#But the rest is all bitterness and hatred and I think that definitely connects with Jane

[naruthandir]

I think the reason I like Melkor so much is because out of all the characters in Tolkien's world it's of the ones I connect to the most, that I have the most sympathy for.

(long post under the cut. nothing triggering I don't think, just a lot of words and pseudo-phylosophic rambling about order and chaos and nature and such)

From the beginning, I saw something of myself on the way he rebelled against Eru, who is pretty much a parental to him. He was not malicious in his attempts to create a melody of his own, and yet Ilúvatar ruthlessly shut him down, which in turn made Melkor bitter and contrarian. This was something I struggled with a lot growing up as an autistic child with ADHD: impulsiveness, clumsyness and lack of social awareness were severely punished, for reasons that were never explained to me. There was much talk about the importance of "respect", but I when I asked for a definition of that word no one was able to give it to me. I ended up believing that "respect" was synonymous with "compliance", and I grew to resent pretty much all authority figures around me as a result.

To me, Melkor represents the resentment one develops after trying the very best to be good and yet failing, time and time again, until you just lean into your role as a villain. "If evil the only thing I'm good at then why even try to be good? If everything I do is wrong why try to make things right?" And then you become a ball of pure hatred, towards the world and towards yourself, towards those who hurt you and those who love you.

Like. I just feel like Melkor is terribly unhappy. There is not one bit on joy in his life, the closest he gets is that rush of superiority you get from winning a fight, from bullying and tearing things apart and just the general gratification of being an asshole. But that isn't happiness. That's an unhealthy coping mechanism that leaves you feeling miserable every time.

Melkor is evil. I am not implying that he is not. But he is evil in that way Tolkien villains are so often evil: in a pathetic, genuinely pitiful way. And for me, also in an oddly relatable way. The actions of Melkor are by no way justified, they wouldn't be justified if he had the saddest backstory ever. That's not how it works. But I do think they were necessary, in a very strange way. Allow me to explain myself:

Nothing is perfect. We know this, that is just the way of things. Trying to change that, while understandable and oftentimes done with noble intent, is another sort of evil entirely (see: Mairon). And I think Melkor is just as much a part of the natural world as the rest of the Valar are. Eru created Melkor, after all, out of his own though, and it is said none of the Ainur can truly escape or contradict his will. That's entropy, baby: the universal constant that will kill the stars and that allows life all at the same time.

(note: entropy is often defined as a "tendency towards chaos", however this is a gross simplification of what it actually is. You could just as easily call it a "tendency towards equilibrium" and it'd be just as accurate, if not more. Truth is, this is a very complex concept physicist are still working to understand. And I am not a physicist. So don't ask any more questions.)

What I mean to say is that decay is a part of nature, and that seems to be a very relevant theme in Tolkien. And if a perfect God contains all possible attributes (we talked about this in phylosophy class) they must contain in their perfection evil and well. Flaws. And if the Ainur are just manifestations of different, often contradicting attributes of Eru, that means Melkor must be too.

I don't know exactly where I am going with this. Perhaps is just that I am a little annoyed, that people would call Morgoth (Or Sauron, for that matter) "plain villains", because thematically speaking they are very interesting, at least to me. I acknowledge there's a good bit of projection going on here, but really that's the only way I know of engaging with fiction and if Tolkien's words are worth anything, I do find this interpretation "applicable".

#sauron #melkor #tolkien #lotr #the silmarillion #silmarillion #uhhhh tags #???? #Am I making sense #I'm tired #morgoth #the lord of of the rings #lord of the rings #as an atheist I felt personally attacked during the ainulindale #this is me talking about that brbrbrbrbrbrbrb #(and also other stuff)

[deada55]

i do wish I had thought through my oldklok/death hcs a little sooner but it be like that sometimes... assuming the world continues long enough for them to be old AND assuming they're still mortal... or their physical form is mortal.

So either Nathan or Toki have to die first for plot's sake, Nathan in middle age or slightly later, Toki could die "young" if you want extra angst. Presumably, although it would be incredibly sad for all involved, and this is also dependent on the manner of Toki's death, they could continue to tour with Skwisgaar taping a rhythm part beforehand or using a pedal. Without Nathan it's absolutely the end, and you bet whatever's left of the world will either cheer or literally fall into war. It's a fun expectation inversion, like the deaths of the Golden Girls, since Pickles is the oldest. If Nathan doesn't die first, he holds out for a good long while: Toki's a little. Variable.

Nathan dying of multiple organ failure/a cardiovascular event is a little on the nose, but I like things that have a precedent. It's nice when an eclectic life has components that match. One thing's for sure: we're dying married, we're leaving kids. Are the kids going to survive, or will they squander everything? Will they be left with anything? Who knows. Either way he meant well, and died somewhat suddenly, but he's never been consistently super-healthy. Of course, he survived his parents, and he set them up with very loving tributes and a memorial when they passed. Only child life ftw.

The weirdo is Skwisgaar, but I like to think that he will shed his corporeal form within a human lifespan. I'm not sure he's smart enough to find an alternative and just ascend or something. Either he'll get struck by divine lightning and vaporize like a baller or he'll get arthritis and get real, real bitter about it. Eventually he'll get senile, and his death won't be a sudden or unexpected thing (if he doesn't get electro-zapped to "valhalska".)

Poor, poor Murderface. I'd like it if he got the opportunity to get older, especially so he could grow and maybe go to therapy and have a chance to live without crippling self-hatred. Solo album? Sure! Planet Piss? Probably not as successful, but it's an earlier side project. Hopefully he can make some nice friends to inherit his estate or connect to a cause. I think he deserves to live and die as a fondly remembered benefactor and artist, with a lovely long-time (at least ~5 years) partner and a nice memorial already settled and paid for.

Toki... won't age gracefully, especially not if he's not physically living with a bandmate or a partner. If the rest of Dethklok ride out their age living more separate lives, Toki will need to find a niche to find safety and fulfillment. If he doesn't... it's not going to be fun. I can imagine him as an old(er) celebrity that you can very easily get on board a project, but he's either super cooperative or awful to work with, and his tune can change pretty fast. He's the one the band exposee documentary centers around, or he'll get his own exposee docuseries whether or not he's dead. He's also an author, so a memoir is in order, and it'll sell well. It's a good move if he got into financial trouble. The rest of the band will be really torn up however he dies, especially if he dies in physical or mental pain. His estate will definitely go to cats in some way, shape, or form.

Oh, Pickles... hard-of-hearing, smells weird, still Very, Very Cool to talk to. If you ask for him he'll show up. If he's invited and he can, he'll try. Even when he needs a nurse to come with him to make sure his power chair stays charged and his oxygen tanks are full and the piss bag is empty, he'll come do your stupid podcast or cameo in a movie. He's down-to-earth and he'll show up, especially for the family events for Seth and his many many progeny, if not Pickles' own. Hopefully him and Seth can settle into a cold distant rage and stop physically fighting. He'll die slowly, but he'll get good media coverage like the rest. Lots of collective "aw :(" all over the world and maybe a commemorative beanie baby or smth. He'll be very loved and very missed by the public, especially since he'll die with a recent public presence.

#this is absolutely me talking out of my ass #it's all opinion #what do you think they'd be like when they're old(er) and crusty(ier)? #mtl hcs #metalocalypse #toki wartooth #pickles the drummer #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #nathan explosion

[arcadejohn127-9]

Could you do the Brothers and undatables reacting to MC being poisoned and finding out that Micheal was trying to kill them because he was jealous that MC was close with the brothers. Let me just say your work is great the way you describe the situation before going into the reactions is really interesting. Thank you so much!!!!

I already had this ask half way done but Tumblr decided to delete all my work due to buggy WiFi - I'm currently in pain 😭

I don't know much about poison so bare with me, I just looked at the basic symptoms and went "I'm smart" I've passed out after being ill or just in general quite a few times when younger so I had faith

This also has a bonus Michael part! I've decided to add his response to the boys reactions in its own format or else each one will just have a repeat of the same Michael Response

Warning: angst, implied vomitting, attempted murder, fainting, spoilers of lesson 37 and 16, gore on Michaels part, long

"from Michael...?" You questioned outloud, unsure on how to feel about the parcel you've found.

Your relationship with the angel wasn't a defined one. You didn't hate him but you didn't like him either; there was always something about his presence that made you fearful. You choked it up to be just internalised fear due to hearing the brothers experience of the celestial realm and angels.

You've never met him in person; the first conversation you had of him was when you stabbed yourself with the dagger instead of Lucifer. You saw the light and he spoke to you, surprised and shocked at the love you had for the demons. Even then you never really got to speak to him again, he was a mystery. You've sent a few letters and he's returned some and Simeon is a link between you two. But other than that? You didn't really have a relationship with him.

So why? Why would he send you a gift?

You looked inside to see a packet of apple pieces and herbs inside of a snack shaped teabag. You admired the unique shape and couldn't stop a small smile appearing. It was definitely cute! And you finally got to use the new kettle and cups barbatos got you.

You decided to text Simeon, telling him to thank Michael for your gift. He was surprised by this but agreed, happy you two were connecting.

Whilst your new tea brewed you were trying to figure out a way to repay his kindness. Sure it was simple small gift but he was reaching out - you were giddy! Hopeful this meant he was fully on board to the exchange program.

But you soon would regret drinking that tea. It was so sweet you couldn't stop drinking it; your lips only leaving the cup of a second of breath. It was addicting. The herb covered apples pieces gave it a nice slight bitterness. But it wasn't overbearing but didn't make it taste like sugar in your mouth.

As soon as the last gulp came down; something came up. You hunched over as your stomach churned, a disgusting taste forcing itself up your throat. Your vision growing blurry as you stumbled out of your seat, the light in your room feeling like knives to your eyes. You tried closing them but the effect didn't change. You were barely hunched over on your side releasing everything in your stomach. It stung your throat, your stomach feeling painfully empty.

There was this invisible feeling telling you to go to sleep. You wanted to obey but the light felt too painful. In your dazed state you shakily texted the groupchat a sloppy "help me ASAP, my room" before letting your body go limp, heaving as you just laid there, dragging a nearby jacket over your head and let your vision be consumed by the darkness.

Lucifer:

He's heart broken

How did this happen? You were fine and now you're not moving

Your breathing was faint against his neck as he held you

He saw the parcel and connected the dots, Eden's tea

It was a death sentence for any human, a treat for demons and a punishment for angels

He's started a war once, he can do it again

Whilst he knew he couldn't enter the celestial realm he demanded that Michael show himself

When his demands went unanswered, he was ready to break all rules

"He's gone too far, I don't care for his reasons! I WILL DESTORY THE CELESTIAL REALM IF I HAVE TO! HE WILL ANSWER ME!"

when you received a cure all his angers washed away with relief

Happy to have you awake again even if it was for a few moments

Mammon:

FLASHBACK ARE STRONG

All he can think about his how you looked like in the past; dying in his arms

He immediately went to blame belphie but almost tripped over the parcel

He's an idioit but he knew what this tea was

Becomes feral with rage and overly protective of your unconscious body

He's hunched over by your side at all times just growling at anyone who comes near you

He wanted to hurt Michael but he wanted to stay with you

He'd talk to you and tell you how he was going to get payback

"I should of known he'd do something-! I'll never forgive him- DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!! I'M DOING THIS FOR THEM!"

As soon as you get the cure he's hugging you and telling you how much he missed you

Levithan:

When he found you, his heart dropped

It only got worse when he found the parcel and realized what Michael has done

he will remind the celestial realm why he is an admiral of hell's navy

He spends time by the sea communicating with any creature he can get; telling them if things go down he'll need them to flood the gates of heaven

When he isn't planning war he's with you, playing games, trying to ignore how dead you looked

He would remind you what buttons to push when your chatacter didn't move

"YOU THINK I'LL JUST LET THIS SLIDE??!! HE'S KILLED MY BEST FRIEND!"

He broke down sobbing when you woke up after getting a cure

He was convinced you were dead but here you were, alive and awake

Satan:

He's a detective nerd so of course he scoped out the scene

When he found the parcel and Michaels name - oh boy

Never met the man and pities him for letting their first meeting be the angels demise

It wasn't long before he had to be detained

Screaming and tearing up anything he could, yelling at his brother's for falling

He blamed his brothers, he blamed Michael and he blamed himself

Hated being locked away from you, would course more of a fuss when he couldn't see you

"I WILL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU IF YOU DON'T LET ME GET TO THAT DAMN ANGEL!! I HATE YOU!"

He's only calmed down when you are given a cure and he's told you're alive

Is finally allowed to see you and he holds you tight

Asmodeus:

When he found you he was sobbing

It only grew worse when he found out what happened

In Denial

Not of Michael, he believed that but in denial you were dead or were dying

Kept insisting you were just tired and sleeping

Destroyed an entire room when one of them insisted you weren't sleeping

He'd help you get ready and pamper you, telling you it's okay and you can thank him when you feel better

Would be seen wiping your face often in hopes it'll get rid of that death like appearance you have

"They're fine but Michael won't be, when my precious darling wakes up I'll make sure they know I'll make everything better."

When you bad your cure he started crying and laughing, telling everyone he was right

Clinged to you and let you sleep

Beezlebub:

He found the parcel almost immediately

And went into a rage - we all know how his hunger tantrums are

Would've destroyed the whole house if he wasn't restrained

Guilt

So much guilt, his shoulders are always sagging

Sits by your unconscious body so he feels like he's protecting you

Has tried kissing you awake

Hoping you'll wake up like a fairy tale Character and everything will be fine

"I'm going to kill Michael and I won't let any of you stop me....protect (Y/N) For me."

Was so happy and relieved when you got the cure, sticking to your side at all times even when you were awake

Belphegor:

He was quick to help you into bed and on your side

When he found the parcel he was ready to murder

His rage towards Michael massively outweighed his hatred for humanity - even Lucifer!

Beel couldn't keep control of him mostnofnthe time unless he got forceful, belphegor stuck in a headlock screeching bloody murder

Stress sleeping

Like many of the brothers he develops two modes: calm or PLANNING MASS MURDER

Whenever he gets overwhelmed he just forces body to shut down and sleep besides you

"Michael will face me again, I won't let him kill anyone else that I love! He got Lilith killed and he can't do the same for (Y/N)!"

As soon as the cure was found he was by your side

Letting you rest and watched over you

UNDATEABLES↓

Diavolo:

Found out through the brothers

Sees this as an act of war against the peace he's working for

He was normally sweet and forgiving but it seemed Michael wanted to rip to his last nerve

Demanded for every reliable demon to search for a cure

Even had Solomon try to make one

"Barbatos, what is the possibility of Michael coming down to the devildom or the human realm? I want 'discuss' with him what his actions have caused."

As soon he he found out you were alive and safe

He didn't stop his plans but let himself have time with you

Barbatos:

So much guilt

Like holy shit

Is just constantly questioning how he didn't prevent this

Asked permission from the lord to just change the timelines so this didn't happen but the brothers were against it

They demanded they didn't avoid this situation and let Michael face punishment

That he couldn't refuse, he was angered by the angel's actions

More than he would ever show

"humans are so fragile and their time is so limited - that's why I'm never going to let anyone cut theirs short again."

Was part of the cure search party, he led the group

Once you were cured he stayed with you

Acting as your butler and made to check each of your foods and drinks

Solomon:

It wasn't a wise decision to piss off a wizard with stupid amount of pacts

To think an angel would do such a thing

But whilst Everyone lost their temper and searched for a cure

He was wondering - why did it happen

He was ordered asked to make you a cure

He was able to do it but the real cure was also found - giving you extra cure wasn't going to harm you

But he did plan to harm Michael

"you'd think he was smarter than this, he didn't even hide he was the one who did it but all it does is make my job easier."

nursed you until you woke up

Making sure you had mini cures to completely magic it out of your system

Simeon:

When he found out he was stunned

Betrayal - that's all he felt

How could Michael do such a thing?

But he knew Michael was a cruel angel, many having to drink Eden's tea as punishment

It burned their insides and had any poor soul sobbing for mercy after a gulp

"Michael you fool, you can get away with things in your league but you've involved the three realms into this....I pray you do not make your demise harder for yourself."

Was apart of the cure search party

Soothed you when you finally woke up, telling you it'll be okay

Let you rest as much as you wanted

Luke:

They tried to hide it from him but he kept demanding to see you

He wanted to know why everyone was acting strange

When he finally found out he was broken

His mentor

His idol

His everything

The person who always went for permission and knowledge

He thought so highly of him but he's hurt you

He's done more than that! He's tried to kill you!

He's been sobbing for days and locked himself away, he couldn't bare to see you after his once visit

He believed you were dead and they were just keeping your body

"Michael....why....why would you do this.... I thought you loved your brother's....I thought you were kind..!"

When he found out there was a cure he begged to help but they wouldn't let him

He only got to see you when you woke up and he was hugging you, crying

+ bonus Character↓

Michael:

The angel knew they'd be upset

But 9 demons wanting his blood? One wizard ready to cause mayhem and even his own kind wanting his downfall?

That he didn't expect

In his blind jealousy he didn't expect they'd all care for you this much

Thinking apart of them would be relieved you weren't there

But no

"You were my brother's before you were their partner, I'm simply doing what is right! It was their time to meet him and finally stop controlling all of you! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LOVE ME! I'M YOUR FAMILY! WHY ARE THEY MORE IMPORTANT?!"

He got his answer

His wings torn to shreds, chunks of flesh bitten off him and slashes all over his body

He was left in human world bleeding and barely recognisable

They didn't hold back

He dread to think what the rest of them would do when they find him

#obey me #obey me shall we date #gamingclubpresident #aracadejohn217 9 #obey me mammon #obey me mc #obey me asmodeus #obey me satan #obey me beezlebub #obey me belphegor #obey me barbatos #obey me leviathan #obey me luficer #obey me luke #obey me diavolo #obey me imagine #obey me Michael #obey me headcanon #angst #tw: ptsd #cw: angst #tw: attempted murder

[thecountessofkilmartin]

Hi, eloping anon again! Thanks for your answer! I definitely came to the right place lol If you don't mind I'm asking another question... What are your thoughts about the cut/deleted sex scenes? First, it was JB talking and now the intimacy coordinator saying that they filmed "loads" of sex scenes that were cut. And CVD added even more fuel to the fire talking about the wedding and the scenes that they planned to do and changed their minds. Do you think we ever gonna get those deleted scenes?

Hi! You're so welcome. And thank you for the asks, I love answering them :)

Honestly, all of this talk about everything we were robbed of makes me fume with rage. Kathony is one of my top 3 ships in the bridgerton universe and I expected them to be treated with care and respect cause this ship has a huge fanbase. And that includes being thoughtful about their intimate scenes as well. I do like that they didn't even kiss until the conflict with Edwina was done since it would have felt wrong on many levels for them to kiss while Anthony was betrothed to her. But I did expect more emphasis on their intimate scenes afterwards, not because I wanted to see more erotic scenes but purely because touch is literally their love language in my opinion.

The scene where they have sex for the first time in the book is literally so beautiful, because in the midst being physically intimate, the two of them end up sharing their insecurities and connecting on such a deep emotional level. By that point, they were clearly in love but the other was totally unaware of it. Anthony made sure that Kate understood how valuable she is to him and that moment was so impactful to the story. That scene had a purpose and drove the story forward. Even though their sex scene in episode seven served it's purpose, I would have been very happy if we got just one quiet scene that truly showcased their emotional connection instead. I'm talking a beautifully lit, slow paced scene that felt truly private. But including any of that wasn't a possibility in the show because the writers ended up rewriting their story and dragging it in a different direction.

I was under the impression that the lack of sex scenes was on account of the filming issues that arose due to covid, and hearing about how those scenes were filmed only to be cut makes me wonder about the overall vision they had for kathony this season. The easy answer is that they gave away their screen time to make room for the subplots, which would be fine if the very little time they did have wasn't focused on Edwina. And the bitter truth is that they weren't able to fully capture the essence of kathony both as individuals and a couple, and failed to create a well paced story for them and probably ended up not having anywhere to fit those scenes they filmed because they moved their story around to accommodate the storylines of the side characters when it should've been the other way around. I also question why they decided to create this love triangle when the idea of one is so far from the feeling you get when you read tvwlm. If they are so fond of love triangles, focusing on one in Gregory's story would have felt less forced. (Not that I want to see grecy caught in one since I truly detest love triangles.) I can't help but think that the writers and CVD have an underlying hatred towards kathony since they were so so mistreated. I have theories about the reasons, but I won't get into that.

I hope that those scenes end up seeing the light of day because all of us would love to see them. But I won't hold my breath over it. I know that we can't help but have expectations when watching a show, especially one based on a beloved book series but I'm definitely gonna try to not have any expectations from this show. Now that CVD is no longer the show runner of the show, one can only hope that the rest of the couples will be treated better than kathony was.

#kathony #bridgerton #asks

[true-blue-megamind]

FAN THEORY THURSDAY: Megamind’s Connections Beyond the Film

Before we get started, it’s time for the obligatory SPOILER WARNING!  

In case this hasn’t been made sufficiently obvious by the fact that this is a post about Megamind written in a fan theory series about Megamind and published on a blog dedicated solely to Megamind, please let me just assure that this article is, in fact, about Megamind.  

If you haven’t seen the film yet yet, I have to question why you’re reading this in the first place.  As well as your taste in animated movies.  I’m definitely questioning that.

Over the years I’ve heard several fan theories concerning connections between the film Megamind and various other forms of media.  Today, let’s delve into just a few.

The first one is so obvious it’s almost painful, but it has to be mentioned.  Megamind is a Superman spoof.  Metro Man is clearly based on the Man of Steel himself, with a hefty dose of Elvis Presley and a larger range of character flaws thrown in for good measure.  (He also seems to contain quite a lot of the Popular Jock archetype.)  The character of Megamind is more complex still, combining elements of Alice Cooper and a nineties Goth theater kid with several comic book supervillains. The best known of the last include alien genius Brainiac and mad inventor Lexx Luthor, but they aren’t the only ones.  Some of Megamind’s engineering and technological inventions call to mind Spiderman villain Doctor Octopus even more than Lexx Luthor, and he also shares some parallels with the mad inventor Dr. Sivana in the SHAZAM comics.

Megamind’s most notable of the latter is the similarity of attitudes toward society.  Both Megamind and Dr. Sivana started off trying to use their inventions for good—the first in the classroom and the second for the betterment of mankind—but both became bitter when people mocked and shunned them.  For Dr. Sivana, this led to a desire to conquer all of Earth while for Megamind, in a sort of microcosm, it led to a similar drive to take over Metro City.  Both Lexx Luthor and Dr. Sivana have, perhaps, the strongest connections to Megamind as share, deep down, a desire to help or protect mankind, and as Lexx Luthor, like Megamind, harbors a secret love for the reporter damsel in their respective stories.  (This desire to do good, especially in the face of corrupt officials, ties into another Megamind fan theory that I will likely discuss in more detail in a later post.)

The connection between Megamind and Alice Cooper, by the way, was extremely intentional.  The creators stated in an interview that, like Alice Cooper, Megamind’s dark, evil self is, in fact, a stage persona.  (Even their clothing, consisting largely of black leather and spikes, is similar.)  That fact is illustrated in the film as we can see that Megamind’s behaviors on- and off-camera tend to be vastly different.  Even as a villain, he is merely playing a role, although in the case of Megamind that role has begun to merge with his self-identity.

There are, however, hints within the world of DreamWorks that Megamind has other connections as well.  The first is fairly recent and intensely interesting. In the Rise of the Guardians, Jamie Bennett, a young boy who still steadfastly believes in the seemingly impossible, mentions “aliens in Michigan,” only to be scoffed at by his friends.  Because Metro City is located in Michigan, (as can be seen briefly when the Death Ray is fired from space,) many fans theorize that the “aliens in Michigan” are none other than Megamind, Minion, and, perhaps, Metro Man. 

This would indicate that the two stories take place in the same world, and that Megamind’s adventures, while well-known in Metro City itself, have been covered up and kept secret from the rest of the world.  (Imagine moving to a moderately-sized city only to discover that—surprise!—there’s an extraterrestrial supervillain in residence and, oh, by the way, if you live downtown homeowners’ insurance is ridiculous!)

The second inter-film connection is less clear, but has spawned some interesting fan theories as well.  The idea is that, like Rise of the Guardians, Monsters VS. Aliens also takes place in the same reality as Megamind.  It’s not too far fetched—after all, both films involve extraterrestrials and amazing inventions—but there is one specific theory that really ties the two together.  Consider this for a moment: Megamind is a blue alien with incredible intelligence who hails from a destroyed planet.  Does that sound like any other DreamWorks character you know?  If you’ve seen Monster VS. Aliens, the antagonist, Gallaxhar, probably springs to mind.

According to Fandom.com, Gallaxhar’s official backstory is that he “destroyed his home planet” for the implied reason that “he experienced bad childhood and unhappy marriage.”  The fan theory is that that Gallaxhar’s planet was, in fact, Megamind’s home world, and that the former created or harnessed the black hole which destroyed it.  This would explain why Megamind’s people—as well as Metro Man’s—didn’t have time to escape despite being space-faring.  You see, black holes take millions of years to develop, and even a rogue black hole would take about a million to shift and swallow an entire solar system, so if the event had occurred naturally, there should have been plenty of time to build an entire fleet of spacecraft and leave for Earth or another safe planet.  (The fact that Megamind’s parents set his escape pod’s navigation system for Earth indicates that they knew of its existence.)

Of course, despite their large heads and blue skin tones, there are quite a few physical differences between Megamind and Gallaxhar.  The first is humanoid while the second has four eyes and tentacles instead of legs.  Fan theories have explanations for that, too, however.  

There appear to be two schools of thought on the subject.  The first is that Gallaxhar was another breed of alien living on the planet, possibly a servile race different from Minions, and the second is that part of Gallaxhar’s “bad childhood” involved being experimented upon, thus giving him his bizarre appearance and his seeming obsession with experimenting on others.  (There is some disagreement in the Megamind fandom about exactly why Gallaxhar was subjected to such treatment, ranging from falling into the hands of an unscrupulous scientist to being part of an experimental medical program.  The latter fan theory suggests that Gallaxhar was both blind and paraplegic, and that his additional eyes and tentacle “legs” were meant to rectify that, but that those physical differences made him an outsider, thus leading to his unhappy life and ultimate hatred for his own planet.)

If that were true, many may wonder what, exactly, Megamind might do if he ever found out about Gallaxhar.  Well, good news!  Just like there’s an app for everything, there’s a fan theory for that, too!  I will warn you, however, that this one is, frankly, build upon pretty thin evidence.  However, it’s interesting enough to be worth relating.

There is a character in Monsters VS. Aliens named General Warren R. Monger who, on the surface, is exactly what he appears to be: a high-ranking military man.  However, there are a few things that fans point to as possible evidence that Monger isn’t what he seems.  

The first is so simple that, alone, it would be inconsequential.  Monger rose through the ranks uncommonly fast, so much so that it caused some comment among others.  The second is significantly odder; Monger claims to be ninety years old despite looking like he is in his late forties.  Now, of course, this may have simply been the character exaggerating or messing with the “monsters” under his care, but some fans say it’s more than that, and claim that Monger chose that age because he was unfamiliar with human lifespans.  Next there is the fact that Monger is so intelligent that, despite one of the beings in his containment facility. Doctor Cockroach, being a super-genius, Monger outwits every escape attempt the monsters can make.  Then, of course, there is the fact that, despite his brusque manner, Monger seems to actually sympathize with the inhuman people he is charged with containing, and even pushes for them to be given a chance to prove themselves.  There is the oddity that, although he is assigned to the secret military base at “Area Fifty-Something,” Monger seems to disappear a lot, often for days at a time.  Finally, there are a few key physical and technological attributes: Monger has some odd and incredibly energetic facial expression—including a nearly maniacal smile and a dark scowl—as well as a jet pack that he appears to have constructed himself and green eyes.

I’m still not certain I see the resemblance, but maybe there are some similarities?  What do you think?

If you’re familiar with Metro City’s resident blue alien, you can probably see where this is going.  Although it’s not a popular theory, I’ve heard it suggested in the Megamind fandom that Monger is, in fact, Megamind disguised using his holowatch.  (This is why the green eyes are significant; Megamind’s eye color is the only aspect of his appearance that the holowatch doesn’t change.  However, I feel compelled to note that the shade of green appears to be different.) Fans insist that it would have been easy for someone as incredibly brilliant as Megamind to hack government systems and forge documents such as birth certificates thoroughly enough to dupe even U.S. Military Intelligence. The two jet packs, some have contested, look different either because of the disguise or because the one featured in Monster VS. Aliens is an older model. I’ve even seen the fact that both Megamind and Monger begin with M being pointed to as possible evidence that the latter is no more than an invention of the former.

The argument is as follows: as Monsters VS. Aliens takes place in 2009, one year before events in Megamind, it’s possible that Megamind, still being a villain, created an alter-ego which he could use to help him search for and deal with other alien life.  (He is shown to be painfully lonely, and the Megamind comics reveal his desperate desire to find other survivors from his home planet.)  Upon figuring out who Gallaxhar was, and more importantly what he had done, Megamind wanted to be part of taking him down.  But he couldn’t be too open about it; he was, after all, still a “Bad Guy.”  This theory explains Monger’s frequent long absences—during those time Megamind was back in Metro City taking care of his regular business— as well as why Monger had a secret soft spot for the “monsters.”  Megamind, having always been treated like a monster himself, would naturally want to give them a chance, but wouldn’t dare behave in too overtly friendly a manner as it would have aroused suspicion.

As I said, support for that particular theory is, perhaps, a little thin, especially given the fact the Monsters VS. Aliens preceded Megamind, so character designs from the former are unlikely to have been influenced by the latter.  Nonetheless, I admit to appreciating the complexity and creativity of it.  It’s an undeniably fun theory. If they haven’t already, maybe someone will write a fan fiction about it one day.

Those are only a few of the theories out there connecting Megamind with other fandoms.  One could go on and on about the subject, but I won’t torture readers by doing that.  Nonetheless, it illustrates once again the immense love and original thought that Megamind fans put into developing their theories!  I dare say that few other animated movies have earned a following so dedicated and inventive…  But, then, any of us who love the film Megamind will tell you that it has more than earned the consideration!

#Megamind #Megamind fan theory #Megamind movie #Megamind fan theories #comic books #comic book #superheroes #supervillain #DreamWorks #DWA #Monsters vs Aliens #Rise of the Guardians #Rise Guardians #Monsters #Aliens

[mi6-cafe]

WEEK 3 DRABBLES ARE HERE!

Now, let’s refresh your memory about the prompt

We have asked our writers to write between 100 and 150 words of an acrostic drabble for NO TIME. (We wanted each paragraph to start with the given letters.)

THEY DID SUCH AN AWESOME JOB!

Now, how to vote?

Yup, that’s pretty much the method, although the writing of the individual feedback full of love is very much optional. (And yes, we’re reusing this meme from last week.)

Read the drabbles below the line (or on wordpress) and GO VOTE when you’re done!

#1

Title: Little Prick Author: sorion Warnings: none Summary: Just some bondy banter.

Now, that was just rude, Q thought, sipping his tea with his eyes on the computer screen and giving a weak attempt at not looking amused.

Other than the potted plant in the corner, nobody was convinced of said attempt, and neither was Bond at the other end of the satellite connection, and he couldn't even see Q.

The hand gesture Bond waved at the hidden camera was still rude, though less original.

"I can hear you laugh into your tea; don't think I can't," Bond's crystal-clear voice echoed through Q-Branch.

"Mmm," Q hummed in agreement. "I have to get my kicks from somewhere, Bond, and you're usually a reliable source."

Ever the gentleman, Bond conceded with grace. "Alright, you win," he said. "Provided, of course, that you stop laughing for long enough to get me out of here, so I can come home."

#2

Title: White Knight Author: sunaddicted Warnings: none Summary: bratty agents really do get on Bill’s nerves

"No."

"Oh, come on!"

Tanner arched an eyebrow at the raised tone of voice 009 was directing at him: he definitely didn't appreciate being talked to in such manner by a bratty agent - how the man was Q's favorite (besides Bond, of course), Bill would never know.

 "I'm not messing around with the line-up just because you want to go to Malaysia." 

M cleared his throat from the entrance of Tanner's office, looking coldly at 009. "Of course you're not. You should go get kitted for your own mission, 009: I believe R is waiting for you in Q-Branch."

Exhaling loudly, 009 pursed his lips and left with a stiff and parting nod - it was absolutely satisfying to watch. "You didn't have to come and save me," Bill pointed out, smiling up at the other  even as M bent down to kiss him. "Thank you, though."

#3

Title: Another Door Opens Author: soufflegirl91 Warnings: None Summary: Eve contemplates a door, and what led her to it

Now or never.

One way or another, things were about to change forever. In a way, everything from the moment she had shot James Bond off that bridge in Turkey had been leading to this.

The door loomed ahead, waiting for her to take the next step. There had been a time when she thought that with that one shot, she had ruined things forever. That any opportunity she had to prove herself in the field, any chance of a career, had crashed into the water with Bond’s body.

Instead, it had merely opened another door for her. Given her a chance to learn things she never would have in the field. The people, the politics. All the little games the field agents never saw.

“M,” her secretary greeted.

Eve nodded back at her, and walked through the door to her new office.

#4

Title: Inside Information Author: starrboned / MrKsan Warnings: content warning: alcohol Summary: Bond is back again and bets are placed.

“No,” Q said over his glass of gin, finishing it off in one swig. “Not doing this again.”

“Or you could stop being such a wet blanket and place your bet already,” Moneypenny said, poking him in the ribs. He swatted at her, scooting closer to Tanner. “We all know Bond will ‘retire’ soon enough.”

“That’s all everyone’s talking about,” Q huffed, staring at his empty glass. “He’s back, he’s off again - it’s a never-ending cycle.” Almost wish he'd stay gone, he didn't say.

“It is,” Tanner sighs, nudging his half-full pint towards Q. “But even Mallory wagered a full six months."

“Mallory did?” Q almost choked on Tanner’s beer. “That’s - that’s unusual of him.”

“Eh, said something about how ‘Bond has something to prove' this time around.“ Tanner grinned. Q felt his cheeks warm under his knowing gaze. "Maybe he has some inside information, huh?"

#5

Title: No Time Like The Present Author: storm_of_sharp_things Warnings: none Summary: Felix had been wondering if it was ever going to happen

“Not that you need to answer, but did you ever sleep with him?” Felix looked up from his glass as MI6’s Chief of Staff dropped into the chair next to him at the bar and quirked an eyebrow. It wasn’t how Felix would’ve started this conversation, but...

“Once,” he admitted. He tossed back the rest of his drink. “You?”

Tanner nodded, his gaze distant. “Once,” he said with a faint smile. “Seemed a good idea at the time.”

“I don’t regret it,” Felix said. Then he shrugged and smirked. “I think we’d have shot each other if we’d really tried to make it work. But I do miss him.”

“Me too.” Tanner paused long enough that Felix wondered if he’d follow through. “Listen, I’ve got some good bourbon back at mine. Want a drink where it’s quieter?”

“Easy answer,” Felix grinned. “Hell yes, thought you’d never ask, let’s go.”

#6

Title: Entanglement Author: Nana-chan Warnings: Summary: In which 007 and Q trade places...

“Now take your clothes off slowly,” said Bond softly. “Goddammit, Q, I said slowly.”

“Oh, do piss off, Bond,” Q hissed, dropping his shirt to the floor while Bond continued to watch him through the CCTV live feed. “Now, help me with the leathers.”

“That actually sounds very sexy, coming from you,” Bond said conversationally, his eyes drifting all over Q’s bare midriff before focusing on the contraption strapped to him.

“I suppose it does, yeah,” replied Q archly. “Never mind my predicament.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Bond, unfazed. “Not enough time. The straps will have to stay for now. I’ll start, then.”

Entanglements such as this were usually Bond’s lot, not his, but what was he to do when someone had attached an IED to his person? At least he’d dispatched his would-be kidnapper. He sighed, relieved, as Bond typed in the code he’d devised to remotely disable the ticking bomb.

#7

Title: Time Well Spent Author: IrishWitch58 / captain-magicalkitty Warnings: None Summary: A conversation over coms.

“Nine bloody days and the target hasn't moved at all.” Q could almost see the exasperated expression. Bond hated the need for surveillance and made his displeasure known.

“Once he does, I'm sure the resulting excitement will more than make up for your current boredom,” Q soothed. He managed to hide his smile from the rest of the branch late shift.

There was a disgusted snort from the coms. “You'll have to do better than that to make this up to me.” The tone was suggestive but only in the general Bond default setting. Q wasn't concerned about anyone overhearing.

“If you're still angling after an exploding pen, dream on.”

“Miser,” Bond accused, fond tone at odds with the statement.

Eventually the target would move and Bond would get the job done. Until then, they enjoyed time spent together, even far apart.

#8

Title: N O T I M E Author: hexiva Warnings: Character death Summary: Bond confronts Blofeld.

No time to think as James rounds the corner, gun in hand, and comes face to face with Blofeld, with Franz. 

Only hatred in Franz’s eyes, he reaches for his gun.

Trigger burning against James’ finger, all he has to do is pull it, end this, end this, but - 

Ivy leaves underfoot, the sky blue above them, and they’re bickering but they’re just children still, not the killers they will become, and Franz laughs as James trips, and he reaches down to offer him a hand - 

Many years ago, they were brothers. Franz knew him before he was 007. He’s the last man left who did. Everyone else is gone, and James is tired of being alone and tired of being a killer.

Every muscle in his body aches with weariness as he lets his gun drop. And he looks Franz in the eyes as Franz pulls the trigger.

#9

Title: A Change of The Story Author: scarytheory Warnings: (a little bit of) sci-fi Summary: She has seen the future. What she’ll do with it is up to her.

No time to waste when she’s got a glimpse of the future. She had seen Bond devastated by loss and full of rage. She had seen Q who was absorbed in his job, bitter and sad. And herself – composed and nice and so, so lonely. Or was it possible to change it? She decided to go to that beach instead of Bond. But before she left, she whispered to him: “You’ve got a secret admirer in the Q branch.” Will it be enough? And the girl on the beach… will she manage to save her? “Tracy!” she screamed as she was trying to get her out of the water.

“I don’t know you.” Not yet.

“Moneypenny, Eve Moneypenny.”

Eve decided that this time she wasn't going to let them be burned by the inevitability. This time, Tracy would live.

#10

Title: Let the Record Show Author: anyawen Warnings: None Summary: They've read the same reports, but have arrived at differing conclusions.

"No, I don't think so," Q disagrees with forced lightness. "Not this time."

"Oh, honey," Eve sighs, not fooled in the least. She reaches across the table to squeeze his hand. "Every time. He always comes back."

"There's no reason for him to come back, not anymore," Q insists. "M is dead, and he's finished the last mission she ever gave him. He can retire now. Live a peaceful life with a beautiful woman. And a beautiful car."

"If you think he'll be happy with a peaceful life, you don't understand him as well as you think," Eve laughs.

"Maybe he doesn't want peaceful," Q allows, "but we've read his file. He doesn't want m— this either, or he wouldn't keep trying to leave."

"Eventually, he will come home. And when he does," Eve says, sitting back and angling to speak to someone over Q's shoulder, "you should tell him."

#11

Title: TO DIE Author: Merc / moon_of_mercury Warnings: This one is depressing. Sorry! Summary: The End.

Never again...

Observing from behind his screen, Q takes in the smoking, crumbling scene of destruction. Police cars with flashing lights and blaring sirens swarm the streets. A familiar silhouette blends in with the by-passers, slipping out of his view around the corner.

This is the last time James Bond holsters his gun, dusts off his suit, and heads for the airport to catch a flight Moneypenny arranged for him.

“It’s done,” Q says into the expectant stillness of the room. It hurts a little, even though he’s relieved. The showdown could have gone so much worse, but this is just as final.

Memories of this mission will haunt him for different reasons than usual. Their blazing victory is a bittersweet consolation.

Everything ends here; even those things that never began.

#12

Title: Mission Goal: Ideas Author: Venstar /1amvengeance Warnings: none Summary: well someone had to think of something.

“Now you're just showing off.” James’s voice drawled against Q’s ear.

“Oh, I'm showing off. Did you have any other ideas? No. Spies should have faster reflexes than asking me to 'Quick hide us!' My time and equipment are very expensive.” Q hissed quietly. They were still on a mission after all.

“That kiss was a far better idea than anything I had in mind. I'm happy to pay your asking price. Are you okay Q, your face has gone all red.”

“I will murder you in your sleep. I will end you. I will scatter your body parts to the farthest corners of the globe as a warning to those that think about blaming me for coming up with all the ideas!”

“Maybe instead of murder, you should think about our target. He’s escaping.”

“Escaping my arse. Someone is going to pay for your lack of ideas.”

#13

Title: Losing and Having Author: solarmorrigan Warnings: None. Summary: Bond reflects and knows he can't have it any other way.

Never in all his life had Bond felt quite this level of terror.

Or – well, no. That wasn’t quite true.

There had been one other time.

In the murky water, watching everything he’d allowed himself to love and depend on slip away into oblivion. The fear had clutched him then, shaken him and wrecked him.

Maybe he should have listened to his own damn self when he’d designated the heart as nothing but a target.

Even so, even knowing this, Bond clutched Q’s hand, eyes locked on his bruised and battered quartermaster who had only just returned to him, and knew it was worth it. The fear of loss was nothing against the euphoria of having.

#14

Title: Dreisamkeit (Or: Bliss comes in threes) Author: Misha / artsytarts / jelly-mish Warnings: Sickly sweet fluff, watch out for cavities Summary: Della, Felix and James are toying with the idea of having a lazy day in.

Nestled between the warm bodies of her boys, Della felt content.

“Occasionally, I’d like to just... stay here. All day.”, she said, letting her fingers brush through their hair in lazy strokes. James tightened his grip around her and made an approving noise.

Then the beeping started. Felix moved, banging his fist on the alarm clock. “Gosh darn it,” he growled. Della pouted in response, until a thought struck her. What if they took a sick day? Food poisoning? Good enough story. She suggested it out loud.

“If you take the blame,” James mumbled sleepily.

“Me? If anyone, it’d be Felix,” Della grinned at her husband's dirty look and carried on: “Remember when you forgot to add water to the pasta? The fumes were noxious.”

Eventually, reluctantly, they broke up their haven of safety and rolled out of bed. Della sighed. There never seemed to be enough time.

#15

Title: Augment Author: oldestcharm Warnings: n/a Summary: Every week Q argues his case and wins. "No," M says, squinting and displeased. "Absolutely not."

"One million," Q attempts with a half-hearted smile, but he knows well enough that it wouldn't work in any other situation. He's not even trying that hard at this point, because he knows he'll win this argument every single time. "It's not that much. I should probably ask ten times that with the amount of shit Bond breaks. Remember last week? I deserve a better budget."

"Then stop supplying him with expensive equipment," M suggests, unsympathetic at best.

"I'll have you know he'll get his hands on it whether I supply it or not," Q says crossly.

"Maybe you aren't doing a good enough job at security."

"Exactly, I need a better budget!" Q insists, eyeing M with a bit of a manic expression as he sets down the tablet in front of him. "Now sign it or deal with the consequences."

Go Vote!

#00Q #00Q fic #drabbles #james bond fanfiction #james bond #LDWS #ldws 2021 #ldws2021

[bevioletskies]

(i’m caught between) goodbye and i love you

summary: Sometimes, Klavier thinks a little too much about how he never knew the last time he saw Apollo was going to be the last time he saw Apollo. So, when Apollo finally returns home from Khura’in, Klavier finds himself stuck, unsure of when to finally tell Apollo how he feels - especially when it seems like Apollo isn’t quite ready to confess, either.

word count: 16.9k | read on ao3

a/n: For @klapollo-week, day seven of seven (prompt: "catharsis"). All seven of my fics take place in the same continuity! However, each can be read as a stand-alone, with the exception of day seven being a sequel to day five.

Mild spoiler warning for Spirit of Justice; warning for brief mentions of alcohol and one scene where a character has a panic attack. Fic title is from the song (I'm Caught Between) Goodbye And I Love You by the Carpenters.

“What do you think, Gavin, which do you - hey, Gavin? Are you listening?”

Klavier startled at the sound of Apollo’s voice, too lost in his own thoughts to realize someone had been talking to him. He looked over at Apollo, who was standing underneath one of the courthouse’s most prolific picture windows, practically glowing in the early afternoon sun. Klavier’s breath hitched at the sight. “Ah - my apologies, Herr Forehead, I didn’t catch that. What were you saying?”

“Ema said we should all do something that doesn’t involve murder for once.” Apollo looked up from his phone, wincing. “Er, that is, something that doesn’t involve solving a murder for once. She suggested drinks, though Kay apparently prefers laser tag. As if I don't get enough bumps and bruises from helping Trucy out on weekends.”

“Ah, the life of a magician’s brother,” Klavier teased, smiling easily. “But, wait - do you mean to say Fräulein Detective actually wants to hang out with me? Or are you inviting me? Either way, I find it hard to believe.”

“No one’s more surprised than me,” Apollo drawled. “But seriously, Ema says Kay is making her ask you through me, ‘cos that totally makes sense. Anyway, drinks or laser tag? Or, y’know, both? They’re thinking this weekend since they’re going to some forensics convention next weekend. Did not know those existed. Do you think they give out swag bags full of fingerprint powder?”

“I would advise against it if they did,” Klavier said, chuckling. He then slipped his hands into his pockets, shooting Apollo an apologetic grimace. “Sorry, Forehead, you’ll have to have a good time without me. I have a dentist appointment, some meetings...you know how it is. Maybe next time, ja?”

“Sure, I’ll let you know whenever that is,” Apollo replied with a nonchalant shrug; he sent a quick text, presumably to Ema, then pocketed his phone. “Anyway, I should go find Mr. Wright and head back to the agency. So, uh...see you when I see you, I guess.”

“Auf Wiedersehen, baby,” Klavier said, winking. Apollo rolled his eyes, turning on his heel and striding away, waving Klavier off over his shoulder. “Don’t have too good a time without me, though, ja?” Apollo’s wave instantly turned into a middle finger.

Barely two weeks later, Klavier found himself replaying the rather mundane conversation in his head over and over again as he walked into his superior’s office, his hands shoved into his pockets to hide how hard they were shaking. “Willkommen zurück, Herr Edgeworth. How was your flight? Smooth, I hope.”

“Smoother than what conspired in Khura’in, to be sure,” Edgeworth replied, neatly setting his teacup down in its saucer. “Don’t worry, Prosecutor Gavin, I’m still getting everything in order. I doubt you’ll have much work to do today, bar any last-minute cases coming in.”

“Danke, sir, good to know.” Klavier glanced briefly in the direction of Edgeworth’s custom chessboard, his red knights and blue pawns, just so he wouldn’t have to look at its owner’s steely gaze. “So, er - ”

“Out with it, Prosecutor Gavin,” Edgeworth said, sighing wearily. “I can tell you have something on your mind. I’m afraid I can’t give you the exact details of what happened, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

“Ah - ja, I know, I - I was just wondering if…” Klavier hesitated. “...if everyone is...okay. Safe and sound, so to speak.”

Edgeworth’s face softened. “Yes, everyone’s perfectly fine. Wright, Ms. Fey, Ms. Cykes, and Trucy are all fine.”

Klavier blinked. “Wait, but - what about Herr Fore - Herr Justice? What...did he…”

“I should have known that was who you were really curious about,” Edgeworth said knowingly, looking at Klavier over the tops of his glasses. His expression, gentle, almost sympathetic, made Klavier’s stomach churn. “Mr. Justice decided to stay behind in Khura’in indefinitely. He’s looking to help rebuild their legal system from the ground up.”

Klavier felt as if his heart had dropped right through to the floor. “He’s...he’s not coming back?” He could barely hear the sound of his own voice over the rush of his pulse pounding in his ears.

“Eventually, perhaps, but not anytime soon,” Edgeworth replied. “My apologies, Prosecutor Gavin. I know you two were…”

“Close?” Klavier let out a bitter, hollow laugh. “Nein, not at all. We were barely even friends.”

Edgeworth straightened up in his seat, and then, to Klavier’s astonishment, removed his glasses. It was unnerving to see such warmth in his superior’s eyes, especially when he knew Edgeworth didn’t think much of him in the first place. Not after what had happened all those years ago, even though it hadn’t really been him. “Let me amend my previous statement, then. I know you two had a...connection of sorts.”

“Ja, through...through someone I’d rather not talk about.” Klavier cleared his throat. “Danke for letting me know, Herr Edgeworth. It’s...good to see Herr Justice making something of himself.”

“He's definitely an admirable young man,” Edgeworth replied, nodding slowly. “I can see why Wright took a liking to him. I can see why you took a liking to him.”

“Ah, well,” Klavier said, coughing again. “Anyway, I should leave you to it, sir. Have a good rest of your day, ja? I’ll be in my office if anything comes up.”

“Of course.” Edgeworth neatly slid his glasses back on, then turned his attention to his work laptop. “Take care, Prosecutor Gavin.” Nodding at the dismissal, Klavier bowed his head and left Edgeworth’s office, his footsteps noticeably heavier than they’d been when he first entered it. He took a few heaving breaths, then shut himself in his own office and let out a small, silent sob.

_____

“I see you’re moping again, Gavin-dono. Must be a day that ends in ‘y’.”

“Bitte, Herr Blackquill, I’m perfectly fine,” Klavier said, clutching his mug of tea a little tighter than necessary. “My trial yesterday? Perfekt. The weather during my morning run earlier today? Perfekt. The leftovers I brought for lunch today? Perfekt, so long as Herr Payne doesn’t break the microwave again before I get there...I don’t know how he manages to do that on a weekly basis. Anyway, as you can see, I’ve never been better.”

“What a sad testament to your mental state if that were true.” Simon dropped into the seat opposite him, his hands resting on top of the breakroom table, his intense gaze focused on Klavier’s face. Klavier didn’t find him as intimidating as everyone else did, especially not after he’d witnessed Simon sing a drunken duet with Kay, entirely unprompted, at an office holiday party. No amount of threats or glares could get Klavier to delete the video evidence off his backup hard drive. “Luckily for you, it’s entirely false. You’ve been acting strangely for weeks now, and I know the reason why.”

“Do you really?” Klavier sipped his tea. “I thought you didn’t, quote-unquote, ‘care to stick your nose in my absurd affairs’. After all, I’m the silly one of the prosecutor’s office, am I not?” Simon cocked his head slightly, perplexed. “Ah, that Prosecutor Gavin, what an odd one he is. All style and no substance, always speaking in that accent that no one believes is real, always spouting nonsense and song lyrics and little else.”

“Self-hatred doesn’t suit you, so I suggest you cease this pitiful act at once,” Simon said, frowning. “You’re a confident man, Gavin-dono. I’d even say your confidence is fully justified, foppish nature aside. And yet, here you are, torn up over Justice-dono’s absence like a heartbroken teenager.”

“I am not torn up,” Klavier sniffed, setting his mug down with a sharp clunk. “I’m happy to hear that Herr Forehead has found his true calling. A far cry from the loud, nervous rookie he was when we first met. Now, he’s just loud.”

“...hmph. Yes, that piercing voice of his certainly rivals Taka’s,” Simon replied, taking a moment to scratch the underside of his bird’s chin. Klavier didn’t like the way Taka was eyeing his hair; he suspected Taka was fighting against his instincts to make a nest.

“Maybe still a little nervous.” Klavier paused. “I imagine seeing him stand in a Khura’inese court must be quite...something.”

“I didn’t sit here with the intention of listening to you dance around your romantic feelings towards Justice-dono, you know,” Simon informed him. “It’s exhausting and pointless, and a waste of my time.”

Klavier averted his eyes from Simon’s face, finding himself oddly fascinated with a water stain on the opposite wall, right beside the notice board. “Why did you sit here, then?”

“Because...I know a lonely person when I see one.” Simon let the silence linger for a moment; Klavier wasn’t sure which of them favored dramatic pauses more. “Even Athena told me you seemed...not yourself. Though you’ve been performing your prosecutorial duties just fine, she said you were distant...distracted. Is it the lack of companionship, perhaps?”

“You and Herr Edgeworth seem to be under the impression that Forehead and I were friends,” Klavier said evenly, his tone growing increasingly irritated. “The truth is, Herr Blackquill - since you seem unusually interested for someone who barely says two words to me most mornings - that Apollo was my friend, but I wasn’t his. Is that what you wanted to hear? Has your analysis of my psyche scratched your itch?”

Like Edgeworth, Simon’s face almost seemed to soften. “I had no desire to rile you up, but...I see that I’ve done it, anyway. I see that I’ve overstepped. Forgive me, Gavin-dono.” Klavier looked up at him, stunned. Simon merely stood, smoothing out the front of his coat. Even Taka’s expression seemed apologetic. “Find someone to talk to, if you haven’t already; it will do you a world of good. I heard many a story from my fellow prisoners by simply offering to lend an ear. I think you’d find the process of opening up to be quite...illuminating. Freeing, even.”

“I’m sure I would.” Klavier took another sip and said nothing else.

_____

“Mr. Gavin! I thought I saw you in the audience, but I couldn’t believe it!”

Laughing, Klavier held out the bouquet of red roses in his arms for her to take. “Alles Gute zum Geburtstag, fräulein, what a perfect way to celebrate your eighteenth. You were as magical as ever, though who would ever expect any less?”

Beaming, Trucy accepted his flowers, then practically launched herself right at him, wrapping her arms around his waist. He barely managed to catch her in time. “Thank you so much! Ah, these are so beautiful - and they smell great, too!” She stepped back, taking a generous whiff before exhaling happily. “Hey, do you wanna drop by my dressing room for a sec? I have to go sign autographs and stuff, but I’m sure Athena would love to say hi!”

“Sure,” Klavier agreed. “Lead the way.” He followed Trucy down the backstage corridor, coming to a stop in front of a door with a gold nameplate in the shape of a silk top hat. Klavier involuntarily shuddered; the Gramarye seal had always been a sore spot for him, no matter how many good memories outweighed the bad. Trucy opened the door, revealing that it wasn’t just Athena who was waiting inside, but a whole group of people - Athena, the two Fey women whose names Klavier vaguely remembered from Trucy’s stories, Detective Gumshoe, and an odd, almost sad-looking girl wearing a traditional costume. However, Klavier’s eyes went straight to the two people conversing by Trucy’s dressing table - Phoenix Wright and Vera Misham.

Phoenix turned at the sound of the door opening. His eyes widened slightly when he saw who it was. “This is becoming a real party now, hey, Truce?” he teased, lightly ruffling his daughter’s hair. Trucy stuck her tongue out at him, then went to carefully place Klavier’s flowers among the dozens of others by her costume rack. Phoenix’s expression tightened somewhat. “Prosecutor Gavin, it’s - it’s good to see you. Trucy swore she spotted you in the audience, but I guess my eyes were never as sharp as hers.”

“I know her party is tomorrow, but I wouldn’t dare pass up the chance to watch her birthday extravaganza,” Klavier said smoothly. He felt as if Vera’s eyes were burning holes in the side of his face.

“So you’re Prosecutor Gavin, huh?” The older Fey woman - Maya, if Klavier remembered correctly - sidled right up to him with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Trucy and Athena have told me all about you. I hear you’re different from the other prosecutors me and Nick had to deal with back in the day!”

The door opened behind Klavier. “Are you talking about us, Maya Fey?” He turned on his heel to see Edgeworth and Franziska von Karma standing in the doorway, both impeccably dressed as always, carrying identical bouquets of white lilies and blue delphinium in their arms.

“Auntie Franzy!” Trucy shrieked, barreling across the room to toss herself into Franziska’s arms, much like she had done to Klavier just moments ago. “Daddy said you weren’t gonna fly in until tomorrow!”

“And miss your performance? I would be a foolishly foolish fool if I did,” Franziska huffed, kissing Trucy on the cheek. “You will receive the rest of our presents tomorrow. I hear your fool of a father refuses to let you wear makeup despite the fact that you’d like to, and I am here to rectify that parenting mistake. You’re eighteen now, after all; you should be able to do as you please.”

“Within reason,” Edgeworth added, shooting Franziska a withering look. “Don’t encourage her too much, Franziska. I think we're all too familiar with Trucy’s...imagination.”

“Miles Edgeworth, how dare you question my - ”

Klavier quickly retreated into a corner of the dressing room as everyone’s voices grew louder and louder; clearly, his presence had been completely forgotten. He spotted the younger Fey woman, Pearl, conversing with the sad-looking girl - Jinxie, he heard her name was - while Maya and Detective Gumshoe chatted happily with Edgeworth and Franziska. Trucy had left to sign autographs for her fans, leaving Phoenix to turn back to Vera, who was still eyeing Klavier warily.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Klavier startled suddenly at the sound of Athena’s voice. He turned to see her perched on the vanity, legs swinging over the edge, smiling at him encouragingly. “You seem a little lost, Prosecutor Gavin. Everything okay?”

Sighing, Klavier leaned against the wall, glancing down at the toes of his Doc Martens. “Don’t tell me Herr Blackquill asked you to keep an eye on me.”

“Hardly!” Athena exclaimed; she almost seemed offended by his insinuation. “You just seem a little...quiet, that’s all.”

“Well…” Klavier looked back up, shooting her a stilted smile. “Everyone here is either someone I don’t know, someone I work with, or someone whose life I ruined. Forgive me for feeling a little...cornered.”

“C’mon, you didn’t ruin their lives,” Athena said, hopping down so she could lightly punch him in the arm. “I heard the whole story from Apollo ages ago, and he says it wasn’t you. He says you were just a…a schachfigur in someone else’s game.”

“A pawn, in other words.” Klavier chuckled despite himself. “Ja, if you want to be generous about it...or if you want to say that I’m easily swayed. Did Herr Forehead really say that?”

“He sure did! He talks about you all the time,” Athena added with an enthusiastic nod. “I mean, you annoy him - a lot - but he’s always mentioning how decent and honest you are. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think, well...nah, probably not.”

“Probably not,” Klavier echoed, trying his best to ignore his racing heart. The last thing he wanted to do was have hope. “Anyway, I don’t think I’ll be sticking around much longer. Don’t want to get in the way.”

“Huh? You’re not getting in the way of anything!” Athena protested. “Are you sure you won’t stay?”

Klavier shook his head, pushing himself off the wall and straightening up, smoothing out the creases in his hoodie. “Nein, I should make an early night of it. I have to meet my personal trainer bright and early, after all. But I’ll see you at Trucy’s party tomorrow, ja?”

Athena hesitated. “Ja, of course,” she chirped, plastering on an uncertain smile. “And hey, if you ever need a running partner, you have my number!”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Klavier promised, surprising himself by how true that was. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d gone running with someone who wasn’t his personal trainer. “Gute Nacht, fräulein.”

“G’night,” Athena said, squeezing his shoulder before letting him go. Nodding, Klavier deftly weaved his way through the crowded dressing room and slipped out the door. A few heads turned his way, but no one seemed interested in saying their goodbyes, nor was he all that interested in offering his own, either. The moment he stepped into the corridor, he heard a startled gasp, a choked breath, that almost made him jump.

“Ach - my apologies, I didn’t mean to - Trucy?”

Leaning against the wall opposite her dressing room door was Trucy, her eyes wide and suspiciously wet. “Oh - Mr. Gavin, d-don’t tell me you’re leaving already!”

“I have a session with my - are you alright, fräulein?” Klavier asked, closing the door behind him, then approaching her slowly, carefully. “You look…”

“ - like I’ve been crying?” Trucy let out a wet laugh, pulling a tissue out of nowhere and hastily wiping her eyes. “Don’t you cry after a big performance, Mr. Gavin? You know, that rush of adrenaline, that boost of energy, that feeling of relief - it’s all a part of being a performer! Especially on a stage as big as this!”

“Natürlich, I’ve absolutely wept tears of joy after a gut show. But this?” Klavier gestured in her direction. “This...it’s something else, isn’t it?”

“I - it’s just…” Trucy sniffled. “You won’t tell anyone, right?”

“Not if you don’t want me to,” Klavier said softly. “Though maybe Herr Wright should hear this another time, too.”

“I don’t wanna bother Daddy,” Trucy said, shaking her head. “Besides, I...I don’t wanna make him feel bad!”

“Bad?” Klavier repeated, confused. “What do you mean?”

Trucy took a moment to blow her nose. Then, she managed a small smile in Klavier’s direction. “It’s stupid, but...when I was in there earlier, and I-I saw all of my friends and family together, I started thinking about...you know. The rest of my family. All of the Gramaryes, all gone.” She sniffled noisily again. “Mommy and Daddy and Grandpa, they - th-they never got to see me grow up. And Uncle Valant, he’s still in prison, a-and - so now it’s just me. Just me. I have to carry on the family legacy, but no one’s here to teach me how!”

Klavier’s eyes widened in shock. “Trucy…”

“But if I tell Daddy - Phoenix, I mean - that I’ve been thinking about Mommy and Daddy, he’s gonna...I just can’t,” Trucy continued, shaking her head vehemently. “If he finds out, he’s gonna feel like...like he failed me. And he didn’t, not one bit, but - when I first started living with him, he said he felt like that all the time. Like he was doing it all wrong.” She swallowed, but her throat seemed to be stuck. “And...I’ve, um, I’ve been thinking about Apollo, too.”

“You were?” Klavier asked, his mouth twisting. “Why?”

“I know I’ve only known him for a few years, but...it feels like I’ve known him forever. Like we were always meant to be best friends, you know?” Trucy was now fiddling with the ends of her cape, avoiding Klavier’s eyes. “It’s my birthday, a-and he’s not here. He called yesterday to say he wouldn’t be able to talk today, so we had a little celebration together, just the two of us. It was nice, but it just...it wasn’t the same.”

“He’ll come back eventually, ja?” Klavier said gently. “You said that was part of his plan.”

“‘Eventually’ is looking further and further away,” Trucy said with a wry smile. “But I-I know I gotta be okay with it. He’s doing really important stuff in Khura’in, after all!” She then nudged him. “You should call him sometime - he’s talked about some really cool cases that I bet you’d be interested in.”

“I doubt he’d want to hear from me, of all people, especially if he’s as busy as he sounds,” Klavier chuckled.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Mr. Gavin,” Trucy teased, elbowing him again. “He only just told me yesterday that he misses you…‘in a weird way’. That’s practically a glowing review, coming from Polly!”

Klavier felt his heartbeat race once more. “Ah, well, then maybe I should consider it. How could I not, when I might get to hear such generous praise myself?” Trucy burst into laughter, her face finally relaxing for the first time since Klavier had approached her.

They lingered in companionable silence for a moment, hearing nothing but their own steadying breaths and the muffled sounds of what seemed like absolute chaos coming from inside Trucy’s dressing room. Klavier wasn’t sure if he wanted to know why it sounded like Franziska was lecturing at least three different people at the same time. “Thanks for hearing me out, Mr. Gavin.”

“Bitte schön, though I’m not sure if I was any help at all,” Klavier admitted.

“Of course you were!” Trucy exclaimed, straightening up. “I feel better now, honest. Just talking about all that stuff really helped, even if I’m still not exactly sure what to do.”

“Hopefully you will soon, ja?” Klavier moved away from the wall, flashing her a genuine smile. “But if you ask me, you’re already doing a wunderschön job of upholding the Gramarye name, and I’m sure if you talk to Herr Wright about how you’re feeling, he’d say the same thing. Don’t be so hard on yourself, fräulein.”

Trucy hesitated. Then, she stepped forward to hug Klavier, holding him a little tighter than last time. He automatically held her closer, too. “See you tomorrow?” she mumbled against his shoulder.

“Of course,” Klavier promised. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

_____

“How is he doing, that defense attorney of yours?”

Klavier looked up from the box he was packing. He found it almost too easy to get distracted in here, to feel a wave of nostalgia crash over him as he packed away the books and toys that once filled his childhood playroom. There were already paint swatches on the wall, a collection of wood stain samples sitting by his feet, but he wasn’t quite ready to see it transformed into something else, for the room to belong to someone other than him. “He’s not mine, Mama, he’s just a friend. And he’s fine, if a little stressed. Er, make that a lot stressed.”

“Doesn’t surprise me.” She clicked her tongue disapprovingly. “Even just hearing it secondhand, I can tell that boy needs a break.”

“I’ve told him as much,” Klavier said dryly. “We talk most days, you know. He’s just stubborn, won’t listen to anyone - least of all me.”

“If you talk most days, then he must listen to you to some degree, yes?” she pointed out, momentarily crossing the room so she could crack open a window. “How long has he been away now?”

“Almost seven months, I think,” Klavier replied, turning back to what he was doing. “Though we’ve been talking for...around three at this point. If it wasn’t for Trucy, I...I don’t think I would have ever tried. Even now, I feel like I take up too much of his time when he could be going to bed early or doing something more productive.”

“Ah, Klavier.” He looked back up to see his mother had returned to his side; her hand went to the top of his head, ruffling his hair affectionately. “Why is it so hard for you to understand when people care about you, hm? Aside from the screaming fans, I mean.”

“Mama,” Klavier complained, his cheeks heating with embarrassment. “Achtung, it’s nothing like that. All I’m saying is, we were never close to begin with. I’m sure he’d rather talk to Trucy or get his advice from Herr Wright.”

Frowning, she withdrew her hand from Klavier’s hair. “I don’t know what I would say to that man if I were to ever meet him. Where would I even begin?”

“I...ah…” Klavier busied himself with the collection of picture books he’d been rifling through earlier, smiling faintly at the sight of his name scrawled on the inside covers in barely legible chicken scratch. “...I have that same thought, and I see him all the time. I suppose an apology is in order, but...I don’t know if he would even want to hear it.”

“To think Kris ruined far more lives than just the ones he’d taken,” she whispered, slowly sinking down to sit beside him. “To think he’d taken any lives at all, I - ”

“Mama, bitte - ”

“What did we do, Klavier?” she said forlornly, her voice thick with emotion. “Where did we go wrong? What could we have - ”

“Mama, Mama, breathe,” Klavier murmured, rubbing her back soothingly. “It wasn’t your fault, ja? Not yours, not Papa’s. Just his, and...a little bit of mine.”

“Hardly,” she insisted. She then cupped his face in her hands, looking up at him with watery eyes and a bittersweet smile. “Don’t let anyone blame you for what he did, darling, especially not yourself. Promise?”

“Ich verspreche,” Klavier said obediently, tilting his chin down so she could kiss his forehead. She then released him with a satisfied nod, turning back the box she’d been working on earlier; in doing so, she missed the way Klavier’s face fell. He cleared his throat. “So...a crafting room, ja? What kind of projects did you have in mind?”

“I haven’t decided yet,” she said, humming. “I want to try a few things - cross-stitching, beadwork, paper crafting...we’ll have to see what sticks. If any of them stick.”

“You’re not retired yet, Mama,” Klavier reminded her. “I’m exhausted just listening to you and Papa talk about what you’ve been up to - I don’t know how you do it.”

“You’re exhausted? I’m exhausted just listening to what you’ve been up to,” she teased. “You’re not the only prosecutor in the district, baby, so why do you work like you are? Go out, live a little. Or stay in, I suppose, whatever you prefer.”

“I like being busy,” Klavier said defensively. “And I enjoy my work, you know that.”

“I just wish you enjoyed more than just working, that’s all,” she said, clicking her tongue disapprovingly. “You know what they say - don’t turn your hobbies into a career. But you went ahead and did that anyway, and now you don’t have any hobbies left!”

“I have plenty of hobbies, danke very much,” Klavier chuckled. “Cooking, working out...and I’m not exactly in the music business anymore, so I’d say that’s back to being a hobby, ja?”

“How about friends?” she suggested. “All I hear about is the people who work for you or the people who work with you.”

“That’s just how it goes,” Klavier said with a rueful grimace. “Making friends as an adult...it’s hard. But I mean it, mir geht's gut. You have nothing to worry about, not with me.”

“I know.” She squeezed his shoulder. “But I’m going to worry, anyway.” She then stood, smoothing out the front of her shirt. “We should probably get going with lunch before your papa gets home, yes? We’ll continue with this later.”

“Ja, Mama, natürlich,” Klavier replied, also getting to his feet. He cast one last lingering glance in the direction of the picture books - for it wasn’t just his messy, childish handwriting inside, but Kristoph’s neat cursive as well - before following her out into the hallway.

_____

Time, Klavier mused to himself every so often, never really made sense to him. He liked being on time, of course, he liked the precision of it, especially when it came to music. He was proud of his natural affinity for rhythm, for keeping time. It was why he excelled at piano and guitar lessons at an early age, why the numerous vocal coaches he’d had in his life found him particularly easy to work with. But it always caught him off-guard whenever things seemed to speed up or slow down or even come to a complete standstill whenever they pleased. Twenty-four years of his life, changed, when he learned about his brother’s true nature. Seven years of his band, gone, when his best friend turned out to be a criminal as well. And now, an entire year that felt like five, all because Apollo wasn’t here.

“You should just ask him out already,” Ema had said to him one evening, over drinks. “I know his name is misleading, but he’s just a person, not a god. What’re you so scared of?”

“I’m not fond of wasps or small spaces,” Klavier had drawled, smirking at Ema’s infuriated scowl as he took a sip of his beer. Still, he knew she had a point. As blunt as Apollo could be, Klavier doubted he would be cruel about turning someone down. It also didn’t help that these days, he was starting to get his hopes up, now that he and Apollo talked on a daily basis. He still wasn’t sure how it had happened, aside from Trucy’s encouragement and his own impulses, but he couldn’t be more thrilled that it had.

“Two more months until I’m out of here...I think,” Apollo amended, yawning, his face filling up Klavier’s entire laptop screen. He looked good, Klavier though, even better than usual - during his time in Khura’in, Apollo had gotten more sun; his skin was a few shades darker, his freckles especially more prominent across the bridge of his nose. His hair was longer, too, mostly in the back, and his wardrobe had slowly evolved into an aesthetically pleasing mix of American street style and Khura’inese casualwear. Apollo had also mentioned a few times that he had built up some muscle, especially in his calves and shoulders, now that he had to walk everywhere and carry his fully-loaded bag wherever he went. Klavier tried not to think about how much he was looking forward to seeing it for himself in person.

“You’re sure now?” Klavier asked. “You’ve said that before.”

“Pretty sure,” Apollo said, chuckling. “Nahyuta even bought me a plane ticket, like he can’t wait for me to leave.”

“I’m sure he’ll miss you all the same,” Klavier replied. “And he’s used to flying back and forth, so I doubt you’ll be apart for long.”

“I think I’m gonna miss him, too,” Apollo admitted, tugging on the sleeves of his hoodie. It always gave Klavier a little thrill whenever he saw Apollo wearing it - after all, it was once his, having sent it to Apollo via a care package that Trucy had put together a while ago. Though their upper bodies were comparable in width, Apollo was significantly shorter, which meant the hoodie seemed to completely swallow him up. “It’s weird, looking back on it. How different we were when we were kids - like, both as people and as brothers - and yet...some things never changed. I don’t even know how to explain it, I just...I just know.”

“Something only the two of you can understand, I’m sure,” Klavier said diplomatically. He’d heard many stories about Apollo and Nahyuta’s childhood by now, sometimes accompanied by the occasional mention of Dhurke. Even now, he found it hard to picture; he wasn’t too familiar with Nahyuta, but the thought of him and Apollo chasing each other across mountainous hills or searching for frogs along the riverbanks seemed unlikely, yet it happened all the same. “You have a good relationship with him by now, I take it?”

“Definitely,” Apollo nodded. He then leaned in close to the camera, his voice dropping to an exaggerated whisper. “I’ve even grown on Rayfa, and though she'll never admit it, I think she kinda misses Mr. Wright.”

Klavier laughed. “Charmed her, have you? I’m not surprised. You can be...persuasive when you want to be.”

“You make me sound like a conman,” Apollo snorted, leaning back in his seat. “Give me a little credit, will you?”

“Ja, ja, fair enough,” Klavier said, holding his hands up in surrender. “After all, you did have a client ask you out once. Clearly, you have some natural appeal.”

“It’s happened twice, actually,” Apollo said, shuddering. “I don’t know what I did to make either of ‘em think I was remotely interested, but I shut them down fast.”

“You saved their lives,” Klavier pointed out. “It might be their...misguided way of showing their gratitude. Besides, you’re not half-bad. Some might even say you’re...attractive.”

“And the compliments just keep on rolling in.” Apollo got up from his seat, momentarily blocking the camera as he unplugged his laptop from its charger and carried it over to his bed. He sat cross-legged by his pillows, yawning and stretching luxuriously. “You really know how to make a guy feel special, Gavin.”

“If you’re fishing for praise, Forehead, you only have to ask,” Klavier teased. “Let’s see, should we talk about the impressive way that your voice cracks every so often when you shout, which is all the time? What about the fact that you only seem to own one tie in the most outlandish shade of blue I’ve ever seen? Or how, every single time, without fail, you always push on the courthouse entrance doors despite the fact that they’re clearly marked ‘pull’ - ”

“You are such a dick,” Apollo sighed, shaking his head.

“ - you managed to get food poisoning at two different events for the prosecutor’s office,” Klavier continued; if he wasn’t enjoying himself earlier, he certainly was now. “Ah, remember that time you ripped your pants at a crime scene? Good thing it was a thrift store, ja? But if you ask me, corduroy bell bottoms don’t quite suit you. You don’t have the height for flared hems.”

“...I think you’ve gone just a little off-track here,” Apollo drawled. “Take it back now, Gavin, you were s’posed to be saying nice stuff, remember? Like, tell me I’m good at my job or something.”

“You make the perfekt lawyer,” Klavier said in the most serious tone he could muster, biting his lip to stop himself from laughing. “After all, you just love to pick a fight.”

“Don’t think I won’t hang up on you,” Apollo said, yawning again as he half-flopped over onto his side, pillowing his hands beneath his cheek. For what felt like the thousandth time, Klavier found himself wishing he was in Khura’in, too.

“You say that every time, and you’ve never followed through,” Klavier reminded him. “Fine, you want a real compliment, Forehead?”

“That’s what I was asking for,” Apollo mumbled sleepily, his voice muffled.

“I think…” Klavier hesitated. “I think you might be one of my favorite people in the whole world.”

Apollo’s eyes flew open. “Huh? You...y-you really think so?”

“Would I be talking to you all the time if you weren’t?” Klavier chuckled. “How much free time do you think I have on my hands, hm?”

“Yeah, but - b-but still,” Apollo protested weakly. Klavier delighted in the way Apollo’s cheeks reddened, the way his nose scrunched up, the way his brows furrowed in an attempt to look irritated instead of embarrassed. “We only really became friends, like, uh...eight-ish months ago, so…”

“So nichts,” Klavier said derisively. “I say what I mean and I mean what I say, ja?”

Apollo shot him a drowsy smile. “Thanks, Gavin. It’s...actually kinda flattering.” He yawned yet again, curling up on top of his pillows. “Hey, I just remembered - you had your evaluation with Mr. Edgeworth just now, right? How’d that go, did you get three gold stars and an extra cookie to go with your juicebox like you wanted?”

“Call the prosecutor’s office a preschool just one time, all because Herr Debeste decided to bring Ritz crackers to the office potluck, and now you can’t let it go...and move on,” Klavier added, smirking; Apollo lifted a hand to flip him off. “It’s the usual with Herr Edgeworth, really - ‘excellent work, Prosecutor Gavin, nothing new to report’. Whenever I ask him if there’s anything more I can do, any way in which I can improve...I get nothing. It’s like he wants me out of his office as soon as possible.”

“I doubt it,” Apollo said quietly. “I know you keep saying over and over again that he blames you for what happened to Mr. Wright - but he doesn’t. Even if he did at one point, no one does anymore, alright? We know what happened, we know who it was, a-and it wasn’t you.” He propped himself up on his elbow, looking Klavier right in the eye. “Mr. Edgeworth doesn’t have suggestions for you ‘cos...you’re good at what you do. Somehow, you, Mister Euro-Rocker, are the most normal person at the prosecutor’s office. All anyone can accuse you of is, like, self-promotion, grandstanding, and wall slamming. Why do you do that, anyway?”

“I had a kickboxing phase,” Klavier said, laughing wetly. “That was surprisingly touching, Forehead, danke. Don’t we all aspire to be ‘the most normal person’ in any situation, achtung.”

“So you’re saying in some alternate universe, you would leg slam the prosecutor’s bench instead?” Apollo said dryly. “What would that even look like?”

“Gott if I know,” Klavier replied, continuing to laugh. “Anyway, should I let you go now? You look like you’re going to fall asleep at any second.”

“I’m fine.” Apollo slumped back down against his pillows, then let out an exaggerated exhale. “Though I wouldn’t, uh. I wouldn’t complain if you sang me to sleep, either.”

Klavier straightened up in his seat, surprised. “Again? I didn’t think you actually meant it last time, until it worked.”

“Your voice is, y’know...decent,” Apollo said, the corners of his mouth quirking upwards. “I have to listen to it for, like, two hours a day, after all. Going on and on about ‘ah, Herr Forehead, my bike didn’t start again’, or ‘I got a free drink at the courthouse café because the cute barista recognized me, can you believe it’ - oh, and we can’t forget the classic ‘you wouldn’t believe how terrible my hair looks today, I don’t know if I should turn my camera on’ - ”

“I take offense to that last one,” Klavier protested. “You’ve done the exact same thing to me! Remember when there was a thunderstorm - ”

“A Khura’inese thunderstorm, one of the worst the country’s ever seen, versus you having a, quote-unquote, ‘bad hair day’ ‘cos you woke up on the wrong side of the silk pillowcase. Very comparable,” Apollo drawled. “Go on, then, Gavin, give me a lullaby.”

Klavier steeled himself, taking a deep breath. Then, in the throatiest, most operatic voice he could muster, he began to sing. “Guten abend, gut nacht, mit rosen bedacht - ”

“Screw off, you - ” Apollo was doubled over, clutching at his stomach; the sound of his laugh, as cliché as it was, was music to Klavier’s ears. “Shit, I-I can’t even be mad at that one, that was on me. Okay, let’s not do a lullaby, just give me, like...something slow.”

Klavier hummed thoughtfully as he watched Apollo settle back down, drawing his duvet up over his shoulders. “Moon river, wider than a mile, I'm crossing you in style someday...dream maker, you heart breaker, wherever you're goin', I'm goin' your way…” It didn’t take long for Apollo to fall asleep, his breath slowly evening out as he did. He looked peaceful in a way that he never did when he was awake. Smiling to himself, Klavier went to end the call. “Gute Nacht, liebe.”

_____

“For the love of everything, can you please stop bouncing your leg like that?”

“Ah - ” Klavier clamped his hand down onto his thigh, offering her a nervous smile. “My apologies, fräulein, I didn’t realize it was so cold in here. Does Herr Wright have a habit of leaving the air conditioning on? I didn’t think this office even had air conditioning, to be honest.”

Ema side-eyed him derisively; the effect was slightly ruined by the huge bouquet of roses she had sitting in her lap. They were practically tickling her chin. “...cold, right. That’s what’s going on, not the fact that we’re here to surprise Apollo on his way back from the airport.”

Klavier was very tempted to glare back. He liked to think he was an amiable person, but Ema challenged that notion every time they spoke. “Why did you decide to return early, anyway? Was Herr Sahdmadhi getting on your nerves?”

“Oh, please,” Ema snorted. “Sorry, Gavin, you’re still the problem child of the prosecutor’s office to me. No, I left early ‘cos...well, because I could. Besides, I missed this one over here.” She lightly elbowed the person on her other side, who giggled sweetly in response.

“Long-distance suuucks,” Kay agreed, dropping her head onto Ema’s shoulder and shooting her an affectionate grin. “Now that Em’s back for good, we can finally look into getting a place together!”

“Have you started yet?” Klavier asked, curious. “Because my area has a few - ”

“Um, I-I think a taxi just pulled up outside!” Klavier turned to squint through the darkness in the direction of the front window, where Juniper, Vera, and the Fey women were hidden, lifting their heads every so often to peek through the blinds. Thankfully, Vera seemed less nervous around him these days; he hated the thought of making her uncomfortable, especially when there was nothing he could do about it but wait. He’d tried approaching her on the rare occasions they were in the same room together, but more often than not, they both ended up tongue-tied. “I see Thena, and Apollo, and Trucy...oh, there’s Mr. Wright! I think Trucy made him tip the driver extra, heh.”

Klavier’s heart seemed to be in his throat as he, Ema, and Kay crouched down behind Apollo’s desk, while the others went to duck behind Phoenix’s and Athena’s desks as well. It had been so long, so long that he’d nearly forgotten some of the little things that just didn’t quite translate via phone call or video chat - how tall Apollo really was, how loud he could truly be; the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed, or how he absent-mindedly played with his bracelet more often than Klavier suspected he realized himself. He had to stop himself from letting out a hysterical laugh when he remembered how, the last time he saw Apollo in person, he’d flipped Klavier off. How appropriate, Klavier thought somewhat dazedly, shaking his head. And now -

“...huh, so I really did leave my jacket here. Guess it doesn’t matter since I never wore it, anyway. I’m more of a suit vest kinda guy, you know? So, what are we - ” The light flickered on. All at once, the agency seemed to explode with noise as everyone jumped out from behind the desks.

“SURPRISE!” Several party poppers, courtesy of Maya and Kay, went off simultaneously, which only added to the chaos.

“ - argh - what the - ?!”

“Wh-whoa, Polly, watch your head! You almost knocked over Mr. Charley!”

“Forget Charley, I-I almost twisted my ankle just now, shit - ” Apollo managed to find his footing again, half-leaning against the back of the couch to keep himself propped up while he caught his breath, his hand clasped over his presumably racing heart. Klavier could only stare at him, dumbfounded, his mouth hanging open. Ema was side-eyeing him again, but by now, he really didn’t care.

Of course, Klavier had known for a few weeks now that today was the day, but to see Apollo standing - well, somewhat collapsing - in front of him was something else entirely. Clearly, Apollo’s laptop webcam and spotty internet connection hadn’t done him justice, not the healthy glow of his skin, nor the shine of his hair. He was wearing a Khura’inese tunic and joggers with both the sleeves and pant hems rolled up, revealing just how muscular he’d become. However, what intrigued Klavier most of all was the familiar-looking hoodie in Apollo’s arms.

“Hey, stranger,” Ema said, lightly punching Apollo in the shoulder, then unceremoniously shoving the bouquet of roses into his arms despite the fact he was still holding the handle of his rolling luggage bag. He nearly dropped it on his own foot in an attempt to grab the flowers in time. “It’s weird, right? I’m still getting used to, like, mega-grocery stores and smog all over again.”

“Considering I’ve only been inside an airport, a taxi, and the agency so far, I can’t say I’ve had time to adjust, no,” Apollo said dryly. He then frowned. “Er, Ms. Fey, a-are you filming all this?”

Maya grinned almost manically over the top of her phone. “Yup! Blame Trucy and Athena - they wanted to get your reaction on camera, and ooh, you did not disappoint.”

Apollo deflated even further. “...glad I could entertain you all.” He then straightened up, approaching Juniper and Vera first to chat with them amicably while the others fell back to talk amongst themselves. Trucy sidled up next to Klavier with the brightest grin she’d had in months.

“I still can’t believe he’s finally here,” Trucy admitted. “It was starting to feel like he was never coming back, you know?”

“He looks...surprisingly refreshed for someone who’s been sitting on a plane for Gott knows how long,” Klavier chuckled, smoothing out the creases in the front of his shirt. He then shot Trucy a soft smile. “You must be thrilled.”

“Ecstatic!” Trucy chirped, nodding enthusiastically. “There are some tricks Athena just refuses to help with, but I bet Apollo wouldn’t mind if I volunteered him for the job!”

“That’s not the only reason you missed him and you know it,” Klavier said gently.

Trucy’s cheeks reddened; she shot him a sheepish smile. “...I-I may have cried at the airport. It was a total mess, ‘cos me and Athena were crying, and then Apollo started crying, and there was tears and snot everywhere, a-and Daddy got it all on tape, too. He said it was like we were trying to set the record for world’s longest hug!”

“That’s very sweet, fräulein,” Klavier murmured. “I’m sure it was quite the scene.”

“What was quite the scene?” They startled at the sound of a new voice, turning to see Apollo standing before them. The first thing Klavier couldn’t help but think, stupidly enough, was that Apollo looked taller somehow - he seemed to be holding his head higher, his chest prouder, though it also helped that he was wearing a heavy pair of brown leather boots with a thick sole. Klavier’s heart thumped pathetically in his chest at the sight of Apollo’s warm, curious eyes, now fixed on his face in confusion.

“Your reunion, or so I hear,” Klavier said smoothly, taking a few steps closer. His eyes flickered down to Apollo’s arms, half-folded in front of his torso; he was still holding onto the hoodie. “And I see I’ve done a good job of keeping you warm while you were away, Herr Forehead.” He sensed Trucy, Ema, and Kay exchanging bewildered glances behind him.

“Don’t flatter yourself, I got some pretty nice handmade blankets in Khura’in,” Apollo chuckled, lifting a hand to run his fingers through his unstyled hair. Klavier was more used to seeing it without gel than with it at this point, given how most of their video calls had taken place during Apollo’s evenings. “But, uh...thanks. You sure you don’t want it back?”

“Ah, nein, it’s all yours now,” Klavier replied. “But if you’re in need of more clothes that aren’t from the children’s section, I’d be more than happy to provide.”

Apollo snorted, shaking his head. “You’re such a dick.” Then, to just about everyone’s surprise, he took the last few steps to close the gap between them and wrapped his arms around Klavier, burying his face against Klavier’s shoulder with a contented sigh. “...it’s good to see you, Gavin.”

Klavier stood still for a moment, stunned, before returning the hug, holding him tighter than either of them expected, resting his chin on top of Apollo’s head. He smelled faintly of fruit and dirt and sweat, though Klavier didn’t mind one bit. “Ich habe dich vermisst,” he mumbled into Apollo’s hair, letting out a relieved exhale. “I’m glad you’re back.”

A little over an hour later, their rather large group of people - made even larger with the addition of Edgeworth and Simon, who had been held up in a work incident that, from the sound of it, was entirely Payne’s fault - found themselves at an all-you-can-eat sushi restaurant, arguing over whether to order more salmon or more unagi while they drank beer, or in Trucy and Pearl’s case, soda. Their table was crowded, to be sure, and it was definitely the loudest in the entire restaurant, but with Edgeworth footing the bill, insisting no expense be spared, their servers didn’t seem to mind too much.

“God, you’re obvious.” Klavier turned to see Ema pointing her chopsticks at him rather threateningly. “Y’know, if you wanted to sit with Apollo, you should’ve just said so instead of sitting here and staring at him like a pining Austen heroine.”

“You really should be careful with those,” Klavier commented, gently pushing her hand away. “And it’s fine, he obviously wants to sit with Trucy and Athena. We have time to chat later, ja?”

Sighing, Ema turned back to her plate, stuffing a piece of tamago into her mouth in the most irritated manner Klavier had ever seen someone eat. “I don’t even know why I’m bothering,” she said, taking a generous gulp of her beer. “Look, Gavin, I - you know I was there, on the other end of things. I saw how...how happy he looked after your phone calls, whenever you sent him a text...all I’m saying is, sitting around and doing nothing like you did before? You really think that’s gonna work?”

“The last thing he needs is for me to bother him while he’s still settling in,” Klavier said diplomatically. “Like I said, we’ll have time to talk...later. Let him breathe, bitte. He literally just got here.”

Ema’s mouth twisted. “I really don’t get you sometimes.” She seemed to be talking more to herself than to Klavier now. “Like, I’m trying to imagine some world in which I don’t tell Kay how I feel about her, and...I can’t do it. It’s physically, emotionally, scientifically impossible. My entire life would be different, you know?”

“With you and Kay, you knew the feeling was mutual from the start, ja?” Klavier glanced across the table, where Apollo was cracking up over some joke Athena had just told. “As for me...I still can’t be sure. Even with what you just said, it’s no guarantee. And I think, for the time being, we’re...we’re glücklich this way. We’re friends. Close friends, even.”

“He talked to you more than everyone else combined,” Ema reminded him. “I only managed to talk to Kay maybe twice a week if we were lucky.” Kay leaned around Ema to nod affirmatively in Klavier’s direction, a stray udon noodle hanging from her mouth. “But whatever, I’m really only telling you for Apollo’s sake. If this was just about you, I guarantee I wouldn’t care.”

“Sure, fräulein, whatever you say,” Klavier chuckled. “So, you were saying something earlier about apartments - ”

“Hey, Gavin.” Once again, Klavier nearly gave himself whiplash at the sound of Apollo’s voice; he wasn’t sure when Apollo had gotten out of his seat and come to their side of the table, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. “Sorry to interrupt, it’s just - can I talk to you for a sec? Outside, maybe?”

“Er - ja, sure.” Klavier shot Ema an apologetic smile, though she’d already gone back to stealing pieces of ginger off of Kay’s plate. He then followed Apollo through the restaurant and out the front door, the two of them coming to a stop on the sidewalk. “What’s this all about, then?”

“Nothing, I just - I needed some air,” Apollo admitted, taking a generous deep breath. “Don’t get me wrong, I-I’m glad to see everyone again, but it’s a little...crowded back there. And loud.”

“Very true,” Klavier agreed, leaning against the exterior wall. “So...I’m surprised you’re still standing. Aren’t you exhausted?”

“Ridiculously so,” Apollo chuckled. “I’m sure I’ll crash in like, a few hours. Mr. Wright’s couch could be a literal rock, and I’ll still be out cold for the next...I dunno, week? Month?”

“You mentioned something about getting an apartment in your old building, ja?” Klavier mused. “When’s that happening?”

“I move in next week...if I’m awake by then, that is,” Apollo added dryly. He then smirked. “You offering to help, Gavin?”

Klavier leaned in close, his own teasing smile playing on his lips. “If you want me, just let me know, Herr Forehead.” He couldn’t help but feel a little thrill go through him when Apollo’s pupils darkened considerably in response.

“I’ll, uh...I’ll keep that in mind,” Apollo replied, chewing his bottom lip thoughtfully. Klavier found himself momentarily distracted by the motion. “Hey, uh - what were you and Ema talking about before I cut in?”

Klavier paused for a little longer than he would've liked. “I...was asking her about her plans to find a new place with Kay. To be honest, I’m surprised it’s only happening now. They’ve been together for years, after all.”

“True, but...if it works for them, I guess,” Apollo shrugged. “Did you guys ever get around to playing laser tag?”

Klavier blinked. “Entschuldigung?”

“Before we left, remember?” Apollo said, biting back a laugh. “Ema told me to ask you if you wanted to do drinks or laser tag, so did you and Kay...y’know, hang out without us? Or have you been waiting for us to get back?”

“Ah, that,” Klavier said, laughing as well. “Nein, we never did get around to it, though we’ve had the occasional drink together. Remember that story I told you a few months ago, the one where she - ”

“ - where she got kicked out of the bar ‘cos she accidentally gave them a fake ID she’d been holding onto as evidence, yeah,” Apollo snorted, shaking his head. “Sounds like something that could literally happen to any of us.” He straightened up, taking a couple of steps back so he could clear his throat. “Anyway, we should hang out after I recover from my inevitable jetlag. Like, the four of us, I mean.”

“Er - right, ja, the four of us,” Klavier nodded, faltering slightly. Apollo looked at him questioningly but didn’t say anything, instead turning his gaze towards the street for a moment, watching the cars and the occasional motorcycle go by. Klavier supposed he was still getting used to all the noise again, or rather, the different kinds of noise. He’d heard the evening sounds of Khura’in through the phone many times, especially when Apollo went for a late-night walk and “brought” Klavier with him for company. It had been relatively peaceful, serene, in a way that California was decidedly not. “Apollo, I...do you want to…maybe we could...”

“Yeah?” Apollo looked up at him, a gentle smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

Klavier coughed. “...never mind. Maybe another time, when you’re not so tired, ja?”

“Oh.” Apollo frowned slightly. “Uh, sure.” He then brightened, gently nudging Klavier’s arm. “Hey, but maybe we can make a thing out of my move-in day, make it a casual housewarming hangout or whatever. You interested?”

“Always,” Klavier said softly, nudging him back. Grinning, Apollo wordlessly beckoned for Klavier to follow him back inside, back to their table. He didn’t need to glance in Ema’s direction to know she looked as disappointed in him as he felt.

_____

“Ach, Klavier. You’re pouting more than your cousin Ingrid, and she’s barely seven years old.”

Klavier looked up from his glass to shoot his father an apologetic grimace. “Sorry, Papa. It’s just - the timing is unfortunate, you know? Er, not that I don’t want to be here. Anja and her new bride look wunderschön, and it’s been so long since we’ve had a wedding in the family - ”

“Now you sound like your Uncle Oskar,” his father chuckled, clapping Klavier good-naturedly on the shoulder. The two of them were standing in what looked and felt like a fairytale, in a sea of blossoming flowers and sparkling lights on a beautiful, crisp Saturday morning. In the distance, Klavier could see his cousin - or was she a second cousin, or a cousin once removed, he could never remember - and her wife posing for their wedding photographer by the park gazebo, while everyone else not-so-patiently waited to be called over for group photographs. All of the younger ones were especially moody, especially the aforementioned Ingrid, who had fallen and scraped her knee mere minutes before the ceremony. The poor girl had refused to let anyone put a bandaid on her, electing to sulk in silent solitude on a park bench instead. “I know you wanted to be with your friends today, but...there will be other days, yes?”

“Ja, ja, ich weiß,” Klavier replied. “Today is Apollo’s little housewarming get-together, it would've been nice to be there. But still, I wouldn’t miss Anja’s wedding for the world.” He then swallowed, glancing down at his feet. “That is, that’s how I felt before we got here. But achtung, now I feel like a caged animal. After all this time, do they really think - ”

“Not one person here thinks you’re going the same way,” his father interjected sharply, his eyes fierce behind his wire-rimmed glasses. “You’re not him. You’re not. But their stares...unfortunately, I don’t think it can be helped.”

“The questions were so simple before,” Klavier muttered. “Remember when I came back for a couple of weeks, between legs of the Gavinners’ European tour, for cousin Leo’s wedding? All anyone wanted to know was - ‘ah, Klavier, how is your band doing? Are you still a prosecutor? When are you getting married?’. And now it’s - it’s ‘what’s going to happen to him now?’ and ‘what exactly is this dark age of the law everyone’s been talking about?’ and ‘did you know the whole time?’. It’s endless, ach.”

“Klavier - ”

“I didn’t ask for my life to revolve around his, okay?” Klavier managed to stop himself before he could shout; instead, his voice came out as a harsh whisper. Thankfully, no one else seemed to notice, carrying on with their conversations while they waited for the newlyweds to call on them. “So if people are going to continue to talk, to stare, then I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to see it. If I can’t have a normal conversation with my family members that aren’t you or Mama, then…” He shook his head; his hand was trembling, his champagne sloshing over the edge of his flute.

Sighing, his father squeezed Klavier’s shoulder a little firmer now. “...I can tell them you have a migraine if you’d like. Or how about a stomach bug? Though maybe a work emergency would sound a little more...dignified.”

Klavier let out a watery chuckle, clasping his hand over his father’s. “Danke, Papa, I appreciate it, but it’s fine. This is Anja’s day, not a day for me to whine and fuss. I can grin and bear it for her, ich verspreche. And I apologize for my...outburst.” His father shot him a sympathetic smile, then turned back to watch the happy couple while they waited for Klavier’s mother to return from the bathroom.

It was nearly two in the morning by the time Klavier collapsed face-first onto his bed, only to sit up in a panic for a moment, thinking he’d just smeared a full face of makeup onto his freshly-washed silk pillowcases, before remembering he’d managed to trudge his way through his skincare routine just moments ago. With a weary groan, he grabbed his phone and sent a quick text message; mere seconds later, his phone began to ring.

“Forehead? I didn’t actually expect you to be up.”

“Mik’s being a literal scaredy-cat about living in a new place, so I’m probably not gonna be able to sleep anytime soon,” Apollo said with a weary sigh. “So, how was the rest of the wedding? All the photos you sent looked incredible!”

“What can I say? Gavins have good taste,” Klavier replied, chuckling. He rolled onto his back, staring up at his ceiling. “It was...perfekt, the epitome of classic fairytale romance, really. The kind of wedding you see in children’s books, you know?”

“Sure.” Apollo’s voice was warm in Klavier’s ear. “Hey - you, uh, you okay? You sound...off.”

“Ja, ja, I’m just tired,” Klavier said, frowning slightly at his outstretched hand. Despite getting them done yesterday, his nails were already starting to chip. “How long did everyone end up staying for?”

“They left a little before midnight,” Apollo replied, yawning. “Trucy has a matinee show tomorrow - or today, I guess - or else she probably would’ve insisted on sleeping over. Would’ve been kinda nice, actually, i-it’s always a little weird being alone in a new place for the first time. Though I guess this makes up for it.”

“What makes up for it?” Klavier asked, confused.

Apollo snorted. “This phone call, you dork. It’s like last year all over again, except we’re finally in the same time zone now.”

“Ah - right,” Klavier said, letting out an awkward laugh. “Ja, this is nice, though...I assume we’re not making this a habit again, are we?”

“Nah, definitely not. But, y’know, every now and then for old time’s sake? I wouldn’t, uh, I wouldn’t mind it.” Klavier shivered. Apollo’s voice had dropped to a low murmur; it almost sounded as if he were in the room with him. Klavier remembered Apollo making a snarky comment or two whenever he caught a glimpse of Klavier’s apartment during their video calls, leaving him to wonder whether Apollo would ever want to see it for himself. “So, you wanna do something next week? I’m still on co-counsel duty until I’m ready to take my own cases again, so my schedule’s not too hectic.”

“What did you have in mind?” Klavier hummed.

“I’m up for whatever - er, within reason,” Apollo added. “It could, well. It could even be just you and me, if you want.”

Klavier’s mouth suddenly felt very dry. “...I think I’d like that, ja. Drinks, maybe? Friday?”

“Yeah, uh - ” Apollo cleared his throat. “ - yeah, sounds good. Text me the time and place whenever, okay? Though I guess we’re probably gonna see each other before then, so.”

“Definitely,” Klavier said quietly, sucking in a breath to stop himself from making a potentially embarrassing noise - a squeak of joy, maybe, or a nervous laugh; either one would be terrible. “Should I let you go, then? We didn’t usually talk this late, even when you were on the other side of the world.”

“Very true,” Apollo said, punctuating Klavier’s point by yawning again. “I think Mik’s finally settled down, anyway.” Then, he seemed to hesitate. “...you sure you’re good, Gavin?”

“Mir geht's gut,” Klavier promised. This time, it felt more like the truth. Though his quiet anger from earlier hadn’t quite dissipated, he was calmer now, more at ease. “Family events just take a lot out of me, that’s all. Inevitable, given how big my extended family is.”

Apollo fell silent for a moment. “Not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I, uh...I wouldn’t know.”

“I think it depends on the family,” Klavier admitted. This time, both of them went quiet, contemplating Klavier’s sentiment. “...anyway, let’s not carry on and ruin our sleep schedules, ja? Gute Nacht, Forehead.”

“G’night, Gavin,” Apollo said softly. “Talk to you tomorrow.” Despite the usual raspy quality of Apollo’s voice, not to mention how sharp it could get, Klavier found it immensely comforting at times, its warmth like a thick blanket - or, more accurately, an oversized hoodie. Mere minutes after they hung up, Klavier drifted off into a deep, restful sleep.

_____

Friday, it seemed, was not meant to be. Much to Klavier’s quiet disappointment - though obviously, he understood, given the circumstances - Apollo had to cancel their plans after getting some truly life-changing news.

“I-I don’t even know where to begin,” Apollo had stammered on the phone, sounding as if he were on the verge of tears. “I - she’s my - a-and her eyes - sh-she came to see us, me a-and - ”

“Slow down, Apollo, slow down,” Klavier had said gently. “What’s going on? What happened?”

Apollo had taken a big, shuddering inhale. Then, he spoke again. “...Trucy is my little sister...a-and Lamiroir is...she’s...she’s...she’s Thalassa Gramarye. Our mother.”

The news traveled quickly throughout their social circle; naturally, it was Trucy who told everyone else, while Apollo still seemed to be reeling in shock. No one seemed to know what to say, not with everything they knew about the twists and turns and tragedies of their respective family histories. A week passed, then another, and another, as the two Gramarye siblings took some time off to reunite with their mother. Klavier dropped by the Wright Anything Agency every so often, hoping to see how they were doing, only to find just Phoenix and Athena there.

“Apollo almost punched me...again,” Phoenix had said quietly. If it wasn't for the seriousness of his expression, Klavier would've asked about the first time. “It’s because I knew. I knew a long time ago. And Trucy, she can’t seem to decide whether she’s upset with me or not. Can’t say I blame her, though Thalassa and I had our reasons.”

“I’m sure you did, Herr Wright,” Klavier had replied sincerely, though he didn’t push further. After all, it wasn’t his family drama this time, and as far as he was concerned, knowing what their reasons were wouldn’t have changed a thing.

Phoenix had then paused. “She told me she talked to you, by the way. Trucy, that is.” He let out a hollow laugh. “Even when she didn’t know, it was like...like she already knew. But I shouldn’t be surprised, not with her. Never with her.” Clearing his throat, he shot Klavier a gentle, genuine smile. “Thanks for being there for her, Prosecutor Gavin. I really appreciate it.”

“Of course,” Klavier had promised. “Herr Wright, before I go, I really should say something - ”

“If you’re about to do what I think you’re about to do...there’s no need,” Phoenix had interrupted, though not unkindly. “I’ve said it a few times, but I’ll say it again. Let’s put the past behind us, alright?”

Klavier had been taken aback. “...if you’re sure, then...ja, I hear you.”

Almost four weeks after Thalassa returned to her children’s lives, Klavier finally saw Apollo again, during a brief one-day trial. Once Apollo got his client acquitted, the two of them took a moment to sit on the courthouse steps together in stilted silence. “How is she?” Klavier asked. “How are you?”

“She’s…” Apollo sucked his breath in between his teeth. “...she’s still figuring things out. Remembering stuff. Trying to, uh...trying to learn how to be a mom to two adult children who...who grew up without her. And I dunno if it’s harder for me, o-or for Trucy, because I accepted my whole life that...that my mom just wasn’t around. But Trucy lost her. She knew her, loved her, lost her...and now she’s back. Not that it’s a competition, it’s just…” He managed to give Klavier a small smile. “We’ll be fine. It’s just weird and confusing a-and...but we’re fine. Sorry I’ve been so - ”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Klavier said, gently nudging him. “So, are you going to see her again today?”

“Yeah, we’re gonna drop by for dinner tonight,” Apollo replied. “We’ll hang out again soon, I swear.”

“Don’t worry about me, Forehead. Take care of yourself first, ja?” Klavier chuckled, patting Apollo’s knee. “Anyway, I should get going before the paparazzi catch wind of me. Auf Wiedersehen, baby. Have a good time tonight.” As he was leaving, he took a moment to watch Apollo walk over to the courthouse bike rack to join Trucy, who was patiently waiting for him. The moment she spotted him, she flung her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in for a hug, as if they’d been apart for years and not mere minutes.

The days continued to go by without them seeing much of each other, though they did continue to text on a regular basis, even having the occasional late-night phone call or two. Klavier also managed to chat with Trucy when he dropped by the agency one afternoon in the hopes that she would be there.

“I’m okay,” Trucy had told him. “We’re still getting used to it, but it’s definitely one of the best surprises I’ve ever had! I’ve been saying this whole time that Polly’s like a little big brother to me, and now…”

“And now it’s true,” Klavier had remarked, laughing. “I’m happy for all of you, fräulein, truly. And thinking back...what a strange family reunion. All because I invited her to perform with the Gavinners. Er, not to make this about me, of course.”

“Of course,” Trucy had echoed, giggling as well. “You would never do that.”

Klavier had rolled his eyes good-naturedly, which only served to make her laugh even harder. His expression then sobered. “Have you told either of them about...what you told me and Herr Wright?”

“Huh?...o-oh. That.” Trucy had fiddled with the ends of her cape, eyes fixated on the toes of her boots. “No, n-not yet. It’s too early. We only just discovered the truth, why would I ruin that with my silly problems?”

“They’re not silly at all,” Klavier had reassured her. “They’re...I know a little something about family legacy. Carrying a name that belongs to someone else. Talk to them about it when the time is right, ja?”

“I know, I know,” Trucy had mumbled, her voice small. She then perked up, plastering on a false smile that Klavier was all too familiar with. “You should join us someday, Prosecutor Gavin! I’m sure she’d like to see you again, and Polly’s been dying to spend more time with you.”

Klavier felt warm. “Really? Did he say that?”

“Well, not in so many words,” Trucy had said sheepishly. “But we’ve been so busy with Mom lately that neither of us has really had time to hang out with people other than Daddy and Athena, y’know? So...maybe we could do another group dinner or something.”

And so, a little over a month and a half after their canceled plans, Trucy managed to get a smaller group of people together - her, Apollo, Athena, Klavier, Simon, Pearl, Juniper, Ema, and Kay, to be exact - for a rather chaotic visit to their nearest night market. Considering how narrow the pathways were, how packed the food stalls could be, it was hard for them to move as a collective through the crowds.

“We might have an easier time if we split up,” Apollo suggested. “And, uh, as a bonus, people would stop glaring at us for holding up literally every line.” And so, everyone divided themselves into pairs - or a trio, in Athena, Simon, and Juniper’s case - and went on their way.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go with Trucy?” Klavier asked once he and Apollo were in line for freshly-made takoyaki.

“Listen, and I say this with love, but I’ve been looking forward to hanging out with someone who isn’t Trucy for once,” Apollo said, chuckling. “Besides, we never got around to getting drinks. So let me pay for, like, a milk tea or something.”

“That’s hardly necessary, but danke,” Klavier said, smiling easily. “So, has it finally sunk in yet? Your newfound big brother status, that is.”

“Thankfully, not that kind of big brother,” Apollo said dryly. “Honestly, it hasn’t been that different. Me and Trucy have always looked out for each other, and...I dunno. We got attached pretty quickly, almost like we, uh...like we knew somehow. Like everything about our relationship made even more sense than before.” He then let out a soft laugh, shaking his head. “Never mind, that probably sounds really stupid - ”

“Nein, not at all,” Klavier murmured sympathetically.

“I don’t believe in fate or whatever, but...I couldn’t ask for a better sister,” Apollo admitted, his expression softening. “Though to be fair, I can ask said sister to stop dragging me on stage with her. I almost lost my eyebrows more than once, and once is already one time too many!”

“You did say better, not perfect,” Klavier teased, laughing. “So, what do you want to do tonight? Are we just stuffing our faces, or did you want to walk around? That bouncy castle looks sehr interessant.”

“Yeah, sure, if we wanna get kicked out,” Apollo snorted. “And I’m not sure yet, I was just gonna go with whatever everyone else wanted. When I used to come here all the time with...with…” His face fell. “Um. You know. He was so eager to try everything, I-I just let him drag me around. Literally.” Klavier looked away for a moment, unsure of what to say. Apollo then tugged on his sleeve so he would turn back, a small smile on his face. “Hey, c’mon. I’m the one who made it weird, don’t you make it weird, too.”

Klavier chuckled, placing his hand over Apollo’s and squeezing. “Why don’t you lead for a change? I mean it, Forehead, what do you want to do tonight?”

“Honestly? I just wanna eat and drink and laugh at the terrible knock-off merchandise with, uh. With you.” Apollo awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. Before Klavier could respond, they’d reached the front of the line; Apollo turned to the merchant with a polite smile. “Hi, can we get one order of takoyaki, please? And can we get the sauces on the side?”

“Sure, that’ll be seven dollars,” the merchant replied. “Is this just for you, or are you sharing with your boyfriend?”

Apollo blinked. “Er, s-sorry?”

“I need to know how many toothpicks to give you,” the merchant said, shooting Apollo a strange look.

“I, uh…” Apollo cleared his throat. Klavier looked at him curiously, unsure if Apollo’s reaction was promising or worrying. “Yeah, we’re sharing.”

Once they received their order, they went to stand a little ways away from the crowd to eat and people-watch in companionable silence. Klavier stole the occasional glance in Apollo’s direction every so often, admiring how good he looked in a bucket hat, denim cutoffs, and of course, the hoodie he’d given him. Other than his signature red suit vest, it seemed to be the item of clothing he wore the most these days. Klavier wondered if it still smelled of his cologne, the cologne that Apollo claimed to hate.

“Gavin?” Apollo raised an eyebrow at him. “Can I, um...can I help you?”

“Ah - entschuldigung, I didn’t mean to stare,” Klavier said, ducking his head in embarrassment. “It just surprises me whenever you wear that, you know? Surely, you have other hoodies.”

“I’ve just gotten used to it, I guess,” Apollo shrugged. “And it’s weird, ‘cos it’s yours, but now I mostly associate it with Khura’in. Like, whenever I went for walks before or after work, this was usually the first thing I grabbed, even when it was too warm for me to wear. Something to hold onto, I s’pose.” His eyes suddenly lit up. “Hey - new idea!”

Klavier chuckled at his sudden enthusiasm. “Oh? What’s that?”

“Over there,” Apollo said, gesturing towards the river running alongside the night market. Other market patrons were there as well, eating, talking, and admiring the city skyline. “It’s definitely no Khura’inese scenery, but we could also grab some food and go for a walk, get away from the main crowd and all that.”

“I’d like that,” Klavier replied, popping the last piece of takoyaki into his mouth. “What should we get next, then?”

After much deliberation, the two of them settled on milk tea and crepes, then began walking alongside the river, chatting amicably about nothing in particular while occasionally spotting their friends in the distance. They saw Trucy and Pearl sharing a giant bowl of shaved ice, Ema and Kay marveling at all of the bags for sale - Ema had once mentioned she needed a new one to fit her entire forensics kit - while Athena and Simon were, for some reason, arm-wrestling. Juniper was supervising them with a hint of apprehension in her eyes; Athena appeared to be winning.

As they passed by people going in the opposite direction, Klavier lowered the brim of his cap over his eyes. He felt somewhat nervous, even paranoid, every single time someone looked at him for a little too long. “Not too interested in signing autographs or taking selfies, huh?” Apollo teased when it happened for the fifth time in under twenty minutes. “Nah, I get it. I’m sure it gets pretty exhausting after a while.”

“It’s...it’s not fans I’m worried about,” Klavier confessed, ducking his head once more. “It’s...the opposite, really.”

“Huh?” Apollo’s eyes then widened. “Oh, you mean...o-oh. Has that been happening a lot lately, or…?”

“Just...more than it should,” Klavier said quietly, so quietly that Apollo almost couldn’t hear him over the noise of the night market. “Anyway, I’d rather not get into it. Tell me more about your mother, you said the other day that her memories were coming back to her, ja?”

Apollo eyed him worriedly, but decided not to comment. “Yeah, yeah, uh - mostly stuff about Trucy, and Trucy’s dad, and her time with the troupe. Not so much the before, the me and...and my dad part. It was...I tried asking her, y’know, basic stuff about him. Like what his voice sounded like, what kind of person he was...but it’s all bits and pieces for her. Little tiny things, not significant details. She remembered that he didn’t like spinach and he had a pair of lucky socks, but she wasn’t sure if my voice sounded anything like his, or how they picked my name, or what their first date was. Stuff like that.” He visibly swallowed.

“I’m sure that must have been frustrating for both of you,” Klavier said, humming in sympathy.

“I don’t know what to feel sometimes.” An odd look crossed Apollo’s face then, like he wasn’t sure where his words had come from, but he seemed determined to keep going. “Obviously, I-I’m happy to have her in my life, and to see her doing so well after what she went through, but...it’s not like I had this...this attachment to my dad that she did. And sure, I wanna know more about him, but sometimes, i-it feels like I’m doing it more for her than for me. But that makes me sound like a shitty person, like I-I don’t care about him. Like he doesn’t mean anything to me.”

Klavier went silent for a moment, thinking. It was hard to concentrate when he could hear Apollo’s breath growing increasingly erratic; he so desperately wanted to wrap him up in a hug, though he wasn’t sure if Apollo would want him to. “If you ask me, you sound like a good person who cares about his mother,” he finally said after some time. “And even if your biological father isn’t as important to you as he was to her, he still means something to you. You know that.”

“Do I?” Apollo chuckled wetly, wiping his damp eyes with the sleeve hem of his hoodie. “And Trucy - god, Trucy, sh-she’s…”

“What about her?” Klavier asked, frowning.

“It’s not like either of us likes to think about it, but…” Apollo chewed his bottom lip. “If something happened to Mom, then...well. It’s not like it’s new to us...losing people. When do I get to the point where I can accept it? Where I know...I-I can’t do anything to stop it?” He let out another horrible laugh. “Shit, that sounded so heartless. Th-that’s not what I meant, I - ”

“I know what you meant,” Klavier promised somewhat sadly. “Have you talked to her about it? Or...either of them, really.”

“No, but it...it’s why Trucy wants us to hang out practically every day.” Apollo stopped for a moment, turning to watch Trucy, who was currently shoveling huge spoonfuls of shaved ice and red bean into her mouth, with a fond smile. “She won’t say it, but I-I know her. I can tell what she’s thinking. Even before we found out we were siblings, she seemed...kinda worried that I was gonna leave again. Or that I wasn’t gonna come back in the first place, even when I said I would.”

“Maybe it’s time you have that conversation,” Klavier suggested. “It won’t be a pleasant conversation, but it seems...necessary, ja?”

Apollo exhaled shakily. “Yeah, I know, I know. It’s just...there’s always something. A trial o-or a show or whatever. But, uh, honestly? I just don’t like thinking about it. Like, ever.”

“I don’t blame you,” Klavier admitted, rubbing Apollo’s arm reassuringly. “I wouldn’t want to open myself up to that kind of personal scrutiny, either.” He paused. “I...gave Trucy some similar advice a while back, you know. Advice that I should’ve taken myself, should still be taking myself, but...it’s like they say. Easier said than done.”

“Easier said than done,” Apollo echoed in agreement, sighing.

Another minute or two passed in silence, accompanied by the noisy chatter and whistling winds around them. Apollo seemed to be thinking intensely about something, but with everything they’d talked about, not just now, but over the past year, Klavier couldn’t even begin to guess what it was. Then, he lifted his head to look Klavier right in the eye. “Why did you call me in Khura’in, that first time?”

Klavier’s heart skipped a beat. “...why does it matter?”

“Because...because you’re one of my favorite people, too.” Apollo’s cheeks reddened, though he was clearly trying his best to ignore it. “And I - I wanna know if something happened that day. If...something happened to you.”

“Nothing happened to me,” Klavier said smoothly, trying not to let his dizzying joy at Apollo’s words show. “Trucy suggested I call you sometime, that’s all. Simple as that.”

Apollo’s right hand instantly went to his left wrist. “But that’s not all there is to it, is it?”

“Is this a cross-examination now?” Klavier asked, letting out an uneasy laugh. He turned on his heel and continued to walk. “You’re going to find my tell, are you? My nervous habit? It’s a nice night, Forehead, let’s not spoil it.”

“I just wanna understand you, Klavier.” Klavier stopped dead in his tracks; he could feel Apollo’s eyes on his back. “Look, if it’s such a big secret, or if you just don’t wanna tell me, I-I’ll shut up about it already. But I just - I worry about you sometimes. You’re always so...so calm. And helpful, a-and sweet, and...I get what it’s like to put on a brave face. To pretend that everything’s the way it should be. That’s all I’m saying. So if it really was nothing, then I’ll drop it, okay? I’ll let it go, and move - ”

“I was sitting in my childhood bedroom.” Now he felt lightheaded for a different reason; Klavier dropped his gaze, his body swaying despite the fact he was standing perfectly still. Apollo quickly stepped around him so they were face-to-face, tucking his empty cup under his arm so he could hold Klavier’s shoulders, his still-wet eyes shining with concern. “I was sitting on my bed, staring at the wall, and suddenly, I-I wanted to talk to the one person in the entire world who - who doesn’t want something from me. Who doesn’t want to ask for my autograph, or my connections, or my help, or...or about Kristoph. Who just wants to talk to me for - for - for me.” Before he could stop himself, his eyes were suddenly filling with tears. Klavier clapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from crying out.

Apollo let out a stifled noise. “Ah - Klavier!”

“Mama, a-and Papa, I - they say they can’t - that it - b-but they still mourn him l-like he’s already - already gone,” Klavier managed to say between short, gasping breaths, his heartbeat pounding alarmingly fast in his ears. He desperately clutched at his chest, but he was unable to find his grip. The ground, his surroundings, they all seemed to be spinning around him. “And I-I want to say - ‘I’m still here, y-you have me’ - and they know, but th-they - ”

“Breathe, Klavier, breathe,” Apollo urged. “Look at me, watch me, okay? In...out...in...”

Klavier dropped his cup entirely, desperately clinging onto Apollo’s shoulders, anticipating that his knees were about to give out beneath him. He swallowed a few generous lungfuls of air, trying not to cough or exhale directly in Apollo’s face, all while his eyes were fixated on Apollo’s - large, round, expressive to a fault. The color of melted chocolate, usually, though in the moonlight, more akin to the color of ink. “I’m okay,” Klavier whispered, though tears were still rolling down his cheeks. “Sorry, I - ”

“Don’t apologize,” Apollo said firmly. “I’m sorry, okay? I didn’t mean to - we don’t - we don’t have to talk about this.”

“Nein, I - I want to tell you.” Klavier cleared his throat, wiping his face on his sleeve; he knew he looked like a mess, he knew that they were in public, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. “Bitte, will you let me?”

“Yeah, o-of course.” Now it was Apollo's turn to rub his arm comfortingly. “But, uh, I think we should sit. There’s a bench over there, are you good to move?”

Once they managed to sit down, both of them visibly shaking, Apollo placed a trembling hand on Klavier’s knee, nodding for him to try again. “I was trying to say that - that I’ve always been our parents’ favorite. I was more outgoing, more curious, and I think they especially liked that about me.” Klavier’s breath was still shallow; he paused to take another deep, measured breath. “So when I say that...that I feel responsible somehow...that I played a part in his madness, his cruelty...I-I’m not just talking about Zak Gramarye’s trial.”

“You don’t mean…” Apollo sucked in a breath of his own. “You think he resented you, don’t you?”

“I think it’s more like...he never liked getting ignored, passed over, for someone else. For me, for Herr Wright…” Klavier swallowed thickly. “And then I go home to my parents, a-and they promise me it’s not my fault, that I was merely a pawn, but - but I can tell that, deep down, they miss him. They mourn him, like he’s no longer here. They're packing his things, cleaning out his room...trying to pretend he never existed, because it’s easier than living with the truth. But they slip sometimes. All the time, really. Because, at the end of the day...he still means something to them. To me.”

“Klavier,” Apollo said softly, squeezing Klavier’s knee. He seemed unsure of what to say.

“I can try all I want, but there’s no pretending for me,” Klavier continued bitterly, his voice growing stronger, louder. “Do reporters want to ask about my success as a prosecutor or my music career? Nein, they want to ask how it felt to prosecute my own brother and my own bandmate. Do my coworkers want to know how my weekend was or if I’m free to hang out? Nein, they only ask how I’m feeling when I seem less than perfect because it makes them uncomfortable. When I go to family gatherings, do they tease me about my love life or ask me how work is going? Nein, they want to know if he and I really are cut from the same cloth. No one - no one ever really wants to ask me about me. Just me.”

“Klavier - ”

“And I know they try,” Klavier sighed. “And I don’t mean to be...I’m trying not to ask for much. But how do I really know, that when Herr Edgeworth tells me I’m doing a good job, that I really am doing a good job? If Herr Blackquill tells me I seem to be happier these days, does he mean it, o-or is he telling me what he knows I want to hear?” He paused. “How do I...do I trust any of my family members - nein, how do I trust my own judgment...when the one person I grew up with...when he...when the people I-I thought I knew turned out to be...” He shook his head, unable to finish his sentence.

“For what it’s worth...you know I'm in your corner, yeah?” Apollo offered. “You know I won't...that I don't bullshit you. But still, I...I’m so sorry, that’s...that’s terrible. So when you texted me after your cousin’s wedding...”

Klavier nodded resignedly. “Ja, exactly. I don’t...it feels like…” He felt tears forming in his eyes again; he quickly wiped them away before they could fall. “...never mind, it’s stupid. It’s childish, i-it’s selfish, I - ”

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” Apollo gave him a watery, encouraging smile. “What is it?”

Klavier went silent for what felt like hours, his mind racing to find the precise words he wanted to say. “...it feels like I will always care more about someone else than they will ever care about me.”

Another lengthy pause soon followed, one that made Klavier unbearably nervous. For once, Apollo’s usually expressive face was completely inscrutable. Then, Apollo practically threw himself at Klavier, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him in close. “Klavier,” he repeated for what seemed like the thousandth time, his voice warm and urgent in Klavier’s ear. “People care about you, okay? You gotta know that. I-I promise, there are people out there who - who care about you more than you think. Like...like me.”

Klavier let out a sobbing, incredulous laugh. “Achtung, Apollo...you do know that I’m in love with you, right?”

Apollo went still. He stared at him, wide-eyed. “You...you are?”

“You mean you really didn’t know?” Klavier could only laugh again, more hopelessly this time; his mouth seemed to be moving faster than his brain. While it usually never happened to him, it seemed like Apollo brought out his honesty more easily than most. He wasn’t sure if that impressed him or terrified him. “With everything that’s been happening between us, you didn’t think - ”

“I-I knew we were getting closer, th-that we were gonna go for drinks, but...I-I thought this was, like. A recent thing for you,” Apollo stammered, still staring at him disbelievingly.

“A recent thing? You mean like your feelings...for me?” Klavier was almost afraid to ask.

“What? No, I - ” Apollo suddenly seemed to realize he still had his arms loosely draped around Klavier’s midsection. He yanked them back like he’d been burned, his cheeks flushed pink. “I mean, yes, yes, d-definitely recent - ”

“Apollo, bitte.” Klavier took Apollo’s hands in his, gently running his thumbs across Apollo’s knuckles. “I know you don’t owe me your honesty, but I’d like to think that after everything I just said, you could afford me just a little bit of it.”

Apollo fell silent, considering. Klavier held his breath in anticipation, heart thumping wildly against his ribcage. Then, Apollo withdrew one hand from Klavier’s grasp, instead lifting it to cup Klavier’s jaw. His eyes were wet once more, his smile impossibly soft. “I hate that you feel like you have to ask for someone else to be honest to you...least of all me,” Apollo murmured. “I-I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine - ”

“But it isn’t!” Apollo interrupted fiercely. “You shouldn’t have to ask for basic decency, especially from someone who’s supposed to care about you. Because - ‘cos god, Klavier, you - you’re - I love you, okay?” Klavier’s mouth fell open, stunned, but no words came out. “I love you and your...your…” Apollo inhaled yet again, taking a moment to think carefully. “You always surprise me, y’know. With how...willing you are to be proven wrong. How open you are to changing your mind. And even though you’re one of the most self-important people I’ve ever met...you still manage to be pretty selfless when it comes down to it. So selfless, that...that...that it worries me sometimes.”

“Worries...you?” Klavier asked, his voice small.

Apollo shot him a shaky smile. “Whether you’re looking out for yourself.”

“I think the last thing anyone could accuse me of is not making something about me,” Klavier said, chuckling wetly. “Take now, for example. We were having such a nice night, until - ”

“ - until you finally got the chance to say what you’ve been wanting to say,” Apollo finished for him. “Just like...like I did. Just now.”

Klavier’s eyes flitted across Apollo’s face, his gaze traveling from his tearful eyes to his parted lips, trying to find a sign, a warning that there was something there other than complete sincerity. When he found nothing, he cracked a grin of his own. “You really love me?”

In lieu of answering, Apollo moved closer, his forehead resting against Klavier’s, their noses barely brushing. Klavier’s breath hitched. Then, Apollo closed the gap between them, kissing him so tenderly, so carefully, that he felt a pleasant shiver go up his spine. Finally. Klavier melted right into him, every muscle in his body seemingly relaxing all at once; he released Apollo’s hand so he could wrap his arms around him, pulling him into his embrace. Apollo was so warm, Klavier thought, his skin surprisingly soft, his lips unsurprisingly rough, not that it lessened Klavier’s joy. Nothing else seemed to matter in that moment, not all the people walking by that could easily see them, not the fact that their friends could probably recognize them if they tried. When they reluctantly broke apart, they realized that they both had tears running down their faces.

“..shit.” Apollo let out a wet laugh, sniffling sharply. He reached into the pocket of his hoodie to pull out a packet of tissues, handing one to Klavier before attempting to take care of himself. “That was, uh - ”

“Perfect,” Klavier declared, his grin so wide, it threatened to split his face open.

“I was gonna say ‘gross’, but okay. Whatever you’re into, I guess,” Apollo teased, turning away momentarily to blow his nose. A comfortable silence fell over them as they took a moment to clean themselves up, to wipe their running noses and watery eyes. “Um, but - Klavier, are you okay? Because, well. That seemed like a lot.”

“Ja, I…” Klavier laughed disbelievingly. “...I feel incredible, actually. Like I’ve managed to...to let go of some of the things I’ve been carrying for a little too long. Even if I didn't do anything but drop them.” He then looked at Apollo. “What about you, liebe? We were talking about you, and then it became about me, and - ”

“That’s how conversations work, Klav,” Apollo reminded him. “And all that...I dunno, guilt, loneliness, whatever you wanna call it? That’s been going on for way too long. But for me, it’s...I-I’m still figuring some stuff out. Something I can deal with once I know, y’know?”

“If you’re sure. But...I’m here if you need me, ja? Always.” Klavier brushed a few loose strands of hair out of Apollo’s eyes, then leaned in to kiss him again. This particular kiss was thankfully less damp. “So, ah...what should we do now?”

“Well...I think all that crying made me dehydrated,” Apollo said half-jokingly. He stood, extending a hand in Klavier’s direction. “Will you finally let me pay for one of your drinks? Please?”

“I guess I can indulge you,” Klavier teased, taking Apollo’s hands and getting to his feet as well. Apollo rolled his eyes but pulled Klavier along nonetheless. Their fingers remained entangled, both of them holding on tight, even when they stepped back into the night market crowd.

_____

A few hours later, they found themselves in the elevator of Klavier’s apartment building, on the way up to his penthouse, grinning giddily at each other like lovesick teenagers. Naturally, the others had been suspicious when Apollo told them they were leaving together. Trucy, Athena, and Kay seemed ready to burst with questions, while Ema and Simon had merely watched them go with raised eyebrows. Still, no one said anything but their goodbyes, something both of them were grateful for.

“You look like you’re thinking really hard over there,” Apollo said, smirking. “You’re not changing your mind, are you?”

“Never,” Klavier replied instantly. Even though he knew Apollo was joking, he wanted to make it clear that he wasn’t. “Not when it comes to you.”

Apollo’s smile softened. “Good. That’s, uh...that’s good. Same here.”

After they’d washed up and settled in, the two of them collapsed onto Klavier’s bed, right on top of his duvet, comfortably exhausted from everything that had been said and done. Apollo was half-curled into Klavier’s side, yawning every so often while he sent off a few text messages, presumably to Trucy and their mother. Klavier had one hand in Apollo’s hair and the other loosely resting on Apollo’s hip, humming and tapping out a rhythm while he waited for Apollo to finish.

“Sorry,” Apollo said, briefly rolling over so he could set his phone down on the bedside table.

“Nein, nein, it’s okay,” Klavier replied. “I don’t know about you, but I’m wide awake. How am I supposed to fall asleep after a night like that, achtung.”

“Yeah, we definitely had, uh...we definitely had a moment back there.” Apollo sounded both embarrassed and pleased. “God, I hope no one saw us. I have zero interest in becoming a trending hashtag before our first date.”

“You don’t consider this our first date?” Klavier asked curiously.

“I prefer my first dates to be drama-free, thanks,” Apollo drawled. Still, his expression was relaxed, somewhat drowsy. “Though I think, in a way...we kinda needed that. Wish it hadn’t happened in public, but hey, we can’t exactly pick our battles.” At Klavier’s responding chuckle, he frowned slightly. “Klav? What is it?”

“Nothing, it’s just - mein Gott, I love you.” Klavier rested his forehead against Apollo’s, his smile warm and open. Apollo returned it with one of his own, his hands resting against Klavier’s chest, Klavier’s heartbeat steady beneath his fingertips. “I know we still have a lot to deal with, but...right now? I couldn’t care less. I’m just...I’m so happy.”

Grinning, Apollo shuffled closer, kissing him chastely. They exchanged slow, meandering kisses for a few minutes, fingers lightly pressed into each other’s sides, legs loosely tangled together. “...dork.”

“Your response is supposed to be ‘I love you, too’, liebe,” Klavier hinted, eliciting a delighted laugh from Apollo’s mouth. “But seriously, I mean it. I really do feel...free.”

“Good,” Apollo said affectionately, cupping Klavier’s face with both hands. “Look, I - I know all that stuff you’re feeling isn’t gonna magically go away, just like that, but...if you still need to hear it…” He then turned his head, his lips brushing against Klavier’s ear. “...it wasn’t your fault. It was his, all his. And people legitimately care about you for reasons that have nothing to do with him or your fame or their own motives. So try not to let anyone make you think otherwise, okay?” Klavier shivered. “And I love you, too. Dork.”

“Ach,” Klavier said, sniffling. “You’re going to make me cry again, baby. How dare you call me a dork.” Apollo burst into laughter once more, burying his face in the crook of Klavier’s neck with a satisfied hum. They went quiet for a little while longer, simply holding each other and enjoying the stillness of the night. “I do have...one last little worry, though.”

“Yeah?” Apollo ran his thumb across Klavier’s cheek. “What is it?”

“I...part of me is worried, that…” Klavier paused, taking a moment to choose his words carefully. “After everything we’ve been through...do you really think this is going to work? Or do you think that we just hope that it will?”

“No use in pretending like we know for sure,” Apollo said honestly. “There’s a million things that could go wrong, y’know? We could get into a really bad argument, we could have problems separating work from our personal lives - hell, we might be better off as friends…”

“Ever the optimist, aren’t you?” Klavier teased.

“Oh, hush.” Apollo kissed Klavier to silence him. The two of them became momentarily distracted, wrapped up in each other’s embrace once more. Klavier wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to let Apollo go in the morning, not when they’d both waited this long. “All I’m saying is, as long as we try, then…” Apollo’s kiss-bitten lips then stretched into a fond grin. “...I think we’re gonna do just fine.”

_____

a/n: Welcome to my seventh and final entry for Klapollo Week 2021! Continuity-wise, this is the third of seven fics, but again, there is no need to read the others to follow each fic on its own. However, this fic is best read after day five's, meet me halfway (across the sky), so I would recommend reading that one to fully understand the first half of this fic!

Y'all, I can't believe it's finally over! I feel like I've been working on these fics for ages (and I've fallen behind on others; we'll see if I end up getting two fics out in July like I originally planned), especially this one and day five's. Thank you to the lovelies who organized Klapollo Week, this was super fun to do! I got a little overambitious for sure, but I liked how they turned out. In doing this, I definitely learned that short(er) fics aren't really my thing; I had a good time writing them, but I'm not a concise writer, so I struggled with getting a good balance of plot and details for the fics that were under six thousand words. In fact, I low-key wanna write fuller versions of all of them 😅

If you missed any of the other days, I would love it if you checked them out! My personal favorites are the odd-numbered days, also known as the ones with angst. I'm thinking that sometime next year, I'll write a super long version of meet me halfway (across the sky) where Klavier eventually gets to be with Apollo in Khura'in. Knowing me, that thing will be a monster of fifty-thousand-word proportions. In the meantime, if you're interested in finding out what I'll be posting next, you can filter my fanfiction masterpost by "coming soon"!

Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed! Likes and reblogs would be much appreciated. Hoping you’re all safe and healthy and doing well ❤️

#KlapolloWeek2021 #klapollo #kyodoroki #klapollo fic #ace attorney #ace attorney fic #myfic #long post #y'all i'm so pleased with how this one turned out #thank you to everyone who read and commented and shared!! #my ao3 inbox is wild and i will be tackling that sometime this coming week

[kaiisenn]

Reiner Braun x Fem! Reader: Angst

It all happened to quick...

One moment your all coming back from saving Ymir, Krista, Bertholdt and your boyfriend Reiner. You just wanted to check up on your boyfriend, you didn't know how things would end.

"I'm the armored titan and he's the colossal titan" Reiner spoke out like it was nothing look at you and Eren with a strong gaze "you're just tired, aren't you?" Eren placed a hand onto Reiners shoulder inspecting his face for any signs of tiredness "Right, Bertholdt. You've been through hmmm t so much, it's making you crazy!" Turning his direction towards the said brunette "Yeah, Reiner come on making a joke like that isn't funny!" You spoke out, a thin layer of fearful sweat starting to coat your body "Y-Yeah, Reiner's just really tired" Bertholdt stuttered out, taking a step back away from them Eren spoke "Besides, If you were really the Armored Titian that wants to destroy humanity....why would you be asking me this in the first place? What did you think would happen? That I'd nod and say 'sure let's go?'" Reiner just stood there looking at the two of you with wide eyes and a open jaw "Oh right. That's right. What the hell was I thinking?" Reiner finally mumbled out "Have I really gone crazy?"

Taking a step toward him the big blonde you speak out "Reiner, come on let's go home. You obviously need some rest, so why don't we go back together?" Looking at him expectantly, with hopeful eyes. Hoping this was all a bad joke, that your precious Reiner wasn't actually a man killing titan wanting to wipe what's left of humanity.

In the harsh wind the flag that was held up by a skinny stick finally breaks. Jumping at the expectancy you and Eren look towards where the flag use to stand tall and proud. Even if it was beaten and torn. Sunshine breaking through the clouds sets the scenery for change "I see... that's it. I've been here too long for my own good." A serious Reiner looks down at the ground "Its been three long years... We were just kids... we didnt know anything. If only I never knew that there were people like this...I... wouldn't have become....such a half assed piece of shit!" Tears began to form in his eye, wanting to do nothing more than help the one you love you tried making your way over to Reiner. Hand making it's way to caress his cheek, but before you could get the change Reiner slapped it away pushing you back with such force your butt landed on the ground. "It's too late now.... I don't know what's right anymore. But the only choice for me now.... is to face the consequences of my actions...and as a warrior...fulfill my duty to the bitter end!" Taking his arm out of the makeshift sleeve Krista made for him.

Showing his wounded arm starting to heal itself. Bertholdt coming to his side "Reiner! Are we doing it?! Now?! Right here?!" Screaming out just in case his friend was too absorbed in his own thoughts to hear him "yeah.. we settle this.. right here, right now!" Reiner replied back simply, running towards the edge of the wall. Before he could even jump Mikasa came to put an end to things, using her ODM gear to articulate her way to cut his hand off as well as cut his other arm badly. Making her way to Bertholdt she cut at his throat trying to kill him "EREN, Y/N. RUN!" she screamed out standing over Bertholdt with her blade ready "MIKASA WATCH OUT!!" You scream from your position on the ground, warning her about her other enemy. It was too late, he got elbowed off of Bertholdt by Reiner and off the wall, thankfully she had her ODM gear to grapple onto the side of the wall before the was too far away from them "Bertholdt!" Reiner screamed out indicating for his friend to transform "REINER!" reaching your hand out to try to stop your lover from making this mistake, hearing the others telling you two to run from them..

But it was too late, the impact and pressure from both of their transformations was blowing you all away from them, before you could get too far the armored titan took ahold of you..

Waking up in high in a tree was not the best or most expected way, sitting up way to fast a headache came over you. Holding your head for a few seconds you look up to see a legless and armless Ymir sitting right infront of you, and behind her a passed out Eren with no limbs at all "Oh my lord! Are you two alright!?" You asked reaching out to them "I mean, I've clearly been in better shape but I'm working on it. You on the other hand, you're not looking too hot, Y/n" A sarcastic Ymir comments sending you a smirk "Me-? I fell kin-" you cut yourself off turning your focus onto the men standing on the other tree, acting all high and mighty "Good Morning, Princess" Reiner spoke out, thick arms crossed over his chest "Reiner-!" You stand up too quickly almost losing your balence until Ymir grabs you by the ankle to keep you steady, you shoot you a thankful smile as she nods in return. Turning your rage to your boyfriend you scream out "Reiner, what the hell is going on?!" Fist clenching at your sides "What's going on our little Y/n, is that Reiner and Bertholdt are little traitors" eyes widening at the freckled brunettes statement "Ymir, come on stop joking this is Reiner and Bertholdt were talk-" suddenly the rush of memories fill your brain up as you think about what happened before you woke up here "Y/n, I'm sorry to tell you this but-" "YOU'RE SORRY?! HOW CAN YOU BE SORRY YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE YOU KILLED AND FOR WHAT?? JUST CAUSE?! IT WAS YOU THAT DAY WALL MARIA WAS BREACHED!!"

"Hey, Y/n. What's got you so down?" Reiner comes walking up to you when you were alone at dinner "Ah nothing, I guess I was lost in my own head." You dryly chuckle and look to the side to keep your gaze away from his intruding eyes "Come on, I'm sure talking about it would help." Looking into his eyes you could see how sincere he was about wanting to listen and help you with whatever you were going through "I guess, if it's not too much of a burden on you." Grabbing your hands into his much bigger ones Reiner took your hands and led them to his lips giving them a sweet kiss "I'd do anything for you, Y/n"

At the time it was a sweet gesture, not only showing his love and loyalty to you but giving you a new reason to keep on pushing in this life. Now it's a bittersweet memory, thoughts of how he betrayed you swarming your mind, making you feel dizzy "my family... I told you how they were killed that day, I told you how when the titans breached the wall a huge chunk of rock trapped them in the house, and the only thing I could do was watch as my friends and family were eaten right infront of my eyes.... that day I lost everything, I had to steal to get food, I wore the same clothes every single day, my life was a living hell after that day and the only reason all that happened....Was because of you!" Erratic breathing and Ymir's tight hold on your ankle was your only thing connecting you to the real world "I know I didn't have it the worst, there is definitely people who have it worse than me. But to know all this time I've been living in a imagined paradise with the same person responsible for my family's death-" Clasping your hand over your mouth to stop any liquid from spilling out , squatting on the thick branch feeling Ymirs hand caress gentle circles on your back "Do you find some sick joke in all of this?! You bastard!! Do you not have any remorse for the people you've killed?! Men, Women, Children?!!" Tears spilling out of your eyes like a waterfall "You must be real happy with yourself knowing you have mankind hanging off of a thread!" Words just came spilling out of your mouth, the hatred for the titans that killed your life finally being released after years and years of keeping it in "I had no choice!!" Reiner shut you up before you could get another word in "how laughable-" you gave a raspy, dry chuckle to his defensiveness

"Y/n, don't trust to easily. You never know how people actually are." Your father spoke, a frown placed on his face "Awe come on pops, don't worry about me when you should worry about not getting anymore wrinkles on that face! Come on smilee" you gave a cheeky grin using your index fingers to lift your smile up more

"Was I just your pawn in all of this? Was I just someone you could use? Was everything a lie?" Before he could answer any of those questions a green smoke flare grabbed everyone attention "The Survey Corp is already here?!" Bertholdt shouted out looking at Reiner for guidance "We take them and go" Using his ODM gear he knocked you out and took both you and Eren, zipping away from the Survey Corp.

In the end, you arrived back home with Mikasa, Eren, Armin and the others after a long and devastating fight. Your questions were never answered and your heart would forever be broken.

THAT WAS A SUPER ASS ENDING BUT I HOPED YOU ENJOY REINER IS SO SEXY I HAVE TO DO SCHOOL WORK CAUSE I PUT IT OFF FOR THE PAST FEW HOURS TO WRITE THIS ANYWAYS REINER IS SEXY 🤰🏽🤰🏽🛐

-Kaii

#reiner x reader #reiner braun #attack on titan #armin aot #aot fanfiction #aot x reader #aot #levi ackerman x reader #shingeki no kyoujin levi #shingeki no kyoujin manga #fanfic #fangirl #fandom #anime x reader #anime

[inanabsentia]

Just Shigaraki thingz®️

This was kinda hard to write,, I genuinely immersed myself into his character and contemplated what the guy would probably do ✨

Playing and keeping up with the latest games to distract himself from wallowing in self deprecation and his hatred for heroism,, he still hates hero society with a passion and we all know why but geez, he just wants a break from it all by playing games. Plus he pretends that he’s fighting against heroes in the game and eventually defeats the ultimate boss (whom he pretends is All Might)

Definitely stays up late, browsing through the Internet Gosh, he definitely uses Reddit and gets on a page dedicated to pinpointing the flaws of heroes in society and reads through them. Though he won’t admit it, it gives him a certain sense of relief and reassurance that there are people in society who recognises the flaws of heroism and sees his way. Plus he just prefers reddit more because of how explicit and honest people are, what? He doesn’t sugarcoat his hatred towards heroism so he definitely doesn’t want other people to do it

The first time he reads the other redditor’s opinions on the flaws of heroism, he becomes intrigued but that intrigue turns to anger as he relates it back to his childhood days. It’s been years yet nothing has changed? Society is doomed after all and it reminds him of his destined purpose here on Earth

Sometimes when he’s feelin’ like it, he lounges at the bar all by himself (plus points if none of the other league members are there,, he prefers solitude during these moments) nursing a drink made by Kurogiri and either contemplated on his next plan or just stay there and immerse himself in the peaceful silence. There wasn’t his abusive father who crushed his hopes and dreams, his mother who cared for him yet couldn’t stop his father from his abusive tendencies, his sister who lied even while filling him with hope, his grandparents who loved him dearly but not enough to change the way things were.

Sometimes he finds it pretty ironic that he, someone who originally had the aspiration and dream to become a hero, had been shunned, turned away, abandoned, unloved and was created to be the villain AFO imagined him to be. He wasn’t a villain Born into pure villainy, he was raised to it and that makes him all the more bitter.

He stones a lot, a bit too much but before meeting the rest of the league members, he’s pretty much lonely all the time (asides from having Kurogiri tend to his needs), AFO rarely came to check up on him as he used to back when he was younger (where was he now?). As cynical and untrusting Shiggy is, he longed to still have a human connection, someone he could turn to and relate to his problems and aspirations to wreck hero society. He wanted to reimburse AFO, the figure who had practically raised him and made him who he was today, and show him that he can make the league that he dreamt of, where they’d crush hero society together

Though Shigaraki is aware that he used to be from an abusive and unloving household, he doesn’t want to mull over it for too Long despite how often he does it,, he thinks about it and moves on pretty quickly. Sure he’s got sessions where he just thinks and thinks and thinks about it but as quickly as he is to relate to his childhood, he’s also rather quick to just brush it aside and move on with other tasks

I’m definitely sure the guy’s soft, he just doesn’t outwardly express or show his soft side. He definitely cares! Just that when he’s got the task of bringing hero society down into shackles, it’s not so often he’s got moments to be soft, okay? Besides, other than AFO the man who practically raised him and gave him a purpose, who could he be soft too? Kurogiri was just someone he respected, but he didn’t feel necessarily indebted to him either

Some nights he’d have night terrors of his abusive household, recollections of how hero society has failed to save a child who only needed one, just one person to help him.

On other nights, he’d have dreams of taking over hero society and emerging as the next ruler of the world. He wakes up from the dream in a daze and just thinks to himself

‘Yeah, maybe. This could work,’ he smiles to himself despite all the past events that have culminated to this very moment and moves on with his purpose in life

#boku no hero au #boku no hero headcanons #boku no hero imagines #dabi x reader #league of villains x reader #overhaul bnha #overhaul headcannons #overhaul x reader #bnha shigaraki #shigaraki tomura #shigaraki x reader angst #shigaraki x reader fluff #shigaraki tomura x reader #shigaraki headcanons #mha tomura #shigaraki x reader lemon #bnha dabi #dabi imagine #yandere dabi x reader #dabi x reader #chisaki kai #tenko shimura #boku no hero fanfic #shiggy #yandere shigaraki x reader #alpha dabi x omega reader #dabi headcannons #my hero academia

[magicofthepen]

Thinking about how Romana still calls Sartia a friend after Sartia verbally abuses her and leaves her to die and psychically torments her and vs. how allergic Romana is to calling anyone a friend in the Gallifrey audios and how maybe.....those two things are somewhat connected.....

Also thinking about how Sartia keeps telling Romana that she’s as boring and stuffy and pathetic as the rest of the Time Lords vs. the Doctor’s last conversation with Romana in Zagreus when he tells her she’ll inevitably end up as corrupt as the rest of the Time Lords......obviously Sartia’s terrible, while the Doctor was actually a genuinely good friend of Romana’s, but the parallel between the Doctor implying to Romana that he never wants to see her again and Sartia being all ‘obviously no one Actually wants to be around you’.......yes I do think that left her with some Issues around friendship by the time the Gallifrey audios begin!

And following up on that.....isn’t it interesting how much Romana emotionally spirals when Leela is angry with her. (I can think of multiple examples, but probably the most egregious is Unity: Leela is bitter and angry and says she wishes Romana would have stayed away......and it isn’t very long after that that Romana goes ‘hey so I’ve decided to stay and die here because that’s what I deserve isn’t it?’) Which, to be clear, is not Leela’s fault and Leela’s going through her own rough emotions in that episode. But Romana’s very very high sensitivity to rejection from her best friend (to the point of self-destructive behavior) does feel vaguely connected to that history of being told that she’s awful and should die by the person she considered her oldest friend (and how much she internalized that self-hatred).

This is kind of ramble-y but I think there is Something here about how Romana lets Sartia’s opinion of her shape her own self-worth, and how later in life she’s still prone to attaching her self-worth to whether or not Leela likes her......obviously the situations are wildly different because Sartia’s actively trying to hurt Romana’s self-worth and Leela’s definitely not.....but there does seem to be an unhealthy pattern of depending too much on validation from a specific person and spiraling when that validation isn’t there (which actually makes it harder for Romana to self-reflect in a productive way and work on improving her friendship with Leela).

#big finish #romana #sartia #fourth doctor adventures #gallifrey audios #leela #obviously there are a lot of factors that go into romana’s struggles with friendship #and how emotionally volatile her friendships can be #but the sartia backstory definitely fits in and adds another layer to gallifrey!romana’s behavior #ramblings #emotional abuse #suicidal behavior #(not sure what tags are best) #romana x leela

[sunflowersteves]

most hated || j.t.

summary || you’ve always hated Jack and he’s always hated you. You wouldn’t dare change that. 

author’s note || this is my first time writing for jack so please go easy on me!

warnings || enemies to lovers, angst, fluff

Masterlist

You place a file smack dab in the middle of Peggy’s desk. She purses her red ruby slightly while her eyebrows raise.

“You finished paperwork already?”

You nod at your fellow agent and friend, a smile ghosting your lips. You had a coffee cup in your other hand, its warmth tingling your fingertips.

You take a sip of the bitter liquid, relishing in the perkiness of caffeine.

“Did you know that Jack got promoted to chief?”

Your eyes widen, big and bulging out of the sockets. You practically choke on your coffee in unison; which triggered a coughing fit prompting Peggy to hand you a napkin. You thank her while your coughing fit starts to die down.

“I’m sorry- that asshole got what?”

Peggy shook her head a bit in laughter at your reaction. Ever since you got transferred from L.A. and moved to New York, you and Jack have never gotten along. Sure, Jack was known to have a cold heart but with you, it’s like that cold heart was in a fire and the pits of hell.

The two of you always bickered and any time you were around each other, the whole room fell silent from the thick tension. Any time anyone of you got in trouble even, there would be sly smirks and smug expressions. It was like an ongoing competition between the two.

“You know, he’s not as bad as you think he is.”

You turn slightly to see Daniel lean on the door frame to Peggy’s office. Peggy agreed as she gave you a quick nod. You just rolled your eyes and groan at your friends for giving that shit for brains some benefit of the doubt.

“But he doesn’t treat you both like utter horse shit when you’re around.”

A sigh both leaves their lips as they couldn’t argue with you on that one. Ever since you arrived, it was like Jack had this unspoken hatred towards you. Everybody had mentioned he was cold but he was at least avoidable. It was like Jack specifically sought you out to annoy the living shit out of you.

“Wow, agent y/l/n, you sure curse a lot for a lady.”

A scowl forms on your face as you see Jack smugly leaning against the door frame of Peggy’s office. There’s a stupid smirk dancing across his features at your scowl and all you want to do is punch his stupid face.

“Mind your own business, Thompson.”

“That’s chief Thompson to you, agent.”

That stupid smirk is still etched across his face when he waltzes away. Your face was practically radiating anger as Daniel tried to somewhat calm you down. He always seemed to push the right set of buttons.

~~

Luckily, throughout the day you hadn’t seen Jack since. Your desk was in a corner situated on the other side of the precinct, which you sometimes groaned about but in this case, it came in handy.

You could see Jack go in and out of his office occasionally talking to other agents but you were able to avoid him. You could see sometimes that he was angrily yelling at some agents for messing up something. He would always shout and then that little vein on the top of his forehead was always prominent. Not that you would stare, of course.

A smile slowly turned up as you looked at the clock. It was five on the dot which meant it was time for all the agents to go home.

You placed a couple of files into a bin on your desk, making sure to put any last-minute things in proper places. Peggy and Daniel walked by to say goodbye before most likely going to dinner to relax for the rest of the night.

You pick up your bag and started to walk towards the exit, ready to go home and relax for the rest of the evening. A sigh escapes your lips as you hear a certain agent call your name from his office.

“Y/n? You still there?”

You purse your lips slightly, considering not answering and just quietly escaping the building. Another sigh brushes against your lips as you knew you couldn’t do that, you’d help him whenever you could.

“Yeah, Thompson?”

He peaks his head out of the office and urges you to come inside. Your heels click on the floor as you go inside the chief’s office. Most of it was empty and filled with unpacked boxes, considering it was his first day.

“I was wondering if you could help me with a certain case.”

You nodded and took the file that was handed over to you, looking at the contents inside. Your thumb skinned over the name Dolores and your head snapped up to look at Jack.

“But she-” He nodded, taking a hard gulp as his eyes flickered towards yours.

“I know. I think she’s working undercover. I think she may be working for the Russians.”

Your mouth was agape, now often were you fully shocked at much. You’ve been through a troubled life and had stumbled upon the agency. Luckily, you passed all the tests and were able to become one of the best agents out there.

~~

So, you stayed and helped Jack try and piece little things together to understand what was going on. His desk was fully covered in papers right now, you were also able to pin some of the things happening around the SSR like missing files and dead agents.

She was clearly sent to disrupt the SSR and gain control over everything. Especially, since you all have been having issues for the past months.

“Wait.”

Jack’s head perked up at the sound of your voice, his hands letting go of the papers in his hands—letting them be buried amongst other papers. You scooted your chair next to his so he could see it, reading the words on the paper.

A gasp left his lips and his eyes widened in glee. “Y/n, this could destroy her. This is enough to turn her in.”

A bright smile returns to your face and Jack’s heart skips a beat. Your smile was radiating and contagious. He leans a bit closer to relish in the moment and then you both realize how close you actually were. Your noses were almost touching and you were able to feel his breath fan onto your face.

You cleared your throat and scooted back slightly, “you know, you should probably go home.” His eyebrows furrowed and he scoffed, waving off your statement.

“Me? I think you should be going home. It’s getting late.”

You roll your eyes at the agent next to you and huff, arms crossing over each other. You definitely didn’t want to go home. Not when you finally had evidence to bring Dot down into the ground. You wanted to make sure the evidence was palpable.

“What? I’m the one that found this information. You should go home.”

Now it was Jack’s turn to huff and roll his eyes at you. “You’re insufferable.”

You furrow your eyebrows and make a scowl, now was definitely not the time for your disagreements to get into the middle of such a devastating case.

“Well, I-”

You couldn’t even get your whole sentence out as a soft pair of lips. Your eyes widen slightly in shock but his lips never left yours, it was almost as if he was getting closer and closer to you. You let your body relax into his embrace and savor the sweet taste of his lips.

His lips felt addicting, your saliva was mixing with each other. He tasted like candy, sweet ecstasy clouded your mind as your kisses got needier and desperate.

Your hands immediately went to his hair, pulling slightly. A moan vibrated against your lips as his hand lightly glided around the small of your back. His heart was beating way too fast, your plump lips devoured him and he couldn’t get enough of the burning sensation your hands left on his body.

A small whimper left your mouth when he pulled away, a smug smirk growing on his lips. He sat up quickly, brushing every single paper and small nicknack off the desk and right onto the floor. He pushed your back onto the wood-carved desk, your legs had wrapped right around his torso.

He leaned forward and connected his lips with your neck, nibbling slightly which prompted a moan. He could feel his body tingling at the sound, he definitely thought it was the hottest thing he had ever heard.

“You drive me crazy, y/n.” He went over to nibble and kiss your ear. “Ever since you walked through that door, I’ve had my eyes set on you.” He left a trail of kisses down your neck, his fingers ghosting your stomach and the line of your bra underneath your dress shirt.

“You always get on my nerves, arguing about everything and anything with me. Not to mention, that goddamn mouth on you.”

His fingers start to fiddle with the buttons on your shirt, successfully opening one. You yelp in ecstasy as he bit down on just the right spot that met the divot of your neck.

“God, y/n, I’ve got to admit that I tried to suppress it. I tried to hate you and pick a fight with you but then you waltz right back up to me and I’m done for.” His lips join yours again, this time more bruising and passionate.

He parts again and stares at you, your legs still wrapped around his. Your back ached slightly at the hard surface but you didn’t give a fuck at the moment.

“Jack-”

You were interrupted by his tongue soothing out the now bruises that most likely covered your neck. His hands cupped your face which then slid down onto your now exposed stomach. 

“You really are a prize.”

He then starts to unbuckle your dress pants, pulling them down harshly. Your hand stops his and he quickly does the same, wondering if you were okay.

“Are you sure about this? In here?”

“Well, I am the chief, aren’t I?”

The two of you laugh at his statement but he was able to successfully pull down your pants. He then reconnected back towards you, kissing down your stomach and looking at you with lust-filled eyes.

Sure, you’ve hated the guy for quite some time but you could definitely get used to this new side of him.

~~

Permanent Taglist: @hailmary-yramliah​ @kitkatd7​ @captainchrisstan​ @angstysebfan​ @teenagereadersciencenerd​ (also tagging @fandomsandxfiles​ bc it’s jack thompson)

#jack thompson #jack thompson x reader #jack thompson x fem!reader #jack thompson fanfiction #agent carter #peggy carter #daniel sousa #peggysous #ssr #marvel #marvel fan fiction #marvel fanfiction #jack thompson x female!reader #marvel one shot #chad michael murray #chad michael murray x reader #marvel imagine

[xenosgirlvents]

Hey can I rant to you about how I find the mono-focus on the very much human dominated forces of Chaos as the real bad guy of 40k to be honestly even worse than the Imperiaal focus?  You know what I always wanted in 40k?  Lizardmen, Alien Ogres, Space Dwarfs, Skaven, and some Vampire Counts to the Necrons’ Tomb Kings.   In WHFB only three playable armies were human (five if you count the undead as human) and WHFB had a larger number of independent factions than 40k.   Meanwhile in 40k about half of all the armies in the game are Imperial and another large chunk are the equally insufferable legions of Chaos as the two factions circlejerk over who is the more racist and xenophobic.   While in FB you had the annoying emphasis on Chaos as the one true threat (which is increasingly being emphasised in 40k including the awful, awful retcons they want to do to the war in heaven where what was supposed to be the xenos equivalent to the horus heresy gets “akshually the real bad guy is chaos lawl” shoved into it), humanity was just a part of the struggle against it or other forces such as Undeath or the Greenskins.  Not even the biggest part, with the High Elves, Lizardmen, and Dwarfs all bearing more of the burden than the Empire or Bretonnia.   Meanwhile, while theoretically 40k is a setting where non-chaos bad guys are more relevant and more able to defeat Chaos and take over as the one; the non-humans actually do less.  Chaos is the only bad guy faction allowed to have permanent wins, to be undefeatable without any asterisks marks and whose fanboys (including GW’s writing team) love to endlessly circlejerk about how opposing Chaos is useless because they’ll get you in the end. And how 40k is really about humanity’s inevitably doomed succumbing to Chaos and how the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons are the destined victors and blah-de-blah.  Any time an effective counter to chaos is written about in any other faction’s lore; the Chaos favouratism gets to show with “akshually chaos overcomes this because phhbbbbbt” with eye-rolling descriptions of how Chaos overwhelms say; the Tyranid hive mind by scattering it with the great rift, or how the death guard can infect nurgle, or how actually Tzeentch only pretended to lose to the Eldar or how Slaanesh actually pulled a fast one over the T'au.   Nobody is allowed to be more of a threat than the Chaos Space Marines and Daemons even though the former are literally a bunch of spoiled paramilitary stormtroopers salty about the Emperor saying they weren’t allowed to rule over normal humanity like god-kings and the latter have lore that is fifty million variations of “lol inevitable victory”.  The Chaos Space Marines are so lacking in numbers, so incapable of large scale cooperation not riven with petty fratricidal personal rivalries, so bereft of a functional logistical train, and are lead by such an insufferable band of edgy cartoon villains that they should honestly be little more than a nuisance that the Imperium only focuses on because of their symbolic threat. An annoyance compared to the much more organised and vastly more numerous and far better at exponentially scaling up power of the Necrons, the Tyranids, or the Orks. One that is carrying out an empty, pointless rivalry sparked largely over a bunch of stormtroopers being furious about not being allowed to be kings.  Wouldn’t it be more thematically meaningful and fit better into the cosmic horror that 40k wants to be if Chaos was actually mostly a symbolic threat that would be ignorable if the Imperium wasn’t still spooked over what amounted to an attempted religiously motivated military coup ten thousand years ago and that ultimately; this petty rivalry doesn’t matter? That the bitter hatred over Horus’ coup ultimately is meaningless in the face of the fact that this galaxy, this universe, has never belonged to humanity or anything spawned of it?  Khorne may feed off the violence of humanity and many minor xenos species; but Gork and Mork are a far more pure form of warmongering and what we now know as the Greenskins are just the tip of the iceberg compared to what they can really do when the WAAAGH! gets rolling. Nurgle may be an infestation of humanity’s despair and inability to progress but the Tyranids are the cancer that will kill the universe itself. Tzeentch may be clever and ancient as the firstborn of Chaos; but the Necrons have plans stretching back to before even the very idea of Tzeentch came into being.   And of course, unlike the Dark Elves; the Druklhari aren’t really a major villain or threat. Vect is just kind of an asshole in his own little corner, not one of the top big bads the way Malekith was.  But nah instead we get CHAOSCHAOSCHAOSCHAOSCHAOS coupled with ADB and Reynolds’ bizarre (but in hindsight, given what we’re shown of Chaos; sensible) revelation that actually Chaos is even more racist than the Imperium.  It leads to 40k’s central conflict being between Satanist Ethnonationalist AnCaps and TradCath Ethnonationalist Reactionaries. Creepy bloodthirsty edgelords versus Roman bust twitter pfps.  None of the other villains are ever allowed to “usurp” Chaos’ place as “the real threat” and any time non-chaotic bad guys get a time to shine, the Chaos writers pitch a fit and force in awful reminders that Chaos is actually the real threat behind everything and can never ever lose.   It makes Chaos come off less as an interesting villain and more of a childish edgelord fantasy written by a bunch of kids who go “nuh uh!” everytime they take the L or insinuate that spikelord edgy mcgee is anything less than the coolest bad guy ever made.  The fandom makes fun of Abaddon because he textually hasn’t really done much in thirteen tries? Well actually retcon in some outlandishly complicated super duper secret plan so that he and his army of *checks notes* less than one million racist storm troopers in ancap colours are actually totally the greatest threat in the setting and not the vastly more organised Tyranids or more tactically competent Necrons or the more numerous Orks.  People still make fun of abaddon because he looks like a goofy mook rather than an awesome overlord (at least Archaon looks like someone you’d immediately figure for as the big bad of a setting; Abaddon looks more like…the real bad guy’s stupid but strong brute muscle enforcer)? Have an entire novel series written to squee about how awesome and cool he is which literally none of the other “big bad” factions’ primary characters have ever gotten.   Also I am sick to death of how GW pushes Khorne as the unbeatable poster bad boy of the entire setting over and above even the rest of Chaos. Yeah his aesthetic is simple, marketable, and he’s incredibly easy to write into plots (even if I think there’s never been more interesting takes on Khorne where he’s shown as actually capable of cleverness in the pursuit of maximising mindless death and destruction as we see in Dawn of War 1 and Dawn of War 2 Retribution; where the Khornate villains have an impressively clever scheme even if the end goal is just “kill people”) and you can explain his concept to anyone.  Please stop trying to throw him into literally everything and let other bad guys have even a little bit of spotlight.   Octarius and Armageddon? Khorne crashes the party. Tzeentch threatens Luna? Well akshually Khorne invades Terra, take that nerds.  Where does Khorne even get all these worshippers to yeet themselves into every warzone in existence when he probably offers the least to his followers that most people would want? 

So on some points I agree with you, others I disagree, and in some places I understand the general feeling you’re conveying but am not quite so vitriolic.

Yes; I wish 40k as a setting was more akin to WHFB and AoS in that it permitted more factions to matter. 40k is, I agree, so myopic in it’s focus that it becomes frustrating. If the other factions weren’t playable I would understand, certainly, but if you’re going to offer players a chance to invest in the Xenos factions but then just never give them any return on that investment it feels like nothing more than lying to people.

Similarly; I also wish we saw more of a non-Human (and even then more of a non-Chaos Space Marine) component to Chaos. I find it hard to take Chaos seriously as a universal force when, over their supposedly non-linear/infinite period of existence they seem to never have done anything other than obsess over one species who, compared to the majority of other playable species in the game, have been around insanely briefly.

Yes; I do agree that I wish at times Chaos wasn’t used to usurp Xenos threats just to pull the old ‘but Chaos was the true villain all along’, see what you mention about the Hive Mind and the Great Rift, about Chaos usurping Orks on Armageddon etc. etc.

However, I disagree that Chaos is remotely as irritatingly favoured in the lore as the Imperium. Yes, it is true, that it is not infrequently written in vague terms that ‘you are all doomed, Chaos comes for you,’ but, in the majority of cases, this is purely informed, never shown. It is akin to the lines that tell us ‘Aeldari are so smart and elite,’ but then we just get shown them being curbstomped over and over again. We’re ‘told’ Chaos is some great looming threat which will win...but in practise they do only mildly better than Xenos in the lore, with Chaos losing the vast majority of everything they ever do in the lore, just like Xenos. I will admit Chaos has, lately, done *marginally* better in the lore, and that is definitely connected, as you say, to the active focus to make Chaos the ‘big bad’ now, but it is still only marginal.

I do agree that I would prefer not to see Chaos made to eclipse all other threats but my main motivation here is just because in 40k, as you point out, Chaos is never separated from the Imperium. In WHFB and AoS Chaos can take on a plurality of forms and is not just a ‘spikier’ version of the main human faction. For this reason the recent feeling I have had is just that 40k is increasingly becoming a clone of the Horus Heresy which, as someone who likes Xenos, is obviously a disappointment.

I don’t share your very strong disdain for Chaos. For the most part, in 40k’s lore, I feel Chaos is largely akin to Xenos in that we’re all glorified punching bags for Space Marines (you yourself point out Abaddon’s memetic loser status). I concede Chaos does *marginally* better but, at current, that is so inconsequential to me that it doesn’t bother me anywhere near as much as the treatment of Xenos vis-a-vise the Imperium.

My personal take is I think the favouritism as an antagonist, shown to Chaos, is less detrimental to the cause of Xenos agency in the lore than the raging boner GW and BL have for the Imperium and, in particular Space Marines. 

I also, in general, think Chaos would benefit from being developed in a more nuanced way. I don’t see them quite as cardboard-cut out as you seem too (not denying many are because BL and GW can’t write non-Imperium characters well mostly) but I think many of them have, and to an extent do also, get treated more nuanced in some of the literature. I do think a big failing here is that Black Library has made *some* efforts to make *some* of the Chaos characters interesting and nuanced but, for some reason, GW tends to just ignore this. Hence Magnus can in his own novels be portrayed as sympathetic due to his loyalty to his people and desire to not persecute Psykers, but then when appearing in a campaign supplement just makes the stock-generic ‘bow before me mortals/I am your doom/all shall fall’ comments with little to no character.

Personally, and this is recognizing as I said above that I do understand some of the points you’re making, I feel like Chaos players and Xenos players, in terms of the lore treating us like crap, have more in common than not. But, again, that’s just my personal opinion! 

[misscricket]

Canders

Oh @stark-illerbase, let me take you on a journey...

Anders and Carver don’t like each other in Act 1 of Dragon Age II. That’s putting it mildly. Carver is a young man probably suffering from PTSD, grieving over his twin sister and struggling with the new life his brother and mother are pursuing. He strongly identifies as a Fereldan, hence the tattoo he got at Ostagar being a mabari, and he sees his mother trying to recapture the Amell name and legacy as almost a rejection of the Hawke lifestyle back in Lothering. As to the PTSD, not only did he see his beloved Twin sister get crushed by an Ogre right in front of his eyes, he was also at the Battle of Ostagar. He had to be dragged away from the battle by his fellow soldiers and told to run for it, or else he would have stayed, and fought and died right there, so determined was he to protect his country and family.

“ Said he wanted to protect his family. That someone had to, because his father had died and, well you know how the Champion turned out. Carver took it real serious...” (World of Thedas Vol 2)

Along with a love of using a sword, this was Carver’s motivation for signing up with the army, the Blight was threatening his home, and his family, and he saw it as his duty to protect them.

“The more ground we lost, the harder he swung that plank of a sword of his. He was shouting that we had to win, that it was to keep our homes safe. I swear he was crying when we finally tackled him, but damned if I’ll hold that against him. It took three of us to drag him to cover. I had to slap him back to his senses, to make him see that killing five, or ten, more ‘spawn wouldn’t matter. The wall was on us, and dying there wasn’t going to help anyone. I said if he wanted to do his family good, he’d get them safe. “  (World of Thedas Vol 2)

So he’s a bit of a prickleberry.

And then in comes Anders. Instantly he’s hyper focused on Carver’s brother, because Carver’s brother is a Mage. And Maker have mercy Carver has been hearing about the Mage plight for years. His whole bloody life actually. 

He acutely understands the realities of living with an Apostate mage family, from the perspective of someone inside the family unit who doesn’t have magic himself. He couldn’t be too good at anything, or excel, because it drew attention. He wasn’t a Mage himself, but he too lived as an Apostate, in fear of drawing the Templars gaze.

And then Anders says, 

Anders: I'm sorry about your sister. She sounds like a special girl. 

Carver: Why? Because she was a mage? 

Anders:  (If Hawke is male) Your brother says she had a good heart. Being on the run never made her bitter. (If Hawke is female) Your other sister says she was a good person. That she never turned down a chance to help people. 

Carver: Yes, yes. I'm sure the Chantry's got a shrine with her portrait on it. 

Anders: I was trying to be nice. 

Carver: Stick to surly. It works for you

And then this one

Anders: You don't like me, Carver? 

Carver: I don't like you. 

Anders: That's unfortunate. Hating someone just because they're a mage is a shameful thing. 

Carver: I don't hate you because you're a mage. I hate you because you won't shut up about it. 

Carver: Oppression this, templars that. I'd heard enough long before you. 

Anders: Maybe it's time you put some thought into it.

To Anders, Carver looks like the sullen, angry, bitter brother of two Mages, resentful of their powers or perhaps, even, hating them because of them.

This isn’t the case. Carver bitches and moans about his siblings, but most of his gripes are familiar to anyone who has an older or over achieving sibling.

When there is a legitimate threat, Carver immediately steps between Hawke and danger. When Fenris snarls about Mages, Carver, unprompted, says.

Carver: You have a problem with my brother/sister, you have a problem with me.

It’s instantly protective, and it’s far from the only incident in the game. He continually worries whenever Hawke talks to Templars, or stirs up Mage trouble, not because he hates Mages but because he’s worried for Hawke.

Anders however can no longer seem to see greys, it’s all black and white for him. Either you’re for Mages and then you want wholescale freedom and down the Templar order, or you’re a Mage hater, and as good as a Templar.

Carver’s stance on Magic is actually one of the most subtle and nuanced in the game, if not the whole series. He understands the dangers on a level most people, who haven’t lived with unfettered magic, can’t understand. But he also understands the joys and love of those with magic, and doesn’t believe locking them up in the Circle to be the right thing, despite his potential choice to be a Templar.

So Carver and Anders...

Enemies to Lovers

The fit this trope beautifully. Even in Act 1 with surly Carver and judgy Anders. But throw in Carver either being a Templar, the thing Anders hates most in the world, or him being a Grey Warden, the organisation Anders rejected. Oh the potential for angry arguments and heated kisses.

They are not so ideologically opposed that I think they couldn’t understand each other I think, and I think if they actually hashed it out together they’d actually find a lot of common ground. It’s just whether they could get there without the prickles throwing them off course is the question...and no Carver isn’t the only prickly one.

Templar Carver

Carver joins the Templar order for two reasons.

1. His brother/sister hasn’t returned from the Deep Roads with the rest of the expedition. Bartrand has likely told him they’re all dead. That leaves him and his mother alone in the world, and Carver can’t get work. The Guards won’t have him because Aveline told them not to, and the other options are mercenary jobs or the Templars. He no longer has any mage siblings to worry about being caught, and he doesn’t have to disclose that he had Mages in his family if he doesn’t want to.

2. His namesake was a Templar. I think giving him his piece of his identity makes Carver interested in the order in a  different way. Up until then they’ve kind of been the boogeymen of the Hawke children’s lives. ‘Be good or a Templar will get you’. But his father named him after a Templar, ‘skill thoughtfully applied’. There was some value to that path. And you can’t tell me that Carver wasn’t, in many ways, his family’s personal Templar. If Bethany or Hawke had fallen...would another Mage have been able to stand against them? They would have needed a swordsman. Carver.

Anders thinks Carver has joined the Templars out of spite, or hatred. But there is a wonderful array of fiction you can have with Anders and the Order and the fact they are continually trying to hunt Anders down. Carver wouldn’t stand for it, if one of his brothers companions was threatened, and he certainly wouldn’t want him to be hurt, killed or made Tranquil, which would have been his fate should Meredith have gotten her hands on him.

Grey Warden Carver

As for the Grey!Warden path, Carver thrives as a Warden, he blossoms under that structure and purpose where Anders did not. But they have the connection of Anders having been the one to beg Stroud to take him, to put him through the Joining.

We also know that Carver knows Nathaniel, who was friends with Anders during Awakening. This likely means he knows a number of the Ferelden Wardens, and you can’t tell me they wouldn’t be curious about Anders.

Alternate Universes ideas I have toyed with writing

Tevinter - Mage Healer who refuses to use Blood Magic and the son of a powerful Mage house who doesn’t have magic himself.

Special Agents AU - Agent Hawke and Anders have a turbulent relationship because the boy always comes back hurt.

Coffee Shop AU - Anders is an overworked and exhausted Doctor. Carver is his caffeine supplier.

Werewolf AU - Alpha Carver learns that being dominant doesn’t always mean barking orders, and Omega Anders learns that brooding wolves are definitely better lovers.

Mirror Universe - What it says on the box...darkfic.

Angel AU - Carver is Anders’ guardian Angel, and he grumbles about it a lot. He also keeps losing his feathers everytime he swears, and it makes Anders laugh at him.

and many many more.

To close out this rambling dissertation on the beauty that is Canders (praise be)

Enjoy this lovely fanart drawn by the talented @frikadeller in a commission for @autumnyte-old​

Case closed!

#Carver Hawke #Anders #Dragon Age #Canders #Rambling Ramble

[almasidaliano]

“listen to your thoughts”

shout out to the god beings not only nurturing their god genes; also spreading truth and knowledge to the youth ‘bout what it all means. i got pulled away, i still exist within a hectic day to day however this seed simply must be spread.

here it is my two cents; listen with an open mind and then you decide what your inner truth is.

every definition society has written about what it means to be successful, accepted, even morally good are just distractions you can’t “visualize” because they’re ingrained in the way you conceptualize. i know that sounds strange, you see the things they don’t say, and/or label “fiction/fake/stay away” are answers to questions they don’t want to explain. they (& who the fuck is they anyway? they make your hell comfortable, so you found - contentment? and caved. so as their dreams went from pictures to reality, we?- scribbled on our paintings and took our place within this insanity? perpetuating stereotypes, ALL THE -ISMS, inequality, and innocent victims steadily die, because their hatred stained our minds. i’ll tell you a secret “power lies in the compliance.” the natives of this land, were too “peaceful” at the time to keep it. who the fuck is anyone to tell you who to be? or who you are? or what it is that you deserve? who is anyone to condemn you or even idolize your worth? NOBODY IS SUPERIOR DUMMIES. if you here, we all chosen in this realm for something. we are all one. you can’t be better at being me than me, and vice versa. your dreams are yours. YOUR CONFIDENCE, your DREAMS, YOUR VOICE, YOUR CHOICES- they are YOURS ALONE. when you enter this world you have to trust your senses as a baby, because you don’t naturally understand this language; or at least how to verbally communicate with it.

pop quiz : what’s society’s favorite thing to do to the youth?

answer? CRUSH THEIR DREAMS, teach them “discipline” and “obedience”. navigate their paths so they are fit their labels and view the rest of the world like that.

minorities are the majority. no one talks about that tho. the physiques of our black queens, they couldn’t copy to a T. so they redrew “beauty” so we wouldn’t fit the definition. colorism further dividing the unity we existed in. cause there’s this crazy misconception that “light skins” have it best; except we don’t cause in the end they treat us just like they treat them. the only difference is, we were their jestures, their entertainment. our humiliation satisfies them, something dangerous. we’re the guinea pigs, we’re the bastards, we’re the “mistakes” that weren’t mistakes until you saw our pigmentation. our thick curly hair and the magic we contain. envy beloveds, is a terrible thing. and reflections we love to to condemning the aggressors; it’s 2021 at this point are we any better? all this turmoils make y’all bitter. y’all keep telling them to change. they want y’all to fight so they can keep doing the same things. keep making you the villain, and taking your humanity away. change your ideology about everything. look into everything. take what hits, resonates and fits your ideal existence. if you believe in magic, you can do anything be persistent.

be original. be weird, it means authentic and eccentric. they coated their amazement with a tone of isolation, this cold negative connotation. don’t speak out, don’t stand out, they wanted to keep us caged in. athletes don’t have to dumb, nerds aren’t awkward at all, everyone can be friends, just takes a little respect that’s all. fuck your parents. fuck their ideas and their wants for you. if you want for you, why live your life based off of others? you owe no one anything. if you take advice and things go wrong, whose fault is it?

yours. why? because they ADVISED, can’t a soul make you do shit in this life. so only do what you want to, you’ll find more fulfillment, or at the least a lesson in growth. because no matter who you tryna please, the weight is all your own. so why not let it be your own?

money is nothing, if your times truly valuable. you shouldn’t do shit for money, cause you’ll hate the conditions of your routine environment that constricts your growth and then you can wilt away entirely. wealth and fortune are obtained by the bold, whether heinous or innovation it’s the risk the passion behind a dream one can’t not indulge in. if you wouldn’t die for what you’re doing, for how you’re living change that shit.

if being you makes people you thought you had leave, thank your ancestors and guides for the cleansing of your space. you have to love you like you love whatever you believe in. if your creator made you as you are, why you letting someone who has no idea what your purpose is, deter your focus?

ever heard of body dysmorphia ? they got society in a soul purpose dysmorphia. got warriors, philosophers, healers, teachers, leaders, builders, hunters, farmers etc., “magic” capabilities they got you convinced are just make believe, yet so a man thinketh so is he. you still w me? so look, maybe it’s hard, maybe it’s on the side of the unpopular opinion. matching energy ain’t what’s in, maintain your shit and balance will align with it. CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE CONFIDENCE. away with putting ourselves down, self criticism is not self bashing.

really it’s the influence the outside seems to have on people. i got beat on and bullied because i’m a nerd an athlete and i’m pretty. i don’t “condemned” for disagreeing with certain interpretations and meanings within religion because they contradicted the things “followers” were being. in the end, i defended myself by any means, even got the congregation viewing the world like little ole me, i saved and kept saving the souls shelled up in the “outcasts” the “rebels”. even some souls in the pawns tainted and evil. because when i speak, you feel my meaning. i’m the poster child for every ounce of “difference” they’re trying to label “abomination” now, and still somehow i’m America’s favorite flower child. i am the voice for the weak, and the scared, and those who still don’t have courage to share, for those who think nobody cares; maybe they don’t, sometimes they will and sometimes they won’t, for those who feel nothing but anger, just rage; for the wanderers who don’t know whether they can effect change. you can do anything, YOU WANT TO DO. people die for no reason, they die with regret, they die after a life they never truly lived. honestly, for god sakes people just fucking live. as you see fit, make mistakes learn from them. network and connect with neighbors. don’t hate ignorant strangers.

create a force field for yourself, meditate and visualize the energy around you. keep all negativity and leeching energy away. remind yourself you are as you are perfection. everyday. and then just be okay?

a.

[ilonga]

rise of skywalker and sequels salt time, y’all

things I’m salty about in the rise of skywalker and the star wars sequels, in no particular order:

- Finn was sidelined 

- FINN WAS SIDELINED

- he was such an interesting character with so much potential (a stormtrooper who deserted!! pretty sure that was the first time we’d ever seen that!!), and it was all ignored and he was turned into background noise for what?? kylo ren??

- seriously! after TFA, the movies should have explored his backstroy! we should have seen his stormtrooper past affect him!! maybe a stormtrooper revolution!! he should have had a CHARACTER ARC!

- also his force-sensitivity being turned into a joke and comic relief was frankly insulting

- they could have done so many things with that side of the character (even though it was kind of out of nowhere)! parallels between finn and rey, finn questioning his identity, the whole a former stormptrooper being force sensitive thing should have been explored!

- Poe was sidelined

- Poe was a spice runner for no reason?? 1) isn’t that a rude stereotype, and 2) Poe is not Han Solo 2.0!! he was his own, different character!

- Finn/Poe didn’t happen

- gonna be salty about that forever, though I guess I saw it coming :( (it’s disney, what did I expect?)

- but they gave Poe a straight love interest that we’d never heard of before this movie and who he had like two lines of dialogue with just to rub it in?? like, really?

- they completely forgot Rose existed

- like, listen, I wasn’t the biggest fan of the finnrose kiss either, but you can’t just pretend it didn’t happen and hope everyone forgets about it

- and sure, rose’s introduction and character in TLJ was a bit clumsy

- BUT YOU CAN’T JUST IGNORE HER AND PRETEND SHE DIDN’T HAPPEN

- she had a lot of potential as a character, and interesting backstory, a practical pragmatic personality, and a lot of ways she could play off the other characters

- TROS could have been where we saw Rose grow as a character and really shine

- instead, she was forgotten

- ugh

- REY PALPATINE WAS THE DUMBEST FRICKING THING OKAY--

- like, first of all, palpatine coming back for some reason somehow was the most ridiculous direction this movie could have gone and didn’t work, at all

- their enemy for the first TWO MOVIES was the First Order and Kylo Ren

- they had a huge moment in TLJ where the Resistance is steadily being destroyed and they won’t last long against the First Order

- now they’re supposed to take on the First Order and a now-supposedly-immortal emperor palpatine who has a collection of unmanned star destroyers he can control for some reason??

- both of them at once? the resistance is barely alive as is, now you’re adding an OP extra army + sith lord to the mix?

- I mean, this is ridiculous. Palpatine’s dead. Anakin’s big sacrifice in return of the jedi was KILLING palpatine. now he’s back, and the resistance somehow realises he’s back and decides he’s enemy #1 now?

- how did the resistance find out a dead sith lord came back to life on a remote planet anyways?

- and WHAT ABOUT, YOU KNOW, THE FIRST ORDER? AND KYLO REN?

- Kylo Ren, who they finally decided was going to be the main villain in TLJ (even with that stupid “rey trying to redeem the mass murderer” plot going on in the background), and now they don’t have the guts to commit to making him evil (which he was for the LAST TWO MOVIES AND THE MAJORITY OF TROS)

- so, since they weren’t committed enough to make Kylo a villain like he actually was and didn’t have the groundwork for a redemption, they just decided to ignore the fact that he was evil and hope it would go away

- like, are we going to forget that he literally MURDERED HIS DAD, HAN SOLO

- or that he and his first order destroyed a whole SYSTEM OF PLANETS? filled with billions of innocent people?

- he personally tortured Poe, he personally tortured Rey, and he was complicit in a system that kidnapped Finn, took him from his family, and brainwashed him

- not to mention that one of the opening scenes of TROS was him literally massacring people

- but no!! it’s all fine now, bc he looked at his dad’s ghost a little sadly and got a new lightsaber color

- like, no. he isn’t “redeemed” because he’s decided he has the hots for rey. heck, that makes it even worse. he’s been trying to manipulate her for all three movies, he’s gaslighted her, he’s threatened her, he’s hurt the people she cares about. NONE OF THAT IS OKAY. and it’s even less okay that all of his evil deeds can be written off because rey’s “”love”” for him “healed” him or whatever the fuck they want us to think

- and why would they have Rey HEAL him? after SHE stabbed him? in what universe does that make sense?? even if rey didn’t defeat him fairly bc he was distracted or whatever, this is still the supreme leader of the army rey and the rebels are trying to defeat. like, rey, are you a part of the resistance or not? it doesn’t matter if he was “nicer” to you than the rest of the rebels. He’s still your ENEMY. Your “”empathy”” here helps no one, least of all yourself. Kylo Ren dead would have been a massive victory for the resistance--maybe they’d even have had a chance against the first order then! you know, the first order? the enemy you were fighting for the last two movies? 

- is this the message you want to be sending to young girls in the audience? that it’s ok if their partner hurts them, hurts other people, is a bad person in general, because their love can “”heal”” him? and that eventually, he’ll turn good if you just try hard enough?

- this is how people wind up in abusive relationships!! that shit is NOT okay

- and the kiss is ridiculous for the same reasons. you don’t owe kylo ren anything, rey. Not in the least for “rescuing” from a situation that was pretty much created bc of him. He’s the one who teamed up with palpatine at the beginning of the movie, remember?

- sometimes I feel like this movie forgot that kylo ren is, you know, a bad person, which the other two movies spent their entire runtime showing us

- like darth vader’s sacrifice was one thing. first of all, it was for his son, his child, and secondly, vader was very much under the power of the emperor and debatably had the mindset of a slave

- kylo ren, on the other hand, was completely under his own power. HE was making the choices, and calling the shots. HE murdered Snoke. And he died for a girl he was manipulating and gaslighting constantly and that he didn’t have much of a connection to other than “the force”

- like, darth vader’s “”redemption”” definitely wasn’t perfect either. you can argue that him killing the emperor and sacrificing him self to save his son didn’t negate any of his actions or him being a bad person. but it was definitely more meaningful and better handled.

- and let’s talk about rey

- I will forever be bitter that rey didn’t get a meaningful character arc and character growth

- which is so disappointing because she was SUCH an interesting (& mysterious) character with so much potential in TFA

- I feel like, in making her palpatine, which was pretty out of nowhere and contrary to the last jedi, they were so busy trying to fit her heritage into the movie in a way that sort of made sense that they forgot to make the movie about her growing as a character and person

- couldn’t they at least have given her her own lightsaber?

- I mean, her being a palpatine is already ridiculous because since when does palpatine have a son? (clone, whatever) And since when did that son have some sort of epic struggle where he refuses to join palpatine and runs away? and when did that son find someone he fell in love with, and have a daughter? and then subsequently abandon her, a seven-ish year old, on a dangerous desert planet? (I mean, wasn’t palpatine dead by then anyways?)

- it just doesn’t fit with the already established star wars universe. we already know palpatine’s story (well, not the beginning of it, but enough). It was movies 1-6, clone wars, and rebels. if he had had a son that had a luke-esque struggle against the darkside, it would have shown up.

- it just doesn’t fit

- but anyways, back to rey

- I guess they were trying to give her some luke-style struggle where she struggles with her heritage and a pull to the darkside that she has to ultimately triumph over? but it doesn’t work

- one, because she never HAS any struggle with the dark side. shooting lightning out of your fingers out of nowhere doesn’t count (and wasn’t that a ridiculous scene. it was more comical than anything else, which is definitely not what they were going for)

- a struggle with the darkside is about being tempted to give into anger, fear, and hatred, and struggling not to do the wrong things and turn evil. In luke’s story, we SAW that. we also saw luke’s horror and eventual acceptance of his heritage, which we never really saw with rey. It was just like, “okay, guess I’m a palpatine?” and it wasn’t nearly as impactful bc palpatine had been dead for the past thirty-ish years. as a contrast, vader was a living and very present villain who the heroes had to contend with, and it was personal for most of them.

- so I guess they tried to make that her character arc, but it didn’t work. so we were left with a stale character who didn’t really have any meaningful victories or losses.

- is she really a “”mary sue”” like everyone’s claiming if they never really made the story about her?

- I think that was the biggest thing that was so unsatisfying about the sequels

- she was hyped up to be the first real mainstream female jedi protagonist (obviously clone wars got there first, but movies are definitely more mainstream than a show, sorry cw :( ), but she never really got a journey, struggles, or real triumphs. which is such a shame because she was this really empowering character in TFA that I was so excited to see more! but her trilogy-wide character arc just wasn’t satsifying

- I wanted to see her really struggle, and rise above her struggles! I wanted her to have meaningful triumphs!

- also I don’t think she ever got injured either, which is definitely a deviation from the star wars trilogy pattern. that’s kinda strange. (luke lost his hand & got electrocuted, han got frozen in carbonite, leia got tortured & shot, anakin got, well, a LOT of injuries, but even before becoming darth vader w/ the foregone conclusion, he had his arm cut off, padme was pretty heavily injured on genosis, and obi-wan was injured in the fight against dooku)

- yup

- also the sith wayfinder was kinda dumb, and I never felt like there were real stakes in TROS

- and let’s address the rey skywalker thing: ok, fine, I get what they were trying to say, kind of

- and I’m not foaming at the mouth about it like some people are. I’m fairly indifferent

- but it would have been a lot more meaningful if rey had had like, a really close, deep relationship with Leia and Luke, so she could say that she and they considered her a skywalker

- but she didn’t have that sort of relationship with them, not really. Sure, she and leia were friends on-screen, but that was it. and luke didn’t really seem to like her all that much. 

- so like, “meh”

- especially since Leia’s technically a Solo or an Organa, so that line working really relied on her relationship with Luke, which wasn’t strong enough

- yea, so that’s that

- the “jedi voices” scene was pretty cool though (AAAAH AHSOKA!! AND ANAKIN!! AND ALL THE OTHER JEDI!!), and I liked her yellow lightsaber (although she could have built her own lightsaber at the BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE, instead of carrying luke’s the whole time)

there are things I like about the sequels, mind you. a lot of things!! but there’s a lot I was disappointed in too.

congrats if you got this far, that was a LOT of salt

#star wars sequels salt #star wars salt #kylo ren is a bad person #anti reylo #pro finnpoe #star wars sequel trilogy #star wars sequels #the rise of skywalker #the last jedi #the force awakens #star wars #rey #finn #poe dameron #palpatine #darth sidious #salt #lot of writing #lots of thoughts #kylo ren

[ladylynse]

Perception: [FF| AO3] Valerie always took seeing colour for granted—until the day it went away. Soulmate AU (colours), Gray Ghost

Happy birthday, @ave-aria! You wanted a soulmate colours AU with Gray Ghost, and I swear once you get past the angst, happy endings exist. I promise. 

-|-

Valerie couldn’t remember a world without colour.

She hadn’t realized that she was different from anyone else at first. She hadn’t realized, for instance, that she saw colour where Star and Paulina and the rest of her friends did not. She had thought that perhaps colour was something different, something more.

She didn’t realize she’d had something to lose, not something to gain, until one afternoon the summer before grade nine. Between one blink and the next, the wondrous thing she now realized was colour vanished. Everything was less. Dull, bland, bleak, faded.

Washed out.

Forever.

The realization—the implication—caught her breath in her throat and spilled out as tears from her eyes.

Despite the vastness of the world, despite the fact that she had barely travelled outside of Amity Park, she had already met her soulmate—and they had died before she’d ever had a chance to know who they were.

She might be able to have a happy life with a similar unfortunate soul, but it would never be on the level it could have been, had she found her soulmate before this. Had she been able to be with them before all this, maybe even prevented their death.

But now they were gone, and there was nothing she could do except scan the obituaries in the coming days to see if she could find someone who was unclaimed. If she couldn’t find someone, or if there was more than one— She’d never know.

She’d never know who her soulmate was supposed to be.

Never know what life she should have had.

The light they had brought her had gone out of the world, taking the wondrous array of colours with it.

Valerie wiped at her eyes, but tears still turned the world into a swirl of grey. She didn’t know how long she cried, aching from a loss she’d never fully known. At some point she’d moved to her bed, burying herself in blankets as if imagining all the colour and light in her world were still there, would be there again once she let herself out of her self-imposed darkness, but she couldn’t bring herself to look.

When her father got home and found her, she couldn’t force the words past her throat and explain.

But it was the anniversary of the day her mother had died, the day her father had lost his soulmate, and he thought there was nothing more to explain.

They sat in silence, and Valerie eventually fell asleep.

XXXXXX

When Valerie woke, she opened her eyes to colour.

She didn’t understand it. She knew she hadn’t just dreamt its absence yesterday, yet….

Yet it was back, inexplicably but undeniably. She’d never heard of colour returning. It exploded into being the moment you met your soulmate, and it disappeared with death, extinguished with the other’s final breath.

She picked up the paper each day after her father had read it, just in case, but she recognized none of the names in the obits, and every person whose date of death matched her experience already had a soulmate.

By the end of the week, she very carefully, very strategically, wondered aloud if anyone had ever found colour again after the loss of their soulmate. Her heart leapt when Damon told her he’d heard stories of such things, though he hadn’t experienced it himself or personally knew of someone to which it had happened. But as he kept talking, explaining that colour grew into the worlds of those living with and loving someone other than their soulmate, that the richness of the hues deepened as their bonds grew stronger, even if they would never reach the vibrancy of a true soulmate, the sinking feeling in her chest returned.

She hadn’t needed to go back out into the world and meet someone before the colour had come back to her.

Whatever had happened was different.

XXXXX

It didn’t take Valerie long to realize that the colour was unstable. Between one breath and the next, it could vanish entirely. Sometimes, the world became filtered, bleached but not entirely devoid of colour. As far as she could tell, there was no rhyme or reason to it. No schedule, no pattern, nothing set off by her action or inaction or even her thoughts.

She was getting used to it. She wasn’t jerking like she first had, and she’d only screamed the first time the colour had disappeared again. It wasn’t giving her a headache any longer, either; sometimes, if the colour wasn’t there or wasn’t right, she simply imagined it as she knew it should be. It helped. Somewhat.

Not enough to keep her father from worrying, nor her friends and teachers.

She began to lie.

She didn’t know the truth, but she knew it had something to do with her soulmate.

She just didn’t know what.

Even if they were dying, lying in a hospital somewhere, balanced between life and death…. It should have settled by now, one way or another. It had been a month.

When the ghost attacks began, Valerie wasn’t as scared as she knew she should be. When her world turned grey again, it was nothing she hadn’t experienced before. The ghost attacks were new, of course, but she was already dealing with one impossible, inexplicable problem. Ghosts turning up in town when she knew Fenton’s parents were ghost hunters was hardly unexpected.

She hadn’t expected the supposed town hero to ruin her life, though.

And she definitely hadn’t expected to see his eyes blazing green when she first encountered him, nor to begin seeing shades of the same colour afterwards even when the rest of the world was grey.

It was enough to stay her initial swell of hatred long enough to listen to him. She didn’t regret it. As it turned out, she really hadn’t known the entire story. Of course, she suspected Phantom wasn’t telling her everything, but she thought she might be able to earn his trust and hear the rest eventually.

And it made her want to help him, if only in her own way.

Ghost hunting seemed like a sound enough release of her frustration at the hand she’d been dealt. It would keep her sharp, keep her fit, and—even if she planned to remain masked—give her the satisfaction of playing the hero.

Doing something to protect her town, like her dad had.

It had taken her a while to convince Phantom to train her. He kept trying to tell her to go talk to Maddie Fenton—something about Jack’s aim being terrible—and tried to tell her that he wouldn’t always be there to protect her. But that was the point. He wouldn’t be. Which was why she wanted to be able to defend herself.

He gave her his thermos and let her practice on him, but she wanted more and made sure he knew it.

When he first handed her a Fenton Lipstick, she raised an eyebrow at him. He knew her question without her having to voice it. “You need an ecto-weapon if you’re going on the offensive,” he said, “and that’s small and easy to use. It’s a good starting point.”

It was a good starting point—point and shoot, lightweight, no recoil—but between persistence and practice, it didn’t take her long to master it. (Her words, not his. He thought she could be more precise—not just hit the target but hit the target exactly where she wanted to.) She wanted field training. He didn’t want her out on her own, yet he refused to go with her, claiming he wouldn’t be able to protect her.

He didn’t seem to understand that that was the point.

Months later, when he presented her with more stolen FentonWorks tech, she took the ecto-gun without question. She knew what the gift meant. He finally thought she was ready for an actual fight, and she didn’t plan on proving him wrong.

XXXXXXX

She didn’t have the nerve to bring up the subject of soulmates until much later, on a surprisingly calm summer night that found them both on their backs in the grass in the darkest part of the park, looking up at the sky.

Her world was a strange mix of filtered colour now, greens and purples jumping out with easy brilliance while other colours were trapped in prisons of grey. Sometimes they all returned, but they no longer all disappeared. She didn’t know what that meant—or if it even meant anything.

Phantom was a ghost—a coherent ghost, unlike some she’d met with him by her side—and while he was probably too young to have found his soulmate before the end, he might know some stories. He might know the solution to her problem.

Or the reason she had it in the first place.

“Phantom,” she said hesitantly, “have you ever seen colour?”

He was quiet for a moment, knowing what that question meant, and she thought he might not answer her at all—or laugh it off if he did and make some joke. Instead, he whispered, “Yes.” She turned her head to look at him, his soft glow making his features easy to pick out, but he kept his gaze firmly fixed on the stars above. “I always thought dying severed that connection between people, and it does, sort of. My world isn’t as colourful as it used to be. It’s…dulled, I guess.”

She pushed herself into a more upright position to get a better look at his face and repeated, “Dulled?” It didn’t sound like her world—so many colours were just gone altogether—but….

“They’re still there,” he explained, finally flicking his eyes to her and then pushing himself into a sitting position. She mirrored him, fully sitting up even as he turned his gaze down to his hands, fiddling with his fingers and tugging at his gloves. “All the colours. They’re just…washed out or faded or something. Mostly. I think…. I think spending so much time here might have helped me get some of it back. There aren’t a lot of ghosts who see in colour. Most…most are separated from their soulmates, if they ever found them.”

“And you’re not?”

He laughed. It sounded…bitter. Harsh. She wasn’t used to it. It was so unlike his usual light laugh. “I’m a ghost, and I think my soulmate is still alive. How much more separation can you get?”

“You think they’re still alive.” The words tightened something her chest and settled unpleasantly in her gut, though she couldn’t explain why. “Your soulmate is still out there, and you don’t know who they are.” It wasn’t the same with her. She knew her soulmate was gone; she’d have a happy approximation of it at best, and that’s all she allowed herself to want, except in her darker moments when she wondered what could have been. But Phantom…. “We can try to find them, you know.” It was harder to say those words, to make that offer, than she’d expected. “You’re a ghost, but…. You could at least be friends with them, right? Even if they’ll want to find someone else?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. Finding them, I mean.”

Relief flooded her at those words, but the look on his face tempered it. He was afraid. Afraid, no doubt, of how his soulmate would react to the news. Of ruining their life with news of his afterlife. He still wanted the best for them, even though he didn’t know who they were. He was willing to spend his afterlife alone so he wouldn’t taint the happiness he assumed they’d find without him.

Valerie wasn’t much of a hugger, but she leaned over and wrapped her arms around Phantom anyway. He was stiff for a few terrified seconds before relaxing into her grip. He was more solid than she remembered, and…warmer, somehow, than he’d ever felt when he’d grabbed her to pull her out of harm’s way.

It was…nice.

She only felt a few tears soak into her shirt before the weight of him vanished from her grip and he was hovering above her. “I should go,” he said, his voice thick. He wiped at his eyes. “I…. I’ll do another quick patrol. You can go home.”

He vanished before she could find the words to protest.

Valerie had no way of stopping him, no way of tracking him back down, and instead flopped back down into the grass and stared back up at the starry sky.

She hadn’t noticed the transition, but she could pick out blues again—most evident by the clouds that threatened to obscure the moon—and she knew that meant something.

Her soulmate…. Something had changed. Getting better, perhaps? Maybe it had been a terrible accident, and they’d died on the operating table or something and been brought back to life, and now they were just…in a coma. Or something.

Except that didn’t explain why sometimes her vision was perfectly normal, as it always used to be.

And it didn’t explain why she hadn’t found any answers in the newspapers or online—be it in obits or the local news—when an accident that severe would’ve been reported on in a town as small as this.

She was still missing something.

And Phantom….

She didn’t know what to think about Phantom.

She should help him reconnect with his soulmate. It was the right thing to do, whether or not he could see it. They’d both be happier for it. If nothing else, it would give his soulmate some closure.

But she felt awful when she realized how happy she’d felt when he’d refused the idea. She treasured this time alone with him. If he found his soulmate again, that would change. It would have to change. And she didn’t want it to. She liked how things were, just the two of them.

She…cared for him.

More than she wanted to admit.

Even to herself.

XXXXXXX

The first time she saw red was the following fall. It wasn’t the autumn leaves that burst into brilliance around her; she’d have been too focused on the ghost fight to notice that. Trouble was, she hadn’t been focused enough. She’d made a mistake. She’d slipped on the ghost ice underfoot and went down.

She’d rolled, but she hadn’t been quite fast enough, and neither had he.

The ice shard only clipped her arm—she’d nearly dodged it, whatever he said—but it easily tore through her shirt and the fragile skin beneath. It had stung, sure, but she’d found her feet again and kept fighting. She hadn’t thought it was bad. She hadn’t even realized it was bleeding.

He’d managed to end the fight soon after that, finding strength and beating up the ice ghost she’d never seen before with an anger he usually managed to keep buried beneath bad puns. And when he came to her side, the first thing to fall from his lips was an apology. It wasn’t until he actually had both hands pressed to her arm that she finally felt the full force of the pain.

That’s when she’d noticed the red stain on her sleeve, visible even beneath his gloves, and realized she could feel every throbbing heartbeat.

“I think you need stitches,” he said. She could hear the underlying panic in his voice; he thought this was bad and didn’t want to say it more bluntly than he had to. “I’ll take you to the hospital.”

Her dad would kill her if he found out what she was doing—well, not really, but he’d ground her until graduation. And their insurance wouldn’t cover this. Assuming they still had insurance after everything that had happened. “Just take me home. It’ll be fine.”

Phantom frowned at her.

“No hospitals,” she repeated.

“Then I’m taking you to FentonWorks,” he said.

She was too surprised to protest when he scooped her up. “What? Why there?”

“Mo—Maddie’s good at stitches. Better than Jazz. And even Sam. And…and I’m not sure I could keep a steady hand right now.”

Valerie knew Phantom was teaching the basics of ghost hunting to Sam and Tucker, too, (Danny presumably got enough of that from his parents) but he never wanted her to go along with them. He claimed it was because it would be too draining for all of them to be out all the time, that it was more effective for them to take turns going out because they had grades to maintain and homework to do and she had her job at the Nasty Burger, but she’d always gotten the feeling that he didn’t want her out with them. That it wasn’t a matter of safety or consideration for how much sleep they got or free time they had. That it wasn’t simply that he thought her worse, and needing the one-on-one time, or better, and able to handle more on her own. It was…something else.

Something he wasn’t saying.

Or something she wasn’t saying. Or doing. Or seeing. Something she didn’t know.

It wouldn’t bother her if she didn’t have the feeling that she was missing something. She liked having Phantom to herself, relishing the times it was just the two of them and they were relaxing together on a slow night. But the way he avoided her gaze whenever she brought it up….

Maybe it was just that Phantom didn’t want any of them overworked. And maybe Danny wanted Phantom to teach his friends instead of them being taught by his parents so he didn’t get roped into more ghost hunting when he didn’t like it, but for Phantom to just go directly to FentonWorks and not intend to sneak in for something….

“It’s too dangerous!” she finally forced out, but he ignored her and starting flying. It was fine at first, and then he started going fast, too fast, and—

He turned them intangible before she could say something, and she instead had the disquieting sensation of knowing that the tearing wind went right through her.

She shut her eyes and leaned into him, not trying to talk. She didn’t really want to fight him on this; he had a better eye for injuries than she did. He’d been doing this for longer. And even if he healed faster, he got hit worse, far too frequently, and remembered too much of human life to misjudge this for that reason.

He still might be overreacting, but that would be…sweet, sort of. And his concern might lead to more one-on-one sessions, which would be nice. Not that she didn’t want to hunt alongside Sam and Tucker one day, she did, but…. She liked having Phantom to herself. Just the two of them, patrolling the town, fighting ghosts. Or stargazing. Or just talking. Making jokes and telling stories and enjoying each other’s company.

She opened her eyes when he shifted her and she felt cloth beneath her. He’d laid her down on a couch. The Fentons’ living room? He’d just…barged in here? The home of ghost hunters? For her?

“I’ll find Maddie,” he said, and he dove through the floor. Like he fully expected her to be in the lab even this late at night, like it didn’t even occur to him that she’d probably be in bed like most people.

Valerie stared at the spot where he’d disappeared, realizing exactly how much he was risking right now. How much he was sacrificing. For her.

She kept her good hand pressed over the wound, finally accepting why she could see the red staining her fingers for what it was.

Phantom might not be her soulmate, but he might as well be.

He brought more than just colour into her life.

As for her actual soulmate, well, she was still convinced they must have died that day, if only briefly, and something had severed their connection. She couldn’t think of any other way to explain the fickleness of the colour in her world. And just like she didn’t want to search for Phantom’s living soulmate, she didn’t want to continue the search for hers, either, half-hearted though it had been for far more than a few months.

She heard glass shatter in the basement, and her ears filled with the blaring sound of alarms, but they stopped a moment later. And then she heard footsteps on the stairs, a door opening and closing, and the soft pad of footsteps on linoleum. Phantom came into the living room with Maddie on his heels. He pointed at her and started to explain, lies and truths coming out of his mouth in equal measure, but Valerie didn’t try to keep track of it. All she saw were the phase-proof Fenton Cuffs snapped around his wrists.

He'd traded his freedom to make sure she’d be okay.

And it…it broke her heart.

“Please, you have to let him go,” she said, but her voice only came out as a whisper.

Maddie ignored her, instead calling for her husband to bring one of their first aid kits, and gently nudged away Valerie’s hand to get a better look at the wound.

Phantom hovered anxiously in her peripheral vision, never trying to escape. Not when Jazz stumbled down the stairs in her housecoat to see what was going on, not when Jack emerged from the basement with more than just the first aid kit and started scanning her for traces of ecto-contamination because her wound had been sustained in a ghost fight, not when Maddie was focused on stitching her up. (Valerie wasn’t going to ever tell Phantom he had been right about her needing stitches, but if he tried to gloat, she’d just say they were a precaution, nothing more.) He was still there when Maddie told her she was going to call Damon, and he was still there when Jazz brought her a different pillow and a couple of blankets.

He was gone when she woke in the morning, though the fact that Jack was absent from the breakfast table made Valerie wonder if he’d gotten free and was trying to lose Mr. Fenton or if he’d simply been taken downstairs for proper containment. She hoped it was the former.

The world felt bleak without him here, knowing he could be in danger because of what he’d given up for her, and her filtered vision seemed to match her mood. No cheery yellows or oranges this morning, though it seemed she could see the other colours well enough.

Valerie was halfway through a bowl of dry cereal (Jazz had warned her not to trust the milk) when she suddenly realized someone else was conspicuously absent. “Where’s Danny?” Really, she was surprised he hadn’t stumbled downstairs last night with his sister.

“Sleepover at Tucker’s,” Jazz said, overriding Maddie’s comment that Danny was still asleep. “Something about a science project.”

Valerie frowned. “We don’t have a project in science.”

“Maybe it was English, then.”

“But we don’t— Ow!” Valerie shot a glare at Jazz. “What was that for?”

“What was what for?” Jazz asked innocently, as if she hadn’t very deliberately kicked her house guest.

Whatever. Valerie got the hint. “You’ve gotta be thinking of the American Revolution one we have in history.” She didn’t know what Danny was really up to, but if Jazz was on board, it wasn’t going to be anything too bad. Probably doing some additional training with Sam and Tucker on the whole ghost hunting thing. She knew neither Fenton kid believed all ghosts were evil like their parents, and Danny was probably afraid that showing too much interest would get him dragged out on hunts to take out ghosts like Phantom—ghosts that didn’t deserve to be hunted down, whatever his parents believed.

She could understand how avoiding a family argument seemed like the more preferable option, especially on that front.

Jazz nodded. “Yes, that was it.” She had her spoon halfway to her mouth, but with a glance at her mom’s back, she set it back down in her bowl. “Why don’t I drive you home, Valerie? Save you the walk.”

Right, it was Saturday. She’d lost track. She checked her watch; her shift at the Nasty Burger didn’t start till two. More than enough time for her to track down Phantom if he wanted to be found, assuming he’d gotten free. She’d find some excuse to come back and save him if he hadn’t. She owed him that much. The idea of him being trapped because of her…. It didn’t bear thinking about. But she couldn’t hear him screaming, and that had to be a good sign.

“That’d be great, thanks,” she said, smiling at Jazz. Then, with a glance at Mrs. Fenton, “Assuming I’m free to go?” Maddie’s examination when she’d woken this morning had been cursory at best.

“I think you’ll be fine, sweetie,” Maddie said, looking over at them from the sink, “but I would appreciate you dropping by so I can check on it again. And I really don’t believe the tale Phantom told us yesterday, so I would also appreciate the truth of how you got that in the first place.”

“Right,” Valerie mumbled, quickly getting to her feet and picking up the bowl. “I’ll, um, yeah, when we have more time. I should really be going now.” She dropped the bowl on the counter next to the sink. “Thanks for everything, really.”

She fled, and Jazz followed her.

XXXXX

Valerie didn’t want to ask Jazz if she knew what had happened to Phantom right away; she needed to have something to tell Maddie before she showed her face at FentonWorks again, and if Phantom needed a rescue, Valerie would need to be armed with something, even if it was only a clever distraction. She concentrated on the easier subject instead. Granted, the last thing she expected when she worked up the courage to ask was a real explanation.

“What’s up with the project excuse? Where’s Danny?”

Jazz pressed her lips together and signalled to turn left, even though Valerie had already told her to go right.

“Danny’s working through some stuff,” she said slowly. “He doesn’t want to tell Mom and Dad everything yet.”

“Ghost stuff?”

Jazz bit her lip. Valerie waited for the lie, even though she didn’t know why Jazz would lie about something that was obvious to anyone who knew the Fentons.

“He thinks he found his soulmate,” she said.

Valerie blinked.

If Jazz was going for a lie, why pick that one? Most parents were happy when their kids found their soulmates. There wasn’t any reason not to tell them…unless you thought they wouldn’t approve. Not that they would have much say in the matter. Soulmates trumped parents. And Valerie couldn’t imagine someone the Fentons wouldn’t approve of.

“And he’s panicking?” she finally guessed. “Instead of being happy he can finally see in colour?”

“Not exactly. He’s just…. I think he’s known for a while, or at least suspected it. He hasn’t told it to me straight, either. I know more than Mom and Dad, but I’ve been guessing for a while. It wasn’t until recently that I realized that I’d finally guessed it right.”

“And?”

“And Danny’s Danny. He can struggle to talk to the people he cares about most. He shows his love through actions more often than words.”

Valerie frowned. She had a feeling Jazz was trying to hint at something, but she had no idea what it could be. “So where is he really, if he didn’t sleep over at Tucker’s?”

Jazz pulled over to the side of the road and parked the car before turning to Val. “He’s back in our lab, Valerie.”

“What?”

“Danny’s still in the lab. I can’t sneak him out when Mom and Dad are home. I need you to create a distraction.”

“Wait, what? Why’s Danny in your lab? Why do you have to sneak him out?”

Instead of answering, Jazz reached into her back seat and handed Valerie a package of firecrackers and a lighter.

Valerie stared at them and then looked out the window and realized that they were just down the block from FentonWorks. She turned back to Jazz. “You’re…you’re kidding, right? This is some kind of elaborate joke? Your parents wouldn’t just lock your brother up in the basement.”

“They wouldn’t knowingly lock him up,” Jazz agreed slowly, “but they don’t realize what they’ve done. He never told them, and they haven’t figured it out.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She had to be talking about something, hinting at it, but Valerie had no idea what it was supposed to be. She’d always gotten the impression that Mr. and Mrs. Fenton, while not necessarily the most attentive parents, meant well and loved their children. In a way that didn’t involve locking them up. Sure, from the brief snippets of stories she overheard in the hallway, it didn’t sound like Danny and Jazz exactly lived in the safest environment, but—

“Danny hasn’t been the same since his accident just before the start of school last year.”

Valerie frowned. She couldn’t remember anything about an accident in the school rumour mill, and she’d been at the top of it back then. But the timing—

That was around the time her soulmate had—

She’d never found any report of an accident like the one she’d been looking for.

She’d never found an obituary that fit the few details she knew.

“What…what accident?” she breathed.

She’d been seeing colour for as long as she could remember.

She’d known Danny for as long as she could remember, knowing his face before she’d ever learned his name.

Something inside Valerie twisted, and when she blinked again, she could see the orange in Jazz’s hair, and her skin—and everything else—no longer looked like it had been put through a blue filter.

“Please just set off the firecrackers, Valerie.”

How could Jazz be so calm about all of this?

How could she sit there as if this were normal?

Valerie fumbled for her seat belt and then for the door handle. She had…. She couldn’t just sit here, and she wasn’t going to set off some stupid firecrackers. She had to know for sure. She didn’t…. She had to figure this out. She didn’t understand.

But if she saw him again, face to face, she’d know.

Even before she asked.

Even before he answered.

She’d know.

He’d be able to see the question in her eyes, and his expression would answer it for her.

Or maybe just the feeling she’d get when she saw him.

Not that she needed any of that for confirmation.

Not really.

Not now that the colour had fully returned to her, and she suddenly knew why it had been taken away and come back in pieces ever since.

She didn’t know how this could be normal. How it could be true. Except it was the Fentons, so maybe this was normal, for them.

Jazz caught up to her as she reached the front walkway of FentonWorks and pulled her to a stop. “Back entrance,” Jazz said, and this time Valerie listened. She followed Jazz around the house and inside to the kitchen as Jazz explained, “He’s in the large containment unit. You just need to hit the button on the side to release the lock. If that doesn’t work, just…. Tell him you know. He can walk you through it.”

“What…what about the distraction?” Jazz hadn’t brought the firecrackers, and Valerie suddenly felt like a fool for leaving them behind.

“I’ll be the distraction,” Jazz said, gently pushing her to the side of the basement door. And then she screamed, high-pitched wordless terror that made Valerie’s skin crawl. The moment they heard footsteps, she started running, her scream fading and then cutting off. She was out the front door ahead of Jack and Maddie, and all Valerie could make out was some vague wailing about a ghost.

None of them looked back.

Below, the lab seemed too quiet. She couldn’t hear anything beyond the dim buzz of machines. Her heart raced in her chest, and she kept a firm grip on the railing as she descended the stairs.

Phantom floated near the top of the containment cell—some kind of reinforced glass, if Valerie had to guess—but when he heard footsteps, he turned to look at her.

He didn’t bother to mask the surprise on his face. “Valerie?”

He looked fine. He sounded fine. He was trapped, but otherwise, he was fine.

She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and approached the control panel. “Hey, Phantom. How do I get you out of this thing?” Jazz had said to hit the button, but there was more than one button. And she couldn’t read any labels with her world a sudden swirl of colour, blurred by unshed tears.

“Uh, I mean, I don’t know the specifics, but I think you just hit that one.” A blob of silver pointed to the button nearest to her. “The right one, not the big one on your left. The left is the flush, and I don’t really want to be sucked into the Ghost Zone right now.”

“Right. That would be awkward.” She didn’t sound like herself, but this didn’t feel real. She blinked and wiped the wetness from her cheeks.

“Are you okay, Val? Your wound—”

“I’m fine. It’s…it’s not that.”

“Then what is it? What can I do?”

It was everything. And he…he could hold her once she got him out of there. Reassure her that this was real. That it was happening.

“You can just be yourself,” she whispered, and she meant it. She squinted at the labels and hit a button. There was a hiss and then a faint pop. She looked up to see Phantom slipping out of a door in the top of the unit; the one at ground level was still sealed, as far as she could tell. A security measure, maybe, though she didn’t think it would matter where ghosts were concerned. She hadn’t met a ghost that couldn’t fly.

She blinked, and he was by her side, wide green eyes anxiously searching her face. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She felt like a fool for not recognizing his features before now, but she’d never seen Danny Fenton in anything less than full colour. And when her world had been thrust into black and white, she hadn’t thought to connect him to Phantom just because she was able to see Phantom’s green eyes. She hadn’t thought she had any reason to.

The truth was, she’d never looked.

All that time she’d spent with him, and she’d never realized it. How could she have not realized it? He was…. There was no denying who he was to her.

“How long have you known?” she whispered.

He frowned. “Known what?”

“You know what, Danny.”

He froze, maybe wondering exactly how much she knew, if he was mistaken about her knowing anything when he went by Danny Phantom when he was like this. She swallowed and didn’t break his gaze, and after a long second, he relaxed. “I’ve suspected it for a while,” he finally admitted. “And then, when you got hurt…. Val, I can’t lose you. The idea terrifies me. This—” he waved a hand at himself “—is bad enough, and…and not everyone becomes a ghost.”

“And you….” It sounded stupid, but she didn’t know how to ask it. “You really are a ghost. But then how are you…? How can you…?”

He took a step back from her. “It’s more like half ghost,” he said. He was giving her a nervous smile, and then there was a brilliant light, and when it was gone, Danny Fenton stood before her. The world seemed more vibrant than it had before. She hadn’t even realized the colours could be richer. “See? Human.” He stuck out his hand, but she wrapped him in a hug instead.

He was solid, like he’d promised, and warmer than Phantom had been, and—

“I know this is a lot,” he was saying into her ear, and she realized she was sobbing into his shoulder. She just…. She couldn’t stop. Wasn’t sure she wanted to stop, when it meant he was holding her so tightly in return. “And I know I should have said something earlier, once I knew for sure, but I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t…. I didn’t know if we were still connected. After I…died, or part of me died, or whatever. I…I know I lost something that day, but I don’t know what, and—”

“The colours were gone.” That was the simplest way to say it, mumbling it into his shoulder in between sniffs. “That first day, they vanished. I…. They were back the next morning. I didn’t understand it. Sometimes I could see them, sometimes I couldn’t, and sometimes they were… Dulled, like you said. There, but…less.” She quieted, wondering if he wanted to say something. When he didn’t, she admitted, “I didn’t know it was you. I…. I wondered, once it was gone, once I knew I’d had it to lose, but I never knew who….” Her voice cracked. “I’m sorry. I should have known. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay, you don’t need to cry,” he said, hugging her tighter and starting to rub her back. “I mean, you still found me. Even when you weren’t looking, you found me. Even when I…. Even when I didn’t want you to look because I thought the truth might hurt you. You still found me. You…. Valerie, that’s amazing, you know that, right?”

Her emotions flipped, and she started to giggle. Giggle. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d giggled, and now she couldn’t stop. “You can’t get rid of me that easily, I guess.” She pulled back and looked at him, unable to keep the goofy grin from spreading across her face. “After all, even death couldn’t keep us apart.”

This was new and terrifying and confusing and wonderful. She didn’t understand everything, but she didn’t need to. (Oh, she’d ask. She’d definitely ask. But she wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth, having her soulmate—her soulmate—come back like this. Come back to her, specifically. For them to be given a second chance.)

She’d always liked Danny’s company, even before her fall from grace, even if she hadn’t been able to do anything about Dash’s bullying. And she’d always been happy hanging out with Phantom and had treasured each moment that it was just the two of them. And now….

And now she knew, like he knew, that it could become so much more if they let it. If they worked together, gave it room to grow—gave themselves room to grow—and took care of each other, well…. They’d have everything they would ever need. Everything that mattered, anyway. They’d be able to lean on each other in the rough times. Tease each other and laugh together. Pick each other up and build each other up or knock each other down a peg or two if they really needed it. They’d discover new things and rediscover old, and….

They’d be able to live. To survive. To face life, together. And to love it. Maybe not every second—there always would be trials—but the hard times and finding ways through them would remind them to cherish the moments they had. To cherish each other.

They could be happy if they chose to be. If they chose to work together and to try.

She already knew she wanted to. And, from the way he was smiling back at her, or maybe the way his hands had found hers, she knew he wanted to try, too.

She had thought everything had ended the day colour had been stolen from her world, but it had only been a way of opening her eyes to what she’d missed before.

It had shown her a path, guided her back to her soulmate with each new colour she had begun seeing.

If she’d ignored it, it might have been an end. If she’d continued to think of it that way, her actions—or inaction—would have turned that to truth. She might have lost the colours entirely, breaking off her connection with Danny more effectively than the accident had.

Instead, the colours—and their initial lack—had given them another chance. It had been a new beginning. Their new beginning.

And her world would forever be more vibrant, more vivid, for the opportunity they’d been given together.

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