#Because I do not understand Protestants

[sleepii-moth]

i am well aware that there is more than one person running for the democratic party in the presidential election but unless someone usurps biden in popularity (which i honestly kind of doubt will happen), people really need to understand that ultimately the election is going to result in one of three things:

1, democrats refuse to vote, therefore donald trump or another most likely equally as bad person will win

2, democrats split the vote between other canidates in the democratic party which results in none of the dem candidates getting enough votes to beat a Republican and the same outcome as 1 happens

or 3, democrats work together to vote for the most popular canidate (who i think will most likely be biden) and a democrat is elected

and im gonna be honest, if 1 happens im gonna start biting people. yall NEED to vote, voting is LITERALLY the most basic most liberal ass thing you can do as a leftist right now, and if you are refusing to vote right now im like actually mad at you, its really not that hard yet some people STILL dont wanna do as if NOT VOTING WASNT PART OF WHY TRUMP WAS ORIGINALLY ELECTED. JUST VOTE.

#i understand that there are better avenues for leftist activism than voting that do more blah blah blah votes barely count #but its ridiculous to me that people have literally the easiest way to make sure that the US is slightly less of a complete #dumpster fire and are STILL not wanting to do it #do you people really want another trump presidency???? is that what you fucking want??? why is everyone incapable of picking the guy who #is significantly less worse than trump. do you people think that voting is the same thing as saying you love someone so much and they can d #no wrong??? you can still protest a guy you voted for?? no one even has to know who you voted for either??? #i cannot understate how pissed i am at people like this as someone who cannot vote i am like enraged #you have this ability and yet you refuse to utilize it while those unable to have to sit and watch while your actions cause #horrible people to make the rules #trans youth in america have been the most targeted by the right recently #and how do you think they feel helplessly watching you throw it away because you dont know how to suck it up and choose? #theres no such thing as a good president you need to learn that

[the-busy-ghost]

Alright uninformed rant time. It kind of bugs me that, when studying the Middle Ages, specifically in western Europe, it doesn’t seem to be a pre-requisite that you have to take some kind of “Basics of Mediaeval Catholic Doctrine in Everyday Practise” class. 

Obviously you can’t cover everything- we don’t necessarily need to understand the ins and outs of obscure theological arguments (just as your average mediaeval churchgoer probably didn’t need to), or the inner workings of the Great Schism(s), nor how apparently simple theological disputes could be influenced by political and social factors, and of course the Official Line From The Vatican has changed over the centuries (which is why I’ve seen even modern Catholics getting mixed up about something that happened eight centuries ago). And naturally there are going to be misconceptions no matter how much you try to clarify things for people, and regional/class/temporal variations on how people’s actual everyday beliefs were influenced by the church’s rules. 

But it would help if historians studying the Middle Ages, especially western Christendom, were all given a broadly similar training in a) what the official doctrine was at various points on certain important issues and b) how this might translate to what the average layman believed. Because it feels like you’re supposed to pick that up as you go along and even where there are books on the subject they’re not always entirely reliable either (for example, people citing books about how things worked specifically in England to apply to the whole of Europe) and you can’t ask a book a question if you’re confused about any particular point. 

I mean I don’t expect to be spoonfed but somehow I don’t think that I’m supposed to accumulate a half-assed religious education from, say, a 15th century nobleman who was probably more interested in translating chivalric romances and rebelling against the Crown than religion; an angry 16th century Protestant; a 12th century nun from some forgotten valley in the Alps; some footnotes spread out over half a dozen modern political histories of Scotland; and an episode of ‘In Our Time’ from 2009. 

But equally if you’re not a specialist in church history or theology, I’m not sure that it’s necessary to probe the murky depths of every minor theological point ever, and once you’ve started where does it end? 

Anyway this entirely uninformed rant brought to you by my encounter with a sixteenth century bishop who was supposedly writing a completely orthodox book to re-evangelise his flock and tempt them away from Protestantism, but who described the baptismal rite in a way that sounds decidedly sketchy, if not heretical. And rather than being able to engage with the text properly and get what I needed from it, I was instead left sitting there like:

And frankly I didn’t have the time to go down the rabbit hole that would inevitably open up if I tried to find out

#This is a problem which is magnified in Britain I think as we also have to deal with the Hangover from Protestantism #As seen even in some folk who were raised Catholic but still imbibed certain ideas about the Middle Ages from culturally Protestant schools #And it isn't helped when we're hit with all these popular history tv documentaries #If I have to see one more person whose speciality is writing sensational paperbacks about Henry VIII's court #Being asked to explain for the British public What The Pope Thought I shall scream #Which is not even getting into some of England's super special common law get out clauses #Though having recently listened to some stuff in French I'm beginning to think misconceptions are not limited to Great Britain #Anyway I did take some realy interesting classes at uni on things like marriage and religious orders and so on #But it was definitely patchy and I definitely do not have a good handle on how it all basically hung together #As evidenced by the fact that I've probably made a tonne of mistakes in this post #Books aren't entirely helpful though because you can't ask them questions and sometimes the author is just plain wrong #I mean I will take book recommendations but they are not entirely helpful; and we also haven't all read the same stuff #So one person's idea of what the basics of being baptised involved are going to radically differ from another's based on what they read #Which if you are primarily a political historian interested in the Hundred Years' War doesn't seem important eonugh to quibble over #But it would help if everyone was given some kind of similar introductory training and then they could probe further if needed/wanted #So that one historian's elementary mistake about baptism doesn't affect generations of specialists in the Hundred Years' War #Because they have enough basic knowledge to know that they can just discount that tiny irrelevant bit #This is why seminars are important folks you get to ASK QUESTIONS AND FIGURE OUT BITS YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND #And as I say there is a bit of a habit in this country of producing books about say religion in mediaeval England #And then you're expected to work out for yourself which bits you can extrapolate and assume were true outwith England #Or France or Scotland or wherever it may be though the English and the French are particularly bad for assuming #that whatever was true for them was obviously true for everyone else so why should they specify that they're only talking about France #Alright rant over #Beginning to come to the conclusion that nobody knows how Christianity works but would like certain historians to stop pretending they do #Edit: I sort of made up the examples of the historical people who gave me my religious education above #But I'm now enamoured with the idea of who actually did give me my weird ideas about mediaeval Catholicism #Who were my historical godparents so to speak #Do I have an idea of mediaeval religion that was jointly shaped by some professor from the 1970s and a 6th century saint? #Does Cardinal Campeggio know he's responsible for some much later human being's catechism? #Fake examples again but I'm going to be thinking about that today

[bijoumikhawal]

"Biden is the best choice and he's actually really empathetic and reasonable but also you can't wait for a candidate that won't do genocide and war crimes because to become a presidential candidate you have to be willing to do that" see what you fundamentally don't understand is I'm not waiting for a candidate that won't do war crimes, because I know that. I cannot morally stomach this system, it's a joke to claim its democratic, and AMERICA DELENDA EST. this country is a plague on this Earth

#cipher talk #It's baffling because okay so you know how fucked up this is but you're behaving in a way that clearly indicates you want that this shambli #Disgusting empire to cling to life until after you're dead because it'd make /you/ uncomfortable and inconvenienced #To live through its destruction (the wealthier classes and more privileged experience lesser material changes in state collapse so long as #They aren't too highly ranked/involved in politics. A Sri Lankan wrote an article specifically addressing Americans about this) #It's so dehumanizing! People's blood is so cheap to you! You've just accepted its inevitable that genocide will happen! #Because of how the US operates! You can see no other future! It hardly matters to you! #You say this like the death of Palestinians of Yemenis of Syrians is someone else's dropped ice cream cone #You understand why people hate this country and you understand we deserve it but it just. Hardly matters to you #It feels like madness to watch this. It's disgusting #I keep thinking- it'd be so easy for you to justify my people being killed if violence broke out and it was in your favor #It's unlikely because. Well. America loves 'the church of the martyrs' #But you'd do it if that was favorable. You wouldn't think twice. You might feel a twinge in your heart but that's all #Because we aren't people to you! #We aren't all that important! Not important enough for you do anything more than 'well let's vote a blue in and do some protests' #What's a protest worth if you perpetuate the system and can't see a way out and don't try for a way out? #That's killing a man then putting flowers on his casket. It's /perverse/. #You get used to the idea that Africans die that West Asians die and that's just the way of the world. My g-d do you understand anything?? #I watch necrosis take hold my parts of my culture and I watch every good person I know be ground to dust under a military regime #I talk to my friend who got drafted and is trans and may never come out because if they do they can get arrested as a 'prostitute' #I watch the wild hope for the future I was introduced to over radio at 9 years old wither #I watch people risk it anyway because just past the fence they can see they know there are people there #I watch my neighbor to the south crumble and weep because our hands are bloody and it's in part because we bloodied them for the west #And you just think that's how things are. #Fascist white death cult mindset

[pienhime]

autistic people are expected to just... stop having symptoms For The Greater Good™️ all the time and get treated like bigots and warmongers if they dont magically stop being disabled to further a cause. some autistic people can do some things, some people cant do those so they do other things to help instead. but its considered "good" and "morally correct" in leftist circles online to harass MENTALLY DISABLED PEOPLE for not simply no longer dealing with what comes along w their disability when it damages others. sorry, not sorry but ill do everything that i can to support causes i care about, and the operative part of that statement is "THAT I CAN". other autistic ppl can do without their safe foods? great, i cant. other autistic people are good at taking social queues and understanding how to discuss sensitive topics? cool, most of us cant. weve become so "uwu are u also neurodivergent uwu?? heres my hyperfixationstimmingspecialinterestoverstimulationcore pronoun set!! self diagnosis from tiktok is valid" that weve forgotten autism is a serious mental disability that prevents most of us from working and lots of us from ever living on our own. get ur head out of ur ass and eat a bag of razor blades if you think disabled people owe you death and suffering. we are doing what we can.

#this is about multiple situations going on rn #people will hear a mentally disabled persone xpress that they cant contribute in one way #and ask how they can help in others #and be called selfish and told to kill themselves #'its easy to boycott XYZ' #'its easy to be more sensitive about xyz' #to YOU. #i have a real and serious mental disability that prevents me from basic functioning #when autistic people ask for understanding we dont mean #'self identify as neurospicy uwu because u have anxiety' #or 'use tone tags in ur memes and scream at people with puzzle piece liscense plates' #we mean understand that we are disabled #and that we cannot do what you can. #my inability to support causes i care about in the same ways as you doesnt negate that im human #a disabled person not being able to protest as hard as you isnt an invitation to preach borderline eugenics

[ainsi-soit-il]

Serious question for my Catholic mutuals and followers: If I, as a Protestant, want to go into a cathedral, church, etc., to observe relics or iconography, how can I do so in a way that is respectful to the saint and to the people venerating the relics and the saint without compromising my religious beliefs and/or crossing my personal spiritual boundaries?

#please understand that i understand that y'all believe there is a firm line between worship and veneration #i respect that and i do not think of y'all as idolaters but please understand that despite knowing the difference i still disagree #christianity tag #how gloriously different are the saints #catholicism tag #live from the scriptorium #asking because a while back i went into the catholic center on a day there were relics present in the foyer #and one lady was confused as to what a protestant was doing there

[crunchyorangeleaf]

source of this picture is here and video of the occupation firing is here

#I hope you understand that the Occupation cut off their internet and they are using e-sims and then targeted the area journalists are using #if you've been following Palestinian journalists you know this balcony #you've seen journalists gathered here. you've seen pictures and videos taken from here. #even the ones not taken here were posted from here. please understand the significance of this #one of my most interacted with post was me talking about the importance of life-disrupting protests #and I wrote it because I was grieving the killings of Mustafa Thuraya and Fuad Abu Khamash - a journalist and photographer #please understand how much danger these journalists are putting themselves in to get the truth out #follow them on their instgrams their twitters their tiktoks whatever you use #share the videos. post the links. take photos #and please leave their names in and write descriptions to make all this accessible and easily traceable #do NOT let them be silenced #image description in alt #palestine #free palestine #gaza #gaza strip #free gaza #global strike week #languange learners is there anything more humbling than carefully sounding out a word only to realize it's an English word

[taecdimples]

I'm just waiting for the day Stray Kids pulls a GOT7 on JYPE...I'm calling it now...

#still processing the news about chan's room...idek where to start #yes I'm upset and disappointed #and I'm glad stays are sticking up for chan #but i also feel like we still don't know the whole story and I hope Chan doesn't get in trouble (again) for spilling the beans #I also hope stays don't take the protests and situational analysis too far because that's what started the trouble in the first place (imho) #(not ignoring bad behavior from other fandoms involved but let's admit some of us do take it too far) #I'm sure chan will still find ways to connect with the fans in the meantime (like the IG account) #but i understand that it won't be the same for stays #I'm staying for the boys and I'll cheer for them when they (hopefully) switch labels #stray kids #bang chan #rant

[vulpinesaint]

thank god i have realized that i can Post On Tumblr (make insane little personal posts whenever i want) since the last time i picked up paradise lost. the girlies in the gc were not very receptive to my screaming over milton's descriptions of satan and of hell but i know in my heart that the tumblrinas will come through for me

#esp since i got like 150 new followers from a quiz going crazy ab saints 😭 #i have gathered the target audience! the target audience is here! #'oh you need to know the political and historical context to fully understand paradise lost' (- my mother) #false. i can enjoy it as a work of literary fiction and a way to process my religious issues #BECAUSE. GOD. MILTON POPPED OFF. #not a fan of how he cast other religions' deities as Actual Demons trying to damn people to hell obvi. #but we can have Fuck Catholicism dissertations as their own post :) #do protestants believe in satan? hold on #yeah. yeah okay. #i get distrustful of what i assume to be commonalities between catholicism and protestantism </3 #no saints over there. no communion no transubstantiation. like at this rate what Do y'all have #valentine notes #paradise lost readthrough

[urostakako]

i feel so sick rn WHERE DO EVERYONES PRIORITIES LIE?

#our flag means death ?? your stupid starbucks frappes ?? disney cause you dont know how to grow up and let things go ?? #youre all children who never learned how to face the world #our msa is organizing a walkout i asked people to spread the word i asked my friends if they would join #and they said noooo idts. i have stuff to do. and i have to sit there with a strained smile like. ok! i understand ! #but theres a limit to how much understanding i have for you when you have not done a SINGLE THING. #no sharing info. no listening to palestinian voices. no listening to the fucking news or the history of this genocide. #no donations. no talking about it. no action. no protesting. no global striking. continuing to buy from the companies we ASKED u to boycott #and when its handed to you on a silver platter from all the days of nothing you did now you have stuff to do? #where are your fucking priorities. why do you think this has nothing to do with you #why do you think this has nothing to do with you ??????? #that you cant spare even five seconds for the littlest thing because YOUR life is that much more important ?????? #hanancouldyounot

[buttons-beads-lace]

Greeting card that you can't buy at Target anymore because someone made credible threats to the safety of employees over the sale of this artist's designs. Cardstock, ink, flocking, cellophane wrapper, receipt. 2023.

#I don't want to get into details bc online anonymity but I have feelings about this and basically my feelings are that it sucks #I got this because I didnt realize the 'trans people will always exist' tshirt was also getting removed #the general sentiment in the store was 'we shouldn't cave to protesters' #but I also understand the desire to not have violence happen in your establishment dear god do I understand that #idk #happy pride everybody

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

ive been spending way too much time on terf blogs the past few days and this thing i saw has been living in my head rent free like

(Image description: @/fakeboitherottengirl writes, "You learn to chase gender like you learn to chase any other drug. You chase gender euphoria like an anorexic chasing her skeleton. The next piece of clothing, the next haircut, the next injection, the next operation, THATS the thing you need to be happy. After this next binder or HRT or boob job or dress or tube of makeup your body will finally feel "right". And by the time you've eliminated all the things that could be "wrong", when no hair is left out of place and and you "pass" you realize you are still yourself with all the same pain you've been running from getting closer every day. And suddenly there's nowhere left to run. Your hair can't get any shorter. Your chin can't get any smoother. No shade of lipstick fills the void it once promised to. Capitalism lied to you and is actively profiting off of your gender dysphoria/euphoria. Dysphoric people deserve better than the capitalist "solution" of transition." End image description.)

There's so much wrong with this where do I start. (Soooo tempted to just throw out the whole suitcase but I think there's maybe half a thought in there worth keeping. So here goes)

All of the procedures you've listed above are things cis people do as well. Buy makeup and have boob jobs and get laser hair removal, buy gender-affirming (or gender nonconformity-affirming) clothing and jewellery. Yet somehow it's only bad when trans people do it? Capitalism leaves hollow voids of suffering in all of us. How we fill it is each of our own choice, and all of the things mentioned above are morally neutral. Including drug addiction and even eating disorders, because we believe in a thing called bodily autonomy. heard of it?

The capitalist solution of transitioning: Okay yes lots of trans people spend money on transitioning. A lot of cis people also spend money on gender-affirming clothes, accessories and surgeries. Capitalism has a solution for everything. It's true. BUT: not everyone's transition involves a lot of money, and most trans people are poor af. We cut our own (or each others) hair, get clothes from free clothes swaps and use other forms of mutual aid. Changing your name and pronouns is free! And yes we have to exist under capitalism, great observation sherlock. anything else?

And what, exactly, is a better solution for dysphoric people? Since you acknowledge they exist. Is it to live with their pain forever? I mean, you radfemmy types take enormous pride in suffering and make suffering the very core of your ideology so I can't say I'm surprised. Tell Me, has your suffering enlightened you? Do you know things no one else does? Did you find the light. And why am I reminded of tradcath imagery where you have to suffer to make up for being born, until you die... is this the kind of imagery you strive to invoke? Is your suffering the yoke you toil under forever, to make up for the wrongness in your soul and the void in your heart. Do we all need to find Jesus? Tell Me? (or please maybe just help us dismantle capitalism. yes it wants to sell you solutions to problems that didn't exist until capitalism told you you had them!! yes it hurts everyone!! we agree on this!!)

tldr suffering is great and if you embrace it you won't have to participate in capitalism anymore. but it's fine to participate in capitalism actually, as long as you're being nice and cis about it i guess. womanhood is only suffering and manhood is only violence and there is no room for genuine joy in the human experience. this is what you're telling me yes? okay. cool. okay

anyway I've found so much love and peace from being trans, not really from changing my body (which I BARELY have and still don't really know if I will) but from being part of loving, accepting, truly radical communities. Going from being othered to being part of the othereds. Community is the true value of the queers. Probably you radfems would agree about your own!! You love your communities and want to keep them safe!! See, us too. And we don't have to fight each other to keep ourselves safe. In fact fighting makes all of us less safe! None of us want that.

Anyway it's so difficult to have nuanced (or any) conversations about these things and i appreciate you taking the time to read this. and as much as I understand that my "why can't we all get along uwu 🥺" thing is naive and idealistic, I would much prefer to be naive, idealistic and hopeful, than full of distress and fear and despair at the state of the world - and the state of feminist, body neutral and autonomy affirming activism. (A despair we share, I assure you! Being hopeful anyway is an active choice.)

Hope is hard. It is! I have a lot of practice cultivating mine and it still doesn't come easy. The first step is believing you can have hope, and that things can get better. The next step is to find out what you, personally, can do to actively make things better for people around you. Start hyper-local, log off from the internet for a lil while, consult older activists around you. Millions of people doing tiny things will add up to bigger changes, and you have to believe change is possible. You have to. Otherwise you will get too content in your own misery and stop growing as a person and stop actually making the world better.

"You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time." ― Angela Davis

Anyway, one thing that doesn't help is trying to take away people's bodily autonomy. Whether that's restricting access to abortion, or access to transition, or access to cosmetic surgery, or ability to do sex work, or kink. Just cus you personally think any/all of these are oppressive and evil, doesn't mean you get to make choices for other people on how to live their lives.

Bodily autonomy.

If you're against abortions, don't get one.

If you're against transition, don't get one.

If you're against kink, don't do it.

Some people don't get a choice, such as victims of sex trafficking or Hershel Walker's mistresses when he arranges their abortions. But that doesn't mean you should take the choice away from everyone.

#so glad to have found genuine joy in my trans experience tbh #radfem pipeline #terfs cw #terfs do interact #if you dare #radblr #radfem safe #radical feminism #like can we at least agree that there are MANY. ways to respond as an individual to the pressures of capitalism and patriarchy #and being trans and being radfem are 2 and they are both somewhat understandable #unless you are one & are looking at the other in which case. #this division between us has been inflated enough that we simply cannot see past our differences #when i maintain and will forever that #we have more in common than we don't #at abortion protests you will stand side by side with us because we know as far as the powers that be are concerned #all of us are evil and need to be silenced #sigh #queer stuff #trans stuff #this post has been on my drafts for over a month and it will invite the terflings into my notes once more #which is the main reason ive put off posting it #arguing with terfs just takes up too much time that is much better used elsewhere tbh #and yet past me tagged this with a bunch of terf finders #and i cba to take them out tbh #maybe someone will read this and it'll make the gears turn to deradicalise someone from radfemism #all men are not evil btw #there we go edited it a bit added some more now it's ready to go out. terfs in my notifs in 3 .... 2 .... 1 ....

[cruelsister-moved2]

sorry but i think if youre making protest signs or wearing a shirt or whatever that associates lgbt people or abortion with satanism you are stupid as fuck 

#like youre free to express urself however u want #but going to a counter protest with a sign that says SATAN LOVES ABORTIONS or whatever like. do you think ur helping #its always the ppl w huge egos and a saviour complex who dont understand how their 'satan respects pronouns' pin is not #helpingggggg. #and not because of respectability politics. i wish more quirky neopagans understood that the average american fundamentalist is genuinely #terrified of satan. they believe satan is real and has magic powers. like its not an ideological war to them #they literally think theres a super powerful demon that takes over ppls minds and makes them gay #i dont think you need to PANDER to them at all but i think its a very dumb idea to be hyping up the emotions of a group of #powerful reactionaries with guns #especially with abortions youre going to have people in that environment and either theyre mentally not religious but are trapped there #or they genuinely believe it #who will end up seeking abortions #and youre worsening the emotional turmoil and guilt and fear of that for them

[just-about-nothing]

booth is like ‘military propaganda!’ and bones is like ‘well. this is actually an anthropological phenomenon that indicates youre full of bullshit’ which i appreciate

because i like my copaganda without a side dosage of military propaganda on top of it lmao. altho literally any episode that does touch on the military & especially iraq & 9/11 is full of bullshit military glorification. it just doesn’t stick on me particularly because a) literally the dialogue is not how any vet i’ve met talks & b) it’s also the same shit that i was fed as a kid & it didn’t stick then & fuck no it’s not gonna stick now not with a better understanding of bush, cheney, & rumsfield’s motivations

WAIT HODGINS IS ANTI IRAQ INVASION BESTIE MWAH

OHHH MY GOD THAT’S HARDISON GIRL HAIIIIIIIIII i love actor overlap

#i rant #bones #i need 2 be clear i grew up doing iraq & afganistan protests #and i do hate cops on a deeply personal & political level #and i DO understand of course that this is a copaganda show & it certainly glorifies the feebs and lawbreaking on a level i don’t like #-> really i enjoy bones because brennan is sooo autistic she’s just like me fr

[kartoshinki]

So not only did I already become the go-to-person at work for the germans to ask the english words for things and for the internationals to ask the german words for things

I've also become the go-to-person for the internationals to ask about german oddities, which wouldn't be a problem, if we weren't, among other things, the merch shop for the biggest colonian football club

Long story short, had to try to explain to a romanian, a marokkan and a filippina today what "jeck" means and also why I might not be the best person to ask that

#the oracle hath spoken #'so you don't know either' no karim!!! i do know i just can't really explain because i don't fully understand #just because i'm german doesn't mean i were fluent in every german dialect! #why'd you ask an east-elbian protestant about west-rhinian catholicism in the first place #i know other german dialects like berlinerisch or saxonian or yiddish #ask me what mischpoke or fisematenten or husche means!

[argothiathedreamer]

I'm just... I realize Alan Grant had good intentions creating Anarky and writing Rite of Passage, but the road to hell is paved in those and Rite of Passage is HELL

It's horrible and racist and borderline fascist and I hate it so much.

I deserve financial compensation for this.

No one should be subjected to Rite of Passage.

#Allow me to give you a quick summary of why I hate it: #Every black person is either a criminal or incredibly naive and superstitious #Anarky (Lonnie Machin) is one of the villains and he spends his time stealing from rich people to #set up bank accounts for struggling farmers in poor nations #All while he's in Juvie for *checks notes* Leading a protest against the destruction of homeless people's tent city to make way for a bank #Grant I understand you were trying to make a sympathetic supervillain but oh my god how do you fuck it up that bad???? #argothia's being weird again #(like narratively Lonnie is acknowledged as idealistically in the right. It's just his methods that are supposed to be wrong) #(his methods aren't even bad. Because Alan Grant didn't know how to write good social commentary) #(if Alan Grant were better at social commentary Lonnie would've been Robin not arrested) #And now I gotta rip out all the shit I hate and make an actually good story out of it

[blueslight]

👎

#I domt think I made it clear enough to my now ex girlfriend that I broke up with her because she is absolutely unbearably clingy #and now.i feel guilty that she didnt get it cuz like until she realizes that all her relationships are gonna fail cuz any normal guy would #lose his fucking mind at her and anyone who WOULDNT would probably use her depedence to abuse her and like. I know that and i feel.bad for #evidently not making it clear enough to her #cause like also even now shes still being clingy with me ....and i find myself unable to set proper boundaries cause I dont wanna be mean #and them im morally unhappy with myself. but like then again i DO set boundaries she just doesnt respect them . and then I lose my #composure and get mean and thats even worse cuz i dont wanna be mean to someome as fragile as her but like. Shes suffocated me so much im #in the mindset of a cornered injured animal . and they bite #and it frustrates me that i cant react organically to her cause i always have to keep quiet and not protest even when she really crosses #my boundarjes cuz i dont wanna upset her #and she even said herself that even now im the omly.person she wants to talk to and i told her several.times to go talk to our other #friends cuz how am i supposed to comfort her about her breakup WHEN I DID THE FUCKING BREAKING UP.. #plus I dont want that like i dont want the sole responsiblity for her social interactioms and emotional support just because shes #got unhealthy attachment behavior and refuses to get therapy .. #and like now its like well i domt wanna be mean or hurt her even more but also I dont wanna comfort my ex ABOUT *OUR* FUCKIMG BREAKUP that #is 1. fucked up EVEN THO we are still friends like id.comfort her about other stuff but how does she not realize that this wont. help #and 2. it gives me fuckin war flashbacks to my last relationship which just activates my injured animal instinct even further #and Idk why i cant set boundaries w her cuz i can do it well with other people but she just paralyzes me somehow w this stuff EVEN THO WE #GET ALONG WELL WHEN WERE LIKE NORMALLY PLATONICALLY INTERACRING #idk man i just need a fucking breather like i understand breakups hurt and i was anticipating giving her space until we can properly be #friends again (which we agreed on wanting) but like #Its not gonna get any better for her if shes constantly interacting w me #and on god her attachmenr to me isnt entirely healthy AND I DOMR WANNA SUPPORT HER UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS but i also dont wanna be constantly #like acting on a meta level thinking whats besr for HER instead of just acting on instinct ...