#CRYING IVE BEEN WAITING FOR HIS COMEBACK FOR SO LONG | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

faelid · 2 years

Text

Malignatas: Chapter IV

Malignatas, a Kihyun x Reader mini-series

Chapter 4: Truths

WC: 2.5k

Warnings: none

Summary: You and Kihyun thought you knew what you were getting into when you decided to make your relationship public. Neither of you were prepared for a curse from a spiteful fan, cast to keep you apart forever.

[Chapter 1] [Chapter 2] [Chapter 3]

In the beginning, nothing hurts.

Honestly, you don’t even notice anything has happened. The sensors all seem to be working, except it seems like no one’s actually using the interface, not connecting to Bluetooth or checking steps or messages.

It’s just…quiet. There’s an odd heartbeat, probably because you’re not on a wrist, not actually catching a regular pulse, just being held close to skin. It’s odd, but not painful.

Even though the digitizer is completely destroyed, it doesn’t hurt.

Not until later. Later, everything hurts.

Even when you’re floating, swimming through a haze of memories and feelings, it hurts. It’s the only constant you can hold onto, because nothing else seems real. Not the strangers who lean over, not the food you eat, or your friends who keep visiting you.

Minhyuk and Jooheon always say something strange, look so sad, but you can’t remember why. They never bring flowers, though, and you can’t help but feel like they should have remembered to bring flowers.

Maybe if they had flowers, they wouldn’t be so sad.

You like Kihyun’s visits better.

Kihyun sneaks you food. This time he’s brought bubble tea, just enough for the two of you, which he shouldn’t have because it’s comeback season and he needs to be mindful of his calories, but he’s holding your hand and smiling and you can’t tell him no when he looks so relaxed.

His hands always feel so nice. Warm and a touch calloused, like he has to prove that he’s not just a pretty boy. If you were selfish, you’d tell him to never let go, but you know that there are other people out there he needs to thank, people he needs to reciprocate support for, and you never want to get in the way of that.

You make sure he knows you have dibs, though, and he laughs, laughs his beautiful Kihyun laugh as he bounces your hand in his on the white sheet, and he looks like he’s going to say something else but then Jooheon and Minhyuk are back and he just kisses you on the nose and slides away like he’s been caught someplace he’s not supposed to be.

You tell him not to go, he can stay, but he doesn’t listen, and the room gets a little duller when he goes, the pain a little stronger.

You hope he comes back soon. The other two aren’t any fun today. They hold your hands, too, but it’s not the same. Jooheon is crying – his face is puffy, like he was crying before and he’s started all over again, and you feel like maybe you’re holding his hand, instead.

You try to give it a reassuring squeeze. You don’t know what’s wrong, but it has to get better soon. It’ll ruin his image if other people catch him crying, and you’re just teasing, but it makes him cry even harder.

———————————————————

Jooheon has had too many long days to count, first as a trainee, then as a performer, later as a writer. This one puts them all to shame.

It had started before dawn, with no sleep, when he’d waited with Hyungwon and Minhyuk for the EMTs to arrive, and even though they’d called the ambulance in advance, had planned it all out to be extra cautious since they didn’t know the extent of the damage, didn’t have time to find a better solution, the wait after sunrise was still too long.

Bad didn’t come close to describing it.

Minhyuk huddled close, looking like maybe he should have been in an ambulance too, white like a sheet and cold, shivering.

They let Hyungwon do the talking, exchange contact information while pretending their friend was a Jane Doe. As the ambulance drove away, he felt the bile rise up and he couldn’t stop it. He’d always been a little squeamish, but no one begrudged him his reaction this time.

When he was sure there wasn’t anything left in his stomach, they shuffled their way back to the dorm like a party of funeral goers.

Changkyun is on the couch when they let themselves in, Kihyun on his lap, looking grimmer, if possible, than he had leaving the concert venue, when he’d practically carried Kihyun home.

He doesn’t keep them waiting, doesn’t let the dread sink in.

“She’s gone.”

On a different day, a statement like that would have caused chaos, everyone yelling over each other to be heard. Instead, there’s silence, because shit like this can’t be made up. They don’t have to ask to know who, and maybe they shouldn’t be surprised anymore, but they are.

She was supposed to be in detention, but she’d vanished, slipped away like an eel into the night, even after Jooheon and Changkyun had escorted her out, turned her over to Starship security to press charges for trespassing and destruction of personal property.

Security had nothing to say for themselves, just promised they’d try to review the footage and track her down.

They still don’t know who she is and now they’re stuck. Waiting for her, waiting for security, waiting for a phone call from the hospital.

No one’s slept since yesterday, and Hyungwon has to suggest it even if he knows it’s in vain. Rest is the farthest thing from their minds. They try, anyway, maybe manage a half hour or two, sleeping in shifts while they wait for the phone to ring.

When it finally does, it’s mid-afternoon, and it’s the hospital. The woman they brought in is stable, they can come see her if they’d like, they say.

Jooheon knows he and Minhyuk should go, because they’re the mood-makers, but it’s still hard to see her looking so small and frail, except she doesn’t seem like she needs cheering up at all.

She’s too far gone, shot to the moon on painkillers, can’t remember anything he or Minhyuk tries to tell her. She doesn’t even seem to know where she is, puts on her support face and does what she can to try to cheer them up.

He’s given up trying to explain, because he can understand if she wants to forget, and maybe she’s earned the right to ignorance, at least for a little while.

It’s heartbreaking to watch her talk to Kihyun like he’s here in the room, two legged and everything, like he’s not home with Changkyun, probably doing his best to drain his battery so he doesn’t have to feel anymore.

That’s how Jooheon would do it, anyway. If he were in Kihyun’s shoes and had the option.

Instead, he’s stuck here trying to pretend everything is okay, that the curse never happened and two of his favorite people aren’t miserable. She's in and out of consciousness a lot, and that helps. He and Minhyuk get up and go for walks, because as painful as faking normalcy is, the silence is even more excruciating.

Sunset can’t come soon enough.

Later, the hospital staff wonder what happened to their Jane Doe. She vanishes without a trace; even the security cameras have no sign of her. They stop looking after a few days, wonder if it was a ghost.

They pretend she never existed, whoever she was.

———————————————————

When they bring the watch back, the glass is still cracked. Kihyun can almost see the screen, though, and that’s a comfort, even if the touch-response is erratic.

He doesn’t let it out of his sight.

After that first day at the hospital, after she’s stitched and stabilized, it seems like the curse figures out what’s supposed to happen, and she heals even when she’s not in her body, faster than expected but still not fast enough for his liking.

He leaves out a bottle of pills, leftover from an old fracture, just in case. No one will tell him the extent of her injuries, and he stops asking because it means he doesn’t want to know. She’s started leaving him messages again, though, and for that he’s grateful.

He needed the reassurance more than he wanted to admit.

He’s not wallowing as much as he was, but he doesn’t know what else to do except throw himself back into what he likes to do.

It’s sooner than they had decided on, but Changkyun gives him the compositions he wrote, and Jooheon, too, songs they were going to surprise him with later. His for a solo album.

It’s not perfect, but it’s a good distraction, and he loves them for it. He loved them, regardless, but at another time he’d be able to express how touched he is that they wrote songs for him. All he can do now is do right by them, do their songs justice.

He can’t do anything else, anyway, and this way he’s with his friends. Days pass where Jooheon and Changkyun spend their nights dozing off in the studio, letting Kihyun practice until well past midnight.

If they think it’s excessive, they don’t say anything. It’s better than letting him drink himself into a coma.

On the nights where they really do need their beauty sleep, he watches Netflix with Minhyuk and Hyungwon. They even bring him mint ice cream, and Minhyuk hates every minute he’s in the same room with it, willing to suffer only if it’ll bring a smile to Kihyun’s face.

It does, faint but still there.

Their tenuous routine is interrupted one night by the buzz of the intercom. Hyungwon and Minhyuk have a conversation with their eyes – did you order anything? No, I thought you did – but it buzzes a second time and Minhyuk answers it.

He thinks he might be seeing things.

Even with her hood up, he can tell that it’s her, that girl, and she’s standing outside, lurking in front of their gate. He resists the urge to rub his eyes, to make sure he’s not dreaming.

She keeps showing up out of nowhere, like a phantom. She looks like one, too. The camera isn’t good to begin with and maybe the pallor of her skin is due to the poor resolution, but even so she looks haunted, circles under her eyes.

It’s definitely her.

They can’t afford to let her vanish again. Minhyuk isn’t sure he trusts himself not to explode on her. It’s a testament to his personal growth that he recognizes it, realizes it’s better to take someone less volatile, and he makes Hyungwon come with him.

It’s always better if he or Changkyun does the talking.

They don’t let her in, not right away, but she flings herself at their feet and begs for forgiveness and it’s to avoid prying eyes more than anything else that they lead her upstairs. If she’s inside, at least they can keep tabs on her.

It’s her against five of them, after all, and Hyungwon is only slightly concerned about her safety, but even with tensions running high, they need her.

He knows Changkyun will remember that, even if Kihyun doesn’t.

He’d planned to wake the other two. She beats him to it just by being there, pulls them from their slumber at a run when she bursts into tears again as soon as she lays eyes on Kihyun.

She rubs trails of snot and tears onto her sleeves. She should probably care more, but she’s beyond that.

She thought he’d give her a chance. He hadn’t.

All she wants now is for him not to hate her.

She says it over and over again, until he finally snaps, and it shakes her out of her single-minded pleading.

“Stop.”

Kihyun is angry. It’s not red-hot anger, flying off the handle. It’s cold anger, hot coals after the fire has burned down, and like the coals it’s far more dangerous. He doesn’t want to forgive her, barely wants to see her, except that despite it all he needs to.

He needs to find out who she is, if not why. He needs her for the eclipse.

He wishes this counted for the confrontation. Wishes the star calendars were all misaligned, printed incorrectly, that the eclipse would happen today. The watch is snug on his wrist and he feels it’s weight like a dumbbell, and he instinctively covers the face, clamps the palm of his hand on top of it.

He’s not supposed to have to face this alone.

The girl was still sniffling as the others found perches. Someone brought a chair from the dining area, set her in front of the couch where everyone could keep watch.

His maknaes sandwich him on the couch, close but not touching, and he appreciates the support. No one else could pull off intimidation quite like they did, even if they were normally big softies.

They could be intense when the moment called for it.

“Why did you come back?” It’s the only question that mattered right now. They’d laid low since the incident, not wanting her to find out she’d failed in case she was willing to try again, but here she was.

“I didn’t mean to hurt you.” It’s the first thing she’s said that isn’t an apology, and it sounds genuine. It’s hard to accept, though, because in what world would her actions have done anything but hurt him?

He wants to call her on it, doesn't, but it must be in his eyes.

“Th-they said she was using you!” She looked tormented, like something inside has snapped and she’s finally come to grips with reality, and reality was a painful place to be. “If it weren’t for her, they said, it’d have been me, and she didn’t deserve you, she was going to ruin you.”

“That night –” She broke off with a strangled sob. “I thought if she was gone, you’d be free, b-but…” Hyungwon passes her a bottle of water. He’s as loathe to comfort her as anyone else, but he doesn’t want her to get hysterical again, either. They need answers.

She sips it with shaking hands until she can calm down enough to finish.

“You didn’t even look at me.” It’s a meek whisper, barely escaping, and she slumps in her chair. “I didn’t realize it until after, I just needed to get away. But it was never a spell, was it? Otherwise breaking the watch should have freed you and it didn’t.”

The quiet that follows is unbearable.

As pitiable and apologetic as she is, he’s been hovering on something approaching sympathetic. She’s just ruined it again, talking about what she did so nonchalantly, blithely dissociating the destruction of the watch from the person she’d nearly murdered in cold blood.

Kihyun grits his teeth. The others tense at their posts, whether to restrain or help him no one can say. Changkyun leans into him, a solid weight at his side, and he refocuses on what she said.

“Who is ‘they’?” He asks, not accepting the apology, not explaining himself, because of course there was never any spell binding him, nothing besides the enchantment of humor and friendship, long nights of deep conversations, mutual interests, and great sex.

It’s nothing she needs to know about. Nothing she deserves to know.

“K-kim Ha Jun…”

Her voice is so quiet, he’s not sure he heard it at first.

The words all make sense; the name she gives is a name. It’s almost familiar, too, except his brain refuses to wrap itself around it, refuses to accept it until Jooheon breathes it into existence, makes it real.

“It’s Starship.”

A/N: I started a comma counter. It turns out I can write sentences that aren't run-ons. ;)

Also...one more chapter!!

[Next Chapter]

#monsta x fanfic #monsta x reader #yoo kihyun #yoo kihyun x reader #yep we going there #ladyhawke!AU #im changkyun #lee minhyuk #lee jooheon #chae hyungwon

9 notes · View notes

jjmaybanksbaby · 3 years

Text

Where It Leads (Rafe Cameron)

Summer IV

Part 07: Crashing Down

series masterlist | previous part

summary: A jarring family emergency forces you to consider the future of your relationship with Rafe Cameron.

a/n: I'm a little bit emotional about this series ending because I've had so much fun writing it! Enjoy the last part and, as always, please come share your reactions with me in my inbox. Okay, that's all from me!

word count: 2.1k words

Rafe Cameron knew how to text. He was somehow witty, charming, and hilarious all in less characters than a single tweet. Texting with most boys was like talking to a brick wall: single-syllable answers, unironic uses of punctuation, asking “What are you wearing?” before even listening to how your day went. Though, to be fair, Rafe had asked that same question a few times, which always earned him a sarcastic answer in return. Well, except for that one time.

You’d been forced to spill the beans about your dreamy summer romance to Alice and Kensie after one of Rafe’s funnier texts almost made you pee yourself laughing at the lunch table.

“Oh, so he’s a stud muffin,” Alice announced, peering over Kenzie’s shoulder at the photo on your phone.

“Please god don’t call anyone a stud muffin ever again Al,” Kenzie replied.

“What? The 80s are like making a comeback.”

“Yeah, not that,” you countered and Alice huffed.

“He’s totally hot though,” Kenzie said, handing the phone back to you. “And I kinda hate you for not telling us about him.”

You looked down at the picture. Rafe was kissing your check while you grinned up at the camera, the golden hour lighting made the whole thing look rather enchanting. It was your favorite picture of you and him.

“Oh shit,” Kenzie said causing you to look up from the phone. “You’re like in love in love with him.”

“What? No,” you protested. Yes, your brain corrected.

Kenzie glanced over at Alice for backup.

“Besides, I wasn’t hiding him. I just didn’t know if there was anything there to...tell,” you finished.

“I wish I had a handsome summer fling with spectacular cheekbones,” Alice sighed.

“Don’t let your boyfriend hear you saying that.” Kenzie chucked a fry off her tray at Alice who dodged it expertly.

“Oh, please. Matty knows I would dump his ass for someone who looks like a young Chuck Bass any day of the week. Gimme your phone. I wanna see the photos again y/n.”

“I seriously don’t know how you and Matthew have been together for two years,” Kenzie replied.

“Are you kidding? They’re practically made for each other,” you added.

“The phone, please,” Alice interjected. “I wanna thirst over your mans while my boyfriend is sucking up to his English teacher so she doesn’t fail him. Of course, I told him he needed to actually read Wuthering Heights and not just sparknotes it. But did he listen? No. I picked a real winner y’all,” she finished, taking the phone from your outstretched hands. “You sure Rafe doesn’t have any brothers? Not even like a half-step brother?”

So yeah, going great. Against the odds of three thousand miles, the whole thing was somehow working. Long-distance friends with benefits? Check. Well, except for those moments when that nagging feeling in your stomach came back and you’d start overthinking everything. His texts would sit, unread in your phone for days or even a whole week, slowly sinking to the bottom of your messages.

Then came the call from the Kildare Country Hospital in the early hours of a foggy April morning. You should have gone to sleep hours ago but were still up, desperately trying to cram Maria’s lines into your brain while also texting Rafe. The Sound of Music opened in three weeks and your director had already chewed you out twice for not being off-book, something about being an upperclassman and the lead, and what kind of an example were you setting for the rest of the program. Big speeches were kind of your director's thing, you learned to just ride them out.

Around 1 a.m. your phone ran with an incoming FaceTime call from Rafe. You pressed the green acccept button, a smile spread across your face as Rafe’s own filled the screen.

“Hey Broadway Star.”

“Hi Rafe.” The dim lighting of his bedroom made his feature especially striking. “What are you still doing up?”

“Can’t sleep. Plus you’re up too so. How’s the memorizing going?”

“Shitty,” you replied, closing your binder with a sigh. “I’m too tired to do anymore of it tonight anyway.”

“You know, I was thinking I could come to Oregon for your opening night?”

“Really?” The possibility of Rafe sitting in the audience made your heart race.

“Yeah, why not? I’ll ask Ward if I can borrow the plane that weekend and I bet Sarah’ll want to come too. I wanna see my girl kill it. I miss you.”

“I miss you too, Rafe. You know my friends think you’re hot.”

“Oh, do they?” Rafe replied, rolling over onto his back in his bed.

“Don’t let it get to your head, Cameron.”

The home phone ran but you ignored it, much more invested in your conversation with Rafe. The second time the hospital left a message. Your Nonna’s heart had given out. The prognosis wasn’t good. She had barely any time left.

Your heart dropped as the words echoed over the speaker of the answering machine.

“Rafe,” you said, cutting him off momentarily. “I gotta go. I’ll call you back later. I gotta-” you ended the call before Rafe even had the chance to respond. You dropped your phone on the kitchen table, dashing up the stairs to your parents’ bedroom. Your father was booking a flight for your mother back to the Outer Banks minutes later.

The end had come so quickly, so unexpectedly. It was almost like that made it harder. There'd been just enough time for your mom and uncle to get to the Outer Banks, sitting on each side of your Nonna as her final breaths passed through her lungs. Now, everyone was there to say goodbye one last time. Uncle Austin and his fiancé. Your mom and dad. Both your siblings. The entire population of Figure Eight.

☼☼☼

Rain drizzled down from the dark, gray clouds looming overhead. It was as if Mother Nature was mourning your Nonna too, hiding the sunshine away.

Three baby ducks followed their mama into the man-made pond at the edge of the cemetery. You watched their tiny feet kick up small waves disturbing the peaceful water and the tears silently slipped down your face.

The cars were waiting to take you back to your Nonna's house for the wake. The same house with the for-sale sign now stuck in the front yard. The for-sale sign with Rose's patronizing grin that you were starting to really hate. Your dad had handled that. Listing the house. He'd handled most of the funeral arrangement's actually because your mother had been too sunken into her grief to make any decision. Sending out the invitations, picking out your Nonna's casket, choosing the flowers. Your mother clung to him during the entire funeral, weeping into his shoulder.

“Y/n?” Rafe's voice called out from behind you and you turned to see him walked toward you. He’d stood at the back of the church with his family during the funeral. You had longed for him to be sitting in the first pew next to you, to have had his hand to hold onto to ground you, but it hardly would have been appropriate. Your Nonna would have sooner risen from the dead than have had a Cameron front row at her funeral.

As soon as he was close enough, Rafe reached for you, pulling your body tight into him. Your head landed on his chest and the sobs came moments later. God, he always smelled the same. He just let you cry, holding you close, smoothing his hand over your hair.

“I know you’re selling your grandma’s house but I was thinking you could stay with me for the summer," he said as your tears began to slow. It was hard to imagine that you wouldn't return to the Outer Banks once school let out. It was the first week of May already and you could feel the tourist-attracting town waking up. But selling the house just made more sense. Your older sister was already living her life in New York, a real adult life. Next summer, you'd be moving out too, headed to college. The house would sit empty for eight months out of the year, your family couldn't keep it and your uncle certainly didn’t want it. Selling it just had to happen.

You stepped back, slipping out of his embrace. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Rafe.”

“Why not?”

“Cause we’re like Romeo and Juliet.”

“I copied Cleo’s notes for that unit," he joked, trying to lighten to damp mood. “Plus I was never a fan of Leo DiCaprio so I didn’t finish the movie either.”

“It means we’re not supposed to be together, you and me. And whenever we try, the universe rips us apart. We hurt each other.”

Rafe shifted awkwardly on his feet, clearly wanting to reach for you again but stopping himself from doing it. “But I can't lose you.”

You reached your hand out, brushing away a strand of hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. “Oh Rafe, don’t you get it? You never really had me.” You stood up onto your tiptoes to kiss him just like you had the first time three years ago. Rafe barely parted his lips, kissing you back gently. Your hand cupped his face, your thump stroking over his cheek. It was a goodbye. Both of you knew it. It was an ending and this was your closure. You pulled away, your hand falling away from his face.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say the actual words. Your eyes fell to the ground. You needed to walk away now. You side-stepped Rafe but he grabbed your waist, turning you back around to face him.

“So that’s it? You’re not even gonna try to fight for us?”

“What even is there to fight for, Rafe? I’ve been fighting for us for the past four years. If we were supposed to be together that car wouldn’t have crashed into ours, I wouldn’t have fallen for Evan when I did, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at my Nonna’s funeral. What? Are we supposed to do long distance for all of college? I hardly know who I am right now. I have no idea who I’ll be in the next four years. Our future selves might not even like each other. I’m not gonna wait around for you Rafe and I would never ask you to do that for me.” You twirled the small, star charm between your fingers, a nervous habit you'd developed over the past year. His eyes dropped down to your neck momentarily and his adam's apple visibly bobbing as he swallowed his next weeks.

“You were it for me, you know. I tried to give a fuck about anyone else but I couldn’t get your gorgeous, stupid face out of my mind. I only wanted you.” Rafe paused gauging your reaction “I was falling in love with you.”

Your eyes wandered over his stoic expression. “The feeling was mutual, Rafe Cameron.”

He dropped your wrist but you both stood, not moving or saying anything. “Do you wanna walk me back to the car?”

“Yeah.” He reached for your hand, interlocking your fingers. Your other hand held onto his bicep so you walked together through the graveyard back to the parking lot.

The moment felt precious and delicate, like the fragile china your Nonna used to collect. You wondered what would happen to all that china.

Rafe placed a chaste kiss on your lips before opening the door of the car.

“I’ll miss you,” you said, the words hanging in the air meaning so much.

“Me too,” Rafe agreed.

You wanted one more kiss, one more passionate declaration of how much this all had meant but that would make leaving Rafe so much more impossible.

You climbed into the car, dropping Rafe’s hand in the process.

“See you around Cameron.” You knew it wouldn’t happen but it felt better than a goodbye.

He smiled back. “Maybe so.”

Perhaps Rafe was right and you’d both end up at a small liberal arts college in California taking the same second-year Econ class with a professor who always smelled like weed. Perhaps the stars would align and two of you would realize the universe wasn’t trying to keep you apart. It was just waiting for the right moment to show you that the love you had for each other was the soulmates, forever and ever kind of love. Perhaps you would get married and Sarah would be your maid of honor, of course. You’d buy back your Nonna’s house to raise your troubling-making kids in. Perhaps, you would find your way back and wake up each day and choose each other again and again.

Or perhaps, he'd always be your right-person-wrong-time. And, in the end, the passing days will steal away your memories of the blue-eyed boy from the Outer Banks.

taglist! @oreoenthusiast13

#outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron series #obx netflix #obx #obx fanfic #where it leads series #where it leads

62 notes · View notes

afangirlsmenagerie · 3 years

Text

Recovery

A little Eruri drabble inspired by this video and a conversation with @plague-of-insomnia...enjoy! It’s also posted on ao3. ^_^

*~*~*

“Mr. Smith?”

Erwin glanced up from his book toward where the nurse stood by the door.

“Yes?”

“Your husband is in recovery. If you’d like to come with me.”

“Thank you.” he said with a polite smile, ignoring some of the looks of surprise from others in the waiting room as he gathered his and Levi’s things and followed the nurse into the recovery ward.

Some of the tension left Erwin’s shoulders as they passed by rows of closed curtains, behind which other patients waited for their loved ones while they slowly rejoined the land of the conscious. If Levi was here, that meant the surgery had been a success- that he was ok.

Erwin had tried to hide the worry he had about the procedure as best he could. He didn’t want Levi to have to be concerned with comforting him when he was the one going under the knife. But as soon as they had wheeled Levi out of his line of sight, the dam holding back his anxieties had given way and had spent most of his time pacing the waiting room or walking to the small concession room across the hall. It had only been in the past half hour when he saw Levi’s status switch from “in operation” to “post operation” that he had been able to relax enough to continue reading the book he had brought.

“Hey there, Erwin!” a familiar voice called.

Erwin’s face lit with a warm smile upon seeing Hange standing outside one of the recovery rooms, reviewing the charts.

“It’s alright, Petra, Erwin and I go way back.” They said to the petite nurse who had been Erwin’s guide, “So you can leave him with me.”

“Ok.” she nodded, before leaving the two with a professional, “Have a good day, Mr. Smith.”

Erwin returned her niceties in kind, though the brightness from his smile vanished when he turned his attention back to Hange, instantly replaced with the worry and exhaustion he felt safe showing only around his friend.

“So how is he?”

As if to answer his question, a low groan sounded from behind the curtain.

Hange chuckled.

“He’s doing fine. The surgery went beautifully. If you want, you can go in and sit with him while he finishes waking up.”

Erwin pulled back the curtain enough to slip into the small room. Levi stirred where he lay, but didn’t open his eyes when Erwin came to sit in the chair beside the hospital bed.

Once he had gotten situated, the rings of the curtains clinked and Hange stepped inside enough to hand Erwin a bottle of orange juice and a packet of crackers.

“Make sure he eats these when he wakes up.” They whispered, “It’ll help with the nausea.”

He gratefully took the snack with a quiet “Thank you” before Hange disappeared with the promise they would return in a few minutes to check in on things.

Now that they were alone, Erwin turned his full attention to his husband, blue eyes softening as his gaze wandered over the bandages, IV’s, and the ill fitting hospital gown that threatened to slip off Levi’s petite shoulders at any given moment. He couldn’t wait to get him home, where he could properly care for him. Maybe even spoil him if Levi gave him the chance. He’d probably complain the whole time, but his averted gaze and flushed cheeks would betray the hollowness of his objections.

Just then, Levi gave a groggy huff, pulling Erwin from his thoughts. His brows furrowed, heavy eyelids fluttering as they struggled to stay open, and his lips weakly smacked before he managed to hoarsely groan, “So dry.”

Erwin had the lid off the orange juice bottle in an instant, slipping in the small straw Hange had left as well.

“Here.” he soothed, slipping the straw between Levi’s lips, “Drink this.”

Levi’s tongue pressed against the plastic, as if trying to figure out what was in his mouth. Though his eyebrows lifted in recognition a few moments later and he began to drink, swallowing down mouthfuls at a time.

It wasn’t until he had guzzled down half the container that he stopped and rested his head back on the pillow with a contented sigh.

“Better?” Erwin asked with a grin.

Levi nodded slowly and hummed in agreement.

Now that he was starting to show signs that he was getting closer to full consciousness, Erwin quickly split open the cracker’s packaging, the clear plastic crinkling loudly when he pulled one of the crackers out and slipped it into Levi’s open palm.

“Hm?” Levi mumbled, his eyebrows scrunching in question before bringing the cracker a little too close to his face for inspection.

“Do you think you can eat this?”

Erwin bit his lip to keep from laughing when Levi gave another languid nod before taking a bite. His grey eyes remained focused on the curtain at the front of the room and chewed slowly, as if lost in some deep, pensive thought.

He seemed to pull himself from whatever had his mind preoccupied when he popped the second half in his mouth, turning his attention to Erwin, who had been patiently waiting in contented amusement. He had never seen him like this, not even on the few occasions when they’d gotten completely hammered back in college.

The moment his gaze rested on Erwin, however, he halted mid chew, his eyes going wide.

“Who are you?” He asked in wonder.

Erwin chuckled at the bits of cracker that fell from his lips. “What do you-?” He began, but Levi cut him off with another pressing question.

“Did the nurses send you?”

“What? No.” Erwin said, struggling to contain his laughter, handing him another cracker. “Here, this will help you feel better.”

Levi’s gaze never left Erwin as he took a small bite, his mind clearly trying to place how he knew him.

“Damn, you’re hot.” He mumbled, pausing briefly before motioning toward Erwin with the cracker, “Are you sure the nurses didn’t send you?”

Erwin nodded, humor lacing his voice. “I’m sure, Levi.”

“How the hell do you know my name?”

Erwin chucked again.

“I’m your husband.”

As soon as the word “husband” passed his lips, Levi’s eyes went comically wide.

“You’re my husband?” He asked, almost in disbelief and sank back against the mattress, his gaze focusing on the ceiling, whispering, “Holy shit, I’m married to the sexiest man on the planet.”

Erwin laughed softly at the blush that had begun to spread across Levi’s cheeks and the bridge of his nose.

Levi blinked up at the tiled ceiling for a few moments, seemingly to absorb this “new” information, before turning back to him.

“How long?”

“How long, what?”

“How long have we been married?”

Erwin smiled tenderly.

“A long time.”

The corners of Levi’s lips twitched with fondness.

“Do we have any kids?”

“No,” Erwin answered, gently taking Levi’s hand in his own, “We had to get you better first.”

“Oh.”

Levi’s attention drifted down to watch Erwin rub his thumb comfortingly against the side of his hand, falling silent for a couple of minutes.

“So we’re really married?” Was the question that finally broke his silence.

Erwin gave Levi’s hand a squeeze.

“Yes.”

The grey of Levi’s eyes softened like mercury, a rarely seen affection in his gaze before he said, “I must be one lucky fucker to have landed a man like you.”

At that, Erwin brought Levi’s hand up and pressed his lips firmly against the soft flesh, his heart swelling at his words.

“I feel the same.” He whispered, pressing the palm of Levi’s hand against his cheek.

As blue met grey, the first hint of clarity twinkled in Levi’s gaze before he moved to rest his hand on the back of Erwin’s head.

Erwin leaned in, allowing Levi to guide him with his feeble grip. His heart ached as his lips pressed against Levi’s, the heat and plush feel of them so familiar yet new somehow.

“Awww!” A loud cry sounded from behind them, shattering the tender moment.

Both Levi and Erwin jerked away from each other, their attention snapping to the culprit- Hange standing at the foot of Levi’s bed with a cell phone held up in their hands.

“Hange?!” Levi started, “What the hell?”

Hange poked their lip out with a pout, “I couldn’t help it. You two are just too cute!”

Both men’s gazes flitted from the shit-eating grin on their friend’s face to their phone and back several times, Levi’s face settling into a look of panicked horror, while Erwin’s expression was nothing but hopeful.

“Don’t tell me…,” Levi murmured.

“You recorded that, didn’t you?” asked Erwin.

“Yup,” Hange answered, puffing out their chest, “Got the whole thing.”

“Why you!” Levi snarled, “If you don’t delete that right now, I’m going to snap that phone in half as soon as I can walk.”

Erwin placed a staying hand on his husband’s shoulder, rubbing soothing circles to ease the tension that had already begun to coil there.

“Actually, could you send it to me?”

Levi’s attention turned to Erwin, betrayal in his gaze.

“Don’t tell me you’re on their side?”

“Come now, Levi.” Erwin cooed, flashing him a coy smile, “It’s not often that I get treated to this side of you. Think of it as a sentimental keepsake.”

Levi’s gaze narrowed to a scowl, a sharp comeback clearly on his tongue. However, a few moments later, his shoulders slumped and he gave a dejected huff.

“Fine.”

“Well, since I don’t have to fear for my life anymore,” Hange said, stepping over to the other side of the bed to shut off the IV, “Let’s work on getting you checked out.”

As Hange set to disconnecting the monitors and IV, Levi gave Erwin’s hand a firm squeeze.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, the tenderness from a moment ago shining in his eyes once more, an expression that was and would only ever be reserved for Erwin, “Let’s go home.”

#eruri #erwin smith #levi ackerman #eruri drabble #drabble #fanfiction #fluff #eruri fluff

55 notes · View notes

moonlit-imagines · 4 years

Text

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

#tony stark x daughter!reader #tony stark imagine #tony stark x reader #tony stark #iron man x daughter!reader #iron man imagine #iron man x reader #iron man #marvel x reader #marvel imagine #marvel #avengers x reader #avengers imagine #avengers

500 notes · View notes

cuddlepilefics · 3 years

Text

Lullaby and good night

Fandom: Stray Kids

Sickie/Little: Minho

Caregiver: Jisung

Minho’s POV.:

Our next comeback was approaching and 3racha had only finished up in the studio very recently. Now that all their tracks had been finished, it was the dance-line’s task to come up with choreographies. Being the oldest member of the dance-line, I felt a sense of responsibility, so I pretty much took the lead and spent most of my time in the practice room. In my free time, which was mostly at night, I went to the studio to practice my vocals. I knew I had to improve my singing, I read all the comments online, saying the only reason I was in the group was for my visuals. As much as it honored me that Stay found me handsome, as much did it hurt to hear I was good for nothing. Some nights I skipped entirely, not going back to the dorm at all and meeting up with my members for practice the next morning. Often it took a stern conversation with Chan-hyung to drag me back and get some rest. Couldn’t he see that I needed more time to practice? That I needed to work more to make up for the talent I was lacking? I hadn’t gone home after practice last night, instead dancing for another three hours before dragging my sore body to the studio to go over some of the new songs. I hoped with enough practice I’d get my lines down to perfection. It weren’t many anyways.

The next morning, I met up with Hyunjin and Felix to work on our choreos. The young Aussie was having a tough time, often messing up and being on edge the entire time. I saw his hands shaking every time he lost a step and his brows were furrowed as though he had a headache. Being a little myself, it didn’t take long for me to put two and two together. The poor boy was trying so hard not to slip but the stress was slowly getting to him. He wasn’t even there for a full hour before I decided to be a good hyung and send him home. It took a while for Felix to accept my decision, he didn’t want to hold us back and be a burden and I knew exactly how he felt but after quite some pushing from Hyunjin and me and a call to Chan, the dance-line maknae let the leader collect him from the practice room. From that on, it was only Hyunjin and me. We hadn’t even danced for that long but we were both drenched in sweat. My limbs ached and my protested with every movement. I doubted my dongsaeng felt any different but he put on a battle-face and soldiered on. Hyunjin really was something, though sensitive most of the time, when it came to dancing, he was pure professionalism. Not once did he complain about me torturing both of us with endless reruns of the same sequence. It was easy to work with him and seeing him be strong and push his exhaustion and pain away, gave me the strength to do the same.

We cut our lunch break short. Hyunjin gave me a proteinbar from his bag because I had eaten my last for dinner last night. I’d have to go back to the dorm soon to refill the snack-department of my practice bag. The break was just long enough to catch our breaths and force down a proteinbar and some water. Sure, it wasn’t a full meal but if we ate too much, the sharp movements would make us queasy. My eyes were burning and my head ached but on second thought, everything ached, so all I could do was suck it up and hope we’d finish soon. I was really craving a shower and my bed at this point. We had only resumed dancing for a few minutes, when my eyes were starting to bother me, well, bother me more than before. The bright overhead lights seamed distorted, casting strange shapes. I really shouldn’t wear my contacts for days on end. Blinking rapidly, I tried to clear my vision from the shimmering distortions before looking over at Hyunjin, squinting in an attempt to see him clearly. I’ve probably been staring at him for too long because he gave me a questioning look. The room suddenly shifted sideways before everything went black.

When I came to again, the first thing I heard was a loud howling noise quickly changing in pitch. It was too loud, my head was pounding and the noise didn’t help with that at all. Why couldn’t it just be quiet? I wanted to sleep. There were broken and half-suppressed sobs somewhere close. But where? It sounded a lot like Hyunjin. Trying to open my eyes, I failed as my eyelids seemed to be glued shut. There was a pressure around my hand, which seemed to come from the same direction as the sobs. Finally managing to blink my eyes open, I quickly closed them again and groaned as I hadn’t expected it too be so bright. I felt my hand being squeezed and I gave a weak squeeze back. There was also a voice that I didn’t recognize, words blurring together incomprehensible. Just wanting to sleep, I decided to ignore the voice and kept my eyes closed. It was too bright to open them anyways. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t go back to sleep. As soon as I became aware of the moist stickiness, with which my pants clung to me, it was too uncomfortable to get another minute of rest.

Through all the commotion, I kept my eyes closed. Why wouldn’t they stop bothering me? Is it too much to ask to just be allowed some rest? There were hands on me and my bed was shaking. I tried swatting the hands away but I wasn’t strong enough. My clothes were pulled on and suddenly I felt cold. Was I naked? My breathing quickened as I felt helpless and violated. All I had wanted to do was sleep off the pounding headache behind my temples. Oh thanks, someone had put a blanket on me. The commotion was slowly dying down and I dared opening my eyes again, though only a crack. The reassuring hand in mine had disappeared for a while but now I could feel it again. Looking over, I was faced with a tearstained Hyunjin. “H-Hey, you’re awake, hyung”, he smiled shakily. Trying to speak, I head to clear my throat a few times before I was able to get a sound out: “J-Jinnie? Wha’ happened? People were touching me, my head hurts.” – “It’s ok, hyung. They were only helping”, Hyunjin promised before breaking into tears again, “We were dancing together when you kept staring at me. I asked you a few times what was wrong but – but-…” – “Jinnie?”, rasped, squeezing his hand like he had done to me before. My dongsaeng just continued to choke on sobs, clearly terrified of something. But what?

I wanted to reassure him but how could I when I didn’t even know what happened? I was still so unbelievably tired but I couldn’t go to sleep, knowing my dongsaeng was crying next to me. The door opened and in piled my friends. Chan sat down on the bed next to my, taking my hand into his, while Changbin pulled Hyunjin out of the chair and into his arms. “Hyung?”, I looked at him with pleading eyes. The oldest sighed, studying my face: “You don’t remember what happened, do you Min?” I shook my head a bit, waiting for an explanation. “Hyunjin called us because you suddenly collapsed and had a seizure. He called an ambulance, which took both of you here, we followed”, the leader explained calmly but in his eyes I could see he was anything but calm. I had heard anything clearly but for some reason I couldn’t comprehend his words. They made no sense to me. Why would I have a seizure? I never had one before. My hyung must have sensed my confusion because he added: “The doctor said it might have been caused by sleep deprivation but they couldn’t confirm it yet because no one knew how much or rather little sleep you had gotten recently. To me it sounds likely because there were too many nights you didn’t come back at all.” Refusing to meet Chan’s eyes, I stared at the blanket in my lap, which seemed to confirm his suspicions. “I don’t think I have to tell you that you should have taken better care of yourself. You’re one of the oldest here and I know I haven’t been the greatest role-model but not even I have ever taken it to that extreme”, He frowned disappointed. Fighting tears back, I tried to explain myself: “It’s just, all those comments online, reminding me of my lack of talent. I just wanted to improve myself for Stay.” Great, with that confession I have earned myself another round of ‘Why we are not supposed to read comments on social media’, but I knew they meant well giving me a talk.

Another hour, many compliments for my skills and hugs from everyone later, most members went home, promising that one or two of them would come back later to bring me a bag with some clothes and my toothbrush. Much to my dismay, I learned that I’d have to stay at least one night for observation. Chan and Jisung stayed after everyone else left. I was grateful for their presence because I still needed to come to terms with what had happened. I had talked to a doctor, who had explained my situation again. It gave me hope because he said it might never happen again if I make sure to take good care of my body. His words were very inspirational to me: ‘Rest is a right, not a reward.’ I will probably make a poster of this and hang it in the 3racha studio, so others could also benefit from this man’s wise words.

No one’s POV.:

Chan and Jisung stayed to keep Minho company. The dancer kept a cool exterior to reassure his friends but the two knew he was really shaken-up inside. The trio continued talking, about everything and anything, trying to distract themselves and the mood in the room was considerably light. Until a nurse came in, that is. She wanted to give the dancer an IV, which would also be useful for administering medication for the pain. The atmosphere turned sour and Minho squirmed uncomfortably. He hated needles. Jisung quickly took his hand, trying to calm the older down. The nurse gave them a sympathetic smile as she had seen the same scene multiple times. Her promises, it would only be a tiny pinch and it would be over before Minho knew it, fell on deaf ears. When she took another step closer, needle in hand, the dancer couldn’t take it anymore. He screamed, trying to pull away from Jisung, who was holding onto his wrist. Then, as if a switch was flicked, he crawled back to the rapper, clutching his shirt. “Jiji, nuh let Min huwt!”, he sobbed, his breaths coming in short strained puffs. The nurse quickly put the needle down out of sight, taking a few steps back to give them space. Chan and Jisung had both paled immediately after noticing how Minho had slipped. They were terrified of it happening with a stranger in the room, afraid the little would be treated with disgust. Jisung was quick to sit on the edge of the bed, an arm wrapped around the dancer as he whispered soothing nothings and tried to help the other to slow his breathing down. At the same time, Chan studied the nurse, hoping for any clue on how she thought about little space.

A few minutes later, Jisung had finally managed to talk the little down and the nurse considered it safe to approach them again, without a needle this time. “Hey sweetie, can you tell me how old you feel right now?”, she cooed, crouching in front of the pair. All she got was a whimper from Minho, who pressed himself closer to Jisung, and the stunned looks of Chan and Jisung. She smiled at their confusion: “Regressing in age is a not too uncommon coping mechanism. People only thing it’s uncommon because everyone’s ashamed of talking about it. What’s bad about creating a safe space for oneself? It’s harmless, unlike taking drugs or self-harming as an outlet.” She wasn’t wrong there and her acceptance helped Minho build the courage to meet her eyes. When they were going to give the IV another try, Chan silently disappeared out of the room to call the members at the dorm, asking them to also pack Minho’s beloved cat plushie and a pacifier.

“Min, I’d need to give you some medicine but to be able to do that, I’ll have to put a small tube into the back of your hand”, she tried carefully. The little’s eyes went wide and he shook his head furiously. Jisung rubbed his back, hoping to be able to convince him: “Kitten, I know you’re scared. Hyung knows. But don’t you feel icky?” Minho sniffled and touched his head, whimpering a pitiful: “Ouchie.” – “I know, bubba. She’s going to help with that, if you let her. You trust Jiji-hyungie, right? I wouldn’t let anyone do anything that’s bad for you”, the rapper promised, “You’re my brave boy, aren’t you?” Minho whined loudly, he knew Jisung was right but he hated it. “Usually when we have to give a child an injection or IV, we let them sit on their parents lap”, the nurse mused. Jisung didn’t have to be told twice to kick of his shoes and sit down on the bed properly. He pulled the little onto his lap, who quickly buried his face against the rapper’s neck. Taking a few deep breaths and inhaling the caregiver’s soothing scent, Minho held out his right hand, stretching it far away from his body. “You’re so brave, kitten. Hyung’s really proud of you”, Jisung praised. The nurse wasted no time, afraid the little’s burst of confidence would be over before she’d have the needle in. It was really only a small prick and Minho didn’t even have the time to cry out before it was over. Quickly wrapping a few layers of bandage around the dancer’s hand to make sure he wouldn’t accidentally pull the needle out, she stepped back and smiled. She walked over to a cabinet and pulled out a small piece of paper, chuckling: “A brave boy like you totally deserves some stickers.” – “Stickers!!!”, the little squealed, accepting the sheet and studying it. Jisung grinned, glad the fuss was over, and reminded: “What do we say, Min?” – “Tank chuuu!”, the dancer giggled. With a satisfied smile, the nurse connected the bag of fluids and painkillers before leaving the room.

Chan returned and listened to Minho boast about his knew stickers, while they waited for their friends to arrive with the dancer’s necessities. “Hyung, I’m going to stay here with him tonight”, Jisung announced, still sitting on the bed with the little on his lap. The leader nodded, he had already expected this given the rapper was Minho’s main caregiver and the two were extremely close. They kept playing around for a while, the dancer giggling happily, IV already forgotten, till there was a knock on the door. In came Changbin and Seungmin their worried faces brightening at the sight of the happy little on Jisung’s lap. Their worry had doubled when Chan told them Minho had slipped but it now melted away completely. “Hey there, little one”, Seungmin laughed, walking over and ruffling the dancer’s hair, “You gave your Jinnie-hyung quite a scare”, noticing the little’s frown, he was quick to add, “Don’t worry Jinnie’s fine.” – “Look we brought Soori”, Changbin distracted, pulling the plushie from the bag and handing it over. Cuddling the stuffed cat close to his chest, Minho looked up with sparkling eyes and mumbled: “Tank chu, Binnie-hyung.”

Changbin and Seungmin took Chan back home with them after saying good bye to Minho and Jisung. The rapper gently helped the little to change out of the hospital into his own clothes, making sure to pull the bottle and tubing through the sleeve first and guiding Minho’s hand, so he wouldn’t mess with the IV. The energy and excitement, that had fueled the dancer while the other members were present, soon ebbed away and the exhaustion that had brought him into the current situation caught up to him. “Is there someone sleepy?”, Jisung cooed, running a hand through the little’s hair. Minho gave a small nod, yawning widely while he rubbed a fist against his eye: “Wan’ cuddle Jiji.” – “Okay baby, scoot over a bit”, the rapper requested, climbing under the blanket too, “Here, hold on to Soori, she wants cuddles too.” Clutching the plushie, the little snuggled up against his caregiver, who pulled a paci from the bag and slipped it between the little’s lips. “Go to sleep, kitten. Hyungie will sing for you, ok?”, Jisung hummed, he was hoping Minho would be able to catch up on the sleep he was lacking, “Good night, little one.”

#sick #sickfic #little #little space #agere #age regression #headspace #fanfic #fanfiction #skz #stray kkids #fluff #comfort #whump #lee know #lee minho #han jisung #minsung #hospital

32 notes · View notes

neo-shitty · 3 years

Note

toffee!

hehe glad i could make you laugh, oooh that sounds awesome! yeah id love to be tagged it sounds great :)

YES the differences are so fucking weird. like, they do know they're the same age right? i feel like its just an exagguration of how much the persons role in the group matters, like we see chan being held up as such a mature, old leader while jungkook who is literally the same age, is still babied etc. like enha hyung line is basically the same age (if a bit younger) as chenle and jisung but somehow the rules are different?? as you point out, still legal but still bizarre. hehe yeah, i mean where else are we going to rant? quora lol. mmm, hopefully more people can just write less smut abt people who are barely adults

ah, no prob it didnt take long. yeah i think thats right (i keep forgetting you know my url lol) mmhmm :( i think if that happened irl there would be some major trauma going on. knock wood it never happens to you or me lol (/hj)

hehe same! oooh glad Redemption For Cheese was realised! yess we cant rllycomplain that theyve written/produced too much good music lol. yeah, ive dragged him into being a stay so *dusts hands off* mission accomplished. mmm yeah, they tend to have a certain vibe but tbh it couldve worked if they were any other group but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ahh ur one step ahead of me on the stages of listening to ssick i think, still not convinced but thats okay! hehe, it had to be said. yesss the itch in the back of my brain is very satisfied by sorry i love you, felixs vocals deserve to be appreciated! (side note i feel like hes trying to sing more like his speaking voice, sorta husky, but tbh i wouldnt be mad if he sang like in glow, his sweet honey vocals made my life lol. but i think ive heard him say he doesnt like singing like that cos it makes his normal voice less husky, so what can you do)

> YES SOMEONE SAID IT. seungmin rap KING, he sped thru that rap like it was nothing, he deserves more rap lines. i do like how they gave minho some melodic rap lines this comeback, my guy deserved to show off those skills that made him not be eliminated (flashbacks to stay collectively wanting to murder jyp) and we already know changbin can sing, my man murdered masked singer. hyunjin can obviously sing as can jisung and felix, and i want to hear chan rap more! i feel like he started as part of 3racha (as a rap unit not producing) and then just became a vocalist (which im fine with, but it could be nice to hear him flex his rapping skills) and was partially replaced by hyunjin. anywayyy

back to album talk. lmaooo sad music to twerk to PERFECTLY describes silent cry. yes secret secret is and will always be, a masterpiece. hehe glad i could make you laugh :) i just felt like they have similar vibes. putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised. oh my beloved track, red lights. ahh thats okay, we can have different opinions, but by god the lyrics are *chefs kiss*. *banging on table* TWISTED AU TWISTED AU TWISTED AU. yess id love to see ur take on it! sdfghjkl it would have been glorious

no no! not stupid, just able to predict my brainwaves. ooooh thats so cool! makes me want to go there (wherever there is lol) yeah the waves are pretty good here, but none of my familys a surfer, so we dont rlly enjoy the full potential lol. YES moving on to gone away, it is indeed a heartwrenching track, but the vocals and the bloody key change? makes me want to brave being sad just to listen to it. mmm yeah, good point :( i feel like ive just gotten used to overthinking so much so that it doesnt matter what mood im in, ill do it anyway, so might as well just do what i feel like doing anyway.

yeah i think ur right! it is quite comforting knowing that all the tracks will get the love they deserve. i feel like also people assume kpop is just one genre which is utter bs. there are so many different vibes and feels and songs, i couldnt get into kpop (of which i thought only the bright cheerful present day bts stuff existed smh) until i heard gods menu so... idk where i was going with this but yeah. :)

YES FUCK YG, theyre literally on the brink of being kicked out of the big three and they are holding their salvation hostage without letting them do ANYTHING. idek what thought process goes thru their minds but arghhh its so infuriating. yess lisa's cb will be awesome but ot4 is the gold standard here.

hehe, glad u could get to this point. no no! u dont sound like a cult member at all lol yeah, i loooove some of their songs but the whole 23 members thing is getting to me. thats prob a common problem with nctzens but what can i say? im a simple girl with a limit to how many korean boys i can give my money to. atm im just trying to get into ateez and finish memorising enhypen's faces. also kard is kinda sucking me into their fandom atm, as well as eric name lol. ah what can you do? ooh thats good!

hehe i love it too! its exactly like online penpals, that was rlly well put. aww ty! hmm im okay, recovering from a bad case of rsv so thats fun. im doing okay mentally, starting therapy soon (after having to convince my mother that its not just smth i can brush off). physically i wont go into, basically i should be doing stretches to help but they dont completely fix it so my lazy ass doesnt do them, plus i got told recently im going to be stuck with this condition for the rest of my life so thats fun! ah, before you type smth dw abt me ill be fine. the weather atm is cloudy but warm, its been raining on and off today which is good for the garden. uhh i just finished reading sunburnt veils and im in the middle of prom theory which is rlly good. ummm ive got a concert tonight? that i may or may not be able to sing in (bc of the whole rsv thingo) and uhhhh idk. my dog is cute? im drinking tea rn? ive got a school dance coming up?

wbu? hows ur day going, how are you? whats the weather like on ur end? done anything interesting lately? found smth that makes you rlly happy? just any random thing youve been dying to tell someone?

no no! dont apologise, i love these exchanges. i think im happy to continue them for a long time :) on the other hand, if you get tired of them, feel free to just not answer at any time. goodness gracious this was a long ask haha hope it isnt too annoying

<3 w.a. 🐺

sorry it took me a bit to reply, i was fixing my theme ;n;

yeah, i figured it was because of the roles too. my friends and i still get taken aback when 3rd gen idols are the same age as 4th gen ones. in my head it doesn't add up sometimes. PLS THE RANT AT QUORA SKJDK tbh tho it's just going to be normalized as the years pass? esp that the boys are growing older and the amount of explicit fics will just increase. i might have to start blocking tags.

i had to look up the previous ask to remember what we were talking about xd i hope the events in champagne problems never happens to anyone. realistically, it probably happens a lot. damn i really won't wish that pain on anyone. dragging your brother into being a stay i whEEZED JFKSA additional noeasy music enthusiast o.o and ALL I CAN SAY WITH YOU GUSHING ABT FELIX IS AHA WHIPPEEEED OML can't blame you tho, i also want to hear felix sing more in other shades (if that makes sense HAHA) i really hope they'll do the role exchange in the next comeback :( or like in the near future bc i know they can do it :( the day i hear seungmin rapping it i will respectfully pass away. minho was given more lines this comeback thank fUCK i could rmb my irl being vocal abt her frustration. i don't get why minho barely has center time/lines in title tracks??? like the line distribution in the past eras just made me ???? if seventeen can balance lines with 13 members why cant a group of 8 do the same? moving on. i haven't watched the stray kids show simply bc i don't want to cry HAJS but i've seen clips. imagine if skz debuted without minho and felix?!?!? i rmb another irl catching bias feels towards changbin bc of the masked singer only to find out that the man's a rapper. i love how skz's vocals were highlighted this comeback :c there were a lot of mellow tracks! i find it cute when chan sings/raps bc it gets kinda obvious that he's a foreigner? the accent (im not even sure if it's the accent) it just shows. "putting off skz stuff bc of not having time to cry IS the kpop stan life summarised." CORRECT.

abt the twisted au o.O i'll inquire my irl if she wants to write it or not. if she doesn't want to, i'll do it. i miss writing twisted aus <3___<3 and i also miss going to the beach with my friends :' ) but it's starting to get cold here and i don't think i'll be able to enjoy the beach as much as i would if i went beaching in the summer. so maybe next summer? gone away really has an sm-ballad vibe. the thing about skz being a self-producing group, their songs don't sound like typical jype songs? and i just appreciate that bc in all honesty im not a fan of jyp groups at all. PLS the overthinking. i wish i could mute overthinking.

anyone who assumes kpop is just one genre obv hasn't listened to a single track. if kpop was just one genre why do i like some tracks more than the others??? oh you've only recently become a kpop stan? tbh im not a fan of the bright songs of bts either. i liked their older ones *chefs kiss* really matched high school vibes. yg has good artists and they're just wasting the talent ~.~ that strategy they have will get tiring eventually. people will stop waiting on blackpink and move on to newer more active groups ://

HAHAHAH yeah the 23 members is pretty overwhelming! it was the reason i didn't bother stanning before quarantine started. i don't regret stanning tho, met my ult bias in that group <3___<3 i don't really purchase albums unless i like the tracks xd ohhh getting into ateez just in time for the comeback! let me know what you think about them! i was fond of them at some point but grew out of it. good luck with memorizing enhypen! it took me a while to distinguish to people there XD i haven't checked out kard yet but chan plays their songs during lives and they're sexc hype music me likey *u*

i had to look up rsv im sorry. i'm glad you're recovering! please rest more and don't stress yourself out. bro i wish i could go to therapy too bc i have weird issues i can't justify and i need a professional to tell me what's the reason behind it. stuck with what condition btw? what happened? i'm sorry in case i just forgot. yesterday was a bit rainy for me too :(( it's not the type of rainy that makes me anxious so B) oh concert! good luck and i hope you'll be able to sing but i also don't think it's best for you rn :c what's your dog's breed? and yes i just finished drinking tea too. AAAAA i miss school dances :(( the last one i was supposed to have was cancelled bc of covid.

i was less productive today and i'm teetering between being mentally stable and becoming a hermit again. i'm anxious with a lot of things atm so like : D not the best state. today it was a bit sunny but not hot hot which was nice. i changed my theme today bc i couldn't wait for sept. 1st. and no i haven't found anything that makes me happy HAHAHA shit like that's hard to identify. don't have anything to say too, i'm just thinking about why i'm procrastinating too much atm T_T and i'm listening to this rap song atm and one of the rappers sounded like han.

it isn't annoying! i enjoy the long exchanges but i do admit it takes me awhile to type down a reply. so if i get more busy, it'll prolly take a bit longer for me to reply.

#toff.asks #wild anon 🐺

2 notes · View notes

rainingspellforlove · 3 years

Text

falling again.

Tell me once again, tell me you love me like, you did that day.

I couldn't believe it, everything about you was like looking in the mirror, we were so much alike.

But your lips that had spoken of love, don't say a word like they're locked shut, I can't understand with my heart, why you said you loved me.

But now you're trying to run away

Baekhyun - Love Again

The continuation of shouldnt have.

It's been three months since then. Hyukjae been living well in Tokyo. He did his best to overcome his broken state. He did many things there and it really helped him a lot. He did yoga class, worked out his body, studied new languanges, even composing some new songs. for these three months, he already recovered well and he can back to his normal bubbly self again.

Hyukjae decides to come back to korea after feeling well. In a sunny sunday morning, hyukjae finnaly arrived at south korea. He walked alone with lot of luggagges with his mask on. Then he saw one familiar face to pick him up,

"Lee hyukjaeee"

"Hyunggggg"

Leeteuk comes to pick him up because he promises to grab a meal together later in a seafood restaurant..

"How are you hyukjae? Feeling better?"

"Eung of coursee hyung. I cant wait for our comeback finally"

"Of course we will have best of the best for this comeback. Lets work hard okay"

"Sure"

Then they enjoy talking to each other about how hyukjae's life in tokyo and how about the members doing while he was gone. They were doing pretty well with their individual schedule as well.

"Uhm so how was him? Is he doing pretty good these days?"

"You dont contact him at all?"

"Nope hahahaha"

"You really want to get rid of him huh?"

"Not to that extend lol he did messaged me sometimes, for the first week i went to japan, he texted me a lot like "what should i do" "im sorry" "i'll do everything for you to forgive me" "please" he did it so many times until 5 days maybe? Then i replied at the 6th day , i said "im okay. Youre not at fault. Just live your life as usual okay? Im fine here dont worry. "

"I thought you blocked him lol"

"No way i cant block him we're still gonna work together right"

"Wah our pro-idol lee hyukjae. Amazing im proud of you. "

"Nothing's to be proud of. So how's he been?"

"Nothing special because we didnt meet him often bcs of our individual schedule"

"Oh then?"

"But i already met him few times actually asking him for a meal together, he wasnt like himself either i think. His soul is like leaving his body lol"

" He's not that lonely right if i left him like that? He already had a lover anyway"

"I dont know either. maybe you both need to talk it out, dont you feel it to try to talk to him?"

"Yeah ive been thinking about this too hyung. Maybe i will talk it out with him later"

"Good then"

After getting a meal with leeteuk, hyukjae comes back to the dorm with the help of leeteuk to bring his lugagges. And when he opened the door,

"Suprisseeee welcome back uri myeolchii"

Turned out the members already prepared the welcome back surprises with many foods and confettis.

"Oh my goddd guyss hahahahhaa"

"Welcome back uri hyukjaee, lets eat together!!!" Shindong said

"Yesss lets celebrate!" leeteuk finally said

Then they eat happily and tell so many funny stories like they always did.

"How is it at tokyo?" kyuhyun asked

"It's fun of course i did many stuffs there to clear my mind"

"Im glad you're feeling well right now.. we're so worried about you really. You should think less and dont overthink too much okay? You have us to lean on man!" yesung said

"yeah, we can help you anytime bro just tell us about anything" ryeowook said

"Of course i will haha im totally fine right now really!!"

Actually there's donghae too there who's been just smiled blandly at the situation. Fortunately bcs of this crowded condition, no one realized that donghae havent talked a single word to hyukjae yet. Then some times after they had fun and ate well, the members starts to go home one by one. There's leeteuk and donghae left , ofcourse with kyuhyun and hyukjae too.

so hyukjae cleaned the dishes first and the rest of them cleaned the main room. When hyukjae washes the dishes, donghae actually comes to him and helps him cleaning the dishes

There's like silent in them for like few seconds.

"So, how have you been?" Hyukjae starts off the convo

"Nothing much it's just the same. You?"

"Yeah i did many stuffs there"

"Oh... im glad then"

Then silence again..

"Uhm, i- apologize for-"

"Nah it's not a thing for you to apologize anyway. Im totally fine"

"but im not..."

Silence again....

"Why? It's not that youre lonely without me right?" Hyukjae jokes

"hm maybe?" They laugh softly

Then hyukjae tried to ask something.

"How's thing with her?"

Donghae feels a bit flustered..

"yeah we're fine" said donghae plainly

"Good then" hyukjae smiled

"I miss you" finally donghae said it

"I miss you too.. lets work hard more for our comeback soon. Lets just get back like we used to be okay?" but hyukjae not acting like he’s flustered. he acts cool

"Uhm sure.. "

Then hyukjae was about to go to the main room then donghae said

"im sorry.. lemme just say.. ehm- dont cry again hyukjae."

"sure i wont" hyukjae left and smiled after that..

flashback

The day after hyukjae went to japan, donghae was like a soulless man. He ignored all of the calls and messages in his phone. He just wants to talk to hyukjae. He wants to meet him rightaway but he cant. He cant disobey leeteuk because he always obedient to all leeteuk's words. He resisted himself and stayed at his house for almost a week. He ignored all of the messages and phone calls. He just wanted to see hyukjae's reply. But he didnt reply at all. He didnt answer his calls either.. donghae was really like a zombie.. then hyukjae suddenly replied to his messages in the 6th day. Donghae was startled like hell. Then he replied.

"it hurts to see you cry dont cry again.... im so sorry. I dont know what should i do... dont hate me...please.... im so sorry"

But then of course hyukjae didnt reply him again.

Actually donghae became so confused after hyukjae left. He thinks about him a lot. He thinks how hyukjae acts around him this whole time. He just realized this whole time, hyukjae must be suffered to hide this feeling alone. When he's the one being so touchy and stuffs....

He didnt know either why he feels so hurting while he's the one who hurts his friend. He hates being left especially when his important person who did it to him. He feels so confused after hyukjae left. He didnt know what happened to his mind recently. He cant think of anything. His mind was full of hyukjae. especially the kiss he gave that night.

It feels like he poured all of his feelings to it.. but it was the most heartbreaking kiss that he ever felt. the tears that fallen in his cheeks. and his warm lips that melts into his.

he hates to acknowledge this but he wants to feel it again... but not after feeling like this. he missed hyukjae so much... it feels so wrong but he missed him so much......

but life must go on, donghae tried to forget this confusing feelings and try to meet his girlfriend.

He actually met her few times. But donghae always didnt look fine at all. He always been on his mind and cant focus on her at all. And it's always been like this..

Donghae didnt seem to reply at her mesaages as often as before. And he rarely pick up her calls. Donghae was like a whole different person.. sometimes he would be ignorant or careless... even he was not actually like this..

he had a fight with his girlfriend recently.. because donghae keeps losing his focus when they met. And he keeps ignoring her messages and calls. He said that he was busy with works and stuffs. Still his girlfriend had it enough and asked him for break up. Donghae asked her not to end it so quickly. he said they can figure it out together. But his girlfriend insisted that they must break up. She was so tired of him. So they break up in their 5 months..

Donghae was shattered... he was miserable..

he thought "maybe life was fair enough"

end of flashback

Donghae intentionally didnt tell hyukjae that he's already breaking up with his girlfriend. He thinks maybe it's for the best to stay like that. It's already been 1 month since he had broken up. And it's the time for hyukjae to come home to korea too. Actually donghae already recovers from his broken state too after 1 month. But now he saw hyukjae is a whole different. He's like happier, shining, and lovelier. It's like he's really getting himself better. He's getting way cuter... donghae seems a lil bit flustered to see hyukjae arrived... he was stunned for a lil bit.

“is it just me or he gets cuter after coming back......” he thoughts.

Fortunately after their little talks, they can be like they used to be again..

The comeback is near.. so they keep practicing and practicing. They have been busy all the time after hyukjae arrived. They have been busy with many things to prepare the comeback.

Hyukjae is working hard too. He's even more refreshed for now. Donghae and hyukjae come back as they are used to be. Playful to each other. They are just being professional to not mix their private life and works. So they act like the things that happened 3 months ago are also dissapearead.. they just act like nothing happened.

They finally released their comeback songs successfully. It was a hit and success. They did many shows, interviews, and some variety shows to promote their comeback. They are so busy because of these schedules. But they are happy because finally they did a comeback again after a long time.

So after the day they brought a first win from mcountdown, they celebrate it in a restaurant and have a big feast there. Then they had drunk too after having those meals. It’s time for going home and there were no schedule tomorrow so leeteuk said just rest well for tomorrow. The members are going home one by one.

"Hyung, tomorrow i will have schedule for new journey to the west, so i cant come home with you. Is it okay for you to come home alone?"

"Nah it's okay. Bye bye kyuhyuna"

But actually hyukjae is in drunk state so he will go with his manager to come home.

then donghae comes

"I can take him home, i bring a car here so you dont need to worry managernim"

"Oh? You bring a car? Okay then i'll just come with you."

Then hyukjae and donghae go home together with donghae's car. It's the first time for them having a drive like this for just both of them.

"Hyukjae-ya, are you sober enough?"

"Hmmm 60% sober i tthink why?"

"Actually i want to tell you something"

"What is it?"

"I... i broke up with her"

"Her? Your lover? Why?" suddnely he’s 90% sober up

"Some things happened and we fights then she asked for breaking up. uhm yea thats it"

"Oh.. since when?"

"It's been like almost 2 months before our comeback"

"Ah... so you already broke up that time i ask you?"

"Hm yes.... sorry for not telling you the truth, im just scared that it will make you uncomfortable yknow"

"It's okay i understand... uhm.... so, you okay?"

"Yeah i had been not okay that time but right now i feel better a lot"

"Good for you then, hope you can find another person who's better for you then. life must go on right"

Then silence... donghae doesnt give him any replies.

They stopped at the red lights apparently..

"Do you already have a person you like this moment?" Suddenly donghae asked

"no there isnt. I didnt think of it at all because we've been so busy"

"Youre right"

Then the green light appears..

Donghae drives again... 15 minutes in silence and finally arriving at hyukjae's dorm..

"Okay.. would you want me to take you to your room or-?"

It turned out hyukjae already sleeps. He didnt dare to wake him so he puts hyukjae in his back and piggy backs him to his room.... and he still sleeps soundly at donghae’s back..

Donghae puts hyukjae to his bed and tucks him in the bed softly.. then unconsciously, donghae leans in to hyukjae's face..

Donghae pressed a soft kiss to his forehead...

"What if you're the better person for me hyukjae? What you’re gonna do if i fall for you?" He said while carressing his hair softly..

After that, donghae turned off the lamp and went home rightaway....

actually hyukjae didnt fall a sleep at all...

he listened to all of them.

"The hell is that just happened...... oh my freaking God what the hell just happened....." he wakes up rightaway.

Hyukjae still can feel donghae's kiss in his face. he cant sleep at all that day. Even after hyukjae's arrival, they had been in a good terms. It is like nothing happened back then. They acted like they used to. Everything seems so natural. There were no feelings for each other.. hyukjae completely erased his feelings for donghae but why did he act like that last night....

"God he's confusing me again.... "

After that confusing situation for hyukjae, he will never know that was the start of all donghae's affections to him.

and it's likely more affectionate than he ever imagined.

They did many shows and got many interviews. In those shows, donghae always finds chance to get close to hyukjae even doing some skinships to him. But it's like he did it unconciously and natural. It's like the usual donghae but it's more clingy than usual.

He's always backhugging him when they played something, or when in a music show ending, and many more. But hyukjae just lets him bcs he didnt want to be so obvious of avoiding donghae in the tv or shows.

Hyukjae hates to admit this but he liked it. It's like he misses these moments so much but in fact he's already moving on.... or...... are those feelings coming back again...

His warm and soft touches against his body are endearing. He just loves those affections. He missed how to be loved by someone...

But he didnt want to admit it.... never. it’s too contradictive. his mind says he’s already moved on but his heart told him otherwise.

He still cant get over what donghae said few days ago....

Day by day passed by, and the promotions are coming to an end... they did their last music shows on inkigayo. hyukjae went to the rooftop to rest for a lil bit because the members are just too noisy right now.. he didnt feel like to talk too much today.

"what are you doing here alone hyukjae-ya?"

"Oh donghae, uhm nothing just sight seeing" he’s startled by his voice

Donghae comes to hyukjae

"Do you have something burdening you?

"No actually i just feel grateful finally we can success this comeback.."

"im proud too for myself and the members too. we’re doing great"

“right”

they smiled together and felt the wind that breezed for them. and hyukjae got some dust into his eyes

"Aaah my eyes" he tried to rub his eyes but donghae held his hands

"Hyukjae-ya are you okay? Which eyes?"

"Leftt aaaah its stuck"

“dont rub it, i’ll blow it for you”

Then donghae just blows a little to hyukjae's left eyes while cupping hyukjae's cheek. hyukjae’s heart is pounding like crazy while he did that

"I-Is it gone?"

"Maybe.." hyukjae tried to open his eyes and he's surprised, donghae was just 5 cm in front of him

Then donghae looks into hyukjae's eyes and carresses his cheeks softly... hyukjae cant back off and staring into donghae’s eyes also

"I think you're more beautiful in this comeback" while holding his cheek.

"How so? I just feel so usual"

"It's your eyes. Your eye make up is stunning"

"U-uhm thanks"

“this comeback fits you so well”

They still stood like that for a while until donghae leaned in to hyukjae.. and hyukjae automatically closes his eyes... donghae just pressed a soft kiss into hyukjae's left eye...

Then he pulls out and smiles..

"You must be tired today. Lets just go home.." donghae said and grabbed hyukjae's hand to enter the building...

Hyukjae is dazed and cant say a single word... he just follows him to the building in silence...

One day hyukjae drinks alone again in the usual bar. He just wants to drink because he wont have no schedule tomorrow.. and he talks alone in the bar.

"Im getting confused again. Why did he do that then?"

"If im just a rebound of his broken heart, i swear i would kill him rightaway.. gosh but he's already broken up from long time ago... eish but i doubt he likes me though he's fucking straight"

"he's weird. Or am i? Huh idk"

Hyukjae been blabbering for himself there for a few minutes..

Then such a coincidence happened, there just came donghae and jinu who were hanging out with the others because it's their friends who own this bar.. and donghae just watched hyukjae drunk alone and ran to him quickly. his face shows he’s worried as hell.

"lee hyukjae.. hey what are you doing here? I thought you slept because you didnt reply me at all. you cant come drinking alone like this. you know you cant support youself enough while drunk. why are you like this?"

"Oh hey cheonsanim is it my death yet? Why there's cheonsa here.. thats so weird" he blabbers and doesnt listen to donghae’s nagging at all

"Hey get yourself together hyukjae-ya"

"Oh im totally fine! what time is it? I should go practicing. let me go. comeon lets practice!!!"

"There's no practicing schedule for today and it’s almost midnight... lets just go to your dorm"

"No but cheonsanim, there's still liquor left i must finish-"

"Shut up and just lets go home. understand?" donghae’s face becomes all serious suddenly. and hyukjae shuts his mouth and let donghae do what he wants. he’s kinda scared too actually even he’s drunk.

Donghae just pulled hyukjae from the seat and put his arms into his shoulder and starts walking to the car.. donghae brings him home again... like that day

after the silence for a while, donghae finally softened and his serious face gone

"This reminds me of how you were so drunk back then and you keep sobbing because of me.."

"Back then i really didnt know. Yes im a fool didnt realize your feeling and im a fool too bcs i fell in love too easily with some women. Maybe im just too lonely. But i realized that i actually not lonely this whole time. I have you. Thats a shame of me who didnt realize it. Im just so sorry.."

He said while holding hyukjae's hand. Meanwhile hyukjae is sleeping since donghae starts driving.. he’s always like that after being drunk. he sleeps rightaway.

"You're becoming more refreshed and stunning. Im so flustered to see you like “ah it turned out im really friend with this beautiful human?" Thats exactly my thoughts for you when u came back"

"then i doubt it myself why would i have that kind of thoughts. I feel like i wanna have you for myself. Your cute face, funny jokes, and even your weird actions. It's like i wanna keep it all for myself. I even got jealous when you acted cute in front of the fans lmao i shouldnt do that but idk myself is just being weird."

"i love those smiles of yours. Your gummy smile. Thats just so pretty. It warms me up. I even think why didnt i realize i live with the prettiest angel for this 20 years."

donghae still driving while looking at the road.. and he keeps pouring his words...

"Youre really my important person hyukjae. I wont ever erase you from my list. Youre my person... your presence to me is a healing and strength. Without you im nothing. You complete me. You're really my everything. Please just erase those bad memories of us. Just let me fill it again with good memories of us... let me try again.. im hoping i can be your source of sunshine too.. like you give me those warmest smiles every time we met... thats the most amazing feeling ever..."

Then silence...

"I knew you're not sleeping right... im not asking you for anything but i just wanna tell you that... and we're almost arrived"

Hyukjae cant hide again from his so called sleeping,, then he’s awkwardly wakes up and straighten his back...

"uhm.. uhmm.. thats quiet long speech of yours.... uhmm okay..."

Honestly hyukjae is speechless as hell, he never knew donghae will talk it out and he's basically confessing??? But thats so ambiguous...

"Can i hug you?" Donghae asked before hyukjae opened the car's door

"uhm s-sure"

Then donghae hugs him... donghae's hugs always feels so warm... his big body is covering hyukjae's small body... it’s always been these hugs that he loved the most.

donghae who circling his arm into hyukjae’s neck and hyukjae who hugs donghae’s waist tightly.. its always been like this. their typical hugs from time to time.

"dont go out alone to drink.. bring me, so i will take you home"

hyukjae just nods in his warm embrace..

Donghae takes off his arms from hyukjae and presses a soft kiss to hyukjae's forehead...

"Good night.. rest well for today"

hyukjae is gotta explode.

He's confused too and doesnt know what to do either. But his mind is a total mess right now so he acts like he's totally not in his right mind too.

his act and his mind are always fighting. it’s not completely going in a one way. it’s totally contradictive!!

hyukjae in his not right mind suddenly leaned in and kissed donghae's cheek quickly.

He's so red and dying inside, then he just

"g-g-good night too bye bye" he's so flustered and running quick to his room

Donghae who feels hundred times flustered than hyukjae, cant even move a flinch after hyukjae's cute lil kiss. He's smiling like an idiot and messed up his hair.

"im really going crazy"

Meanwhile in the other side, hyukjae runs to his room and throws himself to his bed and screams.

"arghhhhhh why did i do that you fool lee hyukjae you fooool"

One day after that lil kiss event, donghae asked hyukjae (as if nothing happened) to a drive. he’s that amazing to act like nothing happened between them.

"hyukjae, are you free this sunday?"

"Uhm maybe, why?" hyukjae pretends nothing happened too. BUT he’s just pretending. so he just replied casually

"i want to have a drive, wanna come? its no fun if i drive alone"

"u-uhm sure. But where to?"

"Hmmm it's up to you"

"Me ? Ah no, it's you who should decide donghae-ya"

"Finee, then beach? Lets watch sunset. How?"

"Call! Good idea!"

"Okay see you on sunday i'll pick you up"

"Of course"

Hyukjae didnt know why he agreed to his plans lmao he’s too excited to watch sunset.

"eish what should i do.. that god damn smile wtf i cant even ignore him"

"Nah its okay we're usually like this. Its a usual thing for us to have a drive tgt. We even watch sunrise together every year.. it shouldnt be a bad thing right........ right..... but for now i should try calming my heart more" he’s trying to convince his heart more

Sunday comes and they really go to the beach....

They have so much fun in the car, they sing and laugh happily in the car.. hyukjae who jokes a lot while donghae who gives his best reactions to it. It's just their another ordinary days.. but its been so long so they're beyond excited for themselves.

It's winter and they wear warm clothes right now.

"Hyukjae, dont you feel cold of just wearing that coat?"

"Ah this. Hmm maybe i can bare it haha"

"You can wear my padding, i'll wear yours"

"Eish no need. Im fine really"

"Uhm okay then"

They have arrived at the beach and they go to the side of the beach while playing with the water. They had so much fun playing and running for each other.. they're just like kindergartens..

"It's unbelievably cold goshhh maybe you’re true though, my small body cant bare it haha" hyukjae been shivering for a while and he almost stutters because of the cold wind.

"I told you so.." then donghae stands behind hyukjae and opens his padding to back hug the shivering kid. his padding completely covered him and hyukjae together. Hyukjae is small human being so it fits for them together.

"Ya- what are you doing let me go" hyukjae tried to let go but of course he’s lost.

"Its cold its better like this right" he tightens his hugs more.

Hyukjae cant say a single word he's just dazed while feeling the cold air from the sea.

They stayed like that for a while until sunset..

"Beautiful..." finally hyukjae mouthed a word

"Uhm.." donghae hugs him tighter from the back

"We're almost the same height but why i feel you're so tiny" donghae said

"im 3 cm taller you know!! but i admits im a real myeolchi because im not that workout holic like you. and im not the type who builds my body like you. the bulkier type. nah i didnt like it"

"Alright alright i agree for that"

they enjoy this so much. and maybe hyukjae loves it too much. it feels like the cold air is completely gone because of donghae’s back hugs. it warms him up...

after some moments of the sweet warm sunset, they think of going back. they can freeze if they stay too long.

"Should we go back?"

"Okay..."

Its time for going back and its time for donghae to let go of his hug.... why hyukjae feels dissappointed all of sudden...

Donghae lets go of the hugs and he pulls hyukjae to face him...

"Hyukjae"

"O-oh why?"

Donghae takes out his hands and carress it softly... then brings it into his lips... donghae just kissed every hyukjae's knuckles one by one..

Donghae turned to face hyukjae and leans in slowly..

Hyukjae stops him by pointing his forehead..

"can i-?”

he didnt finished his words but suddenly hyukjae said

"kiss me"

Donghae got startled but he smiled softly and leaned in to kiss hyukjae

Donghae moves his hands to cupped hyukjae's cheeks while hyukjae's hands slowly circling donghae's neck.. they kissed slowly and softly.. donghae takes a lead and hyukjae tightens his hands... they never expect this day would come.. they pulled out for few seconds, then hyukjae cant get enough and kiss him again.. they kissed so long but slowly...

then they got losing a breath and plus they cant bare the cold air then hyukjae pulled himself from donghae... his ear got so red and he cant even say a word.

"i-its cold lets go home." hyukjae said and ran leaving donghae who smiled softly..

They go home with hyukjae who covered himself with his scarf.

Donghae who laughs softly said

"Hey dont cover yourself like that, i cant see your face" he teased

"I dont want to see your face idiot"

Donghae chuckles and takes hyukjae's hand... he pressed a soft kiss to his hand...

"stopppp argghh focus on driving bastard" he pulls out his hand quick

Donghae drives home with a widest smile ever

Arriving at hyukjae's dorm, he packs his things and ready to get out but..

While on the way driving here, the snow falls so hard even donghae drives his car slowly to go here..

"You know, the s-snow is falling so h-hard right"

Then donghae turned his head to hyukjae waiting him to say something

"So...” hyukjae hesitates..

"Eh hem so?" Donghae waits while smiling to him

"Eish stop smiling like a weirdo you bastard"

"Hmmmm So?" donghae teased

"Y-you can come to dorm until tomorrow morning i-if you want-"

"Of course i will. Lets go" donghae quickly answers and goes inside

Donghae has expected this , no way he would let his best friend fighting the snow falls for himself.

They enter the dorm together.. and it's already almost midnight..

"Kyuhyun is home already maybe he's already sleeping... you can sleep on the sofa or other rooms here okay bye im going to bed" hyukjae was about to go to his room but donghae stops him

"What now?"

Then he gestured his head in hyukjae's room (it's like “i wanna sleep with you” gesture)

"N-no way!"

"Aaah we used to sleep together why cant we"

"Its different! We're grown ups right now!"

"Hnggggggg pplleasseeeee or i will nag at you until morning"

Donghae keeps nagging and nagging so hyukjae just lets him to go to his room

"Fine"

Hyukjae already changed his clothes and brings his clothes for donghae to change also.. then hyukjae goes straight to sleep and doesnt want to wait for donghae who changed his clothes

Donghae who comes back after changing his clothes, climbs up the bed beside hyukjae... hyukjae sleeps facing the other side and donghae feels dissappointed..

"Face me while sleeping or i cant sleep"

"Its not my business"

"We just kissed why do you treat me like this?" He pouts

"Eishhh sssssshhhh. fine fine. i'll face you lets just sleep"

"Hyukjae ya"

"Hmmm" he already closed his eyes

"I wanna hug you"

"why are you so demanding"

“pleaseeeeee”

“arghhh fine”

Then donghae hugs him and places hyukjae's head in his chest

"It's cold i must keep you warm" hyukjae stays in his embraces like that without complaining.. he's too sleepy to complain..

"Hyukjae ya"

No answer...

Then donghae leans in closer

Hyukjae feels donghae's breath becomes so close and slowly opens his eyes..

Hyukjae stops him again by placing his fingers to his lips..

"lee donghae......." hyukjae loses all his drowsiness.... and his eyes looking at donghae's

"I like you..." donghae said with his softest eyes ever

This. those puppy eyes of his. His soft voice.. his gentle touches. His body's heat that runs into hyukjae's body.... it drives him crazy

hyukjae never been so speechless.. he's weak.. he doesnt know how to act...

Hyukjae feels his heart about to explode..

"Y-you know.. b-but i dont know... i cant understand my feelings at all.... i-"

"I know.... i know.. i'll wait for you"

"but why?"

"Because it has to be you. I love being with you. I just love it so much. youve heard me before. in the car, i told you everything. it’s just you."

Hyukjae cant say anything and keeps his head down in donghae’s chest... he cant face donghae.... he might explode... he bets his ears are all red... and he feels so damn hot even it's winter...

"Can i kiss you?"

Silence.....

Then hyukjae nods softly..

Donghae slowly moves his hand towards hyukjae's cheek and the other hand pulling his waist closer...they kissed again.. but its more passionate and have more feelings... they didnt feel cold anymore, they are heated by the kiss...

donghae who's now on top of hyukjae and keep kissing him like there's no tomorrow... it's like hyukjae is his property only..

They kissed until they both are out of breath and pulled out from each other.... donghae hugs him again from the side while carressing hyukjae's hair and kissed it for few times.....

"잘자요 hyukjae ya"

"good night.." hyukjae who feels embarrassed to death and he just hides himeself in donghae's chest...

They both stay like that until morning comes.... they embrace each other warmly and they sleep like babies.

Morning comes and hyukjae slowly opens his eyes...

"emhhh.... oh my.." he still doesnt believe it either what he saw...

The first thing he saw is donghae's face beside of him.. he suddenly remembers the kiss..

"He already looks so good even he's sleeping, like how.."

"eishh whats wrong with me"

hyukjae tries to come down from the bed slowly because donghae's hand still in his waist.. so he slowly removes it.... afraid to wake him up... when he's about to success for coming down, then a pair of hands slip into his waist tightly and a voice appears next to his ear closely..

"where do you go?" said donghae who just woke up with his hoarse voice. He put his head above hyukjae's shoulder and keep whining

hyukjae almost jumped after hearing it *dammit that hot voice*

He always knew this kind of voice every morning they woke up after sleeping together.. because they did it often back in those old days.. but now, it is not the same, it's like hyukjae always got heart attack when donghae comes close like this

"maybe take a shower and buy a breakfast..."

"sleep more :(" said donghae lazily in hyukjae's shoulder

"it's almost 9 am... i must go to gym later.."

Then he pouts cutely..

"Let me take you there then..."

"Fine.."

"Lets take a shower together"

"NO eish i can shower alone lemme go" donghae still hugs him tightly from the back

"Lee donghaeee comeonnnnn"

"letsss take a shower together like the old dayss"

"No fuckin waay lemme gooooo" hyukjae tries so hard to let it go and finally succeeding

Donghae just whines and tries to wake up also.

They both already been showering and they will have breakfast together..

After finishing breakfast and stuffs. Donghae drives him to hyukjae's gym.

"Okay then thankyou for dropping me off" said hyukjae awkwardly

"Of course. Dont overwork yourself, rest well after this. Bye bye"

"Sure bye"

"Oh wait." Donghae said

"What is it? Is there something i left in your car?"

"You left this"

Donghae shamelessly pressed a quick kiss in hyukjae's right cheek.

"YA LEE DONGHAE"

"bye bye!" Then he winks and leaves

"Eish im really really going insane"

Day by day passed and donghae keeps being clingy to hyukjae. But extended version, he always kissed him goodbye while parting ways. It can be forehead kiss or cheek kiss. Hyukjae is lied if he doesnt like it. He liked it so much but he didnt show it and always runs away from donghae after that...

"Ah where is the boy who used to cry here bcs of his bestfriend? Is he really opening up his heart again?" Teased leeteuk

"Hyung please"

"Hahahaha you arent bothered at all right by him? I knew you love it"

"No way"

"You cant lie to me hyukjae. You fall for hin again right?"

"But i hate for admitting "that feeling""

"It's been so long hyukjae, it's okay for falling in love again"

"I dont know hyung... but why it has to be him? i just dont know"

few days after, hyukjae who just woke up suddenly gets a call from leeteuk..

"Lee hyukjae it's urgent, donghae is sick and i cant go there bcs i have works. Can you come instead of me? He's been in high fever. im scared he will faint or something"

"Okay hyung i'll go there asap"

Hyukjae is worried as hell and he brings all the medicines from the dorm for donghae.

As he arrived there, he found donghae sleeps on the floor.. and he's freaking out

"Yahh lee donghae, are you okay? Hey, lemme take you to hospital come one wake up"

Hyukjae got so worried and try to lift donghae's body.

"Ehmmmh oh what time is it? Why am i on the floor? And why are you here hyukjae?"

"Leeteuk said youre sick af so i came.. lemme take you to hospital right now. can you stand by yourself?"

"Ah.... im not sick.. i just got hangover and maybe i fall asleep on the floor last night..... im totally fine but a little dizzy"

"what the-”

then he realized

“Aish leeteuk hyung i'll get revenge on you someday arghhh" then hyukjae stands up and ready to walk out

"Im going home then. Bye im wasting my precious times"

"Aaaah dont go im really dizzy... can you help me please eung?"

"Its ur fault anyway"

"But i always help you after you drunk so many times..."

"Okay t-thats... ugh- fine"

Hyukjae walks to donghae and lifts him up. He helps donghae to get on the bed..

"Okay it's done im going. Eish wasting my time worrying for nothing"

"Are you worried that much?"

"Bye im going home..."

Donghae pulls hyukjae's hand..

"Can you just stay with me?"

"Why should i?"

"I need your company.."

Donghae pulls a lil harder until hyukjae's body falls on his chest..

Donghae hugs him rightaway so hyukjae cant go...

"Hyukjae-ya.. there’s no a single time i would not think of you.. you know what, when you went to japan, i messed up all of things.. i cant get focused on anything... i just wanted to meet you.."

Hyukjae who still in donghae's chest said carefully

"How can i trust you? I cried so hard that day.. im tired of hurting"

"You know it hurts to see you cry. That day my heart breaks into pieces... i think how much i hate myself... i was so dumb. i knew.. but now i realize how can i live without you.. i cant stay away from you... i wanna hug you so tight and give you every little kisses every day.. i dont know when this started, but i want to make you mine every time i see you.. i wanna protect you and embrace you.. i cant take my eyes off of you"

"Hyukjae-ya look at me" donghae lifts hyukjae's head who leans in his broad chest then he saw hyukjae is crying...

"dont cry sweetheart please dont cry.." donghae carressed his tears away softly..

"I-i think i completely forget you. i convinced myself that i already moved on. i believe i had erased you completely.But i just realized i cant... how can i? i really cant forget you at all... i just keep pretending that i was fine if i keep this feelings alone.. i thought i already threw away my feelings. But you suddenly came to me again with those affections.. how... how can i just forget you easily.. i just cant.... life is so unfair i cant understand"

Donghae suddenly sits and lifts hyukjae easily to sit in his lap.. hyukjae who's still sobbing got flustered by his sudden actions.

"Ssssh dont cry... you know that im the crybaby, it's not you. You shouldnt be crying.. youre not supposed to cry... "

Hyukjae still sobs.. and palmed his face..

Donghae leans in and takes hyukjae's hands from his face slowly

He cupped hyukjae's face and leans in.. donghae's forehead touched hyukjae's completely..

"I love you so much.. can you love me back?"

Hyukjae still sobs but he nods softly..

Donghae smiled softly... this sweetest smile that always stuck in hyukjae’s head

"Say that you love me back"

Donghae wiped off the tears that keep falling in hyukjae's cheeks..

"i-i like you so much i could die.." he sobs cutely

"good.. and i love you too"

Donghae leans in and kisses hyukjae's watery eyes delicately.. he pressed those little kisses slowly from hyukjae's forehead, eyes, cheeks, nose, and finally his lips...

The way hyukjae's lips melt in donghae's.. he kissed hyukjae passionately... the finally-you-love-me kiss that he always hopes.. not that heartbreaking kiss again, this kiss feels more delicate and warm. donghae moves his body and presses hyukjae down to the bed..

"Do you mind if..."

"just do whatever you want”

“good”

hyukjae never thought that this day would happen for real.. his shirts and pants are on the floor... his outfits that he wears prettily today is all on the floor mixed with donghae's.. they both are covered with blanket with donghae's hand for hyukjae's pillow.. hyukjae cant say a single word after all of the things that happened so quick in few hours..

"Say something babe"

"You idiot bastard how can i say something after you marked me like this... we just- arghhh i shouldnt say yes for whatever you will do... ive been tricked."

Donghae turned to sulky hyukjae and kiss hyukjae's shoulder..

"you know i cant resist you.. "

then donghae pulls hyukjae and hugs him close to his broad chest and hyukjae slowly hugs him back..

"stay with me until tomorrow?"

"Of course" hyukjae nods and hugs him tighter

"Dont you feel cold?"

"Nope. You hug me is enough.."

Donghae smiled softly and hugs him tighter...

“best day of my life.” donghae kissed hyukjae’s head softly

While hyukjae finally asleeps, donghae quickly messages leeteuk

"Hyung i will appear on your youtube more often!! i promise. Thank you for everything hahaha!"

"Eish this little punk. Happy now? Stop calling me just for crying that you miss him so bad. Ughhh im so tired listening your broken ass. Dont send me even a single pic of both of you or i'll kill you."

"HAHA i was about to lmaooo bye bye hyung♡"

-end

#eunhaefics #eunhaefic #eunhae #eunhyuk #donghae #lee hyukjae #lee donghae #superjunior fanfic #bxb #juheartsfic

11 notes · View notes

writinginthesparetime · 4 years

Text

Tic toc - one shot

pairing: Ot9; idol!Sehun x staff!y/n

Tags: workplace ; y/n being in a relationship ; Sehun has a little crush

genre: fluff; little angst; super fluff

A/n: I recently fell for Exo. Needed to write something about my bias eheh

Btw happy comeback! And happy holidays!

—————————————————————

Silently, I went inside the dance practice room knowing the manager was inside to fill some papers with the staff.

It was already a month I got hired here as a make-up artist: it was my first job after finishing school, i was ready to learn, fresh, but being the youngest in the whole building wasn’t helping. The closest in age to me were the exo members their self. This ended up being awkward at the beginning, then lead to growing weird friendship. Well, kinda a relationship. It’s still me, who at the end of the day has to take off their makeup while they’re already napping on the chair.

I closed the door behind me and in that moment they started practising Tempo’s choreography. I got frightened by the sudden music and I squeaked. I quickly realised some of the guys where smiling at me through the mirror.

“Shit.” My cheeks turned red already.

“Y/n? Do you need something?” The manager approached me while holding some filers.

“Yes sunbae.” I bowed a little. “This is the list of next orders we need for our warehouse.” I gave him, with both of my hands, an envelope that he quickly took.

“Thank you y/n, kind as always.”

“You’re welcome.” I smiled shyly. He then asked me to follow him through the room until we reached all the staff members.

My gaze dropped to the clock on the wall: I had 15 minutes to reach the restaurant and meet my boyfriend. If I managed to leave in a couple of minutes and run to take the metro, I’d arrive just in time.

I cursed myself for being too slow changing into the little tight red dress. I also re did my make-up, maybe an unnecessary step. Now I was wearing high fancy boots that marked every step and a long coat, ready to fly outside the building into the cold night of Seoul.

“Y/n I need a favour.”

“Sure.”

“Could you shoot the guys while dancing? Just a few song, nothing much.”

“Oh ... Sunbae, it’s not like I don’t want to, but I have an appointment after work. Is there anyone more qualified to do this?”

“Y/n don’t worry, they’ll be quick. You can do this, just sit still. Take this.” He gave me a camera definitely too heavy for me to hold. Music suddenly stopped and the boys were reaching water bottles to drink. I could see how tired they were.

“It will take just 5 minutes, we’ll be back soon.” The manager left with all the staff members leaving me and a sound technician behind.

“Y/n-noona! You came to see us dancing!” Kai run to me spilling some water.

“Not really.” We hugged for a little. Kai loved to call me noona whenever he felt sweet. No matter I was the youngest in the room.

“I got stuck at work, I should be outside already.”

“Stuck mmh?” Chanyeol came closer.

“I have a date tonight, do you think you can do this in one take?”

He winked at me and turned to the middle of the room. “Ya! Our y/n-nie got plans for the night! Let’s do this!”

I took off my coat leaving it on the table while sunbae was setting the camera.

I took it and quickly moved in front of the mirror wall, sitting exactly in the middle, shoulders pressed to the mirror. I crossed my legs carefully and adjusted the skirt.

I looked up and realised many eyes were on me.

“Y/n-noona, who is the lucky one?” Kai winked. Baek whistled.

“Y/n have mercy, someone here won’t sleep tonight.” Chen laughed, Sehun gave him a nudge.

“Boys, be good.”

I looked again at my watch, realising I was already so late. I pressed rec on the camera and the boys gathered up in the position. “Tempo” started again, the hardest part for me was not being able to dance or sing with them.

“Was it good?” Someone asked while I grabbed my phone.

“I have to text him.”

19.33 y/n: I’m sorry I’ll be late: I’m still at work. I’ll text you when i get out. I’ll try to be quick.

19.36 y/n: bae?

Songs went on, and so my texts.

19.41 y/n: bae? Im sorry i swear ill be quick

19.50 y/n: are we still in time for the reservation? Im starving! Wait for me bae!

“Is he texting you back?” Sehun laied on the mirror next to me looking at my screen. He wasn’t even sweating after dancing for so long.

“No, not really.” I said back, nervously laughing.

“Don’t worry y/n-ah, he can’t be mad. It’s so hard to be angry at you.”

“Wha-?”

I looked at him shocked. He snapped his fingers getting everyone attention. “We need to shoot the last one, and we are done. Sunbae prepare “The Eve” please.”

“Oh no.” I whispered covering my mouth.

That’s one of a few songs with a choreography that embarrass me every time. The slow hip thrust, lascivious gazes and the way they all became hotter in a couple of seconds.

First notes came, I swallowed my saliva and tried to focus while their eyes were on me. Actually, I knew they were all looking behind me, staring at each other on the mirror, but I felt being watched.

When the refrain came I just closed my eyes, too shy. And once I was able to open them again all of exo members were giggling at me. All the guys. ALL. They knew how shy I was. They knew the power of this song.

Suddenly the song hit me differently and harder, looking at some details: Suho’s arms, Sehun’s thighs, Kai’s grin, the power they all held. Everyone was doing something to me, my head started spinning.

“We need to take this one again sorry.” Sehun talked after the song ended. I moved on my place, suddenly the position wasn’t comfortable anymore. A weird hot feeling in my stomach started spreading.

I was so distracted by these new feelings I didn’t notice Sehun’s smirk. He was satisfied. I didn’t even realised my phone was buzzing inside my purse.

“Let’s be more powerful.” Chen said looking at his friends.

“And a step ahead please.” Everyone looked at Sehun.

The song started again and everyone seemed to be more engaged than before, using all their last energies.

They were one step closer to me now, and Sehun was directly in front of me. Less than two meters again, he was hip thrusting slowly. His eyes on me, and I was sure now he was really looking at me. I swallowed while fixing my skirt again, feeling suddenly too hot. He smirked.

His eyes, so dark now,were locked on me the whole choreography, I could feel his gaze never leaving me.

I felt so vulnerable. The hot feeling in my stomach now was getting stronger, I couldn’t help but squeeze my thighs together to get some relieve.

As soon as the last note ended I got up and left the camera on the table. I took the phone and I was surprised by all the messages.

19.52 bae: I cant believe this

19.58 bae: why are you always late? Ive been waiting you for so long! Im pissed

19.59 bae: ya! Text me ...

20.03 bae: where are you now?

20.05 bae: .....

20.06 bae: .....

20.07 bae: .....

20.08 bae: ... so?

20.10 bae: im leaving

“Shit shit shit shit.” I quickly wore my coat, already calling my boyfriend. I turned waving to the boys, ignoring their worried faces.

“Pick up please.” I opened the door with my shoulder still busy getting ready.

“Maybe you should fol-“ D.O. words were cut by my boyfriend’s voice on the phone.

“Y/n! Ya! You’re unbelievable!”

“Babe I’m so sorry, it’s not my fault, I couldn’t say no..”

“Sure. Always the same. It looks like you got 9 more boyfriends, who are more important than me. Should i get on the line?”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t bother to come. Bye.” He hanged up. I froze, in the middle of the hallway. I didn’t know what to do. Maybe keep on desperately running and maybe he would be still in the restaurant? I tried calling, failing again and again. I was just ... frozen.

“Is everything fine?” Two big warm hands took mines, still holding the phone. I turned to Sehun’s worried face.

“Not really. He’s angry.” I said looking up at his eyes and then to the ceiling, hoping not to cry.

That was my first long relationship, we were together for more than 9 months. The first boy who noticed me, the first who held my hand to go to school. The first “i love you”.

“Then he doesn’t deserve you y/n-nie.” He whispered closing the distance between us with an hug.

He hold me tight, my head laid on his chest, his arms around me. One if his hands reached my hair and started massaging me gently.

“Ssh, everything will be fine y/n-nie. You’re too good.”

I didn’t even realised I was crying. I was sobbing so hard, my hands fisting his black hoodie’s hems.

“I am sorry.” I started bubbling.

“Don’t, we should be sorry, it’s our fault.” Sehun said patting my back lightly.

I stepped back, incredulous. “How could it be your fault?” And suddenly Sehun face got red.

“My fault...” He repeated shyly while I was wiping off the tears on my cheeks.

“Y/n?” Xiumin suddenly appeared behind Sehun’s tall figure. As soon as he saw my red puffy eyes he run to me pouting.

“Oh my girl, what happened?” He hugged me and tried to make me smile with his cute aegyo. He was the oldest yet he looked the youngest, and his pure kind soul was just one more thing to love him for.

“I lost my reservation at the restaurant.” I lied while looking at Sehun, hoping he’ll understand. He tilted his head a little, confused.

“Oh.” Sehun said quietly.

“I’m so hungry!” Baek exited the practise room screaming. All the EXO members behind him.

“Y/n is hungry too, she couldn’t make it to the restaurant.” Sehun surprised me for being strangely able to lie.

“Oh no y/n-nie.” This sounded like a chorus since all of them gathered together around me.

“I’ll make dinner for everybody.” D.O. proposed while taking my hand and gently hugging me. “Let’s go home.”

Sehun walked beside me, his hand on my lower back. “Let us treat you well.”

#exo imagines #exo do kyungsoo #exo suho #exo lay #exo sehun #exo chanyeol #exo kai #exo chen #exo baekhyun #exo minseok #exo #exo reactions #one shot #sehun x reader #sehun x you #fluff #lovely #friendship

172 notes · View notes

astralarias-old · 4 years

Text

they had lights inside their eyes

My fic for @tyrias-library prompt, soulmates!

Neriander tries to find their soulmate, Verna (who belongs to @sylvari-bouquet).

Written in a different format than usual but it was fun, even if I made myself sad with the ending.

I. Awakening.

The soft embrace of the dream lingers on their body as they stagger to their feet. Physicality is foreign, and the world is overwhelming. Their legs shake, and a warden rushes forwards to steady them. They tug their arm free, the panic that awoke them making a vicious comeback.

Their heart pounds in their chest. The feeling is disturbing, as is the rush of air in and out of their lungs. Everything is too much, all at once.

“Where is she?” they demand, their voice frail. “Where is Verna?”

The warden moves into their line of vision and makes a soothing motion with his hands. “Let’s calm down. Steady, sapling. What’s your name?”

They take a step back, defiance glinting in their eyes. The warden’s tone is gentle, but it stirs up an angry storm inside their chest. How can he say to calm, when Verna could be in danger?

“My name is Neriander,” they state. “And I am going to find Verna.”

II. Feelings.

Sometimes when they sleep they see her. They run after her, but foliage crashes in on them like ocean waves, and they drown in green. Thick honey-scent fills their nose, and they wake up choking.

Their travels take them east, to Ascalon. It’s a land of rugged beauty. Although they have no time for history lessons, they can sense a great deal of blood has been shed over this soil. Ghosts linger, spirits bound in anger, and sadness hangs over the land like a thick mist. At times it gets the better of them, and they spare a few moments to sit and weep.

Verna haunts their mind like the ghosts that haunt the land. Yet it’s all wrong. Back in the grove, Neriander could feel her presence, a gentle thrumming in their chest. Here, so far away, the thrumming is almost silent.

Wherever Verna is, Ascalon is not it.

They return west, and day by day the feeling of her presence grows stronger again.

They grow closer.

III. Discovery.

Mordremoth.

The name buzzes in their mind as they read over the pact report yet again. They stand under the shade of a tent in the Silverwastes, and nothing matters except the paper in their hands. The thrumming presence in their chest is stronger than ever. So strong, that some small part of them expects to look up and see Verna by their side. Once or twice, they indulge this impulse, only to find, of course, the empty dusty air.

According to the report, the pact had launched an attack on the jungle dragon, Mordremoth, some time before they had awakened. The dragon had retaliated with deadly ferocity, devasting the fleet. And, worse, many sylvari had turned, called by the dragon itself to serve. To kill.

The thought that Verna might have been aboard one of the airships makes Neriander dizzy with worry. The thought that she might have turned is enough to force them to sit down, to bring tears to their eyes.

If one thing brings them comfort, it is that now their destination is clear.

IV. Jungle.

The air is hot in their lungs, bringing back the memory of every nightmare they’ve ever had. The scent is sweet, tinged with smoke from the airship wreckage scattered about. A million unseen birds and insects sing in the canopy and undergrowth. A greeting, or a warning? They don't desire to know.

The world is green. Thick, inescapable, suffocating green.

The thrumming in their chest is a constant buzz, an itch under their skin. Brambles and thorns scratch at them, and they bleed. They press deeper into the jungle, ignoring the ache in their legs, and the resonant echoes of the now-felled dragon in their mind. Verna is all that matters - and until her safety is assured, they cannot allow themself to stop.

But oh, how they long to rest. To return to Mother. To return to Verna’s sweet smile and bright eyes, her comforting touch that felt so real even in the half-reality of the Dream.

Soon, they would have these things again. Of this, they are sure. Because if they don’t - if they let go of that belief - then they know the last strength will leave their tired limbs.

V. Reunion.

Were they in the desert, they would have believed it to be a mirage. A trick of the light. And still, they aren’t quite sure it isn’t an illusion. But they can’t help the smile that blossoms onto their face. Their eyes shine with wild hope.

Verna.

They rush towards her, standing with her back to Neri in a clearing in the trees. For the first time, they can breathe properly - deep and clear and full of relief. She’s alive! She’s okay!

She’s -

Verna turns. Neriander’s heart all but stops in their chest.

She’s different. Not unfamiliar in the slightest, but touched by Mordremoth’s corruption. She’s taller. Stronger. The light in her eyes, the light that was once the center of Neriander’s universe, is extinguished.

Neri stops in their tracks. The jungle around them falls silent. Waiting. As if on bated breath. The trees watch with cold indifference.

“Verna,” they stammer. “Are you okay?”

Verna avoids their gaze. “Neri, you shouldn’t be here.”

“What? I - I had to find you! I’ve been all over Tyria! Look, we can go home now. It’s okay. You’ll be okay!”

You have to be okay. They don’t speak the words aloud, yet something tells them Verna hears regardless. They take a step forward and find they are trembling.

“Stay back!” Verna cries, going to raise her hands, only to stop herself at the last moment.

“I won’t hurt you,” Neri replies, without missing a beat. They try for a laugh, though it comes out empty. “It’s me! Come here, you’ll see!”

“I know you won’t hurt me. That’s not what I’m worried about.”

“Then what is it?”

A cold shock comes over Neriander as they notice tears filling Verna’s eyes, spilling down her cheeks. They don’t understand - what’s the matter? They found her. They can go home, to Mother. Everything can go to how it should be. So why, why is Verna crying?

“Neri,” Verna says, voice trembling. “I’m sorry. I love you, more than anything.”

With one last glance back at them, she turns and breaks into a run. She moves with surprising speed, and before Neri can hope to give chase she is gone. Swallowed up by the jungle, leaving no sign she was ever even here.

The last vestige of strength melts from Neriander's limbs and they sink down to the floor. Leaves crunch under their knees. They squeeze their eyes shut, their own tears flowing, their body trembling with a sob.

“Verna, please!” they cry out. “Don’t leave me again!”

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #neriander #verna #*writing #*mine #aaaaah #need some fluff with them ;w;

13 notes · View notes

still-love-the-moon · 5 years

Text

Ghost Of You

Prologue

The first time she sees a ghost is after her cousin Luna almost drowned her. She is nine and she is skating and yer younger cousin is dancing near the pool. One minute she is lost in her thoughts, the music playing in all the garden and, the next, she is gasping for air and trying to pull herself on the surface with Luna screaming her name at the top of her lungs- which is a lot for an eight years old, but she is not gonna complain.

The second she is out and wrapped in her aunt Monica's hug- and a towel- she can see things- person- that shouldn't be there and no one believes her. Which, she understands that is the most realistic option, but still she is offended and she will be petty about it for the rest of her life.

Sharon thinks is a brain injury- Ámbar bites her tongue to not tell her that she is a brain injury because she knows that the price for that comeback wouldn't be worthy- and wants to bring her to a doctor, Alfredo dismiss the thing by saying that it's probably just her childish imagination but she should still be checked by someone and Miguel says that she should probably see a therapist since she almost drowned and could be PTSD. Monica- Ámbar will love her forever for that- close the discussion, telling them all to shut up and let her rest for the day because she doesn't need other things to stress about.

The ghost of an old lady behind her snorts- in a total, not lady-like way that Sharon would hate- saying something along the line of 'That's my daughter'. Before she can even see a therapist's studio she shut up about the ghosts, pretends that the incident never happened- hard when Alfredo doesn't let her near the pool for the rest of the summer- and that ghosts don't' exist.

Her family goes back to normal and she learns how to live with her gift- last time she called it a curse a ghost wanted to slap her in the face and the only thing stopping it was the fact that they pass through humans- without letting others noticing.

Then Ramiro Ponce dies and starts to haunt her because she is the only one that can see him.

And she wants to kill him again.

Ramiro Ponce is an idiot. A fucking idiot and a spineless coward that can choke on a fork- or he could have done it since he is dead now.

He had a car accident and Ámbar wants to scream that she always told him, million of times, that he always went to fast, but she reprime herself because she is grieving him. Even if he doesn't deserve it, even after everything he did.

They grew up together, friends since they were little idiots running around in the garden of the mansion. With their group, they ruled the school- and the Jam & Roller and everywhere else they went because they were that iconic.

He was always the funny one, the sunshine of the group. Hell, Ámbar always thought that he was the only one of them that judged people without being a complete jerk.

Then he skipped Luna's funeral and then they found out that he flew out of the town without even having the decency to tell them or call them or paying respect for her cousin.

That's probably where everything went to shit because if he didn't care for his friends then they shouldn't care about him, right?

No, because they all care for him, even if they are still pissed. And now Ámbar is crying for his death in Matteo's living room with the rest of her friends, hugging Jazmin tightly to support her. He doesn't even deserve them after the little stunt at Luna's funeral.

He shows up one hour later they found out- of course, he had to do it- standing in a corner and watching everyone with a pale face and guilty expression- serves him right.

She wants to get up and punch him but it would be a little weird since no one else can see him- she wishes that she couldn't see him either.

He turns her head to watch her and when he realizes that she can see him, he swallows. Then the bastard tilts his head to the side, a smirk on his face as he realizes what's going on, and wave his hand in her direction.

That's when she realizes that she is fucked.

ii.

"Does this dude never stops talking?"- he asks annoyed without moving his eyes from the dude he is referring. The priest. He is referring to the priest that is holding his funeral as an annoying dude- "It's like blah blah blah, Jeez just shut up and let them mourn me in peace."

He is standing right next to her and he's making really bad jokes that only she can hear.

Would it be weird if she opened the casket and slapped the body of Ramiro with the excuse that he deserved it?

"Shouldn't you be crying?"- he asks leaning towards her face and pretending to not notice that she is done with him and just want to be left alone- "You know, mourning me or something like that?"

Ámbar wants to laugh in his face- how can she mourn him when he is standing right in front of her and he's annoying her with his jokes?- but it's not the best thing to do since they are in a graveyard and someone is dead. At least for everyone else.

She hates that place because they are always more people around that they should be- but there are never the ones that she needs- and now she has to stand him too?

"Not a single tear? That's hurt Ámbs, makes me think you hate me"

She does, but at the same time, she doesn't. It's complicated.

Ramiro was a pain in the ass when he was alive but still, they grew up together, they were best friends. Then everything happened so fast and she wanted him dead. She never meant dead like this, more on metaphorically way.

Matteo grabs her hand, holding tightly and trying not to cry- he fails, memories crossing his minds too quickly to stop them- and Ramiro shut up for a few seconds, knowing that he can't do anything for his living friend.

It takes Ámbar a few minutes to realize that the Chilean is gone, disappearing the second Matteo breaks down against her shoulder.

iii.

She thinks that is the end, that Ramiro I'm-the-asshole-that-didn't-showed-up-at-Luna's-funeral Ponce will leave her alone and she would just add his name to the people she is mourning and then will move on.

He saw his funeral, the guys that a long time ago were his friends and he can move on to his next life or the white path or whatever he wants to do because she doesn't care for him.

Sadly it's not the end, at least not for her.

Ramiro is in her apartment, waiting for her on the couch, sitting upside down like he used to do at the mansion.

HE IS FUCKING HAUNTING HER.

iv.

She ignores him for two days straight- two longs day of bad jokes about death and annoying questions- before she eventually breaks and confronts him.

"Aren't you suppose to move on?"- she doesn't really know how it works because she never died- inside doesn't count apparently- and most of the ghosts don't even know that she can see them- "So you can finally leave me alone" "Well it's my first time as dead, I don't know what to do"- the boy smirks, thinking that is funny and she is gonna laugh- "Aren't you the one that talks to ghosts?"

Does he fucking think she has a manual or something like that? Do her memories fool her and he is actually fucking dumb?

"I don't talk with them and they don't talk with me, which is a really great deal for both of us"- she wonders if Ghostbusters are real? Maybe she could check on the Internet, that would be a really good idea.

"That's depressing"

She wants to ask what's his deal, what's his unfinished business with the world. There must be a reason why he can't leave her alone, but she tells herself that she doesn't care for him. She does, even if she doesn't like it.

"You are a shitty ghost-talker"- he sounds serious but his smile tells her that he is not.

"You are a shitty ghost"

There is a high chance that he might die again.

first act

When Ámbar Smith was younger and dumb, she had a crush on Ramiro Ponce. He was sweet, charming and funny.

It was her little secret, her own dirty, little secret.

Then she realized he was a fucking idiot.

She founds out that having a ghost as a roommate is not that bad- most of the time.

They don't leave the toilet seat up after they peed as Matteo used to do, they don't eat her favorite yogurt like Delfi and they don't steal her precious and beautiful clothes to go on dates with Nico- Jazmin could never be trusted again after that.

But then again her roommate is the ghost of Ramiro fucking Ponce, so it's definitely bad.

He is a pain in the ass and he wants to make sure remembers it every second of the day.

He complains about what she eats ("You've been eating the same meal for three days straight" "I really fucking like salad, okay?"), what she watches on TV- if she is the one that can touch the remote, she is the one that chose what to watch- he annoys her when she is reading something and he makes faces behind the people she's trying to talk to.

If he was human she would have thrown him out, but he's a ghost and she can't touch him.

vi.

"I won't talk for three days and I won't show up either but, please, for God's s-"

"I thought you were an atheist. Death made you change your mind?"- she teases him, putting the DVD of Titanic on and getting ready to enjoy her film.

"For someone's sake can you please, pretty pretty please, not watch Titanic again?"

She pretends to think about it- she will never says this out loud, but she does think about that because she can't stand him anymore and would do anything to make him shut up- then she simply says 'no'. A little word but it's not like he can do something to change her mind, it's her choice.

"Why can't we watch something else? You always pick the movie!"

He can't stand another evening watching that movie, that's his own personal hell, but the girl seems to love it endlessly.

She looks at him in disbelief- is he seriously asking that?- stopping herself from reminding him that she is the only alive, human being in that house.

She doesn't do that, though, because it would be too insensible even for her- he doesn't deserve kindness but she spent too much time with Simón after Luna's death and he made her soft.

They watch the movie together like always and, surprisingly, he doesn't complain.

At least, not that much.

vii.

The thing that Ámbar learned with time, is that seeing ghosts is not that bad once you get used to it.

You learn that is not as poetic or beautiful like in movies because the ghosts are not pretty. They are paler then they were in real life with sad expressions on their face, they leave this tiny dust wherever they go- that disappear in a few seconds- and the longer they stay on Earth, trying to fulfill their porpuses the shadest they get. She saw one of them one time and it terrified her in ways that she can't, yet, elaborate.

It was just a black silhouette standing on the corner of the road, watching a kid playing basketball with a sad smile of his face, or what was left of a face.

She saw family members watching the others, at least for a few seconds, before vanishing and she wished she had those moments too.

When Luna died, the first of the long list, she never visited her for saying good-bye or checking on her and it broke her heart knowing that she didn't care about her feelings, then her mother died and did the same thing- but she is not surprised that Sharon Benson didn't think of her.

Her biggest lost, hower, is without a doubt her grandad Alfredo that died a few weeks before her twenty-one birthday, leaving a grieving girl behind, breaking her heart when she realized that he wouldn't have come visiting her. But again, why would he? He was already with his favorite niece.

They never showed and she is still waiting for them.

viii.

They live like that for a few weeks- well she lives, he just ghosts around the house- before it happens.

She was particularly moody that day- blame Matteo that kept her up till 3 am- and Ramiro was joking around, pushing her until she exploded. Of course, he forgot that it was Luna's birthday- or it would have been if she was still alive- he doesn't care how much time pass or what day is, he just care to haunt her until she is even more miserable than she already feels.

So when it happens everything became a battlefield and, later a greek tragedy.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Ramiro is a little taken back- it's the first time she doesn't respond with a sarcastic comeback- not knowing exactly how to handle an extra mad Ámbar, mostly because he doesn't know what's going on with her.

"For once in your life can you shut up and leave me the fuck alone?"- she means all of that- being haunted is not something that she likes- but at this point, she is mad, and hurt and just want to be left alone for some time and he is pissing her off, so she doesn't care if she hurt his feelings in the process. She just wants a fucking break from everything.

"What's wrong with you today?"- the blonde ignores how his voice sounds hurt because she is not gonna deal with a sad ghost right now- she never wanted to deal with a ghost in the first place.

"What's wrong with me? Well, for starters, I can see and talk with ghosts"- she starts explaining- "Two, the one guy that I considered my friend left me alone the day of my cousin's funeral without even having the decency to call me and third, today is said cousin birthday and everyone is constantly asking me to go out with them because they are scared that I'll do something stupid"- exasperation fills her voice and she hates herself because she doesn't want anyone to see her breakdown- even if he is a ghost.

Everyone is constantly expecting her to explode like a bomb and Ámbar doesn't want to, but it's hard mourning someone when you are still waiting for them to visit you.

The conversation dies there because Delfi shows up unexpectedly claiming that she fought with Pedro- is just an excuse to talk with Ámbar and stay with her- and Ramiro disappears is a second.

He knows that he screwed up, but he wants to make amend.

ix.

"Hey Ámbar"

"I thought you disappeared"

"Do you think I'm still beautiful, even as a ghost?"

"You were beautiful when you were alive?"

He thinks they are cool then, or at least until she calls him in her room two nights after their fight. He wants to make some jokes about inviting boys in her room at night, but he stops himself. She is crying and he doesn't know what to do or how to make her feel better.

He never saw her cry- well, maybe when they were kids but she almost broke her arm it was normal- and he doesn't even what's going on.

She is a mess- beautiful and complicated, but still a mess- and usually, she would handle things alone but this time she can't anymore.

For the last years of her life, she tried to handle everything and everyone in her way- Luna's death, Sharon's death, and Alfredo's death- trying to not make anyone worry about her or her feelings. She had been there for everyone but she ignored her feelings until they became too many.

He looks at her from the frame of the door, still not moving, still trying to understand what's going- why did she suddenly breakdown?- when he notices that she is holding Luna's old diary in her hands.

Well, that explains a lot...

"I'm sorry for yesterday, I j-just couldn'-"- she can't even talk and she feels pathetic- what would Sharon think of her?- but it's not like Ramiro care if she is crying. He is more worried about what could happen if he leaves her alone.

"It doesn't matter Ámbs"- it's just a whisper but she hears it anyway and that makes her cry even harder, to his surprise.

He sits on her bed, trying to hug but trespassing her and giving her chills while he feels warm under the hands- he hasn't felt that in a while.

He listens to her for the whole night. Listen to how she blames herself, how everyone is copying and she can't move on, like the moment Monica told her that Luna was dead is stuck in on repeat in her head. She tells him about her ex Benicio and everything he put her through, she opens up about why she is always so mad. When she is over he tells her about the Adrenaline, how they put him in bad habits that he tried to quit them, but only got worse after Luna's death. Which is why he could go to her funeral, because he felt so ashamed of himself and that Luna would have hated him.

They fall asleep together, facing each other and maybe- only maybe- having Ramiro around is not that bad anymore.

second act

When Ámbar Smith was an innocent little girl she had a best friend, Ramiro Ponce. Then they fought and she hated him. Then he died and he started haunting her.

That's how the tragedy started.

xi.

Turns out that after that night a lot of things change.

He is not a little shit anymore and staying around him is actually funny- she feels like they went back to be kids. They watch movies and spend days talking. Until Jazmin's knock on the door of her apartment to talk with her. She hasn't been much around lately and her friends want to check on her.

The blonde sips her tea while her friend shows her some magazines with the latest trends, Ramiro realizes that no matter how much time passes, Jazmin is always gonna be Jazmin- and he loves her for that.

"Are you gonna go back to the mansion one day?"- the redhead asks in a moment of silence, almost making the other girl choke on her precious tea- it's green tea and Ramiro teased her about that too.

She never really thought of it- yes, the mansion has been her home for her whole life but she is haunted by the memory of Luna there- and, for the first time in her life, she is not sure of what to answer. She misses that place, but mostly she misses the memories she had there- she misses who used to live there.

"I'm not sure of it, why?"- it's a simple question and yet Jazmin sighs, making her furrow her eyebrows. Both of them know the answer, one of them just don't want to accept it.

"You haven't been around much lately, not since Ramiro's funeral. We are worried for you"- she is whispering- why everyone always whispers? Is that a secret move that she doesn't know, is there an actual reason or people can't raise their fucking voices?- and she is terrified to make her mad.

Everyone knows that talking to Ámbar about her feelings it's like walking on a mine-strewn and it would be better to leave her alone, let her think about everything alone- like always- but then they remember. Remember how miserable she was after Luna, how she couldn't even get up from the bed for a whole week. Her screams whenever she had a nightmare and when she finally broke down, trying to keep herself together but failing. How hard it was to convince her that she wasn't broken, she was grieving and it was okay. They don't want that to happen again.

Ámbar understands her point of view but it's hard grieving for the boy that she can see standing in the hallway with a sad smile on his face.

xii.

The morning of her birthday she wakes up with Ramiro already by her side, looking at her and waiting to start the day- to piss her off.

"You are creepy"- and if he was still alive she would have pushed him down the bed and called the police but it's just her roommate ghost- "Couldn't you wait for me in the kitchen?" "Happy birthday Ámbs"- he states, completely ignoring what she said before- "What are we gonna do today?"

"Gas told me that Teo threw me a party. Seriously is sad how that guy can't even keep a secret"- she is rambling, he knows because she keeps moving her mouth and he can hear words but he is too busy watching her face. He feels sixteen all over again when they talked about everything and he got lost in her eyes. When he used to spend hours wondering what would feel like to kiss her and hold her in his arms. Except that he is twenty-two and he is dead now. But it could be worse, right?

"I would ask you to come to the party but- "- she doesn't end the sentence, she doesn't need to because Ramiro understands.

He is dead and no one would see him. No one will see him ever again.

"We can always watch a movie, but I'm gonna chose it this time"

She laughs and he follows her. None of the two notices that their smiles don't reach their eyes, and they won't know that it's for the same reason.

He is dead and nothing can change that.

xiii.

She missed her friends. And she realizes it as soon as she steps in the room and the group is there waiting, smiles on their faces and birthday's gift on the table near the lemon cake that she loves. A cake that was probably made by Matteo since he hates buying the in the pastry shop- and that's definitely not because he fought with the employer.

She missed them so much and yet, she can't shake the feeling that something- or someone- is missing. Maybe she is just so used to have Ramiro around that is weird being without him, even if it's only for a few hours.

They drink and party all night, feeling like they are seventeen and rebels all over again and maybe- only for one little second- they are. They don't have to worry about the friends they lost, about the family that they lost. They just care about the moment and for a few hours, they are free.

Then it all ends just as fast as it started. Ámbar is slightly drunk- she is wasted but she is denial- and Simón offers her a passage home- her apartment is on the way.

Pedro and Nico fall asleep in the car and the girl would make fun of them if she wasn't too busy looking at the stars from the window.

They have small talks- it's not like drunk Ámbar would have a whole conversation- and he found ironic how she can still be her usual smart-ass self even when she is that drunk.

"I'm just stating that 12 is definitely the worse multiple of 4, everyone knows that"- she exclaims while he tries to carry her to her apartment, trying to know laugh at what she is saying- if he could record her when she is like this he would, but then she would kill him and that's not a really good thing.

"Yeah, silly of me to forget it"-he replies and luckily she doesn't catch his sarcasm in that moment because otherwise, he would have to listen to her complaining- and this is not a good moment.

He opens the door and he can't see Ramiro standing in the corner, looking worried at the scene. Maybe he is a little disappointed that he is dead because he can't carry her like that, or just touch her in general, but he is not gonna admit it out loud.

"I want to sleep"- she is drunk and he smiles because she is adorable and cute and everything she can be and she is looking at him. Yes, could only be spaced out and not in her right mind but she is looking at him, not Simón.

"You are going to sleep bonita, just give me a few seconds"- he brings her to her bedroom and Ramiro follows them closely, making fun of the nickname under his breath. It's not like he would hear him anyway, which is good because he completely loses his shit when he sees Simón struggling to remove her high heels- it's not that hard, he is just really tired, ok?- cursing them under his breath.

The Mexican looks around the room, looking for something that could keep her warm- he has no intention of undressing her.

The ghost opens his eyes when he notices the hoodie his friend is putting on her. It was his, from one of the last time he visited the Mansion, long before he screwed up everything- she kept it? Even after everything he did. He left it in the mansion the day they graduated- the best day of his life for many reasons.

The boy that is alive kisses her on the forehead- lingering a little too much to be only a friendly kiss- before closing the door of the room and turning off the light to let her sleep.

Simón is alive and always had chemistry with Ámbar. He is dead and disappointed her too many time. In his mind, that's a battle that he has already lost. In her's, there was never one.

xiv.

The next morning Ámbar is in hangover and Ramiro tries to cheer her up for three hours before she goes to sleep again.

"Last night was fun, uh?"- he sarcastic question when she groans against her pillow.

"Shut up"- she replies annoyed, trying to understand where the buzzing comes from- if her neighbor is masturbating again in the bathroom at 9 am she is gonna throw hands at her husband because he can't make her cum- "Have someone ever told you how much you are annoying?"

"You did it, for all my life and even after"- he answers quickly before remembering what happened last night with his old friend- until he has answers about where those two romantically stands, he is no longer gonna call him by his name- "What happened last night with Romeo?"

"Who the fuck is Romeo?"- he realizes from the skepticism in her voice that maybe is not the best thing to be petty and not say his name.

"Our beloved Mexican, you idiot"

She doesn't answer immediately and his heart would miss a beat if he still had one, then she snorts and starts laughing.

"He just gave a ride home. You know he is always nice with everyone"

He doesn't kiss everyone like that, though.

He talks with her until she falls asleep and he disappears in the kitchen, looking at the note the boy left for her the night before.

'You must hate me because I've let you sleep in that dress but at least I gave you the hoodie. Hope it was comfortable- Simón'.

Ramiro rolls his eyes, throwing himself on the couch. 'At least I gave you the hoodie' you would say something like that? A moron, that's who.

That could have been him if only they didn't screw up so much in the past.

If only...

third act

The last day of school Ramiro Ponce kisses Ámbar Smith against a tree and it's not exactly like neither of them imagined it but it's still perfect. Then Luna dies and he skips town and she fucking hates him.

He had always been selfish to the core, she should have noticed that earlier.

xv.

"This is a setup date"- Ramiro exclaims while Ámbar is looking in the mirror, trying to pick up a dress- "I can't believe you haven't realized that"

"It's not. Delfi and Jaz wanted to go out with Pedro and Nico and offered me to go with them so Simón wouldn't be alone. Now which one"

He snorts. Is she playing dumb or she doesn't realize anything about her romantic life anymore? She is smarter than that, he knows that.

Maybe she likes Simón.

"The light blue one matches your eyes"- she smiles, putting the pink one in the wardrobe and looking in the mirror to imagine the make-up she could wear. There was a nice color in a palette that Jazmin gave her for her birthday, maybe she could use that.

"Do you think I'm pretty?"- she suddenly asks, surprising the boy- he always thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Her younger self would laugh at her, her ego bigger than the whole mansion at that time, but now she only the fragile ghost of who she used to be and she doesn't feel pretty enough.

"Ms. My-ego-is-bigger-than-my-house, are you asking me if you are pretty?"- the sarcasm in his voice makes her roll her eyes and, weirdly enough, smile at the same time. Why did she ask him anyway? He used to kiss everyone who had an heart-beat.

She goes to the bathroom to get ready, giving him the middle finger before leaving the room. He laughs for a few seconds, then he remembers what she told him. How Benicio used to treat her, what he always told her to keep her with him, how he dared to make her feel less than she was because he was scared to lose her.

He let himself fall on the couch, hating that guy with every fiber of his body- well, of his soul because he doesn't have a body anymore- and waiting for her to get out of the bathroom to speak with her.

"Hey bonita"-he mocks his friend as soon as he notices blondes hair in the hallway, stopping as soon as he takes a good look at her.

She is always being gorgeous, at least in his eyes, and that dress on her is just wow. And he can't shake the ugly feeling in his chest that tells him that he should have been the one.

"Stop making fun of him!"- she complains throwing the purse at him, realizing too late that it will trespass him- "Shit!"

"Well I was about to compliment you but now I'm hurt"- he jokes, ignoring the fact that she looks so pretty and she is going on a date with Simón.

Fuck, he used to like that guy- he still does, he is just jealous- but now every time he thinks of him he just gets angry- at himself, because he never told her how he felt, at their destiny because it ripped away every chancè he had and at his friend because he is alive and has a possibility with her.

Ámbar shakes her head, laughing silently while taking her purse from the couch and fixing in on her shoulder.

"I'm gonn-"- "You look beautiful"

They are in silence for a few seconds that someone knocks at the door.

That's another thing they will never talk about.

xvi.

Simón is a really nice guy, she always knew. She always has fun with him and she doesn't feel like she is a complete bitch near him because he brings out her best part, but he also ignores her darker self. He always focuses on the good and pretends that the bad in the world doesn't exist. So she smiles and for a few minutes she tries to be like him, but then they face the world and she can't pretend.

She can't pretend that she doesn't notice the way a ghost looks at her with lust trying to get closer until she glares at him, or the way a drunk man cat calls her from the other side of the street.

The truth is that she liker Simón- everyone does- and they have a great time together but then she remembers dark curly hair under a stupid baseball hat, the guy that stood up for her in every situation- no matter how fucked was- and she realizes that he is not the one for her.

And the realization is just a cruel joke on her because her one love is now dead, and she never told him anything. They never had a possibility or maybe they did and they wasted it. What if they had more than one and they threw them all away?

At the end of the night, he kisses her on her cheek, and she thinks that it's a nice feeling, but her mind can't help but wonder how would it be if he was Ramiro.

xvii.

The next day Ámbar is making cookies while Ramiro is sitting on the counter laughing his ass off. She has always been a terrible chef but seeing her trying to cook while also dancing to the ABBA's song 'Lay all your love on me' is something that he never thought he would see in his life. There are already some cookies in the oven and there is a countdown that is running out of time, even if neither of them knows.

It feels natural like it's always being that way, like it should be this way for the rest of her life.

Like is them against the world all over again and they are teenagers one more time.

The blonde slides next to him, ending in front of him and both of them laugh at the once Queen of the rink. She used to be so perfect in everything and now she is tripping because of her white socks.

The atmosphere in the room change as soon as the two of them stops laughing and they look in each other's eyes. Their smiles fade away slowly but they can't look away from the other's eyes- why is it always the eyes?

Ramiro moves his hand against her cheek, forgetting that he is not gonna feel anything if not a warm sensation under his palm.

The cold from the contact sends chills all over her body and she wishes, with every fiber of her being, that she could feel his skin against hers, that she could kiss him in that exact moment.

"I wish I could kiss you right now"- he is whispering and she would really be pissed at him- he knows she hates whispering- if she wasn't too surprised to speak. That is the moment when she realizes that she had been waiting for what's about to happen for a long time- maybe since their first/last kiss in the schoolyard.

They both lean closer, forgetting that they won't ever touch or feel the other until they are the inches apart, still looking in each other eyes. They don't want to look away, almost as they're scared to kill whatever is happening. For a second they forget everything that happened.

It feels like the time has been frozen as they could stay in that moment for the rest of eternity, just the two of them.

But it doesn't work that way and they should know better.

The timer of the oven rings and the atmosphere breaks, bringing them back in the- cruel- reality. He is a ghost- in a few years he will become a shadow if he doesn't follow the light path- and she is a girl with her whole life in front of her. He is gonna finish his business sooner or later and will leave her alone, dealing with an heart-break she will never get over.

They were never meant to be together.

Ámbar moves toward the oven to open it, wishing to take back the last ten minutes because she wants to kiss him now, trying to erase the moment from her mind- and keeping it close at the same time.

Another song from the ABBA starts and both of them smile sadly at the irony without looking at each other.

Because of course, it started 'The winner takes it all', that's their fucking luck.

xviii.

Ámbar and Matteo visit Luna's grave but the blonde can't shake the feeling of loneliness from her. It's been almost two years but she still remembers everything vividly, like it was yesterday.

"Life is a fucking joke on us, don't you think?"- he asks trying to not cry, not in front of all these strangers- "I never told Luna I loved and you never told Ramiro you loved him"

It's different than this, she knows it too well. Too many evenings with her cousin, talking about boys, life and their future. All is useless now.

"Luna loved you too, you know? I always teased her because she was 100% sure you like someone else"- she chuckles at the memories the girl hiding her head under the pillow because she was making fun of her.

"Must be a family trait"- he states with a sad smile before turning to her to put his hand over her shoulder- "Because you never notice that Ramiro was in love with you"

But he is wrong there because she always knew, she was only scared to tell him that she loved him too.

xix.

Technically she could be in love with a ghost, it could work. Yeah, they could never touch each other but as far as now it worked, right?

It's not like she is gonna complain if she can spend the rest of her life with the guy she loves since she was fourteen. Maybe they stand a chance after all- maybe they are destined to be together.

xx.

He is completely and absolutely in love with her.

He loves her, it took him to die and haunt her for two months to fucking admit it out loud but he loves her. And she loves him back, the girl of his dreams loves him back.

Which is why he needs to leave, because he would keep her away from her life because they are a tragedy.

Because they were never meant to be together.

xxi.

As soon as she gets back home she notices that Ramiro is standing on his feet, against the wall and that's already weird since he is always on the couch. Then she realizes that he is whimpering and he is gonna cry soon.

"I lied to you"- she doesn't understand and she is terrified- "I know what's keeping me here. I've known for a while now but I wouldn't admit it because I'm scared to lose you"

What does he mean? Lose her? She doesn't understand anything and Ramiro is crying and she can't touch him to comfort him- can they go back and start the conversation all over again?

"I-It's you, it's always been you. I'm i-in love with you but I could never tell you and now I'm dead and-"- he stops talking when he feels something warm against his cheek, the feeling of her hand, and he hopes that he will remember it in the afterlife.

"I love you too-"- he stops her there, shaking vigorously his head- "I'm leaving. I can't do this to you, you deserve to be happy"

"You do too. You make me happy, please don't leave me"- She tries to hold to him, begs him to stay, letting all her pride shatter to the ground just to be with him- "I can't lose you too"

She refuses to add his name to the list of the ones she will never see again, to not being able to spend the rest of her life with him- to admit that they lost their happy ending.

"I love you, Ámbar Smith, I've always loved you"- she lets herself fall on the floor- "And I've been selfish for too long"

epilogue

Ámbar Smith and Ramiro Ponce's love was written in the stars.

What everyone seems to forget it's that nothing lasts forever and, eventually, even stars fade.

xxii.

Ámbar wakes up alone on the couch, after watching the last film with Ramiro, after seeing the guy she loves for the last time. She tried to stay awake to not miss a single second of the boy but, eventually, she fell asleep and he left. He left her with teary eyes and a sad smile on his face, kissing- trying to kiss- her forehead and then walking towards the light- technically was only towards the hallway but it was towards the light for him.

Suddenly the apartment doesn't feel like home anymore, it feels like four walls that hold to many memories that she wants to forget- it feels like she is back in the mansion after Luna's death- and she is suffocating, like if she is underwater. She needs to breathe and break free from some walls all over again.

She gets up and puts some shoes on, leaving the house in a few seconds, her mind going back, against her will, to the day of her first kiss with Ramiro. How perfect it was, the way his lips- she needs to forget, she can't deal with that right now or she's not gonna reach him in time.

She runs in the street, not caring about anything, not the drunk mans standing on the corner declaring their love to someone nor the rain that is falling over her with fury. She just wants her best friend Matteo at her side.

He was always there for her and right now that's exactly what she needs- he is the only one that can understand her.

She rings the bell multiple times until a really pissed Matteo open the door, ready to punch whoever is standing there- "It's fucking 2 am, what the fuc-"

He shuts up as soon as he sees her and his heart shatters. Her teary eyes, the wet hair, and clothes are the first things he notices but not the one that worries him the most, she looks broken. For the first time, he thinks- he feels- that he can't help her.

And he goes back when he lost Luna and thought he would never find someone else in his life when he needed someone but the blonde and Gastón were there for him even in his worst days.

"He's gone"- she cries out falling in his arms and losing the ability to stand on her legs, finally letting everything out- "He's gone forever and I love him" "I know Ambs"- she doesn't notice that he is crying too and that they are on the front porch of his house, under the pouring rain.

The next day Gastón will find them asleep on the couch, still wet and with dried tears still on their cheeks. He won't need to ask them anything, he already knows.

xxiii.

An eighteen years old Ámbar is hugging all her friends, happy that she finally finished school, thinking about all the opportunities that the future holds.

"We made it bitches!"- of course, Gastón had to do it and the professor of History gives him a side-eye, making the young boy shut up immediately.

The Chilean grabs her hand, pulling her behind him without the other noticing anything- Matteo does but decides to stay quiet.

He leans against her and steals a kiss under one of the trees in the schoolyard. A kiss that both of then wish could last forever, but that it won't.

"Can you believe I made it?"- he whispers against her soft lips smiling fondly before running towards Matteo, leaving the girl with millions of questions in her mind. And one hope in her heart that will be crashed in a few weeks.

xxiv.

Monica gives her a cup of tea, smiling sadly at the young girl with a broken heart. How unfair is life to young lovers, and she knows that is always gonna hurt.

"Do you wanna talk?"- she questions calmly, not wanting to push the girl over the edge and see her break down again in her arms.

"Not really"- it's a whisper and it's so ironic because she always hated to whisper but lately, it's all she can do, not founding enough voice to speak properly.

"Ok"- then they sip their tea in silence, lost in their thoughts on the same topic.

Some loves are not made to be lived.

xxv.

"What does it means that Ramiro left?"- the blonde asks, clutching her fists so tightly that her knuckles get paler than usual- "What the fuck it means Matteo?"

"I don't know"- he states simply trying to not lose control- "I can try to call him aga-"

"He is dead to me"- she cuts him off, surprising her best friend- "Call him and tell him that he can stay wherever he is because for all I care this is his funeral too"

She regrets saying that one second later, but her pride is stronger.

xxvi.

Ámbar laughs hugging Simón and kissing him to shut him up.

"I'm right!"- he tries to state but he is laughing too and his girlfriend is kissing him and he finds hard to resist her power.

Delfi, Jazmin, and Pedro smile at their friends' happiness while Nico and Gastón are challenging each other to see who can eat more marshmallow without stopping and Matteo is the judge. Jim and Yam are dancing in the living room while Nina records them for her their youtube channel trying to not laugh when she sees Nico falling from his chair.

It looks like they never been through the pain like they are the full group and nothing happened.

"Guys I have to tell you something"- it's Pedro that is talking and everyone already knows what he is about to say- "I'm pregnant and Delfi is gonna be father!"

The brunette girl massages her temples with her finger, wondering why her boyfriend is so damn idiotic and everyone else just starts laughing at the poor boy that doesn't understand what he said that was so funny.

"It's not a j-"- "Delfi is pregnant and you are gonna be a father"- correct Simón patting his shoulder before hugging him- "Congratulation man" The blonde smiles, hugging her friend and smiling at her belly- "Don't worry little thing, you will have an amazing aunt"

xxvii.

Ramiro stares at the phone in his hands, thinking that he could call her and explain himself. Jesus, he would rather hear her scream at him than to not hear her at all. Maybe he could show up at the mansion to explain everything to her. She won't forgive him immediately, he knows she won't, but maybe he could try to fix everything.

Maybe one day they will have another chancé but for now, he only wants to make up for being an absolute asshole, to be her friend again.

The traffic light turns green and he starts the car, not knowing that someone else won't respect the 'STOP' sign on the other side and their cars will crash into each other.

The day he was hoping for, that he was praying for, it will never come.

xxviii.

Ámbar stands on the balcony of the mansion looking at the stars while everyone else is partying for the news. She is happy for Delfi and Pedro, she is happy with Simón and she is happy for all their achievements. And yet, she is not fully, completely happy as she should be.

"I know you are there, I can feel you idiot"- she smiles sadly as soon as he reaches her, looking at the stars just like her.

"How many of those do you think are dead right now?"- is a simple question that makes her smiles sadly, not knowing which answer to give him- probably most of them.

"Alcohol?"- Matteo offers her a glass filled with vodka that he found in the kitchen- why it was there is a mystery.

She takes it and observes the object for a few seconds before raising it to the sky- "To the love we lost because we were too late and too scared to stand a chancé against destiny"- "And the love we found in our darkest times, so we could still believe in fate"

They drink it fast, smiling to each other as soon as they finish before starting to laugh.

Because in the end, every love story that was ever born is a fucking tragedy.

#soy luna fanfiction #soy luna ff #rambar #ramiro x ambar #ambar x ramiro #ambar smith #ramiro ponce #technically simbar #I mean simbar is endgame but not the main ship

22 notes · View notes

phemonoi · 5 years

Text

tarot cards as foster the people lyrics 🌿✨

*based on the waite tarot deck

I've wanted to do this to better understand the relation of the cards with one another and I thought it'd be a good idea to post it here!

i. aces, the magician & justice

—houdini

“rise above, gonna start the war!” / “well, and eye for an eye, and an ‘f’ for a fight” / “well, you got what you want and what you never knew, perfect gift from me to you” / “focus on your ability, then they can’t get what they want to steal”

the aces have an aura of beginning, the spark of an idea, oportunity, birth. however, the magician is the “trigger” of that change, he controls it, activates it. he’s the architect and alchemist that has the ability to make use of each suit as he pleases. with justice, as we see, this power comes with a responsability. you get back what you give. and because the magician is also an illusionist, a liar and a thief, justice needs to be there as a reminder of what happens when you abuse magic.

ii. twos, high priestess & the hanged man

—shc

“you’re a secret, that’s worth keeping, and now i’m keeping my mouth shut” / “well, i’ve been sleeping waiting for something, but to feel nothing at all, avoid the call” / “when i’m alone, there’s a ghost the keeps talking, and i know there’s gotta be more, for sure”

the twos are a symbol of alchemy, and this can be clearly seen in the cups with the caduceus of hermes on the background. the high priestess is the master of occult knowledge, she channels cosmic knowledge through intuition, thus creating a bond, an exchange of energy within her and the universe. the hanged man needs meditation and contemplation in order to decide what’s next, what’s real from what’s an illusion. he urges stillness in order to recover, much like the two of swords.

iii. threes, the empress & death

—fire escape

“my spine is made of iron, my heart pumps out old red paint” / “I see the seasons change, all the young faces come and replace the dying ones” / “i’ve watched the dreamers find their legs, and i’ve seen the ones that come get reduced to bones and rags”

this procesion of cards illustrates the importance of cycles. the threes combine pain, sorrow (swords) with recovery, harmony (cups), planning (pentacles) with action (wands), conveying the message that one simply can’t exist without the other, for the presence of the other is what gives one its importance, its core definition. they’re light and shadow, much like birth (empress) and death.

iv. fours, the emperor & temperance

—coming of age

“you know i try to live without regrets, i’m always moving forward and not looking back, but i tend to leave a trail of dead while moving ahead” / “just like an animal, i protect my pride, when i’m too bruised to fight, and even when i’m wrong i tend to think i’m right. well, i’m bored of the game, and too tired to rage”

the emperor is the giver of stability, as we can see in four of pentacles and four of wands. he provides a stable foundation to build a home, he’s a father. meanwhile, the four of cups and four of swords portray temperance; they’re about patience, balance, and meditation. the emperor, as a leader, needs to balance the responsability of his power out with temperance, or else he will become a tyrant, ruled by fire.

v. fives, the hierophant & the devil

—pay the man

“say what you love, it’s alright don’t be afraid to find your light, embrace the day, at night we’re here to fight, we all go wild again” / “climbing up my own tree, hoping it can hold all the things i’ve seen but i’ve chosen to ignore. well, i said, well i believe i’ve been well fed but the wolf’s not dead” / “lift up your name, seasons change, you know that it'll never be the same, we'll see the sun again, and before it fades, i just wanna say that i love you”

this procesion is very deep. it speaks of the spirit on a level that no other procesion of cards does in the entire deck. because the hierophant is combined with the devil, i feel like it unites opposite religious concepts: heaven with hell, purity with dirt, wisdom with madness. this alchemy of the soul is pretty much a product of dionysos, and that’s why he’s often identified with both major arcanas. the fives, now, are the middle point of each suit; they mark a transcendental point in the path of the fool. they speak of poverty, sadness, confusion and conflict. this is the event that leads to the tower; the failure, the longing for illumination, the unmasking of the lies and illusions that have ruled one’s life until now. the unity of darkness and light, the highest power, thrice-born and divine, with the lowest impulses of nature, the satyrs and maenads that lure you into their orgy. the devil here demands to be payed back, he wants retribuition, while the hierophant presents himself as the saviour, the guide, that happens to also be incredibly biased. i think it’s very useful to view this procesion as a representation of dionysos, he who initiates us into the journey of self-discovery through mysteries and shadows.

vi. sixes, the lovers & the tower

—the truth

“well i’ve been trying to relearn my name, it feels like a thousand years that i’ve been out of frame and i surrender, the truth is what it’s what i’ve needed from you, cause i’ve been floating within your walls of opinion, and i’m tired. i only want the truth” / “a blinding call to prayer has touched my feet, like the call of the prophets, a purpose is needed before you know that you know, to never wonder what you are, and not forget where you’ve come from” / “is it really love you’ve been speaking of?”

the lovers and the tower have a closer relation than what i thought at first, and the verses of this song really show it. the lovers is, finally, the resolution of the devil and the hierophant: it is the unification of duality, the yin and yang, and its lust is still present in the devil; the impetus and dichotomy of human emotion. but the tower and the hierophant are both events of immense spiritual enlightment. they represent freedom. the sixes are about charity, change, escape, and victory.

vii. sevens, the chariot & the star

—doing it for the money

“just close your eyes, we’re gonna run this blind, we live our lives, we’re not wasting time, maybe we lost our minds, we’re gonna get what we can” / “i said it doesn’t matter where i go, i am calling all the poets into battle, i am shouting to the world let them know that we won’t be afraid to step into the fight when we can’t see the light” / “there’s no retreat and no escape if we keep dreaming while we’re wide awake”

dreams, hope, courage and art. this is a creative procesion of cards. after the breakdown of the sixth procesion, the seventh brings bravery forthward. there’s no time to waste and we’re now purified, convinced of our worth and what we need to do in order to achieve what is needed. we’ve accepted the situation, the nature of our uncontrolling emotions and the will of fate. the sevens take action, a bit impulsively, but still they trigger a necessary change after the depression seen with the lovers and the tower.

viii. eights, strength & the moon

—a beginner’s guide to destroying the moon

“and now i’m staring at the moon wondering why the bottom fell out, been searching for answers and there’s questions i’ve found” / “we’ve been crying for a leader to speak like the old prophets, the blood of the forgotten wasn’t spilled without a purpose, or was it?” / “you’ll never be whole until you lose control, and think freely to smash the wall of apathy, stop your self-importance and lift the weight off somebody else”

there’s a very pretty picture on the eight of cups in the ethereal visions illuminated tarot deck, because the moon is full, shining enormously over a deep blue landscape, and that perfectly illustrates the relation of this card to the major arcana of the moon. this procesion for me is about confidence. change is never easy, even when we’ve finally surrendered to the fate of circumstances, even when we were the ones to trigger it. eight of swords and eight of cups are not easy cards to gaze at, but we must remember that the moon is a mother, it is nurturing, it reminds us of the quality of nature to be cyclical, that things are always moving and flowing, and emotions don’t last forever. it’s also a card of illusions; it yells at us to remove the blindfold from our eyes and rediscover our worth. strength is about taming the beast, keeping on working, effort and struggle. so this tells me; no matter how much it hurts, keep going, be a leader, be the lion, make the blood you shed worth it.

xix. nines, the hermit & the sun

—pseudologia fantastica

“don’t be afraid of the knife, sometimes you gotta cut the limb to survive” / “you got to love the madness of the feeling, don’t have to rush the freshness of beginning, you got to get back up and face your demons, don’t ever be afraid of starting over”

the nines follow the archetype of the hermit and continue their path through the sun. when we’ve worked hard enough, when we’ve compromised to facing our shadow self, when we’ve retired to truly know ourselves, admiting what we’ve done, what we’re worth, and retreated into silence, then there’s a comeback filled with joy, music, light. the nine of swords is a necessary dark night of the soul leading to a definitive awakening.

xx. the tens, wheel of fortune & judgement

—iii

“and i wont be afraid, it’s true we’ll never know, when the night will come and take us home, and people change, we fade from youth, and evolve into eternal life” / “wake the sleeping from their dreaming, we all want more, we all want more saints will sing and hearts are beating, saying we all want more, we all want more”

there’s still much to learn in the ten of swords already, but because life is an ouroboros and our purpose is to return to having full control of all the suits and making use of that power faithfully and wisely, it doesn’t matter. in the tens, we admit that we can affect certain situations but there’s always something that escapes our sight; fortune acts alone. wheels turn again, endlessly, for eternity. we want more; the ten of cups portrays a couple with kids new life, new paths, a new story that is, again, yet to be unfold. ten of pentacles passes down its knowledge and experience to the youth; ten of wands continues with its struggle, in the conviction that the nine will come back. ten of swords, however, looks defeated. it ain’t. it’s finally the death of the past self. ten of swords is, actually, the scene of the moment the knight defeated his adversaries. it is a card of victory; but the knight is yet to become a king.

#tarot #witchcraft #witch #tarot deck #tarot spread #spirituality #divination #neophyte #baby witch #magick

14 notes · View notes