#But theres this wall between me and everyone else and i just cant

[lifeintheworldtocome]

anyone else feel like a constant fucking outsider. anyone else convinced that they will never truly be able to get it. it being interacting with other people

#like idk. i think its magnified by the fact that i just moved and i dont like fucking anyone here #but ive talked to like. my teachers. my counselor. maybe five students? this sucks. whatever #i feel like theres a wall between me and everyone else. and i cant get past it. i want to be friends with some of these people #but either i fucking suck and they dont want to interact with me. or i am just completely socially inept. maybe both

[yugocar]

girlies its day 3 of me going out to pride events only to experience Autistic Suffering. lets see if i can manage another night of sitting alone at a party gathering and writing in my notepad to cope

#im so exhausted i feel like i'll pass out #going to events esp alone is so hard because it just reminds me that no matter how hard i try i'll never be one of those people who is #actively part of communities and consistent activism #i physically cant do it #and its hurts to be reminded of that AND that fact that it will never be easy for me to form connections with people #it will feel for years like theres a wall between me and everyone else #its so hard not to hate my autism like this im going to be real with you #logs

[snowyballlz]

|| Carl Grimes x reader

summary: Theres always been tension between you and carl. the two of you had to go on a run together but the run ended up you two trapped in a cabin together what will happen?

You had just gotten out of your house and ready to go on a run with your best friend. you walk over towards enid and smile “you ready?”

Enid turns over towards you and fakes a cough “actually i’m feeling a bit sick so i don’t think i can go with you today” she looks away “but you can go with carl” she smiles

you scoff as you begin to walk away from her “no way in hell am i going with him” you roll your eyes. enid runs up to you, “well you cant drive and everyone else is doing things and he’s the only one free that can drive”

you’d always been scared of driving ever since when you first ever tried to and it didn’t exactly go well. you had swerved right into a walker crashing the car

“please y/n” enid pleaded “we need supplies, and just because i cant come doesn’t mean you need to cancel the whole run because you don’t like someone”

“fine” you scoff as you walk over towards carl and tap him on the shoulder. “cmon were going on a run” you say as you drop your bag at his feet and start walking towards a car

carl picks up the bag, eying you as you walked over towards the car he rolls his eyes and slowly followed you towards the car hoping into the drivers seat and turning the engine on

“so where are we going?” carl questions. you roll your eyes and pull out the map giving him directions “rick thinks that there should be lots of medical supplies here” you point to the map

“alright this should be it” you look down at the map then back up at the building before you hop out of the car, “okay in and then out no talking lets get this done quickly”

as you were scavenging through the shelves looking for medical supplies a walker comes up to you “shit” you say as you try to hold it back trying to get your knife out of your pocket. “fuck” you look down to notice you dropped your knife, the next thing you know you hear a bang and the walker drops in front of you making you see eye to eye with carl

“i had it you didn’t need to do that” you mumbled brushing past him continuing to look for more supplies. “why do you hate me so much?” carl says. you turn to look at him and scoff “I’m not one to like people”, carl rolls his eyes and begins to grab items off the shelves

sometime had passed and you both were on the way home “SHIT!!” you hear carl say as he slams on the breaks “theres a herd coming our way” carl quickly reverses the car. “we passed a cabin not to far before maybe we can seek shelter there until the herd passes?” he says

“fine” you roll your eyes. you both quickly get out of the car and run into a field where not to far away was a cabin

you both quickly barricaded the doors and windows because the walkers had followed you while you were both making a run for it. “guess were stuck here for the night” you groan as you sit on the floor

“i guess we are” carl shrugs. “don’t talk to me or even come near me” you walk off looking around the cabin seeing what was useful in the place

there was a bedroom with a double bed which you quickly claimed as your own you flopped onto the bed and tried to get to sleep hoping this would pass soon

it was a little bit later and you woke up to a sleeping carl next to you “what the fuck i told you not to come near me” you quickly sat up

“this is the only bed and no way i am sleeping on the hard wooden floor or the couch covered in bugs” he rolled over to face the wall

“fine don’t touch me don’t talk to me don’t even make a noise or i will kick you off this bed” you laid back down

some time had past and it had gotten freezing you began to shiver unknowingly waking up carl “are you cold?” he laughed

“so what if i am just shut up and go to sleep” you said in a monotone voice. but before you knew it you felt an arm wrap around your waist pulling you in

“what the fuck carl go away” you tried to pull away “your cold this will warm you up i’m also cold so deal with it, at least with our bodies together it’ll generate heat and we wont freeze to death”

you turn over to face him “why do you care about me even after being such a bitch towards you?”

“why are such a bitch towards me?” he says in return. you lay on your back and think about it “i don’t know why carl i think it’s because i’m scared if i get close to you something will happen, I’ve never been good with boys around my age and all of a sudden you pop up”

carl props himself up into his elbow and looks down at you “what do you mean your scared to get close to me?” his brow furrowed

“i think” you paused “i think since the day you arrived i kinda got a crush on you” you mumbled looking into his eyes

“you? y/n having a crush on me? carl” he smiled “shut up” you rolled over to face the wall but before you knew it carl grabbed your face with his free hand to make you look at him then pressed his soft lips against yours

your eyes widen at the sudden pressure on your lips, you slowly close your eyes kissing him back. he pulled away and looked at you “i like you too y/n”

you bit your lip looking up to him and slightly smile you nuzzle your head into the crevice of his neck and he wraps his arm around your body.

loll this is probably really bad please tell me what you think of it because i’m genuinely curious on what i can do to fix my errors and stuffs- anyway hope you enjoyed:) this is my first oneshot on here and yeah😭

#carl grimes x reader #twd x reader #twd #twd carl #twd carl grimes #the walking dead #the walking dead carl grimes #fluff #fanfic #fanfiction #carl grimes

[beetlebug-bii]

Heya, first of all im sorry for that terrible joke i made in the comment section xD

I'd like to request a Solomon x Reader

I'm a sucker for him and can't find good ffs or more like not much of him TT

Scenario:

Song to listen to if you want too

( hammock - then the quiet explosion)

So I've been thinking of a scenario where MC is kind of annoyed from the brothers always near them and clinging on them, so that they have no privacy.

Solomon ( who has a crush on them) sees that the reader is exhausted and takes her to a quiet place to rest with him ( the rest is your imagination)

I loved the joke so much lmaooo

Alright this is my first one in a long while so please cut me some slack! I did my very best so I hope you like it! O7

How To Cure Depression (Solomon x GN!Reader)

You

Cannot 

Be

Serious

This is the third time this week

THE THIRD TIME THAT YOU HAVE WALKED INTO YOUR OWN ROOM TO HAVE IT BE IN SHAMBLES 

IT IS TUESDAY!?!?

HOW IN THE WORLD

IN A HOUSE THIS BIG

IS YOUR ROOM ALWAYS THE CENTER OF ATTENTION 

OH THATS RIGHT

BECAUSE EVERYONE WHO LIVES HERE BREAKS IN

AND THEY START FIGHTS WHEN SOMEONE ELSE DOES THE SAME THING

You just

Cant

Take it anymore

Lucifer is always critiquing your organization and how clean the room is

Mammon is always stealing your stuff

Levi and Satan are judging your interests all. the. time.

Asmo steals your clothes for selfies

Beel gets food on the floor

and Belphie messes up your bed at least six times a day

Why do they always have to do this

They have their own rooms

Why cant you?

you are so sick of cleaning up after their mess

so tired of always having to mediate fights

and that's why you're here you suppose

You couldn't even handle being in the house to listen to their excuses anymore

So you came here

The courtyard of the Royal Academy of Diavolo

It's the only place you can even feel like you can breathe right now, and even now you're struggling to keep the tears in

You close your eyes and take a breath, your head resting on your knees

Theres a nice breeze today…

It smells like flowers almost…

You can feel the sun shining on your skin too…its so warm…you missed that feeling…

Wait a second

aren't you underground right now?

Why is there a breeze??? Even if there was a breeze, why does it smell like flowers?? 

And there definitely shouldn't be a sunlight feeling??

Finally taking a moment to look up, you lock eyes with the one and only shady wizard 

You almost want to sigh

There goes peace…goodbye peace…you will be missed…

But the way he's looking at you is…different

He's missing his signature smirk that always seems to be plastered on his face

Instead it's been replaced with something slightly softer…kind…

"Hey" he took a few steps forward

Leaning down next to you, and wiping a teardrop from your cheek

"...hey…" you said back, still unsure

Solomon sits beside you, leaning against the large stone wall hiding you from the rest of the world

"What happened?"

And with that

You broke

You cried on and on and on

Sobbing about how overwhelmed you were, how nothing you did was good enough, how exhausted you were all the time

You really hadn't meant to

But by the end you were just a bundle of tears

You were expecting a comment on how small your problems were

or maybe even a laugh because what did you expect? They ARE demons after all…

What you weren't expecting

Was Solomon gently taking your hand

And whispering a slight follow me

Gently he led you deeper within the courtyard, getting ever so slightly lost between the hedges

"Close your eyes" he said, with a slight smirk

and in that moment you werent sure if you should trust him

On one hand, he has yet to bully you

On the other, you might commit homicide if he starts now

You sigh and close your eyes

After a few moments of absolutely nothing happening you open them

And poof the wizard is gone

Are

You

Serious

He led you into what is basically a hedgemaze and then left!?

You huff, more annoyed now than you were before

You could go commit arson

You could ask diavolo so politely

He would probably say yes ri-

AAAAAAAA

you let out a short scream as a hand shoots out from within one of the hedges

You can hear Solomon laugh slightly from inside 

oh you motherfu-

The hand grabs you and pulls you in

After being yanked through the bushes, you find yourself in a small cove…

Flowers filled the ground, and the grass was so soft….and there was sunlight- how?

"Where…" you whispered, still a bit awestruck 

A place like this definitely shouldn't exist in the devildom…

"This is a little piece of home" Solomon explained, while taking a seat on the soft ground, "I made it with an illusion spell of sorts…I come here when things get difficult" 

You gently sat next to Solomon 

Taking it all in

Who knew the shady wizard had a soft side…

Solomon pulled your head down to his lap, one hand gently running through your hair while the other pulled out a book

He softly began to read

"I don't trust stairs…they are always up to something"

…huh

"Where do ghosts become pilots?...fright school"

…no

"Why did the cookie go to the doctor? It was feeling crumby"

…you were going to kill him

…but maybe later

You laughed and gently swatted Solomon's book of "1000 dad jokes to cheer up people with depression"

How sweet of him

Solomon laughed and poked at your cheeks

you really were beautiful when you smiled

Not that he could say that of course

…not yet

He wanted to savor this moment by your side for just a bit longer

Just the two of you

Safe in your little bubble

Away from the rest of the world

Solomon gently pet your hair until you fell asleep

Watching with a gentle smile

Before placing a small kiss on your forehead

He would give the brothers a piece of his mind later

#obey me #obey me scenarios #obey me headcanons #obey me imagines #obey me solomon

[hiemalstar]

my opinion on niragi and his controversy with chishiya/dynamics between them

introduction

wssup tumblr, welcome to my opinionated and probably overthought rant. todays rant is on niragi suguru and chishiya shuntarou from the hit series alice in borderland - based off the netflix vers. why? cause my ass has not gotten the manga yet; so all i can scrap is scenes from netflix and knowledge on character creation. 

so dont come at me if this is not accurate to the aib manga, i can assure that i will probably update this post or make a new one once i have bought and read the manga. time to start

opinions on niragi ; character, backstory, actions and final opinion 

we all know niragi is a narcissistic, self absorbed and of course, proclaimed psychopath by aib fans. hes confirmed a sex offender at the least, and he views everyone he believes to be below him as an object he can do anything to. this is proven in both season one and season two; he attempted to rape usagi not one but two times throughout both seasons- niragi assures he gets what he wants through violence and threats. 

narcissism - character  this narcissism and desire to get what he wants really shows near the end of season one, where hatter is announced dead. niragi uses his weapon as a tool to threaten people into voting aguni as the new leader of the beach, as he also pairs up with last boss. this provides some solid evidence of his narcissistic element, not to mention his cruelty towards everyone else. for example, in season two, when he crosses paths with someone who had failed their suicide, he acts as if he is going to put them out of their misery. however, he grabs the gun just to walk away, saying how they can suffer. 

psychopath - character this brings me to his psychopathic side. if you do your research, youd know nirgai lines up with the symptoms of being a psychopath. if you didnt know; - narcissism [rightfully proven] - lack of guilt : he does not feel any remorse for what he has done to other people, no matter how many innocent lives he ends or what pain he causes. he does not care as long as it benefits him.  - aggressive and reckless behaviour : this follows up with the explanation on his narcissism and lack of guilt.  these are just some symptoms, but theyre definitely some major ones of his.

backstory lets talk about his backstory. from a flashback on the top of the roof during witch-hunt / 10 of hearts in season one, we can see he was not treated fairly at all. he was used as a target by his peers, being forced to stay still against a wall while students [assuming they are the same age as him] threw baseballs at him. said classmates counted 'points’ depending on where on his body they striked him. to add onto this already fucked up situation, he had been told if he didnt stand still he'd be forced to eat rice with piss in it. this is just one scene, but who knows how many other things had happened to this man before borderland.   he says he doesnt know if he became twisted because they hated him, or if they hated him because he was twisted. if niragi had been twisted during that time, he probably would've fought back, but this cant be confirmed for sure considering his persona between borderland and the little we know about him in the real world cant be compared and contrasted as well as it could be with more evidence. 

actions now, im not saying his backstory excuses his actions. his past is no reason for him to attempt to rape [and he probably has successfully done this before to other characters] usagi and the amount of other fucked up things he had done. lets think about this for a moment; putting the rape aside and moving to the crimes he had committed involving murder, just put it into perspective. theyre in a world with no laws. theres obviously more people out there like him killing people just for the fun of it, or even to eliminate them from getting in the way. similar to how in solitary confinement, the girl with the blue dress (i cannot remember her name) plays queen bee and manipulates the group into lying to other players to kill them. for players like her and niragi, borderland is just another word for doing whatever the hell you want, especially murder. we see it everywhere in alice in borderland, even in the rest of the militia. the only action left would be his rape, which cannot be justified. 

final opinion here are my final thoughts on niragi as a character; hes not the best person ever, but its also not his fault hes such a horrible person. the way he was treated for probably most of his life probably really changed his personality and morals. once again guys, i dont justify him assaulting and/or raping people. i say hes a complex character and deserves more recognition and attention rather than always been viewed as this extremely evil guy from the inside out. even when at the end of season two, he was found in the hospital bed next to chishiya, he actually seemed like a normal and decent human being. however, this is obviously my opinion. tell me what you guys think! at the end of the day though, hes probably just an insecure, scared little boy always trying to validate himself and prove himself as a villain. he seeks the validation of being known above others, being able to feel better about himself through this. he has a huge superiority complex.

edit: another point about him being with chishiya in the hospital- when chishiya says he is going to turn his life around, niragi asks something along the lines of “you were a piece of shit too, huh?” he acknowledges his actions, and he knows what he did. 

dynamic with chishiya- controversy around their relationship 

and time for the most controversial part of this entire rant; niragi and chishiya. whats with their dynamic, and what can i say about it based on my speculations on niragi? taking into consideration what type of character chishiya is, it would and wouldnt work if they were dating. 

they definitely had some sexual tension [obv referring to the netflix series, if they had anything in the mangas lmk], and it was even confirmed by the actors. i believe the translation was that they had kissed in an unreleased part of the show, but they took out the scene. shocker. even if the kiss had been a mistranslated, the sexual tension still gives us enough of an idea. the reunition of chishiya and niragi but not chishiya and kuina also might say something about their relationship, or whether they knew eachother in the real world or not.  we know they dont have any memory of borderland, as proven from arisu and usagi meeting again, so what was the purpose of that? 

i dont really have much to say about the idea of them having a relationship; im cool with it, and it's gotten me interested with their personality dynamic. what do you guys think? this concludes my rant. thank you all for listening!! if theres anything else you would like to see me cover in the aib series, lmk. until next time. <3

#aib #alice in borderland #niragi suguru #niragi #chishiya shuntaro #chishiya #opinion #rant #niragi x chishiya

[palkiasupremacy]

Tell about your ocs pls 83

HI ofc i will !!! rn im Very fucking hyperfixated on my genshin oc so it will be abt him ...

his name is kou! hes an half adeptus (his father was an adeptus), and hes half liyuenian - snezhnayan.

he has been living in liyue his whole life – when he was 5, his mother had to leave liyue and go back to snezhnaya, due to her being in the fatui. they were in a very bad financial spot and she had no choice but go back. so in the end, she left kou with his father, who of course she trusted the most in the world. but sadly, she was wrong.

it was only a few months after when kous father basically got bored of taking care of him. he didnt want to have a child constantly being in his way, so he decided to just abandon him, leaving him in some private orphanage. (he thought of other ways to get rid of him though – leave him with another adeptus ( which wouldnt work because kous father was not liked by the other adepti; or send him to the house of the hearth – he didnt want to travel that far).

due to the fact that kous mother was constantly on the move, she didnt have an address that letters were sent to – instead, it was passed from one fatui agent to another. so when she finally recieved the letter from her husband talking about how he abandoned their son and is leaving them both, already 3 and a half months have passed.

immediately after, kou's mother went back to liyue, even if for a single day. she got kou out of the orphanage, and brought him to one good friend she made in liyue – baizhu, who only graduated from the akademiya a few years prior. (im still an akademiya student baizhu believer okay let me cope) from that day onwards, baizhu has been taking care of kou.

now all grown up, kou has been working in the bubu pharmacy for baizhu. he feels as if he has to repay him, despite baizhu constantly reasurring him otherwise. they dont really see each other as father-son, more like uncle-nephew (kou calls him uncle zhuzhu btw😭😭)

kou is a very secluded person, mostly due to his trauma from being abandoned as a child and the abuse he endured in the orphanage (which i wont get into here). also add autism to the mix and being trans, so the young adeptus feels like theres gigantic walls between him and literally everyone else.

when he was younger, he thought he didnt fit into the human society because of being a half-adeptus, and vice versa. but no matter what he does, he cant fit into any of them (its autism. i project HARD onto him.)

about relationships – other than the close relationship he has with baizhu, he sees qiqi has his little sister. but other than that, he never had any "real" friends – that was until gaming came into the picture, introduced to him by baizhu. he was frequently delivering stuff from to the bubu pharmacy to make as much money as possible, as it was right after he ran away (i hc that gaming ran away at like nearly 15 years old, and that hes 18 when we meet him ingame; him and kou are the same age, kou only a few weeks older).

the two of them instantly felt connected by each other, despite their personalities being complete polar opposites. but they had their similarities – very troubled family situation, feeling like they were alone in the world (+ both of them were early into their transitions - yes all my faves get hit with transgender beam. gaming included. kouming t4t to me.)

the two grew extremely close, being each others absolute best friends in the whole world, but with time, their friendship grew into something more – and they have been dating for a few months now.

thanks to gaming, kou started to open up to more people and made some more friends :3. hes good friends with xingqiu, bc bookworms. kou tells xingqiu about snezhnayan literature often.

other than that – kou's relationship with his mother consists of a monthly letter from the latter. both kou and his mother want to have a normal relationship and they miss each other terribly, but kous mother has to stay in the fatui due to now being a really high ranking fatui operative, directly working with the 7th harbringer, sandrone. (well its quite a stretch to call their relationship a purely work based one, but ill save that for a diff post about kous mother. iykyk) so once a month kou is visited by two fatui agents sent by his mother to check up on him – aleksander and adrianna. over the years all three grew really close, kou often dragging the two to visit his favourite spots in liyue.

last relationship – kou has an older sister. his mother was married once before, having a single daughter, but due to personal conflicts and her previous-previous husband not liking that she was in the fatui, they divorced, the daughter staying with her father. shes 9 years older than kou, travelling thru teyvat looking for inspiration for her clothes – she runs fashion shows all over teyvat, often collaborating with the chioriya boutique.

these two only recently started to get close after their mother made them meet up – ever since, they frequently write to each other and kous sister loves to send him clothes she sew for him. i dont have much more about her atm tho, still designing her.

ok . sorry for yapping a lot. and sorry if some rhings r confusing, i still dont have names for kous parents and his sister 🥲 heres some kou art, im working on his full ref sheet + splash art right now !!

[lvxybby]

it kills me to love you (Kai Anderson x Reader) Angst (it will get better <3)

Ive been part of kais cult for about 4 weeks now. we have known each other before his cult was formed. its been 5 months since he gathered people to join, but he never told me about it until he proposed the idea for me to join. me and kai have always been big on getting things our way and if that didnt happen, there would be consequences for the person. but never killing them. or at least that idea was never in my mind. i dont know about him. i dont know much about him anymore. hes gone mad. absolutely crazy. and theres this woman. Meadow. Meadow Wilton. That stuck up bitch. And she is all over kai. i mean all over him. it goes from doing his hair. to sitting on his lap. to all out make out sessions between them. and me? im jealous as FUCK cause of it. that fucking bitch. ive loved and cared for kai for 2 years! i have given him every last bit of my attention. but he turns a blind eye every SINGLE time. but meadow. oh no...she slits some guys throat and "oh dear god meadow! your the best! you've done so much for me!" In kais eyes. fuck him. im DONE with his bullshit. "Kai!" i heard winter shout from downstairs. "Kai! meadow is here!" she shouted again. i heard very quick, heavy steps walk in front of my door than trail down the stairs. i sighed before grasping my journal to doodle in. my pencil lead dwindled as i drew on the plain white paper. i pressed harder as i drew faster. and faster. the grey color faded into a shiny black as i drew more lines. i stopped to enjoy my drawing. ive been good at drawing since i was about 13 and took art classes in middle school. the drawing was just a really detailed drawing of some spirals, something in really like to draw. but now...i wasnt feeling it. i closed the book shut and threw it across the room. i focused on the sounds around me. i focused more and more. on the sounds. "kai! oh kai yes!" i heard very muffled through the walls. why couldnt i cry out his name like that. did he not want me around? did i not do enough for him? ive been TRYING for years to please him! i cant stand to be in the same house with meadow and now im barely able to be with him. i couldnt bear to hear meadows moans for longer. i stuff my phone into my pocket and grab my tiny bag that has my wallet and other essentials in it. i walk downstairs and see winter on the couch. "where you heading?" she asked. "i dont know... anywhere but here...i cant stand your brother anymore..." i said before walking out the door. i walked for a bit before coming across a nice park. im slightly familiar with it cause they have some bird feeders, and me and kai along with everyone else poisoned them all around the city. i sat on one of the benches. after about 30 minutes my phone began to buzz. i looked at it and saw kai was calling. i also saw he left 12 messages, that i had unopened. i looked at the screen before answering. i took a deep breath in. "hello" i said. "where the fuck are you?! why havent you opened my messages?!" he shouted through the phone. "kai dont yell at me...talk to me" i said a bit angered. "no fuck that! answer my da-" he was cut off as i hung up with him. oh fuck im in trouble.

#part 2 soon #kai anderson #kai anderson x reader #american horror story kai anderson

[megafaunatic]

idk if ur like open to randos in ur asks giving u media recommendations, but i would give anything in the world for u to try and give the k-novel 'return of the blossoming blade' by BIGA a chance... UR MY FAVE CONTENT CREATOR SINCE THE YE OLDEN TGCFMDZS DAYS SO I WANTED TO AT LEAST TRY LOLLL its like my favourite novel of all time and ive been trying to force it upon everyone with little avail, which i dont understand WHYY cuz its SOO GOOOD like it definitely deserves to have the same level of popularity w international fans as MDZS and TGCF had, but for now it remains a hidden gem.......... it's an insanely long novel i will nawt lie (1.5k+ chapters and updating everyday but only like 500smth have been tl'd into english on the fantl site Sky Demon Order[who also post semi-daily]) but its sosososo worth it i prommy..trust me..:smiles: it's a classic 'hero from the past who died a tragic and preventable(?) death reincarnates a hundred years into the future hiding his identity to teach the youth in order to keep the future generation from following in his footsteps and making the same mistakes he did' but without all the stale, predictable, boringness u'd typically expect from that specific genre... it's an incredibly comedic action novel that takes place in ancient china wuxia setting & focuses primarily on found family and those close familial bonds between the main cast behind all the sword fighty action (dont know how to fit this in anywhere else, but its important to me that u know the mc, chung myung, is the main casts grandpa.. hes their peepaw.. he shows affection by beating them on their heads). theres no romance at all, but i would argue that is a SELLING POINT for this novel like i swear it is so refreshing, the found family of it all means soo much to me, so much so i am now going to force it to mean so much to you too(this is a threat).... if u do gaf abt ships tho then maybe the doomed, tragic, best-friends-to-almost lovers tangchung yaoi and the love at first sight iseolsoso yuri might catch ur eye *LOOKS AT YOU* i genuinely really really feel like it would be straight up ur alley, like its definitely smth i feel would at least peak ur interest imo (chung myung, the mc, is probably my fave mc of all time..at eighty two years young, he IS the next peoples princess and i want to hit him with my car and then nurse him back to health just to hit him again.. i feel like u'd enjoy him like that as well).. im so desperate for more eng fans of this novel u cant see me rn but i am biting into a leather belt trying not to sob and cry out loud as im typing this this is so long im so embarrawsed so ill leave u here.. i hope my pleas have touched ur heart in some way and if the novel chapter count is too intimidating, ROTBB also has a webcomic on webtoons by the same name (season two of the webcomic just started ^__^ ) and the art is so good and funny and its a good way to get into the novel without being overwhelmed by the chp count methinks BUT i would definitely consider reading the novel mandatory cuz the webcomic only fills u in on so much.... ok. i hope u managed to get thru this insane wall of text, my bad.. until we meet again...*salutes* *revs up my motorcycle and disappears behind a cloud of smoke but when the dust settles i am laying dead on the floor*

ok so first of all i respect this so much 🫡 thank you for spreading your passion in the final moments before your motorcycle dirt death 🫡🫡🫡

second of all this does sound really fun !!! i have found it on sky demon order and i'll give it a try... BUT i gotta be real over a thousand chapters and only two hundred of them translated AND no romance is unfortunately killing me... i just dont know if i have the stamina for that... im a horrible little fujo if its THAT long theres gotta be some kissing!!!!! sorry 😭😭

for u i will give it a try but i can make no promises 🫡 i will consider chung myung my blorbo in law tho

[szif]

i pretty much dont feel grown because i barely understand basic concepts and cannot really do a lot of things most people do or get a grasp on them at least but i know thats technically fine that just means something else and also that everyone feels like a child blahblahblah but im really feeling it like there is simply no way i can keep any of it up so i don't know what will happen to me. i started thinking on how it would be fine if i got tossed into the very same mental hospital i worked at and its kinda like. there would be no difference between how people treat me now and how they do in there. and there would pretty much be no difference between how i act now and then like nothing would change except less screentime for me. its just feels kind of miserable like i dont want to think that i just want to you know be able to do things that arent just the basic motion & feeding my addiction and helplessness ...maybe im really just way too into this helplessness and once i get smacked against the wall a few times from every situation im forced to partake in i will stand my ground but its still shaky. its just like i want to be in a situation where they cant pull the rug under me and everyday kind of feels like that. theres obviously no more cps even though i vividly remember it and theres nothing that could really do that to me anymore but its still just. scary. like what am i supposed to. why cant i just go into a retirement home despite my age and just have people semi-ignore me but at least it would be way better for me. like i dont know

[whonsper]

tell me about the slimariana zombie au??? :O

YOUR FIRST MISTAKE thank you anon i love you

okay so picture this. qsmp. quesadilla island. the sun goes down one day and doesnt rise the next morning.

its a slimecicle centric apocalypse fic, following him from day one when he gets on the island. when the sun goes down and he wakes up to the night sky still. opening the door to check around and hearing the ungodly sound of a horrid creature with sagging skin and too-stiff movements, stumbling ever closer to him. his first time having to kill one of these creatures, bashing its head in with the closest thing he could grab, which ended up being a wooden shovel. the loneliness he felt as he sat in his hole-in-the-wall house, too afraid to even open his front door.

the islanders try going to the federation, surely this wasnt meant to happen, what happened to their luxury island getaway? the federation either cant or wont listen to them, its as if they cant see it at all.

the egg event starts, much to the shock of everyone. why bring children into such a dangerous environment? why would they bring more stress and danger to the islanders lives rather than solving the existing issues? but they try to make the most of it, slime and mariana pair up with their kiddo and take care of juanflippo as best they can ("welcome to my house!" "...wheres the rest of it" "....this is it. but i promise, we don't need a huge space, and flippo is happy here, right?")

the story follows through the everyday struggle to survive, what with their steady depletion of supplies, the daily fights between slime and mariana, and the added stress of trying to take care of flippa. the danger shes in at all times, her excited screams echoing through the trees, the blood trickling from a scraped knee, all calls to the zombies to their exact location. but theyd rather see her happy and deal with the consequences than lock her inside, wasting away and miserable

theres four endings as well! im super excited about them, and i think everyone else will love them too (or hunt me for sport, but you know, thats a form of love imo)

i dont know how to talk about this in a coherent way, but have some tidbits and fun facts!

slimecicle is missing a hand after he chopped it off trying to get wood one day. it regrew as a nerveless slime hand, with which he can vaguely hold things but cant feel anything. he just has to trust that flippas hand is somewhere in his...

flippa and slimecicle learn sign language together, both english and spanish, to communicate faster (especially helpful when theres zombied nearby)

theres a whole messy relationship arc that does end with mariana and slimes wedding

#pspsps #slimeriana zombie au #qslimeriana #qsmp #i dont wanna make this too long or overload it with too much boring stuff #i have so much more i could say but thats getting way too in depth into like. specific events and id be here all day #thank you so much anon i love you sorry it took a sec im at work #if anyone wants any more please feel free to ask or anything i love talking about this silly little au its everything to me #oh did i mention its called broken eggs

[scarsmood]

Animality

It’s a kink fantasy post wow who could have seen it coming! kinks: consensual nonconsent, stalking, sadism/kidnapping, pain, psychological torture I think otherkin get to sit at the unique opportunity to express sadism in ways most commonly only able to be kept as fantasies. I’ll definetly be dipping into harder fantasies today because I can and it’s a fun topic! I’ll have to pick up kink essays to explain some of these indepth and how to play safely you get the idea.  You ever see prey? Like looking through a crowd and make eye contact kind of prey. Like you know instantly your about to change fate kind of prey? I’d say I do. You see someone you just fancy a little bit more than everyone else and it’s as if your eyes follow them for you, no hassle just instincts. I think hunting is a fun activity, it’s intimate you get to know each other. It’s important to learn someones body language and trust me they know something is very wrong. when they start running it’s not really a matter of chase it’s waiting until they run out of energy.  Snarling at them between the crowds is a fun way to see someone stumble forward. When you watch them book it down the street its easy knowing you can give them free motivation to get moving. grabbing them in public is more fun though. Letting your claws sink into their wrist just for a moment watching them run off. it’s important to be careful these motions have to be swift to garner no attention. I think attempting to trap them in alleyways has always been a favorite. the growling really bounces off the walls. when their back hits the wall it’s my favorite sound. but why stop here? let them go. theres no reason to let them see this as over. Not when your ready to give them hell.  you already know them. they already know you. at this point it’s best to just let it play out. they cant do anything. they can run and hide but its just waiting for the right time and place. day after day after day. catching glances, giving gifts, speaking to them. isn’t that romance? debatable. there’s a connotation with romance theres a mutual bond that may not be the case. it a bond for sure but maybe more like an inevitable fate. If they make a wrong move. see you alone. they could be as good as done. you can hear their heartbeat and hands shake when you speak to them. maybe that’s from you or the toy. its hard to tell sometimes.  how far should you reasonably chase someone? I think that’s up for debate and depending on your exact scenario. All things come to an end. Prey has to be caught dragged home and kept somewhere. I think the ambush was a nice touch. theres nothing like tackling someone to the ground with your teeth on their skin. Ripping clothes, It’s orchestrated and planned it sounds like music. So when you let them go only to do it over and over again. How could you ever stop? how far should you reasonably chase someone?  so you stand over them miles in the forest. tie their arms and legs together and start dragging them back to your car. unceremoniously shove them in there. Terrified is the new friendly and afterall you bit them two weeks ago if they thought that was the end of it well. that’s their loss I suppose. start the car adjust the rearview mirror and look them in the eyes.  it’s time for ice cream. It’s been a long two weeks. they did pretty well all in all as prey. take a knife cut them free kiss their face and off we go. Sitting outside talking about the tense moments, the almost gotchas, the actual gotchas, talking about what they liked. what really made them scared. what you liked and what made you really excited.  and they say predator and prey can’t get along /s

#afterdark #erokin #otherkin #therian #bite pack

[bingobongobonko]

im so fucking sleepy but also. OHHHH. OHHHHHH. YESTERDAT OHHHHHHH. guy who made a looney tunes entrance into the wall and immediately started arguing with kass because her clone fucking tried to kill me. and then she doxxed my mech and was like. can you even fucking USE that thing you senile old man. and then i one-shot crit a guy before looking her right in her direction. we stay sssoooo sillay we stay sooo sillay. rp wise, oh myyyyvgod they were arguing for half the fucking fight. mostly yves feedin it and getting on kass's case, accusing her of knowing she had a shitton of clones running around even though she had NO idea. but yves i mean. reasonably mad cuz she shot him + kidnapped elias + saw The Nothing. and yves finally met Treasure, freaked yhe fuck out, before realizing that the Treasure understood their reality and had witnessed all of this before. and honestly yves is desperate to not feel absolutely fucking unhinged about this so he breaks into private comms and begs him to help them figure out how the fuck to leave the timeloop. but.... very cryptic response, maybe hopeful. they just gotta bury the clown. before yves can get further word in, his comms suddenly jam and he's forced into battle. battle continues 2 go on, until rest of the team makes it to the control point, but TWO[2] issues, yves is kinda still trudging thru water to get to the point, and the point is being contested by a big guy. so i enter sillaaaay juggernaut mode and slam right into this guy with my mech, pushin him way back from us. HOWEVER. it doesnt go prone and retaliates next turn 2 contest the point. HOWEEEEEVER... telly fucking dives in, pins, and drills the fucking big guy. A crit. no less. guy is still standing... then fucking TREASURE.... COMES IN AND JUST STABS IT 2 DEATH... OVERKILLL... ANOTHER CRIT. so its a flawless fucking win, we have the point. at that rate we're like. aaaalright we gotta get the hell out of here actually, telly's all suspicious abt yves having been gone for so long but yves just kinda says. lol we were kidnapped yeah. for the most part everyone believes that - except jeurgen who just finds it suspicious that yves isnt elaborating. while thats happenin, skink's out and about lookin around these rooms she found. one's just a rreally shitty dormroom filled with bunk beds. the other? well........... after yves explains the situation - or at least what he wants them to believe - he turns back to elias, who i forgot 2 mention has been in the mech with yves the whole time. expanded compartment, he's just hangin out and tryna not to die. but yea yves just rambles to elias about the whole ordeal. about skink. about the fact that he overheard from tellius that elias had seen the same woman before. he knows who skink is. and he knows there's seemingly more than one. and one in helios, ironically enough. and its rlly funny cuz this is happening at the same time that skink's opening this upper room and realizing whats in there. so like as soon as yves assures himself, yeah skink is one of many clones, and one of her clones IS the Fool. flash to the actual room where skink is, its fucking filled with like. chambers.... of HER.... a bunch of clones........... and shes like. Oh. and telly, jeurgen see it too. and theyre like. Oh. theres also a terminal that we uncover, all of which details messages between a skink and someone else. and all of it is eerily descriptive of everything that happened now. everything thats gone wrong, the Fool's had her hand in it. her clone is the reason why any of this is being initiated...... funny thing. i cant even say clone. bc the fool IS the original skink. our skink's a clone of her. so...... head in hands... i know widow was brought up, was a program on yorrik 5 if i remember correctly. elias knew about it, cuz he was tasked to keep an eye on the woman that made it off. The fool!!!!!!!! it's all fucking falling on our head i think. we're sooo fucked we're so fucked

#besides that funny rp moment when skink is like #Yeah im a clone i guess. I should apologize abt her ig #and jeurgen and telly are like... no youre fine thats not you #and yves fucking bellows thru the comms #YOURE A FREAAAAAAAK #hes so nices hes sooo nice #its not said maliciously but its practically goading

[mothlegs]

nightmare today woooo

cws for very brief (single lines) mentions of suicide and child sexual assault ( :( )

dresmtt. my adult where i live was leaving me which is based on irl stuff (irl hes not gonna be my adult anymore, it do be feeling like abandonment), some conflict between othet kids, my whiteboard went missing (it's already missing irl but i guess i had a second one in this dream?), talked to sleepy about yttd and wanted to show my "RANPO KINNIE" doodle (ranpo was in yttd in my dream apparently and irl the doodle is in my bathroom, not whiteboard)? oh and briefly a kid from my first group home was there but her name was Mathilde instead?

somehow end up dating my crush? he was laying on my chest and then kinda just put his mouth to my neck- not in a bititng/kissing way though?- and very clumsily asked to date me

S (evil) and B (beloved) were there and said something about thinking that wouldntve happened before christmas lol

in the dream im sharing my room with B, like our beds are so close it's basically the same bed

somehow i have a cigarette and im smoking out the window till S almost catches me several times. there were people outside and at one point there was a cow and a child with a cow head

oh also the rooms were like. a balcony sorta? like my room was outside and i had to walk past everyone elses windows to get inside

it kinda switches between me n B sharing vs not sharing rooms? like sometimes her room is next to mine and she has a cool balcony and sometimes theres nothing there and she shares with me.

anyways. S thinks im doing shit w my crush/dream bf, im not, he pokes his head out of his window to look at me? she also says something abt X (fellow kid) thinking hes above things and so another kid raped him?

idk why but im trying so hard to get cigarettes in this dream (ive never smoked irl??) and think my crush could get me a pack (he could irl) so im making all these plans to try to ask him ??

but then theres like. walls between the balconies. and a principal? and a slot in the wall where theres a box, and he takes it out, and shows me? i think? something? and at the time i dont really know what, but he then shows me these different disturbing faces and tells me to hope...for one of them, bottom right corner, it was something about gods i think. hope that what i saw was...something i dont remember. each of the faces were pale, wrinkled, hairless, and grimacing widely, showing many teeth. kinda scp-096ish? but a more human face. there was another set of pictures where they were screaming

and then the principal took a revolver out of the box and shot himself in the head

i woke up my crush to ask him about it. his phone charger was too short so i had to hold his phone at an odd angle to show him. i dont know how they got on his phone but they were. something about his home screen bothered me but i cant remember what. his clock/whether widget was beating in the background, like going bigger then smaller then bigger yknow, and he had various functions on the main screen, pretty much like mine but with more stats?

first i show him security camera footage of what happened, of...something. a creature, running up and screaming. i dont think he had much reaction to this

and then i show him it first-person. this is what i saw, apparently, but i think i saw it before the principal came to me. we watch it twice and he starts freaking out, and then it comes for us and i wake up

i still hear its screams very clearly. it was pale and wrinkled, like an old woman i guess, and had long straight yet...stiff, white hair. i think it wore a dress, kinda like a night gown, and had these...vine-like thingies around it

it was something related to gods and/or demons, it was supernatural in a (un)holy sense

it only came for us because i showed him

i still feel all tense just thinking about it

#dream #dreams #dream log #dream journal #nightmare

[that-insufferable-varmint]

anyone else ever feel like you just cant play games the same as everyone else around you anymore? like it feels like theres just this wall between me and learning things and i cant react to things as fast anymore, i feel like theres something wrong with my brain and im just slow. Its scary, cause i cant do things that everyone else just sees as normal

#vent kinda #not really sure what to call this #but im just feeling like im stuck in a pit and cant get out

[lauranyx]

Another dream post

Thing to note, this is the 2nd time that I could remember a dream where someone broke in but this time they actually stole something. Plus there was an accomplice.

So the dream takes place in siva (maternal grandparents house) practically the whole fam bam is there. We were all in the master bedroom chillin. I remember my youngest cousin being in the center of attention. She was also being rude about something in a naive way but thats just cuz she doesnt know better so everyone was tryna correct her on how to ask someone else for a favor.

It was nearing dinner time so everyone headed down. I was the last to leave the room. While I was leaving I handed my dad an old ice pack but my being a dumbass didnt realize that its old/broken and obv. not activated cuz its been hanging off the wall. We were tryna see how to get it cold (its one of those packs where you gotta press a button for it to become cold) then we noticed there was a hole in the corner so I went back into the room to actually look in the fridge for an ice pack. While there, I hear some noise coming from somewhere else in the room. I thought it was just my lolo coming back cuz he forgot something. So I didnt mind it and went back to my dad w/ a functional ice pack. We both went downstairs to the dining room.

Someone makes a comment about lolo beinng late so I said something to the essence of oh he’s just upstairs. And they were all like no he went outside. Then lightbulb moment. Fuck theres an intruder upstairs. So I rush up kinda quietly; actually see the intruder/thief. The thief was some old, curly-short-haired lady. My boice was caught in my throat. She rushed downstairs to the front door to leave. I try to shout at her; I struggle to do so.

We’re both outside now. I can finally yell out “magnanakaw” ( doesnt really do anything. No neighbors came outside to investigate the ruckus. My belief in humanity is dead in this dream lol) so chase her. She goes round the back of the house. I notice an old man just sitting down. Kinda sus but whatever. She gives me the slip and heads back towards the front of the house. She now shows shes in cahoots w the old guy. I’m chasing them up the street. I catch the woman first and threaten her to give back everything she stole — side note: everything spoken between the thieves and I was in filipino idk why— so she started emptying her pockets; showing me my lola’s earrings, rings, necklaces, and other jewelry. I pocket everything after. The man stands by us unmoving; just watching us.

After she supposedly shows everything she stole, I figure she had time to hand over to the guy some things or maybe he was there with her or before that even. so he might have some stolen goods of his own. (Apparently I’m like super strong in this and these criminals were on the smaller maybe even lighter side) so I snatch him up too. But in doing so I can’t search him so I head back to the house with my captives clutched so hard in both hands.

I might actually have been lifting them up or just dragging them. Idk.. dream details are hard to remember rn. Anyway!

Back to the front of the house, I ring the doorbell. A male family member comes out (cant remember which anymore) I ask him to search the guy cuz they stole from the house.

At this point I wake up so.. the end ig lol but whew.

After actually waking up to real life. I questioned internally what could having this type of dream mean.. so naturally i had to share my dream here lol. So i don’t forget :p

Does having a dream where your house been broken into and robbed mean anything?? Who knows 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

#dream blogging #dream posting #i was robbed #but i chased down the thief and won #got my shit back #well it was actually my grandmas #what does this even mean

[laceandcorneredthought]

regress, progress, regress, progress, regress

i wonder what it all means, sometimes

i wonder what im meant to mean

i wonder what im supposed to be, supposed to be doing

i never know the answer and im afraid i might never

how can everyone else see everything so clearly

its like im the only person running this maze with a blindfold on

sure other people get lost too, but at least they know what direction they're coming from

and maybe which one to pick next

as for me, i cant tell the difference between the way the leaves on this branch feel compared to another

im not sure if i was facing the sun at the start of the maze or if it's moved in an entirely different direction now

do i keep stumbling? do i live on, doomed to be frustrated for eternity? will i ever make it out the other side of the maze with the others? will i be congratulated for surviving the maze blindfolded, or will it have just been expected from me, to have done as well as the others, despite my deep and difficult handicap in the situation?

i suppose theres never anyone to congratulate us at the end of our mazes anyway.

and what does it all mean, in the end? what was the purpose of the maze? killing time until the walls closed in and i realized that there was only one path left? the only path there ever was, from the very beginning. maybe the maze wasnt a maze but instead a funnel, starting out wide enough for many friends to join you on the journey but eventually casting them all aside so just one squeezes through at a time.

we all die alone in the end