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loganlermanstanaccount · 11 months

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Show me where it hurts (part 1)

Miguel O'Hara x spiderwoman!reader

(AO3 Mirror), Part 2, Main Masterlist

summary: Miguel's acting weird, and you make it your mission to find out exactly what's going on.

warnings: no warnings for this chap, pg-13, swearing and canon level violence. smut next chapter xoxo

a/n: this is a combination of 2 asks and this post I saw on here a while ago: flirty/ snarky fem reader, Miguel during a ""rut"" (I don't know if it counts as a rut really, but its to do with his animal instincts/DNA) and Lyla playing matchmaker. I had so much fun writing this, enjoy :D

(i wrote this pre seeing spiderverse 2, so i think characterisation is a little off, esp for Lyla, apologies! I'll fix it in my upcoming fics)

edit: I use the term "bichita" which I have been informed can be read not as I intended in Spanish. I'm not a native speaker so I want to apologise in advance. I'm doing more research for my future fics and leaving this up as a testament to my stupidity. Spanish speakers, feel free to correct me / clown my ass in the comments. My bad guys :(

wc: 3.6k

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You think Miguel is avoiding you.

One of your closest friends, giving you the runaround for months, it seems. Calling the two of you close friends is a little extreme, sure. You've only known O'Hara for two years, and been in love with him for slightly less than that, thank you very much. And yes, he refuses to call you by anything but your last name. And the last time you saw him he wouldn't so much as look at you, but that was besides the point.

"..the point," You tell Lyla, in between exasperated bites of cereal, "... is that aren't elite forces of spiderpeople supposed to, you know, have some spiderpeople kick ass once in a while? And where exactly is our fearless leader? I haven't seen O'Hara's scary ass in weeks, and I'm starting to miss it."

She gives you a look, one that says this isn't what I'm programmed for , but you pointedly ignore it.

"His ass, by the way." You clarify. "I very specifically miss his ass. Remind me to get his routine. I know girls that would kill for…"

"How the fuck did you get in here?" A voice croaks. You turn behind you and see Miguel, not in his suit, but wrapped up in a blanket like he's just woken up. And he looks rough, like a train ran him over on the way here: puffy eyes, splotchy skin, tension kneaded into his brow.

"Wow." Your spoon drops into the milk. "You look like shit.."

He furrows his brow even deeper, if that was possible. " Mierda. You shouldn't be here."

"This isn't quite the welcome party I was expecting, man. I'm the only one to actually turn up to one of your meetings, and this is what I get?"

"I thought I told Lyla to cancel," He mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Cancel? Since when do you miss a chance to talk about rules and protocol?"

"I don't have time for this-"

"-and I'm not leaving without a proper explanation. Is everything okay?"

"It's actually way worse now you're here." He deadpans.

"Haha ." You turn to Lyla. "You drop everything to travel halfway across the multiverse and this asshole won't even say thanks."

"Thanks, but this asshole needs you to leave. Now."

This is the most he's spoken to you in forever, and you hate that you like it. You just want his attention, however it comes. If that means dragging this out so maybe he acknowledges you, touches you, looks at you - then so be it. Squinting, you get closer to him. You scan his face for anything to latch onto. You put a hand on his shoulder, still searching.

"You sure you're alright? You know you can tell me if-"

"Si, si." He grits his teeth, looking away. "M'just fine. I'll explain…. later."

"...because I'm your right hand man?" You grin, poking at his brow. "Stop frowning so much Miguel, you're gonna ruin that pretty face of yours."

He flushes, nervous, and swats you away. "-what? N-No. You're not my right hand man and I like my face just the way it is. Now, leave. "

Making your way to the door, you tap your nose teasingly. "You know where to find me!"

When the door closes with a click, you make your way down the corridor, and stop in your tracks when you hear it. It's muffled, but with the strain of your supersenses you can make out Miguel's voice just beyond the wall.

"I just…. don't want her to see me like this… Lyla, it's not happening… I can't tell her…." Tell her what, exactly?

Resolutely, you make up your mind. Miguel O'Hara's got a secret. And before you leave for home, you're gonna do everything in your God given power to wear him down and find out.

~~~

Despite his insistence otherwise, you liked to think of yourself as O'Hara's right hand man - and most of the other spiderpeople thought so too. You were one of the very first he recruited, after crash landing onto your earth like a spiderman-shaped meteor; the two of you were inseparable. Miguel was stubborn and headstrong and thought he was right all the time. Infuriatingly, he was, but that didn't stop you from telling him to get his head out of his own ass when his ego grew too big.

He was different around you, you think. Softer, sometimes. Harsher, other times. He told you what you needed to hear whether you wanted to or not; the result of mutual respect and agonising persistence. Slowly, you had chipped away his hard exterior; the one he built because he thought he needed to push people away. In that regard, you were similar, but this need manifested in you like a weed - an awful, awful compulsion to joke and laugh at your own expense, to keep others at an arm's length. You had spent your whole life picking and pruning away at yourself, looking for perfection. Even after all this, multiverse-hopping and fighting alongside people who were the closest things you had to friends , it wasn't enough. There was still something missing.

Ironically, Miguel had told you something similar the one of the last times you had spoken. You had fucked up a mission, well and truly. In the aftermath, all you can remember is coming back to base, limping on Jessica's arm.

"She's hurt!" She cries out. Lyla materialises and leads you both to the med bay, inspecting any visible wounds. There's a deep laceration, sticky with blood, at the base of your stomach. You shift onto the bed and hiss with pain.

Miguel is quick to follow, face twisted with confusion, pain, sadness. Even in your haze, you feel the tension radiating off of him as he drags over a cart of supplies.

"What happened?" He strains.

"I don't even… it happened so fast. We got ambushed, and all of a sudden I'm on the ground. I wasn't thinking straight and… " She sobs. "...she jumped in front of me. God, she saved my life-"

"-wasn't your fault, Jess." You croak, trying to sit up. "And I'm fine. Just need to walk it off…"

"Sit, bichita," His nickname makes you frown, despite yourself, and you settle back down. "Lyla, what's the damage?"

Your vision goes spotty, and Lyla's voice barely registers. All you can feel is searing pain in your side, but Miguel is warm, oh so warm. You clutch his arms, and force him to look you in the eye.

"M'ready, Miguel." He nods weakly, but you don't think he understands. "I mean it . I can lead, j-just need another chance and I won't let you down… Jess, tell him that I can-"

"It's okay. I believe you. You just need to relax for me, hmm?" He clutches at your hand, tight, and it's like you're the only two people in the world. "You did good. I promise."

Faintly, you nod. You feel a pinch at your arm, and Jessica's there, with an empty vial of something in her hands. The pain washes over you, and you fight to keep your eyes open. In those last few moments of light, you swear you feel a shaky kiss pressed to your temple.

"Sleep, mi bichito amoroso. Sleep."

When you come to, you're still in the medbay, moonlight streaming through. Well, artificial moonlight. Time worked a little differently here, something Miguel explained to you a while ago - God knows what about dilation and quantum interference. It makes you smile now, remembering his frustration as he tried to explain to no avail. You were the only spiderman this side of the multiverse without a degree in quantum tech, you had said with a lopsided smile.

You move to sit, and pain shoots up your side. Groaning, you push through it, determined to get out of this bed and find the others. As if on cue, Miguel walks in, almost leaping towards you.

"You should… mierda ! You should be resting in bed."

You pout as you stumble into his chest. He hooks an arm around you and leads you back. You clamber in, sighing. "M'fine, O'Hara."

"Your guts were halfway out of your body less than 24 hours ago. So stay put, or you might give me another heart attack."

You scoff, incredulous. "You were worried?"

He shrugs. " 'Course I was."

"Why? You know I'm practically indestructible." You give him a shit eating grin, and poke the frown appearing at his brow. He doesn't bat you away like he usually does.

"Famous last words, bichita." He sighs. You can't speak a lick of Spanish, but you know he only calls you that word when you've frustrated him to his limit. So you take it as a win, for now.

He drops into the chair next to you. "How are you feeling?"

"Just peachy, dollface." You wink, and he doesn't so much as groan.

"I'm being serious. You went through something pretty traumatic…"

"You want me to tell you it hurts, so, so bad, daddy? " You pout and flutter your eyelashes mockingly. Miguel shifts in his seat, unable to make eye contact.

"That's not what I meant."

"What did you mean, O'Hara? I feel fine. And in a couple of days, I'll feel even better, and I'll be up and about. I can finish what we started and-"

"-no, absolutely not." He frowns. "A couple of days? I'm sending you home-"

"You can't do that! On whose fucking authority?"

"On the authority of you almost fucking died ! Keeping you safe is our priority right now-"

"God, is this my punishment? This is a low blow, O'Hara. You know how hard I've worked for this: months of surveillance and intel a-and I did everything by the book, just like you told me to." You croak. "I fucked up . I know that, and I feel terrible. Give me a chance to make things right; that's all I'm asking. I can do it, I know it. "

He looks at you for a moment, something heavy in his expression. His face contorted, he strips you down to the bone with just his gaze. His voice is so quiet, you almost miss it.

"....you're still trying to prove yourself, aren't you?"

Honestly, it catches you off guard. You don't even know what the fuck that means, let alone why he said it.

"I don't… I d-don't…?"

"They all love you. Respect you. More than me I think, sometimes." He chuckles at that. "You're good at what you do. The best . What else are you trying to prove? What else do you need ?"

Your throat goes dry. You couldn't speak if you wanted to.

"I'm not punishing you. You made a mistake, but you don't need to be crucified for it. I just want to keep you safe. I can't… we can't lose you."

"Miguel-"

"-this isn't a discussion. And I'm not trying to argue, although I know how much you like to argue." He inches closer, cupping your face gently. You try to move away, blinking back tears. But his hands are steady and he strokes your jaw with so much tenderness you think you hear your heart break. He's pretty, so pretty. You don't deserve him, you think. "There'll be time to fight, bichita. Rest. That's your mission right now."

"C-can't sleep." You breathe. "It hurts."

Miguel pauses, head tilted like he's thinking. He taps your shoulder. "Scoot over."

You do as he says, and he slips into the bed with you. It's a tight fit, but he manages, placing you on his chest with an arm gently around your shoulders. You bury your face in his hoodie, sniffling and hoping he doesn't notice you choking back sobs. Absentmindedly, he settles into a rhythm, gentle breathing and playing with your hair, soothing you softly. He pretends he can't hear the tears.

"M'gonna stay here until you're asleep. For as long as you need."

You nod, unable to speak for fear of breaking down.

~~~

The days after felt like a blur. You woke up to Miguel gone, and an ache in your heart. Jess visits as much as she can, and Ben calls you a couple times, to see if you're okay. Peter B brings Mayday, and she clambers all over your bed, bringing some life into the room. Miguel doesn't visit per se - you hear whispers of him, Lyla visiting in his stead for comprehensive status updates. Once, you wake up in the night to see him on the adjacent chair, head lolling in deep sleep. He looks peaceful, calm - one of the first times you haven't seen his brow furrowed with worry. Of course, he's gone by the morning.

The very last time you saw him, he opened the portal home. It was weird, after everything, but if Miguel felt the same you wouldn't know. Talking at a thousand miles a minute, he alternates between assuring you they'll be fine without you and situation reports from spider people all across the multiverse. Things you'd missed whilst bedbound, asking for advice before you left. He trusted your judgement and the thought warmed your heart, almost making you forget that he completely brushed past the previous nights before.

You still remember the last thing he had said to you, which would've been weeks ago, now.

"...and if you need anything, and I mean anything, you call me directly. Not Jess, not Ben, and certainly not Peter B. Call me, and I'll answer, I promise. You need help, you need advice, you just need someone to talk to, then-"

"-I call you. I get it, O'Hara. Will do." He opens the portal, watching as you walk towards it. He can't take his eyes off of you, even though you can't see him. At the last moment you turn, and run towards him. You almost knock him over with a hug. Burying his head in the crook of your shoulder, he hugs you back, ever careful of your injury. Separating, your smile almost knocks him over again. Weakly, he smiles back as you head through the portal, back home.

You're left with that feeling, of his arms around your body - warm, so warm - as you putter about by the switchboard. After careful deliberation (you were really, really bored ) you'd taken to manage the Multi Modal Multiversal Switchboard - as aptly named by Miguel. Everyone else called it the Big Red Phone of course, but he had insisted on calling it by its proper name . Every. Time.

The thought makes you chuckle as you call up Peter B. His icon flashes on the screen in front of you. With a click, he picks up the call, his face materialising holographically in front you. A little hand reaches up and tugs at his ear.

"Ow… ouch … Dad's on the phone, honey."

"Aww! How's my favourite Parker doing?"

"Not bad, actually! MJ just made us probably the best burger this side of New York-"

"-sorry, Peter? Me and May are trying to have a conversation." You hear her giggle in the background. Her gap toothed grin pops into frame and she babbles excitedly. "...yeah, exactly May. That's literally what I said."

"Okay, okay, that's enough." He puts the toddler down and watches her scurry away. "You're feeling better, I see."

"Yeah, back in action. Thought I'd check in."

"All good here." He squints, trying to take in your surroundings. "You're at HQ?"

You hum.

"Could've sworn Lyla cancelled…"

"Yeah, didn't get the memo. But I think something's wrong with O'Hara."

He gives you a weird look. "Uhhh, what makes you think that?"

"He won't even look at me. Was it something I said? Something I did?" Your eyes narrow. "...what do you know, Peter?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" He scoffs, a little too quickly, clutching his chest like you've offended him. He's stared down some of the scariest villains around, but the look you give him is truly chilling. "Just… uhhh. You didn't hear this from me."

"Naturally…"

"We tracked 'em down, the guys that ambushed you and Jessica."

"The Sinister Six? From Earth-215?"

"Yeah, but by the time we got there, it was just Kraven and some of his goons. Miguel got there first, and…." He gulps. "He was pissed. Trashed the whole place looking for the rest of 'em. Beat Kraven half to death and we had to pull him off."

"Shit."

"Yeah, it was pretty rough. Never seen him like that before. And just generally? He'd been weirdly quiet, a little grumpy, more aggressive on missions. I don't know what's gotten into him."

"Hmmm. Thanks, Pete."

"No problem, sweetheart. And if the big guy asks… "

"...this didn't come from you, I know." Weakly, you smile. "Say hi to my favourite Parkers, for me."

" 'Course I will. We should celebrate, if you're back officially. Mine and MJ's is always open."

"Good to know. I'll see you around."

He waves goodbye, and the hologram clicks off. Sighing, you try to piece together what you've just heard.

Miguel: acting weird. Well, you knew that already. Aggressive was new. And Lyla? She had canceled, but not for you, for some reason. An honest mistake, perhaps. But Lyla doesn't make mistakes…

You stew for a couple of hours, puttering about the switchboard, twiddling your thumbs. Something's wrong, and for some reason you're afraid to see him. To have him look straight through you, again, when you ask to do the same. Show me where it hurts. Tell me how to make it better.

On the way there, you chew your lip in anticipation. In the corridor, you're outside the door to his place, hand hovering above the door. To knock, to call. In the harsh fluorescent light, you hesitate.

"Lyla?" Nervously, you sink down onto the floor. It's hard to explain, but you don't expect her to actually come; to materialise in front of you.

"How can I assist you?" She says with a ding.

"Uhh… hi. Just wanted to talk." You pause, clicking your tongue. "Can you be honest with me?"

"I can only be honest with you. It is not in my programming to lie, unless specified by my owner."

"Sure. Cool. It's about him, actually. Is Miguel okay?"

She tilts her head, as if processing your request. "Okay is a subjective term. Is Mr O'Hara alive? Yes. Is Mr O'Hara physically well? Yes. By those terms, he is okay ."

Too vague for your own liking. "I guess I meant more… his emotional state. To the best of your knowledge… in your opinion , Lyla: is Miguel okay?"

"...I believe Mr O'Hara is experiencing some emotional turmoil."

You frown. "Oh. Do you know why?"

"Mr O'Hara has instructed me not to disclose that information with you."

"Fair enough. But you don't have to tell me… I could just ask questions?"

She nods. "There is nothing in my programming that prevents me from answering some questions within certain parameters."

"Did I do something? Not just today but… last time I was here. Did I say something to hurt or upset him? Is that why he's acting weird?"

"No." She says blankly. "And yes. I suppose it is… complicated." She gestures around that word.

"I'm a little confused, Lyla."

She sits next to you, on the cool tile. Not that she could feel it, but it feels more intimate - like two friends talking. The extent of Lyla's consciousness, you weren't sure of. Was she alive? To you, she might as well be. Could she think, feel, emote? Maybe, maybe not. You weren't smart enough to understand the nuances of her programming. But you were human enough to see it in her - something glittering beyond the surface.

It could be projection, but you swear her voice is softer. "He has a name for you. When he speaks about you, and to you. I have it logged in my memory database. Do you know what that is?" You shake your head.

Lyla opens up her palm and projects videos and images - little Miguel's popping up in her palm, tinny and gruff voices ringing through the hallway. They say your name, shout your name, whisper it. Some say other things in Spanish. Curse words had always been your assumption, and he had given you no reason to think otherwise. Now, having it played back to you, you hear a tenderness in his voice you would've missed. Words and phrases that come up again and again…

"Bichita." She repeats. "Bichito del amor. Mi bichito amoroso. "

You shake your head, still confounded. "...I don't speak Spanish, Lyla."

"Little bug. Sweetheart. Lovebug. My little lovebug." She clears her throat. "I believe they are terms of endearment."

Steadfast, she directs you towards her palm. Another small Miguel appears, and you think it's him from this morning.

"I thought I told you not to let anyone in, Lyla?"

"I did not let her in. She let herself in using the code you previously gave her, Mr O'Hara."

"Yeah, for emergencies. Fuck. Mi bichita, too smart for her own good."

"...If you are in distress, I believe she would understand, Mr O'Hara."

"I just think it's too much. I don't want her to see me like this."

"According to Alchemax files, previous subjects showing this kind of aggression benefitted from-"

"Lyla, it's not happening, no chance. I can't tell her."

The figure blinks out of her palm. "Mr O'Hara has forbid me from telling you about certain things."

"...but not from showing me." Your eyes meet hers. You give her a watery smile. "Thank you."

With a hint of a smile, she nods and is gone from the corridor. You are left alone, with nothing but your thoughts of little lovebugs rattling around in your brain.

#miguel o hara x reader #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara #spiderman 2099 #spiderman 2099 x reader #across the spiderverse #kat_writes😼#this gif is fucking crazy btw

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angelltheninth · 6 months

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Jealous Boyfriend Bakugo Misunderstands the Situation

Pairing: Bakugo Katsuki x Fem!Reader

Tags: fluff, misunderstandings, party, kissing, hickies, protectiveness, jealousy, Bakugo is really bad at feelings

Flufftober Day 13: Wrong

A/N: This one was easy cause Bakugo needs some flufftuber goodness after the shit he's been through.

Jealous!Bakugo appeared seemingly out of nowhere while you were talking to Deku and Eijiro. They were his friends so the murderous look he shot them made no sense to you or to them. This was your first time meeting his friends, some of which you admired a lot seeing as you had no Quirk of your own. Naturally he took on a protective role, even at this party he himself threw.

"Why ya talking to them so much eh? I'm glad you're getting along with them but I'm your boyfriend ya know? Did ya forget me already? Maybe ya could use a little reminder of who the best couple around here is. As for the two of ya, stop flirting with my girlfriend!"

Jealous!Bakugo locked his bedroom cause he didn't want anyone snooping around but now his bedroom is occupied by the two of you. His lips are on yours sooner then the door closes, your back on his bed, not even letting you get a word in as he kisses you, he's too set on showing you that he didn't like what he saw downstairs, he needs to make sure that when you go back you leave with visible kiss and suck marks on your neck.

"Didn't think they'd have the nerve to flirt with you in front of me. Pretty shameless if ya ask me. Could be just looking for a fight, which I would win of course. Ya'd cheer for me right? Of course ya would. Who else would be your number one?"

Jealous!Bakugo pauses when you start laughing so hard he hears it louder then the music blasting outside. He doesn't like that you're laughing when he's being 100% serious here. Worst yet you keep avoiding his attempts to kiss you in order to shut you up. The more he tries the more you laugh and it gets to the point that your lungs burn. As he's getting ready to kiss you again you hug him close to you, stunning him again.

"What's the big idea?! Think I'm not being serious? I'll kick anyone's ass for ya. Yeah, even Deku's, that little loser, I'll teach him to flirt with my girl. What? Why are you- he- they weren't? But you've been talking to them all night, I know cause I've left you with them and you haven't moved from your spot."

Jealous!Bakugo can feel his whole body burning up when you explain that his friends were actually talking about him for the most part. They didn't quite know you were dating so they were trying to make you see what a great guy he is under all that tough surface of his. You were about to tell them that he was your boyfriend when he interjected into the conversation. Both sides had the situation all wrong.

"Talking 'bout me huh? Heh, bet they had nice things to say. I hope, at least. Not gonna lie, not everyone thinks I'm that good of a guy. Those idiots, I swear I told them about us at some point. Ah, fuck, now I gotta- why did you let me drag you in here in the first place? You made me look like a jealous asshole."

#bakugou x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugo katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou x reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bnha #bnha x reader #mha x reader #bnha headcanon #mha headcanon #bakugou headcanon #bakugou fluff #flufftober #x female reader

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shoverse · 2 months

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what does love mean to you? — or, a record of lee minho's scattered and scrambled views on affection for oneself and others throughout the years.

🎧 lee minho, aged 7, audio transcript:

love? oh, mommy 'n daddy says that to me loads and loads! 'n mommy writes little notes and sticks them onto my lunchbox! i think i still have mine from today somewhere...here! haha, i always keep the notes mommy writes. i write some back too! err, just so she doesn't get mad if i haven't finished all the beans. well, it doesn't really work........do you know any ways?

🎧 lee minho, aged 13, audio transcript:

um, i think it means when you like someone loads, right? but you can also like them, uh, like-like and not love them...but i don't think i like-like anyone, not really. i love my mom! but it's different, like my friend changbin thinks he might like-like this other person in my class, i think his name is sehyeon? something like that. but there's this new person in my class, and maybe we could like-like each other if they don't already like-like someone else! um, not that i want to or anything. just a thought. yeah.

🎧 lee minho, aged 17, audio transcript:

it's kinda like...when your heart aches more than you'd like to admit, y'know? when you know you'd catch the stars in your bare hands and let them pierce your skin if someone you loved told you they liked how stars shine. oh, fuck, that's embarrassing, don't put that in. no, it's more like when, um, when you feel strongly about someone, and it doesn't have to be in a romantic way. i love my best friend changbin, but even if all the people in the world died and i would get infinite money and unlimited pizza i would not date him. anyway, i think i wanna. fall in love, that is.

🎧 lee minho, aged 20, audio transcript:

well, i met this girl, and i think she is love. um, but in the way that- well, i don't know how to explain it all that well. when something sits in the pit of your stomach but it's not fear and when something's caught in your throat but it's not tears. you get me? um, and i'm realising that it's fast, and i'm trying to keep up but it's just...hard sometimes to get us to work, to get her to listen to my feelings. maybe i feel too much? do you think so? yeah, love is hard work, but i'm holding out hope. what are we without hope?

🎧 lee minho, aged 21, audio transcript:

nothing. nothing at all.

🎧 lee minho, aged 22, audio transcript:

for me? love is my cats, definitely. please pretend i say something wise about eternal companions and hope and stars and puking out words like you'll run out of them if you stop. um, i'm trying to do this- self love? it's hard sometimes. that's all. but i know i have time. i know i'll have until the slow heat death of the universe to figure it out. or until one morning i wake up and i can smile at myself. yeah, life is good though. i think i'll stick to my cats for now. um, my hair was pretty this morning though, i gotta admit.

🎧 lee minho, aged 24, audio transcript:

still my cats, but i've made room for two more people. um, me, first of all. that one was hard, but time passes anyway. i'm still here, you know? and second- no, i couldn't possibly call them second. yeah it's, um, it's y/n. they weren't so hard. really, letting them in was the easiest decision of my life. um, but love is hope. not for a better relationship, but hope in a way where i hope that tomorrow will come. hope in a way that i hope the world is kind to us. anyway, love is slow. i mean, there's no rush. forever still has a long time to go. there is love everywhere, you know? i can feel it. this world is good.

🎧 lee minho, aged 25, audio transcript:

it's always this question, huh? no, i don't mind. anyway, there is so much love to give that i can't possibly tell you everything about love in a lifetime. yeah, love is still in y/n. i think it was always meant to be them, huh? can we believe that the world meant for us to be together? can we hope so? oh, of course we can. yeah, and i think everything happens for a reason. you weren't born as an accident, you know? this is your life and i'm proud that you're living it. oh, no metaphors this year. no, i realized that you can't really explain love in things. you can't really call love anything but love. tomorrow you will wake up and you will see there is so much beauty in life. yeah. see you next year.

📁 a/n; ANDDD SCENE EVERYBODY!!! THATS A WRAP!!! and yall dk how long it took me to find those goddamn aesthetic banners............GOD pinterest hates me i SWEAR. anyway if this flops i am officially Ending It All and Jumping. send tweet!

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wooahaes · 3 months

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dream a little dream with me

pairing: non-idol!jeonghan x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 9/13

word count: 4.7k~

warnings: skinship. food mentions. some slight angst.

daisy’s notes: oh to have a soulmate i meet with in my dreams...

summary: Jeonghan knows you. He might not know your face, but you’re the person in his dreams every night. And frankly… he’s pretty sure he’s already falling for you. He just has to figure out how to find you when the world won’t let him trade names or locations or anything he can actually use. At least he knows your favorite things…

"Hello...?"

Jeonghan was maybe thirteen when he finally met you for the first time, and you'd already proven him wrong with your existence alone. When he had turned ten, he expected to feel... something. To lose all the colors within his vision, or maybe he would feel your pain or something physical. A name, your first thoughts, your first words... Except he felt nothing. It'd upset him, sure--most people were upset by that kind of thing just on the account of being considered an outsider to their peers. Yet now he'd found himself in a museum filled with paintings he couldn't fully make out, and surrounded by people with blurry faces... Except for you.

He'd blinked. "Hello?"

And you lit up, making your way over to him. "You're...?"

Jeonghan had furrowed his brow, watching you carefully. Why could he see you...? "I'm Jeonghan," he had said, thinking that was what you meant.

You'd given him your given name, too--last name melting into white noise for a second. For a moment, you stood there, brimming with excitement. "We're--We're soulmates."

Immediately, he'd felt lighter at the revelation. "Oh!" Then he paused, brows drawing together once more as a follow-up thought pushed into his head immediately. "Why haven't we met before?"

He'd seen the way you grew more upset, gaze no longer meet his own. "I'm... It's complicated." You wrapped your arms around yourself. "I think... Our sleep schedules don't overlap?" You looked up. "I laid down to take a nap for a bit because I was feeling sick, so..."

So you weren't near him. He felt a sting of rejection, even though you hadn't said anything of the sort.. Emotions were weird at thirteen, after all, and something like his soulmate not being near him. Obviously, it wasn't your fault: you didn't pick where you lived. He looked around, and felt... awkward. It was different than meeting someone for the first time in reality. At least other people were around. Now, it just you and him in this dream together.

"Do you wanna talk?" He said after a moment. "Since... I don't know if I'll get to see you again."

"You aren't mad?"

He shook his head. "I just wish you were closer," he crossed his arms. "This isn't fair."

You frowned. "It's not... So let's talk."

The two of you strolled on your own, getting to know one another. He learned the country you were from, even though he wouldn't know what city or town you were in. He learned about this doughnut place in your hometown, though, that you loved to visit when you could. He told you school stories and about his own friends, about the pranks he'd pulled on his little sister... Little things to learn about one another. He learned your favorite color, you learned the foods he disliked...

And then all too soon, you had disappeared within seconds. He had called for you, only to realize that you must have woken up--or been woken up, since it was so sudden. When he woke up the next morning for school, he told his parents that he'd met his soulmate in his dreams (even though he couldn't fully remember your face once he was awake).

Thus began the cycle. He probably needed the naps he would start taking in an attempt to meet you again, but he'd grown used to pushing through his fatigue to work on schoolwork or to spend time with friends. Yet his parents always knew where he'd be when they came home from work, finding him asleep on his bed as he hoped to meet you again.

Sometimes it worked. Sometimes he could sit with you for a little while, long enough to see you off before you woke up for your own schooling. Other times, he'd get home far too late to see you. But every time the two of you met over the rest of your teenage years, you made it work. The two of you would talk more about yourselves, getting to know each other better. He learned how to tell when you were upset, and would let you vent if you needed to. You'd given him a space to talk freely about his own feelings, too: the things that made him happy, or the things that were worrying him in real life...

Most people didn't know about his 'other' life in his dreams. The one where the two of you would go on walks in a city, sometimes holding hands. He'd slowly begun to fall for you over time, realizing that the care you showed him was sweet. The two of you had been strangers years ago, and now he understood maybe that was why the two of you were soulmates.

When he tried to kiss you around eighteen, you stopped him.

"I wanna kiss you for real," you said to him, holding his hands. "I know it's unfair to ask you to wait for me, but--"

"I will." He hadn't hesitated. Although he had kissed a girl once before (he was fifteen, and he realized after he did it that he'd much rather be kissing the person in his dreams) and told you so, he'd held off on dating. He wanted to experience things with you.

You'd squeezed his hands. "You don't have to."

Were you rejecting him...? What if he started dating someone and he loved them more than he already loved you? Part of him felt like he knew he would leave that person if he met you face-to-face, and yet... That meant he would hurt someone else. He'd heard stories about soulmates who left partners to be with one another, and while they were happy, the people left behind grew to resent them. Could he really do that to another person?

"You don't want me to?" He'd pulled his hands from yours, feeling the tiny sting in his chest.

You shook your head. "No, I--I just don't want you to wait around for me forever. What if we never meet?"

But what if we do? Jeonghan felt his heart sink in his chest. "We will," he said. Jeonghan never considered himself a hopeless romantic, but he had the naivete of a eighteen-year-old on his side. "I'll find you. I promise."

Before you could say something, you had begun to fade again. You were waking up. "Jeonghan--"

And then you were gone.

The first person Jeonghan had told about you was one of his college roommates, Joshua. He'd been listening to the way he'd been venting about how he felt he was annoying his soulmate whenever he sang, and waited until Seungcheol left for class to finally admit it out loud. He'd tell Seungcheol, too, soon: he just... needed to do it at his own pace. Both of his roommates seemed like good people who wouldn't judge him, but he'd already decided. Joshua first, and then Seungcheol. Deciding on that had made it easier, especially since Seungcheol was the busier of the two.

"My soulmate and I share dreams," he had said, pushing around the noodles in his ramyeon cup.

Joshua looked up. "Oh. Really?"

He nodded. "We talk whenever we can. It's hard. They're not from here. Depending on when I take a nap, I can either talk to them for a while or just ten minutes..."

"It sounds hard," Joshua nodded along. He'd sat backwards in his chair, leaning against the back of it with his chest, arms folded over the top. "So what are you doing to find them?"

Jeonghan said nothing.

"... Aren't you going to look for them?"

Jeonghan's gaze flickered up from his food. "I don't know. I don't know if they actually want to be found."

"That's--"

"We talked about it last time we met, a little over a year ago." He pushed around noodles more, never actually eating. "I'm in love with them. I don't know how they feel, although they said they'd rather kiss me for real when we meet. Then they said not to wait for them."

"It sounds like they're in love with you, too," he said.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. "Then why tell me not to wait?"

"Well... They're not from here." Joshua rested his chin on his arms. "Maybe they don't want you to feel like you can't date or anything."

"Don't you think I've tried it before?" Jeonghan looked up. "After they said that, I tried to move on, and I spent the entire time comparing her to my soulmate. She's not them."

Joshua frowned. "Dude... If you spend the entire time comparing, them, you're not going to be happy--"

"I know that." Jeonghan let out a sigh. "I just... I tried being with other people. She wasn't the only girl I tried to date--or see at all." They're just my soulmate, and I realized how much I love them every time I try to be with someone else. But would Joshua understand that...? Or would he just sound over-dramatic for someone he'd never met in person?

"I... see." Joshua looked off. "I guess it's different when you know your soulmate."

Jeonghan softened a little when he saw the guilt on Joshua's face. "It's fine," he said. "I just... I wish I could go to them. I don't know where they are, exactly, and it's not like I can go find them."

Can't you? He pushed away the thought. The world was big. .He couldn't just go out and find you--at least, not without looking like a creep. As much as he wished he could just let go of that desire deep within him to be with you, even temporarily, he just couldn't. Not when he'd gotten to know you so deeply. He felt as though a part of him would always be with you now, and that he carried you with him wherever he went.

Joshua understood, though. He listened, and he gave Jeonghan his thoughts whenever he asked for him. Seungcheol would eventually do the same, once Jeonghan told him about his soulmate. Seungcheol hadn't shown any offense to not being told (it was Jeonghan's business, after all). And in the moments in-between, Jeonghan was with you in some way--either thoughts preoccupied with you or in the fleeting moments of sharing a dream space.

"I kissed someone," you confessed at one point. Jeonghan had been sitting underneath a tree with you, fashioning a flower crown out of the little yellow blossoms that littered the ground around him. You craned your neck to look at him, "Are you mad...?"

He shook his head. "Do you like this?"

At first, you didn't move, and he felt his heart falter. "I dunno," you confessed a moment later. "I feel like... Every person I meet, I keep comparing them to you. Like... Hannie would laugh at this joke. Or Hannie would think this. It's like... I can't get you out of my head."

His heart skipped a beat this time as he stared at you, his face growing redder by the second. "... Really?"

"I... I dunno. It's just--I don't want you to think I'm some sort of loser when we meet."

When. Not if. "So you want to find me?"

He saw the way you grew more flustered, eyes landing anywhere but him as you pushed yourself up so that you were sitting. "Yes. Are you mad?" You finally met his gaze. "I mean... I think I hurt you before. When I told you not to wait for me? And we never talked about it, so..."

Jeonghan set the flower crown into his lap, reaching out to cup your cheek. "I'm not mad," he said softly. "Not anymore."

"So you were mad."

He nodded a little after a moment. "At first..." He drew his hand back, shifting over so that he could sit closer to you. "At first I was hurt," he said, "because I thought you didn't want to find me. And... And I really wanted to kiss you, so I thought you were rejecting me, and.. I talked to my friends about it and they told me that it was alright to feel hurt, but that I was making assumptions about how you felt. So..." He dropped his hand down, pressing his palms into the grass. "How do you feel?"

"I've always wanted to meet you," you said outright. "But... I was talking to a few friends, and they kept asking questions about where you lived, and whether we'd get the chance to meet. It felt kinda mean," you moved closer, pressing your back against the tree, so that you could sit next to Jeonghan. "Like... They don't get a guarantee that they'll meet their soulmates. What makes us different?"

"Well, we know each other," he said, hand slipping into your own. "It's easier to accept things if you don't know your soulmate."

"I guess," you nodded along. "But... I dunno, it just made me anxious that we'd never be able to find each other."

"We will," Jeonghan said softly. "We'll make it work. I want to try."

Your hand curled around his, squeezing it tighter. "I want to try, too," you said, firm in what you were committing to. "Hannie?" You paused for a moment, "Jeonghan...? I want to be with you. I know we've never met in person, but can we...?"

He nodded. "Yes," he breathed out, reaching his other hand up to turn your face toward him. "May I...?"

You closed the distance between the two of you. It left him wondering if your lips would be this soft in reality. The last thing he heard was the sound of you saying his name, about to say something else when he found himself back in his couch, heart racing in his chest. He had jolted forward, fully awake out of nowhere, enough that it alerted Joshua and Seungcheol. The two were sitting at their little dinner table when they turned to see Jeonghan.

"... Bad dream?" Joshua called out.

Jeonghan just bolted to his bedroom, shutting himself in as he processed what all just happened. You kissed him. You wanted to be more. You wanted to find him.

And, fuck, he was going to do anything to find you now.

Most people gave Jeonghan weird looks when he explained his relationship to them. Yes, he hadn't met you in real life yet. No, it didn't really do anything to the relationship--it limited your dates, sure, but you had fun manipulating the dreamscape together to go wherever you wanted to go. Amusement parks with no waits for the rides, or this little cafe in your hometown, or a lovely park at night that Jeonghan walked through alone and wished you were there with him in reality. There were plenty of downsides, sure--neither of you could taste the food that you were eating, or feel the wind on your face--but you made it work and resolved to live these out once you found your way to each other. Sometimes people tried to challenge him: how could he have a relationship entirely with someone in his dreams? Didn't he miss the physical contact?

Which... The answer was a resounded 'yes,' but also it was none of their business. The two of you made it work, end of story. He'd eventually had a friend circle that accepted his relationship with his soulmate, although he'd become insistent that (when Seungkwan met his soulmate) his experience didn't count. That the two of you had agreed that your 'day one' of your relationship would be the day that you met face to face, just to make it easier to pin down a date. Everyone else had a date they could use as an anniversary, and you... Well, you and Jeonghan were different.

Although things had changed years later. All he knew at first was that he went to sleep one night, and you were there.

"... Jeonghan?"

And he'd stared at you, your name slipping from his mouth as he rushed over to you. "Are you sick again?" He frowned. "Honey, I wish I could be there to--"

"No, I... I moved. Remember?"

Right. You... You told him that you were moving for a job opportunity. It'd saddened him a little in the moment because both of you knew it'd make meeting harder, and yet all of that seemed to fade away in an instant.

"So you're...?" He didn't want to speak it aloud. What if it weren't true? What if...?

You nodded slowly. "I think... I'm closer," you said. "I'm in--"

The next few words seemed to dissolve into nothing, like his brain refused to register them. Jeonghan took your face into his hands, tears wetting his cheeks as he shook his head. Why can't it just work? Why can't their connection just let them have this now? You were closer to him. That should mean that the two of you can freely talk, and yet all he could hear was muffled words that he couldn't make out at all.

"We can't," he said, "we'll just... We'll have to find a way without saying names."

It broke his heart every time he saw you cry, and this time was worse. You nodded, though, hands coming up to hold his. "We'll find a way," you said. "Saturdays. I'll... I'll wait for you somewhere." Another name became muffled when you spoke it aloud, and you loudly swore as you broke away from him. "Coffee," you said, turning to him. "I'll... I'll always go to the same place near--" Again, your voice cut out. "Fuck--Just start looking, and--and we'll figure it out if it doesn't work."

"You'll stay there?" He watched you carefully. "All day?"

An eager nod, motivated by how close the two of you were now. "All day. Every Saturday until I find you."

And so it began.

Jeonghan... truly underestimated how many coffee places existed in this fucking city. But he went out every Saturday morning and spent hours upon hours searching for you. For months, that search came up empty. Joshua had offered to help, but Jeonghan turned both he and Seungcheol (and everyone, for that matter) down. He needed to find you himself. Maybe it was hubris, or maybe it was because he wanted to be the first one to meet you... He wasn't exactly sure anymore. A mix of both, perhaps. You could meet his friends in time, but Jeonghan didn't want anyone else to see you in person before he did. He'd known you this long. He'd been with you this long. He needed to be the first one to see you.

Three months ago, Chan met his soulmate. How much longer would it take for Jeonghan to find you? He approached the last place on his list for today, night having already fallen upon him. Maybe he'd change places with you, and have you running around looking for him. He'd try to pick somewhere more niche, though, just to make it easier on you. Jeonghan tucked his hands into his jacket pocket, staring down at his phone as he followed the directions to this place. It was a little out of the way, but maybe if he made it in time, he'd be able to swing by the bigger place not far from there. It closed earlier, sure, but it usually had way more foot traffic from what he could tell.

The thought that had been haunting him hit him again: would you even like him when you saw him in person? It'd been something stupid that popped into his head one Saturday a month ago, but it still shook him a little more than he expected. He'd seen you in so, so many dreams; he'd been with you, dating you, and yet it felt like there was a degree of separation. Those were his dreams with you, this was the real world where other people would get in the way. Where he couldn't just go to that cafe in your hometown with you, giggling about a silly joke one of you cracked, without having to travel to get there. He'd confessed his fears to Joshua once day, and Joshua had just stared at him.

"But you're in love with them."

"I know, but what if they don't love me once they see me?" Jeonghan had been curled up on Joshua's couch that night, a blanket draped around him. He toyed with the edge of it, fingers curling around the plush material. "It's different, I think."

Joshua pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh my god. You're so stupid."

"Hey--"

"Jeonghan." Joshua turned, entirely serious as he leaned in, "They love you, dumbass. I know your dreams are magical or whatever, but they still like being with you. You told me they trust you enough to cry on you and tell you about how bad work was, or about friend troubles, or enough to just say they need to cry because of stress. If things change when they see you, they weren't really in love with you. Dreams are whatever--you're still you."

Jeonghan had said nothing at first, letting the words sink in. Then when he looked up, he saw Joshua looking off into the distance, eyes fluttering shut for a moment. "They're singing, aren't they?"

Joshua cracked a smile. Jeonghan knew him well enough. "It's quiet," he said, "but... Yeah. They are."

Jeonghan knew that while Joshua was the one who sang more often in his relationship, he truly loved whenever his soulmate would sing. He knew that Joshua had told them that, and they chose to indulge him in it a little more often. Jeonghan should take a video or a picture of this and send it to them: you broke your soulmate, btw, come get him. Then again... Joshua definitely had ammunition of his own. Videos of times where Jeonghan had woken up in a pleasant mood because he'd gone on a date with you yet again, always ending with Joshua telling the camera that he was ready for the two of you to meet already.

At the end of the street on the left. Jeonghan had begun to hurry at this point, already feeling his heart sinking in his chest. No. No, no, no, fuck--The lights were out, and no one was inside despite the website saying that this place stayed open for another two hours. There had been a piece of paper taped up on a window that said something about one of the coffee machines breaking down and causing a big enough mess that they'd have to close for the night. Shit. What if this had been the one? What if you were inside when the coffee machine broke, spraying hot coffee everywhere? What if you had been burned? Jeonghan wanted to kick himself for not getting here sooner, but he looked at the other shop that closed in less than ten minutes. Fuck. Next Saturday for sure. Maybe that would be the one.

He did what he always did. He called Joshua, and told him that, yet again, he had failed to find you.

"Aw. I'm sorry, dude," Joshua had said. "Are you sure you don't want us to help out?"

Before Jeonghan could respond, Seungcheol had spoken up, "We will! Just tell us where to go, and we'll find them. There's too many places for you to do it on your own. Stop being stubborn about this."

Jeonghan chuckled softly, glad that he had friends who cared so deeply about him. "No, it's fine. We'll find each other soon. I can feel it. We'll talk about it tonight and see if they can give me any details."

Of course, you hadn't before. Whatever was keeping the two of you from finding each other made sure of that. But they didn't need to know how many failed attempts Jeonghan had made at this point.

"Are you sure?" Seungcheol sighed. "I just don't want you to feel like you need to do this alone. We're all here for you. If you say the word to Seungkwan--"

Another warm chuckle. "He'll storm every shop himself," Jeonghan said. "That's why I haven't told anyone else yet. You know Mingyu would go out searching without telling any of us."

"You sound exhausted," Joshua spoke up after a moment. "Want one of us to pick you up?"

"I'll just take the bus. I think I'll plan my next move during the ride." Jeonghan tucked his other hand back into his pocket. He needed the time to lick his wounds and pick himself back up, too. "Maybe... I'll figure out a new plan."

"Just call me if you change your mind," Seungcheol said. "Get home safely."

"I will," Jeonghan said, and ended the call. He shoved his phone into his pocket, and let out a sigh.

Okay. Another failed Saturday. Jeonghan wouldn't lose hope, though: he'd find you soon enough. It wouldn't be as soon as he planned, but he would find you, and he would kiss you, and he'd never let anything tear the two of you apart like this ever again. Even with work trips and vacations and whatnot, Jeonghan would be happy to see your face again outside of his dreams.

The bus had slowed to a stop, and Jeonghan climbed on before taking a seat near the back. He leaned against the window, watching the city crawl by once the bus had lurched forward again. If the two of you could pick something less common, maybe you'd find one another sooner. He leaned against the window, watching the city crawl by as his eyelids began to droop. Next Saturday. He hugged himself tighter. Next Saturday would be the day. He had to find you then. Or maybe it was time to let his friends help him find you. What was the point of being stubborn about it all when he was taking away days he could be falling in love with you all over again?

"Hello...?"

He must have dozed off on the bus again, the sound of your voice making him open his eyes.

"Hey, sorry to bother you, but when's your stop?"

You must have been teasing him again. "Wherever you want it to be," he said, the words rolling off his tongue as easily as they always do. It was always easy to say such things to you. He looked up, and pauses, mind fuzzy for a moment. "Sorry, I thought you were my..."

And then it's clear. There you stood in front of him, one hand gripping the seat next to him and the other on the one in front of it. Your eyes widened as realization hit you, and Jeonghan was already rising out of his seat. The bus driver yelled something back at the two of you, but Jeonghan wasn't listening. And it seemed like you weren't, either.

"Good morning, Hannie," you teased lightly, already smiling at him.

Jeonghan only leaned in, thrilled that you closed the distance between the two of you. He cupped your face in his hands, nose brushing against yours as he tasted something sweet on your lips. Tea, he thought, or maybe some sort of dessert involving matcha or something. Your body was warm underneath his touch and so much more real than he'd ever dreamed of. But what about you? Did he live up to your dreams?

"I love you," he said softly when he drew back. Emotions surged in his chest: relief, joy, love. The freedom of no longer having to search for you crashed over him in waves, and he felt himself tear up. He roughly wiped his face on his sleeve, sniffling as he tried to hold back now. This wasn't how he wanted either of you to remember your first meeting, with him about to sob.

Yet all it took was seeing you cry for him to break, pulling you into his arms as he held you tight. The bus driver yelled back again, and he just reached back frantically, pressing the button to signal for the two of you to get off as soon as you could. And he left with you, hand in hand, as the two of you stepped out underneath the stars, already falling in love with one another all over again.

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#wooahaes.fic #seventeen x reader #seventeen imagine #svt x reader #svt imagine #seventeen x you #svt x you #jeonghan x reader #yoon jeonghan x reader #jeonghan x you #jeonghan fluff #jeonghan x y/n #yoon jeonghan fluff

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Please Please Please: Chapter 13

Summary: Y/N is only a child when she and Tommy Shelby meet. The two quickly become best friends as they grow up in Small Heath. As the years go by, Y/N and Tommy know there may be more to their friendship than they originally thought.

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Y/N

A/N: Final chapter my friends! Thanks for reading this, it means a lot to me. Enjoy <3 Also for those who are curious, the title of this fic is based off The Smiths song, "Please Please Please, Let Me Get What I Want". Give it a gander if you haven't.

Previous chapter

Year: 1924

Her curls did not want to sit properly on her shoulders. Y/N had been standing in front of her mirror now for twenty minutes, focusing on the strands of hair that would not cooperate. They seemed to be skewing and frizzing in directions she could not control. Even running a comb to loosen the curls did not seem to do the job. Finally, Y/N sighed and let her hands fall to her sides, accepting that this was the mess that was her hair that day.

She just wanted to be perfect. She had to be.

A day like this is one that sticks in someone's mind for a long time and she must leave a favorable impression. Or at least pass as somewhat graceful, especially in the wake of what has happened.

“Mummy!” Her daughter’s shout reverberated through the house, interrupting Y/N’s racing thoughts. It may be for the best that she approached this day with her mind as a blank slate. That was what this day was, blank and with zero expectations. If it was anything else to her, it couldn’t be. One may say that was cruel and unfeeling. Y/N didn’t really know anymore.

“Coming sweetheart,” Y/N shouted back, dabbing a final blot of red lipstick upon her lip before heading out of her bedroom door. When she entered Jane’s room, she saw the little girl in her PJs still, holding a doll in each hand. Jane looked up at her mother, using the doll to gesture towards her.

“Play with me, Mummy.” Y/N let out a sigh before heading to her daughter’s bed, holding up the dress she laid out for Jane.

“Janey, I told you to put this dress on,” Y/N said, annoyance mixing into her voice. Jane frowned, fixating back on her dolls.

“I don’t want to,” Jane stated, as if the conversation was over.

“Well, you have to.” Y/N retorted tiredly, not wanting to argue with her five year old daughter.

“No,” Jane whined, standing up and throwing the dolls to the floor.

“Yes,” Y/N responded, “We have to leave in ten minutes or we’re going to be late.”

“I don’t want to go,” Jane screamed, the tantrum on the precipice of beginning. Y/N could feel frustration simmering in her gut as she bent down to her daughter’s height.

“I know you don’t want to, love, but there’s no one to watch you,” Y/N said, placing a hand on her daughter’s arm, “Plus, you don’t want Mummy to be alone today, do you? She’s going to miss you so much.” Her daughter’s face softened immediately, as if the idea of her mother being all alone was the worst thing imaginable. Jane quickly shook her head, grabbing the dress from her mother’s hands.

“No, I don’t want you to be lonely.” Y/N nodded at this, feeling that with each day that goes by, she is becoming more and more like her own mother. The guilt tripping was beginning early. Y/N helped pull the dress over Jane’s head and took her daughter in. She truly was the best thing in your life.

“Ready to go?” Y/N asked. Jane answered with a nod. Y/N gave her daughter a smile before taking her and leading the two of them out the door. It was too nice out today to drive, so Y/N decided to let them walk. It wasn’t the farthest walk in the world, only twenty minutes away. The weather seemed to put Jane in a better mood as she began skipping down the road of Small Heath. Looking down at her daughter, Y/N couldn’t help but see herself. This was about the age she was when she moved to Small Heath. This was the age she was when her life changed and she still isn’t sure if it was for the worse or the better. Regardless, William would be so proud of their little girl.

The walk went by quickly and soon they were there. It was a small funeral, smaller than Y/N expected, especially since the deceased was a well loved member of town. Y/N and Jane went into the church and were greeted by a closed casket as well as a beautiful portrait of her, Grace. The barmaid from that day all those years ago. Y/N stood and examined every inch of it, taking in the soft blue eyes and the quaffed blonde hair. Tommy did pick a beautiful wife.

To be honest, Y/N still wasn’t entirely sure why she was here. She and Tommy hadn’t spoken since that day five years ago. It was probably for the best, even if Y/N had spent many nights dreaming up conversations with her best friend. She played back that last night in her head, wondering what would’ve happened if she let him stay. She sighed to herself, squeezing her daughter’s hand gently.

Deep down, Y/N knew why she was here. He was her best friend and, even if he wasn’t there on the worst day of her life, she had to be there for him. A tear pricked the corner of her eye as she pushed that thought down as people began to file into the church.

“Come on, sweetheart, let’s take a seat.” At that, the woman and her daughter went to one of the back pews and took a seat. The two of them observe the service from afar. They weren’t family and they were barely friends anymore.

Loved one after loved one spoke about Grace, remembering the wonderful woman that she was. The event seemed to almost drag on until Tommy finally rose. Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as he looked out at the crowd. She hoped he wouldn’t see her as she tried to hunch into the pew.

He cleared his throat of tears before speaking, “I didn’t think this day would come. The day I would have to say goodbye to my Grace,” His voice wavered slightly but he continued, “But here we are. Grace, I love you beyond words and I will miss you for the rest of my life.” At that, he was done and he was seated. It was short but sometimes that’s all you can say when your spouse suddenly dies.

Soon after this, everything came to a close. Y/N and Jane rose quickly and began to head out. Tommy didn’t need to know she was here. As she’s about to make her way out the door, she felt a hand on her shoulder. She froze, not sure if she should look at who was behind her.

“Hello, love,” she relaxed at that voice. Arthur. She turned around and brought the man into an embrace.

“Arthur Shelby, it’s been too long,” she felt his hands go around her waist and hold her close. He then pulled away, putting his hands on both her shoulders, taking her in.

“Each time I see you, you just get more and more beautiful,” Y/N couldn’t help but roll her eyes at his comment. His gaze then moves to the little girl attached to her mother’s hip. He bends down, going eye to eye with the child.

“And you must be Jane, you look just like your mum,” Jane, usually not a shy girl, hides in Y/N’s skirt. Y/N gave a small chuckle as she looked back at Arthur.

“She’s not usually like this,” Arthur shrugged.

“It’s not every day a little girl has to go to a funeral.” Arthur stopped himself short before he could say anything else. He looked into Y/N’s eyes to see if he touched a nerve and noticed the slight sadness that entered and left her face. It was just a moment, but anyone who knew Y/N would’ve noticed. He cleared his throat awkwardly before continuing, “I’m sorry again about William.”

Y/N’s gaze immediately went to the corner of the room. This was a discussion she was used to having at this point. It had been three years since she lost her husband, but the wound still hurt. It was like the scab got peeled back and slowly picked at until blood started to flow.

Y/N let her hand fidgets with her skirt as she tried to look back at Arthur, “It’s alright, it’s been years now.” Arthur takes her hand from her skirt.

“That doesn’t make it any less awful,” He gave her hand a squeeze, “The least I can do is ask you back for drinks at Arrow House. I’m sure the rest of the family would want to see you.”

“Arthur, I’m not sure-”

“I won’t take no for an answer.” Y/N sighs, considering what the next part of her day would look like. Before she knew it, she was on the grounds of Arrow House. It really wasn’t a house though, a mansion was a more apt word for what this estate was. Even though the home could’ve fit hundreds of people in it, only a couple were there now. Family and Y/N and Jane, but Tommy nowhere in sight.

Everyone seemed to disperse around the house, including Jane who went off with Ada’s boy, Karl. Y/N tried to schmooze with the Shelby family, but couldn’t help her eyes from wandering. She had to find Tommy. She knew he was somewhere in this mansion. There was no way he wasn’t. So, when people seemed distracted, she left the crowd and began searching. It didn’t take a lot of exploring before she noticed a door with a light peaking through the bottom. Her curiosity didn’t allow her to knock; she reached for the doorknob, pushing the door open.

Y/N was correct in her assumption because there Tommy was, head in his hands as he sat hunched at his desk. She knew she should make her presence known. She knew the least she could do is say hello. It would force him to look up and acknowledge her. But that’s not what she did. She couldn’t because all she saw was the boy with the baseball from all those years ago broken into millions of pieces. Her feet led her right to him and her body did what it had to. She scurried over, taking him into her arms.

His instinct was to twitch away, even try to swat at the random hands but then he saw her. Even though it was years, he couldn’t help but lean in. He knew it could’ve been decades, even lifetimes and he would always lean into her touch.

“Y/N.” The word came out in the timbre of a whisper, but Y/N heard it. It was her Tommy, how could she not?

“Tommy.” His arms wrapped tightly around her waist as her hand went into his hair, stroking it. “I’m so sorry.”

She waited for Tommy to respond, but he didn’t say anything. He just held her. So she let him. She let him take her in like she had so many times before and she felt a semblance of peace. Maybe for the first time in a long time. Minutes ticked by like this before Y/N felt Tommy move. She looked down at him to see him rising to his feet. Soon, her hands were on her cheeks as he gazed into her eyes.

“I can’t believe you came,” he whispered. Y/N couldn’t help but lean her forehead against his. He let her.

“You’re my best friend, Tommy,” she responded, her voice quivering, “it’s what best friends do.” She felt him twitch at that, knowing she may have accidentally hit a nerve.

“You can’t say that, Y/N,” the volume of his voice began to rise, “when William died I was nowhere to be seen. I left you alone like a fucking coward.”

“Don’t say that,” Y/N soothed, but Tommy pulled away.

“No, I will,” Tommy said, running a hand through his hair in frustration, “Your fucking husband died and I couldn’t put my ego aside long enough to see you.”

Y/N stood in silence, watching him, taking in his words. At the time of William’s funeral, Y/N was half a woman. Not even, she was not even one percent of who she used to be. She was all alone with a toddler and a restaurant, unsure of how the next day would go. And despite all of that, she wished she could cry in Tommy’s arms. She also wanted to punch his chest in frustration.

When she received the news of Grace’s death, she was ready to stay home. To spend a day like any other day, until she got a knock at her door. When she opened it, Polly stood before her, more sullen than Y/N had seen her in years.

“Polly, what are you doing here?”

“Hello, Y/N,” she said, letting herself in. She took off her gloves and took in the home quickly, before continuing, “I wish I could’ve come with better news but…” she trailed off before continuing, “Tommy’s wife died.”

Y/N’s hand instinctively flew to her chest, “Oh god, that’s awful, what happened?” And Polly explained the series of events of the last few years and the rise to power the Peaky Blinders had come to which, inevitably, led to Grace’s death.

“I’m so sorry Pol, what a terrible thing to happen,” Y/N said, “Please send my condolences to Tommy, I’m sure he needs it more than ever right now.” Y/N had expected the conversation to be over now, but Polly didn’t move.

“He needs you, Y/N. More than ever.” Y/N averted her gaze from Polly. The last thing she wanted to do was see Tommy.

Y/N let out a sigh before saying, “Polly, I’m not sure that’s a great idea. Besides, he didn’t come to William’s funeral and that was-”

“I know, but you have to realize he couldn’t.” Polly’s hand went to Y/N’s, giving it a squeeze, “He may seem like a man who is invincible, but with you… it’s different. He becomes that little boy again. You’re more than he is and I think he knows that.”

And those words stuck with Y/N, especially here in Tommy’s office. She didn’t care about his ego anymore or the jealousy or any of that bullshit. All she knew was he needed her. So she reached out to him, hoping he would come.

“It’s the past now, Tom.” The words shocked him and seemed to surprise her as well, but anger had to leave at some point. “You’re my best friend, you always have been and you always will be.”

So he goes to her, pulling her into his arms. Even after all this time, they still fit like puzzle pieces. True, they were a bit more jagged now, but they still were perfect matches.

“I love you, Y/N,” She knew those words were real.

“I love you too.” And slowly, they knew that one day, they could heal.

End

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munsonsprincess11111 · 4 months

Text

Somethings off

Eddie munson x reader

Summary: Eddie is sat at the lunch table alone with no you in sight. When he goes defensive when yours and his friend's ask where you are they need to get to the bottom of it immediately.

Quiet. Eddie munson was never quiet. But when his friends approached there usual lunch table he was starring off into space. You was no where to be seen so Dustin asked the simple question of "HEY Eddie wheres y/n" Eddie's eyes darted to Dustin like he'd just told him he hates him

"Off sick why should I know." HE answers opening his metal lunch box picking out pieces of popcorn. Usually he'd throw them in the air and attempt to catch them in his mouth. But today he was pushing his food around.

"Usually you know she's your girlfriend was just a question man." Mike answered noticing his annoyance towards Dustin. "It's not my business. I'm noy always stuck up her ass you know." Eddie says to the boys. He closes his lunch box and walks off.

"Were getting to the bottom of thos right?" Dustin askes Mike. "100%"

The next day

"Y/N EXACTLY WHO WE NEED." Dustin yells down the hall at you. Him and Mike running over to you as you switch your books around. You go to say hello but are interrupted by Mike before you can speak.

"Have you seen or spoken to Eddie today?" Mike askes.

"NO I haven't seen or spoken to Eddie today why-"

"What about yesterday?" Dustin askes cutting you off.

"Nope not then either I was off-"

"When was the last time you saw or spoke to Eddie?" Mike interrupts this time

"Uhh last saw him Friday spike to him on the phone on Sunday. What's wrong-" you get cut off by dustin

"How was he-" but you cut him off

"Alright stop cutting me off. What is wrong with you 2 wanna explain what all the questions are about." You ask crossing your arms across your chest.

"Yesterday we asked Eddie where you was and he was pissed when we asked ans said he didn't know cause he's not always stuck up your ass and then stormed off. We tried to talk to him earlier but he ignored us so we wanted to walk to you because Eddie's giving us nothing." Mike says then taking a deep breath

"I was off yesterday cause something happend Saturday and I was hurting. And before you ask. Girl stuff. Eddie was fine then I don't know whats wrong with him." You say closing your locker.

The two boys look at eachother and are thinking. You pick your bag up. "We know where Eddie's parked. Maybe he's in the van and we could go talk to him?" Dustin askes.

You nod and the boys lead the way to where Eddie parked. It was a short walk but the boys blabberd the hole time about whay could've been wrong with Eddie. You decided they should knock incase he was annoyed at you.

Dustin banged on the side door of his van. "Eddie open the door we wanna talk." NO answer. Mike's turn "if you don't open the door were gonna get Gareth and he's way more annoying." Then there's movement from the van

"What the fuck do you two wa-" he cuts himself off when he opens the door snd sees you stood there behind the boys. He stares at you like a 13 year old boy that's just seen his crush up close for the first time.

"I thought-" he tries to speak but you cut him off.

"You thought I was off school for the week so went pissy with everyone?" You ask crossing your arms over your chest.

Eddie nods "that and other stuff but mainly that."

"That's why you didn't answer my calls?"

Eddie nods.

"Your an asshole eds you know that?"

He nods.

"Get your ass out the van."

He jumps out the side door of the van pulling it closed. He pushed Dustin aside using his shoulder and walks the few steps to you. Wrapping his arms around your waist and holding you tight. Your arms go around his neck. "Dads back in town." HE whispers in your ear. You nod your head as you hold Eddie.

"HE wants to see me but I want there when he went to the trailer but he's gonna be after school today." HE whispers again.

"Want me to come to?" You whisper in his ear. His arms tighten around you and he nods burying his face into your neck. "Dustin Mike ill talk to you both tomorrow." The boys get the hint at your words and scurry back off to school.

"WHY didn't you talk to me?" You ask and all you get is a shrug. You let him go and walk to the van. "Wanna go home?" You ask

He walks over opening the door for you tk get in and nods. "Will you take me to the store to get tampons and chocolate first?" You ask smiling up at him.

He let's out a laugh and is smiling. "Ofcourse I will baby." You smile back at him

"There's my boy." You kiss his cheek hoping into the van."

----------------------------------------------------

Eddie's dad's visit wasn't fun. Eddie's leg was bouncing the hole time. But you kept holding his hand and trying to calm him without words. All his dad wanted was his help. Eddie declined. Even after his dad trying to persuade him. Wayne then stepped in. Eddie's dad was rude to Eddie and Wayne. Told Eddie stuff like he was a failure. He's no son of his. And other horrible things.

Now your laying in Eddie's bed with him. His head on your chest. Your arms wrapped around him. One of his legs over your's while one yours is in-between his. "I am so fucking proud of you." You whisper kissing Eddie's head.

"Thank you. For everything. For being there for me the hole time n now. I'm sorry I was an asshole." HE says kissing your chest.

"You had every right to be." You say kissing his head.

"I love you so much." HE says kissing your chest again

"I love you so much too" you mumble kissing his head.

You begin to drift off but then Eddie starts giggling. You open your eyes to see his face.

"What's so funny babe?" You ask looking at him confused. He sniffles his laugh and looks you in the eyes. "I kissed your boob twice." HE says then burying his face into your chest laughing. You try do your best fake disappointed face but your smirking. "Never change Eddie munson. Life would be so boring if you listened to everyone." You say letting out a laugh.

"Trust me didn't change when my dad left fir the 3rd time definitely won't this time or cause people say I'm weird and besides by being a freak it just brings up my bedroom status. Absolute freak in the sheets." HE laughs kissing you boob again making a loud kissing noise.

-----------------------------------‐--------------------‐-

The next day you and Eddie walk Into lunch hand in hand and Eddie is all smiles again. He pulls your chair out for you and you sit next to him. He pulls your chair next to him and puts his arm around your shoulder. Dustin and Mike High five eachother. Eddie just rolls his eyes and let's the boys think they made all this happen.

Everyone at the table is chattering. "You know.. " You whisper playing eith Eddie's necklace as he throws popcorn in the air. "What?" HE askes.

"I'm off my period...." You look up at him. He looks down at you. "REALLY?!?" HE half yells and his friends look at you both.

You nod. He shrugs you off of him standing up. He closes his lunch box and picks it up. All your friends are watching him. He grabs you hands and pulls you up. Your barely on your feet as he throws you over his shoulder. "Eddie!" You yelp at his unexpected action.

"Eddie where are you going." Mike askes.

"To have My lunch." HE says turning back to the table.

"You just was sit down." Dustin says looking at Eddie confused.

"NO. My lunch." HE says playfully biting your thigh. You slap his ass as he does this. "Your disgusting." Gareth says as Eddie walks off.

"What's that loner? Couldn't here you over all the sex I'm about to get." Eddie shouts back to Gareth giving him the middle finger still gold you on his shoulder and his tin lunch box.

All your friends gag and groan some even shouting his name at him. You just keep starting at Eddie back refusing eye contact.

"Embarrased?" Eddie askes as you exit the cafeteria.

"Sorry what was that couldn't hear Any of that over all the sex I'm about to get." You say quoting Eddie slapping his ass. He puts you down to look you in the eyes. "I love you so fucking much. Your awesome." HE says kissing you sweetly. He hands you his lunch box.

"I love you so fucking much too." You say smiling at him. Before you know it your back over his shoulder but holding his lunch box on the way to his van so he can drive you both to the trailer for that amazing sex that you both promised eachother.

#eddie m #eddie munson thoughts #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie smut #eddie x reader #eddie x you #rockstar eddie munson #eddie my beloved #eddie stranger things

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12-seconds-to-live · 8 months

Text

What If?

Pairing: F1Grid2021! x reader driver!

This is the story of how neither Max Verstappen or Lewis Hamilton became F1 Champions in 2021.

A girl did.

“What does it feel to be the villian of this season?” “This villian is going to be a world champion”

Abu Dhabi, december 12th - 16:30

"Are you scared?”

Tik tok, tik tok

I was able to hear the clock tickling on my motorhome.

A breathe

The eyes of George looking at me

“No, I’m not”

Yes, you are

“You got this and If you don’t...” I sigh

“Please don’t finish that phrase”

“Sorry, it’s just...”

“I know, there’s a lot on the plate but you know. I don’t have many options right now”

George take my hand “You’re really talented and the best option is winning and you’re making the impossible, like, in a Williams. You’re more clever that all those who want to see you fall. And for next year, did they called you?”

“Not yeat, I guess they’re waiting for the race”

“They’ll look like fools If they don’t call” We share a small laugh

“Thank you for this year, Mercedes is lucky to have you, Lewis will” He smiled

“I’ll still see you from the other side” We stand from the sofa and share a hug “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow”

Abu Dhabi, december 12th - 17:50

"Radio check"

"Loud and clear"

"We are all with you... whatever happens at the end, you're our champion, Williams is back thanks to you and George"

"Thank you, I need to hear that"

"Formation lap in one minute"

LAP 35/58

"Gap at 0.4 behind Lewis. So let’s just…"

"Why is Verstappen pushing me off-track"

"Yeah, yeah copy we aren´t happy with that. They're investigating"

"I'm gotta go menu dash position two. Tell them that he can't have the position back"

LAP 45/58

"Hamilton 26.8, 26.8. And let us know about the tyres for a Safety Car"

"How many laps left?"

"13 when you cross the line, 13 when you cross the line. Gap to Hamilton at 13.9"

"Copy. I'm ok with a set of hards. Do we have a chance?"

"I know you do. Stay still kid"

LAP 50/58

"And we’ve seen Norris with a front-left puncture, so just be careful on the kerbs"

"So we think the problem might be just turn 15, turn 16"

"I’m off kerbs"

"Okay, copy"

"Lewis still has free air"

"The gap is seven seconds and there’ll be eight to go when you cross the line"

"Copy. Status of Lando?"

"He's out of the car and well"

LAP 58/58

I crossed the line and saw all the fireworks over the finish line. I felt different, something like never before, not like winning in Monaco or Monza. I'm a world champion, the first woman of many.

I watched the people in the crowd weaving at me. I heard the screaming over the radio and while I was slowing down I felt tears runing down my face.

"I'm absolutely speechless. YOU DID IT! Thank you, we love you. Our world champion!"

"Oh, my God yes! Yes, yes! Oh, my God! Oh my God!"

"Y/N! I TOLD YOU SO! You are the world champion, the world champion!"

"GEORGE!? This is ours! WE DID IT!

"You absolutely deserve it, kid. Even if you're not going to stay with us next year, we owe you everything! What a year working alongside you"

"They haven't called so..."

"Are you kidding? The news dropped before the race. You're going to be alongside Max next year"

"No freaking way!"

"We are so proud of you. We always will"

"Oh, my God guys. I love you so much. From my teammate, my race engineer and everyone at the factory"

"You have driven like a champion all year. You deserve that. We needed a bit of luck. You got it. You made it happen. And we love you. We absolutely fucking love you" said George and the whole screaming in the garage was getting louder

"It is unbelievable guys. Can we repeat this If you guys want me in the future?"

After the whole podium celebration with Lewis and Max, one thing was clear. Max didn't win his first championship and Lewis lost his eight. My phone was blowing with messages from social media and my family and friends. But my eyes we're locked with Anthony Hamilton chat.

I knew that Lewis wasn't ok. He hugged his dad and even I can't see his face, he cried. He remains stronger on the podium but I can't look at him in the eyes.

I walked to the Mercedes motorhome. Toto was talking to George and stand up at the moment he saw me.

"I'm sorry"

"You don't have to. You drive so well this season that all of us knew that maybe we could lose"

"Oh. Did you guys talk?"

"Yeah, a few words. We have time"

"I'm gonna see him, it's just... I don't know"

"Go, y/n"

I knock at his door and his dad pat me in the back and let us alone. Lewis was laying down in the sofa with a towel covering his face. When he heard the door closing he remove it.

"Hi" I said

"Hey" He smiled

"I'm not going to make dumb questions, just, I'm happy of how this season went. You're been in the sport longer that I've been alive and even if the feeling of losing it's here, don't let it stay. You're still eveeryone's champion, even mine"

I sit down next to him and he took my hand

"I wanted you to win, you know?"

"You what?" I..." I gasp

"Yeah, you've been so amazing. You have the hunger of a champion and now that you made it, well, you're my idol now"

"Lewis..." I felt that I was going to cry

"Don't cry, baby. Go celebrate. I'm fine, I still more seasons ahead to beat you" I smiled to him and give him a hug

"Let me know when you're in London. To spend a day with you, all right?"

"That's a promise"

He hugged me again and I leave the room. A few people of Mercede's staff were around and congratulate me. As I was walking to my car to go to the hotel, I heard a text.

A thank you from Lewis.

Yeah, he's going to be back.

And maybe in the end ... We are all superheroes.

Each of us with a tragic back story

Specific sets of attributes

Some of us fly

Some of us read minds

And maybe some of us-

Are stronger than others,

We all have potential.

I believe the only difference

Between us all is ...

Who will stand up and fight?

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l0ves1ckf0ol · 1 year

Note

hiii! could u write a fic where reader and xavier are best friends and one day she notices those scratches on his neck so decides to ask him about it, but he snaps at her and they start fighting, and he says stuff he doesnt mean like he tells her that she's annoying cus she never leaves him alone blahlbah she feels bad then she leaves and after a few days they finally talk again and he apologizes and they kiss 😝

TALK | xavier thorpe x gn!reader

"y/n, please let's talk."

note: ill do you one better anon, theyre in a relationship now.

ever since wednesday addams made an appearance to the school, xavier acted strange. you for sure noticed that he has been hanging out more at the shed rather than with you, was it because of her? you were never the type to be jealous but ever since that girl enrolled this semester you couldn't shake off the feeling of how she unconsciously has a choke hold on your boyfriend.

it's been a couple days since you've visited the shed, there he was working away on a piece of art, hair tied up in a bun, eyebrows knitted together in a frown. he usually enjoys art, this was the first time you've seen him troubled. there was a unique pattern in the shed, supposedly. it appears that he has painted, sketched and created the same creature in different angles. you were beginning to think there's more to the story than wednesday herself. xavier wasn't the type to communicate unless asked to, so you did.

"what are you doing here?" his frown deepened, you hum, folding your arms. "you tell me, mr. thorpe. you haven't answered my calls, texted or even waited for me at the quad so i can walk you here." you told him, the tension rising as he puts his brush down. once he fully turns toward you, the cheep light bulb of the shed illuminates 3 small scars on his neck. you frowned, taking a step forward as you grab his chin to face another way to make the scar more exposed and visible to you. your hand falls to the side, "care to explain?" you ask him, raising an eyebrow. "look y/n, it's no big deal-"

you didn't listen to him at this point, no big deal? he wasn't even spending so much time with you, he was always chasing that interesting new student and now when you try and make things a little more clearer you find scratches on his neck. what part of a no big deal was that.

"xavier. you have been following that pigtailed magnet for trouble, i went here to talk to you about it, and see you've painted the same monster in about 13 artworks, and a scar on your fucking neck. please be honest with me and do not say that it's not a big deal. it is when you ignore your partner and run off in your tiny little shed rather than express your feelings towards me lately- hell you didn't even bother to let me walk you here." you ramble, silencing him in a heartbeat. frustration was evident in your face and xavier looks like he won't back down so fast.

"y/n, i already told you it's not serious. i'm fine. really. just-"

you scoff, the shed shivering and the groand grumbling, a sign of your anger. but you decided that there was a better time to destroy his shed, just not now. you took a deep breath and the rumbling stopped, "you wanna play this game xav? i'll beat you fucking to it." you mutter leaving the shed, slamming the wooden gate behind you, the temptation to let the earth swallow him for you was insane.

for the past few days not only you were avoiding him but also ignoring xavier's texts and calls, like what he was doing to you in the past days before. xavier huffs in frustration as he redialed your phone number for about 30 times now, he wanted to make things right, he misses you. he for sure didn't want to break your relationship just because of a stupid monster haunting his dreams. at the 34th time, you answered. he got up from his bed, "y/n? please let's talk." he mutters to the phone, knowing just how to make you surrender.

"where baby?" you answer, xavier would like to thank the heavens for your voice, he was so glad to hear you, with a sigh of relief he told you to meet him at his dorm.

once you arrived at his dorm, you knocked once and he already opens it. "y/n, i'm so so so so sorry about everything. lots of shit has been happening ever since wednesday arrived and i-i dont want that to ruin what we have." he tells you, his tone so desperate you'd think that your relationship was on thin ice and he was coming to rescue it. you wrap your arms around his shoulder and embraced him, inhaling his scent and hearing him breathe. you wouldn't admit it but you missed him too.

you pull away and you both sat down on his bed, he talks about everything. how wednesday shows up everywhere and how she was suspicious that he might be the creature rather, the- hyde. you listened to him, as the way he talks just makes you feel relieved. his eyes were darting every single corner in the room out of anxiety, so you placed a hand on his, rubbing the back of his palm with your thumb. once he finished, you smile at him. "see? it wasn't that hard was it?" you told him, caressing his cheek with your other hand. you lay down on his bed and he falls next to you, head burying into your shoulder and chest, his arms sneaking their way around your waist, "i missed you so much, i love you." xavier mumbled, you sigh in content, placing a peck on his head, "i love you too." you whisper as he cranes his neck backward to take a look at you, then your lips finally meet his, a warmth made its way in your body, feeling the most satisfactory relieg in human history.

#gn reader #xavier thorpe x reader #xu's fics #xavier thorpe x gn reader #xavier thorpe #wednesday addams netflix #xavier x you

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differenteagletragedy · 5 months

Text

So yesterday someone requested a swap AU fic with Baxter as the boy who moved across the street, Cove as his friend you met at 13 and Derek as the guy who rented the condo for the summer. I promptly lost my mind, so here is more.

This is the part in Step 3 when everyone goes to the restaurant and Cove tells everyone he's going to get an apartment and he and MC have a moment, except Baxter style.

"Tell your boyfriend to stop fixing his hair and come on, I'm hungry," Liz said impatiently.

"He's not my boyfriend and he has his process," you replied, looking across the street at your best friend's house.

You, Liz, your moms and Lee were all outside, waiting to go to dinner. Baxter had been invited as well, but it seemed he was running a bit late.

As you were pulling out your phone to text him, he finally appeared. He had a troubled expression, but once he saw you and your family already assembled by your mom's car he turned on a practiced smile and jogged over.

"My apologies," he said, coming to a stop by your side. "I won't hold us up any further. Shall we?"

He held his arm up for you to take and Liz snorted, then said, "We'll meet you there."

Baxter, for all his eccentricities that you'd come to know so well in then ten years you'd been friends, fancied himself a bit of a gentleman. He always offered you his arm when walking anywhere, and you always accepted. You'd had a crush on him for years but had always been too nervous to tell him, so being close to him in any capacity was nice.

Tonight felt a bit different though. Usually he gave off a warmth when you were together, a sort of easygoing gentleness that you'd always noticed was reserved only for you, but now he was tense. As you settled in the passenger seat of his car, ready to follow your family to the restaurant, you saw that his shoulders were tense, and his jaw clenched. He wouldn't look at you.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he said a little too quickly as he pulled out onto the street. You kept looking at him, and eventually he let out a sigh.

"Family stuff again?" you asked.

"It's miserable there," he responded, keeping his voice low as he always did when he talked about his parents. Being vulnerable was difficult for him, but he was able to manage it with you.

"I'm sorry," you told him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"It's only gotten worse since I've turned 18," he continued. "It's like all the expectations they've placed on me my entire life should have suddenly manifested as soon as I became an adult, and because they haven't, and they won't, they're taking it out on me."

Baxter's voice got even lower, and there was a pain to it as he added, "It's unbearable."

You tried to comfort him as best you could, but the drive to the tropical place was a short one, and soon he was pulling into a parking space beside your parents. He took a breath, shot you another fake smile, then got out.

After you'd been seated and your orders had been taken, Baxter cleared his throat. The attention turned to him, and he began speaking.

"I have a bit of an announcement," he began. "I've been keeping it to myself until all the details were hammered out, but now I can share: I'll be headed east to start college in the fall. Virginia, to be precise. For a degree in business."

Your mothers were quick to congratulate him -- he'd become like a third child to them, so it was natural they'd be proud. Lee clapped her hands together, and Liz even joined in, but you just stared at him in shock.

You'd talked about your future plans, of course, and you knew Baxter was going to college but you assumed it would be somewhere nearby. Moving across the country was something someone would discuss with their best friend, but he'd kept you completely in the dark. It hurt.

Baxter answered your family's questions and thanked them for their support, but then he turned to you. You shared a look for a moment.

"If you'll excuse me, I believe I'd like to stretch my legs for just a moment before dinner arrives," he said, standing. He looked down to you, and held out his arm. "Care to join me?"

Without a word, you took his arm once again and followed him to the entrance.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner," he said quietly, leaning in to speak to you. "If I'm being honest, I didn't know how."

"So you thought it would have been best to tell me like this? When do you even leave, in a month?"

"Three weeks," he corrected. You scoffed.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, grasping your hands and pulling them up to his chest. "I truly am. If there was a way I could stay, I would, and I have to believe you know that. I don't want to leave you, I need to leave them."

His parents. That was the reason for the cross-country move. He was running away.

There was something about his closeness, his hands gripping yours close to his heart that became too much. You loved him, and he was leaving. And as long as his parents lived in the area, you doubted he'd ever want to come back.

"I have to go," you said, pulling your hands back. He began to say something, but you raised your hand to stop him, then left the restaurant.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes and decided to take a seat in your mom's car to have a moment to yourself. You unlocked the back door with a shaky hand and climbed in, then let everything out.

Baxter had been there for over half your life at this point. His presence was a constant, something you could always count on. You'd spent countless days together, and so many nights after he started sneaking in your window for impromptu sleepovers when he couldn't stand being in his own house anymore. You couldn't imagine things being so different.

After a bit, you steadied your breath and wiped your face. When you felt steady enough, you moved to get out, but then you spotted a flash of black and white illuminated by a streetlight.

There was Baxter, leaning against the trunk of his car, waiting for you.

You couldn't help but smile, and at that moment he turned back and caught your eye. He gave a cautious smile back, then tapped on the window.

"Care for some company?" he asked when you opened the door.

And so he crawled in the backseat with you, and before you could say anything, he had his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest. He laid a kiss on top of your head, then rested his cheek there.

"I'm not going to be gone for good," he told you. "And honestly I'm a little ashamed of myself if I've let you believe you could get rid of me this easily."

"You're going to be on the other side of the continent, Baxter."

"I'll visit you. You'll visit me. We'll have summer breaks." He kissed your head again and pulled you even closer, then said, "It's four years, darling. You're stuck with me for a lifetime."

You snuggled into him, basking in his affection. He wasn't always this sweet, finding it more comfortable to joke and tease, but in moments like these, it was harder not to fall more deeply in love with him.

A few more minutes passed in comfortable silence, then you told him that you'd better get back to the restaurant. He agreed, and you stepped out of the car. Just before you got to the door, he stopped and turned to face you.

"There is one more thing I feel the need to say," he started. "Something I should have told you long ago."

Taking a look at his expression, you got nervous. He was about to tell you something serious. His expression was hard to read, but when you saw his eyes dart down to your lips, you stopped him.

"We better get going," you said, stepping toward the doors. "Maybe we can talk about this another time."

Baxter looked at you a moment longer, swallowed, then smiled.

"Yes. Another time."

#our life beginnings and always #our life #baxter ward #baxter x you #baxter x mc #baxter x reader #baxter ward x you #baxter ward x mc #baxter ward x reader #our life swap au #olba #olba baxter #our life baxter

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billkaulitzgirlfriend · 1 year

Text

✮ Pain Of Love ✮

Bill kaulitz x femReader

✮. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ . ✮　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. °☆ .✮

Warnings: drinking, sex, smoking, angst,(I think that's it but let me know if there's anymore)

(I'm so sorry I got carried away and made it way too detailed and for spelling errors)😭

Story summary:you are a member of Tokio Hotel and you've had feelings for your Best friend Bill for years but he hasn't seem to notice and you haven't ever had a boyfriend due to your commitment to the band and frequently moving around but you finally meet a boy one random night and everything changes.

This fic is set in 2008 Y/n in this story is depicted as inexperienced (having only kissed one boy her entire life) and shy, Bill is a little more experienced but not by a lot (only had a girlfriend when he was fourteen)

☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★ ☆☆ ★ ✮ ★

"Hello pretty girl" you say to the girl you're signing a autograph for she looks at you as if she's about to faint you're at a meet and greet right now with the boys, as you move on to the next fan you look over at Bill you see a girl around your guy's age kissing him on the cheek you can't help but feel envy build up in your body he always flirts with all of his fans and it's driving you crazy after a couple moments you stop staring and focus on the girl in front of you.

You realized you had feelings for Bill when you were about 13 when he got his first girlfriend he was so happy and told you all about her you happily listened to him and told him how glad you were for him but all you could feel was pure hatred for the poor girl he even joked about finding you a boyfriend soon.

You, Bill, Tom, gustav and goerg have been friends for as long as you can remember you all started the band together when you were kids and have a inseparable bond, Bill is your Best friend and Tom is like an older brother too you, gustav knows all you secrets and is the only one aware of you feelings for Bill and goerg is like your little brother you too are always being mean and annoying each other.

After about two hours of talking with fans and answering questions you guys where finally done it's especially hard for you doing meet and greets because the fans either hate you or love you being the only girl in the band girls feel as if you're there competition but some girls see you as just another heart throb in the group you especially love those girls seeing them get all flustered makes you smile.

You all get on the bus and sit down, you're sitting in between Bill and Gustav, Goerg and Tom are sitting across from you you rest your head on Bill's shoulder and he puts his head on yours, you smile too yourself "so what are we going to eat?" Tom asks, you all sit in silence thinking to yourselves "uh what about pasta?" You say the boys look at each other and nod their heads in agreement "pasta it is then" Bill says

You guys arrive at a fancy looking restaurant as soon as you walk in you guys get nothing but nasty looks sometimes you wish you didn't stick out like a sore thumb but you wouldn't change it for the world, as you guys get seated you notice a cute guy staring you down you smile at him and he winks at you, you quickly look away feeling embarrassed by the interaction when you sit down the boys notice your weird antics "is there something wrong Y/n?" Gustav asks "no it's nothing sorry" you say

After everyone orders their food you excuse yourself to the bathroom you see other people waiting so you sit down and wait as well but then you realize the person sitting next to you was the guy from when you first walked in you tense up once you realize he turns to you turning a shade of pink once he realizes " uhh hi what's your name?" He asks " it's Y/n um what's yours?" "Noah" he answers quickly " so those guys your sitting with is one of them your boyfriend?" "I wish" you think to yourself "No there my friends I don't have a boyfriend" "really? you don't that's surprising" "how is that surprising?" "Because you’re gorgeous" you can't help but smile at his words.

"where the hell is Y/n? the food is already here and she's been gone forever" Bill say with confused tone "I'll be back I'm going to go find her" he gets up from the table and walks towards the bathroom he sees you and is relieved as he walks closer he realizes your talking to someone " what is she doing" he thinks to himself , he sees Noah and you laughing and talking about something and gets annoyed for the reasoning of you being gone so long "Y/n what are you doing come on" he says graving you by the hand and pulling you away while glaring at the boy "sorry I have to go" you say as Bill drags you back to the table

"Bill what the fuck is your problem I was having conversation" you say as you sit down "what's my problem!? Who was the random guy you were talking to for so long?" "His name is Noah and he asked me on a date" " A date you cant be serious? you just met him" He says with disbelief in his voice "why does that matter Tom literally fucks girls he's know for twenty minutes and plus I'm an adult and can make my own decisions" "That's because Tom's a hure!" "Hey leave me out of this and Bill shes right she's not a kid she can choose what she wants to on her own it's not like you're her boyfriend" Tom says Georg and Gustav exchange knowing looks at each other "Gut, mach was du willst" (fine do what you want) Bill says in a upset voice now you know he's angry but that's not your problem he's the one who got overly upset over nothing

The ride to the place you guys were staying at was completely silent no longer sitting next to Bill instead sitting next to Tom and Georg I watch as Bill opens his pack of cigarettes and lights one you usually share one but you watch as he finishes it by himself the air is thick with tension as you Arive at the house Bill is the first one off the bus and into the house "what the hell why is he acting like that?" I say to Georg "I don't know maybe he had a bad time at the meet and greet" he says "that can't be it he was fine when we were on the bus" "maybe he's just being protective I'm pretty sure this is the first time you've talked about a guy before" "that is true your probably right I'll talk about it with him tomorrow" "yeah you should do that,well good night see you tomorrow" "Good night Georg" you say while walking to you room

When you get to your room you strip yourself of you clothes and get in the shower you think about the argument you had with Bill you have never fought with him like that before of course you two bicker but never like that and you've never gone to bed mad at each other when you get out the shower you check your phone and see there's a message from a unknown number

Unknown:hey is Noah from earlier I was just checking in with you left so abruptly

"Oh right I gave him my number"

You:hey and sorry about that my friend was just worried about me

Noah: yeah no worries, so how about that date I asked you about?

"Should I even go I made Bill really upset just talking about it imagine if I actually went through with it you know what no I'm going on that date it's not like I'm dating Bill he can't keep me from having romantic interest" you thought to yourself

You: yeah I would love to I'm free tomorrow night

Noah:Great I'll see you then

Bills P.O.V

"Is Y/n actually serious about going on a date with that guy she just met what if he is a weirdo and he isn't even that cute" I think to myself but then there's a knock at my door when I open I see Tom "what" I say as he lets himself in "what was that with Y/n earlier?" "She literally just started talking to a complete stranger and is already taking about going on a date with him already" "that's how dating works Bill you can't expect her to stay single forever" we sit in silence for a while before Tom speaks again "I see how you look at her" "nicht schon wieder dieser Scheiß! I already told you Tom I'm not in love with Y/n and it's not like if I was she would feel the same I'm obviously not her type look who she trying to go on a date with" "okay Bill but just remember if your not going be with her someone else is, Sie hat es verdient glücklich zu sein" as he leaves I think about his words I know the truth about my feelings but it just wouldn't work out between us she's my best friend and I know her better than than I know myself she doesn't see me how I see her, I need to go and apologize to her.

Y/ns P.O.V

After texting Noah and getting ready for bed you sit in your bed trying to sleep but you can't stop thinking about your argument with Bill suddenly you hear a knock on your door "it's already 1am why is someone knocking this late" you think as you get up to answer it as you open it the tall boy stares down at you"oh hi Bill" you say as open your door wider letting him in you close the door behind you and sit on your bed and he does the same you sit for awhile without saying anything "I'm sorry Bill I didn't-" you start but Bill cuts you off "Y/ n you have nothing to apologize for this is all my fault I shouldn't have reacted that it's just you've never showed any interest in a guy before and it freaked me out your my best friend and I just want you to be happy Ich liebe dich" "Ich liebe dich auch Bill, thank you for telling that i was so confused why you were upset with me, let's stop being mad okay?" " Yeah okay, so when do you think you'll be going on that date?" Bill asks enthusiastically "tomorrow night, this will be my actual first date" you say excitedly Bill smiles at you Sweetly and hugs you "that's great Y/n I'm so happy for you, well we should probably get some sleep we have a lot to do tomorrow, good night" he gets up to leave but you grab his hand before he can leave "do you want to sleep with me tonight?" He smiles "you know I can't say no to that" he says while climbing back into the bed with you he holds you in his arms you spend many nights like this holding on to each other and talking for hours as you drift into sleep "Good night Bill" "Good night Y/n" he says and kisses the top of your head

You wake up the next morning in Bill's arms he's still asleep you wish that you could stay like this forever suddenly you hear Gustav yell outside of your door "Y/N GET UP WE HAVE TO LEAVE IN THREE HOURS" Bill is woken up by the noise he hugs you tightly and buries his head In your chest "Ich will nicht aufstehen" (I don't want to get to get up) he says in a groggy voice "well you definitely can't sleep any longer it takes you the longest to get ready" "ugh fine" he says as he kisses your forehead as he gets up you both leave your room at the same time Tom and Georg watch as you both walk out and look at each other looking relieved that you too made up so quickly "Was für ein schöner Morgen!" Gustav says happily "Guten Morgen Gustav!" You all say back to him

Suddenly your phone goes off it's Noah you answer it "hello?" You say "hey Y/n I was just checking to make sure we're still on for tonight?" "Uh yeah I'm still up for it" " okay I'll pick you around seven okay?" "Yeah Sure I'll see you then bye" The boys look at you as you hang up you awkwardly smile and leave to get ready for the concert

The concert went according to plan and you even had extra time so you guys performed one extra song afterwards you only had a couple of fans to meet since it was a more intimate concert this time luckily on our way back to the house every one was back to their normal selves we talked about a girl we meet that couldn't stop crying when she met us when you guys got to the house you were the first one inside quickly running to the shower to getting ready you were quite nervous since you've never been out with with a boy before after you get ready you walk out your room to ask the boys if they thought your outfit was good

When they saw you they were silent for a while worrying you quite a bit "is it bad should I go change?" You said with fear in your voice "no you look beautiful Y/n." Bill says "really are you sure?" "Yeah no you look amazing Y/n" Tom confirms, Bill can see the nervousness on your face "don't worry it's going to go great don't be nervous" he smiles " thanks Bill" suddenly your phone rings "hello, oh ok I'll be out in a sec" "he's here I'll be back later you guys bye" you say as you walk out the door

As you sit down in the passenger seat you say hi "hi Y/n" "so where are we going" "you'll see once we get there" "oh okay" you guys sit in an awkward silence for a while you want to try and talk to him but you wouldn't know where to start maybe Bill was right I shouldn't have gone on a date with someone you don't know your troubled thoughts come to a halt once you Arive at a restaurant it looks amazing maybe you were just thinking to hard about this it's probably going to go well.

Once you're seated you start trying to get to know him "so do you go to work or are you still in school?' you ask "well I work with my dad at his real estate company" "oh that' s really good do you enjoy it?" " Yeah it's okay I guess, so what about you?" "Oh right Im in a band" "That's your job?" He snickers "um yeah..." " Oh your serious you know what that makes sense I was wondering why you and your friends dressed so weirdly, so is that like financially stable for you?" "yeah it is." You've started to get irritable at his rude responses after what feels like forever you both finally finish your meals and leave once in the car he talks again "so did you like it?" "Um yeah I did" you lie " I forgot to tell you how good you look" "I thought you said I looked weird” you think he starts to get closer to you and puts his hand on your thigh and says "can I kiss you?" "Um sure" you say maybe this will save the date you think he leans in closer to and your lips connect his lips are chapped and he's too rough it feels unnatural and forced but he doesn't seem to think so as he sneaks his hand father up your thigh you quickly push him away " I don't this is going to work out" you say sounding apologetic "oh ok do you want me to take you home?" "Yes please" the rest of the car ride you stay silent when you arrive at the house you say "thank you for the dinner and I'm sorry everything didn't work out" "no it's okay this isn't my first rodeo" you laugh awkwardly and get out.

When you get in the house you see Bill watching TV he looks at you with a confused face it's only nine and he expected you much later than that "what are you doing here it's only nine Y/n?" "Billlllll" you say exaggerating his name and throwing yourself at the coach next to him " did it go bad?" He asks sincerely, you look up at him and nod "do you want to tell me about it?" "Yeah" you tell him all the details of the date "then when we got back in his car he kissed me and it was horrible" he looks surprised when you tell him that "and I wasted this super cute outfit for nothing" you frown "well to be honest it is only nine we can go out and the pretty outfit won't go to waste" "really?" you ask he happily nods "come on what are we waiting for let's leave then!" He laughs at your eagerness

When you guys get to the club you immediately drag Bill to the bar you both start taking shots then go to dance with each other for awhile holding on to one another and laughing every time you step on each other’s toes while trying to Dance you go back once more for drinks “oh do you remember that one time that girl tried to get you to fuck her then she ended up throwing up all over your shoes” you both laugh “oh don’t remind me those shoes were one of my favorites too” “thank you bill for taking me out I feel so much better” “of course Y/n I didn’t want to see your night be completely ruined”

you can’t help but stare at him with the cheesiest smile and he does the same getting lost in each other’s gazes most likely due to the alcohol in your systems you start getting flustered by the eye contact bill smirks at you “you’re getting all red Schätzchen” you hate and love when he acts like this “Bill don’t be that way” you say in a soft voice “what way?” He’s says while grabbing your hips and pulling you closer “Bill what are you-“you get cut off by Bills lips crashing into yours you immediately melt into that kiss Bill quickly pulls away after realizing what he did “Y/n Im so sorry I don’t know what I was thinking” “Bill just be quiet”you say as you pull him back down to kiss you again you two quickly find a rhythm he tastes so sweet it’s like you were meant to do this together “do you want to go to the house now?” “yes I really do” he says with desperation

When you get to the house you barely make it to his room he pins you against his bedroom door and kisses you deeply he finally opens his door and quickly brings you in and locks the door behind him “Scheiße Y/n you don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do this” he says as he feels your body up and down with his slender hands, having him touch you like this makes all those years of waiting worth it he kisses you again slowly making his way down your neck you want to tell him to stop what if he leaves a mark what will people think? But it feels too good he pushes you on his bed getting on top of you kissing your jaw he looks at you with lust in his eyes

“are you sure you’re okay with this” he gently asks you nod your head yes “no I need you to say it for me Schätzchen” “please bill I want this so bad” “dann gebe ich es dir”(then I’ll give it to you) he says as starts to slowly Peel you out of your clothes you leaving you in your bra and underwear you instinctively cover yourself but he quickly pull’s your hands away from your body “you’re r so gorgeous Y/n” he says, he begins to take of his shirt and you unbutton his pants once you you do you reluctantly palm him though his boxers he can’t help but groan your eyes widen once you feel his length he’s huge, you look up at him he turns his head away from you feeling embarrassed you go to kiss him his embarrassment quickly leaves and he begins to unclip your bra he stares at your chest for a couple moments then begins to massage one of your breasts with his hand and places his mouth on the other this causes you to moan loudly “shh baby you don’t want the other boys to here you do you?” You shake your head no he starts to kiss down your body stoping once he got between your legs he smirks when he notices a wet spot on your panties “Scheiße, baby did I do this to you?” “Fuck Bill” you say “that wasn’t an answer Schätzchen” he says while beginning to rub over your underwear you buck you hips trying to get more friction but he quickly pulls away “Ja, Bill, du hast mir das angetan” (yes bill you did this to me) you say desperately as soon as you say that he pulls your panties off swiftly and licks a long stripe on your pussy “Scheiße B-bill” you moan loudly you can feel him smirk to himself due to your reaction he continues to eat you out he feels like he was made to do this he’s been waiting for years to share a moment like this with you so he wants to make it rememberable you start to feel yourself become undone “fuck you taste so good” his words push you over the edge you came with him still attached to your clit he came up to kiss you once again you could tases yourself on his tongue you couldn’t help but notice the tent In his boxers you slowly pull down his cock springs out his pink tip oozing with precum you start to stroke it up and down focusing on the tip you change positions and get on your knees as he sits on the bed you begin to lick his cock getting it wet you put the tip in your mouth first sucking on it softly “ahh baby that feels so good” he throws his head back he softly guides your head with his hand to make you go faster but soon he pulls you off “Y/n is it alright if I cum somewhere else?” You immediately know what he’s referring you slowly nod getting up from your knees and getting into the bed he kisses you sweetly as he lines up his cock with your wet hole “Scheisse” he says with a breathy voice as he enters you your fingers tips harshly hold onto his back “Du bist so eng”(your so tight) he says with his mouth agape you feel so full he waits a moment be before moving he starts off slowly letting you get used to the feeling he feels so good “B-bill S-scheisse right there don’t stop” you moan loudly you say as he hits your sweet spot “fuck Y/n I’m so close” he says as his movements get faster “mhh-m Bill” you say as you release around him his strokes become sloppy and slower as he cums in you you’re pretty sure it’s the best thing you’ve ever felt he kisses you once more before he lays beside you and holds you in his arms

After cuddling with each other for a while bill talks “come on Schätzchen let’s get cleaned up” he say getting up and walking to his bathroom you hear him turn on the faucet and you get up after him you see him running a bubble bath “get in” he tells you so you do he follows behind you he begins to wash your body your mind can’t help but race about what happened moments before what does this mean for the two of you now? your thoughts come to a halt once he reaches between your legs cleaning between them you wine still being sensitive once he’s done he holds you close to him “Bill” You say his name “Yes Y/n” he asks “I know it’s probably a bad time to ask. What does this mean for us now?” You take a deep breath preparing for his words “Y/n I want to be honest with you I’ve had feelings for you ever since we were kids and those feelings have never stopped” you feel happiness fill your heart as you hear his words “I see as more than my best friend Y/n your my whole heart” he continues “I feel the same way bill” you say “you know that was my first time doing something like that” “I know Y/n you’ve told me a thousand times before about how bad you wanted to lose your virginity” “im glad it was with you” you say quietly “me too” he says kissing the top of your head

The next morning you wake up in Bills grasp again you stare at him admiring him and counting all the moles you see on his body he begins to wake up “good morning”you say “guten morgen, meine Liebe” (good morning my love) he says after staying in each others embrace for a while you both get up and leave his room every one else was already up per usual they stare at you both Gustav finally breaks the silence “ I hope you two had fun last night” both you and bill turn red “uh what do you mean?” you ask in a nervous voice “well to start we could hear you guys” Tom states in a annoyed tone “and” Georg starts while turning the tv its the celebrity gossip channel and dead center of the tv is a video of you and bill making out last night at the bar “that” “oh no what are we going to do” you say freaking out “don’t worry we’ll just tell everyone we’re dating” Bill quickly calms you down you’re surprised by his answer But you nod your head agreeing with hi ”FINALLY” the boys say you and bill both laugh at their response.

(That’s the end thank you so much for reading, it got kinda overly long and I wasn’t completely sure how to end it so this was the best I could do I really wanted to post this before the weekend ended but once again thank you if you made it to the end) ♡

#bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz #tokio hotel #bill kaulitz x reader #bill kaulitz smut #smut #x reader #y/n story #tokio hotel smut #tokio hotel x reader #kaulitz twins #gustav schäfer #georg listing

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 6 months

Note

AITA for- well, several things really, but mostly responding how I did to an ex-friend.

So. A few years ago I (20) joined a discord server and made some great friends! January 2023, I got into a long-distance poly relationship with three of these people- Quartz (19), Bird (20), and Jorts (20) (all fake names, ofc).

Things went really well, for a few months, I realised I had (what I thought at the time was) a crush on another friend, Fudge (17). (I was 19 at the time, and later realised that this was a form of alterous attraction, but that's another thing entirely.) I mentioned this to my partners, and Jorts mentioned also having a crush. We encouraged each other to confess, and did so, both of us emphasising that we weren't expecting a relationship and just wanted to clear the air.

Then, in June, I realised how shitty I had been feeling about my relationship with Quartz. He never messaged me, he refused to take part in anything I organised, and he was actively hostile towards my interests. I broke up with him a few weeks later, and we agreed to stay friendly, at the very least. Jorts had been feeling the same way, and broke up with Quartz a few days later.

Quartz blocked both of us a week later, and left every server we shared.

In early August, however, is where I'm worried about being TA. A friend messaged me and told me the admin of the server we had all met on (Book- I'm uncertain on thier age but I know they're a minor) was messaging the other members of the server asking if they felt uncomfortable around myself and Jorts, as Book was looking to see if we needed kicked from the server. They named Quartz and Fudge as the reason they were asking, as both felt uncomfortable around Jorts and myself.

I left the server, as did Jorts, and contacted Book a week later and asked what was going on. After 6 hours of no answer (I knew they were online, thier avatar said so) I threatened to block them if they didn't respond. They did, and we had a rather terse conversation about the situation. I got rather angry, and sent some harsh message to them, including dismissing thier anxiety condition with my own and telling them "I won't feel safe in [Book's server] ever again", but so did they- they called me "fucking weird", and called everything that was happening "the consequences of [my] actions".

I blocked them after this conversation and haven't spoken to Book, Quartz, or Fudge after this.

The day after I blocked Book, Bird sent an invite into Book's server to a server he had set up "for people who want to keep in contact with Jorts and [me]".

Most people from Book's server joined, except Book, Fudge, Quartz, and thier partners.

Now, I know that Book, at the very least, is an asshole. That's not what I'm asking about.

I want to know if I'm an asshole, especially on the following points:

Breaking up with Quartz knowing that Jorts was going to do the same very soon

Confessing to (what I thought was) a crush on a 17-year-old when I was 19

Being harsh towards Book when confronting them about going behind mine and Jorts' backs

Making a new server and possibly driving people away from Book's server

-Nebbia (Submitted 13/10)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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viennajoell · 7 months

Note

Can you make an imagine about a younger Hughes sister (like 13-14) feeling left out or just unappreciated by her family. Something like the song Matilda or little freak by harry styles or yoyok by Taylor swift??

also I love your work

Matilda

Notes: inspired by Matilda by Harry styles

Also I hate this

It's 10 pm and I'm just getting home from my volleyball game.

Of course my parents didn't come. They never do, their to "busy" watching my brothers.

My teammates and coaches notice that every time i look into the stands i get quiet and in my head. I act like I don't care.

"So you tie up your hair and you smile like its no big deal"

But in reality I'm more mad than sad. They went to every single one of my brothers game why can't they come to one of mine?!

Ever i since I quit hockey and my brothers all went pro I've been pushed off to the side.

My brothers didn't care about school what so ever so they got praised for just barley passing classes while I have A's in all my classes and all i get is a "good job"

Where's my hug and ice cream??

My friends say I'm being dramatic and that they love my parents.

It's not that I don't its that I'm being treated differently and not being appreciated.

So you know what i did...

I stopped caring.

I stopped trying to get their attention.

I didn't answer calls from my brothers because they just stand behind my parents and act like nothing is wrong.

"Y/N! You have to answer your brothers calls" my mom Ellen yells. "Why?" I scoff. "Cause you haven't answered any of them for months" she replies. "Okay" I reply, rolling my eyes and walking out the door for school.

I had a test and i aced it. But instead of telling my parents to try and get some sort of validation i kept it to myself and continued doing that.

I continued getting better at volley ball after my parents repeatedly told me I would regret quitting hockey and would hate volleyball.

But here i am four years later playing volley ball for OSU.

"You don't have to be sorry for leaving and growing up"

I didn't tell a soul where i was committing to.

Of course people knew i had offers but i never announced where i was going.

The day I turned 18 i packed my stuff and left without a word.

My phone was blowing up from my parents.

Why do they care now when its to late?

"You don't have to be sorry, no”

#luke hughes #jack hughes #umich hockey #luca fantilli #mark estapa #ethan edwards #adam fantilli #new jersey devils #quinn hughes #Hughes reader

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meazalykov · 16 days

Text

redirection II

esmee brugts x barcaplayer!R

last chapter: redirection I

next chapter: redirection III

Walking into my apartment, I shut the door and place my black nike sports bag on the bench in the foyer. There was a light breeze in the kitchen because I left the balcony doors open when I left this morning.

I didn't want to do anything right now since I had a busy morning. I had to wake up at 6am, eat breakfast, get to Ciutat at 8am, complete paperwork and contracts, do medical tests, take pictures for my first day, and have my first training practice with the team.

The excitement in my body wouldn't go away though. Barcelona is the best club in the world currently, I had high hopes for this season and just want to contribute to the team.

Turning on my phone that was in my back pocket, the time read 1:23pm. Well, in Europe it's 13:23. However, it would take me a while to get used to that as an American.

I saw a few texts from a phone number I didn't recognize too.

Hi y/n!

What time are you free later?

We should go to La selva. It's a restaurant in the city. I haven't been there before but Ingrid recommended it :)

I blushed as I remembered the conversation with Esmee earlier. I appreciated the idea of going out to eat with her, I want to build bonds with my new teammates the same way I had with my old teammates back in Washington.

Considering that I've meet her today, I couldn't say that I had a crush on her (yet). That would be too fast. However, I thought about her on the drive back to my apartment. I'm excited to spend time with a new friend and teammate.

y/n: Esmee!!!!

y/n: I'm free around 17:00/5pm. I have to do some things for my apartment and I'll be ready.

y/n: I just looked up the location to La selva restaurant. It's not too far from my apartment. Its 6 minute walk from me :)

I added Esmee's phone number into my phone as "Esmee :)" before I clicked off of iMessage to go on instagram. Clicking on my notifications, I saw "esmeebrugts followed you 5d" meaning that she followed me five days ago.

Going on her profile, I see that some of my friends back in america follow her and she follows a couple of them back. Everyone kind of knows each other in this sport so I am not surprised.

I don't go on instagram when I am not posting, so I felt bad when I saw that she followed five days ago. I followed her back immediately.

s/n went back to America earlier with our mom and I miss her already. We walked on the Barceloneta Beach before dinner last night, celebrating my new life in Spain. She took pictures of me and I feel happy enough to post them on Instagram.

(pretend this is you in the pictures)

y/n.l/n

barcelona, catalunya, españa

liked by esmeebrugts, sscofff, and 41,375 others

loving barcelona already 🌞💙

comments

y/nhive THE PRETTIEST

ingrid_engen So cool 😍

malpugh obsessed with you 🥹

woso21 when she scores in her debut I will be there

leahwilliamsfan8967 ME TOO!

randomuser267 Golden girl '23 ❓

janafernandez3 🥰

trinity_rodman 🔥🔥🔥

When I told Esmee that I had to do things for my apartment before the dinner, I wasn't lying. Throughout the past week I've been decorating my apartment so it felt like home. I know it will take a while to get used to this place, since I am across the Atlantic Ocean in a new country away from my old home.

three hours had passed and I've finished completing everything for my apartment. I picked up my phone from the coffee table and the time read 4:12pm/16:12. I saw I've received 5 text messages from different people:

Esmee :) 2hrs ago: La selva isn't far from me as well, see you at 17:00!

Trinity R 2hrs ago: Heyy girl! How's Barcelona?

Emily F 2hrs ago: *sent 2 TikTok attachments* you at camp 😭💀

Unknown number: Hi its Ingrid!

The first person I texted back is Ingrid, I gave her my number before she left training earlier with Mapi. I changed her contact name to just "Ingrid E".

y/n: Hi Ingrid!

I texted Trinity back as well, saying that Barcelona is great and asked her how she's doing back in Washington. I reacted to Esmee's message with a like and Emily's with the "haha" reaction.

I had about 45 minutes until I had to meet Esmee at La sevia, so I quickly went into my bedroom and changed into a different outfit than what I had on this morning.

Deciding to do my usual hairstyle (imagine whatever you want, reader <3), I placed on a bit of brow gel concealer mascara blush and lip balm as apart of my makeup routine. I constantly checked the time on my phone, making sure that I am not late to meeting Esmee. I promise this obsession over the time just isn't due to my interest in her, with friends I'll try not to disrespect their time by being late to an event.

After putting on my outfit (photo above^), I checked the time and it's finally 4:45/16:45. I grabbed my purse, put on my sandals, made sure to lock my apartment door, and followed my phone GPS towards LA sevia.

Stepping outside, the warm weather with the nice breeze made me smile. My white oversized button up shirt flowed with the soft breeze. Usually, my social anxiety would plague my thoughts about hanging out with someone new in my life. I used feel shaky and hesitant about these situations. However, I promised myself that I would be more open with others once I came to Spain.

I turned the corner away from my street, heading to walk straight for about a quarter of a mile. Suddenly, I saw a group of girls. One girl had box braids with a nice orange sundress on. Another girl was a redhead with freckles, she wore a pair of jeans shorts with a green shirt. The third girl, who was closest to a restaurant door they were standing out of, was brunette and wore a 22/23 barcelona kit with a pair of light washed jeans. These girls were a few years younger than me, if I had to guess.

When the girl in the Barcelona shirt saw me walk by her, she gasped before coming up behind me and tapping me on the shoulder. I didn't walk past her to ignore her, I figured that since I'm new to Barcelona I wouldn't be recognizable yet.

"Are you y/n l/n? You look so pretty in person. Sorry I- um- wow I am such a fan of your talent." The shy girl spoke with a Spanish accent. I smiled at her as her two friends stood behind her, looking at me with admiration too.

"Thank you so much! I appreciate your kind words." I responded.

The girl pulled out her blue cased iPhone to give to her friend, "I can take a picture with you?" she asked. I responded yes kindly.

After taking pics with the three girls, I continued to walk to the restaurant. Turning onto the street were La sevia was, I heard my imessage notification go off in my back pocket.

I clicked on my lock button to see that I received a text message from Esmee, the time is currently 4:57/16:57. The restaurant is in view from where I am walking so I wasn't late.

Esmee: I am here! I got us a table already so I am inside

Y/n: I am right outside. Heading in now :)

As I approached the restaurant, I stopped and took a deep breath as my nerves started to increase in unfamiliarity. My social anxiety won't ruin this potential friendship I want to have.

I smiled in awe when entering the steakhouse . The place has beautiful lighting, nice vinery, and was pretty spacious. There was nobody up front at the hostess station, so I continued to walk into the restaurant to find Esmee.

As I turned the corner, I see the Dutch girl sitting. She had her familiar braids with her back facing towards me. She's looking down towards her lap so I know she is on her phone.

If I knew her well enough, I would've scared her from behind. A "boo!" could've been funny. Oh well, next time I will.

"Esmee!!!" I said going to sit down in the seat across from hers. The chairs in the restaurant were hanging from the roof, the whole area was pretty.

"Y/n hey!" Esmee clicked off of her phone and placed it upward on the table. I placed my bag in the chair beside my left leg before I fully acknowledged Esmee's appearance.

I cannot deny it. I found her attractive since seeing her at training this morning. She had this shy and sweet aura to her. Don't get me started on her adorable smile...

She wore a black nike hoodie and had on a nice gold necklace. I can't see her pants from below the table but I believe I saw black cargos when walking towards her from behind.

"I'm sorry I am a little late, a fan recognized me and asked me for a photograph." I giggled. I knew I didn't have to apologize because it was exactly 5:00/17:00 when I arrived, I just hoped that she didn't wait long.

"It's totally okay! I just sat down when I saw your message about you being outside." Esmee responded. The dutch accent when she speaks English is pulling me in, emotionally, as I look at her with a smile.

Be cool, y/n. I thought to myself.

"Okay that's good. I didn't want to keep you waiting." I commented.

"You're fine no worries... so I see a fan recognized you already." Esmee said with her recognizable smile.

I laughed lightly and was going to respond until a waitress came up to our table.

"Hi I'm Maria, I will be your server tonight. Can I get you started with any drinks?" The brunette, who had French braids in her hair, smiled at us.

I looked at Esmee, seeing if she wanted to answer what she wanted first. She nodded her head at me, offering for me to go first, we nearly laughed before I said to Maria, "I'll just take a water." Esmee wanted the same thing and Maria smirked at us before walking away.

"Yeah a fan did recognize me. She had on a Pedri shirt and stared at me walking by her before she stopped me for a picture. She had her friends with her and they were so kind." I said.

Esmee nodded her head, "That's good. I'm glad they were kind to you."

"Same, the last thing I need for the end of my first week in Spain is a mean person coming at me." I shook my head at the possible thought.

"Have you had any fan interactions here since Tuesday?" I asked Esmee. It's Monday today so Esmee arrived to Barcelona before I did.

"I had a few actually. A few Oranje fans saw me and asked for a picture. I went to Mexico with the team for a friendly on Thursday and was able to meet more fans there too." Esmee commented. The Barcelona team had a friendly in Mexico against Club America from what I saw on their Instagram pages. My contract wasn't signed until a few days ago, when they came back to Barcelona, so I wasn't able to go.

"You're so lucky! How was Mexico?" I smiled.

Esmee looked up, thinking about her few days for the Club America friendly, before looking back at y/n with a smile.

"Mexico was fun. We didn't walk around or do much. However I saw an old teammate from PSV that plays at Club America so that was nice. uh---- it was nerve-wracking too." Esmee said.

"I understand, it was your first time playing with the team. Friendly or not. Being nervous and excited is normal" I validated her feelings.

"That's true. I did good in Mexico so the worry was for nothing." Esmee lightly laughed as I looked at her with a blush.

Maria came by with our waters and asked what we wanted to eat. Realizing that we spent most of our time talking instead of looking at the menu, we asked for a few extra minutes. The waitress accepted it and smiled before walking away, giving us time.

Esmee and I look through the menus deciding what we want. Most of the menu was in Spanish, so we had to flip to the English part of the menu. While looking through the menu, Esmee and I didn't talk. The silence between us wasn't awkward since there was a nice jazz song playing throughout the restaurant.

"Have you ever had salmon?" I asked Esmee. The girl looked at me with a smile before nodding. I smiled back before saying, "I never had salmon before. The salmon with pineapple and avocado sounds good though." I say.

"You never had salmon before? You should try it, it's good." Esmee said as she looked back at her menu.

"Okay, I'll try that." I closed the menu and placed it in front of me on the table. Esmee looked at the menu for a couple of more seconds before closing it as well, "I'm going to get the same thing." she smiled.

"Copy cat." I joked.

"I am not copying you.... you just have good taste." Esmee rolled her eyes playfully which made me laugh.

"I'm just kidding Es. You can copy me as much as you want to without me feeling annoyed." I smiled before freaking out internally, "oh my god, I hope she didn't take that as flirting. I don't want to freak her out already." I thought. My face still had a smile and Esmee lightly laughed so I dropped the thought.

After Maria came back and we ordered our food, Esmee and I took the opportunity to talk a lot more. We discussed our soccer/futbol journey before coming to Barcelona, our families, our upcoming game with Madrid CFF, and our love for video games. We have a lot in common.

The Dutch girl never mentioned having a girlfriend while she talked about the people close in her life, I took note of that.

Maria came back with our food around 45 minutes after we ordered. Esmee and I didn't talk much as we had our food but it's okay. Again, the silence wasn't painful or awkward to me. Other conversations from people around us and the light music kept my mind occupied.

I didn't want to stare at Esmee, since that would be weird for our first time hanging out, but she looked so pretty. Sometimes when I looked at her, she already looked at me with a shy smile. This made me blush, she noticed it but didn't say anything.

The check came back and the price wasn't expensive at all. Esmee and I forgot to ask if we could split the check but we didn't want to bother Maria who is helping with other tables.

"I can pay for it!" I say as I place my sliver credit card on top of the receipt on the table.

Esmee shook her head no as she placed her credit card on top of the receipt, handing me my card back.

"I offered to take you here so it's on me." The dutch said. She wasn't lying but I didn't want to make her feel obligated to pay for my food when I can.

"Yeah but-"

"Y/n, it's okay." Esmee spoke softly before Maria took her card and walked away. I blushed knowing that couldn't debate with the girl.

"Okay but next time I am paying."

"There's going to be a next time?" Esmee teased, her eyes filled with admiration.

"Oh absolutely!" I said enjoying her company.

Next Chapter: Redirection III

a/n: long chapter, hope you enjoyed :)

#esmee brugts #oranjeleeuwinnen #barcelona femeni #fc barcelona #woso x reader #woso fanfics #wwc 2023 #aitana bonmati #alexia putellas

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coucouatoi · 7 months

Text

we're not who we used to be | h.s.

Pairing: Harry Styles X Reader

Summary: Some letters you've written but never sent to Harry over the years.

Warnings: Angst... so much... there's some fluff, emphasise on the some, there's a hopeful ending tho!

A/N: Sooo this is the childhood friends to strangers fic no one asked for... Hope you all enjoy! This is my writing debut in Harry land :)

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

April 10' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your first fan

Hiya Harry,

It's currently 11:29 pm about 10 hours away from your audition. I figured since you told me to stop praising you and boosting your ego, I'm writing down the rest of the things I want to say.

Firstly, I know you're going to smash it! All the judges are going to want you in. There's no chance that they won't see how special you are, how you're the next big thing.

I won't let you back out of it last second! Anne, Gemma and I are ready to drag you onto the stage, we've discussed it thoroughly...

Secondly, I'm already so proud of you. This is a huge step, I know how nervous you are about it. How you think that everything is going to go wrong and that you'll fail. I've got enough hope in you for the both of us. I'll stand by your side the whole time and I'll cheer the loudest.

To finish, you're Harry Styles. You can do anything.

Break a leg superstar!!

Cheering you on already,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 12' 2010

To: Harry Styles From: Your biggest fan

Harry!

You've made it all the way to the finals! It's crazy! I knew you could do it but seeing you go further and further has been surreal.

I hope you and the other boys get along well! We haven't had much chance to really gossip about it all, you seem excited with them!

The finale is set to start in about 2 hours and I had to get some emotions out (my mom was tired of hearing them... rude) Anyway! I remembered that I had written you a letter a few months ago and now I'm back in this notebook.

I'm so nervous, excited and kind of nauseous about watching the last episode tonight. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now... You must be so scared but incredibly jittery!

I'm counting the days until I get to see you again! I want to hear everything that's happened behind the scenes! You know how nosy I am!

I've already taken up two pages so I'll stop for now.

You can do this!

Talk to you soon,

Your favourite person ever

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 7' 2011

To: You From: Me <3

You called me Angel today...

I don't know what to make of that.

I had so many butterflies in my stomach.

Could you call me that again?

You're my favourite person,

Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 20' 2011

To: Harry From: Angel

Boo!

You finally let me listen to the full album today! Said you had to be there when I listened to it so you could give me all the secrets. You also wanted to see live how I reacted to every song. You're too cute.

"I Want" is my current favourite.

You did tell me that you'd resonated with a lot of the lyrics you sang on this album. That almost scares me.

How did you relate? Who was going through your mind?

You do have the world at your feet now. I shouldn't feel jealous but I do like having you all to myself. Don't worry I'll get used to sharing...

The Up All Night Tour is starting soon! I'm happy that you've invited me to come to some shows. I'll be there no matter if I have to miss school.

I have to show all these newbies that I'm THE biggest Harry Styles fan out there!

Hopefully, you thought about me while signing.

Because I think about you all the time,

Your favourite fan.

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

April 13' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel

G'Day Mate!

So you're officially all the way in Australia now! That's so exciting I wish that you could have stuffed me into your suitcase... sniff

I bet it's super warm there! Or not wait their seasons aren't the same as ours, are they? I'm not even sure...

Hopefully, you can tan a little while you're there! Don't go near any animals or insects!!

I miss you a lot, maybe I'll send this one (spoiler I definitely won't).

Talk to you soon hopefully.

Go swim in the ocean,

Someone who wants to be in it

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 29' 2012

To: Harry From: Angel?

You haven't come to see me since you've been back.

Too busy being a celebrity?

I've been seeing all these tabloids... I'm not allowed to be jealous I know but I miss you.

I hope you've missed me.

I really really wish you were here with me or that I was with you wherever you are now.

I just want to be us.

Have you forgotten your friend from the small town already?

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

January 1' 2013

To: Harry From: Someone You've Hurt

I don't know what to think,

You kissed me. It made me happy.

You said it was a New Year's kiss.

You said you drank too much, it hurt.

You ended up kissing someone else about 20 minutes later.

That hurt even more it almost made me feel used.

I'm happy you were my first kiss.

I don't think you'll even remember it,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

November 27' 2014

To: Harry From: Me

I love the new album, took me a while to finally listen to it. I thought you'd come home and make me listen to it in your presence.

You didn't. The first album that I've listened to alone.

Spaces and Fools Gold are my favourite songs. I wonder how many lyrics you resonate with. How many of them did you write?

Come home?

Only for a day please,

Your first Angel

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

October 21' 2015

To: Harry From: Y/N

It's been a while,

It's your mom's birthday today. Well only for a few more hours...

She invited my family and me to the party, and of course we went. I didn't think you'd be there. I haven't seen you in almost a year.

It was fun.

Catching up about everything that's been going on with you and the band. Your life is so much more interesting than mine now.

I'm just a boring college student... you're this huge star but that's ok there's no one like you for me, you're my safe place. No matter how far away.

You asked about my love life and I told you about the date I had a few days ago. You asked if we had sex, I lied and said yes. I didn't want to embarrass myself by telling you no one's ever been with me like that.

We ended up getting drunk. Too drunk.

We fucked.

You took my virginity and you have no idea... should I tell you? You were so good. So gentle, loving but you fucked with a purpose, you needed to get off. I won't ever see your childhood bedroom the same way.

This was only a few hours ago.

I've felt every emotion about it. Now I'm crying because I know you'll find someone new to share a bed with. I'm just a notch in your headboard.

It meant everything to me.

But I think I regret it...

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 12' 2017

To: You From: Me

Really?

I hope Only Angel isn't about me.

But I'm overanalysing every single song. Is one about me? Did you think of me while making this album?

We haven't talked since the last time we saw each other. When we fucked again. It wasn't even the second time, after your mom's birthday two years ago we never stopped. It's all we do when we see each other.

It doesn't make me feel all that much better but I feel like if it wasn't for that we wouldn't even know each other anymore.

I'm moving away this year. Got a job offer in Canada and I'm taking it.

Maybe I'll get over you... hopefully.

I can't live my whole life waiting for someone who I don't know anymore.

I'm blocking your number.

I miss who we used to be,

Your first-ever fan

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 4' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Hello,

You've crawled your way back into my life, Harry. This morning, you decided to send me your album. Your new one, Fine Line. Your fans haven't even heard it yet. The public hasn't either.

You didn't write a single thing in your email, the mp3 link was staring me down with your automated signature. Not even a greeting.

I shouldn't have listened to it.

I don't know why you sent it to me. We haven't spoken or crossed paths in over a year. Not since I moved and tried to get rid of every way of contact between us.

I still haven't answered, I don't think I will.

You don't get to know what I feel about it. Not anymore.

I'm sorry Harry.

I've moved on,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

December 13' 2019

To: H From: Y/N

Your new album came out today.

I'm proud of you even if we are strangers now.

You're a superstar.

I always knew you would be,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

March 17' 2020

To: H From: Y/N

I saw that you had to postpone your tour.

You must feel so defeated.

I know I do. Everything's been closed and opened and closed again here in Canada. It's getting exhausting.

I hope the world starts working again soon.

This all sucks...

Crossing my fingers for the tour,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

May 18' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Hi,

You sent me the album before the release again.

This time you did say something: I miss you Angel, Can we meet up?

I didn't think I could feel so many butterflies in my stomach. I felt like a teenager again. And I cried more than once listening to Harry's House.

I'm still considering if I should answer... if I do what should I choose? Should I agree and go into the unknown or forget it happened and keep on going with my life?

I miss you too... the one I knew. Not the one who used me. I guess I used you too... How did we get here?

All I want is to be loved and to be in love.

I'm not sure if I'm ready for the hurt this will bring but maybe I should just be a grown-up about this...

I want you back in my life.

That scares me,

Y/N

╭┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈╮

August 16' 2022

To: Harry From: Y/N

Well,

I'm going to the Love On Tour today and after we are going to "meet". We even have until the 20th because that is when your next show is, after today obviously.

You were so excited when I agreed.

It's almost as if no time has passed when we text (he changed his number in the last few years... no need for an embarrassing unblocking).

My friend, the one who convinced me to agree, helped me pick out an outfit. Thankfully for her, I won't stick out like a sore thumb in the crowd of feather boas and cowboy hats.

I really want this to work.

I want to believe that we can be good again. We can be healthy for one another again but I'll be worried until I see you.

Until we speak.

I won't let myself touch you, I have a feeling that it would be far too easy to fall back into a bed. Maybe a hug would be okay.

I'm excited for the show, to see the Superstar Harry Styles in action. After so many years you have to have evolved so much.

You aren't little Harry from Worcestershire anymore.

I'm not the same person I once was either.

See you tonight.

Break a leg,

Y/N

#harry styles x reader #harry styles #harry styles imagine #harry x reader #harry styles fic #harry styles x you #harry styles x y/n

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sourwolf-sterek32 · 3 months

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The Dirt (Your Version)

Summary: Meeting Nikki Sixx and Tommy Lee was a coincidence. Being friends was a choice. But falling in love with them both was beyond your control.

A rewrite of The Dirt with all the highs and lows of Mötley Crüe from your perspective.

Pairings: Nikki Sixx x Reader, Tommy Lee x Reader, Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee x Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Warnings: Language, drugs, alcohol, miscarriage, drug overdose

Previous Chapter

Chapter 13- Breaking Point

Two days later, Nikki was knocking on your front door once again. This time at a reasonable hour.

"I'm sorry." Were the first words out his mouth when you opened the door.

He was standing on your porch with his hands in his pockets looking tired. His skin was a little pale, but his eyes didn't have that look about them... he was completely sober. Surprisingly.

"I was an asshole the other night."

You sighed before stepping to the side, "come in."

Nikki nodded hesitantly walking into your house and making his way into the living room, but unlike last time, he didn't start pacing or shouting. He remained quiet with a concentrated look on his face like he was trying to figure out the right thing to say.

"I should have told you earlier." You said, breaking the silence.

Nikki tilted his head up and those sea green eyes met yours. But he seemed hesitant to speak as if he was afraid that he would say the wrong thing.

"I-I don't even know whose baby this is." You admitted, looking away from him. "It could be yours or it could be Tommys. I have no idea. And I... I..."

"Do you want to keep it?" He asked carefully.

You shrugged, "I don't know."

Nikki nodded before he plonked himself down on your couch resting his elbows on his knees and burying his face into his hands with a heavy sigh. He didn't say anything for a few minutes seeming to contemplate his life choices while you stood across the room and watched him nervously.

"What do you want me to do?" You asked helplessly.

"It doesn't matter what I want. It's your body, Y/N."

Y/N.

Nikki rarely ever called you by your real name. It was always princess.

"Do you hate me?"

Tears were beginning to rise in your eyes at the mere possibility of Nikki hating you. After everything the two of you had been through... after all these years... you wouldn't be able to handle it if he hated you.

"No." He answered instantly, looking back over at you and his expression soften when he saw the tears in your eyes. "I could never hate you."

You sniffed and wiped your eyes hating yourself for crying so easily. Stupid hormones.

Nikki was on his feet and in front of you within a blink of an eye, but you lowered your head not wanting him to see how weak and pathetic you were.

"Hey. It's okay." He whispered, hooking his thumb under your chin and tilting your head up until your teary eyes met his. "Please don't cry. It's okay."

You shook your head, "it's not okay. I haven't had a test to confirm it, but I know it'll be positive, and I don't know what to do, Sixx. I never wanted this. I never wanted... and now I don't know what to do. I can't look after a baby. What the fuck am I meant to tell Vince? I don't know what to do and-"

"Hey, hey, hey, just breathe. Princess, breathe." Nikki said, cutting off your nervous ramblings.

You shook your head at him unable to get any air into your lungs. You were working yourself up into a panic, but you didn't know how to pull yourself out of it. Nikki was still talking. His lips were moving frantically but you couldn't hear him above the pulsing in your ears.

Nikki suddenly grabbed your hand and pressed it against his chest before he began taking slow deep exaggerated breaths.

"Copy me, alright? Breathe in. Like this." He encouraged and you tried to mimic his breathing but couldn't. "Keep going. In... and out. That's it."

You closed your eyes and copied his deep breaths feeling his chest rise and fall against your hand while sucking in shallow shaky breaths of your own.

After a few minutes of breathing in sync with the bassist, your breathing slowly started to even out and you opened your eyes to find Nikki looking at you worriedly.

"Are you okay?"

You shrugged weakly, "I... I don't know what I'm doing."

"Hey." Nikki whispered, resting his hand over yours that was still against his chest. "It's going to be okay. And I'm here for you, alright? I'm going to get sober, and I will be here. No matter what."

Your eyes welled with tears at his words and Nikki smiled softly at you.

"I'm going to go buy a pregnancy test, okay? I will be back soon and then we will figure everything out."

You nodded, not trusting your voice at the moment and Nikki seemed to notice because he didn't wait for a response before turning and walking out the house.

You heard the familiar rumble of his sports car drive off leaving you standing in the living room surprised at everything that had just happened. After his shouting and anger a few days ago, you expected him to still be pissed about the pregnancy bombshell, but he wasn't. Hell, he was handling it better than you were.

Taking a seat on the couch, you flicked the television on to try and distract yourself from your worried thoughts while you waited for Nikki to return. Settling on MTV, you leant back against the couch and focused on the screen.

You weren't sure how long you had been sitting there for when a sudden sharp pain spiked through your stomach out of nowhere. A small gasp escaped your lips as you leant forward resting your hand over your baby bump as the cramping like pain worsened.

The faint sound of the front door opening and closing echoed through the house while you sat on the edge of the couch with your free hand gripping the cushion for dear life.

"Nikki?" You called out hesitantly.

A few long painful seconds ticked by before you heard the sound of a paper bag hitting the floor and a moment later, Nikki was rushing around the couch and dropping to his knees in front of you.

"Whoa. Hey. What's wrong? What's wrong?" He frantically questioned, his wide panicked eyes searching your face for an answer before he looked down to where you were clutching your stomach through your baggy shirt exposing the baby bump that he had never noticed before.

His hand hovered over your knee unsure if he was allowed to touch you after everything that had happened.

"Princess, I need you to talk to me. What's wrong?" Nikki asked, his voice coming out panicked yet calm at the same time.

"It hurts. My stomach... it-it hurts. Something's wrong." You winced, squeezing your eyes closed in pain.

Nikki didn't say anything for a moment as another cramp stabbed through your midsection and you couldn't stop yourself from whimpering at the frightening and painful feeling.

"Fuck, Y/N...."

Your eyes snapped open to find a look of horror in his sea green eyes as he stared down at your lower half. You quickly followed his line of sight to find what had caused that fearful look in his eyes and your entire world came to a screeching halt when you saw the blood stain between your thighs.

Nikki drove you straight to the hospital and it was all a blur after that.

The doctors did their tests while Nikki was left to pace the waiting room anxiously. You couldn't remember what the nurse had told you, but it didn't matter because you knew you had lost the baby.

You should feel relieved. You never wanted this. You never wanted to get pregnant or have a kid, but for some reason you couldn't stop crying.

It was stupid.

Why the hell were you crying about something you barely even had or wanted in the first place?

There was a gentle knock on your hospital room door, and you looked up through teary eyes to find Nikki slowly stepping inside.

"I'm so sorry." Was all he could say as he sat down on the edge of your bed and reached for your hand. "I'm so fucking sorry, princess."

Your chin trembled as you chewed on your lower lip trying to keep the tears from falling down your face. You tried to speak but was choked back with a sob.

"Come here." Nikki whispered, leaning over and pulling you into a tight hug. "I got you, sweetheart. I got you."

Nikki held you while you cried in his arms and you weren't sure how long the two of you sat there together, but it must have been a while. The tears had stopped a long time ago, but Nikki refused to let you go.

Suddenly, there was another knock on the door.

"Hey, I got your message. What's going on?" Tommys panicked voice suddenly asked.

Wait, Tommy was back?

Wasn't he meant to be on his honeymoon with Heather?

Nikki carefully unwrapped his arms from around you and pulled away wiping his eyes which you were surprised to find were wet with his own tears before he walked over to Tommy and grabbed the drummer's hand, pulling him out the room.

You sat and watched them through the glass window in the door as Nikki spoke quietly to him.

"Is Y/N okay? Why is she in a hospital? What happened?"

"T-bone, I need you to just calm down for a minute, okay?" Nikki's rough voice spoke but that just made the fear in Tommy's eyes heighten.

"Dude, you're starting to freak me out. Is she okay?"

"She had a miscarriage."

His jaw dropped in pure shock.

"What?!"

"She... she was pregnant. She lost the baby." Nikki sniffed, scrubbing at his eyes to get rid of his tears.

Tommys mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water unable to speak before he pushed past Nikki and rushed into the room.

"Tommy, wait-" Nikki tried to say but the drummer wouldn't listen.

"You were pregnant?" Tommy questioned stopping by your bedside as he stared down at you, and you had to look away as you nodded not wanting to see the hate or disappointment in his hazel eyes.

"Fuck." Tommy gasped, covering his mouth with surprisingly shaky hands as he looked back over at Nikki helplessly, not knowing what to do.

There wasn't anything either of them could do. It happened. Now, you had to deal with it.

Nikki slowly walked back over patting his best friend's shoulder before he sat down on the edge of your bed and grabbed your hand giving it a small comforting squeeze.

"We shouldn't have... fuck. Y/N, I'm so sorry." Tommy apologised, his voice was heavy with shame, the same way his guilt weighed down upon his shoulders that mimicked Nikki's.

Then it hit you.

They both felt responsible for this. They both felt guilty.

"It's-it's not your fault." You whispered, looking up at Tommy through tear-filled eyes before glancing over at Nikki beside you. "Either of you. It's not your fault."

Tommy let out a shaky exhale, his hazel eyes shimmering with unshed tears before he walked around the other side of the bed and went to sit down but hesitated.

"Can I hold you?" He asked, his voice sounding as broken as you felt.

You nodded and that was all the confirmation he needed before he sat down and wrapped his arms around you pulling you into his chest. Tears instantly started to fall back down your face at his comfort and you could feel Tommys body trembling as he cried too. Nikki's hand tightened around your own and you squeezed it back gently while burying your face against Tommys chest.

"I-I didn't even want it. I shouldn't be sad. I shouldn't be crying but-but..." You trailed off, hot tears streaming down your face. You squeezed your eyelids shut in hope the tears would stop. Your choppy breathing and watery eyes remained for quite some time, but Nikki and Tommy didn't leave your side.

The Terror Twins stayed at your house the following week to make sure you were okay. You weren't okay, far from it actually. But you didn't tell them that.

It was decided quickly that Vince was to never find out. If you thought your brother would lose his shit if he found out about the sex, it would be nothing compared to him finding out about this.

Nikki called Mick the following day to tell him the news and asked him not to tell Vince. Mick, to your relief, promised to keep that information to himself and then visited to check on you. He dropped off a bundle of flowers which had you crying, and the guitarist hugged you giving his condolences.

Tommy and Nikki weren't sure if it was a good idea for you to join the band on the Girls Girls Girls U.S. Tour later that year. But you needed to keep busy. Keeping busy and going on tour would be a good distraction. Slowing down was dangerous, because it meant you had to face what you were trying to run away from.

Plus, if you didn't go on tour with them, Vince would realise something was up.

So, you went.

The tour had its ups and downs. Some shows were the best Mötley had ever done. The music was on point, everyone was in rhythm with each other and when all pistons were firing, Mötley Crüe were unstoppable. But not every show was like that. Some nights the guys were so drunk and high they couldn't hold a tune. But the Mötley fans would still cheer and throw their fists in the air having a great time despite it.

Guns N' Roses opened for Mötley Crüe during the tour. Mötley were to GNR like Ozzy Osbourne was to Mötley back in '84.

Guns N' Roses were just starting out. Not many people knew of them and Mötley Crüe helped put them on the fucking map. After the tour MTV began playing GNR and their fame shot up. The two bands raised hell together off stage. Slash and Nikki more than anyone.

Then came the Japan tour.

And the Japan tour was crazy.

You should have known that tour would be a shitshow right from the start when you got to Tokyo and security found pot in Tommy's drum case at the airport. The cops took all of Mötley's equipment because of that and Doc was fucking pissed.

The guys were out of control. And well, you had begun to drink your own emotions away and were out of control with them.

It was stupid. You didn't want the baby. You didn't want to be pregnant but losing a child... it hurt more than you thought possible. So, you drank... a lot.

Tommy and Nikki were starting fights on bullet trains and getting swarmed by riot police. They were doing too many drugs and drinking too much, and you knew it was partly because of the miscarriage. Nikki said that he would get sober to be there for you, but now that the baby was gone, so did his sobriety.

Losing the baby had affected both Nikki and Tommy, but neither of them would admit it.

They both wanted kids in the future. They had told you that years ago after one too many beers. They wanted kids. And losing a baby, despite not knowing whose baby it actually was, it hurt them. So, they used drugs and alcohol to numb the pain.

Vince wasn't doing much better. He was getting drunk every night and ended up with a group of Japanese gangsters pulling guns on him at a bar. Even quiet Mick was out of control, running the streets with his pants around his knees and a Godzilla mask on his face terrorising locals.

Nikki's heroin addiction was getting worse by the day. He had lost so much weight, his skin even had a yellow, greyish tinge to it.

You were worried about him and told him what you thought about his addiction, but it just went in one ear and out the other. Stopping Nikki Sixx was like trying to stop a tornado. You couldn't do anything except look out for him... and hope.

After three shows at Budokan, you all went home for Christmas before the European tour was set to begin in the New Year.

Tommy couldn't wait for Christmas in his multimillion-dollar mansion with Heather. Mick and his girlfriend were psyched to share their first Christmas together. Vince and Sharise had invited you over to their place for Christmas with Skylar. And Nikki... you honestly had no idea what he was doing.

"Goodnight, Aunt Y/N." Skylar said, running through the living room towards you.

You smiled and knelt down just in time before your niece jumped into your arms giving you a big hug.

"Goodnight, baby girl." You replied closing your eyes and taking in a deep calming breath as you hugged her tightly.

Even hugging your own niece made you feel emotional. It was stupid. The miscarriage was in the past. It was over, why couldn't you just move on?

"Come on, sweetie." Sharise called out and you reluctantly let go of the little girl who smiled brightly at you before running after her mother to get ready for bed.

"Are you okay?" Vince called out from where he was sitting on the couch watching you worriedly.

"Yeah." You nodded putting on a fake smile before you wandered back over to the couch and collapsed down beside him watching the late-night news.

Vince sipped away at his beer silently not pushing for answers despite being able to tell that something was wrong. He was always good at reading you, and right now, you wished he wasn't.

"Want another beer?" He asked, standing up and motioning towards your empty bottle in the cupholder of the couch.

"Got anything stronger?"

Your brother hesitated but nodded with a small frown. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm good, Vin. Go get those drinks and then we can watch a movie or something."

You grabbed your empty glass from the side of the couch and went to hand it to him but paused when you saw what was now on television. The news was showing footage of someone lying motionless on a stretcher being wheeled towards an ambulance.

A sickening wave of terror welled in your stomach.

"Vince." You warned, standing up and taking a step closer to the television recognising that mop of black hair from anywhere.

"It's a sad night for rock and roll." The news reporter began to say. "We've just received unconfirmed reports that Mötley Crüe bassist Nikki Sixx has died in Hollywood this evening of an apparent drug overdose."

The glass bottle slipped between your fingers and shattered against the tiles on impact. Your chest grew so tight it became hard to breathe as you stared at Nikki's face on the screen with the text:

'Nikki Sixx 1958-1987'

"No." You whimpered, shaking your head in denial because it couldn't be true.

"What the fuck?" Your brother whispered from behind you. "No, no, no. What the fuck? No!"

Your legs trembled and quaked beneath you as you shook your head repeatedly. It couldn't be true. It couldn't be. Nikki wasn't dead. He couldn't be.

Your legs buckled, knees hitting the glass covered tiles slicing your skin, but you didn't feel it. A broken sob escaped your lips, and you covered your face with shaky hands as you tried to breathe.

"Daddy, are you and Aunt Y/N okay?" Skylar's worried voice asked, but you couldn't hear her.

"Yeah, baby, we're fine." Vince answered his voice shaking as he rushed over to his daughter before she could step on the broken glass. "Let's get you back to bed. Come on."

Vince spared one last look at you before picking up his daughter and taking her back upstairs while you sat there with your face buried in your hands.

Nikki Sixx was dead.

They said it was an overdose. And you knew without a doubt that it would have been heroin.

You should have tried to get him to stop. You knew he was struggling with it. You knew he needed help. Why did you let him go off alone after the tour? You should've been there for him because maybe if you were then he would still be alive.

It was all your fault.

Someone suddenly grabbed your arms, lowering your hands from your face and you saw a flash of blonde curls in front of you.

Vince cradled your face with his hands. He was talking. You knew he was talking, his lips were moving, but you couldn't hear anything above the blood rushing in your ears.

His tear-filled brown eyes searched your face for any sign of recognition, and you wanted to tell him that you were okay. You wanted to say something, anything, but when you tried to speak, you were choked with tears.

Vince's face broke and he pulled you into his chest and that was all it took before you completely broke down. You buried your face in the crook of your brother's neck, and he held you tightly while you burst into tears.

Next Chapter

MASTERLIST in bio

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A/N: You all know what's coming in the next chapter, it's a rough one but I promise this story will eventually have a happy ending.

#motley crue #nikki sixx #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x reader #nikki sixx x you #tommy lee #tommy lee fanfic #tommy lee x reader #vince neil #mick mars #motley crue fanfiction #motley crue x reader #the dirt #pov #imagine

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