#Bc I kinda anticipate it being my role bc that's what I've been sm times

[carrotpiss]

Really hate being the level of socially unskilled and touch starved I am sometimes bc it makes me stupid abt dangerous relationships and unhealthy responses to stuff

#Tw cw for bad shit in tags they fucked up last time #But ahh I just hate how my auto response to ppl being upset is to be like #Would you feel better if you hit me? #Bc I know that's stupid and bad but I really struggle even after all this time to not be a punching bag #Bc I kinda anticipate it being my role bc that's what I've been sm times #I want to be able to communicate and work thru things w family and friends normally but that's all I can think abt #To the point I struggle to say much bc im just consumed by it #I'm also so dumb abt over romanticising ppl who do treat me like that that I have to put the word evil in front of their name so I remember #That they're bad #Idk I just wish I could imagine physical contact like holding hands or something instead but I can't bc I've never really had that #crouch speaks #I think it's probably why I'm so funny abt hugs like I love hugs so much but I get so in my head abt them I'm not great at initiating them