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howlingday · 7 months

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swashbuckler au: weiss and jaune end up having a duel, and while weiss can't say he's the best swordsman she's ever faced she can say that he's the most adaptable fighting she's ever seen tldr: jaune pulls some jackie chan improvisation using the environment in unorthodox ways to win fights. slapstick action comedy ensues

Part 1

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You know those awkward family dinners? The ones where the room is tense and feels like it's filled with gunpowder, and all it takes is just one word to set it all off? Yeah, those ones.

Well, Jaune usually felt that every dinner since taking up his father's mantle as the Hero of Aquadia. Tonight, however, was especially tense since the four people hired to hunt him down were also here, eating his mother's special occasion chicken and spice. Now there was heat to help the spark.

"Hah... Hah..." The girl in red huffed as she reached for her glass of milk.

"Is it too hot?" Mom asked. "I usually cut back when we entertain guests."

"My sister never really liked spicy food." Joked the older girl. "Dad used to joke they're the reason she drinks so much milk."

"You sure he wasn't just milking you for a laugh?" Jaune's dad pointed at her with his fork, receiving a fork-point back.

"Please, don't give her any material." The girl in white said with a sigh. Jaune couldn't explain what it was, but there was something about her that seemed... familiar. "Anyway, what exactly is our task in Aquafia? Beyond the scope of capturing this "folk hero" running around in the city?"

"He's not a folk hero."

...

The room was quiet at that. Everyone was staring at me. Why was everyone staring at me? Don't tell me I-

"Care to elaborate on that, Mr..?"

"A-Arc." Jaune gulped chicken. "Jaune Arc. Short, sweet, and rolls off the tongue. The ladies love it."

"Do they, though?" Ruby asked.

"Yes, do they, Jaune?" His father sneered with a sinister grin. Sometimes, Jaune hated his father.

"Please excuse my son's outburst." His mom stated, dabbing her lips with her napkin. "He's a fan of La Lama Lunga de la Aquadia."

"The who the what?" Ruby asked.

"The Longblade of Aquadia." Blake answered. "The hero we met in the street earlier."

"And failed to capture." Mother said over folded fingers. She wasn't happy. Trust me, I'm an expert at making Mom not happy.

"He's crafty." Yang replied. "Really gave us the slip in the harbor after that Grimm attack."

"Haha! Oh, I wish I could have seen that!" Jaune's heart swelled at his father's words, even if these girls were giving him too much credit.

"And the city thanks you for protecting her citizens from the Grimm." His mother tried to get the discussion back to the mission. "But in regard to your real task, you can discuss the details in full with my son and my husband. I try not to involve myself in these childish escapades of heroism."

Jaune sank a little at that. "Sit up straight!" Okay, he sank a lot at it, but could you blame him? His mom just called him, as fancy as possible, out as a child playing hero! Still, his dad was stillin his usual high spirits. Kinda made him wonder how she never caught Dad when he was La Lama Lunga.

"It seems weird, though," The young girl said, "that the mayor of Aquadia would want to capture the hero of her city."

"He's a relic of the past, Ms. Rose." Mother dabbed her lips as she stopd up. "And though we are grateful for his protection in ages past, we must look to the future. If we wish to establish good relations beyond Aquadia, we must prove that we do not rely on fairy tales for our protection, and certainly not on vigilantes, either."

"So to make Aquadia a viable trading partner and member of the kingdom, you want us to hunt down the city's only protector?" Blake asked with a raised brow.

"We have guardsmen and a militia of retired soldiers acting as our reserve defense." Circling the table like a shark, the mayor made her case. "If Aquadia can prove we are just as capable as the northern cities in Vale, then we can prove that we are not merely a tourist trap of a bygone age."

"Oof, politics." Dad said. "Think it's time I called it a night. This talk of fairy tales and whatnot is giving me indigestion."

"We should also head back." Ruby said. "Thank you for the meal, but now it's time for Team RWBY to get to work! Starting tonight!"

Jaune swallowed his chicken a little hard, and started coughing up spices. Everyone stared at him again.

"S-Sorry." He said. "Uh, wrong hole."

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You know what the best part about being a hero in your city? The nighttime patrols. Just you, the chirping creatures of the night, and the pale moon shining into the caldera city at midnight. It's almost therapeutic.

Jaune understood what his mom was getting at, bringing the other cities closer to them by getting rid of the one aspect that separates Aquadia from everywhere else on Remnant. Kinda like how Mistral has that famous sport lady. Pyra, or something.

Still, he doubted she would be getting hunted down just so her city can build economic ties to the rest of the kingdom.

Coming from the docks where an old woman was saying her prayers in a window beneath him, Jaune kept being reminded of why he loves this city. The teenage kids sneaking around after curfew, the young lovers holding hands in gondola rides, the white glyph shining right in front of hi-

Wait a minute.

"Hold it right there, llama loonga!" The girl in white from before swiped her blade at him. Jaune barely had time to catch it as he brought his own blade to his defense.

"It's actually La Lama Lunga, princess." Jaune shoved her away.

"It's heiress, actually." The girl held a fencing position, and judging by her stance, she meant it.

This was bad for so many reasons.

First, this would be completely different from Grimm or rowdy thieving hooligans. He was fighting a genuine huntress, an actual fighter. What little he learned about them ws in one ear and out the other. What? Huntsmen just aren't as fascinating as La Lama Lunga.

Second, his opponent was not only a trained warrior, but she was actually trained in the same weapon as he was! And making this particular dilemma even worse was Jaune didn't know how to actually fence. Sure, he's got the basics from what his dad taught him, but this was a huntress with a semblance.

And that semblance was-

"Are you going to just stand there and stare at me while I arrest you?" She asked, getting closer. "If so, then by all means, continue."

Taking his own stance, he gulped. Come on... Remember what Dad taught you. 'If you ever find yourself outmatched, there's no shame in running.' Jaune took a step back. 'Unless your opponent is smaller than you, then you definitely should feel ashamed.' Jaune kept his feet planted.

She got closer. Oh crap, this really happening to him, isn't it? Oh crap, oh crap, oh crap-

"CRAP!" Jaune leapt out of the way of her thrust. He stepped on his back feet over and over until he caught himself on the edge of the rooftop.

Suddenly, nothing came to his mind. All of his father's lessons fell away as he realized this would be how he died. How the legend ended. He wanted to cry. He wanted to curl into a ball. But neither option was available. So instead...

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" La Lama Lunga ran forward, swinging his blade wildly at the foreign girl. Fear filled her eyes as she backed away, unsure of how to respond! His movements were too sporadic, too unorthodox! She'd never seen a fighting style like this before!

Suddenly, he tripped and fell over, dropping his weapon. He rolled forward, almost falling over the edge. Reaching down, he grabbed a potted flower and tossed it at her. She ducked, narrowly missing a bruise, only to be forced on the backfoot by the vigilante once more when he grabbed his blade again. Then...

"AGH!" She fell off! Jaune ran over to the side and looked down, finding the girl landed safe and sound... into a compost heap.

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"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Yang couldn't stop laughing at breakfast, smashing her fist on the table.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY!" Weiss screeched from inside the shower, on her third attempt to clean herself of the stench. "WHY WOULD THIS CITY EVEN NEED COMPOST?!"

"Apparently, the compost helps improve the soil development for the farms outside the caldera." Blake answered, reading the info pamphlet on compost provided. "The humid air compounded by the naturally occurring chemicals produced in the water make for an improved-"

"IT WAS RHETORICAL, BLAKE!"

"Jeez, this guy really is no joke." Ruby sighed. "Not only to escape all of us, but he managed to beat Weiss, too!"

"N... Not really that hard, Rubes." Yang breathed.

"SHUT UP, XIAO LONG!"

"But don't you worry." Yang pumped a thumb to herself. "With me and Blakey on the case, ain't no way sword boy is gonna last another night."

#rwby #la lama lunga au #rwby au #jaune arc #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #yang xiao long #papa arc #mama arc

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theclairvoyage · 1 month

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Centrifugation: Chapter 2

Warnings: brief mentions of violence, alcohol consumption, fluff, kissing, groping, talks of divorce

WC: 4.3k

Series Masterlist

Friday, October 15th | 1730

After Joel left, the cops showed up shortly after and you gave your statement. They assured you if Cedric returned, he would be arrested. Trina permanently deferred him in the system, preventing him from checking in. You felt some relief at that but were concerned about him waiting for you in the parking lot after your shift. Keri offers to walk you to your car after you both clock out.

“Love, today was rough… so fucking glad it’s Friday. Want to grab a drink?” she asks. You nod fervently, the idea of a cold beer immediately resurrecting you from the depths of this terrible day.

“McKinney’s?” you offer.

She smiles brightly and nods in agreement. “I’ll come get you. Just text me when you’re ready.”

McKinney’s is a local Irish dive bar, and the plasma center staff are regulars. The bartenders are awesome, drinks are dirt cheap, and horrific karaoke is every Friday.

Once you get to your apartment, you take a hot, hot shower, rubbing off the stress and sweat from the day. You think about Joel’s soft touch and how comforting he was. You also think about the way he looked at you, causing arousal to pool in your lower belly. No time to feen over a stranger, you think, washing the premature fantasy out of your mind.

You do a quick towel dry and style your hair, throw on some low-rise jeans that hug your ass, and a skintight black shirt that’s not quite cropped, not quite full-length. You put on bare-minimum makeup, spray on some of your favorite musky perfume, step into some sandals, and give yourself a quick mirror check. Your hipbones are peeking out between the bottom of your shirt and the top of your jeans. The black shirt dips down low enough to show your collarbones and part of your shoulders. You’re glowing, which is surprising, given the shitty day you had. You’re not dressed overtly sexy, but you know how the men at the dive bar will react to a little skin and curves. Fuck it. Nothing wrong with a little attention. You grab your phone and text Keri that you’re ready.

Keri: Sounds good. I’ll be there in 10.

You open the fridge and grab some small Fireball shooters for the drive. Not long thereafter, you hear Keri’s honk outside the building. Keri prefers to drive when you two have outings, which you don’t mind at all. She’s got a nice house in the Benson area, not too far from work or from your apartment. She’s divorced and about 10 years your senior. The two of you have always clicked, and you enjoy spending time with her in and outside of work.

You: Bet. Shooters engaged.

You trot to her car, holding up the shooters and grinning once she’s in view. She grimaces. You hop in and crack the shooters open, clink yours against hers and take the shot, the spicy cinnamon liquor trickling down your throat, burning as it travels down the ridges.

“Ready to get your drank on, bitch?” Keri coughs, and you both cackle.

Shortly thereafter, you arrive at McKinney’s. The parking lot is jam-packed, meaning you’ll probably have a smorgasbord of awful karaoke singers lining up. You walk in and take your usual spots at the bar, facing the karaoke stage. One of your favorite bartenders, Jessica, greets you and Keri. “Hey, ladies. Heard there was a ruckus at the plasma center today,” she says, motioning over at Blake and some other employees at one of the tables by the stage, who wave at you both. You both laugh and wave back. “Jess, it was fucking nuts. This one here about got hep C. Cops got called and everything,” Keri says.

“Jesus… well, the first round’s on me. Sorry you had to deal with that,” Jess says, bringing over a pitcher of Busch Light. Not your favorite, but when pitchers are $5, it’s hard to pass up. Keri pours you both a glass and you clink them together before taking a big swig.

You both join the table with the rest of the employees, putting some tables together and chatting. You get up to go to the bathroom. On your way back, you stop by the bar and ask Jess for a couple more pitchers. She obliges, and you wait at the bar while she fills them up.

“Hey, darlin’. Can’t imagine why you’d be here on a night like this,” a deep Southern drawl croons in your ear, coating your name in velvet. You freeze and look behind you to see Joel. He’s swapped his red flannel for a blue one that hugs his biceps and traps, along with some black jeans and boots. His hair is slicked back, showing off gray stripes that wrap the front and sides of his face. What enraptures you most, however, is his scent that you somehow failed to notice earlier today. He smells of sandalwood and bourbon, spicy and musky at the same time. You figure it’s probably time to respond to him when you see him smirk and raise his eyebrows at you.

“Hi, Joel! What are you doing here?” You say, attempting to stop drooling over him. Luckily for you, though, he’s making no attempt to stop staring at you. He takes you in, looking at you from head to toe with that strange look in his eyes you’ve seen for the third time today. Your stomach does a few back handsprings. Those low riders that hug your ass were a great idea.

“Keri told me today this is where the cool people in Omaha hang out at, so it’s only natural that I stop by,” he says, grinning at you. You giggle and lightly smack his arm, the liquid courage giving you balls you thought you never had. Now it makes sense why Keri suggested you go here this evening.

“Are you doin’ better, sweetheart? Know today was rough for ya,” he asks, his gaze on you now tender. Warmth washes over you and you smile at him, putting a hand on his chest. Joel feels a soft burn where your hand lies and worries you can feel his heart palpitate underneath your fingertips.

“Yes, much better. I wanted to say thank you for being there for me. It meant a lot to me,” you say, watching his cheeks curl into a soft smile and a blush creeping up his neck. Still feeling ballsy, you ask if he wants to sit at the bar or join the group.

“Doesn’t matter to me, darlin’. You lead the way,” he hums. You decide you want to spend some alone time with Joel for a bit before returning to the group. “Sit here,” you say, gesturing to two stools at the bar. “I’ll drop these pitchers off and come back.” He nods and half-sits on one of the stools. You hoist the pitchers and walk over to the table, making sure to swing your hips just in case he’s watching.

Keri grins at you. You give her a smirk. “I see what you did there, Ker,” you giggle. She shrugs, taking a sip of beer. “Not sure what you’re talking about, girl!” Uh huh. You roll your eyes as you drop the pitchers off and return to the bar.

Joel watches you walk back, that half-smile plastered on his face and his eyes flashing black as they travel up and down your body. You hop up on the bar stool and give him a quizzical look. “What are you staring at, cowboy?”

“The prettiest woman I’ve seen since I’ve been in Omaha… maybe even ever,” he says in a low voice, getting closer to your ear. The small hairs on your ear prick up, like his voice is their magnet. You feel tingles travel down your neck and spine, landing at your core, and clamp your legs together. Fuuuuck. He continues, “I feel like I’ve known you a long time… I feel crazy sayin’ that knowin’ damn well we just met today.”

“I feel the same way,” you say, “It really hit me today when we were at the picnic table.” He nods in agreement. You stare at each other, and time stops for a moment. The bar is buzzing, but all you can see and hear is Joel, and he you. Hopefully this isn’t just the booze and a bad day.

The karaoke host gets on the mic and taps it a few times to let the patrons know karaoke is starting soon. People travel up to him to put their names in the queue, including some people from your work group.

Joel puts an arm around your shoulders, lightly rubbing the skin on your arm. “You want somethin’ else to drink?” You turn to him and nod, noticing he’s got a glass of what appears to be whiskey. He calls Jess over and you order a Dos Equis Ambar.

“Beer girl, huh?” he chuckles.

“Love my beer. I’ll drink just about anything, though… except whiskey,” you scrunch your nose at his drink, and he laughs.

“It’s not that bad. Tough thing like you could down it, easily,” he jokes, squeezing your shoulder playfully. “Here, take a sip and see what ya think.” You pick up the glass and look down at it, grimacing from the smell.

“So… how do I do this? The expert way of course,” You ask. One side of his mouth curls up in a smirk.

“Take a smaller sip and swish it ‘round your mouth to get the flavors. I warn ya, it’s gonna burn a lil’ bit,” he cautions. You do as he says, trying not to make a face at the sting on your tongue and cheeks. You taste nothing but pure, smoky alcohol. He guffaws.

“That’s gotta be straight ethanol with some food dye,” you grimace, smacking your lips a few times and wash the whiskey down with a sip of your beer. “My tongue is on fire!”

“Told ya. Just gotta get used t’it,” he says, taking a sip and swishing it around like a champ.

As karaoke starts, you both fall in a comfortable rhythm of conversing and getting to know each other. You talk about growing up here in Omaha, going to Lincoln, Nebraska for college, and coming back to be close to your family. Joel talks about growing up in Austin, Texas, and his successful contracting business he runs with his brother, Tommy. He tells you about his 18-year-old daughter, Sarah, who’s in college in Lincoln, Nebraska at your alma mater, hence the move to Omaha. He divorced shortly after she was born and has been virtually single since.

“What about you? Smart, beautiful girl like you gotta be single because she wants to be, not ‘cause she’s short on options,” Joel says, the arm that was around your shoulders earlier traversing across your back, now resting on your opposite thigh. You look at him wistfully.

“Something like that. It’s kinda hard for me to connect with people in that way. I’m… exclusive with my time and energy, I guess. I just value my alone time and time with my friends,” You say honestly, hoping that doesn’t throw him off. You really haven’t had a lot of serious relationships and have always preferred being by yourself. Sure, you had a lot of flings in college, but nobody you wanted to take the next step with.

“I understand. Seems like a good way to live, if ya ask me. Can’t be givin’ everybody your time. I learned that the hard way,” he says, looking away from you, his big, brown eyes shaded in amber melancholy.

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking,” you ask, putting your hand on his leg and squeezing lightly. He reciprocates.

“We had Sarah so young, marriage just seemed like the right thing to do next. Turns out neither of us was ready nor mature enough for that. She wanted to go out and be with other men, and I just wanted to raise my daughter and try and make a livin’,” he says, a sad smile playing on his lips. “Everythin’ happened for a reason, though, can’t say I regret any of it.” You look him in the eyes and give him a sympathetic smile. The way he looks at you is so soft, so tender. Your heart jumps up and down.

“I bet you’re a great dad, I’m sure Sarah appreciates everything you do,” you say, giving him another squeeze. He turns to look at you, eyes blazing with fondness.

“If you’re interested, I’d like you to meet her. She’ll be coming up on weekends here and there during school since it’s only an hour away from here. Oh, and I’d love for you to meet my brother, Tommy. We expanded the business to some parts of the Midwest, so he and his wife moved up here, too.”

“Wow, that’s great… you guys must’ve made all the right business moves. I’d love to meet them,” you say, impressed by him. He snorts.

“Wasn’t always like that. Our pops helped us out a lot early on… two reckless twenty-something men starting a contracting business with no damn idea how to do it. We knew how to do the work, but managin’ it is a whole different ballgame. Plus, I was a single dad not long after we started. Lotta late nights and caffeine. We did alright, though. Got offices in Austin and Dallas, Kansas City, and now Omaha.” He says, running fingers through his silvery hair. You feel yourself grinning at him.

This can’t be real, you think. I just met this man today and already feel so connected to him. Your face must match your deep thinking, because he asks you if everything is alright.

“Yes, absolutely,” you say, because it is. His eyes flicker over your face with quiet adoration. You admire his beard and how his mustache is dark brown, but the hairs littered on his chin and jaw are almost all-white. You swear you see him lean in ever so slightly and turn nervously to take a sip of your beer.

Karaoke stops for the night, and the jukebox starts playing Eric Claptons’ Wonderful Tonight. Joel stands from the stool and holds his hand out. “Wanna dance, pretty girl?”

You blush and take his big, warm hand. “Of course.”

He leads you out to the dance floor, where most patrons have gathered to sway to the music with someone. He holds your right hand with his left and pulls you close to him with his right, wrapping his arm around your waist. You lie your head on his shoulder and let yourself melt into him, wrapping your free arm around his upper back and taking in his scent. He feels so safe, so strong, so firm. You could stand here with him forever.

“You know, every man in here wants you, darlin’,” he whispers in your ear. He feels your smirk on his shoulder.

“Every man?” You ask, taking your head off his shoulder to look him in the eyes. He knows exactly what you’re asking. You’re taken aback at how much desire his eyes hold, looking at you like you really are the prettiest woman he’s ever seen.

“Every man,” he whispers. You’re not sure when he got so close, but you can feel his warm, whiskey-coated breath on your face and your heart starts thumping quickly in your chest.

“I don’t wanna overstep, but I really wanna kiss you,” he says, his eyes traveling from your eyes to your lips and back. Your heart feels like it’s running hurdles over your ribs, down to the pit of your stomach.

“Please do,” you whisper back, licking your lips.

Time seems to pause indefinitely when he leans in and presses his lips to yours. His lips are smooth, a lovely contrast from the coarse hair on his beard tickling your skin. He tastes like whiskey and coffee, and he thinks you taste like beer and heaven. The kiss is slow and gentle at first, like he’s asking for permission. You deepen the kiss, lightly nibbling his lower lip and reaching up to tug on his curls. He groans at that, making your core ignite. He licks into your mouth and your tongues dance along with the music. Both of his arms are now wrapped around you, his big hands lightly pulling up the hem of your shirt to feel warm skin near the waistband of your jeans. He moves his hands up further under your shirt, learning the planes of your back and delighting in the softness of your skin. The heat of his hands and your growing desire is almost too much, and you have an urging need to cool off before you explode into oblivion. You both pull away after who knows how long and look each other in the eyes, four pupils jam-packed with lust.

“Wanna step outside? It’s a little… hot,” you say, still pressed closely to him, and he chuckles while nodding. He takes your hand and leads you to the outdoor patio, where some torches are lit and the music from inside is playing faintly. The fall air whistles as it swoops over you, giving you goosebumps. It’s dimly lit out here, but bright enough that you can see each other in the torch light, the flames dancing playfully over each of your faces.

“Can’t say I’ve ever felt so good from a kiss, darlin’,” Joel says, pulling you into him. You smash your lips against his like you never stopped. One of his hands travels to the back of your head, fingers lightly massaging your scalp; the other hand smoothing down your back until he reaches your ass. A low growl emits from his chest, and you let out a faint moan as he squeezes. Your hands both find home in his slicked, curly hair, tugging a bit and earning you another growl from Joel. You know you’re soaked right now, and you can feel his hardening length poking into your lower stomach.

Normally, you would pull back and distance yourself from someone you’ve only known for less than a day, but something about this man has you seeing stars, clouds, and other celestial bodies. Nothing has ever felt so natural or in sync for you. He must think so, too, as he breaks the kiss to nip down your jaw and neck, soothing the little bites with his tongue afterwards. You moan and feel him grip you tighter in response.

“God, ‘m never gonna forget that beautiful sound,” he hums into your neck, sending you reeling. He licks over to the other side of your neck and kisses his way back up your jaw, back to your ear, where he pulls at the lobe gently with his teeth and sucks it back into his mouth. You suck in a sharp breath and giggle, knowing that you’ve just given away two of your favorite spots to him. He chuckles and continues kissing your neck, jaw, collarbone, and ears, simultaneously scratching your smooth skin with his facial hair. Your skin tastes like vanilla and tangerine, and he marvels at how soft you are and relishes in the sounds he’s pulling from your lips. “Fuck, Joel,” you whine, “that feels so good.”

“You taste so good, baby,” he says and returns his mouth to yours, hands roaming all over your body but careful to not overstep boundaries. Your hands do the same, but you both make sure you’re still pressed up as close to each other as possible. You can feel his rock-hard cock ready to burst through the fabric of his jeans and your wetness pooling in your underwear, threatening to trickle down your thighs.

He pulls away briefly and groans, a look of near-despair clouding his amber eyes. “I want you so fuckin’ bad, but I wanna do this right.” You nod in agreement. Snapshots of Joel taking your clothes off and running his hands and tongue all over your body are racing through your mind, but you know he’s right. He’s got the same visions of you in his mind and wants nothing more than to make you feel good – physically and emotionally.

“Not like we need to rush anything,” you say, looking up at him. His smile is so saccharine, and he leans in to kiss you softly on the lips.

“Got nothin’ but time, sweetheart.” He holds you in his arms for a moment, and the door leading to the patio swings open with a squeak. Loud music and warbled voices invade your space momentarily before the door shuts. You look up and see Keri grinning ear to ear.

“See? I told you you wouldn’t regret coming here, Joel,” she says, pursing her lips at the two of you as she brings her beer up for a sip. You stick your tongue out and she giggles, turning to go back inside.

Your gurgling stomach makes its entrance, interrupting your sweet moment with Joel. He chuckles, “Sweetheart, do you wanna go get something to eat? It’s gettin’ late, and I know you had a long day,” he says, his hands crossing up your back and coming to land on your shoulders. You hadn’t noticed until now that your stomach felt tense, like you had a hole in it that food needed to fill. “Probably a good idea… I must’ve forgotten to eat after I left the center today,” you say, rubbing your stomach lightly. You check your watch. 12:53 am. Not too late, but the events of the day are starting to drag your body down into the depths of fatigue. He cups your jaw with both hands and places a chaste kiss on your forehead.

“Let’s go, then, and I’ll take you home. Where d’ya wanna go?” He asks, eyes shifting between yours. You think of all the places that would be open right now, deciding that something quick and greasy is probably the only option. You shrug.

“You’re the local, you be the guide,” he says, releasing you from his embrace and taking your hand. He leads you inside and stops at your work table so you can say goodbye. You wave at everyone and give Keri a quick hug. “You let me know when you get home, alright hon’?” She says, giving you a quick peck on the cheek. “Yes ma’am, you got it,” you say, hugging her tightly.

You two leave hand in hand and walk to Joel’s black pickup, which looks very expensive and very new. You attempt to open the passenger door and he stops you. You raise an eyebrow and give him a confused look. “Sweetheart, I’m a Southern gentleman,” he trills, opening the door for you and ushering you in with a hand on your lower back. You smirk and feel the liquid courage bubbling up again. “Oh yeah? In more ways than one?” His eyes flash with desire, moving up and down your frame as you get comfortable in the passenger seat.

“Don’t get me started on all the ways,” he says, voice deep and eyes fixated on yours. You feel your neck and cheeks heat. This is gonna be tough. Joel shuts your door and trots over to the driver’s side. He pulls out of the parking lot, his free hand reaching over the center console to lace his fingers with yours. “Decide what you want?”

“I’m thinking classic McDonald’s… I’m a cheap date,” you say, squeezing his hand. He laughs.

“We’ll see how long that lasts, darlin’… I gotta take you out for a real date soon,” he grins. Your stomach flips at the thought of going on a real date with Joel.

After you go through the McDonald’s drive through, Joel heads to your place to drop you off. He approaches the entrance to your building and puts the truck in park.

“Do you want to come in?” You ask. He gives you a look, almost pained. “Sure, darlin’. No funny business, I promise,” he responds. You tilt your head at him, amused. “Not sure if we have the same definition of that phrase, but you’re about to find out,” you say, smirking. He scoffs and moves the truck to a parking spot.

You enter the building and head to your door at the end of the first floor. Hopefully it’s clean, you think. You can’t remember the last time a man came over. You pop in your code and open the door, Joel holding the door beside you. You set your purse and keys on the kitchen counter and watch Joel’s eyes examine the place. He looks at the pictures of you and your friends and family hung on the walls.

“Clearly, you’ve always been gorgeous,” he says, pointing to a picture from your 8th grade graduation. Braces and all. You smack his arm playfully. “Shut it. We can’t all be sexy-cowboy-chico-suave like you,” you gripe, making him burst out laughing. “Never heard that one before darlin’, but sexy doesn’t cover you,” he says, eyes traveling up and down your frame. He takes two big steps toward you. “So, what’s your definition of funny business?” he asks, finger tipping your chin up to look at him. You smirk and lead him to the couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on.

“You’re really gonna regret coming over here,” you giggle, pulling up Hulu. You scroll down to continue watching The Golden Girls. Joel groans playfully. “Yeah… we definitely have different definitions of that word,” he says, putting his arm around you and kicking his feet up as you snuggle into him.

taglist: @burntheedges <3

Next Chapter

#joel miller x you #joel miller x f!reader #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #pedro pascal fandom #centrifugation

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iamalasagnagirl · 19 days

Note

Pls, pls, pls I need more WLW book recommendations!!!

Adults, YA, spicy, soft, I don’t care. I just need wlw books because I want to switch from fanfics only to actual books as well

Okay, here we are, enjoy :)

Bright Falls Series by Ashley Herring Blake: 1. Delilah Green Doesn't Care -> Delilah Green swore she would never go back to Bright Falls - nothing is there for her except memories of a lonely childhood - but when Delilah's stepsister pressures her into photographing her wedding with a guilt trip and a large check, Delilah finds herself back in Bright Falls once more. She plans to breeze in and out, but then she sees Claire Sutherland, one of Astrid's stuck-up besties, and decides that maybe there's some fun (and a little retribution) to be had, after all. 2. Astrid Parker Doesn't Fail -> For Astrid Parker failure is unacceptable. When Pru Everwood asks her to be the designer for the Everwood Inn's renovation, which will be featured on a hugely popular home makeover show, Astrid is thrilled. However, Astrid never planned on Jordan Everwood, Pru's granddaughter and the lead carpenter for the renovation, who despises every modern design decision Astrid makes. Is she going to pursue the life that she's expected to lead or the one that she really wants? 3. Iris Kelly doesn't date -> Everyone around Iris Kelly is in love and she’s happy for all of them, truly. Iris doesn’t want any of that—dating, love, romance. She’ll stick to her commitment-free hookups. There’s only one problem—Iris is a romance author facing an imminent deadline for her second book, and she’s completely out of ideas. Perfectly happy to ignore her problems as per usual, Iris goes to a bar and meets a sexy stranger, Stefania, and a night of dancing and making out turns into the worst one-night stand Iris has had in her life. To get her mind off everything, Iris tries out for the lead role in a local play, a queer retelling of Much Ado About Nothing, but comes face-to-face with Stefania, whose real name turns out to be Stevie. Desperate to save face in front of her friends, Stevie asks Iris to play along as her girlfriend. Iris is shocked, but when she realizes the arrangement might provide her with some much-needed romantic content for her book, she agrees. As the two women play the part of a happy couple, lines start to blur.

Falls from grace by Ruby Landers -> Savannah Grace and her band were huge stars in Nashville. Now enlists Noah Lyman - an indie musician - to help her break out of country music and make a name for herself for once and for all. They have to spend the winter in Savannah secluded vacation home in the woods of Vermont, and Noah brings along his best friend Brynn Marshall and pretend she’s his wife? After all, what could possibly go wrong?

The secret of you and me by Melissa Lenhardt -> Nora hasn’t looked back. Not since she fled Texas to start a new life. Now she can live—and love—however she wants. The only problem is that she also left behind the one woman she can’t forget. Now tragedy calls her back home to confront her past—and reconcile her future.

Books by Haley Cass: - Those Who Wait and the follow-up Forever and A Day -> Spencer Sutton, the daughter of a congressman, and Charlotte Thompson, New York City’s youngest deputy mayor, meet on SapphicSpark, a women-seeking-women dating app. Sutton isn’t built for casual, and Charlotte needs to keep a low profile as the race heats up. In spite of that, a friendship blossoms as Charlotte helps Sutton navigate the dating world. - Down to A Science -> Ellie Beckett is a scientific genius finishing a Ph.D. at MIT, sitting on her stool at her favorite bar, putting the final touches on her thesis - her life is predictable and comfortable enough, until the night Mia Sharpe walks in to play pool with some friends and things are never the same again. and On the same Page -> Riley Beckett met Gianna Mäkinen their first year at Boston University, and it changed everything for the both of them. She knows Gianna doesn't do romance or relationships, and she knows nothing could ever come between them. But when a holiday party mix-up sets in motion a domino effect of changes, Riley has to question everything she thought she knew about their relationship. What, exactly, does Gianna mean to her after all? - In the Long Run -> Taylor Vandenberg is busy running a successful travel blog. Brooke Watson and Taylor’s younger brother have been best friends for the majority of their lives. It means that even if Taylor isn’t physically present, she’s always been a part of Brooke’s most monumental life experiences. When Taylor lands back in Faircombe for an extended stay, it leads to more run-ins than Brooke would like. And more feelings than either may want to admit. - When You Least Expect It & Better Than Expected (I haven't had a chance to read them yet, but I have seen them recommended a lot)

If tomorrow doesn't come by Jen St. Jude -> On the morning Avery Byrne plans to end her life, the world discovers there are only nine days left to live: an asteroid is headed for Earth, and no one can stop it. As time runs out and secrets slowly come to light, Avery fights her way home to save the girl she has been in love with her whole life. But can Avery also learn to save herself and find hope again in the tomorrows she has left?

Kiss her once for me by Alison Cochrun -> Ellie had a Christmas Eve meet-cute with a woman at a bookstore that led her to fall in love over the course of a single night. The next year, Andrew, the shop’s landlord where Ellie works, proposes a shocking, drunken plan: a marriage of convenience that will benefit both of them. They make a plan to spend the holidays together at his family cabin to keep up the ruse. But when Andrew introduces his new fiancée to his sister, Ellie is shocked to discover is the mysterious woman she fell for over the year before.

6 times we almost kissed (and one time we did) by Tess Sharpe -> Penny and Tate keep almost kissing. It’s just this confusing thing that keeps happening. You know, from time to time. For basically their entire teenaged existence. They’ve never talked about it. They’ve always ignored it in the aftermath. But now they’re living across the hall from each other. And some things—like their kisses—can’t be almosts forever.

Nottingham: the true story of Robin Hood by Anna Burke -> (A retelling of Robin Hood's story with a Female Robin and wlw couples) After a fateful hunting accident sends her on the run from the law, Robyn finds herself deep in the heart of Sherwood Forest. All she really wants to do is provide for her family and stay out of trouble, but when the Sheriff of Nottingham levies the largest tax in the history of England, she’s forced to take matters into her own hands. Relying on the help of her band of merry women and the Sheriff’s intriguing—and off limits—daughter, Marian, Robyn must find a way to pull off the biggest heist Sherwood has ever seen.

Forget me not by Alyson Derrick -> Stevie has a terrible fall. And when she comes to, she can remember nothing of the last two years—not California, not coming to terms with her sexuality, not even her girlfriend Nora. Suddenly, Stevie finds herself in a life she doesn’t quite understand. And Nora finds herself…forgotten.

It goes like this by Miel Moreland -> Eva, Celeste, Gina, and Steph used to play in world-famous queer pop band called Moonlight Overthrow. But after a sudden falling out leads to the dissolution of the teens' band, their friendship, and Eva and Celeste's starry-eyed romance, nothing is the same. Until a storm devastates their hometown, bringing the four ex-best-friends back together. As they prepare for one last show, they'll discover whether growing up always means growing apart.

Dominion Series by J J Arias: 1. Losing Control -> Talent agent Adriana Ortiz’s world is rocked when she’s thrust into the tumultuous orbit of Roxy, the raw, enigmatic pop rebel with a notorious edge and a guarded heart. Tasked with steering the wild Roxy on a whirlwind tour, Adriana boards Roxy’s opulent tour bus. The nights are filled with roaring crowds, but it’s the electric tension between Roxy and Adriana that sets the air on fire. A forbidden connection that threatens to consume them. Is the wild, unbridled Roxy worth the risk to Adriana’s career, or is she just another woman falling victim to Roxy’s charms? 2. Fighting for Control -> Lola Barros is a rising talent agent burning with ambition. Carmen Vargas is a dedicated lawyer poised to conquer the legal field. Their shared high-rise is the only thing these two powerhouses have in common. After a trivial parking mishap snowballs onto a full-blown feud, Lola and Carmen are thrust into unconventional anger management sessions and their fiery rivalry gives way to smoldering desire. But yielding to desire isn't straightforward. Between the shadows of demanding careers and familial expectations, their love is tested. Can Lola and Carmen find a balance between ambition and affection? 3. Relinquishing Control -> Natalia Flores rules her exclusive talent agency with an iron fist, brokering blockbuster deals while keeping everyone at arm’s length. But beneath the cold exterior lies a heart that yearns to be understood. Enter Professor Samantha Reyes—brilliant, fierce, and unwilling to let Natalia manipulate her way into the film rights to her book. Their encounters spark with tension and undeniable chemistry. In a world where control is everything, can two powerful women let go of their fears to find a love that’s worth the risk?

11:59 by Erica Lee -> TJ Edmonds has created a whole brand around not getting attached to other people. She has a best-selling novel and a popular phone app both dedicated to helping people stay detached from their significant others, so they don't get hurt. But the only reason she can move on so quickly now is because she still hasn't let go of someone from her past. It's easy to guard her heart when she no longer has it to give away. TJ texts Brooke everyday at 11:59 pm with no answers. What happens when, in a moment of weakness, this someone reaches out to TJ?

Price and Prejudice and the city by Rachel Lippincott -> Seventeen-year-old Audrey Cameron has lost her spark. After an embarrassing run-in with her ex-boyfriend, she’s told that she needs to get back out there and take risks. What she doesn't expect is to be transported to Regency England! Lucy Sinclair has her own problems when Audrey lands into her life, claiming to be from two hundred years in the future, it's a welcome distraction.

Never ever getting back together by Sophie Gonzales -> Maya and Skye are invited to star on the reality dating show Second-Chance Romance, to compete for their now famous ex-boyfriend's affections while the whole world watches. Skye wonders if she and Jordy can recapture the spark she knows they had, but Maya has other plans.

The art of us by KL Hughes -> Charlee and Alex fell in love at nineteen and dated for four years. Theirs was an enviable love — evergreen and growing. Unbreakable…Until it broke. Alex’s job now brings her back to Boston, after five years. When, by chance, they meet again, Charlee and Alex are swept up in a whirlwind of heart-rending history, tossed between past and present, and lovers old and new. Will their lingering connection be enough to convince them that some loves are meant to last? Or should the past remain in the past?

That secret something by Emily Wright -> Rebecca Lawson is off-limits. Jess knows this, but Rebecca has captured her heart for as long as she can remember. She’s sporty, tall and confident—all the things Jess is not—but most of all…she’s her best friend Lily’s sister. But when Jess and Rebecca are forced to spend time together the forbidden feelings intensify and sparks begin to fly. Amidst the chaos of raging bridezillas and other wedding disasters, can Jess resist temptation for the sake of her friendship?

The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid -> Aging and reclusive Hollywood movie icon Evelyn Hugo is finally ready to tell the truth about her glamorous and scandalous life. Summoned to Evelyn's luxurious apartment, Monique listens in fascination as the actress tells her story. From making her way to Los Angeles in the 1950s to her decision to leave show business in the '80s, and, of course, the seven husbands along the way

That summer feeling by Bridget Morrissey -> Turns out you're never too old for a summer camp romance. Or a change of heart. When a divorced woman attends a sleepaway camp for adults only, she reconnects with a man from her past - only to catch feelings for his sister instead.

Some of these are my absolute favourites, I've lost count of how many times I've read them. I cannot get enough of "the bright falls series", "One the same page", "Those who wait", "The secret of you and me" and the last entry "Falls From Grace". No matter how many times I read them. And sometimes I wish I could read them again, as if for the first time, if that makes sense. Anyway, I have a lot more titles. Let me know if you want them or not. Enjoy the reading

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cissyenthusiast010155 · 10 months

Note

Cards on the table pt. 3? :')

Absolutely! Thanks for requesting it 🥰 Got some inspiration from one of @your-dungeon ‘s posts about spicy time over the phone… 🤭 Hope you Enjoy!

Cards on the Table Ch 3: We Can Make Long Distance Work ~Professor Alex Blake xFem Professor!Reader

Link to Ch 1 & Ch 2

Mommy… Master List

Requests & Prompt-List

Warnings: NSFW, 18+!!, smut, fuck buddies, phone sex, masturbation, fingering, neediness, etc.

Enjoy (;

Since Friday night, you had immediately noticed a change in Alex’s gate as well as her overall manner. That night had been fucking amazing for you both.

And the two of you met up as much as you could. But it proved difficult with Alex’s job at the university as well as her work with the FBI.

One evening, you were lounging on your couch when you got a phone call… It was Alex. She had been gone for nearly a week on one of her cases, and you were most definitely looking forward to your reunion. You answered.

“Hey Alex!” You chirped, excited that your fuck buddy was coming home tomorrow.

Alex sighed on the other side of the phone.

“What’s up?”

“I’m sorry, Y/N, but I will be gone for a few more days…” she sighed, exhaustion apparent in her tone.

“Oh. That’s alright, it’s not like I won’t be here when you get back.” You tried to lighten the mood with your playfulness.

But Alex wasn’t in the mood.

“How was you day…?” You gently asked.

Another long sigh came from the phone.

“Long. Hard. Busy. I only just now got back to my hotel room, and I’m so tired that I simply collapsed on the bed…” she huffed.

“Hey, at least you have a room to yourself this time, right?”

No response. Then you heard a faint noise.

“Alex?”

“M’mmmm… Right sorry, yea! I have a room to myself…” Alex said.

“I’m sorry your day was so long… I wish you were here with me so I could take care of you…”

Now you got a gasp in response.

“Alex, are you okay?”

Her response was something that sounded an awful like a muffled whimper. Suddenly, it clicked.

“Oh my god…” you chuckled.

“M’mmmm…?” Alex hummed, but it sounded a bit too much like a moan.

“Are you touching yourself?” You giggled, “To my voice?”

The thought made you snake your own hand down your pants and had your fingers circling your clit.

Suddenly, all sounds stopped.

“Aww Baby, don’t be shy now.” You breathily husked, “Let me hear just how much you need me… how desperate you’re getting for my voice…”

Now the sounds were back again. Whimpering… light moans…

“Oh God, Y/N, don’t stop…!” Alex groaned.

“Fuck that’s it… Are you curling your skilled fingers inside yourself, wishing they were my own…?” You lustfully moaned, dipping two of your own fingers into your aching cunt.

“Yes yes GOD yes!!” Alex moaned, “Need you so bad, baby…”

“You have my voice…” You husk, “God, I can imagine you sprawled out on the hotel bed, speedily finger fucking your aching pussy and kneeding those delicious tits of yours…”

A guttural moan left Alex’s throat.

“The thought is making me so wet… Fuck…” you groaned.

“Are you… are you touching yourself…?” Alex let out in gasps, reaching her climax rather quickly now with your help.

“Yessss…” you hissed.

A guttural groan left Alex’s lips, as she came all over her fingers and the bed.

“I’m stuffing my cunt full with my fingers, imagining they are yours, pounding into me relentlessly…FUCK Alex!!” you cried out, cumming all over your own fingers as well.

The next few seconds were filled with labored breathing from both of you.

“We need to meet when I get back.” Alex panted, breaking the silence.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” You panted.

~~~

Alex Blake nee. Miller Masterlist

#cards on the table series #agent alex blake #alex blake x you #alex blake #alex blake nee miller smut #agent alex blake smut #alex blake smut #agent alex blake née miller #alex blake nee miller xreader #alex blake nee miller #alex blake x reader

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irongiant-9000 · 6 months

Text

A New One Shot Story

Hello again!

So I decided to make a story about Knightshade on Archive On Our Own for the two.

It was a more spicy story.

Jaune: It was nothing special...

Blake: ~Ohhhhh I don't know, I think it was special for us my knight~ But if you feel differently about it... We could always try again~

Jaune: Oh boy... 'Gets pulled to the side by his horny kitty.'

Ahem... So if you want to check it out, I'll post the link here.

There you go! If you want to give it read, here it is!

Blake: Oooh Jaune~ Your sooooo deep~

Well I think that's my cue to leave...

#knightshade #jaune x blake #rwby knightshade #jaune arc #blake belladonna #rwby

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 4 months

Note

Okay but that makes me think of a scenario where blake jokingly calls Yang her hubbie and yang calls her her wifey and it annoys the hell out of everyone everytime they do it

Good, Gods, this is amazing! Let's fricken go!

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Ruby: Thanks again for inviting us over for dinner, Blake!

Weiss: Yes, thank you so much for the invitation.

Blake: (from the kitchen) You're welcome. It's the least we can do after you guys helped Yang and I get our stuff moved in.

Ruby: It was no problem! What're teammates and sisters for?! But, where is Yang?

Blake: (placing serving dishes filled with food on the table) She should be here soon, but I can give her a call. She had to make a quick run. (pulls out her scroll and dials Yang's number)

Yang: (answers her scroll on her headset as she's driving Bumblebee 2.0 home) Hey, babe! I'm on my way home now. I should be there in about five minutes.

Blake: (rolls her eyes with a smile before teasing with a shit-eating grin) Well, hurry up. We have company, and they're beginning to wonder where my wonderful hubby is.

Yang: (loosens her grip on the throttle momentarily before picking up speed) Maybe they're just wondering how long they'll get to have my beautiful, amazing, totally sexy wifey to themselves before I get home.

Blake: (blushes with a smirk) Oh, please. As if anyone could compare to you, my blazing fireball of love. They're just counting the seconds until you grace them with your presence.

Yang: (snickers) Save some compliments for when I get there, babe. I might need a little extra sweetness tonight.

Blake: (playfully) Sweetness? I thought you liked it when things got a little spicy.

Yang: (full blown flirting) Only in combat, my gorgeous goddess. When it comes to you, it's all about the sweetness mixed with the spice.

Blake: (twirling her hair around her finger) Well, I'll make sure to have a dessert that matches your taste—sweet and just a hint of mischief.

Yang: (laughing giddily) Deal! I'll see you in a few!

*CLICK*

Blake: (stares at her scroll with a dumb smile on her face before turning back to the table) Uh...

Ruby & Weiss: (looks of pure disgust and diabetic illness spread across their faces)

Ruby: The dessert is right there, Blake!!! (points to the cherry pie on the table)

Blake: (blushes awkwardly) Ummmmm...

Weiss: Good, Gods! Control yourself, you bisexual biohazard! We're about to eat!

#bumbleby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #rwby #weiss schnee #ruby rose #rwby crack post #thank you anon #hubby yang #wifey blake #gods they're just diabetic disasters #not in front of the desert blake!#bisexual biohazard

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goldenshornyjail · 8 months

Note

It’s awful bold to assume Yang would ever top.

It's awful bold to assume that I care if you think she's a bottom, yet here you are. Making assumptions.

*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*

Yang: (wearing a collar with a leash clasped to the D-ring as she snaps her hips forward, hilting a sizeable strap-on into Blake's pussy with a single thrust) That good, babe?

Blake: (holding on to the end of the leash for dear life as Yang pins her wrists above her head - the slick pouring out of her stains the bedsheets and leaves behind a puddle) Gods, yes!!!

#I'm not here to argue the canon of characters #I'm here to write dirty blurbs #yang xiao long #bumbleby #blake belladonna #spicy bees #bumbleby ns/fw #rwby #service top yang #power bottom blake

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storiesofsvu · 11 months

Text

Love Comes Quietly Ch 5

Future Alex Blake x reader Warnings: language, sass, teasing, mentions of sexual themes, alcohol consumption, intoxication, hangovers. Chaotic bestie Emily really coming through here.

Golf.

It was fucking golf.

Indoor mini golf to be exact. Swingers was an all indoor, adult aimed mini golf business that combined the usual putt putt with some of the best street food of D.C and handcrafted cocktails.

And yes. Emily had very purposely left out those details just to toy with you.

It started with a couple of rounds of cocktails, loaded tater tot nachos, fried pickles and you split the pesto burrata pizza and the pepperoni and spicy honey pizza. The vibe in the place was one of a social bar, one where everyone was having a good time, but it wasn’t anything too insane, and you were happy to notice that it was child free. You assumed that was because of the later hour, though you weren’t totally sure. You caught each other up on the weekly gossip while you ate, the best way to wind down after a long week of chasing serial killers. Emily was incredibly thankful to have you around, to have someone she knew she could trust to vent to and that you weren’t one to hold her the standard of being the boss when you were off on your own. You were thankful that she’d taken you under her wing, so to speak, and even more thankful for the friendship that came out of it. It helped you ease into the team even better; she’d been around with them long enough she knew practically everything and was ready and willing to fill in any blanks when you had questions.

She managed to convince you into trying two of their signature shooters before you refilled your cocktails and finally collected your golf equipment and started to make your way through the green.

“Okay, but we’re making this more fun.” She declared as you wandered up to the first hole.

“What’ve you got in mind?” You laughed.

“Whoever gets the ball in with the least putts wins.”

“Yeah that’s generally how golf works Em.” You laughed back and she shot you a glare.

“Whoever loses on each hole,” she gestured to her beer, “drinks.”

“Now that, I can get behind.”

“And if it turns out that that’s boring, you take one sip of your drink per putt that you have to take.”

“Christ Em.” You chuckled, “that could be deadly.”

“You better not suck at mini golf then.” She shrugged and you laughed, snagging her drink from her so she could line up her first shot.

As it turned out, you definitely didn’t suck at mini golf, and at the start, neither did Emily. Which meant it was getting boring. Which meant you were implementing the one sip per putt rule by the time you’d made it to hole number three. By hole number seven, you were both certainly feeling the liquor, which meant you were playing even less well, barely focussing on the golf and more on the gossip.

“Hey, how’s living with Blake going?” Emily asked right as she hit her ball into the side of the ramp, letting out a quiet curse before picking up her drink.

“It’s good.” You replied, watching her wander down the green, “feels kinda weird to call her my roommate, but she’s the best person I’ve lived with.”

“She’s good people.” She replied, lining up her next shot, “and she’s respectful.” Taking the shot she let out a breath of relief when the ball actually ended up in the hole this time, “have you taken advantage of the pool yet?”

“No.” You laughed, moving to take your first shot, “hot tub’s come in very handy after a longer case though.” Swinging the club, it hit the ball and you watched it roll through the green and directly into the hole.

“Oh come on!” Emily swore, shooting you a glare, “new rule, if you get a hole in one, you have to finish your drink.” You glanced between her and your quarter full drink, letting out a sigh.

“Fine. But if I don’t show up for work Monday it’s because you gave me alcohol poisoning.”

��Absolutely not. Too much paperwork.”

You practically snorted at her response, chugging back the last of your drink before you scooped up the golf ball, the two of you stopping to get refills before moving onto the next hole.

“You need to convince Alex into hosting the next get together.” She started, carefully lining up her shot, “Rossi’s place is great and all but it lacks the whole pool and hot tub combo, that would just be far superior.” With a swoop of her club, this time she managed to land a hole in one.

“Better chug up Prentiss.” You handed her back her drink and she scowled at you, grimacing at the full drink and new rule she’d made up herself. She took a step back, starting to drink it as you lined up your shot, “I’ll do my best, I mean it’d kinda be like we’re both hosting, would take some of the responsibility off her.”

“Just tell her you want to host.” She suggested between chugs, wincing as she finally finished the drink.

“If you want to see me in a bikini that bad you could just ask.” You teased, prodding at her ribs with your golf club and she swatted you away.

“Murphy please!” She did her best to burp quietly, the carbonation fighting against her, “while I can completely agree that you’re attractive, you’re not my type, you’re like my sister.”

“That’s exactly what I said about you!” You exclaimed with a laugh, taking your second putt of the round, “you know… I think Alex might have a crush on you.”

“Okay now you’re really getting delusional.” Emily barked out a laugh, “are you sure you’re not the drunk one?”

“Which one of us just chugged a full cocktail?” You asked, landing your next shot, taking three small sips of your drink.

“I hate you.” She grumbled, ordering another drink as the two of you moved onto the next hole. “Blake does not have a crush on me, what got that into your head?”

“She started grilling me about how much time we spend together.” You explained, watching her start her next turn, “seemed pretty convinced that we were either dating or sleeping together.”

“Yeah.” She laughed again, “I’m sure the section chief would be completely okay with that.” Her first hit got the ball almost into the hole, “and what’d’you mean I’m not your type?”

“I could ask you the same thing!” You countered, “I told her that while I can obviously see that you’re hot, it’s not for me. Just because we’re both queer doesn’t mean we’re gonna jump into bed together.”

“Not to mention I’m your boss.” She sunk the ball with her second shot, taking two sips of her fresh drink.

“Yeah sometimes I really wonder about how that happened.” You teased and she shot you a glare.

“Fuck you.” She surveyed you for a minute, watching you line up for the shot, though this time she noticed you holding back just the slightest, not wanting to make the hole in one to have to chug your drink. “You know… I think I get it.”

“What?” You glanced up at her as you crossed through the green to take your second shot and she smirked.

“I’m not your type because you want a mommy.” Her smirk grew when you faltered your shot, the ball shooting all the way back to her feet, “which means that Alex, is exactly your type.”

“Okay now you’re delusional.” You laughed, “she’s my friend, co-worker, that’s it.”

“And they were roommates.” She taunted, causing you to nearly miss the next shot, though you let out a breath when the ball circled around the hole and finally dropped in. You grabbed your drink from her, taking the required three sips. “Are you telling me you don’t think she’s hot?”

“She’s in the same category as you.” You started, “she’s hot, I can appreciate that. I can also appreciate that Morgan’s attractive, considering I don’t swing that way… that definitely means I don’t want to fuck him!”

“Oh don’t ever let him find that out.” She warned with a laugh, “or it will be a daily reminder until you either slap or kiss him.”

“Wasn’t planning on it.” You laughed in return.

“Well, Blake or not, you’re gonna have to find some opportunity to get laid sometime soon. Helps with the stress of the job.”

“Those toy recommendations are doing perfectly fine, thank you.”

“Yeah but that squirting strap would work far better if it was Alex using it on you.” Emily taunted and while you did periodically choke on your drink you managed to collect yourself, stepping up to her.

“Bet it’d look pretty good on you too daddy.”

“Ohoho please, you know it does.” Emily laughed though you noticed the way her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink, her voice lowering briefly “and you wouldn’t even be able to handle it.”

“Which is exactly why you’re not my type.” You laughed, “now pick up the ball, it’s your putt.”

Smirking, thinking that she finally had the upper hand, Emily glanced down the green and lined up her next shot. She couldn’t help but let out a frustrated swear when she immediately sunk the ball into the hole. She pouted in your direction but you simply shrugged, insisting that it was her rule and she scowled, stepping off to the side so she could chug the rest of her drink.

In an attempt to counter her actions on the next hole she took her sweet time, trying to not get it in right away. The only problem being that that meant she was taking twice as many shots, and as it turned out, she wasn’t very good at mini golf as the liquor began to hit. Each hole required her to take more and more drinks since she was using more and more strokes to get the ball where she wanted.

Emily didn’t remember very much at all past the thirteenth hole.

Alex woke up to a quiet house in the morning and since you’d graciously kept it quiet at whatever hour you’d gotten home, she wasn’t about to be petty and bang around the house. She wasn’t sure when you got back, she’d woken up briefly to a couple of bumps in the night, the beeping of the alarm code when you got in. Though part of her knew it was the instinct to want to make sure you were somewhere safe before her subconscious would fully let her fall asleep.

She filled the coffee pot to brew, making sure there would be more than enough for you considering your late night shenanigans and then began to poke around the kitchen for breakfast. You’d taken on most of the cooking the past couple of days and she wasn’t sure what all was left, but she found half a loaf of bread, some perfectly ripened avocados and four eggs left in the carton. The only thing she was missing was tomato, a rather soggy quarter of one left in a Ziploc bag that she tossed in the trash immediately.

Though that was no problem, she’d noticed some ripe ones in the garden a couple of days ago, so she padded across to the patio door and slid it open, slipping into the backyard. Figuring she was already out there she took a the time to water the plants, tended to a few of them, and ended up picking a handful of cherry tomatoes, a couple of small zucchinis and a few carrots. The sun was warm in the sky already and she was thankful it was Sunday and she could actually enjoy the warm weather, likely spend her afternoon out in the yard with a book.

When she wandered back inside she only pulled the screen door shut behind her, letting the warmth and fresh air waft into the house. She washed the vegetables she’d picked, splitting them up appropriately between the counter and fridge. The coffee machine quietly beeped and she paused in her task of food, pulling her faved mug from the cupboard and mixing it how she liked it, taking the much deserved first sip that she let out a happy hum at.

Glancing in the direction of your room she could have sworn she heard noises earlier, but you were showing no signs of being ready for the day yet, so she figured you’d get your own food later. She sliced up the avocado and tomatoes, leaving them on the cutting board while she grabbed a pan to preheat and opened the fridge.

“Is that coffee ready?” Your voice suddenly broke through her silent morning and she nearly jumped, glancing over her shoulder to the hall and her brow furrowed, closing the fridge to find you coming in the back door.

“There you are. I was a little worried, I thought I’d heard you throwing up earlier.”

“Oh.” You winced, “is she still puking?” Right on cue a toilet flush echoed down the hallway.

“What?”

“Emily likes to make up drinking games.” You explained with a small laugh, crossing through the kitchen to fix yourself a coffee.

“Turns out I suck at mini golf.” Emily groaned, finally making her way into the kitchen, “or…. I’m really good at it?” She glanced to you hopefully and you barked out a laugh.

“You got a couple fluke hole in ones. You were terrible.”

“Why is it so bright in here?” She grumbled, grabbing the sunglasses off your head before looking you up and down and realizing how you were dressed. “Did you go on a fucking run?!” She punched you in the shoulder before dropping herself into a stool at the kitchen island. “How are you not dying?”

“I didn’t mix my booze.” You laughed, “and I ate before I met up with you.”

“We had dinner there!”

“We had snacky food that we shared.” You squeezed at her shoulder.

“Did you want breakfast?” Alex asked, a smirk on her lips as she glanced between the two of you.

“Yes please.”

“No!” Emily groaned, burying her face in her arms before looking up with a grimace, reaching out toward you, “I’ll take that coffee though.”

“Ah!” Alex swatted in your direction before pulling a bottle of water from the fridge, sliding it across the island to the other woman, “no caffeine yet. You need to hydrate before you dehydrate all over again. Coffee’s just going to make you feel worse and it’ll fuck up your cortisol levels and make you even more jittery and that hang-xiety will skyrocket.” Her head tilted when all Emily did was glare at her and attempt to steal your coffee again, “you have to listen to me, I’m a doctor.”

“You have a PHD.” Emily’s eyes narrowed, “you’re not a medical doctor.”

“No.” Alex nudged the water closer to her again, “but I was married to one for nearly twenty years.” She turned her back, opening the freezer and digging through it until she found what she was looking for, presenting it to Emily. “Here.”

“I’m really not in the mood for a freezie right now Alex.”

“It’s made of Pedialyte. They taste better and work just as well.”

“You really are a mommy.” She mumbled, the familiar gleam returning to her eyes when she glanced toward you and you choked on your coffee, a stark laugh coming from Alex. “If I finish this do I get coffee?”

“You finish that and some water without puking and I’ll take you to McDonald’s on the way back to your place.”

“Promise?” She pouted in your direction and you laughed again.

“Yeah, just let me change and eat first. Maybe you should eat some crackers.”

“I’m never going out with you again.” She threatened, pulling another laugh from Alex as she turned back to the stove.

“It was all your idea Emily!” You called as you disappeared around the corner of the hallway and Emily scowled in realization that you’d taken your coffee with you.

__________________

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