Bruce: Happy Birthday, sweetheart!
Damian: *Points toward cake* It is the sweet, heart-shaped, cake's birthday as well? Father, I think you've lost your mind...
Bruce: I was talking to you...
Bruce: *calling after Tim* At least wish him happy birthday!
Damian: I don't even like cake...
Alfred: I believe your brothers will enjoy it if you really wish to miss out...
Alfred: *Sighing* The boys you share a father with...
Damian: Who? Are you talking about Grayson, Todd, and Drake, who are all fighting over the cake?
Damian: Well, Pennyworth, get it away from them. It's my cake, so I shall share it with my real friends.
Alfred: All your friends are at their own houses
Damian: t-t, they live with me
Alfred: Who are these friends of yours?
Damian: Batcow, Goliath, Alfred, and Titus, of course! Ace can join, too, if he wants!
Alfred: Jolly good, then, Master Damian. The only problem is that the cake has chocolate in it.
Damian: Fine, I am sure the rest of them will understand if Batcow has to have it all
Bruce: Damian! It's time for you to blow out the candles!
Stephanie: *Comes running in* I can't believe I almost missed this! I brought my camera, so we can take pictures! This is so exciting! Damian's first birthday as a superhero!
Damian: Birthdays with the league of Assassins were better...
Jason: I know what you mean... Well, I'm only talking about rebirthdays, not just birthdays, but they're close enough. I was revived there, you know, so I experienced a "rebirthday".
Damian: No one celebrates that
Bruce: I would've celebrated if I'd have known
Jason: See what I'm talking about? Rebirthday with him would've been so sweet... but he also wouldn't have left me alone for a second
Bruce: I can't say that's not an accurate prediction...
Damian: It's still different from birthdays, but at least you understand
Stephanie: C'mon, birthday boy! I've got my camera ready!
Damian: Fine, I'm coming...
Everyone: Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday Dear Damian, Happy Birthday to you!
Damian: This hasn't been a very happy birthday so far. You're wishes for me to have a happy day are not working!
Bruce: Why hasn't this day been happy?
Damian: Drake is ruining it
Tim: Why am I always the one he blames for everything?!
Damian: *watching from afar* I do not wish to play such childish games
Bruce: *calling over* C'mon, Damian! It'll be fun!
Damian: It's stu- *gets pulled into the shadows before finishing his sentence*
Damian: Aaaaah! Mother, you, um, surprised me...
Talia: *squeezing Damian in a hug* How else am I supposed to make a surprise visit? You didn't really think I'd miss your birthday, did you?
Damian: To be fair, pulling me into a hug when I think you are miles away is just plain creepy. There are better ways to make it surprising.
Bruce: Please don't ever do that again, Talia! I thought he was getting kidnapped!
Talia: I won't, Beloved. But it is very nice to see both of you again... And I can't say I haven't missed Jason, as well...
Damian: Mother, can you tell Father to stop these absurd games at once!?
Talia: He has a point. Beloved, do you think we could at least to switch it to something more interesting, like darts?
Bruce: Trusting these kids with darts?! They'll kill each other! Damian will kill Tim, then I'm sure Jason will kill someone else, and...
Talia: They could probably kill each other with the pin in "pin the tail on the donkey"
Bruce: At least then they can't see their targets. These kids are after each other...
Damian: I'm just going to go train. With lots and lots of sharp things that you let us handle on a daily basis...
Talia: He has a good point. How is this different from batarangs?
Bruce: If they're labeled as a "game" then they start thinking it's a game of last man standing
Talia: If you really think so...
Damian: I do, but I doubt Father does
Bruce: *pulling Jason's present of guns away from Damian* Don't worry, I'll save you from those horrible devices!
Damian: Although he is overreacting, he has a little bit of a point. I'm trying to stop killing, and those aren't going to help.
Talia: *Handing gift box to Damian* Why don't you open mine now?
Damian: *Ripping away wrapping* Wow, Mother! What a beautiful sword! Thank you!
Bruce: Great, more weapons...
Tim: His present from me is my forgiveness
Damian: I will not accept your present, Drake!
Tim: Guess no present for you...
Damian: Can we just move onto Grayson's?!
Dick: Okay, here you go! Do you like it?!
Damian: *staring at the Baby doll in his hands* Uh...
Dick: Is something wrong!? You don't seem like you like it very much...
Damian: t-t, I forgot to like it