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#Bram Stoker
bitterkarella · 2 days
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Midnight Pals: Cowboys
m Stoker: i've got a great story for you all tonight Koontz: dracula? Stoker: no dean it's not dracula Barker: you have other stories besides dracula? Stoker: Stoker: yes clive i do have other stories Barker: damn big if true!
Stoker: what are you implying clive? i have plenty of stories! Stoker: i'm not some one hit wonder like mary Mary Shelley: whoa there cowboy Shelley: maybe you wanna back that the fuck up? Stoker: i'm sorry mary, i didn't mean it Stoker: clive got me all riled up
Barker: tho bram does raise an interesting point Shelley: oh does he? does he raise an interesting point? and what would that point be clive? Shelley: think real careful before you answer Barker: i Shelley: real careful Shelley: real fuckin careful Barker: Barker: i withdraw the point
Shelley: i wrote plenty of stories Shelley: not my fault you lot only wanna hear frankenstein all the fuckin time Stoker: see? that's exactly what i'm saying King: ah jeez we're sorry guys King: it's just that, ya know… King: dracula! frankenstein! King: they're so iconic King: they just distract us from all the other stories that you guys apparently wrote
Stoker: that's better Stoker: i didn't JUST write dracula Stoker: i also wrote the lair of the white worm Barker: oh yeah we all remember THAT one Poe: clive
Koontz: do the song! Stoker: the song's not in the story Barker: oh but the song does slap Poe: dean loves the song Poe: we all love the song Stoker: Stoker: siiigh Stoker: [clapping, tapping foot] ohhhh john dampton went a-fishin', a-fishin' by the weir…
Stoker: you all remember the cowboy in dracula? King: of course! the cowboy was the best part! Stoker: well, what would you say if i wrote a story that was ALL cowboys? King: King: so like a western? Stoker: a what?
Stoker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the shoulder of shasta Stoker: a rollicking romance of the old west starring city gal Esse Elstree and rootin' tootin' cowpoke Grizzly Dick- Barker: wait Barker: haha wait Barker: wait ha ha ha ha i'm sorry Barker: what was ha ha ha Barker: what ha ha ha ha
Barker: haha what was that name again ha ha Stoker: Grizzly Dick Barker: hoo ha ha ha oh my GOD Barker: ha ha ha Barker: edgar ha ha Barker: edgar don't you ha ha ha Barker: don't you have anything to say ha ha hoo Poe: cliiiivfffffppppphhhbbttttttahhaah ha ha
Stoker: what's so funny? Barker: nothinggggha ha ha Stoker: do you think there's something funny about Grizzly Dick? Barker: ha ha haaa
Stoker: Grizzly Dick is the best part of the story! Barker: ha ha haaaaaa Stoker: I love Grizzly Dick! Grizzly Dick is my favorite part! Stoker: my wife loves Grizzly Dick!! Barker: hahahahohgodi'mdying
Stoker: next you're going to act like there's something funny about Esse Elstree's stern governess Stoker: miss gimp Barker: HA HAH HAHAAAAA
Stoker: i'm not going to tell the story if you're going to laugh Barker: haha ok ok i'll stop Stoker: ok good Stoker: so anyway Grizzy Dick says Stoker: [ridiculous cowboy voice] "HOWDY PARDNA YIPPEE KAI YAY GIT ON A ROOTIN AND A TOOTIN-" Barker: AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Robert E Howard: ain't nothin funny about this, hombre
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“I am all in a sea of wonders. I doubt; I fear; I think strange things, which I dare not confess to my own soul.”
― Bram Stoker, Dracula.
Ph: draculasswife.reads on ig.
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flyolai-brainrot · 1 day
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preview of what i have been working on for nearly a week (bram!!!)
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ever since the last chapter he's been in my brain so i decided to give him a fancy outfit
(should i make his armor gold colored???)
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strawberryxzx · 3 months
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The vampire bites the woman he desires
my Twitter: https://twitter.com/Overdoserussa
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undeadmichael · 4 months
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Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley and Robert Louis Stevenson reading like that Edgar Allan Poe meme
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thatsbelievable · 8 days
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ryartchus · 22 days
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: )
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dzgrizzle · 1 year
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prokopetz · 4 months
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Modern vampire fiction: Vampires are scheming masterminds whose plots cannot be fathomed by mortal man.
Bram Stoker's Dracula (1897): Most people become mindless animals when they turn into vampires; Dracula is exceptional in that he retained any intelligence at all, but he's still dumb as hell, and his schemes literally only work because he's rich.
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mothmore · 5 months
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something i am utterly obsessed with is the physical copy of dracula that i recently purchased that has , as part of its foreword , some of the original idea notes that bram stoker had about what dracula’s vampiric powers/traits would be.
one of these is that dracula’s likeness cannot be captured in a painting , he always looks like someone else.
which only leads me to imagine a scenario in which the count lines many of his castle hallways with paintings of himself throughout the centuries but none of them look the same and none of them look like him but jonathan can’t help but notice they all somehow look eerily similar.
he brushes it off , assuming they are simply counts of generations past.
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evydraws · 2 months
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"It seemed as if the whole, awful creature were simply gorged with blood; he lay like a filthy leech, exhausted with his repletion."
Bram Stoker's Dracula | portfolio | prints
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daemonologist · 9 months
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reading Dracula has permanently altered my brain. i can never see count dracula as a generic character anymore. he isn't an ooky spooky horror monster he's the old bitch that imprisoned my boy johnny in his shitass castle and killed my beloved lucy and quincey. abraham van helsing isn't synonymous with badass monster hunters he's a 50-year-old dutch doctor who talks funny. i see things and think oh wow this is just like my favorite characters from my book that was written 126 years ago.
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mournfulroses · 11 days
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Bram Stoker, from The Collected Prose Works of Bram Stoker; “Dracula,” wr. c. 1897
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malallory · 6 months
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ORBS
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IT'S ALL BRAM'S FAULT
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zegalba · 1 year
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Bram Stoker’s Dracula, First Edition (1897)
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thatsbelievable · 7 months
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