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#Batman Family
Stephanie: Every time I have a conversation with you I waste hours of my life. You’re just too interesting.
Cassandra: I can stop being interesting. Watch this.
Cassandra: *freezes*
Stephanie: Hello?
Stephanie: Okay, well now I have to stay here and see how long you can keep this up.
550 notes · See All
Cullen: I can’t believe you live nearby and you won’t let anyone crash at your place.
Jason: You people already know too much about me.
Cullen: I know exactly three facts about you and one of them is that you won’t let any of us crash at your place.
623 notes · See All
Damian: I’m adopting a blue whale and keeping it in my bathtub.
Arthur: Damian, blue whales can grow over one hundred feet.
Damian: Clearly you haven’t seen my bathtub.
800 notes · See All
Stephanie, slamming a package onto the kitchen counter: I got the steak from the freezer.
Bruce: Why do you have chocolate on your face?
Stephanie: It was under a chocolate pie.
Bruce: So you ate your way through it?
Stephanie: I made a judgment call. You weren’t there.
927 notes · See All
  • Diana is the only JL member who can keep the batkids in line
  • Barry was supposed to babysit alone, but Bart and Wally tagged along and that’s how they wound up ordering $600 worth of pizza
  • Zatanna keeps them entertained with magic tricks
  • Hal threatens to construct a giant cage around to Manor to keep them from sneaking out
  • Oliver tries to cook them chili, but Dinah stops him
  • Arthur cries when he finds Alfred’s recipe for calamari
  • In the beginning, J’onn tells the kids if they don’t behave, he’ll send them to Mars. That backfired and everyone started behaving as badly as possible because they want to go to Mars
  • Plastic Man plays hide-and-seek with them
  • Clark brings his kids along and it goes great until he finds Kon dangling Tim from a hundred feet over a tiny trampoline with Damian and Jon cheering from below
  • In hindsight, leaving Billy to babysit wasn’t a great idea…
647 notes · See All

Dick: *walking into the manor* Hey, everyo-?

*There’s furniture everywhere, it’s a mess. The manor is eerily silent*

Dick: Oh god, Bruce? Damian? Ti-

*He walks into the dining room to find bruce and jason across from one another in the middle of an aggressive arm wrestling contest, arms not moving despite the obvious strain*

Dick: Wh-

Tim: They’ve been at this for 3 and a half hours.

Jason: you’re going down old man

Bruce: I’m taking you with me

88 notes · See All
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