#Burzek was just so amazing too

[kim-ruzek]

Review of 10x14

I'm going to begin this with saying, before getting into the specifics, how much I loved this episode. You could tell how much effort was put into making this, and how much Marina busted her ass to provide us with such an amazing portrayal. And that's the kind of effort and energy that got us to 200 episodes and also, like all the episodes this season, the new energy and determination to tell and follow through with an amazing story that Gwen has brought back to the show. And that it truly showed and supported everything I had been saying for why I stood by their decision to make 200 about Kim (and her 200 traumas).

Now to proceed with the specifics and this is going to get long because there was SO MUCH I loved about it:

The opening scene.

This, for me, really set the whole tone for the episode. I love domestic burzek + mack and this served that up for me. I also loved it because of the formula of the show, we haven't got to see much of them settling into the house as a family, but that this showcased that, and the well oiled machine that they've clearly grown to be. It very much painted the picture of two parents and their child. I very much liked Mack watching the TV, and Kim refocusing her, that was very domestic and made everything feel really real and that this dynamic is well lived in, which it should.

Cpd episodes as a whole tend to kick of amazingly, but really for a milestone episode I always believe that it should kick off from the start, because every second you should feel gripped to the screen. And this delivered. I've got to attribute that to Marina's excellent acting, because the way she reacted and delivered that panic attack, especially with Kim being thrown into a flashback was truly phenomenal. And I loved how Adam handled it, while also handling Mack and making sure that she could see that at the very least, Adam has a handle on the situation which will make her feel more secure despite there being something wrong with her mom.

The therapy scenes.

I'm going to talk about both of them here. I loved how Marina held herself in these scenes, it felt so very believable and exactly in line with everything Kim is experiencing. I loved that Kim didn't fight back on Adam being called her partner, especially because I was concerned that we'd be still stuck on them not voicing what's between them. I mean, they still aren't, but Kim isn't actively trying to clarify he's technically not that, officially. And it very much feels like they are embracing this dynamic, and honestly they don't have to name it, at least not where they are currently.

I also loved that you could see that her walls were up, and that she is only here because of freaking out in front of Makayla and that she's not ready to accept help yet, and that they even more went up and she got on the defensive when her therapist was listing symptoms she has been experiencing. Kim's walls are so high up, and she's been going around thinking she's fine and that she's dealing with her trauma, and she doesn't want to admit just how much she's not been fine, especially when she hasn't really admitted it to herself.

I loved, loved, loved the ending therapy scene. I've already talked about how much I love that she said "not for Adam", that he's someone she wants to get help for, but it's worth resaying. That, on it's own, is more she's been admitting over the past few years, and it also gives me faith/hope in the direction the writers are taking them in. I also loved seeing her breakdown, and admit she needs help. It's long overdue and everything I've been wanting for my whole time in fandom. And I'm just really happy with this development and how realistic it was.

The manifestation of Kim's trauma/ptsd.

I've touched upon this already, but there's so much more to say. The portrayal and how they chose to show it, and Marina act it, was truly incredible. Not just the big moments, but all the small, little moments too.

I've talked about the opening scene, and her walls in therapy. Now for the train. This scene... Honestly there was so much to love about this whole episode, and the well scene was amazing, but I've got to say that scene was one of my favourite scenes ever. The way you could see Kim's trauma being triggered, how she portrayed how scared she was, that she was making herself small, and also how she struggled to keep a grip on reality to try and help the poor boy, and how she lost that grip when it was becoming more and more clear that he was heading to death -- and how it coincided with everyone leaving the train, leaving them alone, which didn't help to not play into Kim's trauma of dying alone.

I loved that her hand shook again, and then the scene when she was lying down and reliving her own trauma. It was truly amazing and great shooting work as well. All the blood, and the white shirt. I also loved how close she was to him, not just because she was helping him, but because she was clearly scared in that moment and being nearer someone else, even a dying stranger, was what her instincts did. I also really loved how in the midst of this she was trying to hard to keep her hand on his wound.

Now the well scene. First, hopefully Kim will learn to stop going into places alone without backup. Second, the shooting for this was equally wonderful. Her vision, the way she kept trying to refocus on Lucas, the way her body was pressed against the wall and the fact she was once again trapped somewhere dark. It was also the first panic episode this episode where she didn't have Adam to bring her out of it, and she had to struggle to try and regain focus into reality to help the boy. Her desperately trying to reach the team was lovely as it showed both how hard it was physically and signal wise, and also her will to survive, while also showcasing her vulnerability when she left the missed voicemail.

I also really loved the imagery of once again her determined attempts to survive, and her amazing ability to rescue herself, to put herself in a better place for help. That climbing very much parallels the journey she'll take with therapy, and also I think shows-- especially when she broke free and passed the threshold of the well-- when she got to the point where her mind was made up and that she was going to accept help. Which I think is really beautiful.

I also think it's really beautiful how she had to leave the boy behind to get a better signal, as it very much embodied the expression "put your safety mask on first", and yet again parallels the journey she'll have to take in therapy. She's been pushing herself aside for others, like Mack, but in order to keep doing that, to keep helping people, she has to lok after herself first, and trust in the help that comes from making that journey. And of course, by doing that, she got out, and Adam arrived to help the boy.

But that just because she got up that time doesn't mean she's okay, as shown by her immediately collapsing by the outside of the well.

Now to touch upon the other little ptsd effects throughout the episode. I loved how when catching the team up she got a bit distant, and in the train when the photos was taken. And I loved, like fully adored, how she was confident walking into the room until she saw herself on camera and then you could see herself retreat within herself. She almost looked ashamed, which is not uncommon, and when she answered her phone, her 'burgess' was so quiet and un-kim like and I loved that, it was so so realistic.

Kim, Adam, Burzek.

Adam throughout this was truly Kim's rock and I utterly adored it. I loved how her comforted her, grounded her. The moment in the train specifically as if was so so reminding me of their early days of comfort and how close their faces were in that casual intimacy you can only get with the love of your life in this situation. I also loved that scene after the therapy, Adam coming to pick her up and how he knew how to talk to her and what she was thinking when she looked at him and I just can see how much they've truly become partners.

The things the therapist said and how they fit how Kim's been.

I loved very much what she listed, because it fit Kim so well, and honestly really showed exactly why Kim and Adam hasn't officially gotten back together. It just really highlights that along the way it stopped being about whether he was ready, and all because of her ptsd. And I just loved that.

I also loved it because I had been getting nervous again. Mostly because it feels like Kim's episodes always includes Adam/burzek development, but Adam's this season, except 02, hasn't really. And it's made me feel a bit nervous because we aren't getting to see Kim being an important part of helping him. But by the therapist saying that, it's explaining what's going on in Kim's mind, showing that the writers are aware of that, and it makes me feel better about it. Because it's just that Kim's not in that place right now, not fully, but hopefully in the future that'll be different.

Other things I really loved about this episode:

Kim, Adam and Kevin being in a room together searching. I love my burzekwater.

The rest of the team's reaction to Kim being covered in blood. None of them, including Voight really, bought too much that Kim was "fine". And Kevin's expression when he walked up will always live in my brain rent free. That and Trudy's.

That Kim identified him through a scrap of luggage paper. I know there's other reasons to why she could've recognised it, but to me it'll be because of her past as flight attendant.

I'm sure there was over things I loved and wanted to talk about, but I've talked a lot and this has taken me, no joke, an hour to type up so I'm ending it here. Feel free to come talk to me and send me asks if you think I missed out something, or just want to talk about it/ask me questions.

It was truly an incredible episode and I feel so happy to be a part of this fandom when this is unveiling.

#ree has thoughts #chicago pd #burzek #kim burgess #adam ruzek #chicago pd spoilers #i wrote a meta post for the first time in months!!!! #this got so long so i hope y'all enjoy it #ree.meta #ree.reviews #10x14 #i feel like I've missed out things but i can't think of anything else #I'll just add to it later if i remember

[cpd-55055]

i would like to hear your honest opinion do you think that since a few seasons (seasons 8, 9 and 10 1/2) PD has become boring in terms of story and writing and in general?

Short Answer: Definitely! They have lost their creativity and intensity. In the past seasons, every episode brought us to the edge of our seats. But now, both the cases are boring, and the personal stuff is getting repetitive.

Long Answer:

You probably didn't ask for a rant, but I'm giving it to you anyways. Sorry in Advance! 😊

To be honest, S8, as a whole, wasn't that bad. The Upstead stuff was amazing. Kim's story with Makayla was really sweet and meaningful for the character. I liked Kevin's storyline at the beginning and how the Doyle shooting was wrapped up. But I didn't like how every Kevin episode was about the blue wall and his race. Vanessa's sudden disappearance is something that still bothers me, but I guess we have to blame COVID for that. The cases were interesting and intense at the same time. And although it was a character-centric format, I really think the balance between personal and case was good. And let's not forget the epic finale they had. In my opinion, the best finale PD has ever done.

For S9, you have to evaluate it as two parts, 9a, and 9b. 9a was really good. The continuation of the Roy storylines was perfect, and the end, even though it felt a little anticlimactic with North's character, was a decent wrap to the storyline. The Upstead angst was worth it. The flow was starting to become choppy, but since the content was so good, I ignored it.

9b, on the other hand, was just a disappointment. Anna was introduced in 9a, and I still don't understand why they couldn't wait till 9b. Her character was so confusing. I liked her sassiness and her boldness, but her relationship with both Voight and Jay was all over the place. I also don't understand what the whole point was of having Jay create "a deal" with Voight in 9x09 if he never actually followed through with it. I liked the whole Kim fighting for Makayla during the adoption, but everything after that felt pointless. Like they needed something to give Burzek a storyline. There was no reason to kidnap and traumatize a young girl who was already previously traumatized. Instead of showing Makayla recovering from her kidnapping, they should have taken those episodes to focus more on Kim and her trauma after losing her baby one season and then being shot and left to die the next. Don't get me started on Kevin and his "relationship" with Celeste. I actually thought Celeste and Kevin had great chemistry and potential, but they literally ruined it in the first episode they introduced Celeste. Kevin deserved better than that. Anna's storyline had way too much focus than it needed. It just dragged on for too long, and the finale was just sad. There was no intensity or drama. Compared to its previous finale, this one was boring. Still bitter that we never got Will and Hailey scenes in 9x13 and never got worried Jay in 9x22. Why spend so much money and time on an explosion if there is no drama afterward.

S10 so far... let's see. The Anna stuff of 10x01 felt weird. We never really saw Voight move on from Anna's death. It just felt incomplete. And somehow, all this mess led to Jay crossing lines and deciding to leave 3 episodes later. The biggest disappointment of this season is how Jay was written out. He deserved better than being given 3 episodes to exit. It was rushed, sudden, and truly unnecessary. I'm glad that Hailey is getting a lot of screentime, but I'm not glad that all her screentime is sad Hailey on repeat. The acting is superb, but come on, stop finding more ways to make her sad. I'm not gonna dig into Burzek's situation, and how I feel about that. All I'll say is I just hope they stay like this. Torres is an interesting character, and I like his partnership with Kevin, but I do wish that they did a Torres episode before Jay's departure. Jay was the one that brought Torres to the unit; it would have been nice to see Jay help Torres fit in and slowly shift to Torres and Kevin. And I feel like it's a season too late to bring up Kim's trauma. My guess is they're gonna use this to bring Kim and Adam together, but why didn't they do it last season. I guess the only good that that's come out of S10 so far is how quiet Voight's character is. He has truly been in the background, even during the Sean/Chief stuff.

I think the big difference for me is that during S8, I was actually interested in every character's episodes. But now, I could care less what happens to everyone else. All I care about is Hailey and hoping that there is a happy ending for Upstead.

#chicago pd #hank voight #hailey upton #jay halstead #kim burgess #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #dante torres

[cpd5777]

Why Hailey is Totally Pregnant

The foreshadowing has been so numerous and obvious. There was not even these many breadcrumbs to their first kiss. It has to mean something.

Jay and Hailey are nurturing and amazing with kids

In TV tropeland, kids are the natural next step after marriage

Upstead moves fast on everything, why would this be any different

When Hailey yawned and rubbed her eyes in that truck while doing surveillance, it was totally a tell

Maybe they both already know and have been keeping it secret and that’s why Jay’s even more panicked

The freezing river could have been but now the explosion is the perfect tropey oppty to have Hailey find out while she is in the hospital

The show has explored a lot of father/ mother/ son/ daughter cases and emotions this season both with cases and within the unit

They have worked pregnancies into other shows like SVU (but a little different since the actress was actually pregnant in most cases) and made it work well like with Rollins on SVU

Because usually each finale has a pivot point (like Hailey proposal last season) that opens up new tentacles to next season and this would definitely be a story that would do that!

How cute would they be as parents to some adorable baby

Why Hailey is Totally Not Pregnant

Because they just got married and we have not even explored how they are married. If someone had started watching the show in 9B they would not have even caught on that those two are married to each other.

Because we just went through this with Kim (albeit with tragic results), and it feels too close to that

Because we have a kid dynamic already with Makayla and parent dynamic with Burzek and this feels too close to that

They have never had a convo about kids that we have seen so this would feel like a surprise for sure

This would give us, at one point, less Hailey in the field and that feels limiting for a character that is clearly (and deservedly) a darling

While (though I love them), sometimes burzek feels like they go in circles…there is still soooo much story to explore with Jay and Hailey before bringing in the complexities of a kid dynamic-Hailey’s relationship with her father/family, Jay and his deal with Voight, their views on policing, either of them determining how they want to change or advance their careers. They could do all of this with a kid but why do both when this show hopefully will be on for 24 seasons?

Because babyproofing that apartment looks like it will be complicated😂 haha

#upstead #chicago pd #hailey upton #jay halstead #tracy spiridakos #jay x hailey #otp #jesse lee soffer #nbc chicago pd #chicagopd

[anothergolddustwoman]

Fearless (Taylor's Version) as One Chicago Ships

Howdy! Here it is lyrics or whole songs from Fearless (Taylor's Version) I think apply to One Chicago Ships. Just like for Red (Taylor's Version) I'm doing all cannon ships as they are easier for me to connect songs and lyrics to.

Note: Some sound like I'm just having a conversation with myself oops. It's also a lot of Burzek cause of the status of their relationship and the types of songs from this album. I'm sorry, I hate it too.

Fearless

Brettsey: “There’s a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there In the middle of the parking lot” You can’t tell me that Sylvie doesn't ask Matt to do this. She probably asked after they talked outside Molly’s in 10x5. 

Burzek: Verse 2. I am picturing this as Adam thinking about Kim, but definitely can be switched around.

Hawkami: “You take my hand and drag me head first, Fearless” Violet was so nervous and then Evan just reassured her we got this amazing ship out of it.

Upstead: “You pull me in and I’m a little more brave. It's the first kiss, it’s flawless, really something.” reading this really reminded me of their first kiss

Love Story

Burzek: “We were both young when I first saw you I close my eyes and the flashback stars I’m standing there.” I started crying when I realized this was them. I thought you should know.

I could have related more couples to this song but once I connected that first verse to Burzek my brain stopped functioning and I couldn't connect the song to anyone else.

Hey Stephen

Brettsey: “Boy, you might have me believing I don’t always have to be alone” “Can’t help it if I wanna kiss you in the rain” Sylvie is a hopeless romantic and wants to kiss Matt in the rain all the time and you can't change my mind.

Stellaride: “Why are people always leaving? I think you and I should stay the same” Ope little angst there, but everyone has left Kelly. BUT no worries cause, STELLARIDE IS MARRIED and they are staying the same.

Upstead: “I’ve been holding back this feeling So I’ve got some things to say to you” May I point you to the end of 8x3 where Hailey says “It’s been a long a long time since I saw you as just my partner.”

Burzek: “The way you walk, way you talk, way you say my name It’s beautiful, wonderful, don't you ever change” I read this and just thought of Adam calling Kim darling and I just know down in my heart Kim doesn't want him to stop calling her that.

Hawkami: “Come feel this magic I’ve been feeling since I met you” I’ve already determined that Sparks Fly is their song and this line is the same.

White Horse

Burzek: Unfortunately many of these angsty lyrics could relate to them being broken up and sad, AND I HATE IT.

You Belong With Me

All of the ships as they all belong together. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

Breathe

Burzek: Hello another sad breakup song I am relating to them.

Brettsey: “I see your face in my mind as I drive away ‘Cause none of us thought it was gonna end that way” Now I’m not saying they are broken up, because I don't think that has happened. I refuse to believe it until it is explicitly said. I can see this as Matt starts his trip out to Oregon from either one of them.

The Way I Loved You

Ok so hear me out. The verse where she talks about how wonderful the guy is I feel could go towards any of them. 

Also the line “You’re so in love that you act insane” could go for any of them. 

Examples: Casey jumping out of the truck for Brett. Stella staying back in multiple fires for Kelly and Kelly doing the same for Stella. Adam fighting with Kev while Kim is missing (still hate that they literally got in a fist fight during that and then just best buddies next episode and seemingly didn't talk about it). Literally everything with North and Voight in season 9 for Upstead. Evan doing everything he can think of to save Violet’s job.

The Best Day

Burzek and Makayla: They are this whole big round thing. I hear “But I know I had the best day with you today” and think of all of them together and the video of Adam dancing in the tutu. 

Jump Then Fall

BRETTSEY: I made a post one time when I was listening to the song and just knew it was them, especially in the beginning when they were happy.

Untouchable

I think of this song as just being so enamored with someone and could see this with any of them.

The Other Side Of The Door

Burzek: I can't do this anymore. This is me begging the writers to have them work their shit out and just get back together. Just honestly put us Buzek shippers out of our misery.

Today Was A Fairytale

It's just a good ole fashioned love song. What more can I say? It applies to all of them being happy and in love. 

You All Over Me

I think you all know where I’m going with this, but this time I’m giving you a lyric.

Burzek: “But no amount of freedom gets you clean I’ve still got you all over me” They will always be connected no matter what, especially now with Makayla.

Hawkami: Verse 2 the “And  your ‘Don’t you wish you had me?’ grin Well I did, so I smiled And I melted like a child” This is basically what happened at the Gala change my mind.

We Were Happy

Burzek: Unfortunately as the writers are cowards and won't give them back to us.

Brettsey: I know they aren't explicitly broken up, but I know they aren't happy as they want to be/could be.

That’s When

Brettsey: The way it starts out reminds me of the conversation about Matt moving to Oregon and Sylvie had to think about what she wanted to do. Then they just worked it out and everything is ok for now.

Bye Bye Baby

Refusing to say who I relate this song to, but I think you all know at this point.

Brettsey: Hear me out. Not in a broken up sense just a LDR sense.

#Taylor Swift songs as One Chicago Ships #brettsey #burzek #hawkami #stellaride #upstead #matt casey #sylvie brett #kim burgess #adam ruzek #evan hawkins #violet mikami #stella kidd #kelly severide #hailey upton #jay halstead #chicago fire #chicago pd

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

chicago pd 10x11

GUYS

IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS EPISODE

I WANNA LEARN MORE ABOUT KEVIN

WE GET TO MEET HIS DADDDD

ahhhh

im so nervous

oh yippee

it start w/ a funeral

im already invested

‘its all politics kev’

‘okay, i hear you over there being a cynic’

but is she wrong kev?

is she wrong?

no

she's not

oh no

NO

COME ON

KIM

THEY CANT LEAVE HER ALONE

and oh my god

chicago pd writers not ignoring the trauma that kim went through????

*gasp*

that's a first

‘its just too much caffeine’

‘mhm’

kev not buying her bullshit

i miss my patrol buddies

back when they were so innocent

‘i raise you, its a little bit of both’

‘mhm’

best buddies

ahhhhhh

KEV AND KIM GETTING TOGETHER AND SHARING THEIR FAMILY

I LOVE ITTTT

I WANNA SEE IT SO BADLY

ohhhh

this is his father isn’t it????

ITS HIS FATHER

OH MY GOD

I KNEW ITTTTT

I FUCKIN KNEW IT

aw no

im not prepared for this

aw kim looking out for kev and kev looking out for him

i love it so much

oh my god what the fuck

THAT CAR CAME OUT OF NO WHERE

OF COURSE IT STARTS SHOOTING

OF COURSE

my god

bro

come on

kev’s vest isn't even on properly

I DONT WANNA THEM TO GET HURT CUZ THEY DIDNT PUT ON THEIR VESTS PROPERLY

kev looking for his dad

im not prepared for this angst

please tell me he doesn't do something stupid and delete the photo

kev is a good cop

oh noooo

hes close to crying

noooooooo

my baby

my poor baby

‘for good behavior’

im excited to find out why that's such a surprise

kev doing his job like a good cop

we love to see it

oh no kev

what're you gonna do now???

IS HE GONNA TELL VOIGHT

ohhhh that poor boy

this poor child

i feel so bad for this kid

oh kim letting kev take the lead

we love to see it

KEVINS SO SWEET

hes so understanding

and i love him

so so so so so much

hes amazing

chicago pd please give kevin a good storyline

please give him a love interest that deserves him

please let him be happy

please

oh this big guy is gonna be kevin’s father i can feel it

oh nvm

torresssss

my bby

adammmmmm

my loveeeeeee

haILEY

SHES SO PRETTYYYYYYYY

im not okay

im not

BURZEK

my babies

please let them be okay this season

ohhhhh

this is gonna be an interesting conversation

kevin and adam and kim are besties

and i want them to spend more time together

‘i'll let you know, promise’

‘oookay?’

he says very confusedly but lets her go anyway

kim looKS SO FUCKIN GOOD

oh we love to see the patrol babies looking out for each other

voight and atwater

the father-son duo that we love

see, this is why i love kevin

hes a sweetheart who's doing his best

he recognizes when to lie and when to tell the truth

he knows the value of his job and doesn't want to unnecessarily endanger that just bcuz he doesn't like the truth of whatever’s happening

he has strict morals that he follows and he acknowledges that he makes mistakes and knows that he can improve

he also

doeSNT FUCKIN KEEP SECRETS FROM VOIGHT

FUCKIN EVERYBODY ELSE

FROM ANTONIO TO JAY TO HAILEY TO KIM TO VANESSA TO ADAM TO ERIN TO AL

E V E R Y O N E

HAS KEPT SOMETHING FROM VOIGHT

EVEN TORRES HAS

THE WHOLE THING WITH DETECTIVE DICK LAST EPISODE????

YEAH HE KEPT THAT FROM VOIGHT

KEVIN IS THE ONLY ONE

WHO

HASNT

LIED

TO

VOIGHT

he deserves so much better

and ik for a FACT

that chicago pd writers are going to ruin his character

i fuckin know it

okay

back to me being dramatic about the show

now

voight is asking questions about kevin’s father and im interested

poor kevin

he deserves so much better

voight looking out for him is so sweet

‘ill tell ‘em’

is amazing

bcuz the team is his family

the family that he deserves

and the family that loves him

god im so nervous for this part

oH MY GOD

THEY HAVENT SAID ANYTHING

BUT IM ALREADY CRYING

ohhhhhh

im so scared for how this is gonna go

this conversation is unsettling to me

‘i know that's not the truth’

come on man

tell himmm

TELL HIM THE TRUTH

poor kevin

they keep hurting him

and me

i can't

kevin can never get a break can he?

thank you kevin’s father

oH SO NOW YOU WANNA ASK ABOUT JORDAN AND VANESSA???

NOW YOU WANNA ASK

oh mY GOD

laroyce hawkins is an amazing actor

that break in his voice kills me

oooo

this'll be fun

ITS ONLY FIFTEEN MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE AND SO MUCH HAS HAPPENED

oH MY GOD

THATS SO FUCKIN VIOLENT

HOLY SHIT

oh nooooo

thERES A BABY

THAT POOR CHILD

AWWWWW

I WANNA CRY WITH THIS KID

THIS POOR POOR BABY

aw kevin covering the child of this baby

im soft

'emphatic no’

we love to hear it

kevin

my poor sweet child

kim doing her best to distract kevin and then giving up and just straight up asked him

we love it

i wanna see kim and kev and adam go out for drinks and talk about the terrible shit that's gone on in their lives and i want kevin to be okay

i need it actually

god

im dying here

chicago pd writers need to stop hurting me

seriously

im too sensitive for this

oh no

his dad’s here isn't he

oh fuck you kevin’s dad

fuck you

how dare you

kevin still doing his job

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND

kevinnnnnnn

im so sorry my love

kevin my dearest child

i must hold and comfort

i must

goddamnit kevin’s dad

you better be telling the truth

why do i feel like hes hiding something

GODDAMMIT KEVIN’S DAD

YOU WERENT EVEN THERE FOR MAJORITY OF HIS LIFE

YOU DID SOMETHING STUPID

AND THEN HIS MOM DIED

AND HE HAD TO RAISE VANESSA AND JORDAN

AND YOU WANNA PLAY THE GUILT CARD????

NAH MAN 

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF

‘do i look angry right now? i don't got time for that.’

mY POOR CHILD

stop this hurt

stop it

hes juST

nO

I HATE THIS

SO MUCH

poOR KEVIN

adam and kevin

my loves

they are brothers

kevin

please

for the love of god

TALK TO ADAM

kev

the fuck are you doing

kevin

please

ik hes doing his job

but like

I DONT WANT HIM TO GET HURT

voight looking out for kev

again

I love it

THE USAGE OF HIS FIRST NAME

GODDAMMIT

torres

my boy

kev and dante

i love it

dante reassuring kevins father

idk how to feel about that

TORRES IS STEPPING UP

MY BOY

this meet is scaring me

oh wait

kevin’s father is telling the truth

oh my god

he was telling the truth

waIT

HOLD ON

OH MY GOD

SO HE WAS A GOOD FATHER??????

this meet isn't gonna end well

danteeee

ma boi

i love you

god 

i love him so much

hes great

ilovehim

now i feel bad for kevin’s father

im not okay

aw my poor kevin

my poor child

my poor poor child

‘hm’

‘hm’

we love the communication guys

adam and kim

looking out for their brother

i want a heart to heart with them

but i also don't trust kevin’s dad

im conflicted

WHY WONT THEY MAKE KEVIN HAPPY

WHY

oh comE ON

thEY WERE STARTING TO TALK IT OUT

GODDAMMIT

STOP

I DONT LIKE THIS

*gasp*

waIT

IS KEVIN’S DAD GONNA DIE?????

I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE

I DONT LIKE HIME

BUT I DONT WANT HIM TO DIE

i dont like how this is playing out

kevin’s dad, tf are you doing man

torres

be smart

oh good god

im too scared to watch this

‘i get the whole story playboy’

bitch i will smack you

upton and ruzek in sync

thEY BOTH GOT OFF THE BENCH AT THE SAME TIME AND IN THE SAME WAY

I CANT BE THE ONLY ONE WHO SAW THAT

bruh what is this nonsense

whats happening

im noT READY

god

kevin’s dad is gonna die

i can feel it in my bones

they won't let kev be happy

they never will

goDDAMMIT

IM NOT PREPARED FOR THIS

thiS IS SO INTENSE

AUGEVPIWE

IM NOT READY

trudyyyyy

my mother who raised me

i need more of her

ooooooo

ITS SO INTERESTING

come on

please don't kill kevin’s father

kevin

please tell me that youre thinking clearly

kim’s face just reads ‘somebody fucked with my best friend and they’re gonna die today’

and we love her for it

where the hell is kevin’s father

where is he

whERE

W H E R E

oh thank god

hes there

hes not dead (yet)

can't wait to see how this goes

‘i aint never seen him before in my life’

adorable

so believable

kevin’s dad

please

be reasonable

god

i can't handle this angst

I cannot

im not strong enough

nowhere near strong enough

god

please

this is K I L L I N G  M E

kevin

please

im crying

im sobbing actually

my poor child

finally admitting his feelings

my poor baby

please

solve this

its too much

kevin’s dad please

im begging you

OH MY GOD

STOP IT

HIS VOICE IS CRACKING

AND IM BREAKING

I NEED HIM TO BE OKAY

oh shit

this is

stop

stop

stop

stop

stop

stop

stop

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

no

COME ON

THIS IS SO MUCH HURT

THE LOOK IN KEVINS EYES

THERE ARE TEARS

AND IM FULLY SOBBING

OH MY GOD

COM E O N

his voice

stOP

PLEASE

thiS IS NO LONGER A JOKE

IM FUCKIN SOBBING

PLEASE JUST GIVE KEVIN A LOVING FATHER

HE DESERVES IT

LAROYCE HAWKINS IS AN AMAZING FUCKIN ACTOR

AND HIS PERFORMANCE IS MAKING ME CRY

P L E A S E

SIR

kevin’s dad im so sorry i ever doubted you

please hug

please

cOME ON

NO

‘it was too late, son’

im numb

i. feel. nothing. 

THEY DIDNT EVEN HUG

GODDAMMIT

stop

PLEASE

THIS POOR CHILD

THIS POOR MAN

HE WAS FORCED TO GROW UP TO RAISE HIS SIBILINGS

AND HE LOST HIS FATHER

AND HIS MOTHER

AND HE HAD TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING

AND HES STILL NOT HAPPY?????

CHICAGO PD WRITERS

DO YOU ENJOY MY PAIN??????

ITS NOT FUCKIN FUNNY MAN

#*kissy kissy* watches chicago pd #chicago pd 10x11 #kevin atwter #chicago pd writers are the devil #kim burgess #hailey upton #dante torres #adam ruzek #hank voight

[piscesgirl87]

“Also, please stop talking shit about any of them. They are all amazing. They are all beautiful. They are all friends”

no they are not all friends. paddy and marina are not friends. they are co workers. they only pretend to be best friends to sell burzek. if they are friends then how come he always commenting on everyones from pd cast posts but hers? why he not comment on her posts since 2021? he commented on all of tracy’s posts. he has gone on vacation with jesse, tracy, laroyce but never marina. why not? if they are such good friends? best friends? why do you believe they are friends? just because they said so? yes because people especially actors and celebrities never lie right 🤣 especially not from promotion 🤣 grow the fuck up and open your fucking eyes! stop believing everything people tell you! you are in your 30s! way too old to be this fucking gullible! anyways its pointless to tell you all all this. i will be posting all this on instagram, facebook soon either when filming starts or when paddy is active on instagram again or on paddy’s birthday. i will tag him, his family, friends, the cast, crew, reem’s family, friends. i will continue doing this until paddy changes back to how he was before. also he needs to stay the fuck away from tracy because it is disrespectful to jesse and us jesse fans dont tolerate that!

You are crazy

Get a life and leave the cast alone

[justruntothemusic]

Hope this weeks shows bring the distraction I need. Honesty I was/am never suprised that One Chicago Universe has been my area of comfort over these last 7 months of… hell (honesty I don’t know what to call it). It was 3 years ago too. When my mom got suck and then a pandemic started… ugh

Today went great though - at least in doctor, nurse and everyone else on my medical teams words. My dumbass brain though - can’t accept that and just wants me to be upset for so e damn reason. My sister says its a trauma response - who knows. I should be yelling to the world and my friends o social media linked to my real name. But I can’t seem to do it - I’ve cried off an on for the past 8 or so hours i stead.

So now I’m rambling on this site and this blog that I really use to just support the amazing community content creators that have brought joy to my life when I’ve needed it most. I’m waiting for my shows tonight and the live-bloggers to help me forget again.

Tomorrow’s a new day - maybe then my brain will allow me to relish in what I’ve gotten myself through. Who knows…🤷‍♀️ (if not I’ll just watch Stellaride/Burzek best eps as self prescribed doses of happiness!)

Full disclosure my social worker said I should “journal” my feelings and try to get them “out”. So here I am

#it me #health stuff #tw: health #tw: cancer

[youngeditor1999]

HOW WE DOIN’ CHICAGO PD FANDOM?!

Holy fuxking shit I cannnot believe that we just got to witness all of the greatness that epidoe had to offer!!! 

I truly can’t even find the words right now ro full describe all of the feelings that are running through me. 

(Will update at a later time though!)

#Upstead #Upstead is CANON #Burzek was just so amazing too #Like I love all of the love this episode gave us #God Bless #Hailey Upton #Jay Halstead #Adam Ruzek #Kim Burgess #THE FACT THAT HAILEY SAID ALL OF THAT THOUGH #AND DIDN'T TAKE THE JOB #I'M SURE HE WAS SCARED THAT SHE WOULD THO AND LEAVE HIM JSUT LIKE ERIN DID #Yes I'm still salty with Linstead's shitty ending 4 years later lol #But am SO FUCKIN' HERE FOR THAT KISS #AND THEM FINALLY BEING OFFICALLY CANON #Like fuck #I just love all of them so much #Chicago P.D. #Chicago P.D. fandom #Upstead Kiss #Upstead Forever #Burzek Forever #all the god damn tage #THIS. FUCKING. EPISODE. #Take my whole heart Chicago PD its ok I didn't really need it anyway #love #Fandom Life #Freaking the fuck out

[sylvies-chen]

I think Hailey/Upstead and Kim/Burzek fan reaction on next week episode is justified. I think next week episode is focusing on Hailey ptsd is because the case reminded what happen during 8x16. I think Kim would be the focus when she find out about Roy and how she react to it and how she deal with it. Both Hailey and Kim is traumatized with what happen and I want to believe that the writer would show that in the future bcuz right now PD would focus on one member for each episode. So, I think we should wait before getting mad that PD is focusimg on Hailey ptsd rather than Kim ptsd. I realllllly hope they would show how both women deal with the ptsd.

Also, is it just me that think only Jay would find out about Roy? I don't think Adam would kept that secret from Kim bcuz he want Kim to feel safe?

This is me being optimistic with the PD writer and I may be wrong about it.

Yes, I think both sides are valid! That being said, the way the writers are going about this is not making me super happy— not just about Kim but about Hailey too. I know we had 9x02 touching on Kim’s rocky recovery journey but if they expect us to accept that as the extent of her healing, they’re going to have to expect us to be disappointed. They already do a pretty abysmal job at touching on ALL of the characters in general and their trauma but that would be a whole other level of unsatisfactory. Episode 2 SHOULD BE just the tip of the iceberg. I’m pretty certain they’ll touch on the PTSD of both women but I have a feeling they’ll dive more on Hailey’s than they will Kim’s and that’s going to be disappointing. If they had a better balance between characters and case then it’d be easier but they don’t and it’s unfortunately not going to get fixed any time soon. That being said, Marina and Tracy have hinted a lot at the dynamic between the two women being explored so I’m trying to remain optimistic that they’ll address each woman’s journey— particularly Kim’s— through that relationship and through each other.

You’re right though, Adam would absolutely NEVER keep that kind of thing from Kim. He loves her too much to lie. If he finds out, she finds out. It’s as simple as that! So next week I think we can expect Jay to find out the truth and then the tension it could cause between Upstead would lead everyone else to catch on and figure out what happened.

Also, I may or may not be trying to work on a fic about Kim’s reaction because there’s just so much nuance there that would be amazing to get to write. Now if only I had the time and way fewer WIPs 😂

#abby.answers #hailey upton #kim burgess #chicago pd #one chicago spoilers

[thebookreader12345]

750 Followers Celebration - Q&A

Thank you so much for supporting me through this journey! You guys don't know how much this means to me. Every single one of you is amazing.

Below the cut are my answers to the questions that you all submitted.

Q: Do you think Jay is going to become Sergeant this season? A: There has been a lot of debate over this question because of the past few seasons and all of the "Easter eggs", like the sergeant exam poster hanging in the background of the show. In my opinion, I do not believe Jay will become Sergeant. Yet. I think it won't be until the beginning of next season because, if this is a possible storyline, I would expect that the producers and writers would make the finale of season 9 about Voight stepping down/getting promoted, etc.

Q: Did Chicago Justice deserve more episodes? A: I'm sort of split with this question. I loved the fact that there was a big episode involving Kevin, and they always included people from Med, Fire, and PD in some of the episodes. However, the whole plot of the episodes was kind of slow because it wasn't like they were police officers and could go out and chase suspects and arrest people and what not. Their job was just to gather the evidence and then present it in court. I think for many, the show fell flat because there wasn't much action, and part of me does agree with that, but the whole idea of the show itself was kind of cool.

Q: What would make you stop watching each Chicago show? A: This is a tough question because I've only ever dropped one show that I can think of, and it was only because the plotline got really dumb. Maybe if some major characters died in each show I'd stop watching it? But then again, I love the One Chicago universe so much that I don't think even that would stop me from watching. So yeah. I really don't know.

Q: Do you believe in magic? A: As much as I would love for magic to be real, I don't believe it is. But I feel like everyone thinks that way. Cause lets be honest, Harry Potter and Disney make magic look so cool. However, we all know deep down somewhere that it's almost impossible for certain things to be real, and magic just so happens to be one of them.

Q: Are you superstitious? A: I'm not the most superstitious person out there, but I do somewhat follow a few superstitions. Whenever I find a penny on the ground with heads facing up, I pick it up because I believe I'll get good luck. Doing the whole "fingers crossed" thing is something I do a lot. I believe you shouldn't open an umbrella in the house or else you'll receive bad luck. Broken mirrors are bad omens. Those are the top 4 I believe in, but other than that, I'm not really too superstitious.

Q: Is your perception of yourself similar or the same to how others perceive you? A: I mean, I would hope so. I appreciate my level of smarts, and whenever my friends acknowledge them or compliment me on them it makes my day. However, with that, people think that I'm always only doing things to boost my intelligence. For example, I love to read. So whenever I say that I didn't do much over the weekend, people always assume that I read a bunch, when I really didn't. Or that I always study for tests or do homework like a week before it's do. That is not the case. But for the most part, I believe my perception of myself is the same as how other people perceive me.

Q: Who is your favorite couple on each One Chicago show? A: Okay, so for Med, there aren't really any couples at the moment besides Maggie and Ben, whom I love but they aren't my favorite, so I'm gonna pick a past couple. When I first started Med, Manstead was my prime ship, so I'll choose them. Will had been pining after Natalie for so long so I was glad when they finally got together. For Fire, it's gotta be Kelly and Stella. They were literally made for each other, and they support each other with everything. Also, they are so cute together and all of Firehouse 51 ships them as well! And for PD, while I do love Burzek, Upstead is my favorite ship at the moment. I've seen the connection between Hailey and Jay since season 5. You don't understand how angry I was in season 7 when Hailey was so close to confessing her feelings. So season 8 made me very happy when Jay and Hailey finally got together.

Q: Jay and Lindsey or Jay and Hailey? A: I respect everyone's opinions on this matter, so hopefully you all respect mine. I thought that Erin was almost toxic in a way for Jay. She continuously broke his heart when all he wanted to do was help him. But what really does it for me is that she left Chicago without telling him goodbye. Hailey, on the other hand, has pushed Jay to seek out help when he needed it, like when she recommended he take seeing a therapist seriously to help with his PTSD, and she is always there for him, no matter what. That's why I believe Hailey and Jay are the better pairing.

Q: Which character death got to you the most? A: There have been too many sad deaths in the One Chicago world. But if I had to pick one, I've gotta go with Otis on Chicago Fire. Otis was always one of my favorite characters, even way back when I watched Fire with my dad when it was first coming out. He was witty and funny, and his friendship with Cruz was everything. So, when I watched the episode where he died, I was full on balling. I had to pause the episode for 10 minutes because I couldn't stop.

Q: Who is your favorite character on each show and why? A: I'm gonna do favorite male and female character because I've got too many favorites from each show. On Med, my favorites are Will and Natalie. Will has been my favorite since day one, and I like that he will go out of his way to help patients, even if it means he could get in serious trouble. Natalie, even though she's not in the show, always pushes for the best of care for her patients, and whenever she dealt with kids it was always the sweetest thing. On Fire, I like Kelly and Sylvie. Kelly is so headstrong and driven, and he will do anything to protect the other members of Squad 3. Sylvie is such a hard worker and you can tell she is passionate about her job. I feel so bad that she's had to go through so many partners. On PD I love Jay and Hailey. Jay has not always been my favorite male character. Back when I watched the show for the first time, I adored Adam. However, I love that Jay has such good morals and is always pushing to do the right thing even when Voight disagreed. Now, it took a few episodes for me to warm up to Hailey, but after seeing her be so badass, it was hard not to like her.

Q: Where do you get inspiration for your stories?/How do you get inspiration when there's not a request? A: This question is always hard to answer because I really don't know. Most of the time I'm fulfilling requests sent in by you guys and I just write what comes to the top of my mind. If there are requests that are not requested and I come up with them on my own, chances are I saw the plot somewhere else, like in a book or show or movie, and I just tweaked it a bit to fit the One Chicago universe. Either that happens, or while I'm trying to fall asleep, I make up random scenarios in my head, and if I find one that I really like, I'll make a note of it on my phone so I don't forget it, and then I'll write about it.

Q: Do you think Brett and Casey are endgame? Why or why not? A: I'm gonna go with yes on this one. Now, Brettsey is not one of my top ships in the universe. However, they are cute together, and I've been expecting them to get together for a while. The two of them, even when Gabby was around, had a great relationship and always cared for each other. Plus, Matt jumped out of a firetruck to go help Sylvie when the ambulance flipped. He was willing to risk an injury just to make sure she was okay. And now that they are officially together in Chicago Fire, you can see that they really love and care for each other.

Q: What inspired you to start writing? A: I always seem to get this question whenever I do a q&a, but that's okay because I don't mind talking about it. I first got into stuff like this as a reader. Basically, I went on to Wattpad and Tumblr to read other people's stories. I had no intention of creating my own. And then, one day, I started imagining myself in some of the fandoms I was apart of, and I thought, "If I'm imagining myself in these fandoms, chances are others are too," and I began creating stories that followed the plots of movies and shows exactly, just adding Y/n in it. However, that got tiring after a while because I wasn't able to have much freedom because I was following a set script, and that's when I remembered I had a Tumblr account I never used. So, I revamped my account just a little bit and started posting story ideas I had that I couldn't post on Wattpad because either they didn't fit with the stories or they were for someone I didn't write for on Wattpad. And now, here we are. For anyone interested, I've posted this before but I'll post it again, my Wattpad handle is @Writer_Reader05.

Q: Jay or Will Halstead? A: I'm sorry, but I really can't choose between the two of them. I love them both so much. Will and Jay are two of my favorite characters in the whole One Chicago universe. While they do have some qualities that I'm not the fondest of, at the end of the day, I adore the both of them, and I could never choose between them.

Q: Who would you rather date: Jay or Will Halstead? A: Why do you guys do this to me? I love them both so much! But, if I have to choose, I'm gonna pick Jay. The only reason is because I like the characters in PD more than Med, so if I'm dating Jay, chances are I'm friends with Hailey and Adam and all of Intelligence. Will is just as awesome as Jay though and I feel like sometimes people sleep on that.

Q: Which of the requested fics you’ve written is your favorite? A: I think I'm gonna have to go with a Jay Halstead x reader I wrote titled Two Becomes Three. Something about the plot just makes me smile. And to think of Jay being a father......So yeah, while I have so many amazing requested fics thanks to you all, that one has to be one of my favorites.

Q: What’s your favorite series you’ve written so far? A: I love all of the series I have written. Something about creating a whole story that's more than just one part is always fun. If I have to pick one series, I'm gonna pick On the Loose. It was the first series I wrote on Tumblr and the plot of it is something I'm really proud of. However, From the Big Apple to the Windy City, Identity Loss, and Difference of Opinion are all amazing! The first two are finished series and the last one still has a few chapters left to go. Go check them out if you haven't already.

Q: What's your favorite imagine you've come up with and why? A: I don't have a lot of fics that are solely my ideas. Most of my stories have plots that were sent in by you all. However, if I had to pick a favorite out of my stories, it'd be Back Home for Christmas, a Halstead Sister fic I released when I was somewhat new to the platform. Something about writing sibling fics always makes me happy because I get to express the familial side to the characters.

Q: If you had to be roommates with 5 of your mutuals/fellow writers, who would you pick and why? A: I love all of my fellow writers/mutuals so much! I know how much work we put into whatever we post, and most of us are very active on this site. As for who I would pick to be my roommates, I'd choose @hereforhalstead @fighterkimburgess @halsteadlover @resanoona @sylviebrettsey because I feel like we'd all have great conversations, mainly over One Chicago. And every Wednesday night we'd all watch the episodes live together and experience them as a group and then freak out over what happened..........Now watch me fantasize about this all day.

Q: Do you listen to music when you write? A: It depends. On some days when I plan that I'm gonna write, then yes, I do put on some music. When there are days that I have a few minutes to spare, I don't put on music just because I'm only writing for a few minutes and I don't want to waste time. But mostly when I'm writing I do play music in the background.

Q: Do you know how your fics/stories end before you finish writing it? A: This is a really interesting question. The answer is no, I do not know how I'm gonna end a fic before I finish writing it. The only story I had a set ending for was my series On the Loose, but that one wasn't even fully planned out until I got a chapter or two in. Obviously, if I get a request that includes a set ending, like two characters get together or something like that, then I know what the ending will be. Otherwise, I have no clue.

Q: Have you ever met someone who had a very similar personality to your own? Did you get along? A: You know, I can't say that I have. Everyone is different in their own way, and that's what makes us all unique. I would imagine if I did meet someone with a similar personality we'd get along because we'd basically be a carbon copy of each other, but who knows. Maybe our similar personalities would cause us to clash.

Q: Do you hold yourself to higher standards than you hold others? A: Not really. I know myself more than anyone else so I know what my limits are and when I've reached them. With people, on the other hand, I always feel like they can be doing more with themselves and their lives. So I do not hold myself to higher standards than others.

Thank you to all of you who sent in questions! I never thought I'd reach 750 followers on this platform. The only reason I have is all thanks to you wonderful people out there!

@winterberryfox @maximeevansblog @scarletsoldierrr @i-like-sparkly-things @dreamingmanip @soph0864 @ryliegh8 @lorenakaspersen @wanniiieeee @nevertoofarfromivar @securityfriendly-jay @pinkbay-love @stephie123

#one chicago #q&a time #q&a session #question and answer #750 followers

[fighterkimburgess]

Fun Meta Asks For Writers

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, 11, 15, 18, 19, 20, 22 and 23

Oh this is gonna be long!

1. Tell us about your current project(s) – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

I’m gonna divide this into the current multichapters I’m actively working on, as well as the oneshot that has invaded my brain (sorry Morgan!)

This Wasn’t Supposed To Happen - my Sylveride fic, where they’re raising Matt and Gabby’s son after their unfortunate deaths. I’m currently working on chapter 16, and we’re in angst central. It’s a lot of fun to write the angst. I love showing this what if, and getting to explore Sylvie dealing with this huge responsibility.

The Three Of Us - Burzek fluff. I’ve the epilogue half written, and if you think there was fluff this chapter just WAIT. It’s a fluff bomb.

Class of 2006 - this is a prequel to Thank God For Hometowns. It’s the high school years of Kim, Erin, Sarah, Jay, Kevin, and Kelly going from starting high school in 2002 and graduating in 2006. It starts with Kim and Erin saving Sarah from high school bullies their first day, and ends with Kim and Jay saying goodbye as he leaves for boot camp and she prepares to start college. It’s amazing finally getting these headcanons I’ve had for ages down on paper. I’m about halfway through chapter one.

Thank God For Hometowns - After Kim goes through a tragedy that means she’s lost almost everything she moved back to her hometown and in with her Aunt Trudy. When Jay’s too late to save his wife and the army tries covering it up he’s forced to retire with his best friend Mouse, and they move home. What happens? I’ve the fic fully plotted, and ridiculous parts of chapters written. There’s so much love and healing and I adore it. It’s the best idea I’ve ever had and I cant even apologise for that.

And on the oneshot front, I’m working on one called Sacred Child. Kim grew up in a cult, and she escaped the day she turned 18, leaving her best friend and the boy she was supposed to marry that day behind. When child abuse is reported from the cult - and Kim recognises the voice as Adam - she has to fight her demons to go undercover to save girls from going through what nearly happened to her. Even her own sisters.

2. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project.

There’s three big scenes in Thank God For Hometowns. The first is when Voight asks Kim to take over as Chief of Police in Appleton. The second is when Jay calls Kim out to a car crash and they discover the sole survivor is a six year old girl. And the final one is a really emotional one between Jay and Kim talking about the things they’ve recently lost in their personal lives.

3. What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Oh god so many!!!! The biggest one is I’ve always had an idea of a fic with Kim and Trudy after the miscarriage. The way she was with Kim after the engagement ended? I think they definitely had a long conversation, and I’d love to write it. But I’m pretty sure it’s going to kill me to write.

4. Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

The Sad Solo Adam Smut (this is completely explicit but I ADORE this paragraph so much.) from Fearless chapter 3.

Instead his tv was off as he undressed, his cock rising at the memory of the sex he could have had that night. He lay back, fisting himself slowly, images in his mind blurring together. Emma’s face morphed into Kim’s, and then he was lost in memories of their last night together, the night they’d made their child. He moved faster and faster, remembering the feel of her around him, her breathy moans and sighs as she bounced on him. Adam’s release hit him like a freight train, spurting onto his stomach and chest as he breathed out Kim’s name like a prayer. He got up and cleaned himself up, before lying back in his lonely bed and falling asleep to dreams of holding her.

8. Is what you like to write the same as what you like to read?

Definitely. I love crackships taken seriously (I’m reading one fic that look I will take how much I love this ship TO MY GRAVE), I love angst, I love found family. It’s a thing.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

The way they write inner thoughts and surroundings. In particular @kim-ruzek’s ability to do inner monologues and @sylvies-chen’s ability to build a scene. I wish I could do that so well.

15. Which is harder: titles or summaries (or tags)?

Summaries. Titles I can usually get from song lyrics, but summaries are painful. I tend to do the good old fashioned three paragraph format for tradpub inquiry letters.

18. Do any of your stories have alternative versions? (plotlines that you abandoned, AUs of your own work, different characterisations?) Tell us about them.

So many. So, so many. I’m just gonna go with unintentional for this not even sorry.

Nadia was almost a boy.

Kim was going to transfer out of Intelligence when Jay was undercover instead of revealing the pregnancy. I had it plotted that she changed her number and moved before he got back and just ghosted him, and even wrote about 2,000 words of it.

It was originally supposed to be a joke that Will was Kim’s babydaddy because she wouldn’t reveal who he was.

Al wasn’t going to come back

Kim almost accepted Adam’s proposal

Originally Jay found out he was a dad because Kim got into a car crash and was unconscious. Which tells you how long I was plotting this fic for because it was before the Walton storyline even happened.

19. Is there something you always find yourself repeating in your writing? (favourite verb, something you describe ‘too often’, trope you can’t get enough of?)

TOO MANY COMMAS. I need to get better at not using them.

20. Tell us the meta about your writing that you really want to ramble to people about (symbolism you’ve included, character or relationship development that you love, hidden references, callbacks or clues for future scenes?)

I always try to put in foreshadowing. I’m not always great at doing it cleverly but in my multichapters there’s always something.

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Yup! Mostly because there’s never enough Burzek fic around. There’s a lot I want to change, and I want to completely rewrite fearless, but overall I’m still so proud.

23. What’s the story idea you’ve had in your head for the longest?

Prey. I came up with that…god? Maybe back in July? It’s been on the long finger for forever but I love it anyway and it’s getting worked on slowly.

#cíara answers

[kim-ruzek]

Do you think they will get Hailey and Jay back together now that Tracy is leaving?

What are your wishes or hopes for Adam, Kim, Kevin and Makayla in the upcoming season?

I hope so. I do think they will, especially as the only reason they had upstead go through the uncertainty of the relationship last season was to give Hailey more room in her future storylines but with her leaving, that's no longer a consideration.

I suppose it always goes down to how they decide to have her exit, but I can't see them going for an unhappy exit, especially when JLS would definitely be willing to come back for a cameo.

Now! For what my wishes are:

I need to first mention that my wish for my burzekwater is that they get their detective badges Especially now we'll be losing Hailey.

For Burzek just in general first: I want that hospital scene, I want Kim mother henning Adam because she is not doing well at all being on this side of things. I want an ily - a true parallel to Kim's first shooting, with also a cute scene with Mack to parallel her second shooting. I want them to continue to be the amazing couple they are and give us those small domestic moments so i can squeal over them being together (although I say that like I do smile stupidly to myself whenever they interact in a very neutral way now they're together because they're fucking together!) In my possibly asking for too much dream wishes is for a new burzek engagement (with Kim instigating it in some way at least).

For Adam: I want him to formally adopt Mack too, be the legal dad in every sense of the word.

I want to see him struggle with the shooting, not only because shootings are traumatic but also because it was done by a kid - and I want to see Kim help him through this. I also want him to not shut down when dealing with the trauma. And I'd like the trauma to ebb and flow throughout the season. Possibly have Adam be a bit disillusioned to everything because he tried so hard and he couldn't save the kid.

I could see him very much becoming go to work, get what needs to be done and that's it, just following routine and go home - with home being the one place he's really thriving in, or even him questioning his place in the force. I very much wish that his main arc for this season is very much revolving around the shooting.

For Kim: I very much want to see her helping Adam through things, especially with her learned experiences. But I also don't want them to forget her own trauma, and that how almost losing the love of her life after finally letting him in would really emotionally wreck her. I think a lot of this will be mitigated by her helping him, but I still hope we see the effects.

Saying all that, I also really want one of her main arcs for this season to be professional strides for her - without her getting injured or MORE trauma dumped on her. Especially with this being Hailey's last season. I want her helping Adam to be an important arc for her as well, obviously, but her individual one I really want to see her being that awesome cop.

For Kevin: Similarly, I'd love to see the same thing in Kevin's arcs. I very much want to see more scenes with him and Torres as i dig them working together. I'd also love to see more of his father, because I think the arc of Kev rebuilding a relationship with him is such an important and interesting one.

I feel like a broken record saying this, but ROMANCE! I want to see a proper romance for him. A mature one, not build on lies or is a position of conflict in his life. Just a very nice relationship that builds up Kev, instead of causing more strife in his life.

I'd also like to see him potentially helping Adam with his trauma, especially if Adam is questioning his position in the force, I'd love to see Kev helping with that side of things.

For Mack: Just more cute family scenes. An adoption by Adam. Her being like ew at her parents kissing. Her being sweet to an injured Adam. Ending the season learning she's going to be a big sister because I'm pregnant!Kim trash.

Thank you for asking!!! This was very fun to answer. I'm half certain I've forgotten like half a dozen things because honestly my wish list is SO SO long and I've had many months of thinking and brain storming what I want, so don't be surprised if I add to this.

#ree's asks #burzek #chicago pd #kim burgess #adam ruzek #kevin atwater #makayla burgess #hailey upton #tracy spiridakos #thank you for asking!!! #seriously this was a lot of fun to answer

[adamruz]

I think the writers are reaching a fork in the road with Burzek. Kim and Adam have been tangled up with each other for almost a decade. Kim is my favorite character, but she is being written into a corner with Burzek. She needs to give a reason for her unwillingness to commit to Adam or let him go. Adam is a different person than he was when Kim broke off the engagement, and Paddy plays him so earnestly and sympathetically that Kim’s aloofness reflects badly on her in contrast.

I 100 million percent agree!!!

Right now, I get it. She just survived a traumatic event and isn't ready for a relationship. But after she recovers, they really need to give us a reason as to why. We didn't get one in season 7 or 8, so we really need one now.

I absolutely love and adore Kim, but the writers really make me dislike this aspect of her character because she just keeps pushing and pushing this amazing guy aside for no reason, except for when she needs him. Like you said, Adam has grown up (they both have), there's no Roman in the way, they both tried dating other people but that didn't work out.

Paddy plays Adam perfectly and it just keeps breaking my heart when Kim continually pushes him away. Even though it hurt, I loved seeing Adam push her away in episode 10 last season and not quickly forgiving her and letting her back in right away. But then when she needed him to be there for Makayla, he was. I really don't see Adam taking that stand though in terms of their relationship. He loves her too much to let her go and will just keep being there for her, even if it means their relationship stays in the current state. 😔

#ask #anon #burzek

[cpd5777]

OMG, your ask about the foreshadowing made me think....

Do you think they gave Jesse (and Tracy) such terrible writing in the back half of the season because they were told to from the higher ups? Was this talked about for longer than we think? Either Jesse wanted out since last season and they were pissed and took it out on Upstead... or (more likely) they knew his contract was coming up for renewal and needed to cut costs (because network TV is dying)?

I honestly do not know. To be honest I think it was a combination of factors as to why 9B was generally lacking, and I don’t mean just lacking upstead.

I think Gwen Sigan is an genius and phenomenal writer. We have her to thank for so so so many Upstead moments. But, being a showrunner is not the same as being a writer. It is also hard as a woman in a male-dominated field. My personal feeling is she wanted to please too many people. She may have been told (or been cognizant of the fact) that Voight needed more of a big storyline. Enter Ana and Escano who no one cared about and trying to humanize Voight. It was just boring and not just to upstead fans. Kevin got a great ep or two and then his story felt unfinished. Tracy got her cool ep but it was like upstead was not even married. The burzek storyline was actually too complex like did Mak need to get kidnapped and traumatized again just as a catalyst more burzek drama?

The good news is all the actors did amazing with what they were given but it just felt discombobulated. Maybe it’s because she took over half way and did not have full control? Who knows. But I do suspect pleasing too many played into it.

I work somewhat close to the industry and my brother works in the industry and on set for shows like this. The advent of streaming shows and series has absolutely impacted the industry. Linear TV is also suffering and there is near double digit inflation in media in 2023 so advertisers are feeling it. I would think even the most successful network shows are feeling cost pressures and I can’t imagine that has not impacted contract negotiations across the board. It’s a giant shift in the industry.

Who knows how long this has been in the works…

#anon asks #upstead

[ncisladaily]

I don’t like to compare ships – much less ships across different shows (and networks), because all too often that’s like comparing apples and oranges. But in the good things, sometimes those comparisons are warranted. Which is why I want to talk about why I think Chicago PD’s Upstead is on the same path as what I consider the best ship in any procedural on television today: NCIS: Los Angeles’s Densi.

Now, there are many good ships on TV, and procedurals have a lot of iconic ones. But Densi’s 12 year road from reluctant partners to two people with “a thing,” to friends, best friends, each other’s person, with the ups and downs of trying to figure out how to continue doing a job that constantly puts not just your life, but your partner’s life at risk, after you’ve realized that other person means more to you than anything, is unparalleled.

Particularly because Densi’s story doesn’t end there. Kensi and Deeks did figure it out. And it wasn’t easy, and there’s been ups and downs, and setbacks and fights. They haven’t always seen eye to eye. But they’ve been together, nonstop, since season 6 of a show that’s now going into season 13, they’ve had a relationship, they’ve gotten engaged, we got to see their wedding, and now we’re navigating the possibility of them starting a family.

And we haven’t stopped watching. If anything, I watch NCIS: Los Angeles for Densi first.

I’ve always gotten Densi vibes from Upstead, not just because of the way they relate to each other, but also because of Hailey. Jay is not at all similar to my beloved Deeks, but Hailey and Kensi are a lot alike in many ways. And though Deeks’s on the surface response to anything is a joke, his way of being there for Kensi, of putting her first, is something I’ve seen reflected in Jay Halstead.

Though, if we’re being honest, the real parallel in personalities and even in backstory is Kensi and Jay, and often Hailey and Deeks, but that’s not the point of this article, that’s a whole other spiral. Because today I want to focus on the journey two amazing female characters have taken, and the way these two very different, but equally supportive men, have helped them find the best in themselves.

As I think of these two relationships, and why I think they’re so similar, there’s on particular thing that always comes to mind. It’s a quote from Kensi, a metaphor used to describe the Densi relationship in a moment where things were somewhat on thin ice (pun intended). There was a shift for Densi not long after that, and NCIS: Los Angeles never looked back – which is what I’m hoping Chicago PD is planning to do with Upstead.

The metaphor is still important, though, because it sort of exemplifies what Deeks came to mean to Kensi, and what I believe Jay means to Hailey:

“YOUR FROZEN LAKE IS THE NAME FOR WHAT YOU WANT THE MOST IN THE WORLD, AND YOU WANT IT…YOU WANT IT SO BAD THAT YOU’LL DO ANYTHING TO GET IT. AND YOUR HEART TAKES OVER. BUT BECAUSE OF THAT…IT DESTROYS YOU IN THE END.”

It’s not an optimistic quote, because Kensi isn’t feeling optimistic in that moment. She feels like she can’t have what she wants, she can’t have Deeks and at the same time, do her job, and navigate through life when she feels like her heart is literally walking around in the form of another person, someone she can’t protect. Kensi is shutting down, in a way that’s very similar to what Hailey Upton has done in the past.

Except both Kensi and Hailey get through it. They both find a way to cross that frozen lake, the only way you can …slowly, and hang onto the thing, the person, they want. And when it comes to women like them, once they get through that, they don’t let go. Ever.

This is where Hailey’s at right now, and if you need any more proof that she’s not running away, all you need to do is look at the finale. Yes, maybe her reaction should have been to lead with the information of what happened with Voight, but when Hailey looked at Jay after a hard day, all she wanted was to hang onto him. Forever. She didn’t get scared and run away, she got scared and ran towards him. Because that’s her default now. Running towards Jay Halstead.

What this says to me is that Chicago PD might be planning to throw some more obstacles Upstead’s way, but the intention is to have them face those obstacles together. They’re past the miscommunication stage, and they’re already over letting fear control their actions. Sure, I believe Jay will be upset when he learns what happened with Hailey and Voight, but I don’t think he will truly be upset at Hailey, instead he will be upset on her behalf.

TV is all about journeys, and Upstead’s journey has reached a point where the thing that makes more sense isn’t for them to follow the Burzek path, the on/off kind of relationship. That’s also not Chicago PD’s way. They’ve always tried to maintain a clear differentiation between character and relationships. So the Upstead journey feels like it’s headed more towards what NCIS: Los Angeles did with Densi, which is make them as solid as a diamond, once they finally got together.

Which again, doesn’t mean they can’t face external issues. Doesn’t mean there will not be some internal doubts that come into play. It doesn’t even mean we can’t bring up Hailey’s past, or Jay cannot have some family issues (we know Will Halstead is good to create drama at the drop of a hat). All it means is that those issues don’t – shouldn’t separate them. Not anymore.

Instead, Upstead needs to continue on the Densi path. They already did the partners to friends to best friends to each other’s person to in a relationship part. The rest is all about respecting that characters can grow and learn and thrive as a unit. You can do that, Chicago PD. You should do that. If you need any inspiration, turn to CBS on Sundays and check out NCIS: Los Angeles. Densi is leading the way and Upstead should follow so we can have more than one couple we can point to and say yes, see …this is what we want. This is what we need.

This is why we watch.

Chicago PD will return to NBC this Fall.

NCIS: Los Angeles will return to CBS this Fall.

#ncis la #densi #chicago pd #upstead

[perpetually-sad-but-its-fine]

10x14 of chicago pd

TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD ABUSE IS A THEME THROUGHOUT THIS EPISODE BUT IT IS NOT MENTIONED THROUGHOUT THIS CRACK REVIEW. ALSO MENTIONS OF PTSD AND PANICK ATTACKS. READ ONLY IF COMFORTABLE.

aww domestic burzek

makayla!!!

aw shes so cute

FUCK NO

COME ON

im not even kidding

it hasn't even been a full minute since the episode started

and its already pain

poor kim

my poor girl

aw adam taking charge

nO STOP

IM CRYING

stop it

please

god

this is too much

oh mY GOD SHES IN THERAPY

YES

THANK YOU LORD

THANK YOU

THANK YOU

god no these flashbacks

‘ive dealt with it. ive been fine.’

that's a fuckin lie

such a fuckin lie

dont lie kim

god this is so much pain

awww

kim referring to makayla as her daughter is just amazing

i love to hear it

god this therapist is just BRICKING all of the symptoms

wow

so nice to hear

kim be honest

please

this will help you

adammmm

please i want them back together

OH GOD GUNSHOT

god my heart is racing

somethings gonna go wrong

something is so gonna go wrong

oh no

he gon die

he so gon die

lady

try to help

i fuckin knew something would happen

we can't have ONE episode

not one

OH KIM

NO

nope

he dead

great

lights out

lovely

just great

oh this lovely man.

hes great

I barely even know him

but hes great

adam

dont do something stupid

dont get hurt

please

i can't handle it

god

this guy is gonna die

before kim gets any info

and shes gonna feel guilty

he gon die

ik it

GOD NO

HER SHAKING HAND

COVERED IN BLOOD

GODDAMMIT

NO

THE GUNSHOTS

KIM

PLEASE

MY POOR GIRL

LEAVE HER ALONE DAMMIT

AND KEEP ADAM SAFE

god im too weak for this

i can't handle it

KIM

PLEASE

MY BABY

PLEASE

STOP IT

STOP

STOP

STOP

god

im dying

adammmmmmmm

save your girl

KIM

PLEASE

nooooooo

STOP

kim and adam

my babies

my loves

my BABIES

STOP IT

GOD FUCKIN DAMMIT

STOP

STOP THIS HURT

oh poor girl

my poor baby

god shes COVERED in blood

kim

please

just fuckin take care of yourself

please

dont do something stupid

TRUDYYYY

also

nobody believes you kim

nobody believes that youre okay

cuz youre not

no torres?

aw

dammit

kim why would you do this

why must you hurt yourself like this

HOW CAN YOU KEEP HURTING ME DAMMIT

chicago pd writers pay for my therapy challenge

please

yay dead body

im feeling sorry for the dead guy

oh joy

bloody clothes and the look on kim’s face

honey

why do you do this to yourself??

why

oop she found something

what is it??

ayyy the team’s here

jamie’s uncle???

bruh what???

where's the explanation

im scared

please let them be okay

‘chicago pd. get up.’

so nice of him

if someone were to wake me up in the middle of the night like that

id either slap them

or scream

lady

cmon

dont lie

kim looks close to crying

and im right along with her

ayyy minnesota

kim what did you find

oop

ineteresting

oh my god

this is so interesting

im very invested

something about the way kev says ‘no ma’am’ does something to me

THEY BOTH LOOK SO GOOD IN THEIR BLACKOUT GEAR

ayyy its the patrol buddies

kev and cruz just looking at Kim while shes moving the thing

peak comedy honestly

damn

kim’s just connecting all of the dots today

WHAT THE FUCK

oh lovely

this is fucking great

yknow what's funny to me?

in like, the first three seasons

voight didn't give a damn about whether someone asked for their lawyers or not

but season 10 voight

suddenly has a goddamn moral compass

and while its great character development

i also find it funny when he deems someone ‘immoral’

when he used to be

the fucking DEFINITION 

of immoral

moving on

hailey looks so good oh my god

oh poor jamie

burzek my loves

do they ever get their happy ending??

scary woods yay

they can't ever go investigating in a park??

or at like disneyland??

no

it has to be scary woords

but that view is actually really nice

so pretty

with the waterfalls and everything

i like it

kiM DONT DO SOMEThiNG STuPID??

DONT

I HAVE A BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS

GODDAMMIT KIM

DONT

DONT INVESTIGATE BY YOURSELF

FUCKIN

KIM COME ON

NO

DONT

god this scene is causing me so much anxiety

thiS IS SUCH A BAD IDEA

SHUT UP

CMON

NO

WHAT WAS THAT SCREAM

NO

HOLY SHIT NO

STOP WAIT

NO

THiS POOR CHILD

WAIT KIM NO

BAD MEMORIES

PLEASE DONT

DONT

DONT

NOPE

CMON

this poor kid

this poor poor kid

goD SOMEONE IS GOING TO CLOSE IT

SHIT NOOO

NO

OH MY GOD

WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

THAT WAS FUCKING TERRIFYING ARE YOU KIDDING ME

I FUCKING KNEW IT

HE CLOSED IT

GODDAMMIT

THIS POOR KID

COME ON

WHY DO YOU SCARE ME LIKE THIS

KIM

PLEASE

PLEASE

STOP HURTING ME

officer kim burgess telling the kid to breathe when she can't even breathe

stop hurting me dammit

coME ON

COME ON

PLEASE

IM IN SO MUCH PAIN

PLEASE

SOMEONE HELP HER

FUCKIN HELL

HOW CAN SHE TELL THE KID TO BREATHE

WHEN SHES NOT EVEN BREATHING PROPERLY

KIM

K I M

GOD

STOP IT

YOURE FUCKIN SCARING ME

K I M

WHY WOULD YOU CRAWL INTO THE WELL

WITHOUT BACK UP

ADAM

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU

COME AND GET YOUR WIFE

CO M E O N

PLEASE

SOMEONE

HELP THEM

kinda irrelevant

but

kim is great with kids

WHAT

IS

HAPPENING

ADAM

WHERE ARE YOU

WHAT THE FUCK IS THiS

COMEON 

KIM

PleASE

PLEASE BE OKAY

ADAM

BRO

WHAT THE FUCK

AYY

THERES TWO ROCKS GONE

COME ON

COME ON

YES

THANK FUCKIN CHRIST

THAN K YOU JESUS

OH THANK FUCKING LORD

OH NOW

NOW HE SHOWS UP

LOVELY

ADAM

WHERE THE FUCKING HELL WERE YOU MAN

KIM

MY LOVE

BREATHE

PLEASE

STOP

IM CRYING

IM NOT OKAY

oh joy

therapy??

no wait

is it?

yes

its therapy

my poor girl

please

be patient

‘not for my daughter... not for adam’

chicago pd writers

wrITE A GODDAMN HAPPY ENDING FOR THEM ALREADY

oh my god wait

pls tell me she isn't leaving the show

marina

please

i love you so much

dont leave

i really hope youre not leaving

*screams*

KIM

marina is such a good fucking actress

shes amazing

y’know, i can't actually believe that chicago pd writers are actually ACKNOWLEDGING the trauma that kim went through

i dont believe that they are actually showing the consequences of what happened to kim

why do i feel like it won't last tho?

like for a few episodes

and then

*poof*

gone

#*kissy kissy* watches chicago pd #kim burgess #adam ruzek #chicago pd 10x14 spoilers #chicago pd 10x14