#Beerus (and Whis) can stay because he was from a movie but hes on thin fucking ice

[scalproie]

literally the only good things about dbz super are the (good) slice of life bits, super sayain blue hair or whatever BUT ONLY on gogeta, and gogeta.

#Beerus (and Whis) can stay because he was from a movie but hes on thin fucking ice #call me whatever but i really dont like most of what theyve done in super #like im way too attached to the epilogue at the end of dbz #also ok this ones just nitpick but one thing ive always loved is how you could SEE vegeta's villain degradation #by him wearing less and less saiyan armor and more and more regular human clothes #except in super they have him wearing that partial armor again because its his Iconic Look and I HATE it. it's missing the POINT. #anyway idk where that rant came from im sorry #oh and also one last thing good about super i guess: the ultra instinct theme because the goku drip meme makes me lose it everytime

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Movie 1: Broly (1/2)

This ended up taking longer than I expected, so I decided to break it up into sections.     The first Dragon Ball Super movie premiered in Japan on December 14, 2018, and then in the U.S. and Canada on January 16, 2019.   

After Resurrection F, just about every episode of Dragon Ball Super aired, and this movie takes place after all of that.    So just to get everyone up to speed: Beerus had a friendly tournament with his counterpart in Universe 6, and the King of Everything liked the idea so much that he threw his own event called the Tournament of Power, which saw eight universes square off in teams of ten.    But our universe was short-handed, so Goku arranged for Frieza to be brought back to life for one day so he could participate, and then Whis revived Frieza for keeps after Beerus was pleased with Frieza’s performance.  

This movie is important for a few reasons.    First, it features Aya Hisakawa as Bulma, the first time the role has been recast following Hiromi Tsuru’s tragic death in 2017.  

Second, this movie reintroduces the Broly character.   In the DBZ films, he was a side-story, non-canon villain, but this movie works him into the main canon.    Well... as canonical as Dragon Ball Super gets, I suppose.    Similarly, this movie also does the same thing with Gogeta.   

Third, this one currently stands as  the highest-grossing Dragon Ball movie ever, and one of the top-grossing anime films of all time.    I looked at the Wikipedia list, and it’s at #12.    But Resurrection F is at #19, so I think it’s safe to assume that any future Dragon Ball movies might break the record.     Even so, I knew this one was a bigger deal when I went to see it.   Res F only played in my town for three days, I think.   Broly ran for maybe three weeks and I couldn’t see it on the first try because it was sold out that night.   If it’s true that Akira Toriyama came out of retirement because of how bad Dragon Ball: Evolution was, then I think it’s safe to say that he’s exorcised that demon.

Fourth, this movie’s box office success and popularity led to the downfall of American voice actor and sex pest Vic Mignogna.   Vic has played Broly in all of his past movies, as well as the video games and any other localized Broly media.   But he’s also garnered a reputation over the decades for creeping on women and girls at fan conventions.    DBS: Broly put him in the limelight again, and I’m pretty sure this caused a lot of people to ask why we’re still putting up with this perv in the year 2019.    A few weeks after the movie premiered in the U.S., RoosterTeeth cut ties with him and re-cast all the parts he played for their shows.   A week later, Funimation did the same thing.   Quite stupidly, Vic tried to sue his way out of this mess, taking Funimation and two of its voice actresses to court for defamation and conspiracy, and the case was dismissed with prejudice on October 4.    The last I heard, he was doing public appearances in the basements of creepy malls.   Maybe there’s still venues willing to do business with him, but as I understand it, most anime conventions have recognized that he just isn’t worth the bad publicity.  

Anyway, it’s kind of weird to be doing this with a movie that just came out eleven months ago.     This will probably be more text-heavy than usual, since I have a lot of things to say about this movie that I never got around to earlier in the year.  

For example, what the hell is this thing?

All right, so the first... I dunno, fifteen minutes?... of this movie is a flashback of what Planet Vegeta was like before Frieza destroyed it.    For clarity: the main story of this movie is set in Age 780, the same year as the Tournament of Power in the DBS TV series, while this flashback takes place in Age 739.... I guess?   The Dragon Ball Wiki contends that Goku and Broly were born in Age 737, and they look about two years old in this part, but I dunno.   

Anyway, King Cold has come to Planet Vegeta to inform King Vegeta that he’s retiring from the space-villain business and putting his son Frieza in charge.   This was always very satisfying to me, because I never quite understood King Cold’s role in the Frieza organization.     Turns out he used to run the whole thing, and then he handed it over to Frieza, which allows him to retain a lot of power without actually having to run things directly.  

It also explains why the Saiyans lasted as long as they did under Frieza’s rule.   Conquering the Saiyans happened under King Cold’s regime.    Once Frieza took over, he spent some time reconsidering that decision.    Anyway, Frieza hands out scouters to King Vegeta, explaining that they’re the new latest and greatest technology for detecting and quantifying powerful fighters.   He even shoots down some Saiyan snipers just to demonstrate how well they work.

King Vegeta doesn’t like this turn of events, maybe because he had hoped King Cold would grant the Saiyans independence when he retired.    But there’s no much he can do about it, so he consoles himself in his son, Prince Vegeta.   The tests show that Vegeta has enormous potential, and the King is certain that his son will one day grow powerful enough to overthrow Frieza and rule the universe himself.   

Then he sees another life support tank with another Saiyan baby in it, and he throws a hissy fit about it.    See, Saiyans in this era raise their newborns in these tanks, and this particular tank farm is for babies singled out for having elite fighting potential.    The guys who run the place explain to him that Colonel Paragus’s son had exceptional test results, which may even exceed Prince Vegeta’s.   The King tries to see for himself, but the measuring device overloads and explodes.   

Then this lady walks up and tells him Broly might possibly become the next Legendary Super Saiyan, which doesn’t exactly put the king at ease.    

So King Vegeta orders Broly to be shipped off to the planetoid of Vampa.   When Paragus learns of this, he demands an explanation, since you only do that sort of thing for weaker, low-class Saiyan babies.    That’s what Raditz said way back in DBZ episode 2, you know, but Broly’s already been shown to be far stronger than this.   Also, Vampa’s a dump and everyone knows it, so even if Broly subjugates the planet, no one would want to buy it, so what’s the point.    King Vegeta explains that Broly is probably some kind of mutant, and no matter how strong he may be, he’ll eventually lose control of that power and become dangerous.   At least this way he’ll be on Vampa instead of being dead.    But Paragus thinks the king is only doing this out of jealousy.    He can’t handle that a mere colonel’s son tested better than the prince, so he’s sweeping Broly under the rug.  

So Paragus hijacks a spaceship and flies to Vampa himself to rescue Broly.   His plan is to desert King Vegeta and the Frieza Force and raise Broly on some other planet until he can make Broly into a great warrior.    Another Saiyan named Beets tries to talk him out of it, but ends up getting roped into the hijacking.    Paragus foolishly crash lands the ship on Vampa, and when Beets says he can’t repair the ship, Paragus shoots him so the rations will last longer.    I like this scene, because when they first arrived on Vampa, Paragus made Beets come with him, fearing that he’d take off and leave them if he stayed behind.   Beets swore he’d never do that, but Paragus doesn’t believe in trustworthy Saiyans.    So his shooting Beets is just proof of his cynicism towards his own people. 

Then we flash forward another five years.    That seems kind of fishy to me, but okay.  

Bardock and his comrade are on their way back to Planet Vegeta, because Frieza ordered them all to come home.    Bardock is suspicious, because if Frieza had orders for them, he could have just relayed them by radio, and if he has weapons to distribute, then there’d still be no need to have every Saiyan on the planet at the same time to hand them all out.   

I know people don’t care much for the Dragon Ball Minus version of Bardock, but it does make a lot more sense than the “Father of Goku” version.   This movie expands on the Dragon Ball Minus comic by explaining Bardock’s reasoning in greater detail.    The other Saiyans simply can’t believe that Frieza would do anything drastic to them, mainly because they work for Frieza and do what he wants.    But Bardock knows that the Saiyans dislike Frieza, and that the feeling is probably mutual, and he might just be planning to do something about it.  

Then one of his pals mentions that Frieza’s administrators have been asking around about the Super Saiyan legend, and that’s the final piece of the puzzle.   Bardock realizes that Frieza’s worried about a Saiyan uprising, which normally wouldn’t be a threat, unless a Super Saiyan emerges.  

The point I’m driving at here is that he doesn’t really need psychic powers to see all this coming.    He just happens to be smart enough and paranoid enough to figure out how Frieza thinks.   It’s not as dramatic as “Father of Goku”, but it’s still effective.  

The thing I tried to do last year was to write a fanfic that combined this version of Bardock with the “FoG” version.    Basically, to have Gine in the story and have her cope with her husband having doomsday visions.    I really ought to get back to that sometime.   

As for Frieza, his people report that the Super Saiyan and Super Saiyan God are nothing more than old stories, but Frieza insists that he had to be certain.    Even so, he plans to blow up all the Saiyans anyway, since he’s got them all together in one place.    I don’t know, maybe he only asked about Super Saiyans because he was afraid this upcoming attack might provoke a Super Saiyan survivor.  

Moving on, if you know the story of Dragon Ball Minus, you know what’s coming next.    Bardock meets up with his wife Gine, and I dig this chubby Saiyan working at the meat-packing place.    I think that’s my favorite part of this movie, really, just seeing all the diverse kinds of Saiyans running around on this planet.    Fat ones, thin ones, weak ones.    That one lady looked like some kind of scientist, and the guy in King Vegeta’s court looked like a butler or something.    It’s a nice change from DBZ, where every Saiyan extra ended up looking like Raditz, more or less.    And every Saiyan from Universe 6 looked like they were made of noodles.   

Bardock asks about their kids, and Gine explains that Raditz has been assigned to off-world duty with Prince Vegeta.   As for Kakarot, he’s still in his tank, which just sort of sits in the middle of their home.    Bardock plans to steal a space pod and send Kakarot to another planet, since he thinks Frieza’s going to blow up Planet Vegeta soon, because he believes the Legendary Super Saiyan might appear.

Gine is upset with this, obviously.    What really threw me when I first watched the movie was how all these characters speak of the Legendary Super Saiyan.   No one seems to quite believe in the idea, or maybe it’s more accurate to say that they don’t particularly care if it’s true or not, since it would have happened so long ago.    But there’s a forboding sense that it could happen again.    King Vegeta are looking forward to it, because they think their sons could fill that role.   But Bardock and Gine dread it, because that dumb story convinced Frieza to kill them all, and it’s going to get their son shot into space.   Anyway, anytime someone mentions the Super Saiyan in this movie, someone else always goes “You mean the Legendary Super Saiyan?”   No, mate, I was referring to the ordinary kind you see on every street corner.

Anyway, this was why I started writing my fic, because this legend was such a big deal in early DBZ.    No one in-universe seems to know anything about the previous Super Saiyan.   Even if the guy never existed, you’d expect there to be some details.  My assumption is that this was all lost over the past thousand years, to the point where all anyone remembers is that some Saiyan got tired of being nice and decided to go ape shitt.   And that run of destruction was so memorable that people still talk about it a thousand years later, even after everything else got forgotten.    For me, that’s a writing prompt, and I’ve spent the last four years trying to write a story and build an OC who could make Frieza nervous enough to blow up an entire planet of his own henchmen.  

So when I watched this movie, I sort of worried that one of the characters might drop some new, unwanted lore about the Legendary Super Saiyan.   Up to this point, all we knew about the legend was what Vegeta recalled, but for all I knew Gine studied up on the subject when she took that mythology course at Saiyan University.   “Super Saiyan?   You mean like Topotay, the seven-foot-tall heteronormative man who hated cooking and never left his home planet?”   

So Bardock prepares the pod, and when Gine asks him why he’s bothering, especially when they can’t save themselves, he explains that it’s because he spends all his time fighting that he wants to try to save something for a change.    I like that a lot, because so much of the Saiyan culture in DBZ is extrapolated from Raditz and Vegeta’s perception of it, which is slanted towards ultra-violence and ruthlessness-as-virtue.   And sure, there’s plenty of that.   We get a lot of it in this very movie.    But there’s two sides to the coin.   Paragus was genuinely worried about his son, and Beets seemed to be sympathetic to him as well.    Bardock embraced his wife in front of someone, and now this.   Character traits aren’t hard rules.   It isn’t out-of-character for a violent man to crave peace once in a while, or for a brutal warrior to finally appreciate compassion, especially when he thinks he’s about to die.

The big twist here is that Bardock sent Goku to Earth to save his life.  He was not, as Raditz assumed, deployed to Earth by the Saiyan government to conquer it.    In fact, Bardock chose the Earth specifically because it was far enough out of the way that he didn’t think Frieza would bother with it.   Gine would later contact Raditz to inform him of all of this, but she left out the details of why they did this, probably for fear of being overheard on the communicators.  

In orbit, Frieza’s aides point out that the Saiyans make up half of their fighting force, but Frieza doesn’t care.   He knows the Saiyans aren’t going to quietly tolerate his rule forever, so it’s better to deal with them now.   That’s how afraid of the Super Saiyan he is.   He’d rather blow up half his military than worry about it.    Presumably, King Cold never cared in the first place.   He could barely rememer what a Super Saiyan was, even while he was watching Trunks turn into one.   

Anyway, Frieza does the fingerbang thing, Bardock tries to stop it, but he fails and gets zapped back in time to the Episode of Bardock special, and the planet explodes.    We’ve seen this moment maybe a dozen times by now, but I do like the part where Frieza monitors the destruction on his scouter, and the number of power signals coming from the planet count down to zero. 

Elsewhere, Prince Vegeta’s group hears about this, and they find the whole thing suspicious, because the official story is that the planet got hit by a meteor.    Vegeta and Raditz don’t particularly care.   They both have brothers off-world, but they dismiss them as unimportant weaklings. 

Then we finally flash forward to the main story of the movie.   Baby Kakarot has grown up into Son Goku, the hero of Earth, and Vegeta lives here too, and he’s married the richest lady on the planet.   They both turned into the next Legendary Super Saiyan, and recently they just got done teaming up with Frieza to win the Tournament of Power, proving that their universe deserves to exist.   But Goku and Vegeta still want to get stronger.   Goku, because he wants to fight all those strong guys he met from the other universes, and Vegeta because he’s convinced that Frieza will attack the Earth again now that he’s returned to life.     Also, Beerus and Whis are here, for no particularly good reason.  That seems to be the Dragon Ball Super brand in a nutshell.    What made Movie 14 so good was how they introduced them as new characters, made them the focus of the story, and had them shake things up.    Since then, they just hang out on the sidelines and eat snacks.    

This works out, though, because Bulma gets a call from Trunks about someone breaking into her lab and stealing the six Dragon Balls she had collected, as well as the Dragon Radar.    They quickly realize it was Frieza’s henchmen who did it, and so they head off to find the 7th Dragon Ball before they do.   Whis wants to tag along, but Beerus doesn’t, so she leaves her baby behind and asks him to keep an eye on her.   D’awwwwwwwwww.

On the way to the ice continent where the last ball is located, Goku asks why Bulma was collecting the Dragon Balls in the first place.  She admits that she wanted to ask Shenron to de-age her by about five years.   Just five?   Bulma figures that if she makes herself too young all at once, people will think she had plastic surgery.   Why not just get plastic surgery?     Wait, I’m asking the wrong question here.    Don’t people already think Bulma already had work done?   She hasn’t aged since the Cell Games.

So what does Frieza plan to wish for?   When he first appeared back in early DBZ, he wanted to become immortal.   His aide, whose name I have forgotten, asks if he’s going to try that again, but Frieza says no. 

I’m confused by his reasoning, but Frieza explains that while he was dead and in hell, he realized that it was torture being unable to die or move, so immortality holds no meaning for him.   Okay, but that only happened to you because you died.   Does Frieza think that becoming immortal would leave him unable to move?  Or is he just afraid of getting trapped in some situation where death would be the only release, like when Garlic Junior got trapped in the Dead Zone?

At the very least, I’ll give credit where it’s due: it looks like Toriyama finally gave Frieza a bit of character development to play into his resurrection.   My big complaint about Resurrection F was that Frieza came back to life and immediately went right back to doing all the stupid shit that got him killed in the first place, and it seemed like the 15 years he spent in hell had no effect on him whatsoever.   He wasn’t afraid of dying again, nor was he dismayed by the knowledge of what awaits him on the others side.   Now, in this movie, he at least has some perspective.   Shenron could make Frieza immortal, but he can’t make him stronger than Goku, so maybe he’s worried that Goku might throw him into a black hole or something. 

Even so, it was weird to watch this movie and see a Frieza who utterly does not care about becoming immortal, because he seemed so obsessed with it back on Namek.  But now that I’ve watched DBZ in Japanese, I’ve noticed that Frieza never seemed all that concerned about it.    He’s not Voldemort, who was terrified of death and sought to conquer it, or Kars, who wanted to eliminate his few remaining weaknesses.   Frieza only seemed to want immortality back then because it was the only thing he could think of that he didn’t already have, and maybe to screw with Vegeta, who saw the Dragon Balls as the only way to beat Frieza.    Still, I find it odd that Frieza isn’t even a little worried about what’ll happen to him when he finally kicks the bucket.   His aide suggests that he might wish for an invincible-but-still-mortal body, and Frieza says that would take all the fun out of “the game”.   So I guess he’s adopted an Android 17 outlook on life?   Well, so be it, but he knows he’s going to get hung up on the happy fun tree again whenever he dies of old age, so why doesn’t that weigh on him?    In Movie 15, he seemed to think he only ended up there because he died on Earth.   Does he think if he dies someplace else, that he’ll go to a better hell with free wifi and room service?    If I were Frieza, I’d be doing some serious churchin’ up.

Anyway, his other, cooler aide, Berryblue, already has this figured out: Frieza wants to wish to be taller.  Specifically, five centimeters taller, so that it won’t be too conspicuous.    I really like Berryblue, even though this is about the only thing she does in this movie.   Both of these aides appeared in the flashback, implying that they’ve been with Frieza for decades and somehow survived his fifteen-year death.   There would have been no need for someone like her on his Namek campaign, but the absence of characters like her was exactly why I never cared much for Frieza’s classic henchmen.    They were all jacked up thugs constantly licking Frieza’s boots and not much else.    Berryblue’s not afraid of this guy at all, probably because she changed his space-diapers when he was little, and if he kills her, he won’t have anyone to bring him space-wine from the ship’s space-cellar.   

So why doesn’t Frieza just use his second form, the one he used to fight Piccolo on Namek?   That form was like eight feet tall, but also fuck Frieza’s second form.   He only had those forms to regulate his power, and these days he doesn’t even use them.   He wants to be taller in his default state.   But he doesn’t want to be too tall all at once, or it wouldn’t look natural.   This from the guy who went out of his way to turn mustard yellow at full power.

Personally, I’m torn on this whole gag.    It is kind of funny that Frieza is after the same dumb kind of wish that Bulma was, but it’s also kind of stupid that Frieza is after the exact same thing that Commander Red wanted way back in the original Dragon Ball.   The problem with bringing Frieza back is that no one knows what to do with him.     They already had him attack Earth again, die again, and come back again.   We’ve even seen him team up with the good guys.    But DBS ended with him going off on his merry way, and it looks like he’s rebuilding the Frieza Force, but that feels kind of hollow while he has Goku and Vegeta on his mind.     Having him make another go at the Dragon Balls is a solid move, except the Dragon Balls alone aren’t a motivation because you still need to have something to wish for.    This whole “5cm taller” thing just feels like a gag to cover the lack of an actual answer to the problem.  

  Meanwhile, let’s check in on these two.  The green lady is Cheelai, and the orange guy is Leemo.   They’re in the Frieza Force, but not as warriors.   Leemo’s just a transport pilot, and I don’t really know what Cheelai’s official job is, but their current assignment is to search the galaxy for strong warriors to recruit for Frieza’s army.    When you think about it, Frieza’s pretty bad at this whole “private army” business.   King Cold left him the entire Saiyan race, the Ginyu Force, Zarbon, Dodoria, and whoever else.   First, Frieza wiped out the Saiyans, which made up half of his soldiers.    Then he deployed his finest troops to Namek, where they al got taken out by Goku and Vegeta, two of the Saiyans he neglected to kill.    Then Frieza gets himself and King Cold killed on a pointless revenge mission, leaving Sorbet to try to keep the whole thing going.    Across a fifteen year period, Sorbet probably loses a lot of good soldiers to insurrections and desertion.  Then Frieza comes back and assembles an army of 1000 warriors, and he kills all of them on another pointless revenge mission.

So yeah, in this scene, Cheelai laments that there just aren’t many warriors out there with a power level greater than 1000.   Well there used to be, until Frieza got them all killed.  Now he’s down to scrubs like Leemo, who’s worked for Frieza for decades, but can’t fight worth a damn.    According to Cheelai, she only joined up because she stole a spaceship or something, and knew the authorities wouldn’t chase after her if she was in the Frieza Force.    Really?  I don’t think Frieza would go out of his way to personally avenge or rescue her if the Galactic Patrol caught her.   

There’s a cute gag here where Cheelai mentions how Frieza turned out to be shorter than she expected, and Leemo warns her never to say that again if she values her life, recalling how Berryblue mentioned that Frieza used to execute some of his men for mocking his height behind his back.   Gee, why could Frieza have a staffing problem?    This is why Cell is the best villain.   He’s plenty tall, and he’s not so friggin’ insecure, and he can handle his own shit.

Anyway, the pair pick up a distress signal and it turns out it’s coming from Vampa, where they find Paragus striking... a pose.   Yes.   It’s like he knew he’d be wearing a shower curtain over his legs for the rest of the movie so he wanted to flaunt his goodies now while he still had the chance.

Paragus is now old and grey-headed, but he still has a power level of 4200, which is weaker than Nappa, but still good enough that Leemo and Cheelai are thrilled to take him back on their ship.   But then they get attacked by the giant head lice on Vampa, and Paragus calls for Broly to save them...

...And Cheelai is astounded by his power, which is too high to measure on the scouter.   That... doesn’t mean a whole lot these days, unless they increased the scouters’ range since the Freiza Saga.   Hers doesn’t explode, at least, so they managed to improve that much in the past twenty years.   

So on the ride back, Cheelai spends some time with Broly and gives him ration bars, or maybe it’s just candy, I dunno.    Paragus tells Broly to thank her, but she finds it too formal, and teaches the “Okay” sign as she tells Broly to just say “thank you” and leave it at that.    

Aboard Frieza’s ship, Paragus explains that he had to cut off Broly’s tail because he was getting too powerful, and that Broly would have these surges in power where he would lose all control of himself.   To deal with these, he put a shock collar on Broly’s neck, and he keeps the remote in his fanny pack.   He demonstrates how it works, and Leemo and Cheelai are horrified.

But they’re not so horrified that they balk at their reward for finding these two.  Apparently everyone in DBZ outer space gets paid in ball-point pens.

After Leemo and Cheelai leave, Frieza explains to Paragus that Planet Vegeta was destroyed a long time ago, though he neglects to mention that he did the destroying.   Not that Paragus cares, since he gave up on ever going back there because of King Vegeta.   Frieza mentions that Prince Vegeta is still alive on Earth, and offers to help him get revenge.   

Notably in this scene, Frieza refers to Prince Vegeta as “Vegeta IV,” which makes his dad King Vegeta III.   It’s nice to finally have that settled after all these years.    

I hadn’t noticed this until now, but there’s another lady on the ship besides Cheelai and Berryblue.   Probably not that remarkable, since Cheelai already explained that Frieza was hiring more women now that he couldn’t afford to be picky.   There are sources that say Frieza’s organization just didn’t allow women, period, but I always find those sort of absolutes hard to believe.   There’s also been talk that Frieza’s species has no gender, which is entirely plausible, but then why should Frieza bother with making sexist hiring policies?   

Wait, maybe Frieza got frustrated with it.   Like, he kept misgengering his staff, and he didn’t like looking foolish, so he just went, you know what, no women.   That actually makes some sense, especially in light of this movie, where he’s on a hiring spree for his ultra-important campaign to grow two whole inches.

Oh, wait, I just remembered that tough-looking lady they introduced for Dragon Ball Z: Kakarot.    I guess she was working for Frieza the whole time, but maybe he made special exceptions for quality talent.    Or he separated his crews by gender, so whenever he boards a different ship someone has to tell him which pronouns to use.    This is why Cell’s the best villain, because if you tell him your pronouns, he’ll just fucking remember instead of being a jackass about it.    All thanks to Piccolo’s cells.   Also Nappa’s.  

When Broly and Paragus come down for some food, Cheelai invites them to their table, but Paragus isn’t interested in chatting, and Broly doesn’t seem to know how.   Cheelai asks him why he’s still wearing the green fur around his waist, but when she tries to touch it he flips out, and she backs off.     Mostly, I just like this shot of Cheelai here.  

Also this one, where she gets upset with Paragus for not allowing Broly to tell his tragic backstory.   But we’ll have to save that for the second half of this review.

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