shoulder.

“It’s okay, baby, we can get out?” Elaine proposed, telling herself that it was the proximity to his actual name that had made her slip into the use of a pet name rather than the fact that he was indeed different from her usual customers in the sense that he was young and adorably handsome.

“No,” he groaned, “no, it’s too dangerous.”

She wanted to tell him that nothing bad would happen, that she showered every day in her flat, that she had never had an accident, but she knew that he would not believe her.

His skin was warm and dry against her shivering, clammy body and – moved by the contradiction between intense suffering and boundless courage – she leaned her forehead against his temple.

“I’m here,” she whispered softly. “It’s all good. What do you want to do?”

After a few seconds of silence, he declared that he’d try to sit down in the tub. Unfortunately, this meant that he’d slide down her body while she had to grip the rod to which the showerhead was attached.

Something warm and stiff grazed along her thigh and she gasped.

“I am so sorry,” Barnaby mumbled, “I am…was a married man, but erm…lately, my wife has not been able to have marital relations on account of her permutated form and hence…”

Even if he might only have been able to see her blurrily, Elaine’s perception of his naked form was crystal clear and what she saw drove the chill right out of her blood and bones.

Despite all his troubles, Barnaby was a dream come true as far as looks went: broad and strong, his chest was covered in dense, curly hair and his carefully outward flexing thighs gave her a good view on rippling muscle and a thoroughly impressive erection.

“No need to apologise,” she tried to assuage him, but her voice sounded choked and breathless all of a sudden.

“I was quite a good-looking man once upon a time,” Barnaby lamented, his vague gaze directed approximately at the vicinity of her face – or of her bosom, she could not be entirely sure – and a sad smile spreading on his handsome face. “Betty, my late wife, always said that I was a fair sight.”

“You still are,” Elaine croaked, ashamed of her loss of control; usually, she managed to stay perfectly professional and courteous with her clients but – as she had discovered and repeated many a time by now – Barnaby was quite unlike any other customer she had ever taken care of.

Immediately, another twitch made his features blur and undulate for a second before they rearranged themselves into an almost boyishly charming grin. “Do you really think so?”

He was starved, Elaine realised, desperate for kind words and understanding and – kneeling down between his open thighs despite his protests – she allowed herself to cradle the base of his skull tenderly.

“Yes, I do. You’re handsome and kind, generous, thoughtful, and sweet.”

“And crazy,” he sighed dejectedly. “You can say it; I won’t hold it against you.”

“You’ve been through a lot and it has left you shaken,” Elaine answered cautiously, “but I don’t think that you’re insane. Forgive me, but I truly feel that you’re mostly just lonely.”

He pondered her words for a second and then nodded.

“It is nice talking to you,” he admitted, “and it was nice having a real body to hug.”

His ass – shapely and plump – was by now safely in the water, but he seemed too preoccupied with his company to fret.

“You may touch me more,” she invited, elated with the change she was witnessing. “Go ahead!”

His hands wandered up her arms, caressing her skin lovingly, before cupping her breasts with a little gasp of shock and pleasure.

“Is this really okay?” he breathed, unsure of himself, and then said, “I used to be really good at those things.” “Show me, pretty boy!” Elaine’s head fell back as his thumbs started rubbing across her nipples teasingly, drawing her closer to him as if by magnetic force until he could let his lips explore the curve of her exposed throat.

Heat was being absorbed from the shallow pool she was kneeling in and coursed through her veins now and she couldn’t hold back the stifled moan of nascent lust when his tongue traced her clavicles in a warm, wet stripe.

“Oh, so good,” she praised softly, gripping the back of his neck, and squeezing it helplessly.  

“Is it? Am I?” he asked breathlessly, his eyes alight with a determination that shocked and aroused her, before curling his broad, rough hands around her ribs and pulling her flush against him.

Again, that sensitive, quivering mouth found hers as he was caressing the back of her thighs that were unfortunately trapped between his own; the urge to spread her legs and invite him to lavish his careful, meticulous strokes on the centre of her need was overwhelming and she whimpered softly.

“You’re doing so well…Let us have that sponge bath then,” she stammered, plunging her hand into the water beneath her and letting a few drops fall onto his beautifully hairy chest.

He flinched back slightly, his fingers tightening around her ass, but – as she nestled against his skin once more – he relaxed.

“May I touch you?” Elaine asked politely, drawing back reluctantly to see the acquiescence in his eyes when he nodded sharply; his breath was a wild staccato now and she could feel him trembling a little.

“It’s all right,” she reassured him, sliding her wet hands up his calves to his thighs and back, “I am right here. Nothing will happen to either one of us.”

Scooping up a bit of lukewarm water, she again let it dribble down his stomach before wiping it away tenderly again. Thus they proceeded to gently clean him, little by little, taking breaks whenever it got too overwhelming.

The back of her hand brushed against his erection, and he gave a small cry of yearning and penned-up tension.

“How are we doing?” she inquired, mindful to check in with him at every stage of this new and undoubtedly frightening experience.

“I’m…I’m good,” Barnaby muttered. “Are you cold? Maybe we should get out of the water?”

This was good enough, Elaine decided, he had sat here for long enough and he had not panicked.

Placing her hand gently on the nape of his neck, she pulled him against her once more and started to get up slowly.

“Just stay with me, Barnaby,” she whispered fervently. “Focus on me.”

Her hands slid along his thigh and he lifted one foot out of the tub obediently; hence she directed and steered his warm, solid body until they were both standing on the cold bathroom tiles once more.

“Well done,” she praised, “you’ve been so brave.”

He seemed to grow under her approval, filling out to be more than that shadow of a man she had found huddled behind the door, and she was mesmerised by the sight.

Blindly, Elaine groped along the wall to get the fluffy towel she had put on the radiator and wrapped Barnaby in it tightly before sliding the delicate glasses back onto his nose.

“Off to bed with you,” she chirped and shoved him towards the door; within a few hours of her arrival, she had seen major progress and she had to hand it to Dennis that he knew his brother well.

“Can you stay with me a little?” he asked, a note of insecurity slipping into his voice.

“Yes, baby,” she chuckled, “I would not leave you alone.”

As you can see, I have cut it into three parts muahaha

Lots of love from me <3

-> Part III

#brokenwood mysteries #barnaby buchanan #deanobingo #dean o’gorman #barnaby x OC #nudity #therapy #being there #hydrophobia #deanobingo2022 #nsfw-ish #Better be safe than sorry

[terrible-twst-oc-ideas]

Barnaby from Babes in Toyland (1961)

The crooked man who lives in the crooked house. Kidnapping, attempted murder, muddling in the economic affairs of a small town -- all of this done because he asked a girl out once and she said no. Seriously boys, just take no for an answer! There are plenty of crooked fish in the sea.

#twst oc prompts #twst #babes in toyland

[a-casual-egg]

Too tired to do progress on my other fic ideas so drabbles

——

Sunlight filters through the window and onto the two figures cuddled up in bed. Barnaby’s eyes flutter open, adjusting to the light. His eyes rest on Edvard, the most beautiful man he’s ever seen. Barnaby intertwines his fingers with Edvard’s. He looks so peaceful asleep Barnaby just can’t help himself from watching him adoringly.

“Do quit staring, Fortescue.” Edvard’s eyes open to look up at the socialite.

“It’s Fortescue-Lumiere now actually.” Barnaby retorts with a smug smile on his face.

“That’s true, and I’m Edvard Fortescue-Lumiere now.”

“So why wouldn’t I stare adoringly at my husband and all his beauty?” Barnaby responds before kissing Edvard’s knuckles.

Edvard playfully groans and buries his face into the crook of Barnaby’s neck which makes Barnaby chuckle in response. Last night, Barnaby was finally able to marry the short fused inventor and Barnaby simply got drunk off love, ok love and alcohol. The only hangover he feels is from the love though, who knew that getting drunk off love would equal a hangover of sappiness.

Edvard does apparently as he mumbles, “you’re a sap.” into the crook of Barnaby’s neck.

“And you married this sap.”

“I did, and now I’m wishing for this sap to shut up so we can go back to sleep.”

“Too bad, now I’m going to talk for another hour just because you said that.”

“I hate you”

“I love you too, Eddie”

——

“Yeowch! Hey!” Edvard swats at Barnaby’s hand. “You’re going to rip my hair out at this rate!”

Barnaby takes his hands out of Edvard’s hair and lays them on the side of the tub he’s sitting on. Edvard glares at him and Barnaby glares back. Barnaby fold his arms and looks away from Edvard.

“I wouldn’t need to pull on your hair if you didn’t get all this gunk in it.” Barnaby says

“I didn’t mean to get this in my hair!” Edvard says as he gestures wildly.

“Ok, ok” Barnaby says as he pumps more shampoo into his hand.

Barnaby lathers the shampoo on his hands and motions to lean back. Edvard leans back against the cold bathtub, flinching from the cold sensation as he does so. Barnaby massages Edvard’s scalp untangles Edvard’s hair. The rubbery and sticky goo in Edvard’s hair loosens it’s grasp on the inventor’s hair.

“It’s a good thing this is working otherwise I’d have to cut all your gooed hair.” Barnaby hums.

“Mmm, shut up” Edvard lazily swats at Barnaby and Barnaby laughs.

“I know you’d never give up your hair, especially not after what happened with your moustache at Lizette’s townhouse.”

Edvard turns around and leans on Barnaby, looking up at his boyfriend with another glare. Except it’s a playful one somehow. Barnaby leans down to playfully glare back at Edvard, he leans closer and closer until their noses are almost touching.

“We do not speak of the Townhouse Moustache Incident.”

“Oh, do we not now?”

“Shut up.”

“Make me.”

With that Edvard grabs Barnaby’s shirt collar and pulls him down into a kiss to shut him up. It works and Barnaby goes back for another kiss.

——

Barnaby looks at the clock, it's 9:50. That's enough time to at least start a novel before bed. He drags his finger across the row of books before landing on a novel he's ready many times before. It's a novel about floriography. He takes it off the bookshelf and begins to read.

The clock strikes 11:00 and Barnaby sighs when he realizes. He puts a bookmark in the novel. Then he puts the novel away for tommorow. He makes his way down to his bedroom before undressing for bed.

Edvard said he'd get to bed by now but he's nowhere in sight.

"He's probably just finishing up an invention, Barnaby, it's fine." Barnaby mutters to himself.

Barnaby slowly takes off his rings minus two on his ring finger. One gold one embellished with red gems and the other gold with a blue gem. He runs his thumb over both of them.

He climbs into bed, clutching his pillow, staring at the wall, waiting for Edvard. Minutes pass, then more minutes, then an hour and no show of Edvard.

Barnaby sighs before climbing out of bed and grabs the candle holder with a still lit candle inside it. He then heads toward Edvard's lab.

"Dear?" Barnaby calls out as he slowly opens the lab's door.

He doesn't get an answer but sees faint candlelight on a desk and makes his way over. Edvard is at the desk completely asleep and slumped over. Barnaby steps closer and he can hear soft snoring.

"Eddie, Darling" Barnaby calls as he pokes Edvard to hopefully wake him up.

Edvard sleepily swats at Barnaby's hand and grumbles something. Barnaby pokes him more and Edvard cracks one eye open.

"What?" Edvard grumpily asks.

"I don't think sleeping in a chair will be good for you."

"Wh-oh" Edvard says as he realizes where he is.

"Furthermore, I want cuddles so it'd be for the best if you come to bed."

Edvard blows out the candle on the desk and sleepily grabs Barnaby arm expecting him to lead him to bed. Barnaby chuckles and leads them both to the bedroom. Edvard kicks off his shoes and flops onto the bed. Barnaby rolls his eyes and Edvard pulls the sheets over him.

Barnaby climbs in the sheets after him and gently presses a kiss to Edvard's forehead. Edvard nuzzles into the crook of Barnaby's neck and pulls the rest of Barnaby's body close. Barnaby runs his hands through Edvard's hair as he slowly drifts off to sleep.

#oxventure #oxventure in the dark #edvard #edvard lumiere #barnaby #barnaby fortescue iii #barnaby “the butcher” fortescue iii #barnaby x edvard #edvard x barnaby #intellectual investment #egg writes

[fearsmagazine]

The 2022 Bram Stoker Awards® Final Ballot

The Horror Writers Association (HWA) announced the Final Ballot for the 2022 Bram Stoker Awards®, an award they’ve been presenting  in various categories since 1987 (see http://www.thebramstokerawards.com/)

Works appearing on this Ballot are Bram Stoker Award® Nominees for Superior Achievement in their Category, e.g., Novel.  Congratulations to all those appearing on the Final Ballot.

THE 2022 BRAM STOKER AWARDS® FINAL BALLOT

Superior Achievement in a Novel • Iglesias, Gabino – The Devil Takes You Home (Mullholland Press) • Katsu, Alma – The Fervor (G.P. Putnam’s Sons) • Kiste, Gwendolyn – Reluctant Immortals (Saga Press) • Malerman, Josh – Daphne (Del Rey) • Ward, Catriona – Sundial (Tor Nightfire)

Superior Achievement in a First Novel • Adams, Erin – Jackal (Bantam Books) • Cañas, Isabel – The Hacienda (Berkley) • Jones, KC – Black Tide (Tor Nightfire) • Nogle, Christi – Beulah (Cemetery Gates Media) • Wilkes, Ally – All the White Spaces (Emily Bestler Books/Atria/Titan Books)

Superior Achievement in a Middle Grade Novel • Dawson, Delilah S. – Camp Scare (Delacorte Press) • Kraus, Daniel – They Stole Our Hearts (Henry Holt and Co.) • Malinenko, Ally – This Appearing House (Katherine Tegen Books) • Senf, Lora – The Clackity (Atheneum Books for Young Readers) • Stringfellow, Lisa – A Comb of Wishes (Quill Tree Books)

Superior Achievement in a Graphic Novel • Aquilone, James (editor) – Kolchak: The Night Stalker: 50th Anniversary (Moonstone Books) • Gailey, Sarah (author) and Bak, Pius (artist) – Eat the Rich (Boom! Studios) • Manzetti, Alessandro (author) and Cardoselli, Stefano (artist/author) – Kraken Inferno: The Last Hunt (Independent Legions Publishing) • Tynion IV, James (author) and Dell’Edera, Werther (artist) – Something is Killing the Children, Vol. 4 (Boom! Studios) • Young, Skottie (author) and Corona, Jorge (artist) – The Me You Love in the Dark (Image Comics)

Superior Achievement in a Young Adult Novel • Fraistat, Ann – What We Harvest (Delacorte Press) • Jackson, Tiffany D. – The Weight of Blood (Katherine Tegen Books) • Marshall, Kate Alice – These Fleeting Shadows (Viking) • Ottone, Robert P. – The Triangle (Raven Tale Publishing) • Schwab, V.E. – Gallant (Greenwillow Books) • Tirado, Vincent – Burn Down, Rise Up (Sourcebooks Fire)

Superior Achievement in Long Fiction • Allred, Rebecca J. and White, Gordon B. – And in Her Smile, the World (Trepidatio Publishing) • Carmen, Christa – “Through the Looking Glass and Straight into Hell” (Orphans of Bliss: Tales of Addiction Horror) (Wicked Run Press) • Hightower, Laurel – Below (Ghoulish Books) • Katsu, Alma – The Wehrwolf (Amazon Original Stories) • Knight, EV – Three Days in the Pink Tower (Creature Publishing)

Superior Achievement in Short Fiction • Dries, Aaron – “Nona Doesn't Dance” (Cut to Care: A Collection of Little Hurts) (IFWG Australia, IFWG International) • Gwilym, Douglas – “Poppy’s Poppy” (Penumbric Speculative Fiction Magazine, Vol. V, No. 6) • McCarthy, J.A.W.  – “The Only Thing Different Will Be the Body” (A Woman Built by Man) (Cemetery Gates Media) • Taborska, Anna – “A Song for Barnaby Jones” (Zagava) • Taborska, Anna – “The Star” (Great British Horror 7: Major Arcane) (Black Shuck Books) • Yardley, Mercedes M. – “Fracture” (Mother: Tales of Love and Terror) (Weird Little Worlds)

Superior Achievement in a Fiction Collection • Ashe, Paula D. – We Are Here to Hurt Each Other (Nictitating Books) • Joseph, RJ – Hell Hath No Sorrow Like a Woman Haunted (The Seventh Terrace) • Khaw, Cassandra – Breakable Things (Undertow Publications) • Thomas, Richard – Spontaneous Human Combustion (Keylight Books) • Veres, Attila – The Black Maybe (Valancourt Books)

Superior Achievement in a Screenplay • Cooper, Scott – The Pale Blue Eye (Cross Creek Pictures, Grisbi Productions, Streamline Global Group) • Derrickson, Scott and Cargill, C. Robert – The Black Phone (Blumhouse Productions, Crooked Highway, Universal Pictures) • Duffer Brothers, The – Stranger Things: Episode 04.01 "Chapter One: The Hellfire Club" (21 Laps Entertainment, Monkey Massacre, Netflix, Upside Down Pictures) • Garland, Alex - Men (DNA Films) • Goth, Mia and West, Ti – Pearl (A24, Bron Creative, Little Lamb, New Zealand Film Commission)

Superior Achievement in a Poetry Collection • Bailey, Michael and Simon, Marge – Sifting the Ashes (Crystal Lake Publishing) • Lynch, Donna – Girls from the County (Raw Dog Screaming Press) • Pelayo, Cynthia – Crime Scene (Raw Dog Screaming Press) • Saulson, Sumiko – The Rat King: A Book of Dark Poetry (Dooky Zines) • Sng, Christina – The Gravity of Existence (Interstellar Flight Press)

Superior Achievement in an Anthology • Datlow, Ellen – Screams from the Dark: 29 Tales of Monsters and the Monstrous (Tor Nightfire) • Hartmann, Sadie and Saywers, Ashley – Human Monsters: A Horror Anthology (Dark Matter Ink) • Nogle, Christi and Becker, Willow – Mother: Tales of Love and Terror (Weird Little Worlds) • Ryan, Lindy – Into the Forest: Tales of the Baba Yaga (Black Spot Books) • Tantlinger, Sara – Chromophobia: A Strangehouse Anthology by Women in Horror (Strangehouse Books)

Superior Achievement in Non–Fiction • Cisco, Michael – Weird Fiction: A Genre Study (Palgrave Macmillan) • Hieber, Leanna Renee and Janes, Andrea – A Haunted History of Invisible Women: True Stories of America's Ghosts (Citadel Press) • Kröger, Lisa and Anderson, Melanie R. – Toil and Trouble: A Women’s History of the Occult (Quirk Books) • Waggoner, Tim – Writing in the Dark: The Workbook (Guide Dog Books) • Wytovich, Stephanie M. – Writing Poetry in the Dark (Raw Dog Screaming Press)

Superior Achievement in Short Non–Fiction • Murray, Lee – “I Don’t Read Horror (& Other Weird Tales)” (Interstellar Flight Magazine) (Interstellar Flight Press) • Pelayo, Cynthia – “This is Not a Poem” (Writing Poetry in the Dark) (Raw Dog Screaming Press) • Wetmore, Jr., Kevin J. – “A Clown in the Living Room: The Sinister Clown on Television” (The Many Lives of Scary Clowns: Essays on Pennywise, Twisty, the Joker, Krusty and More) (McFarland and Company) • Wood, L. Marie – “African American Horror Authors and Their Craft: The Evolution of Horror Fiction from African Folklore” (Conjuring Worlds: An Afrofuturist Textbook for Middle and High School Students) (Conjure World) • Wood, L. Marie, “The H Word: The Horror of Hair” (Nightmare Magazine, No. 118) (Adamant Press)

#publishing news #awards news #horror writers association #bram stoker award #2022 #final ballot #science fiction #nonfiction #screenplay #graphic novel #poetry #antholgy

[writerofweird]

Barnaby, the crooked man of Toyland, then and now.

He appears in my book Reindeer: https://www.amazon.com/Reindeer-Gareth-Barsby-ebook/dp/B01M11G17K/

#babes in toyland #christmas #xmas #reindeer #the crooked man #crooked man #book #books

[miniaturejudgeturkeytree]

Barnaby crooked man

Thirty-one frames from " babes in toylend 1997"

#babes in toylend 1997 #babes in toylend #Barnaby crooked man #barnaby crookedman

[twistedtummies2]

Top 12 Goblins

Apparently, last week on Tumblr was “Goblin Week.” I…didn’t even know that was a thing, hence why this post is so belated. XD However, once I learned that fact, I thought it would be fun to do a little list related to the little devils. Goblins are one of the most omnipresent and perennial magical races in all of folklore and fantasy; if you’re making some kind of fairy-tale or fantasy universe, it’s practically a requirement that one includes goblins somewhere. But, like many other such beings of fiction, goblins are something that can change from writer to writer, and artist to artist. Sometimes they are cunning and shifty tricksters, otherwise they are dull-witted near-feral brutes; sometimes they are nasty and nefarious, other times they’re actually not that bad. I’ve always liked seeing how goblins are reinterpreted for different worlds and stories, so…for really no reason, I decided, what the heck? Let’s cover some of my favorites!

Now, before I start this list, I just want to say that there will be some rather well-known and popular forms of goblins NOT included here, such as the ones from games like “Dungeons & Dragons,” or the Final Fantasy franchise, not to mention the anime “Goblin Slayer.” Why, you may ask? Very simply, because I don’t really know much about the goblins in any of those universes, and that, in turn, is because I’m just not very familiar with any of those franchises, in general. So my apologies to anybody who takes a peek at this countdown and feels disappointed those options are not listed here. With that said, these goblins can come from just about anywhere: movies, video games, books, comics, the list goes on. So allow me to show you some of my favorites! These are My Top 12 Goblins!

12. Babes in Toyland (1997).

It is mostly stubborn nostalgia (and a very minor kink crush on the Goblin King, pictured above) that gets these goblins on the list. The 1997 animated version of “Babes in Toyland” is a rather “meh” outing, altogether; not the worst thing in the world, but nothing all that special on the whole, either. In multiple versions of the “Babes in Toyland” story (which changes with just about every retelling), the main villain - Barnaby the Crooked Man - joins forces with a group of dark monsters in the climax, leading to a grand battle as the man-eating beasts attack Toyland, planning to devour every man, woman, child, and sentient cookie or action figure there. In the 1934 film, these monsters were called “Bogeymen.” In 1986, they were called “Trolls.” In the 1997 version, these gluttonous, predatory demons are referred to as “Goblins.” They live in the Goblin Wood, not so far beyond Toyland, and those who enter their domain never return as they are “gobble-ined up” by the hungry beasts. Their king is a powerful, massive, muscular monster with a deep, mighty voice, who longs to find a way to bring his fellow goblins to the magical land for a TRUE feast…however, due to an enchantment of some sort, the goblins can only enter Toyland if they are invited by one of its own residents, which is where Barnaby’s help comes into play. The goblins in this universe are allergic to some forms of light, which can melt them much the way water can melt certain Wicked Witches. I say “some” because sunlight, flashlights, and other such things hurt them…buuuut apparently fire is nothing to them at all. Like I said, this movie isn’t exactly the greatest ever, but I have fond memories of it, and these goblins have always stuck with me.

11. Spiderwick Chronicles.

In both the book series and the film adaptation, Goblins are frequent, pesky antagonists. Carnivorous, treacherous beasts that resemble something of a cross between a toad and a cat, they appear in several stories in various roles…basically all of them evil. Perhaps the most infamous of goblins is Wormrat: the second-in-command to the beastly ogre Mulgarath. Wormrat is a Redcap: a particularly intelligent and nasty breed of Goblin distinguished by their blood-colored headwear. Wormrat has a fairly minor role in the books, but is a major player in the film adaptation, being the secondary antagonist after Mulgarath himself. In the movie he is played by an uncredited Ron Perlman, who, needless to say, brings a lot of fun and ferocity to the vicious Goblin General.

10. Tales of Arcadia.

In this franchise, made up of three separate series - Trollhunters, 3Below, and Wizards (along with a TV movie) - Goblins are the lesser minions of the evil Gumm-Gumms: man-eating trolls who wish to turn the entire world into their personal buffet. Goblins are just as carnivorous, but thankfully, these little devils are nowhere near as large, nor as clever. This, however, does not necessarily make them less dangerous, as goblins are both very fast, and always come in hordes. They rely heavily on strength in numbers, the head goblin in a group - humorously enough - marking their status with a phony moustache. Goblins are formed in bunches from a strange, green gooey substance, and have a strong familial core. Not only are they usually chosen by greater beings to nurture human babies replaced for Changelings (a job they seem more than happy to undertake), but if one goblin is killed - ESPECIALLY the leader - they will not rest until they have literally ripped apart the person or device they believe to be responsible. Goblins can be funny, but one should never underestimate them; they are attracted to the smell of fear, which apparently they find quite appetizing...and while some trolls may be big enough to swallow you whole, you can be certain goblins will be nowhere near as easy in their feeding.

9. That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime.

Throughout this wonderful anime (and the light novels it is based upon), Goblins are a near-constant presence, and they are really the ones who seem to solidify one of the major themes of this series’ story: “don’t judge a book by its cover.” Many of the races and creatures our main character, Rimuru, encounters are ones you would typically expect to be unpleasant or dangerous creatures, such as orcs, ogres, dire wolves, dragons, and demons. However, while there are bad eggs in every bunch, it’s made clear that no one race is totally wicked, anymore than any one race can be totally good. One need look no further for this example than with the goblins and hobgoblins who inhabit the Goblin Village, which is where our story really properly starts and where most of it is ultimately based around. The goblins here are just simple forest folk who simply try to eek by and survive; they’re really not awful creatures, and in fact become the first allies, even a family, to our main character. Some of them, such as Elder Rigurd, his son, Rigur, and the young Gobta are all major players in the series, and it’s always fun seeing them interact with Rimuru and the other main members of the cast.

8. Sly & Gobbo from Noddy.

In direct contrast to the previous options, Sly and Gobbo are about as stereotypical as Goblins get. These twin menaces are the main antagonists of the “Noddy” series: a UK-born children’s franchise that talks about the adventures of a living bobblehead doll, Noddy, and his friends in the charming little world of Toyland (no, not THAT Toyland, we talked about that earlier). Sly and Gobbo - who live in the Goblin Woods (not THAT Goblin Woods, frankly that’s a very overused phrase) - are a couple of fiendish mischief-makers who are always up to no good, causing chaos for Noddy and his friends. They are the sworn nemeses of the local constable, Mr. Plod, and while they’re more a couple of muckle nuisances than TRULY evil, they’re still as sneaky and tricky as goblins can ever be. Gobbo - the one with the long nose - is the brains of the operation, while Sly - the one in yellow - is a dullard who can barely tie his shoes; their interactions are a lot of fun. I used to watch Noddy a lot growing up, and I have very lovely memories of these two goofy pranksters. It’s not enough to land them higher in the ranks, but they’re definitely deserving of some praise.

7. The Harry Potter Series.

While Goblins are a mainstay race in the Harry Potter universe, generally speaking, they don’t really DO much. At least, not within the core canon of the books and films alike. Goblins are here depicted as the masters of the Gringotts Wizard Bank, and they take their work VERY seriously. They’re described as being very clever creatures, especially when it comes to matters of money and metalworking; they not only guard the accounts and vaults at Gringotts, but they are the ones who actively make the money itself. However, for these same reasons, goblins are not always especially trustworthy beings. They can be ruthless, treacherous, and extremely selfish. Part of this comes from the sort of backhanded philosophy goblins have when it comes to their work: in their minds, they make the money, so it SHOULD belong to them, not to the people it’s being provided for. Naturally, others don’t quite share this viewpoint. The result is that dealing with goblins is always a tightrope walk: they’ll do their job, and do it with pride, and you can be darn sure your money and your assets will be secure…but do anything to cause them trouble, or give them any reason to turn against you, and they will happily (and possibly literally) stab you in the back. The only reason these goblins aren’t higher on the list is simply because, again, they don’t really do a whole lot; the most notable goblin in the series is Griphook, a minor character in the early stories who later became an antagonistic presence in the last installment. Griphook is a wonderfully wicked goblin, but even with him there’s not a whole lot to say.

6. Blix & Pox, from Legend.

“Legend” is one of my favorite 1980s-era fantasy films, and a big part of the reason why comes from its villains. Not only do you get Tim Curry as the Devil himself, here referred to as the Lord of Darkness (or, more simply, “Darkness”), but you also get a few nasty goblins as his chief henchmen. One of them is named Blunder, who later turns out to not ACTUALLY be a goblin at all, but a dwarf who - for some not-fully-explained reason - disguised himself as a goblin. (I never really understood what was going on there, to be honest.) The other two henchmen, however, are pureblood goblins through and through. First, there’s Blix, played by Alice Playten, whom Darkness refers to as “the most loathsome of [his] goblins,” with a heart that is “black, and full of hate.” Blix is a typical goblin, with green skin, a long nose, and pointed ears; his voice is a snide cackle, and he loves to speak in rhyme. Joining him is the less typical Pox, a dunderheaded buffoon who resembles an anthropomorphic pig, In a way, I see these two as sort of the darker, more adult versions of Sly and Gobbo: similar relationship, but much nastier in comparison. The only downside to both these characters - and especially Blix - is taht, about halfway through the film, they just…sort of disappear. Despite really being the secondary antagonists after Darkness, and being responsible for a lot of the bad things that happen in the first half, their story just doesn’t get any real closure. Apparently, there WERE plans for Blix and Pox to reappear in the final act of the film, but those fell through the proverbial roof. A pity, really.

5. The Princess & the Goblin.

Widely considered one of the most influential fantasy novels of all time, George MacDonald’s “The Princess and the Goblin” is the cornerstone of many modern goblin stories and portrayals. The tale takes place in a mountain kingdom, where a band of troublemaking Goblins have been banished to the depths of an ancient mine. Determined to get revenge, they formulate a devilish plan to kidnap the Princess Irene (who shall be forced to marry the Goblin Prince) and flood the castle of her father. It is only through the cleverness of a young, miner called Curdie that the goblins are foiled in their crooked schemes. The Goblins in the story are depicted as being an odd mix of both clever and rather dim. They are smart enough to come up with rather elaborate traps and plans, but in direct confrontation, they are not quite as dangerous, and rely largely on their sheer numbers to overwhelm their foes. While the story is mostly a comedic fairy-tale, it does have a few dark moments, as well as many absurd, bizarre moments, which have been likened to the nonsense of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice” stories. The story was adapted into an animated film by UK animation company Cosgrove Hall in 1994. The movie featured several notable English actors and comedians of the time, including Rik Mayall as the Goblin Prince. I only saw this movie once when I was very young, and remember little of it; I’m not sure of the reputation it has, but I do know that the film was a box office failure. This may at least in part be due to the fact that it came out around the same time as Disney’s epic “The Lion King.” Whatever the state of the film, the book is a classic for a reason, and is just as amusing and entertaining a read today as it was years ago.

4. The Goblin Wood.

While not as popular as The Spiderwick Chronicles or the Harry Potter series, “The Goblin Wood” by Hilari Bell is nevertheless an exciting and slightly morbid story that lovers of fantasy (and obviously goblins) should definitely read. The story focuses on a young but generally good-hearted witch called Makenna. After her mother is killed by suspicious townsfolk, Makenna first floods the town in vengeance, then goes into hiding. While seeking shelter in the woods, she encounters a pack of goblins, among them a particularly grouchy little scoundrel called Cogswhallop. After sparing his life, she accidentally ends up forcing him into a life-debt to her (which, for the record, leads to one of my favorite curses ever, as Cogswhallop shouts “May your children be devoured by ducks!” in frustration), and the two begin to form an unsteady bond of friendship that grows closer over the course of the story, as it is revealed that the church is planning to wipe out all “unholy” magic from the land, and that the roving goblins who live in the forest are next on the papalcy’s hitlist. Makenna thus joins forces with Cogswhallop and his people, as they begin to form a rebellion to knock the church down a peg. Cogswhallop and the other goblins are a lot of fun; while they can be vicious little blighters, they are by no means villainous. They’re a bit like the ones from “Reincarnated as a Slime,” except with more “bite,” so to speak. Makenna is a fun heroine, too, and the other characters are all engaging, if sometimes on the simple side. Apparently the first book was so popular it led to two sequels, becoming a trilogy simply called “The Goblin Books.” I have yet to read the second and third book of the series as I type this, but if they are anything as good and as interesting as the first, I can safely say it won’t be too long before I pick them up…

3. Green Goblin & Hobgoblin, from Spider-Man.

I actually might have given these characters the number one slot, except that (unless you count the Ultimate universe), they aren’t TECHNICALLY real goblins. Instead, these are a couple of supervillains with a sort of goblin theme. The Green Goblin, of course, is Spider-Man’s infamous arch-nemesis; the identity was first adopted by Norman Osborn, a scientist and industrialist who developed a dark and deranged alter-ego while experimenting with unstable chemicals. Other Green Goblins would follow in his stead, including his own son, Harry; Peter Parker’s best friend who would eventually redeem himself by sacrificing his own life trying to save the people he cared for most. The legacy would continue further with the mysterious Hobgoblin: a brand new villain with similar abilities whose long-running career of crime was filled with numerous twists and turns, as Spidey tried to figure out who the Hobgoblin truly was beneath his hood and mask. The culprit turned out to be the power-hungry Roderick Kingsley, who adapted Osborn’s gear and methods for his own evil ends. Both are classic Spider-Man villains with large fanbases, and while they may not be ACTUAL goblins (at least not typically speaking), it’s hard to think of the word “goblin” or “hobgoblin” and NOT think of these two. For that reason above all else, they’ve earned their right to a spot in the top three.

2. The Lord of the Rings Series.

Alongside “The Princess & the Goblin,” perhaps no other take on goblins out there has been as influential as J.R.R. Tolkien’s versions of the nasty brutes. Alternately referred to as both “Orcs” and “Goblins,” these are very different creatures from most takes on the fairy-tale beings that came before them. And yes, before you Tolkien fans start yammering at me, I know that goblins and orcs are TECHNICALLY two different races, but…let’s not be pedantic, okay? They are basically the same thing, and I’ll get to that in a bit here, as it is. ANYWAY…goblins, prior to this were often described as fairly small beings. The typical depiction of goblins as long-nosed, pointed eared little rascals we see in so many versions was a long-standing tradition of much folklore and fantasy up to that time. Tolkien completely shattered that image, transforming the goblins into monstrous beings that were more like ogres than evil elves (though, apparently, elves and goblins are somehow related races). These burly, man-eating monsters were not very bright in most things, but were extremely skilled in the arts of violence, war, and torture. Middle-Earth seems to be crawling with these hideous monsters. They constantly pop up to torment our heroes by the thousands in the books, and in various factions; from the Goblins who live in various underground reaches, to the warg-riding Orcs who march from Mordor, to the Uruk-Hai; essentially man-made “Frankenstein Orcs” who serve the evil wizard Saruman. The dull but war-loving Goblins found in many video games, RPGs, and even some cartoons and comics nowadays probably owe much more to Tolkien’s cruel and ever-hungry monsters than to the scheming imps of MacDonald and earlier storytellers. These are “buff type goblins” at their most elemental.

1. Labyrinth.

No, the magnificence of the late, great David Bowie as Jareth the Goblin King is NOT the only reason. Of course, it is a major, MAJOR part of why this movie takes the top billing, but it is not the only reason. Containing some surprisingly subtle coming-of-age-story subtext, this cult classic fantasy film tells the absurd fairy-tale of a teenage girl named Sarah Williams, who ends up accidentally getting her baby brother kidnapped by Jareth the Goblin King and his monstrous minions. Jareth challenges her to get through his mystical labyrinth to reach the center of the Goblin City. If she can face him there by a certain time, she may have a chance to save her brother, before Jareth transforms him into one of his goblin goons. Thus Sarah embarks on her whimsical adventure, while Jareth and his goblins, along with many other obstacles, seek to impede her progress with all sorts of traps and puzzles. Though not especially well-received when it came out, the film has since been hailed as one of the best fantasy films to come out of the 1980s, and is widely regarded as one of the best works of many of the people involved in it, including Jim Henson, George Lucas, and of course David Bowie as the central antagonist. It’s never explained in the film why Jareth is so drastically different from the other goblins, but he lives a rather lonely existence, and appears to have a rather odd and sometimes chilling love-hate relationship with Sarah. Exactly what Jareth REALLY wants, as well as what he might represent, is left up to interpretation, but one thing’s for sure: he’s easily one of the most fascinating and fun villains of any film, period. The other goblins in the film are fun, too; all handled through masterful costuming and puppetwork, they have certain similar attributes, but also have a lot of variety in their designs. While perhaps not as influential on other interpretations of goblins, the way MacDonald’s or Tolkien’s have been, they are nevertheless unique and fantastic, and with Jareth at the head of their devilish band, it’s no surprise why Bowie and his little imps from Labyrinth take the top spot as My Favorite Goblins. Case closed.

#top 12 #countdown #list #best #favorites #goblins #fantasy #fairy-tales #labyrinth #lord of the rings #spider-man #green goblin #hobgoblin #jareth the goblin king #orcs #uruk-hai #the goblin wood #cogswhallop #the princess and the goblin #blix #pox #legend #harry potter #wizarding world #sly #gobbo #make way for noddy #noddy's toyland adventures #noddy #that time i got reincarnated as a slime

[fandomsarewhatilove]

Just a thought!

I think Clown is a wonderful person. Wait, let me change that-

I know Clown is a wonderful person. (There we go.)

Every post (I've seen) they make is wholesome. Some are filled with humor that tickles my funny bone quite nicely (and when I have a bad day, it always changes it to a good one because of it), and it's just so, I don't know? Likeable, I think is the word.

I sometimes have trouble understanding the posts, which is on my part because I sometimes make things too literally or I'm just dumb, but I just know it's something positive.

I also like their multimedia project, Welcome Home! Wally is such a Darling(hehe), and all the neighbors are so colorful and wonderful in their own ways! How Julie and Frank are opposites and yet are best friends! How Poppy loves to bake and yet is scared of the ovens and equipment she uses! (Though I understand that sentiment, I have times like that too.) How Howdy is such a great businessman and yet all the payment he needs are jokes! (If that were to be the case in my neighborhood, I'd have to keep a joke book!) How Barnaby always delivers such good jokes! (Even if Frank thinks otherwise.) How Sally shines wonderfully in where she does best, theater! And how Eddie, despite how clumsy the man may be, gets the packages to where they need to be. (Does he get paid?)

The little nuances in each character are just so admirable and wonderful, I can't help but look at each of them and say "Boy, I wish I could be their friend!" But in my heart, I already know I am! (Cheesy, but true!) And don't even get me to the details of the Website itself! If patient and careful, you get to see Wally's little doodles and messages and the beautiful bugs that greet you from the crooks and crannies of the Website.

It's all so great and so wonderful!

I'm so happy to have seen it all.

(Oh dearie me, this turned into a letter of sorts... I hope that's alright, ahaha!)

#random shenanigans #partycoffin #Clown!!! #welcome home #A small thought #Just a smidget to my thinking mind!

[prittypony1]

A Crooked Man by Babies In Toyland for The Glass Scientists Musical

Barnaby: (Spoken) There's nothing the matter with me. I'm not the problem, I'm never the problem. It's everyone else.

(sung) I live with a bunch of idiots

I curse them every one

Especially Hyde devoted his outings and his fun

How can Jekyll allow this? He thinks things are just fine 

That's why something needs to be devised

Candlesticks: (sung) Ooo, what a crooked man is Mind Lanyon

Barnaby: (spoken) Oh really?

Candlesticks: (sung) He's a vigilante you see

Barnaby: (spoken) I'm glad we agree on that.

Candlesticks: (sung) We agree that he's a miserable gent

Mind Lnayon: Huph.

They say his very soul is bent.

Mind Lanyon: "Well I never."

Barnaby: I’ve spent a lot of time 

Imagining (ugh)Hyde 

Doing things at night

Causing destruction and crime 

But he’ll soon discover

His behaviors been so vile

He’ll be forced to face me at his trial

(Chuckles)

Candlesticks: Oooo, what a crooked man is Mind Lanyon

Mind Lanyon: Uh huh

Candlesticks: It's almost like he’s distorted morally

Mnd Lanoyon: Is that what you really think?

Candlesticks: Any emotion tends to make him very ill

For perfection is his greatest thrill

Barnaby: Oh, yes. He’s been found guilty

His executions near

I’ll watch him cry and beg and plead

But a savior won’t appear

He’ll fess up to his crimes

And then he’ll meet a very bitter end

(spoken) Hyde, Your days are numbered. If you come around here, you’ll find yourself at the sharp end of my knife, my dear. (Evil laughter)

I’ll rid Jekyll of his problem 

Oh it brings me such a thrill

He’ll finally be kept on the straight and moral road

No mucking up his reputation

I’ll get congratulations 

And finally, all will be well 

(spoken) Hit it, boys.

Candlesticks: (sung) Oooo, what a crooked man as Mind Lanyon 

Barnaby: (spoken) I'm not that bad

Candlesticks: (sung) There's no point of view more venomous then his

Barnaby: (spoken) What?

Candlesticks: (sung) Tis no lie that he's a truly nasty guy

Mind Lanyon: Me? Nasty?

His heart is just a deep black hole

Mind Lanyon: How insulting

Oooo, what a crooked man is Mind Lanyon 

Barnaby: (spoken) I'm Perfect, you hear

Candlesticks: (sung) There's nothing as warped as his philosophy

Barnaby: (spoken) My reasonings sound

Candlesticks: (sung) We can plainly see why he's his only fan

(spoken) What a monster!

(Mind Lanyon looks at the ghost with anger.) 

“What did you say?”

He floats back and shakes his head. “I'm sorry. I didn’t mean it. Please. Don’t.” 

(He gets cut in half by Lanyon’s knife) 

“That’s better. Now, does anyone else care to disagree?"

(He brandishes the knife around at all of them. They shake their heads. )

(sung) That Mind Lanyon’s a Crooked Man

Mind Lanyon : (Wheels around and growls) I"m not

[artsyld]

I recently sat down and watched Walt Disney’s Babes in Toyland from 1961 and Y’ALL, Barnaby is a treasure. 

#Barnaby #Babes in Toyland #Walt Disney #1961 #Ray Bolger #1960's #Barnaby Crooked Man #Walt Disney's Babes in Toyland #fanart #villains #yasss

[leanstooneside]

Embracing the unknown

◊ firste vertue sone if thou wilt lere is to restreine

◊ collop that is cut out of th

◊ 168] sottes bolt is sone

◊ thing which that shineth as the gold ne is no gold

◊ 113] to cast beyond the moon is a phrase

◊ it is a foule

◊ mare is the better horse.[171

◊ 41] consider the little mouse how sagacious an animal it is which never entrusts his

◊ he knew what is what.[84

◊ 159] this phrase derives its origin from the custom of certain manors where tenants are authorized to take fire bote by hook or by crook that is so much of the underwood as many be

◊ dialogue conteyning the number of the effectuall proverbes in the english tounge compact in a matter concernynge two maner of maryages etc the selection here given is from the edition

◊ moone is made of a greene

◊ 127] rather to bowe than breke is profitable humylite

◊ origin when in the reign of edward vi the lands of st peter at westminster were appropriated to raise money for the repair of st paul's in london

◊ 104] it is this proverb

◊ steede is stolne

◊ it is better to be an

◊ 87] the proverbes of john heywood is the earliest collection

◊ 139] t is old but true still swine

◊ there is nothynge

◊ his port as meke as is a mayde

◊ they say that glitters is not gold.dryden the

◊ iron is hot strike.[101

◊ he is gentil

◊ harmes two the lesse is for to cheese.[54

◊ fooles bolt is soone

◊ 42] handsome is that handsome does.goldsmith

◊ 155] t is an old

◊ que tout n'est pas or c'on voit luire everything is not gold

◊ nothing is impossible to a willing hart

◊ 52] tyrwhitt says this is taken from the parabolae

◊ evils the less is always to be chosen.[73

◊ fat is in the fire.[97

◊ 164] ah well i wot that a new broome sweepeth cleanelyly euphues arber's reprint p

◊ gold all is not that doth

◊ wedding is destiny

◊ gold in phisike is a cordial therefore

◊ page annals of sporting 855 biographia britannica note 282 biographia dramatica note 347 book of common prayer 850 british princes 685 cupid's whirligig note 446 deutsche rechts alterthaœmer 858 drunken barnaby's four journeys

◊ there is no fire

◊ 101] you should hammer your iron when it is glowing hotpublius

◊ willow willow all a green willow is my

◊ 145] to rob peter and pay paul is said to have derived its

◊ 86] it is a foule

◊ deede a friend is never knowne till a man

[chaos-monkeyy]

Surprise

Winter Prompt Challenge ❄️ Day 1: Mistletoe

Day 1 is taking us to Midsomer! Picked this one on my own because I’m soft for disaster bi DS Winter and sexy older DI Jones. Sequel to Trying it on.

(cw for minor stress around coming out publicly, but it’s mainly just fluff)

Jamie Winter walked into the brightly bustling warmth of the Barnabys’ Christmas party, leaving the dark, cold evening behind him. 

“Ah. Winter,” Barnaby said with his usual mild, off-duty awkwardness as he took Jamie’s jacket. “Good of you to come.” 

“Thank you, sir. I’m, uh. Sorry I’m late.” 

“Jamie!” Sarah exclaimed, appearing out of nowhere and pulling him into a hug. “It’s so good to see you, come in, come in.” 

After pushing the bottle of wine he’d brought into Sarah’s hands, Jamie edged his way through to the Barnabys’ living room, sharing smiles and nods with the other holiday party guests. Almost everyone else there had a plate already, though from what he could see, the big dining table still looked as though it should be creaking audibly under the weight of enough food to feed everyone there three more times over. 

Obeying the growling commands of his stomach, Jamie headed for the spread of dishes, wending his way around the pairs and small groups of chatting people. He was nearly there, when— 

“Evening, DS Winter,” came a warm, playful, Welsh-accented voice from somewhere in the vicinity of Jamie’s right ear. 

Jamie’s stomach flip-flopped and his heart skipped a beat in his chest. 

He turned, and DI Ben Jones was standing there with a glass of red wine in one hand, wearing jeans, a collared shirt, and a familiar crooked grin. He looked unfairly good, with the top couple buttons of his shirt undone and his usual mop of messy dark brown hair falling over his forehead. 

“Ben? I mean, uh— DI Jones,” Jamie stammered, a fierce blush rising in his cheeks that he couldn’t control any more than the probably completely dopey-looking grin he could feel spreading over his face. They’d stayed in touch after Ben had gone back to Brighton again, after the whole cricket debacle and more than one extremely pleasant night spent at Jamie’s flat together, but they hadn’t actually seen each other since. Or, well… not in person. Ben grinned knowingly as Jamie blushed even harder, desperately trying not to think about a certain small collection of photos on his computer at home. “What are you— I had no idea you were going to be here tonight.” 

“Surprise,” Ben said, eyes dancing. “Want something to drink?” 

“God, please,” Jamie answered fervently. Ben nodded and slipped away into the kitchen itself while Jamie grabbed himself a plate and loaded it up with food, still completely unable to wipe the smile off his face even if he’d wanted to. 

The party went the way good parties go, with lots to eat and more to drink. To Jamie’s abashed delight, Ben seemed happy to stick with him most of the evening. They mingled some, Jamie introducing Barnaby’s ex-DS to a few new faces he hadn’t met while he was there during the summer, but they spent most of their time off to one side together, chatting about work and life and… just, well, everything. 

“It really is good to see you again,” Ben was saying, while pouring them each another glass of wine. Jamie thought it was the fourth they’d had together… or maybe the fifth. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get back out here sooner. I really did mean to,” he added apologetically, handing Jamie his glass again. 

He didn’t let go immediately, and Jamie swallowed hard as their fingers brushed. Ben was gazing at him intently, those hazel eyes trapping his gaze and making his heart rate pick up. 

“I know,” Jamie managed, knowing the hot flush he could feel colouring his cheeks and the tips of his ears couldn’t be blamed solely on the alcohol. “I’m really glad you made it tonight, though.” 

“Me, too,” Ben murmured. Jamie licked his lips, eyes darting briefly down to Ben’s mouth, curved in a small, crooked smile, just as the DI raised his chin in a subtle nod upwards. “Look.” 

Jamie looked up, confused— and briefly stopped breathing when he saw it. 

Mistletoe. 

They were standing under a sprig of mistletoe. 

He met Ben’s eyes again, reading the question, the invitation in the half-smile still on the older man’s lips and the way his head was tilted slightly to one side. Jamie knew he could say no without even saying it. He could step back, sip his wine to break the moment, and he knew Ben would understand completely. 

But… that wasn’t what he wanted, he realized. What he wanted was right there in front of him. 

Still scarcely able to breathe, Jamie nodded, wide-eyed, his head swimming with nervous excitement and his heart hammering wildly in his chest. Ben leaned in and closed the last of that tiny gap still between them, and Jamie made a soft sound that was not at all a whimper when Ben’s lips pressed lightly against his. 

Jamie only hesitated a split second before kissing him back, harder, tasting the bite of wine on Ben’s tongue as it met his own. Everything else faded away, Jamie’s awareness narrowing to nothing but the soft, wet heat of Ben’s mouth, the smooth feel of the wine glass still in his hand, the rough scrape of stubble over his skin and the gentle, warm pressure of Ben’s hand at his waist. 

He was breathing hard when they pulled apart again, the sounds of the party around them seeming to suddenly grow louder in stark reminder that they… weren’t alone. 

Suddenly nervous, Jamie swallowed, steeled himself, and glanced around. A few people were looking at them; some surprised, some curious. A lot of the guests didn’t even seem to have noticed at all. John and Sarah were among those who definitely had noticed— but the DCI just had a considering expression on his face, his eyebrows raised slightly, and Sarah… Sarah was absolutely beaming at them with a fond smile. 

“You okay?” Ben asked, so softly Jamie knew no one but him could hear it. 

Jamie met Ben’s gaze again, a shy smile spreading over his face. 

“Yeah,” he said, almost surprised to find it was true. “Yeah, I am.” 

#midsomer murders #Jamie Winter #Ben Jones #jones x winter #chaosfic #fluff #winter prompt challenge #still taking prompt list requests! #winterjones