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#Calum Hood fan fiction
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Had My Chances (c.h)
Pairing: Calum Hood x Fem! Reader
Requested? Yes, by the lovely @getsojaded
Summary: Based on the One Direction song "loved you first" Calum can't help but feel jealous to see you with another man.
Warnings: Angst! Language, mentions of alcohol, smoking. Some grammatical mistakes (English is not my first language, I'm sorry)
Word count: 4.6K
Author's note: I've finally wrote an angst that broke my heart again, and I'm so happy with it. Remember that REBLOGS are very IMPORTANT AND MEAN A LOT as well as COMMENTS AND INTERACTIONS. PLEASE SUPPORT YOUR WRITERS. Hope you like it and happy reading
My masterlist // taglist on bio!
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Calum was choking the hell out of his beer can, leaving the imprints of his fingers as evidence for the poor soul that had to clean this mess up later.
It was an unconscious type of thing - he’s been doing a lot of unconscious things lately, none of them his fault, he would argue - but the intent behind it is nothing innocent.
There was a time when he used to be the life of the party. Or at least a bit more vivid than just standing in a far-off corner glaring at someone who barely paid attention to him. He didn’t mean to glare or to even look in their direction, but it was impossible to take his eyes off them. It was almost as if he wanted to hurt so badly he’d find a way out of heartache. Battle fire with fire and those sorts of things.
“Okay, who are we hatin’?”
He didn’t even need to look to his right to know that Ashton was standing there even before he spoke. His friend - the ever more intuitive when it came to talking about heartbreak or breaking hearts - should already know the answer to his question, and Calum knows he knows. Ashton just wants him to admit it.
Still, Ashton followed his gaze till it landed on the target.
“Cal,” He sighed “You can’t keep doing this to yourself. Nor her, for that matter”
“I’m not doing anything” Calum mumbled into his drink.
“You’re overthinking”
“And you should mind your own business” He spat, leaving the poor, abused can on the shelf behind him.
Calum walked outside, trying to get some air before his hands started roaming through his pockets looking for his pack of cigarettes. He tried to quit it, and many times he tried in vain. There was always something that pulled him into the vice again. Tonight was the selfish need of having the power to hurt himself without people noticing. Something he could regret tomorrow. Something that didn’t involve making the mistake of spilling and saying what he should’ve said years ago.
The lighter provided the only gleam of the outsides that night. As Calum inhaled the toxins of his favorite weapon, he closed his eyes and hoped to wake up and let all of this be a dream. But that wish went away with the smoke he pulled out of his lungs, watching it disappear into the night till it merged with the stars above.
He was not a man used to not getting what he wanted. So is this a gut punch to his ego? Yes, of course. But had he not been in love for some time he’d believe that it’ll come to pass, ignoring the heart-wrenching reality of him not being able to lightly caress your hair with the tip of his fingers; or not care about how his body moved him toward your space every time you were around; or claim that the times you were both in a group laughing, he would stare at you, drinking on your reaction and getting drunk of your laugh, while you stared at someone else.
It was just usual for him not getting what he wanted. But this was beyond any desire of his. This, for a lack of better words, was beyond his reach. And he hated it. He hated every moment of it since the first time he realized it, hoping it’ll go away.
But what could he expect from falling for his best friend?
*
Calum always believed in past lives and how you’re meant to reconnect with people that have meant something important to you. Whether it was in the form of a mother, a father, a pet, a friend, a teacher, a lover… Soulmates will find their way.
He also believed that his brothers were his soulmates. He knows deep in his heart that Luke, Michael, Ashton, and himself were meant to meet in every life, making music and sharing their message across the world for other people to hear. He also believed that his dog, Duke, might’ve come to him as a guide. An old teacher who bound his life to appear in the moments he needed most. He believes that his family would always be his family, maybe in different ways, but they’ll always come together one way or another.
Now, there is one thing Calum isn’t sure of, and that is you.
What were you to him before? Why are you here with him? And why does he feel compelled to be your everything?
When you met years ago, Calum didn’t think much of that first encounter. You were just a friend of a friend, a normal acquaintance. But then you kept meeting each other, whether at a party or a concert. And every time you grew closer. Whether it was the jokes you shared, the similar tastes in music and movies, the way you made each other laugh, or the secret codes you accidentally created. He was just eighteen back then, but he knew it had to mean something.
He just couldn’t figure out what role you played in his life. Not yet, at least.
“I don’t think that because you had a bad experience with milk you become lactose intolerant,” You said casually as you applied your mascara in the mirror.
It was not unusual for Calum to find himself pressing the facetime button to call you every day now, especially given that he was on the other side of the country touring with his band. The calls would mostly consist of him telling you about his day and you doing the same as the two of you would go on with your lives as if you were in the same room together even though you’re miles apart.
The two of you would indulge in conversations that could be as deep as a puddle of water - as the one you’re having now - or as deep as the sea. Never once feeling uncomfortable or falling silent. And even in the quiet types of calls, when you only need to feel each other’s presence after a long day, you would embrace the silence as a comfort rather than an inconvenience.
And Calum loved that. He loved these little moments with you. It didn’t matter if they lasted two minutes or three hours. He just knew that talking to you was one of the top best moments of his day.
He just didn’t understand why yet
“I could be, though” He pouted, watching as you applied blush to your cheeks “And the next time you take me for ice cream I might die and it’ll be your fault for playing it down”
You chuckled “I don’t think that’s how it works, babe”
And there it was, that little, weird feeling that made him all warm and fuzzy inside, triggered by a nickname. Calum quickly swallowed it down, just marking it up as the victory that was to make you laugh.
Still, he changed the subject.
“Why are you getting all dolled up?” He asked. Ignoring the way Luke looked at him for a second before going back to playing subway surfers on his phone.
“I’m going out”
“Where?”
“Dinner I guess, probably dancing afterward” You shrugged, trying to decide on which lipstick would suit best with your outfit.
“Girls' night?”
“No, it’s more like a date, I think. Well, he didn’t actually say “date - date” but I mean, he did everything you do when you ask someone for a date and-” You looked at your phone screen “Are you okay?”
Only then did Calum realize he clenched his jaw. He blinked at you and disguised it with a fake yawn.
“I didn’t know you had a date,” He said, trying to sound uninterested, but Luke’s eyes on him told him he was a bullshit actor.
You didn’t seem to catch it, though.
“I told you I was going out with Jessie”
“I thought you meant Jessica”
“Does it matter?” You asked, cornering him to a wall - metaphorically.
Calum sighed “Nope, just be safe and have fun, alright?”
You rolled your eyes and sarcastically said “Yes, dad” as you applied some gloss. Just in time for the doorbell to ring “Oops, that’s him. Wish me luck!”
And it might’ve been your smile and the way your eyes lit up when the doorbell rang knowing it was Jessie on the other side, or it might’ve been the spoiled milk he had in his coffee earlier. But there was an uneasy, foreign feeling in Calum’s chest as you said goodbye. Almost as if he didn’t want you to go at all.
But that was crazy. It’s probably nothing. So he smiled tightly and said “Bye, Y/N/N” and watched as you faded away before the facetime call ended.
Calum closed his eyes for a moment, frowning upon discovering this sunken feeling in his chest.
However, it didn’t last much as Luke was suddenly blasting “Jessie’s girl” through the hotel room’s speakers. Calum - rightfully so - smacked him with a pillow.
“Shut up” He groaned.
“I didn’t say anything!” Luke laughed
“You were going to!”
“How the fuck should you know?!”
A string of grumbled curses left Calum’s lips as he got up from the bed and went through his suitcase.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going out with Ash, wanna come?” He said, putting on a clean shirt.
“I didn’t know you were going out” Luke commented as he got up and went to find a shirt as well.
“We are now, c’mon”
To say the other two were surprised by Calum’s sudden need to go partying was an understatement given that Michael already was in his pajamas when the bassist went and knocked on their door, but neither of them was opposed to the idea. Soon, the whole band was dancing and drinking out at a club neither of them knew about one hour ago.
And if Calum was seen dancing and making out with a girl that looked like you, it was no one’s business but his own. And when he woke up next to a said girl a few hours later, no one needed to know.
*
The night was turning warmer, though that could be because of the alcohol and the three cigarettes he had since he came outside. The party was still in full swing but he wanted no part of that. Not when you were there with… him.
It’s stupid and he knows it. To have this unsolved grudge against you and every person you date.
You don’t owe him anything, no explanation or justification for any relationship you had or the one you were currently in. But he can’t help it. It’s just that every time he sees you wrapped around your partner’s arms he just wants to rip them off you and shield you from anyone’s eyes. From the moment he first noticed his feelings toward you it was clear that he couldn’t act on them to not ruin the relationship you two have.
He hates them. Every single one of them, every bloke that broke your heart or made you cry. He hates the ones you fell in love with, the ones that loved you back. The one that’s sitting on the couch next to you with his arms around your shoulder and the one that makes you laugh. He hates him the most and he’s not above showing it.
It’s not healthy but he doesn’t know how to stop.
“Why are you so protective of me?” You asked him once and he didn’t know how to tell you, so he made his heart quiet as his mind gave him a logical reason.
There were so many times when he could’ve fessed up and just tell you as it is. To make him the one that you would share your nights with instead of useless men who are not worthy of you.
Was he worthy of you?
Time for another cigarette.
*
Calum opened the door to find you there with a friendly smile; a pint of ice cream; a skin-care kit; and a bottle of wine. He couldn’t help but laugh as he stepped back so you could enter his house.
“I told you I’m fine,” He said, shaking his head as you made yourself comfortable on his couch, settling all the post-break-up necessities on the table.
“And I believe you,” You shrugged. “But I also know you, Cal. And you say you’re okay now but in a week it’ll all crash down as it always does because you bottle up your feelings. So let’s get them out of the way while we avoid the wreckage”
“I thought you didn’t even like her,” He said, sitting down next to you.
“I never said that!”
Calum gave you a look.
“I just didn’t think you were a good fit… that’s all” You confessed sheepishly.
Calum sighed “Well, you were right”
“I didn’t want to be” You scooted closer to him “I’m sorry, Cal. You truly seemed happy with her. And I liked seeing you happy”
He nodded but didn’t say anything. The break-up happened just a couple of days ago, and you were right when it came to talking about feelings now rather than later. But it was all so very new to him.
“I just- I never had a relationship like this before” He confessed.
“You really liked her, didn’t you?”
And yes, he did. For the first time in years, Calum could actually focus on a relationship. He had met his ex at a party, they talked all night and then he went home with her number saved on his phone. What followed were almost two years of amazing moments and memories filled with love but… something wasn’t right.
It wasn’t something any of them did, it just sort of happened. Blame the routine and the lack of effort from both parties, but they didn’t feel as if the relationship should continue. Yes, he would always feel something for her and would treasure those memories with care. Yet, he can’t say he’s sad and broken.
All his past relationships ended in heartbreak because his partners felt like a third wheel in their own relationships. And they had every right to break up with him. For all he knew, Calum just jumped into those relationships to get over you or to distract himself into loving another person that wasn’t you, all for nothing. Yet this relationship seemed like the real deal, the one that could actually sweep him off his feet and take his mind off of you, truly making him feel alive. And it worked until it didn’t. Until she called things off saying
“I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s you, but this is not working. We haven’t been working for a while now, have we?”
All he could do was agree and let her go. He loved her enough to do that without a fight. Or didn’t love her as he should. And maybe all she wanted was for him to fight for them, guess he let themselves down on that one. But if all these break-ups had something in common, is that you would always be there by his side to cheer him up.
“She deserves someone that can provide her with what she needs,” He said as you both sit with face masks and two glasses of wine filled to the brim “I guess it was not meant to be me”
“I’m sorry, Cal” You gave him a small, apologetic smile, while your hand went to his shoulder and squeezed it. His hand soon fell on top of yours “I’m proud of your decision, though, you and hers. It’s not healthy to be hung up in a relationship that’s just not going anywhere”
“Yeah, I know” He sighed, hiding the small smile that popped up when you didn’t retrieve your hand from his “It’s not like I’m heartbroken or anything, it’s just- I guess I’m just frustrated that we couldn’t make it work. None of my relationships seem to last because of that”
“Well, have you wondered why?” You sat up with interest, turning toward him and moving your hand to his thigh. Something completely innocent on your part, but that still made Calum’s heart beat a little bit faster.
“Of course I have”
“So what is keeping you from going after what you want in a relationship? Is it a previous heartbreak?”
“No… I don’t think I had one of those before” He said like a liar.
He knew that his heart was in perpetual mourning because of you, he was just too proud to admit it. All his past attempts at love were only meant to get over you and forget about the person you were currently hung up with.
Whenever you would tell him about a date or a new partner he’d made sure he’d have another story for you. Some of them made up on the spot, some taking inspiration from one of his friend’s dates, some of them real but without the same, genuine excitement you showed for your love life. A love life that didn’t include him.
Unconsciously, he made it a competition. Did you go on a date? He went on two. Did you kiss someone? He spent the night in another bed. All just so you could give him some type of reaction. Any indication that you were mad or uncomfortable about it. About him dating someone that isn't you. But every time you were supportive, feeling happy for him, and even encouraging him to call girls he didn’t even want to know more than just a one-night stand.
Calum only ever wanted for you to feel like he feels whenever he has to hear about the new guy that brought you flowers; the one that took you on a spontaneous trip to the Grand Canyon; or the one that cooked you a homemade meal for your first date. All the things that were killing him, he hoped you could feel at least a small amount of it. Waiting for you to realize it sooner rather than later.
“What?” You chuckled, nudging him with your elbow “The great Calum Hood never had his heart broken, he just breaks all the hearts along the way”
He laughed, pushing you slightly “Not all the hearts”
“Oh yeah, the other ones are Ashton’s job”
Calum just shook his head, quieting the voice in his head telling him that he didn’t break all the hearts because he was not going to break yours if given the chance to have it.
“Laugh all you want, you little gremlin,” He said
“Aww, Cal, I’m sorry” You pouted “I didn’t mean to upset you. I just really want you to be happy, you know? Find your person and all of that”
“I am happy, Y/N” He stated matter-of-factly “I have the band, the fans, Duke… I have you”
“I know, and I’m also so happy to have you” You smiled, lacing your fingers with his “But I’m talking about “the one”. You know, the one that makes your heart go crazy and the world spin around slower. The one that occupies your mind and every time you think about them you can’t help but smile. Someone that you can actually fall in love with. I’m not talking about marriage or things that we don’t believe in most of the time. But the one that makes the heartbreaks and disappointments all worth it because it led you to them”
Calum stared at you with an unreadable look in his eyes. How could you describe exactly what he was feeling but still have no idea that he has those feelings for you?
It has been a long time since he accepted you as being more than friends, or at least in his heart he knows you could be more. You were just perfect in every way, made just for him. And he loves you, he loves you so much without a hint of fear or doubt. But you just can’t see it.
“Maybe there is someone…” He mumbled, ready to spill his heart out to you on a silver platter.
But before you could register his words, your phone started ringing.
“Shit, wait a second,” You said, grabbing your phone from the table. Calum saw the small smile that formed on your lips before you declined the call “Sorry, what did you say?”
“Y/N, I-” He started again, and once again your phone interrupted him. He sighed “You should get that”
“What?” You asked, already silencing the phone again “No, it’s nothing, I promise”
“Who is it, though?”
“Oh, it’s just Matt”
“Matt?”
“Yeah, I told you about him, remember?” And he wished he didn’t.
You told him you were going on a date with someone called Matt a couple of weeks ago. He didn’t know you were still talking, let alone that you moved on to the “call” phase of the relationship. And now he couldn’t help but notice the gleam in your eyes when you said his name, a gleam that he knew would never be reserved for him.
“I forgot to tell him that he needn’t call me tonight” You sighed, already texting him. Calum could see the disappointment in your eyes.
“You should call him”
“What? No, Cal, I’m here for you and nothing is going to change that”
“I know, and thank you for that,” He said, faking his smile as much as he could “But I know you, and I know you want to call him so go ahead. I don’t mind”
You sighed “Thanks, babe. I’m just going to tell him tonight is off limits, it’ll take five minutes and then I’m all yours”
Oh and how it hurt him hearing you laugh from the kitchen as those five minutes went on. You sounded so happy and full of joy… he couldn’t take that from you now and, plus, would you even believe him?
Matt… what does he have that Calum doesn’t? Apparently, all the necessary to make you come back all giddy and blushing.
And when you sat up next to him and changed the topic back to Calum, his glass was already half empty.
*
“Hey, mate” Calum heard after the door slid open. Ashton soon stood next to him “Ready to go back in there?”
“Would Michael miss me if I don’t sing happy birthday to him?”
“You will break his heart” Ashton chuckled, trying to make him laugh as well but to no avail “You can’t avoid her forever, you know? She’s starting to notice”
“Well about fucking time” Calum spat, throwing the last of his cigarette to the floor.
Ashton sighed “Cal, c’mon… It’s not fair on her”
“It’s not fair to me either! What do you think, Ash? Do you think it’s funny for me to see her with him? To know every fucking detail of her happy life with Matt as if it didn’t kill me inside? It’s been years! Years where I have been so fucking close to telling her how I feel but there’s always him in the middle!”
He wasn’t crying, and he would not cry either. But he stopped hiding the rage he felt as his true feelings came spilling out of his mouth like a fountain of truth. He’d never said any of this out loud but now it seemed impossible to stop it.
“I’m just so fucking tired of seeing her with him. Seeing her kissing him, holding his hand, going on dates… All the things I should be doing with her”
“Cal…”
“No, fuck it! It’s true! It should be me! It always should’ve been me” His voice broke a little in the end “I should be the one in his place. I should’ve told her everything that night years ago, then I could be the one sitting on the couch with her, laughing and sharing those touches she thinks no one sees. But I do. All the fucking time those moments play on a loop inside my head and it’s making me want to scream. She’s the first girl I ever loved, the one that breaks my heart every single day because I keep letting her. She’s the one that’s making me feel like this without her knowing and it’s not fair! I could go in there right now and tell her how I feel but that won’t change a thing! She’ll still choose him! But I loved her first, Ash. I loved her first!”
Suddenly, all the air in his lungs was being crushed as Ashton brought him closer for a bone-wrenching hug.
For the first time that night, Calum relaxed. He let his body fall against Ashton’s frame as he hugged him back, hiding his face in his neck as the high of his confession wore off.
“I know it hurts,” Ashton said, lowly “But you can’t keep doing this to yourself, Cal”
“I know,” He sighed, pulling himself from the hug and patting Ashton’s arms “I don’t want to feel this way but I just can’t- I can’t let her go”
“Then try. You love her, do that for her”
“But what if-”
“If she feels the same and realizes that someday, then she’ll come to you. Don’t keep on waiting for an “if” Cal, you deserve more than that and so does Y/N”
Calum sighed and nodded, shaking his head a minute later from the overload of feelings. It wasn’t normal for him to snap like that, but it has been years since he kept it all in. It was bound to come out sooner or later, but he’d hope for a better outcome.
“Knock-knock!” Someone said behind them “Am I interrupting something?”
The two of them turn around to find you standing at the door, smiling at them as if nothing happened.
Immediately Calum started to panic, fearing that you’d heard everything. He said he hated your boyfriend, that he wishes he’d take his place, that he loved you… And you might’ve heard all of it while he was on a rant.
“H-hey, Y/N! Not at all, what’s up?” Ashton played the calm one, giving Calum time to freak out internally.
You were still smiling at them as you pointed back inside “We’re about to sing happy birthday, didn’t think you wanted to miss out”
You were acting so calm, with a big, kind smile on your face. Maybe you didn’t hear anything and just watched them hug awkwardly for a minute there. Calum could only hope. But then you smiled at him and nudged your head toward the party, and all he could do was breathe out and smile back, calming his nerves a little bit.
The three of you went back inside, quickly surrounding Michael as Luke brought out the cake and you all started to sing.
Calum looked back at you, standing next to Matt and leaning your head on his shoulder as your hands laced together. You looked briefly at your boyfriend and smiled, looking as happy as ever.
“Happy birthday dear Michael…”
And then it happened. For just one moment you looked back at Calum when he was already looking at you and his heart stopped.
You gave him a small, sad smile and shook your head no.
“Happy birthday to you!”
And all his hopes went away with the blow of the candles. * * tags: @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @mystic-232 @talksoprettyjjx @theshyspy @hoodhoran @hoodharlow @littledrummeraussie @bubblegum183 @irwin-fletcher-ash @wiiildflowerrr @in-a-world-of-fandoms @another-lonely-heart @aabc5sauce @in-superbloom @sadcupofcoffee @personalmuyverypersonal @himbohood @sofiaaraee @irwindoll @weasleytwinscumslut @fairytrice @colourfulcal @nibin0912 @hfkait @savagejane1 @youneedtocalumdown @heyitskelseaj @ashtonsunflower @nicebasscalum @calumspupils @secretsicanthideanymore @alltimesos @wontlastimokwiththat @whywontyoulovemecami @theimpossiblehologramtree @perriexed @abiancajg @rewmuslupin @icelily13 @bookthingz @gracieboogirl @fastandtheformula1 @fckingpernico @multistann @averageantichrist @a-darneddarling @plaidshirtyears @ihavenoideawhattodowithyou @bittersweetb4by @aria-grace-scott @thestarsandtheircoffee @bvbygxrl @luisa180206 @xxxlaura @iamdayanaz @flyingburrito123 @drugerlime
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calumance · 1 year
Note
we’ve already established how logan doesn’t get much attention because he’s a middle child, so how about he gets suspended or something for fighting a kid who was picking on him and they all get into a blowout fight at home and logan says something like “you never cared before so i don’t see why it’s a big deal” or whatever you think is best and it kinda shocks cal into realizing like yeah i really haven’t been super present with him and then you can take it from there
Teenage angst is my absolute favorite thing. Especially when it comes to my little Logan. Enjoy!!
            Calum had been working in the studio when his wife busted through the door, surprising the absolute shit out of him. Quickly, he took off his headphones and questioned her silently. “Logan got suspended.”
            “I’m sorry?” Did he hear that correctly? It was only three weeks into the school year. It was the first year that Logan and Aiden were not in the same school. Aiden had graduated in May and was preparing to move up state for college. “He got, what?”
            “Suspended, we have to go pick him up.” Calum was still in shock, she was moving, but he wasn’t, “Now, Calum.” She said sternly, bringing him out of his thoughts.
            They didn’t talk their entire way to the school, or while they walked into the school, or while they were directed into the office where they found Logan sitting. Logan was sitting with his arms crossed against his chest, and he was looking away from his parents. The principle gestured for them to take a seat, and they obliged.
            “Thank you for coming on such short notice, Logan is being suspended for a week due to fighting with another student, but do not fret, both students have been suspended.” The principle laced his fingers together over his desk and smiled a closed lipped smile.
            That was absolutely the least of their concerns, fighting? Fighting about what? “I’m sorry, there was a fight? Like physical?” She asked while looking at Logan who continued to ignore both of his parents.
            The principle nodded, “Yes ma’am, it seems Logan got into a little bit of a tussle with another student today at lunch causing quite a stir in the lunch room. No one was hurt, but it caused quite the disruption so I think it is best to suspend both of them so they can calm down for a bit.” That’s where the conversation died. It was a silent agreement to keep Logan at home until next week.
            It was a silent drive home, it was almost eerie, that was until Calum decided to speak up when they got home. “Logan, what happened? Tell us your side of the story so we can understand.” That was the best thing he could’ve said. Could he have said it a bit softer, maybe, but he was confused and angry, so it came out harsher than intended.
            Logan tossed his backpack onto the floor and shrugged, “Didn’t the principle already cover that?” His back continued to be towards his parents.
            Calum looked at his wife for support, “Logan, we’re not mad, we’re just trying to figure out what’s going on, you’ve never acted like this, you’ve never gotten into trouble, so why now?” She took a step forward, reaching a hand out to her son.
            Logan spinning like a flash of lightning caused her to recoil, “You guys never cared before this, why should this be any different?” Again, he turned, but in the other direction and ran up the stairs to his room. Both Calum and his wife flinched when the door slammed shut.
            Hours passed, it had been almost silent in the house, aside from the occasional ‘what do you think happened?’ usually followed by a shrug from the other person. After another few moments of silence passed, they locked eyes and with a silent agreement, they made their way up the stairs towards to closed door.
            Silently, they argued over who was going to knock, Calum ended up being the one to knock after his wife pushed him into the door. He grimaced at her as he knocked a few more times after his noisy first announcement. There was a quiet voice on the other side of the door inviting both of them into the room.
            When they made it inside, Logan was slumped in his chair, a video game chaotically playing on the TV in front of him. Calum looked back at his wife and she nudged him forward and his cleared his throat before approaching his son. “Can you please tell us what happened today? Your mom and I are worried about you.”
            Logan scoffed and without tearing his eyes off the TV in front of him answered, “Why would you be worried? You’re barely home, it’s been like that since I was a kid.”
            It was at that moment that Calum and his wife looked at each other like they completely understood everything that was happening. Calum grabbed another chair and sat next to his son, “Aiden told us a few years ago that there were kids picking on you, were these same kids the ones that caused todays fight?” Logan aggressively pressed the buttons on his controller and Calum took that as a ‘yes.’ Calum sighed, he knew exactly what was happening. “Aiden wasn’t there to protect you, I’ve never been there to protect you, you think that no one cares about you.”
            Logan’s face visually dropped for a split second before he intently went back to his video game. Calum stood up and grabbed his wife’s shoulders, “Go downstairs, I’ve got this.” His kissed her cheek and shooed her away before turning back to Logan. Logan’s eyes darted towards his dads before he pretended that all of his attention was on the video game. “Do you remember the weekend Aiden went on the trip with your mom for school? It was before Bailey was born, before we even knew Bailey was going to happen.”
            Logan looked at Calum and pulled his eyebrows together, “Yeah, what about it?”
            Honestly, Calum couldn’t believe he remembered, it was nearly a decade ago, but at the same time, if Logan was dealing with Calum being gone then, then he’s still dealing with it now. “You felt the same way back then as you do now, and you were 5.” Logan paused long enough for his character to die in the game. Calum smirked before taking a seat next to him again. “You asked me then why I couldn’t stay home, and I told you that to take care of you and mama and Aiden, I had to be gone for work, do you still understand that?” Logan’s swallowed and Calum continued, “I know that being the middle child isn’t easy, it makes you feel like no one cares about you because suddenly everyone’s attention is on the baby, or whatever else, but, Logan, we still love you.” Again, his character in the game died. “I’m sorry it’s been rough without Aiden, maybe your mom and I can get you transferred to a different school.”
            “No,” Logan’s protest startled Calum, his head snapping towards his son, “I mean, it wouldn’t be the worst thing to happen. I am still getting picked on, I didn’t think you guys knew about it, you never made a big deal out of it.” Logan slunked back into his chair.
            “Logan, we never made a big deal out of it because Aiden told us he had control over it. It’s our faults for assuming that this year would be different. What can we do to help?” Calum rung his hand together and looked at Logan who was already shaking his head.
            It took a few seconds after he stopped shaking his head to form his thoughts, “These kids at my school make fun of me for having a dad who travels for a living, they tell me I basically don’t have a dad since you’re never here,” Calum’s heart sunk, “And I know that’s not true, because I know how you take the time to call me or FaceTime me, or take a red eye flight to be here for my band concert, or whatever, but all these…” he paused, “…Fucktards…” he looked at Calum apologetically, but Calum allowed it, “…see, is that you’re not always here.” Logan took a breath, “What happened today was one kid went as far to say that mom was cheating on you because who could be left alone that long, but I see what mom does without you, she cooks us dinner, she wakes us up in the morning, she makes us breakfast and lunch and then goes to work. She works her ass off, dad, and I just couldn’t listen to some kid who knows absolutely nothing about us talk that badly about my mom, and you too!” Logan was getting passionate at this point, sitting forward and dropping the controller to his gaming console on the ground, “I didn’t mean to hit him, it just happened!”
            It was hard, but Calum controlled his laughter as he pulled Logan in for the tightest hug he could’ve given the kid. “You’re not in trouble, you did the right thing, you stood up for your mom and that’s all that matters.” Logan nodded into Calum’s shoulder, “Why don’t you go downstairs and give your mom a hug and tell her you love and appreciate her?” There was little to no hesitation before Logan stood up and made his way out of the room. Calum sat back and ran his hands through his hair, proud of his son, and the kid he was becoming. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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hoodharlow · 2 years
Text
Nico’s Berry First Birthday
part 1
AN: idk what to say lol. This was supposed to be posted MONTHS ago and I never did lol. Gif from @calmfolklore from this gifset
Requested? No
Warnings: sad dad!Cal and mentions of abandonment, Mitchy Collins ruining our baby's birthday
Word Count: 3.1k words
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“Nico, c’mon, go with grandma I’m not going to be long.” Calum said, trying to pry off his now one year old daughter. 
But she wouldn’t budge. She tightened her grip around his neck, nearly choking him. He tried everything, even tickling her. But that only annoyed her, and the last thing he wanted to do was get her upset on her birthday. On the other hand he didn’t want to bring her to the interviews he had to do. One thing he learned from last week’s promo was that even Nico can get annoyed with watching Encanto ten times in a row. He also doesn’t want Nico anywhere near James Cordon because he knew that James would annoy his kid and ruin her mood for the rest of the day. 
“Bring the little demon, we’re already late.” Ashton called from the driveway gate.
“Ah!” Nico frowned when she heard Ashton call her a demon. She leaned over and smacked the top of his head.
Calum rolled his eyes. “Shit like that is why she doesn’t like you mate.” He told Ashton as he unlocked the car to get Nico in. He buckled her in and whispered to her, “You know he doesn’t mean it.”
The one year old looked up at the sun roof, annoyed. It was her version of rolling her eyes since she hadn’t mastered her eye rolls yet. For Calum’s sake he hoped she didn’t until she was at least fifty. 
He turned to his mom. “We’ll be back in a few. Think you can hold down the fort?” He asked her. 
“Of course, darlin'." Joy said.
“I left a list of all the people that are gonna come by. If anything happens or something gets mixed up just call me. I also left—”
“Just go. We’ll be fine.” 
Calum nodded and gave Joy a side hug. He rounded over to the driver’s side. He opened the gate and back out of the gate. He waved to his mom as he followed Micheal’s car to James’ studio. They lucked out and were able to push back recording because the guests had something else to do in the evening.
For which Calum was grateful because after the band’s appearance, they had to do another interview, and after that interview he had to rush home to get him and Nico ready for her birthday party. Though he silently cursed at the band’s management for getting them interviews on Nico’s birthday.
A familiar olive green Jeep was parked in the studio. 
It was Alexis Ximena’s. 
Calum rested his head on the steering wheel when he parked next to Michael. He wasn’t ready to see her. Last night ended on an awkward note. When they decided to take things to her bedroom, they didn’t go as far as they hoped. Dr. Manny walked in on them while Calum’s face was buried in between Alexis Ximena’s thighs. It was the most awkward moment of his life. And to make matters worse Dr. Manny was carrying Nico. Not only did his daughter’s pediatrician see him doing things with HIS daughter, but Calum managed to traumatize his own daughter.
Ashton knocked on his window, making him look up. He tapped his wrist, as if he had a watch, motioning Calum to hurry up. Calum flipped him off and begrudgingly got out of the car. He unbuckled Nico and handed her to Ashton, so he could get her things from the trunk. 
They both shared an uncomfortable look, but Nico allowed Ashton to hold her. They watched Calum grab the stroller and place everything the one year old could need, stuffing it in the bottom basket of the stroller. Ashton passed Nico back to him so he could buckle her in her stroller. 
He draped her blanket over the stroller, blocking the bright sun for Nico. He pushed the stroller and followed Ashton where Michael and Luke were. A backstage crew member approached them and guided them to their greenroom. 
Calum had never been so happy to see goldfish snacks. He grabbed all of the packets and some of the snacks provided and stuffed them in Nico’s backpack because he didn’t pack any for her since she was supposed to stay with his parents and Mali. He also grabbed a few water bottles in case she got thirsty. 
He unfastened Nico from her stroller and sat her down next to him. He dug in her backpack, thankful that he had packed her an extra pair of shoes because they left without putting on shoes on her. He pulled out a pair of white Nike Cortez with a pink swish that matched her pink Nike tracksuit. 
“You have some fucking nerve showing you’re face here.” Calum heard Michael say.
He looked over his shoulder and found Alexis Ximena standing at the entrance wide eyed and confused. 
“What did I do?” She asked, surprised.
“You were in The Batman!” Michael exclaimed. 
“I never said I wasn’t.”
“But you never said you were.”
Alexis Ximena rolled her eyes and pushed past him, making her way to Nico. The one year excitedly made grabby hands at her. Alexis Ximena picked her up and kissed her cheeks. 
“Happy birthday!” she sang to her. She turned to Calum. “Why is your daughter dressed like Ruth Rose?”
“Who?” He asked, taking Nico back in his arms because she took her shoe off. 
“From the ‘A-Z Mysteries’, she’s one of the main characters and she always wore monochromatic outfits.”  she explained. 
Calum furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not knowing what she was talking about.
“Forget it.” she waved him off. She looked down at Nico and giggled. “She took her other shoe off.”
Calum shook his head, “you’ve got to be shitting me Nico.”
*
By 2pm, Nico’s party was in full swing. Calum felt proud that the party came out pretty nicely. He had gone all out with strawberry decorations as it was Nico’s favorite fruit. From strawberry balloon arches to strawberry based desserts. There was a taquero stationed next to the makeshift bar and dessert table. Michael was in the backyard manning the DJ booth playing various genres of kids songs. 
“No,” Calum told Nico sternly, pushing the fresas con crema out of her reach. 
The one year old frowned. Nico bent sideways trying to get off her high chair. But she couldn’t. Out of anger, she leaned forward and swiped the plate of tacos Calum got for them to share on the ground. She clapped happily when Duke trotted over and ate the food. She stopped then looked at him, making pleading eyes and gesturing to the cup of fresas con crema.
"No." He repeated. He got up from the stool next to her and went to grab a beer.
"Has she eaten?" Joy asked him as she fixed the gift table when he passed her.
"No," he sighed. "She's being a little shit."
"Take one to know one, darling." She said nonchalantly.
"Oi!" He blinked at her, surprised at her comment.
"When you were her age all you wanted to eat was fairy bread and Tiny Teddies." 
"Well you did make the best fairy bread." 
“I’m aware.” She smiled proudly. She looked around, making sure no one was close. 
Calum knew that look. She was about to have a serious talk with him or she was going to interrogate him about something Mali told her. 
Her smile softened,“Mali mentioned Alexis was coming.”
Calum blinked in surprise, remembering when Aaliyah introduced them almost two years ago when they were at FireFight Australia. “You remember Alex?” 
“Of course I do. She’s a nice girl. She was in Sydney a few months back and I ran into her and she invited me to lunch. So how serious is it?"
The doorbell rang before he could answer her.
"I'll get it." He announced, rushing over to the front door.
Calum got nervous hoping it was Alexis Ximena. He walked inside and did a quick u-turn to the kitchen and took the fresas con crema cup away in case Nico tried to make someone give her the cup. He quickly checked himself in the mirror by the front door. He smiled brightly when he opened the door but quickly dropped his smile when he saw it was just Ashton and Marina.
"Oh it's you." He said, stepping aside to let them in.
"Hello to you too." Ashton grumbled. 
"Where's the birthday girl?" Marina asked Calum. 
"In the kitchen." he answered
He took the present Marina had in her hand and led her and Ashton to the kitchen. Nico sat sadly on her high chair, but she smiled brightly at Marina. She made grabby hands at her.
“Hi birthday girl.” Marina said softly. She approached Nico and let her touch her growing belly. She giggled when Nico’s eyes widened when the baby kicked her hand. “The baby says happy birthday too.”
He eyed Marina's belly and felt nauseous. It was a reminder of what he missed. It was a part of Nico that he never got to see or experience since he never saw Loli pregnant. He never got to see Nico through the ultrasound or hear her heartbeat or feel her kick Loli's belly. It was almost a whole year that he missed. Part of him wished he could turn back time and be there for Loli, for his daughter, but it was impossible. At least he got to see her now and he wouldn't give that up.
Calum wandered out to the yard and got more food before joining his parents, Mali, Luke, and Elijah were. He fell into conversation, nodding along to whatever they were talking about while he ate. He would look over to the kitchen where Marina had. 
"¡Feliz Cumple!" He heard Alexis Ximena tell Nico. 
Before he could even turn around to head back inside, Luke pushed past him. He rolled his eyes as his best friend went over to greet Aaliyah's family as if he was the host of the party. He awkwardly waited for Luke to finish greeting Aaliyah’s family when he heard Nico’s giggles. He looked behind him and saw Alexis Ximena showing her a stuffed crocodile. 
Nico kicked her feet excitedly as Alexis Ximena made the stuffed crocodile dance on the table of Nico’s high chair. Calum blinked in surprise hearing her speak a nearly perfect Australian accent as she talked to Nico. He smiled to himself when his one year old took the stuffed crocodile and hugged it tightly. 
“Ah!” Nico motioned to Alexis Ximena to give her the cup of fresas con crema.
“No, Nico.” Calum said, grabbing the cup. “You haven’t eaten.”
Nico frowned and pushed the crocodile on the ground.
“Nico!” he said sternly, but in a hush tone so he wouldn’t draw attention to them. 
Alexis Ximena picked up the stuffed crocodile and handed it back to Nico. She stood up giving Calum a chance to take her in. She was obviously overdressed, dressed to the nines in a short black dress and tall platform heels. She had a good three inches on him in those heels. 
“Why is she dressed like Strawberry Shortcake?” She asked him, gesturing to Nico who babbled to her crocodile.
“She’s not dressed like cake?”
“No,” she shook her head. “The cartoon.”
“There’s a cartoon about cake?”
“No menso, hold on.” She pulled out her phone and quickly typed. “You have the worst wi—oh it loaded. Here.” She showed him her phone screen.
There were images of a cartoon little girl dressed in a strawberry hat, denim overalls with a striped pink and white long sleeve under and yellow shoes. Calum looked over to Nico and she wore almost the same thing except, “Nico’s wearing a bucket hat and a denim dress. Not to mention, she has gold Vans. Obviously it’s not the same. Maybe they copied Nico.”
“The show came out in 2003.”
“Oh, good to know they support the LGBTQ community.” 
“You’re a fucking smart ass. You and that mouth of yours are a deadly weapon.”
“You would know.” Calum smirked at her.
Clearly flustered, Alexis Ximena announced. “I’m going to get food.”
She turned on her heel almost immediately and went out into the backyard to get in line for food. After she went up where Aaliyah was and greeted Fiona and Marina. They all looked at her with knowing grins.
“What?”
“What?” the three said in unison. 
“What was that back there?” Fiona asked, wiggling her eyebrows. 
“Where’s Ethan? You usually use him as an excuse to hang out with Michael.” Alexis Ximena smiled innocently. 
“Isn’t that what you did with Nico?” Marina asked before dipping her taco in consomé.
Alexis Ximena turned to Aaliyah. “You told them?!”
“Of course I did.” Aaliyah said “Now don’t say anything about sitting on Cal’s face because your future mother in law is walking over.”
“I wasn’t si— Hi Mrs. Hood!”
***
Calum looked around for Alexis Ximena. He overheard Aaliyah tell Luke that she had a work dinner and he hoped that he hadn’t missed her before she left. He was also keeping an eye on Mitchy, who showed up tipsy and crashed Nico’s birthday party. 
To say that Mitchy was Nico’s least favorite person was an understatement. The one year old would rather spend the day getting shots than be near him which was why Calum didn’t invite him to the party. 
“You didn’t bring Nico a present.” Calum heard Ethan tell Mitchy.
“And what are you the fucking present police?” The grown man snapped at Ethan as he grabbed a beer from the cooler. 
“Butthead.” Ethan muttered before grabbing a juicebox.
Calum sighed and walked over to Mitchy. “Mate, you can’t talk to a kid like that.”
“He’s a fucking dick!”
“He’s two!” He snapped, swiping his face in frustration. “This is why I didn’t invite you. You’re ruining my kid’s party. Nico doesn’t even like you.”
“What are you talking about? Nora likes me. Just watch,” Mitchy walked over to Alexis Ximena who was building a puzzle with Nico. “Ayo Nora!”
Mitchy staggered towards them with Calum calling him to stop. He pulled Nico away from Alexis Ximena and tried to pick her up, but he stumbled and fell, nearly falling on top of the one year old. 
Calum couldn’t process anything other than Nico’s arms around his legs. She wailed. He picked her up, “Get him out of my fucking house.” he angrily told Luke and Ashton before ducking inside.
He brought them to the living room and sat on the one person couch. He rubbed Nico’s back, trying to calm her down as she cried inconsolably. He held her close, apologizing for not kicking Mitchy out sooner. He heard footsteps approaching them. 
“Cal, I’m so sorry.” Alexis Ximena began sitting on the coffee table across from them. “I was caught off guard and next thing I knew that guy was on the ground and Nico ran to you. I should have been more vigilant. This is my—”
“Alex, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Calum said, wiping a few stray tears off Nico’s cheeks. He maneuvered her so she sat facing Alexis Ximena. 
“I guess but I really do feel bad. I should have been quicker or… I don’t know. I could have done something.” 
“You should have picked up a tree and swung it at him like in that show where you had a little brother who did that.”
“You watched Gone?”
“Yeah a while ago Aaliyah made us watch it. But Nico saw a banner of it and recognized you when I was looking for Sesame Street on HBO Max. So we started watching it.”
“Sure,” Alexis Ximena nodded, playfully rolling her eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked around them. “Where’s Nico?”
Calum cursed and jumped from the couch. Nico’s giggles and Duke’s yips were heard from the study. Him and Alexis Ximena followed the sound and found Nico waddling toward Duke, who was behind the doggy door. She giggled and clapped her hands. 
Calum’s hand found Alexis Ximena’s. “She’s walking.” He whispered, almost laughing. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. “My baby is walking.”
Due to their height difference, Alexis Ximena couldn't lean into him, but Calum wrapped his arm around her back as she placed her arm over his shoulders. They stood quietly watching Nico with Duke, but they were soon interrupted by Alexis Ximena’s phone. 
“Shit” she said, pulling away from him to rummage through her bag. She pulled it out and answered. 
Nico finally realized it wasn’t just her and Duke, so she motioned Calum to play with them. He sat down next to the door frame and reached for a soft ball for her to toss to Duke. 
Calum watched Alexis Ximena pace around with an annoyed expression on her face as she listened to whoever was on the other end. She bid them goodbye and sighed frustratedly, shoving her phone back in her bag. 
“Everything alright?” Calum asked, handing the ball to Nico, who went to hand it to Alexis Ximena. 
“My realtor just called me to say that none of the places I was looking into allowed dogs. If they did, they would have to weigh less than forty pounds. Bernie weighs one-fifteen.” She said, sitting next to him. 
“You know I was joking yesterday when I teased you about living with Dr. Manny.”
“I know, I’ve been looking for a place for a while now. Especially with now that Bernie is huge. We don’t fit with my dad. So I'm looking for a place so me and Aaliyah can finally live together like we planned our senior year when I booked ‘Gone.’” 
“Or you could move in with us.” He offered. “Our dogs get along, my house is pretty big so you wouldn’t have to worry about Bernie feeling like he has no space.”
“I can’t accept,” she said, shaking her head. “Nico’s grandparents live next door. What would they think about someone that’s not their daughter around their granddaughter.”
“Me letting them near Nico is just a courtesy. Legally speaking, they’re not her grandparents.”
“What do you mean?”
“When Loli dropped off Nico, she signed off any right she had, including her parents claiming her as their grandkid. But I’m not an arsehole, so I let her parents see Nico. Sometimes they watch her when I go run an errand, but Loli is completely out of the picture, especially after what went down a few months back.”
“Oh…”
“So you have nothing to worry about.”
Alexis Ximena nodded. She sat quietly and watched Nico and Calum. She did like spending time with them. Yesterday gave her hope for her and Calum, but she knew better than to get her hopes up. Even more if she was going to live with them. 
“Fine, but I’m going to need two rooms.”
“Why two?”
“Where do you think my clothes and shoes are gonna go?”
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bartxnhood · 26 days
Text
talk fast | c.t.h
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calum hood x fem!reader
summary: you both agreed to no strings attached, right?
warnings: oh boy tons of drinking (sorry), smoking, language, brief mentions of sexual activity (nothing explicit), and sexual innuendos.
w/c: 13k
a/n: hi my loves !! this one is a long time coming, i’ve been working on this since september. i started school in november which put a halt on all of my writing, but now that i graduated expect more from me. :). to all of my calum lovers, this one’s for you. p.s: if this does as well as i hope it does, i may consider making this a series on wattpad.
a/n pt.2: shout out everyone who helped my write this. esp @valentiyne you guys are amazing. 🩷
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2024 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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you weren't a stranger to relationships, and you'd had your fair share of them over the years. which you were aware that everyone else did, but you weren’t really serious about relationships. you didn't want to be with someone who didn't envision a future with you or who didn't share your goals.
your friends often told you that you should let loose and enjoy yourself, but that was not the life for you.
you had been in a very healthy relationship with someone you had known since college for the past few years. however, as time went, he became increasingly open about his needs for different things and eventually ended his relationship with you.
you went into a deep depression after the breakup, you didn't leave your apartment for weeks, you only showered maybe twice, and you couldn't remember the last time you ate anything other than instant noodles or ice cream.
what else could you do while you were wasting away? you had imagined spending the rest of your life with him, and now he’s gone.
your life seemed to change overnight.
while your friends and family around tried being there for you, you had pushed them so far away that they had just decided to give up on you. except, your best friend, olivia, finally dragged you out of your bed and forced you to shower so you could go out for the night with her.
“you need to get out, have fun, and forget about that jerk” she states, standing above you as she glides eyeliner on your eyes. “you’re hot, you’re fun, you have a great personality. i’m sure we can find you someone tonight!” she adds while finishing your makeup.
“olivia…” you sigh then look into the mirror, watching as your friend painted your face with a determined look in her eye. “no. we’re gonna have fun, we’re gonna party and get drunk. kay? you need this.” she grins, resting her head on your shoulder looking at you in the mirror. “now, go change into the outfit i brought you.”
"where are we going, anyway?" you ask, pulling at your skirt, which was riding up as you moved. you loved olivia, but some of her dress choices made you uncomfortable. "my brother got us into the pre-release party for the band five seconds of summer," she adds, gazing down at her phone for directions to the club, a hole in the wall on broadway. "what?!" you exclaim, your eyes widening. "how did he do that?" olivia laughs and clasps her arm around yours. "well, when you have a brother who manages a band, you kinda get vip treatment," she spoke with a grin. "plus, I told him how you've been feeling down, so he talked to the guys and they said it was fine," she chuckled softly, as the two of you continued your journey to the club.
the entry to the club was immediately visible due to the brilliant pink, purple, and red lights illuminating the street, as well as record posters in the windows. "this has to be it," olivia says as she opens the door for you, walking in after.
this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so you should be excited, right? but you couldn't shake the nagging guilt on the inside.
it’s okay to move on, right?
olivia leads you to the bar and orders a couple shots, "to your drop dead ex and a new beginning!" olivia cheers, toasting the glasses and the two of you downing the liquor.
you were about to start speaking when you were interrupted by olivia's brother, mark.
"it's been a long time, y/n!" he welcomes you with a shout. “how’s it going?” he asks, you see olivia roll her eyes and turn to her brother. “mark, we were having a conversation.” she states matter of a factly.
"i know, but I just wanted to introduce you to some of my buddies," the tall ginger says, stepping to the side and revealing four taller men. mark introduces them, "this is luke." he had blond curly hair, ocean blue eyes, and a white button-down shirt with the top button undone.
"michael," he said, his pink hair slicked to the side, a black snapback on, with a small wave of his hand in greeting. "ashton.” he had curly hair like luke, but it was fashioned in a 60’s greaser type of way, he smiled at you warmly, extending his hand for you to shake, the two of you nodding in acknowledgment of the other. "last- but not least, calum."
your gaze met his brown eyes, his chocolate curls resting just above his eyes as he looked you in the eyes. he was dressed in a white button-down shirt with black stripes that complemented his tanned and tattooed skin. he softly whispered "hi" as he squeezed his lips together in a smile. you smile back and nod. "hi.” calum's gaze lingers longer than he would have preferred, but he couldn't help himself. no way, not with you dressed like that. the way the black skirt clung to your hips and the dark blue halter top left nothing for the imagination
“guys this is my sister, olivia, and her friend, y/n.” mark says, pointing to the two of you, bringing calum out of his daydream. “nice to meet you guys” you say, offering a warm smile and they all nod to you. “are you staying for the show?” ashton inquired, olivia nods. “of course we are! wouldn’t miss it for a thing.” she gently nudges your arm, you laugh softly and nod.
"great, can't wait for you all to hear the album," ashton says, as the other three nod in agreement. "well, I have to get them backstage, but I'll see you later, okay?" mark replies, and you and olivia nod as the group disappears into the busy room.
as the show began, olivia tugged you closer to the stage, two rows back. the lights dimmed and you heard a huge cheer from the audience as the four boys you had just met took the stage.
your gaze was drawn to calum, who seemed engrossed with the music. how he made it appear so easy while looking so nice. you kept an eye on him for the majority of the night, but your mind was elsewhere.
you had found your way to the bar after the show had concluded; it was a terrific show, as expected, but seeing the band live was a weird experience, and you just couldn't enjoy yourself given your circumstances.
you found yourself reminiscing on your relationship during songs like "lie to me" and "why won't you love me," wondering whether you would have said something different or been more open to him. maybe you’d still be together.
you finish the drink you ordered and search the crowd for your best friend, but when you can't find her, you return your attention to the empty glass in front of you watching it being filled.
"was our stage set really that bad?" when you hear a voice, you quickly look up to find the person who is speaking. "i saw you, you seemed unhappy," calum adds, leaning on the bar. you shook your head and let out a breathless laugh. "no, it was actually very good," you say with a smile.
calum's gaze lingered, he leaned forward. "but? you were definitely not having a good time." you shrug and allow the bartender to refill your drink. "well, i got dumped not too long ago." "so", you trail off, messing with the glass in your hand.
"just not in the mood for a party, i guess," you shrug, and you hear calum hum. he switches his weight from one leg to the other. "actually, you looked pretty hot on stage," you cover your mouth and widen your eyes. "oh my goodness...i." you can't help but giggle, "i'm so sorry," you shake your head, and then gulp the last of the drink in the hopes that it will provide you with some liquid courage.
"you think I'm ‘pretty hot’?" he asks, his brow furrowed and his tongue protruding from the inside of his cheek. "no..i.." you sigh, removing some of your hair from your face. calum chuckles "no, no. you said it, you think I'm hot," he says in a teasing manner, crossing his arms with a quirked eyebrow.
calum would be lying if he said he didn’t think you were attractive as well. he had been eyeing you all night and figured, why not have some fun?
“what are you doing after this?” he asks, stepping a tad closer to you. now, he was just a few inches from your side and you caught wind of his cologne. you look down at the empty glass again, wondering what you’d say. you knew what he meant, and you had never done anything of the sort.
“well that depends” you answer, looking up from the glass and letting your eyes meet his. “well, i was kinda hoping you’d want to leave here with me” calum suggests with a smirk. you smile, figuring you could let lose for one night. “sounds great.”
it was just one night..right?
your eyelids flutter open, and you immediately feel a piercing pain in your temple. you groan silently and look about until you realize you're not in your bedroom when you peek over your shoulder, you notice a figure.
he was facing you, on his side. his curls were brushed back, his lips were slightly parted, and his arm was resting on your waist.
"oh, shit.." you think as you sit up against his headboard, drawing the loose sheet closer to your chest. your mind is filled with images from the previous night. meeting him, and then their brief talk in the bar. you rubbed your temples, still reeling from what you'd done.
you had slept with calum hood.
you had to get out of there because you couldn't believe what you'd done. you were never the type to do something like that. you attempted to remove the sheet so you could hurry up and put on your clothes from the night before and go home. however, while you were doing so, calum's arm gently tugged on your waist. "stay.."
when you looked at him, his eyes were still closed. you didn't move, feeling frozen as your gaze landed on the arm that framed your waist. you couldnt lie, calum was very attractive.
eventually, you finally managed to break free from his touch, and you threw on your clothing while searching for your phone and handbag. you discreetly opened and closed the door, making your way through the house to the front entrance.
you come to a halt as you pick up your shoes, pondering whether or not to leave your phone number for him. but you tell yourself that you'll never see him again, opening the door and walking out.
you order a lift home and finally check at your phone's alerts. olivia left almost twenty messages and made thirty phone calls. you tell her you're okay and on your way home.
you opened your front door to find olivia racing towards you. "where the hell were you?!" she exclaims, her eyes wide open. you hush her with a "shh," dropping your shoes beside the door. "i texted and called you!" "i know, i know," you remark as you pass by her to your room. "you can't just leave like that!" she exclaims as she follows you.
"olivia.." you sigh and stand in your bathroom, removing the last of your makeup from the night before. "i'm sorry okay, i was drunk and he was right there in front of me." "who?" she asks as she leans against the doorway. "calum.."
there was radio silence for a split second before you glanced to olivia, who erupted. "you slept with calum hood!?!" she exclaims, lunging for your arm. "calum hood?!? the one from five seconds of summer?" you closed your eyes, your head still throbbing, and her ranting only made matters worse. "okay, yes? i was drunk, and he came up to me for a moment...and the following thing led to another..."
"you slept with calum!!!" the ginger laughs as she claps her hands and softly jumps up and down. "oh my god!! my y/n is getting some!" you groan, throwing away the makeup wipe while moving past her. "oh, god. ew!" you exclaim as you enter your bedroom in quest of your pajamas. "tell me everything!" she says as she sits on your bed. "uh..no.." you say as you begin to change.
"just...leave it, im not going to see him again," you say as you brush your hair after changing. "what?! didn't you leave your phone number or something?" "no, olivia, it was just one night," you shake your head. i don't plan to see him again, okay?" you reinstate by placing the brush on the dresser. "ugh, you're no fun!"
"you should be happy about this, you're one step closer to moving on from your asshole ex-boyfriend!" exclaims olivia. you take a step out of your bedroom, looking over your shoulder at your ginger friend. you smile sadly, "i don't think I'll ever be able to get over him."
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"we are going to be late!" olivia yells as she tugs you out of bed. "i don't want to go," you protest, but the ginger pushes you into the bathroom. "get yourself ready and meet me outside, okay?" she smiles and goes away.
you sighed as you stood in front of your mirror and went about your business. wash your face, then apply skincare, makeup, hair, and finally your clothes. this consisted of a cropped white shirt, a black skirt, and boots. for the nightlife scene, this was your typical go-to.
you grab a leather jacket and your money on your way out the door to meet with olivia. “great, you're done!" she grins and grabs your arm. "and looking as hot as ever," you sigh, "i wear this every time we go out, olivia. this isn't anything new." you explain, and the two of you start walking up to the bar. "yes, but being single looks good on you... you look happier." she beams. you shrug and continue going, laughing as you say, "whatever you say."
you two arrived at the bar, which was already quite crowded with people you knew, and said your 'hi's and 'hello's' as you walked through the crowd to reach your normal friend group. this was a birthday party for one of your mutual friends; you were invited because you knew a few people there, but you didn't intend to stay long. after only a few drinks, you were dipping.
"hey, i'm going to get a drink, do you want anything?" you ask olivia, who was in the midst of a conversation. "um, no, i'm good for now," the redhead responds softly. you nod and turn around, headed for the bar.
you take a seat on a bar stool and order your usual, then pull out your phone and scroll for a few minutes as you wait for your drink.
"fancy seeing you here," you hear from behind you. when you turn around, a familiar face greets you.
calum hood.
you gaze at him for a time, blinking slowly, wondering why the hell he was at this party in the first place. how did he know your friend group?
"what? like what you see?" he laughs and walks up to the stool next to you. you discreetly giggle, rolling your eyes as you notice your drink in front of you. "you're full of yourself, calum," you say as you sip your drink. "well, you weren't thinking that when you were in my bed a few nights ago, were you?" he says, lifting his eyebrows as he speaks, attempting to elicit a reaction from you.
"oh god.." you mutter. calum follows you as you push yourself off the stool and onto the club floor. "come on, I was joking." when you hear his remarks, you shake your head and spin around to tell him off, but you freeze when you realize how close he is.
calum gazed back at you, his chocolate eyes piercing into yours. the way his wavy hair fell just above his eyes. you couldn't think straight when he was wearing a tight-fitting black t-shirt that emphasized his muscles- or how nice he looked in those black plaid pants.
calum hood was fine, and he knew it.
"you're a jerk," you reply, eventually jerking out of your daydream. as he steps closer, you can smell the tequila dripping from his breath. "oh yeah?" you say, nodding, "yeah." "well, you won't be saying that when you're in my bed again."
as you stare into his eyes, your grasp on your cup tightens. you couldn't take your eyes off him.
"fuck you."
he takes pleasure in your reply and leans in, his face right up against yours, whispering, "maybe later, sweets." then calum walks away, leaving you on the dance floor.
you find yourself back with olivia and your group of friends, scarfing down the drink knowing you needed to be intoxicated for the night ahead of you.
"i saw that," she says, as the two of you sway to the music. "what?" you inquire, attempting to appear clueless. "calum hood, hitting on you!!" she rolls her eyes. she giggles and pokes at your side. "no, it was nothing," you promise, moving her arm away. "whatever you say," she sings.
while you were on the dance floor with your friends, you were pretty intoxicated, and you knew he was watching you. you tried to ignore the sense of his eyes burning holes in the back of your skull. he observed your hips swaying to the music and the way your hair layed against your skin. It was driving him crazy.
flashes of you in his bed, your skin gleaming with sweat, the softness of your lips against his, or the touch of your nails on his back that sent thrills down his spine.
normally, he would never return to someone with whom he had a one-night encounter, but he couldn't get enough of you. he hasn't stopped thinking about you since that night.
you'd had enough of his glances and decided it was time to face him.
"stop" you say as you approach him. he blinks and asks, "what?." you sigh and roll your eyes. "i know you're staring, stop it." calum laughs and sets his drink on the bar. "i don't know what you're talking about, pretty." you sigh and rub your temples. "don't act innocent, i saw you." you say. he shrugs and leans forward. "oh, I'll show you innocent"
"calum, we can't do this," you say, looking him in the eyes. “It was only once." you say, as if attempting to persuade yourself. "oh, yeah?" you cross your arms and nod. "because it seems you don't believe that." calum retorts, his hand coming to rest on your hip.
as he moves in closer, you catch the scent of his cologne combined with the booze on his breath, which sends a shudder down your spine. you see flashes of his figure hanging over you from a few nights before. you couldn't possibly lie to yourself because you think about it every day.
"i know you want me.. i see the way you look at me," he continues. "come on, let's have some fun." his thumb was tracing circles on the fabric of your skirt.
you look into his eyes, your stomach flipping. you didn't want to give in, you didn't want to become someone you weren't. but that was calum fucking hood, and you couldn't resist him when he looked at you like that. "fuck it," you state.
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you gaze at the sleeping figure beside you, his breathing calm and steady. you couldn't help but feel bad, so you told yourself you wouldn't hook up with him again. you told yourself you'd never see him again. he was a celebrity, and you were just a city dweller who happened to get caught up with him.
you lie there for a moment, admiring calum. how could someone look so lovely while sleeping? you yank the covers off your legs and frantically dress to leave him yet again.
you collect your shoes at the exit, stand for a moment debating whether or not to leave your number, but you decide not to because this is the last time you'll see him…
right?
from that night forward, you felt like the universe was messing with you because calum appeared to be at every party, club, or bar you went to. he'd approach you as if nothing was going to happen, as if he was teasing you in some way- but it always happened.
those nights, you'd always end up in his bed, never yours.
you couldn't help yourself; no matter how hard you tried to pretend you despised him, you couldn't keep the mask up because you always caved and went home with him.
it became a habit; you'd go out with friends or by yourself, secretly hoping calum would appear in some way.
some nights, you weren't even there to drink, just to be there.
it was the same thing every time: you'd pretend to despise him because a small part of you wanted a serious relationship yet couldn't get enough of him. he made you feel alive. your ex never made you feel that way. the only person who ever made you feel *loved* was calum. you both knew it was only for fun, but it made you wonder if it might ever turn into anything more. you were always silently wishing you had left your phone number all those times, wondering if he would have called or texted you.
plus, you were aware that your friends, particularly olivia, were becoming suspicious. you had recovered quickly from your split following that first night with calum. she knew you’d leave with him at those gatherings but she didn’t stop it because you seemed to be doing better and you were a lot happier.
so far, calum was treating you right. at least, when the two of you were hooking up. so she never made any effort to stop what was happening.
for what felt like the hundredth time, you were back in his bed. instead of looking at him, you've turned your gaze to the ceiling. you know you should leave because it's about noon and you need to get home because you have plans with olivia later that day. you groan, running your hands over your face before getting out of bed and hunting for your clothing, all scattered along the floor.
"since you obviously don't want to stay," he spoke suddenly, causing you to pause in the middle of putting your shirt back on. calum raises up to rest on his elbows as your head spins around. "how about we just agree that this is a no-strings-attached situation," he suggested. you finish putting on your shirt and take your place at the foot of the bed. "calum.." you sigh,rubbing your eyes.
"y/n, just listen and consider it. we can keep doing what we're doing without making any commitments."
you stare at him, his hair was messy, he wasn't wearing a shirt, and you couldn't help but admire his physique. you lean down to grab your shorts, responding while you did so, "i'll think about it," before throwing on the rest of your clothes and leaving his bedroom. as you close the door behind you, you hear him sigh.
your hand was on the doorknob as you stood at the door, but you stopped yourself from opening it. you hated yourself as you reached into your bag for a pen and a random scrap of paper to jot down your phone number. you retrace your steps and leave it on his kitchen island. then you disappear from his home once again.
you unlock your apartment door and walk in, closing it behind you. you enter the kitchen, putting your bag on the counter and grabbing a water bottle.
"where have you been?" you jump out of your skin when you see olivia behind the refrigerator door. "what the hell, olivia!" you exclaim, nearly spilling the bottle. she's standing with her arms crossed with an intense stare. "did you hook up with him again?"
you move out of the kitchen and into your room, closing the fridge. "no, I don't know who you're talking about." you respond, but olivia isn't having it. "stop lying. you were with him last night and the nights before." "so?" you grumble.
"so?!", she exclaimed, you can't tell if she's really mad at you or just acting this way, she repeats. "you're having an fling with a celebrity! you have a habit of hooking up with him. surely something has to be there." she follows you to your room, standing in your doorway as she questions you.
"it's nothing, olivia. we just happen to be at the same location at the same time. okay?" you explain while looking for some clothes to change into.
"i call bullshit. you were never like this, until you met him." she continues, making you sigh. "it's just a distraction, okay?"
"I just...I don't know," you shrug, unable to express your feelings. "i'll meet you later, okay?" you turn away from her.
"actually…i have a date tonight," olivia confessed. "im sorry, but i'll have to cancel." she frowned. "that's fine," you say sympathetically over your shoulder. “have fun, and please text me when you get home, okay?" olivia nods, singing, "i will, love you hot stuff" she passes by you to leave your shared apartment.
you're sitting on your sofa with a container of leftover takeout from a few nights ago after freshening up. olivia had somehow gotten you hooked on a cringe-worthy television show.
you were already two seasons in and couldn't recall a single episode. calum had made your memory fuzzy. you couldn't get him off your mind. you remained curious about what he was doing when you left. did he think of you the way you thought of him? did he ever wonder what you did when he wasn't there? though you convinced yourself you were just being delusional.
…right?
calum glances at the scrap of paper on his kitchen counter, his fingers tapping near his phone, unsure whether to wait to message you. calum was well aware that what he was doing was probably not wise. because, after all, hooking up with you was just for fun, right? so why was it so difficult for him not to think about you? why were you so difficult for him to forget? it was just intended to be once, but now calum thinks about you whenever he gets the chance.
calum sighs, picks up his phone, and starts punching in your phone number. he has no idea what he's doing, but he doesn't stop himself from sending you a message.
- ‘hey, it’s calum’
you're standing in the kitchen right now, washing your hands, when your phone dings. your heart sunk as you looked over and said the message. you swiftly withdraw your hands from the sink, grab a towel, and dry them.
you take out your phone and read his message. You stare at it for a moment, unable to believe he actually messaged you.
-‘hey’
you respond as you stroll over to your sofa and sit on the cushions. you weren't anticipating anything from him because he'd practically established that the two of you were only in it for the fun of it and that was it. no strings attached. you don't hear from him again for the time being.
you're disappointed, but you return your focus to the television, hoping to forget about the singer on your mind.
you haven't heard from olivia in hours; she should've been home by now, but you guess she went to the guy's place she was seeing.
you get up from the sofa and grab your phone; all of your anxiety fades as you open your phone to calums' contact information and call him.
It rang several times before he answered. “hello?”
“hey, calum sorry if i’m bothering you”
“no, you’re good. what’s up?”
“i was just wondering if uh…if you’d want to hang out?”
"what do you have in mind?"
you laugh, "not like that"
you can hear him laugh in amusement, “sorry- yeah, sure. there’s actually this party tonight and i wasn’t going to go since i didn’t have anyone to go with. would you be down for that?”
you pause for a moment, picking at your fingers. “sure! that sounds great” you answer.
“nice, i’ll send you the address to ashton’s place and i’ll meet you there. see you tonight, sweets.”
you arrive at ashton's house, sitting in your car for a few minutes as you ran your options through your head. ‘was this a smart decision? were you planning to do this?’ you groan, taking your phone, and bag then exiting the car, heels clicking as you approached the entrance.
when you opened the door, you were greeted by the smell of alcohol and loud music. you stroll past the crowd near the entryway and start looking for the person you came here to see.
you notice him in the kitchen with his bandmates, he noticed you as well. with a tiny smile on his lips, he motions you over to the group.
"hey," you speak softly now that you're standing close to him. "hi," he greets, unconsciously placing his hand on the small of your back. "guys, i'm not sure if you remember, but this is y/n," he reminds before re-introducing you to the rest of the band.
"are you mark's sister's friend?" michael interjects, you nod. "yeah! i was the one in the blue top that night," you smile, everyone nods in acknowledgment. "well, i'm glad you could make it, if you need anything just let me know." "thank you," you nod nervously, then glance up to calum.
he offers to take you around and introduce you to some people to make you feel more at ease.
"i'm going to get something to drink, you want anything?" you make the offer to calum, who is seated on the sofa, he responds with a simple, "sure." you nod, heading to the kitchen by yourself, leaving calum with his buddies.
"how long have you two been together?" someone seated next to calum asked, he turns to see it was ashton's girlfriend. "oh, no- we aren't together." he responds, but her reply is unexpected. "are you serious?" she asks, calum nods. "no way," she whispered, astonished as she takes a sip from the crimson solo cup. "what?" calum questions.
"there's no way you two aren't together," she says again, "the way you look at her. i'm not sure what the two of you are up to, but you should figure it out," she concludes, chuckling. calum simply stares at her, her attention drawing elsewhere.
he thought about what she said the entire time you were gone. did he actually act that way? did he treat you as though you were his girlfriend? did he look at you in a way that suggested you two were dating? no… you two were just hooking up. nothing else.
he had no idea you were back until you spoke up. "here.." you offer, handing him the drink. calum looks up takes the drink you offered, "thank you sweetheart" "anytime, sugar" you chuckle and go for a seat, but all of them are taken… okay, so you would just stand up for the time being. when calum notices this, he reaches for your waist and pulls you down onto his lap. you look down at him, confused, “what are you doing?” he looks up at you with those eyes.
those big brown eyes that made you feel as if you were on cloud nine. calum looked at you like you were the only girl in the universe.
at least, that’s what you told yourself.
“i’m not just gonna let you stand there.” he answered with a cheeky smile.
people started to leave after a few hours. you were still sitting on calum's lap as everyone else congregated in the living room, talking about whatever and playing drinking games.
you get up from the calum's lap, leaving your drink behind to walk to the restroom down the hall. you approach and knock, hearing someone in there. you stand a few steps away from the door and pull out your phone to pass the time.
after a few minutes, calum finds you. leaning his arms against the wall, effectively caging you between his arms as he stands in front of you. "whatcha doing?" he demands, boxing you in and staring at you. "I'm waiting for the bathroom," you say, glancing up at him.
"you know..." calum pauses, coming in closer. "my house isn't too far from here, and i have a bathroom..so..you can just use it there," you sneer at his offer, "how convenient.." you respond, just above a whisper.
you push yourself off the wall and past calum, leaving him speechless. "where are you going?" he asks, his arms at his sides. "your place. you coming or not?" you grin as you peer over your shoulder.
calum chuckles quietly as he approaches you and wraps his arm around your waist. he was nearly dragging you to the door. "sorry guys, we have to run!" he grabs your bag, carrying it for you before dashing out the door with you.
the others could only chuckle to themselves and smile knowingly as the two of you dashed away.
you're back in his bed, and you know it before you open your eyes. the smell of his bedsheets let you know you were back. the warm vanilla smell invaded your nostrils as you stretched and opened your eyes to find yourself staring at a familiar ceiling. you check over your shoulder for calum's sleeping figure, but he's not there.
you carefully sit up, bringing the sheet along to cover your chest and rubbing your eyes with your other hand. only then do you spew calum standing at the doorway wearing only basketball shorts. "good morning, princess," he says, and you groan, feeling a headache coming on. "i'm making breakfast if you want to stay," he says before walking out the door. you sigh as you get out of his bed and seek for your clothes before leaving his room for the kitchen.
you notice pancakes and fruit on a plate waiting for you. as he stands and consumes his food, you take a seat at the kitchen island. It's quiet for a few minutes before he speaks up.
"so i was thinking.." calum begins. you raise your head to look at him. "i know we said no strings attached but what if we expand the deal?" you lift your brows, confused as to what he was on about. "what do you mean?" you inquire. "at parties, we could be each other's automatic plus one. that way, we won't have to worry about who we go home with." you look up at him, then down at your plate, shifting some of the food about.
"i don't know, calum." you let out a sigh. you want to say yes, and you want to be around him at all times- but you just can’t confess it. "i'm just tired of being ditched by the guys at events, and i wouldn't mind if you were the one to fill that spot," you gaze up, your eyes meeting his. "okay...i'm down," you nod, and calum smiles. "great."
you continue eating as silence fills the room, you don’t really know how to keep a conversation with him since you two only hung out at parties. “when’s your birthday?” he asks. you chuckle, “what happened to no strings attached?” you ask, taking a drink of your water. “well, we can be friends with benefits. friends can know things about each other” he rebuttals. you look at him, finally caving. “y/bd” you answer, calum nods. “that’s coming up” you shrug, “its a couple months. what about you?”
“january 25th” he answers. “happy belated birthday” you reply and he laughs. “so you do have a heart.” you rolls your eyes, “oh whatever.” you can’t help but crack a smile.
calum admires you, how you still manage to look beautiful even in the makeup from the night prior and your hair is a mess. calum wants to be your friend, he wants to know stuff about you other than how you are in bed. he looks down at his plate, knowing he shouldn’t be thinking of you as anything for than his fuck buddy.
“what’s something you’ve always wanted to do?”
you think for a moment, your free hand is now supporting the weight of your chin. “hmm..i’ve always wanted like a big birthday bash.” you answer, “but i just never had the opportunity or people to go with” you add. he nodded, making a mental note.
———
calum proceeds to ask you out every other night, claiming that he doesn't want to be alone. of course, you went, but it simply muddled your sentiments for him. because he made it apparent that you were just friends.
so what was it about him holding your hand at parties that got you so worked up? or when he'd hold your back as you walked through a crowd of people. you'd have to convince yourself to stop staring at him for so long before anyone noticed.
you opted to see someone else on the side in the hopes of sorting out your feelings because the only reason you had feelings for calum was because he was the only person you had been seeing this much, right? furthermore, calum had made it obvious that there were no strings attached.
"hello?" you answer the phone as you go inside your apartment after getting home from work. "hey! "I'm sorry if i'm bothering you," calum says over the phone. "no, i just got home from work. you're fine!”
“how are you?" you ask, placing your keys on the table.
"i was just wondering if you're free tonight?" he inquires. you sigh and open your refrigerator to see if you have any snacks. "um, actually i was going out with a friend tonight…" you speak, and on the other end you hear him sigh, "okay! if your plans fall through, let me know." you smile to yourself, "of course," and it gets silent for a bit as the two of you are at a loss for words, "well, i'll let you get ready then..." "alright...bye..." you say as you pull the phone away from your ear and finish the call.
calum sighs as he tosses his phone to the opposite end of the sofa and rests his head back. he knows that he should not be disappointed; you have your own life, and calum was only a little part of it, just as he had his own life but knowing he wouldn't be able to see you tonight hurt. so, instead of moping about, he decided to ask his bandmates if they wanted to hang out for the night.
however, the night was uneventful; luke had met a girl, michael was conversing with someone, and calum was left alone with ashton.
"isn't that the girl you're seeing?" ashton says unexpectedly, motioning towards you at the bar. calum looks over his shoulder and sees you talking with a guy.
calum is hurt, but he turns around and shrugs as he faces ashton. "we're not seeing each other, i don't like her like that," ashton chuckles as he sips his drink, "sure you don't," calum moans, "mate, cmon.."
“you’re lying to yourself, mate. maybe you don't say you like her, but your eyes say everything." ashton spoke, calum knew it was true. he did like you, but he was unsure if you even considered him more than someone just to hook up with. you had been giving him mixed signals, because one night you were all about him but the next day you wanted nothing to do with him.
calum peers over his shoulder once more, this time observing that the guy that was now touching you, his hand on your leg, inching higher and higher. calum considers ashton's words and walks away from the table he was at towards you.
the way he felt was enough confirmation for his feelings for you. he wanted to be more than just a friend you sleep with. he wants to the be the person you come to during your darkest times, he wants to know your favorite songs, he wants to know your favorite movies, food, candy, animal, he wants to be your person.
“so when were you going to introduce me to your friend?” your head whips around to find calum standing behind the bar stool you sat at. “calum?” you blink before turning back to your date who had now removed his hand from your thigh. “you know him?” the man questions, eyeing calum.
“uh…he’s just my-“ calum cuts you off, “boyfriend” he finishes for you. your eyes go wide looking at calum again, you were about to open your mouth but calum beat you to it. “and we should be heading back now” he reaches for your waist, grabbing your purse and escorting you out of the bar.
"what the hell!?" you yell outside the bar, shoving him away from you. "you can't do that, calum! we're not exclusive, we are not dating; we're just friends who occasionally hook up" you hear calum chuckle and it sends you over the edge.
you huff and begin to walk away, but calum follows you and drapes his arm over your shoulder.
"youre mine and i don't share"
"where are you taking me?" calum walks next to you, instinctively leading you to his car. "home," he says, unlocking his car door and allowing you to enter before closing it and walking to the driver's side.
within a few minutes, you realize he's heading in the opposite way. "calum this isn't the way to to my place" you're saying. "I know," he replies, looking over at you. "i never said which home"
‘get ready, im coming over’
calum takes out his phone. he thinks nothing of the message you just sent him, presuming you're coming over to visit him. however, when you came and kept honking the car horn for him to come outside he was a bit thrown off.
when calum walks outside, he puts his phone and wallet in his pocket while walking over to your car. as you roll down your window, he leans in. "get in, we're going shopping," you say, music still playing and a smile on your face.
"why exactly do you need me for this?" calum inquires, his brow furrowed. you reply, "well considering you'll be the one taking it off i figured you might want to help me pick out something" while grinning. despite his flushed cheeks, calum takes a step back, unlocks the car door, and hops inside.
you took calum to the mall and modeled for nearly two hours while looking for the right outfit for your birthday. it had been two hours of no success until one of the last stores you visited had this leather skirt you had been eyeing for a while.
calum couldn't take his eyes off of your body when you emerged from the dressing room. both the halter top you chose and the skirt perfectly complemented one other. you drawled, "sooo?" hoping for a positive response. he answers right away, "yes." when you looked down at yourself, he speaks up again. “that’s the one, you have to get it.” and you couldn't help but laugh. you nod and examine yourself in the mirror before returning to the dressing room to change into your clothing so you could check out.
you happen to pass a leather jacket on your way to the register. and it just so happens to go well with the skirt. additionally, you observe that calum is examining it longer than anything else you have so added in the store. you made the choice to pick it up, do your best to estimate his size, and continue moving forward to pay.
on the way back to your place you pick up takeout since it was getting late in the evening and you both were starving.
when the two of your arrive home, you get comfortable on the sofa and begin picking out a movie while calum is in the kitchen sorting out the food before bringing it all into the living room. you picked out a movie and the two of you eat in peace, enjoying each others company.
afterwards, you had started cleaning up all the empty containers and throwing it away with the help of calum.
“will you put the skirt on again? i forgot what it looks like” calums asks and you laughed, looking over your shoulder. “seriously?” he nods. you pause for a moment before rolling your eyes and sigh, “fine.”
you walk out of your bedroom in the skirt but you hid something behind your back, looking a bit shy. which was unusual because you never acted like this around calum, so he knew something was up. “y/n, what’s behind your back?” he asks in a teasing tone and you begin walking towards him slowly. “okay, so, don’t be mad but i may have picked you up something too..”
she grins bringing the jacket from behind her and handing it towards him.
“i—y/n/n please tell me you didn’t buy this leather jacket for me” you take a few steps forward. “i’ve never heard you say please before. this is new.” you say, smirking. calums rolls his eyes but he can’t help but smile and you continue, “but yes i did. i saw you eyeing it so i grabbed it”
he tries to hide his smile. “well go on, put it on” you help him into the jacket and it’s then when he notices. “did you get this so we could match?” he says laughing. “no i absolutely did not! i just wanted to do something nice for you” he quickly responds “you didn’t have to go through the trouble of getting more clothes sweetheart. taking some off would’ve had the same effect” he chuckles. you playfully hit his chest and say “you’re insufferable.” you look away but then looks back smiling.
“but yeah maybe i wanted us to match a little bit. sue me” he grabs your waist and pulls your closer, you feel his thumb drawing circles on your exposed skin and it sends shivers down your spine. “well i certainly appreciate the thought, sweets. now we just need an occasion to show up everyone” calum teases, leaning in. his lips only inches from yours, you feel your cheeks warm up. “calum..” you warn but he continues to close the space between the two of you. “it’s just one kiss..”
you hate your birthday, it was the one day of the year you always found yourself to be the most miserable despite having people who loved you around. you still felt so unhappy.
“y/n, are you ready? you can’t be late to your own party!” olivia calls out from the living room. you exit your bedroom, meeting her in the room. “i’m ready, im ready” you say, throwing your bag on your shoulder. “y/n..” you hear olivia sigh, she takes a few steps towards you and puts her hands on your shoulder.
“lighten up. i know you hate your birthday but this year im not
letting you be miserable. kay?” she gently shakes you enough for you to crack a smile and nod, “good” she says, linking her arm with yours.
“now let’s go before people think you bailed your own birthday party.”
the two of you arrive to the same club where you had first met calum yet this time, the atmosphere was different.
no purple, pink, or red lights. no promotional posters in the windows. instead, you see white paper decorations and warm fairy lights.
you enter the bar in front of olivia and hear a loud uproar of people cheering as you did and some people even popping confetti. you couldn’t help but laugh as you walked through the crowd, seeing all of your close friends standing around celebrating you.
olivia was also giddy, knowing she had planned this whole thing along with calum.
“you guys didn’t have to do this!” you said over the music after you saw the cake sitting in the middle of the room, you’re beaming with joy. for the first time in a long time you were excited to be celebrating your birthday.
you spent time greeting people and thanking them.
some of these people you haven’t seen in years and it made you feel like things were finally getting better.
just as you were about to catch up with some old friends, the lights dimmed and you heard some light strumming from the nearby stage.
you look over seeing four familiar figures underneath the red stage lights.
“hello everyone,” luke begins, adjusting the mic. “if you all don’t know, we are five seconds of summer” the crowd roars at the name drop and some people are playfully hitting your shoulder not knowing your tied with the band.
“we just wanted to say we are truly honored to be back at the place we showcased our recent album, and of course to celebrate the birthday girls special day.” .
“so, happy birthday, y/n. we hope you have a wonderful year.” luke beamed.
the set was at least forty-five minutes long, they had played mostly their new stuff off the youngblood album but dropped in a few older songs.
you were over the moon.
to say you had five seconds of summer perform at your birthday party? that’s huge.
you never thought you’d end up in this position.
to say you had personal connections to people as big as calum, or even the whole band for that matter.
tonight was a night you’d definitely never forget.
standing outside the club, you watch the people inside dance and get lost in each other. the whole scene was almost melancholy- the way everyone was there to celebrate you. the night was near ending and you felt so cramped in there, you thought you'd spend the last few hours of your birthday catching your breath.
"hey you" calum voice interrupts your thoughts, a cigarette between his fingers as he watches you from a close enough distance. you furrow your brows, "didn't know you smoked"
he quickly flicks it to the floor, stepping on it a few times before picking up the trash.
"Is it a turn off?"
"no no i just didn't know" you shrug and look back up at the sky, "i don't think i know anything about you aside from you're good in bed and you like whiskey" he chuckles now, stepping closer to you and placing his hands on your waist.
"well, ask me anything you want"
you watch as he looks away for a moment, searching for the perfect question.
"if you could go anywhere in the world, where would you go?"
your eyes don't leave the sky as you think, long and hard about the question. "i’d love to see paris... it's been my dream since i was a child."
you could feel his hands loosen from your waist, he steps infront of you and stared down at your face with a smile. It's almost like he's thinking of what to do or what to say next.
“paris?” he repeats.
you nod, tilting your head to the side, studying him. "what about you?"
calum had now completely removed his arm from your waist as he leans down to rest his elbows on the metal railing.
“considering i’ve toured around the world, ive been to plenty of amazing places” he says, looking back to see if you were looking at him.
“i don’t have just one, too many places, not enough time to explore” he answered.
you nod, looking away towards the city. the nightlife in downtown los angeles was a lot lively than normal.
probably because your birthday fell on a friday this year, so all of the bars were jam packed and faint music flooded the streets.
you inhale, about to say something as your turn your attention back towards the brunette.
“y/n! cmon!” olivia grabs your wrist pulling you inside and away from calum, towards the large cake so you could blow out the candles.
“come on birthday girl, make a wish!” olivia cheers along with everyone standing around. you laugh, “okay okay!”. you blow out the candles and everyone begins to cheer. olivia hugs your side and giggles, “what did you wish for?” she asks. you grin petting her head, “if i tell you it won’t come true, will it?” your eyes flicker between calum and olivia as you speak.
you hear olivia groan in annoyance. someone amongst the crowd, you guess ashton, you could recognize that arm anywhere, points to the cake and says, "birthday girl gets first pick!"
you finally see his figure merge from behind someone with a plastic plate and knife. "what piece does my girl want?" ashton continues.
you examine the cake once more and point to a corner piece smothered in the purple icing with a kiddish like grin on your face. ashton's nods and begins to cut you a piece.
as it nears the end of the night and the bar slowly begins to empty out, you've found yourself at the bar watching everyone says their goodbye and share a hug with you before leaving the building.
the music was faintly playing now, compared to when you had arrived eariler.
solo cups trashed the floor, paper plates and napkins scattered the bar table. you look down at the glass setting in front of you as you swirl around the liquid contents. you didn’t even notice calum approaching.
“how was your birthday?” he hums, sitting next to you.
“good” you smile, resting your head on your hand. “tonight was good. you did great on stage.”
“yeah?” calum raises his eyebrows, you see a playful smirk forming on his lips. “mhm, very rockstar.”
calum laughs at your comment and then the two of you fall silent, watching as some people begin cleaning up the mess.
“can i talk to you?” calum questions, turning his focus back to you.
you nod, “yeah, of course”
“in private.” he adds.
you raise your eyebrows , wondering what he needs to say that he can’t in front of your friends.
“sure”
calum takes your hand and leads you towards the back door, which you had no idea was back here.
when he opens it, you see a patio with a string of fairy lights surrounding the area.
“you’re going to think i was stalking you or something, but this just happened by chance. i swear.” calum stands you in front of him as he reaches in his back pocket and hands you a plane ticket.
“we’ll be in paris on the first leg of our tour and i had an extra ticket.” he stated. you look up at him wide eyed, then do a double take to make sure you were seeing it right. “calum..what? i…i just i can’t just-“
“i want you there.” he adds.
“i want you in paris with me, hell- i want you on the whole tour with me. please, take it” he offers it to you again, making you take it.
“oh my god” you mutter, looking down at the ticket now in your hand.
“the flight is in two days, i know it’s hella last minute but i figured its now or never” calum speaks softly.
you’re still at a loss for words, your body working faster than your mind as your wrap your arms around calums figure. “thank you so much” you say into his shoulder.
“anytime” he hums, hugging you back.
“cmon cal! we gotta head back.” michael can be heard from the bar.
the australian pulls away and offers a warm smile, “see you in paris..” he says and walks off. “bye..”
you’re quick to whip your phone out and text olivia before heading back to your apartment partment
“youll never believe what just happened”
“is this a good or bad thing”
“uhh good? i think? i hope so”
“well dont leave me in the dark what happened”
“calum gave me a ticket to paris” “WHAT, Y/N THATS HUGE. are you gonna go”
“i mean, id feel bad if i didnt. i hate how easy it is for me to like him.”
“we’re so having a debriefing when you get home.”
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the plane ride was long and tiresome, eleven hours of being so uncomfortable in the seats and having someone next to you who had no regard for personal space. plus, you just hated planes in general.
but once the plane landed, you felt a wave of relief and soon enough you were off the plane and navigating your way through the foreign airport.
once you get to baggage claim you wait for your luggage and once you have it, you begin looking around for a familiar person.
you round a corner and finally see the one you had been searching for. “there’s my pretty girl” calum says, as his eyes lands on you as he makes his way towards you.
“i look awful calum” you laugh as his arms wrap around you tightly. “no such thing” he says into your hair before pulling away. “how was the flight?” he adds, taking your luggage from your hand then linking his free hand with yours while leading you out of the airport.
“long” you laugh tiredly, as you watch him load your bags into the back of the car.
the uber back to the hotel that calum was staying at was nice, being able to see nice scenery before you’d sleep for the next twelve hours.
the plan was, you’d sleep for as long as you could until calums show tomorrow, then hopefully, you’d be well rested and enjoy his concert and have a few days in the city to spend with him.
still only as friends..right?
while you start unpacking, calum was helping. “when are you going to sleep?” he asks, taking your now empty suitcase and putting it next to his as you were folding and putting the clothes in the dresser. “probably when i get done here.” you say closing the drawer to the dresser.
“no, you’re not” calum says, causing you to stop and turn to him. “what?” you blurt, harsher than you wanted. “what do you mean ‘no’”.
“i mean no because i’m taking you out tonight.” “calum” you try to interject but he doesn’t let you. “were going out tonight, no ands, ifs,or buts. kay?” he says, walking towards you. “and be sure to wear that skirt, you look good in it.” he whispers into your ear.
“what skirt?” you ask, trying to act oblivious.
calum scoffs a little, “you know the one.”
you finish swiping the last bit of mascara onto your lashes and close the tube, then check yourself in the mirror once more wanting to make sure you outfit was good enough.
“you done?” you hear calum voice ring the hotel room into the bathroom. “yeah!” you yell back and grab your lipstick, touching up your lips before throwing it and a gloss in your bag and exit the bathroom .
“you look great” calum grins, walking towards you. his arm snaking around your waist and pulling you closer. you grin, taking notice just how good he looks in leather jacket. “so do you, mr.rockstar.” “yeah?” he smiles, you nod. “yeah. you ready?” you ask. “yep let me get my wallet”
the night was nearing an end, you walked down the street next to calum, luke and sierra followed behind the two of you. calum had taken you all over the city, to nice cafes, his favorite spots from the last time he visited, and a museum. it was truly a wonderful day in the city of love.
the four of your turn a corner and suddenly you’re shocked by the bright dazzling lights of the eiffel tower.
you’re starstruck, you must’ve stopped in your tracks became calum looks back at you, “you comin’?” he grins, holding out his hand for you to take.
you felt like a kid in a candy store as you approached the structure. it felt like something out of a dream. you weren’t sure why you loved the idea of being in paris, but you were here now. standing in front of the famous landmark in the world, it was so beautiful you could cry.
“wow..” you speak breathlessly. the twinkling lights reflected in your eyes, the way it stood out against the dark sky, it felt like the most magical thing you had ever seen.
you’re quick to take your phone out and snap a couple pictures, not wanting to forget this moment. it would be something you would talk about forever.
“hey y/n-“ sierra taps your shoulder. your spin around and face the girl, “mm?”
“care to take a pic of me and luke?”
“sure!” you take the phone from sierra as the couple poses in front of the sight. “i’ll take a couple so pose however you want” you smile and begin snapping pictures of the two.
luke and sierra were a good couple, they complimented each other very well. and from what you’ve seen of sierra she was a good friend and good girlfriend to luke.
“check those, make sure you like them” you hand the phone back to sierra so she can check them.
“perfect! thank you so much!” sierra beams looking at the photos then up at you.
“do you want some with calum?” she asks.
you look over at calum who was already looking at you. “um, sure!” you hand your phone to sierra.
you and calum stand next to each other and let sierra snap a couple pictures together. luke is standing behind sierra watching as she makes sure to get all the angles.
“beautiful!” she exclaims with a wide grin as she hands your phone back to you so you could check the pictures.
you swipe through the pictures awhile calum looks over your shoulder.
“god damn” the australian begins, “we look good together.”
and it was true. you did look good together. maybe you could picture being with him more than his ‘friend’.
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your eyes flutter open to the soft rays of the sun peeking in through the sheer white curtains of the hotel room. “morning, pretty” you hear calum say causing you to look over your shoulder where he sat on the opposite side of the bed.
you groan quietly, rubbing your eyes as you slowly sit up to lean against the headboard. “mornin” you reply followed by a yawn. “what time is it?” “noon” calum answers, turning off his phone. “damn” you reply knowing you’ve slept almost a whole day. “sorry” you say but calum shakes his head, “don’t apologize, you needed the rest. plus, you’ll be well rested for tonight” he grins, you shake your head and playfully push his shoulder.
“what’s on the agenda for today?” you yawn again, and calum leans back on the headboard. “well, we have to be at the venue at two and soundcheck is at three”. he says, checking his phone for the time.
“good, gives me plenty of time to get ready” you say, reaching for your phone. “do you want to leave with me or do you wanna just come whenever you’re done?” you shrug thinking about how long it’ll take you to get ready. “i might just uber after i’m done that way i don’t have to rush.” you start, ripping the cover off of your legs. “plus it’ll give me enough time to make sure i look good for you tonight.” you say with a grin before getting out of the bed and making your way to the bathroom.
calum laughs before calling out to you “you’re a tease, you know that?” you smile to yourself using water for your shower. “always!” you holler back.
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you’re sat in the back of an uber staring out the back passenger window. the venue isn’t very far from the hotel so the ride wasn’t too bad. when you arrived you saw the line of fans outside all waiting in queue you smiled to yourself, feeling proud of the band, and calum.
you step out of the vehicle and walked around like a lost puppy trying to look for olivia’s brother, mark.
you take the time to see everyone waiting in line dressed in their best and looking beautiful.
“oh thank god” you start, spotting the blonde man. “y/n! you made it!” mark smiles, pulling you in for a hug.
“yeah, thank god, i almost got lost.” mark nods and begins leading you down a long corridor until reaching the dressing rooms. “i figured you’re here for calum?” you look up, staring at him for a moment before blinking. “that obvious huh?” mark laughs, then hands you a vip laminated lanyard. “keep this on you, have fun and enjoy the show.” he adds as he pats your shoulder.
you watch as he walks away, taking a deep breath as you open the door peeking your head in. you see the guys spread out in the room until calum looks up from his phone to greet you.
“its about time you got here, i was about to worry.” he says, now pulling you into their dressing room. his tan arms wrap around your figure and you get a whiff of his cologne.
he keeps you close to your side as the other guys come up to greet you. “was it hard to find?” calum inquires, you shrug, “i walked around the building until i eventually found mark and now im here” you laugh. “probably a little late, traffic was crazy”
calum smiles, “all good, at least you’re here now. that’s all that matters.” he says, slinging his arm over your shoulders.
“all right guys, they’re all ready for you” some stage manager, you had to guess, said as they popped their head in the door.
you separate from calum as he fixed his in-ear-piece and grabs his bass. you smile at him and give him a thumbs up and watch as he followed behind the other three.
“are you sierra and y/n?” and woman enters the room, her dirty blonde hair was cut to about her shoulders but it was obviously growing out. she had a welcoming smile and comforting aura. the two of you nod. “perfect, i’m hannah i can take you guys to your seats!” she beams and then the two of you follow her out into the arena where she showed where the two of you would be at.
side of the pit, calums side, so it was actually perfect for you. “are you guys going to be on the rest of the tour?”
“i will” sierra smiles. then hannah turns towards you.
“oh, i don’t know yet” you laugh, taking a swig of your drink.
“well, i’ll be on the tour with the guys so if you every need anything just look for me.” she smiles again. “enjoy the show!”
it was incredible to see, they were truly in their element. each of the acting as if they were born to be on stage.
“wow!” michael hollers about midway through their performance, taking a small break in between songs. luke is still strumming quietly in the background. “paris, how the fuck are we feeling?!” the crowd erupts in loud cheers.
“it’s great to be back after so long” he continues, then takes a glance at his band mates. “how are you all liking paris?”
“good, i love it here” luke answers, earning a few hollers from the crowd.
“how you liking paris, cal?”
“what about the view here? it’s such a beautiful place” luke interjects.
“you seen anything nice lately, calum?” luke continues
“yup, the views in my hotel room are amazing.”
your heart stopped, it was subtle. just enough for only you to notice. he was definitely mentioning you.
“do you mean from?” luke chimes.
you can faintly see calum smile as he laughs into the mic, “yup, my bad.”
“alrighty then.” michael pauses, luke had taken a few steps back from the mic but could still be been laughing.
“then how about you introduce the next song?”
“the next song is for all those who end up meeting someone and know it won’t be more than just having fun. and they’re okay with that. talk fast.”
you wondered what it looked like from their perspective. you turn to face the crowd and you’re overwhelmed with what you see. people screaming their lungs out to the lyrics, some dancing with their friends, you even see some people crying. you also see some signs. some more creative than others, and some sweeter than others.
you manage to spot one that made you a little uncomfortable; “call me red with the way i be riding hood”
sure, clever, but it made you realize that if you had a shot with calum, what’s stopping him from hooking up with any other fan when you’re not around?
shit.
maybe you did like him more than just a fuck buddy.
during the next intermission you and sierra had made some small talk until you overheard some girls next to you in the pit talking about calum.
“oh i’d totally fuck him.” she says nonchalantly. “i bet you i could easily pull him by the end of the night, i just need to find my way in.” she giggles.
you shift on your feet and turn to sierra who also heard it. “welcome to my life..” she raises her eyebrows then take a sip of her drink.
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you sit in silence on the uber ride back to the hotel. calum sat to your right, you knew he was looking at you and he wanted to ask what was wrong.
did you have a bad night?
was the show bad?
the whole way back to the hotel you hadn’t spoken one word to him. you didn’t even look at him.
why did you feel like this?
calum wasn’t even yours. you had no valid reason to be angry.
except you did.
you were afraid that he would want someone else, that you were easily replaceable. you couldn’t deal with that, you couldn’t go through another heartbreak.
you should’ve known that messing with him would’ve lead to this, but you were naïve and wanted something to distract you from your ex boyfriend.
your feet seem to have a mind of their own as you storm past calum and out into the freezing cold.
"y/n/n, cmon don't be this way", he laughs innocently while pacing himself behind you.
you don’t say anything except press the elevator button and wait impatiently for the doors to open. you really couldn’t tell anyone why you were being so stubborn, hell, you didn’t even know why.
once the doors opened you were quick to slip in and press the button to your floor. you stand with your arms crossed, staring blankly at the metal. doors. you were quietly wishing he would say something, anything at all.
“y/n?” he tries reaching for your arm but you shrug him off. “not in the mood cal.” you reply. you knew you were being stubborn and very annoying.
he hasn’t given you a reason to act this way towards him.
you knew you were overreacting. plain and simple.
*ding*
the elevator doors opened and you walk through the hallway towards your bedroom. you scan the keycard and open the door letting calum follow behind you like a lost puppy.
you throw your purse on the bed and take your jacket off. “y/n. please.” you hear him sigh. calum feels guilty and he doesn’t even know what the hell he did. but whatever it was he was going to fix it. he couldn’t take you being mad at him like that.
“why dont you go bother someone else, looked like there was plenty that would love to be in your bed” you hiss, the words spilling from your lips like venom.
calum stops in his tracks, also removing the leather jacket from his shoulders and tossing it on the bed. “what?” he asks, dumbfounded.
“don’t play dumb, cal.”
“i don’t know what you mean, y/n.” he bites back.
“i mean, if you can sleep around with me what’s stopping you from sleeping with your fans?” you confess.
calum just stares at you, “what? what are you talking about?” the bassist was genuinely confused, you had never reacted, at least, not when he was around.
“the people at the show, cal. the signs, their outfits, the way they talk about you-“
calum cuts you off, “look, i don’t know where this is coming from or why you’re acting like this but-“
“i’m acting like this because it was never just about being friends with benefits calum!” you confess, staring at him intently. “i can’t keep acting like im okay with not being able to love you. i don’t want to be hurt again. not by you”
everything came spewing out of you like a waterfall. all the months of pent up frustration and confusion had finally found its way into the world.
you were so frustrated you didn’t even realize what you had said, you turn to look out the window and stare at the lights from the city.
calum doesn’t say anything, racking his brain to make sure he heard you right. you said you loved him, without really even saying the three words.
“you said you love me.”
you look over at him, “what?”
“you just said you ‘can’t keep acting like you don’t love me’.” he repeats.
you shake your head and look away from him. “i didn’t.” you try to get him to leave it alone.
“you did” he sighs, coming next to you and takes you by the shoulders and turns you to face him. “you practically said you love me.”
“calum-“
“i love you too.” he smiled. “i don’t know if that means anything now but i do. i have for a while.” he confessed.
“y/n, you’re nothing like i imagined you would be. when i met you that night in the bar i thought you’d be like all the other girls, which i know doesn’t help, but; this has been the best past year of my life and i think of you more than someone i fuck occasionally.” calum is looking into your eyes. “you’re more than that, y/n/n.”
there are tears welling in your eyes, you shake your head. “i don’t want to be hurt again. i don’t think i could take it.” calum nods, reaching for your hands.
“i understand, but trust me when i say that id never do anything to hurt you, okay?” calum assures, “you’re everything and more.”
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*buzz*
*buzz buzz*
you groan and reach for your phone, opening one eye to look at the notifications. you have over ten messages and five calls from olivia. you sigh, wanting to ignore her antics but maybe it was an emergency. you unlock your phone and see all the messages.
‘girl check instagram.’
‘what time is it there’s
‘are you asleep?’
‘omg omg y/n!!!!’
‘you’re not gonna believe this.’
‘girl i’m freaking out !!!!!’
‘y/n please check your instagram.
‘you’re gonna flip.’
‘ please wake up.’
‘i’m calling you’
you sit up in confusion and then check your other notifications to see over hundreds of notifications from instagram. “what the hell” you croak and then open the app.
‘calumhood tagged you in a post.’
you swipe through the pictures until you see the very last picture which was you standing in front of the eiffel tower with your back turned to him admiring the view and then you saw the caption; “they say paris is the city of love <3”
you practically shoot up from your position staring wide eyed at the phone. you read some of the comments in a panic.
‘lukehemmings: it’s about damn time’
ashtonirwin: finally! don’t hurt my girl;)
calumhood replying to ashtonirwin: your girl?
ashtonirwin replying to calumhood: yep:)
michaelclifford: called it!
sierradeaton: you posted the pic !! omg !!!
5sos_updates: the last slide omg!?!? also last night was crazy!
iheartcalumhood: who’s the girl?
“calum??” you say out, hoping he was still in the room.
you hear the bathroom door open. “yeah?” he asks walking around the corner only dressed in a pair of basketball shorts.
“why did you post that?” you ask showing him the instagram post. “i wanted to prove to you that everything i said last night is true”
you blink, staring at him with little to no expression. “your first thought to do that was post me on your instagram?”
“uhh i guess? should i not have done that?” you crack a smile and look down at your phone, “i cant believe you, cal.” you say, falling back on the bed to scroll through more comments.
“can’t go back on it now” he says, standing at the foot at the bed.
“you’re stuck with me forever” he says crawling on the bed, hovering over your figure. “really? because ashton said i was his girl. sounds like you have some competition, hood.” you state, showing calum his comment.
he takes your phone and tosses it somewhere else on the bed. “nope, you’re my girl forever and always.” he hums leaning in to leave kisses on your neck which earned giggles from you. “calum!”
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Long, long time | L.H
luke hemmings x reader
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summary: you don't know how much longer you can cope with luke being on tour
warnings: panic attack, anxiety, angst with comfort, hurt/comfort, fem reader, reader is really going through it, very brief mention of lack of appetite, bit of poor self hygiene, not proofread
a/n: first time posting on tumblr despite being on here for years. literally terrified, also how god damn good is the feeling of falling upwards live album. i started levitating, don't get me started on os/co i could write a whole essay. also the ending is so rushed it's not funny but i couldn't think of an ending.
plus, the ending was my grandparents wedding song and i think it's so romantic so i put it in.
~~
It was early. The night had kept you awake, closing your eyes meant seeing every mistake you had ever made play in your mind. The curtains on your window were left open, the empty street and faint stars mocking your every move. The dim streetlight was your only source of light, and something about it was wrong.
It had been two weeks of this, of constantly shaking hands and always looking over your shoulder. Showering took more effort than it should, you had a never ending stomach ache, it felt like you didn't need to eat or drink. Your brain had been on constant overdrive for so long that it didn't know how to switch off, and it felt like there were rubber bands, squeezing around your chest and your brain, getting tighter and tighter by the minute.
For two weeks, you had done the same thing each night. Sitting up in bed, crossing your legs under your thick blanket and rocking, back and forth and back and forth. Your hands found your hair. It was greasier than you realised. How long had it been since you washed it? Stretching out your fingers, they felt wrong. They look different then you remembered. How long had it been since you had looked at yourself? Your hands find your knees, gripping onto them as you continue to rock.
You really don't want to. But you know you should. Where is he today? What even is the date today? When did you last talk to him?
Oh, his voice. His sweet, sweet voice. What would he say if he saw you like this? And this bed. This bed is far too big without him in it.
Luke is worried as well. You last spoke three days ago, and it was only texting. Usually you facetime every night, but he hasn't seen your face in just over a week. He wonders if you are busy, are you seeing your friends, are you working more?
If you squeeze your eyes shut, you can see him. He is sitting on the bed in front of you, he is holding you, he is smiling that gorgeous soft smile that he sends your way whenever you feel down. You can feel his hands rubbing up your arms in a soothing manner, his lips pressing against your forehead as the sweetest act of comfort.
You raise a hand to his side of the bed, dragging your hand along his pillow. No. No. The corner of your eyes prick.
Standing up on shaky legs, you stumble through the dark until you find your phone, face down on your floor, next to some discarded clothes. When did you let your bedroom get this filthy? The hands digging at your chest begin to dig their nails in. You kneel down, sitting on your heels and click your phone on. It's far too bright, it stings your eyes, but nonetheless you gaze lovingly at your lockscreen. At Him.
His beautiful blue eyes, warm and loving, and his gorgeous eyelashes, god he is blessed. His beautiful smile, halfway to a laugh, bringing a sad smile to your lips. Your eyes blur as you touch his cheek through your phone screen, a ragged breath coming from your chest.
You unlock your phone, blurry eyes and shaky hands pressing his contact, and the big green call button. It rings once, twice, three times, four times.
"Hey honey! You ok? Isn't it early at home?"
You don't respond. Your mouth hangs open in shock. He's alive. He's breathing. He's real, and you haven't imagined him. His voice is coming through your phone, he is on the other end and you can almost feel him.
A deep breath.
"Luke," You sob, "Luke."
"Oh, my girl."
You can hear voices becoming louder, and some clattering, a door closing and finally, just him.
"Baby, what's wrong?"
"It hurts, Luke. It really hurts."
"What hurts?"
"My chest. It's too tight and I can't breathe properly, and my brain is so sore, every time I move it stings and burns. And my skin is too tight on me, but it's too loose in some places, and I don't recognise myself and I'm so scared. I'm so tired, and I'm so scared, and I can't sleep, and the bed is too big and the house is too silent, and I need you."
You say it all in one breath, trying hard to regulate your breathing as you hold onto the phone for dear life.
"Ok, can we take some breaths together? Nice and slow. You're ok. You're safe."
You try to breathe, and eventually your chest opens up a bit. You open up your mouth to talk, but suddenly it's all mush. You sit together in silence for a bit. Speaking is too difficult. You click the phone onto speaker, and try to make your way back to bed.
"I'm right here baby, I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere."
You manage to groan out a response, pulling your blanket over your shaking body. Another sob escapes your lips, and you wrap your arms around your middle, pretending that you are anywhere else, that you are anybody else, that you have your boy with you.
"I'm so proud of you, you're so brave, can we keep taking some deep breaths? Just copy me."
You listen to his breathing through the phone and try to copy it, the pressure in your throat easing slightly.
"I love you so much. And I'm home so soon. So soon."
"Yeah. Not soon enough." A shaky inhale, a shaky exhale.
"Do you want me to sit with you for a bit? I can be quiet, or I can talk, whatever you need honey."
He is so patient. He is so kind. The first time he saw you have one of these, he sat in the dark in complete silence with you for threehours.
"Talk to me. I need to hear your voice."
And so he does. He talks about what you will do when he gets back. He talks about hearing you in all of his songs, and how he can't wait to hold you.
"I need you to come home soon, Lu. I think I'm fading again. I can't sleep. I need you."
He hears the tremor in your voice, your desolate tone, your sniffles, your slight stutter. He feels his heart break in two, knowing that he isn't there to hold you, to put you back together and smooth your skin.
"I know baby. Not long now, and I'm all yours for as long as you need, okay?"
"Okay. I'm really tired. Can you sing to me?"
And he doesn't hesitate. You swear you can hear the slight smile in his voice,
"Always."
"Never thought that you would be, standing here so close to me ,there's so much I feel that I should say, but words can wait until some other day"
His voice is sweet. His words linger in your head and your eyes drift closed.
"Kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again. It's been a long, long time. Haven't felt like this, my dear since I can't remember when. It's been a long, long time"
Your heart feels warm. You know that it will not be easy. You know that the next two weeks will be hard. But you know that you will see him soon. And you know that you can live when you're with him.
"You'll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you. Or just how empty they all seemed without you. So kiss me once, then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again It's been a long, long time"
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lipringlrh · 1 year
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kiss you forever - lrh
summary: luke wants you to do his eyeliner for his show.
pairing: luke hemmings x genderneutral!reader
an: this won the poll thing i did so please lmk if you like it :)
word count: ~800
requested:
feedback appreciated!!
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You had barely reached the venue and Luke was already pulling you into his dressing room. He was hurrying around everywhere, stressing over every little detail.
He wasn't usually this anxious but he was playing in Sydney tonight and wanted everything to be perfect. His family was here and you'd be joining them shortly, you just couldn't help seeing Luke beforehand.
You were dragged towards the mirror and watched as he sat down in the twisty chair. He moved the height down so your head was above his and then proceed to grab a few items off the counter. He held them in one hand, reaching the other out to grab yours and manoeuvre you into standing between his legs. His head was just below yours, looking up at you. He grabbed your other hand, wrapping it around a thin tube, before taking the lid off for you.
You stared at him blankly, waiting for him to give you some instructions. He sighed, wrapping his hands around the hand which held the tube, pulling it towards his face. "Need you to do my eyeliner, angel."
You just looked at him, tilting your head to the side, trying to calm him and tease him at the same time. He sighed and pressed a kiss to the side of your face, "pretty please."
You nodded smiling, before focusing on his eyes. He had a pretty shimmer plastered all over the lids, and multiple dots from where he had failed to take off the previous failed attempts at the eyeliner.
You grabbed the wetwipe packet from the counter, taking one out and folding it into a small square. You dabbed it at where you could see the marks, making sure to miss out the eyeshadow as much as possible.
When you finished, you picked up the eyeshadow palette, hoping to reapply the product you took off. "Which shade did you use, lu? S'really pretty."
He pointed towards the shimmer in the top left and moved to grab the brush he used, then refocused back at you. You're sure that was the first time he took his eyes off of you since you started.
You reapplied the shadow quickly but carefully, Luke struggling to keep his eyes closed for the few seconds you needed him to. His hands found your waist, grabbing you and moving you ever so slightly closer.
You finished, and moved closer to him letting Luke pass you the eyeliner again. "What look are you going for?"
"M'thinking maybe a small wing? Subtle but you can tell it's there." You smiled up nodding at him. You reached your hands up to cup his face, bringing it closer to yours.
You brought the pen up to his face, beginning the eyeliner. You dragged his face closer again, making sure there's no chance you screw up.
You finished and turned his head to either side, double checking your work then admiring it and Luke simultaneously.
You had yet to realise the close proximity of your faces but Luke had. It took everything in him to not kiss you in that moment. You were holding his head up in your palm and he couldn't think of anything that could make him melt more.
His cheeks were stained a deep red and his eyes were flicking all around your face, from your lips to your eyes and back again. You noticed this, then how close you were, and felt your breath get stuck in your throat. You eyes were pinned on his lips, wanting nothing more than to kiss him. You needed to speak; to say anything, yet Luke consumed all your thoughts.
"You look so pretty, Lu." You whispered as though it was a promise. Your thumb was moving against his cheek, brushing over his lips, sending butterflies into his stomach.
"S'all you lovie." He whispered back, so quiet you almost missed it. He leaned in closer to you, tilting his head and letting his lips meet yours. It was soft and sweet, making warmth overtake your whole body. His hands moved from on your waist to wrap you in a hug, letting you move to rest one of your legs over his in the chair. You couldn't help but grin into the kiss as your stomach erupted.
You pulled away, hoping the feeling would linger on your lips. Luke's cheeks were burning, "I could kiss you forever, you know." You giggled in response, pulling his jaw up to meet you in a kiss once again. You let your fingers tangle in his hair, tugging slightly on his curls, letting you both get lost in the moment once more.
requests are open and feedback is appreciated!
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wiiildflowerrr · 5 months
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niallhoran: an Irishman walked into a dressing room
23 November 2014
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Another You
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.
Brad put his hand on her knee once more to stop her from the insistent habit. It was understandable how nervous she felt, but the longevity of her behaviour surprised the band. Yes, the song was one of the most personal they have written together, and yes, it was nerve wracking. But the ball of stress didn’t leave her chest since the first time they decided that it would be best to include her in the performance. It wasn’t even a big performance anyway, just a cosy party with fellow industry people and an acoustic little performance. It was a piece of cake, just to have fun.
Breath in, and then slowly out. She repeated to herself a couple of times, willing his non-existing lunch to go down. God, wasn’t she furious with herself, felt betrayed most of all. It was just a stupid performance, but she was still thinking about the person she wrote the song to. About how he would feel after hearing the lyrics, if he ever did obviously. Would he feel sad, like a blade was piercing through his heart, like how she felt every time she saw him with another? The tears starting to cloud her sight was the last thing she needed at the moment, so she looked up and tried to shoo the unpleasant thoughts away alongside the tears. Standing up and evening out the edges of her skirt she marched out of the room with confident steps. It was enough time she wasted on feeling sorry for everything. Now it was showtime. 
She walked over to the small table that held cocktails and fetched herself the brightest one with the umbrella, it was going to be a great night. The big room wasn’t much, a classic penthouse if you will, with a small area in the farther middle with some mic stands and enough space to fit a small-portioned band. Very cosy and cute if you asked her. Even though singing in front of everyone made her nauseated from the start, even though she had to agree that the feeling mostly went away, she got used to it with time. And the boys really helped, they have known each other for roughly three years. The first meeting happened again in one of the industry parties she attended with 5sos, luckily there was another boy band that consisted of goofy youngsters, if you may excuse her French.  It was safe to say they hit it off from the start, especially her and Brad. They never cut ties after that night, having exchanged numbers already.
Brad was a constant thing in her life. Even though it was hard to keep updated of each other’s life every day, they did a splendid job at never making it too long, whether it was just a simple ‘everything good?’ or just some stupid joke they thought was the funniest thing they heard. Everything became easy after that and suddenly Brad was her comfort person. There were some things she wouldn’t feel comfortable talking about if it wasn’t with him, and vice versa. Which brought them here, about to perform one of the most sentimental and heart-felt songs they have ever written, together or individually.
 Another you, was written after both of their monumental break ups, when she decided to stay in England for a few weeks to catch up and to mend her broken heart if she can. Then the song was born. It was a piano ballad, it was sad, but it was also hopeful in the way it promised them a start. It helped them get their head straight again, gave them a place to hold on to, a place to carry them forward. The alternative was to drown in their heartbreak and cry themselves to numbness with a bottle of wine, which really lost its appeal after a week of doing exactly that. So, one night, when they were basically having a battle on ‘who can talk more shit about the other’s ex’ they looked at each other and decided to stop feeling like that. They wasted enough time dwelling on them, but now was the time they understood the craziness of the situation. No one is irreplaceable. So, if it was not meant to be, there will always be someone else. (Or not obviously, she was all for being independent, but that is not the point now.)
Walking back to the boys with a new-found confidence in her steps was something she would be proud of later in the evening, alone. A soft smile placed itself on her face at the sight of her friends, warming their voices up while messing around. It was always astonishing to see bands that got on so well, their dynamics, their friendship and all the other bonuses. No one can deny the appeal of a band like One Direction but something about friends from the start really played with the strings of her heart. The lightning inside the room had a golden dim to it, just enough to give it the necessary luxurious vibe with the sincereness still intact. 
“Do you know when we’ll be on?” 
She asked, to no one in particular. “Probably in about half an hour.” Replied Tristan, while threading his fingers through his hair. Nice, she thought, enough to get mentally ready, but not enough to drive you mad. She gently sat on the small place next to Brad who was playing some specific chords and singing along. She joined him and reached out to the piano a little farther in front of her. Singing something she wrote always brought calmness and happiness to her, Making her feel extremely proud and causing her to disassociate from the real world. Her voice combined with Brad’s calm voice soothed her. Couple of other songs, some warm-up sessions later they started to move over to the little stage. Some with their instruments and the others with a couple of water bottles in hand. It was true that she was only going to be in one song, but the boys will be there for a small set of about four songs. She did a couple more of those breathing exercises to decrease her heartbeat. 
Brad was seated on the piano, next to him was her on a stool with a microphone in front of her. She arranged the mic stand to her height while others either checked their instruments one more time or took a sip of their water, she raised her head and caught Brad eying her with a giddy tinkle in his eyes. He raised a brow, asking if she was ready and smiled wildly when she replied with a small nod of her head. 
He cleared his throat and leaned into the mic that was attached to the piano in a charming, his hands sitting on top of his thighs. “Good evening, everyone.” He greeted everyone first. 
“I am Brad, and we are The Vamps, plus one. This is our dear friend Leighton. She is going to be singing our first song with us. The song is called Another You, Leighton and I wrote it a while back and felt like it was time we introduced it to the rest of you, the song is very dear to our hearts and…. Hope you enjoy it.”
He faced her one more time to assure, and then started the song after a countdown. The first line of the song burned a hole in her chest, the desperation in the first verse was just as touching every time she listened to Brad sing them. She was amazed by the way Brad put these together in mostly freestyle. They were so heartfelt that it felt wrong to share with the world, the exposure was real in this one.
“Am I to blame?
Is "leave me lonely" written on my face?
Did I try too hard to make you stay?
Guess I let my hopes get high again.”
She easily found herself closing her eyes and losing the feel of anything other than the lyrics. The possibility of Calum seeing this was high, but she didn’t care at the moment. She just wanted to express that she moved on too. That she didn’t care that much either, that it was time she got him out of her heart too. Because it was unfair, in her opinion, how he got to move on as fast as he did, leaving no choice for her but to suck it up and do the same. She was almost sure he was pretending but the knowledge didn’t make it hurt less unfortunately. 
“It took some time
For me to figure out that I'll be fine
Without you there to keep me warm at night
I guess you never were my ride-or-die”
She knew the part that would hurt the most was her dig to their tattoos, but she just simply couldn’t help herself. It felt like the heaviness behind them was something to get over. They were not a ride or die, maybe in the past, but not now. So, she wanted to make that clear, and hit it low. Feeling the tears pooling in her eyes once more while singing her verse, she forced her voice to get affected by the personal emotions. 
The song seemed to end too quickly once it started and she was almost startled back to reality with the sound of light claps. While a genuine smile appeared on her face she thanked them quietly and gave Brad a quick hug, wishing him good luck on the rest of their performance alongside the boys. She walked away slowly from the stage, trying to find a decent enough seat to sit. 
‘That went well’ she said to herself once seated comfortably, with a new bottle of water she fetched on the way. Her heartbeat slowly turned back to its normal pace since she was out of the spotlight now. And even if the word gets out and finds him, well then… It is what it is.
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lovesosweeet · 4 months
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KNOW IT ALL x THE BAND CAMINO
part 1
a calum hood songfic
Tillie Beckett isn’t known for sticking around, and maybe that’s why touring had come so naturally to her, even as an amateur when she first began as an opener for 5 Seconds of Summer a few years ago… hopping from city to city, bed to bed, hookup to hookup. She broke hearts and left messes behind. And she didn’t care about it all, too wrapped up in whatever whirlwind she found herself in next.
The habits became religion as she propelled to stardom. Her music — angsty, energetic, unapologetic, and unpolished — took the charts by storm following her self-titled album’s debut. Her words were raw and honest, and they resonated with her audience, with upbeat and electric sounds that even the grouchiest and grumpiest of listeners couldn’t help but nod along to. It was the perfect mix of relatable and catchy, and that’s what made her the perfect opener for 5SOS.
Ashton had found Tillie’s videos on Instagram, where she often teased her emotional and early versions of songs she was writing. Her raspy voice caught his attention quickly, and he became a follower very early on, before she’d gone viral… which, she has done several times now. When 5SOS was prepping their latest tour, he threw Tillie’s name out as his top choice as an opener, and the rest of the band quickly supported it after they watched her cover of their very own, very old song “Lost Boy” and put a fresh spin on it. It was a song that the band themselves had honestly forgotten about that she gave an entirely new life. They were hooked and called her just hours after Ashton’s initial suggestion to offer her the spot.
Her friendship with the Australian quartet was forged in what, at the time, seemed to be an unbreakable bond. She was invited to dinner at Luke’s house to review the plans, the money, and all the other logistics of the tour, but the nitty gritty was long forgotten as the five of them stayed up until the sun rose the next day, just talking, jamming, drinking, and smoking the stars out of the sky.
She and Calum weren’t instant friends, at least, not the way she was with Michael. Tillie and Michael had bonded instantly over being gamers with an affinity for ever changing hair colors. He could also dress in her wardrobe and no one would’ve been able to guess that they weren’t his clothes, that is, if her clothes were big enough to fit the 6-foot-something Australian giant, since she was a mere 5 feet tall.
But, her friendship with Michael isn’t what landed her on the cover of tabloids.
No, the pictures of hers and Calum’s necks covered in matching bruises were what landed on the homepages of gossip websites. The videos of her and Calum whispering in what they thought were private corners of dive bars spread like wildfire amongst their somewhat overlapping fan bases. Them stumbling down the cobblestoned sidewalks of Montreal, hand in hand, for an impromptu “bachelor party” for Michael littered their tagged photos on Instagram for weeks.
It was a pair nobody expected but nobody questioned. It wasn’t predictable but it made sense.
At least, it did to Calum.
part 2
my masterlist! :)
A/N: hi i’m actually quite stoked about this one?!?!! sorry to anyone who wanted a self insert i personally feel more comfy in the OC x RP world and that technically won my poll! feels easier to separate as fiction/“characters” :)
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5sosmerchshop · 1 year
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Title of yourJoining the 5SOSFam: A Beginner's Guide to Exploring the World of 5 Seconds of Summer new page
Are you ready to become part of the 5SOSFam? If you're a fan of pop-punk, catchy choruses, and four Aussie lads with charming accents, then it's time to dive into the world of 5 Seconds of Summer. From their early YouTube covers to their chart-topping albums and sold-out tours, there's plenty to discover and enjoy as a new member of this passionate fandom. Whether you're curious about their music, interested in getting involved in fan communities, or simply looking for some fun facts about Luke Hemmings' hair flips or Michael Clifford's guitar skills, this beginner's guide has got you covered. So grab your headphones and get ready for a crash course in all things 5SOS!
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5 Seconds of Summer, often shortened to 5SOS, is an Australian pop punk band that formed in 2011. The band consists of lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist Luke Hemmings, lead guitarist Michael Clifford, bassist Calum Hood, and drummer Ashton Irwin. The group signed with Capitol Records in 2013 and released their self-titled debut album the following year. 5SOS's second album, Sounds Good Feels Good, was released in 2015 and debuted at number one in Australia and the US.
The band's popularity has grown steadily since their formation, with their music receiving regular airplay on radio stations around the world. In addition to their success as a recording artist, 5SOS has also achieved success with their live performances. The band has toured extensively throughout Australia, Europe, North America, and Asia.
If you're interested in exploring the world of 5 Seconds of Summer, this guide will help you get started. We'll introduce you to the band's history, discography, and tour schedule. We'll also provide some tips on how to connect with other fans (known as the "SOSFam").
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If you're a fan of 5SOS, or if you're just curious about the band, there are plenty of ways to find more information about them. Here are some of the best places to look:
The band's official website is a great place to start. You can find news, tour dates, and merchandise here.
The band's Wikipedia page is also a good resource for general information about the group.
If you want to keep up with the latest 5SOS news, following the band on social media is a good idea. They have accounts on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
There are also several fan websites and forums dedicated to 5SOS. These can be a great place to interact with other fans and discuss your favorite band members, songs, etc.
How to Connect with the 5SOSFam
If you're new to the world of Seconds of Summer, or "5SOS", then you might be wondering how to connect with other fans, aka the "5SOSFam". Here are a few tips:
1. Social media is your friend. The band is very active on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram, so following them (and other fans) is a great way to stay up-to-date on news and events.
2. Check out fan websites and forums. There are lots of great places online where fans can connect with each other, discuss the band, and share photos and videos.
3. Attend concerts and meetups. Seeing the band live is obviously a must for any fan, but there are also often meetups and other events organized by fans where you can meet like-minded people in person.
4. Get involved in fandom activities. From making fan art to writing fan fiction, there are all sorts of ways to express your love for 5SOS - and you'll find lots of other fans who are happy to do the same!
What Kinds of Activities You Can Get Involved In
Seconds of Summer is a band made up of four Australian guys who enjoy making music and spending time with their fans. They've been around since 2011, and in that time, they've released three albums and toured the world multiple times. If you're a fan of Seconds of Summer, or if you're just curious about what they're all about, there are plenty of ways to get involved in their world.
One way to get involved is to follow them on social media. They're active on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook, and they regularly post updates about what they're up to. You can also sign up for their mailing list to get the latest news straight from the source.
If you want to see them in person, you can buy tickets to their concerts or meet-and-greet events. Or, if you're feeling really ambitious, you can try to win a contest where the prize is getting to hang out with them for a day.
Regardless of how you choose to get involved, remember that the most important thing is to have fun and enjoy yourself. The guys in Seconds of Summer are all about making great music and giving their fans an amazing experience, so dive in and make some memories!
Benefits of Joining the 5SOSFam
If you're a fan of Seconds of Summer, then you know that the 5SOSFam is a big deal. The 5SOSFam is the name given to the group of dedicated fans who support the band and follow their every move.
Joining the 5SOSFam has its perks. For one, you'll always be up-to-date on all things Seconds of Summer. You'll also get access to exclusive content, like behind-the-scenes photos and videos, as well as early access to tickets and merch.
But perhaps the best benefit of being part of the 5SOSFam is that you'll make lifelong friends who share your passion for Seconds of Summer. So what are you waiting for? Join the 5SOSFam today!
Tips for Staying Active in the Community
There are a few things to keep in mind when it comes to staying active in the SOSFam community. First and foremost, be respectful to other members of the community and follow the rules set forth by the admins. Secondly, don't be afraid to share your love for Seconds of Summer! Whether it's posting pictures, sharing articles, or simply talking about the band, let your fandom shine through.
Thirdly, take advantage of all the great resources that the SOSFam has to offer. The forums are a great place to start discussions and get to know other fans. The wiki is also a wealth of information on everything Seconds of Summer. And last but not least, don't forget to check out the tours section – there's always something going on with Seconds of Summer, so stay up-to-date on the latest!
Conclusion
Joining the 5SOSFam is a great way to explore and engage with the world of 5 Seconds Of Summer. With so many resources available, it's easy to get started and learn more about their music, videos, live shows, merchandise, and fans. Whether you are an old fan or a new one just getting into the band - joining this amazing community has something for everyone! So why not take the plunge today and join in on all the fun?
"Get ready to show off your love for 5SOS with our wide range of merch options at https://5sosmerch.shop/that are sure to impress any fan!"
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emotional-blender · 4 years
Text
masterlist
just a quick note: these are all rife with typos. i write a lot on my phone and even when i proofread things end up all over the place and tumblr doesn’t like to save when i edit them out sometimes so that’s just the way she goes now. please excuse them. i’ll try to keep this as updated as i can but i’m the laziest person so... no promises. 
mostly just please know if you’re reading my nonsense, i love and appreciate you. and if you would like to be added to my taglist, just send a message or an ask and i’d be happy to add you! 
dad!calum you never wanted kids.  crying it out. tantrum. new baby.  hungry hungry hippos. (smut)
nurse!calum fatigue. timid. chicken pox.
calum haring a bed. (smut) prompt, you give the best hugs: one (untitled), two (the dance). whole world’s gonna know. (smut) calum’s hands the first time. (smut, ass eating)
luke anxiety. you're fucking ridiculous. mania fuck you, birthda boy (smut, pegging)
michael morning voices and light sensitivity,
ashton plumbing (ashton/indigenus!oc)
cashton pillows (smut, poly!caston)
cake just a... concept (poly!smut)
last updated: august 17, 2020
just a quick note: these are all rife with typos. i write a lot on my phone and even when i proofread things end up all over the place and tumblr doesn’t like to save when i edit them out sometimes so that’s just the way she goes now. please excuse them. i’ll try to keep this as updated as i can but i’m the laziest person so... no promises. 
mostly just please know if you’re reading my nonsense, i love and appreciate you. and if you would like to be added to my taglist, just send a message or an ask and i’d be happy to add you! 
dad!calum you never wanted kids.  crying it out. tantrum. new baby.  hungry hungry hippos. (smut)
nurse!calum fatigue. timid. chicken pox.
calum haring a bed. (smut) prompt, you give the best hugs: one (untitled), two (the dance). whole world’s gonna know. (smut) calum’s hands the first time. (smut, ass eating)
luke anxiety. you're fucking ridiculous. mania fuck you, birthda boy (smut, pegging)
michael morning voices and light sensitivity,
ashton plumbing (ashton/indigenus!oc)
cashton pillows (smut, poly!caston)
cake just a... concept (poly!smut)
last updated: august 17, 2020
390 notes · View notes
calumance · 1 year
Note
mama hood being a chaperone for one of aidens school trips where they go away for a few days so calls at home with lil logan, maybe he’s toddler aged at this point, and they just have the time of their lives cause as we know, logan is obsessed with calum, and he’s just so happy to be with him cause cals been working so much and he’s not home too often
I went to "outdoor ED" when I was in middle school, and that's where I pictured mama had taken Aiden, that's not really established here, that was just the first thing that popped into my head 😂😂😂
WELCOME BACK HOOD FAMILY.
            It had been about fifteen minutes since Logan had fallen asleep on Calum’s chest. Calum’s legs were crisscrossed allowing Logan’s body weight to rest on his right leg. It was when Calum felt that deep sigh that he knew Logan was out like a light. A smile stretched across his face as he reached his free hand up towards the little guys back and gently rubbed up and down before resting his cheek on the top of his head. Calum closed his eyes out of contentment for a split second before he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket.
            Carefully, he moved his body so he could pull his phone out of his pocket without waking Logan. When he looked at the screen seeing his wife’s name and the request to FaceTime, he smiled, although slightly confused. He slid his finger across the screen to answer and held the phone up. “Why, hello, my love. I wasn’t sure you were going to have signal?”
            “Ah, you see, there’s Wi-Fi here,” She took a sip of wine, “for the adults.” Her lips stretched into the most glorious smile as she laughed and then looked at something on the other side of her phone. “They also have alcohol and a specific lounge for chaperones.” When she shrugged and took another sip of wine, Calum laughed. “How’s everything at home? Good?”
            Calum looked down at Logan who was still deeply asleep, then back at the phone. “Everything is great here.” Calum then moved the phone to show Logan’s sleeping form and he heard his wife on the other end of the phone coo. “Tuckered him out I guess.”
            “Tell me what guys have been doing, and then I’ll tell you all about Aiden’s trip.” She said while raising her eyebrows. Calum smiled and looked down at little Logan before telling all of what they’ve done the past two days.
            Aiden and his mom left before Logan woke up. Calum was sitting at the dining room table in front of his laptop with his headphone on, drinking a cup of coffee, when Logan slowly padded his way into the room. Calum was quick to remove his headphones and summon Logan over to him. Logan rubbed the sleep from his eyes as Calum lifted him onto his leg, “Daddy, where’s mama?”
            “She left with brother, remember it’s just us this weekend.” Calum ran the back of his fingers down Logan’s soft cheek.
            Hearing that, Logan perked up and his eyes twinkled. “Just you and me?” Calum nodded then rested his forehead on Logan’s. “Can we do something fun?” He had another twinkle in his eyes.
            “What do you want to do, son? This weekend is all about you, and me.” Calum wiggled a finger on Logan’s side, causing the boy to giggle and squirm in his grip.
            Logan finally caught his breath and looked into Calum’s eyes. “I wanna swim with Daddy.” It broke Calum’s heart. The reality is that every summer Calum is on tour, Logan has never had a chance to enjoy the pool with him, only with his mom and Aiden.
            Calum let an empathetic smile stretch across his face, “Of course, let go put our swimmers on.” Together, they made their way up the stairs. Calum helped Logan change and then Logan followed Calum across the hall and sat on the edge of the bed while Calum changed. Once they were both in the correct swimming attire, they made their way to the backyard. Calum found Logan’s pool floatie and tossed it into the pool. Holding onto Logan, they both dipped into the pool. After Calum grabbed the floatie he placed Logan in it and started to drift through the pool with him. They splashed each other and played with some toys they had lying around until Logan was bored with swimming.
            They both changed into dry clothes and Calum sat Logan at the table with a coloring book while he prepared lunch. Calum looked up from his preparations to look at Logan. He was humming to himself with a marker in his hand while he swung his legs back and forth, happily scribbling on the page. After lunch was ready, Calum sat next to his son and they ate together, something they didn’t do very often, and almost as suddenly Calum had that thought, so did Logan, “Daddy?” Calum hummed in response, “you work too much.” Calum froze, than after a second focused his attention on Logan. “You never spend time with me, because you’re working.”
            Calum was pretty sure people could hear his heart shatter across the globe. “I know, baby, and I’m sorry. But I have to work to take care of you and brother and Mama.”
            “But can’t you take care of us by staying home?” It was then that Logan looked up from what he was doing, into Calum’s eyes, effectively destroying what was left of Calum’s heart.
            Calum wasn’t prepared for this. Aiden wasn’t bonded to him like Logan was. Aiden never asked these questions. Calum looked away from Logan and took a deep breath to try to gather his thoughts, “The only way I can stay home is if I work. If I don’t work, then we wouldn’t have all the things we have now.”
            “But you’d always be home.” Logan cut him off.
            His head dropped, why was he so bad at this? His wife would know just what to say if she was here. “I’m sorry I’m not home, Logan, but I’m home now, and it’s just you and me this weekend. We can do anything we want.”
            Logan’s head popped up, “Anything?” Calum nodded with a smile.
            A devious smile stretched across Logan’s face, and with that smile led to a day full of doing anything Logan wanted. Including going to the movies, playing on the playground in the park down the street, going to the mall, and getting ice cream. By the time they were on their way home, Calum couldn’t understand how Logan wasn’t exhausted, Calum was. Calum glanced in the rearview mirror, Logan was strapped into his car seat, the radio was playing, and Logan kicked his feet back and forth, singing along to the song that was on the radio. Calum smiled to himself before looking back to the road, as much as he hates to admit it, he wished he was home more too.
            It was about nine in the evening when Calum was finally able to get Logan to go to sleep. Figuring that he hadn’t taken a nap he’d sleep all the way through the night. After closing the door, Calum headed to the studio to get to work on some songs Michael had sent him.
            All four of the band members were on a zoom video working out some songs about an hour after Calum had put Logan to bed. They were trying their hardest to work through a song that no one could get onto the same page with. Calum was frustrated, and honestly reaching the point of pure exhaustion. With a frustrated sigh, he leaned back and took his headphones off, resting them around his neck. Almost at that exact moment, he heard a tiny cry from down the hall. “Fuck, hold on guys.” Calum said aloud as he removed the headphones completely before rushing to open the door.
            When he opened the door, he found Logan standing in the middle of the hallway, hands pressed to his eyes, tears rolling down his cheeks. Calum rushed kneel in front of Logan, “What’s wrong, why aren’t you in bed, baby?” Calum was quick to wipe the tears off Logan’s face. 
            Logan took a few labored breaths before attempting to speak, “I th-thougt you were i-in your room, a-and you weren’t.”
            Calum enveloped Logan into his arms and coaxed his head to his shoulder before walking Logan back to the studio. He sat back down in his chair, Logan still crying hysterically against his shoulder. “Give me a minute, guys.” Calum said before muting his microphone. Calum continued to comfort his crying son before Logan finally fell silent. “Want to stay with daddy while he works?” Logan nodded against his shoulder. With that, Calum put on his headphones and motioned towards the guys that he was back. “I have a guest joining me for the rest of the night.”
            It was like Logan wasn’t even there, the only difference was Calum couldn’t get to his bass, but everyone worked around it. Eventually, Logan fell asleep, and eventually it was late enough that everyone called it a night. As Calum was walking down the hallway, he paused. Normally, it was at this time that he would put Logan in his own bed and go cuddle the woman who shares his bed, but she wasn’t here. They were both missing her, and he knew it. So, instead of dropping Logan in his own bed, Calum turned to his own room and took Logan with him. That night, they both slept in the ‘big bed’ as Logan called it when he got a chance to be in it.
            When Calum woke up, he made sure to make Logan and him a big breakfast and do everything he wanted. Together, they played board games, watched Logan’s favorite TV shows and movies, made his favorite food, swam in the pool some more, took Duke for a walk around the neighborhood, made his favorite dinner, then finally settled on the couch to watch Logan’s favorite movie, Cars. “And that catches us up to this moment when you called me.” Calum says with a chuckle.
            “Please tell me you’re still watching Cars.” She says as the wine glass touches her lips.
            “The remote is too far away to change it.”
            “Don’t lie, you like it too.”
            “Shut up.” She laughed a hearty laugh and Calum chuckled along with her. “I miss you.” 
            “I miss you too, honey.” She said as she sat forward and looked at the phone with incredible seriousness. 
            Calum smiled and looked down at Logan and kissed the side of his head, “Tell me about Aiden’s trip, love.” With that, she smiled and wiggled to get comfortable and started explaining her last two days. Calum closed his eyes to listen to her talk, absolutely content with his life. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't really have a tag list anymore? So imma just tag my number 1 friend @talkfastromance4
If anyone wants to be added back to my tag list (I'm going to start writing more on the weekends) Please send me a message 😊
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hoodharlow · 2 years
Text
Comeplete
Complete
AN: it's been a while since I wrote and posted anything. Idk where this was going, but it went somewhere lmao. A tyyy for @kindahoping4forever​ that smut tip <3333
Requested? No
Warnings: hella smut (use of sextoys and spanking), angst, James Corden being a messy bitch that results in an argument, mentions of pregnancy (spoiler no is expecting) and mentions of making another sex tape :)
Word Count: 6k words
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Claudia lost count by the time her brand new vibrator ran out of battery. She laid naked and breathless, as Calum pulled the toy out of her and tossed it on the ground. It was a rabbit vibrator with a thrusting feature that she had her eyes on for a while, but she never had the time to get it. After mentioning to her ruthless boyfriend of almost three years a few weeks back that she planned on getting said toy, she wasn't surprised to find discreet packaging at their doorstep. She got flashbacks from the night before of him telling her that he wanted to try out the toy on her. She wasn't expecting him to want to use it the second they woke up.
"You did so good, pretty girl," Calum said, kissing her neck. He hovered over her, trying his best not to giggle. "You sure did make a… complete mess."
Claudia groaned at the poorly executed pun. "I would push you off me, but you gave me so many orgasms, to the point that I can't move. You broke my body."
"Let me make it up to you." He said, kissing down her jaw.
Calum sat on his knees and slipped off his shirt. He tossed it to the side before towering over her once more. A giggle escaped Claudia when he sponged kisses all over her face. She pulled his lips back to hers and wrapped her leg over his waist, helping her stay balanced as she grinded herself against him.
"You know for someone who was complaining that they had one too many orgasms, you sure are being needy, pretty girl." He commented before pushing himself down her body.
Claudia whimpered in response, making him chuckle. He placed soft kisses on the insides of her thighs. She squirmed at the feeling of his lips. They got closer and closer to where she needed him the most. She let out an inaudible gasp of pleasure when Calum sucked her clit. She tried closing her legs, but his grip on them kept her in place. He softly moaned at her taste and savored her, taking his time with his tongue. He pushed one of her legs to her chest, giving him better access to her.
He inserted another while he pressed his thumb on her clit. Claudia felt something build up in her. She felt pleasantly overwhelmed with Calum’s fingers and tongue, and he felt it too. He sped up his fingers and circled his thumb on her clit roughly. He lapped up her release. He dropped her legs down and laid next to her.
Claudia eyed the tent on Calum's pajama pants. "I can take another." She mumbled. "Or I can suck your dick."
He sat up and said, "I thought you couldn't move?"
"You can move my head to the edge of the bed and have your way with my mouth."
"That sounds like too much work just to have my dick sucked." He reasoned. "I'll take care of it in the bathroom."
Before he got up from bed, Claudia dramatically rolled on her stomach and pushed her ass up in the air. She wiggled her ass, taunting him. "It ain't gonna fuck itself."
He gave her ass a hard slap and took his time taking off his boxers. He lined himself up with Claudia’s entrance. With one hand on her hip, he used the other to guide his cock. He rubbed his length up and down her slit. He slowly entered her. Calum used both hands to grip her hips. He leaned down, pulling Claudia’s back to his chest as he kissed her shoulder. He slowly started thrusting his hips, letting her get used to him. He shifted his hips as he thrusted into her. The new angle hitting her in the spot that made her a moaning mess.
“Please, fuck—” Claudia moaned out, not being able to finish what she was saying.
She pushed back rougher to meet his thrusts. He gripped her hips with one hand while the other went down to her clit. Calum worked his fingers roughly as he pushed his hips into Claudia.
He buried his face in her neck, kissing her sweet spot. Her quiet praises filled the room, egging him on. She quietly whimpered his name, lazily meeting his thrusts before her orgasm took over. Calum followed soon after. With a few thrusts, he pushed himself deep inside Claudia, spilling every last drop in
"Now look at who made a complete mess of himself." She said when he pulled out if her.
"It was a team effort, Claudia."
***
Claudia watched as Luke entered the band’s green room. He pressed himself against the wall and shuffled his feet, attempting to be stealthy as he made his way to her. He tripped over her laptop charger, making the other guys look over at them. They all looked at him weird then went back on their phones. He finally reached her and sat next to her on the couch she was on.
He pulled out a canvas bag from his jacket and placed it on her head. “Mission accomplished.”
“Thank you,” she said, neatly folding the bag and placing it in her backpack.
She had sent him to go out to give out some cookies to the other guest and to James Corden. She would have given them out, but part of her was scared that James would have brought up her youtube video of her reacting/commenting on Cinderella where she called the movie, specifically James, an abomination. Her video went viral after that and James even brought it up on his show and, jokingly, she hoped, said that she should watch her back. Calum had seen the video and didn’t even want her to come, but Claudia reassured him that the video was months ago and that if James had the audacity to say something to her, it would just prove how pathetic he is.
“What are you doing?” Luke asked, laying his head on the table. Gia wasn’t with them, her sister was doing some photoshoot and she needed to be there, but she’s going to come when they record the episode.
“Making the cover for the video we did.” she said, clicking through screen grabs of her and Luke from the video to make a cover page for the video.
Over the weekend they watched the fourth Fast and Furious, and in Claudia's opinion the second best of the franchise. They watched the first one and after that a bunch of her subscribers asked if they could continue the rest of the movies. So they started a mini series on Claudia's channel where they watched the other two films (both of them agreed that 2Fast 2Furious doesn't count because it was a mini spin-off of the series that did nothing along with the spin-off with the Rock and the other bald white guy).
The first ten minutes of their video were of Claudia doing figure eights in Luke's cherry red Porsche, with him in the car, to prove that she wasn't a bad driver as her brothers and Calum claimed. That ended with Luke getting out of the car and throwing up in the recycling bin off camera. Then it jumped to the video sponsor and started the film.
“I like that one.” Luke said pointing at the one very end.
It was one of him fully taking up the camera whilst Claudia was out of the frame.
“Of course you do, but I have to be in it since it’s my channel.”
“You’re just jealous that people will only watch it because I'm in your video.”
“Please, you have over 200k subscribers.”
“No, we have at least 7 million subscribers.”
“5SOS does, but you, Luke Hemmings, only have 200k subscribers.”
“How many do you have?”
“2 million.”
“Cal, your girlfriend is being mean to me.” Luke called to Calum, getting up to go to him.
Claudia saved everything and went after him. “Cal, Luke's being mean to me because he's jealous for not having the same number of subscribers as I do.” she said in the same tone, but in a soft voice. She walked over to where Calum was with Michael and Ashton. She shoved Luke, who sat next to Calum, and curled up against him.
“I have a question.” Calum said, ignoring them.
Claudia laid her head on his lap and looked up at him in confusion. She reached for one of his hands so he could play with her hair while the other relaxed on her stomach.
“Would you rather not laugh for the rest of your life or would you rather not poop but you still have the urge to poop?”
“So I have the urge to poop forever?” Michael asked.
“Yeah,” Calum nodded.
"I rather not poop, but still have the urge to poop." Claudia said without even thinking twice. "Having to poop when you're on your period is the worst."
Michael and Luke grimaced at the mention of periods while Calum rolled his eyes at them. Ashton made some honking sounds, distracting everyone else. Then they moved onto another hypothetical question so Claudia got up and went back to editing her video. She decided on a selfie of them in Luke's car before she started driving.
She was finishing some last minute details when she got a message from her phone. She read the message over and over, not sure how to respond. She was so distracted that she didn't hear Calum call her name, until he tickled her side.
"We're about to head out to Zach's studio." He said.
"Uh, actually, I have to get home and check on Bali and Duke. I'm gonna order an Uber. But I'll be back when you guys come back here." She said nervously, avoiding making eye contact with him. She nodded eagerly. "Yeah that's…that's what I'm gonna do…"
Calum looked at her weird, unsure why she suddenly got so nervous. He wondered what the message she got said because he noticed it completely changed her mood. She looked sick to her stomach, like she would rather be somewhere else.
"You alright?" He asked her in a quiet tone,  reaching for her hand.
"Yeah!" She smiled.
He knew that smile. It's her 'I'm being polite, but I hate it here' smile. And she was still avoiding looking him in the eye. He fished out his car keys and handed them to her.
"Here," he said.
"You're trusting her with that beast you call a car?" Luke exclaimed.
Claudia flipped him off and took the car keys. She packed up her things and went with Calum to where he parked their car. He helped her place her things and leaned against the driver's door. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and pulled him down into a reassuring kiss. She relaxed into him, giggling as he roughly squeezed her ass with both hands.
"Ponte empaz, your fans could see us." She mumbled against his lips, reminding him that since they arrived there was a swarm of fans waiting to see them.
Calum chuckled and kissed her once more, giving her ass another hard smack. She climbed in the car. Seconds later she drove off. He tensed up, hearing how the tires squeaked against the asphalt when she sped off. He turned back and saw the look Luke had. It was the same look he had when he got out of the car after Claudia drove around in his car.
"I just got flashbacks and need to sit down before I get sick." Luke murmured.
***
Calum watched Claudia as the band waited for their turn to get called on stage for their interview with James. She sat in the corner on her phone. Her expression was unreadable. It's been like that since she got back from checking on their dogs. He tried getting her alone to ask her what's bothering her, but every time he tried to lure her outside one of the guys joked that they can't go and have a quickie.
He grabbed a snack for them to share and went to sit with her. He gave her thigh a gentle squeeze, letting her know of his presence. He threw his arm over her shoulders, bringing her onto his side. Claudia shifted around, put her legs across his lap and rested her head on his chest.
"You okay?" He asked softly.
"Yeah, just thinking about school stuff." She said, closing her eyes.
"She probably gave me the bad batch." James' voice came from the flat screen in the green room. "Luke said so."
Everyone turned to look at Luke, who had the same look of horror as the others.
"That fucking rat! I didn't say that what the fuck." Luke cursed. He turned to Claudia. "I handed him the container and said that I saved the best batch for him. Honest."
Michael and Ashton began talking strategy on how to get back at James for putting Luke on blast.
Calum turned to Claudia. "You gave him cookies?"
"Yeah, I was being nice. My mom always says to bring something to someone when you go over." She shrugged.
"You should have known better than to bake him cookies."
Claudia scoffed. "So it's my fault that a man pushing fifty can't handle an opinion about his shitty movie?"
"No!" He whisper-yelled so the others wouldn't hear them. He sighed, "We don't need this drama right now, Claudia."
"Are you fucking serious?"
Before Calum could explain himself, a crew member popped their head in the room letting them know that they're needed on stage. Claudia rolled her eyes and lifted her legs off him so he could follow the band out.
"You okay?" Gia asked her, taking Calum's seat.
"Yeah, that guy is a fucking asshole." Claudia smiled. She pulled out her phone, pulling up her messages. "So I thought I only sent this picture of me and Cal at the photo area to just my parents, but apparently I sent it to the group chat that includes my brothers. So now Danny and Junior are saying that Cal looks like he belongs to Los Bukis or Bronco because of his mullet."
She showed Gia pictures that her brothers sent to the group chat. They photoshopped Calum into a bunch of group pictures of Los Bukis and Bronco.
"They're so stupid." Gia snorted. "But they're not wrong."
From the TV they heard James announce that he was with 5sos. But before he could interview them, Michael placed the container of cookies Claudia made. It was unopened and had a name tag with ‘James' name written neatly in an olive green marker.
"So we ate the snacks that James provided, but Luke and I found this in the photo booth." Michael said. He turned to James. "Do you mind if we snack on some? It's unopened."
"Wait, how do you know you got a bad batch of cookies without opening it?" Ashton asked James.
"Great question mate." Calum nodded, reaching for a cookie.
The other three took a cookie each for themselves. Michael made a joke about how Ashton planned ahead and got milk. He dramatically dunked his cookie in it. Luke, Michael and Calum cheered, using the cookie and turned to James, waiting for his next move. The tv host plastered a smile and reached for a cookie, taking a bite.
It was obvious he liked the cookie. The way his eyes closed as he quietly groaned. He took another bite and asked about the trip to Joshua Tree where they wrote 'Complete Mess.' A few minutes later James called to commercials so the crew could set up the stage for the performance.
Calum went backstage to check on Claudia and found her curled up on the couch. He grabbed their blanket that he takes everywhere in case he wanted to catch a quick nap to recharge and draped it over her. He lingered in the doorway until Ashton nodded his head to head over to the stage.
The band performed their song. The others stayed back to talk to James, but Calum quickly shook his hand and went to check on Claudia. But he found her sitting up and nodding along to whatever Gia was telling her, covered in the blanket like a cloak.
Once everyone got back to the greenroom they packed up their things and went to their cars.
They all talked in the parking lot agreeing where to go eat and celebrate for a successful performance. Claudia was half paying attention trying to find an Uber since she wasn't going to go with them.
"Why are you getting an Uber?" Calum asked her, catching her screen reflect off his car's tinted windows.
"Because I'm going to wherever y'all are going." She said, "I have to be up early tomorrow and I'm in no mood to go out."
"Oh, okay. Let me tell them that we'll hang out some other time." He said holding the door open for her.
"You can go with them if you want. I'm taking an Uber." She insisted.
"Well I'd rather be with you, let's go home."
"Just go with them. I can take an Uber."
"Claudia I'm not going to let you get in a car when I can just drive us home."
"Who are you to 'let me' do things? I'm a fucking adult–"
"Get in the fucking car, Claudia." Calum seethed loud enough for the others to hear him.
"Everything alright?" Luke asked them.
"Yeah," Claudia mumbled, getting in the car and slamming the door shut.
She closed her eyes, fighting back tears. Calum has never spoken to her like that. Even in the rare disagreement where they let their stubbornness take over, he remained calm. Sure he's spoken loudly to but never with such demand or annoyance.
She took a deep breath as he climbed in the car. The car ride home was silent. Tension filled the car in the most uncomfortable way. Not even the music playing was able to put them at ease.
They arrived home soon after. Claudia grabbed her things and walked in. She went straight to the kitchen. Calum followed behind her.
"What's your fucking problem?" He asked her.
"Are you fucking kidding me?!" She snapped.
"What?"
"You've been acting like an jerk ever since the fucking cookies. Then you tell me to get in the fucking car and now you're what my fucking issue is?"
"You’ve been acting weird all day–even before all that. Every time I ask you what's wrong, you give me a vague answer. Then you get all stubborn with me."
"That doesn't give you a right to talk to me like that." Claudia’s voice cracked.
"I'm aware. It just–"
"If you were aware, you wouldn't have spoken to me like that." She said quietly. She sighed, flexing her fingers against the counter, before looking at him. "I'm going to bed, I have a busy day."
"Claudia, we can't end the conversation like this." Calum said, stopping her from leaving the kitchen.
"I know,but honestly I really don't like you at this moment."
She gently pushed his hand away and walked out. Calum stayed back, knowing he needed to give her her space. She was right, he had no right to talk down to her like that. He saw the hurt in her eyes when she told him that she didn't like him.
He cursed and went to check on the dogs. He found them laying on their bellies by their bowls. Calum whistled at them to follow him. He opened the door and let them do their business so he can give them dinner.
After that he went to the kitchen and heated up some leftovers for him and made a grilled cheese for Claudia. He ate his food then flipped the sandwich onto a plate. He placed it on a tray along with some salad and a glass of agua de jamaica. He took advantage of Bali and Duke being busy eating and took the tray upstairs. He went into their bedroom and found it empty. But then he heard her voice down the hall in her room/office where she studied when she pulled all nighters.
The door was slightly ajar. Claudia had her back to the door, curled up, leaning against the bed's headboard. He nudged it open, not wanting to interrupt her phone call. He noticed that she changed out of the cut-out dress into her USC hoodie and matching yellow shorts.
"It's not an ideal time, mami." Claudia said tearfully to her mum who was on the other end of the phone. "I know…we talked about back when we were in London. We agreed to wait because he's going to be touring for the rest of the year."
Calum's stomach dropped. She couldn't be.
"Obvio, he's my partner and I'm gonna ask for his opinion but in the end the decision is mine… I found out today…it just wasn't a good time to tell him. He had an interview then he was going to perform. I wasn't going to pile on my shit–sorry– my issues onto him when he’s supposed to be focused…I have a few weeks to decide…okay bye. Me saludas papi. Yo también te quiero."
Calum watched her toss her phone on the bed and hug her knees, her soft cries filling the room. He looked down the tray and went downstairs. He packed up her dinner for tomorrow's lunch, knowing she wasn't hungry. He cleaned up trying to distract himself, but it didn't work.
There's no way Claudia could be pregnant. He knew she wasn't late. She got her period just last week and he remembered her saying that it was sexist that she's on her period on the first day of women's history month. He even remembered going to three grocery stores to find strawberry cheesecake ice cream. But then he remembered that he read somewhere that sometimes people can get their period because there was an excess of– well he didn't remember what, but he knew there was a possibility.
He cursed. He acted like a complete asshole to Claudia while she was being considerate, not wanting to distract him and he made her feel like shit. All he could do was wait for her to tell him when she was ready.
***
Calum and Claudia haven't spoken to each other in days (it was now Friday).
Claudia would leave early to school and come home late at night after spending hours in the library working on her thesis and prepping for the classes she taught. Calum wasn't home as much either. He spent most of his days with the guys practicing for their tour. Though today the band decided to have the afternoon off.
Calum wasn't surprised that Claudia wasn't home. He spotted the list of things they needed from Target and decided to get them along with doing other errands. A few hours later he was back home. He put everything away and got started on dinner.
Since it was lent, he knew not to make anything with meat because on Fridays meat wasn't eaten. Claudia wasn't the most religious but she still observed lent. So Calum decided to make a veggie lasagna for them.
He placed the lasagna in the oven when he heard the front door. He heard Claudia greet their dogs. Then she walked in the kitchen.
"Oh, you're home." She said surprised.
"Uh yeah, we decided to take the afternoon off. You're home early too." He said.
"Yeah, I felt a little under the weather and came home."
"I made a veggie lasagna for dinner. Unless you want to eat something else."
"No, that's great. I've been craving lasagna for a while." She gave him a toothless smile. She pointed to the walkway that went upstairs. "I'm going to change."
Calum nodded.
He cursed once she was out of earshot. She was pregnant. The clues were right there: she felt under the weather and had cravings. Not to mention yesterday morning he heard her throwing up in the bathroom before she left for school.
A few minutes later Claudia came back down. She was dressed in the 'Complete Mess' cropped tank top from the band's recent merch drop but she stayed in the black tennis skirt she wore out. Calum cursed watching her ass peek out with every step she took and how pert her nipples were against the cropped tank top, but he composed himself seeing pour herself some wine.
"Are you supposed to be drinking that given your condition?" He found himself asking her.
Claudia furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "What condition?"
"You know," he motioned a pregnant belly with his hands.
"No I don't?"
"You're…you know…expecting."
Claudia’s eyes widened in horror when she realized what he meant. "I'm not pregnant!"
"You're not? But I heard you tell your mum."
Claudia cursed. She set her wine glass down and wiped the sweat off her hands.
"Okay, I think we need to talk."
She pressed her hands down on the counter and pushed herself up on the counter.
"Okay first, I want to apologize for being a fucking dick and talking to you like that. I promise that it's the first and last time I ever do that. And I'm sorry." Calum quickly said.
"I forgive you." She said, reaching for his hands. "But I really have to tell you something."
"If you're not pregnant, you must be sick. Though that wouldn't explain why you said it wasn't convenient. Illnesses aren't known for being convenient–"
"I got a job offer!" She blurted out in an annoyed tone, wanting him to stop talking about babies.
"Oh that's a relief," he sighed. "But why were you so off the other day?"
"If you let me get a word in, I'll tell you why." She deadpanned.
"Oh, sorry." Calum smiled shyly.
"I applied last summer so it was way before we had our talk in London. I completely forgot about it until a few weeks ago when I got an email with a link and a time that my interview was. Then a few days ago I got an email that I got the job."
"But that doesn't explain why you were acting so off."
Claudia took a deep breath. "The job is in San Francisco and I accept it, I'm going to spend most of the summer there for training."
"Oh."
"Yeah…that's why I didn't tell you then. It's a lot to process and…where are you going?" She asked, watching him pull away and leave the kitchen.
He came back seconds later with his Mac. He placed it next to her and began typing. She looked over and saw him pull up Zillow.
"What's the school's address?" He asked her.
"Why?"
"So we can find a place." He said as if it was that obvious.
"What do you mean?" Claudia still didn't get it.
"What, you think you can get rid of me that easily? Wherever you are, I'll be there. Tour is only for a few months, after that I'm yours."
"But your life is here in LA? You can't just leave."
"Yes I can. Honestly, I never liked how exposed LA is. Whilst San Francisco is also a big city, it feels a bit more private. I won't sell this place so when I come down to work on music with the band, I can stay here. When I'm not needed, I'll be with you because that's where I'm meant to be."
Claudia's eyes brimmed with tears. "I love you."
"I love you, too." He smiled brightly. He brushed the few stray tears and pulled her into a chaste kiss. "Okay so what's the address because I'm thinking of getting us a place with a view of the Golden Gate Bridge."
"Why that view?"
"Because I plan to fuck with every morning with that view."
***
After dinner, Calum scrolled through TikTok while Claudia read. They had the first Fast and Furious playing in the background. He stopped at a fan edit of Claudia doing Anitta's Envolver challenge, but zooming in solely on him. He didn't know he was in the frame, and he assumed Claudia didn't either because she rarely posted him on tiktok. And when she does, she lets him know. In the video he was holding Duke when he caught sight of Claudia shaking her ass in a plank position. The video zoomed in on him biting his lip and mouthing out 'fuck' as he concentrated on her ass.
He looked over to Claudia. She laid on the couch, propping one leg on top of the back part while her other leg rested on his lap. That was when he noticed her lack of panties.
"I can feel you staring." She said, slipping a bookmark in the book, to mark off where she left off, and placing it on the coffee table.
"Did you wear panties to school?" He asked her.
Claudia rolled her eyes. "Obviously, I wasn't gonna let anyone see my goods, other than you of course. I took them off when I changed shirts. I'm surprised you just noticed though. You have a spidey sense when it comes to me not wearing any."
Calum smirked as he hovered over her. He did have 6th sense. But that was mostly she would rub herself against him in the passing and he'd feel the lack of panties. Sometimes he was a bit more adventurous and slipped his hand to tease her.
"Did you listen to a word I said?" She asked.
"No, sorry. I was to busy thinking of fucking you with my fingers." He shamelessly said, draping her leg in his thigh so he had easier access to her.
"I was asking if you wanted to make another video of us."
"Are you sure?"
"Nothing too elaborate, just us on the couch doing what we do best."
"Fuck yeah!"
"Okay, let me get the GoPro."
Claudia pushed him off and went to their room. A few minutes later she came back and set up the GoPro on the coffee table. She did a few test videos, so she can get them fully on the couch. Once she figured it out, Calum pulled her back on the couch.
She took off her top and laid on her back while he did the same, but laid on his side. He gave her hips a gentle squeeze before he slid his hands up to her breasts. His thumbs delicately ran over her pert nipples as she melted into his hands. Without pulling away from their kiss, Calum helped her out of her skirt and tossed it to the growing pile of clothes.
One of his hands made its way back to her hips and lazily ran his finger tips around her core, sending her goosebumps all over. With the other, he balanced himself so he wouldn't squish her.
Claudia gasped feeling his ring and middle finger inside of her. Calum pressed his thumb to her clit and sped up his fingers. She whined and placed her head on his shoulder.
"Eyes on me, pretty girl." He said.
She moaned as his fingers fucked into her at a deliciously slow pace. As if her hips had a mind of their own, they followed Calum’s fingers. In a matter of minutes she was close.
“Cal-”
“I know, pretty girl.” He pressed his thumb against her clit and increased his pace.
“Sh-Calum.” She climaxed.
Calum’s fingers were still in her. He pushed himself up, hovering over her. He deftly rubbed her clit with his thumb as he made his way down her body. His mouth went straight to her breasts. He gently nipped under them, kissing her tattoos while his free hand was on her nipples, twisting and rubbing them. His tongue traced her pert peaks, egging her on.
Claudia whined loudly. She was so overwhelmed, desperate for some sort of relief.
Calum chuckled. He pushed himself off her. Pulling her in a sitting position, he knelt down in front of her. He pushed her legs apart and smirked.
"Did a number on ya, huh?" He said proudly, running his middle finger around her entrance.
He pulled her closer to the edge of the couch and leaned forward. He teasingly peppered kisses all over her thighs, earning another whine from her. He slowly worked his tongue on her, sucking her clit until all he heard were her broken moans. Pushing one leg off, for better access, he slipped his ring and middle fingers in her, stretching her out as his tongue lapped up her juices.
"Cal, I'm so close." Claudia panted.
In less than a minute, she was a moaning mess. She held onto the edge of the couch, bucking her hips to meet Calum's fingers and tongue. She repeated his name as she climaxed.
He leaned, watching her catch her breath. "How was–"
Claudia wrapped herself around him before he could finish his question, tackling him to the ground. Their lips reacquainted with each other. Calum pulled away only to secure her legs around him so he could get them back on the couch.
Claudia and Calum continued devouring each other when he got them on the couch. They shifted around, until Calum laid on his back with Claudia on top of him. Her hand lazily stroked his length through his sweats as his hands ran over her thighs and ass, occasionally going up to her breasts to play with her nipples.  
Claudia leaned back as Calum sat up, giving him better access, and quietly moaned out as he gently nipped under her breasts. Both of his hands were on her nipples, twisting and rubbing them. His tongue traced the pert peaks. Having enough of his mouth, she pushed him down on the couch. She leaned down and claimed his lips as she slowly grinded on his hardened cock. His hands went to her ass, letting her control their kiss as he guided her against him.
"I need you in me, Cal." Claudia mumbled against his lips.
Calum nodded. He gently tapped her thigh so he could get up to take off his sweats. Once he was laying on the couch, he motioned Claudia to his lap. She coated Calum's cock with her arousal then she slowly sabk down his length. Her hands rested on his tummy while he placed his hands on her waist, and slowly guided her. Claudia rocked her hips back and forth. She closed her eyes, gasping at the feeling of him all the way inside her.
"Just like that pretty girl,” Calum moaned out.
He rubbed her ass gently then slapped it, making her squeal.
"Do it harder." Claudia encouraged him.
She halted her movements and rested her hand on his chest. She closed her eyes, waiting for impact.
"Keep 'em open, pretty girl."
She opened her eyes and found him staring into hers. She brought one of her hands to tease her clit as Calum got ready to smack her ass once more. His smack caught her by surprise, as she was too busy with her clit, and yelped in pleasure.
"Like that?" He asked her.
"Mhm." She murmured.
"Noted."
Calum wrapped his arms around her back and pulled down. Their lips met, kissing slowly. Claudia eventually remembered that she was riding him and rolled her hips a bit slower while he roughly bucked his hips up into her. Her orgasm came out of nowhere. She clung to Calum as she continued to ride him. He still kept thrusting into her through her orgasm. But he slowed down, letting her come back from orgasm only to take her once more.
She pulled his lips to hers. Their kiss was as messy as Calum’s strokes. He was close.
"Please come on my face." She said after a while, kneeling on the couch.
"Yeah, want me to make a mess on your face, pretty girl." He said standing up, lining himself to her mouth.
She looked him dead in the eye and nodded, "A complete mess."
There was a second of silence. Both of them stared at the other, until they burst in laughter.
"I hate you."
"That's no way to talk to your lovely girlfriend who's about to suck your dick." She sassed him.
Calum rolled his eyes as he stroked himself, preparing it for her mouth. “Whatever, just remember to close your eyes when I do.”
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bartxnhood · 5 months
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you don’t go to parties | a.f.i
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ashton irwin x fem!reader
summary: ashton wonders why he keeps searching for you at parties. because after all, you don’t go to parties anymore.
warnings: drinking, swearing, just the party scene
w/c: 2.4k
requests open
not proofread
Copyright © 2023 bartxnhood. All rights reserved. This original work is not allowed to be reposted on any platform in any format.
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“hey, it’s y/n. sorry, i missed your call. leave a message after the beep. bye!”
“hey, uh, it’s me, just been thinking about everything tonight and i don’t know… i just miss you so much. call me when you can. bye.”
ashton removes the phone from his ear and ends the call, followed by a long, drawn-out sigh as he stares at your contact photo.
you were standing on the harbour bridge with him, kissing his cheek. it was taken on his first tour, when the band was opening for one direction, and he had just asked you to be his girlfriend, to which you of course said yes. he was your best friend and the person you had fallen in love with years before.
you've been by his side since the beginning of the band till today. you helped him throughout his most difficult times, and he did the same for you. at one point you considered him your soulmate and imagined spending the rest of your life by his side.
that was, until the parties.
it wasn't horrible at first. you'd join him at a few parties here and there. it was fun at first but then things got out of hand. ashton would party practically every night, and the parties eventually moved to his house, where you also lived. and it was well into the morning before the nights ended. so, you'd just hide out in your bedroom or at a friend's house.
it was exhausting. you could never get anything done because your house was always filled with strangers. and you couldn’t talk to ashton about it because he was always hungover and told you he’d talk to you later.
eventually, it got to the point where you just couldn’t take it anymore. so, you left him.
ashton was a disaster. every night, he'd be out partying or at a bar, hoping to drown out the haunting thoughts of you.
his partying addiction had gotten worse since you left. he couldn't even remember what he done the previous week since he had been partying so hard that it was killing him.
sometimes he’d call you when he was blackout drunk, professing undying love for you and how he regrets everything. other nights, when he isn’t so drunk, he’d still call you and apologize for the drunk calls.
he was spiraling down a deep dark alley, and if he didn’t fix himself now, he’d never see the light again.
ashton didn’t know why he continued to party and drink so much. but, he continued without thinking about the consequences. even if he knew how bad he was while under the influence.
some nights were worse than others.
one night it got very out of hand.
it was nearing five in the morning and ashton had one too many like he usually does but tonight was different. he was angry. angry at himself for letting you slip from his hands, angry he treated you like gum on the bottom of his shoe when instead of the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
ashton sat on his sofa staring at the wall with a red solo cup in hand, occasionally looking towards the door hoping you’d walk through and come back to him. but of course, you never did, and you wouldn’t because you don’t go to parties anymore.
luke sat with his head hung, rubbing his temples. “ashton, you’ve had too much. cmon man. just go to bed and we will clean up. it’s almost five a.m”
but ashton doesn’t say anything, he just sits there and down the rest of the liquid in his cup before tossing it to the floor
“yeah, no wonder y/n left you.” ashton hears michael say under his breath which was just enough to send ashton over the edge.
now it was getting out of hand, ashton was screaming his lungs out at michael while he just stood there with his hands up, signaling he didn’t want to fight ashton.
finally luke called the one person he knew who would help. you.
“hey, y/n, i’m sorry it’s so late…well early but ash is drunk, very drunk. can you come get him? he’s causing a scene.”
"what? oh, christ. yeah, I'll be there in ten," you said as you jumped out of bed, grabbed the nearest sweater and sweatpants, and ran out of your apartment.
your heart felt like it was beating out of your chest. the drive was a blur, trying to get there as quickly as possible in order to avoid another fight.
you knew most people would never do this for their ex, but you still loved him. you were still madly in love with him at the time. you listen to every message he's ever left on your phone.
your inbox was overflowing with them.
you heard every sincere confession, every drunken apology, and every sober apology.
of course, you still had feelings for him.
you never stopped.
“thank you for coming.” luke swung the door open letting you slip inside, then walked through the trashed house. “he’s in the living room” you looked through the kitchen archway to see where luke was pointing, and then you saw him.
you pushed the door open and walked across smashed cans and cups to his side. "ashton?" your voice was soft, as if you were unsure how he would react to your sudden appearance. maybe he'll lash out at you, or he'll remain mute and go away.
he raised his head, his gaze meeting yours. ashton comes to a halt from whatever nonsense he was doing, which was probably another drunken rage. was this really happening? he asks, as he stares at you in bewilderment. are you standing directly in front of him? was he dreaming?
"y/n?" he calls your name, and you question, "ash, what's going on?" and his eyes glaze over merely hearing your concern.he only blinks in response, trying to figure out the situation.
he can't believe you're at his party after swearing them off, and it's for HIM. not anywhere else but his house. he says "y/n" a few times before wrapping his arms around your stomach and tightening his grip. he couldn't let you go away again.
you just let it happen and hug him back as he sits on the sofa, saying, "hey, I'm here, it'll be okay" and attempting to calm him down. despite your best attempts, he pulls away, taking everything in.
you noticed luke about to say something, so you put your hand out to stop him, silently shaking your head.
you knew ashton was in pain, so you took him upstairs. "hey why don't we get you upstairs and into bed?" you gently held his arm, which calmed him down. he allowed you to take him upstairs and away from the party. you pull over to chat to one of the boys on the way, saying that you're going to take him to bed.
"I appreciate you calling. I'll get him settled and then return to assist you with the cleanup." you say to luke before leaving.
you help him upstairs, doing your best to keep him upright. as you led ashton to the bed, he was babbling incomprehensible words. and after completing your normal cleaning and care for him, you took a step back. anxiety and confusion consume your body. thank goodness, his luke called you.
You've read the articles about his constant parties and the drunken scenes he created. he was a mess. but it was how he was dealing with the break up. you, on the other hand, have stayed home every night, watching sad movies, weeping yourself to sleep most nights, losing your appetite, and creating excuses not to see sierra or crystal. Isolation was your only option for coping.
you begin to rub the bridge of your nose as you stand by the side of the bed, looking down at ashton, who was in and out of consciousness. your heart was beating, and you were at a loss for what to do. when ashton opens his eyes and sees this, he becomes upset once more. he’s sorry you had to go to another party for him, and he rubs his eyes before saying, "you shouldn't have come." "y’hate parties." "i had to," you say, dropping your hands. "i was worried." he could see it in your eyes that you were sincere. "you're scaring me, ash" you took a pause to attempt to calm yourself as tears began to pool in your eyes.
you try to get him to bed without confessing anything or saying anything you don't genuinely mean, knowing he's incredibly inebriated and emotional. "scaring you?" he took a deep breath as he watched you toss his shoes to the floor. "yes. you’re killing yourself. i’m not going to sit by and let you do that." maybe you were getting a little emotional right now, so you looked away to gather your thoughts and finish getting him ready for bed. if he chooses to sleep.
you left the room once he was settled for a bottle of water. he probably won't know you're gone. only luke and calum remained, clearing up the garbage from the party. they all glanced up at you, waiting for news, but you just shook your head and said nothing.
you returned, half-opening the bottle and placing it next to the bed. ashton is staring at you in awe. "you're always the one taking care of me and i never deserved it," he says. “you deserved so much better than me." you didn't let the fact that he was incredibly intoxicated and emotional get to you.
you lower your head, nibbling on the inside of your cheek. don’t let him hurt you like this, y/n. you kept thinking to yourself, he was intoxicated and didn't mean anything. you get up to leave, eager to go home and cry into your pillow about how much he misses you. he reached for your hand, carefully gripping it, and said, "stay with me." you freeze, tilt your head, and appear torn, so he adds "please? just tonight." while staring into your eyes, desperate.
so, you stayed. laying on the opposite side of ashton, you heard his breath steady assuming he was finally going to sleep. until you heard “i love you.” you had only hoped that if you were still he’d leave it alone and would just go to sleep. but he continued. “when i left that morning, i didn’t stop. i never did. you’re my whole world, and i hate the person i’ve become. i wanted to spend the rest of my life with you, but i screwed it up.” your heart was racing, picking at your nails you felt him shuffle next to you. “you were the best thing i’ve ever had and i let you go. ‘m sorry. you can hate me. i understand.” you waited a bit, but that was the last thing he said for the night.
you ended up leaving before he woke up because it was now daylight and you didn't want to be there when he did. you stood above him before leaving, and he looked so calm. naturally, you bowed down and kissed his brow softly before exiting the room. so, you were gone by eight a.m. you had a minor breakdown on the drive home, knowing that the love is still there, and seeing him so vulnerable makes your heart ache. but you kept reminding yourself that he was drunk. he most likely didn't mean half of what he stated.
right?
you had just finished your meeting the next day and were standing in your kitchen preparing a cup of coffee when you were stopped by a rhythmic knock. you walked over leaving the cup on your counter. as you answered the door, you saw ashton.
“hey.” he said, stuffing his hands into his jacket. you stepped back, then saying “why are you here?” ashton looked around, spitting a few framed pictures of the two of you which he thought was odd. he thought you hated him. he shrugged, “i just wanted to thank you for last night, and everything.” you sighed, “come in” you stepped to the side and let him enter, then closed the door behind him. “do you want some coffee?” he sat down on the sofa.
“sure.” he answered, looking around the room. you came back with a black mug and handed it to him, and took your seat across from him.
there was a moment of silence, the two of you would steal glances at each other but didn’t want to say anything, wondering how to approach the conversation waiting to be held.
his comment was abrupt. “i meant what i said, you know.” you looked up from your coffee, to meet with his eyes already looking at you. “what?” you blinked, placing the mug on the table. “last night. everything, i meant it. from me still loving you, to wanting to spend the rest of my life with you. i meant every word.” he was being sincere, he held eye contact as he spoke and didn’t break it once.
truthfully, you didn’t know what to say. the situation wasn’t ideal, and to be honest with yourself, you knew you still loved him. “ashton..” you finally spoke, followed by a long sigh and dropping your head into your hands.
“then why do you continue to do this? you’re drinking yourself to death, ash. how can i trust that you won’t do it all over again, even if i want to work this out?” ashton stands up from his spot and moves in front of you, on his knees as he holds your hands. "i get drunk to forget the color of your eyes and the way your hair falls and how soft your skin is and the way your smile makes me feel; but it seems like the alcohol can't change my memory of you." he had been waiting to tell you this for the longest, “i do it because it’s the only way i know how to cope and i know it isn’t the best way, but it’s all i know.”
ashton runs his thumb over your knuckles. you look down at his calloused hands feeling your lip quiver “and if that isn’t enough just tell me, and i’ll leave for good.”
you shake your head letting the tears fall, “ash..i just want you to stop..all this drinking isn’t good for you, i can’t just let that happen.” you say, and he nods. “i know, i know.” he hushes your tears, raising up to hug you. “i’ll do better, i promise.” he says into your hair while wiping your tears.
“how can i trust you?” you ask
“because, i love you. and i’ll be damned if i lose you again.”
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hoochieforcalum · 4 years
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Above the City | c.t.h.
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this sounds random but can you do a ceo!Cal and you’re his assistant (plus sized) & he finds out maybe you’re a Virgin bc of a convo they guys you spark up (even though you’re shy) and steamy shirt starts happening in his office 🥵
so, this was originally supposed to be apart of my plus size blurb weekend, but I loved this concept so much that I decided to make an entire OC fic based off of it -aliencal
ceo!calum x oc elle (she is plus sized!)
warnings: smut,,maybe some angst,,typos for sure
word count: 6k+
----------
“It’s going to be another long day Liz.” Elle sighed into her phone as she turned the corner. Her heels clicked against the concrete sidewalk as she strutted her way to the coffee shop. She could feel the cotton material of her plaid pencil skirt flapping against her knee, causing her to grow slightly irritated at the feeling. She knew that the skirt hardly fit her thick size, but considering she hadn’t the time to do her laundry this week, the skirt was the only thing she could find that made her look remotely business-like. 
She heard Liz sigh over the phone, “Again? This guy has got you working all hours. Doesn’t he let you sleep?” Elle could feel a smile taking over her lips as she yanked open the door to the coffee shop. The sound of fresh coffee beans grinding together in the machine was echoing throughout the small, hole-in-the-wall shop, blocking out the indie music that was playing softly over the stereo for a small moment before silencing. Elle’s eyes quickly did a scan over of the shop, surveying the lack of customers and quickly coming to the conclusion that the shop was in it’s post-afternoon rush phase. Her analysis was only proven right when she saw the way the barista, who looked to be in high school or a freshman in college, lazily threw the dirty rag into the sink with a heavy sigh. 
“Besides the weekend and my breaks, no. But you have to cut him some slack Liz. Christian groups are not letting up.” Elle said as she approached the counter where a young man stood waiting with a pen in his hand. She pulled the phone away from her ear, easily telling the boy the two usual's before lifting the phone back up. She could hear Liz groan.
“And? Why does he need you to help him sort out their hate letters?”
“It’s not just hate letters,” Elle said, throwing a five dollar bill into the jar as a tip before grabbing the cup of large black coffee and walking over to where they had the condiments laid out. She grabbed a french vanilla cream cup and began to add in the mixture. “There is also something going on at one of the branch facilities out East. And I’m his personal assistant Liz. I kind of have to help him with whatever he needs help with, so matter what I think or feel.”
“I know that miss attitude, but sleepless nights for paperwork? Yeah, I’m glad I didn’t join the corporate world.”
A cross between a scoff and a laugh left Elle’s throat, “Well not everyone decides to enter marine biology,” Elle noticed the same male placing the lid on her drink. “Hey, I gotta go okay? Save me something.” Elle quickly pressed the bright red button before grabbing the paper cup from the barista with a soft smile used as a silent thank you. She watched the guy - who looked to be roughly as old as an undergrad - give her a quick wink before wishing her a good day, but not without adding in a very uncomfortable gaze of her body. Elle felt her insides swarm with unease as she walked out the door, knowing fully well that the guy was staring at her backside as she walked. She gave herself a moment before shrugging off the feeling and walking back to her company.
Well, it wasn’t her company per say, but after being behind the scenes for roughly five months now, she felt like it was. But then again, that was the perk of being an intern to Calum Hood.
And Elle technically went above an intern. She was his personal assistant, which meant that she was with him everyday from 8AM to 11PM or until he would dismiss her. Calum was the CEO of Koa Healthcare Clinics, a moderately sized healthcare company that primarily focused on women’s health and reproductive rights, as well as regular treatments and screening for common colds or any other type of infection, virus, or health imperfection. Elle had been keen on getting into the medical world since she was a young girl, and once she heard that there was an opening with a man who had connections to every major hospital all across the United States, she jumped at the opportunity to become his personal assistant. She nearly cried when she found out she was selected, and from that night until the day Elle started as the personal assistant to Calum Hood, she dreamed of the job being filled with meeting top healthcare progressives and interesting new technologies that would advance the system or even see some new laws that he was trying to lobby for.
Instead, Elle got coffee runs, sore feet from walking back and forth between his office, the supply room, and the coffee shop; late nights with take-out and pure silence as she sorted through paperwork for new patients and whatnot while he did his thing; angry men in meetings who talked nothing of healthcare, but rather extension of new clinics; ink on her hands when the printer went askew; cold morning coffee which meant she’d have to brew a new pot; calls from Calum’s partners and meeting setups; setting up appointments for Calum that included dental and dinner plans; misogynistic and sexist coworkers that brag about their achievements in bed during every break and what “slut” they took out the night before; and hate from conservatives and Christian organizations claiming that she’d go to hell for even being associated with a company like Koa Healthcare Clinics. 
She got the opposite of what she had dreamed of. Yet, the position paid well, and Elle was in her second year of medical school and needed the money to pay for her education. Alongside, Calum Hood was not the worst person to look at - or be near for that fact.
Elle would describe him as easy on the eyes. The man had a jaw structure that was unmatched, puffy cheeks that only accented and compliment his jaw structure, deep brown eyes that held more color to them when they were lit up in the sun, dark brown hair that softly curled upwards, tattoos on his hands and his left arm that were only shown when his sleeves were rolled up, big, plump lips that looked so soft, and a fit body type that nearly made all the female employees swoon - even Elle, but she wasn’t going to make it known to him. And yet, even though Elle had been, at first, thrown by how good-looking he was, she was even more thrown at the fact that Calum had never taken any of his anger out on her.
He never made Elle do anything in spite of his anger from his daily duties as a CEO, and he never screamed at her when he was upset or frustrated. Instead, his voice was always soft when he spoke to her. He always thanked her for everything she did, paid for every coffee and every take-out meal, made sure that his driver got her home safe before he went home, and always addressed her with respect and never looked down on her. And it shocked her.
She could hear Calum’s angry voice as she stepped into his large office. As per usual with any modernized, big corporate office, he had an entire glass wall that looked out over the city of Los Angeles - she could even see the Santa Monica Pier when it was lit up. His desk was a dark mahogany shade, making his space grey accents stand out. His laptop was open and she saw the way he was angrily staring at his screen as the person on the other end was talking. She quietly set the cup of black coffee down on his desk, but even he caught the movement of her arm and she watched as his eyes quickly snapped up and met hers. He mouthed her a quick appreciative ‘thank you’ before looking back to his screen and paying full attention to the heated conversation that he was having with whoever. Elle turned on her heels and walked over to the plush couch that was the same mahogany color as his desk. The stack of papers regarding new patients was still there from earlier before she had to run to the coffee shop. She let out a soft sigh under her breath and started to sort through them again. Koa Healthcare Clinics was always receiving new patients every day due to how in-expensive the treatment and plans are, but judging by this stack of paperwork, and the way Calum let out an aggravated sigh as he hung up the phone and the sound of the printer started, Elle knew she was going to be here until midnight - at least.
But that’s what typically happened anyways. So at this point, Elle was used to going home late and waking up early the next day to repeat the same cycle.
By the time Elle heard her phone buzz, she noticed that it was nearing 11 p.m., and she promptly set down the paperwork and picked up her phone. She noticed that Liz had texted her, informing Elle that Noah was staying the night and telling her that her leftovers were on a plate in the kitchen, and as Elle picked up her phone to respond, she heard Calum clear his throat.
She felt her insides freeze at how dominant the sound was, and she quickly typed a response.
“Sorry,” Elle mumbled, “It’s just uh, my roommate.” She instantly set her phone back down, and it was then that she registered the feeling of Calum’s stare seeping into her skin. She shifted in her seat and began to flip through the pages of clinic income-reports, quickly removing the cap of the yellow highlighter to figure out which clinic had poor income, but even she knew how shaky her hand was. 
And Calum noticed it too. 
He had spent the past five months trying to figure Elle out. She was unlike his past personal assistants. The majority of them were always talkative, and were trying to pry into Calum’s lifestyle too much because they were not okay with just sitting in silence during late night hours at the office, and Calum always knew that a majority of the personal assistants that he’s had always tried to get into his pants or at least felt some attraction toward him. 
But Elle? Elle straight up confused him.
She rarely said more than a full sentence to him. And that sentence only pertained to the work that they were both doing. Sometimes she’d ask him a question if she noticed how stressed out or upset he was, and sometimes she’d comment on how hateful some people can be in their letters, but Calum would immediately notice how shy she’d be afterwards. He’d notice the way she’d curl back into herself as if to try and pretend that it didn’t happen or that she wasn’t even there in the room. It dawned on Calum that he truly knew nothing about Elle besides her work ethic, and for some reason, deep down inside of him: it bothered him.
Calum would usually know the basics about his personal assistants beyond what their resumes would say. He’d know their favorite color, music, food, coffee - but that one was always a must as he was always drinking it and insisted that his assistants get something for themselves - and other basics like city or dream place. But when it came to Elle, Calum only knew what kind of coffee she liked. 
It also bothered Calum because of how much he had taken a liking to Elle due to her nature; almost too much of a liking which only scared yet intrigued him. He had to secretly admit that she was much more beautiful than any other woman that he had laid eyes on. Her hips were the fullest figure that nearly made Calum’s mouth water when he saw her for the first time. Her stomach was round and full but it never bothered her in the way that it would most people. She wasn’t shy about wearing pencil skirts that hugged her figure or shy of her fat rolls whenever she sat - at least not from Calum’s perspective. Her eyes were a dazzling green color that reminded Calum of rolling green hills or of healthy spring green foliage. Her eyelashes were long, so long that she hardly needed to wear mascara so Calum was always so confused as to why she did. Her cheeks were dusted with freckles that were lighter than her dark brown hair, and everytime she smiled, Calum felt his heart speed up at the sight of her dimples. Her lips were almost as puffy as Calum’s own, and he became scared of himself when he spent an entire hour daydreaming of wanting to kiss her.
And he’s been harboring his feelings for three months out of the five that Elle has been here. 
It baffled Calum - to say the least. Elle was someone he wanted to know, and he wanted to figure out if she liked him as much as he liked her, because even Calum could see the way her cheeks would become red with blush whenever Calum stood too close to her or the way she would blush whenever she said more than that sentence to him.
“You can take it if you need too.” Calum said softly, watching Elle’s eyebrows furrow at his words as she continued to highlight various clinics - ones that Calum would eventually have to phone and scream at the supervisor for.
“No,” Elle dismissed quickly and flipped the page. “It wasn’t anything important.”
Calum observed her for a moment. Her hair was pulled back into a twisted bun due to the large, black claw hair clip that held it up, and her bottom lip was pulled between her teeth as she continued to do her work. But even Calum could see the blush on her cheeks. He wondered why she never complained about the late night shifts or how much paperwork he threw at her. His past assistants always did to some extent, but not Elle.
“You know,” Calum started, pushing himself out of his chair. “If you ever need to take a break or step out to take care of things with your roommate, you can.” He watched as Elle let out a soft sigh and shook her head.
“Really, it’s fine.” Elle excused, giving Calum a soft smile before looking back down at the paperwork in her lap.
“I’m serious though,” He sat beside Elle on the couch, causing her to immediately freeze up due to his closeness. “I work you way too much. It’s okay to take a break you know.”
Elle was thrown by his sudden, small-talk nature. She easily slid the cap back onto the highlighter before setting it down on her lap.
“Taking breaks doesn’t get the job done.” Elle said softly, swallowing the hard lump in her throat as she turned to look at Calum. She watched as his lips parted softly, a quick intake of breath following shortly after.
“But, constantly working may mean that the work,” Calum said, his voice faltering as he reached his hand forward to take the stapled packet off of Elle’s lap. He watched as her cheeks flared up in a soft blush while he felt his hand brush against her thigh, the material of the pencil skirt separating his skin from hers. “Is not the best work.”
The packet of clinic incomes was gently placed on the coffee table by Calum’s hand. Elle watched him, her own confusion setting into her bones as she tried to figure out what he was doing. He wasn’t usually like this.
“But, doesn’t sitting here talking also take away time to get work done? With all do respect Mr. Hood, why are you over here?”
Calum tried to stifle his laughter at the adorable, yet confused look on her face, “First of all, it’s Calum. And second, I just think you need a break. Come on,” he said and repositioned himself so that his body was facing Elle. “What is your roommate like?”
Elle shrugged at her boss and pursed her lips together as she tried to think of an answer, “She’s like any other roommate.”
“You know that’s not what I meant.”
“She’s loud.”
“And?”
“Bold.”
“And?”
“Pays half the rent.”
“And?”
Elle could feel her frustrations starting to light her skin ablaze, “And she’s going into marine biology because she hates the corporate world. Mr. Hood, this is pointless. Why are you really over here?”
“Is it such a bad thing to want to get to know you?” Calum asked, but even after Elle had just snapped at him, Calum was still able to keep his voice calm and tender. She hadn’t upset him at all; she never does.
Elle scoffed, “No, but we both have work to do.”
“Meaning what?” Calum pushed. He could see how under her skin he was getting, and while that had not been his original intention, he was finding it extra adorable that her cheeks were getting redder due to the blush that kept appearing.
Elle sighed once more, “It’s late, and I am tired. Can you please just let me finish these assignments? Plus you never have wanted to get to know me so why start now?” The two of them stared at each other for what felt like minutes. Calum could feel himself growing enchanted by the way her green eyes never left his brown ones. Her cheeks, tinted with blush as always, looked so soft from the lighting that his office provided. He decided to take his chance, and he slowly reached out his hand to caress her mildly-warm cheek. His thumb dusted over the freckles that resided there before he spoke.
“Because I’m enchanted with you.” His words were a whisper that got lost in the air between them as Elle took them in. She felt her stomach drop, her heart speed up, and all she could do about it was focus on the way that Calum’s thumb ran gently over her bottom lip, his eyes following his own movements as she was trying to register what was happening. Enchanted with her? Impossible. Elle was always the last pick for every male she came across - maybe besides Noah - and no one had ever shown her much interest due to her body shape. She used to hate it, but after realizing that she didn’t need a man to make her happy, Elle eventually let it go. But hearing someone say that they were, at the very least, enchanted with her made her insides grow soft and her heart skip a beat. Although she was able to understand that there is more to her than looks, it was still nice to hear that someone had actually liked her. Maybe it’s a low moment for her for thinking like that, but Elle wasn’t going to dwell on it for too long.
Especially when she felt Calum’s soft lips press against hers.
His pressure was gentle but firm as he moved his lips against hers, deepening the kiss and swiping his tongue against her bottom lip. Elle could feel her body shock back to life as her brain registered who was kissing her. She instantly pulled away from him, the sound of her heartbeat drumming in her ears as she stared at him. Her lips craved his again and even though she knew it was wrong, she wanted to kiss him again, and she could even feel the tiniest bit of ache pooling in her body as she quickly thought about his lips kissing her skin. 
“I’m sorry,” Calum said quietly, his hand still on her cheek. “I shouldn’t have done that.” Elle let out a sigh and took her bottom lip between her teeth as she tried to sort out her thoughts. On one hand, this was her boss and this would be completely unprofessional. But on the other, she felt something during the brief kiss that woke her up and made her want more of him and to be with him. She casted her eyes downward toward his lap, wanting to desperately crawl onto it and just kiss him, but she stopped herself when her mind instantly reminded her of her weight. 
“Elle?” Her eyes snapped up again to meet Calum’s brown ones that noticeably seemed darker, and when she saw how puffy the quick kiss made his lips, she sighed once more and smiled.
To hell with her weight, and to hell with him being her boss.
Her lips crashed onto Calum’s as she quickly crawled into his lap, letting out soft giggles as she kissed him. Calum felt his heart swoon at the sound of her laughter, but quickly could feel heat rush to his tip when he felt her thick thighs around his body; the way that her soft lips were kissing him with such passion sent him into a frenzy.
God, the amount of times he’s dreamed of having her on top of him.
He became more aggressive with his kisses as she started to get playful - nipping at his bottom lip and laughing when their teeth clashed together - and Calum decided to take measures into his own hands. He slid his hands down her curvaceous and plump body in a sensual way that made Elle moan. Without a second thought and without hesitation, Calum squeezed her backside and slid his tongue into her mouth when she gasped at the feeling. They both fought each other for dominance before Calum finally had enough, pulling away and scooping Elle up into his arms.
“What happened to “we have a lot of work” hm?” He teased as he carried Elle over to his desk, his hands on her backside as she wrapped her arms around his neck to hold herself up.
“You are my work.” Elle replied with a smile.
Calum groaned and removed one of his hands to push the stack of papers off his desk. He gently sat Elle down and cupped her warm cheeks in his hands.
“That was sexy.”
“Really?” Elle asked and used her legs to bring Calum closer to her. “Because I don’t think that made any sense.” The two of them laughed as they kissed again, their lips turned upward in smiles as their teeth clashed together. Each kiss turned more intense than the last, causing heat to pool into Elle’s underwear as Calum’s erection only grew due to the sounds of her soft moans. It got worse for him when she moaned loudly after he found the sweet spot on her neck, the sound nearly causing Calum to moan himself. He started to unbutton her blouse when she stopped him.
“There’s something I have to tell you before you continue,” she said, placing her hands on Calum’s chest to essentially push him away from her. Both of them were out of breath. “I’m a virgin Calum.” Elle expected him to pull away from her and dismiss her, opting to just ignore what happened and allow her to go back to her work - or home. Instead, she smiled softly when Calum pressed a kiss to her forehead. 
“If you don’t want me to-”
“Woah okay, let’s not get crazy. I never said I didn’t want you to.”
“So you want me to?”
Elle bit her lip as she looked into Calum’s lust-ridden eyes, “I wouldn’t be on your desk with wet panties if I didn’t.”
Calum scoffed and allowed a smile to form on his lips at her words. He narrowed his eyes at her and hooked his hands around the back of her kneecaps. He pulled her to him with little force and felt the material of the skirt cause resistance.
“Let me do something about that then.”
It all was a blur to Elle. She was lost in her senses as Calum sensually loved on her. They were both so desperate for one another that she had lost herself in the pleasure that came with every tender touch and every feathery kiss that made her feel like she was being worshipped as if she were a Greek goddess. Her blouse was off in record time and her bra was soon to follow, and while Elle couldn’t get enough of his kisses, Calum couldn't get enough of her. Her body was a temple to him. Her rolls, curves, stretchmarks, and body dimples made him go weak at the knees and the sight of the hickies growing on her soft skin, along with the sounds of her moans and whimpers, made blush rush to his tip like never before. Calum could feel himself aching for her, and once his fingers made quick work of the pencil skirt, he wasted no time dropping to his knees. He groaned at the sight of the wet patch where her opening was, and he gently pulled back the cotton material to reveal her dripping core to his hungry eyes. He held himself back at just completely diving in, but the urge only grew when he caught sight of the tiny mound of black hair that rested above her clit. He moaned loudly and brought two of his fingers up to her core, collecting her arousal on his index finger before bringing it back up and putting it into his mouth. Elle sighed at the sight.
“I promise I’m going to make you feel good, my beautiful girl.” Her heart fluttered at his words, her core only growing more wet when she watched him reach up and begin to unbutton his shirt. She was in a daze as she stared at the way the city lights bounced off his caramel skin in all the right ways, the tattoos on his chest immediately sending her hot body into overdrive. She watched as Calum stepped forward in between her legs, reaching forward and grabbing her hands that were previously clutching the edges of his desk. He brought them up to his chest and placed them on his own pecs, proceeding to guide her soft hands down his chest. The amount of sexual tension and want increased in the both of them, Calum savoring the way her nails scratched against his skin and Elle savoring the way her chest and abdomen felt underneath her hands. She watched as Calum dropped back to his knees, causing her hands to slide back up to his body and tangle into his hair as she waited for him to do something. He started sucking at the skin on her thighs, leaving hickies as he made his way towards her center. He continued to tease her, kissing her plump, pussy lips before hungrily attaching his mouth to her core.
Elle was in complete bliss as Calum made slow and sensual work of his tongue. Her body was humming in pleasure as she focused on his tongue, moans leaving her lips as Calum lapped at her dripping core which such measured and rhythmic licks that it made her see stars. The vibrations from his own moans only sent her spiraling into a deep pool of pleasure, and she soon felt the knot of pressure form in her stomach. She tightly clutched his hair and started to grind herself onto his tongue, a moan ripping from both hers and Calum’s throats as she did so. She felt so close to her high and Calum could’ve sworn he had a mini orgasm from the taste and sound of her alone. 
“Fuck.” She moaned out and licked her dry lips, her thighs beginning to shake as the pressure only built. She let out a loud whimper as the knot came undone and her thighs shook violently against Calum’s head as her juices flowed out onto his chin. Calum moaned against her clit as he helped her ride out her first orgasm, the feeling of her thighs shaking causing pride to course through his veins as her body jerked from the pleasure that was taking over her body. Calum could feel the pre-cum dripping from his tip as he watched her body finally come to a stop and her thighs slow down to eventually stop shaking. He reluctantly pulled away from her core and stood back up, smiling softly when he saw the smile on her lips and the way her cheeks were overcome with blush for what seemed like the hundredth time that night. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was heavy, signaling to Calum that she was still coming down from her high.
He leaned over her and kissed her forehead, “Come back to me.” His voice was a whisper as she looked down at Elle, noticing the mini-freckles that dusted her eyelids. He pressed a kiss gently to her eyelid before doing the same to the other one; his heart melting when he saw her bright green eyes looking up at him after she opened them slowly. 
“Wow,” she giggled and brought his lips to hers. “You really know how to eat.” 
Calum let out a booming laugh as he kissed her again and pulled away, reaching into his bottom desktop drawer for the bottle of lube and a condom.
“Yeah well,” Calum sighed as he squirted the lube into his hand before rubbing the liquid onto her core, making sure to put extra around her hole to prepare her for him. “I have been kind of hungry and you naturally are a meal, so excuse me for feasting.” Elle rolled her eyes at him and his playful nature, the nerves of her first time completely gone as she felt so relaxed around Calum. A tiny laugh still managed to escape from her lips the more she thought about his words, but when she saw the size of Calum as he rolled the condom onto his member, she let out a breath of astonishment.
“Still want this?”
“Duh,” she said without a second thought, causing Calum to smile at her sass. Elle groaned and covered her face with her hands and she felt her body flush with embarrassment. “I mean ‘yes’.” Calum chuckled softly and leaned forward again, removing her hands from her face and biting his lip.
“Duh.” He whispered jokingly, but Elle was still able to hear how soft his voice was even when she had made a fool of herself. He kissed her nose before pulling away and using one hand to position himself at her entrance. He ran his tip up and down her folds to collect her arousal before looking up at her once more for clarification. Elle gave him a swift nod, and he gently guided himself into her. She could feel every inch of him stretch her out, causing a stifled moan - practically a squeak - to leave her throat as the pain set in. The lube had made it slightly bearable, but she could still feel the way her core was on fire due to the sudden stretch of Calum’s cock. Calum watched with concerned eyes as Elle’s eyes were tightly shut and her face was contorted in pain as he kept pushing in before pulling out again. Another squeak left her lips as he pushed back in again, but he could tell that it was much more painful due to the way she death-gripped the sides of his desk. Calum tried to help alleviate her pain by grabbing her waist and pulling her off the desk slightly, and once he bottomed out, he waited until he could move. 
And once he could, there was no stopping him. 
Calum was sure to keep in mind that she wasn’t used to any of this, but the way that her pussy clenched around him sent him into complete excitement. She felt so perfect wrapped around him that he just couldn’t hold back, but judging by the sound of her moans and the way her nails were dragging down his back as he fucked her at a pace that was moderately fast, Calum knew that she was enjoying this as much as he was. He couldn’t get enough of her; the feeling of her skin against him drove him wild and her tight, wet pussy clenching around him made him delirious. Moans were falling from both of their lips as the desk started to scrape against the floor and Calum could start to feel the sweat form on his body. He buried himself deep into her pussy as he chased his high, reaching down to rub Elle’s clit to make sure that she’d reach her own.
“Cal-” Her words were cut off by a loud moan, and Calum let out a deep groan at the way her walls clenched around him as she came. He still fucked her as she juices flowed around his cock, the feeling of her walls and her warm cum around him mixed with her soft skin rubbing against her already-hot skin and her moans echoing around the room caused Calum to come completely undone above her. His load shot into the condom with such force that he saw stars and lost himself in her body as he rode out his high; nothing but heavy breathing replacing his moans once all was said and done. Calum pulled his head out of Elle’s neck to look at her, but when their gazes made contact with one another, Calum could tell that there was something wrong. Elle had a far off look in her eyes as she stared at Calum, and he knew that she was not present. 
“Elle?” He asked, pushing himself up onto his palms to hold himself over her. She blinked twice, and then she suddenly started shaking her head. 
“What happened?” Calum asked again, now standing back up and slowly pulling out her to prevent her from getting hurt. Elle only shook her head and sat up, pushing herself off his desk and starting to search for her clothes. It’s almost like reality had caught up with her, and her mind had suddenly reminded her of who she just slept with. 
“I have to go.” She whispered and she slipped on her skirt and picked up her blouse. Calum watched in complete confusion, slowly putting on his boxers as he watched Elle scramble around for her clothing. He couldn’t even comprehend her sudden switch in moods, but he knew that she was in great pain due to the ways her face would scrunch up if she stepped a certain way.
“You shouldn’t be on your feet.” Calum said as he tried to stop her from buttoning her blouse. Elle shrugged off his touch and walked over to the couch to retrieve her shoes and her personal items.
“Elle, just wait a minute.” She could tell his voice was desperate, but her mind was screaming at her to leave. She knew that she had messed things up royally with what she had just done, and her flight or fight responses were kicking in. Calum was so baffled, but his own mind was screaming at him to get her to stay. But she wasn’t listening to him. She just kept shaking her head as if she was trying to shake off what just happened.
“Did I hurt you?”
“No,” Elle said and threw on her coat. “I shouldn’t have done that. You’re my boss. I shouldn’t have slept with you.” Her hand made quick work of the silver door knob. Calum watched as she slipped out into the lobby of the secretary, his mind racing at the sudden change in her mood. Of course he knew that they shouldn’t have done that, but he still felt an attraction towards her that he didn’t feel with anyone else - regardless if she was his assistant or not. He swiftly moved to the door and stepped out into the same lobby that she was just in. But before he could say anything, he watched as the elevator doors at the end of the hall closed shut, Elle on the other side of them.
--------
The lights in Elle’s apartment were dim when she lazily swung open the door after unlocking it. It was late, nearly around one in the morning, and Elle was confused to find the kitchen light on. The tears that she had cried on the way home were well dried up on her cheeks; the Uber driver being nice enough to not ask or say anything to her as she cried. The full weight of what she had done had hit her like a semi truck, and Elle could feel the shame deep into her bones as she spent every minute from the office to her apartment thinking about how she slept with her boss. She lost her virginity to someone who could easily control every move she did, meaning that Elle was now at the mercy of Calum come Monday. She dragged her body into the kitchen to find Noah, Liz’s boyfriend, grabbing a glass of water.
“Hey you! How was work?” He asked, his voice cheery and sweet like it always was. Elle immediately thought about the night’s events, and she could feel herself grow ashamed and regretful again.
“Long,” she croaked out, sucking in a deep breath to herself from crying again. “Really long.”
----------
hopefully y’all like this!!
taglist: 
@bloodmoonashton @cals-wildflower @cashtonasff5sos @fatallovesonghood @foreverlovingbands @fckngbored @generationsparkles @hoodschick @katcontreras @keithseabrook27​ @morguleth​ @myloverboyash​ @saphseoul​ @thesubtweeter​ @thomashoodetta​ @wantcalback​ @wastedheartcth​ @wildflower-cth​ @who-do-you-love-5sos​ @wtf-no-idk​ @wokeupinjapanisabop​
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lipringlrh · 1 year
Text
just being polite - cth
summary: you and calum broke up, but you decide to call him again to tell him you love him.
pairing: calum hood x genderneutral!reader
an: in honour of his birthday:)
word count: ~1250
requested: yes
warnings: phone call, bit of angst, pet names, bit of a cliffhanger
feedback appreciated!!
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...
It'd only been two months since your breakup with Calum and somehow you still managed to miss him more and more each day.
You were still led in bed - even though it was mid-afternoon. You had just finished crying over your third film of the day, each one somehow reminding you more and more of him.
You decided you were going to call him. You missed him too much. Each day you regretted the break up but, after many romantic films, you decided you were going to have you own romance movie and get your happy ending. And you couldn't think of anyone other than Calum.
The break up, per se, wasn't horrible; it was the seeing each other again and again, starting new fights, that was the most painful. It seemed more and more impossible to fall out of love with him. Every time you tried, you heard his voice in the back of your mind, "baby, I am so sorry.”
His voice seemed to just nag you, telling you over and over again he wanted you back. Whether it was true or not, you didn't know, but what you did know was that you wanted Calum back in your life, no matter the circumstances.
And now here you were, deciding to to call him, dialling in his number, which you shamelessly knew off by heart, even planning to lose all your dignity in the process, and beg for him back. Except, maybe without the begging. If he agreed straight away it would be a little less time consuming.
By the third ring, you had always considered hanging up. What if he didn't want you? What if he moved on already? You couldn't bare that thought. It would prove to you how much less he cared about you than he made you believe. You couldn't fathom how he could've possibly got over you in such short time if he really loved you as much as he promised.
However, Calum had seen the call. He'd noticed from the very first ring. He had stared at your name - a little shocked - debating how long to wait until he could answer without seeming desperate.
Calum missed you. More than he ever imagined was possible. He was never told how to get over a true love so had spent his time similarly to you, convinced it was impossible to ever move on.
As much as he missed you, he was a coward, admittedly so, and wouldn't call you. He couldn't handle a bad response. He had never been hurt this badly and hearing you say you didn't want him would break him far from recovery.
He'd never admit it, but scrolling through social media, he found a video explaining how to get someone back thorough manifestation, which he tried with you, and if this call went the way he wanted, it would have successfully worked.
Calum couldn't wait anymore and answered the phone, immediately pulling up to his ear and mumbling a, "hello?"
He heard a sigh of relief from the other end of the phone before hearing a small, "hi," greeted back to him.
The line was silent for a little while before you heard Calum murmur, “why'd you call?"
You could tell he was apprehensive. You were too.
"Just- I wanted to ask how you are?" It came out more as a question. Your hands were getting more sweaty as you were trying not to anticipate the worse response. You were contemplating backing out entirely but a good result was too heavenly.
"You want to ask how I am? That's- that's it?" He scoffed. "The last time you saw me, we were screaming at each other and now you're asking how i am?"
“| was just being polite," you objected, "was trying not to get anyone annoyed." It was like you could feel Calum roll his eyes. All you wanted was a civil conversation and a love confession but seemingly, you'd already failed at one.
You both went silent again, neither knowing what to say. Calum didn't know why he was getting so annoyed. He figured he just needed another way of getting out his emotions other than crying. He knew he'd started off rough, maybe altering the tone of the rest of the conversation, but he was too stubborn to apologise now, especially without knowing the real reason you called.
"Is that all you wanted because I think we're done now.” He spoke, the malice leaving his body the second he finished. His head fell down in regret. He didn't want to finish talking to you; he never wanted to. The thought that he may of just ruined his chances with you, again, sprung back in his mind. Recurring and repeating every second.
"You never actually answered," you responded, "I'm waiting.” You sounded tired. You didn't know if you could handle another conversation like this: tense and argumentative. You just wanted your boyfriend back.
Calum seemed to notice. When he answered, he spoke much more calmly with a hint of sadness in his voice, "I'm fine."
He wasn't fine. If there's anything you learnt from your time together, it was how to tell his emotions. As sick as it sounded, you wanted him to have missed you like you missed him. You'd never want to see him hurt but you wanted him to miss you, to come back and tell you he loved you.
Everything fell silent again..
“I don't want to go," you faltered.
He was quiet; he didn’t know what to say. He knew what he wanted to say but didn’t know if he could admit it to you. Neither of you wanted to be in a vulnerable position. You both felt the love you held for each other but you both couldn’t tell what the other thought was best to do.
“I don’t want you to go either,” he admitted.
Everything fell silent again, you wanted to tell him you loved him but the words felt like sick in your mouth. You didn’t want lose him more than you had - if that was even possible.
“I miss you, Cal,” you paused again, letting everything go quiet. When Calum was about to reply, you interrupted him. You needed to get everything across to him before he had the chance to disagree.
“I miss you so much, Cal. I know we broke up and I know there was so many reasons but none of them matter anymore. I want you, Cal, over everything, and I want us back, please. I lo-“
“Save that for when I see you again, okay baby?” Your stomach fluttered at the nickname. “I miss you too.”
“Where are you at the moment? I want to see you soon.” you whispered, like a secret. You didn’t want to complicate things, you wanted Calum to be comfortable and not rush anything.
“M‘near you. I know it’s late but could i maybe come over? We can talk, try to sort this out properly?” You hummed back as a reply, adding a “please do” to the end.
“I’ll see you in maybe half an hour, that okay?” You nodded before realising then muttered out a yes, walking into your bathroom to see how you look.
“Okay, see you soon baby.”
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