#Changing Mom

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

going through my old journals as part of therapy homework and i'm reading a section written in the emotional wreckage of a full-on breakdown when i get hit with this line:

There is never a satisfying answer to ‘Why didn’t they love me?’

like wow babe. good fucking point

#like you were on the ground biting the carpet and dry sobbing while you wrote that and still. good fucking point #not a shitpost #cptsd #and it's true. there's never a satisfying answer #the truth is i know why i wasn't loved #i analyzed my parent's traumas and abuse to death. i understand why i alienated and was alienated from my siblings #i know why my mom was too overwhelmed to be capable of nurturing #i know why my dad vanished into addiction and avoidance #the details of our cycles of trauma and cptsd and family history i have a phd in all of it #i understood perfectly. i spent years studying and now i knew the answer #and guess what? IT WAS NOT SATISFYING!!! #because they still didn't love me! and i still couldn't change that! #it was still a completely unsatisfying state of affairs! #so like. when the people who are supposed to love you...don't. #when the people who are supposed to take care of you...fail to #you can look for answers and reasons and explanations #but that's not actually going to FIX your situation. #and it's probably not within your ability TO fix the situation. (and definitely not your job) #because you don't need answers--you need a new situation #*inserts Just Walk Out. You Can Leave!!! (Running Skeleton) Meme* #and yes. walking out isn't always possible. #but for you i hope it will be one day soon. and i hope you build the courage to take that leap. #stepping away from the people who failed to love you...it feels like being untethered but also like being lighter than air #new and scary. immensely relieving. the future opens up. empty but empty like a canvas. blindingly bright until your eyes adjust #like climbing out of a pit you called home and for the first time realizing how bright the light of day can truly be #when you aren't just getting glimpses from the bottom of a hole

[firstfullmoon]

Jill McDonough, “Love and the Deli Counter”

#love tells me her mom called her love so much she just changed it 🥺 #w #poetry #jill mcdonough

[thatswhatsushesaid]

“um, you are actually supposed to hate this character with your whole chest, the text is EXTREMELY clear that he is terrible and you should not like him”

well i like him anyway. what are you going to do about it, tell my mom?

#salty peak sect 🧂 #this is not just about jgy but it is mostly about jgy #(and nhs to a lesser extent) #also the text is NOT clear that he is evil or that we should hate him #and no amount of snippy and self-important commentary is ever going to change that #also go ahead and tell my mom!! rip whoever manages to get her on the phone #you’ll never get those 3.5 hrs of your life back again

[petricorah]

scenes i loved from Real Enough to Get Me Through by @marriedzukka <333 [ids in alt]

#zukka #zukka fanart #sokka #sokka fanart #zuko #zuko fanart #atla #atla fanart #avatar the last airbender #zukka fic rec #myart #yall. yall. dani. this FIC #first off it made me cry twice. not like 'oh im crying' internet speak no. like. eyes are too blurry to read let me stop this for a sec #it is SO GOOD #your prose? amazing #your insights on grief? life changing #THEM??? THEM their relationship and trust #'zuko looked at him and his world shifted on its axis' #ive been thinking about that line for WEEKS STRAIGHT #i can't tell you how many passages i screenshot just because of how beautiful or cute they were #the moment of seeing the painting of sokka's mom? how did you manage to make it so telling character wise--so sweet so PAINful AND so #cute with their relationship?!!?! #'oh so you think i'm beautiful too' #GOD #i had so many scenes i wanted to draw it was crazy #also #'Our loved ones leave impressions on us that can still impact our decisions and feelings even after they're gone' #fuck. had me crying AGAIN #seriously this fic is so wonderful and not just through a zukka lens. truly life changing you're an AMAZING writer #the fandom is so lucky to have you and i can't Believe it took me so long to get around to reading this masterpiece

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

Thank you for including me your fake mom who left you home alone not once but twice to share in this happy occasion. I'm so proud of you. 

#my heart #im not crying you are #some things never change #nostalgia #home alone #home alone 2 #catherine o'hara #Macaulay Culkin #kevin mccallister #kate mccallister #love #proud mom #gif #gifs #gifset #movie #movies #filmedit #filmedits

[cornergh0st]

#raz and i have become daily nappers #and it’s been a great change #gay #your mom

[raycatzdraws]

ribbonwood

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu hyrule #(also zelda 1!!! but idk how people would feel about me tagging it since I used Jojo's design?) #(ya'll can always tag my gen loz art as LU (or as any linkverse honestly if it inspires you to think about your favs) and vice versa) #(I want to inspire you to think and create! If you see my gen loz art and want to add that to your headcanons or it changes how you think?? #take it! play with it! invite me to play as well haha!) #(not ocs but like- gen stuff??? ye go for it) #mom walked in and looked at the comic I was working on #so I started rambling about my plans with it and what my peers are working on and how cool it all is and how I want to have more of that #and she said “what a waste of time” #so I got loosey goosey with it :\ #nice exercise to just draw w/o doing guides or being careful #did this in like under 15 minutes! >:D #but anyways #I haven't slept yet so gn! #.. he's holding stuff in the wrong hands!!!! a #look up ribbonwood / redshanks trees! If Hyrule was a tree- this is it #I imagine zelda 1&2's landscape to be california chaparral!!! I'm really passionate about it!!!!! #check out the california chaparral institute's website -> chaparral -> chaparral types #it's Hyrule's Hyrule!

[ew-selfish-art]

Dp x Dc AU: Tucker gets hired by the JL to work on the Watchtower’s cybersecurity... He might have a few friends visit. 

Batman looked over the application for visitors presented to him by Dr. Foley, who was nervously wringing his hands but seemed excited to talk about his two close associates, and it appeared that everything was in order for the pair to be allotted a short visitation time slot. 

The paperwork was established by Batman himself after all, needing a way to permit non-members (His Children) to visit him at his office in the watchtower. Looking over Dr. Foley’s application, the invites to Dr. D. Fenton and Dr. S. Manson seemed to be somewhat warranted.

Dr. Fenton is a well known astrophysicist and Dr. Foley had been upping the security to reflect more complex physics models as the ‘lock’ mechanism for access to Watchtower servers. Dr. Manson was a more controversial figure in social justice but a biochemist to rival Dr. Pamela Isley, not to mention she was someone Bruce Wayne had met a number of times and not completely hated (though he was sure she hated him and everyone else in the gala). She was a fan favorite guest by his children and a great advocate for animal and human rights. 

Batman approves the application, allowing their visitation for a few hours at a time once a week until the completion of Dr. Foley’s project. 

He doesn’t hear much from it, nor from Dr. Foley, but things start to come down the rumor grapevine that the two guests were more than they seemed. Red Robin was the first to comment on it to him, and as practical and efficient Tim could be, there was a look of chaos in his smile as he discussed the two additional PhDs. He was stingy on details and that always meant something bad for Bruce’s mental health. A few others asked a few questions as to who exactly the pair were visiting, and Cyborg commented that they weren’t really doing too much to assist Dr. Foley. 

Batman decides to intervene and meet these two for himself when he hears Constantine complain (not that the man wasn’t always complaining about something) about the two new magic users being way too OP for normal humans. 

This is how the JL gets to become allied with Ghost King Phantom and Thorn (not Poison Ivy pt.2 as Robin insisted). Turns out they weren’t sure if the JL could be trusted with interdimensional politics, so Tucker spent the last two years gaining their trust to let Danny and Sam up here to ‘check the place out’ before they committed to becoming members. 

Batman doesn’t even get to raise alarms at the espionage of it all because Red Robin has already programed their new badges and welcomed them on with open arms and a project to take down the LOA’s Lazarus Pits “safely”.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #dp crossover #dc crossover #danny phantom #tucker gets a job with the JL to do espionage and enjoys the benefits package while hes at it #tucker gets dental and 401k matching while also keeping an eye open for war crimes #tucker 'too fine' foley is thriving (respectfully) when working with wonder woman to get her passwords set up #danny is a huge fan and want to join but sam is adamant that they cant be so sure #sam is connected to the green and goes by the most goth plant hero name i could think of #ghost king danny #everyone in this AU has spent way too much time and money going to school and getting phds #except for tim of course #manson family scholarship is just taking change from her moms purse #chaos gremlin highschool dropout tim drake has already sorted this whole thing out before tucker or bruce could even recognize it

[quess-art]

Child! Silver art I had in my files for a while

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst silver #lilia vanrouge #twst knight of dawn #sebek zigvolt #malleus draconia #twst chapter 7 spoilers #twst book 7 spoilers #twst book 7 #lil' doots #i think itd be cute if silver's mom had brown hair since his father is a blonde #like a reverse Philip and Aurora #child silver would have a little knife you cannot change my mind

[peanutseagle]

sillies under the cut

#first time i actually like a melinda drawing i made?? #oh my god??? #tried out a this brush i never use but like damn........ its SO good #also sorry if i forgot to change the asks thing but requests are closed 🧍‍♀️ #my obsession with drawing my irl crush only got WORSE i now have 4 fucking double pages dedicated to him. please help me #aint helping that his mom is an absolute sweetheart and we get along super well #even tho we only met TWICE #and the fact that he indirectly called me SMART #nah i'm pathetic #spy x family fanart #spy x family #fanart #my art #melinda desmond #demetrius desmond #demitrius desmond #damian desmond #sxf #sxf fanart

[dxzziie]

TW! BLOOD WARNING

previous part here :3

happy holidays :]

#mewtwo #babytwo #mega mewtwo y #mega mom #pokemon #mgmama & nana au #im so sorry it took so long to make this comic #AND THE MOTHERFUCKER IS STILL NOT OVER #anyways expect a banner change in a few #wanted to get this done yesterday for crimas but i mean theres still kwansa :D #tw blood #cw blood

[ch1zzie]

The original in the bottom

Plus the picture I mainly drew but decided to draw the rest for funny

#thats not my neighbor #milk man #just tried to draw something in my mind to post along with saying some updates #monday the people are gonna give my grandma the keys to the house! while i have to stay at my aunts place for wifi for school #(online school) #my moms gonna be moving things out of storage into the house! AAAA I CANT WAIT #also little welcome home update #im not sure if i said here? wait nevermind i just remembered while typing (it was that i got barnaby and the pins) AAA silly me #also im making a little julie out of clay (if i wake up and their messed up i am NOT redoing that😭) #the legs are a little messed up because julie was gonna be the size of an hatsune miku figure on accident so i chose to shorten her a bit #only because im not sure if im gonna make the others too AND because theres no way hes gonna be THAT tall😭 #also! im making easter art #yes its barnaby and wally again just for fun! but a few changes like keeping their regular outfits because i cant think of anything else!!! #why not the ones in the old easter drawing? welllll a follower said that wallys outfit looked a bit familiar to another not so good thing #it wasnt on purpose just an accident because i hadn't notice BUT im glad i know now so i can be more careful! #im not sureeee if im gonna finish the easter art OR the julie clay thingy but I'd love too! and honestly HOPE to #high chance i will (well maybe the easter art could be late or not) #maaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAA trying to think if theres anything else but cant! ill try posting this hoping my wifi wont hate me... #also i know i said this account was for welcome home posting but i didnt have any cool welcome homey things to put here gahhhhh #ehehehhe once i get my new room and its allllll just me #imma post like crazy (wellll that IS the plan so i hope) #even if its little dumb posts #by the way this post was gonna say on top “i know i said this account is for welcome home posting but TAKE THIS FOR LITTLE UPDATES” #just removed it because i dunnooooo just didded #hehe didded

[prettysweetprettysweet]

boy there is so much to unpack based on what Karan's sister said to her mom about how Karan was raised. its so crazy that his parents reinforced what they valued and what they didn't value by withholding reactions/not engaging with Karan if they didn't like or approve of what he was doing (and up until the present part of the story, didn't think this was harmful??). i don't know if the writers meant for it to be so profoundly sad, but the thought of a queer child who already felt deeply conflicted about his identity trying to express himself, find out who he is, and share his excitement about cool things he finds in the world only to get nothing from his caretakers to acknowledge it is heartbreaking. his flames burned out because he was doing it in a cold empty vacuum. she said he would pursue those things until it "got boring" but really what that means is he pursued those things/expressed himself in certain ways until the lack of interaction from his parents made him feel so insecure, self-conscious, and lonely that he phased it out. and then when he started getting engagement from his parents again, he would internalize that he shouldn't go where his instincts/pleasures/interests guide him because they're the makeup of an unacceptable person.

so Karan's historical self-deprecation in regards to his queerness and his uncontrollable, tear-filled reaction to hearing his mother indicate that she does want to support and engage with he and Achi, makes all the sense in the world. when he confessed his feelings to Achi he apologized multiple times essentially for letting the real Karan take over and control what his brain and heart were doing, ruining things between them. i love that Achi's immediate reaction to that was "you're sorry???" because its so bewildering that Karan would apologize for being himself, feeling his feelings, or thinking his thoughts. but he has been trained his whole life not to indulge or engage with his authentic self, so he feels like a failure when he does. he built his life around models of perfection and ways of carrying himself that were molded by other people.

Karan asking his mother "are you disappointed" that I'm gay/in love with a man really gets to the heart of it. like, if his mother had a choice, if his mother had the ability to change things about her son to fit her image of a better person, what parts of Karan would she remove or swap out? this is something he has had to consider, if not on a conscious level then definitely on a subconscious one, for his whole life: what parts of me are scraps, what parts of me are unwanted?

its such a relief that Achi stated that for him, caring for Karan means supporting him in doing the things that he likes and that bring him pleasure (like cooking and spending money on things that he and Achi can do together). Karan had asked Achi to "bear with" him but its clear that Achi isn't bearing anything. Achi takes pride in his charge of caring for Karan -- and helping him indulge his wants, abandon the constant grind for perfection, and reconnect with himself is a huge part of that.

#karan crying after hearing his mom's change of heart and asking about disappointment is so rough #bc the unfortunate truth is that for a lot of queer ppl -the answer from their parent is 'yes' even if they can't say it out loud. #and if they were able to change that part of their child - they would #cherry magic #cherry magic thailand #cherry magic th #yo mismo

[miusato]

Lmao so I finally done drawing a lineup of P3 cast in my Highschool AU. Call them wokesona or something ahskskskskasosk

#i really need to figure out an actual name for this AU i cant keep calling it wokesona to myself privately forever 🥲 #anyway Aki's costume is like the least y2k here cuz I cant recall anyone wearing jumpsuit as fashion at that time #but shhh mom said i can be cringe online today so like I was thinking that Aki doesnt really have a lot of new clothes in his wardrobe #most of the time he thrifted it or its a hands down from his foster parents or something #but it doesnt really matter his fangirls doesnt care that he is out of date when it comes to fashion #all they know is that boy is hot and they're the reason why Aki has terrible sinus because they wont get his name outta their mouth #anyway again this isnt their permanent clothes hhh its more like a guide for me for everyone's style #i was envisioning that if this is an actual cartoon that nick somehow decides to greenlight #it would be something like 'as told by ginger' where everyone changes clothes in every episode #anyway now that I get this outta my way I can finally go through my request hsjsjaka bUT FIRST //passes out and sleeps for 1 millennia #asukart #persona 3 #persona 3 reload #persona 3 portable #yukari takeba #mitsuru kirijo #fuuka yamagishi #aigis #aigis persona 3 #kotone shiomi #minako arisato #persona 3 femc #shinjiro aragaki #akihiko sanada #makoto yuki #persona 3 mc #junpei iori #00s highschool au

[dumbasswithapen]

can we just listen to Disabled people when they say what accommodations they need??? Like it really isn’t that hard to just take someone’s word on what is best for their own body! Whether it’s more or less or different than what you deem they need it really isn’t your place to say!!!

Sometimes, people need more than they show! Especially if they’re used to being in pain all the time, then they won’t always display that discomfort.

Sometimes the accommodations someone needs are different than what you assume. A friend who struggles with noise sensitivity may ask for you to turn on a different type of music, instead of turning it down, and if that is what they express they need you don’t have to say “oh no I can just turn it down!” and ignore them saying that that isn’t necessary because your idea of noise sensitivity is different than their own experiences and needs.

And sometimes people need less than you try to provide! Or simply don’t want that accommodation at the time! And here’s the crazy part: this applies even if what they say to do could hurt them. Obviously this isn’t a rule for every situation*, but for some it absolutely is. If your friend wants to tag along for, say, a hike, and they have joint pain it isn’t your place to add in “oh no but they can’t do [the hike]! They’ll be in pain! We have to do something else to accommodate them!” If that person expressed a desire to go, especially if offered other options prior that wouldn’t hurt them, let them live. Let them do the thing that puts them in pain, because Disabled people don’t always want to be shoved into a little box of safety. Absolutely sometimes they do, and some might always want to, but if they don’t, then let them make their own choices for their body. Just as anyone else does. You go out and get drunk, even if it gives you a hangover. You go skating even if you’re shit at it and scratch up your knees a bunch. Just because someone is Disabled doesn’t mean that they can’t do the same thing and do that fun thing that hurts them.

I don’t know if I’m displaying my point how I want, so here’s my own example: I am allergic to the cold. Anything below 60 degrees (f) I get hives. Any water cooler than a fucking warm shower I get hives. My joints don’t do great when it’s cold out. This does not mean that when I say I want to go swimming, you can say “oh but you can’t you’ll get hives!” Or “no you can’t do that you’ll be in pain!” Because. I know that. I know that. I know my Disability better than anyone else can, and I can ask for accommodations I need. I am not a child to be wrapped in bubble wrap so I don’t get hurt. My body is my body and I can do with it what I want, and face the consequences. Likewise, just because I said I wanted to go swimming doesn’t mean that when I don’t want to go out and muck around in the snow it is anyone’s right to say “oh but you wanted to swim earlier, so obviously it isn’t that bad for you!” Or “oh it’s fine it’s not that cold! Just wear a sweater!” Because at that time I need and want different accommodations and that should be listened to and considered accordingly, as far as it can be in that situation.

Seriously. Just listen to us. We are in our own bodies. We know ourselves. It really isn’t that hard

*a situation where this point would be null is, for example, a situation where the person has been peer pressured into doing something, or one where you know the person well and know that the endurance of pain is a self-harming behavior

#disability #disabled #information #shi rambles #ableism #accommodation #cold urticaria #chronic pain #Like I get that my mom wants the best for me but I really know myself #If I avoided getting hives I’d be avoiding swimming at all. I’d not be having cold drinks or foods. I’d be not going outside #Even if I’m complaining about being in pain it doesnt mean that I don’t want to do the thing. It just means I don’t want to be in pain. #I know that won’t change but it’s not the change that matters it’s the expression of it #idk #actually disabled #ugh I don’t like wiriting that i feel like a fraud cuz im not disabled “enough” #It’s so fucking stupid I hate my brain

[moeblob]

I'm literally both at the exact same time and I don't know how I've survived this long.

#fe three houses #bernadetta von varley #felix hugo fraldarius #bro i havent drawn student felix in so long i had to use a flippin reference im gonna scream #also teehee my phone adjusted to the time zone change and my laptop didnt #so im like pretty rad its only 3am i can go to bed soon #and then realized oh its 5am ................ oops #anyway the 5am is probably a very good reason as to why this was an immense struggle to draw lmao i should sleep #but im gonna go talk to my mom instead bc i can sleep later its ok probably