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#Bureau of Balance
apollosbisexualass · 1 year
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Just thinking how much it would suck for Lucretia when she was making the Bureau of Balance all static, if the Void Fish decided that that shit was cool and that everyone ought to know about it and just broad casted it all across the universe
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lithiumseven · 6 months
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Ok I’m relistening to the Adventure Zone Balance campaign for the first time since finishing it originally, and I just got to the part where the Director makes them go through the initiation robot fight where the Tres Horny Boys very easily could have gotten their shit absolutely wrecked, and like, hey Lucretia, what the fuck? What the actual fuck was that for?
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bybrendafitz · 1 month
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Lucretia from the Adventure Zone! ✨
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asofteradventurezone · 6 months
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My heart is layers of scar.
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poppysplace-edits · 1 year
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"if you sirs will excuse me, i came here to read books and chew bubble gum, and i'm all out of gum". angus mcdonald icons, ftu with credit <3
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papyskellington · 1 year
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Pure was scream laughing over what I thought the only Davenport panel in the whole of Eleventh Hour was when I was flicking through it,
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ONLY TO FINISH THE BOOK AND FIND HIM IN ABUNDANCE
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I'VE BEEN GNOMED YET AGAIN
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readordiebyemilyt · 1 year
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The Bureau of Balance. (I’m having a lot of fun making TAZ art. 🌂)
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bombdotcomshop · 11 months
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ICYMI: all three (and new) sizes of the TAZ Balance necklace are dropped in the shop!
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yourbelgianthings · 1 year
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hey y'all! i just added a bunch of designs to my redbubble that are versions of the bureau of balance logo with different pride flags! i want to do more taz balance stuff soon but that's what i have for now, i think they're pretty cool ^_^ would love some rbs on this as well pretty please
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anistarrose · 1 month
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growing increasingly invested in the dynamic of the classic Bureau of Balance crew (Carey & Killian, Johann, Avi, Robbie Pringles, etc) all being buddies, except periodically one of them at a time will get possessed by a powerful lich who is trying very hard to pretend he's just a normal member of the Bureau like everyone else, nothing to see here.
I think Barry knows all their names, favorite foods, and interpersonal drama. after the Story & Song the Bureau crew obviously all know a weird amount about the Seven Birds' personal lives, but are shocked to discover that it goes both ways, and Barry knows just as much about them. and they just think... yeah, this might as well happen. this friendgroup was already so goddamn weird. add that lich to the group chat
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susiephone · 1 year
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asofteradventurezone · 6 months
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seek release, boy
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Oh hey I started re-listening to Balance and I had forgotten that when they find the red robe in Wave Echo Cave that Justin asks about the robe's stats and whether he could take it and god can you just imagine if Taako had shown up at the Bureau wearing Lup's robe??
And then I wrote a thing about it.
--
Lucretia thought she was prepared for seeing her brothers again.
She's had time to build up her walls, to steel herself for what she knows will be a painful encounter. She's had a decade now of secrets and privately held regrets and memories, and she's become adept at hiding her emotions, learned how to school all the dismay and sorrow from her expression.
Even so, it takes everything in her to keep her expression neutral when the three of them walk into the room.
Magnus and Merle look in many ways like she expected--though older, ten years older; and she realizes she's never seen them age before. They've been in stasis for a hundred years, always come back each cycle looking exactly the same; but now Merle's wrinkles have deepened, and Magnus has new lines at the corners of his eyes and grey threaded through his hair, even though his body is barely thirty.
The joy and and intense sorrow she feels at the sight of them, with all the changes the past ten years have wrought, is so strong she doesn't think she can hold it inside her.
But what nearly undoes her is when Taako walks in. He looks exactly the same; elves don't age the same way humans do, or even dwarves--but for a moment she thinks--
She knows it's impossible, but for a moment, every signal is telling her brain that the elf in front of her wearing a red robe and carrying a familiar umbrella isn't Taako--it's Lup.
Then she blinks, and her brain recalibrates, and she realizes her mistake.
It's not that she has trouble telling the two apart--after a century living together, the twins lost the ability to fool the others unless they were trying very hard.
But she thinks she could be forgiven for the lapse, because the robe Taako is wearing isn't just any red robe--not some ironic twist, the universe mocking her with echoes.
It's an IPRE robe. Lup's IPRE robe.
And he's holding Lup's umbrastaff, casually slung over his shoulder like it belongs there.
Lucretia has spent any moment she could spare from her search for the Relics trying to find any trace of where Lup might have gone, and has come up empty.
Taako doesn't know what he's lost, hasn't even known to look--but somehow he's succeeded where Lucretia has failed. Clearly, at some point in their recent adventure--
He found Lup.
Or at least, he found Lup's things. What does it mean, that the robe and staff were left somewhere Taako could just pick them up? If Lup left the staff behind, does that mean--
With effort, Lucretia stops her train of thought, forcing herself to take a deep, even breath and push the roil of emotions down deep inside her. Later, she'll be able to sit and think through what this could mean.
For now, she has a part to play.
She straightens her shoulders and smiles, only leaning a little bit extra on her staff as she stands to greet them.
"Welcome, you three. Magnus, Merle, Taako. Killian has told me a lot about you and your...exploits."
She glances over at Killian, who is watching her with a sharp expression. She can't have failed to notice Lucretia's reaction to the robe when Taako walked in. Lucretia wonders what she knows about how Taako got it.
"I wanted to personally thank you for your help in retrieving the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet," she continues. "Thanks to you, an enormous danger has been removed from the world."
Magnus coughs awkwardly. Lucretia knows he's thinking about Phandolin, all those people he failed to save. "Yeah, we uh. We were happy to help."
"Does this thanks come in the form of gold?" Taako asks. "I think retreiving a super magic weapon is worth a reward, right?"
"Or a job? We were told there might be job openings here," Merle adds.
Lucretia laughs a little.
"We'll get to that in a minute," she says. She glances at Killian. "First, I--Taako, I would like to know where you got that robe? It's very--"
"Red," Killian finishes.
Taako looks down at himself. "Oh this thing? Yeah, I picked it up off some skeleton in a cave."
A yawning, empty pit opens up inside Lucretia.
"I figured, he was super dead, so finders keepers." He swoops the ends of the robe a little. "Stylish, right?"
The pit inside Lucretia yawns a little wider.
It's not that she hasn't considered the possibility--probability even--that Lup is dead. And just because her body is dead doesn't mean that she is gone.
But it's the confirmation--and Taako's cavalier description of his sister's bones--that nearly undoes Lucretia for the second time that day.
She grips her staff tight, and forces herself to keep her breathing even. She places one hand behind her back, so that the others can't see the tight fist she's balled it into.
"This was the cave where you first found the gauntlet?"
"Yeah. What about it?"
Lucretia exchanges glances with Killian.
"You all have visited Johann, correct? You've taken the voidfish's ichor?"
"You mean the fish poop?" Taako asks. "Yeah, we drank it. Not my favorite thing ever, I've gotta say."
"Yeah, it was super gross," Magnus puts in.
"Salty," Merle adds. "But I dunno, it had a kinda--"
"Oh my gods, do not--" Taako says.
"I'm just saying, it wasn't the worst thing I've ever tasted."
"Please stop."
Taako pinches the bridge of his nose, and Magnus busts out laughing. Lucretia has to steel herself against another wave of emotion as she watches the three of them banter. The familiarity aches.
She raises her voice a little to be heard over Magnus's laughter. "In that case, you've remembered the Relic Wars."
Magnus sobers instantly.
"The wars were caused by the Grand Relics: a series of extraordinarily powerful magical objects created by a group of magicians that we...refer to...as the Red Robes."
All three of the boys look down at Taako's robe.
"Oh," Merle says.
"Shit," Magnus says.
"Well," Taako says.
"It is very probable that the...the remains you found belonged to a member of that group."
"But that's good though, right?" Magnus says after a moment. "If one of them is dead--that's a good thing? Isn't it? They can't cause any more harm if they're dead."
Lucretia digs a fingernail deep into the palm of the hand behind her back.
"I'm afraid the harm the Grand Relics are capable of will long outlive the Red Robes themselves," she says. "But that's why we're here. We are doing our best to right the wrongs the Red Robes did. To remove the dangers they put into the world with the Relics. And we'd like your help."
"Sounds like a good cause," Merle says. "Does it pay?"
"It does pay," Lucretia says. "Competitively, if I say so myself."
"I'm in," Magnus says.
"Can I ask a quick question?" Taako says.
"Of course," Lucretia says. "I understand if you want more information before--"
"No, no, I'm--as long as the pay is good, I'm all on board," Taako says. "But I wanted to ask--"
He gives the robe a dramatic swish.
"Would it be in bad taste for me to keep the robe? It's just so comfy, you know? Great armor stats."
Taako gives her a shit-eating grin, and Lucretia's head swims for a moment at the image, one part of her brain telling her Lup, it's Lup, while the rest replies no it's not, it's not, she's gone, maybe forever.
She forces a small, rueful smile.
"Well, I can't deny that seeing a red robe around the Bureau regularly might cause some talk, some... discomfort. But we're not in the business of dress codes here. I'll leave it up to you."
"Great!" Taako drawls. "Can't wait to be the fashion talk of the moon!"
And Lucretia can't help but smile genuinely at that--he's still Taako, even after everything.
"Very well." She sets her staff carefully against her chair, consciously relaxes her shoulders. In her imagination, Magnus's hand rests firmly on her shoulder, Merle's a reassuring presence at her hip. The memory of Lup's voice whispers in her mind. You got this, Luce.
"If that's decided, let's get you three up to speed."
She gestures widely to the reception room, putting a little bit of the theatrical flair she learned from Taako into the gesture.
"Welcome to the Bureau of Balance."
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pherre · 3 months
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taz balance the first actual play dnd podcast where all the player characters and their npc friends smoke weed on the regular
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natjennie · 1 year
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i love angus mcdonald and his plethora of dads (magnus, taako, kravitz, davenport, avi, pringles, garfield, leon, lucas, etc) funky gay grandpa (merle) exhausted mom (lucretia) fun gay aunts (carey and killian) and badass older sister (lup)
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