#Batman Headcanon

[morgangalaxy43]

Tim would probably be really embarrassed to introduce Bernard to his family because he would think that his boyfriend would find his family super weird but in actuality, Bernard is just really happy to find other people to talk about his conspiracy theories

#tim drake #bernard dowd #timber #batsiblings #batfamily #dc comics #batman headcanon #dc headcanon

[justanotherpjofan]

I was reading a batfamily fanfic where Bruce Wayne is the master of the Court of Owls and the whole family is involved and Roy Harper moves to Gotham falls in love with Jason and blah blah blah. Really good btw.

My point is that at the very first chapter a side character describe the Waynes as the most handsome people of Gotham, like she says "yeah Bruce totally a Dilf, Dick a god among men and Jason is handsome and rugged as hell"

And then she describes Tim  “Hence his small size and the bags under the bags under his eyes,” 

Like she is not wrong but is a funny contrast between god-like beuty and bags under bags.

The older Waynes? Flawless men. Tim? Sleep deprived chaos gremlin.

#batman #bruce wayne #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #batman headcanon #good fanfic go read it #is called “They'll send a Talon for your head” in ao3

[eternalslover]

WHY IS THERE NO WRITING FOR HIM

GUYS, IT'S LITERALLY SUPERMAN HAS NO ONE EVER SEEN SMALLVILLE?! IM GOING CRAZY BECAUSE THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING, NOT EVEN CRUMBS

PLS SOMEONE WRITE FOR HIM I WILL TAKE ANYTHING, FLUFF, ANGST, SMUT, HEADCANONS, DRABBLES, FULL ON FICS ANYTHING PLS, HES SO POOKIE

#x reader #headcanons #headcanon #dc x reader #dc characters #dcu #dc comics #dc universe #dc fanart #dc headcanon #dc headers #superman headcanons #superman #batman gif #the batman #batman the dark knight #dc #marvel x reader #tom welling #smallville #clark kent #clark kent headcanons #smallville x reader #clark kent x reader #superman x reader #superman x you #clark kent angst #batman headcanon #batman hc #batman x fem!reader

[strawberrylet]

idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

#batman #robin #dc robin #justice league #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #steph brown #damian wayne #batfam #dc hcs #batfamily #robins #batfam hc #batfam headcanons #batman hc #batman headcanon

[vodrae]

Villain swaps Bruce and Clark minds.

Bruce: I get the "man of steel" now. *Punches villain*

Clark: Why...Why...WHY ARE YOU SO MUCH IN PAIN ?!

Bruce: What do you mean ? I took a 12 hours break yesterday, I'm as fresh as a newborn.

#batman #batfamily #batfam #dc comics #dc #dcu #bruce wayne #superbat #clark ken #superman #justice league headcanon #justice league #batman incorrect quotes #superman incorrect quotes #batman headcanon

[violent138]

More than half the League is betting at any time that they know when it's actually Batman under the mask, or someone else. Unfortunately, they were wrong when:

Dick was doing a phenomenal job of playing Bruce (didn't give himself away even once by smiling), because he fell asleep

Batman stubbed his toe against a table and swore like a sailor which led to cash exchanging hands as several people figured it was Jason, but Bruce had recently switched out of Matches Malone to dress up as Bats and hadn't shaken the Mindset yet

Batman's suit sat weirdly empty at the table and Oliver, annoyed, tried to tell Damian that this was too serious a meeting for Bruce to delegate, but it was Batman, hit with a de-ageing spell and too stubborn to sit out

After sustaining pretty serious injuries, Batman was whiteknuckling the table, in an awful mood, and nobody thought anything of it. Barry offered to help Bruce up (if the pain was keeping him trapped, trying not to insult Batman too much), and Jason tightly replied that if he moved the suit was going to tear.

Clark and Bruce had a bet for how long they could replace Bruce with a mannequin without anyone noticing, and because Clark kept looking over at "Bruce" and giggling (pretty par for the course for them), nobody noticed for five hours.

#Diana barely resists using the lasso to cheat #Hal Jordan consistently bets completely wrong #There have been many bribes to J'onn but the man insists he would never go against Batman's wishes for a silly bet #“I can always tell when it's batman” leaguers lost a lot of money #identity shenanigans #watchtower shenanigans #Dick Grayson #Jason Todd #Barry Allen #Superbat #Clark Kent #Superman #batman #bruce wayne #dc comics #batman headcanon #jla #justice league headcanon

[nightwolf14292]

Bruce acts so emo all the time that I just can't help but enjoy the idea(/headcanon, I guess) of him secretly just being an old man dad- Like all of the villains go 'Omg it's Batman we're gonna get beat up' and Commissioner Gordon randomly thinks to himself while working late 'I bet Batman is doing super smart stuff like looking at case files or serving justice rn' but it turns out Bruce is just in the Batcave, very seriously talking to the Bat-Computer about the definition of slang like "Okay 'Puter, define 'Yeet' for me.."

Or he's up at 3AM scrolling through Tim's Tumblr blog looking for ways to connect with his child, but instead becomes mildly concerned when he sees Tim posted a pic five minutes ago of himself at Waffle House (He thought he was in his bedroom-?) with the caption 'Lmao just had a mental breakdown ✌'

Bruce: "So, Damian.. Have you 'rizzed up' any 'level ten gyatts' recently?"

Damian(Also doesn't know slang): "Father wtf"

Of course all of the Bat-Kids know this, and try to subtly introduce him to different memes because he always looks so proud of himself when he properly uses slang, he's like 'Heck yeah my kids are gonna think I'm cool'

#batdad #batman comics #batfamily #batman #batbros #batfam #dc batman #batman and robin #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #batfam shenanigans #dc batfam #batfam headcanons #batman headcanon #headcanon #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth #dc robin #dc comics #robin dc #batfamily shenanigans

[therandomfandomme]

Batman having a recording of a heartbeat softly play in his suit so that Superman thinks he has two hearts to throw him off his scent because he's paranoid, but then one day it breaks and Superman freaks out, because "Batman where did your other heartbeat go?!!?!" and Bruce panics and says: "I split into two," like he's some sort of cryptid and everyone goes ???, luckily he has Robin to introduce them to. It's not until much later when they all reveal their identities that they learn that it's not true and all the bats and birds that are running around were not parts that ripped free from Batman. Though not before the whole family has had a whole lot of fun creating nonsense rumors just to fuck with people.

#rrrambles #dc headcanon #batman headcanon #batman #bruce wayne #justice league #dc #dc comics #dc universe #robin #batman and robin #batman and the justice league #crypid batman #paranoid batman #dick grayson #superman #batman and superman #batfam #batfamily #batfam headcanons

[bats-and-the-birds]

In situations and headcanons and such where Bruce doesn't tell the justice league his identity, I feel like one of the most often cited reasons is that they'd then immediately connect all of his many waves of increasingly smaller vigilantes back to him.

But I'd like to think it doesn't happen like that.

Like, at some point, Nightwing has been on the team for years, and somehow, no one that didn't already know him as Robin has connected him back to Batman, but of course both Bruce and Dick think they know, because they have to, right?

But then Bruce's identity gets revealed while Dick's off world or something, but he gets filled in, so he assumes that his identity is blown too, right? Of course, once you know Batman is Bruce Wayne, it'd be easy to put together that Dick Grayson is Nightwing.

So then Bruce and Dick have to rush to the watchtower from some sort of Wayne family event one day, but there's no real need to put on their costumes yet, because the league already knows their identities.

Until...

Green Lantern, watching a young man that he's only ever seen through gossip magazines fiddle around in the watchtower: Hey, Bru-Batman, I know we found out your identity and all, but do you really think it's a good idea to bring your children into this? I mean, what if he gets hurt?

Dick, incredulous: You... you do know who I am, right?

GL: It's hard to not know who you are. I saw you on a magazine cover just the other day.

-long pause-

Dick: Bruce, when you used to complain that you work with idiots, I thought you were exaggerating.

-general sounds of outrage from the JL-

#batman #justice league #justice league headcanon #batman headcanon #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #batfamily #comics #dc comics #green lantern #then Dick does a backflip or something and they put it together #Bruce never lets GL live this down

[rad-batson]

*Bruce and 9yo Dick playing chess*

Dick: Okay, I'm gonna take your pointy, sad-faced guy for my horsey guy.

Bruce: Stop, stop. *pointing to Bishop* What is this piece called?

Dick: I call him Dwight.

#can you tell I'm rewatching Psych for the millionth time #I have COVID :P #boooo #batman #bruce wayne #dc universe #dc #batfam #dick grayson #dc robin #nightwing #batfamily #richard grayson #batman headcanon #psych tv #psych 2006 #incorrect batfamily quotes

[morgangalaxy43]

I feel like the first time Damian calls Bruce dad instead of father would be one of the happiest moments for him (also criminal would release that Batman smiling would be a way scarier than his usual grimace)

#bruce wayne #batman #damian wayne #robin #batdad #dc comics #batman headcanon #dc headcanon

[thief-of-eggs]

Headcannon that when Alfred finally caves and allows the Wayne family to get a roomba, the bat brothers just go nuts over it:

Damian names it, and gets disgruntled when people simply refer to it as “the roomba”. Like, no, that is Cerberus? Get it right please

Tim tampers with it on more then one occasion. Hooks up some motion activated speaker/microphone mechanism complete with a voice modulator so that he can speak to whoever it passes. Steph is convinced for a whole WEEK that the roomba is sentient

Jason puts a few knives sticking out from it at some point. The whole family can hear Bruce’s screams when it enters his study.

And Dick just turns the damn thing off every time he sees it. He thinks it’s the worst purchase of all their collective lives

#batbros #incorrect batbros #bat brothers #batfamily #chaotic batfamily #batman headcanon #batfam headcanons #batfam hcs #jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #damian wayne #funny bats #batfam

[angelltheninth]

Hi I have a request. I like the idea of big, strong men being totally weak because the 🐱 is so good, so can we please have some writings of Bruce and Clark whining and moaning cuz their s/o is riding them expertly to the point that they can’t even remember their own name if they tried

Bruce was a bit more of a challenge for this one but I always like a challenge.

Pairing: Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, cock riding, edging, overstimulation, whimpering, restrains, orgasm delay

A/N: Subby Clark is easy to write, subby Bruce not so much.

BRUCE

He will only whimper if you make sure he has no other way of taking control over the situation. The man has to be restrained to the bed, handcuffs around his wrists and be edged for hours on end, the tip of his cock so fucking wet with cum you can barely even see it among the white beads if it.

Eventually you will let him come but he needs to beg for it, set his stupid pride aside for once and admit when he's been beaten, when he's at someone else's mercy. Bruce's cock twitches with need whenever you pull out and on that latest one you hear it, a whimper from his lips, a sign that he's admitted defeat and is allowed to come.

CLARK

Will whimper very easily for such a big, tough man. Literally the strongest person on the planet and he can't win against the way you use your pussy on his cock. Might as well be his new Kryptonite at this point because he's on his knees as soon as he knows he can eat you out.

He is a very loud man when it comes to expressing his pleasure, you had to get soundproof walls because of it. He always whimpers when you edge him, even at the mention of the act his cock is already hard and ready to go. Thanks to his stamina he can last for a very long time but his cum shots always end up being a lot to take.

#dc comics x reader #bruce wayne x reader #clark kent x reader #batman x reader #superman x reader #dc comics imagine #dc comics headcanons #bruce wayne imagine #bruce wayne headcanon #clark kent imagine #clark kent headcanons #batman imagine #batman headcanon #superman imagine #superman headcanons #dc comics smut #bruce wayne smut #clark kent smut #batman smut #superman smut #x female reader

[goodoldfashionedengineer]

I think it is extremely funny how New Jersey, the state Gotham is located in, is the only state where it's illegal to pump your own gas.

Apparently it's "Because of the fire hazards directly associated with dispensing fuel[...]"

Any Gothamite would be shaking their head at this.

They are used to attacks on Gotham by rogues on a daily basis. Just living in that city puts them at risk for dying in a gruesome way. Fear toxin, Joker Gas, getting frozen in ice, you name it.

But they aren't trusted to pump their own gas?

And the poor gas station attendants.

I bet they judge the supervillains based on how they treat service workers.

You stand at the gas station and Red Hood rolls up?

Yeah, they know him. He's nice. Yeah, they know how he opperates, so what? He bitched with Freya about her ex when they'd just broken up. He gave Alex a good tip when he'd mentioned how he had to work on his birthday.

#batman #dc #dc comics #dcu #batman comics #gotham #gotham city #only in gotham #dc headcanon #batman headcanon #red hood #jason todd

[vodrae]

Damian Wayne : *Watching national geographic. Global warming hurts animals.*

"Mhhh."

*Runs to Tim's room*

"Luthor said you won't find a clean and sustainable power source in your life."

*Slams doors. Leaves.*

Timothy Jackson Drake : "THAT BITCH." *Angry tools noises coming from the garage for 5 minutes* "Take that bald motherfucker !"

Stephanie : "It's been 5 years and I'm still not sure if i'm scared or impressed by you all."

Damian : "Penguins won't fall anymore."

#batman #batfamily #batfam #batman headcanon #dc comics #damian wayne #dc robin #robin #stephanie brown #dc spoiler #tim drake #red robin #lex luthor #batkids #batfamily shenanigans

[violent138]

The Batcave is the one place Bruce can truly unwind and drop the whole 'unbreakable' act he has going to assess his injuries, patch up the Batmobile, repair his suit, test out prototypes, and fail. That's why he's so annoyed when the kids bring strangers into it.

#not in any way shape or form an original thought #but one I kept having and thinking about #so here goes #batman headcanon #batman #dc comics #batcave #bruce wayne #batfamily