#But she's one fucking beautiful heinz
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Keepsake
Rosa finds something of Blanca's.
(Set 16 years after the Pet Safety "present" arc; references Angel's recovery / bad caretaker arc.)
[Pet Safety Masterlist]
Content/warning: BBU. Grief, presumed loss of a loved one, gaslighting. A bit of derogatory language. This is a turning point for Rosa. 18+ themes, but nothing explicit. I actually think this works as a stand alone.
When Sloane had been in kindergarten, her imaginary friend had been a talking dolphin called Heinz. Like the ketchup, the grown ups around her would ask, and Sloane explained with all the seriousness that Heinz was a German first name and Heinz was a German dolphin, who spoke dolphin German a language only she understood. And Rosa, she added, then, because Sloane had always included Rosa in everything.
Bradley's imaginary friend phase had been shorter and a little simpler; his imaginary friend had been a racoon superhero who could fly and fight evil and who was usually to blame when something broke around Bradley. Rosa had helped him design a matching costume, and she'd been declared the heroes' sidekick for that.
Both of them had thought, they could never be without them. They'd stay with them forever, they were real and true and would keep them safe; but eventually, their friends had faded out, and later, so had their memories of them.
Rosa's own imaginary friend, she sometimes thought, had been a beautiful woman named Blanca, with a bubbly laugh and a soft smile.
Someone who'd been there, and then not, without leaving any traces in the real world; someone who had shaped her life and vanished before it could take form; someone only she herself remembered and who could just as well never been real.
That was, until she unpacked Sir's overnight bag on an otherwise ordinary Thursday afternoon, after he'd spent yet another night with Mr Tim's wife, barely disguised as a business trip.
Maybe even well disguised; Rosa wasn't entirely sure, if it was only herself who saw it all so plain and obvious. The stains on Sir's dirty clothes, the long blond hair found on his trousers, but most of all, the looks, cast between all three of them at family meetings.
Burning hatred from Mr Tim, malicious contempt from Sir, and a dignified, sad endurance from Ms Angelina. She called her that in her head, still. Ms Angelina had no bar code and no collar, she had a full name and now a wedding ring; to Rosa, she was a person, regardless of what was left of her past.
It was blackmail, Rosa supposed; Sir was a mastermind at that, and even though sex was usually the means and not the end, he'd always made exceptions to his standards when it was about humiliating Mr Tim.
Rosa hadn't just not entirely understood, not drawn any connections, until her unpacking routine was disrupted, her hands touching on a piece of leather.
A collar. Soft, thick, with a tiny bit of floral embroidery.
Intimately familiar.
White, not pink as Rosa's own had been, back then, in that hazy past when there'd been two of them.
Blanca's collar, with a long blond hair the color of Ms Angelina's caught in the buckle.
Blanca.
It was real.
Blanca was real again.
Rosa couldn't move, just stared at the collar in her hands for an eternity, until she heard an amused chuckle behind her.
Sir was leaning to the door of the walk in wardrobe, jacket off, nestling with the cuff links of his shirt.
"You always that slow working, or only when you're pondering your past mistakes, Rosa?"
She couldn't help but stammer. "Sir, I... I was just..."
He waved his hand dismissively. "Don't worry. I get it." He stepped up next to her and took the collar from her hands, turning it between his palms himself. "Been a while, but Blanca's still been the best fuck I ever had." He raised an eyebrow at Rosa, almost conspiratively, but his gaze underneath was icy. "I guess that makes two of us, doesn't it?"
Rosa's voice was gone.
Blanca, she thought. Blanca. Blanca.
Of course she was real.
Sixteen years it had been, easy to count with the passing of Sloane's birthdays. Sixteen years of silence.
During the weeks Rosa had been in WRU - or had it just been days? Time didn't exist in the facilities -, in the house every single trace of Blanca had vanished.
There hadn't been much, in the first place. A small corner of Sir's wardrobe, reserved for her clothes, curated by him. A narrow bed in the room she'd shared with Rosa. Hairbrush, make-up case, and some weirdly ugly bright pink flamingo slippers she'd worn at home that had been some old joke between her and Sir that nobody had ever explained.
Some postcards that Blanca had been allowed to pin to the wall over her bed, of places she'd been with Sir, before Rosa; before even Madam. In between, some snapshots of Blanca with Sir, or of him alone, all flirty, often suggestive.
All of it had been gone, when Rosa returned from WRU, alone.
She'd been able to remember Blanca only in the gaps. A wisp of her hair, in the background of the wedding photo Rosa dusted off every day in the master bedroom, or in the one porcelain figurine of Madame's collection that had made Blanca laugh about its mismatched proportions every time she'd passed it.
It hadn't been enough to erase the doubts, that sometimes crept up at night.
If Rosa had just always been alone in this room. If it had simply been despair and loneliness that had made her make up someone else, someone's voice and laugh and touch, like Sloane and Heinz and Bradley and the super-racoon.
Nobody had ever spoken Blanca's name again in this house, over sixteen years, not until this very moment.
The best fuck he'd ever had.
She'd never hated him as much.
"Blanca," she repeated tonelessly.
"Blanca," Sir sighed. "Such a waste. She could've lasted for some more years. You should've kept your hands to yourself, Rosa. Kept them off what's mine."
"It... it wasn't..." She didn't even know what she was going to say, only that he was wrong, wrong, in everything.
He silenced her with one gaze. "I gave her to my friend Jack. She ever told you about him? Probably. She hated him. Didn't say that to my face of course, but I knew her. I knew everything about her, Rosa. Things you never will. And Jack - well. Jack wasn't a nice guy like I am. And also unlike me, he didn't like to keep nice things." He lifted the collar in a shrug. "He liked to break them. And he sure did break my pretty little Blanca."
Rosa pressed her lips shut and shook her head. No. Blanca wasn't a lie, but this, this had to be.
"You'll not be that stupid again now, going up against me, Rosa, will you?" He plucked the blond hair from the collar and dropped it to the floor. "Renee doesn't need to know what I do with Tim's little plaything."
"Wife," Rosa whispered hoarsely. It didn't matter, but at least it was one thing, one simple thing where she could correct him, where she'd find the words.
He just laughed in reply. "Gosh, Rosa, don't tell me you haven't seen it even earlier than me. The body's different, sure, but apart from that, aren't they all the same? You've tasted one, you recognize their kind everywhere. Tim's.... thing, Angelina, thought she could run away. Thought she could get away from her owner, from what she's made for. Someone has to teach her her place now, right?"
Rosa swallowed hard, as she realized. She didn't say it. She never would. But in this moment, she understood that Cory Woodward, Sir, the most powerful and frightening man she'd ever known, felt like he'd lost.
That he'd lost, sixteen years ago, when Blanca had agreed to run away with her.
"How... how did you find us, back then?" She asked, as coyly as she could. Her ears rang.
The handler from the facility echoed in her head. 168 was loyal. Told your owner what you were planning. The words had haunted her, ever since. They had made sense, of course they had, everyone knew Romantics loved their owners, and Blanca certainly had, despite everything he'd done. She'd still loved Rosa, she'd just loved Sir more, and Rosa had told herself it had been alright, she'd done what she could, and -
With a smirk Sir tapped at the side of his head, right behind the ear. "Tracker," he said. "You didn't come with one, but in her price segment, they all do. Get an implant, while they're still foggy. Nobody tells them."
Years of practice kept Rosa from falling apart in that very moment. She just put one hand on the wall, steadied her legs and barred all emotion from her face.
Cory shrugged.
"Now. We agree about that little arrangement with Angelina, don't we, Rosa? Would be a shame to make Bradley and Sloane grieve over the loss of their beloved nanny."
"I can keep a secret," Rosa said softly, and for the blink of an eye she could see Cory flinch, as if he'd caught her meaning, before he dismissed it again.
Blanca had chosen her, sixteen years ago. Chosen her over Cory, over her Sir, over the one person she was made to choose always.
Blanca had been real.
Blanca had loved her.
And they'd almost made it.
Only after she'd unpacked the suitcase, made up the bedroom, cleaned the bathrooms, Rosa allowed herself to cry.
-
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Propaganda below
Columbo
They both have autistic swag to me, an autistic person. He also has dad vibes. I’m honestly just intrigued by the idea
Dean Winchester
"Dean is an idiot dork trapped inside layers of murder and butt hurt, Amelia Bedelia is an intelligent yet also idiot dork hidden inside a cage of incompetence. She also bakes damn god pie.
Imagine: Dean stumbles across Ms. Bedelia in some sort of trial prospected by God. He thinks her an omen or possessed= who'd blame him? She'd be killing masses of birds with well aimed stones, always two at once. Giving an arm and a leg to the local car dealerships- he's ready to kill her. Fires pure silver bullets at her, and she fucking bites them. He doesn't know what she is.
""Your a loose cannon!"" He yells at her. Amelia gets this look in her eye, drags Dean behind her as she heads home.
""Loose cannon.."" She mumbles repeatedly. ""Loose cannon..""
Dean gets it, he understands now.
""Now, ma'am- maybe you should just.. I don't know, hit the road?"" Amelia looks down at the street- she goes faral. Scratching and slaming punches at the ground, Dean out her grasp, and tackles her.
Anyway, shenanigans- He's got her chained up in her motel room and Dean searches for hex bags.
A slight bitterness fills the air.
""My pie!"" Amelia Bedelia screams, ""Please for the sake of mercy- save my pie!""
""Pie?"" Dean looks up sharply from half crouched under the bed. He runs to the oven- pulls out the most beautiful pie he has ever seen.
He licks his lips nervously.
""This ain't poisoned, right?""
""It was meant for poor Mr. Rogers."" Amelia sobs. ""He- he called me 'Drop dead gorgeous."" Thick tears stroll down her cheeks.
""He grabbed his chest- and just... went down.""
She looks up as Dean sharply. ""Please, please I don't know why this happens to me.""
Dean strolls over, looking down at her. ""What's your name?""
""Amelia, Amelia Bedelia.""
Dean smirks. ""Tell you what Amelia, I'll figure out how to stop this.""
""Really?""
""Yeah.. It's kinda my job."" He winks at her.
""Now about this pie.""
After that first slice, Dean new he had to keep her around. She's kept safely in the bunker, making the best pies. Takes a bit of time for Team Free WIll to get used to not using expressions- but it's worth it for the pie."
Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz
They could be evil together. I feel like Amelia should do crimes
Same energy, would make great pals.
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Put On Your Raincoats | Scenes They Wouldn't Let Me Shoot! (Pachard, 1984)
Henri Pachard introduces this movie by describing the proceedings as an assortment of scenes that he either didn’t think fit into or wasn’t allowed to shoot for other movies. Pachard I’ve found to be a pretty genial presence anytime he’s stepped in front of the camera, so the tone of his introduction is less confrontational than the title would suggest and more “here’s a bunch of scenes that I hope you like.” I’d previously seen Pachard employ a bit of this “how the sausage is made” framing device in Viva Vanessa, where he allows himself to look somewhat unflattering when surprising his star Vanessa Del Rio with a figure from her past. There’s only very mild pushback here, but I think this element helps make this pretty interesting. Obviously this is geared towards straight men, but I think the most daring thing about this is the extent to which it dissolves the barriers between male and female fantasies. All but one of the sex scenes are explicitly framed as the fantasies of one of the women who participate, but Pachard lets you hear him direct as well, which gives the fantasy framing device a certain charge.
There’s the first scene where Honey Wilder envisions being encouraged by Sharon Kane to feel beautiful and participate in group sex. A lot of the power of this scene comes from Wilder’s trepidation and vulnerability. Group sex is the raison d’etre, but the scene centres Wilder’s desire to give it some emotional grounding. I often find group scenes kinda boring to watch, but Wilder gives this a clear focal point. The only downside to this scene is that I didn’t really buy leather daddy Jamie Gillis as an object of desire, mostly because I think wearing a vest without a shirt underneath looks dumb. Maybe that’s a me problem.
Then we get a scene where Annette Heinz fantasizes about fucking a man she cares about in the ass with a strap-on (which she later refers to as her cock), and then proceeds to actualize her desires with the help of Taija Rae and David Christopher in a scene with a firm domination element. I’m mostly used to seeing BDSM in vintage pornography in a roughie context, so it’s nice to see it presented as consensual without losing its charge. I should also note that the video image makes Heinz’s hair look radioactive.
The next scene is a lesbian scene that further pushes the gender bending, with Renee Summers disguised as a man getting found out and then dominated by Sharon Kane who then similarly deploys a strap-on into the action. This one also further emphasizes the artifice of the domination elements, as we can hear Kane checking in on Summers during their scene alongside the direction by Pachard as their scene progresses. At this point I should note that Summers looks a lot like Irm Hermann, so if anyone asks why I watched this, I thought it was a Fassbinder movie. I should also note that Summers has cute cheeks, so I think I’ll check out some more “Fassbinder movies.”
Then we get Pachard explaining the importance of consent when filming a scene and the challenge of depicting nonconsensual sex. In this case, it’s Eric Edwards getting ravished by Robin Everett, Tiffany Clark and Summers (who returns for this and the next scene). This scene presents some mild pushback to Pachard’s direction, as the respond to him at one point with “We’re not acrobats, Ron!”
The last one has Summers fantasizing about sneaking into the men’s room to watch men urinate while she masturbates, only to be discovered and subject to some degrading sex. This is definitely the edgiest scene, with some absolutely filthy narration by Summers plus Jamie Gillis and George Payne bringing some strong dom energy as they double-team her. (I think Gillis is a lot more compelling here than in his earlier scene. Also, I don’t know how much this will do it and for whom, but Gillis and Payne shake their hands and talk about their dates during the scene.) To be honest, this scene is probably the least to my taste in terms of content, but I think this is where the framing device saves it in my eyes. I could easily see this playing as mean-spirited and sleazy, but the fact that it presents the proceedings from Summers’ POV and gives her so much narration gives it a pleasingly perverted charge.
This is an SOV production so perhaps there are limitations to how good it can look, but I think Pachard solutions for it pretty effectively with minimalist mise en scene and stripped down colour schemes: blue and gold in the Wilder group scene, the black background in the Heinz strap-on scene, the blue lighting in the Kane-Summers lesbian scene, the blue bed and black background in the reverse gangbang. Only the last scene isn’t stylized in this respect, although the fact that it looks like a real bathroom likely gives it some of its charge. Pachard’s camera knows where to look and when to cut to keep the proceedings nice and spicy, and the domination and fantasy elements let the performers have presence despite the lack of plot. The Boingoingoing factor is strong, is what I’m saying. And while I’ve apparently seen her in a few things, Renee Summers is a real discovery in this, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m just going to go watch more “Fassbinder movies.”
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Not So Dangerous Liaison - Sidney Crosby - Part 27
Word Count: 3,429
POV: Reader
Warngings: Language, NSFW, Smut
Notes: Here we are again. I think you all might kill me in future chapters so for now, let’s enjoy this one...haha. As always love your feedback and Happy Reading! Let me know what you guys think.
Not So Dangerous Liaison Masterlist
It was less than two weeks after your conversation with Mario that you and Sid were traveling to Los Angeles for the All Star game. Geno and Anna were supposed to be with you, but because of an injury, they had to back out. It was better for him to rest up anyhow. For Sid, it was more work than fun, though he did have a more carefree attitude than when he's normally on the ice. The two of you did sneak in some nice alone time over the few days.
Once you were back in Pittsburgh, it was business as normal. Well, maybe normal wouldn't be the right word for you, as you were busy helping with the Stadium series game that would take place at the end of February against the Flyers. Your hours were a little later when you were in town, which Sid didn't mind as he just spent extra time on the ice or watching films while he waited for you. You insisted that you could just take separate cars, but he wouldn't hear of it. It was really quite cute of him.
The days leading up to the game were packed. The guys were doing media and squeezing in practices with their new equipment, while you worked behind the scenes with the rest of the crew setting things up. You wanted Heinz Field to feel just like PPG Arena did for them. The weather had everyone in a tither as Pittsburgh had got a bit of a warm front. Days leading up to the game saw temperatures in the seventies which was almost unheard of, for a February in Pennsylvania. In fact, on the day of the family skate, you were all literally wearing jeans and lightweight sweaters as you stood around watching the guys practice.
"Will you hold Scar for me?" Vero asked. You were watching the guys practice with the ladies today, instead of by the bench. It was a rare occurrence that you got to take a game in with them, so it was a nice change of pace. She handed baby Scarlett off to you while she bent down and put on Estelle's skates.
"Hello, sweetness," you said to the one-and-a-half-year-old, kissing her little cheeks in the process. "Do you see daddy out there?" You pointed out where Marc Andre was and Scarlett smiled.
"Hi, daddy!" She yelled, but you weren't entirely sure he could hear her, as he was all the way down in net. "Unc Sid!" She exclaimed when Sidney came by and tapped on the glass.
"Hi Scar!" He waved at her then gave you a look. One you weren't entirely sure you'd ever seen, before skating away leaving you to wonder what was going through his head. Practice ended soon thereafter and you all joined the guys out on the ice. Though most of them shed their pads due to the heat of the afternoon sun.
"Ice looked a little slushy," you commented to Sid when he skated over to you.
"It's not bad. They said the temperature's supposed to drop tonight and tomorrow so we'll be ok. Come on." He grabbed your hand pulling you out onto the ice with him. It was something you still weren't comfortable doing. Sid could literally skate circles around anyone, while you still had to concentrate if you wanted to go backward. He recognized that and always made sure he held onto you so that you wouldn't fall. "You looked good out there." He said offhandedly as you made your way around the now shiny surface of the ice.
"Huh? I wasn't doing anything. I'm pretty sure I should be saying that to you."
"That's not what I meant."
"Obviously," you said hitting him playfully and losing your balance at the same time. Sid righted you with ease so that to the casual onlooker they never would've seen you stumble.
"I meant holding Scarlett."
"Oh well, she's easy to love that's for sure. I'm going to miss them when they go." With the expansion team coming to Vegas, it was already widely known within the team that Flower would be the member they would choose. It was crushing, not only to you but to Sid as well. Your friendship with the Fleury's was one of the things you both treasured most; they were the reason you were with Sid right now. And while they would always be some of your best friends' things wouldn't be the same in Pittsburgh without them.
"I know," Sid replied wistfully. "But we've still got them for now." You skated around a few more times, before he let you go, only so that he could wrap his arms around your midsection and skate with you from behind. It was definitely intimate and you were surprised with all the media around that Sid was into such a public display of affection. Sure there had been the parades, but usually, he tried to keep your relationship out of the public eye if he could. "I just think you really looked good." He whispered in your ear.
"You've seen me in this outfit before."
"Not that, you know…" You had to crane your neck back to look at him, but you noticed he was turning a bit red and it had nothing to do with the unseasonably warm temperatures. "Holding Scarlett." He finally spit out. "It makes me think about having our own."
"OH!" The word came out a little louder than you intended. Of course, Sid had confessed that he wanted kids with you. It just seemed like something that was further away in the future and not something that he'd been thinking about recently.
"I know you're going to tell me it's too soon, and maybe you're right. I just can't help but think about it on days like today." You looked around then, watching all the guys skate with their significant others, some with kids while others had kids on the way. You could see the allure. As the two of you continued to glide around the ice, you let your mind wander to what it would be like. It was easy to picture, especially after watching Sid this summer with his Little Penguins camp. He'd be holding your son's or daughter's hands, much like Flower was doing now with Estelle, helping them navigate the ice. When Sid's hands tightened around your waist you couldn't stop yourself from wondering what it would feel like to be growing his child inside you. You found yourself relaxing more into Sid's embrace as you daydreamed about your future.
"It's definitely a nice picture," you finally sighed, letting him know that you weren't opposed to the idea.
"Yeah, yeah it is." His voice took on a dreamy quality and you knew he was imagining the same thing as you. It seemed like one minute you were caught up in your little fantasy and the next you guys were having to leave the ice and it was back to reality. Not that your reality was a bad one, you still had Sid and for now, that's all you needed.
Sid was right temperatures definitely cooled down. By game time the following day, it was barely thirty degrees and falling. You were bundled up in a coat with the team logo on it along with a matching tossle cap on your head. Sid had been mad that you hadn't worn the one all the ladies got with their guys' number on it, but you had insisted that when you were on the clock you were rooting for the entire team and not just him. At the moment you were wishing you had it so that you could put it on top of your current one. Your teeth were chattering and you kept bouncing on the balls of your feet to keep you warm.
Midway through the first Sid scored, which had you jumping up and down and cheering along with the team as well as the thousands of fans in the stadium. It did little to help get you warm and you were practically running to the locker room tunnel by end of the first. You grabbed a cup of hot tea while the players went over the first period and where they could make improvements. It went pretty much the same way in the second, even though Nick Bonino scored early the Flyers were able to cut the lead in half with a goal from Jakub Voracek. Again, you raced off to get warm as soon as the horn sounded.
Your feet were numb by the time Cully scored a goal early in the third, and though the Flyers scored on a power play, Chad Ruhwedel sealed the Pens victory with over five minutes left in play. The stadium erupted with the win, though it did little to warm you up. You stayed long enough to watch the team skate around in their little victory lap, then headed back down to the nice warm locker room.
Of course, Sid had to do media, which meant you were there even longer. He was afforded the luxury of a nice hot shower before the two of you headed home. "Can you please turn the heat up?" you whined once you were in the car. "I'm freezing."
"It was a bit cold out there, eh?" Sid commented as he turned the heat on your side of the vehicle to max.
"Ya think? I thought I was going to freeze to death when the snow started to fly."
"Babe, it's all part of outdoor hockey." He grabbed one of your hands in his. "Fuck, you are cold. You should've worn thermals or something."
"Trust me I will next time. I think it's just worse because of how beautiful it was yesterday."
"Well, as soon as we get home, we'll get you in the tub."
"Uh, yes, please." The ride through the city, while mostly traffic free, seemed endless.
"Head upstairs, babe and I'll bring you up a cup of tea as soon as I get rid of my gear." Not having to be told twice, you made your way up to your shared master bath and started running the water. You hated stripping out of your clothes, as it felt like the only warmth your body had at the moment but as soon as your toes touched the steaming water, you sighed as the warmth heated your skin. You were fully immersed up to your neck by the time Sid came up with a steaming mug full of tea. "Better?"
"A little," you answered taking a sip of the drink he'd prepared perfectly for you before setting it back down on the ledge of the tub. "Still a bit chilly."
"Well in that case." Sid started to strip out of his clothes. Divesting himself of his suit that he'd worn to the game. He folded it over the chair you used to put your makeup on, so that it didn't get any wrinkles, then made his way over to you and the tub. "Scooch up, babe." You did and he scooted in behind you, easing you back against him once he was comfortable in the water. His arms wrapped around you instantly and you felt engulfed in his heat. "This better?"
"Mmm much." You were completely content wrapped up in your boyfriend's arms with the water lapping around you both, so you rested your head against his chest. "You played really well tonight," you mused shutting your eyes and just giving yourself over to the warmth that was Sid.
"It was a lot of fun. I love playing outdoors. It's so authentic." Only Sid would put it like that, but you knew what he meant. "Though I wish you would've dressed warmer baby."
"I'm fine now." You took another long sip of tea, the temperature perfect.
Sid kissed your temple. "Good, can't have you getting sick on me."
"God no, I'll have to sleep in the guest room, if that happens."
"Why?"
"I'm not going to be responsible for getting the star player sick." You told him, turning your head so that you could look him in the eye. "You will not be missing a game because of me."
"I'd still probably end up missing a game because I wouldn't be able to sleep without you in our bed." His arms tightened around you, almost as if you were going to run off to the guest room right then. "But we're not worrying about that now, because we are definitely sleeping in the same bed tonight." His lips captured yours then, stealing your breath away and heating your body all the way to your core. You could feel his erecting grow against you as the kiss went on. It was nothing to reach behind you and wrap your fingers around his length. He moaned into your mouth, before gently sucking on your bottom lip as he broke the kiss. "You know two can play that game." His hand stole down your stomach and slipped between your folds, the water making it easy for him to caress you there. Your hand stuttered on his cock as he slid two fingers into you. Sid took the opportunity to grab your wrist with his free hand so that you could no longer manipulate him as you liked. "Lean your head back and enjoy this for a bit."
"But…"
"We'll get to that." He told you as he settled you against him once again. He shimmied his legs so that they were in between yours but only for a moment so that he could spread yours wide; your legs now splayed on either side of his. Sid's fingers continued to toy with your pussy, alternating between pumping in and out of you and rubbing circles on your clit, while his other hand tweaked your nipples into taut little peaks. Before you knew it you were panting with need, the chill of the evening game completely forgotten as Sid stoked a fire deep within you. His lips came down on the nape of your neck, his tongue driving you wild just as his fingers were. It was all too much as the water gently lapped at your skin. You felt your body gently rise into his touch, yet he held you firm working you towards that peak you craved. It didn't take long for your orgasm to hit. It washed over you like a wave cresting on the sand as your body trembled, this time not from the cold but the pleasure of Sid's touch. "You're so fucking sexy when you cum." His warm breath sent a shiver down your spine.
You were so sated you almost didn't want to move, but then you wanted him to experience the same ecstasy that you'd just felt. "We should…" you went to tell him that you should move to the bed but Sid had other plans.
"We'll be fine here, just kneel for a second." Your legs were already on either side of him, so it wasn't hard. He adjusted himself a bit, sitting more upright in the tub, before bending his knees slightly for you to lean against. You turned your head to the side to see him stroke himself a couple times, before lining himself up with your pussy. "Now just come back a little." You did as instructed; your pussy engulfing his cock as you basically sat reverse cowgirl on him. With his knees bent you leveraged yourself against them and started to ride his cock. "Fuck baby, you feel so good." His hands were on your hips making sure you wouldn't slip in the tub, but controlling your pace as well.
Water sloshed against the sides of the tub, some of it spilling over the sides. "Oh shit," you moaned out knowing that you were making a mess of the bathroom floor.
Sid could see where your thoughts were going. "Forget it, (Y/N). We'll get it later." He accentuated his words by thrusting up deep inside you. The action making you groan with desire. "That feel good, baby?"
"Yes," you cried out as he hit your g-spot again. "Right there," you panted and he hit the spot over and over again until you were convulsing around him in your second climax.
"Jesus, (Y/N)," Sid moaned as your pussy gripped him like a vice. The grip he had on your hips tightened as he rammed into your cunt. He was so close to falling off the edge and cumming with you but he wanted to hold off, make it last longer, give you one more orgasm before he sought his own pleasure. Sid slowed his thrusts then, as you relaxed momentarily against his knees. "So fucking beautiful." It took you a moment to catch your breath before you started to move again. His thrusts weren't as deep as before, giving you a moment's reprieve before he went at it again. You knew Sid, knew he could keep up this leisurely pace all night if he wanted. The water was cooling though, and even though your body was still on fire after two orgasms you had no wish to be cold again. It was then that you decided to move your hips, rocking in a motion that you knew would drive him wild. And it did. It wasn't long before he was bucking up into you again. The water going everywhere now. Some of it even hitting his designer suit which rested across the room on the chair. "Fuck, (Y/N)," he hissed out and you could tell he wouldn't last much longer at this pace. He let one hand snake around to your clit. His fingers applying just the right amount of pressure there, as he rubbed circles into the little nub.
"Sid, I'm gonna…"
"Yes, baby, yes," he groaned on the verge of hitting his peak as well. You were both there with a few thrusts. His hot cum filling you up as you quaked around him. The pleasure so intense you swore you saw stars. Sid collapsed against the back of the tub and while you wanted to follow, the position you were in did not make it that easy. It took a little maneuvering on both your parts, but soon you were back to lounging against Sid.
"We should get out." The water was definitely cooled now and this time you shivered from it.
"You still cold?"
"A little."
"Well, let's get you in bed then." The towel you had laid out was completely soaked, so you just laid it across the floor as you moved to get out of the tub. "Careful," Sid warned as you stepped out onto the shiny marble floor. You moved quickly yet cautiously to the cabinet and grabbed both of you a towel while laying down a few more to soak up the water.
You'd just finished wrapping the fluffy white towel around your body when Sid scooped you up and headed towards the bedroom. "Sid, stop! I need to clean up that mess."
"It'll dry." He must have been anticipating how the night would go for the bed was already turned down as he placed you in the middle of the mattress. He scooted in behind you, discarding his towel in one swift motion, before sweeping the covers over both of you. His hands made quick work of ridding you of the wet cloth that was helping you dry. "They say body heat is the fastest way to warm someone up."
"Hmm, is that so," you said turning in his embrace.
"Mmmhmm. I'm sure I read it somewhere."
"I'm sure you did. I'm just wondering what else this book said."
His hands were roaming up and down your back and gliding across the globes of your ass. "Oh, lots more."
You kissed his neck wanting to return the favor he had given you a while ago, then you moved to his chest before saying, "such as?" You continued your path downward over Sid's abs.
"I'm sure there was…" he sucked in a breath as you placed a warm kiss on his pelvis. "Fuck I can't think of a word."
You grinned up at him from beneath the covers. "Let me see if I can make you forget all together." Sid lost all train of thought as your lips connected with his cock. The night continued on like that for a few more hours before the two of you were so sated you could do nothing but sleep.
#Sidney Crosby#not so dangerous liaison series#nsdl#Sidney Crosby smut#sidney crosby imagine#sidney crosby imagines#Pittsburgh Penguins imagine#Pittsburgh Penguins imagines#hockey smut#hockey imagine#hockey fanfic#nhl smut#nhl imagine#nhl imagines#nhl fanfic
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Something short about Cordelia Sakamaki...
Is hating her valid?
YES
People hate her for being abusive, which is a great reason to hate someone, BUT EVERY SINGLE FUCKING CHARACTER IN DIABOLIK LOVERS EXCEPT YUI IS ABUSIVE.
When Cordelia threw Ayato in the lake she's evil bitch, which I'm not denying, but when Ayato threw Yui in a pool (and humans can die of drowning unlike vampires) it's romantic?!
And no, "Ayato was abused" isn't an excuse to be abusive nor argument for Cordelia hate if you like Ayato, because Cordelia was abused too, by her husband and father, said by Ayato himself (about Karl)
Sadly I think most of the fans are like this is because she's a female, and no I'm not looking for excuses it's just the way it is. Karl Heinz, WHO ABUSED EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER, especially Cordelia because she's only one that actually loves him, gets like... 5% of the hate he deserves? Basically almost all content I can find on him is "lol Ketchup lord" and shitty dad jokes.
Again, hate Cordelia all you want it's totally valid, but if you're gonna love Ayato while completely ignoring that they are more similar than they are different then I don't know what to tell ya, you probably a thirsty 14 year old or some.
Ayato, I'm talking canon material only, is like 80% Cordelia - possessive, self absorbed, superiority complex, beautiful green eyes
Hell Ayato even got the lowest rating when the first game came out because of his personality and not being able to actually love SO due to his Oedipus complex, which I know is pretty fucked up but it's original Ayato.
#ayato sakamaki#sakamaki ayato#ayato#cordelia sakamaki#cordelia#dl manga#diabolik lovers#dl game#probably losing followers but oh well#ooc
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EPISODE 3 TRANSCRIPT
-opening music-
LORRIE
Alright- [soft movement sounds] recording time. Reeecording time. One, two, three. [flip through the book, door opens]
Ah- fuck-
FISH
Oh! Shit- sorry- were you in the middle of something? Uh...sorry. I made lunch. Bahn mi! Y’know, the one I begged my brother for the recipe of? Uh- do you want some? I mean, I can’t guarantee it’s gonna be great ‘cause...it’s me...but it is getting cold! So...
LORRIE
I was just about to start recording, but lunch sounds...awesome, actually! But before we go, do you want to introduce yourself to the mic? I decided I wanted to keep the extra recordings and stuff, just for… me, I guess? Like- kinda like a journal. [brief pause]
My therapist did recommend I start journaling, but writing out my thoughts is hard as fuck. Talking into a microphone is much easier.
FISH
Oh. Okay, so just like...lamer scrapbooking- Yeah! Yeah, I guess. [taps the mic] uh. Check check? ...Right, okay. So, my name is Fish. Just- just Fish. I picked it out myself, actually, ‘cus i really like fish? Y’know? Uh, stonefish specifically but...I think sharks are really cool- are sharks fish? Anyway! [drifting off] I like she/her or they/them pronouns...um...that’s about it. Anyway, I’m here to make sure that Mr. Skeptic over here isn’t going haywire, given all the bullshit I’ve been hearing recently.
LORRIE
[soft laugh] That’s...enough, that’s good. Maybe I should do one of those myself. [pause, deep breath] Okay, uh. Hi, I’m Lorrie. I also picked that name out, sounds like a bird name. There is a bird named Lorrie, but it’s spelled differently. And it’s really colorful, which is the opposite of me! Um, I mainly use he/him or it/its pronouns, they/them is okay sometimes, but it’s best to stay away from it? And I’m not going haywire! Things are just… a little bit weird. It’s probably just hallucinations, it’s nothing.
FISH
A little bit? With all- [sigh, in a sarcastic tone] Okay, fine. Reaaaal convincing. Yeah! Believe that, 100%. ‘Kay, anyway... [laughter]
LORRIE
[sigh] Listen- just. Just shut the fuck up. [more laughter] I’m excited for lunch, though, I don’t remember the last time I ate, actually-
FISH
That’s...not ideal, but kind of the point. So...oh! Well, hopefully you ate before getting that tattoo, did uh- it looks...new. When did you…? [sigh] Okay. What’s with the eyes?
LORRIE
I think they’re cool. I got the tattoo a couple days ago, I’m pretty sure I got something to eat before it? Not a big deal.
FISH
[pause, dumbfounded and concerned] A couple days? Okay, holy shit, Lor. Let’s go get something to eat, okay? Lunch is getting cold, so.
LORRIE
Y-Yeah, that sounds good. Let me ju-just- [muffled movement, recording stops]
LORRIE
Aaaand we’re back. Lunch has been eaten, I feel- a lot better, honestly, and I think it’s a good time to record? [papers rustling] Um...where…? [collects himself] Uh, Fish left for work a little bit ago, which means the only idiot in the house with me is my dog! I’ll be able to work now, I think. Even if reading it makes me feel all- fuckin’ weird. It’s not a- not a great feeling. Not a great feeling at all. Fuck. Okay. Um. Take one of Rumpels-
[cut]
[weary] Take...five? I think? Of Rumpelstiltskin.
[cut]
Take nine of Rumplestiltskin. Read by Lorrie Adams.
RUMPELSTILTSKIN
Once upon a time, there was a miller who was poor, but he had a beautiful daughter. Now it happened that he was talking with the king one time, and to make himself seem important he said to the king: "I have a daughter who can spin straw into gold."
"That's an art that pleases me;” the king replied, “if your daughter is as talented as you say, bring her to my castle tomorrow and I will put her to the test."
When the maiden was brought to him he led her into a room that was filled with straw. There he gave her a spinning-wheel and a spindle and said: "Now get to work, if you don’t spin straw into gold by morning, then you must die." Then he locked the room himself, and she remained inside all alone.
The miller's poor daughter sat there feeling close to her wit’s end, for she knew nothing of spinning straw into gold, and her fear grew greater and greater. When she began to weep, the door suddenly opened and a little man entered, saying: "Good evening, Mistress Miller, why are you weeping so?"
“Oh,” answered the maiden, "I'm supposed to spin straw into gold, and I don't know how."
The little man then said: "What will you give me if I spin it for you?"
"My necklace," the maiden said. The little man took the necklace and sat down at the wheel, and whizz, whizz, whizz, three times round the spool was full. Then he put on another one, and whizz, whizz, whizz, the second one was full; and so it went on until morning, until all the straw was spun and all the spools were filled with gold. The king appeared right at the sunrise and when he saw the gold he was surprised and pleased, but his heart grew even greedier. He locked the miller’s daughter in another room, one that was even larger than the first, and he ordered her to spin all the straw into gold if she valued her life.
The maiden did not know what to do and began to weep; then once again the door opened and the little man appeared and said: "What will you give me if I spin the straw into gold for you?"
"The ring from my finger," answered the maiden. The little man took the ring, began to work away at the wheel again, and by morning he had spun all the straw into shining gold. The king was extremely pleased by the sight; but his lust for gold was still not satisfied. So he had the miller's daughter brought into an even larger room, and said to her: "You must have all this spun to gold tonight, but if you succeed, you shall become my wife." To himself he thought: Even though she’s just a miller's daughter, I’ll never find a richer woman anywhere in the world.
When the maiden was alone the little man came again for the third time and asked: "What will you give me if I spin the straw for you once more?"
"I have nothing left to give," answered the maiden.
"Then promise me your first child when you become queen."
"Who knows whether it will ever come to that?" thought the miller's daughter, and since she knew no other way out of her predicament, she promised the little man what he had demanded, and in return the little man spun the straw into gold once again. When the king came in the morning and found everything he had wished, he married her, and the miller's daughter became a queen.
After a year she gave birth to a beautiful child, and the little man had disappeared from her mind. But now he suddenly appeared in her room and said: "Now give me what you promised." The queen was horrified, and offered the little man all the treasures of the kingdom if he would let her keep her child. But the little man replied: "No, something living is more important to me than all the treasures in the world." Then the queen began to grieve and weep so much that the little man felt sorry for her. "I'll give you three days time," he said, "if you guess my name by the third day, you shall keep your child."
The queen spent the entire night trying to recall all the names she had ever heard. She also sent a messenger out into the country to inquire high and low names there were. On the following day when the little man appeared, she began with Kaspar, Melchior, Balzar, and listed all the names she knew, one after the other, but to all of them the little man said: "That's not my name." The second day she had her servants ask around in the neighboring area which names people used, and she came up with the most unusual and strangest names when the little man appeared. "Is your name Ribs of Beef? Or Muttonchops? Or Laced Leg?" But he always replied: “That’s not my name.” On the third day the messenger returned and reported, "I couldn't find a single new name, but as I was climbing a high mountain at the edge of the forest, where the fox and the hare say goodnight to each other, I saw a small cottage, and in front of the cottage was a fire, and around the fire danced a ridiculous little man who was hopping on one leg and screeching:
“Today I'll brew, tomorrow I'll bake,
Soon I'll have the queen's namesake;
Oh, how hard it is to play my game,
For Rumpelstiltskin is my name."
And you can imagine how happy the queen was when she heard the name. As soon as the little man entered and asked: “What’s my name, your highness?”
She responded first by guessing: "Is your name Cunce?" "No." "Is your name Heinz?" "No." "Can your name be...Rumpelstiltskin?"
"The devil told you! the devil told you!" the little man screamed, and he stamped so ferociously with his right foot that his leg went deep into the ground up to his waist. Then he grabbed the other foot angrily with both hands and ripped himself in two.
LORRIE
[yawn] There’s another number for me to read. [stuttering] Another story. I didn’t- say this in my personal introduction, but I’m [trying to snap himself out of it. literally] working for like, something akin to an audiobook company? These are my- story recordings. Not perfect, by any means, but they’re alright enough, and not really ever my final takes. Um. I like this job. Fully remote, surprisingly good pay for it being paid by commission mostly- I don’t know...why people would want these stories read out, but that’s beside the point. I make enough to get a pretty nice apartment, for me and Fish. They sent me this collection of stories to read from, it’s in this [stuttering and snapping again] big book- this big paperback book, um, and they...they- I get emails with the story numbers that they want me to read? Because they’re all numbered in this book. And the stories are never more than a couple pages at a time, which...is kinda weird because the recordings end up being pretty short that way? I don’t know if they want...more from me for it, but that’s also beside the point.
Anyways. Take 1 of Briar Rose, read by Lorrie Ada-
[very tired] Take 3 of Briar Ro-
Ppppbbbt. [hyping himself up] Okay. Okay, you can do this, Lorrie. It’s not that hard, you’re just talking into a fucking microphone. Okay. Okay. Hm. [drinks something. water..?] Take 13 of Briar Rose, read by Lorrie Adams.
BRIAR ROSE
In times of old there lived a king and queen, and every day they said, "Oh, if only we had a child!" yet they never had one.
Then one day, as the queen went out bathing, a frog happened to crawl ashore and say to her: “Your wish shall be fulfilled. Before the year is out, you shall give birth to a daughter.”
The frog’s prediction came true, and the queen gave birth to a girl who was so beautiful that the king was overjoyed and decided to hold a great feast. Not only did he invite his relatives, friends, and acquaintances, but also the wise women in the hope that they would be generous and kind to his daughter. There were thirteen wise women in his kingdom, but he only had twelve golden plates from which they could eat. Therefore, one of them had to remain home. The feast was celebrated with tremendous splendor, and when it drew to a close, the wise women bestowed their miraculous gifts upon the child. One gave her virtue, another beauty, the third wealth, and so on until they had given her nearly everything one could possibly wish for in the world. When eleven of them had offered their gifts, the thirteenth suddenly entered the hall. She wanted to get revenge for not having been invited, and without greeting anyone or looking around, she cried out with a loud voice: “In her fifteenth year, the princess shall prick herself with a spindle and fall down dead.” That was all she said. Then she turned around and left the hall.
Everyone was horrified, but the twelfth wise woman stepped forward. She still had her wish to make, and although she could not undo the evil spell, she could nevertheless soften it. “The princess shall not die,” she said, “instead she shall fall into a deep sleep for one hundred years.”
Since the king wanted to guard his dear child against such a catastrophe, he issued an order that all the spindles in his kingdom were to be burned. Meanwhile, the gifts of the wise women fulfilled themselves in every way. The girl was so beautiful, polite, kind, and sensible, that whoever encountered her could not help but adore her. Now, on the day she turned fifteen it happened that the king and queen were not in the palace, so she wandered all over the place and explored as many rooms and chambers as she pleased. She eventually came to an old tower, climbed it’s narrow, winding staircase, and came to a small door. A rusty key was stuck in the lock, and when she turned it, the door sprang open and she saw an old woman in a little room sitting with a spindle and busily spinning flax.
“Good day, old granny!” said the princess, “What are you doing there?”
“I’m spinning,” said the old woman, and she nodded her head.
“What’s the thing that’s bobbing around in such a funny way?” Asked the maiden, and she took the spindle and wanted to spin too. But just as she touched the spindle, the magic spell began working and she pricked her finger with it. The very moment she felt the prick, she fell down on the bed that was standing there and was overcome by a deep sleep. This sleep soon spread throughout the entire palace. The king and queen had just returned home, and when they entered the hall they fell asleep, as did all the people in their court. They were followed by the horses in the stables, the dogs in the courtyard, the pigeons on the roof, and the flies on the wall. Even the fire flickering in the hearth became tired and fell asleep. The roast stopped sizzling, and the cook, who was just about to pull the kitchen boy’s hair because he had done something wrong, let him go and fell asleep. Finally, the wind died down so that not a single leaf stirred on the trees outside the castle. Soon, a briar hedge began to grow all around the castle, and it grew higher each year. Eventually, it surrounded and covered the entire castle, so that it was no longer visible. Not even the flag on the roof could be seen. Eventually the princess became known as “beautiful, sleeping Briar Rose,” and a tale about her began circulating throughout the country. From time to time, princes tried to break through and get to the castle. However, this was impossible, because the thorns clung together tightly as though they had hands, and the young men got stuck there. Indeed, they could not pry themselves loose and died miserable deaths.
After many, many years had gone by, a prince came to this country and heard an old man talking about a briar hedge. Supposedly, there was a castle standing behind the hedge and in the castle there was a remarkably beautiful princess named Briar Rose, who had been sleeping for a hundred years along with the king and queen and their entire court. The old man also knew from his grandfather that many princes had come and had tried to break through the briar hedge, but they had got stuck and died wretched deaths. “I am not afraid!” said the prince, “I intend to see the beautiful Briar Rose!”
The good old man tried his best to dissuade him, but the prince would not heed his word. Now the hundred years had just ended, and the day of which Briar Rose was to wake up again had arrived. When the prince approached the briar hedge he found nothing but little flowers that opened of their own accord and let him through, like a hedge. In the courtyard, he saw the horses and the spotted hunting dogs lying asleep. The pigeons were perched on the roof and had tucked their heads beneath their wings. When he entered the palace, the flies were asleep on the wall, the cook was still holding his hand as if he wanted to grab the kitchen boy, and the maid was sitting in front of the black chicken that she was about to pluck. As the prince continued walking, he saw the entire court lying asleep in the hall, with the king and queen beside the throne. Then he moved on, and everything was so quiet he could hear himself breathe.
Finally, he came to the tower and opened the door to the small room where Briar Rose slept. There she lay in her beauty, so marvelous that he could not take his eyes off of her. And then, he leaned over and gave her a kiss, and when his lips touched hers Briar Rose opened her eyes, woke up, and looked at him fondly. After that, they went downstairs together and the king and queen woke up along with the entire court and they all looked at each other in amazement. Soon, the horses in the courtyard stood up and shook themselves. The hunting dogs jumped around and wagged their tails, the pigeons on the roof lifted their heads from beneath their wings, looked up and flew off into the fields. The flies on the wall continued crawling, the fire in the kitchen flared up, flickered, and cooked the meat, the roast began to sizzle again, and the cook gave the kitchen boy such a box on the ear that he let out a cry while the maid finished plucking the chicken.
The wedding of the prince with Briar Rose was celebrated with great splendor, and lived happily to the end of their day.
LORRIE
[with a bad taste in his mouth] Reaaaally can’t say I’m a big fan of the whole, like...lack of consent thing? Like, who just kisses some sleeping 115 year old? Like jesus fuck, get some manners! Like, why didn’t the prince just...try shaking her? Why did he just immediately kiss her- what the FUCK-
Anyways, I couldn’t stop yawning during that recording, if that says anything about my thoughts on it. I hope I didn’t put you to sleep, at least. Whoever ends up listening to this. I think I need to go to bed. Goodnight, end recording.
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First Impressions Recap
OK so I had to recap this episode cause it reveals a lot about our favorite characters! Plus it’s my favorite out of the season so far!
Who made a Steam game that conveniently has creatures Milo’s dealt with so far?
I like how this short scene reveals a lot about how Brigitte’s pregnancy went.
1. Brigitte and Martin didn’t know if they were having a boy or girl. Whether this is due to a deliberate decision on their part or if Murphy’s Law prevented did something to prevent them from viewing an ultrasound is unknown. Personally I like to think they wanted to be surprised.
2. Murphy’s Law first expresses itself when the mother goes into labor.
3. Judging from Sara’s “Yeah, I got it, call an ambulance” reaction, they prepared her really well!
Can we get more of Brigitte in overalls? Honestly, Brigitte just has a beautiful design she’s one of my favorite supporting characters
MOM OF THE YEAR
LITTLE DIOGEE WHAT A SWEET PUPPER
“Hi, I’m Melissa Chase, Age 6. I’m Puhcocious!”
I love her introduction.
Melissa tends to matter-of-factly state things she observes, like Milo having a ton of bandages and his backpack being huge.
Melissa’s first experience with Murphy’s Law. Milo is already pretty adept at using his backpack!
Aw, Diogee is just a little escape artist!
Amanda playing with her bear is precious
Milo being upset when Melissa doesn’t want to sit by him is heartbreaking. He was so excited to make a friend, but this is the first time he’s probably been hit with the reality that people might not want to be his friends cause of Murphy’s Law.
And even without Murphy’s Law, this scene is so poignant because I’m sure we’ve all been in Milo’s position before. You’re a kid who hasn’t been hit with life’s harsh truths yet, and you go to school excited because you wanna meet some new friends. Then your new friend is a little scared to be friends for whatever reason, and you’re alone and thinking it’s something you did when it’s not your fault. Once you overcome those nerves, then you can have a friend for life.
Melissa’s first impression of Milo is that she’d been in active danger if she went near him. Milo’s first impression of Melissa is that she doesn’t want to be friends.
Ah yes, this scene looks familiar.
NEMESIS SONG YESSSSSSSSS
Though this does bring the timeline into question, because Melissa states her age is 6, and they’re 13 in the present, and it would be impossible for Perry and Heinz to meet seven years ago because the Flynn-Fletchers adopted Perry 5 years prior to ATSD, and PnF and MMLtake place in roughly 3/4ths of a year (disregarding the length of PnF’s summer here).
This is fucking worse than trying to figure out the timeline for the Pines family (there had to have been a teen pregnancy somewhere).
I would buy a Kindle if it looked like this
Also, Cavendish. I love his thick glasses and hair part. Though damn he went gray early
I just find this funny
Plus the way he just says “This deserves a lolly!”
I LOVE HOW DAKOTA JUST CARJACKS HIM
ALSO FLOOFY HAIR
AND THAT GREASER OUTFIT YO
That’s rude Dakota
I like how the lady is so offended when Cav calls her burritos lousy
And she smiles when Dakota thinks they’re awesome and delicious
Cav’s first impression of Dakota is that he’s got no sense of personal boundaries, no sense of other people’s property, and that he’s completely selfish in risking their lives just for a burrito. Dakota’s first impression of Cav is that he’s a stickler for doing things by the book.
Melissa trying to sneak up on Milo is precious
He has such a cute frowny face
Melissa has Pinkie Pie teleportation powers?!
She just needed a little time to think about it first.
Grappling hook!
Baby Bradley! With a bowlcut and buckteeth!
I can’t unhear Phineas saying these lines now
“THERE ARE RULES, MAN!”
The way Swampy delivers that is hilarious. And ah yes, the age old tradition of Cav leaning into Dakota when he’s angry
And this is Cav’s first instance of seeing Dakota risking himself to save others.
When you wanna look cool for your boyfriend
Don’t hop over the hood of a car
This is how you do a badass action sequence Dakota
Cav’s knowledge of the car’s mechanics combined with Dakota’s risky maneuvers save the day!
I think we can officially consider this their first date
FRIENDSHIP
What a beautiful beginning
So salty
I can’t believe Doof just said ‘cool story, bro’.
Cavendish saying Dakota was a good man to have around when you’re in trouble is so beautiful.
And Block’s just “I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU TWO HAVE A MAKEOUT SESH IN MY OFFICE I WILL DUMP YOU IN THE TIMESTREAM AND LEAVE YOU STRANDED FOREVER”
Conclusion: First impressions don’t give you the full picture of a person.
Milo learned that Melissa wanted to be his friend after all.
Melissa learned that Milo has a huge backpack to help protect himself and others, and that while bad luck persists around him, he’s just a nice kid who wants friends.
Cavendish learned that Dakota will risk himself to protect kids he doesn’t know.
Dakota learned that Cavendish’s knowledge can come in handy and that Cavendish won’t rat him out because he broke the rules for a good cause.
And in PnF, Heinz’s first impression of Perry as his nemesis doesn’t encompass the entirety of their relationship.
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some of your drawings remind me of the sorts of illustrations i would find in a camp songbook! its got such a warm feel. it looks like ink sketches :) i love all the little details and lines you have!! im reminded of one of your illustrations i think of chara or kris with a minefield of little marks on their cheeks. its such a cool aesthetic!! its so unique and your skinny lines look so good. your art always makes me happy when i see it! and your takes are piping hot
this was a really sweet ask set I was at work cleaning when I got them so I forget but ho wah... first off I love that the creator of the fic poured so much love and effort into the sans part yet because of me a lot of people are calling it ‘’the fic with capra’’ sksks
and yeah man !! ill always hoot and holler about how lady characters don’t have to be ‘’sexy’’ to still be considered beautiful, and thinking someone saying a character isn’t sexy is saying they’re ugly is entirely stupid like lmao? you dont call minors sexy so are all minors automatically ugly? and lady characters don’t even have to be ‘’beautiful’’--- we should be careful of what characteristics we call ‘’ugly’’ or attribute to ‘’ugly girls’’ ( ie noses that are very wide, unibrows/thick eyebrows, darker skin, frizzy/curly hair, etc) and start to actually put ‘’ugly’’ features on lady characters ie acne, scars, discoloration, greasy hair, lopsided facial structures, fucked up teeth, no ass or tits or hips, etc. Let lady characters be ugly and stop calling brickshithouse toriel ‘’sexy’’ she’s a butch mom and she’s handsome as hell
and fuck yeah !!! everybody read birdland / known unknowns i need more people to see my art of kaz eating butterfly shrimp with heinz mayo and get mad ha
#this was such a sweet set of asks i was hollering all last night over them a aa a a a a!!!!#Anonymous
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𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞
𝟎𝟏𝟓 ➺ 𝐒𝐮𝐫𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫
Pairing ➺ Ceo playboy!Ben Hardy x Reader
Warning ➺ kinda sad ):
Word Count ➺ 1,979
Summary ➺ An arranged marriage between two polar opposites.
A/N ➺ One more chapters and the series will be complete! I will be doing a thank you/q&a video once I’m done writing the series, so if you have questions please send them in! They don’t have to be Elite related questions!
Okay so! I decided 16 won’t be the epilogue but just a chapter itself, so technically there will be 17 chapters if you want to count the epilogue as a chapter? So yes! Total 17 BUT 16 is the final final chapter (:
And listen to Surrender by Natalie Taylor while reading this chapter!
Send me your thoughts, feelings, everything! It makes me day/night!
Also send me your theories! Love reading them! TEEHEHHEH
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☞ Masterlist ☜
𝘞𝘦 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘦
𝘞𝘦 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘦
(Y/N) paced around her condo running her hands through her hair every five seconds awaiting Ben’s arrival. After their conversation last week he had agreed to come to New York so they could have a proper talk. She felt anxious and nervous, it had been two years since she last saw him and well a week since she finally called him.
“H-hi Benjamin.” (Y/N) leaned forward in her seat tapping her fingers anxiously against the top of her laptop and her leg bounced up and down, she was basically a nervous wreck.
It felt like a dream, it had to be a dream. He couldn’t believe he was on the phone with (Y/N) finally hearing her voice after two years, it was truly a dream. It was as if he couldn’t find his voice, he couldn’t find a way to respond.
𝘐 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘦𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘺
𝘉𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘭𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘳𝘪𝘧𝘵 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘔𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶? 𝘔𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
“Benjamin?”
The voice of an angel, maybe he died and was now in Heaven.
“Benjamin, are you there?”
“Y-yes, hi I-I um how are you? Is everything okay?” his mind began to wander, why did she call? He missed her voice but felt guilty because he doesn’t deserve to hear from her nor a phone call from her.
Her eyes averted to the letter in front of her, the reason why she called him.
“I got your letter..”
His blood ran cold, the letter he had written the letter he thought he’d never send out.
“Could you maybe come down to New York next week? So we could talk in person?”
She was taken by surprise when he had agreed to come, she had thought he wouldn’t want to see her again.
There was a small knock on her door that pulled her out of her thoughts letting out a small yelp as it took her by surprise, she walked over to open the door expecting it to be Ben but instead it was the person who had paid her one too many surprise visits.
“Presley? What are you doing here? I’m expecting a guest-”
“I-I just want to talk, before I um leave.”
(Y/N) furrowed her brows in confusion, leave? Where could she possibly go now?
“Where are you leaving to?”
“Los Angeles, dad is opening up a branch there and wants me to run it.”
(Y/N) opened the door wider silently allowing her sister into her condo, Presley entered quietly walking in till she stood in the living room shifting awkwardly unsure if she should talk or not.
“I know you’ll never forgive me for what I’ve done to you, but I ran into Ryan last week. I met his wife and she’s so beautiful and that got me thinking that could’ve been you if I didn’t go and mess everything up. It’s like everything I touch, I can’t help but destroy it. He doesn’t remember what I did to him that night, but that got me thinking about how right now you’d either be married to him or to Ben. I’m truly and deeply sorry (Y/N) you don’t need to forgive me, I just wanted to see you before I left.”
Presley stood there watching her sister blink away the tears that had blurred her vision, she didn’t expect for (Y/N) to do what she just did, she nearly fell back from the impact of the hug. They went two years without speaking to one another, their relationship went back to normal but now (Y/N) realized her sister was about to leave again like she did ten years ago. It was time to forgive and forget, no matter how many years it’s been.
“I forgive you.”
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 (𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺)
𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘦, 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳
𝘕𝘰 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦
𝘐 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘣𝘢𝘤𝘬
Ben anxiously checked his watch every so often, (Y/N) had texted him to meet at his hotel instead due to a surprise visit from Presley and that she’d be there in ten minutes none the less. He had pictured her to be even more beautiful than the last time he saw her, the last image he had of her was tears streaming down her face as he watched her heart shatter right in front of him.
𝘐'𝘮 𝘳𝘶𝘯𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦
𝘍𝘭𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘨, 𝘮𝘺 𝘸𝘩𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘧𝘭𝘢𝘨
He wasn’t sure what he’d do when he opened the door, can he hug her? Just let her in? What will he say? Hi? Hello? I’ve missed you so much? Well maybe not the missing part even though it was true.
𝘔𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶? 𝘔𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶?
A soft knock caused Ben to pull his head out of his hands, running his fingers through his hair as he fixed his shirt trailing over to the door. His hand hovered over the golden knob he took a deep breath in and out before slowly unlocking the door and opening it to reveal the person who brought him back to life.
“Hi.” he mumbled softly entranced by the same beauty that made his heart skip a beat.
She wrapped her arms around his waist burying her head into his chest, allowing herself to relax under his tense muscles that slowly matched her touch. How she missed this feeling, the feeling of being in his arms, the feeling that she he’d be the home for her heart.
She missed it so much.
𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺 (𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘺)
𝘊𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘦, 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘸𝘦, 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳
“I’ve missed you so much.” she mumbled into his chest which caused her to tighten her grip not wanting to let go of the person she dreamt of holding, the person she wanted to see at the end of the day. The person she was sure of spending her entire life with.
Ben pulled away brining his hands to her cheeks to brush away the tears that had stained her cheeks, “Come inside so we could talk yeah?” she nodded in agreement pulling away so she could enter the room as Ben shut the door behind him. He led her into the small living room area allowing her to seat on the couch as he sat next to her.
“I just want to say, thank you for reading my letter and not burning it or throwing it away even though you had every right to do so. I’m so sorry I broke your heart (Y/N), I shouldn’t be allowed to talk to you right now. I don’t deserve you or your love, but fucking hell it’s been a hard two years without you. I went back to partying but had no one night stands,”
(Y/N) snorted quietly causing Ben to let out a soft chuckle.
“-I know shocker. But it was as if I lost the light of my life, you were the person who brought me back to life, the person who saw the good in me and believed that I could change. And I went and fucked everything over. I’m so sorry for breaking your heart (Y/N), I understand if you don’t or can’t ever love me ba-”
“That’s the thing.” (Y/N) interjected, avoiding any sort of eye contact with the man that sat next to her. No matter what she tried, no matter how many shots of vodka could help her forget the love she had for him. No matter how much she tried to distract herself and keep herself busy her mind always wandered back to Ben.
“I could never stop loving you. The moment I walked out on you, my life somewhat took a pause. Ever since I left you my life has been on pause, I’ve tried to forget you, no matter how many shots of vodka my mind always wandered back to you. I’d wonder if you were okay, if business was fine, if Frankie was okay, and the one that breaks my heart. If you found someone new.”
Nights like those, she’d lay in bed staring up at the ceiling and wondered what Ben was doing, the last thing she wanted to wonder about was if he had found someone. If he was currently sharing a bed with someone new, someone he found to love like he loved her.
“As selfish as it may sound, I didn’t want you to find someone new. I wanted you to still fight for me, for the love we have together. We went two years without speaking to one another, two years. During those two years, there were nights where I wished you were by my side, nights where I’d debate on calling you or not. Even after two years, I still love you Benjamin.”
It was true, she didn’t want to sound selfish or anything but she didn’t want him to move on. She wanted Ben to fight for their love, she wanted him to try and get her back, she didn’t want him to give up their love.
Ben turned to look at (Y/N) who’s gaze was fixed at her lap, he placed his hand hesitantly over her’s squeezing it reassuringly. Over the past two years no matter how much he spent his nights at the club he could never take a girl home, he’d feel as if he was cheating on (Y/N) again even though they weren’t together. Hence why he locked himself in his room for nearly two weeks and had to have his mother practically drag him out of bed.
“I didn’t mean to, I was just so, so alone. Those three months we spent away from one another, i lost myself.. Then i lost you-fucking hell I lost you and from then my life went down hill. I’m so s-”
(Y/N) turned her body to face Ben placing her index finger against his soft pink lips, oh how much she wanted to kiss him to feel the sparks of electricity that coursed through her veins. It’s been two years since they last saw each other, there was so much to catch up on, so much time to restart from the beginning and reintroduce themselves. This was a new year, which meant a new chapter in both their lives.
She cupped his cheeks leaning her forehead against his and she allowed the fresh tears to stain her cheeks once more. He missed this, the feeling of her hand against his cheeks, he just missed her entire being dreaming of the day he’d finally have her back. That was today, he finally got to talk to her after two years, two shitty slow years without her.
(Y/N) leaned her head back to stare into Ben’s beautiful emerald eyes that were slightly red from the tears that had slipped down his cheeks, two years without him she was lost. She went on with her life but there was always something missing, a missing puzzle to her life and that was Ben. As much as she didn’t think it was him, it was. She found herself missing him everyday, there wasn’t a day he wouldn’t cross her mind.
“Over the past two years, my life has been missing something, a puzzle that I could never find. And that puzzle was you, I tried to tell myself that maybe it was something else, someone else but I could never stop thinking of you Ben. I just missed you more and more each passing day. I finally found someone who could always have me weak at my knees every time you smiled at me, someone who caused my heart to stop when I woke up next to you in the morning, Someone who could give me butterflies over and over again. I found a home for my heart. I never stopped loving you Ben.”
“I forgive you.”
𝘐 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳
#ben hardy#ben hardy au#ben hardy fanfiction#ben hardy x reader#ben hardy x you#roger taylor fanfiction#roger taylor imagine#roger taylor x reader#loserholland#loserholland elite
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ok so...... this is the first fanfic ive ever posted online and i hope you guys like it ok im so embarassed its under the cut..
doof/perry, mostly doof talking to charlene.... kinda angsty, happy ending
The phone was ringing now.
“Charlene.”
“Always a pleasure, Heinz.”
Heinz tolled his eyes and made a sharp “tch.” Sound. He glanced over to his coffee table, moving his phone and holding it between his ear and his shoulder, freeing his hands to shuffle through the mail he had previously deposited on the piece of furniture.
“So I suppose you haven’t opened my letter yet?” Charlene questioned.
Heinz’ eyes widened, he quickly flipped through a couple of bills and sales papers will he found the letter in question.
“No I haven’t, but it’s right here. It’s a little early for this months check, not that I’m complaining.”
“This isn’t about alimony Heinz. Just open the letter”
Heinz ripped the letter open with his teeth and spit out the paper bits, getting a bit of the adhesive flavor on his tongue.
He moved his eyes across the page taking in the beautiful silver calligraphy.
“I’m getting married Heinz, and I want you to come”
Hm. Sam was a really lucky guy. Charlene has been heinz’ best friend before their marriage. She was a remarkable woman. Smart, rich, beautiful he supposed.
“Why would I want to come to your wedding Charlene? Most guys don’t wanna go watch thier ex wife get remairried. We’ve barely talked in the last 10 years aside from picking up Vanessa. Plus I’ll probably just do something to mess it up. Thanks for the thought Charlene but no, I gotta go now, goodbye.”
“Heinz wait.”
He brought the phone back up to his ear.
“You have a plus one.... I just thought it would be a great opportunity for you and...”
“Charlene you know I’m not seeing anyone right now. This is really just rubbing salt in the wound. Every girl I’ve gone out with in the last 5 years has ended in disaster-“
“Heinz when will you stop being a dumbass? You were my best friend before we were married, and I knew deep down you’d never think of me as anything more. Do you think I was happy when we split. No. I was losing my best friend. But I knew we had to so you could realize-“
“What are you saying Charlene.”
“I’m saying get it the fuck together Heinz. You keep letting petty bullshit get in the way of your happiness. I thought us splitting would allow you the freedom to do what you want to do but instead you keep doing the same things you did 15 years ago. You come home, build another inator, and check your dating apps for another woman you really aren’t into. Isn’t there anyone you can think of that your close to that you could bring to my wedding?”
“...no”
“Your hopeless. I can’t do everything for you heinz. I’m not responsible for you wasting this opportunity. The rsvp card is in the envelope. Mail it by Tuesday with your answer. Goodbye Heinz.”
With that she hung up and Heinz was alone on his couch left to wonder what she meant. Heinz had no friends. Let alone a girlfriend. The only person he ever talked to regularly anymore was perry the platypus.
Heinz got up and went to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of wine. He brought the deep mahogany colored liquid back to his spot on the couch and took off his lab coat, relaxing a little. He looked at his watch. 8:00pm. He turned on the tv and landed on the history channel. Ancient aliens marathon again. Heinz always thought Giorgio Tsoukalous would make a great addition to LOVEMUFFIN but he’s never returned heinz’ emails. Anyways what was he thinking about before? Oh right. Women. You know he’s never really had what his friends had when it came to romance. It seemed like since they were little boys back in drusselstein his buddies and of course his little brother roger have had successful relationships with women. Roger was married now. His wife was gorgeous. A total knockout. Smart too, she was a lawyer. It’s just that everyone else around him sees something in these girls that Heinz doesn’t seem to. Of course he can see when a woman is beautiful, when she has incredible talent. When she’s an inspiration. Like his old evil science professor. She was crazy smart and passionate. But it seems like his friends all notice some deeper feature. It’s kinda funny that his friends never noticed how great they all were I mean, they were handsome and smart and kind and manly and they all had something about them that was just special and.
Oh.
Oooooooooooh
Why was Charlene always right?
Epilogue:
“So perry the platypus, what do you think about that?”
Perry nodded his head and smiled. He’s been pining over this oblivious dork for months.
Perry leaned in and gave Heinz a quick peck on the cheek
[well take it slow Heinz. I know it’s all crazy for you. Plus I’m a gentleman. It’s start by being your date to Charlene’s wedding]
Perry signed this to heinz.
Heinz laughed a little bit and nodded ok
Perry jumped out of his seat and grabbed his jacket jumping off the balcony of doofenshmirtz evil incorporated and disappearing to god knows where he goes after work. Heinz never really wondered about that till now. Oh well he supposes it doesn’t really matter anyway.
What really matters is how Charlene had this all figured out. She really was a smart woman... Heinz let this thought fall away and grabbed a magazine jumping on the couch and letting his legs draped over the arm, he filled out the RSVP card and sealed the envelope shit again, sadly letting the taste of the seal onto his tongue again.
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good morning it’s today
accidentally skipped band because i set my alarm clock to 7:45 instead of 6:45. used the extra time to lie in bed, motionless, feeling numb, which surprisingly helped me feel better
periods hurt
math class, a summary: oh, i think i get this, i think, during the lesson. i flip to the homework, ready to test my knowledge. there are fourteen orange trees in a peach farm, the first question reads. because birds hate bananas, how many strawberries will Jenny the farmer eat in a month? part b asks about how many she would eat in two months if her husband raked the yard more often. i go ask the teacher for help. i am enlightened and feel relieved, until i reach the second question.
i don’t remember if i mentioned this already but i joined the AV team at my school because i helped set up this one time with taping down cables, and one of the guys saw the cables and said “YES! YES, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL, THANK YOU!! PLEASE JOIN THE AV TEAM” and so i did and now every time i tape down cables he’s ecstatic, and every time i roll them up the whole team is just- so happy. i don’t know what i’m doing that is especially noteworthy, but according to one guy i am capable of rolling a red cable which everyone else hates rolling and has the hardest time doing. also i have no idea what AV stands for. the whole AV team is so wholesome, and also all members of my grade. when we graduate, i guess the speakers will just have to yell? or perhaps they’ll find a way to get people to join.
random thing but browning your butter before making scrambled eggs with it is just- it’s so good. it’s so fucking good. please search up how to do this, it’s super easy you just let the butter sit until it turns a light golden brown and then you put in your eggs right away, i am salivating right now
i am loyal to only a few brands and one of those brands is heinz. their bottle is the best ketchup bottle i’ve experienced. i don’t so much care about the ketchup inside as i care about the bottle. it’s got a wide lid so it’s stable in the fridge, it’s got a lovely holdable shape, it’s got that rubber thingy that opens only when you squeeze the bottle and closes as soon as you stop squeezing, so no drips occur, and no ketchup mess dries on the lid, it is amazing and wonderful and heinz always in the fridge because i love ketchup so much, out of my entire family i have the most western tastes, bread, cheese, caucasian comfort food is amazing, don’t get me wrong i love asian food too but hot damn i love me a grilled cheese with tomato soup
the other brand i can think of right now is kleenex. soft tissues and pretty box designs. half of the thing i like about a company’s tissues is their box designs. kleenex has nice ones.
today has been a strange day because for the third day in a row i’ve just been able to lay back and do nothing. the weekend was understandable, but because of a strange set of circumstances, i finished all my homework at school, and when i went to work for the old lady across the street she wasn’t home, so instead i went to the park to sit on the swings for a bit. when i got there there was a sad looking kid by this- let me try to find a picture, hold on.
okay so think this but made out of rope instead, with a metal platform at the bottom. there’s a second one of these at the bottom with another metal platform. and this thing turns, but someone needs to hold part of it on the outside and run. so i went up to the kid and asked if he wanted me to spin him and he nodded and so he and another little kid got on and i started running, and in probably less than five minutes there are six kids sitting on this rope jungle gym and they’re all bundled up in thick winter jackets and hats and scarves and i can see their moms watching me, in a purple raincoat, running in circles as their children comment on the speed, the amount of circles, and their dad’s running speeds. over the span of half an hour, the kids left, and when the last two hopped off i went and sat on the swings and caught my breath. they did ask if i wanted a break sometimes, and one of the kids hopped off and spun her brother with me. i kinda miss volunteering with kids, usually i can only do it in the spring and summer. but hey, guess i can walk to the park and run in circles while the moms watch their babies. they have interesting conversations- i took part in a few, i asked where a country i think might be made up or from a book was, on the speed of a very proud child’s father, who apparently can run really really fast (though he kindly told me i run pretty fast too, just, his dad can run faster).
walking to the park, i crossed paths with a woman in an army green parka, and mouthed hello. she smiled and we both walked past each other. on my way back, we crossed paths again and i managed a vocal hello and she smiled wider and we both kept walking.
i feel like i used to be so much more cynical about other people, but being prepared to assist people and being able to say “oh i have advil” or “i have tampons” or “i have a bandaid” and seeing people respond in very genuine ways does something to my brain where it goes and makes me see other people as more human and i think that’s a good thing, and it’s also why i always keep pads and tampons in my backpack even though i just use tampons, and why i keep advil inside a little purse even though i rarely use it. just, being aware of other’s humanity really helps me relax at school and feel a bit better about being human myself. also, other people really appreciate the amount of prepared crap i have in my backpack.
i’m calling it quits, g’night y’all, take care. wish you all happy coincidences and the right amount of moisture in the air for your lungs to be happy.
#tyto stuff#i took a hot shower today#i think i'm developing a stye in my right eye#gotta heat pack it#oh yeah i have friday off#yaaay
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Cornwall: don't bother
For the first time, this year we went to Cornwall on holiday. Actually, my holiday hasn't even finished yet, but I'm confident that there is nothing that can happen in the remaining few days that could possibly redeem this holiday from hell.
I was never that emanoured about going to this rugged, southwesterly penisula to start with. Mostly because I would have much rather gone abroad. I don't go abroad every year, and I don't expect two, but after a few years, it would have been nice.
However, I had always been told how Cornwall was a beautiful place, and some of its beaches could rival those of the Mediterannean. And so, with some cautious optimism, I loaded into the car with my family at 5am that crisp late July morning, ready to go on what may have possibly been the longest car journey of my life.
And it was one hell of a trip.
We traversed our way through southern England with relative ease. We encountered the expected, inevitable congestion in Wiltshire on the A303 just by Stonehenge, a long known bottleneck. Heading west, we ended up getting directed through some anonymous market town, for reasons I don't quite know. Anyway, back onto the A30, or whatever road it was. It wasn't long before we reached the outskirts of Exeter, and stopped off at the services there, before getting onto the M5. We then got lost (again), being directed in a literal circle for about an hour, before we gave up, and decided to brave the traffic on the A38. 8 hours later, and we had arrived in St Issey, a small village near Wadebridge and Padstow, on the northern coast of cornwall.
Our residence for the week was surprisingly pleasant; the ground floor of a two storey home. It was well equipped with all sorts of amenities, including milk, biscuits, soap, and a very large map of Cornwall. All seemed to be well.
We ended up in a pub not too far away, which was also very pleasant. I had fish and chips (is it really a British coastal holiday if you don't have this culinary delight?). It was nice, but it was severely impeded by the lack of Heinz ketchup. The only restaraunt I have known not to have it. It had Hellmans, which I didn't even bother touching. There's no excuse for no Heinz.
We got back to the accomodation, and it was here where the problems started.
The people upstairs.
The noise was ridiculous.
It wasn't like they were blaring out music or anything like that. It was just constant, constant, noise. Mostly them moving, even jumping, on the floor. They woke my parents up at 3AM, and then woke me up at 7AM. To say I was not amused would be an understatement. This was further reinforced by the fact I had to sleep on the floor of the lounge, because the shared room with my brother was too hot, and the bed was too short. I'm 6 foot 3, and so this isn't really the fault of the owners of the place, as most people do not have my stature.
Anyway, life goes on. We went to Padstow (colloquially known as Padstein, no doubt to the ire of the locals, oweing to the large presence of Rick Stein's restaraunts (a British celebrity chef). I later read that one of these restaraunts had been firebombed a few years back by the so called Cornish Republican Army (CRA), an IRA knock-off, and after the attack they even stated they had a female suicide bomber in their ranks. Nice stuff. Padstow, however, was not nice. It was boring, filled with tourists, and overpriced ice cream and beverages. Most food places were closed, owing to a lack of staff amidst the "pingdemic". So we stayed there for, what, an hour? Before we headed back to the accomodation, got some lunch, and then went to the beach at Harlyn Bay. It was okay. The Cornish Climate, however, is not okay, and it's very misleading when you read that Cornwall is the "warmest place in the UK" and that parts of it have a "subtropical" climate. Despite the palm trees, the tempreatures say otherwise, with highs of 17C-19C when we were there, and to top of it off, cloud, cloud, and rain. So lovely beaches, but no lovely weather that would enable one to actually enjoy them. I've holidayed on the East Anglian coast before, which has much better weather, in the summer anyway.
Back to the house we went. We had dinner there this time, before going to the pub for drinks. Which we got lost on the way too, because Google Maps once again, got us totally fucking lost. Taking us round in circles, miles out of our way, for reasons unknown. We did end up there, and attempted to play poker with my totally inept family, a game I had recently discovered. Back to the house. And it was clear, that when we got back, we would be severely disturbed by the happenings upstairs. Constant banging, crashing, and God know's what. I was angry, probably made worse by the couple of Southern Comforts I had back at the local pub. "WILL THEY SHUT UP?" I fumed. After much persuading, by 11PM, I had managed to convince my dad to have a word with our noisy neighbours. They reassured him that they would be quiet. Not that it did much avail. I was in need of sleep, and was being deprived of it by the morons upstairs. They woke up at six fucking AM the next morning, which is taking the actual piss. Excuse me for these profanities, but I have no other way of expressing my rage at this situation. It turns out they were going to a wedding. I couldn't care if it was the Queen's Platinum Jubilee, you show some respect to the people downstairs! That day, we decided to go to Newquay.
Waste of a day.
It took us a good while to get there, mostly because of traffic approaching the car parks. We eventually found a car park, located at the top of a hill. As someone from flat East Anglia, hills are a foreign concept to me, and I resent the fact that every Cornish settlement seems to have one. We reached the town centre, and bought pasties, and I have to say, it wasn't that nice. I can't see what the fuss is about. A glorified meat pie, and the vegetables and potatoes in it weren't very nice. It was also so hot that it effectively scolded my throat. Anyway, we eventually reached the seafront, and it looked and felt just like every other shitty British seaside town. Run down, full of red faced, size XXXXL tourists from god only knows where, and reeking of greasy, oil soaked chips flooding in ketchup. We ended up in the local Wetherspoons, accustomary of any trip in my family. Given that it had run out of half of its food menu, I ordered a burger, despite planning to have one that evening. After struggling to pay for it owing to the appalling phone signal, I waited patiently fo my meal to arrive.
I waited.
And I waited some more.
And then I waited so long, I decided that something, something had gone wrong, and did the next best thing: go to the bar and complain.
"All orders are a 45 minute wait. Yours will be about 20-25 minutes" the youthful looking bartender told me. Great. Fucking great. Why had no one told me about this? I demanded a refund, resigning myself to the fact that lunch, was no more. She brought over her manager, who then informed me that my order would only be another five minutes, but I had had enough, and just asked kindly for my money back, to which she obliged. The staff then had the cheek to tell me off for eating a rather delicous Chocolate Orange brownie at the table because it had not been purchased on the premises. Forgive me, I was only a little peckish after waiting half a bloody hour for food that never turned up!
We finally made it to the beach, but we didn't stay long. We ended up in Aldi, to buy some more supplies for back home. We reached the checkouts, and made our way through the queue. As we were about to pay for our shopping, the shopping asisstant, declaring that "someone else would take over", brazenly got up from her seat, and defected from her position, leaving a queue of angry and frustrated customers without anyone to process their items, and no one to provide an explanation as to why this had occured. I had worked in a supermarket for a short period of time, and I knew full well you just don't leave a massive queue of customers queuing, even if you do have your break. "Pal, what's going on?" I asked who I presumed to be the manager. Eventually, another woman hurried over to relief her colleague. Finally, we made it out of Aldi. Then we had to trek the absolutely massive hill back to the car park, the steepest hill I have ever climbed in my life, I'll have you know. And as hills go, this one is steep. Really steep. Luckily for me, hours spent in the gym made it look easy, even with lots of shopping. More than can be said for my companions, who appeared to struggle.
We went back home, well, not home home, but our residence for the week. Dinner was good; the burgers I had made a few weeks back were cooked by mum. I had two, and was rather full. I actually managed to get a good night's sleep, oweing to the fact the people upstairs seemed to have quitened down having heeded my dad's complaint, or, were out.
We woke up the next morning, planning to go to St Ives, about an hour's drive west. However, Google Maps then told us it would in fact be an hour and a half, and so a period of confusion and deliberation ensued. Could it be done? Should it be done? Should we just not go to Padstow for a second time? Harlyn Bay (again) anyone? Fuck it, we were going to St Ives. And it took forever to get there. An eternity. 2 hours from home would have got me to Norwich, a city about 80 miles away. 2 hours in Cornwall got you about 45 miles away, at the other end of the county. In the end, it took even longer than 2 hours. Driving in Cornwall is a bit like driving in a third world country. You know. Those winding dirt tracks in India that go up ridiculously steep hills, the kind of hills with dirt tracks on them that you end up reading in the news, because of some godforsaken accident where a bus with about three hundred people ends up falling off, killing everyone in some impoverished Indian state. We ended up on one, and there was a long period of congestion, where a van on the other side of the road could not pass. Some rather hair raising moments on that journey. After a long time, we ended up in St Ives, but our troubles had only just begun, as an electronic sign politely informed us that all the car parks were full. Not that my dad, driving, listened, as he proceedd to queue in a car park, that was a glorified playing field, to no avail. We ended up in another glorified playing field, the local Rugby field, to which we were able to park in, before my mum had to queue twenty minutes for the toilet. I'm pretty sure at least five people were probably infectious with COVID there given the latest figures suggest 1 in 50 have it. We walked down another steep hill, in fact, not just one steep hill, several, as we arrived at the seafront. I can't lie, it did look stunning.
And then we ended up at the next section of seafront, and it was so very, very packed. It looked like half the country were there.
We tried to find somewhere to eat. There was this bar and pizza place, but it said you had to be 18 or over to get in. We decided to chance it with my brother, who is 16, and found a table, but the floor beneath it was covered with water, and it stunk. So we quickly left, and found a sandwich place. Of course, they didn't have what my mum and dad wanted. We sat down at a table, next to some bins, and ate, as hundreds of people passed us, along with cars, vans, trucks and minibuses at 30 second intervals, slowly edging their way through the crowds of tourists, like the parting of the Red Sea.
And that was it.
Our day in St Ives was all but over.
We got the bus back up the hill (which was filled with people, and was driven by a man who had the worst BO I've ever smelt). Then we got in the car, and went home.
We had a few hours before dinner at the local pub which wasn't even a minute away. Mum had washed her hair and dressed up, and dad had also made an effort. I didn't, and neither did my brother, which was just as well, because as we went in to confirm our booking, the waitress gave us a blank stare when we gave the name the order is in. She tried again, looking on her computer - no avail. It turns out, after showing her the booking email, we had booked at another pub of the same name - a 15 minute drive away. As if this day, and holiday, couldn't get any worse! We went back home, and did our best ot research other places, but every pub and restaraunt in the vicinity appeared to be fully booked. So were many of the take-aways. Dad and brother eventually set off for Padstow, where they returned within around half an hour or so with fish and chips, and so for the second time in a week, I found myself tucking into this very British dish, but one that was quickly getting very boring.
To make matters worse, the people upstairs returned from a short self imposed exile, and as of writing, the noise is still there. To say I am frustrated barely begins to cover my feelings towards this holiday. I will update this when I am finished, but I doubt things will improve, in fact I am almost confident things will get worse. My advice: avoid Cornwall at all costs. It's overpriced, the weather is crap, the phone signal is crap, there are too many tourist traps, and it takes ages to get to the Cornish border from just about anywhere in the UK, never mind getting to places within Cornwall! My advice if you can't go abroad this year, you're in the UK and you're considering Cornwall? Think again. Save yourself money, time, and a lot of pain, and just stay at home. You'll thank me later.
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Can you explain your reasons for those songs? I think it would be a nice analysis from you and would be v interesting!
Aww thanks! Well, this will again be opinion and interpretation based. No one can tell you what a song means to you, so these songs are just how I personally see them ^^
Warning: This will be very disjointed and ranty in places, I don’t know how much of an analysis you can get from this but I hope you enjoy~
Shuu - Do I wanna Know? by Arctic Monkeys
- This song is slow and has a sensual vibe to it, but beyond that, I somewhat feel like there’s a darker tone underlying it.
Lyrics like these: ‘Have you no idea that you’re in deep? I dreamt about you nearly every night this week. How many secrets can you keep? ‘Cause there’s this tune I found that makes me think of you somehow, And I play it on repeat until I fall asleep… ‘
- remind me of Shuyui, and in particular, Shuu’s brand of manipulation. Both he and the song lull the listener into a complacent state because of how lazy sounding they are. But the creeping, building vibe of the instrumentation, combined with the singer has menacing undertones behind it’s lethargy, making it perfect for Shuu.
Read more under cut~
Reiji - Arsonist’s lullaby by Hozier or I’ll be Good by Jaymes Young (this one is if Reiji has been redeemed through his development)
Arsonist’s lullaby is like a parallel to when Reiji was a child and burned down Edgar’s village. The song shows different stages of the life of a pyromaniac, childhood, adolescence, adulthood. The first part of the child segment reminds me of child Reiji, in that it describes him hearing voices that he can’t reach or respond to (in the song it could mean he’s schizophrenic, but for Reiji it could mean hearing Beatrix and Shuu who simply won’t hear or ‘see’ him)
The lyrics ‘All you have is your fire. And the place you need to reach’ represent Reiji’s inherent nature to strive for knowledge and acknowledgement. His fire is his intelligence and ruthless set of principles that he expects everyone including himself to adhere to. Reiji is always trying to prove himself, just not in the ‘louder’ way Ayato seeks attention.
The Jaymes Young song is just what it says above, Reiji’s possible redemption through Yui, and his acknowledgement of past misdeeds. Reiji canonically confirms that he burned down Edgar’s village but he does not gloat about it, he simply says he was ‘a child at the time.’ While this doesn’t excuse his actions, it does show that Reiji possibly regrets how he went about his feelings of pent up bitterness towards Shuu.
Ayato - Glory and Gore by Lorde, or Underdog by Kasabian
Glory and Gore is exactly what it sounds like. It has a Gladiator theme and overall links to Ayato in how it’s centred around chaos, and seems to hate the higher ups- the needlessly wealthy who create rules. ‘Dropping glasses just to hear them break’ perfectly describes Ayato to me. He’s been stifled by the royal lifestyle all his life, so the wine glasses are a perfect symbol of excess wealth.
The royal buy things simply for the sake of doing so. Ayato can break things simply because he wants to. Anything material can be replaced easily, so he’s has never learned a sense of responsibility and actively hates the laws set in place by the rich because of his oppressive, abusive mother.
Underdog is exactly the same, with lyrics like:
‘It don’t matterI won’t do what you sayYou’ve got the money and the powerI won’t go your wayI can’t take for the peopleThey don’t matter at allAnd I’ll be waiting in the shadows‘Til the day that you fall’
Kanato - Blue by Birthday Massacre
A very yandere sounding song. It talks about the expectation of waiting for someone in a very light, pleasant sounding tone, which reminds me of nicer Kanato, when he’s calm. And then suddenly the tone of the song shifts into a dark voice, showing Kanato’s wrathful side.
Laito - The Hills by The Weeknd
This one might seem a little strange at first glance, but essentially to me, the song is about a secret relationship and booty call. It parallels Laito’s overabundance of pleasure, to the point that he’s become jaded by it.
‘I only call you when it’s half past fiveThe only time that I’ll be by your sideI only love it when you touch me, not feel me’ - shows Laito’s desire for the physical and not to connect emotionally with his lover. He remains in control through sex.‘When I’m fucked up, that’s the real meWhen I’m fucked up, that’s the real me, yeah’
Subaru - Take me to Church by Hozier
Again, this might seem odd. Basically, if you think of these lyrics:
‘The only heaven I’ll be sent toIs when I’m alone with youI was born sick, but I love itCommand me to be well’
- As Subaru thinking the sickness is something he tells himself, and not an outward oppressive force like in the actual song, then it makes sense. Subaru thinks of himself as a monster, so the woman the singer describes would be Yui. She is his catharsis, the 'giggle’ at the funeral, which is his incredibly depressing life.Subaru’s 'sickness’ to him, is that he was born from incest and rape, so the church in this song would be his own thoughts and paranoia. I’m sure servants probably talked about the circumstances behind his birth in the castle and that’s how he found out about it in the first place. The forces working against Subaru could even be his Mother, which tells him often that they’re both unclean monsters, or his father.
'There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin’ - This line sums up Subayui to me.
Ruki - Control by Hasley
Most people think of Ruki as the guy who always has it together, as some sort of Master manipulator. His true self however, is very prone to stress. He’s extremely intelligent yes, but he can get overwhelmed by this stress. This song is questioning Ruki’s control. It reminds me of Ruki as a child, and also him at his darkest point, teetering on becoming a yandere like in his Manservant MB end.
These lyrics:'They send me away to find them a fortuneA chest filled with diamonds and gold’ - would be talking about the Mukami’s relying heavily on Ruki’s command. They look to him for guidance and to provide the means to survive. It can also mean Karl, who expects him to find and awaken 'Adam’ and Eve’ who are rare treasures.
These lyrics:'And all the kids cried out, “Please stop, you’re scaring me”I can’t help this awful energyGod damn right, you should be scared of meWho is in control?’Are like the orphans or Masters at the hated orphanage, or even Yui seeing Ruki’s true nature, and Ruki imagines himself above them by reassuring them that they should be afraid. Even as a child, he was a sadist.
Kou - Gasoline by Hasley
'Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?’ This song is friggin Kou. He ripped out his eye as a child to try and be less beautiful and appealing to the aristocrats who adored and abused him. This action only makes them love him more however, because of his beautiful 'imperfection.’This whole song is about being jaded by fame and having a high self destruction drive because you’ve been forced to crowd please when you don’t want to. Your true self is something the celebrities would shy away from, because your soul is broken and twisted after reshaping yourself over and over again to please people.
Yuma - Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons
A song about regret and not being strong enough. It’s basically a good way of seeing Yuma deal with his survivors guilt. He’s a very brash and strong character but in the end, his strength was not enough to save his friends.
'You’ll never be what is in your heartWeep Little Lion ManYou’re not as brave as you were at the start’
- This refers to when Yuma was a child and was in a street gang, taking on harsh challenges daily and being brave. Comparing him to a 'little lion man’ is like saying Yuma as an adult is outwardly fierce like a lion but his past guilt turns him into a child or helpless figure. When Yuma can’t protect what is important to him, he falls apart, because his identity is linked with his physical strength. If that fails him, then he’s just the little boy who watched his friends get gunned down. You could even take it as him talking to Yui after he’s ruined things with this line -
‘But it was not your fault but mineAnd it was your heart on the lineI really fucked it up this timeDidn’t I, my dear?’
Azusa - Hurt Me by Lapsley
‘So if you’re gonna hurt meWhy don’t you hurt me a little bit more?Just dig a little deeperPush a little harder than before’
This song is Azusa, to me. Particularly lyrics like these -
'Buildin’ up my walls just to tear them downTell me that it’s love, force me to drown’
Azusa is constantly looking for acknowledgement and love but because of his childhood bullies, his mind has been twisted to believe that giving and receiving pain is love. The song is basically Azusa imploring Yui (the listener) to hurt him more, because that way he truly receives her feelings.
Kino - The Stupid, the Proud by IAMX
This one is a little complicated, and has to do with how I perceive Kino. Basically I always thought of him as this ‘chess master’ character who watches the board game if you will. He watches all the other characters fight and scrap among themselves over Yui, while he himself hangs back and plans. This song is basically him describing the other characters struggles, while also talking to Yui. He has a jaded wisdom about everything.
'God is deadWe get to sleep tonight’- This line is like he’s talking about Karl Heinz, once he dies. Kino is very power hungry and wants control of everything, to be in the same position as Karl.
'Exalt yourselfDo it to stay alive’and'Hunt down your futureAnd everything you know is not enough to survive’ - are like he’s directly talking to Yui.
Shin - The Wolf by Fever Ray
This song sounds both like a tribal war song and a ritual. Since the Tsukinamis are much older than the other characters, I feel like they have more of a tie to ancient rites and nature. This song has a lot of ties to wolves and kidnapping, but it also sounds tense and hungry. It’s unusual and chaotic, which I think fits Shin.
Carla - Feral Love by Chelsea Wolfe
This song to me, feels like a companion piece to Shin’s, which is fitting. Unlike 'The Wolf’ which sounds like a group or pack of people holding a ritual, Feral Love is very singular and isolated. It’s about a lone hunter vs prey, and the beat of the music is very cold and calculated.
'Your eyes, black like an animal’ - can refer to someone with no feelings. While Carla does have feelings, he’s very goal orientated and knows what to prioritise.'And care for no one, but the offspring of your might’ - refers to Carla only wanting Yui for her body. He only wants offspring from her.
Yui - Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood and Undenied by Portishead (for when she has feelings for one of the boys)
Not enough people talk about how Yui must feel, being abandoned by her father. It wasn’t even her estranged father, no, this guy raised her. Imagine loving your parent figure, only to hear that they might be involved with your being held captive and abused. ‘Daddy Issues’ basically has her crying over that. Despite how much she tries to stay positive, this betrayal would be a massive punch in the gut for anyone to experience.
In some routes, she does try to stay loyal to the memory of her father, believing her staying with Sakamaki’s must be mistake. However, in some like Azusa’s, she meets her father again and has all her fears confirmed. Her father even tries to shoot her.
Undenied is basically Yui having a crisis of self because she’s fallen for one of the boys despite what they do to her.
Mukami brothers - Getting Nowhere by Magnetic Man
Talks about facing a struggle. If we think of it like the Mukami’s struggling for freedom or to please Karl Heinz, then it makes sense. They’ve been shoved in the dirt so often as children that being given such a large responsibility like finding Adam and Eve by a 'higher power’ makes them feel important.
Sakamaki brothers - Ready Aim Fire! by Imagine Dragons
'Off in the distance, there is resistanceBubbling up and festering’ - Basically shows how, contrary to the Mukami’s, the Sakamaki’s dislike being under the higher power’s thumb and control. They’re resistant to any rules set in place by their father or authority figures because of their childhoods.
'How come I’ve never seen your face around here?I know every single face around here’ - refers to Yui arriving.
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Chapter 03: Regret
The sunlight beamed through the panes of his window and onto his lidded sockets. His eyes opened and suddenly squinted from the assault on them. It was a beautiful day outside. Birds were singing, flowers were blooming. Despite the beauty visible from the window into the outside world, inside was anything but. He glanced out of the corners of his sockets and sighed. Clicking his tongue, he shook what was left of the post awakening daze from his head. What he saw when he looked back hadn't changed. The sunlight cast shadows in the room, over him and the form next to him making him face the cruelty and reality of his mistake. He took the heels of his hands and dug them into his sockets as if trying to wipe away what he saw.
The form next to him was still there; a woman. Naked. Sleeping. Vague memories flooded into his mind of the previous night. He had been about ready to go to bed... right? Then the phone had rang. His mind couldn't form the words in his head of what had been said, but she had barely walked in the door before they were on each other. He had hoped that it hadn't escalated as far as his mind thought it did, but scanning around the room there was all the evidence pointing to what he didn't want to face.
A dress had been thrown on the floor, a shirt on the floor, a shredded pair of lacy underwear on the doorknob with a just as tattered bra not too far away. To be truthful, he couldn't believe he was feeling the guilt in the pit of his... stomach. He had done this many times before, but maybe what bothered him most wasn't that he didn't really remember what had happened between them, but that he didn't remember her name.
Fran...? Felicia?
No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember it. All he remembered was that it started with an F. Perhaps another thing that made him sick was that she was still there. Usually during his night escapades, one would leave right after or before one woke up. He hadn't had to face someone sleeping next to him before, well a woman. He had had Paps and Frisk sleep by him when they were kids and sometimes Paps even still did it.
Frisk.
Instantly, his mood turned sour, remembering the child that had saved them and who was now a young woman. Accompanied with remembering her name and thinking of her at all beckoned the feeling of nausea. He swallowed, the last thing Sans wanted to do was vomit. With another glance at Fran or Felicia, he stood up. Scratching the back of his ivory skull, he looked around for some clothes. Donning his usual attire, he froze in place when the human woman exhaled and moved in her sleep. Sans only let an exhale leave his body when Fran or Felicia had nestled back into bed.
Sans went over and opened his one night stand's drawer and hastily moved the many items around before he took out a pad of sticky notes and a pen. Papyrus had told him he needed another night stand, but Sans had said that he kept the one for the sake of a pun; Papyrus didn't understand. Even to this day, he didn't understand the joke and when he had tried to ask Grillby, the flame elemental had almost dropped his glass. Similar reactions had come from around their circle of friends. His sockets turned to the paper and he began to write;
'hope you enjoyed yourself. get home safe.
- sans'
Reading the note over a couple of times, he decided it was satisfactory enough to use. He turned around and gathered her clothing up, one article at a time. He picked up the underwear between two phalanges, staring at had once been. The bra was just in bad of shape and when he placed the pile of clothes on the stand and put the note on them, he looked at the woman again. He didn't even remember how the lace of her underwear had gotten into that state, but from the look of bliss that was on Fran or Felicia's face, he could only assume that she had liked it. It made his ego swell a little. Sans knew he wasn't bad at what he did, but, seeing the look on their faces always did it.
Quickly, Sans retreated. He disappeared into the void between this world and another in a vapor of blue smoke, landing outside. He wiped his hand down his face and sighed, feeling a head splitter coming on. He knew what could cure a headache; fries and a burger. Shoving his hands back in the pockets of his jacket, he trudged down the street to his friend's establishment. Before someone even got to the door, the sounds of laughter and the smell of food was present. Grillby hardly ever opened the windows, he didn't want the wind to mess up his flame. Either way, the walls seemed to seep the smell and jovial mood. He hoped that it would rub off on him because right how, he needed it.
Inside, the clamor of every day life only intensified. The booths were filled and as he passed by, some monsters waved.
"Yo! Sans, what's up man?" A monster said and clasped their hands together and gave a hug and a pat on the back.
"not much, just getting something to eat." He didn't want to delve into his personal life with someone that wasn't Grillby.
Sans thought that he could just make small talk with his acquaintance and be alright, the fact that his body knew he was about to get food was already starting to alleviate his headache. Nothing stayed so simple for him,
"So how's Frisk?" He asked and the feeling of nausea returned. Why, of all topics, did this one have to come up? Sans tried to play it off and simply shrugged, his hands taking their signature place in his pockets with a small chuckle.
"dunno." Sans said and smirked, seeing his friend look at him in confusion. He tried to have a passive glare of not wanting to answer any questions, but he could rival Papyrus on the oblivious trait.
"You don't know?" The monster said and adjusted himself in the booth before continuing his thought. "You and her were attached at the hip, and you don't know?"
Sans' eye socket twitched but the smile still remained on his face. It was becoming more strained with every look that the two monsters shared.
"not my day to watch the kid."
"But Sans, you-"
"talk to ya later. i'm hungry."
Ejecting himself from the conversation elicited a sigh of relief. All he had wanted was to eat in peace and get rid of his headache. Now he was feeling nauseous and his headache was getting stronger. Fan. Fucking. Tastic. He took a seat at his usual stool and rubbed his temples with his fingers. Before he could even open his mouth to order, a glass was put in front of him. When he looked up, his best friend was shining his glass per usual.
He was hoping a good ol' bottle of Heinz would've been put in front of him, but the glass was filled with soda. Ebott Dew from the smell of it. He was a fan of it. Multiple bottles of it-great and small-littered his room mingled with the ketchup bottles. He looked from the Dew to his best friend who didn't seem to see anything wrong.
"you think this is funny?" Grillby didn't answer him. He just grabbed another glass to dry. "the fuck is this?"
Grillby didn't look at Sans, but spoke anyway, a feat in itself.
"...soda." He said. Sans never really got violent at Grillbs or yelled at him, but from the morning he was having and the sour mood he had been put in by the monster in the booth, he wasn't acting like his normal self.
"you know what the hell i mean, campfire." Sans said and put his face in his hands.
"You don't need it."
"the hell would you know, huh?"
"..." Grillby fell into silence again. Sans sighed and shook his head which rubbed his hands against his face. He felt bad and was about to apologize when Sans heard Grillby continue. Instead of cutting off the conversation, Grillbs must've just been gathering his thoughts. "What did you do?"
"i didn't do anything."
"... Liar."
"what makes you think i did something?"
"You're not acting like yourself."
Sans cringed slightly, his harsh accusations settling into his marrow. This was absolutely ridiculous. He was being absolutely ridiculous.
"so what? can't a guy have an off day?"
A few moments passed between them and was slightly elated that Grillby didn't fire back right away and internally laughed at his pun. Fire... heh. That was a good one. He'd have to share that with-... Nobody. Share it with nobody.
"What. Did. You. Do?"
Sighing in defeat, Sans looked up at Grillby and let his perpetual smile turn into a perpetual frown.
"i... spent the night with someone." When Grillby didn't respond, he figured that was a cue to keep going. "and woke up next to her."
Grillby almost dropped his glass. He cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses trying to get over the initial shock. While he hadn't approved of Sans' hobbies, he knew Sans had the one rule; don't wake up next to the woman. Feelings could develop, and well... Sans didn't need that right now. He disappeared and a couple minutes later reappeared with some food. He could tell Sans was about to lose it.
"Who was it?" He asked, hoping that they could front this off before the woman started to develop unnecessary feelings.
"i dunno. fran... felicia... freesia. it was something like that." Sans said and sighed again, taking a sip of the soda that had remained untouched. "now all i feel is regret."
While Grillby was happy to see Sans growing a conscious for all the ways he'd been acting, he didn't appreciate the sordid mood it put his friend in.
"I see. I will see what I can do if anything develops." Grillby promised.
While Sans continued to pluck at the fries and burger, he noticed Grillby would occasionally take glances at him.
"my turn. what's on your mind?" Sans asked and Grillby returned with a dismissive crackle. "so it's gonna be like that huh?" He popped another fry into his mouth and watched his friend, hoping the staring would make him crack or show some kind of weakness. He should've known better. This was Grillby after all. "so it is."
They sat in silence quietly enjoying each other's company. The further into the meal Sans got, the more his headache was disappearing as was the sentimental mood he had been in minutes prior. Occasionally, Grillbs would put another soda down in front of him. It was only when he was completely finished with both food and drink did Sans speak again.
"thanks for the food. i'm gonna head out. paps needs me to get ingredients for tonight's dinner." Sans smiled fondly when Grillby picked up the glass and plate and returned to the back room.
Outside, the wind was gently blowing, only barely disrupting the fabric of his shorts. It was cool outside and comfortable. He exhaled and closed his eyes, letting the wind glide against his bones. He still couldn't believe that he had went off like that. The monster from the booth had no doubt been the cause; randomly asking about "her" like that.
"Just leave me alone! I'm not your girlfriend, so just stay away from me! I don't even want to be your friend! I hate you!"
The words threw themselves against the walls of Sans' cranium and the moment of peace was shattered. The shadows that he had once found endearing and cheerful now seemed ominous and dark. A ringing could be heard from his pocket which gave him a few moments to realize what it was. When two and two clicked together, he grabbed his phone and answered.
"SANS! IT'S A DISASTER! A COMPLETE AND TERRIBLE DISASTER!"
"paps, what-"
"IT'S THE WORST THING THAT COULD EVER HAPPEN, EVER!"
"tell me wh-"
"I DON'T KNOW HOW I'LL EVER FEEL HAPPY AGAIN!"
"paps!" Sans said louder, but didn't yell. He didn't want his little brother to think that he was mad at him. He would've been worried, but Paps had a habit of over exaggerating... pretty much everything. "calm down and tell me what it is."
"IT'S TERRIBLE! I WENT TO GO AND MAKE DINNER AND I OPENED THE CABINET AND GUESS WHAT I FOUND?"
"a box of pasta?"
"YES, BUT WHAT ABOUT THE BOX?"
"it-"
"YES BROTHER! IT WAS EMPTY! IT'S TERRIBLE!"
Sans smiled genuinely and shook his head. His brother was such a big bag of drama sometimes. No wonder he had gotten a part in one of Mettaton's plays a few years ago. Papyrus had said that he had practiced hard for it, but Sans knew he was just acting like himself.
"paps, i tell ya what. i'll go into town and get you some more. okay?"
"MORE? FROM THE STORE! YES! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU ARE SO SMART BROTHER! THANK YOU SANS! I SHALL PREPARE MANY MORE THINGS FOR DINNER TONIGHT!"
Sans smiled and heard the 'beep' of the call ending. He laughed gently and shoved his hands and his phone into his pockets. He sighed, trying to lighten his mood again. Opening his sockets, he headed down the road towards the central part of town where the grocery stores were all... two of them.
He grabbed a basket inside the door when they swooshed open in front of him. With how much pasta he bought from here, the stores had to put in extra orders to get the pasta. He followed the numbers with his eyes even though he knew the store like the back of his hand:
Aisle 1: Produce
Aisle 2: Pet supplies
Aisle 3: Stationary
Aisle 4: Frozen foods
Aisle 5: Drinks
Aisle 6: Medicine
Aisle 7: Dairy
Aisle 8: Pasta and canned goods
He turned down aisle 8 and stopped suddenly. Sans wanted to call Sans and tell him that the store was out of pasta, but no doubt his brother would cry for hours afterwards saying he felt bad that he hadn't been able to cook for him. He kept his eyes on the boxes of pasta and jars of sauce. Might as well get some sauce too while he was here.
"Sans. Hey." The small voice had come from behind him. He didn't look at the voice and tried his hardest not to let the words register in his head. When he grabbed the items, he had turned around to leave the aisle, but she had stepped in front of his sight; not fully, but enough to where he got to see her. Her brown hair was brushed and she was wearing a sundress. He hated it. Hated her hair. Hated her eyes. Just hated every bit of her.
"what?"
"Um... Well... Whatcha getting?" She asked, peeking over into his basket. It wasn't quantum physics, the ingredients were the same every time. He moved the basket out of her sight a bit. The gesture seemed to go through since she leaned back to her full height. All 5 foot and 1 inch of her.
"pasta. sauce."
"O-Oh. You uh... What-"
"spaghetti."
There was a stand still between the two of them. Part of him had wanted to apologize when her face fell, but it was quickly washed away when he saw something he only knew was a matter of time. A large hand wrapped around her waist. Sans looked, almost bored at what he had seen: a tall human was standing next to her. His hair was blond and his eyes were blue as well.
"Oh... Was I interrupting something?" The human asked, having not taken his eyes off of Sans, the skeleton just letting out a short bitter laugh.
"no."
"Jason, this is-"
"no one important." Sans said and started to walk past them, but between the two of them, the small aisle was blocked off. He didn't want to hear anymore. He didn't want to see anymore.
"I've heard a lot about you Sans." Jason said and wrapped his arm tighter around her, happiness in his blue eyes. He hated that happiness. Looking over the two of them, he let out another bitter laugh.
"i should've known this was how it was going to end up." Sans said, looking at Jason but was talking to her.
"What do you-"
Ignoring Jason's words, Sans sat the basket down with its ingredients on the ground and turned around. He didn't want to be here. There was another store. Smaller. Farther away. He could just go up there and get it there. Without saying anything, he walked away from them and went outside. His legs took him straight to the other store.
"I hate you! I don't even want to be your friend!" That voice continued to taunt him over and over.
"good thing the feeling's mutual then, huh kid?" Sans answered the voice in his head and gathered the ingredients from the other store. He gave a fake smile to the cashier; Fall. He thought "Autumn" would've been better, but it wasn't his name. He looked at the slip of paper she had handed him. Name and phone number. "might as well use this sometime soon."
His shoes crunched against the fallen leaves. The crisp air was helping to clear his cranium from the bullshit that was in there. He actually loved it when the weather was like this. He could go ahead and enjoy it. Maybe later he would go out for a walk, probably before he called Fall. Stupid name. Had her parents been drunk? When Sans went inside the house and gave his brother the ingredients and filled the fridge with Ebott Dew, Ketchup, and other ingredients. Of course, he was met with another curveball.
"OH! SANS! I'M GLAD YOU BOUGHT SO MUCH! I INVITED ALL OUR FRIENDS TO HAVE DINNER WITH US TONIGHT! IT'S BEEN A FEW WEEKS SINCE WE ALL HUNG OUT BECAUSE WE'VE BEEN SO BUSY! IT'S A GOOD IDEA, RIGHT?"
"yeah... a good idea paps. thanks." Sans said, looking at his oblivious brother. He didn't want to think about that now. All he had to do was get through this night. For now, Papyrus said he wanted to play a game with him and beat him again.
"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A LOT OF FUN!"
"yeah paps, we are."
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What's For Tea, Darling? | A Unison One Shot
This one shot spins off of Chapter 6 but you don’t need to have read it to enjoy this one. So grab your tea and some toast and settle in for a sweet moment between Adi and Ed.
Heinz Baked Beans- The Who (PS do yourself a favor and listen to this 1 minute demonstration of why I love the Brits so so much)
I wandered around the supermarket, searching for all the items on my list. Ever since Ed had mentioned he missed having a proper fry up, I had been itching to try and bring a little piece of home to him. This was the first weekend I actually felt up to using the stove for more than just a glorified microwave. I had googled all the foods that came with the breakfast and set off to market. I felt like a college student, shopping for the perfect hangover cure. Sausage, Rashers, Eggs. Okay, that's normal. Tomatoes. Okay, we've got fried green tomatoes, that's not that odd. Wait, Ed doesn't like tomatoes though...so lets chuck those out then... Mushrooms. Okay so far nothing's too odd and pretty common. Baked beans. For breakfast? And with ketchup and sugar instead of molasses? Well, alright, Americans do tend to like things sweeter than most. Bubble and Squeak? What the hell is that? Hmm...potatoes cabbage, carrots, brussel sprouts...why can I not picture him eating brussel sprouts...lets tweak that a bit... A fried slice? A fried slice of what? Oh, bread....you literally fry the bread in egg and bacon fat. Black pudding? That sounds delicious. What is it...oh...OH....Blood sausage. Well...that's less appealing sounding. Huh, kinda looks like summer sausage...I somehow can't imagine finding it here…
After spending time looking for the right ingredients, swearing up a storm as I searched for the right type of beans. They had been very specific about the fact that they needed to be in a tomato sauce. Boy doesn't like tomatoes but inhales ketchup by the gallon. If I was going to do it, I was going to do it right or not at all. I knew he's appreciate the sentiment either way but I wanted to get it as close to the original as I possible can. I wasn't about to let some damn bean sink my fry up. Luckily, the market had quite a large selection of international food and carried the right bean. I triple checked, since apparently we Americans have our own version of Heinz beans and I wasn't about to have spent all that time searching for them, only to be beanboozled. I even added a box of English Breakfast tea to my cart. Finally I had made it back to my apartment, my arms full with the successful trip. After staring at everything, it suddenly seemed like a daunting task. I wasn't exactly what you'd call a whiz in the kitchen and this was a pretty big meal to cook. Not exactly hard, but timing seemed to be key. Timing was something you gained with cooking experience.
I knew that Ed didn't get up extremely early on the weekends. I was fairly certain he had set an alarm to wake himself up to send that good morning text. Most likely falling asleep right after he sent it. So I didn't start cooking until around nine. Sure enough around nine thirty I heard my phone chime, his message coming through. I quickly dial his number, holding it in place with my shoulder as I worked on the potatoes and veggies. His sleepy accented voice soon greeted my ear, causing a smile to break across my face.
"Is everreythin 'right?" He asked groggily. I could see the sleepy eyes blinking, burying his knuckle in them as he yawned. Hair tousled, his tongue running over his strawberry lips.
"Everything is great." So far the breakfast had been fairly easy. I wasn't sure what I was too worried about. I stuck my fork in the potato, determining that they were done enough to start mashing them. "Why don't you put some shoes on and come over? I've got a something for you that I think you'll like."
I poured the potatoes in a strainer, giving them a few good shakes. I was proud of myself for not slicing a finger or palm open as I was peeling them. Mom had made taught me how to peel them but after I cut the same finger open three times, she mostly dealt with that part of dinner prep.
"Oh? What do you have up that fine sleeve of yours?" I noticed that some of the grogginess had dissipated.
"Well get over here and you'll find out won't you?" A whiny sigh came through.
"Do I have to put pants on?" He reminded me of kid. But I don't want to put pants on.
This boy and his war on pants. Usually the first thing to come off when he came through the door according to him.
"Like, proper pants or pants in general?" I wouldn't put it past him to show up in a t shirt and his boxer briefs. His fuzzy legs on full display for everyone to see. The way they'd cling to those beautiful thighs leaving nothing to the imagination…
"Proper pants. Do I have to wear jeans or can I just come as is?"
"You can come as is."
"I could be lying here completely naked for all you know." I could hear the smile in his voice as it sounded like he rolled over, probably reaching for his watch on his stand.
The image flashed in my minds eye of him lying in bed with nothing on but the duvet that, let's face it, wasn't covering anything at all. His colorful torso standing out in stark contrast with the crisp white linens. His legs sprawled out, his back arching slightly as he stretched. I felt my hand slip off the masher, colliding with the side of the bowl.
"Well, then by all means...definitely come as you are."
I heard him chuckle. "Aren't you being a cheeky lass. Alright. Let me hop in the shower and i'll be over. I'll text you when I leave."
An image of him in the shower now graced my mind. The hot water beating down on him, steam all around him. The water running in little rivulets down his body. Water droplets being sent flying as he pushed his hair back off his forehead as he began to work the shampoo into a lather. The suds now inching their way down his body in a steady crawl. Apparently I hadn't learned my lesson the first time. Cooking is not the time to be having steamy fantasies. Thank god I wasn't using a knife or he may very well have ended up with blood sausage.
I had turned on my playlist and was soon dancing my way through the kitchen. I had secretly been going through and listening to his music. Before I had only heard a couple of his songs. I actually had Don't set as a guy's ringtone in my phone. A reminder that words meant shit, he's shit and don't fucking answer the phone. I had heard Ed sing silly little songs around my flat that never failed to make me laugh. It seemed a bit awkward to listen to them with him around though.
Needless to say I was blown away.
As I bopped around my kitchen, my confidence growing as each item was done. I was slaying this. Master Chef, here I come. I had been watching the bacon carefully, making sure it didn't get too done. It was supposed to be soft, not as I had read, hard enough to be used for roof shingles. When they had became bacon that Goldilocks would have have ate right up I began to fish them out of the skillet. Quite clumsily I might add, splashing the grease everywhere, including my arm. Being the stubborn shit that I am, I kept right on pulling them out, not letting no damn hot bacon juice dictate how my breakfast turned out. I set the skillet back on the stove, digging through my fridge for my eggs. That and the fried slice were the last things left I had to cook. As I shuffled things around trying to reach my eggs I hear the smoke alarm begin to beep shrillily. I popped my head out of the fridge, eggs clutched in my hands to see the grease had started smoking and it was quickly filling my apartment.
Swearing once again, vowing to never cook another damn meal, I dropped the eggs on the counter and moved the skillet of the burner before looking up at the smoke detector in defeat. There's no way I can reach that. I drug one of the bar stools underneath it, climbing on top of it and still coming up short.
Never. Cooking. Again.
Just when I was about to start jumping I heard my door open and turned to see Ed walking through the door. With absolutely no hesitation or question he rushed over, grabbing me by my waist and pulling me off the chair and set me gently on the ground. He climbed up in my steady and hitting the small off switch. I quickly prop open the door to the fire escape, letting the smoke find its way out. I turned back to Ed with a sheepish look on my face.
"Erm...surprise."
"Is trying to burn your apartment down the surprise, because I was promised something I'd like and I gotta say, I don't like that one bit." Humor gleaming behind his eyes as a smile came across his face.
"No. I cooked us breakfast." I pointed to the bar, where most of the meal sat. He turned around to look at what I had prepared. In the commotion he hadn't taken a moment to look around. His eyes went straight to me and never left.
"Are you shitting me?!" He turn back to me, "You cooked a fry up?!" His face was beaming before he rushed over to me, giving me a giant hug that knocked the breath out of me. "Adi a fry up! You did all this for me?!"
"I remembered when you told Levi and me that you missed home and that you hadn't a proper one in a while so I thought I'd try and bring a bit of home to you...and catch it on fire because I don't cook..."
"Adi. I can't believe you went through the trouble of doing this." I could hear the emotion in his voice.
"I've still got the eggs and fried slice left to do so if you want to sit down, I can finish up."
I don't know why I expected him to sit idly by as I cooked. We stood side by side as I cooked. He'd hand me what I needed so I could focus on the food. When he saw the burn, he tsked lightly, his lips pressing against it. It was such a simple act, yet such a caring one. Once everything was done we sat at the bar, since I hadn't bought myself a kitchen table. It seemed pointless since it was just me. I watched him as he took his first bite, holding my breath in anticipation. His eyes fell closed and a smile slowly followed. They remained closed as he chewed.
"You say you don't cook?" He glanced my way, "You could have fooled me, this is excellent. You even took the time to pick veggies you knew I liked and left out the ones I didn't. You put a lot of thought into this. I'm impressed and touched. " He took a sip of his tea before he continued eating. "You actually found Heinz baked beans?! Jesus Christ you went all out! If my mouth didn't taste of beans, I'd kiss you right now...fuck it." He quickly swallowed and gave me a kiss. The tangy tomato sauce was still lingering on his lips. Not that I particularly cared. I was eating the same meal he was after all.
Once the meal was done he insisted on doing the dishes, saying I had did more than enough and I needed to relax. I felt a little bad sitting at the bar drinking my tea as he cleaned the kitchen. His hands plunging in and out of the soapy water, watching him dip the plates in the water. Wincing slightly as he took them directly from the soapy water to the drying rack without rinsing them off. He just shook them off and put them aside to dry. Correcting him seemed a bit ungrateful. Once he was done we spent the rest of the afternoon on the couch binge watch the Fresh Prince. Once sleep started to sink its hooks in us, he decided it was time to head home.
"Thanks for giving me a taste of home. You were right, I did like it. Quite a lot actually."
"I'm just glad it was just editable. You can take the leftovers home with you. I made enough for you to have another decent breakfast. Just, don't sit on it too long, okay? I don't want to make you sick."
"You're the best, you know that?" He smiled as I handed him the bag of tupperware full of food. "This'll be a life saver when I'm not feeling up to cooking anything."
"Does that happen a lot?" I realise that that came out a little rude but he didn't seem to mind.
"No, I actually like to cook. I also like the instant gratification of ordering food and getting it quickly. So it just comes down to how hungry I am."
"I can't wait to taste your food then."
He smiled "You like fajitas? I make a wicked fajita."
"Like is putting it mildly."
"Well then, you're in for a treat. I'll make them for you soon."
"I can't wait. Hopefully you're better in the kitchen than I am."
He snorted. "I haven't the foggiest what you're talking about, this was fantastic. But no I won't set the kitchen on fire." He gave me a kiss before adding, "Though, tell me the next time you cook so I can be around to hit the button for you, short stuff."
"Oh, fuck off kindly please." playfully shoving his shoulder.
He gave me another kiss, accompanied by a wink before he left. Later on he sent me a picture through Skype that said "I tried this thing called cooking" over the meme of the little girl standing in front of a burning house. He captioned it "I had to love xx."
I shook my head as I laughed, shooting back a quick message that read "See if you get breakfast again haha"
"What are you talking about, I'll have breakfast tomorrow. It's a daily thing yknow."
"Ugh, Just go to bed."
"Hope you don't need any warm milk to help you go to sleep. You'll be stuck there with no one to push the button. "
"Good. Night. Ed."
"Good Night sweet girl"
A/N
This story is by no means based of true events. No, not at all. This totally isn't what happened when I cooked a fry up.
Fun fact- My gramma would cook this exact meal on Saturday mornings so I guess I grew up slightly British.
Another "fun" fact- The meal Ed was eating in Chapter 6 was what he had left of the breakfast. You're welcome.
#ed sheeran#teddy sheeran#code ginger#ed sheeran one shot#one shot#Brits are serious about their beans
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