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problematicpervertpod · 3 years

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recs on recs on recs

Yaoi/Manga I’m reading/have read. Please support the artists on official websites. If you have recs or want to chat about any of these get in my messages right the fuck now my dudes. Also spoilers, also this probably doesn’t make sense to anyone but me, also I think I’m funny sorry in advance.

Dangerous Convenience Store

Tags: Ongoing, self aware lead for the most part, gangs, smut, love triangle, possessive, not rapey, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, college, age gap, good art, muscular bodies, seme is adorable/romantic in sp chapters, sexual awakening, meeting the gang (in two ways!), FAINTS OF CUTENESS/HOTNESS, the memes after every chapter got me gagged, HAHE hahahahahahahahahaha, OMG DO I GET SOME CNC?! (update: short lived), we stan a vocal man (Ahjussi), thigh fucking, my mans be like my thighs hurt fuck my ass instead DECEASED, ass smacking, these memes are so good god damnit, rimming

8/10, I live for Ahjussi (Am I spelling this wrong..)

The New Employee

-love love love

Tags: ongoing, we stan supportive boyfriends, healthy relationship, boss/employee, smut, office setting, good art, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Love Shuttle

Tags: completed, ABO, enemies to lovers, possessive, coworkers, fake relationship, strong omega, the art sucks but I like the story, art gets better after the 1st season, alphas eyes change colors when happy/anxious, muscular bodies, 7/10, update 10/10 art is meh but fml this storyline is basic af in the best way and it’s the fluff/smut I need, when you’re caught by the folks *cringe*

Hold Me Tight

Tags: ongoing, boss/employee, bodyguard, gio can’t feel heat until felix comes along, uke is strong af, horny bastards, smut, possessive, tragic childhood, moving in together right away, rich seme, felix in a bunny costume though *heart eyes*, dialogue is great, rape in a technical sense but the vibe is written like both characters are all good after? Ex. hospital scene…dub con, ART IS GREAT, hand holding during sex, 10/10 will re-read, muscular bodies

Yours to Claim

Tags: ongoing, love triangle, Dom/sub dynamics, smut, main is big switch energy, reincarnation, jealousy, manipulative, possessive, self aware lead for the most part, toxic af, GREAT ART, college, rich semes, 10/10 will re-read and not even finished, SONOFABITCH that cliff hanger!! Season 3 come thruuuu (I have to wait until November? *cries* BUT MAH LOVE TRIANGLE!!, I want a THROUPLE GOD DAMN IT

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Tags: obsessed with this story, will the incense burner scenes make it?? No tags because I'll never forget this one haha wangxian 5ever, send me all fanfics/fan art you have about this story, love Dark Wangji, Jadecest, ABO/omegaverse, Bottom Wangji/Top Wei Ying, and honestly anything regarding this fandom

Bj Alex

Tags: completed, great art, 11/10 will re-read, cam boy, fanboy, seme is an asshole, uke is so sexy, jealously, rich seme, enemies to lovers kind of?, CHANWOO IS MY BOY FOR LIFE, Chanwoo MD supremacy, BDSM (like really really), fuck I love Chanwoo, college students, rich seme, emotional rollercoaster, uke soft body, mean seme, college life, that one nosy bitch ass guy trying to expose my boys needs to fuck right off, seme split/fake personality, dub con

Anti PT

Tags: ongoing, 11/10 re-readable, porn with feelings, love triangle, jealousy, attempted non-con, personal training wink wink, main love interest is actually the best, second male lead is a god damn creep, first time, smut, great art, sex addict/constantly horny uke, I WANT A HWI,

Related: https://www.anime-planet.com/manga/anti-pt/recommendations

Payback

Tags: ongoing, both are psychopaths tbh, revenge, gangs, uke sells himself to seme, violent seme, entertainment industry, brunette supremacy, what this motherfucker gonna do? hehe , great art, muscular bodies, dead dove do not eat, my mans must be GOOD looking/animal magnetism cause everyone losing their fucking minds, okay this is a comedy I’m dying, he tried to scare him with wanting to be a top but my psycho said REVERSEUNO BITCH I’M A VERSE (wait jk apparently *sigh*), anonymous masked sex (sad n’ kinky)

My Suha

Tags: ongoing, wow this gets dark, possessive af like holy shit, terrible people all around uke, rape, boss/employee, office politics/family politics, smut, characters that are punchable, dead dove do not eat, *velociraptor noises*, avoided this for a while but I’m back because nothing can be more emotionally devastating than Banana Fish, TIE HIM UP, FUCK HIS FACE ALKSJD:ASKD, FUCK SUHA UR SO HOT that dirty talk though YAS, glad I picked this back up lmao, GOD DAMN IT just when the package arrived then this red head fucker *screams*

Shame Application aka Dirty Vibration

Tags: completed, friends to lovers, model seme, cute af uke, love triangle, entertainment industry, smut, kink, all kinds of sex everywhere, realized feelings, mutual pining, jealousy, rich seme, blonde seme, big brother 1984 always watching, 10/10 would re-read, porn with plot, they were roommates!, ~straight~ seme, first times, great art, remembering some cringe but considering the story it’s par for the course

Will You Subscribe

Tags: ongoing, season 1 completed, enemies to lovers, cam boy, office politics, boss/employee, hiding a secret, public sex, stalkers/creepy men, emotionally stunted characters, mutual pining, idiots in lust, lingerie company, slut shaming, jealousy/possessiveness, season 2 bebeh, HOLDING HANDS *velociraptor noises*, LMAO okay my mans is not THAT old how tf does he not know netflix and chill, BUNNY COSTUME (quickly becoming my new fav trope in manga, A+ gang), oh we stan a good boy, wtf is wrong with wanting to do cam work, ‘I wish my marks could become permanent’ *omegaverse wink*, *works for lingerie company* *doesn’t understand where bf gets sexy costumes* like wut kind of fuckery…, cross dressing ftw, roleplay, classic BL miscommunication trope

Hyperventilation

Tags: completed, high school crush, unrequited love, mutual pining, smut, quickie (short story), class reunion, apparently furry with the extra chapter turning my man into a bunny but c'est la vie! https://myreadingmanga.info/korean-bl-animation-hyperventilation-engsub/ this is the animation of the same story, different endings but same in tone (this site is spammy AF but the English subs are so hard to find for this) 8/10

Unmei no tsugai ga omae da nante

Tags: only one bed, ABO, office setting. Coworkers, enemies to lovers, competitive, equality in the omegaverse, dubcon, real dicks and not lightsabers, fated pair, art is cute af 8/10

K’s Secret

Tags: buckle up buttercup, dead dove do not eat, angst, pining, somnophilia, dub con, non con, boss/employee, manipulative, stalking, forced relationship, tragic childhood background, weird art but gets better, uke: don’t threaten me with a good time but seriously stop threatening me, possessive & obsessive, seme is like the fucking hulk compared to uke, wow were going full psycho stalker hm?, dating a narcissist is all fun and (mind)games, con non con… ? honestly who tf knows, domestic!, OW MY HEART, the t/n WAP note sent me, ch 51 translated by gen z, do special ep= furry? Wait there’s a maid costume, bunny costume, directors friends keeping it real, rough translations 8/10

Enthusiasm

Tags: ongoing, dead dove do not eat, uke buys seme, masc boys, muscular bodies, fight club, master/slave, rich uke, revenge, real dicks not lightsabers, rough sex, cuckholding, daddy issues, suicide, wow the end of ch 5 punched a hole in my heart, penile implant life, rough translations makes the storyline wonky, nvm back to lightsabers *star wars noises*, HAD ME FEELING SOME TYPE OF WAY I CAN NOT, shibari, possessive, wait this is cute *velociraptor noises*, angst, no kithes for you “bestie”, OBSESSED, honestly choke him pupper, STAY THE NIGHT ALKSDJA:SLDKJAS:LKDJA:SLDKj, problematic but I’m riding for these two,

Ichimai Goshi Fetish

Tags: completed, short, fetishes DO start in childhood don’t they *ruminates*, author: describes ML as a beautiful 2D character meanwhile: ML IS 2D character, fellas is it gay to kiss the homies?, “real dudes don’t interest me” is a MOOD, comedy, jealousy, college setting, dialogue is A+, not lightsabers but not dicks either, first time, when you’re fucked so good you think you’ve died, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4uEq5Nx6ko, hero/villain roleplay. Fluff n smut 10/10

My Purrfect Boss

Tags: completed, tooth rotting fluff because blondie is so FUCKING cute little sensitive soul, golden retriever boyfriend, pure comedy, DECEASED, MY MAN JUST DID THE SLOW BLINK, office setting, boss/employee, ~wasted~ (red dead redemption meme), FFS SO CUTE, he put a ring on it right away beyonce would be proud af, he protecc he attack but most importantly he hit it from the back, jealousy, honeymoon phase of dating, the ex is a snake (update: oh wow literally), I’m picking up abuse/PTSD vibes based on how Kang reacts to his ex :(, classic BL miscommunication plot, immediately no meme audio (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o6XWSGfYnps) , I WILL STRAIGHT UP MURDER CHA WTF!!!!!!, gang rape, spiked with drugs that force heat, me rn:*screaming/rage*, psychotic ex/abuser, HE PROTECCC, actual relief after that scene jesus fuck, okay YES kings I see you, okay this is giving me cuteness aggression, hi yes I’d like to adopt a cat and a dog please 9/10

Following Namsoo to the Bathhouse

Tags: completed, same author as, “My Purrfect Boss”, A+ comedy once again, JUNIOR, gay awakening, “fap myself to death” DEAD, facial expressions are ridic, my minds telling me no but my body, my bodyyyy’s telling me yaaaaa, ya boy is literally losing his mind over this, actual lightsabers lmao, FLUFF, permasmile, 6969, THINKS THEY’RE GOING TO EAT RAMEN, dense gay, own your skin wtf okay hannibal calm down, everyone is officially cray, ah I also am barfy when drunk, denial really is something hm, classic BL miscommunication plot, when people pleasing too far, happy ending 🥺🥰, side story: our crazy gets his very own crazy (ashton Kutcher from spread vibes), public sex, sex sparkle 9/10

Alien in my Closet

Tags: ongoing (maybe completed but def ongoing on the site I use), not rapey at all?? You’d think it’s impossible in this medium ffs, anti pt vibes, cute art, fluff ‘n smut, red head!!, they were roomates!, sex toys, bsdm, D/s (brat)dynamic or maybe owner/pet, bondage, *tiffany hadish voice* this is noiceeee, con humiliation/degradtion, SANTA CLAUS, edging, marking, one lotus please (he’s clearly read the 4 agreements and karma sutra), con non con, exhibitionism, the wrist thing stays on people, Katoptronophilia, roleplay, is it stalking when you bring your friends?, lotus: welcome home cheater, the chin on the head thing gives me cuteness aggression, the twins are my favs, when ur crush vanilla af 😭, haesung: experiment on me daddy, no dick until halfway through/fingering supremacy, bedroom sessions has me gagged, voyeurism, wait they haven’t kissed this whole time I forgot (audio: https://www.tiktok.com/@ryley/video/6976701880277748997?lang=en), sunbae is sus, YES FINALLY A FUCKING SWITCH COUPLE AKJSDHALKSJDHASKLJDHALS KJDALKSJD (update: sort of), there’s a missed opportunity for an anal probe joke, damn it okay maybe sunbae is chill, 3 musketeers, my heart*implodes*, *velociraptor noises*, 12/10 would re-read such fluff my heart

On Doorstep

Tags: completed, age gap, reese has ptsd, jimmy going from 0 to 100, jimmy really got down on his knees at work, ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) deepest part you say, real dicks, ride him like a rodeo, quickie/short story, porn with plot

Gorani Jeon

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, no alpha though, animal hybrid, art is beautiful like it's drawn on paper not a screen, 40 inch weave yours came in a pack, historical (non-modern), lord send me a sexy man pls, the memes after each chapter are golden, taking the phrase licking wounds literally, is that an eggplant or are you just happy to see me hehe, ahhh so inhibitors do exist here, vertical 69, here lays Bau fucked to death by Ran, WHY HE TOUCHING MY MAN, these chickens are dope, stomp on his dick, that’s what I call a happy meal, fucked right out the front door I’M DEAD, mpreg, i need a tiger+mountain god spin off (whoops dad/son my bad), slice of life, cute fluff 8/10

Room to room

Tags: completed, college setting, A+ dialogue, absurd size difference, unrequited love, sexsomina, dubcon, angst, death by a thousand cuts emotionally, insecurity, body envy, pining, friends to lovers, they were roommates!, homophobia, sexual assault, PTSD, gays in denial, the tattoo 🥺 ow my heart, truly this is 90% smut, “going from unrequited love to fwbs is shittier than I expected”, dowan *bad blood by t swift* when he sees garam, ch 22garam reminds me of my ex and that’s not a compliment, I’m not gay but my boyfriend is vibes, triflers need not apply, spanking, 😭😭😭😭😭 my heart hurts, is anyone getting a bit of a puppy play vibe? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vni9ZWmDXis, handcuffs, lots of head we stan, dowan’s gotta a touch of a foot thing or maybe body worship thing, asdlfgkjs ;dlkfgjsd;flkgj;sdflkgj;sdlfgjs;d/gkdf SO CUTEEEEEEEEEEE, roleplay. They broke the bed no use of crying over spilled milk ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°), side stories delivering man in uniform and sex toys AND puppy, asdlkjaslfkasdjfl;askdfjasdf the shirt thing is so hot, watersports, I take it back this is 98% smut 9/10

Mistake Lover

Tags: completed, when ur bff is back on their BS, love triangle, coworkers, i swear all these ukes look the same to me at this point (which is very cute), GE!!!! (wangxian flashbacks), wait no smut?.... Paused

Yagi to ookami no hatsujou jijou

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, literally on my reading list because a comment said “nice cock 10/10”hahahaha, animal hybrids, scifi/aliens, me during chapter one: am I a furry? No. Am I? Relevant audio https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noJNIqvDfoo, hotties when human GOD DAMN, bi king, okay I stan this girl changing gears take your opportunities honey!, does blondie have a tinder or how is this happening? (update: called it), feminization, dubcon/noncon, marking, heats, idk about 10/10 cock but not lightsabers, translation is ruff (get it?), a yankee hahaha, literal wound licking, googles chimera, *claps* yes king selfish call his ass out, tail holding caaaayoooot, not that isn’t usually copious amounts of cum but really this is a lot 8/10

Make Me Bark

Tags: completed, $250 a month rent?? *cries in Californian*, god damn it these grey haired 2D men are really hot fml, “next months rent is a looming concern but I hope it’ll get better” followed by apartment on fire is how I feel about reality, rare characters that smile way more than they frown, sex toys, kink, puppy play, owner/pet dynamic, sugar daddy/baby, college setting, harness, muzzle, leash, tail plug, shirt thing!!, soaked briefs, playing barbie IRL, omg meet cute at the adult store, intercrural sex, possessive/jealousy, ah fuck yes I saw this panel on IG but it didn’t have the source but now hehe, whipping, choking, spanking, *bookmarks*, simp city, childhood friends, side couple cute af, yeonsoo: sorry I’m an anti romantic, size queen, mens lingerie, domestic, mutual pining, these bestie pairings are *chefs kiss*, skinny but muscular bodies/no ridiculous size differences, “does he have a big dick?” “probably” “well tell him to come” GAGGED AJKSDHALSKDJHA this dialogue pure comedy, exhibitionism, human auction, maid costume, men in heels, topping in a dress, girl at the bus stop HAHAHA, ffs this is so cute, side stories: it’s a small world afterall, dynamic role reversal, pink haired boy is guru, SCREAMING AKDJA:SLDKJA:LKDJA:LSDKJLAKDJA:LDJAL:SKDJASLKDJA:SLKDJLAKSDJLASDJ:LASJD:ALSKDJASL:DJ:ASLJDPUTARINGONIT!!!! 11/10

Gurume no fukurami

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, food fetish, feeding fetish, age gap, throuple-eqsue? There’s 3 people involved, paused ch 1 pg 30

Under the Green Light

Tags: ongoing, thank you IG for rec’ing this, brunette supremacy, neurodivergent?, lmao @hag, this statue is everything I wonder if it’s based on a real piece?, we went from talking art to being pinned to the ground REAL quick, translations rough but not as rough as my mans here, draw me like one of your french girls vibe, sass master, these dicks are ridiculously huge which is saying something for this genre, i love a verse/switch, “first time he’s asked someone to stop so his self-esteem is hurt” HAHAHAHA, stealing bae’s shirt, facials galore, car sex/public sex, jin not into praise kink clearly, sort of slut shaming jealousy, marking

Walk on Water

Tags: completed, for being about porn it’s not that smutty (i take it back), “don’t even think about running away” got me like https://giphy.com/gifs/VABbCpX94WCfS, actual dicks (lightsabers later must be the cleaners not the OG), muscular bodies, blonde seme, brunette uke, k mcqueen is everything, honestly haven’t loved a couple this much since chanwoo x MD and I LOVE THEM, jealousy, orgasm denial, the angles/frames of the art in this are insane (11/10), emotional intimacy CUTENESS HASIHDLASKDHJLAKSJDH, i wanna lick lick lick you from your head to your toes, dirty talk A+, bestie you turned out to be Judas you judgy fuck how dare you touch my man, Ryan is 50 shades of fucked up bb needs therapy, Chang and yeowoons sexual tension is *chefs kiss*, I ship it/all my ships sailing, woof non con but expected tbh, YEAH BABY YEAH *Austin powers voice*, fml I don’t want this story to end, meeting the Hets ™ would make me nervous too, spiderman kith, mirror sex sjkadfhasldjkfh, 34+35, JOI but with a partner? Not D/s, promises are made to broken hehe, that feeling when you understand the title, omg the fan art is so cool!! 15/10 would re-read seriously I can’t explain how well the artist used angles/how she portrayed the scenes was fucking MASTERFUL

Woof Wolf

Tags: that's my best friend (saweetie), red heads, werewolf au, college setting, students, shoot a shot in your mouth while I'm riding, facials, marking

Sexual Awakening of an Ex Delinquent

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, sexual coercion/non con/dub con, tiddies, bondage, nipple play, edging/orgasm denial, candy in ass wow, food kink, kink in general, rich seme working class uke, lightsabers, big dick Jesus fuck, exhibitionism, public sex, men's lingerie, Blondie is a sweet baby angel, self hatred/homophobia, sexual narrating that has me like oof 😣 that's not how this works but okay, the sweet spots thing is a great line, man is a slave to the sweets, lmao at the meme at the end of ch 9 fucking facts, kidnapping plot, rapey guys all around this story, tattoo/back story reveal has me like *nods head yes*, my throats broken has me gagged, crazy amount of sfx noises that distract from the art (I really appreciate cleaners I realize), first times, rushed ending feels, would rate 6/10 not terrible but probably won't read again.

With Your Tail Yes

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, quickie/short story, on man brunette looks EXACTLY like a different character by another artist like for real duplicate, home boy pulled Elle Wood’s Bend n Snap and we are HERE FOR IT, lingerie/cross dressing, okay compilation of short stories, great artwork but wtf these are far too short (maybe uploaded wrong..?), *immediately makes deal with the devil because yum*, ah okay previews THEN stories, human animal hybrid situation, lightsabers, fucking imagine your crush delivery the sex toy you ordered online HAHA *dies*, buys toys because men ain’t shit is a VIBE, you know he’s always wearing matching sets because he’s 100% that bitch, dub con/non con, knotting (unexpected), exhibitionism, public sex, good ol’ fashion blackmail to get your lover to stay with you trope, sexual assault/attempted rape, victim blaming, shibari, leashes, D/brat dynamic sort of, copious amounts of cum, lube? What lube?, marathon sex, first time, 75 hours?? Immediately no meme, 7/10 mostly for art/concepts but not execution

Heat and Run

Tags: ongoing, IG rec, omegaverse, friends to enemies to lovers, multiple couples as main to sides then sides to mains, my heart dropped because I thought the first sex scene was incest but then realized I’m mixing up all the characters derp, dense gays, this is america (the shooting comment WOOF reality feels bad man), blondes have more fun, real dicks, dubcon/CNC dealers choice, mutual pining, idiots in love, big alpha energy BDE, there are moments I feel Hayoung on a spiritual level and not sure that’s a compliment hahaha, orgasm denial/edging, istg if he bonded without Hayoung permission *jenna marbles BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU BETTAH NOT*, also I was hoping the idol was him but realizing it’s probs his sis, *deep sigh*, BDIRL, wow racism, oh no oh no no no no no meme audio, listen everyone needs to get into therapy to break that generational trauma is all I’m saying (not excusing abuse at all, trauma isn’t a free pass), NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY A GAME WITHOUT KNOWING THE RULES :ALKSDHJALKSDJA:SLKDJTRUE, matthew singing bo burnham: I’m problematic *background singers ‘he’s a problem!’*, i ship it yolo, JAEHO STAN (no means no!), mpreg, god damn it I am so worried about him getting roofie and the party scene hasn’t even started ABO WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TOO ME, OH THANK JAEHO, dayummmm that clapback was real fuck him UP, me clapping: MARK HIM MARK HIM, GOD DAMN IT WITH THESE ONGOING FUCKING CLIFF HANGERS FML, marked via knotting? Okay that’s new, but also like normal marking I think, fucking til bottom pees trope

Heaven Officials Blessing

Animated series season 1 complete. Live action currently filming (same director as Untamed too UGH SO HAPPY)

Tags: ongoing, same author as my fav ever MDZS, just finished season 1 animated on netflix and can no longer avoid this because I LOVE THEM, all the memes on IG make sense now, Prince voice: Dearly Beloved (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXJhDltzYVQ) we are gathered here today to dive deeper into a fandom I will never escape, ART IS AMAZING (https://tenor.com/view/incredible-talented-lady-brilliant-gaga-gif-14857187), group chats are always chaotic tbh, wait a minute meme audio: bride = bottom? How tf did I not get that the first time round *sigh* always hoping for a verse couple, the asst. Boys I ship hard, the sass, fuck this is going to just be pure angst isn’t it *straps in, has fluffy manga queued*, even if no smut 11/10 gege porn, not subtle, god FUCK this ART IS SO FUCKING GOOD THE TALENT skjas;ldkfja;, 🥺, traumatic cliff moment *mdzs flashbacks*, HC smirk is my new favorite thing, no fucking but lots of touching, size difference, horror, gore, wuxia, great side characters, my ear feels tingly too lmao, SOMEONE BETTER GET THESE MF SNAKES ON THIS MF PLANE (cliff), umbrella moments got me uwu, gimme at least didi pleaseandthankyou, FUCK I LOVE THIS ARTIST she keeping us WELL fed with these extras DAYUM, wind/earth master ship please sail, CALL ME DADDY IM DEAD, HC has LWJ energy like you are not qualified to talk to me LOL, WAIT this totally counts as there was only one bed trope, also I’m already excited about omegaverse ff (send me recs please please please)

4 week lovers

Tags: ongoing because apparently I want to torture myself, mutual pining/”unrequited love”, college life, friends to lovers, blackmail ur crush into sex trope, public sex, I was going to tag possessive body language but possessive in a general sense apparently (starting strong yessss), sure jan @unrequited love dialogue, THEY WERE ROOMMATES *cackles*, sus haha, rough translation, pure comedy, shirt thing!, casual abuse :( (back story, traumatic childhood), I’m getting TharnType vibes (but not quite…), that note is precious, cry during/after sex, great angles, dialogue A+

Burlesque Night

Tags: completed, quickie/short story, stripper/body guard, coworkers, lust at first sight, magic mike vibes, fridays = getting fucked on stage O-O, well that was traumatizing af, took a bullet, real dicks, LDR, CUTE, I’m not in love with you… sure jan, OH WOW MASTER dlksaj;alsdkja;lsdkja;sld, gay awakening/first time, the art detail is *chefs kiss*, disappointed but not surprised :( :( :(, we stan a yes and lover, shirt thing, still not sure wtf the vertical anus thing is but full circle moment haha, you know what fuck it I’d re-read this 9/10

My one and only cat

Tags: ongoing, cat hybrids, god damn it I’m totally in furrydom ffs, ah well here we go, idol hot = loneliness wahhh /s, so hot he literally transforms other beings, omg a cat cafe CUTE, fuck that cat is cute *so fluffy*, stalker status, comedy, real dicks, I think the uncle would be supportive/jealous even I hope they talk about it I’m dying to know his thoughts, big tiddies, if this ain’t the cutest shit FLUFF/SMUT, copious amounts of cum, ate it with the panties on, CAKE, xmas, his milkshakes bring all the boy(cats) to the yard, trifling bitch

Imitation Mate

Tags: completed, omegaverse, alpha x alpha. Class rivals YAS, childhood frans, enemies to lovers omg this is all the shit I want, manipulation 1000 but yolo I ship it

Mr. 100% Perfect

Tags: ongoing, so relatable, OCD?, hoarder, when I read the title I thought mental illness and I was right, masks ugh RELATABLE, getting back together w ex, woof sibling drama/manipulation, suicide attempt, omg their communication regarding the psycho is REFRESHING, OMG JEJU ISLAND I see it in every fucking kdrama ever but this is the first time I’ve seen it mentioned in a manga *hm* interesting, furry furry everywhere, eye contact, finished reading season 1 pause for an omergaverse cause, okay I’m back and season 2 starting STRONG #1 men are gross #2 mans just went right to a blowie while mf was trying to pee lmao i can NOT the germs barf, fuckboi extraordinaire stressing over a textback is *great*, that istg face is perfect, HYUNGGGG, hand on his heart OW MY HEART, vibe check LOL, here for this plot dev, END OF SEASON2 NOOOOOOOimnotready. Head bonks CUTE

The origin of species

Tags: ongoing, omegaverse, sex tape, blackmail, i already don’t like this teacher, size difference, ‘JUST DIE’ hahahahahaha, I’m in love with noona, wait Ahjussi means uncle/mister? Dangerous convenience store has a new meaning to me now, DECEASED @they won’t, copious amounts of cum, alcohol to have intimacy *sighs in early 20s*, also WTF THEY ARE FUCKING AND THERE’S NO PHERMONE STUFF! What’s the point of being ABO without smell *swaggy p meme???*, wait okay ch 11 it begins, stockholm syndrome but since childhood I’m fairly certain *looking at you teacher I don’t trust these mfs*, dubcon obviously, also the can’t be knotted thing has me *cardi b meme that’s weird that’s sus* obvs poor bb about to get preg af, five word horror story: I won’t hurt you again *why tf you lyinggggg why u always lyinggg meme*, white collar crime, what’s the point of a contract when there’s no actual choice

How to Chase an Alpha

Tags: ongoing, lowkey been avoiding this one not because I think it’ll be bad I just..idk the brain is a weird thing, page 2 and I love mains attitude fucking gagged sass me bb, starting with rough translation but it be that way sometimes, GROUNDS HIMSELF BY TOUCHING HIS BLACK CARD I CANTTT, pheromone city fuck it UP, MC is a MOOD, mutual pining, when u and bae both hire PI’s to get info on each other, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, shirt thing, fucking chuffed about the rival fucking bring it, funny art, cheated on ugh mah heart I saw it coming and it still hurt, pure comedy this airport scene is so funny to me wtf, LDR, good ol murica fuckboi, LOVE HIM RIDE FOR UR MAN/MORALS, liams a little rapey rapist hm? No one’s ever said no… well being flooded with pheromones isn’t consent my dude, istg liam = I love it when they struggle, obvs jealousy/possessive tag but such is ABO, cat suit, BUNNY suit, sexy costumes, god damn it I love them that proposal/mpreg so cute, imprinting AW, ugh baes fam is so cute I needed that bc I wanna strangle wooyoungs dad, THE SECETARY is my fucking fav never stops being A+, SEC+LIAM?? Here for it *i ship it*, FUCK SO CUTE 12/10 re-read, fluff n smut, excited for how to chase an omegaside story hyung needs love!, JINI is mood, sales king I’m dying, that collar is ~hot~ btw

Egoism

Tags: completed (because jesus I can’t with ongoing, theheartbreakTM), UPDATE FML THE HEART BREAK IS REAL also no smut, omegaverse, hey stepbro, starts with rape, possessive/jealousy (isn’t all ABO?), age difference (6years, alpha is younger *can I get hyung plz lord*), HYUNG, woof this dad SUCKS, child abuse, rape culture *sigh*, I wanna get jacked like rick and summer and beat tf out of the dad, me n my cat, TELL EM HONEY I love this MC, traitor indeed, beta x omega btw, fated pair, coercive sex, didi going to be his own demise, BREAKUP/TIME SKIP NO this is BL hell, the rona is mentioned in this, ALL I WANT IS TO HEAR YOUR STORY WAHHHHHHHHHH also YES MY SHIP IS GOING TO SAIL I CAN FEEL IT, okay honestly frustrating a bit but also liked it yah 7-8/10, won’t re-read unless I’m looking for hurt though cause the comfort is BRIEF

Yarichin bitch bu

Tags: ongoing, reading because I watched this anime after seeing it mentioned in the comment section of -im-being-harassed-by-the-sexiest-man-of-the-year, anime was 2 eps a fucking wild the way this is uploaded SUCKS, no reality porn what plot rape-y ridiculous and now I need to read the source apparently haha, I need to know much more about yuri and blue hair guy ASAP (they have the spin off*adds to list*), high school setting, smut, studentsxstudents/teachers, photography club my ass, sex toys, kinky, crossdressing, gay awakening, unrequited love, jealousy, fake relationship, two faced people, OCD, COMEDY, rich people problems, hoarder, inferiority complex, one bed, toono is a dumbass in this love triangle or denial might be a better word, they are cousins my dude stop shipping it (I say to both toono and myself LOL), I wanna see Yuri’s face laksdjf;aldskf, vibrator #18 line is fucking iconic, yaguchi is about to get real interesting (BPD?), lies/manipulation, oh toono you sweet summer child, YURI i can’t wit chu, wait did he just punch the student because he won’t kiss him or???, dubcon/noncon obvs, finally my verse couple but they’re not a couple (yuri/tamu), they all care about each other is a weird way awwww, love confessions to pet vibrator scene are ICONIC MY DUDES I CAN NOTTT, lowkey living for Yuri’s drooling at this point, Jimi gives me such bad second hand embarrassment, Yuri the switch verse bb I’ve been looking for need more!, internalized homophobia, blackmail, MIDDLE FINGER IN THE AIR YAS KING, the heartbreak of ongoing/hasn’t been updated in years

Yarichin bitch bu dj wa

Tags: not completed I think, years old though, see above you know what it is, so cute omg, FIRST KISS AW, degradation kink?, MY VERSE COUPLE I’ve finally found you, biting, choking, rough sex, sex toys, they had fun together for another two hours DECEASED

Fucked by my Best Friend

Tags: ongoing, friends to lovers, body swap, Porn what plot, cannon threesomes in past maybe??(MFF for sure but MMF??), beach life, revenge, he became a HOT woman so honestly get over it, sloppy seconds, first off you’re both sluts second lmao this is going to be wild hm?, fellas is it gay if you kiss the homies, classic did you cum guy jfc, that’s how you get preg dumbass, ah the joys of being a woman /s assault in der clrub, *DEEP SIGH* @ you almost being raped turns me on, YES TURNING BACK DYING, gender has nothing to do with this LOL but true. Also yes cannon threesomes/orgies, googles frotting, mans like narrating playtime, intecurial sex public sex, lingerie, this is the closest thing to straight manga I’ve read hahaha, THE SCIENCE OMG FUCKING RIDIC :you need a mass amount of semen within you SURE JAN, possessive. Objectification, she trying to fuck without Shion LMAO, 34+35, do you think he’s on r/nofap, dry orgasm honestly impressed with mans rn ngl, spit as lube, anal fingering, just helping the homies find their prostate, bottom shaming (disappointed but not surprised), bis/gays in denial smh, question if he has a wet dream will he turn into a woman?, shirt thing, lol at female orgasm =anal in switcharoos mind, paging doc perv, shion is enjoying dressing up hm? Same dude, biggest reality gap is believing shion got admitted to a college HAHA, bad anatomy all over the place dude, rui is a dedicated exhibitionist, HE SO TIGHT BECAUSE THERES NO LUBE team no lube over here apparently not even a courtesy spit, yandere territory sort of?, Mayu with the dick wet comment is *chefs kiss*, THE HEARTBREAK OF ONGOING WAHHH I can’t believe I read all this but I can? 8/10 problematic possessive porn

#yaoi #manga #enemies to lovers #friends to lovers #gay #lgbt #pornwhatplot #recs #book recs #manga recs #yaoi recs #ships #yandere #uke #seme

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thatsthetriick · 3 years

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Y/n looking at Jojos as competitions/rivals (hcs)

Summary: You consider the Jojos a rival, and competition when it gets to grades and all, they never did anything to you but you’re just generally annoyed at them because you think they’re better than you and you’re annoyed that they are better than you, you’re not jealous just annoyed that they exceeded you. (basically enemies to lover for short) Inspiration: Based on real life thoughts with a person honestly lmaO I really think they are a compeition(they don’t know) but in the end it’s just a friendly thing. Disclaimers: Underage smoking (Just because this action is being done here it doesn’t mean you should do it too, for both my adult and teen audiences i rlly don’t recommend this and just because I used it in this fic doesn’t mean you should do it as well) , and mentions of violence, or implied violence, drugs are also mentioned( i repeat i do not encourage these behaviours in real life) Header: Orange Other writings: Masterlist/Taglist Requests/questions: Ask/Request Box

Jojos as your Rivals

Jonathan Joestar

✧ God. To you he was really annoying, teachers praised him and he was a top student in the rankings and a teacher’s pet, you’d never see him complain, cry, or anything at all.

✧ Of course he was the class president and a student council so it annoyed you more since he was kind of like a mary sue in your eyes, the fact that he got good grades and doesn’t seem to have a hard time in the things he does really annoy you.

✧ You were in the top 3 top students except you’re in 3rd place and you could never beat Jonathan, moreover he’s also an athlete and you were bothered that girls were practically drooling to him. But despite this you’ll never do anything to seek revenge, you won’t embarrass him or frame him because you still have morals.

✧ Though you were just grumpy and passive agressive to him sometimes whenever the teacher asks him to help you, you really didn’t like receiving help from him because for you, you think that’s a sign of weakness.

✧ Of course you get parterned up with him a big project that was considered as your examination and you hated it. You treated it more of a individual work, but after knowing him a bit from that project you kinda like how he acted, polite, kind and patient.

✧ Everytime he sees you struggle and you decline for help he’ll just go behind you or besides you and either guide your hands to fix it or he’ll fix it himself and he’ll just smile afterwards, it was really cute and you’ll mentally slap yourself for liking him, were you forgetting he was rival?

✧ He’ll slowly consider you as a friend and he would really really feel guilty for assuming that you were a rude person base on you act towards him but he eventually thinks that you’re a kind person in the inside but a bit stubborn and he finds that cute.

✧ If it’s a love story you and him will secretly date and its not obvious to the world that you two are dating, you were never touchy with him in public, you two still acted the same honestly, a bit stubborness coming from you and stubborness from Jonathan because he’s really willing to help you with everything, eitherway you two only have playful fights and a few REAl arguments here an there but you two eventually make up again a few days later.

✧ If it’s a platonic relationship you two would be the bestest of friends and you two would have playful arguments and some people would literally ship you two because of your friendship.

Joseph Joestar

✧ This guy was intelligent but lazy and yet he still gets 1st place in the class as a top student with A+ grades, and you found it also annoying that he was naturally talented and effortlessly got them, you sometimes wonder if he cheats.

✧ And because you think he cheats you go out of your way to site his essays and public works to see if he uses references or anything, but no this guy is just naturally talented and you felt like he didn’t deserve especially with his laid off attitude.

✧ Now you don’t show your passive aggressive side to him because you know better not to make him think that you’re literally angry at him, for you he’s just a competition and another boss level to defeat, it’s not personal just a fun thing you do so you don’t take out your anger out on him.

✧ He is also an athlete, of course the Joestar bloodline and legacy literally revolves around the sports they take, so it was no surprise, you on the other hand is also an athlete and you would most likely take the competition seriously whenever there’s a boys vs girls basketball game, you were the MVP let’s just say, sports was like your whole life.

✧ Of course there’s an annual event that the high school hosts where as every student will be competing against each other, the remaining 4 players will be the ones set out to compete to another sports festival in a different school. They will choose 4 players per sport.

✧ Of course you chose to marathon since you were honestly swift and that was more on your main sport, running. And it was Joseph’s as well and you two had to compete with each other among other students, he’ll say something cocky to you that is enough to motivate you to defeat him.

✧ Eventually you and Joseph were one of the 4 people chosen to compete in another school, and though it took awhile for you two to agree on things you two won the tournament with teamwork and ever since then your friend consists of constant and non stop teasing and playful banters.

✧ “What do you mean? I clearly made our team win!” he’d say and you’d just roll your eyes at his cockiness. Though you’d retort with something cocky as well.

Jotaro Kujo

✧ You honestly don’t know why this guy was even a top student he often gets into fights and the teachers just shrug it off, you find it annoying he gets to answer everything before you and finish quizzes before you and you get so pissed and can’t understand why is he quick and he doesn’t seem like a type to review.

✧ He’s pissed at every fangirl he has and he is pissed at you sometimes as well because you try avoiding him, yeah he’s aware of your competitiveness and he doesn’t really care that much.

✧ But you do so you basically you’re like legit pissed at him and you think that he also doesn’t deserve his intelligence since he’s just wasting it away by smoking cigarettes at the back of the school and fighting people it was honestly annoying and you wish you had his intelligence at the same time.

✧ Unlike the others maybe in this one you’re being constantly pressured by high grades so you started smoking as well to relieve your stress, you’d somberly sulk at the back of the school as well smoking your problems away it made you feel calm for some reason. ✧ He sees you there and mumbles a “Tch” while he adjusts his cap and walk near you and light up his cigarette and doesn’t say a word, he doesn’t honestly care what you were doing, anyone was allowed to do anything they want to do so he left you there. ✧ Honestly he started getting concerned of you when you were often doing it, even he knew that too much is too much. “ That’s enough” he’ll say and take your cigarette pack away, “Touche” you’ll just roll your eyes and walk away. He’d always stop you from smoking, you were getting addicted honestly and it’s not helping since every minute you were getting stressed out. ✧ When you’re not listening to him he’ll agressively tell you to “cut it off bitch.” or something along those lines, and you didn’t really know he was a person who hid his feelings so you snapped and scolded him that you were a mess because of him and took out all of your anger and left honestly. ✧ He couldn’t care less what you said about him and tried to accompany you at the back of the school or in the rooftops everytime it’s break or the end of classes, he didn’t speak that much but he was a good listener and constantly listened to your problems, eventually this is a routine and you treasured every second of it. ✧ It became a thing that you two basically sit on the rooftop talking to each other, from then on he’d accompany you outside of school as well and you two would hangout and it would be nice quiet moments when he’s around, he’s also a very protective friendship. Josuke Higashikata ✧ This guy really doesn’t care about his grades and yet he gets high score it was also annoying that teachers adore him, and that every girl adores him as well. Unfortunately you two were partners for a spelling Bee. Only professors were allowed to choose who participates, and though Josuke might not be accurate with his english pronounciations and spellings he still had high grades and it annoyed you that he got to participate his weak subjects just because he has high grades. ✧ Honestly he’d hate it as well and would just play games all day long instead of studying or anything, and during the spelling bee he didn’t help at all and you were pissed at him. Even though you were softly and passive agressively scolding him he didn’t get mad back and just said a “Okay okay! I’m sorry.” he’ll apologize and try to study but he’ll get distracted. ✧ Teachers still continued to praise him and gave no praise to you at all even though you carried your partner to the finish line, that’s why you hated Josuke, he was loved by everyone and you never understood why, was it his personality? Smarts? What was it? ✧ From that then you’ll break into his house with no permission and catch him playing video games. You’ll scold him to study the words and act like a strict teacher towards him, he dozed off a lot and was laid back and distracted, yet he was still able to answer some of them. ✧ This is why you didn’t like him he was too laid back and didn’t seem to take things seriously, because of this you suggested a break and he went back t o playing his video games and getting frustrated, and even though you were tight while teaching him he was kind enough to still offer you to play with him. You were going to decline but you still accepted it. ✧ This is where you saw his true personality, he talked about a lot of things and you two ended up having fun as you two play, you didn’t mind this moment and you’d want it to treasure it forever honestly. You brought up your personality as well to him, you started showing your true colors and he really liked the fact that you weren’t an overbearing person at all. ✧ ever since then you two manage to win the competitions and manage to play at the same time. You two became the bestest friends which was unexpected since you considered him as a rival, though you’re still annoyed because everytime you ask him to teach you he’ll teach really badly and you wouldn’t understand anything from him. Giorno Giovanna ✧ This guy was a quiet yet smart type, he often sits at the back of the class dazing off the window and yet still able to answer questions of the teacher even when not paying attention. ✧ Though you compete with him you know not to mess with him honestly, though a lot of really negative rumours constantly spread about him. Like his family problem and things like that so you pity him at some times. ✧ Girls adore him, something about the Joestars getting fangirls annoys you a lot. They baby him, and even though sometimes he gets annoyed and straightforwadly tells them to go away sometimes he’d entertain them and be kind. Teachers always saw him as a role model student it makes you barf. ✧He’ll also probably hangout with his school gang, nobody knows what this gang does honestly, the teachers just leave him be just because they want to just leave him be and they’re too naive; thinking that it’s just a normal innocent gang where it’s a group of kids hanging out. ✧ You caught up his ‘gang’ beating up someone and since you were a witness he saw you as a immediate threat(or so you though) and this quiet kid did a whole 180 with his personality and looked at you menacingly. ✧ You don’t know how to approach him that you won’t tell anyone you’ve witnessed and always ran away everytime he approaches you or everytime his gang approaches you. Now your rivalary and competiting against grades is now ruined because this guy could always beat you anyday when it gets to physical fights, or so you thought. ✧ You always ate lunch at the rooftop so he kind of took this opportunity to calmly sit besides you and talk to you about what you saw, he just wanted to give you context so that you wouldn’t get the wrong idea. Apparently that guy was an adult selling drugs to a bunch of graduating elementary kids. ✧ You were relieved he wasn’t gonna beat you up and put you in the sewers, you took this time to also talk to him to actually see he was a nice guy, a gentle man and that you thought he was a cocky student because you always assumed him like that, not only that but you assumed him being a playboy as well since he gets so much attention. ✧ You confess all of this to him and he let’s out a quick chuckle and you just laugh as you confess all of your thoughts and competitiveness against him, he was a good listenered actually, and didn’t take it really personally, he knew deep inside that you were a good person even though before you used to give him a scary glare when you two didn’t talk yet. ✧ From that day on you start catching up to him in the hallways and talk and all his fangirls would practically hate you and give you glares as you two are having a good time. ✧ He’ll make sure you’re out of his school gang businesses and arguments with other gangs, he may not say or sometimes express it but he always cares for you and tries to be supportive in littliest ways such as listening and remembering to every detail you tell him. ✧ you’d still playfully compete with him and if he wins you’re okay with it unlike before

Thanks for reading! Reqs are open! My only requirements is no nsfw and probbably not part 5 yet since im not there hihi.(P.s I do canon x oc :) ) Sorry for not uploading for awhile

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boop-le-snoot · 3 years

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Doll Parts | tony stark x reader

i love him so much it just turns to hate // he only loves those things because he loves to see them break // and someday you will ache like i ache // Hole - Doll Parts

all hurt comfort. angst. no happy ending. big sad. tony could have been like this, you know. he was like this to pepper at some point. i don't know why i am like this today. rated M for themes of (implied) addiction & cheating and non-explicit mentions of intimacy. word count: 3,3k

It wasn't as if she was blind or dumb. She saw the way he treated everyone around him; whenever a single person got too close he'd push them away, consciously or not. The man loved pushing everybody's buttons as if he was playing Galaga for a living; rapidly, mercilessly, with intent. Tony Stark was not a man to whom a person would give their heart willingly.

It was her own fault she went and gave hers away, to him, of all people. And sometimes, it did feel like he loved her, in his own way. Tony would shower her with gifts and affection, cling to her whenever he wasn't away on SI business, and God, the sex was out of this world. Sometimes, she felt as if she would suddenly burst into a blinding flash of light, scalding and deafening, that would sprout from the invisible wounds his fingers left on her skin. Like fine china, she cracked little by little under his steady, tender hands.

The first time he'd ended their short, by average standards, but long - by his, relationship, it didn't come as a surprise. She had never held illusions on ensnaring the world's most notorious playboy. Younger and less jaded, she amicably agreed to get her things that very same day, blocked his number and left for an overdue vacation in the tropics. Being able to browse the gossip sites speculating on their lack of public appearances whilst sipping a Strawberry Daiquiri was a much better alternative to spending her nights holed up in rainy Manhattan, having to answer numerous "I told you so" calls from friends and relatives.

Maybe, three daiquiris should've been enough. But she'd quit smoking because he said the smell bothered him and she- well, she could do anything she wanted now. Being alone and not dating a very public figure definitely had way more perks than she previously had taken for granted in her much less exposed life. That's how the heartache began to recede: it was hard to mope when fun was calling for you by your name.

Some of Tony's character traits had migrated onto her. Which wasn't bad per se, she had been told she could use to loosen up. Her friends rejoiced in the newfound adventurousness, never missing an opportunity to go out, throw a party, go on a clubbing spree. She was game and she was enjoying it. Dolled up and eyes sparkling, the newfound confidence radiated off her like a beacon, attracting just about every single like-minded person in a five mile radius.

Tony's champagne he had sent to their table meant nothing. Her friends laughed and giggled and asked her all about the juicy details about the billionaire; as much as she searched the rowdy crowd for a familiar pair of baby doe browns, they weren't anywhere within sight. So she went back to talking and smiled as bright as the strobe lights, throwing down a whiskey shot to water the burning ache in her chest.

She found him on the dancefloor. Seconds after she stepped her foot into the mass of grinding bodies Tony was there, an equally happy and intoxicated smile on his face and arms wide open, as if they hadn't parted ways at all. She wanted to be angry with him, she really did, she wanted to snide his frivolity and the possessive way that he had the audacity to treat her.

His eyes, they were her untold weakness. She hadn't seen him so happy in months. Just once, she agreed, she'd let it slide. And so they danced, bodies accustomed to each other in the way that seemed to be impossible for her to achieve with anyone since the day that she left Tony Stark.

A splitting headache and a cold, empty bed greeted her the next morning. Thankfully, her clothes were laying haphazardly on the floor of the bedroom - the bed that was not his own but, rather, as she assumed, one of the many guest rooms in his tower.

Not the one to usually harbour shame of her very human needs, she felt like a cheap whore when she got dressed and grabbed her purse, making a beeline for the door to the elevator. As soon as the doors opened, she was greeted with a woman in a professional suit - tall, strawberry blonde and as cold as the Arctic, beautiful in the Vogue-magazine, unattainable way.

"Good morning," The woman spoke in a pleasant tone.

She wanted to retch from the false cheerfulness. "Good morning, ma'am. I was just leaving," Refusing to bow to her own shame, she flashed an equally cheerful grin towards the blonde.

"I'm Mr. Stark's personal assistant, my name is Pepper Potts," They briefly shook hands, neither of them wanting to touch the other longer than it was necessary. "There is a car waiting for you downstairs. Be sure to take the left exit."

Internally fuming, she smiled slightly wider, seeing no need to introduce herself or prolong the awkward interaction longer than necessary. "Thank you, Ms. Potts, that will not be necessary. I have arranged my own ride. Have a nice day, ma'am," With that, she pressed the button once again, entering the elevator with the expression of polite contentment glued to her face like a persistent piece of dog shit she couldn't shake off the bottom of her shoe.

Ms. Potts' façade slipped slightly - she must've been new - as the blonde ran a sharply observant look over the woman in the elevator, pulling out her phone as soon as the elevator door was halfway closed. That was quickly forgotten, her head growing clearer with each second it was pressed against the cold window of the cab she'd called on the way downstairs.

It was a mistake, a perfectly human accident that happened to the best of them. Only it left a bitter residue somewhere south of her ribcage, something acrid and viscous that even alcohol couldn't melt. The more she drank, the thicker that ball of rolled up frustration became, bleeding into her work, her relationships with her friends. It was tiresome to keep craving something so far out of her reach.

The exhaustion grew day by day, until her chest felt constricted for most part of the day and all the oxygen in the whole wide world wasn't enough. Her heartache was saved, strangely enough, by aliens - they rained down on New York city like frogs during the Plague in the book of Exodus; as if God himself was angry at the state of affairs of his favourite pet earthlings. For a time, she couldn't afford to worry about her broken heart and focused on the dilapidated city, landing her resources and skills whenever, whenever she could.

Late at night, exhausted and drained, she allowed herself to flick through the news, eagerly soaking up the new details that seemed to pop up every other day. Aliens were real, Thor was one, Captain America was alive and her ex-boyfriend was now a member of the merry band of misfit superheroes.

She had never taken his hero sidegig too seriously. Tony had some good in him, he wasn't the attention-demanding supervillain-waiting-to-happen, but neither he was hero material. The Tony she knew was akin to a hyperintelligent kid left without supervision. Consequences were a slight setback, not a surefire deterrent for this man.

Her building remained mostly intact - some cosmetic damages that were repaired quickly and did not concern her apartment at all - so she stayed in the same place, much to everyone's dismay. A good chunk of her friends had moved away from NYC as soon as they could - not that she blamed them - but the calls of her family, consisting of begging and nagging her to move states, were beginning to climb over the annoying line very quickly. More often than not, she ignored all calls that weren't from her friends or work.

It shouldn't have surprised her that Tony showed up on her balcony one night - but the shriek that left her was utterly involuntary. His armored suit was noisy and clunky, just like was expected from a huge chunk of metal. Tony's face was a ghost of the man she used to know: he was pale, the bags under his eyes were fit to carry groceries in and he'd lost more than a few pounds around his middle.

Not that she had a glow-up. Work hours were long, volunteer work was by far more exhausting and emotionally draining. With her support system scattered across the country and free hours few and in-between, she'd acquired a shrink. Nightmares went away and the sluggishness, too, thanks to a couple of convenient prescriptions. It seemed like the professionals were as clueless as any in dealing with the aftermath of an alien invasion.

"You weren't returning my calls," Tony stated in the way of hello. It was so like him, to be skipping the pleasantries and glossing over the details.

"I have your number blocked," She replied unkindly, raising an eyebrow as the suit retracted and the man, wearing worn jeans and an oil-stained tee, stepped into the twilight of her home without an invitation.

"I wanted to make sure you are alive and your home is being rebuilt in case it was demolished. Stark foundation is shouldering most of the expenses," He offered in the way of explanation, beelining for the nice whiskey she kept in a tumbler in the living room.

The snort escaped her lips before she could help it; brain chronically overtired but medicated; Adderall and weariness. He was never a good liar, only a good faker. "Why are you here, Tony?" All of it: the damages, the casualties, all of it was public record, accessible 24/7. All he had to do was open Google.

He turned around, scanning her head-to-toe, in that not-quite-convinced way. "Just wanted to see if you're okay," He tried for nonchalant but his eyes were haunted. The whiskey glass he was holding empty in seconds.

She walked up to him, staying at an arm's distance from the man, before doing a slow, sarcastic twirl. "I'm fine. Not a scratch. Was in Staten Island that day."

He nodded, not at all convinced. "Good," Before slamming the glass down with such force, she was afraid the countertop now sported a rounded indent. Fingers twitching, he pulled the woman into himself before she could utter a peep, smashing their lips together without any grace, paying no attention to the way she froze as still as a statue. "God, I missed you. Couldn't bear the thought of you dying..." He mumbled in between harshly biting the plump of her bottom lip and steering the kiss towards his wishes, hand tangled in the hair on the back of her head.

He tasted like whiskey and desperation.

She couldn't not give in. She'd felt the same way when she watched his red and gold armor fly into that wormhole, missile in tow. She'd felt the same despair clawing at her ribcage when his lifeless body flew back from it before being caught by the rabid green monstrosity.

It wasn't graceful and it wasn't pretty; feeling like a monster herself, she responded the same way he did. She shredded his clothes, she clawed his back, leaving wet crimson streaks in the wake of her nails and whispered the ugliest, nastiest truths she had denied herself for so long. He left with the promise to stay in contact and for once, he did.

Nothing was the same. Tony was far from the careless, extravagant billionaire he used to be. These days he was a cynical, analytical asshole that one-upped people even before he had a real need to do so. Both of them had changed, really. She was not the tender uptown girl either.

The nights with him were rare and long; the nights alone with her work were recurrent and longer. The tower stood out on the NYC skyline like a sore thumb, beckoning with the unattainable snipe hunt of having something stable with the world's #1 superhero, Tony Stark. Each time they met, she felt almost as dirty as the time she stood in the elevator under the scrutiny of Pepper Potts.

Even if he didn't outright hide her. She'd ran into Black Widow and Clint Barton once or twice, each of them casting a glance at her Special Visitor badge before muttering niceties and moving on with their day. It was only slightly better with the Captain: he got in the elevator two floors below Tony's penthouse at 8 AM in the morning, just as she was leaving for work - dressed in a sharp pantsuit that was not-quite on Pepper's level. The soldier must've assumed she was a high-rank employee or a friend, the tips of his cheeks blushing as he spoke a quiet: "Good morning, ma'am," In that semi-formal tone of his.

Seeing a grown man get so flustered was quite adorable. "Good morning, Captain Rogers, sir," She replied in a matching tone, humoring him.

The elevator stopped suddenly and a few employees got in, staring openly at the national icon, who had his eyebrows slanted in confusion. The woman shared his sentiment: it was Tony's private elevator. She guessed all the other ones were too full in the mornings so the tower's AI put the underused one to work.

Or, at least, that's what she tried to convince herself of anyway. It wouldn't be past Tony to get jealous over something as trivial as sharing an elevator car with Captain America.

The plateau of normalcy didn't last long. Just as she was opening her third bottle of wine for the night, laptop open on the kitchen counter and proudly displaying "Tony Stark and Pepper Potts - America's newest power couple?" article, she realised he was a coward, too. Slowly but surely, he had ghosted her, not even bothering with an explanation of his sudden unavailability, the several dates missed and even more postponed indefinitely.

They were never going to be a normal couple. She had made her peace with that, ugly and depressing - but it was real. She thought what they had was real. She finally had admitted to herself that she loved him, loved an impossible man, loved to the bottom of Hell and pitfire. The fireworks under her skin had never fully gone away, she realised as more and more ugly sobs broke from her chapped lips.

She blocked his number again and bought herself a new one, deleting the "Tony Stark" contact for good. There was more than enough work to do and the time to feel sorry for herself was sparse. And if she picked up a habit to make sure the time working was spent with proper efficiency, without soaking documents in saltwater that her eyes seemed to overproduce those days? It wasn't a big deal. She needed to get back on her feet somehow, without being dragged by a man who wasn't even present to actively be ruining her life anymore.

If anything, she thought she should feel grateful. The blinding light, the stars that exploded and shone inside her only for Tony, became something poisonous and vile. It wasn't the bitter taste of regret; rather, she felt a flash of ravenous, burning anger every time his name or his face popped up in a press article within her eyesight. Love and hate weren't that different when it came to the intensity: she basked in those newfound feelings, taking care to pick apart and neatly sort each of his perceived flaws on a cute little shelf in her overtaxed brain and fatigued heart.

It wasn't healthy. A convenient escape for the summer; a cabin far, far away from the busy New York city - she took up the offer and relocated there, being content with working remotely, drinking strawberry mimosas by the lakeside. Day by day, the clarity of her mind returned, lulled into a false sense of security by the tranquil trees slowly swaying in the breeze and wide ripples in the water.

Tony seemed to be enjoying bringing chaos into her life and making her miserable. The quinjet landed right on the neatly manicured lawn in front of the cabin, several obviously exhausted and wounded superheroes dismounting the vehicle, Tony looking sheepish but determined in the lead.

She wasn't completely unaware of the rest of the world and knew of the fiasco the Avengers recently had. Was it the half-dead, limping Widow or the baby blues of the Captain, she couldn't tell, but the woman ushered them into her house, gathering the tools needed for first aid with haste. Fate wasn't looking to give her a break.

As soon as she stepped foot in the kitchen, alone, Tony was there, looking much like that time on the balcony, baby doe browns turned up to eleven and a groveling speech prepared on demand. He'd noticed her weight loss and the ashen tone of her skin, the prominent veins and the bags under her eyes. She was as obvious as a brick to the face with her vices.

She slapped him. He winced, but stayed quiet, preparing himself for the storm - and storm him she did, keeping quiet enough for most of the team to be able to tactfully ignore the scolding Tony was getting. "I despise, you, Stark. You're a coward. Do not dare to set foot in my house ever again."

Needless to say, the superheroes departed shortly after Natasha's injuries were stabilised and frowning, disappointed Thor and Steve (they'd asked her to address them by their first names) bashfully apologized for their sudden intrusion and any discomfort they might have caused. She smiled at Steve, wide and big; refusing to admit it was done just to spite Tony, she joked and blushed in response to the Captain.

Tony did not attempt to contact her again. For some time, she lived in fear - irrational one at that - he'd appear and wreck her life one more, final time, before admiring the destruction and leaving her a steaming pile of ashes on the floor. But seasons passed and all of it faded, like a vivid, terrible nightmare.

Piece by piece, her life was getting put back together. His name stopped invoking a swarm of feelings she needed to drown just to stay afloat; there were news regarding him, another violent altercation, and she simply flicked the TV back to adult swim. New friends and new hobbies were being made; the fine cracks made by his agile fingers were being filled with the gold of newer, better discoveries.

There was always something going on in the superhero world and finally one of the topics reached her line of work: mutant rights. She'd never stopped being a volunteer after that NYC invasion, making new connections in a domain previously unexplored, it paid off in spades regarding her career growth. The connections were vital to be able to climb the corporate ladder successfully.

Stark showed up at her door three days after half of his merry band of misfits were pronounced fugitives. This time, she expected it. She knew better than to expect him to assume responsibility by himself - a quick Google search and his relationship status was listed as once again single - the Virginia Potts she knew would not have let anything like that happen. Stark was on his own.

"They betrayed me," He'd said, from behind the door she had cracked open a few inches, to make him know he wasn't welcome in her home.

"I think you know now, how I felt then," She didn't falter, ignoring the way his still freshly-bruised face darkened. "As far as I am concerned, you deserve it. Goodbye, Tony." She shut the door without waiting for his response, hearing his footsteps slowly back away as she made herself another coffee.

Tony Stark taglist: @another-stark-sub @letsby @mostly-marvel-musings @rdjesus4ever @ladyeliot

Well um 💀 yeah. I'll go and attempt to scavenge some serotonin somewhere now. Thanks for reading! 💖✨

#tony stark angst #tony stark x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x you #bun writes: drabbles #bun writes #this is me tearing your heart out and having it for dinner 💚#it's okay i obsess over this scenario and send myself spiraling at least twice a month

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realcube · 3 years

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karasuno boys spending christmas with you 🎄

;tw// christmas (?), santa ig, extreme fluff, shoplifting, underage drinking, violence, ennoshita, kinoshita and narita exclusion 😞

(a/n): ik the gif isn’t hq but look how cute it is (○｀ 3′○). also i’m aware that i wrote a rather western-washed version of Christmas (despite the characters in question not being western) but as someone of an asian ethnicity, imo western traditions surrounding Christmas are a lot more..festive (?) which i hope that isn’t offensive considering that Christmas was popularised by the west. so, in short, sorry the traditions aren’t those that are celebrated in japan (or asia) but i just found it i had a lot more inspiration to write it this way. :) perhaps i’ll make a part 2 with aoba johsai or nekoma celebrating Christmas with japanese traditions

Shōyō Hinata

you spend christmas at his house bc he wants to be with his sister on the day

and any sibling that you live with, he insists that they stay over too

but if you don’t have any younger siblings then y’all just spend the whole day spoiling natsu

hinata absolutely adores how well you get on with his sister, it just makes him so happy seeing his two favourite people having fun together

although, it did make him a bitter when he asked natsu if she likes the doll he bought her and she said,

“Yeah, thank you. But look at the Furby (L/N) got me! It’s pink and so fluffy, feel it! And it talks, it’s eyes move and-” Then she continues to rave on about how amazing your gift was.

honestly, y’all spend the whole day pampering natsu; making sure she has the best christmas possible

y’all made gingerbread cookies with her, helped her built a snowman (or rather, a snowwoman because she insisted that it was a lady), snowangels, opening presents, christmas crackers, watching movies - the whole shabang.

probably the only time in the day were she was sad was at 10PM when hinata insisted that she goes to bed

natsu looked at you to back her up in her argument that she should be allowed to stay up late on christmas but you kinda just stood there like 🧍‍♀️/🧍‍♂️

not wanting to get involved in their family drama (unproblematic liege 😍😩)

eventually though, natsu did go to bed and as soon as she was sound asleep, you and hinata spent the night cuddling while watching more christmas movies as you were both too tired to do anything else

you ended up falling asleep in his arms and it was a christmas miracle that his arm didn’t get pins and needles like it usually did while cuddling for a long period of time

Tobio Kageyama

i’m a firm believer that he doesn’t celebrate christmas

not that he doesn’t like the concept, it’s just doesn’t understand the hype

plus - other than going to nationals - there isn’t much he wants and from what he knows, santa can’t make that happen

but as soon as you come over to his house on christmas day with a tub filled with cookies shaped and decorated like volleyballs, suddenly christmas is his favourite holiday

he invites you inside to eat the cookies with him and you notice that he’s watching a volleyball match on the TV

you giggle at how passionate he is about about the sport and offer to cast a Christmas movie from your phone onto the TV

he says yes since this is probably the 10th time he’s rewatched the same match

you scroll through the list of christmas movies available on Netflix, “Wanna watch Arthur Christmas?”

“No.”

“How about the Grinch?”

“Eh, no.”

“Ooh! What about the Nativity? I love that movie-”

“No thanks.”

So you ended up watching Frozen and Frozen 2 (on a different streaming site) because Kageyama didn’t like any of the Christmas movies available on Netflix

You figured that Frozen kinda counted as a Christmas movie because..there was snow :)

anyway, you already knew Kageyama tolerated Disney Movies so Frozen was your best bet

and as it turns out, he was oddly engaged by the movie which gave you an opening to slip into his arms, stifling an evil snicker the whole time

as we all know, when Kageyama is into something he is into it.

so whenever the climax of the movie comes up (or any part with high suspense) you feel him squeeze you slightly and tense up

AND IT IS THE MOST ADORABLE THING PERIODT 🥺😩

so yeah your christmas with him is not overly Praise The Lord but it very fun and cute since it mostly consists of Disney movies

(also Barbie: A Christmas Carol because it gave you both overwhelming nostalgia since he has a big sister who i now headcanon to be a barbie movie addict ✋)

Kei Tsukishima

the biggest grinch™

mostly bc every year he drops hints to both his mum and brother that he wants new headphones but every year he still gets a snowglobe from his mum and something dinosaur related from his brother

even though his brother is aware that he is ‘too old for that shit’ now

but Akiteru just loves seeing his brother’s pissed off face whenever he opens his gift (which is a similar size to a headphones box) to find something like a Jurassic Park Lego set

anyway, backstory over - in short, Tsukishima very much dislikes Christmas

So when you appear at his door with a gift, he slams the door closed

“Tsukishima!” You roar as that was quite rude - even for Tsukishima - since it was snowing and you were clearly freezing, “Let me in! I’m freezing my tits off out here!”

Eventually, he did let you in and gave you a hot chocolate as an apology but as soon as you tried to hand him the give, he refused to take it

“No.”

“Why not?” You whined, clearly upset that he wouldn’t take the gift you went through so much effort to get your hands on.

“Because I didn’t get you anything.”

You rolled your eyes, “You got me this hot chocolate - now, take it. It’s seriously not much.”

Upon eyeing the wrapped box in your hand, he realised it was about 9x9″ - the same size as the tub you usually deliver food in, meaning that the gift was probably some sweet treats

“Alright.” He sighed, accepting he gift as he figured that he could easily pay you back by making Christmas cookies with you or something

He hummed, delicately unwrapping the gift and his heart skipped a beat as he noticed the present inside was in a black box rather than a clear tub which you normally gave homemade treats in

nevertheless, he persevered in unwrapping the box

when he finally finished, his heart dropped yet he couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed with joy

“Wireless headphones.” He muttered to himself, doing everything in his power to resist the smile tugging on the corner of his lips but it was challenging, to say the least

“Yeah!” You chirped, “Don’t worry about the price though, I got them on a Black Friday sale.” You lied, aware that it was usually considered rude to talk about the price of a gift you’ve given but knowing if you didn’t say anything, Tsukishima would assume you paid full price (which you did smh) and immediately empty his bank account in order to pay you back

You could almost envision the situation already; “Would you like it in cash or cheque?”

“Neither, Kei!”

“You seriously got me branded headphones?” Non-imaginary Tsukishima asked, unable to pry his eyes off the long-awaited gift in his hands

“Y-Yeah.” You stuttered at his unusually sinister voice. “I wanted to buy you noise-cancelling headphones and Google said these were the best ones available that weren’t selling for millions of y--”

“I love you.”

You did a double-take, “Huh?”

“I love you.”

You did a..triple-take.. “I-I don’t think I heard you correctly.”

“I’m not saying it again, dumbass.”

now, tsukishima wasn’t a very affectionate person but considering you paid full price for headphones (yes, he knows. you’re not a very good liar 😐) for him, the least you deserved was forehead kisses

plus, he was determined to make you as happy as you made him that day

so can get all the kisses you want, all the hugs, all the cuddles, all the smiles, all the cookies- everything!

but that’s not to say that he’s not going to get you anything in return as subtly through the day he was gathering info on what to get you

by the end of it, he had a whole list but unfortunately - after looking at his bank account - he realised that the only thing he could afford was an easy-bake oven (┬┬﹏┬┬)

Tadashi Yamaguchi

y’all spent Christmas at your house because Yamaguchi was absolutely entranced by your massive Christmas tree

he also slept over because you both wanted experience the Christmas morning buzz together

also because your parents were working on Christmas day and Yamaguchi didn’t want you to be alone 🥺

(he didn’t tell you that though as he didn’t want you to think that he felt bad for you or anything)

after you both completed you morning routines, you raced downstairs (quite literally raced; you won.) to open the presents

the milk and cookies you both hand left out for ‘Santa’ was gone because your parents chugged the milk and scarfed the cookies before they left for work

“Open the presents I got you first!” You urged Yamaguchi, pointing to the two presents wrapped in Sanrio wrapping paper

Yamaguchi did so; sitting on the floor cross-legged to open the larger, box-shaped gift first

“Candy!” He chirped with a smile, gently shifting through the selection of sweets you got him, his grin stretching as he did so and once he was finished, it was beaming ear-to-ear. “You know me so well, thank you so much, (L/N).”

You giggled, a light blush crossing your features at the praise - then motioning to the second, smaller, thinner gift.

Yamaguchi accidently tore the wrapping paper off to reveal basic, charcoal face masks.

You quickly interjected to explain, “You said that you were embarrassed about how the animal-themed face masks your mum bought you were too childish and that they just made your skin more oily so bought you those; less embarrassing and supposedly good for oily skin.”

Yamaguchi’s heart fluttered upon hearing how much attention you paid during his random rants, “Thank you, babe!” He enthused, hugging the mask to his chest.

After that, you opened the gift he bought you and were over the moon when you realised that it was a box full of adorable stationary

“I noticed how you kept complaining about your pens running out of ink during class and..yeah..I hope you like it..”

You obviously loved it and expressed that by giving him a big bear hug and many kisses (づ￣ 3￣)づ (*≧︶≦))

By then, it was around Midday so you had time to play in the snow for a bit before Yamaguchi had to go home to spend the rest of Christmas with his family

but of course he came back on Boxing Day to binge watch movies and cuddle with you 🥰

Daichi Sawamura

okay; I am going to say this and you aren’t going to argue with me bc I know that I’m right:

if you have any younger siblings or cousins staying in your house for Christmas (and I mean younger like 5 or less) and the kid isn’t a little shit

daichi (with your assistance) will dress up as Santa and you will dress up as an elf to surprise the child with a visit

daichi would be like ‘ho ho ho!’ and you’d be like ‘shut up, santa, you fatass.’

and the kid would be like ✪ ω ✪

y’all would take pictures and shit before santa dips 🚶‍♂️🛷

after that, you both would head back to his place to celebrate a kid-free christmas

you don’t open gifts because you both mutually agreed not to get anything for each other this year since you had ‘grown out of presents’ (tsk).

but you did get a RingFit Adventure from one for your relatives for Christmas so you and Daichi spend an hour or two playing that

it’s surprisingly taxing though so you’re both puffed afterwards

so you decided to make spaghetti for yourself and Daichi and a Christmas miracle occurred..he got off of his ass to help you cook 🤩

usually he’d hide his fear off fucking up under toxic masculinity but today he actually let you teach him how to make food and he was a natural chef tbh

however, his habit of grabbing your ass or holding your lower back wasn’t especially helpful while he had tomato sauce all over his hands

you changed into a different pair of bottoms as the spaghetti cooled down

then, a second Christmas miracle occurred

Daichi gave you both permission to eat in the living room, on the couch, so y’all could watch a movie or something as you ate

every other day of the year, daichi would have to be killed before he let anybody eat in the living room - forget on his new couch

but today was a special so he let it slide

originally, the plan was to watch a Christmas movie but then you noticed that a new episode of y’alls favourite show was out - House Hunters - so you just watched that instead

hey, it made you both happy so why not?

especially with daichi’s running commentary which you outwardly expressed annoyance to but internally loved

“Andromeda will never be Suzanne, rest easy.”

“That house is so ugly, next.”

“Why’s their budget so low? May as well just buy a caravan.”

“They are so fucking picky.”

“Her face annoys me.”

IT LIKE HIS ALTER-EGO IT’S AMAZING

anyway, merry christmas to the daichi stans and that is from me, not daichi - he actually forgot it was Christmas at noon

Kōshi Sugawara

SUGA IS DOMESTIC LIKE DAICHI BUT MAKE IT ❄ FESTIVE❄

y’all bake christmas cookies together, exchanges small gifts, bake carrot cake, watch The Polar Express, bake pudding, kiss under the mistletoe, bake-- yeah, there was a lot of baking

get ready to work out twice as much and start dieting if you don’t want to develop an illness due to the amount of sugar you consumed

to be honest, Suga was kinda lost for things to do on the actual day of Christmas bc y’all were so hyped preparing for it so he had no idea how to top that

I mean, you both went on romantic, late night car drives to buy a tree

cute couple trips to the store to purchase decorations

planning out and putting the decorations around the house (and with both of your keen eyes for design, the house ends up looking gorgeous ofc)

you ornamented the tree in his living room but it was so tall that he couldn’t reach the very tip to put the final decoration on top

so you hopped onto his shoulders and stuck the star on top with a smile

but he wasn’t done with you yet, he rushed around the house with you on his shoulders while you clung onto his hair as if your life depended on it

he did most of the festivities with you before Christmas but he saved one special one for the day

“(Y/N), let’s bake something.”

You sighed, shooting him a weary smile, “Suga, we’ve been baking all day.”

“Just one last thing! It’s not even baking actually, more like assembling.”

You quirked an eyebrow at his statement, “Hm? What is it?”

“Let’s make our dream houses with gingerbread!”

Of course you agreed. Not just because he is the cutest thing you’ve ever laid your eyes on but also since it sounded rather fun

“What are those?” You pointed to the weird rectangular designs on the roof of his house

“Solar panels.” He hummed, elegantly icing the sides of his house, “I want my future house run on that energy.”

“Anyway, what’ve you got on your house?” Finishing off the final swirl on his door, he turned to look at your gingerbread home and deadpanned

A sheepish grin formed on your lips as you noticed his blank expression towards your ‘dream home’ which has walls garnished with golden, edible glitter and sugar paper sanrio characters on the roof along with many other extremely unconventional things

“Hey,” you shrugged, “Let me have my dreams.”

“Of course,” Suga agreed, his usual sweet smile returning, “Although, in an ideal world, I thought we’d end up living together and starting a family. However, I don’t think we can do that if you planning on putting a horse head on our front door.”

“IT WAS JUST LYING THERE, KŌSHI! IF ANYTHING IT’S YOUR FAULT FOR GIVING ME ACCESS TO A MARZIPAN HORSE!”

“I DIDN’T THINK THAT YOU’D DECAPITATE IT, (Y/N)! I THOUGHT YOU’D USE IT FOR A STABLE OR FARM OR SOMETHING!”

“YOU SHOULD KNOW ME BETTER THAN THAT!”

Asahi Azumane

you both spent christmas day in your respective households, promising each other that you’d spend boxing day together

until around 7PM when you had to come over to his house bc he called you, extremely puzzled at the fact that random mutuals from school (and the whole volleyball team) were on his instagram page, facebook, snapchat and any/every other social media platform wishing him a happy birthday

“I don’t get it.” He spoke through the phone, confusion and anxiety apparent in his voice, “My birthday isn’t for another six days. Why do they think it is today? Is this a joke?”

“Uh, can I come over? I’d love to see you.”

“Um, sure.” He replied, even more confused that you didn’t answer his question and instead asking one yourself

you spent the rest of the day with him, trying your very best to distract him from social media by doing various activities

you both baked, watched movies, played board games (he’s a beast at battleships) then you moved on to other games like charades - basically every bs excuse you could come up with to get him to stay away from his phone

but that’s not to say you didn’t enjoy every second of it bc you did

he is so cute like whenever you are doing an action which he can’t interpret, his automatic guess is ‘are my beautiful gf (Y/N) (L/N) who i love very much? (= ❛ ᴗ ❛=)’

PRECIOUS 💓

and then you are just like, ‘yes, i am, baby. but i am also optimum prime. your turn.’

anyway, by the end of the day there was no way you were able to prevent him from finding out about the joke now

so you just decided to tell him - figuring that it’d be better for him to hear it from you rather than someone else

“See.. y’know how jesus was allegedly born on christmas day? well, the joke is that..you kinda look like what people assume jesus would’ve looked like..”

Asahi had to do a double-take at what you just said, “Th-they..think I look like jesus?”

“yeah.”

Ryūnosuke Tanaka

you’re both broke af so you spend Christmas day pretending you are a rich couple

you slept over at his house too so you could start early in the morning and by that I mean 10:30AM

firstly, you and tanaka flick through an Argos catalogue (which you found on the ground, so there were a few mud stains on it 😶) to select the gift(s) you were going to buy for your ‘children’

but really it was just you and him going through it and circling all the toys y’all wanted as kids but couldn’t afford/didn’t get

“I super badly wanted one of those kiddie monster trucks that you could control with a remote as a child so my son is going to need one of those.” Tanaka said, circling the monster truck with a marker

“Yes, of course. And I asked for Monster High dolls every year as a kid but my parents said they were everything god hates so let’s buy that because we stan satan in this house, apparently .”

“Of course, of course.” He said in his best ‘rich person’ voice which was actually just an english accent

After resenting your parents for around an hour, you both moved onto the next activity of your rich person Christmas which included reading your horoscope in an english accent

that only lasted a few minutes though because both of you couldn’t be bothered to read

you also planned to look at the stock market (just like all rich people do on christmas day, obvs) but it was so boring

you took a glance then just went ‘okay, bye.’

next, you had caviar - just like rich people eat for every meal of the day, i think.

except it was actually black pop rocks

“ah, yes. scrumptious.” “the flavour is immaculate.”

then, as dawn drew close, you and tanaka preformed your final rich person activity

no, it wasn’t being rude to minimum wage workers

no, it wasn’t being ungrateful

no, it wasn’t exploiting the working class under capitalism

no, it wasn’t being generally stuck-up and cocky

instead, it was going to the grocery shop and buying everything rather than shoplifting :)

“what should we get, babe?” you asked tanaka, in awe at how many different brands of toilet paper were on the shelves. “Have you ever noticed how spoiled we are for choice when it comes to toilet paper?”

“uh, no.” he replied in reference to the toilet paper question, “Hm, how about some gingerbread men or something?”

his suggestion was just met by a blank stare and silence

“JUST KIDDING! WE’RE TOTALLY BUYING BOOZE!”

“Hell yeah!”

luckily, because tanaka looked a lot older than 17 and also since the cashier was too tired to check his ID, you both managed to buy the drinks without getting caught

“Merry Christmas, Ryū.” You hummed, fidgeting with his hand which was interlocked with yours as you walked through a rather prestigious neighbourhood and admired all the extravagant christmas lights

“Merry Christmas, (Y/N). Love you.”

Yū Nishinoya

you and noya spent the whole day in his backyard and since it was a white christmas, you were able to spend the 90% playing in the snow

at first, you both went outside with the intention of making snowangels and taking cute couple photos in the snow

but the weather was just so inviting that you had to stay for a little longer even when you did finish taking pictures; so you made the ‘ultimate’ snowman

by that, it was just the biggest snowman y’all could make without it falling apart with stones for eyes, spiking out twigs for hair and an empty Monster Energy can for a nose

once you had completed the snowman and basked in it’s glory for a moment, you went to head inside - but then you felt something hit your back

you turned around to see noya snickering, a mischievous grin on his face which you couldn’t stand

so what started out as him playfully throwing a snowball at your back, eventually turned into a full-on snowball battle to the death

there were snow forts, piles of snow ammunition, mini snow-warriors guarding the edges of your fort, a snow-princess which you were trying to steal from each other’s fort to win (basically like capture the flag but colder..) and a few brunch bars in the middle of the battle field for snack breaks

it was all going smoothly until Noya ran up to your base, obviously with the intention to steal your princess

“stay away from her, you fiend!” You yelled, jumping into an offensive stance - your neighbours must hate you bc of all the noise you and Noya made.

Noya screaming his battle cry as he rushed towards your fort, batista bombing you to the ground before you had a chance to attack him with a snowball

now that you were out of the equation, he scurried over to your princess which was perches on a little snow podium you made for her

he grabbed it, lifting it above his head like a trophy and letting out a loud victory cry “I win!”

he then turned to you and laughed upon noticing that you had your face buried into the snow in shame, “You have been defeated, (L/N)! And the great Rolling Thunder prospers!”

“That’s a stupid nickname.” You groaned, outstretching your arms to allow him to pick you up, “Now take me inside, I’m tired.”

“Alright, babe.” He spoke softly, seemingly coming down from his adrenaline high.

He strolled towards you, scooping you up into his arms - off the snow - and carrying you inside

unbeknownst to him, you had fallen asleep as he held you and once he put you down on the couch and noticed- i- my man almost died of happiness

“Oh my god, (Y/N)! You’re so fucking cute! (❤´艸｀❤)” he hollered, peppering your face in kisses

“Shhh..” you hushed Noya, sticking your bottom lip out to form a pout

Noya nodded understandingly before hopping onto the couch beside you and snuggling up

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prose-for-hire · 3 years

Text

All I want for Christmas is you

[This is a (late) part of my 12 Days of Chirstmas fics]

Pairing: Spike x fem!reader

Request: Hi! A spike request angst for the holiday collection. Where spike and the reader get into a massive fight and he says some really hurtful things. So its really awkward leading into Christmas and the reader considers leaving him. But then spike gives the reader a present on Christmas like a sorry present that changes her mind :)

Requested by: Anon

Warning: Spike and reader fight and say mean things. Swearing. Very light sex references.

A/N: I use the ambiguous phrase ‘jewellery’ rather than explaining what the object is because it’s a reader insert and some people like certain items and some people don’t like any jewellery (blame Buffy and Dawn sorry)

You and Spike loved each other, you knew this. But you and Spike also argued. All the time. You had broken up and got back together more times than you could count. It was a ‘can’t live with him, can’t live without him’ situation. And you were just going in circles.

This particular time, finds you and Spike finishing decorating the crypt. It had been fun, by all accounts. You had even got a tree. He had managed to distract you a lot, making an hour’s task lasting the entire day.

When you were loved up, it was bliss. It was fierce passion. Often languid and sensual. Even giddy and fun at times.

He hugged you from behind, closing his eyes as he inhaled, kissing the back of your head. His hands started to wander from your hips and you closed your eyes in delight. Pressed against him felt so right.

“Did you hear that?” You said, your eyes snapping open. It was bells. Little, twinkling Christmas bells. It was eerie, not cheery. You hadn’t bought any bells.

Spike groaned in frustration and looked around as if you had gone mad. You were always doing this. Driving him wild. Teasing him so.

“What in the buggering hell are you goin’ on about?”

“There’s something…” You said cryptically as you looked around, which irritated him to no end.

“It’s nothing, just- come here”

“Spike! Why don’t you listen to me?” You pouted slightly, hoping it was entice him to take you seriously, check if there was a threat. But it did the opposite.

“Oh, right, and what’s your plan then? Why don’t we scream and run away. That’s about the form of your fighting skills anyhow ain’t it?”

“Just shut up – it’s Christmas” You snapped, looking at him as if he needed to drop it. But this just irritated him, as if you were chastising him. Like he was someone you could control. Emasculate.

“Poor little y/n, making things up for a scrap of attention again” He stuck his lower lip out and tilted his head to the side, in a way that nobody would describe anything other than patronisingly, “You don’t know who you are, not without me” He added the end after a pause.

“You’re the one that followed me around for months on end before I agreed to date you!” You bit back. This is where everything tended to go south. Fast.

“Yeah? Well we’re only together after last time ‘cause I took pity on you and took you back – saw how I left you wantin’ thought we might as well. You’re attractive at least” He leaned in and took your chin, moving you to face him as he insulted you. You held back tears. He was supposed to love you, why was he always so mean?

“Fuck you, Spike!” You shouted, grabbing his wrist and moving him from touching you before adding, “You’re such a self-assured pig!”

“Yeah, you love it” He purred.

“I hate you”

“No, you don’t” He stated. Before dragging his voice out almost sing-song like but in a humourless way, “You want me. You need me” He bit his lip, moving closer and closer, making you shiver. He was trying to charm you into submission. Again.

Well, it wouldn’t work… not this time anyway.

“You’re the one that wouldn’t leave Buffy’s doorstep until I came back with you! You’re obsessive! You’re a slave to love, no - to pain, Spike!” You stated, moving away from where he had started to back you against the wall.

“Slave to you” He offered, that look in his eye. Offering to forget about it, although he had been the one that had been cruel. His look offering making up. In bed, wherever you wanted. He would even apologise if it meant you wouldn’t leave him again. But you were still mad, still angry at the way he spoke to you.

His look almost made you back down, he was hard to resist. You were addicted to each other. Even when you were fighting it could switch to sex so easily. To hot passion.

But not today.

“No. You’re not. You don’t want me. You want drama, a fight. I’m sick of it! Forget it” You shouted, continuing, “I mean it this time, Spike! We’re done!”

“Love, you don’t mean that – we’re-”

“Finished!” You ended his sentence for him, “Get out!”

“No- I’m the one with my name above the door, you don’t bloody pay the rent” He said, backing away from you as you had that look in your eye. You could be downright vindictive.

“Neither do you - it’s a crypt, you don’t pay shit!”

“You wouldn’t throw your fella out just before Christmas, would you, love?” He tried as you had walked him out of the front door, throwing his leather duster at him. He caught it in a ball and clutched it to his chest.

He sighed exaggeratedly. He really didn’t want to have to rough it somewhere, exposing himself to possible sunlight. He wanted you again. He cursed himself. Wished he had just kept his mouth shut.

But you weren’t so innocent. If he hadn’t created an argument, you would have done. It had been in the air. Building up over weeks.

“Bloody women!” He screamed at the door you had unceremoniously slammed in his face. He heard you slide the bolt across the door and he kicked it for good measure, howling in pain and hobbling away.

To add insult to injury, as he stalked through the streets trying to find a suitable crypt it had started to snow. The first bloody snow here in centuries and he had been caught up in it. It couldn’t get any worse.

Shit. Why did he have to think that? He rounded the corner and almost ran straight into the Slayer. He had been dragging his feet, kicking a stone until he looked up and saw her.

“There a reason you’re terrorising the sidewalk, Spike?”

“None of your business”

“Y/n’s kicked you out again hasn’t she?” Buffy’s face lit up as his face gave away she had guessed correctly.

She enjoyed seeing him like this. She was your best friend and she thought (no, knew) that you were too good for him. She told you all the time. But you were both too swept up in the animal attraction. In the possessive, heated entanglement you couldn’t escape if you wanted to.

“Betty the do-good…-er” Spike floundered. It wasn’t his best line. He was ridiculously sad. Mourning the loss of his relationship with you again. He craved you, he wept for you. There was a deep aching in his chest the further he walked from the crypt. The further he walked from you.

“That was tragic. You weren’t kiddin’ when you said you were bad” Buffy said, not able to hide the smile at her own joke.

“Yeah, well, just lost the love of my un-life here. Give a bloke a break” He snapped, sniffing and trying to wipe his eye on his sleeve subtly. Buffy rolled her eyes but for some reason, before she went over to the crypt to collect you and the overnight bag you had packed and re-packed more than you can count, she turned back to him.

“You know she feels the same. Maybe it’s time to let go, Spike. Or buy jewellery. I hear girls like jewellery” Buffy shrugged.

“Yeah, you wouldn’t know” He muttered, luckily she didn’t hear it or she would have spun back and staked him on site. She only hadn’t before the previous interaction because she knew you would never forgive her.

Your relationship was infuriating. And not just to you and Spike. It had a ripple effect, it was a part of your friends lives too. One day you would be shouting and screaming, the next passionately making love on the nearest surface. It was exciting and painful, like whiplash from a rollercoaster. The rollercoaster that was y/n and Spike.

It had been a few days now. You were staying at Buffy’s. She was a good friend to you. No matter how many times you and Spike yo-yo’d between love and hate she was there for you. With as little judgement as she could.

She comforted you while you cried, heartbroken despite Buffy being sure you would manage to find it in your heart to forgive him yet again. You clutched the mug of hot chocolate she had made, complete with marshmallows. She had learnt well from Joyce.

Dawn had slipped you some of her freshly baked sugar-cookies that she had made specially to cheer you up. She had decorated them with little Christmas characters which made you smile at her.

The girl adored your relationship with Spike, whether rightly or wrongly. She looked up to you, wanting to emulate a passionate relationship like that herself when she was older. It was like you were in a romance novel or something.

What you and Buffy didn’t know that since you had moved in, Dawn was Spike’s spy. She was, for the price of $5 and scary stories from his past, she told him all about what you said and how you were feeling. He now knew you were upset, missing him. Wallowing the same as he was. Well, good. But now, he had to make it up to you. He made Dawn help him brainstorm into the night.

She wanted to do it, she was sure it was for a good cause. In the name of true love, obviously.

Spike walked her back to Buffy’s where the Slayer was pacing and you were watching out for her to come home. You were going to give her the heads up that Buffy wasn’t pleased that she had gone awol. The snow had fallen thick now, anything could have happened and Buffy was scared Dawn was hurt.

You saw her then, with him. Your heart rose and your eyes glistened. You watched him trudge beside her, the white glow of the snow lighting up his face, making his cheekbones more prominent. He took a final drag of his cigarette before throwing it away, his eyes finally meeting yours through the window.

You walked to the door and unlocked it, whispering to Dawn that Buffy was gunning for her before turning back to Spike.

“Love…” He started. You just shook your head, you were still hurt.

“Goodbye, Spike” You said pointedly, closing the door on him once more. This time you turned with your back against the door, sliding down it as you started to cry. Dawn worried that it would take more than the Christmas gift they had been planning to win you back as Buffy scooped you up. She suggested that there was plenty of Christmas films you could watch, to take your mind off things. You nodded, leaning against her shoulder debating yourself whether to run after him or not. Buffy decided against any heavy romance-based films as you continued to sniff.

Eventually, Christmas Day came and it was the first that you spent without him in years. You usually made up before. You spent the entire day with a fake smile plastered on your face, not just at the slightly misjudged present from Anya (it was a vibrator, because you were on your own. You opened it in front of Dawn not realising and Buffy had to cover her eyes).

You thought about him the entire day. You ached, pined. You almost braved the thick snow, that you had almost been snowed in by, more than once before one of your friends distracted you with something.

As night fell, you gave up hoping. That was, until, there was a sharp knock at the door. His knock, you knew it. You had slammed the door in his face too many times not to know that knock. You sprinted over there, swinging the door open.

“Spike” You breathed, smiling. You had felt his absence so painfully.

“I know, I’m not stopping, wouldn’t wanna interrupt the touch-feely bollocks I’m sure is in full swing about now” He said and it made you smile, You loved the way he spoke. His accent. The way he phrased everything as if he had crafted it just for your ears.

He handed you a surprisingly well-wrapped gift as you smiled down at it, “It’s- for me? But I didn’t have time to get-”

“You know the only gift you could give me worth anything would be you” He admitted, which was how you felt for him. You didn’t need this, but you knew this was his way of apologising.

You opened the present and gasped, smiling wider. It was jewellery, just the kind you adored with a little gem that sparkled in the moonlight. You looked over at him, how could you ever have doubted him? He did his best by you, he always did. You knew who he was when you had started dating, just as he had known who you were.

“Spike, I’m sorry for how-” You started, but he shook his head, taking your hand.

“This- the way we- it’s not right, I know it” he admitted that the way things were, the bad seemed to take over the good. He lived in hope, though. He was convinced that this time it would be all love, “But I want you, I burn for you – it’s why the gem’s that colour, see? You’re the only one for me, the only one I could ever love through it all” He said it so honestly. So sincerely.

You invited him in after you whispered your own affections, much to everyone else’s chagrin. You showed them the gift and Dawn cheered, telling you she helped. You grinned at her and Spike had to convince Buffy not to stake him again. You both stayed in the living room for a moment, listening to the rest of them talking and just gazing into each other’s eyes.

Then you were kissing. His lips on yours hotly, you had missed this so bad. His lips were made for yours. He drank you in, all of you. Your flaws and your perfections.

He loved your everything. The good and the bad. And you matched his message. He felt it, deepening the kiss. Forgetting where you were for a moment. Until he heard your friends mutter insults at him.

He picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his waist. All the while, you had barely stopped for breath. You never wanted to part from him again. You were pressed close to him, willing him even closer.

His lips caught any exposed skin on your neck, your jaw as he carried you without word upstairs. You looped one arm around his neck, the other against his jaw so you could catch his lips again with heightened desire.

The others just watched you leave, trying to ignore the way you were all-but grinding against Spike in anticipation. None of them were surprised by the turn of events but they weren’t exactly pleased either.

Buffy, Xander, Willow and Giles all shared a look as you and Spike thudded against the walls as you walked along the corridors upstairs trying to find a room to slip into.

They all wondered how long it would last this time as you gave yourselves a very merry Christmas.

#Spike #Spike btvs #Spike x reader #Spike imagine #Spike x you #Buffy The Vampire Slayer #buffy the vampire slayer imagines #btvs #btvs x reader #btvs imagine #btvs x you #Christmas fic #12 days of christmas #12 Days of Xmas #female reader #female #x reader

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ziracona · 3 years

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hey zira, what are your hot takes on all of the fo4 companions?

Haha, I don’t know how hot they are, but I can give you a speed run! (Also I am very excited to get this. FO4 was the first open world game I ever played and just the concept of that and the hugeness of the world and branching story & sudden feeling changes towards me in companion characters totally blew my mind, & it still lives rent free in my heart).

Ada, Old Longfellow, and Strong I /still/ haven’t maxed despite having too many hundred hours to want to list on this game—the former bc they were DLC, Strong because honest to god I left him at a nice settlement and then completely forgot about him and remembering that I am the energy in this Ryan O’Flanagan video but abt leaving my super mutant in a tiny settlement alone. I will get there! To max affinity I mean. But anyway, I don’t truly know those three, so my takes are incomplete. So far though, I really like Ada. She is a good girl just trying her best. Fucks me up I can tell her to self destruct. Even though I feel sure she would ignore me, I cannot imagine ever saying that to her. It was really sweet she was willing to forgive the Mechanist and move on with her life. A good girl. Longfellow I am maxing rn (was last time I played anyhow). I enjoy him. Gruff grumpy old man but he seems quite decent and I like his idle banter and when he sings to himself a lot. Seems like he’s had it rough. Strong I liked. He’s wild, and I loved how insane meeting him was, and am worried about him eventually understanding poetry and how that might mess up his sense of world understanding. But he’s a chill dude in his own way and I am glad they gave us at least one nice super mutant.

For the companions I actually do know like the back of my hand, the speedrun:

Nick Valentine: Best man on earth. One of two fictional characters I ever called husband. I would die kill or live for him. I want to be 1/4th the man Nick Valentine is. One of the best characters ever period and I adore literally everything about him. It fucked me up early in game where right after he offered to basically risk destroying his mind to help a stranger look for her son, he asked me how I was doing. First character in the entire game to do that. His first companion dialogue is abt how you’re doing TuT. The man is very kind and forgiving and fair, but knows when the draw the line and take no shit. Emotionally mature, kind, caring, longsuffering. Incredibly damaged and broken by life, but holding on and living kindly and to help others anyway. One of the four most marryablen fictional men I’ve ever seen.

Preston Garvey: Brave, kind, sweet man. I would defend him with my life. He really just wants so bad to make the world better and life has been so hard, but he’s still trying. A beautiful and underrated companion and I would throw hands for him on sight. I adore how he whistles. A true and gentle and loyal friend. Take him to Quincy and let him get his justice it’s what he deserves. People who hate him because he tries to get help helping civilians in that game are weak. I love him so much... please give him enough time to reach max affinity he’s so worth it.

Deacon: *To the tune of You Are My Dad* You are my friiiiend! You’re my friend! (Boogie woogie woogie). Initially, he pissed me off bc he lies all the god damn time, but after we got close enough he actually trusted me, he stole my heart and I would also die for Deacon. He’s a really good person who thinks he’s shit because of who he was on his past. Also him 🤝 Preston: massive survivor’s guilt. They should be friends. Poor Deacon has been the last member of the Railroad like four times, and it’s awful. Help him. Give him love and support. He’s one of my all time faves. Also, Railroad hands down best faction and if you kill them for any reason other than like a walkthrough route video and I ever get the chance I would 100% clock you in the face as hard as I can, like going for losing teeth, and feel no guilt. I know it’s a game and that’s wrong, and I’d be wrong, but I’d still do it. Also, Ryan Alosio (his VA) saw me do cosplay for Deacon once and told me it was great and it filled me with even more love. Anyway Deacon is great. Also, his whole “There are other organisations out there. And, in time, I'm sure they're going to spoon-feed you their own patented form of bullshit. Ignore the verbage and look at what they're doing. What they're asking you to do. What sort of world they'd have you build and how they're going to pay for it.” Is one of the like, two most iconic quotes in all of FO4 & just super good in general.

Hancock: Hardcore badass man but also a good dude and a champion for the people. Man really puts his money where his mouth is and you gotta respect that; another favorite companion for sure. Big fan of the way he stabs a guy for you upon meeting, and is a cool leader who organized his crime and does a decent job actually leading. He works hard to help people and bites back hard. Social justice advocate, dangerous man about town, not afraid to cosplay a revolutionary war hero 24/7 & u gotta respect the no fucks given attitude. A chill dude. Like that he fights the institute, hates the Brotherhood, helps the Railroad, and is friends with Nick. He’s legit af. Also, his VA gives a different answer every time someone asks him about the voice he did for hancock and they’re funny af.

Piper Wright: A cool spunky lady. Lois Lane on the case, kicking butt, and taking name. She’s nice but also hardcore and smart, supportive, fun. A good person. You always get points if you like Nick (which most companions do), and they’re good friends. She’s funny and I love her. A good heart.

Codsworth: He’s great. He’s family. He’s like my...weird brother. Getting to max affinity is heartwarming and also makes my heart go :’-] . Great early-game companion bc he kicks ass and doesn’t need stims to heal. I love getting called by my name and think that was a great feature (well, my PC’s name). He’s a wonderful funky little robot dude and I am so glad he likes me.

Dogmeat: Amazing. A good boy. Doggo of the year. His actor deserved the game award she won. Cute, full of love, and plays with a teddy bear if you give him one. 100/10z

Cait: I like her a lot. She’s been through so much shit, and it makes sense she is how she is. I like they actually gave her an emaciated and messy (though still pretty) design, since she is a drug addict. And that they make her main quest about taking that seriously and wanting to get help, and that she’ll call out the player if they fuck around and do drugs in front of her after she gets rehabilitated. Her relationship to the PC if good is really sweet, and I am a fan. I like that while she’s not sympathetic to synths and thinks they aren’t people, she forgets that every time Nick walks into a room and is like “Oh hey Nicky : )”. She’s a good girl who has been through a lot and still needs time to heal and find herself, but she’s making great strides.

Robert Joseph MacCready: Human disaster (loving). Homeboy a goddamn /mess/ but I love him. He tries so hard to be cool. I love he makes you pay him to come with, then chickens out and gives it back lol. A fool ball of anxiety and bad decisions and what he thinks brovado is. I wish he, Preston, and Deacon would quit fighting, bc I am always like “ :’-] </3 Boys Please” when they swap out, but I love them just the same. He’s doing his best, he’s just stupid and a fool. Like Philip J Fry. Keeping his goddamn soldier toy, which somehow is listed as junk instead of sent to Misc with quest items where it would be fine, safe?parylizes me with fear. I’ve lost 2 hours of gameplay reloading an old save bc I accidentally lost it.

X6-88: A more complex one to answer about. He’s bad, but like, I’m pretty sympathetic to how he got that way. He was created in a lab and had his emotions mostly dragged out of him in intense psychologically damaging training so he would be a weapon and view himself as an object. I was relieved he chose me over the institute even if he wasn’t a fan of the chocie, and think that means there’s a lot of hope for him. Wish he’d chill the fuck out and quit intimidating civilians for 6 god damn seconds, but I like him. I bring him fancy lad snack cakes home from travels all the time, bc Synths are supposed to like them. Really like that he’s the /most/ sympathetic companion towards Danse in Blind Betrayal, even though he should not be programmed for that, and Danse hated him and made it clear any time they interacted.

(EDIT) Curie: I FORGOT HER BABY IM SO SORRY. I like Curie a lot, despite the fact I temporarily forgot she existed. I stg I thought she was in here. Uhhh, okay. Curie: like her character and personality, HUGE un-fan of both the way her desire to get a synth body is to be ‘more real,’ as if Codsworth isn’t a fully realized person while the same robot type she is, instead of just like. Because it would make her happy. ALSO hate how much of a Born Sexy Yesterday she is, even intentionally in not-determinate affinity talks. It’s gross. But her herself, I like a lot. She’s my daughter and I will protect her. She works at The Castle right now as their on-site medic.

Paladin Danse: I know I’m gonna take heat for this but honestly? He didn’t do much for me. I like that he looks and sounds kinda like Buzz Lightyear, and that’s fun, but idk at all why people think he’s so hot. He’s very boring & generic looking to me. Like you’re valid! Taste all be different. But he doesn’t do it for me personally in looks or personality. I don’t at all like, hate him. Or even dislike. Tbh I am fairly neutral on him. It was funny making affinity with him though. Every other companion I had maxed, I liked more and more with each affinity talk. They’d be like “So my dad was a minuteman and died and I want to honor him” or “I just want to really feel like I’m a person, for real, myself, and I am glad I met you, because the good we have achieved together is ours, even if I can’t be sure of anything else,” or “My brother threw the cultural minorities out of our city for clout bc the rich citizens were all racist, and I tried to help—I snuck them food to the unsafe ruins they set up in for weeks, but eventually, they just vanished, and I still bear immense guilt and self-hatred over not having stopped that.” And Danae’s would be like “One time a buddy of mine got kidnapped by super mutants. They turned him into one of them, and they’re all abominations, so I killed him and it made me really sad.” And I was just like “...Oh danse. I really wanted to like you more. But what the fuck.” His relationship to Haylen is sweet though. And ofc I saved him in Blind Betrayal. I blew up the Prydwin so he’s safe now too, and he lives in the garden by my house and tells me how glad he is we’re friends, and I’m p into that. Overall, my feelings on him are not strong at all though.

Porter Gage: Not a fan. Like, I appreciated he helped me kill the old boss, sure. And bc I owed him for that, I went to max affinity to see what there was to him as a person. And like, as far as raiders go, he was okay. But he wasn’t deeply sympathetic, and he’s a slaver, and if you try to liberate the slaves he and the others own, he /will/ turn on and attempt to murder you immediately, no matter how close you were, so he made his choice, and it was to be a bad person and an asshole to the last. Really enjoyed the VA’s work a lot on him tho.

And there you have it 👈👈😎. Thanks for asking!

#ask #anonymous #fallout 4 #fo4 #god I love them so much. I was really proud I kept all the OGs too. everyone but Gage. who had to go but it’s his own choice and fault 🤷🏻‍♀️#GOD far harbor was a good dlc. it’s like the main quest choice again but way more condensed and twice as f ked up. my poor MC had only #come to terms just before with all the lives she took & started healing #doing bad things she did not want to do & knew he would know about and think less of her for doing. but she did them. 😔 bc of course she did #then she had to choose between letting the dude she loved be hurt in a way he wouldn’t recover from & torpedoing her relationship to him by #she loves Nick and if it’s him or her it’s always gonna be her #I was SUFFERING. a lot. but I also loved it #don’t come into my inbox and clown about liking Danse please or Gage. idc at all #like you are welcome to your opinion I’m not gonna try to convince you /not/ to like him. plz do me the same courtesy & respect my right to #have an opinion u may not like

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surveys-at-your-service · 3 years

Text

Survey #390

“i am the enemy, here to save the day!”

When was the last time you woke up in the middle of the night? I do this LITERALLY every night. Do you write? (Songs, poems ect..) RP posts and rarely poetry. What is the easiest type of YouTube video to binge watch? Probably a good let's play of a game I'm really into. Do you color Easter eggs still? I haven't in years. I would if it was offered up, though. Do you prefer to decorate with pastel colors or bright colors for Easter? Pastelllll. Do you own a cross necklace? I did in the past, but I don't now. What color is your favorite pair of shorts? I don’t wear shorts. Do you prefer bright colors, dark colors, or pastel colors? Pastels. What’s something that makes you tired? Socializing. Like it's physically draining to me. Do you like drawing or painting better? Drawing. Do you own any foreign coins? No. Do you prefer soft tacos or hard? I hate tacos. Any recent purchases? My niece's birthday is coming up, so I bought her a Disney version of a board game from my childhood called "Pretty Pretty Princess." She's going to love it. :') Do you ever make mixed CD’s for anyone? I never did, no. Are you into gory movies? Yeah. Have you ever been locked in a room forcefully without anyone knowing? omg no Do you have the same color eyes as your mother? No. Do you know anyone who has overdosed? Me. Though I obviously didn't die. Have you ever been put to sleep for surgery? Twice. What is your favorite online smiley face to you? I think I use (: the most. What is something that freaks you out no matter what? Seeing babies move in their mother's stomach makes me want to shriek and vomit. Do you have any fetishes? No. Do you take a lot of photos? Sigh, not as much as I used to... I just don't know what to photograph anymore. Never leaving home doesn't help. Do you have big ears? No; I actually have very small ears, as has been pointed out to me. Do you have a laptop, desktop or both? A laptop. Have you ever met an online friend in real life? Yes! :') There are more I wanna meet. What would you say is your favorite color, out of them all? Baby pink. Have you ever attempted suicide? Yes. What are you most known for? In my real life, my art "skills." Online, probably my obsession with meerkats. Do you have a problem with body hair? Nope. The stigma of it needs to fucking stop. If you bathe yourself and keep your hair groomed, who the actual fuck cares what YOU do with YOUR body. Have you ever been so depressed, you were put on medication? I've been medicated for depression since the 7th grade. What is one thing you think is gross about the human body? Fluids like pus gross me out. Have you ever witnessed someone being murdered? Jesus, no. o_o At what age do you plan to get married? I'd like to as a young adult, but it's not that big a deal for me because I don't want kids (I wouldn't want kids 'til marriage if I did). Do you have any candles in your room? No, but a wax warmer. Ever make a friendship bracelet for someone? Yeah, as a kid. What have you been made fun of for the most? People love to pick on me always being on the computer, when I REALLY wish they fucking wouldn't. I'm aware it's an issue that I've had before I was even a teenager and it makes me SUPER self-conscious. When you’re visiting a site, do you still type ‘www.’? No; I kinda forgot that was a thing, lol. Can you still read the time if an analogue clock doesn’t have numbers on it? Yeah. To whom will/did you first talk about the first time you’ve had sex? My mom, I think. What is something you didn’t like about being thirteen? Acne lmaooo. What can you hear right now? "Girls" by Marina. It's really been jammed in my head lately. Do you think it’s okay for kids to have cellphones? Depends on the age and the phone, imo. I personally am for the idea of (slightly older) children having some sort of cell phone with limited applications, just because emergencies happen, and if I was a mom, I'd want my child to ALWAYS be able to reach me like if they were at a friend's or something. I'll tell you right now kids don't need extravagant iPhones, though. Again: limited applications, also to prevent addiction. Do you have any siblings? If so which one of them do you get along with the best? I have one brother and technically five sisters, but I know nothing of one of them. I don't really know who I get along with best...? I'm sadly not exceptionally close to any. What’s your favorite TV show? And who’s your favorite character from it? My favorite show of all time is Meerkat Manor, wherein my favorite character was Mozart. What kind of signs do you use when you pose for pictures? I usually don't make any, but I'll sometimes do a peace sign. What math subject is your favorite? Um, none? How about science? Genetics. Do you have a favorite Youtuber? If so, who? And what is your favorite video by them? Markiplier, obviously. :') Favorite video... I think it's gotta be the first video of the Dark route in "A Date With Markiplier." It's, uh, special to me lmfao. What’s your favourite Mexican dish? I just like quesadillas. Have you ever ordered a specially made cake from a cake shop? Yeah. Well I mean, Mom has. What’s the name of your first real boyfriend or girlfriend? Jason. Have you ever dated a model? No. What is your ultimate goal in life? To be happy and satisfied with what I've done. Have you ever visited someone in prison? No. What months were you and your siblings born in? I was born in February, my younger sister in April, and my older sister is a June baby. Do you write down your passwords in a physical place to prevent losing them? No. x_x Do you have any injuries at the moment? No. Are you tall, short or average? Would you change this? Average. Nah. Have you ever taken an acting class? No, not my thing. Have you ever worked in a store while someone shoplifted there? Yikes, no. Is there anything you absolutely refuse to eat? Venison. Basically anything hunted primarily for sport. If you killed something that did not need to be killed to provide for yourself, I'm not touching it. Have you ever lived in university/college campus housing? No. Who was the last person you complimented? I think my mom? She's doing great with her diet, and I can tell she's lost weight. Do you like spring rolls? Yeah, they're decent. What do you live on in terms of a street, road, crescent, place, court etc? Court. What’s your favourite type of curry? I don't know if I've ever tried any. Have you ever had casual sex? No. Not my jam. If your phone rang right now from a number you don’t know, would you answer? Nope. What was your first pet’s name and how did you pick that? My first personal pet was either my guinea pig Squeak or Chinese water dragon Shadow. I could NOT tell you why I named a green lizard "Shadow," but I called Squeak "Squeak" because he, well, squeaked, lol. How tall are your highest heels? Not high at all. What’s your favourite flavour of frosting? Chocolate. Last thing you looked up on Wikipedia? It was a band that needed a Wikipedia link to go on the Silent Hill wiki. Someone pointed out in trivia that Tears of Mankind covered a SH piece. Should guys keep their shirts on at shows? Unless there's a good reason, like you're seriously overheating, I think so. What about girls? The same as guys. I do think women should keep their bras on though mostly for their own protection because people are pigs. Do you have multiple playlists on YouTube? Yes. What is a goal that you have trouble accomplishing? Losing weight, apparently... What color is your Easter basket? I don't have one anymore. My childhood one was a light tan basket with a baby pink frill around it. What do you need to get from the store right now? Mom just got groceries the other day. What is something that you used to feel ashamed of, but now you don’t? I can't think of anything. EVERYTHING embarrasses me, so. What is your favorite part of growing older? Uhhhhhh. Are you hypersensitive? If so, in what ways are you hypersensitive? Yes, to textures in food. What’s a drug that’s made you gain weight? Paxil was the first, but I worked it all off and got in the best shape of my life. Then Abilify absolutely destroyed my body as far as my weight is concerned because my doctor was an absolute, utter fucking idiot that I will never forgive. Is there a piece of jewelry you have your eye on right now? No. Do you believe that people can be asexual? Bro the fuck, of course I do. What color is your Bible, if you have one? I don't have one. When are you at your happiest? When I first wake up and get on the computer. New day, same shit, but don't tell me that. :^) Do you prefer to spend your time indoors or outdoors? I mean, it really depends on my mood as well as the weather, but generally, indoors. Can you honestly say that you love yourself? Nope. Where did you go, the last time you left your house? My sister's house to celebrate her husband's birthday. Do you like your singing voice? Meh, it depends on the song I'm singing, but usually, no. Have you ever done a psychedelic drug? If not, would you ever consider it? No to both.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''brand new numb'' by motionless in white

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mysteriousmoonie · 4 years

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gaming club headcanons

i haven’t been on this funcking site forever and i haven’t posted any dumbass headcanons on the yandere simulator tag in forever. so much has happened?? my girl hanako has plot relevance in a different universe and my boi kencho is on a boat but whatever floats his boat---- *slapped* okay let’s talk about this instead :)))

read more because these are looooonggggg

gema taku: (look mom it’s me in four years!)

- it’s been established that he’s an asshole. and he is, don’t get me wrong. but i like to think gema genuinely wants some friends- just people who have the same interests as him. i think everybody can agree on that, he just takes it way too far.

- but that’s because gema is passionate about video games! his parents (but especially his grandparents on his mom’s side omg) have spoiled him, mainly giving him video games since they’re expensive and to them expensive = kids like it. that’s how he got his first gameboy color when he was only five. ever since he’s been addicted

- but now his parents are REALLY worried, they’re like ‘frick we fricked our kid up’ his grandparents are supportive as ever but that’s because he doesn’t live with them. if he ever moved in with them (and let’s be real, if he doesn’t get his life together soon he’ll have to!) they’d be as disappointed as his parents. but he doesn’t know how disappointed they are yet shhh

- he actually has a little brother who would be in like 5th grade if they were in america. (i dunno i’m dumb) his little brother doesn’t like spending time with him and gema doesn’t like spending time with his brother.

- while it’s true gema’s brother hates him and his brother is nowhere near as spoiled as gema, his brother still likes video games. they’ve 100% done the “mom said it’s my turn on the xbox” thing together, pretty much every day after school

- speaking of after school literally the only responsibility gema has is to pick up his brother; he forgets to do it half the time.

- his brother does martial arts as a hobby and gema is forced to go to his brother’s matches. he hates it and mainly plays video games like always,,, though sometimes he peeks up, gives his brother a thumbs up, then goes back to whatever he was doing. he’s a jerk but he can be sorta supportive

- honestly gema’s brother could take him down in a few seconds despite being half his size

- really popular on social media, has this whole persona and everything! only the gaming club members (and probs his brother too) knows about it but he’s mostly teased. secretly he kinda wishes he could be as popular on the internet as he is in real life (Same gema same, but i’m not popular anywhere lol)

- get this though! he doesn’t really have a crush on the bullies. he just wants to be friends with them so he can get popular. i think that’d be a good alternative so the fandom could not be pissed off about it (but i don’t really like it either don’t get it twisted fam)

- hoarding thousands of anime body pillows within his closet

- honestly his only friends are the guys in the gaming club but they don’t even 100% like him... actually, midori does! him and midori are really good friends and they genuinely like each other’s company. but gema will never admit that out loud.

- hates fureddo, considers him satan even though that guy is one of the nicest at school.

pippi osu: (when you play osu! and yandere simulator)

- obvious headcanon is obvious. she plays osu! a lot and is a champion at it.

- she’s seriously a sweet girl, but she’s really introverted and prefers to be alone most of the time. that’s how she got so good at video games, she dedicated her alone time to it and now she’s an e p i c g a m e r

- she’s really short, the shortest person in the gaming club. everybody considers her the baby of the group and she gets treated as such. that lowkey annoys her but she’s learned to live with it, and get those sweet sweet baby perks. because that’s a thing now.

- disaster bi!!! she likes girls and boys equally but is kinda shy when it comes to girls in real life. luckily ryuto exists, so it’s fine---

- was probably a furry in middle school. she’s still a fan of sonic boom and wears her bandana the way she does because of it.

- she works at the yandere simulator universe gamestop! it’s a really fun job for her. it’s how she met ryuto! he was buying a video game for a friend of his (not anyone in the gaming club because he didn’t know them at that point) and he saw the super cute cashier and his heart exploded. he died right at that moment and his body was taken to the morgue.

- she has a literal vodka aunt and loves her. she comes by often at the house because pippi’s parents work a lot, so her aunt watches over her! her aunt always brings a ridculous but fun gift with her and they have a lot of fun. once ryuto came over when pippi’s vodka aunt was over and since that woman was lowkey getting a bit drunk she ALMOST SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT PIPPI’S CRUSH ON HIM AND PIPPI WENT TO THE MORGUE

- owns a pet cat named ozzy. (yeah i’m going all out with the references)

ryuto ippongo: (is it THAT DUDE?)

- no, it’s not that dude. he’s awkward as hell and doesn’t even really like video games that much. but it seems like everyone around him does, so he pretends he does. especially for pippi! because oh my GOSH that girl is cute though!!! he knows it and wants to date her really badly but he’s socially anxious and can’t bare to ask her out. yet

- he loves his parents and all, but he’s constantly lying to them saying he’s studying, even though he’s playing video games and “subtly flirting” with a cute girl. (him lying to his parents is actually canon i think)

- honestly the only the only expectation his parents have for him is to get good grades. that’s all they really care about, but they still do love ryuto. he just kinda feels like that’s all they care about sometimes, since they ask about it often and it gets on his nerves

- as you can see ryuto just wants to fit in. he’s never really been part of a distinct crowd before, and it always made him feel different compared to his peers. but once he got into the gaming club he was a lot happier! though, he still doesn’t like how he has to lie to everyone. he really wishes he could just be honest.

- he’s actually dyslexic, but he was worked with at a young age so he can read good enough. he still feels more pressure because of this, though. he keeps this secret from everyone in the gaming club, especially pippi, in fear of being made fun of.

midori gurin: (MY FAVORITE)

- Has ADHD

- Even though she cannot focus whatsoever, her positivity is contagious, and so is her smile. Basically everybody lights up when she walks in the room. However, she has been bullied because of her hyperactivity. Though Midori will stand up for herself, and she takes shit from nobody. Please don’t make Midori mad. She will take you downtown, and she can hold some pretty mean grudges too. (At least, sometimes.)

- Very forgetful, and that’s why she asks so many questions all the time.

- She loves Pokemon! Midori is very passionate about it, and her favorite Pokemon is Magearna. (She’s got thousands of Pokemon plushies)

- Her family is rich, she’s an only child, and she’s somewhat spoiled. She always has the latest technology, ESPECIALLY the newest phone models. i read on the wiki that yanderedev said midori’s parents are likely VERY cumb but personally i don’t agree and that’s why i make headcanons, to go against authority :)))

- Wants to become a videogame designer, though she doesn’t have the patience to become one tbh. she thinks it’s easy but when she tries to do it she cries after like, 10 minutes because she can’t code.

- Midori is friends with gema because she knew he needed a real friend, so she’s always there for him!.

- Has a bunch of different accounts for different websites; barely uses them. She is a VERY fast texter, but sometimes gets so excited during texting that misspells words or accidentally ends up spamming the other person she’s texting.

- Is currently secretly dating kaga kusha,,,, OKAY LISTEN! i know the uh, reason why most people ship them... but for my own sake i’m gonna say that’s not canon at all (i hope it’s not) and i’m gonna ship them because the iconic dumb and proud + smart and crazy couple is iconic, at least to me

- Her movements are quick and jerky.

- Whenever she's happy she hums her favorite songs and dances around everywhere.

mai waifu: (cutie!!!)

- she’s trans and she’s openly out! i’m pretty sure that’s been said everywhere but i like that headcanon so ya know... even if that wouldn’t really work in japan... let’s ignore that!

- the bullies like to target her for obvious reasons, but she’s learned to ignore them for the most part, and focus on her friends and supporters.

- she is the one that has given the gaming club that whole “otaku” vibe. sure, the others like anime but her!!!! oh her!!!!! she takes it to the extreme. it’s in her nickname, her aesthetic, everything.

- speaking of aesthetic she has an aesthetic tumblr blog

- she has social anxiety, so she doesn’t have too many friends... but lots of guys (and girls too tbh) have huge crushes on her because she’s just so cute.

- her best friend is pippi! they play video games, watch anime, have plenty of sleepovers and they play with ozzy! it’s a lot of fun. mai is one of the only people who know of pippi’s crush on ryuto and she is pippi’s wing woman.

- while she’s really good in domestic type of situations (she’s really close to her mom) she can’t really draw. at all. but she still likes it! most of her drawings are crappy looking anime characters, but she tries lol.

k i’m done. expect something on kencho (probably idk) in the future because i love to destroy the yandere simulator tag by being on it

#yandere simulator #yandere sim #yandere simulator headcanons #gema taku #mai waifu #midori gurin #pippi osu #ryuto ippongo #yandere sim headcanons

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do-you-have-a-flag · 5 years

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straight up though.... the rise of radicalisation by fringe groups of young people is definitely in part due to how old media tried to capitalism so hard people stopped watching tv and now most people get entertainment online and youtube is the lowest price barrier for entry and is essentially un-regulated like....

i’m not a fan of censorship either but things like content regulation, programming restrictions based on audiences, and time based scheduling would mean at the very least benign content directed at kids and that things would get boring enough after a certain hour that it would take effort to ruin your sleep schedule

I grew up with the internet i KNOW how addictive it is, i love the creative freedoms it brings too

but there is a reason beyond advertising money why people did so much research into how media effects children, games and books and films and shows are incredible influences and having some sort of guidelines or percentage of educational/positive media mixed in with light entertainment/heavier content is a good thing

every time i view youtube’s top videos page or venture onto the site without logging in i’m reminded that the algorithmically supported and most clicked on content is essentially the same as magazine trash that has been published since forever

some of it is pretty gross but ultimately harmless

a lot of it is actively harmful to kids with no critical analysis capabilities

a lot of it is essentially teens and twenty somethings talking to teens and children without any kind of oversight to ensure they aren’t passing on harmful messages or creating addictive shallow content

and then there’s the pipeline of edgy humour that gets co-opted by shitty shitty bigots ect and because it’s memes any counter-concerns from a place of sincerity is easily dismissed for missing the point or taking jokes too seriously and the poisonous ideas are smuggled in under irony

like i enjoy trashy content and have always enjoyed the thrill of online subcultures but i always always balances shallow enjoyments with a genuine enthusiasm for learning new things and consuming interesting or difficult media and I KNOW kids and teens can have so much fun with content not aimed at them that they are so so clever

but everyone is vulnerable to cultural junk food and it takes active engagement from parents and educators and peers to help kids and teens learn how to curate their own interests

tl;dr: if all you watch are cringe comps and drama vids your brain is living off the equivalent of greasy mcdonalds fries except instead of government health and safety rules making sure they use real potatoes sometimes you end up eating toxic waste.... so learn how to read the ingredients and maybe look up some cool recipes sometimes... gourmet media 4 ur mind.... david attenborough is telling u about a weird lizard and your brain is getting dem nutrients.......

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derekklenadaily · 4 years

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Dani’s review/synopsis of the first preview of “Jagged Little Pill” on Broadway!

I had the privilege to go to New York City to see Derek’s first preview “Jagged Little Pill” this past Sunday. While growing up back in the early ‘90s, Alanis Morrisette was definitely one of the most known artists in that era, I do remember hearing her music on the radio all time and even sang along to her tunes with my mother in the car. So, when I saw the news that her music was going to be made into a musical, I was very excited. When I saw this musical last summer in Cambridge, MA during their out-of-town run, and my mind was pretty much blown. Before I go any further, sexual assault is mentioned in this review and very slight spoilers is also present.

Despite the changes for the first preview for the Broadway run, I got to say this musical is more than I ever thought it would be. The opening number just takes the audience by surprise with their exhilarating dancing and them singing fiercely but so passionately. We could feel such a big electric/energy charge in between us audience and the people on stage. It was like being an awesome rock concert, really. Then the music goes softer as we see the family of four comes up to the stage.

Elizabeth Stanley who plays Mary Jane Healy who plays the mother of Nick and Frankie and a wife of Steve Healy. In the show, Mary Jane is an all star-kind of mother who supports her kids at various things such as sports and school. But outside of that world, she currently is struggling with drug addiction due after having a car accident earlier that year. At the same time, she has difficult relationship with her husband Steve who has been away from the family most of the time and hasn’t had a great sexual relationship with him ever since the car accident incident. Elizabeth is absolutely beyond brilliant in this show. She has a great comedic timing especially the scenes with the family. Her acting and singing is definitely out of this world. I think the last scene (“Forgiven”) before intermission still got me shaking in the boots, because it was so incredibly beautiful, tragic and damn powerful at the same time, especially having numerous voices from the cast blending with hers as they stood behind. I’m definitely certain that the judges for any kind of theater awards will look into that scene and mark her as Best Actress in a Musical. She deserves to get it. I got to say her and Sean Allan Krill’s chemistry was absolutely perfect to form this tragic and destructive husband and wife relationship. They would start as tense - not wanting to touch each other and then lying behind each other back’s (her addiction with pills and him with pornography). Suddenly, Elizabeth and Sean went out of the box even more at one point - I thought they would end their characters’ marriage and slam it with divorce right there in the show. It was absolutely incredible.

Sean Allan Krill who plays the father of Nick and Frankie, also a husband of Mary Jane. He’s business man who travels and works in his office most of the time. He doesn’t have a very good relationship with Mary Jane because they hadn’t had any sex over a year. So, to feed that sexual drive - he goes on porn sites and becomes addicted with it. Like what I said in the paragraph before, he and Elizabeth has an amazing chemistry. There’s one scene that Sean does it so amazing when he sings “Mary Jane” in Act Two. It’s absolutely heart-wrenching that we can’t help feeling sorry for him and seeing him trying to mend his relationship with her after all that mess they went through.

There are some hidden secrets and devastating moments that each character cannot escape from, whether it’s sexual assault, drug-addiction, and sex addiction. Especially comes to Derek’s character, Nick - who is the good and golden boy who gets all the accolades and praises for his schoolwork and his sportsmanship. But that bubble suddenly bursts when one of his best friends gets accused of sexual assault by Bella (a classmate that Nick has known since sixth grade). Nick faces such a tremendous difficult decision on what to do and how he get through it without getting a scratch off his record. The songs he sings, “Perfect” was jaw-dropping and absolutely heart-wrenching, really. It shows that he is being pressurized by his parents, after being accepted to Harvard and how he is treated like as a hometown hero. “Wake Up” in Act One was absolutely incredible because it shows the depth of his feelings and being pressurized to speak up about what happened that night. As I watched Derek in the first preview, I found his character a bit more sympathetic than the Cambridge run. I definitely think that he has improved so much with his craft and his work after “Anastasia” and doing countless rehearsals with this show.

Kathyrn Gallagher who plays Bella, she is absolutely amazing in this role. After her countless researching and watching documentaries of sexual assaults and hearing several survivors’ stories, she definitely put her feet in their shoes to tell their stories on stage. It may be a really difficult and enormous thing to do, but she does it with a tremendous job. There is this scene where Kathryn sings “Predator” is absolutely devastating and heartbreaking but at the same time, it’s so beautiful because there is a dancer named Annelise Baker who interprets Bella’s character on that night. As Kathryn sings this number, she watches herself to unfold to a beautiful human being from into a complete shattered person. I got to give major kudos to Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui who is the choreographer (you may know his work in Beyoncé's music video). Every single dancing movement in the show is absolutely thrilling and exciting all at once. Also, we see several scenes that relates and mirrors her and Elizabeth’s character especially “Uninvited”. Near at the end of the show, Kathryn’s brilliant and such a strong number “No” with Derek and Celia along with the ensembles, it spreads various but incredibly important messages to speak up.

Celia Gooding who plays Frankie - Nick’s sister and a daughter of Mary Jane and Steve Healy. Frankie goes through several difficult situations in this play; one - she was adopted by Mary Jane and Steve when she was an infant and is the only black member in the family. So, she feels bit out of place especially dealing with Mary Jane who doesn’t grasp the idea of Frankie’s identity. Two, she tries to explores with her relationship in between Jo and Phoenix throughout the show and sees where and which her status falls in place. Celia is definitely bold and so much fierce as heck! She brings it all down when she sings “All I Really Want” with Elizabeth Stanley, “Hand in My Pocket” with Lauren Patten and then her solo piece “Unprodigal Daughter”. Her chemistry with Lauren is awesome because you can see how much they complement each other, it’s all very fun and playful. Her chemistry with Antonio was very cute and flirtatious. Lastly, her chemistry with Elizabeth Stanley was incredible because it showed that they had a tough mother-daughter relationship like Elizabeth had this wall up, blocking everything out and Celia tries to take it down by doing such ferocious, daring and bold things. Towards at the end of the show, something tragically happens in the family - we see the wall in between them shift and eventually come down for good.

Antonio Cipriano who plays Phoenix, who is Frankie’s classmate and befriends her. Throughout the show, we see how their relationship develops. Antonio who was the finalist for the Jimmy Award. He is extremely talented and absolutely brilliant in this production. He’s great comedic timing and has a wonderful chemistry with Celia Gooding. I absolutely love when they sing “Head Over Feet”. It was really cute! I’d love if he had a solo piece in this show because his singing voice is absolutely terrific. I’m so happy that he made his debut on Broadway which he deserves, along with this incredible cast.

Lauren Patten who plays Jo, who is Frankie’s best friend but also with benefits kind of relationship with Frankie. Like I said in Celia’s paragraph, Lauren has a wonderful chemistry with her. They bounce each other off so incredibly well that they have so much fun onstage and even off stage. And I must say holy crap, Lauren is awesome - I can’t decide which will they give a Tony Award for Best Supporting Actress in A Musical? Celia or Kathryn? Can’t they call it a tie so they can give it to all three of them? In Act Two - she really gave her all and energy which brought the whole house down when singing “You Oughta Know” that we rose on our feet to give her a standing ovation as the song ended. It was so damn powerful. Holy sheeeetz!

Also, I cannot forget everyone in ensemble - they really bring this show alive and go way above the level of energy and perfection. Seriously, this show wouldn’t work without them - their amazing dance and outstanding singing performances, including even them doing the smallest things in the background in several scenes, they did stellar job to bring elevate the show to go where it needs to go.

I want to say “Jagged Little Pill” is one amazing show. Much as I love RENT the Musical but I dare to say that it’s so much better than RENT. It is even more thrilling after watching back in Cambridge last summer. It involves with lot of diversity dealing with gender identity and the important messages that we see in the news almost every day such as sexual harassment and many other things that are happening in today’s world. It definitely needs to be heard. Diablo Cody’s (won Academy Award Winner for Best Screenplay for “Juno”) outstanding writing and Alanis Morrisette’s music just blends it together so beautifully to create this musical and put it onstage in front of us. From the choreography, the sets, the lights and costumes, and everything in this show - including the cast, I highly believe they will have major success on Broadway for sure. It’s a possible chance that they will make it to award season maybe next year. Seriously, this show is not to miss, please do go see it. It will be worth it!

#Derek Klena #Elizabeth Stanley #Sean Allan Krill #Kathryn Gallagher #Celia Gooding #Antonio Cipranio #Lauren Patten #Jagged Little Pill Cast #Jagged Little Pill #Jagged Little Pill review/synopsis #previews #txt #danI**

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aloneandunreal · 4 years

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july 6, 20

i’m surprised it’s already july. for some reason time is flying, even though i haven’t been doing anything and have been bored to death. but hello, here i am with another entry although nobody reads them. which, again, is fine. this blog is for me and me only, but if others want to follow me, that’s okay too of course.

last time i wrote about feeling sad about friendships and social anxiety and overall just regrets i have about myself and my life. i am here again, i believe, to do the exact same thing. i’m not as sad as i was last time, but honestly i always have this weird sadness to me.

any who, i’ve been thinking about my online friendships a lot lately. with someone in particular, to be more specific. i’ve had online friends for my entire life. i was always on the computer or on texting apps like kik and facetime talking to people who i didn’t even know in real life. some of these online friends were a fun time. there was this one girl i knew from a virtual game called ‘outworld’ and we met when i was about 9 or 10. we stayed friends for an incredibly long time, and she was the one who introduced me to ‘emo’ music, and got me more into it. sometimes she wasn’t the best friend, but you can’t expect too much from online friends... they’re online, after all. i haven’t spoken to her since, probably 2016 and i believe she graduated this year. it’s weird thinking about that since i knew her ever since she was 10/11. i doubt we’ll ever come in contact again, but i think of her from time to time, even though she most likely does not think of me. maybe she doesn’t even remember me. i always seem to be caught up on people and things in the past... people who don’t think of me ever.

nonetheless, i’ve had plenty of online friends throughout the years. the time i had a bunch of online friends was probably when i was 12/13. there were a decent amount of people and i wonder what they’re doing now. there was this one kid i was friends with who i talked to mostly on facetime (though we never actually FaceTimed, just chatted). i remember when i went on vacation to north carolina that summer, when everyone was asleep, i’d stay up texting him for hours, even though i was tired. our friendship faded a bit after that. we talked on Instagram from time to time, but now we don’t talk at all. i honestly don’t really like him as a person anymore; his views don’t align with mine. doesn’t matter though, it’s not like we’ll be speaking again. he also graduated this year.

another “friend” i had was this guy who might be a bit tough to talk about. i was around twelve/thirteen when i met him, and he was eighteen/nineteen. we both liked similar music and he was a nice guy to talk to. we played iMessage games and FaceTimed from time to time. the thing was, i was hardly a teen. and he was over eighteen. why was he interested in talking to someone my age? at the time, that didn’t bother me, but now it does. our friendship was fun for the first few months, until he started to get vaguely sexual with me. he asked me to call him “daddy”, and when i laughed at him, he played it off as a joke at first. then was the time when he told me he had something important to tell me. he was addicted to p*rn. which... why the hell would he tell me that? this made me slightly uncomfortable but i went along with it. then was the huge instance, the one that finally made me cut ties with him. i’d been complaining about not having much money, and wished i could buy stuff online. he proposed the idea to me that, if i sent him videos or pictures of myself with hardly any clothes on, or very revealing clothes, he’d pay me. i actually contemplated this. but thank god i said no. i remember texting the girl who i mentioned above, and told her about him. she was like “what the fuck, block him” and so i did. blocked him on everything. that was the last time we spoke, and i remember he tried contacting me before giving up. it’s still scary how i thought this man was a “friend” when in reality it was just grooming. just because it was online doesn’t make in any less disgusting. it makes me sad thinking of it, and even worse sometimes when i kind of wish i could text him again. it’s not like i didn’t enjoy his company and texts; i did. i liked talking to him. but obviously when he asked for nudes that made me so uncomfortable for me. it makes me mad at myself for thinking like that, but thankfully i don’t do that anymore. there were other times that he said weird things like, “do you squeeze your boobs when you’re naked?” and i was like “ew no” as any thirteen year old girl would reply. i remember he said something along the lines of, “you will when you get older”. there was also this time when we were snap chatting and he sent me a picture of him smiling, with a girl in the background who he was FaceTiming. she looked the same age as me. he said he was chatting to “another one of his friends” but obviously this was just another girl he was grooming just as he did me. i of course have not spoken to him since, and never will. it’s incredibly disgusting, especially since i was hardly thirteen. which he KNEW. eighteen/nineteen wasn’t as bad as if he was like, thirty or something, but it still wasn’t right. this honestly was a big moment in my life, and i think of it from time to time. i feel so bad for some thirteen year old girl going through the same thing right now, thinking this grown man is her “friend” and “understands her”, but there’s nothing i can do about it. i guess this was just one of the many life lessons i had to experience, though i wish i hadn’t been exposed to it the way i had.

i had other online friends around the same age as this man, probably people who i shouldn’t have been talking to at that age. there was this one guy in specific who, though our friendship didn’t last for long, stuck with me for some reason. i met him on a virtual world, and he was some twenty-something guy who loved metal/emo music. i did as well at the time, so we bonded over that, and would go on this site called rabb.it (i think that’s what it was called) to share music and talk. we also talked on FaceTime (but never actually FaceTimed). he didn’t know my age, so i guess he assumed i was older than i actually was. i remember he told me he was so suicidal and wanted help, so i told him he should try and get help, which he did at one point. this is so weird to think about now; this man really took advice from a thirteen year old girl. was talking to a thirteen year old girl, even though he didn’t realize it. our “friendship” is kind of hazy, and i don’t remember much of it, but it wasn’t long-lasting or anything like some of the others. i hope he is doing at least somewhat okay now. i don’t know why i am thinking of him.

but yes, there were manyyy different online friends i had. i smile and think about our friendships sometimes, and how some of them seriously had impacted my life, even though they were just online. more recently i guess (three years ago isn’t recently but it’s more recent than any of these other people i’ve been talking about) i met another online friend. she impacted my life as well, and we were so close that we considered each other best friends and said “i love you” so easily. we bonded over music, which is how we became friends in the first place. we began to lose touch in my sophomore year of high school, and really didn’t talk much at all my junior year. i remember messaging her a few days after her birthday, apologizing profusely because i’d missed it, and also writing a large paragraph saying i still appreciated her and hoped we could talk more in the future. she left me on seen, which i was upset about at first. i wondered if she was mad at me? after much contemplation, i messaged her again, and she apologized, saying she forgot to reply. i don’t know if this was true or not but in the moment i didn’t care. we chatted, and it was just so easy to talk with her. i missed it. our conversations went so smoothly, i felt like i could tell her anything. we didn’t talk too much after this. the only reason i’m mentioning this is because i messaged her once again on some online site, and she replied once, but then not again. either she forgot about it or was just ignoring me, which i was really upset about for some reason. i don’t want to message her again, that’s just plain annoying. she wished me happy birthday, but made me no playlist, even though she did every year before that. i know we’re not good friends anymore, but i expected a bit more, considering i made her a playlist. i’m just sad about our friendship, and with her. i’ve been trying so hard to start talking to her again, but she only comes through once in a blue moon. which is hard. i feel i’m the only one putting in effort; trying to start conversation and all. she still posts, even though my message is left unanswered. one thing she posted was something about “wanting to have a real conversation with somebody” ... wasn’t i? and she also said something like “back a few years ago i had hardly any friends on this site, but now i do :)” which hurt a bit since i thought i was at least kind of special to her. i guess not. i don’t know why i expect(ed) more, she’s an online friend after all. i just wish i could talk to her again, but at the same time wish she would be the one who messaged me first/put in effort. i don’t exactly know where our friendship is going to go. probably no where, even though i’ve tried so hard to pick it up again. i know our friendship won’t be the same as it was all those years ago, but i at least want to become better friends, and chat more, even if it’s not every day like we used to. it just hurts a bit, knowing it won’t be the same. even though i feel i’m trying so hard. i wonder if she just.. doesn’t like me? it just sucks. i don’t know what’s going to happen with us. and the funny thing is, she’s probably not worrying about this at all, probably doesn’t even care if we speak again or not. probably never thinks of me. but then look at me, thinking of her. i hate it. i probably mentioned this in my last entry, but i hate putting in so much effort and not getting the same or at least somewhat of the same amount of effort back. it’s hard knowing i’m not the #1 in someone’s life. knowing i’m nothing special to any friend - online or not - that hurts.

again, i don’t know why i am always thinking of these online friends from the past. i mean nothing to them. but for some reason i always think back on them, smiling at the memories we had, but then frowning realizing the very last time i talked to them was almost five years ago.

as for real life friends, i already spoke about that in my last entry. but one friend i thought about recently was this girl who i once called my best friend. i don’t want to get into the specifics, considering i’ve probably already spoken about her. but, originally, i did not miss her. but now for some reason i do. i’m looking at snapchat memories, seeing photos of us smiling and joking around. that was one of the last times i had a “best friend” and friend group. i don’t miss her that much, considering she was quite toxic. but we did have some good times together, i’m not going to deny that.

another thing i’ve been thinking about recently is the fact that there’s been a few people who were interested in being friends with me, but i either pushed them away because i was focused on someone else, i was oblivious, or because i just wasn’t interested. there have been a few instances of that. first one being this girl in my ninth grade English class. she obviously wanted to be friends with me, and even said “hey i think we should hang out outside of school!” but i was too dumb and was concentrating on being friends with some other girl i thought was cool, so that never happened. we were always friendly in english, but never more than that. i saw her this year i believe in the bathroom and she smiled at me. it was over two years ago that we were in english together, and i doubt she wants to be friends. it’s was just such a missed opportunity. i became friends with the girl who i was preoccupied with at the time, but now she’s gone too. karma for me i guess?

another person was this guy who i was friendly with in eighth grade. he texted me a decent amount that summer (before ninth grade), but upon seeing him in real life, he just... pretended he didn’t know me? his friends kept saying he had a crush on me, and that i should say something, even though i didn’t have romantic feelings for him at all. he was the one with the crush, he should be approaching me. it was a bit weird to me, especially when he digitally drew multiple photos of me, even though i never asked. his friends continued to say he had a crush on me, which i now kind of believed but wasn’t going to “make a move” because i wasn’t into him (he didn’t even talk to me in real life!) apparently, his friends made this cruel joke that he had a crush on me. i guess it was more to make him embarrassed, but for me it was quite embarrassing too. i thought this guy liked me, but i guess it was just a joke to them. i still wonder if maybe he DID have a crush on me, but his friends said it was a joke? i don’t know, it’s confusing. he continued to talk to me a bit (texting, of course), but we didn’t talk much throughout my sophomore year and not at all my junior year. he probably has lost feelings by now, if he had any in the first place, that is. but now for some reason i kind of wish we talked more, even if it wasn’t romantically. just in a friendly type of way. doubt he wants that, though. it’s such a confusing, immature thing that happened, but i just wanted to mention it since lately i’ve been feeling like i might’ve missed out on something.

speaking of ninth grade, i can’t believe this year is my last. it’s not going to be a normal year, as i well know. because of corona and all. but nonetheless it’s weird thinking that it’s all going to be over. i think about freshman year a lot, considering how terrible and depressed i was that year. at the same time, though, i had some very... interesting, to say the least, experiences. and now next year will be my last. time seriously flew. i wonder if my teachers from freshman year now, what they’d think. i remember being terrified of my english teacher for some reason, but i genuinely loved his class, even though i struggled because of how depressed i was. i don’t think he loved me or anything, but he definitely must have thought i was an interesting person. for some reason i always bring myself back to that class. back with that girl who once wanted to be my friend, fooling around, but also sleeping on my desk sometimes. i still am kind of intimidated by him for some reason, and don’t even know why i’m talking about his class. i guess because it was one of the more interesting english classes i’ve had so far in middle school AND high school. i remember specifically, in the last couple of weeks of my freshman year, seeing this one kid, a senior, come in and ask my english teacher for his autograph in the year book. i realized one day that might be me. for some reason, ever since, i’ve been waiting for the moment to ask him, even though i’m so intimidated by him. and even though he didn't even really like me. it’s so weird, and i don’t know why i feel this way. but oh well, with corona right now, it doesn’t look like i’m going to be having a regular school year. but yeah, i can’t believe it’s really almost over. i still have a whole year of course, which i’m still terrified of even though it’s my last year and i’m “at the top.” i’m just terrified of college and the real world. i want to get out of this town and become a new person, but how? the person i am now could likely never survive in the real world.

anyway, this is getting long, and it’s basically just been me rambling about things i regret and other really random specifics that i’ve been thinking about / have been sad about lately. i never really understood why i’m like this; so nostalgic and sentimental about every little thing, even if it was a bad time in my life. i guess this quarantine has just left me a lot of time to think and contemplate about my life, school isn’t here to distract me anymore from the future and from my insecurities and fears. not that it totally distracted me; but at least it was something i could do that wasn’t being stuck in my own brain. i know i said i’m making this blog to vent and also for my older self to read. if older ava ever reads this, which i doubt she will since it’s so long, well hi. i hope you’re different now. what’s the world like? what happened after high school? did the world end (well, you can’t really answer that, can you?). and remember in seventh grade when you wrote that letter to your sister asking questions about the future? and the type of person you turned out to be? i can answer most of those questions now. i guess that’s what i’m doing now - writing stuff about my current life so my future self can see it. maybe i’ll make a more private letter at some point, not on tumblr. but for now this is what i have. i actually wrote this email to myself that’s supposed to be delivered in five years. i wonder where i’ll be at. it’s scary, but also kind of exciting. in a few years from now, you’ll be reading this entry, or reading something i’ve written. i wonder what you will think. i hope things are different. i hope you’re not this sad, isolated girl. i hope you can do better. but i also remember saying the same thing in the letter i wrote in seventh grade, and the same damn thing ended up happening. still the same, sad girl i was then, except maybe worse. anyway, as i said at the beginning of the paragraph, this is getting incredibly long. i talked about a bunch of randomness in this entry. most of it was stupid, but i can’t help what i feel sad about.

well, that’s all for now. see ya next time, in my next entry. and future ava, if you’re reading this, hi i guess. for some reason, at the end of this entry, i guess it turned into a letter to my future self. and this is also incredibly random but i’m sorry high school didn’t go how you wanted it to go. i hope that you lived out some of your high school dreams in college. or maybe you’ll never see this, because the world will end. maybe you will see this, though. please do something for yourself, future me, that the person i am now would want you to do. bye for now.

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until-theend-oftheline · 5 years

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Love Sets You Free

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Warnings: Temporary character deaths (blame Thanos), PTSD, long-distance relationship. Not as bad as it sounds.

Square(s) Filled: Photographer AU for @marvelfluffbingo - Free Space for @star-spangled-bingo and Laughing During Sex for my happystevebingo card (overdue but still gonna finish it)

Word Count: 1600ish

A/N: This is written for @tropicalcap songfic challenge and my prompt was Avett Brothers - If It’s the Beaches - I love this song and I had tons of fun coming up with something that fell in line with the song but still felt true to Steve.

Betaed by: @jewels2876 - thank you so much for your help Jules.

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Y/N was everything Steve never knew he wanted and nothing like he had ever imagined all at the same time. She was wild and free, drifting in and out of town as her assignments began and ended. She loved her job as a wildlife photographer and her life on the road. She was free-spirited and bubbly, reawakening the rebellious young man in Steve he thought he had long forgotten.

When she was around everything felt easier. When he was around her, he knew there were no expectations. There was no image he had to be aware of upholding with her. She didn’t see Captain Rogers. She just saw Steve and with her, he remembered who he had once been.

It wasn’t that he was pretending to be someone else. He wasn't and he never would. The responsibilities had just somehow taken over his life and he had forgotten the stubborn, playful kid he had been. She challenged him in ways no one really had. Not since he had lost Bucky at least.

She saw what laid beneath the mantle he had taken on, just like his best friend had seen the kid behind the diseases that had plagued him them. Bucky hadn’t bubble wrapped him. He had treated him as his equal and Y/N never once treated him as a stoic man or a celebrity to gush about. He was just Steve to her.

She enjoyed pushing his buttons, dancing in the rain as he told her she would get sick. Somehow her laughter and carefree ways always made him forget all reason and of course, he ended up soaking wet as he spun her around, laughing as the rain came crashing down on them.

She kissed him freely when she felt like it, no matter who might be looking. She laughed giving his hand a squeeze when he blushed. The twinkle and adoration in her eyes would always make him forget the laughter or whistles of his friends or bypassers that recognized the blushing symbol of their country. There was only her each time he pulled her back into her arms, kissing her back with all the love he held for her.

Her touch set his soul and body on fire as she fell into bed with him. Steve had always taken relationships seriously, even though he had barely ever had any. That’s how he had come to view them. He would have thought that a girl laughing during sex would have been a turn-off. Maybe because a part of him would have thought she would be laughing at him. Years of girls looking at you a certain way is hard to shake even if their gazes were very different now.

Y/N never laughed at him though. She laughed with him as both of them struggled with their remaining clothes or just to fit his rather large frame into her small bed without rolling off it. She made it fun and yet somehow the experience was never less powerful or intimate in spite of their giggling and fits of laughter. It was freeing and filled with love. It was wild and passionate, just like their relationship. Y/N brought things out in Steve he missed when she was gone.

That was the thing with Y/N. She couldn’t be tied down or held back. Steve never doubted her love. He knew that no matter how much it hurt saying goodbye to her, either when she left on another assignment or went on a trip with her friends to some exotic part of the world she had been dying to see, he knew that she would always return to him.

Steve knew that if he had asked her she would have stayed, but a part of her soul would die a little as the experiences that she could have lived passed her by. Y/N wasn’t made to be tied down and Steve loved her too much to try.

When everything with the accords and Bucky had happened, she had been away. He hadn't gotten to say goodbye to her and yet she still found him. She had shown up in Wakanda being led in by the Dora Milaje to stand before the King. She had been arguing with him as Steve entered the room. Sam had gotten wind of her arrival and had called Steve before her feisty temper and insisting to see Captain Rogers would land her in the dungeons.

T’Challa had been more than a little amused by the young woman before him. He got the feeling that she was telling the truth but he couldn’t be sure before Steve confirmed her story himself. As soon as he did, T’challa had with one nod ordered General Okoye to release her and within seconds Y/N’s arms were wrapped around Steve’s neck, kissing him as if they were the only people in the room.

Steve had tried to get her to leave Wakanda after the initial rush of seeing her again had worn off. She had refused, insisting she was safe under the King’s protection which was the truth. She told Steve there was more than enough adventure for her in this place, filled with beauty and marvels. She could wait for the world to get their heads out of their asses and realize they needed him.

So their roles reversed. Steve left, gathering up alien weapons that kept showing up on earth. Leading missions and keeping the world safe, even if had rejected him. Y/N stayed taking care of Bucky, learning the ways of Wakanda and taking as many photos as the locals allowed her.

She seemed happy as she roamed the place, telling Steve of all she had experienced as he returned to her, tired and battle weary. Her light shun so brightly it kept him alive too. The world might have turned their back on him, but that didn't mean Steve was ready to turn his back on them. He had all he needed right here. Friends, family, and love.

That was until Thanos’ attack and half of the world disappeared, along with Sam, Bucky, and Y/N. Steve was lost and angry at himself. He wasn’t giving up. He was going to get them back or die trying. Luckily his plan worked and the world and everyone eventually returned to normal.

The experience stayed with Steve though and after a year he still didn’t feel fully like himself. Y/N stayed by his side, knowing that he needed her too. She saw the emptiness in his soul and how the job he once thought he needed had become a burden to him. She stayed silent, knowing he needed time. Right up until she couldn’t anymore.

“Steve…” she approached him carefully as he stood in the bathroom, stripping off his uniform, preparing for the night. “I got an offer…”

She watched his shoulders tense with the words, which he knew had been coming ever since the world returned to normal. She was leaving and he should be okay with that. Steve knew that nothing had changed. She was still who she had always been. She needed to run free and she would always return to him. Steve had changed though. She was the only light in a world that seemed bleak and heavy now.

“Where?” Steve asked, without turning around and without looking at him.

“Thailand.”

“How long?” Steve felt the tears press against his eyes, fearing her answer. He didn’t want to be without her but he loved her too much to ask her to stay.

“Six months,” she replied, swallowing harshly as his entire body seemed to slump down a bit. She hurried up behind him, wrapping her arms around his small waist and resting her head against his broad shoulder, tenderly kissing his skin.

“Come with me, Steve. You need a break from it all. Run away with me,” she lured and Steve fought to hold back his teens as he turned in her embrace.

“Sweetheart I can’t. The Avengers they need…” he started, but the interrupted him with a gentle kiss.

“No honey. They need Captain America. It’s a title and a mantle, you know Sam or Bucky can carry for you and they would without question. The Avengers will miss Steve I know that because they love him almost as much as I do and I miss him every time we are apart,” she smiled a little, turning her plea into light teasing.

“I can’t ask them too…” Steve started, before she interrupted him again, this time with words.

“It was their idea, Steve. You’re tired. You need to get away for a while. I see it and they see it. The only one that refuses is you. Please come with me?” she asked again. There was a sadness in her voice that Steve had never heard before as she looked at him with so much hope and despair in her eyes all at the same time.

He pulled her into a tight embrace as he felt the weight of the past years come crashing down on him. She was right. She always was. He had lost himself in the job and the pain of loss. He needed this as much, if not more than she did.

“Yes,” he whispered into her hair, smiling slightly as he felt her hold on him tighten. Now the word was spoken there was no way she was letting him back out of this and he didn’t want her too. His love had allowed Y/N to run free, maybe it was time to trust her love to let him find his own peace and freedom with her.

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Steve Rogers Tag Team

@feelmyroarrrr @princess-evans-addict @littlebittcrazy @thejourneyneverendsx @roxyspearing @jewels2876 @scarlettsoldier @captainsamwlsn @hellaqueerangelofthelord @danijimenezv @cd1242 @mizzzpink @janeyboo @becs-bunker @smoothdogsgirl @blacktithe7 @ifyougetkilled-walk-it-off @avengerscompound @jae-sch @grace-for-sale @scarletlingeries @mizzezm @barnesrogersvstheworld @readitandweepfics @averyrogers83 @girl-next-door-writes @docharleythegeekqueen @erosbellarke @slowlywithfreedom @the-wayward-robot @super100012 @myfanficlibrarium @achishisha @patzammit

#steve rogers #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #marvelfluffbingo #mcu imagine #steve rogers imagine #marvel imagine

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mintzias · 5 years

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i don’t think a real introduction post is necessary for me, but i’m still gonna yeet my new character your way. relatively new, beau has been a wip for a while but i never wanted to bring him anywhere for some reason. didn’t feel right before but now i’m gonna try.

anyway, since he’s been under works for a while i actually have a proper info sheet about him saved, so i’m just gonna tweak it a bit and post it under a readmore for anyone who might be interested! he’s not as infuriating as james thank god, so there might be some more connections to me made.

and this is a way for me to feed my obsession with supercars lmao.

tw car accident, death, violence, long post.

born in london to an american mother and english father. spent the first two years of his life in england, being tended to by countless nannies his parents eventually found useless and hired a new one. luckily for beau being so young, he hardly felt the impact of the familiar faces always changing.

on his third year of life he moved to america when his parents were offered a new businesss proposition that required them to be on site most of the time. he lived a posh life in manhattan and was graced with the finest kindergarten while the chaos with the nannies kept on going. not too academically inclined even as a youth, he spent most his time causing trouble and running around like a rascal he still is. this did help him make friends and he was a more physical kid than mental, so he fell easily into the stereotypical boy group.

he was twelve (and his new baby brother was four) when another move came upon them and the family rented out their home and packed their bags. tokyo was calling them for the future and beau was grumpy as hell that he had to leave behind all his friends, and everything he had learned to know just because his parents found a new project to take part in.

they moved, and beau had a hard time adjusting to new culture and new language. he became reclusive and very emo about the injustice his parents made him go through, and it took him close to three years to get his life relatively normal again. he went to school and learned the ways of his new hometown, and reluctantly made friends with his classmates.

things started to go well and his parents’ project calmed down enough for them to spend more time as a family and not just two businesspeople with a child. things were normal for them, beau continued his academics and his role as an older brother, which would become twice as difficult when his youngest brother was born.

a simple life went by quickly and the next memorable moment was when beau enrolled in university. he wanted to attend a vocational school but his parents scolded him for such menial ideas and told him to keep up his image by getting himself a business degree. he begrudgingly agreed just to please his parents, and with a promise that he would be taking over the million-dollar business.

most of his high school friends parted ways when he started his new studies, but he had a safety new of four when he first stepped into his adulthood, and the harder studies he knew he wouldn’t be able to finish. it was hell, and even if beau tried his hardest, he barely got acceptable grades and was close to flunking. that’s when he met ayame.

romantic meeting or not, she started tutoring him first and eventually they fell in love. they began dating at 19, and it looked like it would last forever. his parents approved of her, and her parents approved of him even with his insecurity about being a foreigner and a whiny white boy.

she was a classic girl-next-door until she dared to show her rebellious side. it took her a year to gather the courage to bring him along to her nightly escapades, and that’s how beau was introduced to street racing. it was a tight community, the underbelly of the tokyo he had learned to know and the racers he had only heard rumors about. ayame was right at home with the gangs and introduced him to them. it became a frequent thing they did together, and ayame taught him their ways, how to race like a pro. it was an adrenaline spike and beau became addicted to it, spending more and more time with the crew while his academics plunged below the point where they could’ve still be saved.

it didn’t take him long to drop out and focus his entire attentions to the races. he never told his parents about his failure as a student, but they didn’t have time to ask him either. he kept his illegal activities away from the eyes of his family and never pulled them into the dangerous lifestyle he was leading.

being acquainted with the wrong side of the law helped beau fake his graduation as well, the fear of his parents knowing of his incompetence fresh on his mind. after the papers were presented, he told them he’d found a job and would be moving in with his girlfriend for better access to the workplace. they agreed and wished him well, and that’s when he became his own man.

he did indeed live with ayame, and they were happily together for four years before he popped the question and they got engaged. it was the happiest time of his life, and the engagement held for a year forward before they would be tragically torn away from each other.

they partook in a race as a celebration, ayame with her own car and beau with the one he had won some time before. it was a high-stakes race, every car on the line, winner takes all sort of situation. the couple was confident of their chances to walk away with three new supercars, the confidence coming from countless of races won in the past.

the winding roads were coming to an end and beau held his first place while his soon-to-be wife was second. it seemed like a clear win for them until the third placer abandoned the rules set for the race and rammed his car against ayame’s, causing her to lose control in the speed. her wheel hit the curb and spun out, crashing violently, spinning on the asphalt for several meters before coming to a stop.

there was not even a thought spared for the possible win when beau caught what happened through the rearview mirror. the two others that were in last place were the next ones to stop by ayame’s wreckage, and beau yelled at them to help him get her out of the car. when her body finally laid in his arms, she was barely breathing. he tried everything he could to get her to wake up and come back to him, but despite his best efforts, she drew her final breath.

beau was crushed. his entire life fell into pieces when he held his wife for the last time. he was forcefully pulled away from her when the ambulance and police were closing in and his fellow racers tried their best to keep him from going into a rage when he arrived at the finish line. reasoning with him was impossible and his keys were confiscated when he tried to get back to her, his wife. when there was no way to get out, he lashed out at the one that ran her off the road, beating him into a bloody mess. he was restrained before he could take it too far, but the still fought the men holding him back.

he informed his parents, and mourned with her family. the support of her parents helped him stay in line and not lash out too violently even if no day went past that he would cry his eyes out and hit the walls. as much as her accident haunted him, he didn’t withdraw from the races and became determined to get revenge on the man that caused her death.

avenging her was nothing short of wrathful. on the same road, the same time of the day, same conditions. he abandoned the set rules and swerved full-body against his car when passing him, sending the man into an uncontrollable spin. the wreck wasn’t as bad and the man survived, but beau didn’t stop to help him. he didn’t finish the race and went home, sent a message to his friends and family telling them he was moving back to america.

trying to adjust back to the american life was hard and without a proper education he didn’t get a job that could support him. as much as he wanted to give up his career in racing, he weaseled his way back into similar crews and got his debut on the streets. it was no different from what he did in tokyo and the competition was the same, still falling behind him after the starting line. he built his reputation from ground up until his name was just a hushed whisper during the meets, their glances full of fearful respect. he left everything behind in tokyo and tries to live his life to the fullest. death doesn’t deal with warnings, a motto to live by.

FUN FACTS!

his everyday car is a 2017 McLaren 570S, while his main racing car is a 2002 mazda rx-7 spirit.

races independently but has claimed a crew for himself nonetheless ( forest hill riders | f.h.r )

owns a private garage where he stores the best cars he has won.

out of sentimentality, the license plate of his day to day car is ‘AYAME’.

he still tells his parents he works in business that pays extremely well. sound weird to say “yeah i make a couple of mil for driving and selling illegal cars”.

he doesn’t admit that he flexes his cars but he absolutely flexes his cars.

careless af with his money. hears someone say “i want that” and he’ll step up and buy it.

takes his work very seriously and is very stoic when it comes to preparing for a race.

fluent in japanese and english, and can put on a british accent like no ones business.

refuses to drive white cars. hates them in fact. does not like white cars.

bought a 1992 honda nsx and restored it to the same condition as ayame’s car was before the crash, down to the smallest imperfection and craziest mods. it’s not in use, but has stood in the garage for nine years.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

another racer, a type of frenemy situation where the competition is playful yet serious. they would have known for at least ten years and hang around each other during meets, but have a wedge between friendship due to different crew affiliation.

either one of his brothers (born 1993 and 1995) who don’t know about his lawless lifestyle but have made something of themselves. or not. i haven’t put much thought into them, just that beau was fiercely protective of them before leaving tokyo. all they know is that he makes money, has a job, and that he’s still shaken from the accident years ago but kept to himself.

any other connections are welcomed too! i’m bad at coming up with these lmao. if you got this far, thanks!

#° ooc #i spent two hours looking at cars. my fbi agent probably thinks i'm rich #° file.#tw car accident #tw violence #tw death #tw long post

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youmightaswell · 5 years

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Die!

Say ‘Yes’ to the Dress?

I have secrets. Nothing so awful, but just weird stuff. This is the most benign of recent things that have been bothering me. So I figured I’d start with this. A sort of mental amuse bouche, if you will.

I also have a burning desire to out myself. To free myself from self-blackmail. I tell myself that I will not bully myself into feeling bad and worrying someone will find out my indiscretions; I don’t negotiate with terrorists, even if the terrorist is myself.

So here is some recent weirdness I need to off my chest.

I guess it all started around the same time with two things converging.

The first one was that my friend Karina told me she is getting married in September and to save the date. Normally I hate weddings, but this one will be fun. It’s her second marriage and her fiance is the best guy she ever dated. I love him. He is cute, funny, super successful and a chef to boot. You’ve seen him on television. It’s being held in a cool hotel and is small so I’ll know most of the people there. I even have a date: my friend of 30+ years is going to go with me. He is going through a bad divorce so he is single and lives right by the place.

Sure, I’m me so I am also a bit sad. Like where the fuck is my guy? When’s my second marriage with a guy far better than the first? Where’s my huge ring and huge dick and fancy new apt?

But I digress.

So Karina texted me a dress she liked. She wanted something not too weddingy and “edgy”. The dress, though, was a one-of-a-kind she tried on from an Israeli designer to the tune of $4,000. She could afford it but it just seemed silly to spend so much on a dress. She was hoping to find an alternative, and quick. So, curious, I started researching to see what was out there. I found a few great ones – midi white dresses with lace but that are more cool evening dress than formal gown. Anyway, over the next few weeks she’d text me others she likes and back and forth it went. I had wedding dresses on the brain. She still hasn’t decided on which to wear but is close to a winner. Me? Well, that’s for later in the story.

Concurrently I was excited because I had just found a website about two months ago that has incredibly cheap shit. I was reticent about ordering something because those wacky Chinese-based sites can be very hit or miss. But I read the online reviews and finally ordered a tassel bikini which upon arrival became my favorite swimsuit ever!

Soon it became compulsive. I found a 20% off code and ordered a few other bikinis. As previously noted I do not need any bikinis. I own about 45 swimsuits now. I worry that I can’t stop the collecting process. See? Harmless but nutso.

Most came to about $8. I soon tried dresses, tops, stickers, earrings.

The site posts a link to new ware arrivals daily. I’d eagerly wake and race to the computer to see if anything new was posted that I’d just love. I still can’t stop doing it. Thankfully most of the stuff doesn’t fit right and gets returned promptly. Still, I’d say I spent about $1200 in total in the last two months. Not anything horrible, but still, behavior I need to monitor.

Most of the stuff on the site is cheesy but there are a bunch of gems as well.

Shortly after I began my addiction, I bought two dresses I had absolutely no need for, but luckily when Karina alerted me of her impending wedding I was excited I might get to wear one of the two of my cheap, yet stylish dresses to the event. Serendipitous, no?

[As an aside do you like either of these for me for a fairly casual wedding? Which is your fave? They will be coupled with black open-toed Louboutins that I’m wearing in this bday picture– and and aside to the aside, the lace bodysuit i’ wearing in that pic was $14 from the same cheapo site.

I love it and got so many compliments on it at my bday dinner.]

This?

But then I took this one step further – a step into what might be considered dysfunctional, bordering on pathetic.

I found a white delicate dress with a mesh and sequin overlay that I loved. I thought to myself that if I were to get remarried I’d want to wear it. I would never spend thousands and probably not even hundreds on a wedding dress. If I were to ever get married I’d do so on a beach with like 4 people there so I’d want something to wear that was cute and throwaway – you know, like my first husband.

I obsessed over this dress. Probably a combo of being jealous Karina gets to have a big day in a white fancy dress and my desire to shop (cheaply) until I drop. I visited this dress online daily for a few weeks. I read every review and looked at every post. (People are encouraged to post pics of themselves in items they bought for bonus points towards discounts.) This dress seemed to fit everyone so well. A few people bought it for their bachelorette parties or their rehearsal dinners. One wore it to her court wedding.

So I began rationalizing: it’s summer, maybe I’d be invited to a gala? Maybe some sort of fancy charity event? Further rationalization: It’s so cheap – just $22 with my discount that even if it sat in my closet doing nothing for years it wouldn’t be a hardship. It couldn’t hurt to just buy this white, mock-wedding dress to try on, could it?

It arrived so quickly! I felt like I was doing something wrong and bad unpacking it so of course it was titillating. It wasn’t like I was setting up appointment to Vera Wang’s bridal atelier and trying on dresses for a fake wedding. I wasn’t regaling folks with the tale of how I met my phantom boyfriend who lives in Canada. This was harmless and different. Indulging a weird need in myself I hadn’t realized I had, but that felt so good.

And so it turns out this dress looks amazing on me. It’s sexy and demure all at the same time. I tried it on and walked around my house, too scared to snap a picture, for fear someone would see me in this white fancy dress and ask what the occasion was. Never mind that I live only with the dog, and she has witnessed far weirder.

But as you know sometimes a small thing can be a gateway to bigger things.

The site suggests other items similar to the ones you purchased that you rated highly.

And lo! Turns out there is a long gown with a train that is the same exact dress but in gown form. What is this fresh anxiety I feel? Well, now that I made peace with the fact I bought a knee-length white dress with fantasies of a beach wedding, I was seguing into fantasies about wearing an even more formal gown.

And yup, I bought that too. And yup, it fit amazingly. Like seriously this dress (okay, so now there are two dresses – judge if you want!) was made for me. Sadly there is no rationalizing this one away. There is simply no event I can be asked to attend that it would be appropriate attire for – except my own wedding.

So now I keep touching them in the closet. I keep peering at them sort of hidden among the more mundane work-a-day dresses, my two dirty little secrets.

This holiday weekend I got home from a barbecue and later after I had bathed, had nothing to do. I found myself putting on and wearing my gown for hours.

Yesterday I found myself casually (actually rather intensely for about two hours) looking on the internet for a blusher-length head piece that would go perfectly with The Dress’s flowery pattern. (FWIW: found one but didn’t buy it. Yet.)

Then this weekend in the NYT Vows column the wedding of a Lyme sufferer was highlightedand featured her in an amazing fringe skirt for her wedding. I mean I have the Lyme and the skirt, so where is my fucking husband?

I did confess all this weirdness to Yale and he told me to come down and we should just watch movies while I wear my gown. But I’m too scared somehow I’ll ruin it. I told him I hope I die soon so I can be buried in it. He suggested with no mockery that I should add that directive to my will.

So there you go.

For all you know I could be typing this very entry while wearing the full-length glory.

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hyrulehb · 7 years

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Let’s Take a Spin Ajin Takahashi/Gen fic

Following the Gen is human theory, this tells of how Takahashi discovers he’s an ajin.

Warnings: attempted double suicide, canon typical violence, drug addictions, fluff and angst, happy ending

They had decided to go through with it, it had started out as a joke so many weeks ago, but as their lives continued to stagnate and the world continued to look like shit around them… It had become a serious discussion. First, it was little comments while they were coasting on a high, obviously feeling the other out about whether they were thinking the same thing.

Takahashi comes to realize that when you truly love someone, they’ll spin whichever direction you do.

Eventually, the tiptoeing bullshit had them both at the end of their ropes. Even the drugs couldn’t ease the tension in their words and bodies. It was Takahashi that cracked first, asking bluntly as he rubbed a hand over his cheekbones. “Hey, …do you ever think about ending it all? Like fucking die and shit?”

They were both coming down, the process never got easier. The longer haired man, was splayed out over the couch while Takahashi had claimed the rug as his crash site. As the seconds stretched out, Takahashi wondered if perhaps his long-time friend had fallen asleep. Then the creaks of protest from the old springs in the cushions alerted him to Gen rolling over, head peeking over the side to stare down at the much taller male.

“Do you?” The question was soft, Gen’s voice rough from the drugs and the laughing they had been entrapped by only minutes before.

“Yeah, I mean the world’s pretty shit right, we can’t even have fun because of bein’ adults, bills, work, and all that crap.” Takahashi admitted staring at the ceiling as the fan rotated above them lazily.

Spin. Spin. Spin….

The world was turning around and it felt like they were just kind of being dragged along for the ride. No one would miss either of them when they were gone. Abandoned by their families for their drug addictions, the construction company they worked for would easily replace them, their landlord only harassed them if they were late on the rent they owed on the shitty little apartment they shared.

Being high was the only time they really felt alive and it was then that they felt like they were finally spinning faster than the rest of the world. Like they were getting the last laugh somehow.

“Ya wanna do it together?” was the query, Gen leaning further over the couch to get a good look at his companion. Dark eyes searching and holding a fondness made his chest tighten. It was then that Takahashi realized that there would be someone to miss him after all.

Swallowing hard, the taller man nodded and as the other blinked back at him, he was sure that his heart was going to burst. Was it from the fear of death, the horror of the idea of taking their own lives, or just the feeling of liberation for finally admitting the dark thoughts that had been swirling inside of his mind for the past few months?

“Sure, together, I’m not paying for this shithole by myself,” Gen answered, snickering as he dropped a hand over the edge to tap Takahashi on the forehead with a finger. “We’re not overdosing on crack though, heard it hurts like a bitch.”

A laugh came from the other at that, a harsh, loud sound that used to make the annoying old woman that lived under them bang on their floor to try and get them to shut up. A week in though, she had given up, probably connecting the dots that the two men didn’t give a shit about being good neighbors or respecting their elders. Miserable old hag, no one would probably come looking for her body after she expired… Much like them. Left to rot and fester as another stain of people that didn’t fit perfectly into the mold that Japanese, no perhaps it was all human society tried to enforce.

“Fine, I’ll leave the researching bit to you, alright? I used to copy off your homework all the time anyway. Guess this is the same in a sense,” more snickers erupted from them and Takahashi lifted his hand, fingers interlacing with those of Gen, whose hand was still hovering above his forehead, “I love you, man.”

“I know.”

They continued to lay like that for the rest of the day, an air of acceptance and understanding filling the air between them. There was no rush, hell it was obvious that there was not enough gumption between the two of them to get off their asses as their bodies recovered from the drugs and alcohol they had consumed throughout the night and morning with relish.

The days and weeks passed after that, it wasn’t brought up again, they just simply continued with their lives. Shitty meals from the convenience store, getting kicked out of clubs and bars, getting wasted in every sense, working hard labor, the list went on and on.

There was no singular bad event to trigger their decision, in fact the day had been a relatively good one as they got home from work early. Takahashi groaning softly as he popped his back before sliding down to the floor. The crappy kotatsu had been pulled out and plugged into the wall to combat the changing of the seasons. Winter meant there would be less work since snow, ice, and rain would make working conditions too unstable and dangerous. It was pretty much guaranteed that they’d be getting a lot of days off thus.

Takahashi forced his long legs underneath the wonder of Japanese innovation with a breath of contentment. Eyes closing as he laid on his back, one arm bent behind his head to support it. He could hear Gen messing around in the kitchen, but didn’t think too much on it.

The apartment was going to be frigid throughout the winter with its poor insolation and their electric and gas bills were going to hit the roof. There was no way around it, taking a freezing shower was basically torture. Neither of them would be able to stand that. They had enough saved up on the side so it should be fine. Sharing a futon and stacking the other’s blankets and mattresses on top of it would make the nights more bearable too.

The small click of glass being set on top of the table part of the kotatsu had the tall man opening his eyes once more, propping himself on his elbows as Gen settled himself on the couch. Takahashi sent a little grin at the long-haired man, getting one in return, before looking at the table, eyes widening as he looked at the arrangement before him: a pack of cigarettes, a lighter, ashtray, a pair of razor blades, a large bottle of pills, and two drinks.

A nervous chuckle escaped Takahashi as he pulled the carton to him, pulling one of the cigs out, Gen leaning over and lighting it for him. The taller man returned the favor, both taking long drags and letting the smoke curl above their heads.

“This is supposed to be a non-smoking apartment,” Gen murmured as the smoke whisked itself away as his breath came out. The silence stretched between them once more before a short snort came from Takahashi, a moment later a guffaw came from his companion. Than they were laughing their asses off, taking puffs from the cigarettes between raucous bouts of mirth. Tears were gathering at the corners of their eyes as smoke escaped wheezing lips.

“How many we poppin’, Gen?”

“Fifteen each,” a chuckle answered the other’s hiss of ‘Fuck’, reaching over to tip the bottle over and spilling the contents across the table, starting to divide them out. Takahashi simply watched as he counted in his head before his gaze flicked over to the razors, “What are those for?”

“Plan B, or I guess plan A and a half or somethin’ like that.” Gen set the cap of the bottle on its side, closing one eye to help aim before flicking it hard, sending it careening off the table and to bounce off the wall with a light thunk. “The pills are supposed to just make you really sleepy and maybe get the shakes, like a fever. But you’re supposed to pass out before anything, like, hurts. If it does hurt or it’s not fast enough, that’s what those are for.”

“Huh,” Takahashi muttered softly, picking up the collection of pills and bouncing them lightly in his hand. He observed the other copying the action, still he couldn’t help the words he vomited out, “You still want to do this, right? It’s not just because of me, right? If you want to pull out, then I will too, so it’s okay. I don’t want you to be pressured or any of that shit. This is your life you’re taking.”

“Takahashi, you’re strong, but you’re not that strong. If I didn’t want to do it, do you think I would have gone to all this trouble? Anyway, a world without you, that’s not one I want to be in. We’ll face whatever hell comes after death together,” His words had cut through the other man’s babble and Takahashi sighed softly. A mixture of relief and warmth running through him. He picked the drink off the table, offering it for a toast as Gen quickly picked up his own, “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Gen echoed, and together they both threw back the pills, chasing it with a few large gulps from the glass.

Coughing at the unfamiliar feeling of the large mass moving down his throat, Takahashi aimed a small glare at his snickering companion who was still sipping from his glass, “Seriously?! You give me fucking oolong tea to wash my poison down with?”

“Hey, just lookin’ out for your health. Then again, I guess green tea is supposed to be better for you,” Laughter came from their lips, shoulders shaking as they lit another cigarette, then another. Steadily working through the pack as they made comfortable conversation. They talked about their childhood, who was an asshole at work, their clumsy confessions to each other, anything and everything was talked about. Grey smoke swirling and swaying from their lips and nostrils, it was… nice.

Gen was the first to fall silent, mumbling about how sleepy he was feeling before laying back on the couch. It was probably because of Takahashi being a giant compared to the other that it took another fifteen minutes before he felt his eyelids starting to droop. His stomach ached slightly, but it wasn’t bad. He was starting to sweat, prompting him to pull his legs from under the kotatsu. There was a slight tremble to his shoulders as his body started to react to the foreign drug in his body and the sheer amount of it. His heart was palpating faster, a panic response probably, but Takahashi felt too lethargic to be alarmed.

It was fine, it didn’t hurt and honestly it felt more relaxing knowing he was approaching the end. Maybe they didn’t go out with balls or guns blazing, but they were happy, at least in a way. Which was more than a lot of poor bastards got when they reached the end of their rope.

This was all just fucking dandy. A small snicker came from Takahashi again, ‘dandy’ was such a weird word. He rolled himself onto his side to face the couch, opening his mouth to say something before freezing.

Gen’s skin had become ghostly pale, a film of sweat covered his forehead, his chest rose and fell rapidly, his eyes were closed and brows were pinched together with a small frown pointing the edges of his lips downwards. His body was trembling, mostly likely the muscles were having spasms from the chemical cocktail. He was dying, Takahashi realized, fuck, his heart clenched.

Seeing his love, his best friend, his one and only dying, he didn’t want to see that.

He really, really didn’t.

They could claim they would see each other on the other side all they wanted, but witnessing death was a bit harder to swallow. Gen was already unconscious, Takahashi could tell that by the limpness of his frame. He couldn’t, wouldn’t watch this he decided. His fingers fumbled, but he managed to pick up one of the razors from the table. He’d had his fingers crushed and pinched often enough at work, how bad could it be?

“Sorry,” Was a soft muttered half-apology as he brought the edge of the metal across his wrist, “Guess I’m going to cheat a little and win this race.” It stung but he continued to make the long, deep cut. Hissing as he almost dropped the blade to the floor, digits slick with blood, he repeated the process with the other wrist. His fingers didn’t shake this time.

Blood leaked rapidly from the wounds and Takahashi rolled himself over once more. This time, turning away from the couch. Laying there was an odd feeling, knowing your life was literally draining out, arms going numb first and then slowly the rest of him. But his mind was blissfully blank. Probably another side effect of the overdose. A small crooked grin crossed his face as his eyelids became too heavy, not that it did anything since blackness had already been clouding his vision. The last thing he saw was the fan spinning above him.

…

Waking up again was like one of those horrible spells where you are about to fall asleep and suddenly your whole-body jerks. Sending a rush of panic through you despite there being no source for it. His legs kicked out sending the still plugged-in kotatsu he was lying beside sliding nosily across the floor. The apartment was dim, only being lit up from the street lights outside, penetrating their shitty excuse for curtains.

Had… it all been a dream? Had he just fallen asleep after coming home from work?

His brain felt like it had been put through a blender as he tried to get to his feet only to yelp as he slipped, crashing back to the floor with a pained grunt. What the hell?! Putting a hand on the floor to help brace himself for another attempt to get up he froze, it was wet. Shaking slightly, he brought the hand closer to his face, able to pick out the deep red color despite the darkness. Blood, he scrambled onto his hands and knees, a giant puddle of blood surrounded him, had drenched his clothes.

It was real, he was supposed to be dead, he HAD died. He knew that, the evidence was right there in front of him! So why the fuck…?

Gen.

His internal confusion and panic had the metaphorical brakes slammed on it. Head snapping to the side to look back towards the form on the couch.

Stumbling forward he brought shaking hands closer to the long-haired man’s face, ‘Oh god, fuck, please no’ the words repeated in an endless stream as took in how pale the other was. They had both had a healthy tan from working outside all the time, but now all the color seemed to have been washed out from Gen’s skin. When he took in the small, weak rise and fall of his lover’s chest Takahashi felt tears stinging his eyes.

Alive, they were both still among the living. But Gen was dying while for some reason Takahashi felt like he had basically been reset. To come back from the dead, how in the world…

Ajin, he was a fucking ajin. An immortal being that would keep coming back no matter the injury it suffered and would return feeling right as rain. Right as fucking rain, which was now starting to pitter across the windowpanes, which added to the surrealistic atmosphere of the moment.

Goddammit, could he not get a break?! This wasn’t fair, he didn’t ask for this! Still he couldn’t focus on his own misery right now, Gen needed him. He had to get him to a hospital, but he wasn’t stupid enough to go running in there covered in blood as he was. It would be too suspicious. Hell, it might cause a panic that would make Gen’s critical condition be disregarded.

Thinking quickly as he ran to change clothing and wet a towel in the sink before approaching the couch. Dread filling him as he lifted the other up. His pulse was so weak.

Like a limp, broken doll. God, this was bad, he couldn’t live in this world alone. Without Gen, it would be agony. Takahashi had no idea whether or not the other would even accept him after revealing that he wasn’t human. Hell, he could turn on him and sic the governmental hounds on him. Still it wouldn’t matter to him, as long as he knew Gen was alive as well, breathing the same air he was, somewhere, then it was okay. As much as it would hurt him to be betrayed. He just didn’t want his existence to be completely alone, if he knew Gen was out there.

Hurrying out of the apartment, he kicked the door shut after them. Holding the heavy form of Gen like a bride, he let out a breathless laugh. Gen would have his head if he knew he was holding him like some stupid dame. The key clacked uselessly against the lock, each time making his frustration mount, before finally it slid inside. This must have been the most awkward way to ever lock a door.

This was taking too much goddamn time. All mirth was gone as the situation weighed more heavily than the trembling body he held. With each moment he wasted, he cursed in his head. If he couldn’t save the one person he cared about in this miserable world, he swore that he was going to find a way to be the first ajin to STAY dead.

Their car was a piece of crap, a little two door truck that their construction company lent to them so they could get to and from work. It started after only two tries, which was a blessing in itself. He laid Gen in the passenger seat, head propped against the cool window. He hadn’t woken up at all, not even as the tires screeched as Takahashi peeled out of the parking lot and thundered down the road. As he drove, the ajin tried to wipe off all the blood he could from his face, hands, and neck with the towel he had brought. The grip on the wheel remained white-knuckled tight as he prayed to any kami that existed that they wouldn’t be pulled over or ironically crash on the rain slicked roads.

Fifteen minutes later, they had finally made it.

Everything after arriving at the hospital was a blur. Takahashi had burst into the emergency room, holding Gen tight in his arms as he shouted, no screamed was more accurate, for some help. Babbling to the nurses that brought a gurney that he thought the other had overdosed on accident because he was suffering from the flu the past few days.

As Gen was wheeled from sight and past swinging doors that were labeled ‘authorized personnel only’, the young man felt like he had entered another level of hell. Maybe, he really was dead and he was just trapped in a repeating nightmare as punishment for some sin or another. If the devil dragged Gen into this he was going to kick his ass, unholy, powerful being or not.

He paced back and forth in the waiting room, despite many worried bystanders urging him to sit down. He just shrugged them off, it was nerve-wracking. Who knew what would happen next? A nurse finally came to him, telling him the news that Gen was stable. That was when he finally collapsed to his knees, tears rolling down his cheeks. He was alive, that…. That was all that mattered, everything else seemed to fade into the background. Just white noise buzzed in his ears as the shock and relief washed over him… A buzzing sound which was starting to get annoyingly repetitive.

A blink brought him back to the present and he sent a glare at the nurse, how dare she interrupt his moment of respite! But she only gave him a tight smile in response, most likely she really didn’t give a shit about these two, rough-looking men.

“Sir, I was asking you if had any idea why there was so much of that in his system?” Fuck, that was right they needed a cover story. Saying that they were attempting a double suicide wasn’t exactly going to go over well. What would be believable and get the hospital staff to clear Gen to leave faster? If he was put on a watch list, who knew when they would be able to get out of this sanitary cage.

It took a little bit for him to remember what he had said to get them to pump Gen’s stomach and hopefully give him an antidote, “He’s like, had the flu for the past week. Never went to the doctor or anythin’ though, so he’s just been taking that over the counter stuff from the last time I was sick last year.” He scratched the back of his head, like he was trying to figure it out and was just as confused as the nurse about what had happened, “We’ve been following the instructions, but he’s always been an impatient guy.”

“I gave him another dose, like he had asked me to in the morning, when I got back home from work. Then he laid back down on the couch while I went to run some errands. When I came back, he was like that. Maybe he took some pills before I got home and forgot to tell me he already took them. That’s the only thing I can think of.” The nurse nodded along, marking something on her little clipboard before she side-eyed him, though she still looked incredibly bored, “And there’s no chance that he was trying to commit suicide?”

“WHAT?! Never! We were planning on playing cards with our friends tomorrow if he was feeling better. He’d never miss that!” Raising his voice made the act even more believable as it got some of the other people to glance their way. A blush made its way to the young woman’s face. That’s when Takahashi realized she was new, that was the obvious sign. She didn’t know how to deal with a lot of attention on her or an altercation.

“Okay, we have to ask as protocol, his room is 315 you’re allowed to visit him now. Since you said that you’re his living partner earlier, you’re allowed to stay the night with him.” She twittered off, spinning on her heel and quickly disappearing out of sight.

Silently, Takahashi was grateful that this hospital was so small and understaffed, or he might have gotten professionally questioned. As soon as she turned away he was already hurrying towards the elevator. Despite her assurances, he wasn’t going to believe the other to be alive until he saw it with his own two eyes.

The multiple doors he passed, painted that almost painfully bright white made him shiver. Yeah, hospitals were the absolute worst in his opinion. The ajin made sure to close the door to Gen’s room firmly behind him before approaching the bed. The shorter male looked better, his breathing much easier and he looked comfortable. There was an IV in his hand and the sight made Takahashi want to vomit. They had been so close, Takahashi would still have been fine with dying and joining Gen on the other side. But instead… he had forced Gen to stay alive. He hadn’t gotten a choice in the matter.

Fuck, he was so selfish.

Not knowing when Gen might regain consciousness Takahashi settled for pulling a chair closer to the edge of the bed and laying his upper half across the mattress. Head resting on Gen’s chest and being comforted by the steady beat he heard. The taller male moved to hold one of the other’s hands. Making sure his hold was gentle despite wanting to grip onto his lover’s hand like a lifeline that might be ripped away at any moment. His thumb brushed over the IV making him grimace, tubes and other medical equipment always freaked him out since he was a kid. Kind of ironic when both he and Gen enjoyed shooting up. This was just different.

With the knowledge that the long-haired man would live his mind could wander about his other problem… A big problem at that. If anyone found out, he’d be hunted mercilessly by the government of not only Japan but other nations as well. While being lazy had landed the pair into low level high schools and similar occupations. They weren’t dumb or unobservant. Perhaps working a hard life made one acutely aware of some ugly hidden truths in the world around them. Having an easy life could make someone unconsciously or intentionally turn a blind eye towards something that might go against their obtainment of a blissful, peaceful life.

The medical achievements and advancements in weapons engineering had climbed dramatically since the discovery of the first ajin. It really didn’t take a genius to put two and two together. Also, there was the surfacing of videos of inhumane experiments done on supposed ajin on the internet, though many claimed that the videos were fakes.

He didn’t want to end up like that. Dying the first time might not have hurt, but he wasn’t exactly jumping at the chance to see what it would feel like without all the drugs numbing his senses.

The feeling of being stuck seemed to compress him deeper into the bed. Idly, he wondered if he could just sink into Gen and never move again. A small pat on the top of his head made him realize that it wasn’t the weight of the situation he was experiencing, but Gen’s hand. Fingers moving through short unkempt locks as the human asked in a hoarse voice, “What happened, did you chicken out?”

Takahashi snapped up into a seated position, spewing apologies as he jostled Gen who looked at him with a weak glare before, with a few mishaps of the remote attached to the bed, Gen was moved into a more comfortable position. “I…” The newly discovered ajin wasn’t sure how to start, looking at the bleach white sheets before him as he felt the other’s gaze on him.

“You called an ambulance, right? How the hell are we going to pay for that?” The long-haired man whined, but there was no heat behind his words. His tone just sounded surprised and confused more than anything.

“I…” Takahashi started again before his throat tightened, this time he barreled through it, even though his voice felt half strangled, “Actually, it’s the exact opposite. I drove you here, I guess it was about half an hour after you passed out.”

“How the hell did you get us here alive? You should have been just as fucked-up as me, there’s no way that you should have been fit to drive across town,” There was the alarm, Gen’s voice rising as he tried to figure it out logically. Takahashi was shushing him, finger pressed against his lover’s lips. He waited a few moments for Gen to calm down, then as he drew the digit away he took the opportunity to press their lips together. It was short, but blissful and Takahashi wanted to memorialize every moment of it.

It would be the last kiss that they would share while Gen thought that he was human.

“Now, don’t freak out.” Takahashi began, Gen snipping in as he crossed his arms over his chest, “That’s always a comforting way to start.”

“Geeze you’re an asshole, can’t you see I’m trying to be serious?” He groaned softly as he rubbed a hand over his forehead, why did he love Gen again? The human rolled his eyes as he gestured for him to continue, with a deep breath, he did keeping his voice barely above a whisper. “I died. After you passed out, I couldn’t stand the sight of you dying so I cut my wrists. And then I died.”

Gen’s lips started to curl into a smile, a laugh threatening to bubble out before noticing that the continued dead seriousness of Takahashi’s face. “Shit, for real?”

“When we go back you can see the blood stain for yourself. I died, I came back and my body was perfectly fine.” Still he could give some evidence for his case right there, he had discovered it while he had been rubbing his arms anxiously while waiting for news. The smoothness of his skin, the absence of the little hardness and uneven dots and lines in his flesh from scars. Drawing back his hoodie sleeve he revealed the absence of the multiple pockmarks he had collected over the years from needles. His words were shaky as he didn’t know what to expect. Didn’t know if he wanted to see or hear what Gen would say when he connected the dots.

“Ajin,” The word was soft, Gen’s eyes wide in disbelief as he stared at Takahashi’s arm, at the skin that he knew as well as his own. It suddenly looked like it belonged to a stranger. But no, Takahashi was no stranger, despite the fear and the haggard expression he wore, it was still the man Gen loved. Then he noticed something, Takahashi wasn’t looking at him, well he was, but his gaze was focused instead on the area of his forehead.

“What the fuck man?! Do you really have that little faith in me, look me in the damn eyes!” His tone was hot, the hand that Takahashi had been holding turning its grip painful and crushing as he leaned forward. It made him feel good, the way the larger man shrunk back and looked shocked. But it also sickened him, did Takahashi really think he was going to turn on him?

“I don’t care if you’re goddamn Hannibal Lector or some mutant alien, I agreed to die with you. I think that takes quite a fucking bit of commitment.” He was angry, of fucking course he was. “Honestly, with all the freaky stuff we’ve done you’d th-.”

His words were cut off as Takahashi pressed a kiss to his mouth, Gen tried to push his hand against the ajin’s chest, he wasn’t done ripping him a new one after all! But the lips were incessant and eventually he gave up the fight as a warm hard carded through his hair. It must feel disgusting from the fever sweats he had experienced, nonetheless the other man continued to thread through it with a reverence like they were made from the finest silk.

As Takahashi drew back, they were both panting.

“Thank you.” The words were soft as Takahashi bumped his forehead against his lover’s, Gen grumbling back, “Ass.”

They stayed like that, before the ajin mumbled out, guilt washing over him, “Do you hate it, even a little bit, that I saved you. I… couldn’t imagine living without you. I was being selfish, I even offed myself instead of waiting for the end with you.”

“Just shut up, you live, I live, you die, I die. There’s not much difference in either statement, right?” Gen answered with a flippant wave of his hand, easy going grin coming to his face as he leaned back against the bed. “You just got to make sure that I don’t die now. Unlike you, I don’t get a second chance.”

“I have a feeling you’re not going to make that easy for me,” Takahashi mused, but a smile was quirking his lips as Gen snickered, “When have I EVER made anything easy for anybody?!”

“I love you.”

“Love ya too, I’m not cleaning up the blood when we go back by the way. You made the mess you can clean it up. Fuckin’ cheater.”

Takahashi was crying and laughing at the statement, it was absurd and the world felt like it was spinning, but if he had Gen by his side. He’d dare to spin counter-clockwise with him if it meant that they’d stay together in every sense of the word.

He leaned over the hospital bed, eager lips already lifting to meet his own once more.

Hope you enjoyed it, if you have any comments I’d love to hear them, origami10 helped me edit this!

#Ajin #Ajin: Demi-Human #ajin: demi human #ajin takahashi #ajin gen #gentakahashi #takahashigen #hyrulehalfbreed writes #takahashi #gen #takagen

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