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#Buff Jaskier that doesn't know he's buff!
thelostgirl21 · 6 months
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Okay, I felt like this post (by @panur & @underthebluerain) deserved some visuals, so people could really understand and truly appreciate just how dramatic the difference in body sizes and shapes between these two gorgeous, absolutely lovely men, is!
And just how skilled the costume design team is, on the show, when it comes to giving the illusion that a character is much smaller (in Jaskier's case) or much larger (in Radovid's case), than their actors actually are.
There was an incredible post, a while back, that really explained how those wizards work their magic!
And it's utterly fascinating!!! Seriously, if you haven't read all of that yet, I highly suggest you go and take a look!
But yeah, when you look at the way their clothes have been designed this season, there's definitely been some attempt to make Jaskier look generally smaller than Joey Batey really is, while making Radovid look generally bigger than Hugh Skinner really is, too.
A few examples (with my extremely humble interpretation / things that have grabbed my eye when I look at their costumes. Please bear in mind that I am but an humble fan with no experience in costume design, so there's probably tons of stuff I've missed, and/or I might have misinterpreted some of those designers' intent):
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Then, of course, there's Radovid's cloak that just... triples his size or something!
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So, when you look at them side by side with their clothes on (even without the cloak), there really doesn't seem to be such a huge difference in body size and shape between the two.
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Why are they so pretty though?
Like yeah, you do get the sense that Radovid might be a bit leaner, and that he has a longer torso, perhaps, but it's not THAT dramatic of a difference...
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As soon as you get them out of their costumes, however...
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On that last gif, you can really see that Joey's roughly the same height as Henry Cavill, and get the sense that he'd probably fit really well in a Witcher's armor, too!
Technically, their heights are listed as: - Henry Cavill: 1,85cm (6 ft 7/8 in) - Hugh Skinner: 1,83cm (6 ft) - Joey Batey 1,82cm (5 ft 11 5/8 in)
So, Joey's like 1 1/8" smaller than Henry and 3/8" smaller than Hugh.
Since I'm ½" taller than my own partner and virtually never realize it, I doubt they'd notice that 3/8" difference between them.
But yeah, one of the really funny "side effects" of costume designers being so good at their job is when you somehow manage to forget about it while watching the show and then this happens:
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and your brain needs a moment to re-calibrate its settings because you're like "Right! Buff bard! Right... 6 feet tall really strong looking damsel in distress that keeps complaining Geralt could break him like a twig, when it would be something closer to splitting a log!"
Makes you wonder if people in Jaskier's family are just... naturally muscular or something (lots of fast-twitch muscle fibers?!)?
Because, while Joey is apparently into climbing, kick boxing, swimming, fencing, medieval sword fighting, etc.
Jaskier complained about needing to walk down the path of a mountain on his own, because his fancy boots kept sliding.
He does a lot of traveling and walking, sure... But that doesn't really help you develop your upper body / pectorals / arms, etc. in such a way!
Unless he just... likes the way those muscles aesthetically look on him?
You know, I really wouldn't put it past him, now that I think about it...
Over the years, Jaskier has just developed his very own calisthenics workout routine to build and maintain his looks, but feels the need to hide it.
Because "body fitness" is not exactly a popular discipline on the Continent at that time.
People tend to train to learn how to fight, or develop muscle mass while working the land or their craft, not because "they like the way those muscles look on them when taking their clothes off!"
So, Jaskier wears clothes that hide his actual body shape, since he's afraid that, if people saw and noticed how built he really is, then they'd just assume he knows how to fight and defend himself, when he doesn't.
People might stop shoving him out of harm's way, pulling him behind them to stand between him and the danger, coming to his rescue, etc.
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And, since Jaskier's whole ongoing survival sort of depends on people spontaneously stepping in to save his sorry arse, well...
In the bedroom, however, the added bit of upper body strength and endurance does wonder when you want to be able to fuck someone against a wall while keeping their feet off the ground (for example).
Being able to lift and carry more than your own weight definitely has its advantages...
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As Radovid has no doubt found out...
And, if the prince turned out to be a bit lighter and easier to carry around than Jaskier was initially expecting him to be, you definitely won't hear him complaining, either!
Although, I must admit that part of me also likes the idea that they might have been able to accurately "size each other up", so to speak.
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Radovid's just there looking at all the lines and proportions on Jaskier's pants and shirt, while figuring out where his shoulders and arms actually stop underneath; being both fascinated by the actual size of Jaskier's body, and the choice of clothing design that's making him look much smaller than he appears to be (if his calculations are, indeed, correct)...
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While Jaskier's just looking at all those layers covering Radovid, while attempting to get a rough estimate of the total naked weight underneath, and for how long he could keep him lifted... Hypothetically... For science...
But even there, there's a huge difference between knowing those clothes are playing with your perceptions and briefly getting a mental glimpse of what you think might be closer to the truth... And actually gazing upon or getting your hands all over said truth!
Because sincerely, no amount of me trying to look at this while attempting to make abstraction of the whole illusion created by the clothing design:
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is successfully going to be able to make me see this:
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Hence why I tend to forget about it, and need a moment to re-calibrate almost every single time Jaskier winds up getting shirtless!
Seriously, just look at the bottom gif of him shirtless, then at the top where he's got his clothes on a few times, one after the other, and try to tell me that you're able to visualize where all of that body at the bottom is managing to fit in there at the top!
It's like part of it literally went missing!
So, even if Radovid had managed to guess that Jaskier was a lot buffer than his choice of clothing was letting on, and vice versa, I'm thinking they'd still have been in for quite a bit of a surprise when they actually got each other's clothes removed!
Therefore, that headcanon would still work, regardless of Jaskier and Radovid having guessed that each of them used their clothes to make themselves appear less threatening, or more imposing than they really are.
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abluescarfonwaston · 3 years
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I’ve Got you
Whumptober prompt 7: Carrying! Featuring Doesn’t know he’s Buff Buff!Jaskier!
“No- no no no no! Geralt Geralt you have to wake up. You have to get up! Geralt I don’t think you got all of them and oh gods oh gods we’re going to die. Yep. Yep oh gods we are so dead.”
His head lolled. “Go.” He managed between the blood loss and dizziness. Tried to push him away with a heavy hand. “Run.” He didn’t have the strength to order or request. So he begged. “Go.”
“Fuck off.” The bard snapped. Looking around terrified. “I’m not leaving you and that’s final.”
It would be. It would be the fools final act.
He woke up on a bed.
He looked around the room. Alarmed.
Jaskier groaned from the floor where he was massaging his legs.
He didn’t want to ask.
Jaskier looked up and he knew he wouldn’t have to.
“Finally awake I see! What do you have to say to your hero Geralt? Your Savior? The man to which you owe your very life?”
“Bullshit.”
He squawked. “How dare you! I carried you into town on my back no less and you have the gall- the audacity- to call me a liar?” 
“There is no way you did that.” He sized Jaskier up in his frilly clothing. “Tell the truth.”
Jaskier glowered at him. He pouted and went back to massaging his legs.
“I actually did something heroic for once- my arms and legs are killing me by the way - and you don’t believe me. Of course.”
“You do lie. Alot.” He pointed out. Completely justified in his response. “Or would you like to tell me again how you killed that bruxa last month?”
He sputtered angrily from the floor.
“Master Jaskier?” A girl poked her head from behind the screen in the room. “Your baths ready.”
“You got me a bath?” He asked.
“No!” Jaskier chortled. “I got me a bath. You are not allowed to get the bandages wet.” 
He stood and tossed off layers, stopping only to thank the girl with a quick kiss on the cheek. She blushed red and quickly made her way for the door. She hesitated. Stole a final peek back at his- undoubtedly- undressed form before blushing even darker and closing the door as she fled.
He tried to inspect the wounds. They’d been wrapped and he could smell some concoction applied to them. By far more skilled hands than Jaskier’s- who could not stand the sight of blood without nausea and shaking.
“Did you spend my entire reward on a room and healer?” He growled.
“No- the healer gave me a very reasonable price and you spent most of your reward on this very lovely room.”
“Stop wasting my money!”
Jaskier sloshed around in the tub. Mocking him with a bath he could not enjoy. 
“You’re the one that said a witcher never dies in his bed.”
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“It’s your bed. You bought it.” He saw the shadow of Jaskier’s leg in the screen. Stuck high out of the water as he scrubbed it. “So you couldn’t die.”
“You're an idiot.”
“I will remind you which one of us graduated from Oxenfurt.”
“And when was the last time that was useful?”
Jaskier snorted. He offered no answer, instead singing through the remainder of his bath.
Jaskier’s voice was a terrible thing. Because it was so devastatingly beautiful that it made it easy to forget how much trouble and havoc its owner caused.
He relaxed into the bed and enjoyed it.
“I did carry you into town you know.” The water splashed as he exited. “Pure adrenaline of course. I mean it was either carry you or get eaten.”
“You could have run.”  He cracked open an eye. “Like I told you to.”
“No. That was never an option.” He swore he heard Jaskier smirk. “I hate running.”
“I’ll ask.” He threatened.
“No you won’t. You hate talking to strangers. Even though that’s literally half your job.”
Jaskier stepped out from behind the screen. Waist alone wrapped in a short towel.
He’d opened his mouth to respond. No words came out.
A drop fell from his hair. Running down the broad plain of his hirsute chest. Disappearing to parts unknown beneath the towel. Muscle flexed powerfully in his massive biceps as he ran his fingers through his disheveled hair.
He squatted with a slight grimace digging through their bags for clothing. The towel rolled up over the trunks of his thighs.
“You know the fact we didn’t get eaten probably implies that we escaped from another rabbit but rest assured in my tale I saved you from a very terrifying monstrosity that is certain to take the crowds by storm!” He pulled out his braies and stepped into them. Dropping the towel.
The steel of his legs flexed.
“Mmmm.” He managed around his very dry mouth.
Jaskier blew out the candle. Which only increased the intense shadows of his muscles in greyscale. “Well scoot over bed hog. I’m not buying a second room!”
He did not move. He could not move. He could only watch the deltoids of Jaskier’s arms move in the darkness.
“Ass.” Jaskier complained as he climbed over him. Splaying out next to him.
He believed Jaskier had carried him now. All two hundred pounds of Witcher from the forest into the town.
He wondered where the spindly youth had gone.
And then he wondered far less proper things about the strapping young man.
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I just ran across another gif of Jaskier in the second season without his shirt and I'm not gonna lie. I love Jaskier and Joey but I'm also actually pretty pissed. Joey looks fine even with the small fraction of pudge he had they absolutely did not need to make him get toned for that single fucking scene. I would have appreciated the shirtless scene far more had he been allowed to look his natural self I don't need to see another damn actor who has to dehydrate themselves and be unnaturally toned and unhealthy. I am actually really livid to be honest and I couldn't really bring myself to actually care about the scene at all like I know they intended the audience to. I don't want jaskier buff even by the smallest fraction. He was already kind of at a smaller frame the first season and Joey isn't fat by any means (Though even if he was who the fuck cares) but they had to go that step further and make him work out and tone up and probably very likely go off water to get the muscle definition right just for one damn shirtless scene and I'm truthfully just not into it. Jaskier being thin because he travels a lot and works to make money for food and likely doesn't eat as often as he should is one thing but. Look I'm just irritated because we know why TV shows and movie producers do things like that and isn't for the realism it's for the eye candy they think the audience will like and I for one am tired of it and want actors to stop being forced to do things to get into unrealistic "shape" just so when they are shirtless or naked on screen they're more "palatable" let Joey be his normal slightly pudgy self I like that look more!
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📁 go ✨ wild ✨
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Before there was a normed way of writing the alphabet; in Geralt's youth - when he learned to read and write - they had a different way of writing letters. Every kingdom had their own lettering and Geralt learned how to write the alphabet of Kear Mhoren. (sorry if I spelled that wrong whatevs y'all know what I mean)
So, not only does Geralt write in prose, he writes in old lettering only the dedicated would know how to read by the time Jaskier comes around. And guess what? Jaskier is this kinda need.
Geralt needs ingredients from the market once, for portions, and he can't go so he gives the Bard a list of what to buy. And Geralt is injured so he is relieved he doesn't have to wander around on his wounds and Jaskier is so, so glad he can help for once. And he thinks, wow, kinda scribble-y this handwriting but he was in pain and in a hurry and I understand everything. Let's go, gays, let's go!! to himself and when a shopkeeper is not having it Jaskier buffs and puffs and points to the paper in his hands and is like look, you fool, it stands right here, black on paper, I need ThAt!! and the shopkeeper nearly throws him out cause he can kid himself on his lonesome, this script is older than my great grandfather, what the actual fuck is wrong with the youth... Jaskier has the best and the worst day of his live. But he gets all the stuff on the list. And some honey sweets cause he loves them.
Gerald only remembers that there was a letter reform sometime after his schooling the winter after this when he tries to pen a letter to his bard. Then he gets a small panic attack about the shopping list that culminates in him realising Jaskier is actually able to understand his of letters so he decides to pen the most well written and thought through letter he wrote in decades. Jaskier swoons. His roommate swoons harder cause Jaskier clearly got game. An ye olde letter? Brought by a raven?? Smelling like flowers????
Sorry, I went more ham than anticipated. I hope you enjoyed it anyway? Thank you for the ask anon 💗✨extra info under the cut
The letter reform happened where I live. My great-grandma learned the old letters and how to write cursive with them (all the birthday cards from her were written in it and that only occurred to me in my teenage years) in opposition to me, who accidentally learned how to read the old way by teaching myself. Never get me bored with a book in reaching distance. I will find a way to enjoy reading it!
Heres a link to an Wikipedia article on it <3
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matt-in-the-hat · 4 years
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ok @punk-jaskier said something about trans Jaskier and my brain immediately started spouting my own headcanons so here we go
he's always been very musical but once he realized he was trans he developed a complicated relationship with his voice
however, once he was old enough and had money he started HRT (don't @ me I'm sure there's a magical equivalent)
he changed his name to Julian Alfred because that's the name his parents liked but he goes by Jaskier otherwise because he loves a little pizzazz
the HRT has made him love his voice again but he still has a baby face and no facial hair lol… it happens king
as for binding and stuff, he has a pretty big chest. luckily he can usually pass it off as pec muscles, since he has pretty broad shoulders and buff arms
he finds a mage on his travels with Geralt who specializes in body modifications and saves up for several years to get top surgery
after that, he starts wearing his doublets sluttily unbuttoned all the time because he CAN
he passes pretty well but he still gets misgendered sometimes and he gets really dysphoric about it
one of the things that Geralt does, more than anyone else, is affirm his gender. even when he's insulting Jaskier, he makes sure to emphasize Jaskier's masculinity
that's another thing! I like to think that transphobia exists in that world but that it's pretty rare. most people are pretty accepting of magical transformation and stuff
when it comes to sex… Jaskier trusts really easily (sometimes too easily) so he doesn't worry that his partner will be upset/let down. but sometimes he'll start hooking up with a transphobe or their transphobic spouse will find them and say mean things to him
those nights, he sleeps in his clothes because he doesn't want to get naked again
(this is a more geraskefer specific thing but. imagine he finds out that Yen wants a baby but can't have one. and he doesn't particularly mind having a child as long as he doesn't have to be seen in public for the last few months of the pregnancy. so he carries Geralt's baby and then all three raise it as Ciri's younger sibling)
I also like to imagine Geralt met a very very little Jaskier once but he doesn't know it. he just knows that Jaskier smells familiar from the time they first meet in Posada
and Jaskier doesn't consciously remember Geralt but he instinctively feels safe around the very scary Witcher anyways. that's why he was so fearless in approaching him
also imagine that magical HRT has anti-aging properties. like he's not immortal per se. but he ages super slowly
and Geralt doesn't even notice for the first few decades that Jaskier still looks like a twenty-year-old. until Yen or Ciri points it out to him
just. trans Jaskier :*)
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