Come back to me
TW: Dissociation, mentions of flashbacks
Notes: Gender neutral mc || Because I've been spacing out and dissociating more often recently and need the comfort || This might be the shortest thing I've ever written *Pats self on the back*
You had been off all day, that Kenshin could see. He could see it in the distant look in your eyes as you looked around yourself, not quite there as you seemed to almost look through everything. Not really seeing anything that was infront of you as you only vaguely seemed to acknowledge what people were saying, the distant hum of voices in he background as you were swept into your own mind.
He hated when you got like this. It made him angry almost. Not at you of course but at whatever had made you so distant. He knew there was more to it. That whatever was plaguing your mind wasn't pleasant. But you couldn't quite escape it.
He was familiar with the feeling. The nights that he had spent more in his own mind than anywhere else as voices whispered things that he could only just make out, as if him mind was blurring their words for his own sake. He was certain that he wouldn't have liked whatever they were trying to say.
He didn't know what it was that kept you so far and he wouldn't ask if you didn't speak first. Oh, how he wished wished there was more that he could do for you, that he could do something to fight off whatever claimed your thoughts.
He knew he couldn't but he hoped that you could feel his arms wrapped around your in the fog that muffled your mind. That you would feel his love for you as he pulled you against his chest after leading you to your room. That you would feel some sense of stability with him even if you weren't fully aware of it. That you would soon come back to him so that you can be rid of those thoughts even if just for a while.
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| loki x reader | fluff |
soft Loki blurb: helping you sleep
(not explicitly relationship or friendship)
You couldn’t sleep.
You watched lights flash through your thin curtains as cars drove past the compound, their headlights casting beams of light into your room every few minutes. The whir of their wheels on cement made you uneasy, and you tossed and turned in your sheets.
The clock had small numbers on it, signaling that it was way too late to be awake. You were unsettled, and your body wouldn’t relax enough to let you drift off. Your mind was running a mile a minute— going over debriefs of past missions, plans for future missions, and all of the anxieties that accumulated during the day.
You sat up, running your hands through your hair and looking around the room. You slipped out of bed, wandering to the kitchen, thinking maybe you could relax if you ate something.
The fridge was mostly empty, and you resided yourself to eating ice cream out of a pint while you sat on the counter. The metal spoon was cold against your tongue as you spooned it into your mouth.
“Why aren’t you asleep?” You turned at the sound of a voice, a light Norse accent on the smooth words.
You almost dropped the ice cream, closing the pint quickly when you saw Loki.
“I couldn’t sleep,” you confessed, and he came to stand between your legs.
“You’re not going to share?” Loki asked, pulling the top off of the ice cream in your hand.
You dipped the spoon in and fed him a bite, the god obviously not caring that it had been in your mouth.
“I’m sorry. Why aren’t you able to rest?” He asked, brushing some hair from your face and gently tucking it behind your ear.
“Too much on my mind I suppose,” you said, watching Loki finish the ice cream before disposing of the carton.
“Can I help?” His hands rested on your waist, his body positioned between your knees.
You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck and letting him carry you back to bed. You smiled when he laid under the covers beside you, gently pulling the blanket up to your shoulder.
“I can’t relax,” you whispered in the dark, the little bit of moonlight catching the shine of his eyes.
“Watch this,” Loki whispered back, having an idea.
He intended to distract your mind with his magic, and he held his hand up between you. Tiny fireworks bursts from his hand, shimmering in different colors. The magic sparks landed on your skin, making you feel sleepy, likely a product of his spell. You smiled, mouthing a soft thank you, and drifting off as you watched the tiny fireworks display from his hand.
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Hello! I really like your writing and I find it very enjoyable to read. I was wondering if you could please do one where Zhongli and reader go on a beach day with their friends and reader is a bit nervous to wear a swimsuit but Zhongli hypes them up. (NSFW and/or SFW) which ever one your conferable with :)
yay!! thank you so much, i'm glad you enjoy my word vomit <3
prompt: zhongli + an s/o [gender neutral] who is insecure about wearing a swimsuit
cw: suggestive content! implied sex, mentions of body insecurities, slight possessiveness
The bustling noises of Liyue Harbor rising to greet the day stirred you awake from your slumber. Seagull cries and sounds of the rushing tide welcomed you back into the world as your eyes were greeted by the brightness of a warm sunrise. Strong arms decorated in black and gold markings held you securely in place as your lover drew soft and gentle breaths into the nape of your neck.
In your groggy state you turned around to look at him, taking his face in the palm of your hand as his amber eyes—reflecting the aura of the sun—fluttered open to greet you. The soft smile that adorned his features and the lovestruck glint in his eyes reminded you of how absolutely ethereal your partner was. He returned the gesture by placing his hand on top of yours and pressing a small kiss to the inside of your wrist.
Lord, his morning voice was something else.
“You look like you slept well,” you teased.
He chuckled, his smile widening.
“I did, actually.”
Closing the distance, Zhongli moved to place a brief kiss to your lips before pulling away to look at you adoringly.
“Think we should get up?”
“Yes, I suppose we should,” he sighed. “Celestia forbid we keep Childe waiting.”
You hummed in agreement as you reluctantly moved to free yourself from the bed sheets, and unfortunately, Zhongli’s arms.
After breakfast, you had excused yourself to change into some recently-purchased swim wear that seemed quite promising at first glance. But as you turned to look in the mirror, you began to doubt your better judgement. The piece looked lovely, but the figure that it held together seemed to be lacking. Not to mention it exposed quite a bit of skin, which wasn’t a bad thing necessarily, but it did make you feel more vulnerable to others' eyes.
It’ll have to do, you thought.
As you were fidgeting and trying to convince yourself that it wasn’t that big of a deal, Zhongli stepped quietly into the room as he had just finished preparing the food for the day’s beach trip; a result of a friendly competition between Childe and Klee over who could catch more fish. You and Zhongli were meant to be Childe’s witnesses when he “destroyed that little arsonist at her own game.”
Your lover had decided that while Childe was occupied with defending his pride, he would take you to see a few of his favorite scenic spots along Liyue’s coastline, and was going to ask for your opinion on the matter, but decided to hold in his question when he noticed the troubled expression you wore while examining yourself in the mirror.
“Is there something wrong, my love?”
“Oh! Zhongli, does this look okay on me?” you asked, turning around and stepping back to give him a full view. “I like the style, but I’m not sure if it really suits me…”
Zhongli placed his hands on your shoulders and looked you up and down, even if he already knew what his answer would be.
“Nonsense, it compliments you very well. In fact…”
Suddenly, he spun you around while his arms snuck around your waist from behind. His face was so close to yours that you could feel his slight stubble rubbing up against you.
“You look practically delectable like this. I might just have to cancel our plans so I can have you all to myself.”
You let out a soft sigh as Zhongli began trailing feather-light kisses from your cheek down to your neck and shoulder, before retracing the same path he created with his lips. He pulled away all too soon however, leaving you weak in the knees while he moved to grab your things.
“Unfortunately, changing plans was not explicitly stated in our contract, so for now you needn’t worry about being unable to walk.”
You watched him with wide eyes and a flushed face at the nonchalance of his words as he leaned in to whisper something in your ear.
“We will continue this when we return.”
Zhongli then pressed a loving kiss to your cheek before pulling away and flashing you with a smile that left you impossibly even more dazed at his actions. Before you could blink, your lover was already a foot out the door with all of your luggage in hand, leaving you to scramble to pull yourself together and follow after him.
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request from friend !!:D : "bakusquad boys (separate) reacting to readers self harm scars"
warnings : past self harm ... established relationship with hanta, denki, and eijiro ... lowercase intended ... no prns used
<3 HANTA SERO
hanta was extremely worried at first when he first sees your scars, weather the first time he sees them is simply cuddling in his dorm or training
will ask you about them if you're in private
if people are around you hanta will store the thought in the back of his mind and take note to make sure nothing happened to you
￼ after you explain the markings he'll run one of his fingers along the scars with a smooth and feathery touch giving you goosebumps
<3 DENKI KAMINARI
denki was confused at first, he hadn't heard of you getting attacked by a villain or even being put in recovery girls care for any reason
it didn't take a lot if explaining though, he quickly understood just by the face you made when he brought them up
denki would learn how to use concealer and help you cover them up if you wanted to do so
or if you wanted to show of your markings he would support you the whole way, praising you for being so brave and open
<3 EIJIRO KIRISHIMA
after eijiro saw your scars the first time he would understand mainly
kisses your scars carefully
similar to denki, he would learn enough about makeup weather it be from one of the 1-a girls or scouring the internet to help you cover then up nicely if that was what you wanted to do
eijiro would also encourage you to be open about you story after becoming pros to show younger kids and give them a good mentor
<3 KATSUKI BAKUGO
the respect you gained from him was unreal
bakugo saw you in an entirely different light
once the two of you began dating he would demand to know ask what had happened to your [ie leg]
extremely overprotective when it comes to other insulting or poking fun at you, not knowing if you would ever even think about going down that path again
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Description: the last thing you expected when you got on that train was to end up at the hospital with your ex by your bedside, but sometimes, not everything goes as planned.
Content warning - gunfire, injuries, hospitalization (but no deaths!), angst and fluff
You were on the subway when it happened. Just on the way to work, everything painfully regular, sipping your iced tea because, as usual, the air conditioner on your shitty train line was broken.
So, yeah. A day like any other, except it wasn’t. But you didn’t realize that yet. .
And then suddenly, everything went surreal, like one of those paintings that you were forced to curate, even though you much preferred the new ones with their smooth contours and diverse settings, or the old ones with their soft colors and careful brushstrokes.
And here you were, thinking of paintings when there was an active shooter in your subway car, firing wildly.
You dived down, taking cover under one of the benches, dragging a pair of little kids down with you who seemed too scared to move, eyes filled with tears.
“Shh, it’ll be okay,” you murmured. This could be a complete lie, for all you knew, but you didn’t know where the hell their parents were, and they were shaking.
You dialed 911, explaining the situation in a hushed tone, accompanied by frantic glances up at the man who was still shooting, mostly at the walls and windows now, and shoved your phone back into your purse.
And then the train was stopping. The train was stopping, and there was a clattering outside, and the man was reloading his gun, but he didn’t have enough time. He didn’t have enough time because the police were bursting into the car, guns trained on him.
He looked around wildly for a way out, but there was nothing. You could see it, and you saw him realize the same thing, something going hard in those wild eyes.
He still tried though, dropping his gun and attempting to push through the crowd of officers, almost animalistic in his attempt.
They restrained him in no time, thank god, and things began to melt back into what seemed like reality.
The two children pulled up against you were crying, and you rubbed their backs gently, smiling a little as their mother came rushing over. They barely noticed you, but that was just fine.
It looked like one man had gotten hit, but only in his leg, which was good.
You stood up, and everything tilted just slightly to the side.
Was that blood on the floor? You looked over at the two kids, concerned. Surely one of them hadn’t gotten shot? You’d have known. There would have been even more screaming.
“Miss?” You heard a voice to your side, and looked over, vision a little fuzzy. You were shaking. Why were you shaking? “Miss, we’re going to have to get you off the train, you’ve been-“
Your adrenaline was fading away, and with it came a stab of pain. You looked down, and realized where all that blood had come from right before you passed out.
Everything was fuzzy. You couldn’t see much, but you could hear hushed voices, feel the layer of sanitary paper beneath you, slightly crinkly when you flexed your fingers, which was about all you could manage right now.
You could also feel a dull throbbing, an almost-numbness.
You wanted to ask what was going on, what had happened, if you were going to be okay, if everyone else was okay. But you couldn’t make a sound.
Then you smelled something odd and you were gone.
The time after that was hard to keep track of.
You were in and out, and you could only remember little flashes of things. A face here, the sound of wheels squeaking across the floor, the aching feel, the beep-beep-beep of a heart monitor, speeding up and then slowing back down as you slipped in and out of consciousness.
And then odd things, like yelling, and a commotion outside. A face that seemed like it was very far away, unreachable even.
And then there was a doctor, and you could see just a little better than before.
“Hello, Miss (y/l/n).” She smiled down at you, dark brown eyes crinkling a little at the corners. “Don’t try and sit up just yet, you’ve been pretty out of it for the last few days.”
“D....” you cleared your throat, voice rough. “Days?” It had felt like hours, minutes, even. Surely whole days couldn’t have passed.
Fuck, you had a meeting to attend!
You tried to sit up, but you wilted when you felt the pain in your side, letting out a strangled moan. The machines went wild, and suddenly that funny smell was assaulting your nose again, sending you back into the darkness.
The next thing you registered was a hand in yours. A large hand: smooth, soft skin with a couple rough spots from field work that you recognized immediately. Those long fingers laced through yours, the thumb tracing across the back of your hand delicately.
And the voice. He was talking, because of course he was. Your brain couldn’t exactly grasp the words, but you could hear all of the little idiosyncrasies, the awkward little pauses followed by rushed, hastily strung-together syllables. And underneath, that low, rough, comforting tone.
You couldn’t move, and you so desperately wanted to. The heart monitors sped up, and began beeping, a sound that you were starting to hate.
But you were able to tighten your grip on his hand a tiny bit just before the nurses and doctors swarmed in and his touch disappeared.
Talking, yelling, then black.
You blinked a little, turning away from the soft, early-morning sunlight and letting out a slow, measured breath.
When a nurse entered the room and saw your open eyes, she smiled softly, approaching with a slow, measured pace as she might an animal that would be easily startled.
“Miss (y/l/n), how do you feel?” She examined the monitors surrounding you with an expert’s eye before looking back at you with another smile.
“How am I supposed to feel?” You rasped, smiling weakly back. “What happened?”
“You were shot, my dear. Rushed here, you’ve been slipping in and out of consciousness for almost five days.”
You nodded slowly, hands resting loose and open on either side of you. You felt like you had lost your grasp on things.
“And the others?”
“The others made it out just fine.” The nurse chuckled, scribbling something down on the paper attached to her clipboard. “One other man was shot, but not nearly as badly as you. He’s at home already, on bed rest.”
You gave another slow nod, and she patted your hand gently.
“But your boyfriend has been coming every day to visit you. He made quite a nuisance of himself at first.” She smiled down at you. “That’s one thing to look forward to at least, he’ll be happy that you were able to wake up fully today.”
‘Boyfriend?’ You thought, your brain still a little muddled from the drugs and the pain. ‘Oh, she must mean Spencer...’
You didn’t know how you felt about this, you’d thought it had only been a sort of hallucination. Maybe a fever dream or something.
“Try and get some real rest, honey.”
You gave her one last nod, another little smile, before she departed. You spent a minute looking outside, watching the city revolve around you.
Clouds passing, and then black.
“Hey (y/n), I’m back.” A hand settled into yours, and you could hear the scrape of a chair being pulled up to your bedside. “They told me you’re doing a little better today, so that’s really good, you know,”
He spent a minute in silence, rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand. “And they kicked me out today, at work, because I’ve been too nervous and they said I was being ‘disruptive’.” He gave a strained little laugh.
You could imagine him with that little forced white boy smile that you were sure he was wearing right now.
“God, this collar is too tight.” He mumbled, undoing it carefully with only one hand, you supposed, as his other hand never left yours.
And then there was another little stretch of silence that seemed absolutely filled with something. You weren’t sure exactly what, but it was something.
“You know, this looks easier in the movies.” His voice was a little choked up. “In the movies, the one waiting would probably sing something, or read poetry, or, fuck, I don’t know.”
His elbows were on the bed, other hand going up to sandwich yours between his. He leaned forward and touched his forehead to your hand, and you could feel the warm skin, and the soft hair, and the puff of breath against your wrist as he exhaled. He continued after another minute of deep breaths.
“But I have a terrible singing voice, and I didn’t think to bring a poetry book, because apparently I lose all semblance of intelligence when it comes to you,” He sounded like he was trying not to cry.
You took a slow breath and opened your eyes. “Hey, it’s okay,” you cleared your throat, hating the way your voice sounded. “It’s alright, I don’t mind,”
And then he was staring at you over your hands, and then he was crying, and you were pulling him down to rest his head on your shoulder, cause most of your body was still unable to move without shooting pains.
“God, I’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing.” You could feel his jaw go a little taught against your collarbone as he swallowed hard. You combed your fingers through his hair. “Why am I still your emergency contact, (y/n)?”
“Because you’re still my favorite person.” Was your simple answer.
You would probably never have admitted this if you didn’t have meds coursing through your system, or if you weren’t recovering from a brush with death.
“But I...we, I mean, we broke up. I broke up with you.” He said, pulling away, staying detached for a moment before sliding his hand back into yours, unsure, like if he wasn’t in contact with you, you weren’t there.
“And yet, you’re here. You have been every day. I wonder why that is?” You stared up at him, still a little dazed.
“I just had to, I couldn’t not.” He looked down at your hands, his fingers twisted through yours. “Did you know that being in love can act as a natural painkiller? One study conducted by researchers at the Stanford University School of Medicine found that the, well, “warm and fuzzy” feeling creates the same response in your brain. Isn’t that interesti-”
“Spencer, why are you here?” You asked, tone a little more firm. “Talking about love, no less? The last thing I heard, you were with some blonde girl, ignoring me, and now you’re here.”
“I’m no genius, but I think that’s a little odd.” You cut him off, giving his hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.
“Look,” he fiddled with his hands in his lap, looking painfully unsure, an expression that didn’t seem right on his face now, after the pictures you’d seen of him looking dangerous.
“I’m....sorry. I didn’t want you to have to worry about me, all the time. And then I went to prison, and it was just like the world was trying to prove me right. I didn’t want you to have to care for me. I heard what you did, on the subway. You saved lives, I’m sure. You spend all your time caring for other people, strangers even, and I didn’t want to be a burden. I’m not fit for you.”
You snorted, almost a laugh. “Oh my god, so this is what this is all about?”
He looked at you, questioningly, golden-brown eyes flicking up to meet yours.
“Not being a burden?” Of course it was. “And what, ending up with me in your place, while you recover from a bullet wound? I’m sorry, but if you’re going to try and make up an excuse for breaking up with me, that’s a weak-ass attempt while I’m laying here on this hospital bed. We’ve been there, done that now.”
“I just don’t-”
You cut him off again, smiling a little. “Look, Spence,” you said, a little more gentle this time. “If you don’t love me, just say it. We’re not dating, you’ve got no reason to scramble like this for some viable excuse. Just say it, I won’t mind, I’ve gotten used to the idea, after all,” you gave him a line wince-shrug.
“(Y/n), that’s-that’s not, I mean to say-” he let out a breath, stared at you, and then leaned down, kissing you gently on your lips, resting his cheek against your collarbone. “I’m sorry,” he murmured.
“I'm sorry I ever made you doubt that I was anything other than madly in love with you. I’m sorry I left you in the dark, I’m sorry for leaving you behind. I’m honestly sorry for kissing you just now, and this, but I can hear your heartbeat and I’m just so fucking glad you’re alive.”
You laid there for a moment, a little bit stunned, before letting out a breath. “And I’m glad you’re here,” was your murmured answer.
You leaned over a little, wincing a little at the stab of pain, and the way the IVs stuck in your arm tugged uncomfortably.
“(Y/n), what are you-” you kissed him, tenderly, one arm going around his neck, gripping his collar loosely. “Your monitors are beeping again, and the IVs…”
“Trivial details,” you murmured, pressing one last kiss against his lips before settling back into your spot, everything going quiet again. “I like you Spencer Reid.” you said softly.
And everything felt too big, like you were back in elementary school, confessing to whoever in your class. And you felt like an idiot, until he smiled, a real smile, eyes still a little red from crying, and leaned down to kiss your forehead.
“I like you too, (y/n) (y/l/n).” he murmured, sliding your hand a little tentatively back into yours, squeezing a little.
You squeezed back, and fell asleep with a smile on your face.
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Hello! I hope you having a great day!!❤️✨
Prompt: the reader is not feeling right these days, but tries to hide it from the others not to worry them. But one day, Bucky, who’s being the best man in the world, notice your hands are slightly trembling.
(I just desperately need Bucky’s comfort..!)
You Are Not Alone
Pairing: Bucky x reader
Word Count: 925
Summary: You need some comfort and Bucky is there for you, always.
Author's Note: Hi my love. Thank you for this request and thank you for your patience with it. I really hope you are doing well and you enjoy this! Sending you love and hugs! Thank you all so very much for reading! Much love always! ❤❤❤Divider by the lovely @imerdwarf
Warnings: soft and sweet Bucky, the reader is not feeling their best but Bucky saves the day.
Gif not mine: Thank you so much to @august-walker for this beautiful gif
You poke your head around the wall and check the kitchen. Thankfully, no one is there so you tip toe to the fridge and pull it open, searching the contents but sighing when nothing looks good. You’re hungry but you don’t know what you want to eat, you’re tired but you can’t sleep and at this point you’ve read the same paragraph 5 times in your book.
Slamming the fridge door shut you open the cabinet and pull out a bag of chips, cringing when it slips from your hands and crinkles loudly. You stand still hoping you didn’t wake anyone and wait. There is no sound other than your rapid breathing so you let your shoulders relax and think about a drink.
Once your tea is made and you have a large bowl of chips you head to the couch and grab the TV remote. You turn it on and surf Netflix, finding nothing worth watching before switching to Amazon prime.
With a defeated huff you try Disney Plus as a last resort and settle on Wall-e. You’re picking at the chips, mindlessly crushing them into smaller pieces between your fingers when you feel a pair of eyes on you. You look toward the kitchen and see Bucky leaning over the counter, his eyes soft as he gives you a little wave.
“I hope I’m not disturbing you doll,” he says quietly.
You shake your head no and burrow deeper into the couch. Bucky walks over and looks at your empty teacup.
“Would you like more tea?” he asks. “I’m going to make some for myself.”
“Thank you, that would be nice,” you reply, reaching over to grab the cup.
You lift it and do your best to stop the tremble in your hands but Bucky notices, wrapping his fingers around yours and giving you a squeeze.
“I got it doll,” he says, so softly you almost don’t hear him. “I’ll be right back ok?”
You nod and stick your hands under the blanket, wringing them together nervously. Bucky returns a few minutes later with two steaming cups of tea and a reassuring smile.
“Mind if I sit?” he asks, before placing the cups down.
“Not at all,” you tell him, shifting over to make room.
He takes a seat and fixes the blanket over your lap, gently rubbing your arm.
“I like this movie,” he starts. “I think Wall-e and Eve are really cute. And that little cockroach makes me laugh.”
“Me too, he’s so cute for a cockroach!”
“What’s your favorite thing Wall-e collects?” he asks you, bumping his shoulder into yours.
You scrunch your face up in thought, humming until you belt out, “the video tape of the couple dancing! It’s so romantic.”
“Yea I like that too but I love when he finds the spork and he doesn’t know where to put it!” he laughs.
You laugh with him, feeling some of the tension seep out of you. You lean into Bucky’s warmth and he throws a comforting arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. You watch the rest of the movie, commenting on the parts you love and getting emotional at the ending.
When the first tear rolls down your cheek Bucky immediately sits up and wipes it away with his thumb.
“Aw baby girl. It’s ok,” he says, rubbing your back.
Between the movie and his sweetness, you let down your wall and start to cry. Bucky doesn’t say a word and instead pulls you into his lap and wraps you in his arms. When your tears start to dry and your breathing becomes more even Bucy takes the sleeve of his Henley and gently wipes at your face and nose.
“I think I just got snot all over your shirt,” you sniffle.
He laughs and it makes you smile. “I don’t care at all doll face. I can wash it.”
You dip your head into the crook of his neck and play with the buttons at the top of his shirt.
“Thanks for sitting with me. I needed this,” you whisper.
He takes your hand and flattens it against his chest, covering it with his own.
“I know you did,” he answers softly. “I knew something wasn’t right a couple of days ago but I didn’t want to push. And I still don’t but if you need to talk or need me for anything, I’m here. Ok?”
“Will you come hold me until I fall asleep?” you ask him.
With a kiss to your forehead, he lifts you into his arms and starts walking to your room. He places you back on your feet and shuts the door. He gets into the bed and holds the covers up for you. You slide in and snuggle up against his chest, his arm curling around your middle.
“Thank you,” you mumble into his shirt, discreetly giving it a sniff.
“Did you just smell my shirt?” he asks with a laugh.
“Mayyyyybe…. but you smell nice if that makes it any better.”
He laughs again and drops his head to your neck, giving you a sniff. “So do you.”
You giggle and let yourself relax into him, quickly drifting off into a peaceful sleep. You wake up and feel the hard press of his chest to your back and the strength of his arm still wrapped around you, but you’re still groggy from sleep, thinking it must still be nighttime.
His hand slides down your arm and his fingers curl around yours, giving them a gentle squeeze.
“Morning baby doll.”
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"I should get something done today" I say while actively opening up my comfort fic tab
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Do The Fireworks Again Kitty
Pairing: Loki x female reader
Warnings: mentions of parent death (nothing graphic), anxiety/grief comfort, Loki being an absolute gentleman and sweetheart, friends to lovers, maybe a touch of angst (yelling, light swearing)
Word count: 3.2k (short i know)
A/N: for context this is written with the Loki from Thor 1, he’s so cute that I couldn’t resist, and after the firework trick in ep3 i lost my mind at the concept. This written for a reader who recently lost a parent, i hope it can bring some comfort, i really enjoyed writing it :)
Sign up for my tag list here, requests are open!
After your father had passed from a sickness, leaving you an orphan since your mother had passed when you were only a small child, Odin and Frigga had been longtime friends of theirs and took you in to live in the palace with their family. They attempted to keep your parents memory alive for you, dinners were full of their stories and time spent together, but you were persistent in your attempts to forget your parents even existed and the emptiness they left behind.
Today was Mother’s Day and it goes without saying that that was much harder to forget on a holiday that gave a constant reminder to the void you held within yourself for most of your life, you could feel it start to engulf you more and more with every passing moment you stood there by yourself in a hallway of the palace where you were to meet him.
Since living with the family you had grown quite close to the youngest son Loki, he didn’t tiptoe around you as if you were fragile like everyone else did, he treated you like a normal person. Your friendship was built on messing with Thor, the late night talks about Loki’s father or what little details you would reveal of your childhood, and the magic tricks he would show off after Frigga had taught him. You were inseparable, dependent on each other, so without him by your side you were losing your marbles in all honesty.
Sweaty hands did a swooshing motion as to send a constant breeze your way, a desperate attempt to self soothe as you began to feel the golden walls on either side of you start to close in, slightly gasping for air as if it had been knocked out of your lungs. Your mothers voice slowly creeping into your mind, you slid your back down the wall and rested your head on your knees, arms wrapped around yourself trying to rid what little memory you had of this day.
“I want my mommy” you could hear your younger self begging and it made your stomach twist, it sounded just like it had the day she passed. Trying to slow your breathing by counting was useless in this state, your thoughts always going back to the last time you had seen your mothers face, the way she said “i love you honey” to you. You looked up in the midst of your panic only to see that the sun was already starting to set, how long had you been sitting there?
You stared out the giant glass panes at the end of the hall and watched the sun go down, completely zoned out as you let all of the pain swallow you whole, that is until you were met with the sound of a familiar pair of footsteps and pulled from your thoughts. Loki. As he made his way around the corner you locked eyes making you consciously blink for the first time in what was probably hours, you felt tears run down your face and it’s only then that you noticed you’d been crying the whole time, it doesn’t go unnoticed by Loki who immediately makes his way over to comfort his girl.
“Y/n what happened? Why are you crying darling?” He asks only letting the faintest bit of panic seep through his voice, his hands coming up to rest on your cheeks, you immediately leaned into his touch for that comfort you had been craving for hours.
“Loki, what was today?” You asked just barely above a whisper, not even sure he had heard you.
“Mother’s-“ he cut himself as realization hit him like a bullet, he had abandoned his best friend on the one day she truly needed him to be there. The one time he knew that the dam you built to keep your grief in would crumble, and he wasn’t there. His heart ached for you as you sat before him, for the pain he had partially been responsible for.
“I’m so terribly sorry my love, I’m sorry I wasn’t here, I can’t believe it slipped my mind. Can i make it up to you? Can i help in any way?” He asked kissing your forehead and letting it linger, feeling you nod against his lips.
“Can we go to your room, i think I wanna talk about it for once” you let out weakly, lip trembling as more tears threatened to fall from your already swollen eyes and he gave you a small smile before pulling you to your feet and immediately into his arms. His limbs wrapped tightly around you, almost trying to hold your broken heart together. You happily accepted the notion and took this time to inhale his scent completely, only wanting to get lost in it.
“Do you forgive me? You definitely don’t have to, but i would like a bit of a heads up on whether or not i should hide anything you can stab me with” he said with a deep chuckle and you let out small laugh, music to his ears.
“All is forgiven Kitty” you retorted with a sly smile, knowing he was in no place to make a comment about the cutesy nickname you had used, the one he despised more than anything else.
Well, the one he pretended to at least. He would never admit the rush of emotions the nickname that would be otherwise nauseating gave him, but each and every time you said it, those three little forbidden words threatened to fall from his lips.
As he took your hand to lead you to his room he couldn’t help but smile down at you, only to find you already looking at him, causing a blush to spread across both of your cheeks. Shutting the door behind him when you reached his room you both went to sit on his bed, immediately falling into your typical position, him laying against the headboard with you sitting between his legs.
He let you talk to your hearts content, holding your hand and tracing shapes along your shoulder to keep you from getting overwhelmed as you went into detail about the last Mother’s Day you had spent with your mother. You talked a bit about your father, it seeming to phase you less, at least for the moment. When you felt that you had let out all that you could, you released a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in, slumping back against Loki’s shoulder, body relaxing into him.
“Do you feel any better?” He asked kissing your cheek a few times, he wasn’t usually this touchy, not due to a lack of want but a fear of crossing the threshold he had forced himself to follow. You were in a lot of pain, it would be wrong of him to try and nurture a relationship on the corpse of your parents, he wanted you to have taken the time to mourn and come to terms with what was another big loss in your life before he confessed his dirty little secret. Loki had fallen in love with you. He knew it wasn’t right to use your grief as an excuse to touch you the way he always wanted, but he figured if it was also helping you then it couldn’t be that bad.
“Yeah, a bit, i just feel like I’m not drowning in it anymore y’know? Thank you for listening” you said with a small smile, Loki humming in understanding against your neck, sending shivers down your body. To anyone with working eyes the little details of your crush were obvious. You never let anyone other than Loki touch you, you were attached to his hip anytime it was possible, and you basically only spoke to him other than the small words you shared with Thor whenever he tried to extend an olive branch. The whole family had been very kind to you, but the rest of them just didn’t get you the way Loki could, he had never tried to shelter you, he only wanted to be a confidant for you. He had done it successfully as well, the only one to ever know how you truly felt at any given moment, there was deep and unspoken trust between you two who had been strangers only months earlier.
Loki sat the both of you up as he remembered how he planned to make today up to you, “While i was with Frigga she taught me something new, she said you’d like it, give me your hand” excitement clear in his voice. He took your hand and placed his on top, putting his focus into the spell before he opened his eyes to see you enthralled in the magic within his palm where small fireworks were shooting out, leaving a glow of changing colors against your face. Your big wide eyes full of joy for the first time that day,
“Loki! That’s amazing, how did she know i liked fireworks?” You asked as the smile spread across your lips.
“She remembered your mother telling her about how you were so excited when you found out Midgard had two holiday’s dedicated to them, she spent at least two hours making sure i could do it properly, they never see you smile like you do around me so she wanted to do the best she could to make it happen.” He explained, changing the colors of the little light show to fit his story as he told it.
“That’s very kind of her, I’ll make sure i tell her how much i loved it, because i do love it. Fireworks remind me of simpler times, happier times, how can you be upset in front of such beautiful lights? I feel bad for how much distance i keep from Frigga, she’s one of few people who knew me before my parent’s passing and i know she would never try to replace my mother, but i feel like if i let her in I’m betraying her memory” you shyly admitted, turning around to essentially straddle him, one of his hands immediately landing on your hips. You knew Frigga would never overstep but in some ways you felt that if you accepted the love she was offering then you’d become attached, only to lose her as well.
“I understand that love, and so does she, it’s why she gives you your space” Loki affirmed you, stopping the fireworks only to settle his hand against your cheek, gazing into your eyes, just barely allowing himself to get lost in them before continuing.
“I know you forgive me for today but I don’t quite forgive myself for letting you down” he said, guilt evident even in his soothing voice.
“No let me finish” he cut you off with a finger against your lips to which you only nodded.
“I don’t forgive myself, you deserved better. So from now on we will make Mother’s Day a fireworks holiday, just you and me after i give Frigga her flowers, and hopefully you’ll let her join us someday” Loki finished with a warm smile, running one of his hands up and down your side. You was beside yourself, happy tears welling in your eyes at the beautiful gesture that you knew he fully meant. Your hands met his face, rubbing your thumb against the apples of his cheeks.
“I love you Loki, thank you so much” you exclaimed as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into the warmest hug you could give him before pulling away to look into his stunning eyes. He had slightly paled leaving you a bit confused but before you could ask him about it he was leaning in, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, and before you could reciprocate he had already pulled away.
Loki didn’t dare meet your eyes as he scrambled to get from underneath you, sliding you back onto the actual bed before quickly moving across the room to put distance between you, as if he was trying to protect you from him. Loki paced running his hands through his dark head of hair, angry at himself for doing something so stupid. You tried to make your way over to him but he only backed away.
“No, you stay over there. God i’m such a fool, I’m so sorry y/n, I can’t believe i did that” his voice cracking, y/n could see the tears starting to stream down his face.
“Loki it’s okay” you pleaded, trying everything to comfort the extremely distressed man in front of you.
“NO IT ISN’T Y/N!” He yelled, more angry at himself than you.
“An hour ago you were crying about your parents and then i go and try to kiss you?! It was wrong and stupid and it wasn’t how this was supposed to happen.” Loki is beside himself at this point, face in buried in his hands.
“How what was supposed to happen Loki?” you ask with a gulp, utterly confused at your best friends behavior.
“Fuck it, i already ruined everything…” he said shaking his head in disbelief before continuing,
“I love you y/n.” He stated with a wavering voice.
“I love you too Loki, i just told you that” you returned.
“No y/n, I don’t love you that way. I love you in the way that makes me weak in the knees, the way that let’s you consume my thoughts for every moment that i am alive. Every breath i take is so i can spend another moment with you, every new magic trick i learn is in hopes that i can put a smile on those gorgeous lips of yours, because i love you. From the very first time i made you smile i knew it was all i ever wanted to do, make you happy. I pushed all of my feelings for you away because i wanted you to heal, I wanted you to be in a better place because it isn’t fair of me to put that much pressure on you. I wanted the timing to be right so nothing could get in our way and now I’ve completely ruined any possibility of a relationship. I’m sorry for this, for all of it, for forcing my feelings upon you when you were vulnerable. I’m sorry that I’m such a lovesick fool that i would accidentally hurt you. I hope despite my mistakes tonight you take away the fact that i would move mountains, destroy every galaxy, and leave everything I’ve ever known behind, for you.” He stopped only to release shaky breath, he looked sort of frozen to his place in the room, as if he were going to be swallowed whole by the floor if he moved.
“Because y/n, i am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with you.” He finished with a slight sob, it was only then you noticed how he was shaking. You carefully made your way to him, reaching up to touch his trembling figure, making him flinch. It broke your heart to see it, was he afraid that you would try and hurt him? After such sweet words?
“Loki honey… look at me please” you begged him, he shook his head without looking up from his feet, you’d think you had screamed at him with the way he was acting like a scared puppy.
“Kitty, will you please look at me?” The sound of that nickname made his head reluctantly look up, his eyes meeting yours for the first time in what felt like ages, you looked between him and his lips silently begging for him not to pull away as you slowly connected them. The kiss was gentle and affirming, filled with nothing but love. His arms slowly making their way to your waist as if he was afraid you’d break if he moved too suddenly. You lightly eased into the kiss before finally pulling away, Loki looked more shocked than anything as you moved your head to rest on his shoulder.
“I love you too Loki, when i said i loved you earlier i meant it the same way you did, i just never thought you felt the same. I’m so in love with you, i thought you would have figured that out by now with how intelligent you are” you released a small laugh, not understanding how such a brilliant mind could’ve missed something so evident. If it was a snake, it would’ve bit him.
“Obviously I didn’t, I’m intelligent but blind as it seems” a relieved chuckle fell past his lips as he smiled at you, the feeling of you in his arms was an unmatched form of soothing.
“Please don’t feel bad about this or the timing, I’m happy Loki. You make me happy, you’re really the only thing that does. You are the best thing in my life and I couldn’t have asked for anything better, except maybe for you to not have scared the shit out of me like that earlier.” Looking up at him during the last part, bringing a hand up to wipe away tear stains littering his milky skin.
“I’m sorry y/n, i just didn’t want to overstep” he leaned into your hand before putting his own on top of it, making sure it didn’t leave it’s place for the time being.
“Trust me, i am perfectly fine with this, but you owe me for the damn heart attack you just gave me” you pointed out, lightly hitting his chest to scold him, your heart had been in your ass from the minute he first pulled away.
“Oh no, how could i ever repay you for the damage” he retorted with his signature smirk, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear
“Shut up, kiss me, and do the fireworks again kitty, i want them purple this time” removing your hand from his cheek only to play with the collar of his top.
“Whatever you want my love, your wish is my command” and with that he followed your request, pulling you in again and giving you what was your first full kiss together, your hands made their way to rest around his neck. It expressed all the pent up emotion, warmth moving between the messy kiss, both of you far too excited to care.
Without breaking the kiss Loki raised one of his hands, bringing back the small magic in his palms to illuminate the kiss with your favorite shade of violet, two kinds of fireworks exploding in that moment.
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Pairing: Rick Flag x F!Reader (The Suicide Squad)
Summary: Rick meets the extended family you don’t get along with and finds a way to comfort you through the experience.
Warnings: 18+ ONLY (general smut, unprotected PinV sex, fingering, hickies) Toxic family members, Reader character may not be read as universal
Word Count: 2516
a/n: I wrote this for me because my Dad’s family sucks and I have to see them so imagining Rick standing by me helps. Thought I’d publish in case anyone else has a crappy extended family and wanted some comfort from Rick Flag. The “Reader” isn’t as universal as I usually write as there are family, personality, and character specifics that may not be as accessible for all readers since it’s so personal to my own feelings and Reader is basically just me. This is just a published coping mechanism.
MY MASTER LIST
You held back a moment in the driveway and you watched as your parents walked in the front door, but you waited and took a deep breath. Suddenly you felt a warm hand settle on the small of your back and you leaned into the touch.
“You okay?” Rick Flag asked under his breath so only you could hear him.
You’ve been with Rick for some time now, and for the most part you’d been able to keep him away from meeting your Dad’s family, but this time, he had to enter the lion's den with you.
You nodded, “Yeah, let’s get this over with.”
You forced a smile in his direction, he was so tall you always had to crank your head way up to look him in the eye. Though this time, you didn’t crank it all the way, instead avoiding eye contact. If he saw the pain behind your eyes, you knew he wouldn’t let you walk through that door, and this was something you had to do.
You had been vague when you explained the complicated relationship your Dad had with his family. The pain they had caused him, and you, was essentially death by a thousand cuts. Trying to consolidate a lifetime’s worth of snide comments, belittling behavior, passive aggressive bullshit, and general unpleasantness seemed impossible.
You hadn’t even bothered to give him a singular example because you felt that didn’t paint the right picture, and you were afraid Rick would think you were weak, or worse, he wouldn’t understand and you’d look like a fool.
You stepped forward and he followed you into your Aunts house where she, her husband and their awful children and your other relatives were poised, ready to strike. You plastered a dead eye smile on your face as your aunts, uncles, and cousins passed you around in cold, affectionless, performative hugs.
“This is my partner, Rick Flag,” you said, stepping behind him, keeping your hand on his hip, letting him keep you grounded.
Your extended family smiled, shook his hand and went back to talking amongst themselves, completely disinterested in him, leaving you and Rick alone in the front hall.
“They always so friendly?” he bent down to whisper in your ear.
You lifted up on your tiptoes and kissed him on the cheek, “You have no idea.”
You led him by the hand into the kitchen where your Mom was waiting with a large glass of wine already poured for you, she was already drinking. Your cousin was saying something completely moronic and totally rude to your Dad. Rick licked his lips, a tick he had when he was resisting the urge to say something. You ignored him, accepted the wine glass and took a large swig to avoid the conversation.
“That’s terrible,” you whispered with a wince.
“What did you expect?” your Mom asked, frowning at her own glass.
Your dad disengaged with your cousin who left the kitchen and he turned to you all with that frantic look in his eyes he only got around his family. You, your Mom, and Rick all put a smile on your face and acted like everything was just fine.
“Do you need anything?” you asked your Dad.
“All good, you all good? Colonel, do you need anything?” your Dad asked, his voice more hyper than usual.
“All good, Sir,” Rick answered, confused. Rick knew your Dad, they got along, but he had never seen him with his family. They were long past the point of your Dad calling him Colonel, he only did it when he wasn’t being himself.
“Good, good,” your Dad said, his eyes darting around the room.
Your Mom pointed to the living room, “Come on, let’s sit down,” she said, leading the group to the living room.
You and Rick followed your parents into the living room where you both squished into a loveseat while your parents took chairs in the corner. Your Aunt settled into a chair across from you all.
“So, Rick, what do you do?” she asked.
“I’m a retired Colonel, currently on leave before starting work with the VA,” Rick explained, remaining vague about his reason for being on leave. Getting stabbed in the heart is kind of a personal topic, and his previous work with Task Force X was not appropriate small talk.
Your Aunt smiled politely before she looked at you, “And you’re still puttering away at the same little job?”
You bit the inside of your cheek. Never once has your extended family respected your career.
Before you could answer, Rick stepped in.
“She’s doing great, everyone speaks very highly of her,” he explained, slipping his arm behind you draping it over your shoulder.
“I really like my job,” you finished, a little lamely.
Your Aunt turned to your Mom and startled grilling her. She was always better at answering their condescending questions than you were, but she couldn’t protect you for long.
“So, Rick, what do you see in our niece here?” You Aunt asked as her husband, your creepy uncle, slithered to her side.
Again, the way they phrased every question was designed just to be rude and it took all of your self control to keep from rolling your eyes or storming away all together.
Rick though, was not so restrained.
“I think the better question is what does she see in me? She’s a good person, and I’m lucky she picked me,” Rick said through gritted teeth.
Your Aunt literally rolled her eyes at his answer. Clearly she didn’t have your manners or self restraint.
“I think I need a drink,” Rick said, and he helped you off the couch and led you to the kitchen while the rest of your extended family filed into the living room behind you.
The two of you were alone in the kitchen as Rick grabbed a beer from the fridge.
“You weren’t kidding,” Rick said, “They kind of are the worst.”
You smiled, “With everyone you’ve met at work, that’s a pretty big statement.”
“Well everyone I knew from there at least acknowledged they were assholes, these people, though,” he trailed off and took a swing from his beer.
“I warned you,” you said with a shrug.
“I guess it’s something you need to see to be believed,” he said.
Your Aunt sauntered into the kitchen, “Just because your cousins are all married already, doesn’t mean you have anything to be ashamed of, you and Rick don’t have to hide out in here.”
“Not hiding,” you said, your voice strained, “Can we help with dinner at all?”
“The casserole just needs 15 more minutes in the oven, it’s so simple I’m sure even you could handle it, but no need, I’ll take care of it,” she said, turning her back on you.
Your shoulders slumped and Rick watched you. He had this x-ray vision, you thought when he looked at you sometimes. Like he wasn’t just looking at you in that moment, but he was truly seeing you, all of you. He looked at you with his head tilted, x-raying you, seeing you.
Rick suddenly set his beer down on the counter and grabbed you by the hand.
“Let’s grab some air before dinner,” he said gruffly, yanking you behind him towards the door.
You barely had time to set down your now empty wine glass before he hauled you outside. He brought you to a dark corner around the side of the house. There wasn’t a clear view of either the street or the backyard from here and the only light came from the distant setting sun.
“Rick-“ your sentence was cut off when he slammed into you, pressing his warm mouth to yours.
You were completely overwhelmed by him as he engulfed you. He pushed your body against the wall, his hulking form dwarfing your own as he pressed against you.
You were taken off guard by his intensity, frozen in place, but enjoying the surprise. You felt Rick’s hands travel the length of your waist, gripping you so tightly it was almost painful, deliciously painful.
He paused, resting his forehead against yours, his green eyes scanning your face as his thumbs brushed your now flushed cheeks.
“I love you,” he said, his voice husky, his words slow.
Your own breath hitched, “I know, I love you too.”
“I shouldn’t have let you come here,” he said, and you realized his voice was shaking with anger.
“I have to be here, for my Dad,” you said simply, shrugging, “I’m used to it, you’ll get used to it too.”
“I’ll never accept anyone speaking to you that way, I’ll never get used to it,” he swore to you.
“Then will you at least help me get through it?” you asked.
He smiled devilishly, there was a gleam in his eyes that you recognized, one that sent a tremor through your core directly to your pussy.
“I can probably find a way, distract you maybe, give you something else to think about,” he purred into your ear before he bit your earlobe.
Your hands snaked up his arms, feeling his muscles beneath his modest sweater. If you had been home, in the bed you shared together, you would have dragged your tongue across his tattoos. Instead you just took a firm grip of his shoulders as Rick sucked on your neck, marking you, claiming you, declaring you.
He sealed his work with a sloppy swipe of his tongue before he set to work on the button of your jeans.
“Too bad I didn’t wear a dress,” you lamented, squirming slightly as he shoved his hand roughly down your pants.
“Next time,” he promised, using his thumb to brush your clit through your already wet panties.
You leaned into the wall behind you, your nails digging into his arms through the soft material.
When your head rolled back, you smacked it against the side of the house.
“Oof,” you groaned, your head stinging.
“I got you, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear as he slipped one of his large hands behind your head, cradling it in his palm.
You breathed in sharply when he pushed your panties away so he could slip two of his long, apt fingers inside your dripping cunt. He curled his fingers, stroking your insides in time with his thumb on your clit.
“When I get you home, I promise I’m going to do this the right way,” he whispered in your ear, his voice dripping with lust.
“This is good,” you said, honestly.
“You deserve everything, and I want to give it to you, properly,” he said, making a delicious promise that had you trembling, eager to get back home into bed with him.
He quickened the pace with his fingers, building that sweet heat inside you. You pulled his face to his so you could suck on his bottom lip and moan directly into his mouth as your orgasm crashed over you.
He swallowed every sound you made, consuming you.
You were panting, breathing hard with shaky knees as you undid his pants and unsheathed his leaking erection to pump it in your hands.
He pulled his hand from your fluttering pussy and licked his fingers clean as you watched and pumped his impressive cock in your hand.
He pressed his lips to yours, softer than you were expecting, his mouth tasted like cheap beer and your own tang plus something that was decidedly him.
He shimmied your pants down your ass, the positioning was awkward, clumsy, but you didn’t mind. He lined himself up between your legs and dragged his cock between your folds.
He pushed inside you, stretching you out and filling you up completely. You couldn’t wrap your legs around him the way you wanted to with your jeans still awkwardly around your legs, but you arched your back, leaning your head into his hand and guiding his other hand to your heaving breasts.
He buried his face in your neck as he thrust up into you. He muttered under his breath as he fucked you, but you were so lost in feeling him inside you, you couldn’t make out his words. You couldn’t process anything at all but how good he felt when he took care of you.
His hand dropped from your tits to fall back to your clit and he rubbed your bundle of nerves as he kept whispering into your skin.
He nipped your throat between his words before you finally registered what he was saying. He was repeating over and over how much he loved you, how he thought you were special, worthy, smart, funny, interesting, beautiful. He was pouring out praises to you that turned your core into something molten.
He whispered pure adoration into your skin as you came, hard, wet, blinding around his cock.
“Fuck,” you moaned, “I love you, Rick, baby, I love you.”
He kissed you hard before he came too, his hot and sticky cum painting the inside of your still fluttering walls, his guttural moan trapped between your lips.
You stayed there, pressed against the wall of the stupid house, consumed by Rick Flag until your breathing slowed. He watched you, eyes still hungry, but soft and bright. He had a warm, cocky smile on his face.
“Do you feel better?” you asked, teasing.
“Do you?” he asked, his voice more serious than the playful look on his face.
“I’m okay,” you said, and you actually meant it.
Only then did he slip out of you and put your underwear delicately back into place. You tried to fix your own pants, but Rick gently swatted your hands away.
“Let me take care of you, sweetheart,” he practically begged.
You cupped his face in your hands, “You do, you always do.”
Once your clothes were set back right, he tucked himself away and gave you another kiss.
“Do we have to go back in?” he asked, only half joking.
You nodded, “Yeah, we won’t stay late though, my parents can’t stand them either.”
“Join the club,” he chuckled, wrapping his arm around your shoulder so you could lead him back to the front of the house.
“To be fair, it was their club first, you’re the rookie here,” you teased, poking him in the rib.
“Alright, you got me,” he said in a mock surrender as he led you back to the front of the house.
You paused in the doorway and looked up at him, feeling his cum pool in your panties, ruining them. Carrying that secret with you was going to help get you through the rest of this horrible dinner. Rick by your side was going to get you through every horrible dinner in the future too.
Rick Flag is sturdy, strong, generous, and kind. When he turned that light on you, you could do anything, fight anything, overcome it all.
“I love you, thank you for coming with me tonight,” you said.
“Anything for you,” he kissed you softly.
Feeling stronger, you took his hand and led him back inside.
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Hi! It’s’s fine if you can’t do this but I was wondering if you could do a Karma x s/o that hides their negative emotions and walking in on them trying to calm themselves down? It’s fine if you can’t but you’re the only one I found that writes for karma
— 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐠𝐥𝐲
paring: karma akabane x reader
warnings: small angst to comfort
details: gender neutral reader, i wrote a scenario
word count: 0.7k
💭 : sorry that this took a while!!<33
˗ˏˋ in which you're used to keeping your emotions bottled up, but karma puts an end to the bad habit ´ˎ˗
YOUR hands were balled into tight fists that rest on your desk. today had been absolutely horrible. you had forgotten your homework, the one that you had worked all night on. and although korosensei is a caring and understanding teacher, you were still marked down. you had barely slept last night because you worked so hard on the assignment, only for points to be taken away because you forgot it.
that coupled with some familial problems, had you absolutely wound up. all you wanted was to scream and yell or punch something. but you couldn't. instead, you kept your emotions locked up like you always have.
your leg bounces against the wooden floor of the small classroom, your face is relaxed but you're anything but that. anger, frustration, and sadness all created a storm of emotions in your mind. no matter what you needed to keep it in. so you finished the worksheet korosensei had passed out and watched the hands of the clock slowly tick closer to lunchtime.
after so many years of keeping your negative emotions hidden, you had become a master at it. so when the bell rang and you stood up to leave the classroom, and your friends asked you why, you wore a perfect plastic smile and said, "i want to get a juice box from a vending machine, i'll be right back."
"oh okay." nagisa nodded.
"hurry back!" kayano smiled.
"i will!" you gracefully left the classroom, your friends none the wiser to your inner turmoil.
mercury colored eyes watched your every move closely. something was up with you, he could tell. your smile and light-hearted attitude could fool anyone else, but not him. he's your boyfriend after all. he had seen you do this a few times. wear a fake smile and rush someplace else to do who knows what.
he had hoped you would come to him and explain what was wrong with you, but it seemed such an event would never happen.
a long sigh left his mouth as he stood from his chair.
"where are you going karma?" nagisa asks.
"gotta pee." karma shrugs.
"okay." nagisa sweatdrops at his friend's bluntness.
"don't wait up for me." karma waves his hand and exits the classroom.
now where would you be? you were definitely lying about going to a vending machine, and there's practically nothing nearby the E class. karma stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked to the first place he could think of.
the minute karma walked into the bathroom he heard heavy breathing. you were standing by the sinks, hands planted on either side of one and trying to calm yourself down. "breathe any harder and you'll pass out."
"karma?" your head shot up. slightly taken aback by his presence, you mimicked a smile. this one was considerably less effective. "what are you doing in here?"
"what's wrong y/n?" he approaches you and sighs. "your smiles are pretty good but i can easily see through them."
in an instant your smile drops. your eyes shift from karma's beautiful irises to the bleak floor. "nothing's wrong karma."
"just tell me what's bothering you." he steps closer to you. you're about a foot away. "keeping your emotions bottled up like this isn't good for you."
a tense silence passes through the both of you. karma doesn't mind though. he'll wait as long as it takes.
"i'm used to it."
"keeping my negative emotions tucked away." your head picks up. your eyes connect with karma's but this time there's tears in them. "i don't like showing them. i'm not sure why but it became a habit of mine." a long and shaky breath is released from your lips. "i'm tired of it karma."
he nods and pulls you into his arms. "i know. you need to stop being so guarded. your emotions are extensions of yourself. they need to be let out of one day they'll explode with no warning."
you nod into his arms, salty tears drip down your cheeks.
"from now on be open with me okay?" he pulls away slightly so he can gaze into your eyes. “i want to see all of you. the good, the bad and the ugly."
this time a genuine smile dawns on your lips as you gaze at karma with nothing but love. "thank you."
𝙠𝙖𝙧𝙢𝙖 𝙩𝙖𝙜𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩: @ultimateartistangie, @todoroki-my-beloved, @itszero16 + join my taglist !
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sh. | ot7 | chapter seven
PAIRING ot7 x reader
RATING Explicit. 18+.
GENRE smut. fluff. angst. nonidol au. wildnerness au. roommates au. friends to lovers.
SUMMARY Six months of quarantine have kept you apart. Somehow the distance sparks something new in each of you: questions, unfinished conversations, threads once chased now left cold. So when your roommate invites you to come with him to a mysterious house in the mountains with your friends, how could you even think of saying no?
WARNINGS AND TAGS reference to reader with she/her pronouns. voyeurism. jerking off. grinding. cursing. cum. cum eating. mess.
AN this is for the anon who MONTHS AGO asked if I could write more kissing scenes. I’ve been working on it, and here you go.
big smooches to @jinpanman and @calixwrites for being the best, most wonderfullest, sweetest betas ever. and to the lovely readers, thank you for being along for the ride. a version with they/them pronouns will be up tomorrow. otherwise, i hope you enjoy this chapter 💕
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©️ wwilloww do not repost, translate, or use my stories without my permission.
Hearing Jungkook curse at himself as you leave him behind in the kitchen, you can’t help the smile that spreads like warm honey across your lips. You cover it with a hand like it’s a secret, even though there’s no one to see you. It still feels good to have something that’s yours, just yours, deliciously forbidden.
However, as you round the corner in the direction Jungkook had pointed, you feel something warm begin to slide down your leg. You gasp. Loudly.
“You okay?” Jungkook calls from behind you.
Yoongi pokes his head out from the study he’s commandeered. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” You say, rather too quickly. Yoongi takes one look at you. He knows you’re lying. His gaze roves over you and you quickly clench your legs together, as if that could stop the impending disaster. It doesn’t, and Jungkook’s cum slides further down your leg.
“Oh?” He cocks an eyebrow at you as Jungkook rounds the corner, looking — well, to be frank about it — wildly fuckable and even more so, recently fucked.
As Yoongi looks between the two of you you hurriedly say, “Soap! I got soap on my legs!”
“Soap?” he questions, doubt riddling his tone.
“It was me,” Jungkook shrugs. “I got soap on her.”
Yoongi knows bullshit when he sees it, but there’s still a half written song waiting for him in his makeshift studio, so he rolls his eyes, mutters a quick, “And here I was thinking your enthusiasm for dishwashing was nonexistent,” and disappears back into the study.
Jungkook and you both let out a nervous chuckle once the door closes and glance at each other.
“Maybe I should—”
“Wash up first?”
“Sounds like an excellent plan,” Jungkook says. “Unless you’re ready to spill the beans?” He grins.
“That’s the problem. You already literally spilled the beans,” you say, again too quickly, because you haven’t even finished speaking before you grimace at your own innuendo.
“I know. Okay.” You salute to Jungkook before walking away, grimacing at your two fouls in quick succession. It’s now your turn to curse at yourself.
You hurry to your bedroom, grateful to find it empty. You wash up, and don the largest sweater in your suitcase and some comfy pants. After a second thought and a small secret smirk, you take the pants off, along with your underwear, and redress. Not that anyone will notice, you think. It’ll just be my little secret. But then again, you hadn’t planned to be fucked once this whole trip and yet, well, it just keeps happening.
Dressed, mostly, you begin to make your way in the direction Jungkook had pointed you.
How is it that you’ve been in this house for almost a week now and still haven’t seen this part of it?
The house, built into a steep slope, seems to branch out into the very mountain itself in ways you never expected when you pulled up that first day. Immeasurably larger than you expected, room after graceful room unfolds from the hallways you wander down. Dark wooden floors reflect the late autumn light pooling from tall, narrow windows, and are cool beneath your socked feet.
As you walk, you run over what you’re going to say in your head.
Hoseok, I have been fucking Jungkook. And Jimin. And in the past, sometimes Yoongi.
No, no, that sounds all wrong. Serious and confessional — when no one has opened up the space for confession in the first place. But there’s something, on the tip of your tongue, in the hollow of your throat that you feel needs to be said to him. Maybe it’s a question.
What do you think of all of this? Do you want to fuck all of our friends? Have you ever imagined ravishing me up against a wall while all of our buddies are in the other room, cooking dinner?
No, no, no! That’s even worse. Tension simmers in your stomach. It’s like the purpose itself — the purpose of Hoseok — is hiding from you. And so you resign yourself to a truth you have relied on for many years: Hobi always knows what to say. He’ll know what to say. You take a deep breath and square up your shoulders as you continue to wander through the house.
There’s one hallway just a little darker than the others, branching off to your left. At the end of it, stands a single, tall door with a key, waiting in the lock. You have the sudden desire to see what’s inside, but something urges you: not now. I’ll have to see what all that is about later, you think. So you continue on.
And then finally, what you have been looking for appears.
A large wooden door stretches high up to the ceiling. You feel like an ant in front of it. You shoulder the door open, expecting it to be heavy, but instead it glides open smoothly and silently to reveal the library behind it. You peek your head in.
No response. You venture further inside.
It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen before. The large room is built directly into the mountain, the exposed granite belly of the land serving as the wall on the right. A kind of grey coolness radiates off of the stone, while on the other side of the room, bright autumn sunlight spills in like liquid gold across hardwood and mismatched rugs. It feels like two halves of the universe, stone and sun. Like a beginning and ending of a book, if that could be encapsulated by space.
Tall natural wood bookshelves are staggered throughout, creating a maze of sorts, and lights in large bubbles of glass hang down at various heights from the roof, transforming shadow into warm glow. You wander through the stacks, tracing a finger along the spines of books, which are somehow free of dust despite assumed disuse. The space is cared for, thoughtfully. And you think you could get lost here. Happily.
From behind a massive bookshelf, the room opens up to reveal a half circle of plush chairs, a dark wooden table, and a studious figure hunched over it. You peek out from behind the books.
“Hob — Joonie?”
He doesn’t hear you. His face is pressed in concentration, a glimmer of sweat dancing across his brow. In one hand he holds a beautiful old book, the cover traced with antique intricacies. As you begin to take a step forward, you hear Namjoon draw a long, shaky breath in.
You watch his knuckles turn white with the tension of holding the large volume. What is he doing?
All at once, he throws his head back and breathes out a name: your name.
“What—” You slap your hand over your mouth, as if you already know this is something you’re not supposed to be witnessing. And yet you can’t tear your eyes away from the scene unfolding before you.
The book drops from his hand, landing on the floor with a thud. You watch his face, his eyes closed, as if he didn’t even notice that what looked like a very expensive antique has just bounced on the hard floor. Behind the book his hand is wrapped around —
His hand is wrapped around his cock. His motherfucking gigantic cock.
His large palm strokes a leisurely path up and down the reddening and pulsing shaft, precome leaking from the tip. Sounds of pleasure spill from his lips as he rushes towards release, desperate and unperceiving of everything except for the padlock of fantasy playing behind his eyelids.
I’m not supposed to see this. You gasp, twirling back behind the bookshelf to hide yourself, but in your haste your shoulder bumps the shelf and a book falls to the floor with a loud thump.
Namjoon stutters in surprise and you can hear him fumbling in his seat, but you don’t wait to find out if he knows you’re there or not. Breath hitching in your throat, you try to sneak away as quietly as you can, but it’s not long before you hear heavy footsteps sounding behind you.
“Hello?” Namjoon calls. You pick up the pace, now running through the maze of shelves, a maze that you now curse.
Before you, a thin flight of stairs appears and with a glance behind you, you creep up them, trying to keep your steps as silent as possible.
“Hyung? Is that you?”
You curse as the stairs creak beneath your foot. You can hear him getting closer, so you sprint to the top of the stairs, arriving at a thin landing that stretches across the perimeter of the wall. This is worse, you think, as the whole landing is visible from the floor of the library. But then you spot a small stone archway and race towards it.
Breath shuddering heavily and loudly in your chest as you lean against the cold natural stone cut out of the mountain. Cheeks burning with shock, embarrassment, maybe even arousal, the coolness feels like a silver relief. This was not the strange, unnavigable interaction you had planned for the library. It surprises you, and yet —
All of those days spent cooped up in your tiny two bedroom city apartment come flooding back. The times when Namjoon emerged from his bedroom, a little sweaty (like you just saw him), a little reddened (like you just saw him), and with a little bit of a glow around him (just like you just saw him). A nervous laugh bubbles out of your throat.
Of course he had been jerking off while you lived together. You’re not prudish enough to think otherwise. But knowing about it and knowing the specifics of it are completely different things. You can’t help but imagine all those nights where you had your hand down your pants, pressing the smooth silicone tip of your vibrator to your clit, tryingtryign to keep your moans and gasps silent. But now, you imagine him on the other side of the wall. His head next to yours. His body next to yours, only separated by a couple of inches of drywall. His hand wrapped around his throbbing, leaking cock, face lit up with blue light and a screen with a body that — that looks a lot like yours.
Collect yourself! You cry internally, squeezing your eyes shut, willing the sinful images of your friend and roommate out of your mind. Carefully, you try to calm your breath and reach out for the bookshelf to steady yourself and—
Three books clatter to the floor. Loudly.
Fuck, you think. Namjoon’s steps come to a stop. And then you hear them turn in your direction.
“Hello?” He calls again. “Is someone there? Can you stop playing this game? Can you stop running away from me?”
Namjoon’s feet fall heavily on the stairs as he climbs upwards. As soon as he gets to the top of the stairs he’ll see you. You think you can make it to the other side of the landing if you move quickly and quietly. So you take off, leaving the cover of the archway, but your feet have barely left the floor when a hand reaches out and wraps tightly around your wrist and tugs you backwards.
Spinning you into the hard frame of Namjoon’s embrace.
“Hi,” you squeak, not daring to look up at him, your face burning in embarrassment.
“Hello.” Chest to chest, the bass of his voice reverberates through you. “What are you doing?”
“Hm?” Feigning innocence, you finally glance up to him, his face broad and curious.
“Running in the library? Tossing books around?” He glances down at the three books toppled to the floor.
“What? Are you going to scold me like some stern librarian?” Namjoon cocks an eyebrow and now that you’ve said it, you wish you hadn’t. The thought of a stone faced librarian Namjoon punishing you for misbehaving has blood rushing to your face. And other locals. Imagine him bending you over one of the tables, tie gripped between your teeth, your ass swatted red from a spanking with a book — What. The. Fuck. It’s too much to think of at once. You distract. “Anyways, what were you doing?”
It’s Namjoon’s turn to flush hot with shock and embarrassment. “You—you—”
“I, uh, saw.”
His eyes shoot wide and he gapes at you.
“I was studying!” He lies, his eyes widening, as if their size will prove his sincerity. It’s then that he notices that he’s still got both of your wrists in a tight grip, holding you close to his chest. He drops your hands and hurriedly steps away to pick up the fallen books.
“It’s okay!” You’re quick to reassure. “But I did, um, you, uh, well.” Out with it. “You know. You said my name.”
He freezes. With all the care in the world, he puts a book back in its place and opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him off.
You laugh nervously, trying to cut through the tension that now hangs thick as wool between the two of you. “I mean it’s not a problem, we all have fantasies, right? It’s not like you want to fuck me.”
Namjoon drops the book that he’s holding in his hands and you both duck down to grab it, knocking heads.
You and Namjoon topple over, landing squarely on your bums, rubbing the sore spots where your temples collided. With a weary hand, Namjoon reaches for you, helping you stand, brushing some dust off of your sweater and—
And he doesn’t let go. As the shock of the fall dissolves like salt in water between the two of you, silence settles in instead. A coherent, knowing silence. His eyes bore into yours as his hands clutch at the sleeves of your sweater.
The words still hang in the space between you: It’s not like you want to fuck me.
He takes one of those deep breaths, the kinds that hold all the tension in the world and clumsily says: “Is it a problem if I do?”
Your eyes lock. Whereas before it felt like you were dodging each other, you’re in the same lane now. Traveling down a road at breakneck speed.
Be honest. You force yourself through the barrier of truth. Easier to do when his eyes are shining bright and knowing down at you. “I mean…. No.”
“I totally understand if you don’t want to — you know, friendship — living arrangements—”
“It’s definitely dumb.”
“It’s really, definitely dumb.”
“It could ruin everything—”
“Well, I mean, it hasn’t ruined things with—”
You slap a hand over your mouth.
“With who?” He’s laughing. “Who the hell did you fuck? Hobi? Saw that coming a mile away.”
Your cheeks warm. “No. No, it’s nothing.”
He gives you a look. “Nothing?” But when you look down and don’t answer, he doesn’t push. He lets the silence settle. It’s enough of an answer for him to pack it away and leave you with some semblance of dignity. The two of you are still clinging to each other, your wrists held tightly between his hands, your fingers digging into the soft plush of his cable knit sweater. But you’re not holding on for support anymore.
“It’s dumb,” you repeat, but your voice has fallen to a whisper.
“So dumb,” Namjoon breathes. When did he get this near? His face is so close to yours, his breath brushing softly against your lips, tasting of spearmint and something cinnamon-y. “But we’ve done quite a bit of staying smart, haven’t we?”
“Isn’t it okay, you know, if we weren’t so smart for once?”
It feels like Namjoon is standing beside you in your own mind. You are both so different in so many ways, but on this one aspect, you always find companionship. Both of you constantly stand on the precipice of a “good” decision. You both wander aimlessly through the brambles of constant reckoning, comparing, evaluating in the name of being smart. But at the end of the day, it isn’t even about being smart. It is about knowing that if you are going to step off the edge of the cliff and into a decision, that there will be something — or someone — there to catch you at the end of your fall.
So maybe it is okay, knowing that Namjoon is right there beside you. That even if he’s not there waiting at the bottom, that he’s falling right beside you.
So you nod. “Maybe it’s okay to not know. Not to have to know.” The words hardly capture the feeling.
“Yeah,” Namjoon nods eagerly, a little smile creeping across his features. “Yeah.” He runs a hand through his hair, steps a little bit closer. The speed of your heart feels a little louder in his ears. “It doesn’t have to be smart.”
You’re repeating yourselves at this point. But it’s because it feels like there’s a second conversation, one that’s only happening in the proximity of one another. Glances flicked across collarbones, nervous fingers tracing hairlines, feet shuffled closer together. And then, as he does, Namjoon’s brain catches up to his actions.
“But with everything with Yoongi’s proposition, well, I just—” Namjoon tapers off, searching for the perfect word. And you nod, recalling the brashness of Yoongi’s words: We should fuck. Something like this doesn’t need to be so extraneously complicated. At this point, the conversation is basically a backing track in your mind. “What if it goes horribly wrong? What if something’s missing?”
“Attraction. What if someone’s not attracted to someone.”
“Oh. Are you really worried about it?”
You pull him closer to you and he seems shocked. “Well then, I think we just have to trust that if someone doesn’t want us, want all of us, that they’ll speak up about it. Before we get into this mess.”
You can see how the logic clicks into place in his mind. How his eyes brighten, and he nods. And still, there’s resistance. It’s the same resistance you can feel in your own body, but looking at it through his eyes… Well, it’s different. It’s not so overwhelming that way. “But, you,” he finally says.
“What if something’s missing with you?” It’s a jumbled sentence of simple grammar and vague references, but you understand. Namjoon stands at the boundary lines of you. Desire burns like pine branches lit aflame behind his eyes, and still he’s holding back, afraid of what will happen when the carefully stoked flame is set free.
“Then try it out.” You’re not sure where the confidence came from, but you barrel forward anyways. “See if it’s missing?”
“Uh, no.” It’s the kind of reflexive response you hear from Namjoon when he’s reminding your friends of legislation or expectation: a rule, not a want.
You correct yourself: “You can kiss me—”
“I can?” The phrase brushes over you like a whisper, his question embodied by his whole being. You are both two bundles of hesitation, teetering on the cliff before you.
“I want you to kiss me.”
“Uh—Oh.” It’s like a door swings open in his mind. Like until that second he hadn’t considered — couldn’t consider — that you would want him. It takes a second for him to catch up, his mind swirling before you.
But you’ve had enough. Enough waiting. Thought catches up in silence. Becomes monstrous in silence. So before your mind can swirl in the opposite direction, you squeeze your eyes shut, and with the grace of an eighth grader fumbling for their first kiss, reach up on your tippy toes and press your lips to Namjoon’s.
The two of you stand there like that for a second, lips smashed together. Your eyes squeezed shut, Namjoon’s peeled wide in shock.
He pulls back. “Um.”
“Hold on,” you say, diving back in towards his lips and stopping just before they meet. A breath, then: he closes the distance.
Hesitation dances on his mouth. A thousand questions, unanswered, unvoiced — which you know for a fact, if you gave him enough time and space, he would spill eagerly into the silence. But you won’t. You don’t want to see them, the questions, the punctuation, the words, build up between you.
It starts slow this time, lips exploring lips. Both of you holding back, but in a way that invites a kind of soft gentleness into the space between you. You step closer. Press your chest to his. Bring your hand to his cheek. And light bubbles between you at the connection. Like sunlight, spilling through the topmost canopy of trees and glittering gold upon weathered features. As it builds, that golden light becomes a kind of unsung magic. The seasons, transforming beneath your watch.
It grows between you, so slowly and yet so undeniably. Like watching the leaves change from the window. Waking up one morning to the first frost of the season, the crispness alivening. His hands dance at your waist and he tastes sweet as he begins to explore your mouth, unhurriedly, but no longer hesitant.
You sigh into his mouth and he chuckles, pressing you closer, like he can’t get enough of you—
He takes a step forward, pressing your back to the bookshelves. Your hand shoots out to steady your balance and in your groping, a book falls off the shelf and to the floor. For the first time, neither of you flinch. Neither of you care.
And then you both get lost. Run off the well trodden path of the forest, into something tangled and full of brambles. His thigh slips between your legs, presses against your core. You press back, and sparks light up in your abdomen. Your mouth against his is hungry, desperate, in a way you didn’t know it could be — and he answers it with equal hunger, nipping at your lips, tracing his tongue against the roof of your mouth. One of his arms loops under your shoulder, wraps around your back, tugs him to his body like he can’t bear the idea of a single molecule of space existing between the two of you. And then he grinds his thigh into your core.
“Oh,” you gasp.
He breathes your name against your lips before claiming your lips again and the sound of it echoes of earlier: his lip caught between his teeth, his hand tugging on his cock. But this is different. He has you. Has you here. Wrapped up in his arms, tightly bound to his body, just as you should be, he can’t help but think.
The thought shudders through him like a boulder and as quickly as the burning of autumn sun had shone between the two of you, he is purposefully dimming it, untwining himself from you, stepping back. You look on, confused.
“I’m so sorry.” He pulls away, his breath quickening, and runs a hand through his hair. He laughs, a little cruelty falling into the sound of it, and you know the harsh edge is meant for no one but him. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.”
“For god's sake, Namjoon, “ you say, pushing your hair back into place, straightening your shirt. “Don’t you know what you do to me?”
He looks at you, confusion flitting across his face.
“It was, it was just—” He’s trying to make sense of it. Logic his way through whatever the hell it was that just happened between the two of you. And you want to unravel it all. Unravel the spinning thoughts in his mind. The broken damn of words and phrases and calculations you know are clouding his sight and so you step towards him, grabbing his hand.
“You don’t believe me.”
He doesn’t answer, but it’s clear enough.
“Will you let me show you?”
He nods and swallows hard.
Slowly, you guide his hand to your chest, pressing his palm to it. His fingers are stiff, but as you hold his hand there, they begin to relax.
“Don’t you feel how fast my heart is beating, just being this close to you? Nothing’s missing. Not on my part.”
Namjoon nods, but doesn’t take his gaze off of his hand. As you draw it down further, he sucks in a breath as it grazes over your breast.
“And this…” You watch his gaze, checking to make sure that everything is alright. But you have nothing to worry about. The hesitation that once dominated his expression begins to relax. Begins to become replaced by something else. Slowly, you bring his hand beneath the shirt. And then you let go.
“You can touch me, Joon.” He glances up at you. “I want you to. Nothing’s missing.” And as you say it to him, it’s like you’re saying it to yourself, too. With care, he lets his hand rest on your hip before dipping down into the apex of your thighs, beneath your pants. He slides one finger between your legs, sinking into your folds. His eyebrow twitches upwards when he finds you pantyless.
“I did this?” He sounds surprised.
He captures your lips again and this time it’s not the warmth of late autumn you find on his skin. It’s the distinct crisp of winter. Stinging and clear and knowing. When he slips his hand out of your pants, he brings his fingers up to your lips, and pulls back far enough to whisper: “Taste.”
You open your mouth, and he slips his index and middle finger into your lips. You taste bitter and sweet and wanting. But before you can swallow, he presses his mouth to yours and drinks your essence off of your tongue, humming in a satisfaction you’ve never seen on him before.
It’s like his understanding of your desire has radicalized him.
Knowing he’s not alone in his want, he unleashes himself against you fully, if not a little clumsily. When he presses his thigh between yours again, he grinds it into you. Grins against your lips when you suck in a shaky breath. And you feel him shudder when you bring your hand down to the belt of his linen pants and trace a finger just around the opening.
“Fuck,” he hisses.
Kisses furious, skin heated, intention frozen into place — everything seems irrevocably true to the moment.
Someone calls out your name and it shatters the moment as easily as a thin layer of ice. The both of you freeze, Namjoon’s thigh still pressing into the apex of your thighs, your hand half down his pants, your lips swollen from his ministrations.
“Fuck,” Namjoon whispers and presses a finger to your mouth. “Shh, don’t let him see you.”
Your name echoes a second time off the walls of the library. It’s Jin. “Hobi is looking for you! Jungkook told me you were here!”
You groan, throwing your head back. “I’m here!”
“Okay, well hurry up! It seemed urgent! He’s in the backyard.”
You wait until you hear the library doors slam shut — why didn’t you hear them open in the first place? — before relaxing and sighing, disappointed, the moment shattered.
“Why don’t you stay for a little while?” Namjoon asks, and the unrestrained eagerness in his eye almost convinces you. But you have other things on your agenda. Other things to complete before you fuck 50% of your friends. The notion almost makes you laugh.
“I have to find Hobi. I promised..” Promised who? Him? Jungkook? Yourself. “I promised I’d talk to him by the end of the day. That’s why I came here, looking for him.”
Namjoon laughs, a full bodied, deep laugh. “Oh god. And look what you found instead. I-I’m so sorry.”
“Stop apologizing! Really. It…” You try to find the words. “It’s not a bad, um, discovery.”
You glance down at your bodies, still pressed together. Namjoon seems to notice at the same moment you do and with a cough, steps back.
“I guess so.” He grins and the tension breaks. “At least, well, at least let me walk you?”
“Yeah,” you smile back.
He turns away and begins down the walkway, as if nothing that just happened existed. Determinately, you hurry to catch up and slip an arm through his. He looks down, blinks a couple times, and his cheeks start to redden.
“Tell me if you don’t like it,” you say.
“No, no, it’s not that,” he says quickly. “I like it.”
With a gentlemanly air, he insists on helping you down the stairs. Not that you mind. Especially when the intensity of the previous moment is still reeling through your head.
You wander through the library, side by side, and somehow the massive space seems smaller after everything that’s just taken place. The bookshelves taller. The ceiling darker. The rock walls, well, rockier. Older looking. You even have to squeeze single file through the stacks of bookcases at one point. It’s as if the room itself is trying to push you two closer together.
Namjoon points out various books here and there, noting which ones were worth the philosophical indulgence, which once were more pretty escapist fantasies, and which ones he even had on his bookshelf back home. Although, you suppose, isn’t this now his home? That thought sparks the question that’s been hovering on your lips since you arrived.
“I gotta ask—” He turns towards you, eyes scanning your face.
“Anything. Ask anything.”
He says it so earnestly, gaze set so steady on your features that, despite the inconspicuous question you suddenly feel nervous and suck in a steadying breath before you speak:
“Where did the house come from?”
He blinks as if that’s not the question he expected.
“Your aunt’s house?”
“Yeah uh — she passed away. A year ago, actually. And left me this house. I guess it belonged to some lover from long ago that then gifted it to her.” He makes a flourishing movement. “And then on to me.”
“You’re telling me you were gifted a mansion in the middle of the mountains with this library and you decided to stay in our tiny ass, smelly ass apartment?”
He blinks at you, as if the answer is obvious.
“I mean, yeah.”
“What do you mean, ‘yeah?! You could have been up here all this time, frolicking in the mountains and living well and not crammed in a tiny little apartment with me!”
“Well, that was kind of the point wasn’t it?”
“To be with you. I didn’t want to leave.”
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All You Really Need
Pairings: Poly!DT x Reader
Word Count: 2.8k
Warnings: there’s some spiraling thoughts in this one, mainly about food. Nothing too graphic is said about it, but i know that can be triggering to some people. There is a moment where the reader has some more spiraling thoughts about their place in the relationship.
AN: This fic was written just for me. I didn’t put a whole lot of care into it and so idk how good it is. It ends a little abruptly and its week in some character aspects and things like that. I didn’t really proofread it, so if it gets wonky anywhere that would be why.
You sigh as you flop onto the couch, water bottle hanging loosely in your hand. You know that your hair, still damp from the shower, is getting the couch pillows wet, but you don’t have it in you to care. The boys are all streaming and you had just gotten back from the gym, wanting nothing more than for one of them to come and cuddle with you on the couch. There hadn’t been anything wrong with the workout, but you knew you could have worked out harder and better and for longer. Maybe you would have had to take a bit of a break to let your lungs stop burning or your muscles stop straining, but you could have done more.
You contemplate standing to go to one of their offices and just sitting on the floor next to them or curling up on the couch, but you know from your short shower that your head is a little too dizzy to walk that far. Sapnap’s office is the closest but it's down the hallway past your bedroom and even that distance seems daunting.
You could text them, but you don’t want to interrupt the stream and pull their attention away from chat. You drum your fingers on your phone for a moment longer before pulling up Sapnap’s stream. George and Dream didn’t stream nearly as often as Sapnap and you really didn’t want chat to get upset if you took up any attention.
Sap, Dream, and George are all playing around with some new plug-in, laughing hard enough that despite the meticulous sound proofing in their offices, you can faintly make out laughter from different parts of the house. You smile to yourself.
You let your eyes fall closed as you listen to your boys scream and laugh. You aren’t tired enough to sleep, but you just let yourself relax. After a few minutes you open your eyes and send a message to Sap’s chat.
A few minutes go by and Sap catches sight of all the messages in chat telling him you are here. He laughs and unmutes himself.
“You guys suck, Y/N chose to watch my stream,” he says.
“I’m not even streaming, but if I was, you know damn well it would be me,” Dream laughs.
“What? Y/N, come pop into my chat and we can talk about how much better I am than the two of them!” George insists.
You smile at your phone as the trio continues to argue. Chat is blowing up, loving the interaction. As far as they know, you are just a close childhood friend of Dream and Sap’s who moved in with the boys when George moved in.
You get a text not long after in the groupchat.
Sapitus Napitus: how was the gym?
Sapitus Napitus: stream is almost over btw
You smile at your phone.
Y/N: gym was good, felt a little dizzy when i got home so chillin on the couch.
Dreamie: hey baby! Glad the gym was good! Did you eat before going?
Dreamie: if you didn’t i’m making dinner when stream ends in the next 20 min or so
Shame fills your stomach as you read the last two messages. You had forgotten to eat- well, no, you remembered. You had gone into the kitchen before leaving, but then you had seen your water bottle wasn’t all the way filled up and then Patches had come running when she heard you were in the kitchen and she had sat so nicely for a treat, you had to give her one, and then you thought to check her water bowl, which wasn’t empty but it could use some topping off, so you filled it up. After that you checked the time and if you left early you could get a good warm up in before the class started, so you grabbed your stuff and sent a quick message to the group chat to tell them you were leaving.
You smile at your phone despite the growing nausea. You take a quick swig of water hoping that will help. The acid in your stomach burns as you type out the message.
Y/N: i ate a little, did a lot of weights, just from going too hard.
The shame turns to guilt. Why had you felt the need to lie to them? They knew. They knew and they helped and they wouldn’t be mad- but they would be disappointed.
Dreamie: still gunna make food im hungry lol
You toss your phone to the side and lay down on your back. Staring at the ceiling you will yourself to be normal. This isn’t- it's not normal. You shouldn’t be so used to lying about eating that it rolls off so naturally. You shouldn’t be so used to not eating that the pain in your stomach was familiar and one you could easily ignore. You shouldn’t look at food and be scared of the desire to finally eat. You shouldn’t be like this.
You sometimes thought if you were faking. If this wasn’t something you truly struggled with. If the active decisions to not eat seemed like you were trying to do what someone really struggling would. It was fine to skip a meal here and there especially if you weren’t skin and bones.
You sat up when you heard thumps on the stairs. The fast movement made you see spots. You offer a small smile to Dream and he walks over to you and sits so he is half leaning on you. His arm wraps around you and he takes a deep breath.
“Mhmmm,” he groans into your shoulder where he is trying to make himself disappear. “I’m tired.”
“Well, hello there, Tired,” you bring a hand up and pat Dream’s head.
Dream pulls away and throws himself backwards over the arm of the couch and whines. “Nooo, you aren’t a dad, you can’t do that!”
You giggle as Dream dramatically throws a hand to his forehead. He sits up quickly and smiles at you.
“Wanna sit in the kitchen while I cook?” He asks.
“Uh.” He knows what he’s doing. He must be able to tell you lied about having eaten before the gym. The guilt turns to lead. “Sure.”
He offers out a hand and pulls you up into his chest where he just holds you tight to his chest for a moment. You close your eyes and melt into the touch. You barely have a chance to register being dizzy before it’s gone.
“Have you had any water?” Dream asks as he leads you to the kitchen, where he hoists you up onto the counter.
“Yeah, had a full bottle at the gym, and I refilled it,” you look around the kitchen. You know you had filled it back up after your shower. You frown. Your mouth isn’t dry so you must have had it recently. You always try to drink a bottle of water at the gym and then another afterwards. You know that you filled that bottle up again. You hadn’t even gone to that many rooms in the house. How had you lost it? “I-I know I did, but-”
“I’ll go check to see if you brought it to the couch, no biggie,” Dream gave you a peck on the cheek before walking away. He’s back in no time. He has the bottle in his hand and he offers it to you casually before opening the fridge and staring at the contents.
Sapnap walks in and gives you a big hug, giggling as George shuffles in with his arms crossed and his bottom lip out in a pout. George goes over to Dream and wraps his arms around the taller man. Dream turns to return the hug properly, fridge door swinging closed with a soft thump.
“Was Sappy Nappy mean to you, Gogy?” Dream teases. George sniffles and nods. Dream gives a fake glare to Sapnap. “What would the DNF shippers think?”
“Oh, I think they would love it, Dream comforting a sad Gogy, they would eat that up,” Sapnap laughs. “But then what, me and Y/N always left out of the shipping? Whatever will we do?”
“In our sorrow we should find comfort in eachothers arms, my dear Sapitus Napitus, we shall cry together, mourning the loss of our two true loves, only to feel the spark of love as we have no one other than the other’s eyes to get lost in,” you soliloquy to Sapnap, cupping his cheek as he laughs harder.
“Now that’s some Heat Waves shit,” Dream wheezes. George has a smile on his face and is doing his best to not laugh.
“Kiss me so hard I can’t remember my name, Dream,” George looks up at Dream, who is slowly getting shorter and shorter as he doubles over in laughter. George can’t help but let out a loud laugh of his own.
“We’ve lost them,” Sap laughs as he rests his forehead on your shoulder. “And all I did was laugh at a dono that said Sapwastaken was better than Dreamnotfound.”
“The audacity,” you huff.
In that moment, Sapnap’s stomach growled.
“Oh, shit, dinner,” Dream perked up, turning back around to open the fridge again. “I forgot to go to the store on Wednesday, so we don’t have a lot of extravagant options. We can do spaghetti, or we could do burgers.”
“We could order McDonalds,” George mutters. He moved to lean against the island across from you and Sap.
“I could go for a whopper,” Sap agreed. Dream sighed. He looked to you.
“Any preference? I’m fine to cook but if the children want McDonalds-“ he laughed.
You thought for a moment. McDonalds was the most easy to pick at, individual fries and individual nuggets, it wasn’t like you would have to look at a burger or a plate of pasta and be faced with the task of finishing it. You could leave some fries behind and it wouldn’t register in your brain that the meal was incomplete.
“I’m a slut for sweet and sour sauce,” you shrug. Sapnap and George cheer, and Dream shakes his head and pulls out his phone. He double checks everyone's orders and then pays.
“Okay, food should be here in 25 minutes,” Dream sets his phone down and joins in leaning against the counters. Sapnap has turned so he is leaning back against the counter in between your legs, giving you easy access to rest your chin on his head.
“How was the stream?” You ask, crossing your arms over Sap’s chest.
“Long,” George groans. “We initially were only going to play for a couple hours but chat kept donoing and even when both Sap and I turned them off so they could run out and it still had stream lasting for over three and a half hours.”
“But luckily you showed up right at the end,” Sapnap says, tilting his head up just a little to look at you with a smile. “Perked us all right up. And thanks for the message.”
“Perks of living with the ‘Dream Team’. People love me because I exist near you.”
“People love you because you’re amazing,” Dream counters. “They realize that you are great, and if you ask the shippers, you are the only thing keeping us afloat.”
You huff out a laugh at the same time George says, “They aren’t wrong.”
“You guys would do just fine if I wasn't here,” you assure, not meaning it in any kind of self deprecating manor, but your brain started working as soon as the words had registered.
They really would be fine. They all got along well, very well, actually. Just watching their streams, there would never be a question about if they could get along with just the three of themselves. They had amazing chemistry between them, they really would be fine without you. George was an emotional mediator for the two, Sapnap was physically affectionate so that the two who craved it but didn’t always know how to ask for it would be content, and Dream was so logical and cared so deeply that the other two would never feel undervalued. Not to mention there wasn’t anything special you were bringing to the group in terms of finance. Each of them made enough to cover all the expenses of living and then some. You re-
“-/N, hey, we love you,” Sapnap had turned and was hugging you, his face tucked into your neck.
“Yeah if you weren’t here I would have moved back to England months ago,” George laughs. You know he doesn’t really mean it but it makes you smile.
“Can you even imagine just the three of us?” Dream laughs. “The house would be in shambles, none of us would sleep, we would rip each other's heads off.”
They all laugh and it pulls some giggles out of you. They always know how to make you laugh and you love them for it.
“Tommy was asking me earlier if you wanted to stream with him any time soon,” Dream says after the laughter dies down.
“Why? He hurting for views?” You scoff. Some of Tommy’s most popular videos were the ones with you and ‘Drista’. People loved those that could give them insight into Dream’s personal life.
“Nah, I think he just wants to stream with you,” the blonde shrugged. “If he wanted views he would ask if we could get a Drista-Y/N team up.”
“Now, that,” you tilted your head in his direction, “would get views.”
“Maybe I should save that for my channel,” Dream chuckled.
“What if I want that for mine?” Sapnap pouted. “Y/N is my partner too.”
“Well, it’s my sister!”
“Maybe I take the video and you two shut up?” George huffed, crossing his arms.
“I just won’t film with you guys ever again, I’ll give Tommy all the content.”
The trio of boys give weak protests and hearty laughs when Dream’s phone buzzed.
“McDonald’s!” George cheered, throwing his hands into the air. Sapnap joined in the happy dance.
Dream looked at you and rolled his eyes. They were such children. He pushed away from the counter and headed to the front door to collect the food. Sapnap helped you down off of the counter and grabbed your water before leading you to the living room. McDonald’s wasn’t fancy enough for the dining table.
George sat on the couch, and you sat next to him. Sap pulled you into his side and slung his arm across your shoulders, leaving his hand to rest on George’s shoulder. Dream handed out the food, and once he finished, he wedged himself between the arm of the couch and George. The four of you fit comfortably.
George grabs the remote and turns the tv on while balancing his chicken nuggets on his lap. He put on a movie you didn’t catch the title of. You grabbed a couple fries and quietly munched as the three boys spoke.
You looked down at your food. You had eaten a few more fries, and two nuggets. But it was fine. The fries weren’t that much and the nuggets were small. It wouldn’t even matter if you had a few more of each.
By the time George was collecting the trash from dinner, you had finished all your fries and most of the nuggets. The weight in your stomach wasn’t even that uncomfortable.
“You done?” George asks. You nod and he quickly snatches the last few chicken nuggets and shoves one into his mouth before smiling. He lets out a muffled “thanks, babe!” before tossing the containers in the bag.
Dream leans over onto your side laying over where George had been sitting. Sapnap moves his hand to settle in Dream’s hair.
“I’m proud of you,” he mutters.
For what? Eating? Doing something every normal person is able to do without freaking out? You were able to have one meal. Way to go you. You did what most people do three times a day. It really wasn’t anything to celebrate.
“You went to the gym.”
You knew he was leaving out that you had eaten.
“I go to the gym all the time.”
“You don’t see any of us going to the gym. You are trying to take care of yourself better than any of us, and for that I’m proud of you.”
“I am also proud, just in a bit of a food coma,” Sapnap groans and pulls you tighter to his side.
“Can I be proud too?” George asks as he practically lays on top of Dream as he comes back into the living room.
“Sure, Gogy. You can all be proud.”
You laugh and let yourself relax. Maybe you aren’t perfect. Maybe some things are harder for you than they are for other people. But who cares. You have the three most supportive men in the world on your side. And they are all you really need.
“We love you, Y/N, we really do.”
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such a good boy
summary: it’s bucky’s first time without you when he’s little. steve looks after him for the day.
pairing: little!bucky x mommy!reader
warnings: mdlb dynamics, little!bucky (he’s a warning bc he melts my cold, dead heart), bucky being clingy af, crying, meltdowns, separation anxiety
“Mama, don’t go.” Bucky sobs into your chest as you attempt to pry him off of you before his tears soak through your shirt.
“Baby, I know it’s hard. I have to work today.” Your heart splinters as you take in his wrecked state; his eyes are red and puffy and tears pour down his cheeks as he sobs, clinging to you like his life depends on it.
“M-mama, no. Stay.” A thin whine escapes his lips and you lift his face, wiping the tears from his flushed cheeks. He’s struggling today - he’s feeling extremely little and vulnerable and in this state, he can’t understand why you can’t just stay here with him.
“Baby, you’re going to have a great day. Uncle Stevie’s coming over to play with you and you’re gonna have so much fun with him.” You try to reason with him, hoping to alleviate some of the pain he’s feeling regarding your absence.
“No Steebie. Wan’ you.” His bottom lip juts out and quivers as he desperately tries to hold his tears in, his chest heaving erratically.
“Shh. Breathe, honey.” you coo softly, running your fingers through his hair as his arms tighten around you. After a couple of minutes, his breathing evens out and his sobs quiet down to soft whimpers. “Good boy, you’re alright.”
A quiet knock on the door breaks Bucky out of his trance and he whines; it’s a needy, high pitched sound that makes your heart clench.
The door swings open and Steve walks in, sitting next to you on the floor. Bucky’s legs wrap around your waist and he buries his face into your chest, refusing to look in Steve’s direction.
“Baby, it’s Stevie. Say hi.”
“No.” His voice is muffled through your shirt and you sigh softly, trying to pry yourself away from him. “Mama, no!” A strangled shriek erupts from his lips and his sobbing resumes, even harder than before. Tears prick at your eyes but you push them back; Bucky seeing you cry will only send him deeper into hysterics.
“Bubba, I’ll be back before you know it. It’s only for a few hours and you’re gonna have a great day with Steve.”
“Yeah, Buck. What do you want to do today?” Steve asks, reaching a hand out to rub Bucky’s shoulder comfortingly.
“Nuffin.” he grumbles defiantly, turning his back on Steve.
“Baby, I have to go.” You place a kiss to his forehead before sliding out from underneath him and letting Steve take your place. He whimpers, trying to climb off of Steve’s lap and run back into your arms but you stop him with a raise of the eyebrows.
“Baby, I’ll be back in a few hours. Stay here and have a good day with Steve. I’ll see you later, alright?”
“M’kay.” His voice breaks and he doesn’t halt his attempts to run back to you, but Steve holds him tightly. They may have the same amount of strength when Bucky’s in his big headspace, but he just can’t compare when he’s little like this.
“Be good, I love you.” You blow him a kiss as you retrieve your bag from the stairs, sending a grateful look to Steve. “Thanks for this.”
“It’s no problem, Y/N.”
“L-love you too, Mama.” His voice wavers dangerously as he whimpers in defeat and falls limp against Steve. Smiling softly, you step out of the door and close it gently behind you. Bucky’s cries from inside the house feel like shards of glass against your heart, but you force yourself to get into your car and drive away, no matter how much you want to run back into the house and hold him in your arms.
You arrive at the compound a few minutes later, stepping out of the car and rushing into the building hastily. The only people working today are Tony, Nat and Bruce, but they need you to help with a few things in the lab.
Nat spots your tear soaked shirt as you step through the door of the lab, chuckling to herself.
“He didn’t take it well?”
“Don’t even get me started.” you mutter quietly, your heart still aching as you think about Bucky’s meltdown.
“Bless him. He’ll adjust soon enough.”
“Yeah, he just needs a distraction.” You take a seat on the stool next to her, shrugging your jacket off and plopping your bag under the table.
“Right, so what are we doing?”
“Buck, you need to eat.” Steve pleads with him, lifting the fork to his mouth once again.
“Bucky, don’t you wanna tell Mama about how good you’ve been when she gets home? She’ll be so proud if you behave for me.” His shoulders sink in defeat and his brows knit together in a frown.
“M’kay.” he grumbles, his voice low and quiet.
“Good.” Steve lifts the fork to his mouth and he reluctantly takes it, humming in pleasant surprise as the flavour of mac and cheese explodes in his mouth.
“‘S good, right?” Steve chuckles, wiping some stray sauce from the corner of Bucky’s mouth. Surprisingly, Bucky ends up eating the whole bowl, suddenly in a much better mood than he was at the start of the day.
“What d’ya wanna do now, hmm?”
“Play!” He perks up even further as he leads Steve to the playroom, showing him all of his toys that you’ve bought for him. Steve pulls Bucky into his lap and he settles instantly, resting his head against Steve’s broad chest. He shows Steve all of his favourite toys, including the dinosaurs that he absolutely adores, before growing tired, his eyes heavy as he sinks into Steve further.
“Let’s get you to bed for a nap then, little one.” he coos, lifting him into his arms and carrying him to the bedroom. Steve envelops Bucky in the covers, drawing the curtains closed and Bucky falls into a deep slumber almost instantly, his mouth agape as soft snores escape his lips.
By the time he wakes, it’s only a few minutes before you’re due home. He pads down the stairs in search of Steve, who’s watching tv in the living room.
“Mama back soon?” he asks timidly, fiddling with his fingers as he stands in the doorway.
“Yeah, only a few minutes, bud.”
“‘kay.” He climbs onto the couch next to Steve, huddling his knees into his chest as he worries his bottom lip between his teeth.
After a few minutes of silence, the lock of the door clicks and Bucky throws himself from the couch, bounding into your arms as you step through the door.
“Hey, baby.” you coo, stumbling back slightly as he runs into your chest, burying his face into the crook of your neck.
“Mama…” he breathes, inhaling your scent deeply as though you haven’t seen each other in years.
“Were you good for Stevie today?” He nods fervently as you place your bag down and walk to the living room with him in tow. As soon as you sit down, he latches onto you, climbing straight into your lap and resting his head against your chest.
“He was really good, Y/N. We had a nice day, didn’t we Buck?”
“Yeah. Fanks, Steeb.” he mumbles, his voice muffled through the material of your shirt.
“You’re welcome, bud. We’ll definitely have to hang out more, right?”
“Mhm.” Bucky murmurs enthusiastically, twiddling a piece of your hair between his fingers.
“Thank you for staying with him today, Steve. I really appreciate it.”
“Anytime, Y/N. I enjoyed spending some time with him and I think he liked it too.” he chuckles, ruffling Bucky’s hair before standing up to retrieve his things. He grabs his bag, walking towards you to give Bucky a hug and you a kiss on the cheek before making for the door.
“Bye, Steeb!” Bucky shouts as he steps out of the door, eliciting a hearty laugh from him.
Once he’s gone, Bucky sinks into your embrace, clinging to you like a lost puppy as you pepper kisses all over his face.
“I’m proud of you, baby. You’re a good boy, staying with Stevie and being so brave.”
“Fanks, Mama.” he beams from the praise, a layer of pink dusting his cheeks as a bashful expression graces his features.
“Oh, I love you.” you coo, scratching his back lightly just the way that he likes. He practically purrs, smashing his face into your chest as his eyelids flutter in bliss. “That nice, bub?”
“So good, Mama.” His voice is high and needy, his jaw slack and eyes heavy despite being well rested. “Missed you.” he mumbles, pressing sloppy, open mouthed kisses to your shoulder as you lull him further into a blissed out state.
“I missed you too, my sweet boy.”
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If requests are still open, can I have some comfort with Kaeya and an S/O who often does tasks by themselves and self blames a lot. Thinking that they could have done better, or if they were only a bit quicker, a bit smarter, more capable, they could have helped or even solved the whole problem. They feel useless and helpless. Uh, if this is uncomfortable to you, feel free to ignore or delete. Thank you for your time!
kaeya x reader [gender neutral]
synopsis: reader takes on an arduous task and insists on going alone, fortunately kaeya is there to help
cw: descriptions of injury & violence, fainting, negative self talk, minor cursing
“Are you sure about going alone? I’d be happy to offer—”
“ —thank you, but there's really no need. I’ll be just fine on my own.”
Your eyes briefly scanned the room, making subtle eye contact with a certain Cavalry Captain, before quickly refocusing on Jean’s uncertain expression as she fiddled with something in her hands. There was a long, uneasy pause before she spoke again.
“If that is your wish, then I will not stop you; all I ask is that you please take necessary precaution as the Fatui are not ones to be underestimated.”
“Of course,” you smiled reassuringly. “I will have the information back here before you know it.”
Quickly you excused yourself, hastily pushing past the door of Jean’s office without sparing a second glance. I won’t make the same mistake as last time, you told yourself.
This time I won’t fail.
No, you were fortunate enough to even be offered a second chance to prove your capabilities. You weren’t going to screw this up. You won’t have to see those disappointed faces again— you wouldn’t be able to bear it. A sudden click as the door swung open behind you startled you out of your thoughts. Your pace quickened, only to be followed by another pair of footsteps that echoed across the hall, only these ones were in no such rush. It was already apparent who was behind you.
“Leaving so soon?”
The Cavalry Captain made no attempt to hide the mirth in his tone, as was his typical nature. It took you some time to become well-acquainted enough with him to learn that it was all a facade, that the mask he wore was just for show. You had developed quite the unusual relationship with Kaeya, the ever-flirtatious, part-time knight and part-time wine-enthusiast. You both held obvious affections for each other, but it was never really clear where you stood with him. He was already a difficult person to read, and the lines between platonic and romantic were blurred beyond comprehension. You wondered if even he knew just how he felt about you.
The footfalls drew nearer as you stood stock-still, silently hoping that he would be lenient this time and let you leave without deterring you from your mission. He chuckled as you melodramatically sighed before turning around to greet him.
“Did you honestly think you could leave without saying goodbye?”
Kaeya approached you with languid movements, arms crossed as he studied you with a dazzling smile and a playful glint in his eye.
“Sorry, I’ve got places to be. I’m kind of a busy person, you know,” you replied teasingly.
“Are you now? Then I suppose I shan’t keep you too long.” He continued to make his way toward you, stopping only when you were separated by about arm’s length.
“I appreciate it, but I really should get going soon…”
“Oh? What’s the rush? We’ve got all day, don’t we?” Kaeya idly reached out, taking your hand into his own.
“I know, but I promised I would return as soon as possible.”
“Hm, you better… Say, mind if I tag along? My work’s been feeling far too bland lately.”
You smiled as you squeezed his fingers. “Normally, I wouldn’t, but this is something I’d rather handle myself.” Your eyes fell to the tiled floor beneath your feet.
You watched in the reflection as Kaeya took a small step forward, further enclosing you within his space. His familiar scent was already clouding your senses, his face only a few inches away from yours. Fingers still entwined, he used his free hand to tilt your gaze upward to meet his.
“And why is that?” His voice was soft and low as it filled his chest. You could almost feel the vibrations from the words he spoke, creating a tension so thick it could’ve been cut through with a knife.
“I— I just… ,” shakily you inhaled, “want to challenge myself.”
That was a lie; you both knew it. But Kaeya said nothing about it, only nodding in understanding before returning a measly portion of your personal space, just enough so you could breathe normally again.
“I wish you the best of luck, then,” he smiled. Before you could pull away, he once again caught your chin between his thumb and forefinger. The playfulness in his expression suddenly dropped as he spoke to you with unusual seriousness. “But please, do be careful out there,” his lips gently brushed over your cheek. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”
He kissed your cheek tenderly, surprising you with his sudden sincerity.
“Well I don’t plan on anything going wrong this time around,” you fixed him with the same reassuring smile you gave Jean earlier, but it didn’t seem to have the same effect with Kaeya. He seemed to be able to see straight through you.
“Just promise that you’ll come back to me in one piece, alright?”
You had little issues in dealing with the first two to three skirmishers, but the increasing waves of reinforcements were quickly wearing you down. There was also no clear indication of where the Fatui research was located, but you were far too invested to retreat now. This was your mission, and you were going to see it through until the end.
Your drive and determination could only get you so far, however. The harder you fought, the greater toll it took on your body, and no matter how much of your strength and energy you spent to get ahead, it only left you falling farther behind. Your blows barely made a scratch, yet a single hit from one of your opponents nearly had you keeling over. All of your efforts seemed to be in vain.
Knowing this, what was it that kept you pushing forward, fighting against logic and instinct? What was it that had you withstanding hit after hit, gritting your teeth to subdue the pain? Was it pride? Ego, perhaps? Maybe it had something to do with your perfectionism and the unrealistically high standards you expected of yourself, or the amount of self-worth you attributed to your achievements. Maybe it was out of fear of what other people might think, considering your past failures and discouraging results.
Or perhaps it was because you’d be breaking a promise if you stopped now, the promise you made to Jean, who had looked so relieved when you offered her your services. You couldn’t fail her, or the knights. They were all counting on you to pull through with this.
That was your intention anyway, to pull through. However you weren’t anticipating one particularly hard blow to the abdomen to almost completely take you out, sending your body skidding across a floor of rocks and dirt and debris. The air was ejected from your lungs, yet they no longer seemed to be responding to your desperate pleas to inhale.
Corners of your vision were starting to become tinged with black. You were left gasping and clutching your midsection as the Fatui stalked towards you, towering over your helpless figure like lions hunting gazelle. It was difficult to gauge anything that was happening around you, but even in your semi-conscious state you were able to identify another commotion that had broken out, simply by the sounds of people shouting and the diverted attention of your captors. You were unable to distinguish much more than that, unfortunately. The last thing that your senses caught onto was a sudden chill, before you became fully submerged into the depths of your subconscious.
Ringing and static gradually evolved into hushed murmurs as life began to return to your body. Warm candlelight trickled in through your eyelids, but soothing voices quickly coaxed you back into a deep slumber before they could fully open.
Everything had become dark again, and the static returned. Like the light of the candle, the voices were extinguished, leaving you in the still and sudden emptiness that had enveloped you before.
Dawn’s rays seeped in through stained glass, projecting a mosaic of light and color onto the different surfaces of the cathedral. As your eyes took time to adjust to the sudden brightness of awakening, the rest of your senses began returning to you as well.
It took a moment for the pain to reach you, but when it did it was not pleasant. Your hand instinctively moved to cover your abdomen, when you felt the fabric of several layers of bandages that encompassed your waist. How did I get here?
Less than an hour passed before you were able to fully regain your awareness and reorientate yourself out of the hazy state of confusion that you were in. As you began to sit up, you were hit by a sudden wave of nausea before you noticed just how dry your mouth felt. As if the Archons had answered your prayers, a glass of water appeared on the bedside table next to you, which you began quickly gulping down to ease your parched throat.
Looking around, you realized that the cathedral had been vacated and that the sun had just seemed to have risen. It was at this instant that your memories began to flood back to you— the fighting, the pain, the unfinished goal…
A fresh set of clothes had been placed and neatly folded alongside the glass of water, giving you the incentive to change before hurrying out of the building before it was too late to finish your task. Suppressing the lingering dizziness and nausea, you pushed through the front doors, heart hammering in your chest with fear and urgency.
“And just where do you think you’re going?”
You jumped. Leaning against the side of the cathedral was Captain Kaeya, who threw you a disapproving look upon seeing your obvious intentions.
“Shit, Kaeya, you scared me!” you hissed.
The knight sighed before pushing himself off the wall and moving closer to feel the temperature of your forehead, his face twisting into one of concern.
“How are you feeling?” His voice was gentle and his hands were cold to the touch. It felt comforting to be doted on like this, but it strangely did nothing to calm your racing heart.
You blinked at him. “I— uh… fine.”
Kaeya raised an eyebrow in response.
“Huh? Well, yeah I think so, but I’m not really sure what…” The rest of your sentence dissolved in your mouth as you found yourself transfixed by the feeling of Kaeya’s knuckles tracing the side of your jaw.
“Ah, right,” you cleared your throat. “My memory is a little foggy, so I’m not really sure what happened right before I passed out.”
“I see,” he nodded. “Then I trust you don’t recall when I came to save you from your little endeavor?”
You frowned, shaking your head. “No, I don’t… How did you know I was there?”
“Ah yes, that, well…” he chuckled nervously. Was that a tiny blush on his cheeks? “I thought I’d check in on you, since I wasn’t all that convinced that you’d be able to handle that many skirmishers all on your lonesome.”
That came out wrong.
You scoffed. “Well, clearly you were right. I obviously needed to do better.”
A frown formed on the Cavalry Captain’s face. “(Y/N), that’s not what I—”
“I know that’s not what you meant, Kaeya, I just—” you let out a frustrated sigh at the tears that began to well up in your eyes. “No matter what I do, I always seem to manage to screw things up, and now that information is lost and it’s my fault,” your voice wavered. “It makes me feel useless, like I can’t do anything right! I try so hard all the time, but it’s never good enough,” you sniffled.
“Am I not good enough?”
Your words hung fragile, as if the truth behind them would shatter you into a million pieces. Broken sobs escaped you now, tears running freely down your face as they carried the raw emotions that had been suppressed for far too long.
Kaeya swiftly took you into his arms, holding you securely while gently stroking the back of your head. Watching the hurt and despair take hold of someone so precious to him struck a painful chord in his heart. The overwhelming urge to pull you close and to protect you from all that may do you harm burned intensely in his pounding chest.
You stayed like that for a while— arms wrapped tightly around each other, gently swaying back and forth as Kaeya comforted you with soothing words and the warm feeling of his presence. As your sobs began to quiet down, he gently pulled back in order to look at you properly. The soft smile and the tenderness in his gaze nearly caused a new wave of tears to envelope you before you could hold back.
Suddenly, Kaeya took your face into both of his hands, eyes brimming with intensity.
“I want you to repeat after me, okay? Do you think you can do that for me?”
“‘I am strong, I am capable…’”
You took a deep breath. “I am strong, I am capable…”
“‘I am courageous and awe-inspiring’”
“I am courageous and awe-inspiring.”
“‘I am beautiful and intelligent’”
You felt your face grow warm at his compliment. “I— I am beautiful and intelligent..”
“‘I am empowered by those around me’”
“I am empowered by those around me.”
“‘And I don’t take crap from anyone’”
“And I don’t take crap from anyone,” you giggled. There was that smile he loved to see.
Kaeya returned your gesture with a dashing grin of his own.
“See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”
Your smile widened as you shook your head in his hands.
“(Y/N)... I want you to know just how proud I am of you and amazed by the amount of time and dedication you put into everything that you do, but I think you’re a little too hard on yourself. You are not weak, neither are you useless. In fact, you’re one of the strongest people I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. I’ve met few people who would willingly put themselves into dangerous situations like that, and even fewer people who would continue to fight regardless of how many times they’ve been knocked down.
“But you are wrong in thinking that things that happened outside of your control are a reflection of your capabilities, and although I admire your independence, I think you are blinded by the idea that you must go through everything alone, and that you are always the person responsible. You take accountability, but you also blame yourself for things that are not yours to take the blame for.
“I want you to know that you are never alone, and that I— we— will continue to support and fight by your side for however long it is necessary. Relying on others does not make you weak, it means you are allowing others to help build you up, to become the best version of yourself that you can be. And if you would allow me to, I’d like to be that person for you.
“You inspire me each and every day, and each and every day I am reminded of how much I love you, and how much I want to hold you and kiss you and tell you every little thing about you that I adore so much. It hurts me to see you like this.”
He paused looking into your eyes to gauge your reaction, silently asking for approval to continue.
“I love you so much that it hurts, (Y/N)”
You were frozen, unable to focus on anything other than the pulse thrumming in your ears and the closeness of Kaeya’s face. When he finally leaned in to kiss you, your heart soared, his lips reminding you again and again how much you truly meant to him, and how he longed to remain by your side.
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[Comfort Fic Recs 💕]
These fic submissions were sent in for you, by you! I may have snuck in a couple of my favorites, but the rest were all sent in by members of the wonderful Star Wars community.
I hope on days where you're not feeling you best, that some of these fics might help and bring some comfort, even if just a little bit. 💖 Thank you so much for sending these in - it means a lot!
This blog is a 18+ blog, so please do not interact if you are a minor.
Clone Troopers x F!Reader
Hierarchy of Needs by @zinzinina
Rex | Rated E | One Shot | 9.5k
Bruised but Not Broken by @vinciwolf
Cody | Rated E | One Shot | 3.1k
Echo Drabble by @lilhawkeye3
Echo | Rated G | One Shot | 342
Gravity by @zinzinina
Howzer | Rated E | One Shot | 6.8k
take me out, take me home by @escapedthesarlacc
Captain Rex/Cess Jonos | Rated E | Series | 11k
[Rec] by @bobas-missing-codpiece
Rex | Rated E | Series | 2.3k
Soft Patient Sex Headcanons by @rexsjaigeyes
Rex, Dogma | Rated E | One Shot | <1k
Giving Rex Sunflowers by @loth-wolffe
Rex | Rated G | One Shot | 1.2k
Dogma's Babygirl Series by @dogmascutie
Dogma | Rated E | Series | 48.8k
A thot about Sexy Rexy by @janghoefett
Rex | Rated E | One Shot | <1k
Right Where You Left Me by @clanoffetts
Echo | Rated E | One Shot | 1.1k
Joint Effort by @ladyopress
Hardcase | Rated E | One Shot | 2.3k
Kar'taylir by @bobas-missing-codpiece
Bacara | Rated E | One Shot | 1.7k
The warmth a cup of caf brings can also be given by the gentlest of souls by @loth-wolffe
Cody | Rated E | One Shot | 2.5k
The Bad Batch x F!Reader
The Bandana by @dinner-djarin
Hunter | Rated E | Series | 4.7k
Heaven by @dinner-djarin
Hunter | Rated E | One Shot | 1k
Sun and Rain by@photogirl894
Hunter | Rated E | Series
Wrecker Prompt Request by @zinzinina
Wrecker | One Shot | 1.5k
Period Headcanons with The Bad Batch by @saradika
The Bad Batch | Rated E | One Shot - <1k
Clone Troopers (No Pairings)
Drunken Shenanigans by @shipping_ruined_my_life
Rated T | One Shot | 2.3k
It Takes More Than A Day by @hedgehodgy
Rated G | One Shot | 5.1k
Five Times Echo Cuddles (Or Is Cuddled By) His Teammates by @postapocalyptic_cryptic
Rated G | One Shot | 2.2k
family by @purgetrooperfox
Rated T | One Shot | 1.4k
laughter by @purgetrooperfox
Rated T | One Shot | <1k
With Reinforcements by postapocalyptic_cryptic
Fox x Quinlan Vos | Rated T | One Shot | 3.3k
Uno Reverse Embarrassment by @shipping_ruined_my_life
Fox x Quinlan Vos | Rated M | One Shot | <1k
A Most Elegant Dinner Party by @Maddy_B
Cody x Obi-Wan | Rated E | One Shot - 11.9k
Debt by @kakashikrazy256
Boba Fett x Din Djarin | Rated T | One Shot | 6.8k
The Betting Pool by @ironhoshi
Jango x Obi Wan | Rated G | One Shot | 13.8k
Mandalorians (Boba, Din, Jango, Paz) x Reader
The Helmeted Hunter by@masterjedilenaaa
Boba Fett | Rated T | Series | 50k
Red on Your Tongue by @lilhawkeye3
Boba Fett | Rated E | One Shot | 2k
Smoke and Mirrors by @janghoefett
Boba Fett | Rated E | Series | 18.6k
my sanctuary (you’re holy to me) by @lacapucharoja
Boba Fett | Rated E | One Shot | 2.6k
Lessons Learned by @malewife-hansolo
Boba Fett | Rated E | Series | 32.8k
sleepy time confessions by@thefact0rygirl
Boba Fett | Rated E | One Shot | 1.1k
Soft Boba Drabble by @saradika
Boba Fett | Rated E | One Shot | 2.6k words
The Competition by @auty-ren
Din Djarin x F!Reader x Boba Fett | Rated E | Series | 20k
Shuk'la: (v) Broken by heavenseed
Din Djarin | Rated M | Series | 84k
Warm Hands (Part 1 & Part 2) by @hdlynnslibrary
Din Djarin | Rated G | 1.5k words & Rated E | 2.6k
nicknames by @ohheyitsokay
Din Djarin | Rated E | One Shot | 2.3k
Inexperienced Din by @saradika
Din Djarin | Rated E | One Shot | 1.6k
Unwanted Memories by @lilhawkeye3
Jango Fett | Rated E | One Shot | 1.8k
Lazy Morning Sex with Jango by @shiny-mando
Jango | Rated E | One Shot <1k
The One by @maybege
Pas Vizsla | Rated E | Series | 67.4k
The Hunters and the Hunted by @the-siren-writes-it
Din x Reader x Boba x Paz | Rated E | Series | 7.8k
Star Wars x Reader
yet you whine by @justrunamok
Obi-Wan Kenobi | Rated E | One Shot | 2.4k
Blankets of Flesh by @milf-thrawn-nuruodo
Grand Admiral Thrawn | Rated E | One Shot | 2.3k
Awakening by @princessxkenobi
Bodhi Rook | Rated T | One Shot | 1.6k
Memento mori by @gaiuswrites
Rated E | One Shot | <1k
Thank you so much, again! 💕 Please give these fics and writers some love for all their hard work.
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Description: the team is off on a case, and you’re all staying in a house together. You can’t sleep, and you run into a very sweet someone with the same problem. Maybe you could work something out?
Warnings - very fluffy
You sighed softly, rolling over like it would somehow make more of a difference than the last hundred or so times you’d tried it. But no, staring at the ceiling wasn’t going to get you anywhere.
You folded the covers back carefully and stood, pulling a big sweatshirt over your pajamas and leaving your room, padding down the hallway in your socks.
You just needed a cup of tea, that was all. You were working on a stressful case.
You pulled a hair tie off your wrist and piled your hair on top of your head, tying it up in a bun and pushing open the door to the kitchen carefully. You had to be quiet, staying in a house with everyone. It was pretty big, sure, but even so, you didn’t want to run the risk of waking someone. You picked out a mug and put the kettle on, leaning against the counter and fiddling with the strings of your hoodie absentmindedly as you waited.
When you finished making your tea, along with a last minute piece of toast, you headed into the living room, only to find a person already there, silhouetted against the light of a warm fire crackling in the fireplace.
They turned around when they heard the door open, seemingly just as surprised as you at your sudden meeting.
You advanced, coming to sit in a squashy armchair, smiling softly when you were finally able to make out the person’s features.
“Spencer,” you smiled softly. “Couldn’t sleep either?”
He shook his head a little. “I’m sorry, did I wake you up?”
“No, no, I was just up anyway. Lots on my mind, I guess.” You took a sip of tea, wincing a little at the heat and setting it down. “Do you mind me intruding?”
“No,” he gave you a crooked, slightly sheepish smile. “In fact, it’s sort of nice to know I wasn’t the only one having trouble getting some sleep.
You smiled, and the two of you fell into an easy rhythm. You came over to sit with him on the couch, relishing the warmth of the fire - and him - in exchange for a quarter of your piece of toast.
“Here,” he leaned over and tucked a soft blanket around you carefully, smiling. “It’s a lot colder up here, huh?”
“Mm,” you smiled. “Is there one for you?”
“Well, actually, no,” he said, suddenly flustered. “there’s just that one but I’m fine, there’s no need to worry, so-”
“Nonsense,” you opened a blanket-clad arm. “There's no reason why we can’t simply share, if that’s alright with you.” you knew he wasn’t big on physical contact, but neither were you, for the most part. The two of you had always shared an easy understanding about this, and because of that, gone to each other when that little bit of physical touch was necessary, after a particularly hard case, or simply a long day.
He watched you for a moment before scooting closer, letting you pull the blanket around him too.
“So what are you here for?” you asked, smiling softly.
“Hah, it’s really dumb.” he licked his lips a little nervously.
“Just tell me. I won’t laugh, I promise.”
“I mean…” he made a face. “I don’t...like the dark. It makes me feel all creepy-crawly. I usually have this little light - it looks like a tiny old-fashioned lamp and it glows purple.” he blushed a little, which was incredibly endearing.
“I told Morgan that I read a study that sleeping next to purple light is good for you psychologically, so I’d appreciate it if you refrained from telling him that it’s basically a glorified night-light.”
“Of course,” you smiled softly, pulling him in and ruffling his hair fondly. “In fact, I have a little diffuser that lights up, if you want to borrow it for our stay.”
“Really?” he asked, relieved. “I’m not, like stealing it from you while you’re using it, right?”
“I really don’t mind,” you shrugged a little. He gave you an incredulous look, and you chuckled. “Really.”
“Alright,” he still looked a little sheepish. “What are you here for? If you don’t mind me asking?”
“Ah, I get nightmares, sometimes, when I get stressed.” you made a face like you’d just tasted something sour. “At home - and if you tell anyone this I will cheerfully murder you - I’ve got a bunch of pillows and stuffed animals and things I can use to fill up my bed and cuddle with, but it’s not like I can just pack up a literal ton of those in a go bag.” you gave him a little half-smile, rolling your eyes at yourself.
“No, no, that makes sense! I mean it’s not illogical, cuddling facilitates the release of oxytocin, which is a hormone that suppresses your cortisol levels.” When you looked confused, he continued on, a little embarrassed. “Cortisol is a stress hormone that triggers your fight-or-flight response. People with a healthy sleep-wake cycle have lower cortisol levels, so it makes sense that you sleep better when you have something to cuddle with.”
He shot you a sheepish look. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to go all Dr. Reid on you all of a sudden.” he yawned a little. “You can interrupt me anytime when I go off like that.”
“I would never! Also, I think that’s really interesting. Makes me feel less ridiculous, you know?” You yawned as well, handing him another quarter of toast and finishing your last piece as well.
You were feeling pretty tired by this point, struggling to keep your eyes open.
You let out a breath when he hesitantly wrapped an arm around you, head automatically going to rest on his shoulder.
“Tell me something else. Another fact, or something.”
You barely heard him as he spoke this time, simply registering the highs and lows of his voice. It was like a lullaby, the softest, most relaxing one you’d ever heard. And he was so warm, and soft, and solid next to you…
Needless to say, you fell asleep pretty quickly.
The two of you would pay the price for it in the morning, when the team found you passed out on the couch, and decided that photographic evidence of the two of you spooning - arms wrapped around each other, legs intertwined, a blanket draped haphazardly around you - was necessary, along with two maker mustaches and other doodles that were, thankfully, not in permanent marker.
And then again, a week after that when they posted said photos all around the precinct.
But for now, you were perfectly content. And you wouldn’t regret it, that much you were sure of.
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🛀 and 🌹
What I would give for something so relaxing rn
After a long and stressful day, you come home to find Bakugo preparing a hands-free, all relaxing bath for you. His romantic side doesn't show often, but comes out at the right times usually. Roses and candies and candles and those little soaps that you just sprinkle on top of the water. He takes your bag from you, helps you out of your clothes, assures you that he'll take care of everything.
You don't lift a finger. He washes you down with gentle hands, letting you rest with your head on one of those bath pillows. He basks in the smile on your face and the moans of relief as it takes over. You could fall asleep in there and he would finish up so quietly so as not to disturb you.
He continues on even after the bath with a pedicure to follow, especially if you've been on your feet all day. A whole treat. At home spa treatment courtesy of such a fantastic husband. He does your nails, he gives you a massage. He made dinner and so he'll feed you.
After pampering you and feeding you, he'll lay with you in a sensual and slow moment of pure love. No words have to be said between the two of you. He just listens to your soft moans and feels your nails dig into his back. Your hold on him is enough to tell him everything he needs ro know. And he'll spend the time kissing you all over your neck while making love to you. He is a man of action. Let him show you everything he's got. And it'll end with him holding you and kissing your head. You fall asleep fast curled up to him. And he lays there thinking about how to make the next time even better.
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SOUR PATCH KIDS
Bucky Barnes x Reader - Mild angst, tooth-rotting fluff.
Summary: Reader has been struggling with stress at work and Bucky finds a way to cheer her up.
Warnings: Neck biting/kissing, emotional exhaustion, burnout, skipping meals due to stress, mentions of spiders.
A/N: This is my first fic being posted on this page! I had the idea pop into my head when eating some Sour Patch Kids the other night and decided to make a fluffy one shot. Enjoy!
(Do not repost my work on any other platforms. I’m only on Tumblr.)
Bucky was a very observant person. After fighting in the war and having to use his senses to get him out of a lot of dangerous situations, he was often found scanning the room as he walked in. It wasn’t always for threats, though the paralyzing fear of danger was still ever-present in his heart. Sometimes his excellent sense of sight was used for good. There were multiple times when he caught a falling dish, or when he saw a rogue spider in the corner of the room, which Bruce always insisted on saving. But these days his eyes were scanning for something, or rather someone.
Ever since you had permanently moved into the Avenger’s compound a few months back, Bucky Barnes has yet to peel his eyes away. He had to admit, you made the quiet soldier with a tough-guy attitude very nervous. An unmistakable heat always shot up to his cheeks when you waved at him, and the dormant butterflies in his stomach came to life in a dizzying swarm. It took him a while to admit to the feelings he was having, and after some encouragement from Sam, he decided to ask you out.
The task was one of the hardest things he ever did, nearly tripping over every word he spoke as he invited you to the coffee shop across the street for a latte and muffins. It was also one of the most rewarding things he ever did. The date was so successful, you both instantly clicked, and after a few weeks of dating, Bucky became your boyfriend.
The hundred and four-year-old man found himself enamored by you on the daily; from the way you always woke him up with a kiss on his forehead before you slipped out of bed to go on a run with Steve and Sam, or the way you paid attention to all his quirks. You knew how he liked the bed made, with the extra pillow behind his to keep his sore neck propped up from the weight of his arm and the occasional hand touches when he was getting lost in his head. He was amazed by your perceptiveness, always seeming to pick up on the shifts in his mood or when he needed some extra TLC. He tried to reciprocate as much as he could, paying attention to your daily routine so he could make it easier for you, and getting your favorite takeout on Monday nights when work was the most stressful. His efforts never ceased to make you smile.
There was something off about the past few days though. Bucky had noticed the way your mind was elsewhere, and the extra tension held in your shoulders as you replied to your boss’s incessant texts. Your work as the media manager for the team was great, it rewarded you with phenomenal pay, a place to live, and incredible benefits, but the ever amounting stress was draining. Having to take care of the image of the world’s greatest heroes was a lot, much more than one person could handle, and your assistant had just quit. The new tasks at hand were sucking the life out of you, and Bucky was well aware.
There wasn’t much he could do about your work problems, being an Avenger kept him busy most days, not to mention the hours of therapy he had to attend. You always tried to find time to be together, especially on weekends, but for the past two of them, you had to cancel plans to catch up on work.
Bucky tried to understand, to offer to help you or coerce you to put the laptop down and go get a drink to relax, but he was always met with I can’t tonight, babe. Maybe next week? He was worried for you, and he didn’t know how he could help.
This morning was the same as all the rest, you getting out of bed early to get ready for work, leaving him with a quiet kiss on the cheek before you disappeared into the bathroom to apply your makeup and get dressed. He let out an exasperated sigh, pushing his heavy body off the satin sheets to walk to the dresser. He threw on one of his simple black shirts and headed to the kitchen to make some coffee for you. It was the least he could do. He leaned against the counter and watched the sunrise in the sky outside the large kitchen window as the coffee brewed, almost falling asleep standing up before he heard the crash in the bathroom. His eyes shot open, the blood-pumping organ in his chest clenching in fear before he ran to go see what it was.
“Y/N, you okay?” He frantically asked. He didn’t wait for you to answer before he pushed the door open. When he saw you sat on the floor with tears welling in your freshly lined eyes, his face fell. “Doll, what happened? Are you hurt?” He sank to his knees beside you, cupping your face as he scanned over your body for injuries. As he searched, he noticed the broken container of face powder that had busted all over your black skirt, coating you in shimmer.
“I got dizzy and fell on my ass, but I broke the fall with my expensive powder.” Your voice broke, choking back a sob as you looked down at your ruined pencil skirt in defeat.
“Oh, doll…” He sighed, taking the broken plastic container from your hand and setting it on the counter before he pulled you into a hug, his flesh hand running up and down your back. “When’s the last time you ate?”
He had left dinner out for you last night after you texted him you’d be late, but you never touched the plate, opting to go to sleep instead. “Yesterday morning,” You shyly admitted, wiping your nose as you sniffled.
He pulled back, resting his metal hand on your cheek, turning your face to look at him. He saw the sunken look of your teary, bloodshot eyes and it shattered his heart. “I made you some coffee, and I’ll make you some breakfast, okay? Let’s get you a new skirt.” He helped you up, unzipping the ruined garment around your waist.
“Thank you, Bucky. Sorry I scared you.” A tired breath left you as he helped you step out of the material, walking to the closet to grab the burgundy skirt that hung on the door handle you’d left there from creating an outfit this morning.
“I’m worried about you, Y/N. I know you’ve been swamped at work but they are running you ragged.” He handed you the garment, looking into your eyes as you slid it on, holding his shoulder to steady yourself.
“I know. Hopefully, by the end of this week, I should have a new assistant. For now, I just have to keep going.” You placed your hands on his broad chest, resting your forehead on his as he zipped the skirt for you, his cool metal fingers brushing over the skin of your waist.
“If you don’t get one by next week, I’ll be your assistant.” He sighed, squeezing your hips gently.
A soft chuckle left you as he smiled. “Bucky, you can barely FaceTime me. I don’t think you could handle being a Media Manager’s assistant.”
He huffed, reaching down to grab the backs of your thighs to lift you, wrapping your legs around his waist. “As long as I can spend time with you, I’ll do anything you want. I miss my doll.”
You couldn’t help but smile at his affection. Truth be told, guilt had been clouding over you from the lack of intimacy you two had recently, and you wanted nothing more than to drop everything and spend the day in bed, but you didn’t want to get fired.
“Now, sit here and I’ll make you something quick.” He set you on the counter, kissing you softly before he walked to the cabinet to grab some bread to put in the toaster.
“Yes, sergeant.” You giggled, buttoning your blouse as he grabbed two plates. “I should be home around five tonight, hopefully.”
He nodded, spreading some peanut butter on the toast before handing it to you. “I’ll be here. I’ll get us takeout from the Chinese place, okay?” He stood between your legs, resting his hands on your thighs as you ate.
“That sounds amazing, thank you.” You smiled.
After you left, Bucky went to his therapy appointment, and kept his promise, walking to the Chinese place a few blocks away. He stopped in a few stores along the way to kill time, grabbing a few new pairs of jeans to replace his ripped ones. He glanced at his watch, excitement blossoming in his chest when he saw the time, four-thirty. Half an hour more and he’d see you again.
On his way into the restaurant, he heard the familiar chime of your text tone. He pulled the phone from his back pocket to read.
‘Hi, honey. I’m so sorry, there was an emergency with Dr. Strange, and I have to release a statement. I’ll be home later than I thought :(‘
The text pulled a dramatic sigh out of his lungs, his heart weighing heavy with disappointment, but most of all he was worried. After this morning, he knew you were reaching close to burnout if you hadn’t already surpassed it. He walked into the restaurant and ordered your usual takeout choice.
On the way back home, he passed by the corner drugstore, and a certain color caught his eye. A bright display next to the refreshments in the window of Sour Patch Kids. A smile spread on his face at the green bag. When you first started dating, he always found you somewhere in the compounds’ movie room, snuck off by yourself to watch a cheesy horror movie while eating nothing else but the sour candy.
He had never been a fan of sour things, especially not as sickly sweet as those, but he quickly grew to love them. Especially when you’d eat all the red, blue, and green, explaining to him how they were the best flavors in the whole bag. When you had sufficiently eaten all of your favorite flavors, he would gingerly take the bag from your hand and eat the yellow and orange candies, which became his favorite. The mutual agreement of sharing a bag became a tradition between you two.
One day, after a particularly rough mission, he snuck off to the movie theater to cry in the dark, taking your hiding space in the back row of seats when he thought you were at work. When your soft footsteps interrupted his quiet sobs, his teary blue eyes blinking away the tears to look up at you, he’d always remember the laugh that rumbled through his achy chest when you handed him the brand new bag of Sour Patch Kids you’d just bought for yourself. You talked for hours that day, and it was the moment he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you.
The sight brought back the emotions, the feelings, and most of all, the reminder of how much you meant to him. He quickly pushed open the glass door and walked to the display, grabbing the largest bag.
When you pushed the door to your shared room open at the late hour of midnight, Bucky heard your keys and purse drop onto the marble table. He heard the heavy thud of your heels hitting the floor, but what caught his attention most was the quiet sniffles you were trying to hide.
He walked out of the bedroom, flicking on the light. “Doll?” His face fell when he saw the running mascara and your slumped form.
“Hey.” You forced a smile, wiping the tears off your face. He rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist in an instant. “I’m sorry it’s so late.” You let yourself crumble in his hold, crying into his light blue cotton shirt.
“Don’t worry about that.” He rested his chin on your head, rubbing your back as you let your emotions go “Please tell me you found an assistant.” When you tilted your head to look at him, his hands instantly found your cheeks, the pads of his thumbs wiping away the falling tears as his sympathetic sapphire irises flicked between yours.
“I did.” A tired smile formed on your lips when he let out a sigh of relief, shutting his eyes before he crashed his lips onto yours. A surprised squeak left you before you melted into the kiss, surely smearing lipstick all over his mouth as he pulled your chest flush to his, his tongue gliding against yours in desperate hunger. When you pulled back again to catch your breath, his lust-blown pupils met yours. “And I have a week off.” You smirked.
His eyebrows shot up towards his hairline, “Are you serious?” Your nod made him smile before he crouched down and grabbed your middle, throwing you over his shoulder as you fell into a fit of giggles. “Never letting you leave again.” He nearly growled, biting the exposed skin of your upper thigh as he smacked your ass.
“Bucky put me down!” You laughed, blushing as he set you down on the couch, knowing damn well he wasn’t going to leave you alone for the next seven days.
“I got you something, hang on.” He pecked your lips, ignoring your laughs when you saw the cherry red pigment on his mouth. He ran to the bedroom and returned with a small brown paper bag, sitting next to you. “Here.”
“What’s this?” You smiled, taking the bag from him as he excitedly waited for you to open it. You slid your hand inside, pulling out the plastic candy bag and looking at the neon-colored packaging. “Oh, Bucky…” It was such a simple thing, something so easy to find that would be meaningless to others, but the sight brought an ear-to-ear grin to your lips, along with tears that fell freely down your cheeks. You looked up at him through the glassy tears, “Thank you.”
“I saw them in the pharmacy and thought about that day in the theater when I was upset.” He smiled, wrapping his arm around your shoulders, “That day I knew I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life, rain or shine, any ups and downs. I’ve been feeling down without you, but it’s not your fault. I am here for you doll, just as you have been for me. I love you, and I’m proud of you for pushing through even though you’ve been stressed. I admire you so much.”
His words went straight to your chest, pulling at your heart before you wrapped your arms around him, hugging him tightly and nuzzling your nose into the crook of his neck, inhaling his cologne. “I love you too. I promise I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. Thank you for supporting me. And thank you for the candy, it’s been so long since I’ve had them.” You chuckled, sniffling as you kissed his neck.
“Does that mean maybe this time I can have a few blue ones?” He smirked, sighing as your lips danced across his skin.
“Listen, I said I loved you, but that seems a bit extreme.” You laughed, the sound music to his ears.
“Not even a red one?” He teasingly pleaded, squeezing you gently.
Later that night, after eating the reheated Chinese food, you decided to watch Bucky’s favorite movie, The Hobbit. He was laid between your legs, his back against your stomach and his head on your chest. His hands lazily massaged your thighs as you ate your candy, occasionally handing him a yellow one. When he reached his hand up for you to give him another, you bit your lip, setting a blue candy in his palm. He didn’t even look before popping it into his mouth. You waited before he noticed, and when he did his reaction made you burst into laughter. He turned around, resting his chin between your breasts.
“So that’s what they taste like.” He scrunched his nose when you giggled, his hands grabbing your hips and pinning you down before he kissed your neck. “You’ve been keeping these from me for a reason, you little shit.” He bit your neck, smiling as you laughed under him.
You knew from that point on you’d be sharing them, especially if it made him do that every night.
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the right person || t.n. x reader
summary: sometimes all you need is your person there to help you fall asleep.
warnings: mentions of medication - like sleeping meds (if there is anything that I've missed, feel free to DM me and I'll add it)
note: I kinda tried a new format with this one, used all lower case letters, and I kind of like it but let me know what you guys think! Also, this is quite eh in my opinion but I hope you all like it!
sleep was something that was not coming easily as you laid flat on your back in bed. you had tried a number of different sleeping positions to try and fall into a deep slumber so that you'd have enough energy to do the things you needed to get done for the next day. unfortunately, there wasn't any muggle medication in the house, and it was far too late to go out and buy a sleeping potion. even putting on some background noise didn't seem to help you fall asleep.
standing slowly, as to not creak the floorboards underneath your feet, you moved carefully throughout your room. after tidying up a bit, you still weren't feeling any more tired. so, you grabbed a pair of pajama pants and pulled them on before walking out into the hallway. it was cold but you didn't mind, it was always cold in the house. theo and his stupid slytherin habits, always setting the thermostat to the mid-sixties. you didn't usually mind since it meant you could steal his clothing and then blame it on him for keeping it feeling like the arctic in your shared apartment.
the walk to theo's bedroom was short; you knocked quietly on his door. "theo?" you called from outside the door and when you heard no response you decided to crack the door open and wander in anyhow. making your way over to his dresser, you quietly stole another one of his sweaters and slipped it on over top of your pajama top.
he looked so peaceful sleeping and you prayed that he wouldn't wake up when you shuffled in beside him. you cautiously moved back the covers just enough to slip underneath and got yourself comfy up against his chest, your head resting on his warm chest. it was as though the late hour caught up with you all at once because you immediately felt exhausted as you threw your leg over his torso, holding onto him tightly. finally able to find sleep, you let it consume you.
stirring from his sleep he couldn't help but feel the coldness radiating off of your body. your cold hands resting on his chest. it startled him at first, finding another person in his bed when he was sure he had fallen asleep by himself the previous night. his heart ached as he looked down to find you cuddling close to him. "good morning to you, pretty love," he whispered pulling your body closer to his. you stirred slightly but he ran his fingers through your hair, lulling you back to sleep.
he couldn't help but notice the sweater you were wearing, it was his sweater. while usually, he would tease you for stealing his things, he always found it absolutely adorable the way you looked in his things. leaning down, he smeared a kiss against your forehead before resting his head back against the pillows. he could tell you were slowly coming out of sleep as you shifted against him, ignoring the way your icy feet pressed against his legs, he held you tighter.
"hmmm, good morning," you mumbled, eyes still fully closed.
"is everything alright?"
"just couldn't sleep last night is all." he hummed in response, running his hand up and down your back. deep down, he was ecstatic to hear that you came to him when you were having trouble. he may not be able to admit it to you just yet but he loved you, he was sure of it. it would take a bit more time before he was ready to say it to you.
"what time did you come in last night?"
"round two, missed you a lot. why do we have to sleep in separate rooms? it's not like we aren't together," you whined quietly.
"you're right, baby. let's make one of our bedrooms into ours." your eyes fluttered open now to look into his.
"really?" his thumb brushed over your lip, leaning down to leave a quick peck to it.
"of course, sometimes i have trouble sleeping without you in my bed too."
"love you," you whispered sleepily, readjusting yourself on his chest. he could've sworn that he died, hearing you say those words had his heart racing out of his chest.
"love you too, darling." he let you fall back asleep, quickly leaving another kiss on to your forehead before falling back asleep himself.
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First of all, love your writing, perfect for some binge reading!
I was wondering if you could do a little fic about Harry noticing all the little anxiety tics that you have (bouncing a knee, picking at fingers, etc) and maybe one time where he like helps you stop doing them and calms you down or something? I would love anything you do with this request so go off I guess! 💕
well first of all i love YOU😚😚😚 thank you so much! hope you like it :)
warnings: anxiety, mild panic
word count: 1.6k
Harry was very perceptive. He noticed little things about you that others didn't, like when he surprised you with a gift you had only glanced at in a store window when walking past. You had no idea how he managed to be so observant, but you definitely appreciated it. It was nice when he understood you were ready to go home before you even said anything, or how he could always tell when you had a bad day and needed comfort.
He could also tell when you were anxious, especially because you had a few tells he had noticed. Like now, when you were sitting across the table from him at his favorite restaurant. It was one of the first times the two of you had gone out in public together, since he wasn't big on the idea of everyone knowing he was dating someone and you weren't big on the idea of thousands of people knowing who you were. But tonight, Harry had asked if you would come out with him. It was your 6 month anniversary, and he said he would feel bad if he didn't do something special for you. So you agreed, not realizing how stressful it would actually be. Which led to tonight, when your leg was bouncing a hundred miles a minute and you had picked off nearly all your nail polish. You felt terrible for not being able to focus on Harry, but it was hard to pay attention to him when you could feel people looking at you. Harry knew how anxious public situations like this could make you, so he did everything he could to make it easier. He had requested to be seated in the back corner of the restaurant, and he had you sit with your back facing the room so you wouldn't have to see anyone else. He booked the reservation for a Tuesday night to avoid the weekend busyness, and he even arranged for the two of you to come in the back door so the paparazzi wouldn't spot you coming in. Despite all this, you were a nervous wreck, and he could tell.
"Are you okay, love? If it's too much we can go home," he offered, a concerned look on his face.
"No, I'm fine," you shook your head. You had made up your mind that you were not going to bail again. You had already done that in the middle of three other dates, and you felt terrible every time. He always reassured you that it was fine, but you were worried he would start to get annoyed. "I'm just... I'm hungry." Hopefully he would believe that your fidgeting was because of impatience, not anxiety.
"You don't have to lie," his face softened. "Are you sure? I promise I won't be upset if you want to go home."
By now you had picked all your nail polish off and moved on to pulling at your cuticles. Harry saw this and reached across the table to still your hands, smiling gently. "What do you think?"
"I want to stay," you said decisively. "I don't want to bail again."
"Don't just do it for me," he said, not letting go of your hands. "If you need-"
"I'm fine," you cut him off. "Thank you, but I'm okay."
"Okay," he smiled again, looking down at the menu. "So what sounds good?"
"Uh... i have no idea," you said, looking down at your own menu. "I'm just gonna order whatever you do."
"Sounds good," he laughed. "I was thinking the chicken cordon bleu crepes, they're excellent here," he said thoughtfully, scanning the paper in front of him.
"I have no idea what that is," you replied. "But I trust your taste, so I'll go with it."
Just then, the waiter came over to take your orders. Harry ordered for you, since he knew that was another thing that made you anxious. You squeezed his hand gently and thanked the waiter when he took your menus.
Once the waiter was gone, you looked up at Harry with a small smile. "Thank you for that, I know it's kind of silly that it stresses me out that much just to order food."
"It's not silly," he frowned. "If it's a big deal for you, it's a big deal for me. I want to do everything I can to make you comfortable." He trailed off at the end of his sentence, his eyes focusing on a point somewhere behind you.
You furrowed your brow in confusion. "What's-"
"Looks like they found us," he sighed. Your eyes went wide and you turned quickly to see what he was talking about. There was a huge group of people crowded outside the front door and windows, yelling and pushing each other and trying to take pictures through the glass. You turned back around quickly, heart rate spiking as you processed what you had seen.
"It's okay, honey, they can't get in," he assured you. "They probably can't even see us."
You both knew that was a lie, but you appreciated his effort to comfort you.
It wasn't enough, though.
"No, they can see us, otherwise why would they be going crazy?" you asked, your breathing becoming unsteady. "This is not good- Harry they're going to take pictures of us and-"
"Hey, hey, it's okay," he said, thankfully staying calm even though you were on the verge of panicking. "Why don't I go talk to the manager, they'll get everything sorted out-"
"No! Don't leave me here," you said quickly, your hand tightening around his.
"Okay, I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "Let me just..." he waved his free hand at the waiter, gesturing him over. "Can i speak with someone about the situation outside?" He asked, politely but firmly.
"Yes, right away sir," the waiter nodded quickly.
"They'll take care of it," he soothed, stroking his thumb over the back of your hand. "You're alright, it's going to be fine."
The manager walked over to your table, looking frustrated and apologetic. "I am so sorry for the mess outside, our security is working on it, and we will alert the authorities if needed," he said, wringing his hands. "Your meal is on the house tonight, of course, and please let me know if you need anything else."
"Oh, that's not necessary-" Harry started, but the other man interrupted.
"No, no, it's on us. This should not have happened, someone must have tipped them off that you were here. Again, my sincerest apologies. Is there anything you need?"
"No, we're alright, thank you," Harry smiled politely.
The man nodded before leaving the two of you alone again.
The crowd outside had finally begun to disperse, but you weren't feeling any calmer. Your heart was still racing, and it was difficult to draw a full breath. On top of that, everyone else in the room was staring at you now. Before it had just been glances here and there, but now all eyes were on you and Harry.
"I'm not feeling well," you said shakily. Your leg was bouncing enough to shake the table and he could feel your hand trembling in his. "I need-"
Harry could tell that you were staring to panic, so he took action quickly. He stood up, moving his chair around the table and setting it next to yours. He sat down and put his arm around you, breathing deeply and evenly to calm you down.
"You're alright," he said quietly, leaning in to kiss your temple. "Just breathe with me."
You tried your best to follow his instructions, your shaky breaths slowly beginning to match his measured ones.
"That's it, my good girl," he whispered against your skin. He could still feel your leg jumping up and down, so he placed his other hand over it, stilling it with a gentle pressure. "You're doing good, baby, just focus on me. Nobody else matters, we're the only ones here right now."
You nodded lightly, leaning against him for support. "Right, they don't matter," you repeated. "It's just us."
"Just us," he smiled gently. "That's right."
Harry stayed next to you for the whole dinner, never moving his hand from your leg. When it was time to go he put his jacket around your shoulders and his arm around your waist, leading you out of the restaurant and into the car.
"I'm sorry for freaking out in there, i just got kind of scared and-"
"Baby, you don't ever have to feel bad about that," he said, pulling you closer to him. "I'm sorry it even happened, it shouldn't have."
"It's okay, I know i have to get used to it, it's just hard," you said quietly.
"I know it is," he sighed. "I wish you didn't have to deal with it at all. I can't have the crazies scaring you away from me," he laughed, leaning down to kiss your cheek.
"They won't scare me away, i like you way too much for that."
"That's good, because I like you even more."
You smiled, leaning your head against his chest to listen to his heartbeat. "I love you," you said quietly.
"I love you too." He smoothed his hand over your hair and tightened his arm around you. He looked down, smiling when he noticed that for the first time in weeks, your legs were still.
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