#Bucky Barnes x female reader
henleys and hair ties- b. barnes
pairings: bucky barnes x reader, one mention of sam wilson
warnings: very fluffy you have no idea
about: domestic fluff with bucky barnes or: prompt y/n buying bucky something unrequested because it made y/n think of him.
a/n: stop i actually really like this, i had bad writers block so i just went to a prompt generator and wrote this
the bags in your hand gently knock against the door of your apartment, the other reusable bags gathered at your feet to let your other hand search for the keys inside your bag. you frown when you can’t find them, turning a bit to dig further inside and leaning your weight against the door. the knob suddenly turns, and you nearly fall when your boyfriend opens the door, but instead, your favorite super-soldier lets you sink into his chest rather than stand there to watch you pummel to the floor.
“doll?” he asks in confusion, looking down at you.
“um, hi, honey,” you greet awkwardly, sprawling your fingers on his chest to push yourself, standing up again to peck bucky’s lips.
“couldn’t find your keys again?” he teases, gently taking the bags from you, although you argue for a second.
“yes,” you grumble, watching as he bends down to collect the bags on the ground. the memory of you struggling to carry all the bags to the car briefly passing through your mind while you observe him effortlessly bringing them to the kitchen. “see, groceries would be a lot easier if i could carry all the bags like they were just a couple of tissues,” you complain, closing the door behind him. “‘told you to wait for me to go,” he reminds, setting everything down on the table and beginning to unpack. “you left the keys on the counter, by the way.”
you look at the counter to find he’s right, exhaling a short breath of annoyance when you realize it’s the third time you’ve forgotten. “another reason to take me with you,” he shrugs, and you breathe out a laugh, “why are you so insistent on going grocery shopping with me? you need to rest after missions like you insist i do. besides, it’s not as fun as you seem to think it is.”
you stand next to him, folding all the bags that are empty. “everything’s fun with you,” he winks, and you bump his hip with yours, a smile on your lips. “so cheesy, mister barnes,” you say, turning to look at him.
“only for you, doll,” he chuckles, handing you another bag. “so how was the store?”
you shrug, “boring. how was the mission?” he hums, putting away the fridge items while you stare at him from the pantry.
“easy. you cleaned up the base for us.”
you smirk, “‘s what i do.” he meets you at the kitchen table, pressing a proud kiss to your cheek. you turn to kiss him properly, twirling one of the loose strands from his bun with your finger. your nail drags on his jaw when you pull away, collecting the heat from his blushing skin. cute. “wanna watch a movie later?” you cock your head at him, grinning when he kisses your nose.
“sam picks today.”
your eyebrows furrow, “sam? is he coming over?” you look at the table, satisfied to find it clean and void of grocery bags.
bucky shakes his head, “no, he just keeps annoying me about this movie i’ve never heard of.”
“ah,” you nod slowly, already knowing what movie he’s talking about, “you really wanna watch mean girls?”
bucky’s shoulders raise cluelessly, “i don’t even know what it’s about.”
you chuckle, guiding your fingers to thread through his vibranium ones, heading to the couch as he trails along when you spot one more bag. “oh! one more thing,” you squeeze his fingers, reaching into the bag to pull out what you bought. “i saw this and remembered how you keep borrowing these because you hate your hair falling into your eyes, and while i really don’t mind, wan and nat kind of do, so i bought you some,” you smile, handing bucky the package of colorful hair ties you picked out for him. “also, you have like, two henleys left since i keep stealing them, so i got you some more.” you motion to the bag, which contains a few henleys in neutral colors. “but, i will probably steal those, too, after you wear them and they smell like you,” you beam, “just to warn you.”
bucky still hasn’t said anything, staring at the hair ties you gave him- bought for him. specifically for him. just because you saw them and thought of him and remembered something about him. his eyes flicker to the bag, and he remembers the way his henleys hung off of your shoulders, the crinkle of your eyes as you tell him they smell like him.
“oh, i almost forgot,” you tap your free palm against your forehead, turning to the kitchen, oblivious to the inner turmoil going on inside bucky’s mind, “i got fresh plums for you since i know you really like them. they’re in the fruit container thing steve got for us-- which, by the way, i am one-hundred percent sure is not a fruit container--” bucky suddenly cuts you off, pulling you to his chest and nuzzling his nose into your hair.
“thank you,” he murmurs, recognizing the warm comforts of your arms as they wrap around his back.
“oh- yeah. it was no problem,” you laugh softly, before settling your cheek on his chest, rubbing your nose on the shirt that smells like a mix of you and him.
your knowledge about the plums-- something he hadn’t even told you, you’d just cared enough to notice- is what makes him shut his eyes as he drinks everything in, the hair ties in his favorite color settled in his hand, the henleys that he can’t wait for you to take again, the little notebook you got him a couple of months before because you had observed he had filled his last one up-- it wraps around him akin to your softness, assuring him that you actually love him, that you pay attention to him and think about him even when he isn’t there.
the tears that gather in his eyes make him pull you closer and kiss your forehead, and although it shouldn’t be, it’s a surprising realization that he’s happy. and maybe he deserves it, too.
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So, ummm Chubby Bucky and Alpine.
This literally stole my heart ❤
Pairing: Chubby Librarian Bucky x Reader.
Warnings: Fluff. Alpine. Chubby Bucky wearing a sweater.
A/N: HC #1
Likes comments and rebogs are appreciated.
Your boyfriend is a softie. He’s as soft as his belly and you love him even more because he’s such a sweetheart. You watched your soft-spoken librarian patiently guide his elderly patrons through the rows of books and read off titles until they find the one they want. He waives fines for any kid who forgets to return their books on time because he’s just happy they’re reading. Bucky orders your favorite books and hides a copy of all new releases under his desk so you always have first dibs.
So it’s no surprise that he would adopt a stray kitten.
The night he found little alpine, it had been drizzling all day. The library was empty most of the day, so he spent his time organizing the shelves, catching up on reading and sending you risque pictures. Even when he’s sending you a filthy snap, his face is burning and you can practically hear his flustered tone when he sends a message right after the pic, asking if you liked it. The familiar shade of bright red gracing his cheeks has you giggling even as you ogle his impressive body. Yes. You like. You like it a lot.
And you planned on showing him how much when he gets off.
You’re waiting for him outside the library in his car with the seat pushed back, your feet on the dash, scrolling through tiktok while Bucky closed up the library. The steady patter of the rain on the windshield lulling you to sleep. Fighting off a yawn, you smile when his picture flashes across your screen. “Hey, Buck-”
Bucky cuts you off with a frantic gasp. “Listen Peach, stay on the line with me, kay?”
You sit up, brows furrowing in concern, you hear rattling in the background. “What? What’s going on baby?”
Bucky clutches the phone to his ear, holding a novel in his other hand, slowly raising it above his head as he peeks around the corner. “Someone broke into the building. They’re messing up my children’s section.”
“Hold I’m coming in-”
“The hell you are! “M not letting some crazy person hurt you. I-” Bucky swallows, pushing down his nerves into his chest, he takes a deep breath. “I got this.” He glances at the book in his hand. “I have a weapon Peach.” Bucky takes another look at his book. Actually no. He really likes this one. He gently sets it down on a table and balls up his fist.
He flinches at the loud crash echoing through the library, whispering that he’s okay. Ignoring your pleas for him to turn around, he follows the noises. This is his library and he’s not going to let anyone mess up his library. Bucky also wants you to think he’s brave but he’s not going to say that aloud.
Bucky skids to a stop, his blue eyes widening in horror. It's not the upturned potted plants or the displays scattered on the floor that he's worried about. One of his favorite novels is on the ground, the spine cracked. Someone hurt one of his books. It takes a lot to upset your man. So when he hissed that he’s going to lose his shit on whoever destroyed a Tolkein book, you sit up even straighter. You feel a tinge of shame at the dull throb that blooms between your thighs. But damn, you didn’t know his voice could get that deep and his angry tone sounds sexy.
You’ll explore that later.
“I’m going to kick their ass, I swear to-” Bucky glances up. His phone drops to the ground and you hear muffled “Oh my god, oh my god peach.”
“Bucky? Bucky!” you call out. The sounds of clattering and a dull thud echo through your phone. You repeat his name but he doesn't respond. Without hesitation, you jump out of your car, you let out a frustrated scream as you get pulled back in by your seatbelt. After a brief fight with it, you manage to free yourself. You run up the stairs to the entrance and burst inside, glancing around the empty space, you sprint past the main desk to the children’s section. Your heart is hammering in your chest, shit why didn’t you grab a weapon. You start to take a book off the shelf figuring you can at least throw it at the intruder. Then you see the author. Oh wait, this is Livingston, no you can’t throw Livingston.
There’s a strange soft rumbling, it sounds so familiar but in your panic, you cant’ fully recognize it, almost like purring but that can't be right, shaking off the thought, you look around. You see a flash of brown hair through the spaces between the books. “Bucky,” you whisper, ducking down. “Are you okay?”
“Heeey Peach.” You tilt your head at his chagrined tone. “You look pretty.” That has you slowly standing up. “I love you.” Your deep sigh reverberates through the room.
You saunter to the next row and immediately burst into giggles. Putting your hand over your mouth, you struggle to find words. You can’t believe what you’re seeing right now.
Your 6’4” sweater-wearing chubby man is cradling an oversized cotton ball with blue eyes. You stare at Bucky with your brows raised. “So you gonna kick his ass huh?”
Bucky ducks his head, his pink lips stretching into a soft smile “Her.”
You know by the way he’s gazing at the curious little kitten kneading her paws into his belly that he already loves her. “Can we keep her Peach?”
Honestly, he doesn’t even have to ask, you’d do anything for this man. You take the fluff ball from his large hands and snuggle the sleepy kitten while he cleans up her mess. By the time, he’s done, he’s already named her alpine and he’s made a space for her by his desk.
You and Alpine wait for him to lock up and you all head back to the car. You shrug when he sees the passenger door open, his smile growing wider. “Thank you for coming to save me Peach.” He kisses your forehead, placing his hand on your back as he helps you inside.
Bucky settles in his seat. “And you,-” he points at the yawning cat on your lap. “-no breaking stuff, do you have any idea how much-” Little Alpine perks up at the sound of his voice and climbs over to his lap. She gazes up at him, purring loudly, she places her head and tiny paws on his belly. “You can do whatever you want.”
You chuckle, muttering, “big ole softie.”
Bucky grins proudly. “Damn right,” Covering Alpine’s ears, he leans over, “but tonight I’ll show you how hard I can get for you.” His lips slot over yours, kissing you until you’re dizzy. Pulling away, he turns on the car. “But first, we’re going to the pet store and buying everything.”
Narrowing your eyes at a still beaming Bucky, you shake your head. If he spoils her the way he spoils you, you know he’s really going to try to buy everything cat item he can get his hands on. “No Bucky, she only needs a few things.”
“All the things Peach. All the things”
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For the Love of the Game - Part Six
Pairing: College!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky Barnes was a menace. NYU’s top baseball player, he was used to girls falling at his feet and could smooth talk his way out of just about anything. You hated him. He couldn’t figure out why. So when the novelty of weekend parties and quick hookups finally wore off—and his feelings for you began to grow—he made it his mission to fix it.
Word count: 6k
Warnings: Angst, mentions of alcohol/drinking, mild language, descriptions of minor injury, fluff >:-)
a/n: Feedback is appreciated :)💛
Series Materlist // Main Masterlist
You sucked cool air through your teeth as Bucky pressed the cotton to your knees once more. He had you sat atop his bathroom counter, jeans replaced by a pair of his shorts with the baseball team’s emblem stamped on the side. He had a million of those; athletes had so many sponsorships they never ran out of clothes.
“I know, doll. Almost done,” Bucky mumbled. “Gotta clean ‘em all the way.”
After falling asleep in his—or Sam’s—passenger seat, you hadn’t woken up until he was opening your door and unbuckling your seatbelt. He tried to carry you up the steps to his small Brooklyn apartment, but you insisted that you were more than capable. He was left following closely behind with outstretched hands fidgeting each time you stumbled.
Once inside, you were quickly supplied with more water and a change of clothes, Bucky ushering you into the bathroom and lifting you onto the counter as soon as you were dressed. You definitely could have done that by yourself.
With another band-aid gently placed on your knee, Bucky rose to his full height. “Hands now,” he all but whispered, reaching for your wrists.
“You don’t need to do this.” Your voice matched his. “It would’ve been fine overnight.”
He paused, letting his thumb brush over the underside of your knuckles. He didn’t meet your eyes. “Are you gonna tell me who pushed you out of that car?”
The heat turned on then, warm air entering the bathroom in a soft gust. You let it reach your skin before responding, goosebumps prickling your arms.
He sighed, eyes falling shut as he shook his head. “Tell me more about freshman year then. When I… when I stood you up.”
“Uh, what about it?” He let you yank your hand away at the first touch of medicine to your palm, patiently waiting as you returned it to his tender grip.
“Were you disappointed?”
You let out a quick laugh, leaning your head against the mirror behind you. “Of course I was disappointed, Bucky. Have you met yourself?” He brought your left hand under the running water of the sink as you continued. “You were the first guy I was interested in at this school, so it was quite the wake up call.”
“And since then? There’re other guys you’ve... been interested in?” He sounded strained as he spoke, and there was a slight grimace on his face.
“Maybe some. But not in the same way.”
His gaze snapped up from your hand in a flash. “Not in the same way?”
“Unfortunately,” you murmured, an uncomfortable smile gracing your lips as his features seemed to burn through you.
“I asked you something earlier—in the car,” Bucky began, dropping your hand to place both of his palms flat against your thighs. “I’m gonna ask you again.”
You felt your heart pick up at his words. He looked so serious; his eyes were darting back and forth between yours and the muscle in his jaw ticked when you looked down at his lips. Your mouth parted to let out a breath at the intensity as his grip on your thighs tightened.
“So ask me.”
“Let me make it up to you, baby. Please.”
And you knew you shouldn’t, but your body was leaning across before you could stop yourself, lips pressed to his in a flurry. His surprised grunt was quickly followed by hands pressing against your waist until you were shuffled to the edge of the counter. His chest was prone to yours as he kissed you deeper and deeper, greedy touches trailing up to your cheeks.
You’d been kissed before, but never like this. Never with fingers threading into your hair, eliciting whimpers from your throat that were met with heavier breaths and teeth pressing against your lips. Never had your hands come up to find purchase in muscular arms, the action causing a deep, yearning groan to reach your ears. And when you pulled yourself closer, legs slotted between his, Bucky let his thumb press your chin up to kiss you even more—he would always want more.
It wasn’t until your hips met his—desperate to relieve the ache building between you—that Bucky broke the kiss. His lips trailed to the corner of your mouth in soft touches, deep breaths huffing along your neck. The thumb against your chin brushed down to the juncture of your shoulder, and his forehead moved up to press to yours.
“I gotta do this right, doll. I gotta show you I mean it,” he whispered, hands coming up to the back of your head to shift your eyes to his. “Let me?”
His pupils were blown—cheeks flushed and lips bruised from your own. His eyes shone with sincerity and an adoration that left your stomach dipping into unknown territory. All of this was unknown territory.
His thumb brushed over your bottom lip as you whispered a quick okay into the air between you. You were dizzy, but it wasn’t from the alcohol anymore.
“Tomorrow?” His question was laced with so much hope, you could hardly deny him.
“Okay, Bucky. Tomorrow.”
His lips turned up in a small, pained smile before he tilted your head down to place a kiss on your hairline. His next words were spoken to your skin. “Are you sure you’re okay, doll? Don’t need anything?”
He’d asked you that so many times.
“I think I’m okay,” you replied, hands coming up to rest on his forearms. “I’m hungry.”
He pulled back, a playful glint in his eye for the first time that night. “I think I can handle that.”
Bucky could definitely handle that—better than you thought he could. He had you sitting on a stool in the kitchen as he worked away at the stove, flipping yet another pancake even though you insisted you’d be okay with something small.
I told you I’d make it up to you, didn’t I? he had quipped, wrapping a blanket around your shoulders. Might as well start now.
“So where’s Sam?” you asked. A comfortable silence had found its way into the kitchen; you could hardly believe your night started out so poorly.
“His sister asked him to watch her kids for the night. Somethin’ about a date maybe? Wasn’t really listening.”
“It’s rude to ignore your friends, Barnes,” you smirked.
“I was a little distracted.” He passed you a plate which you immediately dug into. His food was eerily good for not having a pre-packaged mix.
Your next words were muffled by pancakes. “Distracted by what.”
He looked over at you, affection clear in his eyes as he took in your comfortable state. The blanket he gave you was sliding off your shoulders as you ate and your legs were swinging from the height of the stool.
You swallowed hard. “Me? I wasn’t even there.”
He shook his head fondly. “Exactly.”
Your face burned. How did everything he say have that effect on you? When you didn’t reply, he continued. “Was really worried about you, actually. But Nat said you were studying—” he sent you an accusatory glance “—so I felt better after that. Apparently I shoulda stayed worried longer.”
“I shouldn’t have gone,” you sighed. “It’s just that—” You paused, swirling syrup on the plate with your fork. You’d already been sufficiently embarrassed tonight, there was no need to add something else.
“Hey,” Bucky interrupted your brooding. “Tell me.”
“Nothing could be more stupid than me forgetting about you. Tell me.” He clicked the stove off and leaned against the fridge.
You let out a resigned sigh and kept your gaze on the floor. “You hurt my feelings. When you were embarrassed of me it hurt my feelings.”
“God, why does everyone keep saying that?” His feet came into view before his fingers angled your face up. “Look at me, okay? I haven’t been embarrassed of you a day in my life. There’s nothing I want more than to let everyone know about you—about how amazing you are.”
“I was trying to protect you from this.” He lifted your palms, running gentle fingers over the freshly covered scrapes. “From those jackasses giving you shit. The second I realized I had feelings for you, I cut ‘em off and they weren’t happy about it. I thought you’d understand what I was doin’, but I had no idea I’d already screwed things up a few years ago. I woulda explained more if I knew.”
“I didn’t—I mean you were acting all sketchy, how was I supposed to know?”
He pressed his lips to your palm. “You weren’t, I wasn’t thinkin’. Y/n, I’m bad at this. I’ve never felt this way about someone before, and it makes me do things. Stupid things. Like not tell you the truth about assholes ‘cause I think you’ll ditch me if you know I used to be one of ‘em.”
“Bucky… I know you used to be an asshole.”
“Alright, smartass,” he rolled his eyes. He took your cheeks between his hands, fingers sliding into your hair. “Listen, I’m dyin’ to make you my girl. I’m gonna prove it to you, yeah? Whatever it takes.”
“I believe you, Bucky. You don’t have to—”
“I’m gonna prove it,” he smiled, jostling your head a bit.
“Okay, okay,” you laughed, taking his hands away. “Don’t shake my head, you’re going to give me a concussion with your huge hands.”
He bit his lip to keep an even larger smile at bay. “God, I just—” He stopped himself, nodding to affirm something you couldn’t hear. His eyes never left yours. “You need to get to bed. We have plans tomorrow.”
“I don’t have anything to wear.” You slid off the stool, placing the plate in the sink and following Bucky down the hall.
“I’ll take you by the dorm. Maybe I’ll even make it past the door this time.”
“I don’t see why not. Nat’s at Steve’s for the day so there’s no security guard. I just need to—shit!”
Bucky whipped around faster than you’d ever seen him move. “What? What is it?”
“My phone! I promised Nat I’d call her when I got home from the library and it’s… oh god what time is it? I called her earlier and her phone was dead but I just know she’s going to kill me.”
“Hey, calm down. We’ll call her from my phone, yeah?”
“That’s worse! She’s going to know I lied and she’s scary when you lie.”
“Doll, I hate to say it, but she’s gonna find out anyway. Your hands are all torn up and your phone’s still lost,” he admitted, reaching over to pull the collar of his sweater further up your shoulders.
You let out an indignant huff. “Can I borrow your phone?”
“‘Course you can, c’mon.”
And so you found yourself, sitting on Bucky’s bed with Nat’s voice ringing through the speakers, Bucky sending you sympathetic glances from beside you. You had only been on the phone for a minute, but a minute was long enough for a Romanoff to get their point across.
“Do you have any idea how stupid that was? When you didn’t call, I was about to have Steve drive me around New York to find you! Your location’s off by the way. Did you decide that was a good idea as well?”
“And then I get a call from Bucky? I thought he was going to tell me you were dead, y/n. Dead! I swear to god, you have just absolutely lost your common sense these past few weeks.”
“I’m sorry! I know—”
“No! You don’t talk, you got that? You can talk when I don’t feel like strangling you. Put Bucky on the phone.”
Without so much as a whisper, you passed the phone to him with wide eyes. He took it from you with a grimace. “It’s Bucky.”
You couldn’t make out a single thing she was saying, but the yelling was loud enough to make Bucky wince.
“I know, Nat… No, she’s gonna sleep in my room… I’ll be on the couch… She’s fine, I swear…. Yes, I know she’s allergic to that… I’m not gonna do anything—no, you don’t need to get Steve… Okay, great… Okay, bye.”
“Well?” you asked, body tense.
“I think we’re good?”
You let out a relieved breath that was quickly overturned by nervous fidgeting. “Uh, are you… are you really going to sleep on the couch? In your own apartment?”
“I told you I was gonna do this right, doll. I gotta sleep on the couch.” His hand came to rest on your leg.
You fumbled with his fingers. “Not if we just sleep.”
He watched as your hopeful eyes looked up to meet his. He couldn’t say no to you; the second you brought it up, the subtle request was already set in stone. He’d give you anything.
“You can’t tell Nat.”
The smile you gave him was worth it. He’d let Nat ‘end him’, as she said on the phone, if it meant you looking at him like that forever.
“I’m very good at keeping secrets.”
He raised a brow at you. “Apparently.”
You rolled your eyes, walking around the bed to pull back his blankets and get comfortable. You were surprised by his bedroom just as much as his cooking; everything looked put together and coordinated—nothing like you expected. Maybe things were different when he was partying every day.
He quickly fell into bed beside you, careful not to look too eager. But he was eager. He wanted to feel your body against his as his heartbeat lulled you to sleep. His fingers were itching to stroke down your back as he counted your breaths, just as he imagined. He’d pictured it many times.
But as you laid beside him, shuffling in the blankets to find a good position, he was frozen. Your hair was still mused from the events of the night, and your makeup had been washed off in his sink, but you were so beautiful he was frozen. He’d never spent the night with a girl before, let alone with you. God, he was nervous.
And of course, you noticed. You noticed how stiff he was, stuck on the edge of the queen sized bed. He looked as if he would bolt at any sign of your discomfort, his preoccupation with ‘doing things right’ keeping him from getting a good night’s sleep. This wasn’t exactly what you wanted.
“It’s cold,” you affirmed, breaking the awkward silence of the room.
Bucky shot up immediately. “Let me turn the heat up for you.”
“No, Bucky. I’m just cold. Over here.”
“You’re—Oh! Oh.” He pulled himself back down just as quickly, making his way over to you with hesitancy.
When he reached you, his arms wound around your body, one sliding under your head while the other went around your stomach to pull you closer. He had your back to his chest with his legs carefully tangled with yours. Everything he did was timid.
“Is this better?” His breath puffed against the hair on the back of your head. This man had made out with you in the bathroom earlier, but holding you was making him lose his mind.
“This is perfect.”
He seemed to relax at that, body melting into yours. He nestled his chin into your neck and squeezed you just a little tighter; it felt like a reality check. His fingers were brushing at the sliver of skin exposed by his sweater riding up, the motions causing your lashes to flutter closed.
But Bucky didn’t know you took a little while to fall asleep, your mind always in overdrive even after such a strenuous night. Because after several minutes of your evened out breaths filling the room, you caught a whisper against your neck—a whisper you surely weren’t meant to hear. They were the same words you let slip at the party, but these were clearer and more absolute. These words were practiced.
You were right; this was perfect.
“And you’re sure he said it was okay to use his car?”
“‘Course he did, doll. You heard me on the phone this morning, didn’t you?”
You had heard him on the phone, but it didn’t sound like he was talking to Sam. It was a pretty long conversation—a lot longer than it would take to ask about a car.
You had woken up alone, the blankets beside you curled up to your chin, the blinds cracked to illuminate the wrinkles in the sheets. You laid there for a while, fingers wiggling through the strips of light as you tried to make out the low, muffled voice of Bucky in the other room. He came slinking in a few minutes later, cracking the door quietly until he saw you were already awake.
Damn, he whispered. Was tryna get back before you woke up.
With a quick kiss to your forehead, he had you up and walking down the steps to his apartment in a flash. He hadn’t fully kissed you again since your stunt in the bathroom. You figured that was a conscious choice; you could see the way his gaze would flit down to your lips each time you spoke, as if remembering the feel of them against his own.
You thought he might’ve been taking you to breakfast, the crisp Saturday morning a perfect backdrop for orange juice and gentle touches. But then he took you through a drive-thru, ordering you a coffee and a quick meal and you were instantly lost. Of course, he refused to tell you his plans.
You tried again. “Can I at least have a hint?”
“We’re gonna be there soon,” he laughed. “How was your coffee?”
“Don’t change the subject.” You pointed a finger at him, which he immediately took and brought down to his lap, grasping your hand in his own.
“I’m not! It was an honest question.”
He let his thumb brush the back of your hand as he spoke. It sent you reeling. “You’re trying to distract me and it’s not working.”
His smirk was damning. “I’m not tryna do anything.”
“Yes you are! With your hands and your stupid coffee.”
“If you thought the coffee was stupid, I coulda got you somethin’ else, baby.”
You could feel your chest warming at his words, already too flustered to form a better response. You yanked your hand from his playfully, an act he very much didn’t appreciate.
“Aw, c’mon. You’re not gonna let me hold your hand?” he jested, slapping his chest dramatically.
“Maybe if I knew where we were going, I’d want to hold your hand.”
“Fine, look.” He pointed ahead, the stadium you’d been to hundreds of times coming into view. “Can I hold your hand now?”
You sent him a confused look. “What are we doing here? There’s nothing going on today.”
“Maybe if you were holding my hand, I'd want to tell you.”
You rolled your eyes, slapping your hand into his with a suggestive look. You regretted it soon after, the band-aid Bucky placed on your palm this morning doing little to protect against the impact. You kept a straight face to get your point across.
“Thank you.” He kissed your knuckles. “But I’m still not telling ya.”
You groaned as he pulled into the parking lot, grabbing a spot usually filled by the time you got there. He kept his grip tight as he tugged you through the domed halls, your footsteps echoing off the postered walls. It was weird to be there when it was so empty; it made your stomach bubble up with excitement when Bucky gave you a quick, elated glance.
He stopped in front of the locker rooms, unlocking the door with a key he probably shouldn’t have. At his locker, he flung out a few items before pulling back and slamming it shut, his arms filled.
“You ready?” he beamed.
You gave him an incredulous look. “Ready for what, Bucky?”
He shifted his arms a bit, yanking a hat from the bottom of the pile. “Well, doll.” He secured the hat on your head, tapping your chin lightly on the way down. “You remember the last time you tried to pitch?”
“You mean a year ago? When I got my foot stuck under the rubber?” you laughed.
He hummed in agreement. “Well, I’m gonna teach you how to do it right.”
“Bucky, I’m going to suck. There’s a reason I’m here on a pre-med scholarship.”
“Everyone’s gotta start somewhere,” he proclaimed, guiding you out to the field. “And I’m a great coach.”
“Have you ever even coached anyone?”
“Not yet. But I’ve been playin’ since I was six, so I figure I got it down.”
You awarded him with a joyful laugh, his head tilting back from ahead of you to catch the wrinkles by your eyes. He couldn’t believe he’d gone years without this. He couldn’t believe you’d been here all this time, with your laugh and your smile and your wit—completely perfect and he’d never noticed. He couldn’t picture his life without you now.
You reached the mound, Bucky handing you one of the gloves in his arms and dropping a bucket of balls by your feet. The wind was brisk against your face; it tinged Bucky’s nose pink and made his fingers cold as he tucked some of your hair further into the hat.
You didn’t mind.
“Alright. You might not get it all the way to the plate at first, so for now, we’ll just focus on not getting stuck in the dirt.” You narrowed your eyes at him. “Okay, okay. Sorry, no more jokes. Watch me do it first, okay?”
You stepped back, watching as he pulled his arm back, his whole body pushing into the force. You’d seen him do this plenty of times before, but never up close. His wrist snapped so effortlessly and his feet slid across the dirt in a dance that’d be ingrained into his muscle memory forever. You broke your gaze with the sound of a ball hitting the backboard.
You hadn’t been paying attention to his form at all.
“Think you could do that?”
“Yes.” Probably not.
“Alright,” he smiled, handing you a ball. “Go ahead, doll.” He stepped off the mound, crossing his arms with a glint in his eye as he watched you maneuver yourself to the top of the hill.
You sent him an unsure glance and rolled the ball along the net of the glove. You lined up to the side as you’d seen Bucky do, angling your hips in an awkward position. Your feet felt uncomfortable against the rubber as you attempted to find a good footing.
“Here, baby, like this.” Bucky met you at the top, strong hands firm on your hips and he pushed you into the position he wanted. His words tickled your ear as he spoke. “You gotta twist when you throw it. It’ll add more force.”
Your breath came out in shaky puffs. “What about my leg?”
“When you pull it up,” he began, gripping the outside of your thigh. “Bring your arms down. It’s like a wind-up.” His hand slid back up to your waist, nose nudging behind your ear. “You got that?”
“You’re distracting me again.”
“Now why would I want to do that? This is my big coaching debut—I’ve got a lot to prove.”
You turned your head to meet his gaze, noses brushing. “If you’re banking on me being a success story, you better find someone else. I’m sure there are plenty of people out there that’d love Bucky Barnes coaching them. Maybe you could start a team.”
“I’m pretty happy with my team right now,” he whispered. His eyes moved down to your lips for one fleeting second before he squeezed at your waist, turning you back into position. “Remember what I said. Show me what you got.”
More flustered than ever, you shook your head out and threw the ball. It was awful, just as expected. Bucky’s “coaching” hadn’t helped.
“That’s alright, baby. Go again.”
You huffed. “Buck, if I keep throwing these, we're going to have to chase all over the field to get the damn balls.”
His face lit up. “We might need a catcher then, don’t you think?”
“And leave you up here alone? No way, doll, gotta be able to distract ya.” He jogged to the fence on the other side of the field, the dugout hiding his body for a few quick minutes. “Got you a catcher!” you heard him call.
If you hadn’t already been surprised by this entire morning, seeing Bucky walk back on the field with the school’s Bobcat mascot might’ve made you let out a gasp. Instead, an unexpected laugh bubbled past your lips.
“Bucky, what the hell?” you giggled, watching as the new addition to the field ran to home plate. “Who is that?”
He rejoined you, his hand sliding across your back. “What do you mean? That’s Bobcat, the team’s mascot. You’ve seen him plenty of times.”
“Bucky, who’s inside?”
“That’s classified information, doll. Now square your hips and chuck the ball at him,” he beamed down at you.
You shook your head, but complied, the next few throws just as bad as the first. At least someone was throwing them back now. Whoever was inside that costume had the good sense to throw the balls back to Bucky as well, and he had good form. It was definitely someone you knew, but their height didn’t give anything away.
Bucky sent you cheerful encouragement from his position beside the mound, but it was clear this was amusing him. You had the mascot running from side to side, attempting to catch the balls you threw in every direction. The smile on your face was beginning to hurt from how wide it was; Bucky’s laughs made you forget about the night before—the bad parts anyway.
“Alright, let’s call it a day, doll. Bobcat over there looks about ready to pass out.” He jutted his thumb out to the furry lump collapsed on the floor. “You can clean this up, right Parker?”
“Peter?” you exclaimed, watching as the head was yanked off to reveal the exhausted freshman.
He sent a halfhearted thumbs up into the air. “No problem, Bucky.”
“Peter I—Bucky, we can’t leave him to clean all this up,” you laughed, exasperated.
Bucky threw an arm around your shoulder, shuffling you off the field. “I’m payin’ him $20, he’s fine.”
“Is that who you were on the phone with this morning?”
He leaned down to press a kiss to your cheek. “One of ‘em.”
“Well, I had fun,” you began, the place where his lips touched tingling. “Thank you, Buck. You really—”
“Oh, I’m not done.” He opened your car door, flipping the hat off your head and tossing it in the backseat. “We’re not doin’ exactly what I wanted, but I hope you like it still.”
“And what did you want to do?” you asked, turning to him as he settled in the driver’s side. He looked embarrassed at that, shifting uncomfortably in his seat.
“Well, I called Nat this morning. Got her to tell me the restaurant I was supposed to take you to freshman year. But I called and they had no openings for the day—wouldn’t exactly take $20 like Parker.”
“Oh, Bucky. You didn’t have to do that. I’ve never even eaten there, I just figured you’d like it.”
He groaned. “Don’t say that. Every time you talk about that night I feel like I’m gonna hurl.”
“I’m serious,” you chuckled. “I don’t even know what food they serve there. I just wanted to impress you.”
He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, swiping your hand from your lap and putting the car in drive. “God, I don’t deserve you.”
He had you stumped again.
Bucky had been showing you all over Brooklyn for quite a while, stopping at random food carts and small businesses because you just had to see them. He couldn’t believe you’d lived in the city this long and hadn’t been to the bookstore on Dekalb Ave. You could; the place was impossibly hidden.
You could sense he was stalling. He kept checking his phone screen for the time—a luxury you didn’t have—and gripping your shoulders to move to a new location. It wasn’t until the sun began to drop below the tops of the Brooklyn buildings that your car ride became much longer. The final destination, you hoped.
“Listen, doll.” Bucky had begun to tap his fingers on the steering wheel a few minutes ago, a nervous habit. “I really wanted to show you that you’re important to me—that I care about you. I know it seems like I’ve just been draggin’ you all over Brooklyn, but I gotta reason.”
“No, I had fun, Bucky. Really,” you encouraged, attempting to quell his incessant nerves.
“Good, good, I’m glad. But the reason I did it is comin’ up over there.” He pointed out to a distant lot. “I uh, I called my Ma this morning, while you were sleeping.”
“You seem to have made a lot of phone calls.”
He sent you a nervous smile. “Needed it to be perfect. Anyway, I called her to ask where my Pa took her on their first date. They’ve been together for a long time—about 27 years. I know my old man would beat me over the head if he knew how I’d been actin’. He always raised me to be respectful and all that.”
Your brows shot up. “You don’t listen very well, do you?”
“I know, I know. But I figured what better way to start doin’ things right than to take you to where my folks fell in love? Not that we have to fall in love—I just meant that he seemed to know what he was doin’ and my Ma said girls love drive-in movies. Don’t think I’m pressurin’ you or anything because—”
“Bucky,” you placed a calming hand on his. “I think a drive-in movie sounds great. I didn’t even know there were any near the city.”
He let out a relieved breath. “Okay… okay yeah. It’s just a little ways up. Only plays old movies though. From the 40s I think.”
Bucky had already won you over on the field this morning, but his anxious explanation had you falling for him even more. He called his mom. He held you all night and woke up before the sun so he could call his mom and get advice.
And when he mentioned how long his parents had been together, you just about kissed him right there. He saw a future with you; he wanted to do things like his parents because he saw you as his future. He wanted to fall in love and be married for 27 years and have kids who didn’t listen to him. He wanted you.
Your prejudice had blinded you before; Bucky’s reputation had held him back.
“And what do you know about 40s movies?” you asked, whole body warm with affection—with excitement.
“Oh, I know tons. Big 40s guy over here,” he drawled. His accent was particularly strong tonight, a side effect of spending the entire day in Brooklyn.
“You’ll have to catch me up to speed then. I haven’t seen very many.”
“I’ll do my best,” he winked, pulling up to pay the teller at the entrance.
He drove Sam’s car along the bumps of the lot, finding the perfect spot up at the front. The screen ahead was worn and discolored and you couldn’t help but wonder if it was the same screen his parents looked up at before their date all those years ago. If his mom was as nervous as you were sitting beside a Barnes with their floppy hair and charming smiles. You suspected she was.
You felt Bucky’s gaze on your profile before he spoke up, the movie slowly starting on the screen. “You uh, you look really beautiful by the way. Don’t think I’ve told you that.”
“Bucky, I changed in ten minutes this morning and I still have hat hair from the field,” you laughed, but you felt the heat on your face anyway.
“Doesn’t matter to me. Still the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
You turned to meet his glowing gaze, the black and white film illuminating the planes of his face. “Well, you’re pretty beautiful, too, you know. Probably why you’re so popular.”
He smiled. “I’m the one tryna win you over, doll. You already got me wrapped around your finger—flattery isn’t necessary.”
“Oh, wrapped around my finger?” Your tone was teasing. “Wonder what I could make you do then.”
“I’d do anything.”
There was a lightness to his words, but his eyes bore through you with such sincerity you felt your breath leave you. The movie’s dramatic, melancholy music slowly trickled through the car as Bucky’s eyes dipped down to your lips, once—twice.
If he’d do anything, you knew just what you’d ask for.
“Kiss me then.”
He didn’t need to be told twice.
It was slower this time. His hand came out to gently brush across your cheek with undying adoration before he leaned in. His eyes were tracing over your face before your lips met, mapping out the high points of your brows and the delicate tip of your nose. It was a longing gaze; a longing he would soon remedy.
And when you finally touched—a sigh you didn’t know you were holding shakily making its way out between bodies—Bucky smiled against your lips. A quick smile soon overshadowed by the way his hands pulled you closer, but it ignited a rush beneath your skin you’d never forget.
Because Bucky’s smile was unforgettable, and now you’d had a taste of it on your lips.
He pulled away much sooner than you’d like, the feel of him still impressed upon your skin. “That’s how I shoulda kissed you the first time.”
Your laugh was a breeze between you, eyes fluttering open to meet his. “I liked them both.”
“I’ll give you as many as you want.” Another soft press to your lips. “For as long as you’ll let me.”
“Be careful what you wish for, Barnes,” you teased.
“I love you.”
It was quick, unplanned. You didn’t even think he meant to say it, but the way his eyes were intensely trained on you proved that to be incorrect. He meant to say it, just maybe a little later in the night.
You opened your mouth to respond, eyes wide in astonishment, when he beat you to the punch. “Don’t say anything right now. I just saved you from an awful night and then told you my parents’ great love story before I kissed the life outta you. Your judgment might be clouded.” He brushed his nose to yours. “Tell me how you feel after a few weeks. After I’ve made you mad again and after you’ve met my Ma. She has some stories to tell ya, I bet.”
You pulled back a bit, shaking your head in disbelief. You already knew you loved him. You’d tell him right now if it weren’t for the conviction on his face. But he seemed very adamant that you didn’t say anything until you were very sure, so instead, you just nodded your head.
“Alright, but if you wanna meet my Ma, you gotta say you’ll be my girl.”
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Barnes' miscommunication | Bucky Barnes x Avenger!reader
Summary: Bucky was an idiot, and he tend to push away things he loved, and that included you. When he hurt you, he didn’t realise his apology would be too late. He didn’t know about your past with hydra, which made the situation, worse.
W/c: 5.2k (holy shit that's alot)
Warning(s): ANGST, weapons, harm (not on you), reader abilities, hydra, swearing!
A/N: A lot to write, I couldn’t find a good way to summarise this fic… you’ll just have to read it. There are -- read more-breaks for the story because it is so long.
Any likes, comments and reblogs are always appreciated! Enjoy <33
You were never one to talk; even before you were kidnapped by Hydra, you still didn't really speak. You were quiet and reserved; being an ex-hydra assassin just solidified your personality. There was a lot to know about you, but you never really shared anything about yourself when it came to it. Everyone knew you as Y/n Stark, 'the daughter of Tony and Pepper Stark' and the girl kidnapped when she was five, found by the avengers later in life.
You worked through a lot of things. The therapy Tony and Pepper signed you into helped with the nightmares, but that was about it. But even still, you weren't entirely there; if people didn't know you, your first impression was always coming off as rude and inconsiderate. And you supposed that after all your years working for Hydra, you probably were. You were very much closed off until you met Bucky Barnes.
Bucky Barnes, an ex-hydra assassin, was welcomed into the team just over a year and a half ago. Your dad agreed to the idea because he thought it might be nice for you to have someone else. One who had something in common with you other than, both Natasha and Wanda.
Meeting Bucky was all to be expected; you both got along well, but never once had you shared something about your personal life. You were closed off, and although you and Bucky were civil. He, too, was the same. It was like two peas in a pod.
Over time, it became a love-hate relationship; you'd try your best to be on good terms with Bucky, but over time it felt like he had something against you. You and Bucky were at constant war with each other, and you didn't know what you did for him to hate you so much, or so you thought. You thought that maybe if you tried to tell him that you were an ex-hydra yourself, that may be the pair of you could bond a bit more. But your attempts to do so turned out in failure.
A simple smile would turn into Bucky turning his head away. A good morning, Bucky would walk away. There were definitely good days where he would talk to you, but it wouldn't last long. You guys just didn't really click anymore, and it had been over a year and a half since he had arrived.
Then, not too long ago, Bucky started playing pranks around the compound with Sam. It was their thing. One day when you were about to go on a mission with Nat and Steve, Bucky had accidentally hidden all of your mission weapons, thinking they were Nat's. So you, too, joined in on the fun; two could play at that game, Ex-hydra assassin vs Ex-hydra assassin.
Slowly, you began pranking him back, shaving cream in his boots, salt in his tea or replacing his daggers with dummy knives, just to name a few.
Bucky knew it was you, and he was finding this game pretty fun. There was never a malicious intent behind the minor pranks the both of you played on each other. This quickly became your thing with him and was the reason you two became close again. Spending more time together than usual, you'd spend nights watching films with him, playing board games or even chatting until the earlier hours of the morning. He'd find it weird that you'd be the only one up sometimes, but he never questions it.
It was odd; you were slowly but surely falling in love with Bucky Barnes. You didn't know why or how it happened, but that love for him was there. He made you feel something you had been missing for most of your life.
Bucky, too developed a love for you. He, too, didn't know where it began or how it happened, but he knew that after all his years of not having anyone, he wanted you. Now I suppose when you put two and two together, it's not hard to know that you and Bucky had a thing for each other; the whole team knew it. Your dad knew it too. However, it never went anywhere; You were just as awkward as each other.
Leading to a few nights ago.
There were three hydra missions scheduled in the week; you and Bucky had been assigned to one of the three. When he came back from his mission that day, he was drained and distraught. You went to welcome him home, but he walked right past you and up to his room.
Steve said something about Bucky seeing where they had tortured him for decades, the memories had got to him, and you understood. Steve thought you might be the best to comfort him, but Bucky still had no idea that you had worked for Hydra before, but you never shy away from the fact that you did. If someone asked, you would tell them. Which still confuses you, the fact that it never came up over the year you've known him. You thought surely someone would say something to him if you hadn't.
The only genuine person who ever understood your pain was Wanda. Both you and she were hydra experiments at the same time. You, her and Pietro. Escaping together because of Ultron, and that's how your dad found you. When Pietro died, it was like you were losing a brother. So you stuck by Wanda; she promised to protect you as you would in return. She was the only one to actually understand what you were going through.
Before the hydra mission, he promised that he'd have dinner with you. Something the pair of you had been doing for quite a while now. So here you were, keeping that promise. You stood outside Bucky's door, softly knocking. You had his dinner that you made in your hand, waiting for him to answer. When Bucky didn't answer, you carefully opened the door just a tiny bit to see him sitting at the end of his bed, gripping the sheets tight in his hand.
His little run-in at the Hydra base triggered something in him. It got under his skin, and he was furious. But you knew that; you sensed it as soon as you walked in the door, and little did he know, you could see what had happened. A soft frown appeared on your face as you walked closer, sitting just a bit away from him at the edge of his bed. "Buck? I made dinner," You called; he didn't answer, just sat there breathing heavily.
"Y/n go away," he warned.
Head tilted, you weren't having any of it. Out of anyone besides Wanda, you knew just how bad Hydra could get, and you didn't want him to be alone. "Bucky, I'm not going anywhere, you promised me dinner, and I made it especially for you." You softly spoke, taking a seat next to him.
He turned to you, looking you up and down. Laying a supporting hand on his back, you leaned down a bit to see his face. "You need someone; Steve told me what happened, and he thought I may be the best to--" you couldn't even finish your sentence before he snapped.
"Best to what, y/n? Understand me? NON of you understand me…" he growled. Sitting back a bit, you were stunned; you didn't know where this was coming from. "Bucky… I do understand. I've been trying to tell you for so long that I was-"
"NO y/n, you don't understand anything, you don't understand me, nobody does!" He yelled at you. You weren't scared; you were sad. You had never done anything for him to be this way to you, yet, here he was.
It hurt you to see him like this. "Bucky, please… I just."
"Get out! GET OUT OF MY ROOM; I hate you." Bucky turned, the words seething through his teeth. Your bottom lip quivered as you stood looking directly at him.
"You don't mean that.."
"I really thought that we were okay… I thought that-"
Bucky stood in front of you, your head looking up at him, "I SAID GET OUT Y/N." he pointed to the door.
A tear shed your face, setting the food down on the bed. You held in your whimpers, "W-well, at least eat. I made it just for you." You almost whispered to him. He watched as you walked away; he didn't realise what he had done. Shutting the door on the way out, you cried back to your quarters. Wanda caught you just in time, that sisterly sense she had when you were down. She sat with you all night while you told her what Bucky had said. You felt so stupid.
In the morning,
Bucky had awoken on his floor; getting up, he noticed the food sitting on his bed. Bucky couldn't remember much last night, only that he came home from the mission, and that was about it. He smiled upon seeing the wrapped food; you had written a note on it. The message you had stuck on it before you walked into his room last night because you thought he may have been in the showers.
"Because I know you like sushi, enjoy! :)"
Slipping on a shirt, Bucky collected the plate of food in his arm with a big smile on his face. Walking out and down the hall to your room, just as he was about to knock on the door. Wanda came storming down from the corridor.
"You son of a bitch!", she yelled slapping Bucky's face. The sushi you made, Bucky slipped from his hands, falling onto the floor in between Wanda and him. His mouth agape, he looked stunned. "If you are looking for Y/n, she's gone on her mission." she huffed out. Wanda gave him a nasty look before walking off. He turned quickly, running off to find Wanda. "Wanda? Wanda-" he stopped when he saw her in the kitchen.
"What do you want, Barnes!"
“I want to understand why you slapped me… What did I do? d-did something happen last night?" he asked. Wanda snapped her head in his direction, "Did you do something? Of course, you did!" She yelled. Bucky came closer to her, "I did? I seriously don't remember." he raised his hands up in defence. "I don't…" he hesitantly repeated.
"Well, this might help you!" Wanda brought her hands up, filling Bucky's mind with the memories of last night. It only took a few seconds for Bucky to fall onto his ass. He was speechless; he put his head into his hands. Wanda kneeled down, "What has she ever done to you?" she questions.
"Nothing Wanda… nothing… I don't even remember anything past coming home." He sighed. "I don't give a shit if you don't remember. Make it up to y/n! She loves you, for God sake, and this is how you treat her!" Wanda ranted mindlessly. "S-she loves me?" Bucky looked up and questioned.
Wanda gave him a shit-eating look, "Of course she loves you; everyone knows this!" She sighed, getting up. His face brightened, "I love her too, Wanda!" He spoke. He hadn't said this to anyone until this very moment, but he did love you. This was the reason; it was his fault for your rocky relationship with him. He was scared to love you, thinking you wouldn't love him in return.
Wanda turned around, shocked, "Then why tell the girl you love that you hated her." Bucky didn't know; he tried so hard to remember, "I got worked up over the mission yesterday, I set myself on auto-pilot. I'll make it up to her, I promise." He got up, trying to think about how to make it up to you.
"Bucky. I'm not in a forgiving mood right now. But just know, she has been through a lot, and you're the only one in this building which still doesn't know that. The best thing you can do is listen to her." She spoke before angrily taking her bowl of grapes with her out into the living room where Vision was.
Before the mission,
"Alright, it is a short but stealthy mission. Y/n, Steve, Nat and Clint, you'll be navigating this one." Fury spoke.
"There is intel that there could be valuable information on Hydra hard drives. We need you to extract them and burn any remaining evidence." He spoke again, everyone agreed, looking through the files. Nat had rested a firm hand on yours, "are you sure you're up for this?" She asked. You simply smiled, confirming her question with a nod.
Everyone in the room with you knew your history with Hydra; that's how you became an esteemed Avenger. Telling everyone your story led to you using your skills to help people around the world. It wasn't uncommon for them to occasionally ask if you were okay or wanted to stay behind if it ever came to a hydra mission.
Now hours later, you were on your way back to the compound. Pretty much feeling like shit. You were numb, and there was no energy left in you. Of course, you didn't let your team see it, but you were exhausted. You just wanted to take a nice shower, eat and sleep for days.
The quinjet landed, and everyone was dis-embarking the jet.
Being the last one out, you slowly made your way into the compound. Not wanting to see anyone, you made yourself a tiny portal to your room that you walked through; you couldn't care. You stood in the middle of your room, not knowing what to do with yourself. Sliding slowly against the end of your bed. Still, with your daggers and weapons attached to your mission suit. You curled up, hiding your face into your knees.
Bucky had run out from his room as soon as he heard the quinjet landing. He came into the bay, looking around for you, but all he could see was Steve, Nat and Clint. Steve smiled upon seeing his best friend, "Hey Jerk, how was your day?" Steve asked, giving him a pat on the shoulder.
"Uh… not great… where's y/n?" Bucky asked, running his hand through his hair. Nat, Clint and Steve all turned their head to look at each other before looking at Bucky. "In her room, catching an early night." Steve smiled, "Steve… I screwed up!" Bucky panicked.
Clint and Nat were putting away their things while Steve stayed with Bucky. "Buck… I don't know what to say." Steve lightly spoke. "Give y/n some time. But not today." Nat spoke before walking out the doors with Clint. Bucky looked back at Steve, "What's with everyone telling me not to bother her today? Wanda, Sam… even Tony has said the same thing."
"This mission was draining for her," Steve advised his friend before giving him another reassuring pat on the back. "If you really want to know, without bother y/n. Just ask Tony. I'm sure he'll tell you." Steve smiled, walking off.
Tony was focused on his tech while Bruce was working at his computer, Bucky had walked in, and without looking up, Tony spoke. "What did you do to my daughter, Barnes?" He questioned. Bucky stood there feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, Tony… I really am. The mission got to me, and I took it out on her." Tony looked up from his laptop, "have you apologised to her?" Bucky shook his head. "Good. Like I said earlier, let her cool down." He spoke before going back to working on his tech.
Bucky stood there trying to say something, "Is there something else, Barnes?"
"That's what I wanted to ask you about." this made Tony sigh. A hand running down his chin, Tony gives Bruce a look. Walking over, he patted the surface of Bucky's back, "Come… sit", he spoke, taking a seat at one of the lab tables. "By what she tells me, you don't know that she was an ex-hydra assassin, correct?" Bucky's face was confused. He was taken aback. "Well, I'm taking that as a yes."
"You know I'm surprised that you've never come across her..." Tony continued. Bucky was wide-eyed; oh, he knew he was such an idiot. "If my time calculation is right, you would've been there the same time as her." looking directly at Bucky, "You're going to have to ask her yourself about her past. Seeing as I know about last night and the fact that you love my daughter." he let out a slight smirk. "I advise that you do one hell of a job to make sure she knows you love her." He spoke. Bucky nodded, and there Tony was, telling you bits of your story.
"I've spent almost two years not knowing she was a part of Hydra? God, I'm so stupid." he sighed, "Tony, I really am sorry." Bucky looked at him. "Don't tell me that; tell her that, bud."
He thought back to all of the times you were with him, all the times you tried to tell him. So when you said you understood him, you really were telling him the truth. Although he couldn't remember the conversation between you two last night, he knew from what Wanda had shown him.
Getting into the shower, you stood underneath the running water for quite a while.
Your thoughts floating in your head, this mission had torn you to pieces, physically and mentally. It had drained you, and all you needed was to regain your health. Cleaning yourself off and washing your hair, you spent a few minutes more under the running water. Thinking about the mission and about Bucky. Bucky was on your mind; you confided in him. He was like your best friend, so you didn't know how to feel when he did this. You tried the entire night to understand his feelings, but you weren't genuinely processing it.
Bucky was walking back to the main quarters when he heard your angered scream, "BUCKY FUCKING BARNES," looking at yourself in the mirrors. Your hair was a mix of pink and green. You furiously went into your showering, grabbing the shampoo and conditioner bottle, checking the contents; it was dye.
Bucky ran up the stairs, coming out into the halls where Sam was standing just a bit away from your room. Then it clicked; Sam turned to Bucky, "I thought you took it out of her shower." Bucky mentally face-palmed himself. "I forgot! I forgot!" Nat and Wanda were coming out of their rooms; they looked at each other with an 'oh fuck look'. Bucky turned to Wanda and Nat, who looked like they were going to kill him. "I'm sorry!" He panicked.
You were a mix of furious and sad; you paced around your room with tears streaming uncontrollably down your face. You dried your hair, slipping into a comfy jumper, some tights, and your combat boots. You pulled the hood over your head, grabbing your daggers. All you saw was red. Today all you needed was a nice shower, to have some food, put your mission gear away and then head to bed. But this was it, that was the cherry on top; you let the emotions run free.
You came out of your room to see Wanda, Nat, Sam, Clint and Vision standing there. "Where's Barnes!" You yelled at them. "H-here." Bucky came out from the staircase; your eyes snapped in his direction. Sam stood in front of your path, "y/n… y/n it was me. I'm-" you were still fuming; you had used your abilities to throw him out of your path. Clint came in sight, and you did the same thing to him.
Storming towards Bucky, your dagger was in your hand. Bucky stood there, not really know what to do. You kicked his chest in with much force that he went flying onto the ground. Groaning, you stalked closers, kneeling onto his chest, and he let you. You pulled the dagger to his throat. When you aggressively took the hoodie off to reveal your face, he could see you were crying. "You think this is fucking funny, Barnes?" You yelled at him, "I have done nothing but be nice to you!" You continued yelling at him.
Nat came in from behind you, but Bucky shook his head, "It's okay, Nat, let her." He groaned as you pushed into his chest. Still, with a dagger to his throat, he looked into your eyes as your cried. "I… I get it… I get that you hate me! I get it!" You cried out in anger. Everyone didn't really know what to do or how to react. They all just stood there watching.
"Y/n… please sweet. You're hurting him." Wanda spoke, your face dropped a bit, turning to Wanda, your eyes darkened, you couldn't get it out of your head. She saw it; she saw this look once before. This just made you a hundred times more dangerous, and you knew she wouldn't get in your way.
Turning back to Barnes, he was looking at you. "A-all I wanted was to come home, have a fucking shower and go to sleep." Your anger is apparent to him. The angrier you got, your hair began to strip of pink and green, turning into a jet black colour.
"I've called Tony," Clint reassured.
Bucky lifted his hand, he tried to caress your face, but you quickly swatted it away, "y/n… I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you…" he furrowed his brows, trying to bring back the y/n he loved. Your whimpers heard from him, "what did I do! What did I do for you not to like me." You yelled into his face. "I don't hate you Y/n… I promise you, I lo-" he stopped when you pushed the dagger further into his neck. You were too angry to let him speak; you couldn't.
Steve and Tony running up the stairs, Bucky briefly looked at Steve.
A black glow emitting from your other hand, and your eyes darkened more. Tony looked at Wanda and nodded. With a flick of her hands, she sent the dagger flying from your hands. Looking at Wanda, your eyes widened. Before you could do anything else, you were pulled off Bucky by the waist. "Hey… hey honey." You looked back to see your dad, a frown set upon your face as you dropped your hands; you gave in once you saw your dad.
Steve was helping Bucky up while everyone just stood there as you cried into your dad's arms, whimpering into his chest. He brought you into a tight hug caressing your back. Bruce came from behind, sedating you with an injection. Your eyed dilated slightly as you looked at your dad with pleas before falling limp into his arms.
Everyone watched, your hair turning back into its original colour. Bucky felt guilty, nor did he know that you had any abilities. Tony looks at Bucky shaking his head in disappointment before picking you up, carrying your sleeping body back to your room. "Friday, get Pepper over here," Tony spoke. "Right away, Tony."
"So everyone saw that?" Sam asked, "Y/n has powers?"
"Yes, she does, and it's none of your business." Wanda shook her head, walking off with Nat. Bucky was catching his breath as Steve held onto him. "I fucked up, Steve… I really did." He felt so bad. Steve looked at him with sympathy. "C'mon, Bud, let's get you back to your room. We can discuss this tomorrow." He spoke. Bucky looked at his best friend, "But I need her to know that I'm sorry… Steve, I need to tell her that I love her." He was almost in tears. "And you will tomorrow. The dose Bruce gave her will last until morning." Steve said.
Bucky sighed, nodding in defeat as he made his way to his bed. "Just trying and get some sleep, Buck." Steve closed the door behind him. Bucky laid on his bed, looking up at the ceiling all night, trying to think of how to tell you he was sorry.
"They were eventually going to find out how bad she could get..." Tony spoke, running his hand down his face, "I told you and Fury not to put her on that mission, Tony." Pepper quietly yelled at him. They both turned your way, watching as you slept softly under your sheets. "She said she was okay; I trust her, Pep. Who am I if I am not to trust our own daughter's words?" Tony sighed. Pepper's arms folded, she took a seat right next to you, caressing the hair out of your face. "Is Bucky okay?" Pepper asked; Tony rolled his eyes. "He's okay; Steve said he keeps going on about apologising."
"Are you going to let him apologise?" Pepper asked Tony.
"Mh… I'm thinking about it."
"Yes, okay… I'm not one to stop metal arm from apologising." Tony replied.
"Don't call him that," Pepper spoke, giving your forehead a kiss. "Okay... sorry," he whined before doing the same, pulling your duvets up to keep you warm…
Groaning, your eyes flutter open. You didn't move; you just stared at the ceiling. You remembered everything last night, and you felt guilty for what you had done to Bucky. Laying amongst your pillows, you continued to stare at the ceiling.
It was maybe about 45 minutes later when a soft knock on your door lured you from your daze. Bucky knocking on the door didn't bother you. You just continued your stare into the void.
On the outside of the door were Bucky and Tony. Tony stared at Bucky, whispering. "Go in, Manchurian Candidate. We don't have all day." Tony spoke, opening the door, pushing Bucky in before closing the door behind him. You were awake and unbothered by his presence.
He walked towards your bed, taking a seat next to you. "I made you your favourite." He lightly smiled; you softly turned your head to look at him then to the plate of food. Bucky indeed made your favourite food, but you had no words. You didn't say anything but turned back to stare at the ceiling. Bucky placed the plate on your bedside table. Lying right next to you, he sighed.
"Y/n… I'm really sorry about last night and the night before. It wasn't my intention to hurt you. I just wasn't in the right headspace, and I took it out on you" He quietly spoke. "I'm really sorry..."
"I know there have been multiple times you've tried to tell me that you were kidnapped by Hydra… and I'm sorry it took me until now to know." He turned to you as you tensed. He was exploring your features, the ones he had grown to love since the day he first met you.
"And I-" Bucky went to speak, but you cut him off, "Do you hate me?" You quietly asked, still with your eyes to the ceiling. Bucky shook his head, "I could never hate you y/n." "Then why say it?" You asked him again. "Because I was an idiot. I was angry, but I didn't mean any of it. I was so caught up in the mission that I took it out on you." he looked down at his hands.
"It was like I lost myself when I got back to the compound. But that is no excuse for what I did to you, and for that, I will spend however long it takes to make it up to you." You turned to look at him, and he was already looking at you. Sympathy in his eyes, you knew he was genuinely sorry.
"I never meant to hurt you last night, Buck. I'm really sorry, I feel horrible." He smiled lightly at you, "You don't need to be sorry. I understand how you felt, and I'm an idiot. I never wanted to hurt you."
And like any other conversation of yours, the pair of you started fighting again.
"But you did-"
"I know I did-"
"What did I do, Bucky? Where did I go wrong?"
"Nowhere… you didn't do anything."
"But then why-" you were thinking out loud, and you didn't mean to; the words were just slipping out.
"Because I love you, okay? I love you y/n! And I am so angry with myself that waited this long to tell-"
"I love you too..." You cut in. "I know you do," you spoke again.
"You know?" Bucky questioned. You nodded, "I have been able to read your mind since the day you step foot inside this compound, Bucky. I've loved you even before you started liking me." you sent him a small smile.
He went to speak but quickly shut his mouth, taking the advice that Tony gave him about listening to you. "And when you told me you hated me, I couldn't read your mind. I couldn't tell myself that you were lying and that you said it out of the moment." A tear fell down your face. Bucky rested his hand on your cheek, lightly caressing away the tears. "I've spent months trying to tell you so you knew you could talk to me. Because I understood. I wanted you to know that we had something in common. I wanted you to know that I loved you. But you never gave me that chance."
"All the times you would turn away from me, or ignore me or even go as far as to telling the team that you didn't want to go on missions with me."
"I tried because I thought you hated me…. Until that day, when you came home, and I had made you tacos. That was the first time I heard your mind again; I had heard you say that you loved me."
Bucky smiled; he remembered that day. Thinking back to it now, he knew he never said it, but he felt it because it was true. "So you knew what I've been thinking this whole time?" He quietly asked; you nodded softly.
"So, how about now?" He asked.
You furrowed your brows and then heard it, I love you, Y/n.
A small smile paved your face, "yeah... I heard that." he leaned in, placing a soft kiss on your lips which you returned.
He thought again, I'm so sorry for everything… I can't lose you, not when I've barely had you. I'm trying my best, for you and for me.
Your eyes opened back up, you stared into his eyes. "I forgive you, Bucky. Just please don't hurt me again." You whispered.
Bucky gave you a nod, kissing your forehead. "I will never hurt you again."
With the soft blink of your eyes, you believed him. You opened up your blanket, inviting him in. He took his shoes off and slide in next to you, pulling you into his arms. You smiled as he held you close to him. "Y/n?" Bucky whispered. You looked up to him humming in response.
"If it's not too much to ask, could you show me your past?" He asked; you thought about it for a second before gently nodding. Bringing your hand up, placing your hand softly on his forehead. Cuddled up together, you confided in him once and, going back to show him what you'd been trying to tell him from the very start.
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A Heart of Gold: Part 3
Pairing: Biker!Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Warnings: talk of sexual assault, Bucky being Bucky, two idjits in love, unrequited love, smut, oral sex, a lil angst, 18+, derogatory language, foul language, MINORS DNI
A/N: I dunno what to say lol. This has been quite tough to write. But I hope it lives upto the expectations.
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My blog is 18+, MINORS DNI. You are responsible for your own media consumption. Please read the warnings before you start reading. I publish my work only on AO3, Tumblr, Wattpad, and nowhere else. I do not give permission to translate or reproduce my work anywhere else. Not beta'ed, any mistakes, grammatical or otherwise are entirely my own.
Part 1 || Part 2
The day went by quite well. You’d sold quite a bit of your goods that day, with many regulars coming through. It was always a bit weird to see Winifred’s table occupied by someone else, but you knew that she had never left. She would always be there, looking over you, keeping you safe. You couldn’t say the same for her son, though.
His name flooded your head with the memories of last night and this morning. You were conflicted. You didn’t like him, did you? He wasn’t the best husband, and so far he had shown you no amount of softness, except for this morning. It shook you to your very core.
Just then, one of your regulars popped in for a quick bite, with her cute baby. That was the best part about the bakery. You met so many people, they were like family to you. You cradled the little one, fondling her cheeks and giving her small kisses. You’d always wanted kids of your own, but it was an impossible dream.
Unbeknownst to you, there were a pair of eyes watching you.
Bucky was seated outside on his bike, hidden from the main entrance so that he could keep an eye on you without you noticing. He saw you with the child, smiling and giggling as you bounced it and kissed it ever so softly. He was smitten by the sight. But he knew it wasn’t meant to be. And it was all his fault.
Bucky was a man shaped by his circumstances, as most are. He had learned from an early age that this world doesn't accept softness, or kindness. It is hard, brutal, and unforgiving. Which is why he hated you, in the beginning. Your quiet adamance, your love for life, your sheer kindness made you everything he stood against. His mother didn't help, either. Fawning over the lass like she was her own. That angered him too. He missed his mother. He never showed it, but the woman was the very reason he was alive right now; she would get him out of fights, made sure he finished school, provided for the both of them tirelessly. The day she had asked him to get married to you was the day he would always remember. Seeing his mother like that shook him to the core. He had always thought of her demise as a thing of the future, and to see it so closely; he couldn't process it.
So he tied the knot, for her sake. The only thing that bothered him was your presence. It had been a thorn in his side. He'd always been a lone wolf, and he had convinced himself that that was the best way, or rather, the only way forward. He didn't need anyone entangled in his dirty stuff. But along you come with your shy countenance, your sweet smiles, and your sunny personality. Fuck, if it didn't annoy him in the beginning. The day it changed was the day you called him up from the hospital and yelled at him, only to hang up on him. Nobody had ever done that before; nobody had dared to.
He felt something that day, which he hadn't felt before. But he chalked it up to nerves and stress, what with his mother, the only family he'd ever fucking had being in the hospital and all.
But what excuse did he have for the days after that?
The day of the marriage. A day he swore would never come, but inevitably did. The moment he laid eyes on you, in your simple yet elegant wedding dress, with a hint of makeup and the most beautiful tulle veil he'd ever seen...fuck if it didn't stir his heart. He had to make a conscious effort to tear his eyes away from you. This marriage was never going to work. He would make sure of it. His resolution nearly broke after you first kiss as man and wife. Your soft lips against his; he felt like his knees would buckle under the intensity of emotions. He pulled back in an instant, afraid of what he might uncover.
He convinced himself that he wouldn't let anything happen, which translated into him unleashing his anger. But what was surprising was how you took it all with a smile, not faltering. He knew it was wrong. He knew it was douchey of him; and yet he did it. Why? He didn't know. Maybe it was the fact that you were always happy, a ray of sunshine even when the universe was shitty to you. But he knew, in his heart of hearts, it was because he was jealous of you. Jealous of your relationship with his mom. How much you loved her, and she loved you and how well the both of you were together. He couldn't say for sure, but he knew that somewhere, maybe Winifred liked you better. But he could see you tiring. Of life, of this relationship, of everything.
Which is why that night came as a surprise to him. You helped him, nursed him without any complaint. It flabbergasted him. All the while he thought he could break you and here you were, standing up and helping him, no less. He couldn't fight it, anymore. He couldn't fight you.
He'd met a lot of tough men in his career, who he thought could never be defeated. But with a look at you, he deduced that they would bow down in front of you.
It didn't help that Rumlow and his goons were after you. The one thing in his life he now looked forward to. He shuddered, remembering the recording his contact had sent him.
"What's with his new bitch? Does he love her?"
"From what we know, she seems to be quite the little housewife. Has a job at the bakery, volunteers at a hospital, and takes care of that shit-stain she calls her husband."
"Quite the pretty little thing. Must be wild in the sack."
They all laughed at that.
"Don't worry, you'll all get your turn with her. We'll turn her into a slut, and make that fucker watch."
Bucky could've killed them with his bare hands at that moment. He didn't know what to name his relationship with you, but whatever it was, it made him livid to think of them laying even an eye on you, let alone a finger.
He would have to get you someplace safe. Someplace away from all his mess. Because if something happened to you, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself. Ever.
You nearly stumbled as you saw him outside the bakery. Had he come to pick you up as well? He was sitting there, leaning on his motorbike, playing with his lighter. Your stomach did a flip, for no apparent reason. Why were you suddenly so conscious? Taking a deep breath, you walked towards him, a slight tremble in each step.
"Ready to go home?"
Wordlessly, he handed you the helmet, which you wore without any questions. What could you say? Hey Bucky, why are you not being an asshole to me?
You sat behind him, putting a hand on his shoulder tentatively. He took your right hand and wound it around his torso, his grip tight.
"Hold on. I don't want you to fall off and break your neck."
He felt warm. Too warm, in fact. Scalding hot. Your core tightened when he revved the motors; he really knew his way around the steel horse. The engine purred to life and you were swept away, the wind against your body, threatening you to feel something: something you were not willing to visit.
You reached home way too quickly for your liking. Getting off, you handed him back his helmet, turning towards the door when you felt his hand grasp your wrist. You turned around, only to see his contrite expression.
"Will you have coffee with me?"
You blinked. No words came out of your mouth; honestly, it was a wonder he hadn't taken you to the ER, you hadn't said a word since he picked you up. Realising that the silence was borderline awkward, you cleared your throat and squeaked an "okay." before scurrying inside.
You dropped your purse on your bed, head in your hands. You were confused as hell. Here you were, worried that Bucky would lash out and be angry at what happened yesterday, but he was actually being nice. He had breakfast with you, dropped and picked you up. Like a real husband in love with his wife. Oh, and he'd called you Mrs. Barnes. MRS. BARNES. He acknowledged his marital status for the first time, without grimacing or cringing.
Did he suffer from a concussion? He was pretty banged up from the fight. Yes, that had to be it. You walked shakily to the bathroom, splashing your face with cold water.
Time to face the predator.
He had set the table; beatifully, that too. There was a french press with steaming coffee, on a plate were biscotti, plated neatly. And two slices of your famous strawberry shortcake.
And him? He looked significantly better than the day before. His wound was healing, and he'd cleaned up his beard a little. He looked...presentable. And kinder, more softer.
"Take a seat." His soft voice broke you out of your reverie.
You nodded, moving to sit opposite him. He took a seat, pouring the coffee in two beautiful teacups. Idly, you recognised them as Winifred's wedding china. She had told you so much about her wedding day, and Bucky's late father. It almost felt like you knew him. From what she described, Bucky was a lot like him, in many ways. Which is why she was always worried about Bucky, and the path he went on and continued to be on; the self destruction scaring her.
"Don't you like coffee?" He asked, warily.
"Oh..it's...really nice...thank you.." you trailed off, awkwardly.
A few moments passed, the sipping of coffee being the only noise breaking the silence. You threw a glance or two at him, trying to gauge his reaction. He seemed impassive, trying his best not to make eye contact with you. Jesus. Could it get any more awkward?
"So..umm..how was your day?" He asked, his words a little jumbled.
"It...was good...thanks..." You mumbled. Perhaps he felt bad about yesterday. Perhaps he thought it was a mistake and was going to tell you that it wouldn't happen again. Your heart sank. That was probably it.
You finished your coffee in silence, exchanging small talk. You asked him about his day, to which he gave no more than a two word answer. It seemed as though he was uncomfortable with the mere concept of sharing his thoughts.
But it was bugging you. Why was he being nice? Why was he insisting on being a caring husband? Why did he call you by your marital name? These questions were threatening to drown you.
"Is everything ok?" You asked timidly, anticipating him to yell at you.
His brow furrowed as he turned to face you. "Yes. Why do you ask?"
Now how would you answer that? I dunno, you seem weirder than normal?
"Oh, nothing..I just..."
He narrowed his eyes, cocking his head just a bit.
"Is this question because of what happened yesterday?"
"U-Uhm, I mean, I don't...I'm not..."
He made his way towards you, a predator stalking his prey. You tried moving behind but your feet were firmly planted to the ground, for some reason. You grasped the counter behind you for support, your legs suddenly unable to receive any commands from your brain.
Caging you in his arms, he closed the distance between the both of you, leaning towards your ear.
"What happened yesterday, should've happened way before. And now that it has, I want more." He whispered, his hot breath caressing you, his voice silky around you, encompassing you like a blanket.
You had never noticed how raspy his voice was until now. Your systems overriden, you could only focus on his proximity; his body pressing deliciously against yours, how close he was and yet, there was distance of sorts. It was maddening, yet tantalizing. You remembered yesterday, how he'd felt under your fingers, how he'd driven you mad with just one kiss.
His lips were close to yours, almost too close.
“Why?” you murmured.
That seemed to break him out of his trance. He pulled back, his facial features hardening with each passing moment. You cursed yourself, not wanting to sour his bad mood.
“I..just meant that...after all that has happened-”
“I know, I know. I understood what you meant.” He moved away, taking a few steps back.
“I think I’m just gonna...go work on my bike for a bit... You should...too..” he trailed off, walking out of the house, his strides fast and heavy.
You jumped at the sound of the door closing, not realising how out of it you were. You just had to open your big mouth, didn’t you? Back to square one, it would seem.
Needless to say, dinner that night was a pretty silent affair.
You both settled in some sort of a twisted routine. There would be very less words spoken, both of you speaking only when necessary. But there were moments. Moments that made your heart jump. Like when he insisted on dropping and picking you up. When he made you both coffee in the evenings, but only with the strawberry shortcake you made. When he called you Mrs. Barnes. You could feel yourself heat up everytime he called you that. You had not forgotten the evening he’d almost kissed you, but then again, what was there to say? He wasn’t going to tell you, and you were afraid that he would go back to his angry, moody self and close himself off from you.
This particular evening, he seemed to be in a chatty mood. Which wasn’t much, considering it was Bucky; but still, it was something. It was a rainy evening, the skies pouring down and overcast, the piping hot coffee a necessity to enjoy the weather.
You both sat at the dining table, watching it pelt down on the window. It had a calming effect, and strangely, so did Bucky’s presence.
“What did you talk about with my mother?” he asked, out of the blue.
“What did you talk about? She seemed to be very close to you, and I’m sure she liked you better than she did me. Especially towards the end.” His eyes met yours as he said the last words, the sadness palpable.
“That’s not true-”
“It is. I know I haven’t been the best son but I do love her and I miss her. A lot. Please just..just tell me.” his sob caught in his throat as he ended his sentence, averting your gaze. It broke your heart to see him like this.
“Well, she and I talked about a lot of things. Things I wish I could talk to my mom about. She made me feel like I still had someone in this world, some type of family, in a way. She talked about you quite a lot. Said that she wished she was around you more, when you were growing up. She loved you dearly, even as she was on her deathbed. The only reason she asked me if I would marry you was so that you had somebody look out for you, like a family....” you trailed off, uncertain of what you were implying. You weren’t really his family, were you? You were just..there. Existing in his sphere of reference.
He looked over at you, a sheen of tears visible on his eyes, as he struggled to control his emotions. You could tell that he'd repressed any thoughts of his late mother for the longest time. The fact that he was willing to talk about it, made you feel a little warm inside. He was opening up.
"For what, being a better child to my mother than I ever could be?"
"That's not true. She loved you. A lot. A mother's love never dwindles for her children. She always wanted the best for you. And me." You added after a beat, her memories flooding your mind, your eyes misty. She would've been sad to see how your relationship with Bucky had started. Even now, it was very fragile. One wrong move from you, and it would crumble. You couldn't bear that. His ire was unbearable.
He stared out of the window, his tears running amok. He only stopped to wipe his tears. You wished you could reach over and give him a hug, or at the very least, a comforting pat or two. Reaching over, you placed your hand on his shoulder, hesitant in your actions. He turned his head towards you slowly, his face unable to hide his surprise. Looking at your hand, he inched forward, ever so slightly, the distance between the two of you diminishing as he shifted closer to you.
You weren't sure what was happening. Hell, you'd been sure he would have yelled at you for trying to get close. But you saw him; vulnerable, scared, sad. And it tore your heart. Tentatively moving closer, you wound your arms around his waist, wrapping your arms around him. Softly at first.
You could tell that he was shocked. His entire body went stiff, slight tremors racking his form. Finally, after a few moments had passed, he leaned into the hug more, wrapping his arms around you gently. He rested his chin on your shoulder, letting out a huge breath.
You closed your eyes, arms tightening around him. You wanted to show solidarity, to show him that he wasn't alone, no matter how badly he behaved. You couldn't understand why, but you wanted him to know that you were there for him, through it all.
Bucky was speechless; but a good kind of speechless. He hadn't expected you to do that. Hell, he hadn't expected to like the hug as much as he was. It felt right, like it was meant to be. He could feel his worry dissipate, his sorrow withering away, bit by bit. All he felt was a sense of calm; of peace. You were his anchor.
Pulling away, he looked into your eyes, boring deeply into yours. His intensity almost made you look away, but you couldn't tear your eyes away from him. You looked into his blue eyes, a maelstrom of emotions swirling in them, getting darker by the second.
He leaned forward, his lips softly grazing yours. He was silently waiting for your permission. You leaned forward, your lips firm against his. You wanted to feel him. You needed this.
Your lips melded together; soft at the first instance, but insistent and intrepid the next. His tongue met yours as you granted him entry, as tongues met one another.
The very feeling of him against you made you feel like you were on Cloud 9. You didn't know how or when this happened. All you knew was that it was a force of nature, not to be taken lightly. His arms around you, his fingers delicately tracing patterns along your back, your neck, was the only thing keeping you grounded; in the moment.
You placed your palm on his cheek, his stubble lightly tickling you, and yet, the warmth inviting. He moaned into the kiss, leaning into the small act of affection, deepening the kiss even more. Time seemed to stand still, and the two of you in your own space.
You broke apart, only when the need for air surpassed your need for each other. Panting, you caught your breath, lost in each others gaze, drowning in what seemed to be a varied mix of emotions. Not dropping eye contact, Bucky held your hand, pulling you up with him. Lightly tugging, he led you to his room in step with one another.
Standing in his room, the jitters came back. Your mind was on autopilot uptil now, but your brain started thinking again; actually, overthinking. You weren't sure of what would ensue, but whatever did happen, you hoped it would be good for him, and you.
Closing the drapes, he made his way to you, holding your chin between his fingers. He kissed you languidly, his arms tightening around your waist, pulling you closer to him. You felt him through his jeans, hard and ready against your hip.
You gasped, eyes as wide as saucers. This was getting too real, too fast. Bucky saw your expression and pulled back, concern etched on his face.
"What's the matter? Is everything ok?"
You tried to calm your wild heart, running a palm over your face as you tried to gather your thoughts.
"I...I have to be honest with you. I haven't...been... with anyone else before...and I don't have much experience..with men. I just don't..." you tapered off, sighing in exasperation.
He looked at you, and after a beat, smiled. Gathering you in his arms, he rested his head on yours, leaving a small kiss on your head.
"We don't have to do anything right now. We can take it at the pace you want. I'm not going to pressure you for anything. And about you being inexperienced? That simply doesn't matter to me. Whatever happens or will happen between us, it'll be at your pace."
Looking at you, a wicked smile adorned his face. "But trust me, sugar, it will happen. Soon."
You bashfully looked down, unable to meet his gaze. He left a small peck on your lips, followed by a few featherlight kisses all over your face. You sighed, wrapping your arms around him; still in awe of the events of this evening. Was this still the Bucky you married? Because if so, you hoped he stayed like this for a long time.
"Stay with me tonight. Here, in our bedroom, as a married couple ought to stay."
You simply nodded. There was no where else you'd want to be.
You stared at his bed, the nerves slowly making themselves known again.
"Which side of the bed do you normally sleep on?"
Your question seemed to catch him off-guard, a chuckle escaping his lips as he registered your question.
"You can pick whichever side you want. I'm not fussy."
You decide to sleep on the left. You were scared of sleeping next to the window, and yes, scared of ghosts or any other extraterrestrial entity. Changing into your dressing gown, you finished doing your nightly routine, making your way to bed.
Exiting the bathroom, you saw Bucky sitting on the bed, staring at you, reverence in his eyes. You wondered what had happened suddenly.
You slowly made your way to your side, pulling up the covers. He had something on his mind, and you weren't sure what it was.
"Do you trust me?"
"...Yes.." you murmured, wired in anticipation. Where was he going with this?
"Good. You know that I won't hurt you, right?"
"Is it ok if I try something? If you don't like it we can stop immediately. But I just want to try something. Is that ok?"
You nodded, shyly. You had a small inkling of where this was headed. Best get it out of the way before your brain starts overthinking and ruining things again, you scoffed to yourself.
Lowering himself over you, he placed his lips on yours, languorously. You melted into the kiss, winding your arms around his neck. You had a feeling you would never tire of these.
Moving down, he left soft kisses along the column of your neck, his tongue laving your pulse point. Your breathing faltered, as you moved your head to the side, giving him easier access. Pulling the straps of your nightgown down, he gazed at your breasts, not peeling his eyes away. Not being used to anyone seeing you like this, you moved to cover them but were stopped by his hands.
"Don't. You have a beautiful body, sweetheart. Please let me see you. Please." His words of plea tugged at you, as you dropped your arms to the side, unsure of what his next moves were going to be. He dropped his head to one swollen peak, swirling his tongue around it as he gently took one between his teeth and tugged. You groaned out loud, your hands making their way into his hair.
Looking up at you, he grinned, a twinkle in his eyes. "I take it you liked that."
You nodded, shyly as he turned his attention to the other nub, giving it the same treatment. You gulped, the sensations going straight to your core; everything down south tightening with each wicked lick of his mouth. Whatever he was doing, you didn't want him to stop.
He slowly peeled off your nightgown, throwing it to the side. Dressed in only your panties, you felt exposed and vulnerable. Bucky seemed to catch onto that, as he pulled off his tee shirt as well, displaying his well defined torso, albeit with a few cuts and bruises here and there. You ran your fingers over his scars, the divots on his chest and torso. He really was a beautiful man.
Lowering you to the bed again, he left soft kisses along the soft swell of your stomach, your breasts, your neck. He moved down further, reaching your core. This, you weren't as sure about. What if he didn't like what he saw? What if you didn't taste good? Your friends had always talked about their.. experiences with men and the number one deal-breaker was always taste. Which you didn't really understand.
"Sweetheart, relax. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. Tell me to stop and I will. I promise."
"N..no. I'm okay. Please, don't stop."
"Are you sure?"
"Y..yes. It's just, i'm a little conscious, that's..all.." you murmured.
Your eyes plastered to the ceiling, you couldn't really see Bucky. You wondered what had happened, when you felt him slowly lower your panties down your legs, his hot breath caressing your most intimate part.
Slowly parting your legs, he left soft kisses on your inner thighs, till he reached the apex. You held your breath as you felt his lips on you, slowly leaving kisses along the length of you. You were wetter than you had ever been; you were sure of it.
He didn't give you time to dwell as he left a long stripe along the length of your lips, causing your legs to lurch around him. He chuckled, holding down your thighs, stopping you from closing your legs.
"Hang on, sweetheart. I'm gonna make you feel good, I promise."
And with that, he began his amorous assault, his lips insistent against your lower ones. He parted your folds, leaving kitten licks along them. He reached your swollen nub, hidden from his eyes, as the tip of his tongue grazed it lightly. You gasped, unable to contain your arousal. He grinned, before going to town as he sucked on the engorged flesh, for all he was worth. You wailed, flailing about as your hands tangled into his hair for support, tugging on it ever so slightly.
He moaned, his tongue slipping into your channel. "Do that again, sweetheart." He panted, his voice thick with emotion.
You tentatively tugged on his hair again, this time with a bit more force. He groaned, resuming his ministrations. You were lost, your body a mere afterthought at this point, your attention concentrated at one point. He gently ran his finger across your folds, aiding his tongue which he laid flat along it. You tried closing your legs, to stop this flurry of emotions he was invoking.
"Bucky...please...please..." You gasped, moaning as you felt yourself nearing your peak. You wrenched your eyes shut, trying to absorb all the pleasure.
"Don't worry sweetheart...gonna take good care of you...just..let..go." he muttered through gritted teeth, doubling his efforts.
You screamed, your core contracting around nothing as you reached your peak, rather explosively. Bucky didn't stop his actions through your climax, his tongue moving across your folds, licking up all you had to offer.
You panted, trying to gain your bearings again. That was...something beyond your imagination. Never had you thought that such pleasure could be felt, ever. Idly, you wondered if it was the same for Bucky as well.
Looking up, you saw him looking at your dazed expression, a smile on his face. He bent down and kissed you, your taste still on his tongue. It wasn't half bad, you thought.
"Was that good?"
"It was..amazing. Thank you." You murmured, shyly.
"Aren't we...I mean, don't you...have to.."
He laughed a little at that, laying on his side next to you.
"As much as I appreciate the thought, and as much as I want to, we should stop for now. I don't want to overwhelm you. Besides, we have a lifetime with each other to do..other things." He smirked, intent clear in his eyes.
You smiled, running your palm over his cheek. Making his way under the sheets, he pulled you to him, spooning you, his hand circling your waist.
"Goodnight, Mrs. Barnes."
"Goodnight." You whispered, drifting off in his arms. For the first time in so long, you had a dreamless sleep.
Waking up in the morning, you felt warmth emanating from beside you. You couldn't place it at first, but as you slowly woke up, you realised it was Bucky. His arm was draped around you, enveloping you in a bear hug.
You slowly moved out of his embrace, careful not to wake him, as you gathered your clothes and headed to the bathroom, to freshen up.
The shower felt heavenly, warm water calming your nerves and soothing you. It gave you time to think, to reflect on all that had happened. Bucky went down on you, and you liked it. He didn't care about his pleasure, instead focused on yours. It made you feel all fuzzy inside.
This was all so new, and yet, it felt right. Like it was meant to happen, sooner or later. You heard some noise from outside, which meant that he was awake. You wrapped up your shower, butterflies in your stomach as you mentally prepared yourself to face him.
He wasn't on the bed, as you'd thought he'd be. Shrugging, you went to the kitchen to get breakfast ready. You didn't want to be late for work, and you didn't know if he'd be willing to drop you again.
You were lost in your own world, engrossed as you were beating the eggs for his omelette. You didn't hear him till he placed a hand on your shoulder, breaking you out of your thoughts.
"Sweetheart, we have to go."
"Go...? Go where? Is everything okay?"
"I'll explain everything. But for now we have to leave. Is that ok?"
You hesitated. What was he hiding?
"I promise, I'll tell you everything, whatever you want to know. But we have to move, quickly. Steve and Sam are bringing their truck. Pack a few things and your important documents and such. We'll leave soon."
You nodded, hurrying to your room, your mind whirring. What had happened? Why was he so shaken up?
Whatever it was, you hoped he didn't get hurt in the midst of it. Hauling your bags through the house, you saw him ready in his biking gear.
"You're not coming in the car?"
"No. Our stuff will take up some space, and I need to check up on a few things. I'll be right behind you I swear."
You were about to oppose him and tell him that you would come with, but he held up his hand, stopping you.
"I swear, I'll be with you the whole time. I just...need to sort out some stuff, that's all. Till then, Steve and Sam will keep you safe. Do as they say, and stay with them at all times, till I come back."
He pulled you close, dropping a kiss on your forehead. "We'll be together soon enough, love. Don't fret."
You wished you wouldn't, but you did. Because if something happened to him, you weren't sure what you might do.
338 notes · View notes
summary: When a mission with Sam goes wrong, and you're left bruised and battered, Bucky is there to piece you back together.
pairing: bucky barnes x reader
word count: ~4.3k
warnings: blood and injuries, recovery themes, medical procedures, sam wilson being the best, angst, fluff, happy ending
Bucky stood impatiently in the hangar of the compound, his arms hanging down by his sides, his fingers twitching anxiously. Steve and Natasha stood on either side of him, tracking the motion of the quinjet. Sam had sent an unstable transmission through his ear piece, and Steve was barely able to understand it. The mission you and Sam had been sent had been completed, gaining intel about an illegal weapons deal from a missionary group over the border of Canada.
The transmission that was sent was full of static, and Steve couldn’t understand what Sam was saying. The only thing he could read out was the pure panic in his voice, which had worried Bucky to no end. Millions of thoughts swirled in his head, unable to focus on anything. The three had been watching a movie when the transmissions came in, and as soon as he heard the franticness of Sam’s voice, he was unable to focus on anything else.
“How’re they looking?” Natasha asked, peering over Steve’s shoulder to look at the tablet in his hands. She looked down at the screen, watching the ragged movements of the aircraft.
“They’re approaching, but it might be a rough landing for them.” Bucky’s head whipped towards Steve, his eyes wide and frantic. The sound of the quinjet’s engines filled the air, and Bucky looked up, seeing one of the aircraft’s engines damaged, almost completely blown out. Parts of the quinjet fell onto the landing pad with a loud clunk echoing throughout the hangar, pieces rolling around.
The jet shook side to side as it hovered over the landing pad, and just as it was about to touch the ground, it suddenly jerked off to the side. Steve placed the tablet on a nearby table, watching as the quinjet crashed off to the side. A small explosion erupted at the damaged engine, gasoline dripping onto the white floor. Steve shouted for medical and fire, and Bucky raced forward, Natasha following him. The ramp extended out, and smoke filtered out.
Faint staggering steps were heard as a team of SHIELD agents ran up with fire extinguishers, and Dr. Cho ran up with a gurney, her lab coat flowing as she ran. Then, out of the smoke, Sam staggered out of the damaged quinjet, his face and arms all bloodied and bruised. In his arms laid you, head lolling against his shoulder, suit tainted with blood, face painted with bruises. You were barely conscious, blood pooling out of the cuts on your face and your nose. He wore a solemn look on his face and his eyes met Bucky’s.
Sam stepped forward, placing your limp body on the gurney, your head lolling aimlessly against the soft pillow. Dr. Cho shouted, grabbed the edge of the stretcher, pushing it down the hallway, with the help of her assistants. Sam winced, groaning loudly as he put pressure on his ankle. Steve quickly went to his side, and Bucky seemed to be frozen in place as he watched Dr. Cho raced you to the medical bay.
“What happened? We got the information about the weapons, what happened to Y/n?” Natasha asked, worry etching into her features, and she casted a side glance to Bucky, who kept his gaze on the bay doors.
“I-I don’t know. We were in the control room of the warehouse, there was no one in sight. Y/n downloaded all the files and sent them to Stark, and once we were on our way out, they just came out of nowhere. Ten or fifteen of them, armed with knives and clubs, I tried to usher them away, but they got the hold on her… she tried to take them on, but there were more of them than us.” Sam said, his eyes dropping to the floor. Natasha ushered a medic to their position, and a woman in a lab coat came with a medical kit, tending to Sam’s injuries.
“I was able to launch Redwing out and take out at least seven of them, she was fighting with everything she had. Once I was able to daze them, I grabbed her and ran to the jet and tried flying out of there, but they shot a missile at us. It didn’t do a great deal of damage, but it made the flight rough. I didn’t realize how many injuries she sustained. I-I couldn't… I couldn’t be by her side, and now she’s-”his gaze focused onto the scattered parts of the quinjet that laid on the floor, his hands shaking.
“Hey, this is Y/n we’re talking about. The same woman who smiled when her nose got broken on that mission in Bonn, remember? She’ll come out of this with a smile on her face, you know that.” Natasha said, and Bucky swallowed thickly. “Dr. Cho is with her, you know, the best we have. You did everything you could.” she said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Steve sighed, crossing his arms as he looked over to his best friend, and he walked over to him. He placed a hand on Bucky’s shoulder. “It’s not his fault,” Steve said in a low voice. Bucky nodded, swallowing and fidgeting with his hands.
“No, I know, I know. I don’t blame him. It’s just… she looked so lifeless when he carried her. And I don’t know-”
“Stop.” Steve said, shooting him a pointed glare. “She will be fine, you know that. She’s survived much worse.” Bucky frantically nodded his head, repeating it in his head like a mantra.
She’ll be fine. She’ll be fine. She will be fine.
Sam winced as the medic pressed an antiseptic wipe against a cut of his face, clenching and unclenching his fist. He caught Steve in the corner of his eye, patting Bucky on the shoulder before the soldier walked down the hall, to the medical bay. Sam took a deep breath in as Steve walked over to him and Natasha.
“He’s pissed at me, isn’t he?” Sam breathed out, looking over at Steve.
“No,” Sam looked skeptical at him. “You know him. He’s overthinking.” The medic rubbed ointment on blisters, cleaned and bandaged open cuts, wrapped his bruised and swollen wrist in a wrap, and spread ointment over purple bruises.
“Take it easy for a few days. No strenuous work or training until the swelling goes down in your wrist.” she said, packing up her medical supplies. “Helen will hopefully be out in a few hours on an update on Agent Y/l/n.” she said with a soft smile, before leaving the hangar. Sam nodded, wincing as he flexed his fingers. Natasha and Steve stood by each other as he stood up, taking one last look at the destroyed quinjet.
The lobby of the medical bay was eerily quiet, save from heavy breathing of Bucky. Sam trudged in, his eyes sagging with exhaustion. Steve and Natasha followed, taking a seat cross from Bucky while Sam sat next to him.
“Thank you for protecting her.” Bucky said, looking over at Sam. The man nodded, gently patting his shoulder. “I… I don’t blame you, by the way.”
Sam smiled, nudging him playfully. “I know, man. You know, she was my friend before she met you, I wasn’t going to leave her. We don’t leave our own behind. Especially not someone like her.”
Bucky smiled and nodded, feeling somewhat better that Sam had been looking out for you.
“How long has it been? Steve asked, breaking the silence that lasted only a few moments.
Bucky glanced at the clock on the wall, biting his lip nervously. “About two hours.” he said, voice thick with emotion. Steve nodded, and Natasha sighed, leaning her head against Steve’s shoulder.
Waiting seemed like an eternity, the only sounds being the ticking from the clock and Bucky’s constant sighing. Bucky anxiously scratched at his fingers, drawing red, irritated lines along the sides of his fingers. Steve had placed his cheek on the top of Natasha’s head, taking her hand in his, rubbing his thumb over her knuckles.
After what felt like hours, Dr. Cho stepped out of the room, her hair that was one in a neat ponytail, now messy with strands poking out. Bucky sat up straight, nudging Sam, who had dozed off.
“How is she?” Sam asked, and Steve and Natasha perked up, the lines of Steve’s jacket embedded on her cheek. She sat up, running her hands through her messy hair, looking over at Dr. Cho.
“She sustained quite a few serious injuries, she had a stab wound in her shoulder which has been stitched and cleaned up, a severe concussion, three cracked ribs, a fractured wrist and a strain in her ankle, but that should be healed in a few days. She has quite a few injuries that I would like to monitor over the next few days, like her wrist and ribs, and the concussion.” Dr. Cho said, sighing as she read over the medical chart in her hand.
“There is a possibility of amnesia with the concussion, but when she was brought in, she was conscious, and knew of her surroundings. But it’s still a possibility. After the cast comes off on her wrist, I would recommend physical therapy. Other than that, I would say she’ll be okay.” Dr. Cho finished, and Bucky felt somewhat relieved.
“How long do you think she’ll be in the medical bay for?” Natasha asked.
“I would like to keep her here for the next few days, monitoring her head and ribs, but if everything looks good, she should be good to be in her own room. Although I am putting her on bed rest for the next two weeks, and after that I would highly recommend that she stays away from training and doing missions.” she said, looking over to Bucky. “You can see her if you’d like. We just put her under sedation, so she’ll be asleep for the rest of the night.” she said softly, and nodded at them before retreating down the hall.
Bucky stood up and made his way into the room, holding his breath when he laid eyes on you. You seemed fragile, laying in a light gown with a thin blanket splayed over your bruised form. Bruises and cuts littered your face and arms, and he could see the braced wrap that covered your left arm, and the white bandage that covered your shoulder.
Bucky sat down in the chair next to your bed, and gathered your uninjured hand in his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. He held on tightly to your hand while you slept, leaning his body over the edge of the bed. He laid his forehead on your arm, and he closed his eyes.
He didn’t remember drifting off into a dreamless sleep, but the feeling on fingers shakily combing through his hair roused him from his sleep. Bucky lifted his head up groggily, meeting your tired eyes. “Hi, sleepyhead.”
“Hi,” he said, before frowning. He blinked his eyes rapidly, clearing the sleepiness from his eyes. You gave him a tired smile, and he shot up faster than you’d ever seen, hovering over you, unsure of what to do. “You’re awake! Oh, god you’re awake… do you need anything? Does anything hurt? Do I need to get Dr. Cho? Oh, I should tell Sam-”
“N-no, I’m fine.” you whispered, closing your eyes. “Just calm down a bit, okay?” you giggled, grabbing his hand with your uninjured hand. You tugged, and Bucky sat down, bringing the chair as close as he could to your bedside.
“How are you feeling?” Bucky asked, and you turned your head to look at him.
“A little sore, but okay. My head hurts a little.” Bucky nodded, holding your hand in his, squeezing lightly. The door squeaked open, and Bucky turned around to see Sam poke his head in, a small stuffed falcon in his hand.
“Looks like you have a visitor.” Bucky whispered, and Sam stepped into the room, slowly making his way over to the other side of your bed. You smiled up at him as he took a seat next to your bed.
“Hi, Sammy.” you said, and Sam smiled, carefully taking your injured hand in his. You saw his eyes fill with tears, and he struggled to say something. You heard Bucky get up and walk to the doorway, giving the two of you privacy.
“Hey, missy.” he said in a tight voice. He cleared his throat, bringing the plush animal up off his lap, onto the bed. You smiled at him, gently encasing his hand with yours. “I’m so sorry-”
“Sammy, stop.” you said, urging him to look up at you. “It’s not your fault, okay? I don’t blame you, so please don’t put this on yourself. You were the one that grabbed me so we could escape. You triaged me the best you could, and survived because of you.” he looked at you, and you squeezed his hand gently. “It’s not your fault, okay?”
Sam nodded, leaning forward, gingerly hugging your frail body. You hugged him back, pressing your face into his shoulder. He held the back of your head and kissed your temple before pulling back. He wiped his face and held the stuffed falcon in his hands.
“For me?” you asked with a smile, and Sam laughed lightly, nodding his head. He handed you the stuffed toy, and you held it gingerly in your hand, fingers dancing over the brown wings and black beaded eyes.
“I’m happy that you’re okay, missy. I don’t know what I would do if I lost you.” Sam said, taking your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.
You hugged the stuffed toy close to your chest, and you urged Sam to come closer. With all the strength you had, you leaned forward and tenderly kissed him on the cheek. You smiled at him and looked at your falcon again, toying with the fluffy feathers.
“I’m glad you’re okay too, Sammy. But if I catch you blaming yourself, I will be very upset with you, you hear me? Very upset.” you said, looking at him with the best stern face you could muster. But a tired smile broke through your faux stern expression.
“Yes, ma’am.” Sam saluted you. He could see exhaustion evident in your eyes, and he leaned forward, tucking the blanket around you. “Get some rest.” he whispered, and you nodded, relaxing into the pillows as sleep overtook you.
As Dr. Cho promised, you were released from the medical bay within the next few days, with two bottles of pain medication and plenty of wraps and braces to change. She had offered to place your braced wrist in a sling, noticing how you held it close to your chest, and you obliged. Bucky walked next to you, one hand on your elbow, the other on the small of your back, gently guiding you to the residential wing of the compound.
“You okay?” Bucky asked, noticing how you were biting your lip. You nodded, stretching out your sore ankle. You took a deep breath in, leaning into his side to take the sudden pressure off your ankle. “You know, I could always just carry you.” You chuckled, leaning your cheek onto his shoulder.
“I know, but my legs are so stiff from laying down all week. It’s just a little sore.” you said, continuing your trek from the medbay to your shared room. You knew doing the little things in your daily routine were going to be a little rough at first, but you could get through it. After all, there were worse injuries you had come out of.
Bucky opened the door and held it open, and you walked through, making a line for the comfy bed you craved, rather than the lumpy medical bed you had been lying on all week. Sitting down on the edge of the bed, you exhaled deeply, closing your eyes.
Bucky closed the curtains, seeing as it was almost completely dark outside, and he quickly moved around the room, turning the lights on. He gently closed the door, kicking off his shoes before making his way back to you, kneeling down to your eye level. You opened your eyes, softly smiling at you, and Bucky leaned forward, kissing your forehead.
“Why don’t I get you into a bath and some fresh clothes, and then settle down for the night, hm? That sound okay?” Bucky asked gently, tucking your hair behind your ear. You nodded, allowing him to help you up, guiding you to the bathroom. He sat you on the closed toilet seat and leaned over the edge of the tub, turning on the warm water.
Turning back around to you, Bucky leaned down and carefully removed your clothes, taking the sling off your arm with care, and placing the cover that Dr. Cho had given you hours ago. You frowned, turning your hand around.
“It looks like a clear oven mitt.” you said, and Bucky chuckled, sealing it at your elbow. He turned off the water and grabbed your hand, helping you ease into the tub. You closed your eyes, feeling the warm water soothe your bruised body.
“It’s not too hot, is it?” Bucky asked, and you shook your head.
“It feels nice.” you said. Bucky smiled and sat down on the edge of the tub. He leaned over and grabbed a cup, dipping it into the water. He watched it fill to the brim, and shielded your eyes with his hand, pouring the water down your hair. He poured a quarter-sized amount of shampoo in his palm and rubbed his fingers together, massaging your scalp. Your eyes fluttered shut, Bucky’s fingers working magic against your head.
Bucky rinsed out your hair, clearing out the suds of shampoo with water, and he repeated the same motion again, this time with your conditioner. While he let the conditioner sit in your hair, he grabbed the loofa from the wall and gently picked up your arm, tenderly moving the sponge up and down your arm.
You watched him, smiling when you saw the concentration in his furrowed brows. Hegently dipped your arm back into the water, and cupped the backs of your knees, washing them as well. “You treat me too good.” you whispered.
Bucky looked up at you, and he shook his head. “You deserve every bit of this treatment, sweetheart. All the time.” Bucky smiled at you as he rinsed out your hair. He unplugged the tub, and slowly the water drained out of the tub. He grabbed a towel and helped you up, and he wrapped you in the towel, leading you out of the bathroom.
Rummaging through drawers, he pulled out an old t-shirt that he had seen you wear countless times, and a soft pair of shorts, helping you into them. Bucky carefully pulled off the cover of your brace and placed it on the desk, grabbing one of the bottles of pain medication Dr. Cho had prescribed you.
Bucky placed the small white pill in the palm of your hand, and as you threw it back in your mouth, he brought a glass of water to your lips. Squeezing your eyes shut, you swallowed the pill back with water, wincing at the feel of the medicine against your tongue.
“Let’s get you to bed, yeah?” Bucky murmured, and you nodded. You felt an ounce of guilt pass through you, and you looked up at him. Bucky caught your eyes as you laid down back against the soft sheets. “You okay, baby?”
You nodded. “You don’t have to do any of this for me,” Bucky sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning down to place a soft kiss on your lips.
“Yes, I do. I love doing this, okay? You’re not burdening me, or taking up any of my time. I would rather wait months and see you get better than not help you, and watch you suffer silently. I love you, honey. And I’m willing to wait however long it takes for you to get better. I’m with you through it all. Okay?” Bucky said, tenderly cradling your face in his hands.
“Okay,” you whispered, and you felt the drowsiness of the pain medication start to kick in. Bucky draped the sheets over your body, and he quickly made his way across to his side, turning off the lights before crawling in the bed with you.
“We’re gonna get through this together, okay? Together.” Bucky whispered as he pulled you into his arms, so that your head was resting on top of his chest. You nodded before closing your eyes, letting yourself fall into a dreamless sleep.
Over the course of the next couple of weeks, Bucky stayed true to his word, staying by your side through everything.
When you would wake up, tears streaming down your face from the sudden pain in your arm, Bucky would be there, wiping away your tears, pressing a cool ice pack to your fractured wrist. When you had trouble cutting up your dinner, feeling everyone’s concerned eyes on you, Bucky would help you without hesitation. Or when it was time for your physical therapy appointment, he was there next to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder, when you tensed up during your hand stretches.
But most of all, he was there when you felt your walls crumble, feeling useless and helpless. Not being able to do the smallest task because of your hand, Bucky was there to wipe your tears away, to hold and comfort you, to press soft and loving kisses to your forehead and cheeks.
Sam always did his best to cheer you up, and sometimes it worked. Him intimidating one of the characters from the movies you’d watch, activating Redwing and having him follow Bucky around always brought a smile to your face. And most of all, when he noticed you were in an off-mood, and Bucky was out with Steve on a briefing meeting with Tony, he made you his famous beignets, coated with powdered sugar. He showed them to you, and your mood instantly lightened up.
One morning, on a rare occasion, you awoke before Bucky. You looked over at his sleeping form, and pressed a light kiss to his cheek before padding down the hall, and into the kitchen. Pushing yourself on the balls of your feet, you reached and grabbed Bucky’s mug, one that was grey with a quote from his favorite book, The Hobbit. You filled the filter with grounds and brewed coffee for him, while rummaging through the fridge for a muffin.
You knew, on the occasion, that Bucky loved quiet mornings, and he would usually be drinking his coffee with a muffin to go with it. So, you looked through the fridge before your eyes landed on the blueberry muffin he had bought a week earlier.
You pulled it out and closed the door, moving your attention back to the coffee that was almost ready. Studying for a moment, you looked down at your arm that was still in a sling, and came to a decision. Grabbing the mug with your free hand, you held the muffin by the wrapper in your injured hand’s hold, you held onto the pastry in a vice-like grip, fear of dropping it.
You made your way back to your room, feeling your hand start to cramp up from holding the muffin. You pushed open the door with your foot, and placed it on the desk near the door, looking up to see Bucky still asleep. You placed the muffin next to the mug, stretching out your hand.
The bedsheets rustled, and Bucky turned on his back, a hand coming up to wipe his face. Smiling to yourself, you grabbed the handle of the mug and walked over to his side, and you placed the mug on his nightstand, going back to the muffin.
“Good morning, sleepyhead.” you whispered, leaning down to press a kiss on his forehead as he blinked his eyes open. Bucky smiled tiredly at you and sat up, stretching his arms above his head.
“Morning, doll,” his voice came out rough. He leaned forward and pressed a sleepy kiss to your jaw, nudging his nose into your cheek.
“I made you coffee.” you said, grabbing the mug shakily. Bucky grasped the handle and smiled at you, taking a sip of the dark coffee. “And I brought you a muffin.” You smiled at him.
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Bucky said, placing the mug back on the nightstand. He pulled you into his lap, arms circling around your lower back. “What’s all this for?” he asked, tilting his head. You shrugged, playing with the lapels of his Henley that he wore, fingers circling around the buttons.
“I dunno… I just wanted to do something nice for you. Just as a thank you for the last few months, being patient with me.” you said, ducking your head in embarrassment. Bucky curled his finger and hooked it under your chin, gently bringing you to meet his eye.
“You don’t have to make me coffee, or bring me pastries to thank me. Being here with you, being able to hold you at night, and to sit next to you at dinner, or having you in my lap when we’re watching a movie, that’s enough for me. You’re enough for me.” Bucky said, and you felt tears well in your eyes. “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” you whispered, pressing your lips to his. Bucky cradled the back of your head as your lips molded against each other, fitting like a puzzle piece. Bucky pulled away, keeping you firmly in his lap as he reached for the muffin, tearing off a piece and offering it to you. You smiled and took it, biting into the soft pastry.
Looking at Bucky as he ate his muffin and drank his coffee, you felt an undying devotion to him, knowing that through the thick and thin of life, he would be there through it all. Through the happy moments to the rough patches, you had him. And that was more than enough for you.
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What Has Been, What Can Never Be I
Summary: Steve Rogers had returned to the past, hoping to move on from the chaos of the future. Leaving the woman that had loved him as someone more than just the persona of Captain America and his best friend that has always been with him until the end of the line.
But as he had come to settle in this new life back in his own time, regret was somehow coming to follow. When he decides to return to the present, things have changed and you, the woman that had always promised to be there for him was now happy with his best friend as the two of you moved on with your lives without Steve Rogers in it.
Characters: Bucky Barnes x Witch!Reader; Ex!Steve Rogers x Witch!Reader; Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter. Sam Wilson. Helmut Zemo. Sharon Carter.
Warnings: None For this Chapter
MASTERLIST || Join the Taglist || Requests Are Open
I: For The Ones That We Lost
Life has been different from what you had always thought it would be. But the sight of how your life had now become post-Steve Rogers was something to behold. You had always believed you would end up withering away in your own despair as Steve chose his past life over you. Choosing Peggy over you. But somehow here you were, a beaming smile on your lips as you helped Sarah with preparing food for everyone.
You had once lost your family at the hands of Tony Stark, vowed to kill him as retaliation, and eventually finding a family in the Avengers. A love you never thought you were still allowed to have, a family that you could somehow call as you own, as imperfect as it was.
"Are you heading back home?" Sarah had inquired.
With everything that had happened with the Flag Smashers, you had only thought it was best to get a few days off to rest--something you never really had been allowed to do since being dusted, to fighting Thanos, to everything else in between.
"Maybe." You shrugged, not really sure where Home was anymore.
With Tony long gone, as well as Nat and Steve, there wasn't really anyone you could come home to. Sokovia was no longer a home for you as much as it wasn't a home to Wanda.
You had remembered Zemo's offer in his castle and a small part of you wanted to take him up on that offer. Stay in your country for a while before you were back to work with Sam and Bucky if you were needed to be.
"Sam said you're looking for a place, ever thought about a place here? I know someone that can help you out with a place."
What you have never known of since the death of Tony Stark, was the trust fund he had place under your name as well as Wanda's, was it something he had always thought of to repay the sins of his past or was it just something he did after everything they've all been through. Being the father to you when you had lost your own. With the money, you wanted to start a new life, pursue higher education, or even just start a small little bakery or cafe like you had always dream of having with your family when they were still alive.
"I'll take you up on that offer, Sarah." You smiled at the older woman, appreciating all the hospitality she had given you and even Bucky since your arrival to their home. How easy she had treated you like a part of the family, unafraid of the powers that courses through your finger tips.
Maybe Louisiana is the place you could get your start. After everything you had lost, it was time for you to get back up on your feet and start rebuilding your life.
"Hope I'm not interrupting anything."
Turning to the owner of the voice, a smile rested on your lips at the sight of Bucky. Two cakes in his hands. A signature dessert he would bring whenever he comes to visit.
"Not much, James." You assured, letting go of the plates you were stacking to give the man a warm hug.
What many people don't know was their shared sentiments. They had lost so much in their life due to HYDRA's control, lost the freedom they once had, and lost someone that had always promised to be there when they need him the most. He had lost a best friend, and you had lost the only man you had ever loved.
It still hurts, you know as much, but for Bucky you know how much he was hurting more than you could even imagine. But slowly, the pain wasn't so painful like it used to be. They've got each other now, they got Sam, they got Sarah, and they got Sharon and even Zemo too (as much as Bucky would hate to admit it).
"How's the trip?" You inquired knowing how hard it was to travel all the way from Brooklyn to Louisiana.
"Got stopped by a couple of Metal Detectors in the airport." He points out and you broke into an carefree giggle.
A hand resting so freely on his vibranium arm. You had often teased him about it, how it's gonna be a problem he's gonna have to face on a daily basis especially when going to the airport.
"Please tell me you didn't scare the airport security." You teased.
"I did no such thing, Doll." He smirked hands resting on the small of your back. "But they did get the spooks when they saw the metal arm."
You nodded understanding, having been with him on one flight and seeing first-hand everything he had to go through and you tried your best to ease him fearing it would bring him back to a dark place.
"Let's get the show on the road, Love Birds." Sam's voice broke you two from your conversation and like being burned had you two pulling apart quicker.
The blush somehow found their way on both of your faces as the knowing look was shared between the Wilson Siblings.
"Can you help me with getting the plates and utensils out, Y/N?" Sarah finally offered knowing no one was going to save either of you from the awkward situation.
"Right." You had somehow found yourself taking all of the plates and utensil with you. You magic helping you out in the process.
"So you and Y/N?" Sam had inquired as soon as you and Sarah had left the kitchen leaving the two men to their own conversation.
"Sam." The warning tone was evident--but still ignored by the man.
The last thing Bucky would ever want is to take advantage of Steve's girl. But then again, you were no longer his girl. Peggy was his girl and you were just--someone he had left behind.
He could still remember the moment were you had talked to Steve's older self. A smile might had been on your lips, telling him how happy you were for him, for staying where he would be his happiest, but no one, not even Sam knew what you did after. The pained sobs that broke from your lips when you had thought no one was looking.
It was a pain Bucky was all too familiar with. He had known Steve would have stayed back in the past, but what he had never accounted for was keeping it a secret from you. Leaving you to hope and break your heart in the process.
"Take good care of her for me, Buck."
He had kept his promise to Steve. He had been there for you even when you didn't need his presence. Even when you had shoved him away time and time again in the earlier days of life after Steve, Stark, and Natasha.
You had lost three of the most important figures in your life, and he had wanted to make sure that he could be there for you, help in his own little way. Making you believe that there was still someone out there that cares for you. He cared, more than he would try to admit.
But then, things just evolved from his unspoken responsibility. He wasn't just taking care of you. He genuinely cared for you. One of the few peoples that had understood how he was still paying for the sins of his past. One that stood by him when everyone else turned their back on him.
His feelings were something he tried his best to hide. He wasn't better just yet. He wanted to be better before he could even think of whatever Sam was insinuating.
"You can scowl all you want but that definitely isn't just a friendly hug you two were in." Sam smirked patting him on the back before dragging him out of the porch.
"She's just a friend." Bucky muttered, hoping it was enough that even he could believe it.
"And I'm not Captain America." Sam snorts sitting him right down on the table--right in front of you, blush from whatever Sarah was telling you.
"What were you ladies talking about?" Sam had inquired knowing fully well it has something to do with Bucky and you.
"We were talking about a place I could buy." You intervened. "It's either here or Brooklyn." You continued.
It was enough for Sam to change the subject of whatever was going on between Bucky and you as he explain a few good places you could either rent or buy.
In the conversation, Bucky just couldn't help himself as he just looks at you. It took him a while to understand why the Punk had gone for you.
You were just a darling to be around. Rough around the edges--for a very good reason, but you just had this look in you. The doe eye that would make even the stone cold killer break even for just a second; it was him, he was the stone cold killer. You spoke your mind, but always placed everyone else's happiness before your own. You always downplay your abilities only for you to take down anyone you could ever come across with just a flick of your wrist.
Yeah. He might be in love--faster than he ever thought possible.
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drinks on me | bucky barnes
pairings: coworker!Bucky Barnes x coworker!female reader
summary: your friends beg you to play in the friendly company softball championship against your work crush.
warnings: pure fluff, this is literally a rom com, cuss words, mentions of baseball/softball (sry im an ex softball player), mutual pining, “friendly” game of softball, etc etc
You laugh at the desperate pleads of your coworkers as they follow you into your office.
“It’s just one game! Just one!” Anna pleads.
“No, absolutely not.” You shake your head. You place your files down on your desk and turn to see your three best friends/co-workers with hopeless faces.
“Y/N... please!” Maggie begs.
Rachel echos their statements and gives you a strong puppy dog pout.
“Jesus...Fine!” You drop your head in defeat.
The three musketeers erupt in cheers. You roll your eyes and let out a laugh at their excitement.
“One game. That’s it. I’m too old for this bullshit.” You sigh.
“Oh shut up, we are still young. You literally stopped playing softball two years ago. You’ll be fine, champ.” Rachel winks.
“Besides, I just want to see the look on Bucky’s face when he sees you in softball pants.” Lauren chimes in.
The three then giggle like high school girls and you dramatically roll your eyes.
The thought of picking up a softball glove again was very enticing but the thought of playing against your work crush was not. You and Bucky always had a thing for each other but neither of you was bold enough to make a move. He was sweet, caring, funny, and oooh so attractive. His old-school Brooklyn accent was enough to make any girl mad but you were particularly drawn to his ocean blue eyes and strong jaw. The accent was merely a plus.
When all your coworkers discussed making softball teams and playing a few games you immediately opted out. You went to every game and cheered everyone on but you didn’t want to play again. But when one of your coworkers hurt themselves last game, your three friends came to you and have begged all week for you to play as his replacement. Tonight was the “championship” game and losers had to buy winners drinks afterward.
The stakes were very high. Clearly.
“He’ll hate me after he sees how competitive I get.” You sigh.
“Or... he will get super turned on and finally make a move!” Lauren smiles.
The three continue their giggling and you force them out of your office. “Go! Go! See you tonight.” You hurry them out.
You sit behind your desk and dread tonight. The only good thing is you get to see Bucky in baseball pants up close. Thank god for that.
After work, you hurry home and grab the essentials. You throw on an old t-shirt from your college softball days and dig out your glove and cleats. You throw your hair up in your signature high pony and smirk in the mirror. Rachel was right, it had only been two years since you played but you knew it was going to take a minute to warm your body back up. You meet up with your girlfriends and you all head to the field together.
“Just like old times!” Maggie smiles as you climb in the car.
“Don’t remind me,” you groan.
Once you pull up to the field you immediately spot Bucky. Tight white baseball pants. Navy short sleeve t-shirt. And to top off the look, the Yankees hat he stole from you a few months ago. You told him he looked better in it than you and you’ll never forget the way he blushed. A few days later he showed up at the office with a new one for you. “I think you pull it off better than me, so we will just have matching ones.” He smirked.
You pull yourself from your reminiscing daydream and get out of the car. One of your male coworkers whistles, once he sees you, and Bucky quickly turns around. His eyes widen as you walk towards him.
“Woah. Hey there, superstar.” He smiles.
“Aaron Judge?! Is that you?” You tease.
“Yeah baby, it’s me! Gimme a hug,” He teases back as he puts out his arms.
You love how he can combat your sass. You roll your eyes and he quickly changes his tone.
“What’re you doing?” He asks as his eyes wander down your body. You try to control your smirk as you know he’s enjoying his view.
“She’s playing for us tonight, Buck. Prepare to lose.” Rachel steps in.
“What!? I begged you to play and you told me no!” He whines.
“I’m sorry,” you smile.
“No, you’re not.” He says as he acts offended.
You chuckle to yourself and take off towards the dugout. As you warm up you take the chance to glance at Bucky at every opportunity. Of course, every time you look, he’s already looking at you. You see one of your male coworkers tease him as Bucky is too busy watching you he misses a ball. You chuckle to yourself and continue doing your own thing.
Your stomach fills with butterflies as game time quickly approaches. Just like the old days. Your team loses the coin toss, so you’re the away team which means you hit first. Your friends put all of their faith in you as they place you 4th in the lineup, cleanup position.
Once you get to the plate there is one out and two runners on the bases.
“Easy out!” Bucky jokes from his position at shortstop.
You shake your head and chuckle to yourself as you dig in the batters' box. You make a mental note to slap him after the game. Lucky for you, the first pitch is right down the middle and you hit a line drive into the outfield. You quickly make it around first and head towards second as the two runners score. You see Bucky coming towards the bag and see the ball is being thrown back into him. You slide headfirst into the bag avoiding the tag from him and being called safe. Your team and the fans made up of significant others and friends all cheer. You pop yourself up on the bag with a large grin on your face. Bucky throws the ball back to the pitcher and turns around and looks at you with raised eyebrows.
“Impressive,” he smirks.
“Oh, that? That was nothing.” You shrug your shoulders.
He giggles at you and takes a few steps into you. His ocean blue eyes were barely hidden by his cap.
“You’re killing me in the pants, doll.” He whispers.
“That was the point, Barnes.” You smirk.
He chuckles at your response. He turns to walk off but then spins around,
“Loser buys winner a drink.” He says.
“That’s already the deal, idiot.” You roll your eyes.
“Loser buys winner drinks, tomorrow night, by themselves.” He clarifies.
“Game on, Barnes.”
You both smirk at each other. The rest of the game was merely a competition between the two of you. Forget everyone else. If you hit a double he had to hit a triple. If he made a great play, you had to make a better one. You both knew it didn’t really matter who won, the deal was a win-win situation. But it was something about competing against Bucky that you enjoyed. Your other ex-boyfriends always hated how competitive you were. Really they were just jealous you were more athletic than them. But Bucky thrives on it. Lauren was right, it actually turns him on to see you so involved and determined to win, determined to beat him.
Your team was leading by one run and as if it was fate or a 90’s baseball film, Bucky was up to bat with two runners on and two outs.
“Easy out!” You mimic him from earlier.
He gives you a sharp look which gives way to a sly smirk. He works the count to make it more dramatic. 3 balls, two strikes. In your mind, it’s game 7 of the World Series and you will get this last out even if it kills you.
The sound of the ball popping off his bat forces you to run backward. You were playing your native position of shortstop (just like Bucky) and followed the high pop fly backward and backward. Always one for the theatrics, you dive backward, falling to the ground rather harshly. Your head thumps against the ground and you hear Bucky shout out your name. As you pull yourself from the ground, you see Bucky running into the outfield towards you.
“Doll? Are you alright?” His face is full of worry.
You pull the ball out of your glove and smile.
“You’re out! We win! Kiss the ring, Barnes!”
You stand up and your team erupts in cheers. Bucky rolls his eyes and laughs at you.
“I’ll do more than that,” he whispers as he grabs your free hand and pulls you into him. He plants a soft kiss against your lips and before you can comprehend what’s happening he pulls away.
You look up at him with a large grin which prompts him to chuckle. Even more, cheers erupt behind the two of you,
“About fucking time!” Someone yells.
You both roll your eyes and he leans down to capture you in one more kiss.
“Drinks on me.” He smirks.
“About fucking time,” you whisper.
a/n: we love a good rom-com meet softball game!! hope you enjoyed <3
taglist: @marvel-ous-miss-maisie | @stucky-my-ship | @dancer3205 | @capmanranger | @wooyugta | @marvelfansworld | @heretokilltime | @russosprettydiamondnow | @voguesir | @silentkiller2374 | @igotnoname4thisblog | @sunflowerfive | @smokeinherperfume | @daybleedsintonightfa11 | @granpafrisbee | @straightforwardly | @gitasor | @i-run-on-words-and-ink | @pineprincess | @silentkiller2374 | @apple-piie-life | @insane-perfectionist02 | @omgcygnusssstuff | @safetyholland
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Summary: your boyfriend made you a cake for your 25th birthday.
Pairing: Pastry Chef!Bucky Barnes x Reader
Bucky finished the last little touches to the cake.
“Wow, Chef,” Wanda said seeing the cake. “It’s not something you would usually make.”
“Yeah, but I’m dating a girl who watches kids cartoons in her free time and has a sweet tooth. She makes me very happy,” Bucky said pulling out his phone. “And this’ll make her very happy.”
“You’re totally in love, ya know that?” She said.
Bucky smiled. Wanda headed off with a smirk on her face. Bucky took a picture of the cake before boxing it up and taking it out to his Uber. He has the Uber driver take him to your place.
When Bucky gets there, you’re quick to throw open the door. You want to leap into his arms but you can’t. He has your birthday cake in two boxes taped together.
“Hi, Baby,” you said.
“Hey—Lemme put it down first, Sugar,” Bucky said.
You pouted and stepped out of the way to let him enter. He went straight to your kitchen and gently placed the cake on the counter. You followed him of course after closing the door. Bucky then wrapped his arms around you.
“Happy birthday, Munchkin,” your boyfriend said.
“Thank you— can I see my cake now?” you asked.
“Can I get a kiss first?” He asked.
“Yes, you can,” you said.
You wrapped your arms around his neck and pressed your lips against his. You can taste the iced vanilla mocha he claims to not drink on lips. It makes you smile.
“I love you,” you said.
He hummed and said, “I know.”
“Are you ever gonna say it back?” you asked.
“You wanna see your cake?” He asked changing the subject.
“Yes, I do,” you said letting your question drop.
“You gotta close your eyes, Sugar, so I can pull it out of the box,” your boyfriend said. “There will be no peeking or I’m gonna throw your against your wall.”
“Okay, okay,” you said putting your hands over your eyes.
He kissed your hands. You giggled making him smile. He opened up the box and carefully brought out your cake. He placed it on the kitchen island. He went behind you and wrapped his arms around you. He faced you towards your cake.
“You can look now, Sugar,” Bucky said softly.
You pulled away your hands. You squealed and laughed seeing the cake. You jumped up and down excitedly. You spun around and threw your arms around him.
“I love it!” You exclaimed.
“That makes me very happy, Sugar,” he said holding you tightly.
“I can’t wait to show everyone at my party that my boyfriend made me the best cake ever,” you squealed.
“I love you,” he said.
“I know you do,” you smiled.
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The Favors, Pt. 3
Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader
Part 1 | Part 2
Summary: Reader assumes that Bucky is experienced due to him being a ladies man in the 40s, however, she finds out that he’s never been touched and decides to help him out. (3 part smut series, virgin!bucky)
Warnings: language, smut, penetration, drinking, brief mention of anxiety, descriptions of nudity, hickies, fingering, unprotected but reader is on birth control
A/N - this ones a bit longer cause I added a little more plot to it. But here’s the grand finale. Once again will mention that I am not great at writing smut so bear with me. Also I didn’t proof read this, there’s prolly mistakes everywhere.
“Looks like you’re having fun.”
He’d been staring down at his drink intensely, furrowing his eyebrows and frowning, for god only knows how long. He was sitting in a far corner of the room, away from mostly everyone but close enough to the bar that he wouldn’t have to walk far for a new drink. You’d seen him from across the room, looking irritated as ever, with many other empty cups surrounding him. It’d be concerning for a normal person to have drank that much but you knew he was fine. In that aspect anyways. His head shot up quickly when you spoke, almost as if you startled him. Actually, you probably did because he was so lost in thought.
“Having the time of my life.” Bucky said with a grimace before gulping down what was left in his glass.
“I’m sure you are. I love the look you’ve got goin on here, the suit and tie with resting bitch face is a great combo.” A smirk tugged your lips as you spoke and for a brief second you thought you saw a smile start to form on his. Then he rolled his eyes and looked away again.
“You know, you’d maybe, just maybe, have more fun if you socialized a little bit.”
That earned you a glare, one that implied you just said the stupidest thing in the world. Once again, Tony threw a party, well, a formal party. You had no idea what the occasion was, not that you cared. It was an excuse to dress up and get drunk, so the reasoning behind the party didn’t matter to you, you were just glad it was happening. Bucky, not so much.
“Oh come on, don’t give me that look. You know I’m right.” You teased with a soft punch to his shoulder.
“No.” He denied with a dramatic head shake.
“Yes. You can’t just be at a party and hide away in a corner.”
“If I had it my way, I wouldn’t be here at all.” He grumbled, his hands fiddling with the empty cup.
You knew he hated parties, or any social gathering. Or basically just being around people in general other than his very few friends, on some days he didn’t even want to be around them. You knew he was anxious, you could tell by the way he was fidgeting and because he’d briefly spoken about his social anxiety before. You were well aware that this was hard for him. But you also knew that sometimes he needed to be pushed just a tiny bit outside of his comfort zone, you knew it’d be good for him.
“Come on, Bucky. Just for like ten minutes.”
You sighed in defeat before sitting down next to him. “If you won’t talk to anyone else, then will you at least talk to me?”
“I guess so.” He smirked just the tiniest bit at you, then he let his eyes quickly roam your body before averting his gaze.
The two of you sat and talked for a bit. You teased back and forth. You people watched and made fun of some of the drunk idiots around you. He couldn’t deny that the party was more bearable with your company.
“Wanna go dance?” You asked suddenly, causing his heart to skip for a minute. He examined the crowd of dancing people before responding.
“I don’t know if I’d consider that dancing.” He chuckled a bit. “Just looks like a bunch of people humping each other.”
You laughed a little bit at that, you loved when he acted like an old man. “If I convince them to play a slow song, then will you dance with me?”
“Maybe.” He smiled softly.
So you did, you payed the guy on music ten dollars to play something not so upbeat. To your surprise, none of the other guests seemed to mind, they just kept on dancing with each other as they had before. With that, you took Bucky’s hand and led him to the middle of the floor. You moved your body close to his and wrapped your arms around his neck. His own, shakily found a spot on your hips.
You looked up at him, admiring his beauty, as you swayed. You noticed he was barely making eye contact and that his body was tense. So you moved your self in a little closer and dragged one hand to his back, rubbing it in gentle ministrations.
“Relax, bud. It’s just me.” You reassured gently. He smiled and you felt the tension from his shoulders decrease. “You look good, by the way.”
“Thanks.” Bucky blushed sheepishly. “I, uh, you look good too. Stunning, I mean. You’re beautiful.” He then rambled out nervously.
You didn’t say anything back but instead rested your head against his shoulder. You then felt his arms wrap around your lower back tightly. You stayed dancing like this till the end of the song was near. You lifted your head to meet his big blue eyes that were now full of affection. With a sudden rush of confidence, he brought one hand to your chin and lifted your face to meet his own, kissing you sweetly. Your tongues gently grazed each other.
It wasn’t like you’d never kissed before, but this was different. It was real, there was more behind it than just trying to be experimental. This had real emotion and affection in it. When he broke away you were almost saddened, not wanting it to be over. So you pulled him in again. Kissing him just an lovingly as before, but with each second that went by, things sped up, got more passionate.
You were no longer dancing even, the song that had been playing was over. You were just standing there making out. It took a couple of minutes or so for you to realize that you were in public, people were probably staring. You broke away.
“Let’s go somewhere more private.”
That more private place ending up being the hallway. The second you two were out of the room, you were immediately all over each other. He was more passionate for you than ever in this moment, practically hungry for you. The kissing got more and more sloppy by the minute but it was enjoyable. Next thing you knew there was a hand on your ass, grabbing and squeezing it borderline aggressively. This made you pull him in further to you, you took his free, metal hand and placed on your breast so he could fondle it as well. After a few more minutes of this, you felt something hard brushing against your leg. In between kisses, you mumbled, “my room. now.”
It wasn’t far. One floor up one the elevator and then the first door beside of it. You managed to get inside without breaking away from each other for more than a few seconds. As soon as you entered the room, you pinned Bucky against the wall. You stopped for a second slipped off his blazer, his lips now messily red from your lipstick. You went back to his lips while you unbuttoned his white shirt, he then began to unzip your dress and it slid right off of you with a little tug.
Your tongue trailed his until you found a perfect spot on his collar bone. You started to suck on his soft skin while he moved his hips against you. His breathe was heavy, you could hear every inhale and exhale as clear as day and his chest was heaving against your own. After a few moments he started to lift at your legs hastily. You knew what he wanted so you lifted your arms around his neck once again as you kissed. He picked you up, your legs wrapped around his hips and he carried you to the bed, where he then threw you down.
He was now looming over top of you, his huge body only inches above your own. He lifted your upper body slightly, just enough to where he could unclip your bra and then let you fall back again. He threw the bra across the room before hungrily pressing his lips to yours. His giant hands roamed your body freely, touching whatever he pleased.
After a moment, he put his attention on your breasts, putting your tender nipple in his mouth and swirling his tongue around it. You moaned slightly before speaking out. “Getting a little confident, huh, Buck?”
The man didn’t even respond, rather just moved his mouth to the inner edge of your breast were he began to give you a hickey just as you’d done to him a few minutes before. You moved around him to slip off your own thong, pulling it down enough just to leave room for him. You grabbed his metal hand and brought it to your pussy, he thankfully took the hint and inserted two of the cold fingers. Still sucking on your skin, he started to pump his fingers back and forth forcefully, causing you to whimper in pleasure.
A few moments later you grabbed his wrist to stop him, he pulled his hand away and tried to kiss you on the lips again but you didn’t let him. Instead you grabbed his shoulders and flipped him over. He was now laying on his back, you straddled over his thick thighs whilst unzipping his pants. You practically ripped his bottoms off, bringing them down released his large, pink cock that was already leaking precum.
“Wanna feel your cock in me, Buck.” You hummed lustfully. “Do you want me to ride you, hun?”
He swallowed and nodded his head quickly.
“Words, Bucky.” You commanded. You grabbed his dick and squeezed it gently.
“Yes. God, Y/N, please. Wanna be in you, wanna fuck you.”
You started to pump your hand very slowly up and down his cock, making him moan loudly.
You leaned in to kiss him passionately again, when you broke away, you rubbed his chin, feeling the stubble on your finger tips. “You’re so pretty.”
You peppered kisses from his neck all the way down to his happy trail.
“Gonna have to ride you, cause you’re so fuckin pretty.”
“You’re prettier.” He mumbled sweetly. You smiled and hushed him, before spitting all over his dick. Making sure it’s nice and wet before it goes in.
“You ready, buck?” You said, leading his cock to your entrance.
“Yes, yes.” He said frantically, he wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait. His cock was practically throbbing at this point.
You lifted your hips a bit to settle on it, you started to push it in, hurting you since it was so large. You put his cock in as far as you could with slight winces because of the size. You then lowered yourself back down and rested your hands on his belly while you bounced up and down. Both of you were moaning loudly. Bucky grabbed you and started to thrust his hips upward.
He was getting increasingly loud, practically screaming out your name. You felt so good around him, you were so tight wrapped around his length, so warm. He felt amazing to you too, you weren’t sure if you’d ever had a dick this big inside you. The fast pace you both were going at made it feel even better, it was painful for you but in the most pleasurable way possible.
“Y/N…Y/N, I’m not gonna last much longer.” He whined, with you still moving up and down on his cock quickly.
“I’m gonna cum, Y/N”
“It’s okay.” You whimpered. “Cum for me.”
You started to go faster, as quickly as you could, moaning out his name repeatedly. Bucky half moaned, half shouted, the word “fuck.” Then you felt a hot liquid pooling inside you.
You threw yourself off of him, letting the sticky liquid make a mess on your bed. You hear him panting beside of you, you’re panting yourself truthfully. You look over to find that he was already staring at you with wide eyes, mouth hanging slightly open.
“How was it, since it was your first time and all?” You asked.
“Really fucking good.” He said bluntly before his demeanor suddenly shifted. He seemed almost shy now, much to your confusion. He opened his mouth to speak but then shut it quickly as if he couldn’t find the right words.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine, I just-“ Bucky cut himself off mid sentence and looked away from you.
“You what, hun?” You spoke gently, with a hint of concern in your voice.
“I love you…” He mumbled, barely audible.
You sighed and raised an eyebrow. “Bucky, I can’t hear you when you mumble like that.”
“I said I love you.” His voice was deep and his words flew out quick. He avoided eye contact out of nervousness but he also felt the need to further clarify his feelings. “I’m not just saying that because we had sex, I’ve loved you for months.”
You didn’t answer immediately, you were in shock and it took you a moment to process that information. When you didn’t answer, regret filled his head, he wished he wouldn’t have said anything until-
“I love you too, Bucky. So much.” You finally responded gently, and then you shifted your body to cuddle against his chest.
Tag list: @your-not-invisible-to-me @lilakings @winterwhore @lonewolf471 @barnesand1
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Hi, Navy! I know you aren't taking any requests right now and you are super busy, but can we get a small taste of florist Bucky? I'm sorry for asking. I've been having a bad day. 🥺
Hi, nonnie. I'm sorry you're not having a great day. Maybe a small headcanon for how the reader and Bucky meet? First thing I've written in days. Hope you like it and feel better! 💙
Pairing: Beefy Florist!Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: Over 450
Warnings: Beefy florist Bucky (that's a warning, okay?), fluff, no smut (not yet at least)
Please follow @navybrat817-sideblog for new fics and notifications. Not beta read and written on my phone, so any and all mistakes are my own. Please comment and reblog if you’re inclined! 18+ please!!! - Banners by @its-just-may
When you walk into the bright shop with your friend, Ruth, you almost whimper at the sight in front of you.
A massive man with a metal arm is carefully putting together one of the most beautiful arrangements you've ever seen.
He should look out of place surrounded by flowers, but he looks right at home as he turns his head and asks how he can help you.
You aren't sure what to concentrate on first: his soft smile, stunning blue eyes, soft hair kept in place with a bun or how his apron looks like it's about to tear from the sheer size of him.
Ruth nudges you since you're close to the drooling stage and says she's trying to decide on flowers for her upcoming wedding.
She also gives you a wink and secretly hopes you ask him to be your plus one.
The god man in front of you introduces himself as Bucky and gazes at you as you say your name before listening to your friend talk a mile a minute about the colors and options for the bouquets, corsages and reception tables.
Bucky is attentive as she shows him swatches of the bridesmaids dress and tablecloth colors, but you swear he keeps giving you small glances as he listens. And you know you're staring.
You have to smile when Ruth finally takes a breather and asks for his opinion. It's clear that he's passionate about what he does as he offers his expertise and shows sample photos of what we can do.
You wonder what else he's passionate about… Something tells you he would be the best boyfriend.
"Are you single?" you blurt out.
You wait for the ground to swallow you up as Bucky and Ruth stop talking. You can't even think of a good cover up for why you asked that.
Instead of brushing you off like you expect, he smiles. "I am, doll."
"She's single, too," Ruth adds, an all too gleeful look in her eyes at what's unfolding. "And free on Saturday, in case you were wondering."
Bucky makes a show of checking the calendar as you nudge Ruth, who tries to feign innocence. "Would you look at that? I'm free on Saturday, too. Would you… like to grab a bite to eat with me?"
There's an almost nervous look in his eyes that makes him more endearing as your heart races. "I'd love to."
"It's a date, petal," he smiles, excusing himself to ring up another customer. You're proud you don't faint on the spot from that grin.
"Petal?" is the only word you can get out as he walks away, still in disbelief that you have a date.
"Oh, he already gave you a pet name. He's gonna marry you. Just you wait."
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Hello World - Bucky Barnes x Reader
a/n: aww, you guys were so ready for Baby Barnes to make an appearance... here she/he is! i loved this. if you want the baby series to continue and want to see Bucky as a dad, shoot me over some ideas in my ask! :)
Bucky Barnes Masterlist
tagging: @fandomxreaders, @bloodyproudpotterhead, @l0st-in-reality , @nervousbiscuitzonkslime
** if you want to be added to my tag list, please let me know! if you want to be removed, also let me know! **
It was as though time stood still that night. Your life seemingly moved in slow motion when you awoke and felt the throbbing pain developing in your lower back. You were more than used to backaches, but something about this pain made you struggle to get your bearings. You were due in a week, so you wouldn't be too shocked if this child decided to make their appearance early.
Pushing a breath from between your tightly thinned lips, you gazed over to see Bucky in a peaceful slumber, not having a single idea of what was going on. You decided not to bother him. Maybe it was just Braxton hicks, you had been having them for the longest time. You remembered all of the online articles you read plus the advice Sarah had given you as time inched closer.
“If your contractions are five minutes apart, lasting one minute for one hour or longer.”
So you tried to lie back down, now extremely uncomfortable since you were awoken from an almost peaceful state. Pregnancy had caused you to not receive the hours you were used to, as you would always either be up in the middle of the night, or you just weren’t comfortable.
You cast your eyes over to the corner of the room, noting that the hospital bags were packed and ready to go if this was it. They had been so for the last month now. Stroking a hand across your swollen belly, part of you was excited, yet the other part remained scared. This was an entirely new field for you and Bucky. You had talked about it for months ever since you saw those two pink lines on the pregnancy test. You dreamt of what the baby looked like, whether they were Bucky’s absolute twin or at least favored you some.
Moving the covers off of you, you quietly rolled out of bed and stood upright, but soon that dull ache made itself known again in your lower back, this time a bit sharper than before. It caused you to let out a groan of discomfort to which you felt the bed move instantly.
“Doll?” Bucky’s sleepy voice called your name. He rubbed his eyes with his hand, propping himself up on his metal arm. Glancing at you, his eyes widened instantaneously when he saw you doubled over the side of the bed, grimacing. Rushing out from under the blankets, he appeared behind you within seconds, his hands on your back. “What’s wrong?” He questioned.
You sucked a breath in, trying to breathe. “I-I’m fine,” You whispered. It had been about eight minutes already since your last one, so maybe this wasn’t it. “I think they’re just stronger Braxton hicks?” You quietly muttered, feeling as Bucky’s hand rubbed your lower back soothingly. You stood up and wrapped your arms around your fiancé, holding him close to you as you absentmindedly began to sway your hips back and forth.
“Could you run me some water?” You asked him in a hushed voice.
“Of course, love.” Bucky quickly said, kissing your forehead. He stumbled, still practically half-asleep, out from the bedroom and into the connected bathroom. You heard the water start to run, the scent of essential oils filling your airways, releasing waves of calm over you. You pushed yourself into the bathroom and began lazily taking off your clothes, your massive belly protruding. Bucky smiled warmly at you, rubbing his hand across it.
“Want me to join you?” He asked you gently, grasping your bare shoulders.
“Mmhm,” You whined to which he quickly began removing his clothes. Once the water was entirely filled, Bucky held your hand as you stepped over the edge, slowly sinking into the water. He always ran the best baths for you.
Bucky found himself slipping in behind you. He placed his hands gently on your shoulders, carefully pulling you against him so your back rested against his chest. You smiled contently as he poured handfuls of water over your stomach and shoulders, earning a delighted moan from your lips.
But as he poured the third handful over you, the pain reappeared, only this time you felt the tension in your stomach. You felt as it waved from your lower back, all the way to your midsection, wrapping itself around you. You let out a pained groan, rushing to grasp Bucky’s hands. You intertwined them in his, squeezing for dear life.
“Doll, are you sure this isn’t it?” He asked. You thought back to the previous two, noting that this one came a bit closer than the last. Which made you absentmindedly think that maybe it would be wise to head to the hospital.
“It might be,” You whined, pushing yourself off of Bucky so you could lean over the tub. He put his hands against your back and rubbed, making you grumble under your breath as it finally passed. Relaxing back onto Bucky’s chest, you exhaled deeply. “That one hurt a bit, not gonna lie,” You hissed.
You two remained in the tub for about twenty more minutes and you had three waves of pain, each progressing just a little more. Bucky helped you out and grabbed you a pair of clothes. You two decided to make the move to the hospital and that’s when your nerves began to develop. You hissed as you two exited from your home, another pain racking your body, which made you stop on the doorstep. Bucky finished loading everything into the car before he walked back over and grasped your hand, leading you to the passenger’s side.
The drive to the hospital was filled with your constant moans of pain as each one made its course through your body. You quickly sent a text over to some of your family members, knowing they would see it once they woke up. You knew this baby wasn’t coming for a good while, even though right now, the pain said otherwise.
When you reached the hospital and were settled into a room, you discovered you were already three centimeters, the doctor suggesting you would have a baby that afternoon.
“Are you opting for an epidural, Ms. Y/L/N?” The doctor asked you to which you shook your head no, Bucky’s eyes suddenly widening.
“Doll, I thought you wanted,” - You shook your head again, raising your hand.
“No, I want to try and do this naturally.” You smiled softly as another contraction made its way, causing you to cry out in pain and reach for Bucky who grabbed you immediately. You tangled your arms around his neck as he kissed your cheek tenderly. A tear couldn’t help but form in your eye as you inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly as you were instructed, Bucky trying his best to keep up with you. He wanted to be calming, he wanted to show you that he was your partner in this. He was trying to be the best father he could be before this baby made its appearance.
“Just think, doll,” Bucky whispered into your ear as you two stood in your room, swaying back and forth. He clasped his hand in yours and it looked as though you were slow dancing to something from the forties, which made you giggle against his shoulder. “We’re meeting our little boy or girl here soon.” He said as he kissed your forehead sweetly.
You smiled. “I know… I’m so nervous.” You mumbled.
“I am too,” Bucky admitted. As you were about to add to the conversation, another contraction hit you, this one a lot worse than the rest. You let out a cry and snatched your hands out of Bucky’s, only to toss them around his neck, holding him tight.
“I know, doll, I know,” Bucky coaxed, moving to push circles against your back. You whined desperately against him, the waves of pain making your vision go blurry as they continued to intensify.
Cut to about three hours later, you were nestled inside of the tub, warm water streaming across you. Bucky was on his knees in front of you, rubbing your arms soothingly as you bellowed through each contraction, whimpering towards the end.
“We’re never having sex again,” You moaned loudly, making the nurse who was in the room snicker. “I’m serious, Bucky!” You cried. “If you dare bring that thing around me, I’m cutting it off!”
Bucky clenched at your word choice, smiling gently as he rubbed your arms.
“You are officially at ten… I’ll be right back,” The nurse said. You looked up at Bucky, fear striking you.
“Oh my God,” You gasped. “This… This is really about to happen? You cried, another pain forcing itself onto you. You felt the immense pressure beginning to build which made you practically scream, clasping onto Bucky.
“I, I need you,” You moaned loudly, hands gripping him. Bucky simply obeyed and removed his shirt. He slipped into the tub and spread his legs, letting your back lay in between them. Moments later the doctor and nurse reappeared.
The pressure was building to a point you could barely stand and that’s when your body already started taking control, your cries erupting in the room. Bucky’s heart was shattering at the sounds you made. He only wanted to take it all away from you.
“Alright, on your next contraction, I just need you to take a deep breath and hold for ten, okay?” You quickly nodded, nearly about to strangle yourself from the pain.
You felt another contraction on the heels of the previous one. Bucky helped you to pull your legs back, his voice at your ear the entire time. You closed out entirely what the doctor was saying, your attention on the person behind you. Your safe haven.
You bore down, a scream eliciting from your throat as you pushed, Bucky coaxing you.
“Come on, doll, you got this, good girl,” He praised you as your breath left your lungs. You immediately went back, gripping into Bucky’s thighs as you cried harder, sweat already beginning to form around your head.
The burning sensation began which made you feel dizzy, groans emerging left and right from your mouth. “Y/N, you’re crowning, so just breathe. Don’t push.” The doctor looked at you. The pressure was building, you desperately wanted to.
“Oh my God,” You moaned. “I really need to,” Bucky rubbed your legs gently.
“Don’t,” He commanded you. “Just breathe, doll. I’m right here.” He promised you.
You felt a pop, the baby’s head fully out, the nurse smiling. “Baby’s got a head full of dark hair,” She smiled and tears fell from your eyes, already knowing this child was going to look just like Bucky.
Another contraction came and you pushed as hard as you could, Bucky counting to ten for you. You released your breath and you could already hear the excitement in his voice.
“Oh, doll, I’m so proud of you!” He smiled widely, his voice cracking slightly.
Your head flopped against Bucky’s shoulder.
“One more and you’ve got a baby,” The doctor grinned at you both.
“I… I can’t,” You mumbled, your every ounce of strength failing you. You felt like you couldn’t do it.
Bucky kissed your temple.
“Yes, you can, doll. Just one more push, okay?” He kissed you again.
You inhaled deeply and pushed one final time, relief washing over you as you felt the baby exit from you. You nearly screamed and saw as the child was lifted out of the water and placed directly onto your chest. Bucky released your legs and placed his hands on top of yours, both of you beginning to cry.
“Hello, lovely, oh my gosh,” You mumbled, running your hand across their sweet face. The nurse was quick to clamp the cord and handed Bucky the scissors. He cut it gently and you smiled, crying harder.
“Oh my, what are you?” You cried, looking. The doctor glanced at the baby and smiled softly.
“It’s a boy,”
You cried harder, Bucky’s own sobs erupting once he heard the sex.
• • • •
You cuddled closer into Bucky who was lying next to you, your son cradled in his arms.
He was absolutely beautiful. His hair was dark and his eyes were pretty blue. He looked as though he was Bucky’s twin with a few features resembling yours such as your nose and lips. Everything else was a spitting image of his father.
“What are we going to name you, little dude?” Bucky laughed, his eyes drying up from the cries he did a little while ago. You looked up at him, the name coming to you. You both had mentioned it in conversation. Bucky desperately said that if the baby was a boy, he wanted to name him after his very best friend… He wanted nothing more than this child to have a piece of Steve with him wherever he went.
“You’re thinking of that one name… aren’t you?” Bucky questioned you, making you giggle and nod your head in exhaustion. Bucky glanced down at the sleeping baby who had his hand wrapped around Bucky’s index finger.
“Welcome to the world…” Bucky smiled, throwing his head back before he stared back down at the perfect baby. With a tear in his eye, he sniffled. “Grant Buchanan Barnes,”
The baby moved within Bucky’s grasp, his tiny hand tightening around Bucky’s finger which caused a cry to erupt from your fiancé.
Grant was already the absolute love of your lives. He only made your bond become stronger.
And he was named after an absolute hero.
Steven Grant Rogers, this is for you.
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Burnin' For You
pairing: bucky x reader
word count: 3.1k
summary: the man with Steve turned out to be far more important to you than you'd realized.
warnings: post civil war!bucky; mentions of blood, food, death and torture; descriptions of injury; swearing
a/n: honestly i suck at writing fluff. this was inspired by Burnin' for You by Blue Öyester Cult - that song has been stuck in my head since FORVEVER
also this is a birthday gift for the loml aka @xleiaorgana i love you so much bestie <3
Loving Bucky wasn’t a free-fall.
It was like falling asleep in the arms of a lover. Like watching the sun come up. Like the soft brush of fingers against the inside of your wrist, like the purple-pink tint of the ocean just before the rise of the moon.
Falling in love with Bucky was learning every single dark thought that passed through his mind. It was the delicate cold of his vibranium arm on your skin, it was the flushed heat of his flesh fingers rubbing circles on your thigh. It was looking out at the world that stretched below you from the highest point of the universe, drunk on the stars in his eyes and the taste of plums and honey wine on his lips.
Loving Bucky wasn’t a free-fall. It was a slow, steady climb to paradise.
The man with Steve looked like he needed a hug. And a doctor. And a warm bath. And maybe a haircut.
Actually, no, you thought to yourself. I like his hair.
You stood leaning against the back wall of the Avengers compound, dressed in the gym clothes you’d worn for your run. Bluetooth headphones tucked into your ears, blaring a Lorde song, your chest heaving as you glanced down at your watch to check your heartbeat. The tiny display read at a steady ninety-six, your heart rate slowing as your breathing evened out.
Overhead, the sky turned a dull purple, tinting everything in pink and gold. In the muted glow of the lights lining the compound, everything around you looked whitewashed and grey—a little too quiet, a little too dull.
From where you stood, you could see the open deck of the landing bay, could make out the tiny flickering lights on the runway. Steve had called you earlier, to tell you that he would be home soon. That he was bringing Bucky back.
Truth be told, you never knew what to make of Bucky Barnes. You had never personally met him, like a lot of people at the compound, And yet, somehow everyone seemed to have a more concrete opinion of him than you did. Somehow, everyone seemed to have decided who he was without actually knowing him.
You had heard the stories, of course—stories of the man Steve once called his best friend, stories of the man he was forced to become for Hydra’s purposes. Steve never really liked talking about Bucky, and you never really asked him to, because you were all too aware of what digging up old memories felt like, and the kind of damage they did.
Nonetheless, even as you saw the all too familiar airplane dip low in the sky overhead, nose angled toward the landing strip, a strange sense of anticipation flooded you. It was not exactly something you could explain, though, not as the jet touched down, not as the doors opened and you saw the familiar brown leather of Steve’s aviator jacket, or the black of Natasha’s.
They stood on either side of the doors, and even from the distance, you didn’t miss the way Natasha’s fingers ghosted over the gun strapped into the holster at her hip.
And then out stepped the man they had gone through so much trouble to fetch; the man Steve had pulled countless strings to get pardoned.
He had his back to you as he stepped out of the jet slowly, like he didn’t trust his own two feet. The wind caught his hair, blowing it away from his face. Dressed in a long-sleeved red shirt and dark jeans, gloves on both his hands even though it wasn’t at all cold outside.
To hide his arm, Steve had told you last week, sliding a picture of the new vibranium limb King T’Challa and the Wakandians had been kind enough to make for him. You had wondered why he would ever feel the need to hide something so beautiful.
Bucky rolled his shoulders, his movements blurred around the edges at the distance, but unmistakable nonetheless, especially as he tuned around. And even though you couldn’t make out where his gaze landed exactly, you had the peculiar feeling he was looking at right you before Steve touched his arm to reclaim his attention.
You could feel your heart thundering in your chest as they walked inside. Closing your eyes, you rested your head back against the wall, rubbing a hand over your sternum to try and ease some of that inexplicable tightness in your chest, your watch lighting up with the movement of your arm.
The tiny screen read at a hundred and two.
In his dreams, the monsters were real.
Not the kind he used to be so afraid of as a child. Not the ones with wings and fangs and claws. Bucky’s monsters were men in masks with blood caked underneath their fingernails.
And beneath those masks, Bucky knew they all looked like him.
They’d taken him to the medbay as soon as he got off that jet. Routine check-up, Steve reassured him. But Doctor Cho insisted he spend the night there anyway. So she could keep him ‘under observation.’
Bucky knew what that meant. It meant they were trying to ascertain whether or not he was likely to go on a killing spree.
Nevertheless, he stretched out on the bed, tugging the covers over his chin and trying his best to fall asleep. The plush mattresses didn’t particularly help matters, not when he was so used to sleeping on through cold hard floors of the cells they kept him locked in, but eventually, he sank into a fitful slumber.
That first night was hell.
Nightmares plagued his sleep, dark and twisted memories of his past pushed so deep into the cervices of his mind that they bled wicked and cruel into the reprise of his sleep, too loud to be ignored. They were shadows lingering at the edge of his vision all day long, but it was at night when they sneered at him, when they clawed at his ribs, threatening to turn him inside out, when the sound of the machine clicking into place turned his teeth to rubber and his killer’s hands shook.
The worst part? Sometimes, it happened when he was awake.
It used to happen a lot more in Bucharest, back when he was living all alone, when he had nothing and no one that could bring him back if he ever lost control again. The sound of a drill outside, or a car backfiring. The revving of a sports bike. The screech of tires on the asphalt.
The memories came in flashes, in bits and pieces of the man—the thing—they had forced him to become. Images of the blood pooling on the floor, lifeless eyes staring up at him, mouths frozen in please of please, no, I swear I don’t know anything, please—
He woke up with a gasp, chest heaving, heart thundering in his chest. Fists clenching the sheets, he inhaled lungfuls of air, staring up at the darkness that shrouded everything in the room.
Bucky turned his face into the pillow, waiting for the tears to come. But they never did, instead choking him with their salt-seared flames in his throat, hot and brittle and edged with the beginnings of a scream he couldn’t let out, not in this building full of fucking superheroes who were all too used to saving innocent people—not when he wasn’t innocent. Not when he definitely couldn’t be saved.
“James?” he heard an unfamiliar voice call. Soft, so soft, especially after the cruel sound of the machine in his dreams. Despite the foreign voice, he let the sound of his name wash over his senses—the name he had almost forgotten was attached to him because it had been so many years since someone called him James.
“James,” the voice called again, closer this time. He wanted to look, to turn his head around and lay his eyes on you. “Are you okay? Do you—Do you need me to get you something?”
Concern. Genuine concern lined your voice, accompanied by something he couldn’t quite place and wasn’t sure he had a word for.
Concern. Not pity, definitely not fear.
He turned to look at you then.
Bucky didn’t know it then, but if you asked him now, he would tell you that that was the first time in a hundred years he understood what peace felt like. It wasn’t something you said, or something you did—it wasn’t even the way you looked, in a threadbare t-shirt and worn out shorts, your hair in tangles, and your lips parted just the slightest.
It was just the fact that you were there. That he hadn’t woken up alone for first time since God knows when. That—That you had stayed, even when none of the others had.
Not when he was sure you knew who he was, knew what he was, and chose to stick around anyway.
“’m fine,” he said, gravel lining his voice.
He heard you exhale. It was clear that you didn't believe him, but you weren't about to push. “Okay. Okay, good.”
When he didn’t volunteer any more information, you said, “I’m y/n.”
The name suited you, he thought. He liked the way it rolled off his tongue as he said, “What are you doing here, y/n?”
In the darkness, he could make out the way you lifted one shoulder and dropped it in a shrug. “Well, I couldn’t possibly leave you alone, now, could I? Its your first night here—a new, unfamiliar place. Figured you could use a friend.”
“And your go-to strategy for making friends is watchin’ them sleep?”
You huffed. “No, smart-ass. I actually wanted to come see you when you arrived, but Steve is an ass and wouldn’t let me, and by the time he went to bed, the lights were already out down here and you were asleep, so I figured I’d sleep on the couch here just in case you needed anything.”
In case he needed anything.
If only Bucky knew exactly what it was he needed to fill that hole in his chest.
“Well, I need sleep,” he murmured, turning his body away from you. “And so do you. So go to bed, y/n.”
“Alright. I’ll probably be gone before you wake up in the morning, but if you need anything at all during the night, I’m right here, okay, Bucky?”
He didn’t respond, not until he was sure you were out of earshot. Then, more to himself than to anybody else, he whispered, “Okay, y/n.”
And when he fell back asleep that night, he dreamt of you.
He was still in the medbay when they brought you in the next afternoon.
Reclined on the stretcher, you lay back, a lazy grin on your face despite the long, bloody gash running down your leg. The material of your jeans was soaked in blood, rolled up to your knee. Minor scraps and bruises covered nearly every exposed inch of your skin, but none of that seemed to faze you, not as you touched a hand to your brow, flicking your wrist toward him in a two-fingered salute. “Howdy, partner.”
“What the hell happened?”
“Fight broke out downtown. I’d gone down there to get you breakfast, actually. Which—” you paused, patting around the side of the stretcher until your fingers wrapped around a ripped paper bag. “—Is right here.”
He grabbed the bag from your hands. It was soaked in coffee, ripped almost to nothing. And inside sat a single slice of bacon sandwich, the bread soggy from all the coffee that had spilled on it. Bucky frowned, giving you a blank stare. “I’m not eatin’ that.”
You only shrugged as the nurses flooded into the room, enveloping you in a crowd of white lab coats. “Your loss, Barnes.”
But as you disappeared from his line of vision, Bucky glanced back down at the coffee-soaked sandwich in his hands. You’d gotten him breakfast.
A small kindness. He still believed it was far more than he deserved.
Bucky soon realized he liked being around you.
It was the way you never failed to make him laugh, maybe. Or the small feats of kindness that seemed to come so effortlessly to you, like making coffee for the whole team every morning, or keeping track of where Thor left his hammer, or what Peter’s latest hyperfixation was. Or maybe it was the Hozier song he heard drifting through the walls that separated your room from his in the middle of the night, or how you unknowingly sang him to sleep when you hummed along to the music.
The team stared to notice it too—the smile on his face when he was around you, or how he fiddled with everything in his reach when you weren’t. How he often rested his head against your shoulder during movie nights with the Avengers, and how the tightness eased from his muscles when you carded your hands through his hair, winding a strand around your finger. How his fingers slipped through yours early in the morning when he walked into the kitchen, cold metal against flesh, and the whispered exchanges of, “Okay, Bucky?” followed by his, “Okay, y/n.”
On the nights he couldn’t fall asleep no matter what he tried, Bucky tiptoed into your room. You’d learnt to listen for that timid, almost hesitant knocking on your door, to call out to him to come on in. He would sit on the edge of your bed, leaning back against your headboard, letting the sound of your voice wash over him as you read out loud to him until he fell asleep.
He always woke up with a pillow under his head and your hand around his metal arm on the mornings that followed.
You didn’t know what you were expecting when you walked into Bucky’s room that night, but it sure wasn’t this.
You’d been worried when he had come home from his first mission, looking so shaken up he could barely keep his eyes on you. He’d refused to check into the medbay, instead barging down the stairs and into his room.
No one had seen him since.
You figured you’d give him some time to himself before you went to check in on him. It was his first mission after all, and God knows what memories being out on the field brought back for him.
But when you found him staring at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, hands clutching the sink in a white-knuckled grip, you didn’t know what to say. Not as you took in the scissors lying listlessly on the counter, or the strands of hair littering the bathroom floor.
He met your gaze in the mirror. Bucky’s eyes looked more grey than blue at that moment, clouded over with the storms of his past, memories he had tried so hard to let go of. “I’m sorry. I just— I—"
You were in front of him in three long strides, grabbing the scissors off the floor. You didn’t need to say anything, not as you angled his head away from you and began to even out the strands he’d missed at the back. Bucky was shaking—you could feel the tremors rocking his bones against your hands, but you held him steady. If this was one of his hells, you would burn with him.
It didn’t take you long to finish fixing his hair. Bucky sank to the floor, your arms wrapped around him, clutching him to your stomach as he buried his face into your shirt. It was a fluid gesture, all too familiar even though you were sure you had never held him this close to you before.
“There were hostages. They thought—They saw me and they thought I was the Soldier. That I was still him and when I tried to rescue them, they refused to come with me.” Bucky’s voice cracked, and he buried his nose deeper into your shirt. “I couldn’t save them, y/n. Russo’s men—they killed them all.”
“I had to do it. Every time I look in the mirror, I see him. Every time I catch my own reflection, it reminds me of the things I did for Hydra. It reminds me of the man I used to me. I can’t be him anymore, y/n. I’m not him anymore.”
“Bucky,” you said fiercely, sinking to the floor right in front of him. His knees brushed your as you pressed both palms against his cheeks, cupping his face and forcing his eyes to meet yours. “You’re not him. You’re not. What you were, the things they made you do—that was not your fault. You’re not the Soldier. You’re Bucky Barnes, dammit. You’re Bucky. My Bucky.”
“Your Bucky,” he murmured, hands sliding up yours and wrapping around your wrists. He liked the sound of that, especially when he noticed the way your eyes fluttered shut when he rested his forehead against yours. He didn’t kiss you—not really, not in the way people usually do. But his lips brushed yours, soft and far more intimate than any true love’s kiss, and you exhaled, feeling the corner of his mouth tilt upwards. “Okay, Buck?”
But he was far more than okay. He was happy, and maybe, just maybe—maybe he deserved to be.
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TO ME YOU MEAN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE
Summary: For the first time you feel like you have finally found home and most importantly someone who sees you for who you are.
Author’s note: So, this might hit too close to home for some of you because daddy issues and whatnot. If you’re going through anything abusive in any kind of relationship and need to vent feel free to dm me. I hope this can bring comfort to all of you. And Reblogs and comments are appreciated.
Pairings: Bucky x reader(any race)
Word count: 2.2k+
Warnings:( tw) daddy issues like a literal monster of a father,angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, toxic father.
DO NOT PLAGIARISE, TRANSLATE OR DO ANY OF THAT CHEAP SHIT.
“Love, do we need to buy more syrup?” Bucky asks, holding up a bottle of syrup and the shopping basket in the other.
“Oh yeah, we do. Thanks for remembering, Jamie.” You say giving him a kiss on his cheek, where you felt heat rise up under your lips. This big hunk of a man was the most adorable being to exist, you could swear on that with your whole life. He gives you a boyish grin as he drops the bottle into the basket and takes your hand.
It was mornings like these filled with domesticity that you always looked forward to with Bucky. It made both of you feel normal and grounded.
Growing up around people who never seemed to care for what you wanted and always taught you to never speak your mind was not the best to say the least. For years you never got a taste of freedom, independence or even the feeling that you are enough. Que the entry of Bucky Barnes into your life like the hopeful ray of sunshine after years and years of storm and rain. Clearly this man did not understand how much he flipped your world upside down. How he made you feel like you could actually breathe. He always insisted that you were the miracle in his life, the one who pulled him out of an abyss of sorrow and hopelessness. Both of you were right. Both of you were absolute blessings in each other’s life. The two of you met at a time where you as well as him were lost. But, with each passing year, both of you fixed each other and gave all the love and affection to compensate for all the years neither of you had received any and in the process you and Bucky fixed yourselves too. Neither of you were showing any signs of letting go of the other ever. Long story short, life was a blissful dream when you both had each other in your lives.
You stand back in the women’s hygiene aisle as you watch your boyfriend grab a box of tampons/pads/menstrual cups for you from the top shelf.
“ Here we go. Now I don't have to rush out of our house to get you these.” Bucky says, his eyes softening and heart fluttering at the breathy laugh that left your mouth.
“ Don't be so sure about that. Now I'm just going to make up excuses just to see you rush out of our house.” You say giving him a playful jab on his side with your elbows to which he smiled an eye-crinkling smile and kissed the top of your head.
His life was good. The best. He doesn't remember the last time he felt so satisfied with everything going on in his life. Bucky Barnes was finally learning to live his life to the fullest all because of his angel. His (Y/N). He yearned for those soft touches on his skin, the way you kiss the tip of his nose, the way you would curl up in his lap and snuggle into his chest. Unlike all the times before, you made him feel wanted for good reasons. He was well aware of everything that you had gone through since your childhood. Even before you told him about it, he could make out from your need of constant validation, attention and assurance that you were enough. He went out of his way every single day since he met you to make you see and realize how much you mean to him, how amazing and otherworldly you are. He hated that you thought so low of yourself but, he hated your father the most for making you feel this way.
The moment you told him everything and how you were brought up and the effect that kind of upbringing had on you, he wanted to do nothing more than make your father regret acting the way he acted towards his angel. But, he couldn't do that . You were finally at peace, enjoying your life with your man and was starting to see your worth. He didn't want to ruin that and bring more mayhem into your life. He knew he would get a chance to give your father a piece of his mind. He just had to wait for it. Even with your insecurities, in his eyes you were the strongest person he has ever come across. Handling him wasn't the easiest task, he knew that way too well. But then, there you were not even considering it to be a task or job and loving him just because you could and wanted to. You were so strong and brave for opening up to him, letting him help you, for being so patient with him and never giving up on him. There was nothing either of you wouldn’t do for each other and in the end that's all that mattered.
“ We have bought everything we need, right? Is there anything left?” Bucky asks with a soft smile that never fails to make butterflies erupt in your tummy.
“ Yeah we've got everything we need, Jamie.” You say returning the same smile before walking towards the billing counter with his hand in yours.
“ (Y/N), my sweet girl, it's been so long since I’ve seen you.” That voice made you stop in your tracks, eyes widened and fear took over your body. It was a completely normal response to that voice. You turn around, hand clenching Buck’s as you face your father who was right in front of you.
Bucky’s blood boiled at the sight of him, already ready to lurch at him and knock him out but his girl needed him by his side right now.
“ Father. Good seeing you here.” The fear in your voice made Bucky’s heart throb but he was so proud of you for staying strong. You were talking to him like how one would with a stranger where they would put on a formal behaviour to please the person and no one deserved to talk to their own father like they were someone they weren't. No one deserves to feel the need to hide their real self due to the fear of not pleasing their father.
“ Aren't you going to give your dad a hug?” He asks, almost like he was mocking you. You walk over to give him a quick hesitant hug while Bucky never lets your hand out of his.
“ New boytoy, huh? What was the other one's name? Trevor? Bet you drained all of his money.” There it was , the insulting. Before you could respond, Bucky already had him pinned against the nearest wall. If you weren't so traumatized by your father, you would have felt scared for him.
“ Don't ever speak about my girl like that ever again and stay the fuck out of her life if you know whats good for you.” Bucky says through gritted teeth, the veins in his neck bulging and his chest heaving with rage. People have already started to gather around watching the whole scene unfold and the last thing you wanted was videos of The Winter Soldier beating up someone.
“ Boy, if you know what's good for you, you’ll leave her or she’s going to end up leaving you when she has finished using you and realize that you have nothing more to give her. And I’ll gladly stay out of her life. I have more interesting things to do than wanting to know what goes on in a whore’s life.” Bucky snapped at the words that left your father’s mouth and within seconds he was punching him at a rapid pace and you knew if you didn't stop him it was going to end up bad.
“ Bucky stop. Please let's go home.” You beg but he was too caught up in trying to make your father regret his words. People had their phones out and were filming now and you were terrified of the world seeing what was happening without any context.
“ Hey, what's happening here?” You turn around and see two security guards hurrying towards Bucky. Oh God no.
“ Stay back, mister. Stop this right now.” One of them shouts as they try to pull him away from your father who falls to the ground clutching his now unrecognisable.
“ STAY AWAY FROM HER, I MEAN IT.” With that Bucky lets himself free from the guards’ grips and takes your hand as the two of you walk out of the store.
The ride back home was quiet and tense. You could still feel the anger radiating off of him and the best thing to do would be to give him some time to cool off. Bucky on the other hand was not sorry about beating your father up. He deserved it. What he was terrified of was the thought that maybe he had scared you by his violent actions. What if he reminded you of your father? What if you no longer wanted to be with someone who could get so violent? Or worse, what if you thought he would behave so violently towards you? Bucky’s mind was racing with these terrifying thoughts.
By the time the two of you reached home, you were asleep on your seat .
"Sweetheart, wake up, we're home." Bucky says gently caressing your cheek. Your eyes flutter open, a small groan leaving your lips which earned a chuckle from Bucky. He gets out of the car and walks towards your side, opening the door for you as you climb out, immediately wrapping your arms around his left one, pressing your cheek against his upper arm, not letting go throughout the whole walk towards your apartment. The gesture made Bucky's heart expand as he let out a sigh of relief after giving you a soft smile.
The moment both of you entered the apartment, you dragged him to the bathroom to clean up the cuts on his face. Silently pull the necessary items from the cabinets, you hop onto the sink counter and pull him to stand between your legs. Before you could start cleaning up his face, he takes your hands in his and rests his forehead on yours, his eyes closed as well as yours.
“ I’m not sorry for beating him up.” He says, emitting a breathy laugh from you and to say he was relieved hearing the casual sound would be an understatement.
“ I wouldn't be sorry either so don’t worry.” You say, with your eyes still closed and this time it was his chance to release a chuckle.
“ Why are you with me , Jamie? What makes you so sure that I wouldn't do what he told you I would?” You ask, genuinely wanting to know the answer. All these years you were doing so good not letting your father get into your head, but he had to show up and ruin everything like always.
“Sweetheart.” He sighed before continuing, “ You listen to me okay? Do not let him get inside your head. Don't give him what he wants (Y/N), he doesn't deserve that kind of satisfaction. And I know that everything he told is not true because I know my angel for who she is unlike him. My angel is the best thing that has ever happened to me, the best thing to ever exist on this planet. So, don't you dare question your worth because of him. Promise me that.” He says, boring those gorgeous eyes filled with so much love and adoration into yours. You have no idea what huge deed you have done in your life to ever deserve him but you're not complaining either. He brings his lips to yours, kissing you with so much passion, that you can feel his love for you radiating off of him, enveloping you completely as his arms wrap around your body , holding you so preciously and fuck you havent felt so bloody special ever in your life.
“ You know what? Let's go on a vacation. A road trip.” Bucky suggests, breathless from the intimate moment. This pulls an amused laugh from you.
“ Aroad trip? Really?” You ask, your voice filled with excitement and Bucky can't help but give you a kiss on your forehead as he hears the excitement in your voice.
“ Yes, really.”
“ Right now?”
“ Right now.”
“ We gotta pack. Race you to our room." He says right before bolting out, chuckling and you follow him, ' you little shit' said under your breath, both of your laughter filling the whole house.
You were happy. You were content and as long as you had your man by your side there's nothing that would change that. Shitty fathers be damned .
A/n(2): again I would love some feedback/comments so that I know what I should be working on
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How would any of the buckys react to you having sore breasts amd nipples because of your period?
Im one of those people who has theirs for 7 day with cramps
Spain without the s😭
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40s!Bucky thought he knew the ins and outs of periods. He learned a lot from his mom and Rebecca and, after he began dating you, he realized just how awful having a period can be. So, he was always very gentle with you and made sure that you got everything you could've needed when that time of the month rolled around. You needed him to give you a massage to distract from the cramps? He would drop whatever he was doing to make it happen. You were craving a specific food? He'd make it for you himself. You just wanted to cuddle with him? Any plans you had were cancelled just so he could hold you.
It wasn't until he married you that he realized just how much pain you experienced. He wasn't ignorant, of course, he was just misinformed. When he learned that you have sore boobs and nipples on top of cramps, he was convinced that having a uterus was a form of torture. If you thought he was doting before, he treats you like a goddamn princess. He won’t let you lift a single finger, does everything around the house so you don’t even have to get out of bed or leave your pajamas.
WS!Bucky thinks Hydra is torturing you when he finds out that your boobs get sore during your period. Hell, he probably thinks your period in general is another form of torture from Hydra. He absolutely won’t let anyone get near you. Unless you have to go to the bathroom, you spend the entirety of your period in his arms as he tries to make you feel better in every little way possible.
He knows a bit more about periods compared to WS!Bucky, since he’s slowly getting his memories back. In the beginning, he wasn’t as helpful as he would’ve liked to be. But the longer the two of you were together, the better he got. He learned to keep pain killers ready for you, to get you a warm compress when your boobs were particularly sore.
Bucky's favorite part of the future, perhaps, had to be the fact that there was a lot more information out there that he could use to help you. He definitely consults all sorts of medical websites to find ways to help you manage your pain. One time, you found him hunched over his notebook, scribbling furiously as he read a website titled “7 Ways to Manage Premenstrual Breast Pain”.
He always has a full stock of things to make you feel better when your period starts. He has pads, tampons, menstrual cups—literally every option. He has full bottles of pain killers. He has a heating pad. He has all your favorite blankets, and pajamas, and comfort movies, and snack foods. He blocks out his entire week to make sure that he wait on you hand and foot and that you’re treated like an absolute princess.
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My Assassin- Bucky Barnes x Reader
( a lot of you guys have requested shang-chi and sadly, i was grounded and I didn't get to see it in theaters but don't worry, i shall use illegal websites )
warnings: some bad language, fights, john (gross), blood
word count: 968
requested: nope, just felt like getting back in the groove
summary: during the fight with john for the shield, bucky gets worried about you and your ability to handle yourself. turns out, you can do just fine.
(takes place during falcon and the winter soldier)
Ever since John Mother-fucking Walker talked to Bucky on the car and eyed you up, he was on his shit list. I mean, he already was but he just amplified it, like times 5. Now, every time John talks to you, he seems to think that he has the right to look at you like a piece of meat in a corner store he walked past on the way there. If Bucky wasn't in therapy, he would pull another winter solider and blast that ass to the moon and let Steve deal with him.
The first time John verbally hit on you, you gagged. Sam looked at Bucky and had to literally hold him back from beating the last living breath out of John.
The feeling escalated and the more crazier John got. Like, beating a guy to death with the shield in front of millions of people. That was the last straw. You guys were gonna get that shield back.
The fight wasn't even a fight at all at first. The two were trying to talk some sense into john but he wasn't budging. That's when it got physical. John started it and was cheating for a hot minute.
You just stayed on sidelines and let the two do their jobs. That was until the shield literally slid right to your feet. You remembered the first time Steve had let you throw his shield and how empowering it felt. You picked it up and saw John, nose dripping with blood, coming your way. Bucky grabbed his leg and pulled him down. "Leave her out of this, Walker!" He yelled and proceeded to punch him in the face with his metal arm. It didn't seem to faze John much and after almost throwing Bucky across the room, he stalked towards you. "Come on, y/n, you're a pretty, smart, girl. Give it to me." You looked down at the shield and at him. "Over my dead body." You scoffed. He raised his eyebrows in anger. "You're choice. We've could've been a power couple." He ran at you and made a move to punch you in the face but you ducked it and slid your leg out under his, knocking him off his balance. You proceeded to block a majority of his punches. You'd admit, he did get a good few. Your brain then clicked back into your red room training. Where you were born to kill. With nothing but your hands. "You should never learn to mess with an assassins with a kill count of 609." You ran over to him and jumped on his head, doing the infamous Natasha thigh take down. He managed to loosen up his leg and kicked you clear across the room. Bucky shot up and ran to go beat him up but Sam stopped him. "Hold on, i have a feeling she's gonna win."
You did the super hero pose and when john came running to you, you took the shield and chucked it at him sending him flying backwards. You ran after him and grabbed the shield out of the wall. He picked up a pipe and swung it at you. You, of course, saw that coming and grabbed the pipe and kicked him where the sun doesn't shine. He proceeded to, while down, grab a knife bucky dropped and cut your cheek open. You turned to him, placing your hand on your cheek and staining your hand with the blood, and smirked at him. "Oh John, that was terrible." He got up and continued fighting with you, even though it was very clear he was loosing. Bucky and Sam were watching from the sides. "Looking strong John!" Bucky called out, smirking at him.
John, for some odd reason, had managed to get the upper hand on you and had his hands on your throat, chocking you. You grabbed a fistful of his hair and slammed his nose into the back of your head. He screamed and stopped chocking you to hold his bleeding nose. You grabbed his hair again and slammed his head into the concrete not once, or twice, but three times.
Sam walked over and put his hand on his neck. "Still has a pulse, surprisingly." You scoffed, while rubbing your injured neck and wiping your bloodied nose. "Wish he wasn't." Bucky walked over, well more like ran over, and did the infamous check up he always did to you after every battle. "Are you ok? That was so badass! Where did you learn to fight like that?" You looked up at him. "The red room. Me and Natasha were actually there around the same time and we escaped together." Bucky smiled. "My doll is a badass." You smirked. "You know, shield considers me more dangerous than Natasha. It's mostly because i won't hesitate to kill. I'm surprised I didn't kill him." You picked up the shield and the three of you walked out. You stopped for a second to turn to look at John. You smirked and flung some of your nose blood at him. "Go to hell, Walker."
a/n: i actually love this one omg. ok, i'm gonna update more frequently now :)
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𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲 ☆ 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬
pairings -> dad!bucky x nanny!reader
Bucky Barnes has it all, an amazing wife, two beautiful daughters and a couple of businesses on his name yet somethings missing, something his nanny might be able to give but Bucky finds himself spiraling down a road that could ruin it all.
a/n -> look who finally decided to update after 100 years with a chapter she isn't really sure she likes. Also let me know if you'd like to see some smut in this series because idk
wordcount -> 2.3k+
warnings -> cheating, mentions/allusions of sex, kids.
The sun burns on your skin, a layer of sweat coating your forehead and you know the sunscreen isn't going to help just a bit. The humidity makes even the biggest of shirts skin tight, stuck to every curve of your body.The gravel that slips through your sandals and stick to the sole of your bare feet hurts but more so annoys, tapping your toes against the street in an attempt to lose them. The slow moving herd of people all around being the cherry on top but the lingering hand on your back or soft tap against your ass once in a while is a welcome surprise every time.
You wonder is it's as weird for Bucky as it is for you when he touches you the way he does while his wife and daughters are a few market stalls apart or if she hears the sweet nothings he whispers in your ear or you soft giggles whenever he tries to push you in the nearest overcrowded stall to steal a kiss and you wonder if daisy noticed the slight change in yours and Bucky's friendship, maybe noticed the way the bed was made differently, did the air still smell like sex or did the pillows smell like you?
You're convinced she has to know something, know anything at all, Daisy always knew everything, always finding things out like she wanted to be promoted to detective, a living and breathing gossip blog.
You'd felt awful and disgusted by your action when daisy and the girls walked back into the holiday home, acting like you didn't had mind-blowing sex with her husband moments before and prayed to the gods she wouldn't notice the way you had trouble to walk normally– feeling awful and disgusted till the late midnight hours, your feeling for Bucky were real, a silly crush you had gotten over awakened when he spilled his own feeling and attraction to you and in that moment you'd forgotten about daisy, forgotten about your job and the way you could loose it, all that was on your mind was bucky.
Or maybe it was the thrill that made it all more fun, the possibility of getting caught, sneaking around like love sick teenagers.
Bucky didn't make it a secret, at least not to you, he wanted you as bad as you wanted him. Sexual and emotional; the two of you'd talked about nothing and everything late at night when everyone was fast asleep or shared some secrets over texts.
Wrong in so many ways but oh so right.
Firmly laying both his hands on your hips, bucky squeezes them, body pressed close to your back as he casually leads you into a market stalls, a kiss placed on the back of your neck once he knows the two if you are out of sight and hidden behind racks of clothing.
Not wanting to draw too much attention, you start to look through the colorful dresses in front of you, eyes peeled to make sure Daisy or one of the girls wouldn't show up. You smile as you feel his stubble tickle the skin of your neck, a kiss against your ear and feel his hot breath against your face.
"Have to come up with an excuse." Bucky's voice is low, a whisper, almost inaudible but loud enough for you to hear.
"For what?" You mumble back curiously.
"An excuse to have you all for myself tonight?"
Your stomach somersaults, butterflies arising but your heart stops, this was actually real, you're making up excuses to be with each other.
"Do what we did two days ago, really enjoyed that."
"I'm not having sex with you while daisy and the girls are in the house." You mumble again
"Exactly why we need an excuse to get out of the house."
You snort "And then, have sex in the nearest public restroom, way to catch a STD."
Bucky groans and let's go of you as he stands up straight and runs a hand over his face in frustration "you have a better idea?"
You shrug, you really don't know.
This is the first time and you never, not in a hundred years thought to end up in a secret affair with a married man, a man you work for– is it the first time for Bucky too or did he have girls on the side many times before?
And how do the others do it, how do all these people living double lives hide it from their partner?
You suppose, if you're able to keep yourself quiet, sex with the man while his wife is fast asleep could work out but you weren't able to keep quiet last time and what if daisy wakes up or worse his daughters? Maybe a public restroom had to do, should you wait until you're back in New York or maybe you should stop this madness before it turns into something serious.
What have you done? Risking your friendship, risking your job and a broken heart in the end– gosh and your friend group are going to lose their mind if they find out. How could you be so stupid?
But you can't stop this, you've got a taste of the men you'd thought of late at night, inappropriate thoughts while his wife and kids sat at the dining table during dinner or thought of him instead of the random guy you slept with, you'd gotten addicted to his touch and words after just one time, dipped into something exciting.
"There you are!"
It's Daisy's voice that snaps you back to reality and for a split second your stomach drops but soon realize Bucky had made his way to the rack with childrens clothing a few feet away.
"Thought we'd lost you guys."
Meeting her eyes, you flash daisy a smile and watch how she pushes the stroller with the youngest barnes through the small paths in between the racks and makes her way towards you.
With heavy eyelid, rosy cheeks and two dark blonde pigtails stuck to the sides of her face, the two year old toddler Luna is fast asleep, yellow summer dress wrinkled and the arm of her stuffed monkey still tight in her hands; you'd watched Luna grow up, been by Daisy's side through the pregnancy and helped her out the first few weeks after birth– teached Luna how to speak, learned her to walk.
And jumping into Bucky's arms, her blonde hair you'd put in a braid that morning now messy, pink sunglasses on her nose, a sleeve of fake glitter tattoos on her right arm and a purple over the shoulder bag matching her purple dress, the six year old, Lola, mumbles something in Bucky's ear, something neither you or daisy can hear.
It's a walk in the park, being the nanny over these two. Probably the easiest kids you'd nannies for from all the families you'd worked with. Calm with a dash of wild, sassy and fun and maybe they both match your energy to make it all easier– their teacher, cook, babysitter, best friends and personal jungle gym.
"We'd lost you guys," Bucky speaks up a lie "figured we'd stay here in case you girls came back."
"No wonder, it's incredibly busy right now." Daisy complains .
You keep quiet as you zone in and out your own daydream, aimlessly flicking through the clothes and half listening to daisy and bucky, it's still weird to be around daisy and initiating a talk while replaying your afternoon with bucky all tangled up in the sheets in your head.
With three pairs of eyes burning in your skin, you look at daisy and simply nod "Yeah, it's just incredibly hot right now–"
"Tell me about it," daisy cuts you off "we should head home, take a dip in the pool–"
"Get an ice cream on our way back?" Bucky asks, wiggling his brows at the girl in his arms who gasps loudly.
"Yes, like the one we had yesterday!"
Is he lonely?
The thought popped up in your mind that afternoon as you watched and heard Daisy make plans with the girls and you. Girl nights, day dates, shopping sprees and all without him as I he wasn't seated at the same table, as if the man never took that same plane and never arrived at the vacation home.
Has it always been like this or did the shift in your relationship with bucky make you notice the small details about their marriage?
Daisy liked to have girl nights and nights out with her other friends, you've heard stories before, have experienced it before and thinking back to it, those nights happened at least twice a week– you can't even remember the last time Bucky hung out with his friends.
And thinking back to when you first started your job and right here, there definitely was something going on; daisy never stole a kiss before heading out early in the morning, whispered things to one and each other or looked at each other like they do in romance movies but you were never interested in that, it wasn't something you'd put your nose in, not your business.
And you know how it feels to be alone. With a narcissistic alcoholic mother and father unknown, taking care of your drunk mother had been the highlight of your teen years, little to no time for friends– not that anybody wanted to be around you, you were associated with the drunk of the town anyway. You know how it feels.
You felt sorry for agreeing on a day out with Daisy later this week, the thin smile he'd given you making it worse and for a second you regretted everything you had with this man, everything that'd upset him would upset you and possibly hurt your heart a little each time.
The house is silent with everyone fast asleep after an eventful day in the burning sun, all passed out in the early evening. The light from the full moon illuminates the place. With your bare feet against the cool tiled floor, you pad your way to the kitchen to get yourself a refreshing drink. Grabbing a glass from the cabinet, you open the fridge and grab the first carton in reach, apple juice. You pour your glass full, put it back and close the fridge with your foot as you empty your glass in one go.
Man, if you could just fall asleep in front of the fridge instead of the room with the ac who only seemed to work whoever it wanted, leaving your room a sauna every night.
Setting your glass back on the counter and ready to pad back to your room, the blue light from outside catches your attention. A tuft of hair peeking above the back of the sunbed and a lonely bottle of beer standing on the ground.
Walking back to the fridge, you open it again to grab a cold beer out of it before closing it and as you uncap the bottle you walk towards the backyard and slip through the crack of the sliding doors. Standing still just a couple inches behind him, you watch him scroll through his phone.
You clear your throat to make clear you're there and take a few steps further to hand him the bottle of beer which he takes with the biggest smile you'd ever seen on him before.
"Shouldn't you be asleep?"
"Shouldn't you be asleep?" You question back
Bucky chuckles softly, takes a swing of his beer and sets it down on the ground next to him "had a certain someone on my mind."
"No one's worth losing sleep over."
"Trust me, this one is."
Wordlessly bucky gets a hold of your hand and pulls you closer and guides you to sit on his lap. As you wrap your hand around his neck, his hand travels under your tank top and rests on your back and the silence that follows is nice, comfortable and weirdly familiar, like a warm blanket on a cold winter's day. Despite the darkness, the moon shines bright enough to show a spark of blue in his eyes, the eyes you continued to drown in every time they looked into your soul.
"Mind if I steal a kiss?"
"Steal a kiss?"
Licking his lips in anticipation, Bucky hums in response "been dying to kiss those lips for days."
"Oh I know," you snort "you've let that know today."
Bucky grins, his hand moving from your back to your side and pulls you into his body even closer.
"Just one little kiss."
He doesn't have to ask twice, you were dying too to kiss him, taste his lips and inhale his scent after two long days without.
As you dip your head down, you meet halfway, big smiles as your lips meet in an overdue, passionate and breathtaking kiss full with giggles, smiles and whispered little nothing, just the two of you enjoying each other and forgetting the world for a while– it's not sexual in any way, something you had expected after the relentless teasing throughout the day, instead it's something else, something sweet, something that's got your mind spinning, stomach churning and heart beating faster.
Bucky leaves a kiss on the tip of your nose when you pull away and rests his forehead against yours and squeezes your side lightly.
"Maybe we could book a hotel for a weekend when we get back home," Bucky breathes out and searches your face for any doubts or regrets "if you want of course."
"What do you want?"
"You. Us. Whatever this is that's going on, I want that." Bucky states in a matter-of-fact
"Great minds think alike."
Your smile reaches your eyes at the sight of bucky smile, a smile that doesn't fade when he kisses you again.
It's official, an agreement between the both of you; be lonely together.
@Mortallytgoughtfulgurl @capmanranger @mxrvelinhrt @rockstwr13 @bbgem329 @taisOfLightnin @smurfelle @spideyyypeter @fangirlvoice @abschaffer2 @just-that-dumb-bitch
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Part 7: ‘Til It Feels Good
*Please do not plagiarise, copy, or repost anywhere else.
Pairing: 40s!Bucky x Fem!Reader
*18+ only. Minors DNI. If you follow/reblog, please have your age (or an indicator of your age) in your bio.
Summary: A day trip to Conneticut, a row boat, and two horny twenty-somethings... What could possibly go wrong?
Warnings: Smut (dry humping in a boat, yes you read that correctly), fluff and cuteness
I have a 40s!Bucky 'taglist' - follow and turn on notifications to keep updated. (18+ only, please read the rules before following - any blogs without ages will be blocked)
Also read on AO3
“This is perfect.” Bucky sighed, laying against your lap.
You didn’t reply, but simply stroked his hair, loving how relaxed and happy he was, as though he could drift off in the sunshine.
You didn’t want him to fall asleep just yet though, that could wait for the train back to New York. Until then, you needed him to be awake to row you back to shore. You were an independent woman, yes, and could do it yourself, but you just loved watching him row, and the effort he put in to try and impress you, the way his lovely broad shoulders flexed as he moved.
So far, you had come out as the more dominant lover in your little escapades, and it suited both of you perfectly. But that didn’t mean you didn’t let him take charge of the occasional task…
A day trip to Greenwich, Connecticut, to soak up the last of the summer sun. It had been the perfect day. You weren’t sure how long you had spent drifting in that row boat on the lake, but it was absolute bliss.
“Any more strawberries baby?” Bucky murmured, keeping his eyes closed.
“Just a couple more…”
You took one by the stem and dangled it above his mouth, watching as his lips tried to grasp it, the tip of his tongue trying to pull it further towards him. You moved it just out of reach, and he snarled playfully at you.
“Don’t be mean, baby!” He moaned.
“Sorry…” You let him have it this time, lowering it so that he could take it from your hand. His teeth bit into it, sloppily, the juice dripping over his lips.
“Oh, you messy boy.” You cooed, stooping down and giving him an upside-down kiss, tasting the sweet tang of the fruit on his mouth. As you nibbled his top lip, you could hear his breath catch.
He smiled as you pulled away, eyes still closed. “Careful, baby, you’re going to get me all worked up.”
“Well you’ll be in good company.”
“I’ve been worked up since you lay on my lap.”
“Oh, have you?” He opened his eyes then, staring up at you from under his long eyelashes. He sat up slowly and turned, wrapping his arms around your waist. “Would you like your best boy to help you out with that?”
You nodded, leaning back a little more as Bucky enveloped you in his arms. He placed his thigh between your legs, and grinned wickedly.
“I know you like that, baby doll. Come on, use me again. I love watching you grind on my thigh, coming apart…”
As he leaned down and started to bite and suck at the sensitive skin of your neck, the sudden transfer of his weight made the boat jolt.
“Baby…” You gripped your thighs together and held onto the sides of the boat for dear life. “I don’t wanna capsize…”
“Then let’s moor up.” Bucky said with a mischievous grin.
You found a quiet spot under a willow tree, its long drooping branches concealing you somewhat. Not that there were many people around that day, but you didn’t want to risk it.
It was so wrong, but so right.
His kiss was tender, soft… but the frantic movement of his hips as he desperately rubbed his clothed erection against your belly was so wonderfully naughty.
Not that you were acting like a lady in this scenario, oh no. Whimpering and needy, you grabbed his hips and pulled him closer to you as you humped his thigh, the friction against your core coupled with the illicitness of the situation… well, it was delicious.
Hooking your right leg around his, you arched your back and tilted your hips to increase the pressure, using him shamelessly for your own pleasure until your body tensed and you rode him out until you were finished.
“That didn’t take you long…” Bucky observed, breaking the kiss but still keeping his lips close to yours.
“What can I say? You drive me wild.”
Needing no further encouragement, Bucky buried his head in your neck as he grinded his hips against you with even more desperation, chasing his release.
“That’s it, naughty boy. Let it go.” You whispered in his ear, before nibbling the lobe, taking it between your teeth.
“Ah!” Bucky cried out, his body shuddering and back arching as he came. It was enough to rock the boat again. A little too hard this time.
You clung to the sides, managing to hold on, but poor Bucky tumbled headfirst into the shallow water, swearing loudly as he did so.
You did, eventually, come to his rescue, but for a good few minutes, all you could do was laugh until your sides hurt.
Grumpy, naked, and wrapped in the picnic blanket, Bucky looked adorable. His wet hair stuck up in damp spikes as you used your cardigan as a makeshift towel to dry it. All of his clothes were hung out to dry by the riverside.
“Well that was one way to get your clothes off!” You joked.
“And one way to clean me up I guess… I’m never going to live this down, am I?” Bucky groaned. “So horny that I nearly capsized the damn boat, and now I’m like a drowned rat.”
“Your hair will dry quickly enough.” You said, slipping your cardigan back on. “But the clothes might take a little longer. Thank god it’s still summer!”
Still sheltered under the willow’s branches, you took Bucky in your arms and lay back down in the boat as you waited for his things to dry.
“I hope no one steals my pants.” Bucky grumbled, nestling his head into your chest. “They’re good pants.”
“If they do, I’ll chase them down.”
“Promise?” Bucky mumbled against your breast, looking as though he could fall asleep again.
“Promise.” You replied, stroking the back of his neck.
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the bodyguard | part 5
summary: part 5 | the kiss & the regret & the realization | after a phone call ruined the moment you've been so desperately hoping for, you're now being rushed from your apartment and thrown into a situation you weren't quite prepared for.
warnings: 18+ ONLY | smut!!! (IT'S HEREEEEEE; fingering, reader is on the pill, praise kink, pet names, sweet sweet luv making), fluff, angst, mentions of stalker, cuss words, aaaahhhh!!!!
eighteen plus only ~ by choosing to ‘keep reading’, you are agreeing that you are eighteen years old and over. do not interact with this story if you are a minor.
“Y/N, please. Please just trust me.” He whispers as he squeezes your hand and you silently nod before jumping off the couch and packing a small bag.
You quickly pack a bag of necessities and quickly meet James in the hallway and he’s back in his usual bodyguard attire.
“Ready?” He asks and you nod your head.
He quickly ushers you into an unmarked car and he climbs in the back seat with you. Two guys up front hand him a package and he begins to look through it.
“What is that?” You ask and no one answers you.
“Hello? Can someone please tell me the fuck is going —“
“They know where you live. This was just dropped off. It’s pictures of you going to dinner the other night, at dinner, and then pictures of us walking into your building. They followed us back to your apartment. They know where you live, Y/N.”
James looks at you very seriously. You feel your heart sink to the bottom of your stomach and tears forming in your eyes. This whole situation just began to feel very real.
You quickly turn to look out the window to gather yourself. Your breathing begins to pick up and James can tell through the darkness of the car you are scared. He reaches his hand out and grabs yours just like he did a few moments ago in your apartment. You glance down and then over to him. He offers a small smile as he squeezes your hand for reassurance.
You two hold hands for the rest of the car ride. You are taken to a hotel right outside the city. One of the other guys takes you to your room as James meets up with a few other people you assume to be the secret service.
You sit down on the edge of the bed and try to understand what the hell is going on when a knock at your door scares you. You sit there for a few more seconds until a familiar voice speaks out.
You quickly run to the door and open it.
“Hi.” You say as you open the door.
“Hi. Are you okay?” James asks.
You signal for him to come in which he does.
“You’ll be safe here. I promise.” He says as he steps inside just enough for you to close the door.
You nod your head but for some reason, the tears begin to form once more and fall down your cheek.
Something inside him snaps, as he can’t stand to see you like this. He immediately grabs you and pulls you into him, he knows he shouldn’t but he doesn’t care. He knows it’s wrong, but he doesn’t care. He just wants to hold you.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay. I’m going to protect you, doll.” He whispers.
The pet name gives you instant butterflies as you wrap your arms around him and you two hold each other for minutes.
He allows you to softly sob into his chest while he runs his hands up and down your back. You eventually calm yourself down and look up to James.
You weren’t sure if it was the flood of emotions, or his scent, or just the fact you’ve wanted to kiss him since you saw him.
You pull him down into you and he doesn’t hesitate as he brings his lips to yours. The kiss is slow. His lips feel like they look, soft. His hands find your hips as you slip your tongue into his mouth. You slowly back him into the wall and he moans slightly as you push him up against it.
“Doll —“ he begins.
“James. Just — just kiss me.” You demand.
He does just that. He now controls the kiss with his tongue and dominates your mouth. Your hands move to his jacket and begin to push it off. You realize that this isn’t a good idea but you don’t care. You just want him.
“Doll, I want to do this. Oh god, do I want to do this…but,” he says as he pulls away.
“But what?” You ask as you furrow your brows.
“You’ve had a long day. You’re stressed. You’re emotional. I don’t want to be something you regret in the morning.”
His words are like daggers. You can’t imagine why on earth he would think you’d regret spending a night with him but you knew he was right. This wasn’t appropriate.
He’s your bodyguard. He’s supposed to protect you. Not fuck you.
“Jesus, James, I’m sorry.” You say as you walk further into your room.
“No, please. Don’t apologize.” He begs.
You turn away from him but he grabs ahold of your hand pulling you back into him.
"I like you, and I— I can’t, and I don't know what to do, so just be patient with me?" He pleads.
You stand there amazed he just admitted feelings for you. You feel the same, and you think he knows that but you can't form the words to tell him that. He stands there silently for a few seconds and turns to leave.
“Yes?” He quickly turns to face you.
“Will... will you just stay with me?” Your voice shakes as you’re still scared.
“Of course.” He nods and slips off his jacket.
You climb into bed and he follows you. You turn on your side and he slinks up behind you and wraps his big arm around your stomach, pulling you into him. Your body immediately relaxes with his touch. This man does something to you that no one else has ever been able to do.
Calm you down.
You know you’re in trouble, but you don't care. You like him too much. He holds you close as your eyes begin to flutter shut.
“I like you too and I certainly wouldn’t regret anything with you.” You whisper.
“Go to sleep, doll.” He responds as he pulls you closer, his kisses the top of your head as you slowly drift into sleep.
You wake up the next morning alone. It hits you that you are in a random hotel room and not your comfortable apartment. It also hits you that you tried to have sex with your bodyguard last night.
“Nice,” you quietly berate yourself.
You spend the day in your room. You don’t see or talk to James. You hear from Ron who informs you that you won’t be returning to your apartment anytime soon. You begin to ask about James and where he is but stop yourself. You don’t want him to get in trouble and you don’t want this to be a thing. The next morning you quickly get ready and are met by James in the lobby.
“Good morning.” You say.
Where the fuck have you been? Where were you yesterday? Why didn’t you stay the night?
Are a few of the things you wanted to say but didn’t.
“Morning, ma’am.” He nods.
You whence at the formality leaving his lips. You’ve really fucked up. In the car, you receive a call from Walker. He apologizes about the other night and as you’re staring at James through your tinted sunglasses an idea pops into your head.
“That’s ok, Walker.”
“You know, I missed you on Saturday night. Nothing like a few Saturdays ago...” you give it your best flirty voice.
You glance to see James’s reaction.
Unbothered. He is unbothered.
Walker rambles on and you eventually give up your act. You hang up and sigh silently to yourself. You glance up at James again and he’s smirking.
He knew what you were trying to do.
The next few days you and James barely talk.
Other than greetings and good nights, no serious conversation has been had. This annoys you. You want to talk about the other night and the kiss you shared.
Well, really you want to slam him into a wall and do it again but it doesn’t seem like that’s going to happen anytime soon.
After another day of barely any communication from the man you've slowly become fascinated by... maybe Josh was right and you do have a thing for men you can't have.
You sigh as you walk into your room. It’s late on a Thursday night and you can’t tell if this has been the longest day of your life or the worst. Or both.
You are tired of being in this hotel room. You’re tired of having bodyguards. You’re tired of liking a guy who can’t like you back. You’re tired of him not talking to you.
You begin to pick up your phone and call him to your room and cuss him out for acting like a child but you decide against it. Instead, you decide to drink yourself to sleep.
You flip on some music and turn the volume all the way up. You make yourself a very strong vodka sour and dance along to your music to try and forget about your shitty situation.
The blaring of music and 4 or 5 drinks later prohibits you from hearing your door open and close. You’re dancing around in your hotel living room and almost spill your drink as you turn to see James standing a few feet from you.
“Hi,” he says.
“Oh, Jesus. Hi.”
“Your music is loud.” He states
“What?” You ask and he chuckles.
He walks over and turns the music down and you roll your eyes.
You notice he isn’t in his work clothes so this must be a personal visit.
“Did you come just to turn my music down?” You ask
“I came to see if there was a party I wasn’t invited to.” He sarcastically replies.
“Yeah, there is.”
“Oh? A party for one?” He raises his eyebrow.
“Well it could’ve been a party for two but you haven’t spoken to me all week so, yeah, a party for one.” You finish off your drink and place it down on the table.
He chuckles at you.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.” He nods
“The other night. You said you like me but you can’t. What does that mean? Is this a usual thing for you? Liking the women you protect?”
James smirks. He loves your sass and you’re feeling awfully sassy right now. You cock your head in anticipation of his answer. You knew what you were doing. You just wanted him to play along.
“No, ma’am.” He smiles.
That asshole. You roll your eyes.
“That’s it? Really?” You ask.
“What? What do you want me to say?” He asks as he takes a step into you. This forces you to take a step back.
“I want you to tell me why you can’t like me.”
He takes another step into you.
“I did. It’s against protocol.”
“For the secret service! You aren’t secret service! You’re just some type of bodyguard they hired!” He notices the annoyance in your voice and he snickers once more.
Your butt brushes against the table as James slowly creeps towards you more and more. Eventually, he is standing right before you as he has backed you against the table and you watch as he glances down at your lips and backs up to you.
“I don’t want to get you in trouble.” His voice is so low it sends chills down your back.
“Me? Why would you get me in trouble?”
“I can’t imagine the President would approve of you sleeping with your bodyguard.” He shrugs his shoulders.
“I think the President has better things to worry about than my sex life.” You joke and he lets out a dry laugh.
Silence falls between the two of you and you pray he makes the first move. He stares at you and then at your lips once more.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about the other night.” He whispers.
You feel your heart begin to race.
“I want you so bad. So. Fuckin'. Bad.” He says as he leans in closer. His accent thickens with the expletive.
You feel the wetness already collecting in your underwear as he glides a hand up to your face, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear before cupping your jaw in his giant hand.
“Do you want this?” He asks.
All you can do is nod your head.
“Words, doll.” He whispers.
“Please.” You practically whimper.
He leans in and his kiss is sloppy and wet. Your tongues fighting for dominance which eventually he wins. You moan into him and this immediately makes him hard. You’re so captivated by his kiss that you don’t realize he unzips your skirt and pulls it off with your underwear in one motion. He hoists you up on the table and moves his lips to your neck and begins to unbutton your blouse.
Your heart is practically beating out of your chest. You have been wanting this since the second you saw him.
You whine as he sucks at your sensitive skin.
“Is that your sweet spot, pretty girl?” He teases between kisses
“Ri-right there” you pant as your hands run through his hair.
He pulls your shirt off and now you do the same. You unbutton his shirt and practically rip it off. He’s wearing his bulletproof vest underneath and you stop having no idea what to do with it.
He chuckles as he pulls it off and gently kisses your forehead.
Your hands land on his chest and you’re mesmerized by how fucking built he is.
“God, you’re so fucking beautiful.” You say and he blushes.
“Stop-“ he groans and attempts to kiss you again but you pull away.
“I’m serious. You are so fucking hot, holy shit. This can’t be real life.” You laugh.
He blushes once more. You can tell he isn’t used to these types of compliments. Which amazes you as he seriously is the hottest man you’ve ever seen, let alone been with.
“Thank you.” He whispers.
“You may proceed now,” you say with a smirk as you pull him back into you.
His cold hands land on your knees and he opens up your legs. His hand is quickly on your hot center and your eyes practically roll back in your head.
“Fuck. You’re so wet.” He murmurs.
He begins rubbing your clit with his thumb and pushes one finger inside of you.
“Shit!” You moan and he smirks.
“You okay, sweet girl?” He looks up to check.
“More,” you moan.
He enters another finger and you already feel the knot in your stomach.
“James — Oh… fuck,” you whimper as your head falls onto his chest.
He continues pumping his fingers in and out of you as your thighs begin to shake. Right before you come apart for him he pulls out his fingers and you groan at the loss. You pull away from him to watch as he sucks on the fingers that were inside of you.
“So fucking sweet, can't wait to get another taste.” he hums.
He pulls you off the table and carries you to the bed. He gently places you on the edge and you unbutton his pants and slowly pull them down. He steps out of them and then stops.
"Shit, fuck, I don't have a condom." He curses himself.
"It's fine. It's fine. I'm on the pill." You insist as you begin to palm his cock in the process and he lets out a soft moan.
You look up at him innocently and he is biting down on his lip. As if this man couldn’t get any sexier. He slips off his boxers and pushes you back onto the bed. He kisses you softly and pulls away.
“Are you sure?” He asks, it's so sincere and genuine and if you weren't already soaking the sheets you would be now.
“James, I’ve wanted to do this since the second I saw you.” You remind him of how desperate you’ve been for his touch.
He chuckles at your admission and kisses you once more. You feel one hand glide down your body as then he lifts his cock into you. He slowly guides himself inside of you and you throw your head back with a small whine.
“You’re so tight. Fuck. You feel so good, doll.” He moans into your ear.
He gives you a second to adjust to his length and slowly begins thrusting in and out. Your hands grasp his shoulders as this is the best yet most painful feeling you’ve ever experienced. He sees you grimace and he stops.
“Doll, are you okay?” He questions
“Don’t stop — please, you're just so huge,” you beg and he continues.
You begin moaning his name and this forces him to thrust harder and quicker. He loved the sound of his name leaving his lips.
“You’re so good, baby doll. Fucking shit, I could live right here.” He groans as his thrusts get sloppier.
"James, please, please, I'm so close," you whine.
"Fuck, thought about this every night since I saw you. So fuckin' good for me, doll. So fuckin' perfect." He praises.
He nuzzles his head into your neck and begins sucking as the same spot from earlier. The coil from your stomach quickly returns as this new sensation overcomes your body. As James sucks and hits your spot repeatedly your moans get louder.
“Fuck, James, baby — I’m —“ are the only words you get out between pants.
"Good girl, Y/N. Such a good fuckin' girl for me." He grunts.
James pulls away to watch you fall apart for him and that’s enough for him. With a few more thrusts James begins to shake and pulls out and comes all over your stomach. He falls beside you and you both catch your breath for a few seconds. James quickly stands up and runs to grab a towel. He comes back and cleans his mess off of you and throws the towel onto the floor. He climbs back up the bed and pulls you into him. He runs his hands through your hair and places several kisses along your forehead.
“That was…amazing.” You whisper.
You glance up at him and he’s smiling down at you.
“You’re amazing.” He says.
For a moment you forget what’s happening. You forget he’s your bodyguard that you’ve only known for a few weeks. You forget you're in a hotel room and not your apartment. You forget that someone is stalking you and possibly trying to kill you. You forget your job and your life. It’s just you and James. Together. You lean up and place a kiss on his lips and then fall back down into him.
You wrap your arm around his stomach and hold him tightly. You listen to the sound of his heartbeat inside of his chest and you think of the life you could have if it wasn’t for your job.
A few minutes pass and James finally speaks up.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
His favorite question to ask you.
You glance up and smile,
“I’ve never been better, James.”
The two of you lay there for a little while longer until you eventually fall asleep in each other's arms.
a/n: it's here! it's here! it's hereeeeee!! hope you enjoyed <3 stay tuned for more ;)
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chapter twenty-two - “a series of unfortunate events”
word count: 2.8k
synopsis: something scary happens in y/n’s home city, but it’s a lot more than meets the eye. the more she figures out, the worse things get, and the worse things get, the more bad things keep happening.
pairings: bucky barnes x fem!reader
warnings: mentions of drinking/alcohol addiction
"Thank you so much. Have a good day," Y/N smiled at the cashier before leaving the market with her groceries.
She lived alone, so she only had to carry a few bags.
Stepping outside, she let the sunshine warm her face. Y/N walked a couple paces, then turned her head suddenly. She could've sworn there had been someone standing by the doors of the super market. Must've been a trick of the mind. It's not like they could've just disappeared.
She kept walking, down the block as she always did. It looked like it had started to snow. But then she looked closer. It was... ash? Why would there be ash?
Y/N looked up. Maybe it was some freak weather thing, or maybe a huge fire nearby. But it wasn't falling from the sky like ash normally would in those scenarios. She stopped walking and turned around. She had somehow... walked through a small flurry of it?
The spot she had walked through had a pile of this 'ash' on the ground. And some was on her clothes and in her hair.
"Oh, ew," she brushed it off.
She was about to bend down to inspect whatever she had just walked through when her entire body startled from a massive crash behind her, and she stumbled to the ground trying to cover her ears.
Panicking, she tried to scoot away from the street. Two cars just slammed into each other and caused a cascade of accidents around them. They were just a few yards from her; she very nearly could have died.
She was wobbly on her feet trying to stand back up. Her ears were ringing and one of her knees felt wet. She looked down. Blood. There was screaming a couple blocks down the street, and somewhere else there was another crash.
Her chest sunk when she realized. "Oh God."
A terrorist attack.
She didn't even think about looking back at the bags she left on the sidewalk as she ran as fast as she could back to her apartment.
She had no idea what was going on. Whatever was happening had killed the power in her building. No TV, no news, no internet. She was in the dark, literally and figuratively.
She placed candles around every room. She barely slept, and she didn't once dare to leave. Every now and then she heard some kind of crash or boom or yelling outside.
It had been four days.
Y/N was running out of food, supplies, and whatever else. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, what she was even supposed to do.
She was thinking about it when there was a knock at her door.
She stopped breathing. Then looked to her bedroom. Would she have enough time to make it there and get her gun before whoever was on the other side of that door broke through? Was it looters? Or psychopaths? Or the terrorists themselves? Who knows? Maybe they were going door to door.
It was almost silent. Whoever it was hadn't knocked again yet. Perhaps they were polite killers - wait for the fight to be fair before doing their worst. Whoever they were, she wasn't willing to give up more time.
Slowly and as quietly as she could, she tiptoed to her bedroom. One anxious step at a time. She made it with no trouble, and before she knew it, her gun was in her hands. A Glock 19. It wasn't huge, but it would do the job. No one had kicked down the door just yet.
Incredibly carefully, she made her way back to the living room, weapon aimed in front of her, hands dead still. Soon enough, she was facing the door. She took a deep breath.
"Come on, motherfucker," she whispered.
Another knock, more forceful this time. She didn't move.
Then, the knob started to jiggle; someone was trying to pick the lock. If they were attempting to sneak in, why the fuck would they knock first? Her grip tightened on the gun.
She didn't have time to ponder it before the door started to open. She pulled the trigger.
"Woah! Oh! Hey!" Steve yelled after he ducked. "It's just me! It's me! It's Steve!"
In the blink of an eye, Y/N shoved the pistol in the back of her jeans and lunged at him, wrapping her arms around his back.
"Oh my god! Steve!"
"You almost shot me!" he exclaimed, but returned the hug all the same.
"I know! I'm sorry! I didn't think it was you!"
He closed his eyes. "I was worried when you didn't answer when I knocked. I thought you were dead."
She let out a pained laugh. "I thought I was just about to be."
Steve gently pulled away. "How are you? Are you okay? Everything is... crazy right now."
"I know, I don't- There's no power in the building- I almost got hit by a car. Which fucking terrorist group is it?"
"You-... what? Terrorists?"
"Yeah. It was some sort of attack."
He looked at her quizzically.
"What?" she asked.
"It's not terrorists."
"Then what is it? I haven't left this apartment in four days."
"This is gonna be... hard to explain."
"Do you remember what happened in New York in 2012?"
"Yeah, of course."
"Something like that happened again."
"Oh shit. Here?"
"Every-... how? What happened?"
It took about ten minutes of explaining. Thanos. The stones. The snap. The dusted.
"Half of the entire planet?! Just gone?!"
He gulped. "Yes."
"That's why- Oh my god- I walked through it- I walked through someone," her voice shook. "It was-... they... were in my hair... on my clothes..."
"I'm sorry. We fought- we-... we really tried. All of us."
She tried to breathe, in shock. "Are you okay? You have bruises and cuts everywhere."
He shook his head, eyes glossy.
"No, I'm fine, I'm fine. But we lost... so much. I really thought there was a chance with the mind stone but Shuri-" he cut himself off suddenly.
Her mind caught up to her. And she froze.
The silence was barbed wire around Steve's throat.
"You were in Wakanda? The fight... was in Wakanda?"
He bit the inside of his lip.
"Steve..." her body didn't move an inch.
"I'm sorry," is all he could say.
"I'm so sorry."
"Is that why you came?"
"Y/N..." his voice cracked.
She paused, then looked away from him. "He's dead?"
Shakily, Steve exhaled. His voice was tiny.
Then it was quiet. The two of them just stood there, neither saying a word. Steve honestly had no idea how she was going to react. He watched her closely but nothing really happened.
"He... really loved you. So much. I'm so sorry."
She just nodded. "Thank you. For coming to tell me."
Steve was trying to figure out what to say next when the lights turned on.
She looked up. "Thanks for coming all the way here, but uh, I think I'm okay now. And you probably have somewhere to be..."
"Y/N, if you need something..."
"Think I'm good."
"Are you sure? This is all a lot, so I'd understand if you don't wanna be alone or need help with anything. I mean, I owe you that much."
"Thank you, but I'm fine. I actually think I need to go out and get some stuff for the apartment. I've been cooped up in here for days, so..."
Steve conceded. "Okay. I'll leave you be. But if you need anything... I'm here for you."
He went in to hug her goodbye, but her arms barely moved.
And then she was alone. In more ways than one.
It didn't take that long for the news to sink in. After Steve left, it was like her brain was in suspended animation. She went the rest of her day walking around like a ghost. Aimless and hollow. However, over a little bit of time, she slowed down, and it caught up to her.
At first, it was just words.
Dead. Death. Gone. Died.
But they held no weight, they had no meaning. They were just letters strung together without any significance. She hadn't fully wrapped her head around it until later that night, when she was sitting in her bed.
When she began to actually think about it, it was more of an abstract thought puzzle. Like, how strange is it that someone is there, alive, and all of a sudden they just aren't anymore? How was Bucky just breathing, talking, moving, and now he's simply gone? How can a person just be gone? It wasn't about the "dusted" effect of simply fading away. He could've gotten shot or died any other way. It was the fact that he was an entire being with history and personality and now he just didn't exist anymore.
Once she got passed that, it was just one truth: he was gone.
She cried - hard - but silently into the darkness. She didn't scream or sob. She sat, still and alone, as the tears fell and her breathing became progressively erratic. It went on until her head was pounding and the pressure in her sinuses made her feel like her face was going to explode. It was a pathetic sight - a woman alone in the dark, weeping until it hurt.
When she woke up the next morning, it was the first thing she thought about. Any normal person would be concerned about the state of the country, the planet for that matter. The world was in shambles around her, but this was all that mattered. He was all that mattered.
She hoped he wasn't scared when it happened. She knew no one who died in "The Snap" felt any pain, but is fear not a different form of pain? Bucky spent so much of his life afraid. Thinking about his last moments being solely composed of fear made her want to throw up.
The worst part about it was the lack of closure. The way things ended between them was horrendous, and she never got to tell him the truth. She never even wrote him back a letter. The guilt and the regret nearly gave her chest pain.
Days went by and all she could feel was his absence. Yes, she had been without him for a while, but this was a different kind of separation. She had missed him before, of course. But this time, she mourned. It is poignantly difficult to long for someone who doesn't exist.
Y/N thought eventually she would get angry and or have a breakdown or something. It never came. She just remained immersed in melancholy.
One afternoon, she woke up from a nap and swore she heard his laugh in her dream. It hurt, but it gave her an idea. She crept into her disaster of a bedroom and went over to her desk, opening one specific drawer. She wiped the tissues and other trash off the surface of her desk, so there was space for the stack of papers in her hand. The stack of letters.
She didn't move from that spot for the next couple of hours. She read over every single letter, some more than once. These were the only pieces of him she had left. That realization was somewhat scary but it did give her a level of comfort. At least she had something.
They became a way to cope whenever she was feeling bad; she'd go back and read them. Some she'd read for specific feelings.
When she was stressed, she'd find the ones that made her laugh, the ones where he talked about funny things from the forties or dumb stuff Steve has said or done. He'd make fun of Sam or bring up some inside joke. He always knew how to make her laugh.
When she was sad and missed him - which was a lot of the time - she would read the ones where he wrote about how he missed her. It was nice to know what she was feeling wasn't one-sided, even if circumstances were different now.
After a while, she could have recited them almost entirely from memory. It's nice to have something to look back on when someone dies. However, there is no new input of memory to have; nothing new ever happens. So, Y/N was forced to only look back on what she already had. When she kept seeking comfort from the same thing over and over, she seemed to develop a sort of tolerance for it. She had read it too many times, looked over the same words too often. It didn't feel the same anymore.
She tried to ignore it, tried to find comfort in other places... It didn't end up being at the bottom of a bottle of Belvedere. But it was numbing enough to do the job. Over time, a colony of bottles grew on her table, her counters, her bedside tables. Not on her desk, though. That was a sacred place. The vices of her distress need not invade the only pure corner left in her life.
It went on like that for a while. Sleeping, drinking, trying to forget. The vodka used to make her puke, but she guessed she developed a tolerance for that, too.
She missed an entire day of work once, just slept right through it. That knocked some sense into her. If there was one thing that still mattered it was work. It didn't completely fix her problem. Alcohol is an addictive drug. She was able to cut down on it to manage her career, but it was still an almost daily occurrence.
A replacement behavior. That's what she needed. For whatever fucking reason, she landed on writing. All she could think about was the letters, but what always did her in was the guilt accompanying the fact that she could never write back. So... she finally did.
Whenever she felt like a drink, she went back to the letters and responded individually to each one. She would write pages and pages, easily. The words bled out of her. Soon enough Y/N didn't even care about the stupid Belvedere. All she wanted to do was write. Perhaps she just switched from one addictive behavior to another. But at least the swap was to something healthy. Relatively.
It worked, quite well, for a while. Until she ran out of his letters. Fuck.
Okay, okay. Easy fix. She didn't need something specific to respond to. She could just write to him, regardless of whether or not he was alive, regardless of whether or not he could write back. She would write to him and he would never answer. Just like she did to him. It was the perfect punishment.
That was the beginning of the end. It was non-stop, the writing. Whenever she had a free moment, she was at her desk, pen in hand. Papers were scattered around her room. They were everywhere. Shoved in the drawers, pasted on the wall beside her bed, some in neat piles on the floor. Basically, it took over her life. And she wasn't sure if she was upset about it.
That was until she almost lost her job. "Too distracted," "too late," and similar phrases echoed around in her mind when she came home that day. It was a decent enough wake up call, the fear and worry. It gave her a fresh head.
She walked into her bedroom that day and just stood, staring. At all the paper littered over everything. She was there all the time, and looked at it all the time. But for some reason, now she was actually seeing it, seeing how it took over her thoughts. How it seeped into every facet of her life. In a way, she had trapped herself. And she lost her freedom.
"Oh my god," she whispered. "I can't live like this anymore."
But the thing it, that feeling, that desire, that need to write to him, didn't go away.
Y/N knelt in front of a case in one of the closets in her apartment. It was filled with a bunch of paperwork, old S.H.I.E.L.D. files, and other materials. Frantically, she dug through it.
"I know it's here, I know it's here."
Lots of exasperation and one or two paper cuts later, she held the file in her hand. She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
For a minute, she just stared at it, eyes attached to the title.
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