#Bucky is emotionally distant but it’s okay

[voiceoffenrisulfr]

Wet & (Emotionally) Messy

After a tough mission, James finds Tony's vulnerable side. CW: Mentions of death of a peripheral character, mentions of violent altercation, smut. Mostly just smut. Anal fingering & anal intercourse, M/M oral, dom/sub dynamic, bratty submissive. Prompts fulfilled; - 'Dom Big Dick Bucky Barnes', 'Teasing' and 'Wet & Messy' - Build-a-Bucky Bingo (@buckybarnesevents); - "Don't Say That", "I'll Be Fine" and "Please Let Me In" - @tonystarkbingo (Mark VII); - 'A prepared to take the killing blow for B, but at the last second B takes it for A instead' - Post-@julybreakbingo. (Blackout! Check out the masterlist here!)

Check it out below, or on AO3 here. Boards at the end, Avengers divider from @firefly-in-darkness!

We sat quietly around the table, each poking morosely at our food with disinterest. The morning had been horrendous, and we were all licking our wounds, visibly affected by the absence of Tony from our gathering.

“Has anyone spoken to him?” Natasha asked, her voice uncharacteristically hushed and uncertain. A chorus of negative murmurs rippled around the table in response, and she grimaced, taking another bite of her salad. It was clear nobody wanted to offer – but the arrogant billionaire’s absence was unsettling, and I let out a sigh as I pushed myself back from the table.

“I’m on it.”

“Bucky-”

I waved a hand at Steve, cutting him off gently. “He’s going to be pretty pissed with himself. If he needs to punch something, I’m sure I can irritate him enough to make that happen.” I smiled wryly as my childhood friend hesitated before nodding, lowering his eyes once more, seemingly grateful to have the responsibility taken from him and not eager to fight for it.

“Stark?”

My knuckles rapped gently on the wood, and I paused to listen. There was no response, but my enhanced hearing picked up the distant drip of a shower and hitching breathing.

Oh…

Hesitating, I looked back down the hall, torn between interrupting to offer him comfort and simply walking away. The latter would be easier, but…

The handle turned readily under my metal fingers, the sound of his sobs coming clearer as I entered the lounge. I realised distantly that I’d never been in his quarters as I moved through the space, feeling like an unwanted intruder in a sacred area, footsteps light and nervous.

The bathroom door was ajar, and I approached wearily, wincing at the gasps and sniffles that were audible over the sound of running water. “Tony? Are you okay?” I knocked gently on the door, and earned a loud sniff in response, followed by him clearing his throat.

“Barnes? What the hell are you doing in my room? Get out!” His voice cracked at the end as he snapped, and I heard the sound of him scrabbling, followed by the door quickly slamming in my face, the latch snicking into place immediately after.

“Ton-”

“Fuck off, James.”

I rested my forehead on the wood with a soft sigh, one hand resting against the door. “Tony… Please. Let me in.” I spoke quietly, and his own voice was hushed when he replied.

“It’s all my fault.”

“That’s not true. You did everything you co-”

“I could have taken the shot from that blaster. The suit would have been fine. I would have been fine.” He sniffed again, and I winced sympathetically. “Why would she do that?”

We’d all seen it, watching helplessly as Tony moved in front of a young girl as a bolt of blue light shot toward them, the blast too fast for him to raise his glowing palms in response. He was right – the suit would have absorbed the shot without much more the superficial damage.

But the girl – barely out of teenagehood – had shoved the red-and-gold hero out of the way, his surprise making him stumble as the bolt seared a hole straight through her chest. He caught her before she hit the ground, but it was already too late, and a roar of rage blew through our comms as he fired blast after blast at the offending enemy, tearing them apart without mercy or hesitation.

“I don’t know,” I admitted softly, eyes closing as I recoiled at the memory. “I… I guess she didn’t think you’d survive it.”

“Even if that were true,” he countered, irritation leaking back into his tone, “why would be my life be worth more than hers? Why would she sacrifice herself for me?”

I opened my mouth to reply just as hotly, but then closed it slowly once the reality of his words sunk in. “…You don’t think you’re worth saving… Do you?”

I was met with only silence, my heart hammering nervously in my chest, until he cleared his throat. “I… I don’t think my life is more important than anyone else’s. Nobody should die for me.”

“Tony, you save hundreds, thousands of people regularly – not to mention how much you donate, and the charitable uses for your inventions. I hate to say it – truly – but you might actually have saved more people than any of the rest of us. I don’t think like it’s unreasonable that someone would-”

“I’m not worth it!” he snarled, and I heard him turn in his spot, hand colliding heavily with the wood. “She shouldn’t have died – not for me!”

Blinking in surprise, I drew back from the door, briefly stunned for words. “Don’t… Don’t say that, Tony. What she did sucks, but… She made a choice because she thought you were worth it. Do you want to discredit her memory by saying she was wrong?”

The silence stretched out for a few more moments, before another sniff sounded through the wood, accompanied by the sound of him sliding to the floor. “You can leave,” he monotoned. “I’ll be fine.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Why? Why do you care, Barnes? You don’t like me, I don’t like you. Can’t you just leave me alone?”

Inhaling sharply in a soft huff, I turned my back to the door, also lowering myself to the ground. “… You think I don’t like you?” I inquired quietly, stuck dumb by this revelation. “I like you fine. I just figured you still hated me – understandably - so I tend to stay out of your way.”

“I don’t hate you,” he answered softly, barely audible even to my sensitive hearing.

“You don’t?”

“No, James. I don’t.”

“… Then let me in. Please.”

I waited with bated breath for his response, uncertain and anxious, until I heard him move to his feet and slowly slide the latch on the door.

His face appeared through a narrow crack, blotchy and flushed from crying, and I grimaced sympathetically. “Tony…”

“Just don’t,” he muttered, pushing past me, a towel around his waist and his bare chest still glistening from the shower. “Like I said – I’ll be fine. Just… Leave me alone, Buck. Please.”

I reached out to grasp his wrist, pulling him to a halt. “No. I’m not going to let you sit here and mope by yourself; you’ll probably drink yourself to death in the process. You need to be around the team, Tony.”

He snorted, sitting on the bed, resting on his elbows on his knees. “No, I need to forget about it. You can either help with that, or leave me alone.”

I blinked in surprise as he reached for a bottle of whisky, pouring himself a cut glass half full without looking at me. “… How can I help?”

He paused, his eyes on the amber liquid in the tumbler between his fingers. “I intended to call in some… Services. You can save me the money, if you like.”

With a raised eyebrow, I half-stepped back, stunned to silence for a moment as my mouth went dry. “I… I, uh…”

He flushed minutely, taking a long swig from his drink before responding. “I’m teasing you, Barnes. Calm down. I’m sure I can find a different pretty boy who’s willing to suck my cock.”

I snorted, shaking my head light-heartedly. “I don’t get on my knees for anyone, Stark. I make others kneel.”

… Did he just call me a pretty boy?

His eyebrow twitched, lips pressing together minutely. “I… Am sure that could be arranged.”

Another owlish blink, and my gaze skirted his jawline, the hairpin curve of his lip and the enticing hollow of his throat. It wasn’t as if I hadn’t thought of it – had dreams of those burnt sienna eyes wide and intoxicated as I claimed his mouth, metal fingers possessively tangled in mahogany hair – but it’d never been more than a briefly passing fantasy, something borne in the haze of the half-awake and blood flooding to my arousal as I stirred. “I-”

“Look, I have needs right now, Barnes. You want to help? Fine; that’s how you help. So get your pants off, or get out.”

My throat turned dry, but I took a step forward, then another, my confidence growing as the metres between us passed until his knees were pressed to my legs and my cocky smile reserved for these moments firmly in place. “Was that an order, Stark?” My fingers wrapped around his glass, taking it gently from his hand, and when he didn’t object, my free palm found his chest and pushed him onto his back.

He inhaled sharply as his bare skin met the sheets, his heart pounding to such an extent that it was audible over my own, and I smirked, putting down his drink to undo my belt. “Is this what you want, Stark? A strong man to take control and fuck you until all the thoughts are gone from that pretty little head?”

Swallowing dryly, he nodded faintly, the towel over his lap shifting minutely as his enthusiasm for the situation began to show. I grasped his thighs and jerked him closer, stepping between his legs to lean over him, one hand wrapped lightly around his throat, the other keeping me from crushing him beneath my weight as my lips ghosted over his.

He whimpered softly with desire, and my gentle, teasing resolve snapped.

My grip on his throat tightened, and I crashed my mouth against his, our kiss imbued with whisky and salted by the tears still fading from his skin. His body pressed needily against me, hands coming up to claw at my back and drag up my shirt, but I pinned his wrists over his head with a growl. “Hands to yourself until I tell you otherwise, Stark. You don’t get to touch me, or yourself, until you have my express permission. Do you understand me?”

He whined and nodded again, back arching once more, hard cock pressed into the hollow beneath my hipbone in a desperate attempt for friction. “Yes, Sir…”

I groaned as I kissed him again, shifting back to sit on the bed, moving my eyes to his body still lay prone and panting. “Well? On your knees, boy. I believe I was promised a pretty boy on my cock.”

He scrambled to kneel before me immediately, almost purring with delight as my fingers found his hair lightly, glancing to me for clarification before jerking down my jeans, pressing his lips against the outline straining in my boxers with a happy sigh. My head fell back, eyes closing in pleasure, until he pulled my underwear down, and I felt him still uncertainly. With a grin, I looked down, finding him wide-eyed and dumbstruck. “What’s wrong, pet?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever… I’ve never been with someone so… Well-equipped,” he murmured, hesitantly trailing kisses along my length, still looking somewhat perturbed by the thick cock he’d uncovered. With a smile, I smoothed my palm over his hair, gently soothing.

“Don’t think you can take it?”

He looked up at me as he reached my lightly weeping tip, tongue flicking out to taste the bead of pre-come gathered by his lips. “I’m certainly going to try.”

With a soft moan, I watched in enraptured wonder as his lips parted, slowly taking my head into his mouth with his eyes on mine. He was clearly experienced with this, as much as my cock came as a shock – he took the majority of my length without struggling, swallowing as I entered his throat to take me deeper. Tears of pleasure pricked his eyes when I buried myself inside him, his lips strained around my cock, cheeks hollowed as he sucked at me needily. With a groan, I wrapped a hand in his hair tightly, pressing ever further, shuddering in pleasure as his nose pressed against my skin, the entirety of my length vanishing inside him delightfully. His fingers grasped at my hips, holding me to him, seemingly revelling just as much as I in his capacity for cock, before he shifted slowly, letting the base of my cock drag along his tongue as he drew back, taking in a long, starved breath before burying me inside his throat once more. A loud hiss of ecstasy sounded as my free hand joined the other, holding his head still as I shifted faster, his eyes closing in pleasure.

“That’s it; God, you’re such a good boy, Stark. I never thought you’d suck cock like such a slut – but look at you now, taking every inch like a well-trained whore…” I thrusted a little harder, one hand shifting to grasp his throat lightly, my length nudging against my palm as he swallowed around me. His fingers tightened, nails pricking my skin and spurring me on, lost in his place on his knees and subservient. “Just like that, Tony…”

All too soon, I pulled my cock free of those flushed, perfect lips, tip trailing over his skin and leaving a smear of my essence on his cheek. He whined softly, eyes opening to look up at me, but I simply smirked in response. “Oh, don’t look so worried, sweetheart. I’m not done with you yet… Get on the bed.”

With a brief, startled blink of surprise, he obeyed, moving to settle nervously on the sheets, the towel still wrapped around his waist doing nothing to conceal his arousal. My hand found his jaw, thumb skimming over the smudge of pre-come on his cheek, and I smiled softly. “Do you want this?”

“Yes, Sir,” he whispered, lips parting to take my pad and lick his prize from my skin. “I’m just nervous.”

My grin grew bigger, and I leant in to kiss him gently. “I’ll be careful with you, my poor, fragile creature.”

He nodded and lay back, murmuring under his breath about condoms and lubricant. I explored the bedside table he gestured to, smirking at some of the other things I found nestled amongst ropes and restraints, taking a mental inventory for my absent-minded fantasies. By the time I turned back to him, condom in place and my length dripping lube, he was naked and eager, languidly stroking his cock, hand stuttering when I raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t I tell you to ask permission before you touch yourself?”

His fingers released himself quickly, cheeks flaming. “I-I… I’m sorry. I forgot. It won’t happen again…” He wriggled closer, legs spreading without being told. “Please, Sir. Don’t make me wait… I need you.”

“Roll,” I grunted, waving a hand pointedly. He obliged immediately, the toned curve of his ass making my mouth water, and he shivered in delight as my slick fingers trailed over his hole, hips twitching toward my touch. “My, my, Stark… You’re a truly desperate little whore, aren’t you? I’m surprised you’ve not begged me to fuck you sooner…”

“I didn’t beg now,” he muttered, fingers curling into fists on the sheets, and I chuckled under my breath.

“Even now – your legs spread, ass so eager for my cock – you’re trying to maintain some semblance of that famous Stark pride, are you?” I tutted, enjoying the gasp and quiet moan as I slid one finger patiently inside him. “Or is it arrogance? Either way, I’m sure I can rid you of it easily enough.”

He was rutting back immediately into my touch, clearly unbothered by the single digit, so I pressed another into him quickly, earning another whine, his grip on the sheets tightening as I worked him patiently.

“I don’t b-beg,” he stammered, cheek resting on the sheets as his hips rolled in a desperate attempt to take me deeper.

“Really?” I crooned, adding a third alongside the first two, a guttural groan sounding in response as I curled them inside him.

“I-I- fuck – I’ve never begged… N-not for anyone…” His voice came out as a whimper, ragged breath rasping between his teeth as he trembled, his cock twitching between his legs as he writhed minutely. Humming thoughtfully, I moved my hand even slower, smirking as his head turned to glare at me. “Stop being a dick, Barnes. If you’re going t-to fuck me, just fuck me.”

“Beg.”

He growled in response, eyes flashing, and I smiled innocently, drawing one finger out, the other two working his stretched hole patiently. “How about now?”

“I don’t beg.”

Sighing, I removed a second, and he whined, my single digit barely registering in the loosened ring of muscle. “Are you sure?”

“I. Don’t. Beg.”

I pulled my hand free at last, metal fingers curling around his hip to hold him still as I lined myself up at his entrance and let out another quiet sigh. “That’s disappointing… But I’m sure you’ll suffice.” My tip eased inside him slowly, and he hissed, grasp tightening in the bedding, but growled when I paused.

“I didn’t tell you to stop.”

Laughing under my breath, I began to draw back, the very end of my cock almost slipping free when he whimpered.

“Fine.”

“What was that, pet?” I smiled, leaning closer, halting my retreat as I feigned struggling to hear. “Did you say something?”

He sighed, turning his head to look at me once more where I knelt behind him, holding him tightly. “I… I said fine. I’ll beg.” I let my cock sink in another half-inch, and he shivered with delight.

“I’ll make you a deal,” I murmured, leaning forward to wrap my hand around his throat, jerking him up against my chest and pressing a delicate kiss to his sweat-damp cheek. “The better you beg, the harder I’ll fuck you. So… Beg for it like a good whore, and I’ll fuck you like one.”

I felt his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed, nodding shallowly. “P… Please, James. Sir. Please… Fuck me.” My cock shifted minutely deeper, torturously slowly, and I held back a whine of pleasure at the feeling of him stretching around my length. “Oh, f-fuck… God, Ja- Sir, fuck- your cock is so damn big… I need you to fuck me, please… Please, Sir, make me feel good… Stretch me out and pound me into the f-fucking mattress…”

I growled under my breath, fingers tightening on his throat, slowly pressing deeper inside him. “Almost there, boy… Think you can take it all?” He nodded quickly, hips twitching under the fierce vibranium grip, and I sheathed myself smoothly, earning a violent shudder and a groan of delight. “That’s it… You’re so pretty wrapped around my cock, Stark…”

I stayed almost motionless for a moment, my movements almost imperceptible, revelling in the feeling of being entirely buried inside the Great Tony Stark while he trembled and mewled like a common whore. He turned his head to meet my gaze, pupils blown wide with lust, and licked his lips. “Please… Please, Sir… You know what I need. I-I need you. You feel so good, fuck… Please just pound me with your thick cock, James. Make me feel incredible. Make me come and scream your name, please…”

Groaning with resignation, I shoved his chest back to the bed, both hands finding his hips and pulling almost entirely out before slamming back inside him, earning a yelp and gasp and whimper of utter delight, his head jerking in frantic nods. “Yes! Oh God, yes, please, James- fuck me nice and hard, make me yours-”

His words died into desperate yowls and moans as my resolve snapped and I began to work him in earnest, using every inch of my – admittedly impressive – length to make him shiver and writhe in ecstasy. Snarling under my breath, I pulled him back against me in time with my hips snapping forward, watching with satisfaction as the skin of his toned ass began to colour from my strength. His muscles were already tensing, fingers twitching with need, and I dug my nails in lightly as his lips parted once more, lost in the way his body was jerking with each thrust. “Pl- please- James- fuck- I-I need- C-can- Please-”

Smiling absently, I fucked him harder, my words coming barely audible over his desperate, garbled pleas. “Stroke that cock for me, boy. Say my name, and you can come for me.”

It barely took his fingertips brushing his length for him to yowl for me, back arching as his seed soaked the sheets, his voice cracking as he cried out with pleasure. The sound of my name falling willingly from the billionaire’s lips as I showed him a higher power was all it took for me to follow him into the abyss, grunting out my own enjoyment with a few final, rough thrusts, sending him sprawling into his own mess.

Afterwards, Tony collapsed to the sheets, his ass already showing the first signs of bruising, skin slick with sweat and his own essence. He whined softly with each breath, eyes half closed, while I hissed at the snap of the condom against my sensitive length. “Jesus, Stark… You take it well. I’m impressed.”

“Thank you, Sir,” he mumbled agreeably, half-smiling, exhausted and placated. “… Thanks for your help. That… Yeah. Helped.” I laughed, running a fingertip over the fingernail marks still embedded on his hip. “I’m very glad. Feel free to call for me the next time you’re experiencing some… Emotional distress.” My hand found his still-damp hair, tipping his head back gently to skim my lips over his. “I like you wet and messy, Stark. You’re far more palatable when you’re begging.”

He chuckled lazily, a faint blush colouring his cheeks. “’m gonna have to take another shower…” With a soft groan, he slid from the bed, dragging the sheet with him, pausing only minutely as he waved a hand over his shoulder. “… You can stay, if you like. Uh… It… Might be nice not to spend the night alone.”

The bathroom door closed behind him, and I hesitated, looking between the wood and the sheetless bed.

“… FRIDAY?”

“Yes, Sergeant Barnes?”

“Where are the bedsheets?”

#mine #fanfiction #fandom: marvel #writers on tumblr #writing bingo #rating: e #july break bingo #post july break bingo 2023 #ship: Winteriron #Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Tony Stark #tony stark bingo #build a bucky bingo 2023 #bucky barnes events #cw: smut

[kylosgenesis]

Teardrops on Fire

Synopsis:

Steve Rogers is the last Alpha of the an almost extinct Lycan pack. With only less than 100 members left. Steve must produce an heir to ensure the species survival and reduce the chance of attacks from others. Omegas are rare, and betas have a hard time producing children. Steves reality is finally setting in as his obligation of producing an heir faces a major set back.

Reader is the last suitable omega to mate with Steve, due to the fear of her daughters fate in the pack, her mother kept her hidden from the pack after her own exile. Only her mother, and Bucky's family know of her existence. Bucky is Steve's right hand man, and the packs best warrior! He and the reader developed a friendship and bond over the years, but age forced them to become distant.

What happens when she presents and her first heat cycle comes? Her body is in excruciating pain and a strong fever quickly overcomes her body. Facing the fear of her daughters possible death, her mom calls on the only person who can save her at this point, Alpha Steve! Bucky and the alphas friendship will be tested. The reader will be faced with her love for Bucky or her duty to the pack.

Unbeta'd: Might have some mistakes

Warnings: A/B/O dynamics, mentions of consent

Chapter 5:Little Talks

Morning came pretty fast! Everything that happened after the bite was a blur. She felt her body light up! Like cables finally connecting together; until one by one till there was only peace, and him at the back of her head. Her body remained a bit weak, but her mind was stronger than ever!

She didn’t know how she should feel! One moment she’s getting ready to see the light, and the next she’s mated to her childhood best friend whom she hadn’t even talked to in years.

It wasn’t a fairytale moment! Not like what her mom described or she excitedly read about in books. There wasn’t an undying passion consuming them ; no words of love shared! Only chills, and the feeling of being lost. With him, or without him.

Getting ready to start the hike back was complicated! There were little to no words shared between them in the past few hours. He only woke her up to tell her he’d caught a rabbit, and she should eat and regain her strength.

She hated that despite wanting to spit the pieces of rabbit she’d managed to take a bite of right into his face, she simply couldn’t! He had this emotional hold on her where no matter how much she wanted to punch and hate him, she would still trust and react to him as if he deserved it. They walked in silence the whole time, Bucky was the one who broke the silence first.

“I think this is the best place to set up the flare! The village can see in from the north, east and west...” as he pointed at all the directions

“once they see the signal, Steve and the search team will know where we are, until then we should remain put”

She just nodded! Too emotionally exhausted from being within her own thoughts the whole morning.

Bucky noticed her switch in her emotions, her thoughts had been bothering him all morning. He couldn’t physically read or understand them, but there was a humming within him. It filled him with fear, anxiety, and sorrow.

Even though he himself was scared out of his mind, he knew it was nothing compared to her right now. She went from a peaceful life, to a mate, and a whole different life ahead of her in just a few hours.

The flare was loud and bright, he knew it was only about time till they would be in for company, and he still had to manage to explain to his best friend how totally he had messed up.

“ So...What happens now?” She had creeped up on him while he was deep in thought. He turned back and stroked his stubble while he was scared of fully looking into her eyes.

He felt responsible for her now, an overwhelming urge to protect her from everyone and everything, but the worst part is, he’d chosen that for them!

In her eyes he had betrayed her trust and in his eyes he was a monster. All the self control he’d managed to build over the years, all the regrets he had all lead up to this.

“ I don’t know yet! Steve will be here any minute... it’ll be best I talk to him... Alone!” They shared a mutual stare “ I wouldn’t want you to be involved in this. This is my mess to fix”

She was weirdly curious at the mention of Steve, she’d heard of the packs alpha before Steve. The one that killed her father, and threw away her mother like it was nothing.

Bucky could tell that the mention of Steve made her uneasy, she after all had never met him, or any of the pack as a matter of fact. It dawned on Bucky that not only was she still in shock from the bite, but her world was about to get a whole lot bigger!

Her little cabin would no longer be her only life and reality.

The sound of tires screeching in the distance caught them both by surprise. Out of the corner of her eyes a large vehicle pulled up, and out came a small woman with straight locks of lovely red shoulder length hair. Besides her stood a blonde middle aged man around the same height as her, but more muscular.

They were both betas as far as you could tell, still the unknown fear pushed you to rely on Bucky for comfort. You strode forward towards Bucky, and hid behind his large body, you were exposed enough where you could see the movement of people around, but Bucky’s body still kept you safe and protected.

The red haired woman approached first. She first stopped in front of bucky, confused! But soon she stood on the hard tips of her muddy combat boots, and embraced Bucky

” We thought you’d both died on the trail, there were no tracks to follow... things went cold fast! Steve’s gonna be ...”

Natasha made eye contact with you and most importantly your now scabbed, and healing neck. she let go of her embrace of Bucky and stared at him in disbelief.

“Nat... don’t! I know this looks ba... “

before he could finish his sentence a hand collided with his face. His nostrils flared in shock and the pupils in his eyes dilated, she noticed the beta behind the red haired woman now stood between her and Bucky.

“You took advantage of her!” she pointed at him while the beta punched her back, Bucky caressed his now blushed red cheek.

“ Not more than Steve would’ve “ he replied, fire in his tone!

“ Bucky you know how important she is! We needed her, how could you do that to him!”

Bucky knew Nat was partially right. But he was too proud to admit it.

She noticed that when Bucky was nervous he would fondle with his hands, look at them as if they were brand new, but this time he was different.

He spewed confidence! She could see the alpha in him look intimidating so she stepped closer to him. Her aura immediately calmed Bucky down enough to alert the small woman, the alpha , and Bucky of the sound of an approaching motorcycle.

From behind, a motorcycle approached from her end! She turned around, and saw a large man with blonde long locks, as far as she could tell he was the alpha they referred to as Steve.

His face kept itself hidden behind a well kept beard, he emerged from under the shadow, and she braced herself for the shock of a new face. As the sun shone on him, she was met with a pair of ocean blue eyes, and her heart dropped. He was easily the most single handedly intimidating person she has ever met, yet he looked gentle, and kind all at the same time.

Steve himself couldn’t contain the fire flowing through his veins, the excitement as he approached her evident on his stride. Before he could fully reach her, Bucky was in between her and Steve like a barrier.

“ Bucky move!” Steve used his alpha command voice on Bucky, yet Bucky barely flinched as he just pushed her closer to his back, and away from Steve’s line of sight.

“Steve...” he was face to face with his best friend. Blue eyes colliding in gaze and confusion coating Steve’s face “Things didn’t go well last night! I had no other choice, she was..” it hit Steve slowly at first and then all at once!

The look of betrayal and the smell of his fury even startled her, she was hidden out of Steve’s hindsight, so it must be Bucky's emotions reflecting on her.

The red haired women approached them. So far she’d had no introduction to any of them, but she felt the kindness in her eyes, even through her intimidating gaze.

She stepped between them!

“Not right now... “ she took turns making a calming eye contact with both of them.

The red haired woman wasn’t scared of their alpha rage or hormones, so she must be someone they both looked up to and to an extent respected.

“Not in front of her! The woman turned to her and kindly nodded. “She’s scared!” She turned back to talk to them. “She doesn’t need to be in the middle of your testosterone sandwich right now, let me take her! Clint and I will keep her safe we promise! You guys can beat each other up after we leave” the woman backed up away from them, and towards you.

You could feel both Bucky and Steve’s gazes pierce right through you. Bucky was nervous! You could tell, but he was trying to send you into more distress than you’d already been though. And Steve... your heart skipped a beat the longer you stared at him.

You didn’t have experience talking to people outside of your mom and Winnifred, but his man was making you stumble upon your words in your brain, you couldn’t even imagine if you tried saying something right now.

All the thoughts of your brain this morning seemed to disappear in the presence of these two alphas. You weren’t scared of them, your heart was just curious to know more! And your brain was going haywire, and deep down in your gut you had a really bad feeling.

“Hey! I’m Natasha, but everyone calls me Nat... I know you don’t know me, but you can trust me...”

she looked back at the alphas

“ I would let anyone hurt you! I’m going to take you over to my house at the village and get your wounds looked at, okay?”

She was waiting for your consent and you just nodded and followed her. She opened the door of the vehicle.

You collapsed into the large seat in the back as the red head opened a bag and pulled out a blanket. She wrapped it over shoulders as she sat next to you.

Nat nodded to the driver who looked at the back seat waiting for further instructions. “ We’re good to go Clint!”

As the vehicle wheeled away you could see both the alphas through the rear view window. You could see their lookups moving, but couldn’t make up what they were saying. They both took one last longing look at you as the vehicle disappeared from their line of sight.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bucky's POV

His head hit the ground hard! He could feel the crispness of dried blood in his face , his body ready to give in and pass out. He still propped himself up with his elbows, and faced his friend Steve. Both beaten and covered in their own blood, the fight had left their bodies some time ago, but the underlying rage was still there!

Steve collapsed to his knees from exhaustion and now lay next to Bucky, both contemplating their next words, unmoving and exhausted.

“Why her?”

Bucky didn’t wanna give Steve too much to read into his answer. He didn’t need to let Steve know that he’d been in love with this girl since before he could grow a beard.

The air was surrounded by the sound of his gasps for air and lips smacking before he spoke

“ I found her, and she seemed fine, I thought we’d make camp...start coming down in the morning... but then” the flashbacks of her laying in his arms covered in her own blood gasping for air plagued his thoughts” she was going to die! “

he faced Steve “ I couldn’t let her suffer! I... I couldn’t think of anything else besides the bite”

Bucky was distraught with what he'd done, and Steve could tell !

“It saved her life... bought her time!”

Steve knew his best friend. Bucky had never been a liar, he’d suffered since his accident, and Steve knew not to pressure him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about. Deep down he knew that Bucky wasn’t trying to hurt him, or her!

The choice he made made him feel like he had no control over his instincts, but Steve knew his best friend couldn’t leave anybody behind. That’s just the way Bucky was, He’d do whatever it took to get the job done and get everyone home safe. Even if it was impulsive and even if they now had to deal with the consequences.

“I’ll make some calls!” Steve pushed himself up and offered a hand to his brother to fell him off the ground.

“There has to be a way of undoing it

... Im sure of it!” Hands on his hips he turned to face Bucky.

“And what if there isn’t? “ Bucky was met with silence, he knew they couldn’t afford to think of the what if.

Even if it broke Bucky's heart, and he had to sell his soul for it, he’d find her a way out!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She woke up in a strange place! The events of the previous hours coming back to her, she realized she’d probably fallen asleep in the car.

“Ohhh good you’re awake! “ Nat appeared from the other room carrying a kettle and from her pockets pulling out a few bags of tea.

“Earl grey? It always helps with my nerves” she smiled at her, she felt as if Nat felt pity for her.

“No thank you! Im still a little dizzy if I’m being honest! “ She looked around the house. This was definitely not her old worn down cabin, Nat was a practical woman by appearance, but lacked nothing when it came to decoration.

Her house was painted an emerald green with floor to ceiling windows, white trims, and a fluffy grey couch. It was almost out of a story!It reminded her of the fancy manors she’d read about, and Nat definitely looked like royalty. The emerald also suited her hair perfectly!

“What’s going to happen to me? “ She asked nat, catching her off guard mid tea sip.

Nat lowered herself down on the couch next to her and leaned against the back using her angled right hand for support.

“We don’t know yet! Steve is trying to make some calls and see if the mating can be undone... “

her eyes lit up!

“ Undone by who?” Nat stood up and walked over to a marbled golden desk in the corner of the room, she opened a drawer and pulled out a large piece of paper. Yellow in tint and covered in black ink, where intricate drawings of the surrounding areas along with habitants. She’s never known how big the world was outside of her little cabin, and hunting grounds.

“This map shows all villages surrounding us...” she pointed at different ones and carefully explained their contributions to the treaty.

Humans took to the majority of the land, outnumbering the packs! They made little to no contact except for commodities, and medicines at nearby cities.

The treaty was an alliance of villages coming together to benefit from each other’s resources. The Wendigo's provided moose and large game, the Kitsune's traded spices and wool. There was another werewolf pack about a day's drive, they provided weapons and within their pack was a coven.

Nat drew her fingers through the sketch along the coven. They were ancient magic users! Most of us had lost the ability to shift as generations went on. Only enhanced abilities, and designations were left for most, except for the witches. They still had their full abilities and the protection they needed to practice in peace.

“If anyone can break the bond it’s them, but favors like this will cost the village some people” Nat explained, the Lycan's role In the treaty.

They provided protection!

Warriors to ward off enemies from other coasts, and humans that wanted to take land by force. If a fight needed to be fought Steve sent people to fight, but with the decline in numbers it was getting risky to send people out.

The energy in the room got tense at the thought of sacrificing people for her own sake. It made her feel immensely guilty that she didn’t even know these people that well and they were willing to risk their lives for her.

Clearing her throat and standing up to walk around the room, she explored with her eyes as she spoke ”how’s my mom?” She had been so caught up in her own emotions that she’d forgotten her mother must’ve been going crazy looking for her. Her voice cracked with panic “ Does she know I’m here?”

“Yes! Steve offered her a place here, but she declined. Winnifred said she’d check up on her as much as she can''

Nat grabbed her hands and looked at her eyes “ You have nothing to be scared about, you’re family! We’re sorry it all happened like this! I know you’re confused as to why you’re here, but Steve’s great guy I promise! I know things seem rushed right now, but we’re here to help you fit in”

She still felt as if she had no answers! Why was she so important to them? Surely they had more omega’s like her. Or maybe not... why else would they be fighting for and over her.

“Am I the only ...? “ she pointed to herself in a way that made Nat chuckle and snort a bit.

“Omega?”

“Yes!”

“ I know it’s a lot of pressure, but in a way .You’re the pack's hope.Steve thinks you and him can give the pack some...”

Nat stopped on her tracks and gave her a half hearted glance ” I'm sorry! I know it sounds horrible when I say it like that! You’re a person not a breeding mule!

“No, it’s okay! My mom told me story’s of omegas. It’s kinda what I was made for...that explains this! “ She pointed to her healing bite wound.

“ the wrong alpha claimed me!”

She thought about Bucky, that feeling in the back of her head was still there. It hummed to her like a lullaby, she couldn’t see him, but she felt him. She wondered if he felt the same way too, could they communicate like this or were they just on an emotional two way phone call.

Thinking about her bond with Bucky felt so reassuring, but so wrong! She’s supposed to be discontent with it, but it’s her Bucky. No matter how hard she’d tried she could never be mad at him.

Tags:@dottirose @tanyaherondale @iloveshawnieboi @marmite79

@austynparksandpizza @nerdgirljen @exposition-belongs-somewhere @patzammit @connie326 @blessedwedgie

#bucky barnes x reader #steve rogers x reader #alpha bucky x omega reader #alpha steve x omega reader #alpha bucky #alpha steve rogers #omegaverse #omega reader #james bucky barnes #bucky x reader #Bucky AU

[snarkwrites]

ooh la la. can i ask for i - j - k for bucky barnes?

Fuck yeah. Yeah  you certainly can my beautiful precious anon! Ilysm for sending me a Bucky ask because I’ve honestly been dying to attempt writing him more often? So yes,yes, fuck yes, thank you for this ask.

Warnings:

{NSFW CONTENT. ABSOLUTELY NO MINORS.} If you’re underage, this wasn’t written for you nor should you be reading it. If you do read it and you encounter something you weren’t supposed to see and that upsets you, this is strictly your own problem. You were clearly warned and you continued to read. Not my fault.

If you choose to stick around, first of all, yay. Secondly, these are the things you need to be aware of going into this post: masturbation, various kinks not limited to bondage / authority / daddy / breeding / orgasm control / voyeurism, and honestly, that’s it..

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@babysimpala - bc torture lmaooo

@kyleoreillysknee

@micolegg 

@mrsstevenbuchananstark

Other Stuff:

[ faq | nsfw masterlist - absolutely no minors | tag list doc ] 

bucky barnes + intimacy | jack off | kinks

i = intimacy, how intimate are they in the moment?

-- Ugh, this man.. Listen, he is soft and sweet when he’s really in love and he’s let those walls down and just.. He’s touching you and whispering soft words against your skin. He’s holding you and kissing you and leaving marks hidden all over you. Even when he’s not emotionally attached to his partner, he can’t quite bring himself to be cold or distant. He’s constantly touching / holding. Whispering encouragement and affection. So I have to say he’s pretty damn intimate I’d think.

j=jack off, masturbation headcanons?

-- Bucky likes it when you watch him masturbate. Especially when he can see how crazy it drives you. And when you start joining in? It’s all he can do to focus on his own impending pleasure because he’s just too caught up in watching you get yours. He also likes it when you jack him off. Or you start giving him a hand job that ends in a messy, deep throating blow job. 

k= kinks, what are some of their kinks?

-- Oh god, okay.. First of all we have an authority kink. If you address him by his rank or Sir.. You are getting railed against the nearest flat surface. He’s into risky sex, so the fact that doing it in a barely private place could result in someone seeing you two going at it really feeds his voyeurism kink. We’re just.. not getting into the smallish breeding kink he may or may not have. Or the fact that the first time you let him use one of his old suit ties to tie your hands and blindfold you, it was all he could do to focus on the actual sensual torture he was trying to give you because all he wanted to do was bury his cock deep inside you. This one isn’t sexual, but he has a voice kink.. He loves accents. And he loves soft or deep voices. There’s just something about voices that turn him on... Fuck I hope I answered this well... 

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes imagines #bucky barnes x reader imagine #bucky barnes x reader fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #my writing ; bucky barnes #my ns*w alphabets ; bucky barnes #my imagines ; bucky barnes #my fics ; bucky barnes #// absolutely no one (0) under 18+ #// masturb*tion tw

[merrysithmas]

reasons why Steve Rogers is obviously coming back to the MCU at some point

okay im not really an MCU fan (i sideye disney bc they are homophobes and i always will) so maybe i can be more emotionally distant from their films than other people -

but here are some obvious reasons why Steve will come back to the MCU in time:

1. Legit everyone on earth loathed his Endgame ending and Disney is a sap for $$ and will do anything to get fans to forgive them esp when it concerns one of their big tentpole characters (See: Star Wars) that they bank off. There's a zillion way they could elaborate Steve's Endgame decisions to make them more than what they seemed (and narratively understandable in the grand scheme of multiverse/time travel). He was only gone for a total of 30 seconds and then immediately returned to his friends, but he could've seen a lot a la Dr Strange when he tripped the multiverse in Endgame. Basically, "Steve knows stuff that we don't".

2. They already proved they can de-age people. Remember when Scott Land turned into an old man and a baby because they let time travel through him and not him through time? Yeah they put that precedent there for a reason. They'll de-age Steve at least to a degree at some point (Silver Fox Steve is coming).

3. Space is the next big Marvel theme - think about it, if earth is so messed up from what Thanos did, what about every other planet in the universe? & there are the conspiracy theories in-universe in tfatws saying Steve could be where? The moon of all places which in the comics is a known Marvel hero base. With GotG, Dr Strange/Wanda, Thor, Cpt Marvel/Photon, and Fury/the Skrulls all signs seems to point to space... and Steve is hangin out on the moon. Mhm.

4. They purposefully made him old and didn't leave him in time or kill him because they wanted to leave it open-ended. Obviously. That was a clear narrative choice. Plus his actor is still a young guy, unlike say RDJ who wanted to just break it off.

5. It is time for Sam to be Cap! Steve wanted Sam to inherit the mantle of Cap because he knew this was a hero's journey he could not make himself - it is time for Sam to stand in the limelight. Steve is a good person and he knew that Sam's journey is not one he could have made as a white man (as a chronically ill, disabled, impoverished, Irish boy in the 30s he had many issues - but he will never understand what it is like to be black in America). Sam's destiny is to be a Cap that Steve couldn't be and Steve was so so proud of him when he handed him the shield. A real ally amplifies others and stands back so they can speak for themselves, and that's what Steve did. Marvel wanted to pass the mantle to Sam, so Steve has to take a backseat until Sam is established in tfatws. After that Steve can eventually reappear and move on to do other stuff.

6. The multiverse is coming which opens avenues for many versions of Steve and other characters even played by other actors to reappear in earlier or diff timelines. Also Loki's time travel stuff.

7. In the comics Nick Fury occupies a position where he monitors the safety of earth from the moon. This could easily be a taskforce that Steve is also taking part in and who knows may inherit from Fury himself. And guess who inherited this role in the comics at one point as well... none other than Bucky Barnes. Yup. Bucky Barnes in space with Rocket again. And Steve! Bucky is the kind of character they will stick anywhere and has an unpredictable future, so it would not be a surprise if they shifted him to the more comical realm of space at some point. When a character gets to be too heavy they usually shift them to comedic. This is Disney.

8. Who will be the next Nick Fury? We have many legacy changes both past and future occuring...Tony to Peter, Steve to Sam, Thor to Jane, Natasha to Yelena, Clint to Kate. Who is the next Nick Fury? The hidden eyes and ears of justice, the orchestrating conductor and supervising glue of the good guys... could we witness Fury to Rogers handover? Maybe!!

even if all these predictions are wrong as to how he will reappear, he is still definitely going to reappear at some point without a doubt for some reason or another 😁

#marvel #steve rogers #mcu #bucky barnes #nick fury

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

summertime sadness .5.

work day

Sequel to kiss me in the d-a-r-k

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 (masterlist under construction)

Warnings: dub con sex (fingering)

This is dark!(dad)Steve and dark(professor!)Bucky explicit. 18+ only. I know they aren’t super dark, but like questionable so I’m keeping those tags just to be safe.

Summary: Loki adds to your workload.

Note: Right, here we go, here we go, here go again. Girls, what's my weakness? Men! Sorry, minor detour there but are we ready for the darkness? Y'all hold onto your panties. Thanks everyone for their support and I love you all! 💋

<3 Let me know what you think in a reblog, reply, or like. I’m loving the feedback from y'all and the enthusiasm! Also as always, memes accepted.

💋💋💋

You didn’t sleep much. Every time you closed your eyes, the scene flashed behind your eyelids. Loki standing over you, the image on his phone, his hand on your chin. And then you thought of Bucky. It was hard not to; your phone buzzed all night as you ignored his messages. Steve’s too. It had finally caught up to you and it felt worse than you could imagine. A man you admired thought you nothing more than a floozy. Well, maybe you were.

Saturday shone through your window and you rolled over. You were exhausted; mentally, emotionally. Your hours were spent reprimanding yourself. Going over all your mistakes; every single choice that had led to such disaster. You sat up and rubbed your eyes. You moved slowly, your body cramped from the tension.

The grind of your coffee machine filled the apartment as you sat at your desk. A mark of your guilt. A gift from one illicit lover; another having defiled you a top it. A year ago, to think of all that had transpired, you would’ve been appalled. You were. You’d sold your integrity for fleeting pleasures. You felt cheated. By yourself more than any.

You filled a mug and grabbed your phone from beside your bed. You hadn’t looked at it since you laid down the night before. Missed calls, unanswered texts, unread emails. You answered Bucky first, a simple ‘I wasn’t feeling well. Sorry.’ Besides, he had plans with Tanya, or was busy dodging her.

You texted the same to Steve and his response was swift. Your phone vibrated as his ID flashed across the screen and you answered the call after several rings. You were weak, breathless.

“Hey,” You said quietly and sipped your coffee.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked.

“Fine,” You lied poorly. “Work’s kept me busy and… I guess it’s gotten ahead of me.”

“Oh,” He uttered. “Any plans today?”

“Rest,” You shrugged and sat back in your chair. “After I sort through all my work emails and catch up.”

“Bucky?” He asked.

“I… I’m tired.” You grumbled. “I… need a break.”

“I’m sure work would understand if you took a day to yourself.” Steve said.

“No, no, I can’t do that,” You said suddenly. “I wasn’t talking about work.”

“What do you--”

“You shouldn’t be calling me. You should call Kylie. See how she’s doing.” You interrupted. “And Bucky should worry about his students. About marking and whatever. And I need to think about myself and my job.” You stood and paced around the small space of your apartment. “I’m sorry but… you said it yourself. It’s okay to be selfish, so I’m going to be selfish and think about my future because fucking old men isn’t going to get me anywhere.”

You hung up before he could respond. And then your heart sank. Why had you said that? It all had spilled from you so quickly. You cringed and your phone began to buzz again. It was Steve. You let out a shaky breath and dismissed the call. You set your phone to do not disturb’ and tossed it on your bed. Maybe your words were rash but it didn’t make them any less true.

💋

Monday. You walked into Adder Press with a pit in your stomach. You were jittery from more than your morning coffee. You gripped the strap of your bag tightly as you passed Stacey. Everything around you seemed distant, obscured by the haze that fell over you. You sat at your desk, numb, and began to set out your stuff as you always did. In a desperate attempt to make it all feel normal again.

As you waited for your computer to boot, you felt a subtly weight on the back of your chair. You looked up at Loki as he gripped the chair and smirked down at you. You blanched and your pen slipped from your hand. He bent to grab it before you could and as he rose, he dragged the lid against your leg. He held it out and you snatched it from him.

“Morning meeting in five,” He said as he stood before you. “Then I wanted to go over layout with you. A useful lesson if you ever hope to be anything more than a freelancer. You have to have a good eye… for detail.”

You gulped and nodded. “Yes, okay, yeah.” You set the pen down on your desk. “Five minutes.”

He winked and left you there to stew in your shame. You glanced around but no one else seemed to notice your tense interaction. They were all too concerned with their own schedules, their own presence at the meeting. Really, who cared much about the summer intern?

You were antsy as you walked into the conference room. You hid between Vanessa, a political pundit, and Jory, who covered local business stories. Loki sat near the head of the table as the marketing head went over the final prints of the Pride issue. You folded your hands before you but couldn’t concentrate. 

Your eyes wandered from the powerpoint and you found the editor-in-chief peering over at you. Another sinister grin sent a chill through you. You looked back to the screen and prayed for the day to go quickly. Your heart felt as if it would explode.

When you broke out, you dragged your feet and were the last out of the room. You lingered at your desk as you grabbed your notebook and pen. Loki’s office beckoned to you ominously. He stood in the doorway watching you; waiting for you. You neared him as his lips curled.

He shut the door and you jumped at the click. He brushed past you before he rounded his desk. He pulled a chair with him and placed it beside his. He waved you over. You took a breath and crossed to him. As you sat, he pinched your ass and you pressed your lips together to keep from yelping.

His hand settled on your thigh as his other moved his mouse. He opened a page from last month’s issue and kept his eyes on the screen as he kneaded your leg. “We’ll go over composition. How to draw the reader’s eye and using layout to enhance your words.”

You nodded stiffly and shakily opened your notebook. He kept his hand on your thigh as you place the book on his desk and uncapped your pen. He circled the title with his cursor, entirely unfazed by your discomfort. His fingers slipped closer to your pelvis.

“Titles are easy but you’ll want to position them according to article type as well. Is it an editorial? Review? Reflective?” He continued. “Now, most editors would leave this to marketing and such but… I try to be hands on with every aspect of my business. My seal is on every page, ever word, that goes out.”

You scribbled down a jumble of words as his hand slid between your thighs and he squeezed. You flinched and he let out a soft chuckle under his breath. You kept your wide eyes on the monitor and he carried on his lesson. His hand never quite reaching its target. He was teasing you. Asserting the new power he held over you.

When he finished his spiel, he drew away and turned his chair to face you. His legs were far apart and you tried not to look at the obvious bulge in his pants. You kept your head down as you slipped your notebook down onto your lap. 

“I’ve got an important lunch date tomorrow,” He said. “I should like you to accompany me, darling.”

You peeked up at him. “Okay.”

“Sceptre Press is looking to expand its mediums. The director of Celestial has agreed to discuss a partnership.” He said coolly.

“Oh?” You breathed. “They… do podcasts?”

“Mostly,” He confirmed. “But, my dear, do wear something nice. A skirt.”

You crossed your legs. Your straight-cut pants felt thin enough. “Alright.”

“No panties.” He licked his lips. “Our little secret… well, another one, yeah?”

“Okay.” You said. You bit down and your pen rolled out of your grasp once more. 

His eyes followed the pen and flicked back to you. “Well, go on,” He mused. “Very… clumsy today.”

You bent to retrieve your pen and he caught the back of your head. He held you there and rolled his chair closer so that his lap was only inches from your face. He snickered as you tried to pull away but quickly gave up. His other hand stretched over his crotch and he grasped his erection through the thin fabric of his trousers.

“I could make you do it right now,” He slithered. “Hmm?”

“Yes,” You uttered. 

“I’m tempted,” He rubbed himself and shifted his hand as he pushed you closer. “Kiss it.” You closed your eyes and kissed his bulge. He shivered and let you go. You sat up, dizzy, and he grinned at you. “Not yet.” He preened. “But I do have to take care of this…” He ran his hand across his lap again. “So if you would excuse me. I am certain you have work to catch up on.”

You stood and back away slowly. “Yes, sir.” You turned as you rounded the desk.

“Sir? I like that,” He called from behind you as you neared the door. “Oh, darling, one more thing.”

You spun back to him and shielded your chest with your notebook. “Yes?”

“I’ll need some inspiration so before you sit down, go to the lav and take a nice photo for me.” He made a show of unzipping his pants behind his desk. “I bet you’re wearing a sweet little white bra, aren’t you? Maybe a precious pink number?”

Your throat tightened as you stared back at him. “Okay.” You forced out. “Is that all?”

“For now,” He shooed you away with a wave of his fingers. “As you will.”

💋

You had few skirts to choose from. You settled on a lavender one that ended just above your knees. With it, you wore a blouse with a Peter Pan collar and a grey blazer with three-quarter length sleeves. It wasn’t as enticing as any other outfit you owned; which was not at all. Perhaps that would work in your favour.

When you arrived at the bistro, Loki waved you ahead of him as you followed the hostess to your booth. You slid across the bench first and he was close behind. He took out his phone and checked it before he set it face down on the table. He asked for water and nothing else.

Your leg shook under the table nervously. He grabbed your thigh to still you. The waitress returned and he thanked her, his hand still on your leg. When she departed, his fingers slowly gathered your skirt. You reached to pull it back and he tssked.

“Our associate has informed me she’s running late.” He grinned. “About twenty minutes or so.” You squirmed as his hand slipped beneath your hem. “I think we can fill our time accordingly.”

“L--Mr. Laufeyson,” You gasped. “Someone might see.”

“They’d have to be watching us very closely,” He leaned against you as his fingers crawled along the top of your thigh. “Now,” He shoved his hand between your legs roughly. “Let’s have some fun, darling.”

You parted your legs reluctantly and he tickled along your cunt. You grabbed the edge of the table and your eyes searched frantically. The other diners were occupied with their own meals, their own company. You felt as invisible as you had back at the office. He rubbed you slowly. He lifted his glass with his other hand as he continued.

“After our meeting, I think we’ll head back to the office and call a conference. We’ll need ideas for prospective podcasts,” He swirled his fingertips and you let out a long breath between your teeth. “Of course, if this all goes to plan.”

You whimpered as you felt yourself getting wet. His fingers glided easily along your folds as he spread your arousal. You planted your elbow on the table and held your chin as you bit your lip. Mortified, you tried to hide your face.

“Uh uh,” He grabbed your wrist and shoved it down as his fingers dipped inside you. “Look at me.”

You leaned back against the booth as you looked over at him. He smirked as he moved his fingers steadily in and out of you. He pressed his palm to your clit and the sensation made your legs shake again.

“Is this what you like? Sneaking around?” He taunted. “Is this what he does, hmm? Or maybe he bends you over his desk?”

“Mr. Lauf--” You swallowed down a moan and clapped your hand over your mouth.

“I can see it in your eyes. I can feel it,” He sped up and your thighs squeezed his hand. “Are you going to cum? Here in front of everyone? In the middle of this restaurant?”

Your eyes rounded and you grabbed his shoulder pleadingly. You couldn’t speak, afraid you would cry out instead.

“You like being a naughty little girl, don’t you?” He curled his fingers and you heard a subtle squelch as your walls twitched around him. 

You bared your teeth and latched onto his arm. You rocked your hips without thinking as you came. You let out a shuddery breath and he slid his fingers out of your cunt, sure to drag them along your folds. He untangled his arm from your grasp and you fell back against the seat and pushed down your skirt.

He raised his hand and ran his wet fingers over your lips. He pressed against your mouth until you opened it. He stared into your eyes as he made you suck your own cum off his knuckles. He withdrew them and used a napkin to wipe away your saliva.

“It is a pity, however, that this lunch should set you behind, darling,” He crossed his legs and drank from his water again. “You will have to stay late tonight… to catch up.”

“Yes, sir,” You ceded.

He smirked and looked around. A moment of silence before he perked up and stood. He buttoned his jacket so it hid his bulge and greeted the tall woman who approached you. He shook her hand with the same one he’d just had between your legs. You stood in kind. Your legs felt weak.

“Valerie,” He purred. “Thank you for fitting us in today.”

“Us?” She looked between you. “And sorry about the delay. Traffic was… traffic.”

“My intern,” He introduced you by name, “She’s shadowing me for the day. To get an idea of the business and all its little quirks.”

You shook her hand and you sat down as she did the same. The server was quick to appear and offer you menus. You eagerly took yours, hoping to hide behind it for the rest of the meal. Especially as that familiar and irresistible tingle nestled in your core.

#summertime sadness #kiss me in the d-a-r-k #stever rogers #Bucky Barnes #loki fic #dark steve rogers #dark bucky barnes #dark loki #steve rogers x reader #bucky barnes x reader #loki x reader #dark!steve rogers #dark!bucky barnes #dark bucky barnes x reader #dark steve rogers x reader #dark!loki #dark!bucky barnes x reader #dark!steve rogers x reader #dark!loki x reader #dark!fic #Dark Fic #Fic #au #series #Sequel #marvel #MCU #captain america

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

The End of the Line – Update and You Asked, I Told (Part 1 of 2)

Hi, friends! I have completed my move and gotten settled in to my new apartment and state and job, so I’m back here to answer some Asks and give a writing update.

In the past couple of months, I’ve somehow managed to crank out about 45,000 words of BW. All the way to the end. Yep. BW is DONE. I literally cannot believe it. It needs some quality time with the beta, and I want to catch up on answering comments, so I’m (tentatively) planning to post the rest of the chapters on Veterans Day, 11/11/2020. I remember commenting to someone that I would have the whole fic done by Veterans day 2018 but hahahahahahaha [sob]. As of right now, I believe it’s going to be three more chapters, and you can decide if you want to binge them or draw it out. I’m also planning to do a select list of works consulted, but I will probably attach that to the BW timeline when I get it done rather than tack it onto the end of BW.

I’ve also started outlining a new fic that I’m excited about. It’s a BuckyCap canon divergence story that’s been percolating in my mind for a few years and has done about 400 evolutions. I was planning to move on to an AIDS fic, but that would require so, so much research, and honestly, I’m researched out after BW. I need a break. But there will be some similar themes, so if you’re here for more emoshy angst, there’s more coming your way. In first person!

I’ve cleaned out my Tumblr inbox and am posting my Ask answers in two batches. I’m feeling less quarantined out and consumed with my move, so I’m going to continue working toward being more responsive more quickly. Moving forward, I might just answer the asks as they come up rather than batching them. I dunno.

The following contain spoilers for everything up to the latest chapter of BW. 

Starting with some love (thank you!) and progressing to questions. 

Oh, thank you so much! I’m thrilled that you’re enjoying it alkfjalfjsakjf!

Thank you so much! It’s something I’m seriously considering, actually. Although I could never publish BW the way it is (it’s far, far, FAR too long for any publisher to pick up as-is), I am planning to go through the manuscript after this and re-write the essential story in hopes of de-Marveling it and shopping it around. I’ve been playing around with the idea of even trying first person, since the character voices are so strong, but I love close third a lot too, so I’ll have to play around with it.

I appreciate your patience, and I’m so happy that you’re into it enough to wait so long for the damn thing to come out!

I’ve written a lot of layers into the story in hopes that it will have decent re-read value – for those brave enough to read a 700k word fic more than once. But honestly, it’s so complicated sometimes that even I lose track of all the things I’ve woven in throughout. Part of it is that it’s a very different animal from where I started, both in terms of story and style, and I had some places I planned to go but then diverted, so there may be artifacts of old ideas floating around, I’m sure!

You’re so right that the avoidance response is unbelievably strong for them, and part of their relationship goals (in my mind, anyway) is for them to be more direct in expressing what’s going on with them and what they need. As for the photo album, I can totally imagine this playing out – a nice family get together, some familial razzing, a highly triggered person trying to keep his shit together, but it’s Bucky, and emotion regulation is still not a very strong suit for him. So, presto. Awful picture night shenanigans.

As for Steve and his judgement call here, I agree that it’s definitely not the best. But I kind of wanted to show him as also being a vulnerable person who is struggling with this and wants relief from it. I think it’s more typical in fic to have one person is traumatized and the other who is this unwavering, grounded rock that is relatively unaffected by their loved one’s trauma and can provide appropriate support. Which is great! People like this absolutely exist. But this stuff with Bucky has really fucked Steve up, too, in addition to having his own trauma. He’s also feeling very distant from Bucky now, and one of the ways that they have historically gotten close is to have sex. It’s their go-to coping strategy as a couple. Don’t talk, fuck. So I thought it made sense that, on this night of vulnerability, they might resort to that.

(See Baghdad Waltz Timeline ) Yeah, he was twelve, which is right before his family moved to New York. I’ve been sprinkling the episode around many chapters and don’t plan to go into a whole lot more detail about it TBH. It’s not essential to know all of the details, I don’t think. However, more will be revealed about Bucky and Jack’s relationship and how Bucky feels about him/felt about him, so hopefully that can provide a little context for it. Bucky has a lot of conflicting feelings about Jack and what happened to him, so we are forced to look at it through the eyes of a highly unreliable narrator. I hope future chapters (or chapters after this Ask was sent), will shed a little light on this.

You’re spot on that Bucky totally minimizes it. Especially with Steve, knowing that Steve both needs to roughly know and probably will lose his mind if he knows the whole story. It was a brutal beating with some significant injuries that needed extra medical attention. As a side note, Bucky undoubtedly lied about having any surgeries, etc. in order to get into the Army.

Thank you so much! I’m fully aware how emotionally exhausting this story can be, and I’m never quite sure whether or not to be apologetic about it. I’m not aiming to sensationalize anything or manipulate feelings out of readers or characters, truly. My guiding star is asking, okay, given everything, what would happen next? Not necessarily what *I* want to happen next, but what would these characters do now? Certainly I throw some circumstances in their way, but a lot of the emotional and relational responses to these are me trying to unflinchingly show what would happen with these two particular people with these two particular psychologies and histories. 

As we can see, for as much as they love each other, this relationship is highly problematic. And these people are really struggling individually. I do try to show the good parts too, to balance things out, because I don’t want to shy away from those either. I’m always hopeful that the balance doesn’t become so out of whack that people nope out of the story.

Oh my God, I know. I think about that sometimes as well. Bucky was a highly skilled military professional, though I do wonder if this is one of the only environments that would have allowed him to avoid his own trauma quite this well. The military is such an all-encompassing career, one where, especially at higher ranks, you work ALL. THE. TIME. When you’re working all the time, when everything is about the men, about these extremely intense deployment experiences, there’s very little room for the past to creep in. It’s the perfect avoidance strategy. 

Moreover, the highly rigorous structure was excellent for Bucky, who tends to spiral out if he’s not operating within very firm boundaries. A lot of people with emotion regulation problems like Bucky’s can do very well in the military because of this. But when he lost that, so violently, it was the perfect catalyst for everything to come careening back to him. Especially when he really toned down the drinking. This is life for a lot of veterans, though certainly not all, or even most. But Bucky’s relationship with the military was absolutely symbiotic, yes. It is sad.

This is one of Bucky’s attempts to earn favor with his new friends in New York, so good catch on the lie. Someone with an affectionate nickname obviously must have been liked, right? The last thing he wanted to do was have a repeat of his experience in Kentucky, so he put on a very good show and bullshat his way into a good social situation in New York. It’s not really bullshit though, because he’s a likable person. But I imagine he assessed the way he was, quiet, thoughtful, sweet, and probably decided nope, I’m not gonna be those things here. Not again. Some of the stuff, like his thoughtfulness and sweetness, couldn’t really be suppressed. But he did a lot of impression management in New York, including the creation of this nickname for himself.

Now, on to Part Two! See you there. 

#YOU ASKED I TOLD #asks #send me asks #baghdad waltz

[19mrs-barnes17]

As Long As I Can Get -  Chapter Two: Fairfield

Summary: Y/N Fairfield has spent the last 10 years pushing past all the hurt and putting all her focus into her career. A familiar face back in town threatens the peace she found. [prompt: Small Town Lovers AU]

Part: 2/5

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader (AU)

Warnings: at a hospital, mentions of death and abandonment

Word count: 3,198

A/N: It’s been a wild week but here it is, chapter two! Enjoy! Special thanks to @wxntersoldiers​ for beta reading.

~

“Y/N? You think you could pick up my shift tonight? Missy is running a fever and I can’t get ahold of my mother to come take care of her.” Holding the phone away from her face Y/N sighed heavily as she rolled out of bed.

“Of course Dawn, just call in for me and tell them I’m on my way would ya? Thanks, it’s no biggie. I’m happy to help, let me know how Missy is doing later.” Hanging up the phone she’s up and changing in a flash, quickly moving across her apartment and back. 

Within 6 minutes she’s in her scrubs and locking her apartment door, rushing down the stairs and out the front in another 3. She slides into the driver's seat, buckles in, and on the road to the highway in record time. 

This was becoming a routine every week, someone would have an emergency and she’d be asked to pick up the slack. Her regular shifts at the ER in town kept her busy through the day, but her Thursday or Friday nights were often filled up by favors and desperate calls. She had a limit though, each person could only ask her one favor a month and she would cover one emergency. But when the emergencies came she could tell when they were real or just another masked favor. So by now the only emergency usually came from a mother whose kid was hurt or sick. 

Pulling into the employee parking lot, she exited her car and speed walked into the building, making her way to the sign in at the station. She prayed this would be a tame night and that Dawn didn’t have any difficult new patients because she was far too tired to argue about something that she was more of an expert on. 

Covering for Dawn was usually not too bad, most of her patients typically being older and gentle folk who treated her like a loving grandkid. Always gave her some nickname, rarely ever calling her nurse or even her name. All of which was fine by her.

Being a nurse hadn’t always come easy for her, remembering all the medications, the proper doses, the schedules, and how to do every aspect of her job was a lot to take in. But the moments in which she connected with a patient were the reason she got into the specific role in the medical field. Well that and her father.

Most of her family had joined the field, all three of her brothers had either become paramedics or a physical therapist. Her mother was the chief physician at the ER in Brightbarrow and her father was a private care nurse typically working with elderly or terminal members of the town. On a few occasions he had brought her along to see his patients, acting as a distraction for those who were living with severe pain. Through these visits in her childhood she began to realize how she enjoyed helping people who were hurting, and giving them a sense of peace for a little while.

One college degree later and she was back in town applying to work in the ER, her scheduled shifts hardly ever including weekends unless someone needed a cover and she was the only one who could spare the time. Her work there was routine, but here at this hospital outside town? She had found some gentle souls that brightened her day.

“Oh my, is that you Sunshine?” Claudia was sitting up in the hospital bed, remote in her hand to flip through the limited channels. “What a lovely surprise.”

“How are we tonight? Take our medicine okay today?” Claudia smirks and nods, the crinkles in the corners of her eyes forming as a flicker of mischief shines in her eyes. “Mhhmm.”

“I have somethin’ for ya sunshine. Made it yesterday when they let me do some crafts.” Claudia reaches to the table rolled off to the side of her bed and picks up a bracelet with rainbow thread. Y/N walks over to the woman and allows her to gently tie off the multicolored bracelet around her wrist. “There, perfect size.”

“Thank you Claudia, that’s awfully kind of you.” A smile is shared between the two before Y/N motions for her to hand over the remote. “Now how about we shut this off and I read you a little something so you can doze off, sound good?”

“Only if it's that one you told me about, the one with the little guys.” Y/N chuckled at the description but nodded in agreement nonetheless as she powered down the television and left to get her novel. 

“Alright get comfy now.” She waited for Claudia to adjust her bed and helped her with the pillows before cracking open the small book and beginning the tale. “In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit.”

“Ah that’s what they were, that’s right. Hobbits.”

At the end of her shift Y/N was exhausted and ready for bed, doing her best to keep wide awake on her drive back by playing her dad’s favorite rock station. Thankfully it did the trick and she made it into town without issue, turning down the volume and switching stations as she made her way through the town like she’d done a million times before.

Turning onto her street she was perplexed to notice a man walking the sidewalks this late in the night, his movements slow and steady. The closer she got to him the sooner she realized she knew exactly who the man was and she had some theories about what was keeping him up so late. Pulling to the side of the road she exited her car, slamming the door shut behind her before glancing up to meet the gaze of a man she hadn’t seen in ages.

Bucky Barnes stood across the street staring at her like he’d seen a ghost, his features painted with something along the lines of guilt or sorrow. The man was frozen in place by her, his eyes watching as she raised a sleepy hand to wave at her old friend. To her surprise he waved back and yet he didn’t move a muscle as she turned away from him to head to bed. 

The next morning she woke late, the Saturday sun shining through the cracks of her blinds stirring her from her sleep. Her stomach grumbled, craving some of Winifred Barnes’ cooking ASAP. Instead of driving she opted to walk over there, let the sun and the exercise wake her a little more.

Winnie’s Diner was the town staple, the place that every person went at least a few times a week. It was the kind of business that had become the heart of the town, the comfort and hospitality center. If you wanted to get a feel for the town you didn’t have to look any further than this diner, it was where Y/N had gotten her first job. She had one of her first dates in a corner booth and had been stood up in another. This building was a hub of memories, good and bad.

“Hey Y/N! Have a seat. I'll be right with you girl.” Becca was zooming around the place in a graceful hurry, placing plates and clearing tables as she went. “What can I get ya?”

“A coffee, a biscuit, some bacon, and an update. Please.” She watched as her best friend shook her head with a reluctant nod before dropping off the order. 

Once the coffee was poured she told her brother she was taking her 15 and slid into the other half of the booth. Y/N sat patiently, prepping her coffee as she waited for Becca to collect her thoughts.

“He’s back for good, got a job working for Thomas Geldin constructing those new homes over by your parent’s house.” Sipping her coffee Y/N did her best not to allow her emotions to betray her. 

“What changed?” 

“Not sure. He seems different, like his load is heavier. Almost like he was when Daddy died, just emotionally cut off and distant. But he is making an effort to get closer and he comes in here every day for his lunch break. Which is in a few minutes now.” Y/N coughed, nearly choking on her coffee as her eyes went wide. 

“Sneak.”

“Hey don’t look at me, you two just are fated to dine at the same time.” Becca smirks before rushing off to grab something to eat before her break ends. 

She hadn’t actually spoken a word to Bucky since he came back to town, and yet he suddenly lived across the street and worked by her old home. Now he would be here within minutes and she would once more feel compelled to initiate conversation, but she wouldn’t let herself. If he wanted to talk he would approach her, not the other way around. 

He arrived the same time her food did, his eyes scanning the room to presumably locate his sister but freezing on Y/N who sat before her. A mixture of emotions flashed across his features rapidly before settling on a guilt ridden expression. Bucky approached the booth, his sister pausing to greet him and casting a wink over her shoulder before speeding away. Standing before the booth he shifted his weight nervously as he seemed at a loss for what to say. His eyes are no longer able to maintain contact and he casts them to the empty seat.

Don’t invite him. Don’t invite him. It took all her strength to refrain from being polite, her eyes never leaving him as her gaze intensified.

“Mind if I join you?” Her heart dropped, she was expecting a simple hello or quick apology and not a full on meal with the guy. She nodded her head, refusing to take the bait just yet as he slid into the booth.

“Here’s your usual James.” Becca slid a plate with a steak and cheese melt and fries onto the table before rushing off again. She was pushing him, Y/N knew that his mother and the older townspeople were the only ones who used his actual name. To everyone else he was Bucky. 

“I’m sorry about not keeping in touch, there’s been a lot that I had to work through the past 10 years.” God she could hardly believe it had been that long since he left, an entire decade had passed by without him. “Can we start again?”

Once more she had to use all her might to restrain herself from instantly agreeing and forgiving what he had done. She didn’t understand why he cut her off so quickly and completely, their friendship wilting through high school and fading in the decade following. But she knew why he had become so emotionally reserved, after watching his father wither away slowly and gradually lose the ability to even function Bucky had begun to close himself off from everyone. He smiled less, got into more trouble with other kids, and barely made it enough to enlist. 

Sure she had missed him dearly and knew he had suffered greatly, probably even worse after his service, but she couldn’t risk getting too quickly attached again. Not when she knew how much his leaving her behind tore her apart. 

“I’ll have to think about it.” She could see her words striking a nerve within him, his appetite diminishing. “But I’d like to.”

His eyes snap up to meet hers, relief flooding them as he gazes at her fondly. Y/N wanted desperately to forget it all but she knew that proceeding with caution was the best course of action. She would let him have the opportunity to rectify his past mistakes, but it was up to him to take it.

“City noise or quiet town?” He knit his brow and gave her a perplexed look before taking a bite of a fry. “Pick one.”

“I’m not sure I have a preference anymore.”

“But you had one.”

“City noise.” She shook her head with a small smile, curiosity overtaking her careful approach. “Drowned everything out.”

“Patty’s coffee or city coffee?”

“Patty will forever have the world’s best coffee. No one in New York believed me, kept saying European coffee was where it was at.” 

“I’m going to move on before I get so offended I bring her coffee to New York.” Bucky laughed lightly, eyes crinkling shut as he shook his head at her. The sound warmed her heart and she could already tell this was going to be hard not to fall into. 

His break eventually comes close to an end and he has to rush back to work but leaves a napkin with his phone number behind. She shook her head at the gesture, he knew full well that she and Becca were very close friends and she could have gotten his number from his sister. One point to him for ensuring she had it. 

Becca was off at 3 so Y/N spent her time walking around the book shop, glancing at summaries and running her fingers over the spines. Her mind was far too crowded to pick anything out, focused on how she was going to make it through this renewal of friendship after so much pain. This place usually put her at ease, the sight of the full shelves and atmosphere calming her active mind. But today her mind had won and so she wandered around town until she had nowhere else to go but home. 

A knock sounded on her door an hour or two later and an exhausted Becca made her way inside to fall onto the couch and groan dramatically.

“I take it we’re getting pizza from Toni’s tonight?” This catches the attention of her best friend who suddenly perks right up.

“And wine.” Y/N opens her fridge door and pulls out a bottle, holding it up for Becca to see and receives a nod of approval.

“Pull up netflix and I’ll order the pizza.”

Several glasses of wine and pieces of pizza later the two are sitting on the floor going through a shoebox full of old memories. Memories of their friendship. 

“Oh remember this?” Becca holds up two ticket stubs, one to their high school dance and the other to see a Panic! concert. 

“We showed up in full formal wear, not thinking to pack another outfit to change into.” Y/N dug in the box and produced a photo of the two from that night, Panic! at the Disco tour shirts over their dresses. “I can’t believe we didn’t get caught until your mom saw the shirt in your laundry.”

“Almost the perfect crime. Kind of dumb of us to pay the money for the ticket when we never even went to the dance though.” The two fell into a fit of giggles and struggled to compose themselves. “We were not the best planners apparently.”

“Are you kidding? The College Bar Crawl fiasco?” 

“Oh Jesus, yeah we really should have thought through where we were going to end up staying the night. Next time we do something, we need a fully thought out plan.” 

“Agreed. It’s too dangerous for us to do any less. We might end up in Europe and somehow married.” Becca falls flat on her back as laughter bubbles through her, her head turning and spotting another box under the bed.

“What is this?” She slides the box out and removes the lid before Y/N can stop her, her fingers gingerly sifting through the contents as a smile tugs at her lips. “Oh, you’re a sentimental sap.”

“Gee thanks.” 

Inside were pictures of her, Bucky, and Steve throughout the few years they were all together. She instantly gravitated toward them when she moved to town at 8, sick of being the new girl and ready to settle into a place. They stuck up for her when she was mocked by some older kids, Bucky and Steve became her dearest friends in only a few years. 

There were more photos of her and Steve together, seeing as he was the only one out of the two boys to keep her in his life. Pictures of them at his prom, no girl seemed to see past his physical change and so he invited her. She remembered how her parents felt about that night, so proud of who they thought she was choosing to be with. A boy who was going to college, who had aspirations but remained loyal to his town. One with a kind heart and a gentle soul. She knew what they expected from the night, but they never understood that she and Steve were simply good friends and nothing more.

The photos of her and Bucky begin to dwindle around when she was 13, the year after his father died. Slowly Bucky grew apart from her and Steve, more the former than the latter. Something after her birthday party that year changed everything and she began to lose him piece by piece until he finally enlisted and left altogether. 

She held a photo of the two of them between her fingers, eyes tearing up at the sight of their smiles. It was the day of her party, when she could still make him smile and forget about his troubles even if just for a moment. Bucky had both arms around her torso, his head resting on her shoulder and a bright smile on his face. Her cheek was against his face, hands and arms resting on his forearms with a dopey big smile stretched across her face. 

“I swear I could kill that boy for what he did. I get losing touch while overseas, but cutting you out of his life while still in the same small town? That’s just cruel.” Becca sighed and took the photo from Y/N’s hands, placing everything back in the boxes before sliding both back under. “And to think I used to believe he liked you.”

“That would have made things worse.” 

“C’mon let’s forget about that punk and eat some chocolate.” Y/N leaned into Becca as she was held by her, sighing deeply. “You’ll always have me, and Steve. That boy would rather dive face first out of an airplane than ditch a friend.” 

“Ain’t that the truth.”

After Becca left Y/N spent some time cleaning up after their roller-coaster of a night. Her body was tired but her mind was far too active to rest. Thoughts of what she lost sticking in her brain as she watched out the window as Bucky exited his townhouse and began to walk aimlessly in the night. She almost wanted to join him, not speaking just walking.

Instead she readied herself for bed, lying under the covers and staring out the window at the stars. Her mind traveled to something Bucky once told her about his dad and how if he found the North Star then he would never be alone, because someone else was always looking too. 

And she knew exactly who that was.

~

Tags: @asphalt-cocktail​ @qtmeryr​ @broken-hearted-barnes​ @cantnkrusshedevil​ @gstran18​

#marvel #beautiful #small town lovers au #james buchanan barnes #Bucky Barnes #bucky #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #justtryingtowrite #writing challenge

[winteriron-trash]

Hold You While You Sleep (Or, 5 Times Tony Cuddled Up With Bucky & The 1 Time Bucky Cuddled Up With Tony)

So, I haven’t been active on this blog besides some vague reblogs in a hot minute. I have excuses, but I also have a fluffy 5+1 cuddling fic, so take that instead. Enjoy. 

Ao3 Link

-

Bucky didn’t like cuddling.

It wasn’t that he had anything against it, per se, but rather that he just didn’t like it. Getting used to positive human contact was already hard enough. Cuddling was on a whole different level of awkward and confusing and terrifying.

Too bad Tony didn’t seem to care.

Admittedly, it was partly Bucky’s fault. First, for ending up in bed with Tony, and second, for not leaving Tony’s bed. 

It wasn’t the first time they’d fucked, but it was the first time Bucky didn’t leave right after.

Bucky didn’t know what to call their relationship. They sat in awkward, forced silence whenever they had to be together. Bucky wasn’t even sure how they ended up fucking, but the sex was good enough for both of them, so they didn’t bother to stop. It at least made Bucky’s arm maintenance bearable, knowing he’d get sex afterwards.

So when Tony clung to him like an octopus when Bucky decided to stay the night, Bucky really didn’t know what to think. He figured it was too late to leave, and it’d be too awkward to push Tony off of him.

Bucky didn’t like cuddling, but he also didn’t like being rude. 

At least Tony was warm. 

-

The second time it happened, Bucky expected it. He wasn’t ready for it, but he expected it. 

As soon as he turned off the light and pulled the covers over himself, Tony took it as a cue to wrap himself around Bucky and faceplant into Bucky’s shoulder.

“Do you have to do that?” Bucky grumbled, despite the embarrassed flush of his cheeks. “It’s hot.”

Tony made a grunting noise. “My bed, my rules. You wanna stay the night after a quickie, you deal with me.”

Bucky couldn’t help the laugh that escaped him. “We went at it for an hour, and you call that a quickie?”

“Shut up and go to sleep,” Tony grumbled against Bucky’s skin.

Bucky smiled, feeling himself relax a bit. Maybe cuddling wasn’t so bad, otherwise, he wouldn’t have still been there. Cuddling was just cuddling, no matter who it was with.

Right?

-

Bucky didn’t really know how or why, but he ended up sleeping in Tony’s bed even on nights they hadn’t had sex. If Tony wasn’t in bed or even close to going to bed, Bucky would just curl up by himself and sleep surrounded by Tony’s scent.

It was just… nicer. Tony’s room was cooler, his bed was bigger, his blankets were softer. And he had an ungodly amount of pillows.

“You know,” Tony mumbled one night as he climbed in next to Bucky, “I can put a bed just like this one in your room if you want.” He wiggled his way into Bucky’s arms. “So I don’t annoy you when you’re trying to sleep.”

“No.” Bucky was surprised by how quickly he responded. “It’s fine. I don’t… I don’t mind you.”

Tony’s little giggle at that was surprisingly cute. “Keep talking like that Buck, and I’ll think you’re catching feelings.”

Bucky scowled. “I am not.” His tone was defensive.

Too defensive.

Tony just hummed. “Goodnight, James.”

Usually, Bucky hated being called that. It was too formal, too pretentious, too foreign. 

But god, it sounded nice on Tony’s tongue.

Bucky waited until he was sure Tony was fast asleep. Then he tightened his grip on Tony and pulled him just a bit closer. 

-

Bucky, as it turned out, was not immune to Tony’s cuddles if he wasn’t in Tony’s bed. As he found out the hard way, sprawled out on a couch in the communal living room, reading Good Omens.

The sight of Tony stumbling in with bleary eyes, messy hair, and an oil-stained shirt was… nicer than Bucky imagined it would’ve been. Calling Tony cute was something Bucky definitely wasn’t used to, but it was the first word that came to mind at the sight of it.

Tony took one look at Bucky, mumbled something unintelligible that might’ve been in a different language, and flopped down right onto Bucky’s stomach.

Bucky didn’t even have the chance to protest before Tony was out like a freaking light.

So instead he stared down blankly at Tony’s sleeping form. Tony fell asleep so fast he was in an awkward position, arm hanging off the couch and face smashed down into Bucky’s abs.

Bucky sighed.

He grabbed the throw over the back of the couch. With some awkward readjusting and finagling, Bucky managed to get Tony in a more comfortable position that wouldn’t leave him waking up with killer cramps. He topped it off with the throw blanket over Tony’s bottom half, and the content little sigh that Tony let out in his sleep made Bucky’s heart flutter.

Tony looked downright angelic, curled up against Bucky’s chest. It made Bucky’s heart twist and flutter in ways he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

Bucky didn’t understand much about feelings. But staring down at Tony’s sleeping form made him maybe consider Tony’s concept about catching them. 

Maybe.

-

Bucky didn’t look forward to much in life. He was still working on his recovery, and there were good days and bad days.

Today was a bad day.

It was the kind of day where Bucky knew his name, but it felt so distant and wrong, that it might as well have been gibberish in a different language. Nothing about his body or his head felt right, and he’d snapped one too many times at anyone who even looked at him.

So he ended up in Tony’s room. Arms folded, glaring at the wall. It took every ounce of strength to not grab the lamp sitting right next to him and hurl it at the wall.

“Well, you look like shit,” Tony said it as a bland fact as soon as he walked into the room. He slid out of his suit jacket and started to undo his tie. “Wanna fuck?”

Bucky looked at him with a harsh glower. “No.”

Despite the snap in his tone, Bucky wasn’t just saying no because he was angry.

He was saying no because he was afraid. Afraid of hurting Tony if he lost control, afraid of letting Tony see the monster that he laid in bed with. 

As much as the anger boiled beneath the surface, it was only a cover for how scared Bucky was of himself.

“Okay,” Tony said. He didn’t sound scared or turned away by Bucky’s anger which was… new. He finished stripping down to an undershirt and boxers. “I’m going to sleep. Is it okay if I touch you, or should we draw a line down the middle of the bed?”

Bucky blinked and turned to face Tony. 

Tony had never asked before. Which to be fair, Bucky had never been this close to murdering everyone before, so it was fair.

Still. Having someone ask before touching, ask about boundaries, just ask.

It was different. Even Steve didn’t do that. As hard as Steve tried, he was awful with boundaries. Bucky didn’t blame him, and he’d accepted the behaviour as normal. Understandable.

But Tony was different. Tony asked.

Everything about Tony was different, wasn’t it?

Bucky felt the anger melt away a bit. “It’s okay. We-you can cuddle… if you want.” Heat licked against Bucky’s cheeks, and he ducked his chin.

Tony smiled and shook his head. “You’re so emotionally stunted, it’s kind of cute.” He climbed into bed next to Bucky and yanked him down into the bed to cuddle. 

“What does that mean?” Bucky mumbled, turning off the lamp.

“It means you’re a hot mess, but I don’t mind,” Tony yawned and faceplanted into Bucky’s chest. “Now goodnight, James.”

Bucky blinked. “Goodnight, Tony.” He tried to ignore his voice breaking. Tony made a happy noise.

Long after Tony had fallen asleep, Bucky was still staring down at Tony’s sleeping figure, trying to understand what he meant.

He hadn’t gotten anywhere.

Bucky sighed and decided to relent and just go to sleep. Just before he closed his eyes though, he brushed his hand through Tony’s hair and gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.

Feelings were confusing. But at least they felt nice.

-

Bucky came back from a sparring session with Natasha so late, Tony was already asleep. Late-night sparring with Natasha was probably one of the most therapeutic things Bucky did, outside of actual therapy.

They never expected anything from each other except to put up a good fight. It was freeing. 

Bucky wasn’t surprised to find Tony asleep when he crept into Tony’s room. Even insomniac geniuses seemed to have bedtimes.

He was surprised to find himself a bit pouty that Tony had gone to sleep without him, though.

It meant that Tony wouldn’t cuddle into Bucky’s chest and that Bucky couldn’t fall asleep to his gentle breathing against Bucky’s skin. 

Sleeping in Tony’s bed was pointless if Bucky couldn’t sleep with Tony in it.

So when Bucky climbed into bed on the other side of where Tony was all curled up, he found himself staring at the ceiling, trying to sleep. It was harder than it should’ve been. He tossed and turned so much, it was a wonder he hadn’t woken Tony up. 

The realisation that Bucky could just be the one to cuddle Tony first took him an embarrassingly long time to figure out. 

Bucky looked at Tony’s sleeping form. Tony was so gentle, so breakable, it scared Bucky some days. Tony was beautiful, and Bucky was a hot mess.

Well, Tony would probably make some comment about being a hot mess too and how Bucky shouldn’t be so hard on himself with moping. Just the thought made Bucky smile. 

With some awkward scooting, Bucky wiggled over to Tony’s side of the bed.

He tried so, so very hard not to wake Tony as he pulled him into Bucky’s arm. He went slow and carefully as if he was working with a bomb. 

He failed.

“What the..” Tony groaned away, rubbing his eyes. “James?”

“Go back to sleep, Tony,” Bucky said, pulling him against his chest.

Tony made a noise. “I thought you didn’t like cuddling.”

“I said go to sleep.”

“Sure thing,” Tony hummed. “We should talk about this in the morning.”

Bucky kissed him on the forehead. “We will. But for now, let me hold you while you sleep.”

Tony’s smile was pressed against Bucky’s collarbone. “Gladly.”

#winteriron-trash writes #winteriron #cuddling #fluff #5+1 fic #i went hiking last weekend so my excuse is legitimate #i was climbing MOUNTAINS of course i wasn't active #i swear i'm trying to bring this blog back #but i'm also applying for jobs and like #adulting is HARD #-2/10 would not reccomend #did i ever mention i dropped out of high school too? #fun times #anyway #i hope you liked the fic #now give me attention aghhh #this is the first time i've posted a fic i wrote on my own without a prompt/post in a LONG time #god i'm bad at maintaining a blog #which is scary because i'm drawing closer and closer to 4k followers

[fanfictionaries]

Love and Academia Ch. 10 - Friends and Feelings

Pairing: AU Professor!Bucky x OFC

Warnings: Swearing, smut, NSFW/18+ only, mentions of death/violence/suicide, Angst

Author’s note: A sweet, little Steve/Natasha chapter. Super short. Super sweet. 

Just thought I’d give you guys a little Steve/Natasha interaction. I love them so much and I know some people have said how much they love them as well! So hopefully this holds you over till the next chapter is up! 

And as always, I do not currently have a beta reader so please excuse any larger issues. It’s just little ol’ me!

***

“I said, stop. Moving,” Natasha huffed, attempting to grab ahold of Steve’s wrist once again. However, just as she had it within her grasp, he moved it, too engrossed in his animated ramblings to stay still.

“I’m just saying, you should have seen the way they were looking at each other!” exclaimed Steve, waving his free hand wildly through the air for emphasis. The full movement of his other arm currently inhibited by the pair of handcuffs keeping him secured to the metal headboard. “You know, I’m happy that he finally feels like he’s in a place where he can start moving on from Diane, but I don’t think Emily is the best person to move on with. Not that I don’t think your friend is great. It’s just…I mean she’s his student.”

He had been going on about Bucky and Emily since he’d shown up to her apartment that afternoon. Early on, Natasha reminded him that what the two of them did was none of their concern. They could only be supportive, give their best advice and let them make their own decisions – they were adults. Steve agreed. But the thoughts continued to flow past his lips like word vomit.

“Aha!” she exclaimed, finally capturing his right arm and closing the cool metal around his wrist.

Completely unfazed by the full restraint of his upper body, Steve continued to ramble, “But at the same time, they do seem really great together. She makes him smile. He almost never smiles anymo—”

“Shh, shh, shh,” Natasha cooed, placing a finger to Steve’s lips and moving to straddle his lap. “I think it’s really sweet how much you care about your friend. But for now, new rule: no Bucky in our bed. Understood?”

To emphasize her point, she ran a sharp nail from his temple down to his lower abdomen, leaving a red, raw line behind. The large man shuddered underneath her, letting a small whimper out as he closed his eyes. A wave of power washed over her. She loved seeing him like this. So strong. So muscular. So pretty. So helpless. Entirely under her control.

“I said, understood?” Natasha asked again, settling her weight onto his lap fully, grinding against his budding erection.

“Yes ma’am,” Steve groaned out, breathing harsher now.

“Good boy,” she hummed, leaning forward and placing light kisses along his sharp jaw line. She was just reaching the center of his chest, the light smattering of blond chest hair tickling her lips when the silence was broken.

“I don’t know. What-what do you think?”

With a heavy sigh, Natasha sat up, looking down at the adorably sensitive man beneath her. She couldn’t bring herself to be mad at him. It was endearing how much he cared about their friends. He had a good heart and she couldn’t fault him for that – even if it did interfere with her sex life.

“Okay, if we’re going to talk about this, I have a few questions.” Steve nodded at her conditions. Scooting up his body, she seated herself on his lower stomach and ran a hand through her red curls. “Isn’t Bucky married?”

Steve seemed to grapple with the question for a few moments before answering, “Yes and no.”

“You’re either married or you’re not Stevie. Is Diane in the picture or not?” Natasha raised an eyebrow at the man below her.

Steve sighed, mouth pressed into a thin line, “No, she’s not in the picture. But Buck, he’s…he’s having a hard time coming to terms with it. I’ve tried to get him to talk to me about it, but he’s stubborn. You can’t make him talk about anything he doesn’t want to. Emotions included.”

“Well that explains the wedding ring. It sounds like he’s not allowing himself to reach the sixth step of rebuilding after divorce – acceptance.” Natasha tapped her fingers against the hard muscle of Steve’s chest as she thought.

“I think he’s moving towards acceptance, but he still refuses to talk about what happened in-depth. It’s like he’s trying to cope with it in his own way, which I understand but—”

“You can’t force him to talk about it. People process things in their own way. If what you say is true and he’s starting to come to grips with it, even if it’s in a way you don’t understand, you have to let him. It might not be the healthiest way, but he is making an effort,” said Natasha, her heart going out to the soft, kind man. He cared so much. Clearly, he wanted to fix Bucky’s problems for him, but unfortunately that’s not the way things worked.

“You’re right. You’re right. He’s an adult. I have to let him make his own decisions.”

Natasha nodded, but felt overwhelmed by confliction. As much as she had preached staying out of the situation, now that she knew Bucky wasn’t actually married, she was tempted to tell Emily. It would certainly sooth the woman’s conscience. No matter how many times she tried to tell Emily that she was not to blame, she knew it still bothered her. Emily had some hang ups, most likely due to a childhood she refused to share. But the biggest one seemed to be fidelity. Therefore, as a friend she felt an obligation to ease her guilt. However, it really wasn’t her place to share the information. While Steve hadn’t explicitly stated the information was private, she also knew that it wasn’t common knowledge. It might actually be a good thing that Emily still believed he was married. The last thing her best friend needed was the drama of becoming involved with an emotionally unavailable man. This thought brought her to her second question.

“Do you really think Bucky would seriously pursue Emily?”

“If you’d asked me that question ten years ago, I’d say absolutely not. He’s always been the more cautious one—”

“Oh, and you’re the reckless, wild one?” Natasha laughed.

“You’ve got me handcuffed to a bed and I let you do that…thing the other night. I’d say that’s pretty wild,” said Steve, an impressive blush spreading across his whole upper body.

“Mmmmm, if I recall correctly, you thoroughly enjoyed ‘that thing’,” Natasha replied impishly, rubbing her palms over his chest.

“Maybe I did.”

“Just maybe? So, if I suggested doing that thing again tonight, you’d be against it?”

“Let’s not get too ahead of ourselves,” said Steve playfully, lifting his hips to unseat the woman above him.

She fell forward, letting out a small yelp when her lower body slid down his torso till her center landed flush against his mouth. The yelp quickly dissolved into a moan. His tongue snaking out to give a long, warm lick over her lace covered folds; teeth nipping at her clit. Reaching a hand down, Natasha shifted her panties to the side and the conversation of Bucky and Emily to the backburner.

***

Steve stared down at the woman in his arms, breathing deeply as she slept. Moonlight shown through the gap in the curtain, falling perfectly over her face. She was beautiful. Beautiful and strong and supportive and kind. She was all of those things and most surprisingly, she was his. Or at least, he wanted her to be. They hadn’t ‘the talk’ yet. Hell, they’d only just become intimate. It might be too soon, but Steve was ready to commit. More ready than he ever thought he’d be after Peggy. Now, knowing what he had with Nat, what he felt with Nat, his relationship with Peggy felt trivial.

Peggy was his high school sweetheart.  He had loved her. She had loved him. But they’d never really fit like he and Nat did. Where Peggy had been rigid and unmoving, Nat was compromising. Where Peggy had been serious, Nat was fun. Peggy had been career driven; Nat was emotion driven – just like him. Natasha appealed more to the reckless side of him, while Peggy always seemed to be reeling it in, trying to tone him down. It wasn’t like he was that crazy; he was a kindergarten teach for crying out loud! Still, there was a part of him that wanted adventure, to push his limits. Natasha wanted all those same things. She made him laugh. She kept him on his toes. She cared. Really cared. When she’d shown up to his school’s bake sale with two large containers of cookies and a nervous smile, his heart had skipped a beat. She was smart. So smart. She always knew the perfect thing to say and she really listened.

“I love you.” He spoke the words softly, letting the sound and feel of them settle in his mouth.

“Do you always tell girls you love them when you think they’re sleeping?” Natasha murmured, a small smile forming on her lips.

Steve’s heart stopped. He was mortified. His whole body went rigid, unsure of what to do or say. He thought for sure she was asleep. The words were true and genuine, but he wasn’t ready for her to hear them. It was way too early to say, ‘I love you’. Yet, here he was – the idiot that said it and now she was going to run screaming.

Moving closer to him, nuzzling her face into his chest, she placed a kiss to his pec, “Calm down big boy. I love you too.”

Letting out the breath he’d been holding, he wrapped his arms tighter around her. Pulling her close, he kissed the top of her head, breathing in the soft scent of her. Joy and content overtook him, carrying him off into a blissful sleep. The distant echo of her words repeating in his mind:

I love you.

Love and Academia Taglist:

@is-it-madness​

Marvel Taglist: 

@caffiend-queen​

@hidden-behind-the-fourth-wall​

#love and academia #smut #fan fic #fan fiction #steve x nat #steve x natasha #steve rogers #steve rogers x natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff #fluff

[shreddedparchment]

Of Two Minds Pt. 06

You’re Not Alone

06/16/2019

Pairing: Bucky x Reader x Steve          Word Count: 7,713

Masterpost          Warnings: sexual descriptions, violence, language, ANGST!

A/N: Since there is only one or two more chapters for this one, I think I’m going to finish this one out before I go back to Parallel and the Brightest Star. That’s not to say I’m not working on either of those. I am. But I’ll focus on posting these first since it’s almost over. I hope you like this one. Also, I legit didn’t edit so, mind the typos. I’ll come back and read it tomorrow when I’m not so crosseyed. If you happen to reblog, thank you so much for helping me spread my work. xoxo

Bucky’s waiting in the small living room of the floor you share with him and Steve.

He's sitting on the sofa, black cargo covered legs spread wide. Feet flat on the ground and his hands tucked under his strong arms, crossed over his chest.

He’s not making any attempt to hide his displeasure. The rough tick in his jaw, the glare he has aimed at the TV is really for you and Steve. You know it is.

But why is he angry? Holding hands at the meeting?

When he turns it on you, that raging scowl, you release Steve’s hand as guilt builds inside your belly.

“Bucky?” You probe carefully, searching hopefully, despite his anger.

“Sounded like you were having fun. I was gonna go get you but Captain Spangled beat me there.” He’s bitter.

Oh no. Your heart stops as you realize that he must have seen. Must have heard.

What did you do?

The jealous sting in his voice you expect and the harsh glare thrown at you and Steve is more than understandable.

“Bucky…” You begin, but you don’t get much further.

“No.” He says, flat, unfeeling. For the first time in many years, you see the Winter Soldier.

The Soldat is diluted in Bucky. Suppressed. Bucky is almost free of him after years of careful reconditioning and therapy and recovery, but he’s there. Cold. Distant. And you did this to him.

You.

You’re scum. You’re shit. You’re selfish. You’re greedy. You’re the worst kind of person on the planet.

You’re sorry but you don’t regret what you did with Steve.

You need to fix this.

“Bucky…please…” You beg, moving towards him.

He allows you to step up to him. He doesn’t pull back when you take hold of his forearms. You see the subtle shift in his eyes as your touch weakens his armor. The muscles beneath your hands tighten however, tense.

“Please. I love you. I will never stop loving you.” You promise.

You know it’s not enough but you want it to be. You want your words to heal his hurt. You need for him to trust in that because you love Steve, it doesn’t take away from how you feel for him. For Bucky.

“No.” Bucky says, finality in his tone.

It guts you. A knife plunged into the soft fleshy bits of you, twisted and yanked pulling with it everything that makes you whole and happy.

“Buck-" Steve tries but when Bucky’s ice-like eyes find his warm storm blues, he stops talking.

“I said no. My answer,” He looks back down at you and speaks to injure. He wants it to hurt you and you can’t blame him. “Is no.”

You had already known that what you shared with Steve down by the lake, in Brazil, and last night cuddled safely in his arms would be all you’d get.

You’d known it and it still hurts. It’s still agonizing.

“You’re gonna leave me now, right?” Bucky spits.

You’ve never seen him so angry and his rage burns you. It takes lashes at you, scarring you.

You don’t want to leave him. Of course, you don’t!

You’d talked a big game but now that you’re facing the choice, you can’t make your feet move. You want them both but the idea of walking away from Bucky is unbearable.

You won’t do that to him. You can’t.

You cry, tears spilling quick and sudden as you grip his arms harder, trying to pull him closer but he’s a statue. Immovable. Michelangelo’s David. Cut and perfect and stoic.

“No…” Your guttural sob chokes you.

How do you walk away? How do you live your life knowing they’re both somewhere loving someone else? They’re yours. Both of them. Bucky is forever emblazoned into your heart. If he leaves you, he takes it with you, leaving a shell.

Steve is your soul. He knows your inner thoughts. He knows your impulses. He knows your darkness and your light. You want him to know your love. Your most vulnerable self, unshielded, ready to surrender to his love and to love him with abandon.

You want to be spread out beneath him as he takes you as one. As part of himself. Like you already are with Bucky. Intimate and private and personal.

And Bucky! Bucky needs to see your inner workings. You want to show him your darkness and to find out if he can still love it. Love you. How can you choose? How can you leave?

But how can you stay?!

“-I l-love you, baby, please don’t push me away.” You plead.

Bucky huffs, pulls your hands away from his body and moves around you.

“BUCKY!” You cry, a torn whisper, half crazed with the thought of losing him forever.

You drop onto the sofa, fisting the plush cushion with writhing claws. Your crying is loud and ugly and you didn’t know you could die and still somehow be alive.

You scream into the sofa because you don’t know what else to do. Bucky took your strength with him. You’d chase after him but your body won’t obey. It’s broken.

It’s full of pain, confusion, but mostly guilt because this is all your fault.

He saw you and Steve. Bucky did.

He heard you. He was there. He saw Steve touch you and you touch Steve in ways that are only his.

Why are you so horrible? Why do you do this? Why can you only destroy?

You hear Steve leave too. On some plane of consciousness, you're aware of him banging on Bucky’s door. You hear the door open and then slamming and then a small muted ruckus. Then silence.

The silence is punctured only by your sobbing. Eventually that stops too and you’re very aware of the fact that it’s either very late or really early.

You shut your eyes and fall asleep. Emotionally spent.

~~~~~~~~~~

You’re awoken by the gentle shake of a familiar hand. It’s not big. Not Steve. Definitely not Bucky.

“Y/N wake up. We got’im. We know where he is.” Nat takes her hand back and watches as you sleepily sit yourself up.

You teeter for a moment; caught between whatever dark dream you’d just woken up from and very real heartbreak you’re in.

“You okay?” She asks, wary either from the look on your face or the way your body seems to stutter.

“Yeah.” You croak. You clear your throat.

“Come on. We’ve got the jet going.”

You look towards the hallway towards the bedrooms. Bucky had stormed off that way and you faintly remember hearing Steve follow him.

“They’re already on the jet. You can change on the way. Come on.” She urges you, a strange gentleness in her voice that tells you she’s very aware of some part of what’s going on with you and your two boys.

No. Not yours. Rejected. And you can’t be with Steve. It wouldn’t be fair to Bucky.

You sigh and get to your feet, slightly stung that neither of them woke you up.

The elevator ride down to the hangar is thick with words that need to be said. Not by you.

When she speaks, she’s leaning against the wall, her hands—covered in fingerless tac gloves—squeeze the metal bar along behind her.

“I-I’m sorry.” Her voice is pleading, guilty. Like you feel.

“For what?” You look at her, eyes bleary from sleep. You hadn’t even bothered to look at what time it is.

“I pushed him to go on that mission with you. I’ve been trying to get him to do something…about the way he feels about you, for a long time.” Nat flexes her jaw, then looks down at her feet before meeting you with an apologetic green gaze. “He told me that he kissed you. To make Bucky jealous? To help you two along? I could see how miserable he was and I just…”

“It’s not your fault, Nat.” You look away from her to stare at the metal doors. You did this to all of you. You. No one else.

“It’s okay, you know? Loving both of them.”

And you don’t know how it can be okay. Nothing is okay. For one fleeting moment, you think it might be better to be dead than without either of them.

The thought scares you and you gasp lightly.

“Y/N?” Nat moves towards you, placing her hand on your lower back. “You okay? You look a little green.”

“I’m fine.” You growl, not meaning to but you’re so angry at yourself.

Angry for hurting Bucky. Angry for loving Steve and hurting him too. Angry because this isn’t you. You’re not a quitter. You’re a fighter. You’ll leave, just like you said you would.

Not forever. Never forever.

You just need to get some distance. You need space. You need time to think. Maybe Bucky and Steve need time, too?

Maybe being away from you will help things be clearer?

“Y/N?” Nat probes, leaning forward to look at your face because you’re still folded forward.

“I said I’m fine.” You push her hand away and as the elevator opens you move out with wobbly feet but find your stride halfway to the jet.

“About time.” Tony snarks, in full iron armor as he steps onto the jet.

He stands aside and watches you board but with his helmet off, you can see the confusion on his face from whatever expression you’re wearing.

You move for the back-left corner of the jet where a small compartment slides out for spare uniforms.

“Hey, pouty. What’s got your mood all puckered?” Sam asks, giving you a passing glance but quickly taking in your mood.

You don’t answer him.

Very aware of your surroundings, you take note of Bucky standing at the front of the jet, hand on the back of the left pilot’s chair where Sam sits. The right left open for Nat when she boards shortly after you.

He doesn’t turn to look at you as you come on board. He’s mad at you. You get it.

Steve sits on the right side of the jet, elbows on his knees, hands clasped in front of him. They’re both dressed in full mission gear but neither of them looks at you and it stings so painfully that you blink hard to chase away the tears that accompany the ache.

Fine. If that’s how they both want to play this, then you are more than happy to oblige.

You strip, not caring who may be looking. First to go are your jeans, then your white t-shirt. You still haven’t changed since your encounter with Steve by the lake.

As the back hatch closes and Tony climbs on, sans uniform which has tucked itself back into its nano-housing on his chest, he moves towards you. He leans against the wall of the jet, shielding your semi-nakedness from the rest of the team.

“Are you good?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me if I’m alright? I’m fine!” You shout.

You don’t mean to snap but your fuse is already short enough with Bucky and Steve having left Nat to wake you and both of them not even sparing you a glance. Maybe you deserve it? Maybe you don’t?

Either way, it ticks you off, and the gnawing guilt in your chest only serves to strengthen your sour mood.

You shove your clothes into the small compartment and pull the Kevlar tac suit on. Holsters fastened and guns slipped in place. Tony continues to watch you.

“Are you getting laid?” He asks, eyes narrowed. “Helps with stress. Are you stressed?”

You frown at him and move around him, ignoring the way he smirks because you don’t want to snap at him again.

“Where are Vision and Wanda?” You wonder, asking no one in particular but hoping that Bucky or Steve will answer.

“Scouting ahead.” Nat says, no hint of your rudeness with her earlier. “They’ll meet us at the safe zone then move in with us.”

You walk over to her and as soon as you enter his periphery, Bucky turns and walks away. He moves over to the right side of the jet and sits himself as far away from Steve as possible. Ramrod straight, metal hand clenching and unclenching.

The drop your heart does takes your breath away.

All of your anger seems to disappear instantly as that painful stinging returns to the inner corners of your eyes. You shut them, urging yourself to stay professional. You can’t focus on what’s happening with you and Bucky and Steve right now.

Aaron must be the focus.

“Where are we going?” You ask Nat and your voice is a gasp.

When she turns to look at you, you can see her take note of the spot Bucky had just stood in and then frowns as she finds him sitting as far away from you and Steve as possible. When she meets your eyes, the look of solidarity and sympathy is piercing.

“Rio. Or more specifically, Cabo Frio.” She states, pulling up a map of South America. On the bottom-right corner of Brazil’s Eastern coast is a not so small city with beautiful beaches, and crystal blue-green waters.

“What’s in Cabo Frio?” You wonder, forcing yourself to focus on the display in front of her.

Since you can’t choose Steve and Bucky won’t let you choose him anymore, you choose Aaron. That’s where you’ll devote your energy. Besides, the more you think about Aaron, the less aware you are of the empty feeling in your chest.

“It’s what wasn’t in Cabo Frio six months ago?” Nat moves the map to the East and about thirty miles from shore to empty, dark blue ocean. “This was the South Atlantic six months ago.”

She presses a few buttons with sleek black polished nails and the map changes on where there was nothing there is now a small island.

“This is the South Atlantic now.”

“So, we’re flying to that island?” You wonder, reaching out to zoom the map in.

“That’s not an island.” Sam says to your left.

You keep zooming in and find yourself staring at the largest ship you have ever seen.

“Is that a ship?” You gasp, zooming in more.

“Longer than the Sears Tower is tall.” Nat says. “We’re pretty sure that’s where the drugs are coming from.”

You blink, stunned by the size, the ingenious of using a ship to manufacture drugs.

Pulling anchor and moving on is so easy. If someone gets wind of you, you just float away.

“Are we going straight to the ship?”

“No.” Nat says.

“They’ve got a base inland where we got aerial footage of your mark making drops. We’ll go there first, scope that out, take it if we can. Then we’ll take the ship. We want to cut off communication with the base on shore so that we can sneak up on the ship. We don’t want one warning the other.” Tony says, sidling up behind you.

Turning to look at him, you frown. “That’s stupid. Once they lose communication with the base, they’ll move on. Why don’t we just split up? Half of us can take the ship. The other half of us can take the base.”

“It’s too risky.” Nat shakes her head, worry painting her green eyes dark jade. “Something goes wrong, we won’t have backup.”

“Where’s Bruce?” You wonder. “Looking around.”

Steve and Bucky are standing closer, interested in the conversation now that it’s turned to the mission. You hate them a little for meeting your eyes. For tearing your heart in two and then having the audacity to look at you with nothing but business on their minds.

The feeling lasts only a second because your mind is also on business. Once the shock of having them looking at you and listening as if it matters what you say has passed, you bring your gaze to Tony.

“He’s with Wanda, scoping out the base.” He says.

“And Thor?”

“With Vision, checking out the ship.”

“Well, call them back. Is there a safe zone where we can meet up with them?” You ask, inadvertently taking charge of the mission.

“Yeah, about twenty miles outside of the city.” Nat says, flicking the map to the small warehouse to serve as a temporary base.

“Call them. Get them there.”

“I don’t know if splitting up is such a good idea.” Sam says, voicing his concern for probably all of them.

“Rhodey?” You ask Tony, ignoring Sam for now.

“Called away. He won’t be here.”

“Nat?” You lean towards her again, staring out at the darkening horizon.

A quick glance at the clock tells you that your heartbreak made you sleep straight through breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Your stomach aches and gurgles, but you ignore it. No one cares that you didn’t eat. You don’t care either.

“Get us to that safe zone.” You order and she happily obeys.

Steve doesn’t know what to do. He doesn’t know what to say to make all of this better. If he hadn’t insisted on pleasuring you outside then maybe Bucky wouldn’t have shut you out so harshly.

He knows that Bucky doesn’t mean it. The no is tentative. It had been spoken in haste and in jealousy and anger.

Steve’s already kind of changed his mind. Not really, but before Tony had called about Aaron, he’d thought he could see Bucky wavering.

Bucky loves you, and as much as he hates that you love him, Steve, he can’t fight that. Steve can’t understand Bucky’s resistance.

Of course, Steve doesn’t want to share you either. You were his firsts. Maybe not officially, but in every way other than sexual, you’d been his. You’d fallen asleep in his arms before Bucky’s. You’d stretched out on his bed and spent hours reading or watching shows or movies with him before Bucky was there to do all that with you.

He’d taken you on your first mission. He’d patched up your first wounds. He’d kissed you—yes, he had though you’d been asleep and didn’t know about it—way before he did it to coax Bucky’s jealousy.

He’d held you when you cried. He’d laughed at your jokes. He’d loved you in every way possible without telling you out loud before Bucky even came into the picture.

No. Steve doesn’t want to share you. But you love Bucky. How can he deny you what you want?

Bucky also needs you. More than Steve thinks even Bucky knows.

He needs to give in. He needs to hold onto you. If Steve needs to step aside, he will. If he has to listen to you and Bucky make love for the rest of his life, then he’ll do that. So long as you don’t leave.

Steve understands Bucky. More than he might think. Steve knows that you’re his light. He knows that Bucky can’t really live without you.

He hates to see Bucky struggle. So, he gave in. He surrendered. For you. For Bucky.

While you’d cried and then fallen into a restless sleep, Steve had promised his best friend that he wouldn’t touch you again. He’d stay away. He’d leave when you were a little better and could handle his leaving, and he’d stop interfering.

Bucky had only stared. Searching. Angry, but listening.

Steve can see the admiration in Bucky’s eyes as you take charge right now. You hadn’t been given this mission to lead but you’d taken up the reigns on your own and dove headfirst. You’re so strong. In so many ways.

As you cross towards them again, a dusty cloud of years’ worth of muck kicked up as you move over the filthy warehouse floor, Steve stands up straighter. Bucky across from him, leaning against the steel support beam trying to look as casual as he can with his hands shoved into his pockets, also stands straighter despite his attempts at playing it cool.

Like him, Steve knows that Bucky’s vowed to put all this drama aside. For the mission. For you.

“We hold out until we all reach our targets. We attack at the same time and take who we can. How sure are we that Aaron is going to be at the base and not on the ship?” Steve hasn’t spoken since he boarded the jet.

He’s trying to step back but so is Bucky. That’s not what he wanted.

“There’s no way to know. We spotted him the one time but haven’t seen him since. He could be on either site or neither.” Nat says, standing tall with her arms crossed over her full chest.

“How will we split the teams? Let’s get this going. I want to rip some heads.” Thor declares and you look at him then appraise the rest of the group.

Steve stands a little taller as your eyes scan him and then you speak. “I’ll take point on the base in the city. Tony? You think you can take the ship team?”

“Is that a serious question?” He quips.

“Good.”

“Bruce, you should go with Tony. They’ll need the extra muscle on the ship. It’s a large space.” Steve thinks that’s a good all.

Even with the Hulk tamed, Bruce can throw his weight around well.

“Nat, Wanda, will the two of you also go with Tony?” You order, and before you can speak again, Bucky cuts in.

“Me too.” He says, voice hard and quiet.

Steve can see the uncertain shift in your eyes. The pain that flashes out at Bucky as he stares you down.

For a few horrible seconds, Steve doesn’t breathe. Will this break you? Bucky hasn’t said a word to you. He hasn’t reached out. He’s barely looked at you.

Steve caught you struggling on the jet and now Bucky doesn’t even want to be on mission with you?

The way your mouth opens as if to speak then shuts again with a flex of your jaw, Steve knows that you’re trying hard to keep it together.

“Fine.” You say, your voice hard now too.

What the fuck is Bucky doing? He’s going to drive you away. Is that his plan? He’ll break you. Can’t he see that?

“The rest of you are with me.” You say, disappointment on the furthest fringes of your tone.

Steve knows you’d rather have Bucky with you. Yet, he takes comfort in knowing that he’ll be able to keep his eye on you. Just like old times. He’ll have your back.

Things do not go well. It’s almost as if you’ve offended God…or the Gods. Your mind shoots to Thor chaotically as everything falls apart.

There is no one on the ship.

No one.

Bruce, in controlled Hulk form, Tony, Bucky, Nat, and Wanda search the ship as quickly as possible with the help of Tony’s thermal scans.

The base on the other hand?

It’s packed. There are more guys than the five of you can handle.

For a little bit in the beginning, when Thor barrels through a large heavy iron door to expose what must be nearly three hundred workers in the largest room of the base, you think maybe all isn’t lost.

Thor can handle these guys no problem. You’ve seen him take on more. Worse. Stronger. Faster.

Then the twins show up. White dark chocolate skin, stark platinum blonde hair, piercing red eyes, and evil sneers create a terrifying image.

You’ve never seen them before. Illuminated collars around their necks that glow venom green come undone and then they chase Thor up through the roof and into the dark night skies leaving you, Steve, and Vision to fight fast and hard.

Vision grabs thugs at random, by the neck, then flings them up into the air to watch them drop. He flies down, sweeping long crippling tackles through ten, fifteen guys at once. You and Steve do your best to hold them off.

Steve fairs better, his strength super. You’re skilled, very much so, but you can only move as fast as your body will let you.

Each of the twins is followed by a stream of sunshine yellow light that seems to originate from their hands and feet. This propels them upwards, or that’s what you’d originally guessed.

It reminds you of Wanda but not exactly. The light is too thick. Solid. Like those lasers from Tron but that’s not possible because that’s just a movie.

And yet, when Sam goes tumbling out of the sky as he attempts to help Thor fight the twins, his wings hit a line of light and impossibly, inexplicably, the wings are severed. Halfway along their length, the left wing is clipped, and Sam goes tumbling down towards the ground. Too high. Too far.

Vision breaks away from you and Steve to intercept his fall, but he’s suddenly tackled out of flight by one of the twins, streaming across the large room and into a wave of thugs.

“Sam! Your chute!” You shout, scared and desperate for him as he falls.

He grows closer and when he talks you can hear the wind whistling past him.

He’ll die.

“I’m trying. It’s jammed!” He cries, his voice strong and controlled despite the panic that must be coursing through him.

There are grunts and pulls, punches, kicks, the occasional gunshot, as the thugs continue to attack you.

You fight harder. You somehow make yourself move faster.

“Steve, catch him!” You shout, desperate for Sam.

“We’re almost there.” Tony’s voice comes over your comms. He’s within range.

The hesitancy in Steve’s choice to do as you ask is so quick that no one would have noticed it. You see it because you know him. You love him. You know what he’s thinking.

I won’t leave you alone. He thought. Then he probably played the argument over in his head and realized that you’d dive underneath Sam and kill yourself in the process if it would mean his survival.

What other choice does he have than to do as you ask?

He sprints off towards Sam, leaping through a large broken window on the second floor. You glance him as he catches Sam, crashing into the ground outside.

Sixty thugs break away, race towards them to take advantage of the fall.

“Vision get back to Y/N.” Steve orders.

Vision is busy. You can see him shooting yellow beams at thug after thug. You hear the sing of his light, the sizzle of it’s burn. You smell the char of skin accompanied by the cries of pain.

He’s all the way on the other side of the large factory-like room.

“Vision!” Steve shouts, his fear for you more prominent than he probably means it to be.

You’re too busy to respond or react to his struggle. You’re dripping with sweat. Beads of effort build along your temples and forehead and trickle down along your skin, coating it with grime as dust is kicked up by your feet and that of your opponents.

You’re huffing with exhaustion already. Your arms are tired. Your legs are weak from taking so many hits. Blocking and returning. Your legs are suddenly yanked out from beneath you.

You scream.

“Y/N!” Steve calls out.

“I’m going.” Thor assures him that he’s on his way to you. “Gah!”

He’s knocked off course by the twin he’s been fighting, unable to get to you.

You get back to your feet, blocking punches and kicks before one lands hard on your chest. It sends you flying back. You gasp for air and loud heavy thud echoes around you.

The ringing in your ears is so distracting that although you lift up your hands to fight, you blink hard and try to remember where you are.

Someone throws a punch, a no one. You block it with your left forearm, then throw a hard right hook. It’s too strong, your arm moving lazily towards its target with zero control in strength.

The movement spins you to your left and you stumble backwards until strong arms catch you.

Your heart soars.

Bucky. You think with relief then shift your head back to look at your man to find your mark.

Aaron, Hawaiian God. Mass murderer. Crime lord. Not Bucky. Not Steve.

He smirks at you, gleeful that he’s caught you. The thugs around you move away, running towards Vision and Sam and Steve.

You can hear people calling you on your earpiece, but your head won’t focus.

Why?

There’s a flash of a memory. Your head violently hitting a large steel support beam. The explosion in your brain as you’re concussed, and green eyes transfix your addled mind as you pass out.

You dream of a snake with sea-green eyes. It hisses and laughs. Ssss-sss-ssssss.

Bucky can feel Bruce’s loud cry reverberate in his chest. It shakes his heart and reminds him that it’s there. Not like he could ever really forget.

Hearing Steve’s panic over the comms trying to get any one of his team members back to where you’d been fighting fills Bucky with dread. It chokes his heart. It aches painfully with a fear unlike he’s ever known.

Where are you?

He scans the room as Bruce stampedes through, swinging and making bodies fly. He tears through them like they were made of paper and he can begin to hear shouts of fear. The large group of thugs begin to run, making for exits and windows and holes in the walls.

Tony flies off to help Thor with what looks like twin men, sickly thing with dark skin and glowing eyes. Wanda and Vision join him while Nat, Steve, Bucky, and Sam meet in the middle of the large factory room where you’d been fighting.

“Where is she?!” Steve asks, screaming desperate and fearful.

Bucky’s stomach twists at the sound of terror in Steve’s cry because it’s his cry too.

“Where is she?! Nat? Do you see her?” Steve is fighting through the crowd, Sam pushing and punching.

Nat kicking and spinning her way towards the spot where Steve is standing.

“No.” Nat replies, grunting as she catches a thug in the chest with her knee then plunges a knife into his thigh as he tries to kick.

“Sam?”

“Nothing this way, Steve.”

“Bucky?”

But Bucky can’t answer his voice is caught in his throat. It’s a lump, building rapidly into grief and denial as he tries to convince his mind that what he thinks has happened hasn’t really happened.

He angrily grabs a thug’s throat as he runs by. He squeezes, the plates in his metal arm groaning and shifting as he glares up at the low life.

“Where is she?” He says low and angry. There’s death in his tone.

The thug claws at Bucky’s hand unable to fight it. He shakes his head and Bucky can’t help it. He squeezes too hard. He hears a sickening crack and then drops the limp body to the floor.

Steve finds him and he looks over Bucky’s shoulder as Bucky catches another thug.

“Where is she?” He asks again.

“Buck?” Steve asks, desperate for reassurance.

The second thug also has no answers for him. Bucky squeezes again.

As this body falls to the ground, Steve reaches out to turn Bucky towards him.

Bucky lets him. He meets his eyes, Steve standing with both hands gripping the sides of Bucky’s shoulders. He’s heaving, breathing hard and heavy from his fight to find you. He’s sweating and dirty and he fought hard while Bucky was stuck on some decoy ship doing nothing and letting you get taken.

“Buck?” Steve asks, searching his ice blues for that assurance that everything is going to be okay.

Bucky can’t give it to him, and he lets the mask fall for a second as he sees the same heartache and agony mirrored in Steve’s face. He opens his mouth to speak, to say something that might alleviate this black cloud over them as the last of the thugs are chased out by Bruce.

Instead his lower lip quivers and Steve falls to his knees.

“No.” Steve gasps.

“He took her.” Bucky realizes. He knew it the moment that you stopped responding to their calls. He knew it when you sent Steve to catch Sam. He knew that you wouldn’t be here when he arrived, and he can’t believe he left you alone.

If he’d been here, if he hadn’t been so stubborn, if he’d been willing to just try to accept that Steve—this broken man clutching at his feet as he struggles to breathe and what must be an astounding feeling of failure—loved you just as much as he did and that he had as much right to show it as he himself did, then you’d still be here.

You’d have had both of them at your side and when Steve had gone to save Sam, Bucky would have been there to keep you safe.

“No.” Steve cries. Really cries. His voice hitches. His hands are vices around Bucky’s ankles as he clings desperately to the only piece of you left. “Buck…no.”

Bucky falls to his knees to but to straighten Steve up. He can’t have him like this.

“We’ll get her back, Steve.” He promises him.

“We don’t even know where to start looking.” Steve points out and Bucky can see the dead in his eyes.

Now he can see what you’ve been meaning, what you’ve been saying Steve is to you. For the first time since this whole mess started, Bucky can see how much more claim Steve has on you and strangely, it doesn’t hurt.

It makes him feel better that someone on this team will be more desperate than him to find you. Someone else on this team will sacrifice life and limb to get you back.

“You’re not alone, Steve.” Bucky tells him, giving him a shake. “We’ll get her back. Together.”

Someone is talking. Someone is speaking directly to you as if you’re capable of listening. Never mind the fact that you’ve been completely unconscious until this moment.

Aaron.

“-trust easily. It’s nothing personal. I just need to make sure that you can’t punch me. Are the straps too tight?” He asks, deep booming voice actually concerned.

You feel tugs at your wrists as he checks large nylon straps. They’re thick and to Steve and Bucky and almost all of your friends they would be nothing but to you, a human, with no real super strength, they’re enough.

“Where-?”

“You’re on my ship.” He replies, a smile in his voice.

It’s like his statement brings to attention the gentle swaying, the smell of brine, and the groan of metal in water.

It creeps you out how he sounds like he’s making conversation with an old friend. Someone he can joke around with and have some fun.

In his defense, the last time you’d seen him face-to-face, he’d been about to eat you out.

“There was no one on the ship.” You say, confused.

“Oh, not that ship. That was a fake. I put it there in case someone like you and your team came lookin’ for me.” Aaron explains.

You open your eyes and the dim light of a light far away lets you see him. He’s big. Bigger than you remember but that might just be because it’s been a while. Tall. Beautiful copper tanned skin. Long wavy brown hair. Longer than Bucky’s. Tips bleached from too much sun. His beard is thick, well-kept, but longer than when you last saw him. Fuller.

He’s shirtless, tendrils of soft black chest hair scattered over his hard, flexing pectorals.

He’s slouched. Completely relaxed. The flesh of his stomach folded over though even with that small bit of extra muscle and tissue, you can see the chiseled shape of his abs.

Leaning forward, he spreads his legs wide wearing dark pants that look fairly new. He places his hands between his legs. He grips the edge of the chair, curling his shoulders in as he appraises you. He’s too at ease.

Is he not scared you’ll be found? Are you seriously in trouble here?

“Why didn’t you tell me that you’re an Avenger? I guess I should have put it together when I woke up the next morning and I couldn’t find my drive. You cost me a lot of money on that Cayman trip.” He informs you.

You stare at him, assessing your options quickly. How can you get out of this?

“How long have I-?”

“Two weeks. You know, this is the fifth time you’ve asked me that. I guess you hit your head pretty hard. I don’t have a doctor on board but as soon as I can get you one, I will.” He promises.

Why is he being so nice.

“You’re new to them, right? Haven’t been part of them long? I’ve never seen you before.” He gets up and moves towards a small metal table bolted down into the floor and against the half black, half red metal wall.

“Yes.” You lie, never mind that you’ve been on many missions with Steve and Nat and the rest of the team. You’d just been kept out of the big ones.

Stupid protective, lovable jerks.

“I knew there was something…that night in my place?” He moves back to you holding a small glass of water.

Your body craves it, almost aches for it.

As he holds it to your lips you push yourself up as much as you can take frantic sips.

You cough, choking on it a little. He takes the glass away and you hate him for it.

“Take it easy. I’ve got plenty of water.” He places the edge back against your lips and this time you’re careful. “So, I don’t know what drug you used to get me to pass out that night but did we-?”

Seriously?! You think, this guy is actually asking you if you slept with him?

Inspiration strikes and as he pulls the now empty glass away from your lips, you nod slowly.

“We did.” You tell him.

He believes you. He puts the glass on a smaller table also bolted down to the floor beside your infirmary bed then licks his lips and leans in closer, hovering over you with is arms on either side of your chest.

“Why did you leave?” He asks, desperate to understand.

“I-I was scared they’d come looking for me. I used to do things for bad people, and they don’t trust me.” The lies come easy. Doing bad things for bad people isn’t a lie, but it’s been much longer than you’re making it seem.

“I can keep you safe.” He sighs, reaching up to smooth the hair away from your face.

It clings to your temples, clammy skin coated in sweat. This is when you realize that you’re not exactly well.

“I’m scared.” You shudder, letting your real fear for your health surface and make your words true.

“Sshh, shhh, I’ve got you, baby.” He traces the shape of your shoulders.

You don’t want to push it too soon because it’ll make him suspicious, but he’s already so primed for it. Fearfully, you throw it out there to see if he’ll take the bait. You pray that Bucky won’t be angry at you for using this tactic that he hates so much.

Then you remember that Bucky is mad at you and that he probably doesn’t care about what you do.

The urge to survive this almost slips away but you know you’re better than that. You can live in a world where Bucky hates you, so long as you know he’s out there. You push through the depression that threatens to overtake you and stick to your plan.

“Can I hold you?” You wonder, pulling against the straps on your wrists. “I want you.”

Voice soft as silk, alluring, and pleading. You shift your hips, rubbing your thighs together as if you’re actually itching to have him fill you again—never mind that he never did.

He takes note of this, his hand wandering down your side and onto your hip where his eyes stay glued as he watches you squirm.

“Please?” You beg and he likes that so much he give a guttural grunt as he looks back up at you and climbs up onto your bed.

You feel frail and breakable. His large body looming over yours sends your heart into overdrive. Will he hurt you?

He touches you, and you try not to flinch away. You make sure to shift your disgust into desire, letting him cup your mound despite the way it makes you want to throw up. That could also be the malnutrition.

“You want this baby?” He asks, wafting hot breath against the cool clammy skin of your throat.

“Yeah.” You lie, hoping that it sounds real. “Let me hold you.”

You strain against your straps and he sits back, removing his hand from between your legs.

You’re filled with relief as he undoes your left hand strap and because you don’t want him to be suspicious, you use that hand to grab his shoulder and yank him down against your chest. You wrap it around him, holding him to you as his lips find yours and you kiss him hard.

As hard as you can anyway.

The taste of his tongue is salted and sour. You nearly gag but instead you groan. You need to get him off of you, get the rest of the straps off, get out the door, and up onto the deck of the ship. Then you can look for a plane or another boat…something. Anything.

You’ll float home if you have to.

As his tongue delves more deeply into his mouth, the heat of his skin bringing shocking attention to the lack of it in you, you suddenly bite down.

Aaron gasps and tries to pull back, but you’ve got a solid hold on him. He pushes against your shoulders and you follow him up as best you can as your teeth dig in deeper.

Your teeth finally snap shut. Aaron screams in pain and you taste rust.

Aaron scrambles off of you and falls onto the floor, kicking and pushing away from your bed and you spit out the pink wiggling flesh. Your mouth is flooded with blood and it drips from your mouth as you quickly undo the straps holding you down.

When you’re finally on your feet, you wobble, but not because of the sway of the ship. You’re weaker than you realized.

“Shit.” You gasp and grab a small metal tray beside your bed.

Aaron doesn’t see the hit coming and you knock him out saving him from the pain of his half-tongue but also giving yourself time to get away.

Weakly you run out of the room giving the hallways you run through quick looks before you venture into them.

You’ve been expecting to encounter thugs but there’s no one. Only empty rooms and the rotting smell of fish.

You have to stop to rest when you find the stairs and catch your breath. Two seconds is all you spare because the fear of Aaron waking up and coming after you is overwhelming.

You scrape up your bare feet as you climb the stairs as quickly as you can. At the top you find a heavy steel doorway with one of those large circular handles to seal compartments in ships from flooding.

Weakly you manage to turn it and hot salty air fills your lungs as the door falls open. Gray overcast skies and black blue water surround the ship.

You push it, itching for freedom and as you tumble out your foot catches on the bottom threshold. You fall hard, feeling a break somewhere in your leg.

You cry out, hoping that all of Aaron’s thugs are not up here.

“Y/N!”

No. It’s impossible. Your eyes strain against the bright light of the day and try to see where that voice came from.

Halfway down the much smaller ship’s deck but still as big as an oil tanker, you see Bucky fling a black mass of body overboard.

He races towards you at the same time and you frantically push yourself up onto your feet.

Forgetting your brand-new break, you collapse when you try to put your weight on your right foot but Bucky’s already there and he catches you. His arms are hot and tight around you, the smell of him—bitter sweat mixed with his usual clean linen and sandalwood musk—is intoxicating. You can hardly believe he’s real.

“I found you.” He gasps, shocked as if he’d never expected to see you again. “I found you.”

You look for his face, wanting nothing more than to stare into his steel blue eyes. He pushes your hair back, almost like Aaron had but there’s a desperate love in his hands as he holds your face and you want him to kiss you and hold you and tell you that you’re safe.

He does one of those.

He scoops you up suddenly and impossibly fast he carries you across the ship’s deck, winding around containers and piping until he reaches the stern and you can see the large black jet.

“Steve!” Bucky calls, and you’re so confused but Steve is suddenly there too. His arms are around you, and as he falls to the ground onto his knees, Bucky moves with him and carefully places you in Steve’s arms.

Steve holds you close, against his chest, clinging to you as he sobs.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m sorry.” He cries but you don’t want him to be sorry.

Your heart soars as he pulls your lips up to meet his and then he buries his head into the side of your neck as he continues to sob, his blonde head of hair damp from the spray of the sea.

Bucky, also kneeling beside you, leans in to rest his forehead against your temple.

“I found you.” He repeats.

You turn to look at him, searching his face for explanation but he kisses you instead. Softly massaging your lips before he trails loving kisses down along your cheeks.

Then he wraps his arms around you and Steve.

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[nastybuckybarnes]

Distrust  -  Nine

Pairing: Past!Steve Rogers X Reader, Bucky Barnes X Reader

Summary: After Bucky gets ‘taken’ on a mission gone wrong, Steve blames you for it, casting you out. HYDRA takes advantage of your vulnerable state and is quick to capture you, the team knowing nothing of anything that’s happened.

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Language, Minor Triggering things???

Word Count: 2.6K

A/n: Hey guys. This can be the ending if you want, but I plan on posting a part 10/epilogue thing and I’m excited for it. Anyway, enjoy this!!

Edited Poorly Cause I’m Excited Lol Series Masterlist Masterlist

~*~

“She’s made amazing progress so far. I’m very proud of her and I think, if she continues this good work, she could very well be discharged by the end of the month,” June says to Tony, Nat, and Bucky.

“However I think it’s in her best interests to have her own apartment or house or something of the sort. Being... away from the Avengers and the constant reminder of who she was... that was extremely damaging to her mental health. I would like to keep in contact with you all over the next month as we try to figure out a place for (Y/n) to live. I’d also like to set her up with her own job. One with a very flexible schedule. If you have any ideas or anything don’t hesitate to contact me or any of the nurses here. We all want (Y/n) leaving here with her head held high, a good life set ahead of her.”

“I'm sure we could find her a house easily. It’s just, making sure she likes it would be the problem,” Nat says softly. “We could take her house hunting,” Bucky suggests, looking at the other two people.

“That could work. She was talking about having brunch with you all anyway. Perhaps that’s something you could discuss with her over the meal? She’s excited to start her own life away from the clinic, but she’ll need support. Mister Barnes, you’ve been... a pillar in her recovery. And without you, she wouldn’t have come so far so fast. I don’t want you to just go back to how things were. I do not know how (Y/n) would react to that and I don’t want to risk any relapses.” Bucky nods, understanding what the nurse is implying.

“Perfect! We hope to have(Y/n) discharged by the end of the month. But definitely before the tenth of next month.” Nat and Tony smile relieved smiles at each other, and Bucky grins to himself, happy that you’re getting better.

~*~

“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” June asks from the driver's seat of the Honda Civic. You look over at her then nod, taking a few deep breaths. “I need to do this. It’s one of the last steps I need to take to embrace everything, ya’know?” She smiles proudly at you as you climb out of the vehicle. You straighten your dress, square your shoulders, then walk into the restaurant.

It’s not completely empty, which is a surprise in itself. Tony enjoys dining alone.

You're grateful for the other patrons of the restaurant, knowing you’d have a harder time doing things if there was nothing but silence in the restaurant.

You make your way over to the greeter, only to be intercepted by a tall man.

“(Y/n)!” Bucky takes your hand and squeezes it gently. You smile up at him and pull him into a tight hug, letting yourself relax for a moment in his embrace.

“Are you sure you want to do this? You still have time to back out,” He whispers into your hair. You pull away and look up into his icy blue eyes. “I need to do this. This is something that’ll help me more than it’ll hurt me.” He nods, taking your hand again and leading you to a booth tucked away in the back of there restaurant.

Sitting at the booth, each with a glass of water in front of them, is Nat, Tony, and Wanda.

You smile shyly at them as they all look up, relieved smiles on their faces. You slide into the booth across from them and Bucky slides in next to you, his hand continuing to hold yours.

“(Y/n). You look so good,” Nat whispers, her eyes moving over your face.

“Thank you. I... I feel good. I feel really good, actually.” Tony smiles at you and takes a deep breath.

“So you’re gonna be let out of there soon, huh?” You nod excitedly and start talking about your mental health and all the progress you’ve made.

“That’s wonderful, (Y/n). We’re all so happy that you’re getting so much better!” Wanda exclaims after you’ve finished speaking.

A waiter sets food you don’t remember ordering down on the table. Bucky nudges you and winks, letting you know that he ordered you your favourite.

“I’m happy too. I’m excited to start... living again. To have my own place and a job and a life. It’s scary and I know it’s gonna be really hard and I’ll have really bad days that’ll break me, but... it’s worth it. I know that no matter how hard it gets, I’ll have people to turn to, and that’s all that really matters anyway.”

It’s quiet for a few minutes as they think about what you’ve said while you all eat.

“I was thinking... maybe I could take you house-hunting? I mean, when you’re ready. I know that seeing us might set you back a bit in your recovery, but when you’re ready to see us again, I’d like to do that with you. Help you find a place to call home.”

You smile at Tony’s offer and nod, “I’d like that, Tony. A lot. I’ve really missed you guys. And... it’s been hard, knowing that seeing you was setting me back. It’s been hard dealing with how much pain I’ve unintentionally caused. June says I shouldn’t worry about you guys because you’re all worried about me, but I can’t help it.”

Bucky wraps his arm around your shoulders and squeezes gently, comforting you. You open your mouth, choosing your words carefully then giving up and deciding to just go with your gut.

“June says I shouldn’t push myself too far, but I need to know... how is he?” The four other people at the table stiffen at the mention of Steve.

“He’s... I don’t even know, honestly. For the first month, he was a wreck. He tried to do a bunch of reckless things but the serum prevented most of it from working. After that he buried himself in his work, spending every waking moment doing something. He was distant for a while, but now he’s getting better. He’s been talking to a therapist I think... trying to better himself. He’s been talking abbot how to make things better... how to make you feel better, but so far he’s come up with nothing.” You nod slowly at the new information, your heart hurting a bit as you realize how awful he must’ve felt.

“I don’t want you worrying about Steve, okay?” Bucky asks softly, looking into your eyes with a determination unlike any you’ve seen.

“I’ll try not to, but it’s hard. He used to be such a big part of my life. I think facing him is going to be the final step in my recovery. I think I need that kind of closure,” you whisper.

The others are quiet as they think about this. They know it’s your decision, but they can’t help but feel nervous about it for you. Seeing all the progress you’ve made away from all of them, away from him, it’s not something they want to be wasted.

“If you think you’re ready, we’ll support you. Whenever you want to talk to him, you tell me and I’ll set it up. Whether that be in the clinic, in a therapists office, in a restaurant, or in a park. I’ll be there if you want me to be,” Bucky says softly. The others nod their agreement and you can’t help the tears that fill your eyes.

“Thank you guys, so much for everything you've done to help me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you guys but I’m so grateful for you.”

~

“Do you have any idea when you’d want to see him? Just so I can make sure I’m free.” You shrug, swinging your arm between the two of you as you walk hand-in-hand down the sidewalk.

“I don’t know. Soon, maybe. Maybe not. I feel... kinda drained after all that with Tony and them. I need to recharge or something.” He nods, understanding what that feels like.

“I think, you should wait at least a week. Really gather your thoughts and prepare yourself. Then, once you know you’re ready to talk to him and know what you want to say, you can go for it and be... actually prepared and ready for it all. It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be emotionally taxing and might send you in a downward spiral. But I want you to know that I’m going to be here for you... with you, every step of the way.” He stops walking at the entrance to a little park, looking at you with a certain uncertainty in his eyes.

“Thank you, Bucky. Without you... I wouldn’t even be alive right now. I’m so fucking grateful for you and everything you’ve done for me. I don’t know how I’ll repay you, but I know I’ll work my ass off trying.”

He brings one hand up and carefully cups your cheek, shaking his head slowly. “You don’t need to repay me for anything. I’d do what I did a thousand times over again if it means that I get to stand here with you right now. You mean a lot to me, (Y/n), and I just don’t... I don’t want you to ever think no one loves you or no one cares because I do. I always have and I always will.” You put your hand over his and look between his eyes and his lips, your heart hammering in your chest.

“I... Bucky... I...” He smiles and looks at you with nothing but soft adoration in his eyes. “You don’t need to say anything. I just want you to know that I’ll be here. You helped me when I needed help. You saved me when I needed to be saved. I'm returning the favour because I love you, (Y/n). God, I love you.”

You don’t fight anything in your body. You let your mind go blank and push up onto your toes to connect your lips to his in a soft and gentle kiss. A kiss filled with unspoken words on your part and acceptance on his. It’s hesitant and slow and everything you never knew you needed until right exactly now.

His lips are warm as they move against yours, and you can’t help but brush your tongue out against them.

He pulls back after a moment more and chuckles softly, his forehead resting against yours.

“I’ll always be with you, (Y/n). You mean the world to me and we’re gonna get through this together. I promise.”

You slot your lips against his once more, this time feeling more secure in what you’re doing as you take control of your life and your heart.

He gently grips your waist as you thread your fingers through his hair, wanting nothing more than to do this for the rest of your life.

~

Steve’s been pacing for the past half hour, a million thoughts running through his mind as he waits for you in front of the large beautiful pond in Central Park.

It’s a calming place, he understands why you chose it. What he doesn’t understand, is why you chose to speak to him.

Before he can overthink anymore, he hears someone clear their throat.

He spins faster than he thinks possible, a little lightheaded for a moment as his eyes focus, and then he’s filled with more emotions than he thought possible for a human to feel at one time.

You’re standing there. Looking beautiful and healthy as ever.

You’re watching him with guarded eyes, but you don’t look broken. Not anymore, and for that, he’s more than grateful.

“Hello, Steve.” He almost crumbles as he hears your voice.

“(Y/n). Hi,” he breathes, stepping closer to you. You take a step back and look over your shoulder.

Bucky steps forwards, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Please, have a seat,” you say while motioning to the bench right behind him. He nods eagerly and sits down. You slowly over yourself beside him, taking some deep breaths as you chose your words.

“Tony says you haven’t been doing very well lately,” you begin, eyes finding his. He swallows hard then shrugs. “I... I just want to help you. But I don’t know how. I know staying away is probably the best thing but there must be more I can do.”

You look down at your hands.

“I’m being discharged in three weeks. Tony and Bucky helped me find a place and Nat and Wanda are helping me decorate and furnish it. Tony’s got me a job lined up and Sam’s and Clint have been helping me go furniture shopping. I’m recovering. I never, ever thought I’d get my life back after everything that happened. I’m so glad that I have, though. But... my life can’t include you in any way at all anymore Steve.”

His head snaps in your direction so fast you swear he cracks something.

“W-what?”

You sigh and look down at your hands. “Being around you... being near you after what you did... that was one of the main reasons why I wasn’t getting better at the tower. But away from the constant reminders of what happened there, away from everything that brings me back to my days with HYDRA... I got better. But I needed closure. It’s wrong to cut you out with no explanation so here it is.”

He’s quiet for a few moments before he sniffles and nods. “I understand, (Y/n). I hope you continue getting better. If you ever need anything and you have absolutely no one else, I’ll always, always be here. You were... are maybe the love of my life.” You take a deep breath and look over at him.

“You were my first love. The father of my first daughter. And the reason why I need to leave.” The mention of his daughter brings a sob bubbling out of his chest.

“I’ll never forget you, (Y/n). I still love you and I fucking wish I never sent you away. I wish… fuck, I wish for too much. I’m so sorry for everything I’ve done. For all the loses you've experienced and all the pain. I’m sorry. I hope I’m thoroughly punished for everything I’ve done. I deserve it.”

You shake your head and pick at the skin surrounding your fingernails.

“No. You don’t deserve a punishment. Although it is your fault,” he coughs a sob, “you didn’t directly inflict the majority of the physical pain I endured. So for that, you don’t need to worry.”

He shakes his head and sighs. “But I will. Every moment of every day for the rest of my stupidly long life I’ll worry about you. About what you’re doing, how you're doing. Because you occupy my every single thought. Because I love you still. And I know you don’t love me anymore and I know how awful I’ve been.”

You take a few deep breaths then stand up.

“Thank you, for all the good experiences you gave me. All the sweet memories. Thank you so very much. You were my first love and I know that I won’t forget you. I only hope overtime I remember you as the man I knew before.”

With that, you turn and start walking away, leaving Steve crying softly on the bench as Bucky follows after you.

A weight gets lifted off of your shoulders as Bucky interlocks your fingers again.

This is it.

This is what closure feels like.

It does hurt, a lot more than you thought it would, but now you’re free to start actually living your own life.

Without the weight of your past.

Without any of that baggage.

You’re free.

NEXT

~ 

TAGS:

PERMANENT TAGS:

@smolbeanbucky  @wildefire  @inumorph  @impalatobakerstreet  @nanna022  @mummy-woves-you  @m-a-t-91  @wtfholland  @bookgirlunicorn  @beautifulwisdom2001  @deep-sea-glitter  @mrhiddles-81  @iamwarrenspeace  @bitchacho25  @escapetheshackles  @i-know-i-can @buckyssoul  @avnngrs  @swoonhui  @destiel-artemis

MARVEL:

@fallenangelfangirl  @look-to-the-stars-and-wish  @maladaptive-ninja-returns  @cliffordasparagus  @april-14-blog  @potteritis @momc95  @shakzer00 

DISTRUST:

@sthorkronstrangy  @baebeepeach  @phoenix-whiskey-tears  @canumoveurseatup-no  @marvel13princess  @aplolomq  @crist1216  @its-ray-bae  @littledeadrottinghood  @justendlesssummerfeels  @whitewolfsnow  @multireality  @a--1--1--3  @some-random-stranger-007  @avengemepercy  @20gayneen  @clockworkherondale

Steve Rogers:

@an-anonymoususer

Bucky tags:

@chuuulip  @nerd-without-a-cause  @natashasnight  @dragonrosegardens

#Steve x reader #distrust #bucky x reader #finally #bucky x sad reader #bucky x happy reader #bucky x black reader #bucky barnes x reader #Steve rogers x reader angst #angst series #flangst #fluffy stuff

[fuckyeahdarcylewis]

The Steve Rogers Guide to Social Distancing

by kittykatdennings94

Listen, I've yet to see a Steve/Darcy quarantine fic and just... THIS IS PRIME REAL ESTATE PEOPLE. If no one else is going to write a fic where these two idiots are neighbors who fall in love (all while maintaining a CDC-approved distance of 6 feet), then I guess I'm going to have to do it myself.

For the sake of this dumb little fic, this is set in a magical timeline where Civil War didn't happen and somehow Bucky is a-okay and shacking up with Natasha. Because I recognize how tragic our current state of affairs are, I'm not going to land on a jokey, fun tone until I'm done establishing the major pandemic-related plot points at the start of this fic. Then we shall see where I go with it.

Words: 3119, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Darcy Lewis, Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)

Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: the quarantine fiction no one asked for, they're NEIGHBORS karen, god I would apologize but I write this for ME in this time of TURMOIL, Set in a magical world where Civil War never happens, but Bucky is recovered and around, post-AoU, no-meet-cute, socially distant, but emotionally CLOSE, i use questionable scientific terms, steve is ashamed of himself often, this is gratuitous

via AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers' https://ift.tt/2Xgpa2P

#AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers' #darcy lewis #steve rogers #darcy x steve #fanfictions

[imagine-avengers]

Biker Part Two- Clint Barton Series

This is Part Two of my Biker Clint Series, part one is listed on my masterlist as will all other parts once they come out. As I stated in part one, this series hasn’t been finished as of July 12, 2020 but I am working on finishing it.

-

Bucky had left Olivia to fend for herself after a while, seeing as he had things to take care of that involved the club. Olivia stayed at the bar staring at the wall for a while before moving behind it and searching for the coffee so she could make a fresh pot.

“Clint?” Olivia’s voice carried through the clubhouse and over to Clint, though he hadn’t heard her without his hearing aids. Walking towards him, and stopping in his view, causing him to turn his full attention to her. “Coffee?” She signed desperate for the caffeine, though she was tired, she knew sleeping would only bring the nightmares. “For fucksake Barton, turn on your damn hearing aids.” She spoke causing him to chuckle as he read her lips and turned on the hearing aids.

“I’ll see you guys tomorrow.” Clint set down the pool stick and headed towards Olivia. “Come on, we’ll stop at the diner and grab coffee and then go home.” Olivia nodded and took the hand Clint offered her.

The ride to the small diner in town was relatively quiet. Clint had agreed to drive with Olivia in her car as she had all her things in it. Pulling up at the small diner which the two had frequented for years. Clint offered to go in and grab them both a coffee before rejoining her in the car.

“You still have Lucky?” Olivia asked softly, speaking of the dog Clint had saved from a rival club years before.

“Yeah, he missed you.” Clint spoke looking at her. “Doesn’t much like my cuddles like he liked yours. It was hard on him after you left, hard on me.” Clint muttered the last part.

“I’m sorry.” Olivia spoke as they pulled up to the small suburban house.

The outside was a pale green, and had a small front yard, a path up the middle from the sidewalk to the front porch. To the side of the house was a garage, which the roll door had been broken since the couple had moved in, and to the side of that sat two garbage cans and a recycling bin. The backyard was large, a small swing-set that sat in the corner of the yard had been there since the previous owners, the picket fence that Clint and Bucky built the week the house was bought, was painted a bright white, with flowers, bees, birds, and butterflies, the gate was slightly crooked from the time Clint and Olivia had gotten drunk at a barbeque and after everyone left they ended up having sex against it. What Oliva smiled at was the small mailbox that sat at the end of the pathway was painted a white, with Clint’s and Olivia’s handprints along with Lucky’s pawprint.

“Welcome home.” Clint spoke as he climbed out of the car. Olivia stared at the house before noticing Lucky in the front window wagging his tail.

“Lucky.” Olivia spoke climbing out of the car herself and pushing passed Clint and into the house. “Hi baby boy.” Olivia spoke to the lab as she fell to the floor and hugged him, the dog jumping on her and licking her face which caused her to laugh. “Oh, I missed you baby.” Olivia kissed his face whilst she pets him. “You’ve been such a good boy for daddy, haven’t you?” Olivia smiled at him. “Has daddy been giving you treats?” This caused Lucky to start jumping around and wagging his table. “You want a treat huh? You want a treat baby?” Olivia stood and headed to the kitchen where Clint had them. Olivia gave Lucky a treat whilst Clint shed his kutte and locked the doors. “You redecorated the living room.” Olivia noticed there was a new couch, it was light beige and not the white that they used to have.

“Yeah, the couch needed an upgrade, Bucky and Nat stayed here when their place was being fumigated for termites and they broke it.” Clint shrugged as he watched Lucky go and lay in his bed that sat in the corner of the living room.

“Clint?” Olivia asked. “Why’d you pull away from me?” She asked softly. “Before I left, after we got married, you became distant, you were never home. Why?” Clint sighed and moved to sit on the couch before taking a drink of his coffee and patting the spot next to him.

“Come sit.” Olivia moved and sat next to him, Lucky immediately moved from his bed and laid on Olivia’s lap. “It wasn’t because I didn’t love you Liv, I love you more than anything, except maybe Lucky,” Clint rubbed the dogs head. “I pulled away because I was scared Liv, we were just married, and there were threats against the club, I didn’t want to pull you down with us, I tried to put some distance until everything passed and by the time it did, it was too late to fix things. I found the divorce papers on the kitchen table and you were gone, the only things left, your ring, a picture from our wedding, the divorce papers and a note telling me to send the papers to the lawyer once I signed. You didn’t even tell me you were leaving.” He spoke.

“You never gave me a chance to talk to you Clint, you were never here, and when you were, I was at work.” Olivia spoke. “When did you want me to tell you I wanted a divorce? Skip work and tell you? Come to the club and announce it in front of everyone? You never gave me a chance.” Olivia’s voice dropped as she looked down at the dog. “You abandoned me emotionally for three months, we came back from our honeymoon talking about wanting to start a family and not a month later you were pulling away from me. You thought pulling away was what you needed to do, but what I needed you to do was talk to me because we came back and I thought, I thought you changed your mind about me, about wanting a family. I went three months having to watch people with families going in and out of the store, having something I would never have. I left the divorce papers because I thought it was what you wanted.”

“It wasn’t.” Clint interrupted her.

“How was I to know that? Anytime I tried to talk to you, you would mumble and go lock yourself in another room. I cried myself to sleep thinking I was no longer good enough for you, that you’d found someone better. My implant was scheduled for removal because we wanted to start a family, I had to explain to my doctor why I needed a new prescription for it, do you know how humiliating it was to basically tell her I was getting a divorce cause my husband lost interest in me? Do you know how humiliating it was to have to call my dad for help? Tell him I needed money because you didn’t love me anymore? I was broken Clint, for years.” Olivia moved to stand, Lucky moving off her. “I left because you stopped acting like my husband, you started acting like a roommate, not the love of my life and I won’t apologize for leaving, it bettered me. I have a degree and a sense of respect for myself.” Olivia moved and threw her coffee cup away. “I tried to save our marriage for months Clint. I planned dates, I planned nights in, I tried to talk to you, I tried everything, it was never enough.” She said softly. “You told me you didn’t want to have kids with me.” Olivia had tears streaming down her face at this point, refusing to look at him. “That was the last straw Clint, you coming home and telling me you didn’t want children with me. Do you understand how much that killed me? How hard it was for me to hear those words from you? Did you really think I’d stay after that? After I had my heart ripped out again and again by you? Because if you did, then you’re an idiot.” Olivia said.

“Livvy.” Clint spoke as he followed her. “It was never you that was the problem, I was scared for your life.” Olivia spun around towards him.

“You should have told me Clint, talked to me about the FBI being in town, that’s what a marriage is Clint, talking to your significant other! Communication.”

“I know, I’m sorry Liv, please.” Clint stepped towards her and reached into his pocket pulling out her wedding ring. “Marry me again, we’ll do things right this time.” Olivia shifted on her feet, four years away and Clint still made butterflies erupt in her stomach.

“We’re already married you doof.” She rolled her eyes at him.

“Well remarry me, we’ll renew our vows, have Lucky be my best-man again, please Liv?”

“You need to communicate with me Clint, on everything, club related or not.” Olivia spoke as Clint nodded. “Lucky.” Olivia looked towards the golden lab that had one eye. “You think mommy and daddy should get remarried?” Lucky jumped off the couch wagging his tail. “Yeah?” Olivia looked up at Clint. “Our son has spoken.” She whispered as Clint grinned before slipping the ring on her finger.

“Gods I love you.” Clint spoke before crashing his lips to her. “I didn’t mean I didn’t want kids with you Livvy, gods do I want to see kids of our own running around, but at the time, we were young, and with the FBI and the threats against the club, I just meant it wasn’t a good time to be trying.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me that?” Olivia asked. “I would have understood if you said you wanted to wait, but you told me you didn’t want kids,”

“I know what I said. I worded it wrong, I want kids with you, and only you Livvy.” Olivia stared into his eyes a moment and nodded.

“Okay.” Olivia spoke softly and the two spent the night recounting everything that had happened and worked through their issues, for the most part.

-

“Barton Mechanic’s, how can I help you?” Olivia spoke as she answered the phone at the mechanic shop that Clint’s dad had owned before he passed away. “I can have a tow truck your way in say twenty minutes?” Olivia spoke whilst typing a request for the tow. “Thank you so much, we’ll see you soon.” Hanging up, Olivia made eye contact with a boy, no more than sixteen. “You must be Peter, Clint said you’d be stopping by.” The boy didn’t speak at first before he began stuttering.

“Pete.” Another boy, the same age spoke as he elbowed him. “Sorry about him, I’m Harley.” Shaking Olivia’s hand, the boy winked. “Clint said there was a car to work on.”

“Yes, the red Honda.” Pointing towards the car that was sitting on the lift. “Needs breaks and the fuel lines flushed.”

“Clint didn’t mention who you were.” Harley spoke as Olivia smiled.

“Olivia Barton, Clint’s wife.” She spoke. “You guys are Tony and Pepper’s kids right?” Olivia asked as Harley nodded just as Clint came walking in from grabbing coffee, Lucky running straight for her.

“There’s my baby.” Oliva moved around the couch and began cooing at the dog. “Oh, did daddy get you a treat? Yes, he did my love oh you’re such a good boy, yes you are.” Olivia made kissy faces at the dog.

“Hey where’s mine?” Clint whine as Olivia stood up and pressed a kiss against Clint’s lips before taking the coffee from his hand.

“God, I need like four more cups.” She spoke taking a drink of the coffee. “Thank you, sweets.” Olivia winked at Clint as she began typing on the computer again. “We have a tow truck out picking up a car that broke down on the freeway, you want to handle it or Luke?”

“Luke can, Bucky and Steve are coming over to go over the details of a ride, plus I think Bucky wants to talk about your parents coming for a visit.”

“Both of them? At the same time?” Olivia asked.

“He thinks they should come to the renewal.”

“You told him about that! Clint do you want to be shot by my brother, again?”

“God no.” Clint rubbed his arm as Olivia said that. “But he thinks they’ll be able to handle it.”

“Clint, mom left dad because of the club, mom doesn’t approve of Bucky being in the club or me marrying you the first time, the only kid of hers that she’s proud of is Rebecca.” Olivia sighed as Clint chuckled. “Hell, she doesn’t speak to Frances or Mary either.” Olivia spoke of her younger sisters; she was the middle of the five children.

“It’ll be fine babe. I have some work to do.” Clint kissed Olivia before he went to his office, leaving Olivia working whilst Lucky laid in his bed near the garage door. Around thirty minute later, the tow truck came in with the minivan and Luke came out from under the truck he had been working on. Olivia looked up from the computer, her eyes falling onto a pregnant woman’s stomach, she couldn’t have been more than three months.

“Is Clint around? He’s an old friend.” Olivia recognized the voice and looked up, eyes locking with the same blue ones she shared with her brother.

“Rebecca.”

#Biker Clint Barton Series #clint barton imagine #clint barton au #clint barton x oc #clint barton series

[darcy-and-steve]

by kittykatdennings94

Listen, I've yet to see a Steve/Darcy quarantine fic and just... THIS IS PRIME REAL ESTATE PEOPLE. If no one else is going to write a fic where these two idiots are neighbors who fall in love (all while maintaining a CDC-approved distance of 6 feet), then I guess I'm going to have to do it myself.

For the sake of this dumb little fic, this is set in a magical timeline where Civil War didn't happen and somehow Bucky is a-okay and shacking up with Natasha. Because I recognize how tragic our current state of affairs are, I'm not going to land on a jokey, fun tone until I'm done establishing the major pandemic-related plot points at the start of this fic. Then we shall see where I go with it.

Words: 3119, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Captain America (Movies), Thor (Movies)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/M

Characters: Steve Rogers, Darcy Lewis, Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)

Relationships: Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers

Additional Tags: the quarantine fiction no one asked for, they're NEIGHBORS karen, god I would apologize but I write this for ME in this time of TURMOIL, Set in a magical world where Civil War never happens, but Bucky is recovered and around, post-AoU, no-meet-cute, socially distant, but emotionally CLOSE, i use questionable scientific terms, steve is ashamed of himself often, this is gratuitous

darcysteve love via AO3 works tagged 'Darcy Lewis/Steve Rogers'

#darcy x steve #starcy #shieldshock #IFTTT #Feedly

[whiskeyant]

The Rules

Characters: Bucky x reader

Summary: You both agreed to the rules before this began. It never occurred to you that either would ever want more.

Warnings: Light smut, light angst,

Words: 1.2k

 A/N: I’m thinking about making a continuation of this, maybe with an actual resolution. Let me know what you think!

 The rules were simple: keep it physical. When you proposed the idea to Bucky, you had both agreed this was for the best. Just sex; nothing more, nothing less. You both had your share of trauma and heartbreak, and neither wanted to add onto that unending pile. Bucky had even confessed to you one night over casual drinks that he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to recover from his past. So, it was an easy decision for both of you to let loose with each other, and keep things light and breezy and string-free. And so, you created a set of rules to keep each other at a distance.

Rule one; leave once its over. No staying over in each other rooms, no holding each other in the afterglow, and definitely no touching outside of the bedroom.

 To the rest of the team, you were friends. And barely even that.

 Rule two; nothing emotional. No pillow talks late at night, no heartfelt confessions. Kissing each other, you told him, was off the table. That was too sweet, to intimate.

 Too much like you cared about each other.

 And the final rule? Do not catch feelings.

 Ever.

 Should either of you break a rule, the deal was off. You agreed to go your separate ways, chalk it all up to a fun experience, and move forward.  

So, when Bucky Barnes caught himself looking at you from across the briefing room, wondering what you were thinking about while you nibbled on the fruit spread that Stark had indulged on, he knew he should hit the brakes.

 He knew he was lost when you walked by him and his heart sped up, and his hands itched to reach out to you to hold you.

 When he crept to your room late at night after a nightmare, he knew to disguise it as the need for a quick fuck. He would never admit to you that all he wanted after waking up in a cold sweat, dreams still chasing him, was to see you. To touch you, to hold you in whatever manner you would allow him.

 He let himself imagine that when you sneaked into his room one afternoon that you craved the same intimacy that he did. Deluded himself into believing that you would break a rule, break all the rules, if you knew for sure that he wouldn’t run.

 He had regretted agreeing to your rules from day one. But this arrangement you had set up with him allowed him to be closer to you physically than he ever would have gotten before. He hadn’t lied to you, about his fears of being too broken. He just never told you the whole fear; that Hydra had broken him once, and that in giving himself to you, you would break him again.

 Some nights he thinks you already have.

 Most nights, he knows that he would willingly let you break him, because it was you that helped make him whole.

 He hovers over you when you seek him out tonight, nibbling on your neck and being extra careful not to kiss you. His heart skips at every whimper and moan that you breathe out. Bucky moves slowly between your legs, savoring every moment and dragging it out as long as he can. Bucky reveals in the warmth of you, and the stability that your hands on his shoulders have brought him. Some nights, like tonight, it almost felt like you were holding him. You bring him back to earth when his mind got too wild.

 Your mewls spur him on, your legs wrapping around his waist to bring him closer as you clenched around him. Bucky’s hips stutter against your own, hands gripping the bedsheets, he buries his face into your hair as he shudders from his release.

 He looks down at you, your lazy smile and fucked out expression.

 Heart racing, mind fuzzy, he drops his head onto your shoulder and places a feather light kiss against your clavicle. The moment his lips touch your skin, you still beneath him.

 “Bucky,” you warn, voice high and nervous. Bucky’s heart pounds against his ribs as he slowly slides himself out of you, immediately missing your warmth. He rolls over onto his back, shell shocked at what he’d done. He’d broken a rule, would you leave? Would you end this? Would you break one too?

 Did he dare hope?

 He risks a glance at you, your face was still flushed and your chest was still heaving. Your hair was in disarray, just as his was he assumed, and the sheets were tangled around you. Just as Bucky brings his flesh hand up to you face to brush a stray piece of hair behind your ear, you bolt upright in his bed. Bucky’s hand freezes as he watches you get out of his bed and start trying to collect the clothing that he had scattered around his room in his desperation to be close to you.

 “Wait,” he chokes out, still frozen on the bed. Your shirt was halfway over your head when you turned to look at him, an eyebrow cocked in question. His mind stalls, trying to find the words, the phrases, to get you to stay with him. He is at a loss.

 “Will you stay?”

 You heave a sigh, pulling your shirt the rest of the way down your chest as you continued to look for your missing panties. You turn away from him, chewing on your lip in concentration.

 “Bucky,” you sighed again, and Bucky felt his heart fall somewhere among the scattered clothes.

 “I know, (Y/N), I know.” Bucky flopped back onto his bed, willing his voice to stay even and his hands to stop shaking and his eyes to stay dry. “Just forget it.” He can’t watch as you collect the rest of your clothing. He wishes he couldn’t hear you patter to his door and creak it open as you slip out into the compound. The soft click of the door locking behind you is nearly too much for him to bear.

 He had ruined it, just like he feared he would. Distantly, pathetically, he knew you would never sneak into his room to find physical comfort with him again. He wondered, should he knock on your door late at night if you would open it, or leave him in the hall. It only took a moment of heartache, laying alone in his bed, for him to decided that he never wanted to know the answer. But he also knew, try as he might to deny it, that you took his heart with him every time you left him.

 He knew what he was getting himself into, pretended that he was okay with keeping things emotionally distant. What he never realized was how deep he was in with you until it was too late.

 You never realized, either. Until you were walking back to your room, feeling as though you had left a piece of you, an important piece, behind. You fall onto your bed, and wonder when exactly you let yourself get in too deep with Bucky Barnes, and if you had just ruined whatever it was between you two.

 You fall asleep that night wondering what exactly it would feel like to have Bucky wrapped around you as you sleep, and it doesn’t take long for you to decide that you don’t mind the thought. You sleep peacefully, chasing dreams of a handsome man with heartbreakingly-blue eyes.

 You wake to an empty bed.

#bucky barnes #bucky x you #bucky x reader #bucky fluff #bucky imagine #marvel #mutual pining #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you

[timeisacephalopod]

Little Things

An AU in which Tony falls into another universe and everything is the same, except Bucky has a bigger dick and Tony can’t remember anniversaries for shit. This is vaguely set in the normal MCU but also its like. Teasing canon by yelling ‘I’m not touching you!’ at it repeatedly rather than actually being anywhere near canon.

Tony doesn’t know how he gets into these situations so often but here he is, in the wrong universe. That’s the only explanation for this... discrepancy. He looks down at Bucky’s uh- fuck sakes, that thing can barely even be called a penis. “What’d we do on our first date?” he asks, sure that this is not something that happened over night. And if it is he needs to reverse this dick on steroids thing because Tony is frightened of what that will do to his ass.

Bucky frowns, confused with the sudden change of direction. “We uh... didn’t really have a fist date on account of deciding we’d probably look better out of clothes than in them,” he says, grinning.

On topic all things considered but come on, they had the same first date in two different universes? Improbable. “What’s my favorite color?” he asks, realizing too late that’s a dumb question. Even he knows this universe’s Tony prefers red too.

“Red?” Bucky asks, baffled at the question. Fair enough.

“On our third date you mentioned a conspiracy theory, what was it?” he asks, squinting. There’s no way that can be the same in both universes.

“Polybius?” Bucky asks and oh what the fuck? This is just ridiculous.

“Fine, whatever,” he mumbles, “ask me a question with an answer only I would know. Make it good, my questions sucked.”

Bucky squints, clearly confused. “Um. Okay, what’s the cat’s birthday?” he asks and who the fuck would even know something like that?

“In what universe would I know when the fucking cat’s birthday is? I don’t even remember my birthday most of the time,” he says. The cat’s birthday. Who has that information?

His answer at least results in Bucky looking as confused and suspicious as he is. “When’s your birthday?” he asks and Tony rolls his eyes.

“May seventh,” he says and Bucky squints.

“Its May twenty eighth,” he says, confused. “How do you not know your own birthday?”

Is it really? There’s no way, he’s been celebrating it on the seventh since forever though now that he thinks about it he used to celebrate it later in the month. Shit. “How old am I?” he asks, wondering if he has the year right too.

“You’re forty nine,” Bucky says and he’s what?

“I’m old!” he wails. “I’ve got one foot on a banana peel and another in the grave!” he yells. He thought he was forty five and that’s fucking pushing it okay he is not prepared to find out all those years of anguish over being old were for nothing because he’s basically dust!

“You’re not my Tony, are you?” Bucky asks and yeah, no.

“What clued you in?” he asks.

“My Tony never forgets a date, even the arbitrary ones like the cat’s birthday. I don’t actually know the answer to that but he would. What tipped you off?” he asks, realizing that Tony knew before he did.

“That,” Tony says, pointing at his dick, “is not my Bucky’s.”

Bucky smacks his palm to his forehead. “I guess some things are the same in all universes.”

*

Tony is so insulted when he gets back to his right spot Bucky didn’t even fucking notice he was gone. Turns out the cat sure as hell had, she didn’t like Other Tony, who seemed to clue in somewhat late that he wasn’t n the right universe.

“Oh come on, he’s just like you,” Bucky says in his own defense.

“When’s the cat’s birthday?” he asks Other Tony.

“August fifth,” he says easily and Tony squints, then turns to Bucky.

“Clearly he isn’t fucking me, I don’t know that shit because who the fuck knows their cat’s birthday? You didn’t even notice I was gone?” he asks. “And who was going to tell me my birthday is on May twenty eighth? Or that I’m forty fucking nine! Fuck you guys, you’re all horrible!”

“Wait, you don’t know your birthday or your age?” Other Tony asks, frowning.

“No. We’ve all been watching him celebrate the wrong birth date for the last six years wondering when he’ll clue in, but its kind of funny so we leave it,” Bucky says.

Oh so they did do this on purpose. He needs new friends. He should date Steve, he’s probably too much of a boy scout to pull this shit with him. And it doubles as good revenge on Bucky. Now he’s out a boyfriend and a best friend.

Other Tony looks at him like he’s stupid before shaking his head. “Did my Bucky notice the difference?” he asks.

Tony so wants to say no but that’s technically not true so he goes for Maximum Damage in a different way because he refuses to be the only Tony to suffer god damnit. “Not until we almost slept together,” he tells Other Tony, who makes an offended noise at the same time Bucky does.

“You cheated on me?” he asks, hurt.

“You fucker, I at least realized he wasn’t you, you didn’t even fucking notice and lets not act like you didn’t kiss the other me at least once asshole. Payback’s a bitch.”

“So he did realize you weren’t me?” Other Tony asks and Tony shrugs.

“Couldn’t remember when the cat’s birthday was, apparently you’re a freak who remembers shit like that.”

Other Tony looks more touched than he should because hello, his Bucky totally cheated on him. “I didn't think he remembered things like that about me anymore,” he murmurs and Bucky frowns.

“What do you mean?”

“Marital problems, really?” he asks and Other Tony frowns.

“Wait, how’d you figure out you were in the wrong universe anyway? I’m guessing the ring, but everything here is the same except Bucky seemed to actually care about me, which was kind of weird, but he does that sometimes so I didn’t pay attention to it,” he says.

The ring? Shit, yeah, Bucky had been wearing a ring now that he thinks about it. Um. Okay, oops. “No uh... his dick is huge,” Tony says and his Bucky gives him an offended look.

“Are you saying I have a small dick?” he asks and Tony rolls his eyes.

“No, you don’t get it. This thing was clearly the results of freak government experiments, that shit wasn’t right. You have a normal dick, one that doesn’t make me fear for my colon. I have never felt that body part shiver in fear until I saw that freak dick coming at me and I knew I wasn’t in the right place.” He turns to Other Tony, “you put that thing inside you? I think the notion of hubris is stupid and usually used as an excuse to hold people back but you have too much of it if you go around putting that thing anywhere near your asshole,” he says, waving a hand around.

Bucky looks surprised at this and he damn well should be. Thank fuck he got the Bucky with a normal dick. Maybe in this universe Steve has the Monster Cock, he doesn’t know and he doesn’t care to know.

“Absolutely not, I value my colon. I top,” Other Tony says, finally having some damn sense. Maybe he memorizes cat’s birthdays like a dumbass but at least he’s normal in some other aspect of life.

“Great. Fuck off to your own freak universe where I guess you have marriage problems and take Bucky to see someone about his dick. I’m serious, I’m not sure that’s normal,” he says.

“The guy has a big dick, that’s not a medical problem,” Other Tony says, rolling his eyes.

“If you try and stick that thing in an orifice it will be. Back to your own universe and then to a doctor,” he says, making a shooing motion at himself.

*

Alright, Steve shouldn’t laugh but when Sam told him he couldn’t help it. Clearly Rhodey is in the same boat because he’s wheezing hard as he doubles over and Bucky looks offended. “So this Bucky has a pencil dick?” he he asks, words barely even making it out of his mouth. Bucky gives him an even more offended look and Sam grins in obvious glee. Steve elbows him because that’s rude. There's no need to poke fun at Bucky though he should have guessed that was Sam’s motivation.

“He does not,” Tony says, “his dick is normal. Its his freak counterpart that’s the weird one. Seriously, that thing looked like it was lopped off the Hulk and grafted to his body and somehow turned peach. I am more than happy with my Bucky’s dick thank you. I’m not concerned about medical issues with it, it's fine. Perfectly adequate, Its the fact that he didn’t even notice I was gone that’s the problem,” he says, giving Bucky a look.

Sam neglected to tell him that! “Buck!” Steve says, horrified. “How is it possible that you didn’t know Tony was another Tony!”

Bucky throws his hands up, “oh I have a freak dick in another universe, and I’m emotionally distant in another universe, and I can’t tell Tony apart from a Tony that’s exactly the same as him except he remembers dates and knows his fucking birthday. Come on, how was I supposed to know?” he asks.

“Oh, freak dick you also has the emotional range of a teaspoon? Not surprising,” Sam says and Steve gives him another look. Sam shrugs, unrepentant.

Rhodey lets out a loud shriek of laughter, “oh my god the other Tony knows how old he is? That’s the difference? That’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever heard! I can’t believe the difference between you and other you is that he’s not a total dunce!” Rhodey says, clapping.

Tony flips him off, “who remembers how old they are anyway?” he mumbles. Literally everyone but him, Steve wants to say, but he leaves it.

#winteriron #tony x bucky #fanfiction #canon divergent au