#Charlie you better not come here with your shoe addiction

[shinnith]

Need a place to save my life’s work for keeps- they do say the internet is forever...

I have fears of losing my master music collection that I’ve been curating since I stole an ipod out of a drunk dudes tent while he was passed out in my backyard and hand recorded each song so, without further explanation, may I present “The Collection” in complete text file. 

COLLECTION 1:

11 Girls 12 12 13 She Way Out 14 Menswear 15 Play It Loud 15 Pressure 18 25 to life 27 1000 nights 1983 1994 1996 1998 A heartbreak A million men Acadia Achievement Acid rain Adderall Addict with a pen Addict Afraid Again Against the grain Agnes Ain't gonna drown Air I breathe Alaska All about us All day and all of the night All the kids are depressed Alone Always An art gallery could never be as magnificent as yo Anchor Another brick in the wall Apologize Are you gonna be my girl Asshole Astoria At seventeen Atmosphere Away Ayahuasca Back to you Backbeat Bad Bitch Bad boy Bad habit Bad liar Bad Reputation Bad things Ballin Barbed wire Barcelona Basket case Be wherever you are Beautiful Because We Can Beggar In The Morning (Barr Brothers) Beggin for thread Belong Berzerk Beside you Between us Big girls don't cry Big machine Big yellow taxi Bills Bite my tongue Bitter leaf Black And Yellow (Dirty) Black Betty Black Holes Blackbird Bleed it out Bleed Bleeding out Bliss Blood in the cut Blood water Boogie Born to die Bourbon Break my heart again Breakeven Breathe me Breathe Broken bones Broken Brother Bruises Bubbly Bud like you Build it better Bury it Buzzcut season California rain Call me Calm down Can't stop Capable Capsize Carry on Cavern's dark Caves Cecilia and the satellite Ceilings Celebrity status Chanel Change it all Changes Charlemagne Charlie brown Chasing cars Chasing pavement Chateau Chemicals Chemistry Chills Chris Collins - Ain't Ready Chris Tomlin - Good Good Father Chris Young - Goodbye Chris Young - I'm Comin' Over Chris Young - Lonely Eyes Cigarettes & Loneliness City life Clarity Classy girls Clementine Cleopatra Clocks Coastline Cocaine Coconut water Cold wind blows Come and get your love Come hang out Come Together Comfort of strangers Connection Conquest Could it be another change Crazy bird Crazy love Cringe Cross my mind Dance Dancing in the daylight Dani California Dark necessities Day gaunts Daydream Daydreamer Days move easy Deep end Defeated Different Dissolve DNA Do I wanna know Do it alone Do you feel it Done with love Don't bring me down Don't Forget Where You Belong Don't just sit here and drink yourself to death Don't let me get me Don't threaten me with a good time Don't Dots and dashes Down on my luck Downtown Drama Drift Drive Drops Of Jupiter Drug ballad Drugs 2 Drugs 3 Drunk Ease Echo Edge of town Elegy Elevator Eminem - Drug Ballad Eminem - Without Me End of the summer Ends of the earth (live) Epiphany Eros and Apollo Ever since new york Everybody gets high Everybody wants to rule the world Everything is alright Eye to eye Eyes closed Face Fake you out Fall for you Fall Fancy shoes Far alone Faux Favorite color is blue Feel it still Feeling whitney Feels Female energy Fight song Fire and the flood First time he kissed a boy First Flashed Junk Mind Fool for love (live) Fool for love Foolish love Forces of the unseen Foreplay Forever ago Forget about dre Freaks and Geeks Friends From the dining room Full disclosure Genghis Khan Geronimo Get away Giants Girl I met on the internet Girls like girls Girls your age Girls, Girls, Boys Give me one reason Give me something Go flex Go fuck yourself Go God I hope this year is better than the last God is on the move Gold Good girl Good man, bad man Good old days Gotta be somebody Green light Greenback Boogie Grown up Gummy H.S.K.T Halcyon Hall of Fame (ft. will.i.am) Hallucinogenics Hands on the wheel Hannah Hard feelings Harry Styles - Sign Of The Times   Hash pipe Heartbeat Heaven Hello my old heart Here comes a thought Here it goes again Here we are Hideaway Highschool Holdin out Holocene Holy Spirit - Francesca Battistelli Home Homegrown Homesick Honey sweet Honey whiskey Hopeless Hors d'oeuvre Hot mess Hotel Andrea Houdini How we feel I Am Who Am I built a friend I can't stand it I don't mind I Dont Wanna Live Forever - Zayn and Taylor Swift Cover I feel everything I follow rivers I get knocked down I hate myself for loving you I have made mistakes I know what I am I know you care I know you love to fall I love you so I might I need a woman I need some sleep I run empty I told you I was mean I wanna get better I want to feel alive I Will Always Be Yours I will follow you into the dark I will follow I won’t give up Iggy Azalea - Work I’m alive I’m an Albatraoz I’m not famous I’m not really fine I’m ready I’m with you Imma Be Impossible In my head In my veins In spite of all the danger In the end In too deep Ink Innocence Insecure Into the sun Iridescent Island In The Sun Islands It’s;s not my fault, I'm happy It’ss not over It’ss on us It’ss time Jenny Jet Pack Blues Jocelyn flores Juicy sweatsuits Jukebox Hero Jump Just can't get enough Just to get high Kate Voegele - Hallelujah Keep your head up Kids Killing me to love you Kings Kiss like a woman Kitchen sink L.S.D. La la la Laser gun Last of her kind Latch - Kodaline Laughing on the outside Leave a trace Lemon boy Lemon to a knife fight Let you down Letdown Let's Skip To The Good Bit Liability Lies, Lies, lies Lifted up Lighters Like gold Like toy soilders Lil Wayne - Mirror (feat. Bruno Mars) Little do you know Little secrets Little Things Little white lies Location Lone digger Lonely alone Lonely boy Lose yourself Lost generation Lost in space Lost kitten Lost song Lost Love again Love game Love is mystical Love like this Love lockdown Love on the brain Love somebody Love Loveless Lover boy Lovesick Mad behaviour Mad Sounds Mad world Magnets Malibu Mama always told me Mars Me Medicated Meet me halfway Meet me in the woods (live) Memo Mercedes Benz Mercury Middle fingers Migraine Mockingbird Moments I’m missing More Morphine Mountain to move Mr Jones Must be the ganja My band My fault.m4a My generation My house My Lighthouse (The Rend Collective) My name is My own worst enemy Nancy Drew Need you now Neptune Netflix & Dusse Netflix Never enough New fears Nightshift No angels No CD No faith in brooklyn No interruption No love No name No scrubs No stranger Norwegian Wood Nostalgia Not afraid Not too late Nothing without love Nothing wrong with me Numb Number one Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da Ocean eyes Oceans Ode to the bouncer Oh well Old friends Old pine Old school turntables On the other side On top of the world On top of the world One man town Ooh la Ophelia Out of it Out of mind Overdose Owl City - Fireflies Paint Paper crown Paper moon Paper thin Parasites Past lives Peach pit Peanut butter jelly Perfect day Perfect places Perfect.wma Pills n potions Pink lemonade Pink Love Plastic dreams Play with fire Pleader Please don't say you love me Plot twist Pork soda Pretty little gangster Priorities Promise Promising light Pump up the jam Punchin bag Punching in a dream Purple Haze Questions Radio Rap God Raw Ready to change Rebel Rebel Rebel Recover Rental Replay Revenge Ribs Ride River Rivers and roads Robbers Rock and Roll Rock 'n' roll ain't noise pollution Role model Roman Holiday Run rabbit run Run Runaway Running Sad Machine Sad Salt Satellite Saving us a riot Saw mill Say anything.m4a Say anything.wma Say my name Scary Love Science vs Romance Secrets Self control Senior skip day Settle down Seventeen Sex She moves in her own way She was Sheep She's dope Ships in the night Shout Show it to me Sick of it Silly boys Simple song Simplethings Sing for the moment Sirens Skinny love Sleep in the heat Sleep on the floor Sleepless Smile Sober up Sober Someone New Someone to stay Someone to you Songs about your girlfriend Sorry Soul To Squeeze [October 1993] Space bound Spaceman Starcrossed losers Stay high Stay quiet Stay together Step Stoned & Starving Stop the world I wanna get off with you Strange love Strangers Stronger than I was Stuck with me Suburbia Summer Summersong Super far Superhero Surrender Surround me Sweatpants Sweet Child O'Mine Sweet creature Sweet dreams Sweet Sweetest thing T.I - Dead And Gone Ft. Justin Timberlake - Copy Take control Take it slowly Talk to me Tangled Team Tear in my heart Tee shirt Teenage Evolution Tempted That's how you know The anthem The big bang The birds are singing at night The broken hearts club The color blue The girl The good part The good side The last time The love club The middle The monster The moth and the flame The mute The night we met (live) The nights The one The outsider The real slim shady The re-up The silence These memories These Times Thinking of you This is America This is what makes us girls This life Thoughts & Prayers Tightrope Time of your life Tiptoe.m4a To be human Together alone Total eclipse of the heart Trust issues Trust Turn Turning out Turning Pages Twenty Flight Rock Twisted Two coins Two fingers U.N.I. Ugly Unconditionally Until we can't (let's go) Up we go Uptown Girl Upward over the mountain Van Halen  - Black And Blue Vines Vulcano Wait a minute! Waiting on the world to change Wake the fuck up Walk on the wild side Walk on water Walking all day Walkway blues Want you back Was there nothing Waterways Waves We are all astronauts We might be dead by tomorrow We R Who We R We stayed up all night We will run Weak Welcome home We're not just friends What they want When I'm gone When we were young Where Is My Mind Where is the love Where the sky hangs Who Are You Why can't I Why Wide awake Wild Ones Wild things Wild Wiser Without me Without you Written in the stars Yesterday You And I You are not a robot You don't get me high anymore You don't know where you stand You got to hide your love away You gotta fight for your right You make my dreams You Young blood Young kids, old love Young, dumb and broke Young Younger now Your shirt Your somebody else Your song

COLLECTION 2:           Everyday           The Funeral           Above The Clouds Of Pompeii           Bury a Friend           ( slowed down ) zipper           Toy Box (Remix) - Cal Scruby           Phantom           Feels like summer           Out of my head           Threatz           Ghosts (dylan owen)           Edward Sharpe  The Magnetic Zeros - Home           Home           Eminem - No Apologies  Dirty Version           Space Bound           Talking To Myself-em           grandson Apologize           American Teen           Mariners Apartment Complex           White Crime           Classic Male Pregame           Gratitude           Personality (feat. T Pain)           It's Alright           Notepad           Ghosts (2)           Who Knew           King For A Day           blue cheese           Skrillex - Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites             Jailhouse blues           Snak The Ripper - Poison           The Wheel           Stuck in the middle with you           Drugs           What Redbone would sound like if you used to know it           Borderline           - Till Its Gone             {L.H.} Ghost on the Shore           03 Adolescence           (8D) Do I Wanna Know           (8D) Lucid Dreams           21st Century Breakdown           Affairs of the Heart           Ain't no rest for the wicked           Ain't No Rest For The Wicked by Cage The Elephant           Aint Your Right           Alec Benjamin - Outrunning Karma           The Alphabeat           Always Forever           American Boy           Animal           Apparently           Aquilo - You Won't Know Where You Stand             Aquilo - You're Like Me             Arrested Youth - Brightside           Ashnikko - Hi, It's Me             Ashnikko - Special           Ashnikko - STUPID  feat. Yung Baby Tate           Ashnikko - Working Bitch             Avicii - Levels           Bad day           Bad Decisions           Bad Things           Bagpipes From Baghdad           Bangarang           Beauty           Better Love           Big Bad World           Big Black Car           Billy Idol - Dancing with myself             Bitch, Dont Kill My Vibe           Bitter Sweet Symphony           The Black Eyed Peas - BIG LOVE           Black Veil Brides - In the End           Blank SpaceStyle           Blindsided           Blood           boy pablo - Feeling Lonely             Brain Damage           Bridges           Broken Arrow           Broken           Broken.           Buisness           CA Plane Pour Moi           Car Radio           Car Radio-Twenty One Pilots           Caring is Creepy - The Shins           Casual Affair           Caterpillar           Catey Shaw - Night Go Slow           Cats, Dogs & Rats           Cemetery Drive           Charles William - No Ordinary           Chelsea Dagger           Chelsea Hotel No 2           Cherub - Doses and Mimosas           Cigarette Daydreams           The Clash At Demonheads - Black Sheep           Cocoa Hooves           Come Home to My Heart (mashup of every lorde song)           Come On Eileen           Comfortably numb           Cops           Cough Syrup           Criminal           Crossfire (8D)           Cryin'           Dan Mangan - Road Regrets [Nice, Nice, Very Nice - Track 01]           Dancing with Myself           Darkness           David Guetta - The Alphabeat           David Guetta (Feat. Jessie J) - Repeat           David Guetta (Feat. Usher) - Without You           Dead Presidents III           Dead Sea           Dear friend           Delete Forever           Democracy (Bonus Track)           Disenchanted           Dog Days Are Over           Doin Time           Doja Cat - Trauma           Dreams           Drunk In Love           Dynoro- Hangover           EAGLE EYE CHERRY - STREETS OF YOU           Eminem - The Ringer             The End           Enter Sandman           Erode           Estelle - American Boy [Feat. Kanye West]           Everyone Says I'm Paranoid           Farewell           Fast Car           Feel Again           Feelings           Fineshrine           First Aid Kit - It's a Shame             First Day of My Life           First of the Year           For Elise           For The First Time           Futuristic - I Guess, I'll Smoke           G.O.M.D.           Getting Better           Ghosting           Give Up           Godzilla           Good LIfe           Good Vibrations           Goodbye Stranger           Gorillaz - Rhinestone Eyes           grandson x Moby Rich Happy Pill           Gun Song  - The Lumineers           Guns For Hands           Gypsy           Happy           Hard Sun           Have you ever seen the rain           Heathens           Heavenly Father           Heavydirtysoul           High Hopes           High You Are           Holy.           Hopsin - Witch Doctor           Humility           The Hype           I Can't Help Myself           I Lost Something in the Hills           I Wanna Get High           I Will           Idaho           If I Go, I'm Goin           In The End           In Too Deep (em)           Indie Rock and Roll           Iris           it ends tonight           Ive Got This Friend           J Ember - Lower Than Low           January 28th           Jazz           Jungle           Kerry Hart - I Know A Gun           Kiiara - Gold (prod. by Felix Snow)           Kill You           The Kills - What New York Used To Be           Lana del Rey - Summertime Sadness (SxAde Synthwave Remix)80s           Lana Del Rey - Young and Beautiful (from The Great Gatsby Soundtrack)           Landslide           Last Night (beer fear)           LauvFeelings             Leader Of The Landslide           Leave it all behind           Leaving Heaven           Let It Go           Let My Love Open The Door           Lisztomania           Little Pistol           Look After You           Love In Stereo           Love letter           The Lumineers - It Wasn't Easy To Be Happy For You (Part 4 Of 10)           The Lumineers - Left For Denver (Part 6 Of 10)           The Lumineers - My Cell           Man To Man           Marsh           Matilda           Me & You Together Song           Meaner Girl           Metallica Enter Sandman             Miike Snow- Animal           Milk Man           Missed Connection           Monster (DotEXE Dubstep Remix)           Morning Song           Move           Mr Fear           My Kind of Woman           My Smile Is Extinct           My Type           Nantes           National Anthem           Need a Minute           New Perspective (acoustic)           New Soul           Nicotine           Night time, my time           No Fun           No Ordinary           No Tellin'           Now I'm In It           Obsessions           Oceans (7 Layers Sessions)           Oh no           Old Time's Sake           On Melancholy Hill           Once Upon A Dream           One Day           Out for a rip           Outrunning Karma           Outta My Head - The Eagle Rock Gospel Singers           Over My Head           Pain - Three Days Grace           Party Favor           Power Trip           Preacher           Promises           Purity Ring - Fineshrine (4AD)           Puzzle Pieces           Re Stacks           Repeat           Return Of Simba           Rhiannon           Rhinestone Eyes           Road Regrets           Rock Bottom           Rocket Man           Rocket Man (I Think It's Going To Be A Long, Long Time)           Roses           ROSIE           Roxanne           Ryan & Dave           Sabotage           Sad Dream           SADE IN THE 90's           Salad Days           Salt And The Sea           San Luis           Santa Fe           Say You Love Me           Scar Tissue           The Scientist           Secrets           Self Aware Bitch           Setting Sun           Seven Wonders           Sex, Money, Sneakers           Shake it off           The Sharpest Lives           Shelter Song           She's A Riot           The Shins - New Slang           Skinny Love (Das Kapital Remix)           SKRILLEX - Bangarang feat. Sirah           Skrillex - First Of The Year (Equinox)           Sleepyhead           Slide Away           Soaked           Soap           Social Sites           Somebody told me           Speed Of Sound           Spin Doctors - Two Princes           St. Tropez- [2014 Forest Hills Drive]           The Stable Song           Stan (Dido)           Stay High           Stay High (Britanny Howard)           Sticky Situation           Stop and Stare           Stop Children What's That Sound           Streets of you           Strung Out           Sublime - What I Got             Summertime Sadness (SxAde Synthwave Remix)           Supalonely           Sweet Talk           Take a Walk           Take Care           A Tale of 2 Cities           Talk           The A Team- Ed Sheeran           Tessellate           TLC - Waterfalls           Tried to Make You My Own           TRNDSTTR           twenty one pilots - Goner             Twenty One Pilots - Heathens (Suicide Squad)           Two Weeks           Two Weeks - Grizzly Bear           Unaccommodating           Undone - FFH           Venice Bitch           The Verve - Bitter Sweet Symphony             Viva La Vida           Waste my time with you           Waterfalls           Watsky - Love Letters           The Way I Am           We Built This City           We Didn't Start the Fire           We think too much           Wet Dreams           What I Got           When You Were Young           White Rabbit           Wild Thing           Wonderwall           Yah Yah           Young and Beautiful           Young and Beautiful in the 80s Lana Del Rey (Retro Remix)           Young Man           Youth    [not alphabetically sorted] Everyday           The Funeral           Above The Clouds Of Pompeii           Bury a Friend           ( slowed down ) zipper           Toy Box (Remix) - Cal Scruby           Phantom           Feels like summer           Out of my head           Threatz           Ghosts (dylan owen)           Edward Sharpe  The Magnetic Zeros - Home           Home           Eminem - No Apologies  Dirty Version           Space Bound           Talking To Myself-em           grandson Apologize           American Teen           Mariners Apartment Complex           White Crime           Classic Male Pregame           Gratitude           Personality (feat. T Pain)           It's Alright           Notepad           Ghosts (2)           Who Knew           King For A Day           blue cheese           Skrillex - Scary Monsters And Nice Sprites             Jailhouse blues           Snak The Ripper - Poison           The Wheel           Stuck in the middle with you           Drugs           What Redbone would sound like if you used to know it           Borderline           Till Its Gone  

COLLECTION 3:

         {L.H.} The Yawning Grave          {L.H.} Time to Run          9 Times Out of 10          17          38 Years Old          1985 (Intro to The Fall Off)          Ain’t That A Kick In the Head          Aint No Peace          All The Places          All The Right Moves          All’s Well That Ends          Always Forever          Angel          Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene          Animal (Sky Fierra-Miike Snow Cover)          The Apple          Apple Tree          AUATC          Back In The U.S.S.R.          Back to you          Bad Girls          Bellbottoms          Bennie And The Jets (Remastered 2014)          Benny Goodman          Big Parade          The Birthday Party          Bitterphobia          Black Sun          Bloodflood pt II          Blue          Bobcaygeon          Boys Will Be Bugs          Brain Damage          Breezeblocks          British Bombs          Brittle Bones Nicky          By The Way          C’est La Vie          Celebrity Status (Acoustic)          The Chain          Chasin’ Echoes (Re-Mastered)          Chasing Pavement By MGK          Chicken Fried          Clean Eyes          Closer          Cold Cold Cold          Coldplay - Shiver            Comin Home          Common People          Concrete          The Creator          Current Joys - A Different Age          Current Joys - Fear          Current Joys - Kids          Curse of the Currents          Dance Monkey          The Dead South - In Hell I’ll Be in Good Company The Umbrella Academy Season 2 OST          Dear Dictator          Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head)          Declan McKenna - Daniel, You’re Still a Child            Declan McKenna - Rapture            Delicate          Depress          Diane Young          Diet Mountain Dew          A different Age          Doin’ Time-Summertime          doja cat - 4 morant (better luck next time)          Doja Cat - Kiss Me More  ft. SZA          Doja Cat - Trauma          Don McLean- American Pie          Dont Feel Like Crying          DOPENESS          Down To My Last Cigarette          Drake - Jungle (432Hz)          Dreamland          Eagles - Hotel California            Ego Death          Elephant Gun          Ellie Goulding - Halcyon          Ellie Goulding - Lights (Single Version)          Eros          Exile          Exquisite Corpse          Fear & Delight          Featherstone          Feel          Feeling Lonely          First Class          For Sure          Freakin’ Out On the Interstate          Fresh Roses          Ghetto Gospel          GHOST          Glass Animals - Heat Waves            Glass Animals - Toes            Got It          Got My Mind Set On You (Version II)          The Grand Optimist          Guerra - Residente          Heart          Heart Of Glass          Heaven Up There          The Heavy- This ain’t No Place For No Hero          Help I’m Alive          Hip-Hop Saved My Life          Hoax          Hold On          Hold On (John)          Holding On To You          Holiday          Home (johhnyswim)          Hometown          Homewrecker          A Horse with No Name          House Of The Rising Sun          Hullabaloo          Human Geometry          Hymn For The Weekend          The Hype          Hypnotized (fever fever)          I Am Not a Robot [Clock Opera Remix]          I know you care          I Lost Something in the Hills          I Love You Like An Alcoholic          I Never Learn          I Should Have Known Better          I Think I’m Going To Kill Myself          I’ll Be Around          Immortal          In A Manner Of Speaking          In The City          In The Shadow Of The Valley          In the Year 2525 (Exordium Terminus)          Infinite Victory-The Notorious XX - Wait What          Island In The Sun          It Was A Sin          It’s called freefall          It’s in the Way That You Use It)          It’s Still Rock and Roll to Me          Jarod Lawley - Company          The Joker          Josie          Just Desserts          Kaleidoscope Dope          The Key to Life on Earth          Khalid - Hundred            Kid Cudi, Eminem - The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady          Kids (Lady Danville- MGMT cover)          The Kids Don’t Wanna Come Home          L.A. Not Alone Girl!          Lady Madonna          The Lakes          Laredo          Lauren O’ Connell - Dancing in the Dark          Lemons (Brye)          Let’s Go Outside          Lights          Listerine          Little lion man          Lockdown          Lonely People          Los Angeles          Love Me Tomorrow          Mad Woman          Madness          Major Tom (Coming Home)          Maniac          Manic Monday          Marcy Me          Marianas Trench Masterpiece Theatre I            MARINA- Savages          Masterpiece Theatre 3 - Marianas Trench with          Meaner Girl          Medicine          Memories          Message          Message For Your Mind          MGK - Mind Of A Stoner ft. Wiz Khalifa            Milky Chance - Cocoon          Milky Chance - Ego            Milky Chance - Unknown Song feat. Paulina Eisenberg          Milky Chance - Where Is My Mind (Pixies Cover)          Miss Atomic Bomb          Modern mystery          Moral of the Story          Move Along          Mustached Messiah          My Life          My Mind Playin Tricks on Me          My Stress          N.E.R.D & Rihanna - Lemon            Nice Fox          Nightmares          No Church In The Wild          No Diggity          No Rain          Novocaine          Numb          Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da          Offer          Oh baby          OK          On The Train Ride Home          Only the Good Die Young          Open By Rhye          Pale Blue Eyes          Panic Attack          The Passenger          Past Perfect          Peach Tinted - The Unknown          Pepper          Phantom Planet - California          Pity Party          Play That Funky Music          Polk Salad Annie          THE PRAYER          Psycho Killer          R.I.P. 2 my youth          Radio Ga Ga          Rare Americans - Berlin          Rare Americans - Garbage Day          Rare Americans - The Moneyz            Rare Americans Gas Mask            Read My Mind          Ready To Go          Rejjie Snow - 23 feat. Caroline Smith          Revolution          Ricky          Rolling Stone          Rose          The run and go          Run Boy Run          Run This Town          Runnin Down A Dream          SAINT MOTEL - Preach            Satellite          Save Me          See You Soon          Sega Genesis          Seven          Seven (taylor)          Seven Wonders          Sex on Fire          Shakin’  Off The Rust          Shameful Company          Shelter Song          Sick Shit          Since The Last Time          Sincerity Is Scary          Sippin          Sister Golden Hair          Sit Down Beside Me          Sleeping Sickness          Sleepyhead          Slick Rick - Children’s Story            Slow It Down          Slow Motion          Small Hands          Small Talk          Snow On Tha Bluff          Sorrow          Soul Of Mischief - 93 Til infinity          Space Oddity          Sparks          Stalker’s Tango          Static On The Radio          Stay Alive          Still Feel          Strung Out          Summer Breeze          Sunshine          Take Me Away          Take me home          Take The Long Way Home          Taylor Swift - the last great american dynasty          Tear you apart          Teenage Wasteland          That’s All          THAT’S THAT          Therapy          They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)          This Is Me Trying          This Life (Vampire Weekend)          Three Second Memory          The Thrill - Wiz Khalifa          To Be Human          To My Enemies          Tokyo          The Trip          Tupac-Keep Ya Head Up          Unknown Mortal Orchestra - So Good at Being in Trouble          Until we bleed          Up all Night (beck)          Vampire Weekend Giving Up The Gun            Video Killed The Radio Star          Vienna (Billy Joel)          Vulcano - Francesca Michielin TESTO          Walking On The Moon          Warm Glow          Wax Tailor - Que Sera          We Can Work it Out          Weeds          The Weight          What A Perfect Day For Crying          What Is Life          Whateva          When It Lands          When The Day Comes          When the Night is Over          Wide Open          Wonderwall          YARMAK - ТУТ МІЙ ДІМ          Yesterday          Yesterday (Atmosphere)          You Are the Right One          You Cant Always Get What You Want          You Don’t Mess Around with Jim          You’re Nobody Till Somebody Wants You Dead          Young And Beautiful          Не приму и даром (Navai , Bahh Tee)          Юность (Dabro

COLLECTION 4:

          2Pac - Changes           2Pac - Keep Ya Head Up             4           (8D) Believer           (8D) Do I Wanna Know           (8D) Don’t Stop Me Now           (8D) Everybody Wants to Rule The World           (8D) It’s My Life           (8D) Lucid Dreams           (8D) Shout           (8D) Stolen Dance           (8D) The Less I Know The Better           (8D) Till I Collapse           (8D) Viva La Vida           (8D)-Another Love           (8D)-Blue Monday           (8D)-Like Toy Soldiers           (8D)-Lose Yourself           (8D)-Ocean Eyes           (8D)-Sing For The Moment           (8D)-Somebody That I Used To Know           (8D)-Summertime Sadness           21 Guns           29 #Strafford APTS           99 Luftballons           1901- phoenix           1979           Affection           Agnes           Ahead By A Century           All These Things I’ve Done           Alt-J (∆) Leon           Always- The Snuts           Ancient Dreams In A Modern Land           Angela           Another Day In Paradise           The Antlers - Kettering           ARE YOU LETTING GO (bennee)           Arizona           arms tonite           Axel Thesleff - Bad Karma           Back 2 Hiphop           Baggage           Bagpipes From Baghdad           Beck - Up All Night           Being special           Bellyache           Ben Franklin           BIG SHOT           Blister In The Sun           Blow At High Dough           Bobby Bloom Montego Bay 1970           boogie (slowed)           Boy Bye (slowed and reverb)           Bread           Burning Pile - Mother Mother (Slowed)           Bury It           Butthole Surfers - Pepper The Umbrella Academy Season 2 OST           Cancer           candy - robbie williams (slowed)           Caves- Noah Kahan           Chaise Longue           champagne problems           Children’s Story           Chris Webby - La La La           Circles           Claire Rosinkranz - Backyard Boy           closure           Cocaine           Coconut Water           Cold War Kids - First           Colorado           Conrad           CONSTANT           The Cost of the Crown - Mercedes Lackey           Courtney Barnett - Before You Gotta Go           Crabbuckit           Dabbla - Psychoville Feat. Graziella  (Prod. Roast Beatz)           Daydreams           Dear Prudence (Remastered 2009)           Democracy (Bonus Track)           Dion - The Wanderer [Fallout 4 - Wanderer Trailer Song]           Doja Cat - Boss Bitch             Doja Cat - Kiss Me More  ft. SZA           Dominoes - Sixty Minute Man - The First Rock and Roll Record!!           (Don’t Fear) The Reaper           Don’t Look Back           Don’t You (Forget About Me)           Donovan - Season of the Witch           Dont Stop Me Now           Dope & Smoke           Down On My Luck (vic mensa)           Drive- Oh Wonder           Drugs (swum)           Easy           easy life - have a great day (visualiser)           easy life - skeletons           Eddie Cochran - Summertime Blues [stereo]           The Effects of Climate Change on Densely Populated Areas           Emerald Lake, AB           Eminem White America (Uncensored)           Emma Louise - Jungle           Eve Of Destruction           Evelyn           Evermore           FALLOUT 4 SPECIAL RAP Dan Bull           False Creek Change           Feel It In My Bones           Feel It Still           Feels           For The Camera           Four Out Of Five           Froot           Fuck U Pal           The Gambler           Gerry Cinamon-Kampfire Vampire           Gerry Cinnamon- Sun Queen           Gerry Cinnamon-Canter           Gerry Cinnamon-Head in the clouds           Gerry Cinnamon-Outsiders           Gerry Cinnamon-Six String Gun           Gerry Cinnamon-The Bonny           Gerry Cinnamon-War Song Soldier           Gerry Cinnamon-Where We’re Going           Get Back (Remastered 2009)           Getting Better (Remastered 2009)           Ghost           Gimme More           Gives You Hell           gold rush           Golden           Good Luck           Goodnight Chicago           Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood           Gorillaz - The Valley of the Pagans ft. Beck (Episode Eight)           The Guess Who - No Sugar Tonight - New Mother Nature           Hahahaohhoho           Happy Little Pill (Remix) s l o w e d           Heavenly Father           Helena Beat           Heroes (2017 Remaster)           High enough (Slowed Down)           Hit the Road Jack           Home- Leo           Hozier - Dinner & Diatribes           Hozier - Nina Cried Power           Hrdza - Štefan Stephen Штефан           I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME           I Follow           I Follow Rivers - Lykke Li           i kissed a girl katy perry s l o w e d           I Lied           I’m Fine (hazel english)           If You Were Here-Thompson Twins           In A Week (hozier)           It’s in the Way That You Use It (1999 Remaster)           ivy           Jackie and Wilson           Jake Bugg - Two Fingers           José González - Line of Fire           The Judge           Kid Cudi, Eminem - The Adventures Of Moon Man & Slim Shady           Kids (Don’t End Up Like Me)           Kings Of Leon - Closer           Kings Of Leon - The End           Kiwi           Knives, Guns & Bed           L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.           La Foret           Laredo           Left Hand Free           Libraries           Little Slice (feat. Danny Skyhigh McClain)           Location           The Logical Song           long story short           The Lovin’ Spoonful - Summer in the City           Made in Heights - Hors d’oeuvre           Majical Cloudz - Downtown           Man’s World           Maneater           maneater ( slowed + bass )           Måneskin - I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE           Maniac           Marijuana           MARINA - Karma           MARINA - Purge The Poison           Marinade           Message In A Bottle-The Police           The Moneyz           Montreal           The Mother We Share           Mr. Loverman (slowed with reverb)           My House           NENA 99 Red Balloons           New America           Nico And The Niners           No More Questions           Not Your Summer           Nothin’ on You (feat. Bruno Mars)           nowhere to run - stegosaurus rex (s l o w e dd o w n)           Number One           Off The Radar           Oh Wonder - Landslide           Oh Wonder - Technicolour Beat           Old Pine           One week           THE OUTER WORLDS...           Pale Blue Eyes           Peace To All Freaks- of Montreal           Peach Pit - Seventeen           PHARAOH - ДИКО, НАПРИМЕР           Pickup Truck           Poor George           Pumped Up Kicks Remix           Pyro           queen of broken hearts           Rapp Snitch Knishes (feat. Mr. Fantastik)           Real Smooth           The Revillos - Rev-Up           RING THE ALARM           Rip It Up Ready Teddy (Remastered 2010)           Rock Bottom           The Rolling Stones - Paint It, Black           Romans Revenge (slowed + reverb)           Rosanna           Roslyn           Run Through The Jungle           Running Wild-Palace           Sedona           Seven Nation Army (Glitch Mob Remix)           She Will Be Loved           Sia - To Be Human (ft. Labrinth)           Sign O’ The Times           Sober (gambino)           Solsbury Hill           Stabilo-Flawed Design             Steve Miller Band - Jet Airliner           Stolen Cars           STORMZY - VOSSI BOP           Stromae - Tous Les Mêmes (Clip Officiel)           Stuck on the puzzle           Technicolour Beat           Therefore I Am           Thrift Shop           Tiffany - I Think We’re Alone Now             Time To Win - Down With Webster           tis the damn season           Treat People With Kindness           Two Ghosts           Ulysses- Franz Ferdinand           The Valley of the Pagans ft. Beck (Episode Eight)           VAULT NUMBER 76 Fallout 76 Song           Ventura Highway           VIDEOCLUB - Amour Plastique           VIDEOCLUB En nuit           VIDEOCLUBRoi           Violent (slowed)           Virginia Beach           Waiting           WALLS           Wasteland, Baby!           Wellerman           West Coast           Whale- Yellow Ostrich           What Goes Around- Comes Around           Wheat Kings by Tragically Hip           WHOKILLEDXIX - Spy  My My I think we have a spy           willow           Wovoka           Yellow Ostrich - Mary (Alternate)           You Don’t Mess Around with Jim           You Get What You Give  1998

COLLECTION 5:

          3AM (matchbox 20)           The 1975 - Chocolate           The 1975 - Give Yourself A Try           Alphaville - Big In Japan           alt-J - Hunger Of The Pine             Apocalypse - Cigarettes After Sex           bbno$, y2k - lalala             Beastie Boys - Get It Together           Belter - Gerry Cinnamon             Big Data - Dangerous (Oliver Remix) euphoria OST           Big Pun - Twinz (Deep Cover 98) (Feat. Fat Joe)           Big Sean - Wolves ft. Post Malone             BIRTHDAY           Blue Foundation - Eyes On Fire             Bon Iver - Perth (Stripped)           Boogie Woogie Bugle Boy           Broken Bells - The High Road           Byjoelmichael - Be With You             California Dreamin’           candy - robbie williams (slowed)           Centerfold           Chase McBride - 1937             Chet Faker - Cigarettes and Chocolate           Chet Faker - Gold             Circus Britney Spears           Creedence Clearwater Revival - I Heard It Through The Grapevine           Daniel Powter - Bad Day             DARE           Don’t Be Nice           Doug E Fresh & Slick Rick-The Show           Ed Sheeran - Grade 8             Eminem - Berzerk           Eminem - No Apologies Dirty Version           Eminem - Tone Deaf           Eminem White America (Uncensored)           Eric B & Rakim - Follow The Leader           Eric B. Is President           Eve Of Destruction           Fall Into Place           Florence + the Machine - Shake It Out             Flower Face - Angela             Flume & Chet Faker - Drop the Game           Footsteps in the Dark, Pts. 1 & 2           From This Valley           Funnel Of Love - Wanda Jackson (ft. the Cramps)           Future Islands -A Dream Of You And Me           G-Eazy - Lady Killers ft. Hoodie Allen           G-Eazy - The Outsider           G-Eazy Achievement           George Ezra - Green Green Grass           Give Yourself A Try           Good Day Sunshine (Remastered 2009)           Gorillaz - Clint Eastwood             Gorillaz - Feel Good Inc           Got To Get You Into My Life (Remastered 2009)           grandson- Apologize           Gregory D and Mannie Fresh - Buck Jump Time           Harry Styles - As It Was           The Head And The Heart - Down In The Valley           Homeless           Homeliss Derilex - Daily Operations           Human of the Year           Hurricane (Johnnie’s Theme)           Hypnotize (2007 Remaster)           I Feel Alive           I Heard It Through The Grapevine           I Saw You Close Your Eyes           I Still Haven’t Found What ‘m Looking For           IDGAF Watsky             Iggy Azalea - Posh Spice (Visualizer)           Insane in the Brain           Intergalactic (Remastered 2009)           Istanbul (not Constantinople)           Iyaz - Replay           Jai Paul - BTSTU           James Hersey - Coming Over (Filous Remix)           Jay-z 99 problems           Johnny Jump Up - Gaelic Storm           Juice WRLD - Conversations             Kavinsky - Nightcall (Drive Original Movie Soundtrack)             Kid Cudi - Tequila Shots           Kid Francescoli -Moon           Kids In America [2020 Remaster]           Kings Of Convenience - Misread           Kings of Leon - Pickup Truck           Kings of Leon - Use Somebody           Lennon Stella -  Thank You (Dido Cover)             Lilly Wood & The Prick and Robin Schulz - Prayer In C (Robin Schulz Remix)           Little Simz - Point And Kill feat. Obongjayar             Little Slice (feat. Danny Skyhigh McClain)           Lord Huron - Meet Me In The Woods           Lord Huron - The World Ender             Lord Huron - We Went Wild             Love Letters           The Lumineers - A.M. Radio             The Lumineers - BRIGHTSIDE             Lupe Fiasco- Hip Hop Saved My Life           M83 - Go! feat Mai Lan           M83 Steve McQueen           Made In Heights - Drexler           Made In Heights - Viices           Maren Morris - My Church             MARINA - New America             MARINA - To Be Human             Marshall Mathers           Medicine (daughter)           Mild Orange - Some Feeling           Milky Chance - Love Again             Milky Chance - Tainted Love             The Moth (Les Deux Love Orchestra Cover) -  Aimee Mann [Mr. Robot S02E12]           Mother Mother - Hayloft I             N.W.A - Straight Outta Compton           Nas - It Ain’t Hard to Tell             NEVER REALLY MINE           New Motion - She Said           O Children - Nick Cave & The Bad See           Of Monsters and Men - Phantom           Of Monsters and Men - Visitor             The Oh Hellos - Soldier, Poet, King           Oh Wonder - Twenty Fourteen           OMC - How Bizzare           Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark - Electricity           Outkast - Two Dope Boyz (In a Cadillac)           Palace - Friends Forever             Peace Prevail           Peach Pit - Vickie           The Pernice Brothers - Judy           Pham - Golden State[feat. Ben Zaidi]           Pham - Movements (feat. Yung Fusion)           PHARAOH - ДИКО, НАПРИМЕР           The Pharcyde - Runnin           Pink Lemonade           Promise           Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Hide           Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Matchbox           Rainbow Kitten Surprise - Mission to Mars           Rare Americans - Black Sheep (Offici 1           Rare Americans - F_K U Pal           Rare Americans - Pandora’;s Box           Rare Americans - PHD           Rare Americans - Rhythm Kitchen (ft. D Smoke)           REMINGTON           REPRISE           Rocket 88 (Original Version) - Ike Turner Jackie Brenston           The Rolling Stones - (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction           RUN DMC, Jason Nevins - It’s Like That           Running Up That Hill           Safe & Sound feat. The Civil Wars           Said The Whale Gambier Island Green           SAINT MOTEL -Move           Saint Valentine           Santigold - Disparate Youth             serial killer - lana del ray (slowed + reverb)           She Wants Me Dead           Sigrid - It Gets Dark           Slaine - 99 Bottles           Snail Mail -Ben Franklin             Snak The Ripper - Eight Hours A Day (High Quality)           Snak The Ripper - Eight Hours A Day             Snak The Ripper - Forgotten             Snak The Ripper - Trust the Process             Snak The Ripper - Yup             Son Of A Preacher Man           Special Ed - I Got It Made             Square Dance           Stick to Your Guns (feat. Julia Nunes)           Stornoway - Zorbing           Strawberries & Cigarettes           Stromae - carmen           Stromae - Fils de joie             Stromae - L’enfer             Stromae - Santé  The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon           Sublime- April 29, 1992           Sunflower- Post Malone           Supertramp - Breakfast in America (Written & Composed by Roger Hodgson)           Surf Curse - Freaks           Tamino - The First Disciple           Taylor Swift – mirrorball           Taylor Swift – peace           These Boots Are Made for Walkin’           This House is a Circus           Tongue Tied           The Tragically Hip - New Orleans Is Sinking (.)           Triggaman (The Showboys)           Ultrasound- Johnny Massacre           Unwell           Wake Owl - Gold           Wallows - Are You Bored Yet (feat. Clairo)           The War On Drugs Red Eyes               Warren G - Regulate   ft. Nate Dogg           Watsky- Bet Against Me [All You Can Do]           Wet Leg - Wet Dream             Where’d All the Time Go?           Wiz Khalifa - So High ft. Ghost Loft           Wonderful Life           World Renown - Come Take A Ride 1994           The xx - Crystalised             The xx - Islands           Young Magic You With Air           Younger Hunger - Dead Inside             The Youth           Youth           Zen- K Flay

COLLECTION 6:

         The Black Keys - Gotta Get Away          Bon Iver - 00000 Million          Bon Iver - Beth/Rest          Bon Iver - Blood Bank          Bon Iver - Flume          Bon Iver - Skinny Love          Bon Iver- Wash          Cage The Elephant - Trouble          CHELJI - 23          David Kushner - Miserable Man            David Kushner - Mr. Forgettable          Dennis Lloyd - NEVERMIND          For Emma          The Glorious Sons - A War On Everything            The Glorious Sons - Come Down            Gorillaz - Cracker Island ft. Thundercat            Gorillaz - Tomorrow Comes Today            Harry Belafonte- Day-O          I Sat by the Ocean          Lil Wayne - Mirror (feat. Bruno Mars)          Madness - Our House          Mungo Jerry - In The Summertime ORIGINAL 1970          My Chemical Romance -Sing          REO Speedwagon - Take It On the Run          Sarah Osborne Fire Moon          The Suburbs - Arcade Fire          T.I - Dead And Gone Ft. Justin Timberlake          THREE DOG NIGHT One  (1969)          Towers - Bon Iver          Vance Joy - Saturday Sun            Young the Giant - My Body

[clownsuu]

why the heck do djmms shoes have heels

Wh- most shoes have heels my guy-?

They were inspired by these type of (mens) shoes-

Every shoe's sole typically always have a type of heel, unless they are flat bottoms but those are usually uncomfortable for work hdhdHDHD (or a type of sandal)

#Charlie you better not come here with your shoe addiction #I'm warning you #Smhhhhhhh #But yeah #Heels gives some support for the feets

[livesincerely]

it’s so easy (too easy) to love you, ch. 1

Also on Ao3

00000

Davey’s just gotten out of class—literally just walked out the door—when his phone starts ringing.

“Davey,” Tony says the moment he answers, not even giving Davey time to say hello, “can you swing by the apartment real quick?”

Davey sighs. “Are you locked out of the house again?”

There’s a guilty silence. Then, “Or maybe I just wanna see you, huh? You don’t know.”

“Tony.”

“Charlie’s the one that lost the spare,” Tony capitulates immediately, there’s an indignant “Hey!” somewhere in the background, “and I left my keys in my locker ‘cause I thought Charlie had his—”

There’s a scuffle of noise, then Charlie’s voice breaks in, “—don’t listen to him Davey, I asked him before we even got on the subway if he had his keys and he said he did but he didn’t even check—”

“—well, I thought you had yours, didn’t I?—”

“—and he was twenty minutes late picking me up from band practice because he was too busy making out with Spot Conlon to come help me carry my stuff—”

“—that was supposed to be a secret you little shit!”

“—you started it!”

Davey pulls the phone away from his ear as the other side of the line descends into a mess of indistinct yelling. He thinks about trying to get their attention, but he decides to just start heading towards the apartment, muting his side of the call while he waits them out—they’ll remember him eventually.

In the meantime, Davey sends a quick text:

Tony and Charlie locked themselves out of the house again

He’s not expecting a response, but Jack must be in-between projects because he gets one almost immediately.

jc again?

And you’re going to have to get a new spare made

fuck okay i’ll take care of it. are you heading over?

I’m walking there now

ur the light of my life dave

Davey can’t help but smile at this, a soft feeling fluttering in his chest. Before he can write back, Jack sends another text:

how did ur midterm go?

I feel good about it! Def did better than I thought it would!

duh youve been living in the library all week ofc ur gonna do great. ill swing by the grocery omw home and pick up some ice cream to celebrate. do we need anything else while im there?

Get a bell pepper and some tomato paste, I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. And we need more laundry detergent.

fuck yes im starving! can we do garlic bread too?

Come home on time and we’ll see.

u drive a hard bargain. kerian owes me a favor so he can stay late tonight lol

“Davey?” The sound of Charlie’s voice, tinny and muffled, prompts Davey to lift his phone back to his ear; it seems like he might’ve been calling Davey’s name for a while. “Are you still there?”

“I’m still here,” Davey confirms.

“So are ya comin’ or what?” Tony cuts in, ever impatient. “I’m roasting out here!”

“Well, I was thinking about leaving you to ruminate on your poor life choices,” Davey responds dryly, “but I guess I can come let you in, since you asked so nicely.”

“Thanks, Davey,” Charlie says.

“I’ll be there soon,” Davey confirms.

“Hurry, will ya? Much longer and I’m gonna get heatstroke and die,” Tony declares.

Davey rolls his eyes. “Goodbye, Tony.”

00000

When he arrives at Jack’s building some twenty minutes later, Davey finds Tony and Charlie right where he expects them: crowded together in the little bit of shade the roof’s overhang offers, wearing identical grumpy expressions that brighten immediately when they spot him approaching.

"Finally!" Tony exclaims, shooting to his feet. "What took you so long?"

“Stop losing your keys and you won’t have to wait for me,” Davey counters, slotting his key into the deadbolt and hefting open the heavy exterior door. He props it open with his hip and lets Tony and Charlie scurry past him into the AC. “You couldn’t get anyone to buzz you in?”

“Old Man Davis hasn’t gotten his hearing aid replaced yet,” Charlie explains as they climb the stairs up to the second floor, “and Mrs. Ikeda isn’t home.”

“She joined a new book club,” Tony adds. “She won’t be back till late.”

“Oh, I’ll have to ask her about it when I see her next,” Davey muses.

He gets the apartment door unlocked and the boys pile inside, tossing their backpacks down with dramatic groans of relief.  Charlie makes a beeline for his bedroom; Davey expects Tony to do the same but he takes a seat at the kitchen table instead, booting up his laptop with a couple of keystrokes.

“I’ve got a paper due in English tomorrow,” Tony explains. “Can you look it over once it’s finished? Maybe later this evening”

“Of course,” Davey replies. “What’s it on?”

“Lord of the Flies.”

Davey’s nose wrinkles up. “Oh, I hated that one. What’s the essay prompt?”

“Identify Golding’s argument about human nature as proposed in Lord of the Flies,” Tony reads off the top of the assignment outline. “Then make an argument agreeing or disagreeing with his assessment, using evidence from the text.”

Davey rolls his eyes. “Good to see that high school literature classes haven’t changed much in the last few years,” he says with a sigh. “How much have you written so far?”

“Oh, I haven’t even started it yet,” Tony casually rebuts.

“Is everything going okay?” Davey asks, frowning slightly. “If things are getting worse we can make an appointment—”

But Tony waives his concerns aside. “Nah, this is regular old procrastination, not ADHD procrastination. Like ya said, Lord of the Flies sucks ass, so I just didn’t want to write it.”

“Well, let one of us know if you start having trouble,” Davey says.

"Okay, mom,” Tony agrees, somewhat distracted. He’s already got a blank document pulled up on his laptop, a battered and thoroughly dog-eared copy of the book laying open beside him.

Davey looks at him for another moment, then he shrugs and continues making his way into the kitchen—he figures there’s no need to worry unless Racer starts actually missing assignments. And he’s right: Lord of the Flies does suck ass.

By the time Jack gets home they’re each fully entrenched in different activities: Davey’s washed a sink full of dishes and is working on drying the last few pieces of silverware, Tony is still posted up at the kitchen table, carefully hammering out a draft of his paper, and there are the familiar sounds of Charlie working through different musical scales on his oboe in the back bedroom.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jack calls jokingly as he enters. There’s a rustle of plastic and soft thunk of the front door closing behind him, then he comes around the corner into the dining room with an armful of groceries.

“Hey, Jack,” Davey greets absently. He starts rifling through the bags almost before Jack can finish putting them down. “Did you get the tomato—?”

“I got the tomato paste,” Jack says, kicking off his shoes and leaving them in the entryway with all the others, “and I picked up some more of that fancy coffee you like from the place around the corner, even though it’s expensive as all hell.”

“Don’t judge me,” Davey replies, gathering up an armful of vegetables and carrying them further into the kitchen. “You spend a semester grading 'Intro to Shakespeare' homework and tell me how much caffeine you consume.”

“I’m just saying, the rest of us schmucks drink regular coffee and do just fine,” Jack continues. “You can feed your crippling caffeine addiction just as well with Folgers and it’ll cut down on the grocery bill.”

“Watch it, Kelly,” Davey says, pointing a finger teasingly in Jack’s direction. “Smartasses don’t get dinner.”

“‘s that so?” Jack asks with a grin. “Then why the hell are we still feeding Tony?”

“I heard that,” Tony grumbles from the kitchen table.

“Yeah, you were supposed to,” Jack says, moving over to Tony and slinging an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a side hug. Tony bats at Jack’s hand but makes no real attempt to get away. Then Jack says, “So, I hear you and your brother lost another set of keys.”

Tony throws Davey a look of the deepest betrayal. “You told Jack?”

“Of course he did,” Jack says. “Someone’s gonna have to get new ones made, and it sure ain’t gonna be either half of the dynamic duo.”

“Charlie lost the spare,” Tony says, mercilessly throwing Charlie under the bus while he’s not in the room to defend himself. “And I didn’t lose my keys, I just left them in my locker.”

“Uh huh, save it for the judge,” Jack responds, ruffling Tony’s hair. “Just know if I end up having to change the deadbolt, it’s coming outta your subway money.”

“Jackie, leave Tony alone,” Davey comments mildly over Tony’s spluttering protests. “He needs to work on that paper and you’re distracting him.”

“Yeah, Jack,” Tony repeats, a little smug. “You’re distracting me.”

Davey turns to look at him, one eyebrow raised. Tony quickly busies himself with his homework.

Davey makes quick work of washing a green pepper and peeling an onion, then starts dicing both into small, neat pieces. He feels more than hears Jack sidle up behind him: the familiar weight of his gaze, the solid presence at his back. He stands there quietly, leaning against the counter-top and just watching Davey cook; unbothered, Davey leaves him be for the moment and moves to the stove, scraping the chopped vegetables off the cutting board and into a pan to start softening.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Davey glances over his shoulder at Jack and says, “Are you just going to stand there or are you going to help me with this? You know there’s no loitering in my kitchen.”

“Well, I’m nothin’ if not a law abidin’ citizen,” Jack drawls in answer, the corner of his mouth quirking up. He rolls up his shirt sleeves, exposing the long, muscular line of his forearms, and washes his hands in the kitchen sink. “Where do you want me?”

Davey licks his lips. “Think you can handle browning the hamburger?”

“I’m sure I can manage,” Jack responds with a smirk.

Davey steps out of the way, letting Jack take his place in front of the sauce pan while he gets a pot of water set up on a different burner, salting it so it boils faster. They settle into their familiar dinner-routine, moving around and past each other with ease as they work on getting everything ready, chattering idly all the while.

“I’ve gotta head back out this evening,” Jack says at one point, as he sets the tray of garlic bread in the oven to toast. “Johnson’s got me working a night shoot and I have to be downtown by 9.”

“How long is the session?” Davey asks. “Here, will you open this?”

“We’re scheduled for five hours, but we might get to wrap it up early if everything goes well.” Jack’s hand brushes against the small of Davey’s back and they trade places again, Davey stepping back up to the stove-top and Jack rifling around in one of the drawers for a can opener.

“Are ya spendin’ the night or are ya headin’ back to campus?”

“Depends on how much help Tony needs with his paper,” Davey replies, shaking his head. He takes the can when Jack hands it back to him and empties it into the saucepan, then gives the whole thing a good stir. “We might be at it a while.”

Jack huffs out a laugh. “Well, if you do spend the night, go ahead and take the bed. The extra blankets are in the usual place.”

Davey sets down the spoon he’s holding, crossing his arms across his chest. “Jack,” he says warningly.

“Davey,” Jack echoes back in the exact same tone of voice. In the background there’s the faint sound of Tony muttering, “Jesus, not this again.”

“Jack, I’m not gonna kick you out of your bed,” Davey says, rehashing the same old argument for what feels like the millionth time. “I’m perfectly fine taking the couch.”

“Or you could do the smart thing and just take the bed,” Jack counters as he always does. “I’m not even gonna be here to use it.”

“You’ll want an actual mattress when you get home, especially if you’re out late.” Davey argues. “I don’t even have class tomorrow, it’ll be fine.”

“If you don’t take the bed I’ll just carry you in there once I get back,” Jack says, as if that's a perfectly reasonable course of action. “So you might as well save me the trouble.”

Davey sputters. “That’s not— You can’t just— That only happened a couple of times!” he finally gets out.

"Well, actually, it's been more like four or five times," Jack says with a smirk. "But hey, who's counting?"

"That trick won't keep working," Davey grumbles, feeling the back of his neck start to heat up.

“You sleep like a fucking rock, Dave,” Jack says, rolling his eyes. “Why wouldn’t it keep working?”

“No, see, that’s exactly why I should take the couch,” Davey insists. “It’s not like the sound of you coming in will wake me up—”

Jack turns to face him. Davey cuts off, slightly startled—he hadn’t realized they were standing so close to each other.

“Just take the bed, Davey,” Jack all but orders, and those dark eyes with that low voice are a heady combination. “Please?”

Davey bites at his lower lip, suddenly flustered. “Fine,” he reluctantly concedes, hoping Jack will attribute his flushed face to the heat of the kitchen. “Just this once.”

"Thank you," Jack says with a dramatic heave of his chest, looking much too pleased with himself. "Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"

"You're letting the garlic bread burn," Davey answers tartly.

"Oh shit—!"

00000

Later that evening, after they’ve all finished eating and have cleaned up, Davey, Tony, and Charlie are still gathered around the table, working on various assignments.

Davey is finishing the readings for his Monday lecture in between helping Tony finalize the exact wording of his essay. Charlie sits opposite him, working through his geometry homework and every so often there’s a huff of breath and the rubbery scratch of an eraser—Davey makes a mental note to swipe some more pencils and notebook paper from the grad lounge when he’s there next.

Davey notices the time and frowns. “Jack,” he calls out, “it’s already 7:30. If you don’t leave soon you’re gonna be late for work.”

There’s a clamor of noise from down the hall, then Jack appears, freshly showered and fumbling to put on his socks and button up a clean shirt at the same time.

“Fuck, Johnson is gonna kill me,” Jack grumbles. He pats down his pockets, then groans. “Christ, has anyone seen my—”

“Your wallet and keys are on the counter by the microwave,” Davey says, pointing. “And take a jacket, it’s supposed to rain later.”

“Great, I’m sure the models will love that,” Jack says with a groan. “Hopefully we’ll be able to get through everything without getting rained out.”

He meanders his way over to the table, peering at Charlie’s homework from over his shoulder. “If Tony is still busy and ya get stuck, text me,” Jack tells him. “I probably won't be able to answer right away, but if ya send me a picture of the problem I can probably talk ya through it between shots.”

Charlie hums his acknowledgment, still scribbling furiously. Jack turns to Tony.

“Listen to whatever Davey tells you about your paper,” he advises. “The only reason I got through undergraduate writing was ‘cause Davey proofread all my shit before I turned it in.”

“I thought I was s’pposed to always listen to Davey,” Tony says distractedly, tongue poking out between his teeth as he types.

Jack pauses, considering. “Yeah, just do that.”

“Jack—”

“Oh, and Dave cooked, so you shitheads better do the dishes, get me?”

“Jack, you’re gonna be late,” Davey cuts in firmly, holding out Jack’s jacket for him.

“Alright, I’m going,” Jack says, shrugging it on, and he finally starts making moves towards the door.

He gives Charlie one last pat on the shoulder and cuffs Tony lightly across the back of the head in a slightly rougher, but no less affectionate goodbye, which is per usual. Then he turns to Davey, tips his chin up, and kisses him right on the mouth, short and sweet.

“Lock the door behind me and don’t forget to—” Jack stops mid-sentence, then turns bright red.

“Um,” says Charlie.

“Holy shit,” says Tony.

Jack’s mouth opens and closes soundlessly. Finally, he stammers out, “I u-uh— I-I d-didn’t mean—“

Davey doesn’t respond. He couldn’t, even if he wanted to—he’s frozen in place, his mind a sudden wash of static. For a moment, they just stare at each other. Then Jack blurts, “gottagoseeyoulaterbye,” and bolts out the front door.

Davey’s not sure how long he stands there, staring blankly into space, utterly dumbfounded.

“Davey?” Charlie asks hesitantly. “Are you okay?”

There’s a strangled, choking noise. A split second later, Davey realizes it’s coming from him.

"...What just happened?"

#newsies #javid #jack kelly #davey jacobs #*final cut #*the writing desk #*editor's note #the one where it's domestic #oof this was a long time coming #this au might become its own series #the javid coparenting vibes are REAL and i NEED them #btw there will be a couple more chapters of this so stay tuned

[bleachanimefan1]

Oblitus Part Nine

Addict 

Anna sat Angel's phone back on the dresser and looked down at Fat Nuggets lying on the bed. She patted him on his head.

 "I'll get him back." She said. She stood up and walked out of the bedroom and continued down the hallway. As she made it to the stair case in the main lobby, she descended down them, heading towards the front door. As she reached out and grabbed the door knob a voice stopped her.

"Hey darling, where are you going?" Alastor said. Anna jumped, startled, and quickly turned around to see the radio demon standing right in front of her. She stared with wide eyes back into Alastor's red ones who were staring back at hers.

"Where did you come from?!" Anna demanded angrily, as she tried to calm her heart from beating out of her chest. Alastor made a wide grin and laughed.

"I have eyes everywhere, sweetheart!" He told her. Anna jumped back in shock as she saw multiple dark shadows come out from the dark corners of the room and surrounded themselves near the radio demon and the human. She noticed a certain shadow, that resembled Alastor, as it leaned on the demon's shoulder whispering into his ear. Anna frowned watching the two, suspiciously. Alastor's eyes widen as his shadow told him something then he turned his head back to Anna.  

"You're going to try and get disgusting wretch cause back?" Alastor questioned as he turned his head sideways, curious.

"I don't have to answer you." Anna said with her arms crossed. "Besides, it's not like you care, anyway." Anna heard a sharp static emitted from Alastor. She looked up and saw that the demon had a strange look on his face as if he was lost in his thoughts. Anna sighed and turned around opening the door.

"Don't tell Charlie or Vaggie where I went. I'll be back soon."

No, you won't, you stupid girl! You really don't know who you are going up against! Alastor wanted to shout out to stop her but something within him made him stop. That feeling again. He hated it. It made him feel weak.

Alastor gritted his teeth as he stared at the human woman with a strained smile on his face. Alastor's shadow looked at him then to the human then back at him with an suspicious look on it's face. Then it's eyes widen and grinned evilly, cackling slightly. Without looking at it, Alastor punched his shadow in the face, making it disappear.

"Okay, I'll distract the princess until you return!" Alastor grinned. As Anna was about to leave and shut the door and heard Alastor say something else.

"However, if you are in danger and in need of help, just call out my name." Alastor couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth. Did he really just say that?

Anna's brows furrowed in confusion as she glanced back at the demon before shutting the door, closing it.

It seemed like hours as minute after minute ticked by, as Anna waited, waited, and waited...

 "Are you ready to raise some hell?" Anna heard someone ask. She looked up and saw a woman with a red cyclops eye with pink wild bushy untamed hair in a ponytail, and light pale skin with freckles.

"You're Cheri?" Anna asked.

 "Fuck ya, I am! I guess you're the bitch that I spoke to on the phone?" Cheri questioned as she looked up and down at Anna, eyeing her. Anna nodded. Cheri rolled her eyes and huffed.

"I don't get why Angel wasted his time helping a useless sack of meat like you." She said.

 "Should we get going? I'd like to get this done quickly." Anna replied, ignoring the demon's remark. Cheri grinned darkly and grabbed Anna's hand, dragging her like a rag doll as the two headed towards the studio. 

As the two arrived at Valentino's studio, Cheri and Anna hid near an alley watching some demon clients walking inside. There was a bouncer guarding the door as he let them in.

"How are we going to get inside?" Anna asked, worried, eyeing the bouncer.

"I can get in just fine, but you on the other hand..." Cheri murmured as she trailed off looking at Anna, with a finger on her chin, thinking. 

"What about me?" Anna asked.

"You're too clean. You need to dress a little more trashier." Cheri tells her. Anna's eyes widen in surprise. "The sluttier the better!"

"What?!" She gasped like a fish out of water. "No way!"

"This is for Angel! Do it for him!" Cheri hissed. Anna cringed. She really did not want to do this. However, Anna looked back towards the Studio. Who knows what torture he was going through in there. Anna sighed. She is going to regret this! But, for Angel...even if it was her dignity, she'll put it aside for now.

As the bouncer checked some of demons in, his eyes nearly bulged out in shock, jaw dropping slightly, seeing Cheri walked up.

"Y-You!" He sputtered. Cheri grinned and walked up to him patting the bouncer on his face.

"Won't ya be a doll and let us in?" She asked, giving a the demon a wink. He frowned.

"On no, Val's order. I'm not supposed to let YOU in." He growled and jerked his thumb. "Beat it!"

However, as the bouncer looked behind Cheri, his jaw dropped slightly seeing Anna as she walked up to them. The woman's hair was frazzled in a mess like she had gotten out of bed. She had some mascara applied to her eyes and dark eye shadow. Her shirt was ripped across her chest revealing her cleavage as the tops of her breasts perked up slightly. Lastly, her blue jeans wear ripped above her knees into a short skirt.

The bouncer eyed her up and down practically ogling her like she was candy and drooling. Anna twitched, feeling completely degraded. She walked up to the bouncer demon and laid her hand on his chest, leaning closer.

 "Hey, we're kind of in a bit of a hurry. Would ya be a pal and let us in? I'll make it worth your while!" Anna said, fluttering her eyes. 

"Right this way, ladies!" The demon gestured them inside.  

Anna yelped as she felt a hard slap on her butt as she walked past. Anna turned her head back towards the bouncer seeing him throw her a flirtatious wink.

"Call me!"

She smiled nervously and quickly followed after Cheri as they walked into the Studio. 

"Way to go, girl! He couldn't keep his eyes off you!" Cheri cheered. However, her grin slightly dropped seeing Anna barfing in a nearby trash can. She cringed with disgust as she looked away.

"Man, you're pathetic."

"I know I'm sorry." Anna moaned. Cheri sighed and walked over to her holding her hair hair up.

"I'm worried about Angel." 

"Don't worry, I'm pretty sure he's fine. He's tough. But, I'd be worried more worried about yourself right now." Cheri said. "What's with your hair?"

"What do you mean-" Anna reached up touching her head only to feel something protruding at the top, an ear. A deer's ear.

"Oh my god!" Anna cried in shock. 

As they entered deeper into the Studio, Anna heard loud sexy music blasting. There was a large crowd gathering near a catwalk. A couple of demons cheered and cat-called, throwing money, as they watched someone dancing on a pole. Anna advanced a little closer, pushing past some demons, to get a better look. Her eyes widen in shock, seeing that it was Angel. She turned to Cheri, only to find that the cyclops wasn't there. She had lost her in the huge crowd. 

"Psst! Angel!" Anna shouted, over the loud music blasting in the background, calling out to the spider demon. "Angel!" She waved her hands in the air to get his attention.

Angel hooked his legs as he spun around the pole, only for his eyes to be met with Anna's. He nearly slipped, losing his balance. 

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!" Angel exclaimed in disbelief. Anna climbed onto the stage, walking over to Angel grabbing his hand. A couple of demons in the crowd watched, in confusion, wondering if this was part of the show.

"We're here to get you out of here." 

"We?" Angel questioned.

"Cheri's here, too! Now, come on let's go!" Anna explained, pulling on the spider demon's hand. She saw Angel looking around the room nervously as his eyes shifted away from her. 

"You need to leave now!" Angel hissed, urgently. Anna shook her head.

"Not without you." 

Boom! Anna and Angel jumped as an loud explosion went off as Cheri threw out some bombs, quickly dispersing the crowd, scaring them. 

"Move your asses, you two!" Cheri hollered out, tossing some more bombs at some of the body guards that were firing at them.

Suddenly, Anna was ripped from Angel and tossed, landing hard on her back. Anna groaned. A large shadow towered over her. She heard a low rumble as someone laughed, followed by another, a woman's voice, laughing, maniacally.  

A pair of hands grabbed Anna by her wrist, pinning them above her head, as they held her down to the floor. She tried to break free, but to no avail. 

Anna looked up to see a large demon with pale blue skin, that resembled a moth, as his red eyes stared back at hers. He was wearing heart shaped glasses and also a red and white fur-lined coat with hearts all over it, followed by a matching top hat with a zebra striped design. 

"Well, well, well...what do we have here?" Valentino grinned, darkly, staring down at Anna. She swallowed nervously staring up at the tall demon.

"Aren't you a cutie!" Anna heard a woman's voice laugh above her.

She tilted her head up to see a woman, who was holding her down. She had grey brownish skin, with red, burgundy, and white hair tied into to pigtails in lace ties. She was dressed in a long black and white tea length dress with heart designs on it, black tights, and flat red shoes with white balls on them. Anna felt her heart pounding in her chest as she saw the woman make a sickening grin showing her sharp teeth.

"I wonder what sounds you would make when I pluck those beautiful blue eyes out?" The harlequin minion, pondered.   

"Val, Velvet, leave her alone!" Angel cried out for them to stop. He looked over at Cheri Bomb, seeing her preoccupied with the guards, holding them back. She was far out of the two's reach and couldn't help them. The spider demon gritted teeth in frustration, feeling helpless. He had no way to help, as Valentino had taken away his gun when he arrived at the Studio.

"Damn it!" Angel growled to himself. 

Anna shivered as Velvet leaned over her with a strange look in her eyes. She bent closer down towards Anna's chest. Anna turned her head away from her when she heard Velvet gasp, gleefully.

"Hey! We've got a breather over here, Tino!" Velvet chuckled, evilly, as she looked up to the moth demon. Valentino made a twisted grin as he kneeled down to the human, lying on the floor. 

"How interesting, I wonder how such a pretty thing like you ended up down here with a bunch of sinners like us?" He asked. 

She closed her eyes as she squirmed trying to get Valentino off of her. 

"Get off me!" Anna cried out, as she struggled to get him of her.

"Assuming from your reaction, I'm going to imply that you are a virgin, am I correct?" Valentino chuckled.

Anna's eyes widen as she felt her blood run cold as the pimp's hands began to pry her legs apart.

 Anna took in a sharp breath as panic began to settle. She screamed. 

"ALASTOR!!!" Anna screamed.

#hazbin hotel #alastor #alastor hazbin hotel #alastor radio demon #angel dust #alastor's shadow #cheri bomb #Fanfiction #OC

[holylulusworld]

Out of place

Summary: As Dean’s non-hunter girlfriend you feel out of place. Leaving you alone at the bar doesn’t make you feel better.

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Characters: Jo Harvelle, Charlie Bradbury, Sam Winchester, OFC Arielle

Warnings: angst, language, insecure reader, non-hunter reader, comforting, fluff, alcohol abuse (no addiction)

Words: 2,6 k

Divider by @writeyourmindaway​

Out of place, that’s how you feel as Dean talks to Jo about his latest hunt. She’s glued to his lips, absorbing everything your boyfriend has to say. He talks and talks, ignoring you the whole evening. 

It’s not like you took the day off to have the chance to go out. It’s not like you waited for three weeks for him to come around only to leave you alone in this shady bar, talking to other hunters.

You feel out of place as Sam starts talking to Garth about something you don’t quite understand. You are not a hunter; you know monsters are lurking in the dark. There are demons, vampires, and other creatures trying to kill people but right here and now, you feel lost.

“You don’t feel like you belong either, huh…” Charlie sighs. You like the red-haired, quirky girl, at least she is talking to you like you are a normal human being.

“I feel out of place, again. I took the day off to spend time with Dean only to sit here and watch him talking to this blonde girl, a huntress. I know I’m not like her, but it would’ve been nice to spend time with the man I love after three weeks of being worried about him and his brother.” Your eyes meet Jo’s as she smirks at you, of course, she does.

“She’s a bitch, I guess,” Charlie mutters sticking her tongue out, making Jo look away. “Always tries to get close to Dean. Pitiful girl.”

“At least she’s got his attention, can’t say the same for me, Charlie. Maybe Dean lost interest. I’m not like these girls. Most of the time I’m busy at work, with distance learning and doing silly things like painting my walls pink. I guess he finally realized we do not match.” You whisper as Jo walks toward the counter to order another drink.

“Finally! You should see Dean is not your type of man, or rather you are not his type. He’s bored with you, just too nice to break things up.” Jo snarls and you try to ignore her. “Dean is not into little girls who can’t defend themselves. You better leave.”

Charlie jumps up, glaring at Jo. “Who asked you for your opinion, stupid bitch,” Charlie yells and Dean turns around, ready to defend Jo.

“What’s wrong with you, Charlie? We are all friends here.” Dean mutters glaring at his friend.

“Really? ‘cause your so-called friend attacked your girlfriend and you didn’t even realize, too busy to talk to anyone but her.” Charlie retorts.

“Y/N was having fun with you. I talked to a few friends. Now apologize to Jo. She did nothing wrong.” Dean warns and Charlie scoffs. “Or else - what? Will you ignore me like you ignored your girlfriend? Do you let Jo talk low about me like she did with Y/N not two minutes ago?” Charlie snarls.

“Charlie, Jo would never…” Dean tries, and you place one hand onto Charlie’s shoulder. “It’s fine.” You whisper. “I’m tired, I’m going to leave, Dean. Have fun with your friends.” You say hoping he will follow you outside but he’s busy talking to Jo, who started to ‘fake’ crying.

“Night.” You add before you walk out of the bar, with Charlie by your side.

“Asshole,” Charlie mutters slinging an arm around your shoulder. “I’m sorry for yelling…”

“Nah, I finally saw the truth, Jo is right. Dean is bored or rather he lost interest. I’m just me, not some fighting goddess, armed to her teeth.” You shrug. “I’ll drive back home.”

“Do you have a car?” Charlie asks.

“No, Dean picked me up. I’ll call my roommate. She will pick me up, owes me one.”

“’m sorry for the shitty night. Maybe we can meet up again and have a girl’s night?” Charlie asks and you nod. “Sure, Charlie. Anytime.”

“Cool.”

“Will you tell me what happened, hun?” Arielle asks and you look out of the window. How shall you tell her why Dean lost interest?

“Dean lost interest. I’m too boring, I guess. The women he’s working with are exciting and dunno…” You sniffle.

“He’s an idiot, you know that. Hell, you almost lost your job only to spend the night with him, such an asshole. Should cut his balls off.” Your friend mutters and you give her a cracked smile.

“I knew this wouldn’t work out. We are too different, Arielle. I just was head over heels for him, not his fault I’m not what he wants. Can we buy ice cream?”

“Already did. Steve didn’t show up, which means he decided to go back to his ex-girlfriend. We are two sad examples of womanhood. Maybe we should become nuns?” Arielle teases and you chuckle lightly at her comment.

“Maybe we should, but the ice cream, booze, and your vibrator would break the rules for sure, girl.” You smirk and she sighs heavily. “Fuck, now a girl can’t even become a nun. I won’t give Jerry up …”

“You are still calling your vibrator Jerry?” 

Her eyes meet yours and she smirks. “Jerry O’Connell still makes me hot and bothered.” Arielle retorts. 

“Whatever floats your boat, Arie…” Talking to your friend let you forget your heartbreak for a moment. You waited ten minutes outside the bar with Charlie before you called Arielle, he didn’t come to say goodnight…

“Charlie? Where is Y/N? I thought she went back to the motel with you.” Dean asks glancing around the room, only to find your things are gone, only the keys to the room lie abandoned on your shared bed.

“Well, she’s back at home. She thought you are more into talking to Jo than spending time with your girlfriend who almost lost her job only to have a day off, to spend it with you. I can tell, you lost Y/N tonight. I wouldn’t dare to call her ever again.” Charlie grunts grabbing her bag, ready to leave too.

“Where are you going?” Sam asks.

“Home, like Y/N. We are not needed or wanted here. Jo is the better choice to spend your time with. I guess she just waits for you to show up…”

“Wait…what do you mean with never call Y/N again? She’s my girlfriend.” Dean gasps glancing at the keys on the bed.

“Dude, you ignored everything I told you. Jo said to your girlfriend you are bored, that you don’t match, okay. Y/N had doubts herself, Jo pushed her further but what killed her was your reaction. You soothed Jo, hell that bitch shed crocodile tears, Dean. Everyone knows she is into you. Tonight, you ruined your relationship for Jo. Have fun with her. I mean, you will need a new girlfriend after all.” Charlie snickers before she leaves the room.

“Fuck…” Dean curses glancing at his brother.

“Yeah, Dean…fuck…” Sam says dryly flinching as Charlie slams the door shut. “I guess you lost your girlfriend and we lost Charlie as a friend tonight.”

“I’m done, going to hit the hay and sleep,“ you groan.

“Come on, spoilsport, one more drink,” Arielle chuckles as you shake your head, trying to get up slowly. “No way. I have to work tomorrow.” You slur.

“Tomorrow? It’s already tomorrow and today is Sunday, hun. Let’s booze the guys away…” Arielle grabs the bottle only to find it empty. “Damn, now I need a substitute…uh…Jerry…I’m coming.” 

“Go and get him, girl.” You squeal, grabbing your phone before walking into your room. You want to check your messages, but your sight is blurry, and you are too tired to read anything. Falling onto your bed, fully clothed, face first you close your eyes, falling asleep.

“Dean, we shouldn’t break into her house,” Sam whispers.

“She didn’t answer my messages, Sammy. Y/N could be in danger. I must be sure she’s alright. Wait here and I’ll call you if I need back up.”

“Fine…”

Watching his brother picking your lock Sam shakes his head. Dean is busy sneaking into your house, silently walking toward your room to find you snoring onto your bed, obviously drunk as your whole room smells like booze.

“Baby?” Dean whispers and you flinch. “Y/N?”

“Fuck off, I’m tired, Arielle. No more booze, ice cream, or Jerry.” You mutter and Dean gulps hard. “Jerry?” Dean mutters and your eyes snap open.

“Did you forget your vibrator's name, babe? You are way drunker than me…” Giggling you roll onto your back, slowly sitting up only to watch the room spinning. “Arie, can you tell the room it shall stop spinning?” You mutter.

“Fuck, how much did you drink, Sweetheart?” Dean curses catching your fall as you try to get up. “You smell like Dean, hun. You know, he lost interest. I’m way too boring…” You sniffle resting your head against Dean’s chest. “I loved him, never told him so.”

“Baby, shhh…you need some rest,” Dean whispers kissing your hair softly. “We will talk tomorrow.”

“It’s tomorrow, bitch. I never want to see him again. That asshole left me alone for this false blonde chick. She was smirking at me the whole evening, knowing Dean forgot about me. She told me I’m not what he wants…I’m tired, Arielle…” You whine tugging at Dean’s flannel. “Fuck, you have some muscles, babe…”

Passing out in Dean’s arms you don’t feel him placing you onto the bed before he sends his brother a message to drive back to their motel.

His arms move around your body as you groan into his firm chest. “Love you too, Y/N.” He whispers.  

“Wait, please…wait…” Dean pleas as you run out of the room, beyond mad he came to your house, no sneaked in to act like nothing happened last night.

“I’ve been waiting long enough, Dean. Last night, the last three weeks. Is all I’m doing - waiting for you to come back, waiting for you to be with me, hell even waiting for you to recognize me. I’m just tired of being the wrong girl. Go back to Jo and have fun. This is, we are over.” You yell throwing your shoe at Dean. Dodging your attack, he looks at you, surprised by your attack.

“You’re good at aiming…” He chuckles and you grab your other shoe, hitting his head. “Ouch, Sweetheart. Stop throwing things at me. Let’s talk things out. I’m sorry for not talking to you, Y/N. Please. Charlie is pissed too.”

“’cause she’s pissed, Dean. You invited her to have a few drinks and she was alone. Only I talked to Charlie. If you don’t want to spend time with a person, do not invite them!” You yell.

“Baby, please wait.” Dean gasps as you toss a vase into his direction, followed by a heavy book. “Holy…” Dean is rushing forward, tackling you, making you fall onto the couch behind you.

“Get off me!” You mutter pushing against his chest as he landed on top of you.

“Please hear me out. I’m sorry. We can spend the whole day. No more other people, no more Sammy. Just you and me.” Dean tries and you scoff.

“Till someone calls you, Dean. I can’t believe we live not far away from each other and can’t find one day to spend it together. There’s always a case or someone in need of your help. Then we finally have the chance to spend time together and you prefer to talk to anyone but me. Save it, you are not interested in me. I got it. I’m just the boring girl next door - no huntress goddess.” You mutter pushing against Dean’s chest, but he won’t budge.

“That’s what you believe? Baby, I love you are not like Jo or the others. I need something, someone normal in my life, grounding me. I don’t want a huntress, I want you. I swear I’ll spend more time with you from now on.” Dean tries but you shove him off your body.

“You are like Arielle’s ex. Steve could never decide on one thing. He never chose her over someone else. I don’t want to be a second choice or whatever. I want to come first, at least for one day.” Dean’s eyes meet yours as you look at him, unsure what to do with your hands, playing with the seam of your shirt.

“Y/N, please let me show you I can be a better boyfriend to you. I’ll do anything.” Dean husks cupping your cheek, leaning closer to kiss you but you turn your head away.

“One kiss doesn’t fix anything, Dean. You must admit you didn’t think about me a single time yesterday. You were relaxed, not that I wouldn’t want you to be relaxed around people you like but yesterday I wanted to be the one you spend your time with.” Your fingers play with the buttons on his plaid as Dean gulps hard. 

“I’m sorry. Please don’t believe you are not what I want. How about showing you the bunker?” Dean suggests and you meet his gaze. “You said it’s top secret.” You sniffle. “No one can see where it is…”

“I know, I want you to see it, maybe you can move in too? It’s huge and we have great books. You could study with Sammy…” Dean says hopefully looking down at you. “I can’t leave Arielle all alone with Stuart and Maggy.”

“You told me it’s cramped in here. They would have a spare room without you here…please. I want to spend more time with you, this way I could protect you too.” Dean whispers leaning closer once again, brushing his lips over yours.

“Dean, I can’t just give up my life for you. What if you change your mind in a month or two? I would have to sleep in the streets.” 

“No. I won’t change my mind, Y/N. I know you felt out of place, but honestly, I’m the one being out of place close to you. I don’t have anything to offer. You are smart, independent…well paid. I got a collection of Zeppelin vinyl records, my Baby, a freaking huge collection of flannels, and my brother…” Dean sighs and you look up at him.

“Freaking huge collection? How many do you have?” You ask glancing at the plaid he’s wearing.

“Got no clue…thirty…” Dean stammers as you tug at the fabric of his shirt. “Can I have one or two?”

“All you want.” Dean rasps leaning closer to brush his lips over yours. “Please come with me. At least have a look at the bunker and we can decide if you want to move in, if not I could move in here��”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Three girls and one gay guy would be after you, Dean…” You chuckle and Dean hums. “Including you or do you prefer ‘Jerry’ now?” Dean teases and you shrug.

“At least Jerry gives girls attention. I will think about your offer and have a look. Now I’m going to have a shower and eat some breakfast. I’m starving.”

“Can I join you?” Dean asks hopefully. “For the shower or breakfast?” You ask glancing at Dean. “Both?”

“Fine, but no funny business, Winchester. You will not touch me for quite a while…” Turning on your heels you walk toward the shower. “How long?” Dean whines.

“Till you learned not to ignore your girlfriend.” You retort. 

“I learned my lesson…” Your boyfriend tries but your scoff. 

“We will see that…” Arielle chuckles watching Dean following you like a puppy. “She still can borrow Jerry.”

“No need for that,” Dean mutters slamming the door shut. 

“Now Dean, tell me about these flannels once again…”

Part 2: Where you belong

#spn #spn fanfiction #angst #jo harvelle #Charlie Bradbury #Sam Winchester #dean winchester #dean winchester x you #dean winchester fanfic #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester SPN #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x y/n #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester one shot #dean x y/n

[androgynoussublimeangel]

The Price of Freedom (Chpt.1)

AO3

Summary: 

Alastor isn't sure what's gotten into their resident drug-addicted pornstar but something is different about the determined set of his shoulders and a vengeful glint in his eyes. And just where does he keep slipping off to each day returning with more money than any prostitute could make in a single day.

Alastor is beginning to realize Angel Dust might not be the demon Alastor assumed him to be. And has he always had a trio of strange imps following him around?

But Alastor isn't one to miss out on what could prove to be some very promising entertainment.

*

Angel wanted his freedom. The freedom that Valentino had stolen before Angel even knew what freedom was. He’d spent his whole lifetime being trapped under someone else's control, first his father’s, then his drug dealers, then his clients. Now that he was dead he’d only traded one pair of shackles for another.

As long as Valentino had power, Angel knew he’d never have more than a gilded cage. And Angel was fucking tired of cages. But the overlord wasn’t going to just give up his throne willingly.

But Angel wasn't going to give up without a fight.

With a final horse scream, Angel toppled to the floor, pained tremors wracking his limp body. Flinching as Vox roughly tore his cords from the base of his skull. The TV demon carelessly kicking the prostitutes' prone form as he stepped over him. Angel could only moan softly in pain, his long limbs curling inwards cradling his still trembling body. Barely aware of the sound of the door opening behind him.

“Sorry for the wait Angel Cakes,” Valentino’s smoky voice prickled unpleasantly over Angel’s still pain addled consciousness. Angel blinked blurrily up at the looming figure of his pimp. “Just took Vox a lot longer to find what we were looking for in that empty fucking brain of yours. Don’t know how you find anything in there babe.” The other demons voice dripping with cruel amusement. Digging the toe of his shoe into Angel’s sore ribs. His sharp smile twisting as the pornstar whimpered, trying to wiggle away uselessly.

“Must be all that shit you’re always snorting, might wanna lay off the angel dust, sweetheart.”

Valentino laughed sadistically, sidestepping his employee’s crumpled body, striding towards his desk with Vox following close behind. The overlord settling into his overly luxurious chair, carved from ebony wood with gold inlays and lined with crimson velvet, auspicious enough to be called a throne.

Angel had always thought it looked less like a symbol of the overlord's power and more like he was overcompensating. Not that he ever dared share that with Valentino.

The pimp steepled his fingers together, propping his feet atop his enormous desk. The TV demon standing to Valentino left, screen flickering as a cruel grin warped his face. The lights leaking through the enormous penthouse windows haloing the overlords in neon colors.

“But Vox is the best at what he does,” Valentino smirked at his fellow overlord, the smirk growing wider as the other demon cackled in response. Angel tried to lift his head, weakly glaring at his boss, eyes still unfocused and vision blurring at the edges. Still fuzzy from Vox’s invasion of his mind.

“Come on Angie, baby, don’t be that way. You forced my hand sweetheart, I couldn’t trust you to remember to tell me everything.” The pimp scolded, voice thick with false sweetness. “Just like I’m sure it slipped your mind to mention your whole little “going-clean” schtick.” His smile dropping suddenly, eyes steely. “I don’t appreciate learning about my employee's apparent plans to quit from those fucking pigs running the news.”

Angel shuddering under the force of the overlord's anger, the air practically pulsating from the power exuding from the pimp. Forcing his aching body upright, legs still too weak to hold his weight. His lower set of arms wrapped protectively around his throbbing torso. Valentino’s enraged expression becoming pleased at the sight of Angel’s pained grimace. His face twisting into a pseudo-sweet smile.

“But you’re ain’t gonna quit are you, Angel?” The pimp crooned. Legs falling from his desk as he leaned forward in his chair. Propping his elbows on the desktop and hooking his chin on his intertwined fingers. Glowing red eyes watching the prostitute expectantly, dark promises flickering behind the tinted lenses of heart-shaped glasses. Angel swallowed back the disgust curling in his throat.

“No daddy.” He replied obediently. Eyes downcast and posture demure, the perfect picture of compliance.

“Good, good, we wouldn’t want to have to punish you again now would we.” Angel shook his head vehemently, ignoring the splitting headache pounding behind his eyes. Valentino hummed in satisfaction as he leaned back into the plush velvet lining his chair.

“Now,” The overlord purred, the tapping of his nails against the armrest of his chair deafening in the quiet room. “You wanna explain to me what all this ‘redemption’ bullshit is about?”

Angel didn’t reply. Refusing to look at the overlord.

Valentino sighed, rising smoothly to his feet, sauntering over to Angel’s kneeling form. Angel gazed up at the other man, fighting to not flinch away from the hand that began petting his hair. “How ‘bout I make this easier,”

The clawed hand that had been carding through his hair suddenly gripping a fistful of white locks. Angel winced as his head was yanked back, Valentino’s sharp teeth suddenly inches from his face. “What makes you think you’re even worthy of redemption?” The pimp growled, ignoring Angel uselessly clawing at the hand tangled in his hair.

“A stupid, worthless, whore like yourself, whose only redeeming quality is your cock-hungry holes.”

Angel averted his eyes, unable to hold Valentino’s hateful gaze as verbal poison spilled from the pimps lips. A sudden sharp grip on his chin wrenched his face forward, Valentino’s claws digging harshly into the soft flesh of Angel’s cheeks. The overlord forcibly lifting Angel’s body upwards with his tight grip. The pornstar whimpering but knowing better than to retaliate.

“You look me in the fucking eye when I’m talking to you!” Valentino snarled, eyes flashing before his expression relaxed, melting back into a saccharine sweet smile.

“You just can’t do anything right can you dollface?” A drop of blood sliding down Angel's cheek where Valentino’s claw pricked his cheek. “So fucking useless huh, that dumb royal bitch didn’t know what she was doing picking your pathetic ass to be a part of her stupid pet project.”

The bitter taste of copper filling Angel’s mouth as he bit harshly into his lip to stop himself from spitting in the overlord's face. Surprised by the force of his own anger as Valentino mocked Charlie’s dream. Girl was as naive as they came but she genuinely wanted to see the best in everyone, she truly believed demons could be redeemed. She believed Angel could be redeemed.

The overlord noticed the defiant spark in the pornstar's eyes, his grin growing sharper until he was baring his teeth more than he was smiling.

“Oh this is rich,” The pimp laughed through his teeth, still gripping Angel Dust’s hair. Valentino smirked over his shoulder at Vox, shaking Angel roughly by his hair. “This little bitch actually believes in this redemption shit.” Vox’s snickering joined Valentino’s own cruel chuckling.

“Let me make one thing clear, Angel.” Valentino’s voice dropped to a hiss, his face inches from Angel’s. Close enough that Angel could taste the other man’s alcohol tainted breath. “Even if redemption wasn’t a load of horseshit, you’d never have a chance in hell. You wanna know why angel cakes?”

The overlord drew back to his full height, sneering down his nose at Angel. “Cuz your nothing. You ain’t worth nothing to nobody. Even your own family down here doesn’t want you. The only reason you’re not dead in a fucking ditch is because of me.”

Angel winced as the nails pricking his cheeks dug deeper into the soft flesh. “Who do you belong to Angel cakes?”

“You.” Angel’s voice was barely more than a whisper.

“That’s right, and I’ve got your contract to prove it.” Valentino releasing his intense grip on both Angel’s face and hair sending the pornstar toppling to the floor again.

“Now get out, I’m sick of looking at your face.” The pimp spun on his heel, returning to his seat without a backward glance at the trembling demon struggling to stand. Angel tottered dangerously but managed to get his legs underneath himself, one arm still cradling his slowly mending ribs. Angel was half-way out the door hand hovering on the door handle when the sound of Valentino’s voice caused him to pause. “Oh, and Angel?”

Angel Dust glanced warily over his shoulder. “Next time, you answer me when I call, got it, babe?”

“Yes, boss.”

The door closed with a click.

Angel kept his head held high, marching to the elevator. The moment the doors slid closed behind him, Angel all but collapsed against them. Exhaling deeply, wincing as a sharp jab of pain from his protesting ribs, Angel groaned. Valentino had really put him through the wringer this time. Angel knew he’d be sore for weeks but the pimp always made sure he’d still be able to work. Never leaving an injury that couldn’t regenerate in a few hour's time. Didn’t want to damage the merchandise after all.

Mutilation wasn’t Val’s style anyway, the sadistic roach preferred to aim for where the skin was thinnest. He always knew which bruises to dig his fingers into. Valentino was equally as fond of emotional abuse as he was of inflicting physical pain. The pimp overlord was able to ascertain someone's most emotionally vulnerable cracks and once he did, he’d ruthlessly pry those cracks open until whatever was left was practically unrecognizable.

Angel moaned softly as the elevator jolted, his sore body complaining at the rough treatment. He silently willed it to descend faster, he was itching to get the hell out of there before he suffocated under the weight of Val's overwhelming presence.

This wasn’t his first time getting on his boss’s bad side. He’d seen the back of Valentino's hand more than once. It was rare if he was without a bruise or two, either from his clients or his pimp. It was one of the unfortunate side effects of being covered entirely in velvety fur. A lot easier to hide bruises, which Val seemed to take as a challenge.

Angel could handle pain, he even enjoyed it in the right scenarios. Even as Valentino’s punishments grew more and more brutal. Angel could handle him.

Vox was a different story.

Vox was the kind of demon Angel hated the most, though Valentino was a close second. He even preferred Alastor and his creepy smile over the TV demon. Despite Angel’s previous unawareness about the radio demon, Vaggie’s very vivid and detailed story of other demons ventures painted a clear picture.

Alastor was direct, merciless and efficient. Alastor slaughtered demons but his bloodlust was simple and honest. The radio demon even seemed to have some weird moral code about who he killed. Despite his terrifying abilities and rumored cannibalism, he wasn’t a mindless killer.

Unlike Vox and Valentino who enjoyed causing pain just for the sake of pain. Heedless of who they hurt as they made an overblown show of power through senseless and gratuitous killing.

Angel had always found Vox’s unique brand of torture was invasive, cowardly, and unrefined. The TV demon wielded the numerous cords connected to his body and at the slightest inclination could bury them deep in his victims' flesh. Vox’s powers granted him the ability to forcibly search someone's mind, which was painful in it itself. But he could also forcibly create a recurring nightmare of traumatic memories that played on a loop.

Angel had one of Vox’ victims who’d been plugged in for over a week, reliving their darkest moments again and again. They’d been barely more than an empty husk of a demon, eyes empty and blank, completely unresponsive. It had scared Angel badly enough at the time he’d behaved for an entire year.

This wasn’t even the first time Valentino had felt Angel’s disobedience merited Vox’s intervention, but it wasn’t usually as unbearable. Normally Angel was so strung out on whatever cocktail of drugs he was offered it was barely more than a, particularly bad nightmare. A bad dream that would be forgotten easily enough as soon as Angel Dust got his hands on more of his namesake.

But this time Angel had been completely stone-cold sober.

Each excruciating second had been in agonizing clarity. The feeling of Vox forcibly entering his mind had felt like his head was being split open from the inside and left his brain feeling like it’d been scraped raw with sandpaper. Painful memories lingering too close to the surface after being buried underneath the haze of drugs and sex for so long.

Angel shuddered, moments of his past life that he’d tried his best to forget flashing behind his eyelids. Shaking his head, trying to rid himself from the lingering horrors Vox dredged up from his own mind. He only succeeds in further agitating his throbbing headache.

The elevator dinged and Angel stumbled backward as the doors slid open. Catching himself on the wall with a groan, Angel whined unhappily as he clambered back to his feet. Brushing off imaginary dust from his jacket and smoothing back his hair, only for it to bounce forward again.

Beginning his trek down the hall, eyes brushing over familiar faces of other demons trapped underneath Valentino’s thumb. Some offered him sympathetic looks but otherwise didn’t approach. Angel couldn’t bring himself to be offended. After all, they all knew Valentino would only use it as an excuse to punish him again.

Angel took in the tired faces of all the demons that passed him, everyone looking a little worse for wear since he’d been here last. It had been a few days since he was released from house arrest, or would it be hotel arrest Angel wonders, after his little territorial genocide stint with Cherri. Charlie (only after Vaggie’s very loud protest) had insisted there be some kind of punishment for his actions. If it could be called that, Angel would take a few days of lazing around with his pig over Valentino’s punishment anytime.

Angel sure as hell didn’t believe in redemption or any of that “being a good person” bullshit Charlie was always trying to sell him. But looking at the haggard faces of the demons around him he felt a twinge of concern for them. They weren’t good people that was for damn sure but a lot of them weren’t exactly bad people either.

Angel huffed, cursing Charlie for infecting him with her mushy feelings and empathy. He shuddered just thinking the word. This would be so much easier drugged out of his mind and completely unaware of anything besides his own high.

Drawing closer to the rear exit of the studio Angel straightened his hunched posture, the ache in his ribs finally having subsided somewhat as the bones mended. It would ache like a bitch for a few days at least but nothing Angel wasn’t used too. He’d just have to avoid his left side when he was on the pole.

He exited the studio quickly, striding down the alleyway, eager to get as far away from the building as possible. He wanted to get back to the hotel, where he at least had a room that wasn’t monitored 24/7 and he didn’t have to worry about anyone trying to sell Fat Nuggets for drug money while he was gone.

He paused mid-step, eyes catching on a garishly colored image splashed across the alleyway wall. Angel glared up at, what was no doubt the work of one of Valentino’s, admittedly talented, goons. An enormous portrait of Valentino’s sleazy face splashed across the alley wall. It practically dwarfed him, nearly twice Angel’s height and wider than his arm span.

Standing there, glaring up at the pimps painted likeness. Skin tacky from the cold sweat drying on his skin, breathing slowly growing more ragged with each breath. Angel felt a powerful tidal wave of emotion well up inside him. All four of his hands curling tightly into fists, his claws digging painfully into his palms.

A sudden familiar, grating voice boomed over the loudspeaker causing Angel to jump in surprise. Grimacing in disgust as one of Valentino’s many degrading “reminders” that played on an hourly loop echoed through the studio, leaking into the alleyway.

“Remember to serve your customers with a smile, a happy customer is a paying customer. Now go out and make daddy his money you worthless whores.”

Valentino’s voice wrapping tightly around Angel, slowly constricting around him, squeezing the air from his lungs. Just another reminder of who he belonged to.

The thin thread of Angel’s temper finally snapped.

A loud crack reverberated through the alley. Angel’s fist burying itself in the brick wall, directly in the center of Valentino’s smarmy painted smile. Long, jagged cracks spidering across the surface obscuring the image of Valentino’s grinning face entirely.

Angel’s entire form trembled with rage, the fury burning inside him climbing higher and higher. A small flame of indignity that had spent centuries growing into a blazing inferno of hatred and savage determination.

Angel wanted his freedom. The freedom that Valentino had stolen before Angel even knew what freedom was. He’d spent his whole lifetime being trapped under someone else's control, first his father’s, then his drug dealers, then his clients. Now that he was dead he’d only traded one pair of shackles for another.

As long as Valentino had power, Angel knew he’d never have more than a gilded cage. And Angel was fucking tired of cages. But the overlord wasn’t going to just give up his throne willingly.

Angel tugged his fist free from the brick and mortar wall, unflinching despite his now bloodied and broken knuckles. They would heal quickly enough anyway. Angel wanted his freedom, but there was only one way to get it. It wasn’t going to be easy, and Angel knew he might die trying, but he’d already made up his mind. A sharp, determined grin spread across Angel Dust’s lips.

He was going to kill Valentino.

#radiodust #radio dust #hazbin angel dust #angel dust #angeldust #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor x angel dust #hazbin hotel #hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel angel dust #hazbin #hazbin radio demon #hazbin fanfic

[iicewitch]

☀️ cult of dionysus

a playlist for my friend caz link to playlist: here tracklist and favorite lyrics below

1. only as good as my god - everything everything And on the steps of my church There, I'm chasing down a red girl with my hooves upon a- Ooh - Wild Ooh - Child If they crawl out of the mud Wash them away in a flood I'm only as good as my god Burnt hair and more money 2. disciples - captain murphy Don't you want devoted followers? Who leave their families for you Give their money to you Give their bodies to you Give up their lives for you Consider you God, and will kill for you Don't you want to become a cult leader? Since the death of God there has been a vacancy open You can fill that void, here is how 3. dionysus - bts Just get drunk like Dionysus Drink in one hand, Thyrsus on the other Art splashing inside this clear crystal cup Art is alcohol too, if you can drink it, you'll get drunk fool I'm now in front of the door to the world The cheers I hear when I get up on stage Can’t you see my stacked broken thyrsus At last I’m reborn 4. good hand - turbowolf And I say No pain, no gain That's the mantra I'm repeating No sun, no rain That's the mantra I'm repeating No pain, no gain, no sun, no No pain, no gain, no sun, no rain 5. addicted to love - robert palmer Your lights are on, but you're not home Your will is not your own You're heart sweats and teeth grind Another kiss and you'll be mine 6. cult of dionysus - the orion experience Or start a secret society for the wild and free Our ideology is "You can do what you want Too much is never enough" We are the Life, we are the light We are the envy of the Gods above 7. hitting on all sevens - lyndon smith Make of me a subject caste Pressed and kept beneath thy glass Every heart thy sent in heaven Always hitting on all sevens One by one as ordered Flank to flank and facing forward Hanging by the word In chapter, verse and sentence heard 8. touch tone telephone - lemon demon Don't hang up yet, I'm not done I'm an expert, I'm the one The one who was right all along Better to be laughed at than wrong I'm an expert in my field UFOlogy, yes, it's all real Ancient aliens, it's all true I'm an expert just like you 9. sundial - lemon demon Don't mind me, I've just got some problems to work out I'm only passing through or maybe just right out Somehow something set my sundial backwards tilted and upside-down Now the shadow hand is pointing time right out of town I don't remember what it is that I just said to you I've got Anubis on my back and something in my shoe 10. mother’s talk - tears for fears It's not that you're not good enough It's just that we can make you better Given that you pay the price We can keep you young and tender Following in the footsteps of a funeral pyre You were paid not to listen now your house is on fire 11. light up the night - the protomen There is a city that this darkness can't hide. There are the embers of a fire that's gone out, But I can still feel the heat on my skin. This mess we're in, well you and I, Maybe you and I, We can light up the night. 12. pure morning - placebo A friend in need's a friend indeed, A friend who'll tease is better, Our thoughts compressed, Which makes us blessed, And makes for stormy weather, 13. aspiring fires - mother mother Baby, so you think you know crazy I think you know what you know, But what you know you don't know for sure A little advice for aspiring fires You'll get put out if you don't get a little wild Try again, try again, it ain't right You don't got the due diligence to lose your mind You're not getting it right 14. oh ana - mother mother I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god I'll play god today Ante up and play that god a poker game Walk away with all our little God's spare change Playing this god it can't be good for— Ana's safety, Ana hear me ! 15. this devil’s workday - modest mouse So I ate the wedding cake 'til the whole damn thing was gone. And I'm gonna drown the ocean. Now ain't none o' that so wrong? I could buy myself a reason. I could sell myself a job. I could hang myself on treason. Oh I am my own damn god. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha 16. kiss me son of god - they might be giants I look like Jesus, so they say But Mr. Jesus is very far away Now you're the only one here who can tell me if it's true That you love me and I love me And a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" Yes a world screams, "Kiss me, Son of God" 17. personal jesus - depeche mode Take second best Put me to the test Things on your chest You need to confess I will deliver You know I'm a forgiver 18. charlie’s inferno - that handsome devil Catch you later, I'm off to see the man upstairs They all look like ants from here Stars and crystal chandeliers Excuse me, sir! There must be someone you've confused me for If I could see someone who knew me or someone in uniform I go to church on sunday, truly, usually more! Screaming at the angels while they pushed him through the door! 19. old 45s - chromeo Don't wanna settle Or didn't you get the memo You only get a date if you're walking in stilettos This is enough to drive you mad If you think romance is dead and gone Find an old jukebox full of 45's Pop a nickel in it and it all comes back 20. down at the midnight rectory - ted neeley Down, down, down at the midnight rectory! With jiggle juice frisking under the marquee! The peacocks are strutting behind velvet ropes, Sipping away on their heavenly dope. Gimme two alleluia's and an amen! 21. elevate - dj khalil Can't stop me, can't break me (can't break) What don't kill me, gon' make me (gon' make) Shoot for the stars, no safety (no safety) And now I see clear in HD 'Cause I win, over and over again Battlin' evil, I'm hopin' to win Fightin' my demons, I'm nice for a reason Enticed with the bleedin', I'm showin' my sins 22. come along - cosmo sheldrake We'll dance and sing 'til sundown And feast with abandon We'll sleep when the morning comes And we'll rise by the sound of the birdsongs We'll be here when the world slows down And the sunbeams fade away Keeping time by a pendulum As the fabric starts to fray 23. just one yesterday - fall out boy I thought of angels Choking on their halos Get them drunk on rose water See how dirty I can get them Pulling out their fragile teeth And clip their tiny wings If heaven's grief brings hell's rain Then I'd trade all my tomorrows for just one yesterday 24. church - fall out boy And if death is the last appointment Then we're all just sitting in the waiting room I am just a human trying to avoid my certain doom If you were church, yeah I'd get on my knees Confess my love, I'd know where to be My sanctuary, you're holy to me 25. beast dance - kurage p Cast aside your humanity, before you have to grovel on the ground, being at the bottom of society. You want to be loved? In that case, come on. ”Roar roar roar roar roar roar” Inside the cage, ‘kay? 26. black and white - MASA Pour the gospel echoing through the world into your glass. Black&White! Practice your faith through shots and prayers. Open the bottle. Black&White! 27. sister’s mercy - hitoshizuku-p Jesus!! Pray and pray Believer, if you demand for salvation Oh Yeah!! Then pay up more and more for this Bright Red, now! Cheers!! Pour and pour When you’ve filled your stomach with this bright Red, Aa! All your wishes will come true 28. inferno pt. 2 - the buttress The depth of my breadth is unmet I'm becoming unraveled on the road less traveled I know Jesus wept But I abhor the Lord Fell on my sword Forever slept 29. let’s just live - casey lee williams Let's just live Just one day Let's forget about our problems Let's fall in love with life And just be free The sun will never fade The night won't steal our day Let's dance and laugh and love And let's just live 30. ignite - casey lee williams Fool, you shouldn't stare into these eyes of fire You're goin' to regret this little fight You don't wanna mess with me, I'm something higher You'll watch yourself suffer You'll watch me ignite 31. god’s gonna cut you down - johnny cash Well you may throw your rock and hide your hand Workin' in the dark against your fellow man But as sure as God made black and white What's down in the dark will be brought to the light 32. royals - lorde Let me be your ruler (Ruler) You can call me queen bee And baby, I'll rule (I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule) Let me live that fantasy 33. you should see me in a crown - billie eilish Count my cards, watch them fall Blood on a marble wall I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by, one One by one by You should see me in a crown 34. rev 22:20 - puscifer Pray til I go blind (Pray) Pray cause no one ever survives Prayin' to stay in her arms just to die longer Satyrs and saints, devils and heathens and lies 35. this must be the place - talking heads Home, is where I want to be But I guess I'm already there I come home, she lifted up her wings I guess that this must be the place I'm just an animal looking for a home and Share the same space for a minute or two And you love me till my heart stops Love me till I'm dead 36. razzle dazzle -  richard gere Give 'em the old razzle dazzle Razzle Dazzle 'em Give 'em an act with lots of flash in it And the reaction will be passionate Give 'em the old hocus pocus Bead and feather 'em How can they see with sequins in their eyes? 37. you’ll be back - jonathan groff You say our love is draining and you can't go on You'll be the one complaining when I am gone And no, don't change the subject 'Cause you're my favorite subject My sweet, submissive subject My loyal, royal subject Forever and ever and ever and ever and ever 38. no light, no light - florence and the machine No light, no light in your bright blue eyes I never knew daylight could be so violent A revelation in the light of day You can't choose what stays and what fades away 'Cause it's so easy, To say it to a crowd But it's so hard, my love, To say it to you out loud 39. shiny happy people - r.e.m Meet me in the crowd, people, people Throw your love around, love me, love me Take it into town, happy, happy Put it in the ground where the flowers grow Gold and silver shine Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people holding hands Shiny happy people laughing 40. a good song never dies - saint motel There was a moment, a hole opened in the sky A chance to join that pantheon For all the times they never heard your battle cry Now be an angel, sing along 'Cause a good song never dies It just reminds you of where you were The first time it made you cry The first time you felt alive 41. king of the clouds - panic at the disco Some only live to die, I'm alive to fly higher Than angels in outfields inside of my mind I'm ascendin' these ladders, I'm climbin', say goodbye This old world, this old world I don't trust anything Or anyone, below the sun I don't feel anything At all 42. battle for the sun - placebo I, I, I will battle for the sun, sun, sun, sun And I, I, I, I am the bones you couldn't break Break, break, break, break, break, break, break 43. walk like an egyptian - the bangles All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian All the school kids so sick of books They like the punk and the metal band When the buzzer rings (oh whey oh) They're walking like an Egyptian 44. credens justitiam - yuriko kaida and eri itoh Free, they are With no malice they sing quietly And they told me that my song was louder/lighter Their song Releases the day of all malice I want to be like them And my mind (their minds are) Free 45. 99.9 - mob choir The protagonist of this stage is me Cryin' my life, cryin' my psyche Cryin' my heart in such commonplaces Is this my ideal? Is this my mind? Ahh, I’m looking for the answer ! 46. cruel angels thesis - yoko takahasi But someday you will notice On those shoulders of yours There are strong wings To guide you to the far future. If there is any meaning In the fate that pulled us together, Then I am, yes, the Bible That teaches you of freedom. A cruel angel's thesis And then sorrow comes forth 47. peace and love on the planet earth - zach callison I guess we're already here I guess we already know We've all got something to fear We've all got nowhere to go I think you're all insane! But I guess I am too Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more? Is there anything that's worth more Than peace and love on the planet Earth? 48. now we can see - the thermals We were born in the desert We were reared in a cave We conquered in the sun but we lived in the shade We were born on an island we grew out of the sand Never saw another creature never knew another man 49. love today - mika I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today, gonna love today I said Everybody's gonna love today Gonna love today Anyway you want to, anyway you've got to Love, love me, love, love me, love, love 50. where is my mind? - the pixies With your feet on the air and your head on the ground Try this trick and spin it, yeah Your head will collapse If there's nothing in it And you'll ask yourself .. Where is my mind? Where is my mind?

#gene's playlists

[inkjam-moon]

Sweet & Spicy - Part Two(M)

Summary: Your first visit to Jeongguk’s house goes horribly wrong

Pairing: Jeongguk x Reader

Genre: Fluff, smut, a little angst

Word Count: 8.1k

TW: jin being rude af, almost sex, oral, bj

It’s been seven months since Jeongguk asked you to be his, and you can’t remember ever making a better decision in your life. Jeongguk is already the sweetest, funniest, and most amazing person you’ve ever known, but add ‘boyfriend’ to all that and somehow he becomes even more so. The two of you spend even more time together now, if that’s even possible. If he isn’t working, Jeongguk is at your apartment; sometimes even when you’re not there, he’ll just wait for you.

The two of you continue your movie night tradition, although now you always stop at the swings to eat, the spot having become sort of a special place for the both of you, and then you hold hands as you walk back to your place. The two of you are constantly curled up on the couch together, snuggled up under some blankets, content with just being together.  

You know that you’re going to be Jeongguk’s first everything, and therefore, you don’t push him. You let him take his time, you let him go slow, now matter how impatient you get because you care about him so much. The only thing that you don’t understand is why you can never hang out at his place.

For as long as you’ve known Jeongguk, you’ve know about who he is; Jeon Jeongguk of BTS, a famous idol that travels the world to perform, and you know he lives at a dorm with six other guys, but the fact that seven months into your relationship, and two years into your friendship he still hasn’t introduced you to them, bothers you. You don’t really understand why he won’t; Jeongguk has met almost all of your friends, but he won’t let you meet the most important people in his life, the people that he spends all of his time with when he’s not with you.

You’ve seen them. You know who they are, who in Korea doesn’t at this point? Yet every time you even bring them up in conversation, Jeongguk shuts the topic down. You don’t know what’s got him so scared to introduce you. You know he will eventually, and you’re letting him take his time, but you can’t deny that a small part of you, deep down inside is really put off by it.

Speaking of letting Jeongguk take his time, the two of you have never done anything other than kiss and cuddle. You absolutely adore the sweet, gentle make out sessions on your couch, his lips are so soft every time they caress yours, and you quickly became addicted to the feeling, but sometimes after he goes home, you slip into your bed and pleasure yourself, letting your imagination run wild with the thought of what he’s going to do to you when you finally get to that point.

Jeongguk is a bit nervous and clumsy when it comes to your intimate moments. The first time you made out, he didn’t really know what he was doing and there was a bit too much tongue, but he learns quickly, and once you showed him what to do, he became so good that every time he kisses you, it makes your knees weak.

Today, you’re sitting on your couch alone, waiting for Jeongguk to text you that he’s done with rehearsal and is on his way over. You ended up watching some sort of cooking competition and you’re starting to get hungry. You pick up your phone to ask Jeongguk to bring some food when your phone buzzes in your hand from none other than the one you were about to text.

Kookie (6:37pm): Hey, do you want to come over to the dorm?

You (6:37pm): Wait, seriously?

Kookie (6:39pm): Yeah

You (6:40pm): Does this mean I get to meet everyone?

You watch Jeongguk’s typing bubble appear and disappear several times before he finally replies.

Kookie (6:43pm): They won’t be there…

Well, you’ll take what you can get.

You (6:43pm): Yeah, I’ll be right there!

Kookie (6:44pm): Okay! I’ll meet you at the swings!

You close your phone and hop up off the couch, grabbing your bag before heading out the door and down the street to the park. It’s a short walk, and when you round the corner, Jeongguk’s silhouette comes into view, sporting a light jacket and sweatpants, both black of course, along with a facemask. He smiles wide when he sees you, you can tell from the crinkling of his eyes as he rushes to meet you, pulling down his mask briefly enough to place a sweet kiss on your lips. The two of you haven’t seen each other in about a week and a half, so you understand when his lips linger on yours a bit longer than his usual public displays.

“Hi baby.” You smile back at him as he grabs your hand and pulls his mask back into place.

“I’ve missed you. Are you ready?” He asks.

“Of course!” You nod excitedly.

“Okay, let’s go!” He takes his hold on your hand and uses it to tug you down the street, leading you down the familiar path to his dorm. You’ve stood outside the building to wait for him before, so you know where it is, but you’ve never been allowed in, always having to patter out on the sidewalk as you wait.

It’s not a far walk from your apartment; you use the dance studio as a halfway point, but in reality his place is a bit farther away from the studio than yours is; and when you get there you take in the sheer grandeur of the building, always amazed at the fact that he can actually afford to live here.

Jeongguk leads you into the building and you’re equally amazed at the sight of the lavish lobby. You can’t help but feel unbelievably out of place. You’re tugged over to the elevator and you both step inside when the doors open. Jeongguk presses the button for his floor as the doors close and then the elevator takes off, the doors opening again on Jeongguk’s floor. You both step out into a small room with a door and Jeongguk punches the code into the keypad to unlock the door.

You walk into the entry room as Jeongguk shuts the door behind you to see what seems like hundreds of pairs of shoes stacked on the shelves lining the walls. You slip your shoes off and place them in front of the shelf as Jeongguk takes his sneakers off and places them in one of the empty spots. He pulls you into the next room and flicks on the light and your eyes take in the sight before you.

To be quite honest, it just looks like a normal living room; possessions strewn about, a large tv with several gaming consoles attached, three large couches, a couple laptops laying around; if you didn’t see all the clothes lying about with designer names emblazoned on them, you’d think it was just the apartment of a few average college roommates.

“So, this is the living room.” Jeongguk mumbles. “It’s where we spend most of our time.”

“It’s impressive.” You nod in approval, making Jeongguk smile.

“Over here,” He starts, tugging you along through a door to the right. “Is the kitchen.” He flicks on another light and you see a rather large kitchen with marble countertops, two large refrigerators, an island with a sink on it; all of which are plated with stainless steel. God what you wouldn’t give to cook in this kitchen. “Are you thirsty?”

“A little bit yeah.”

“Water?” He asks, dropping your hand for the first time since you met up as he walks over to one of the fridges.

“Please?”

He nods and reaches in, grabbing a bottle of water for you and walking back over to place it in your hand, but he doesn’t give you time to drink before he’s dragging you out a doorway at the side of the kitchen and into a hallway. He points to the door down at the far left end.

“That’s Hobi hyung, Jimin, and Taehyung’s room The one across from it is their bathroom. The next one is Jin hyung and Yoongi hyung’s room.” Then he skips a door and points to the door at the far right end. “That’s the study slash inhouse studio.” He tugs you into the hallway and points to the only door left on the wall to your right. “That’s our bathroom, and this,” he grabs the doorknob on the door he skipped earlier. “Is my and Namjoon hyung’s room.” He twists the doorknob and pushes the door open, leading you into his bedroom.

The sight is overwhelming at first; there’s music equipment everywhere and several computer monitors on each of the two desks in the room, but as Jeongguk tugs you further in, leading you past the first desk and bed, you recognize the teddy bear you got him for his birthday last month where it sits perched atop what must be his bed.

“This is my bed.” He states, plopping himself down on the mattress and tossing his face mask across the room onto his desk.

“I could tell when I saw Little Kookie.” You state, sitting down next to him and grabbing the teddy bear.

“I told you, his name is Charlie.” Jeongguk pouts, taking the bear from your hands and hugging it.

“Whatever his name, he’s still not as cute as you.” You state, booping Jeongguk’s nose, making his face scrunch in faux annoyance.

“You’re the cute one.” He mumbles, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on your lips. He pulls back for a split second before going back in for a second kiss, and before you know it, his lips seems to be stuck to yours. Charlie is tossed to the side as Jeongguk’s hands reach up to cup your face, pulling you closer as he tilts his head, deepening the kiss.

You scoot closer, swiping your tongue along his bottom lip as a suggestion, asking him to part his lips, which he quickly does, allowing you to slip your tongue into his mouth to taste how sweet he always seems to be.

With no effort at all, Jeongguk sweeps you up and pushes you down onto your back, crawling between your legs without separating your mouths. This time it’s his tongue that slides between your lips, making you gasp lightly as his hips grind up against yours for the first time. The contact surprises you, and you break the kiss, pulling back to stare up at him in question. You’ve never seen him like this before; his breathing has picked up significantly, his pupils are blown wide, and his bottom lip is red from all the kissing; he looks so delectably sexy.

“Kookie, what-”

“Noona I want to… I want you.” He whispers. “I want you to take it…”

Your eyes go wide when you realize exactly what it is he wants. “Kook, are you sure? I mean-”

“I’m sure. I-I’ve been thinking about it a lot actually. I want to have sex. And I want my first time to be with you. And every time after that…” He whispers the last part, a light blush filling his cheeks.

“Jeongguk-ah…” You can’t help the smile that spreads across your face at his confession, reaching up to cup his flushed cheeks to pull him down for a chaste kiss. “Okay.”

“Okay? Really?” His eyes light up with excitement.

“Really.” You giggle.

Instead of more words, Jeongguk seals your agreement by leaning down to kiss you again, tugging on your bottom lip before slipping his tongue back into your mouth. You slide your hands down his chest, tugging his jacket off and tossing it to the side before slipping your hands under his shirt like you’ve done so many times before, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your palms as his lips slip away to find your neck, immediately biting down on your collarbone, making you moan lightly.

Jeongguk’s head shoots up at the noise. “Are you okay?” He asks, wondering if he did something wrong.

“Yes.” You chuckle. “Kook, that felt good.”

“O-oh, okay.” Jeongguk smiles innocently before returning to your neck, leaving hot kisses all along the expanse of skin, from your jaw to your shoulder, as his trembling hands pop open the buttons of your jeans and very carefully begin to tug them down. You lift your hips to help him and as soon as the denim is deposited on his floor, you grab the waistband of his sweatpants and wiggle them down over his hips.

He kicks the fabric off his legs onto the floor and then pulls the covers down, allowing you both to slip under them as Jeongguk settles himself between your legs, his now very obvious erection pressing against your center and you relish in the friction as you drag him back to meet your lips.

“Y-Y/N, wait,” Jeongguk breaks from you, breathless. “I-I probably should’ve thought of this before, but…” He sighs. “I don’t have a condom.”

“You got tested like I asked you to, right?” You ask.

Jeongguk nods. “I’m clean.”

“Then it’s okay baby. I have an IUD, remember?”

“Oh right… What is that again?”

You giggle at his innocence. “It’s birth control Kookie.”

“Ohhhh right, okay.”

“Can we get back to what we were doing then?” You ask, sliding a hand down his body to cup his hardness over his boxers. Jeongguk gasps at your touch, his body shivering with pleasure. He grabs your hips and pulls you down against him as he leans over and kisses you again.

Jeongguk pulls his boxers down to mid thigh, in too much of a hurry to take them off all the way. One of Jeongguk’s hands finds its way in between your legs and pulls your panties to the side. “Fuck,” His hips buck into your hand as he swears under his breath. “Oh god, oh god, oh god this is happening.”

“Jeongguk look at me baby.” You request softly. His wide brown eyes find yours and you cup his face gently. “Take a deep breath for me.” He nods, closing his eyes and following your instructions, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly to help calm himself. When he opens his eyes again, there isn’t as much panic in them.

“Noona, I love you.” He whispers.

You heart flutters in your chest as you caress his cheek, smiling softly. “Kookie, I-”

“Hey Kook are you- What the fuck?!”

Jeongguk’s body goes rigid on top of you as you both look in the direction of the new voice. It’s one of Jeongguk’s roommates. Oh shit.

“Jeon Jeongguk, what the hell are you doing?”

“J-Jin hyung? What are you doing home?”

“Saving your ass apparently!” Jin exclaims, walking over to the bed and yanking Jeongguk off of it by the collar of his shirt. “Are you crazy?”

“It’s not what it looks like!” Jeongguk protests, shoving his suddenly flaccid self back in his boxers as you sit up.

“So you didn’t pretend to be sick so you could stay home and get laid?”

“Hyung I-”

“Couch. Now.” Jin orders, looking back and forth between you and Jeongguk before adding, “Her too.”

Jeongguk nods as he stands, grabbing your hand a pulling you out of his bed and out into the hallway where some of the other boys are standing; they must’ve heard the commotion and come to investigate. Jin storms past the two of you and heads into the kitchen while Jeongguk drags you into the living room to the big couch, offering you a seat first before he takes on next to you, but far enough away that you’re not touching.

You’ve never seen Jeongguk look so… ashamed. His head hangs low as he stares at his lap, both of you awkwardly sitting on the couch in nothing but your underwear and a t shirt. You’re about to ask Jeongguk what’s happening when Jin stomps back into the room, mid conversation with another roommate, followed by five more curious bodies.

“Jin calm down. I’m sure there’s an explanation.” The roommate says, the tallest of the group of them.

“There better be.” Jin growls, coming to stand in front of the couch to glare at Jeongguk. “Jeon Jeongguk I want you to tell me what the hell you think you’re doing!”

“Hyung, I swear, it’s not what it looks like.” Jeongguk whimpers.

“Really? Because it looks like you were about to lose your virginity to a prostitute!” Jin explodes, his eyes ablaze with fury.

“Jin that’s a bit far.” Another boy, shorter with dark hair and cat-like eyes, interrupts.

“Who the hell are you calling a prostitute?” You spit.

“She can understand us?” Jin asks Jeongguk.

You roll your eyes. “Yes. She can.”

“Jin why would you assume that?” The cat-eyed boy speaks again.

Jin’s eyes go wide when you speak and suddenly he’s fumbling for words. “Well I- You- I just-”

“You think just because I’m a foreigner I’m a prostitute?”

“You were in bed! Naked!” Jin exclaims. “Am I supposed to believe you weren’t going to fuck him?”

“That doesn’t make her a prostitute Jin.” The tall one argues.

“But she’s a foreigner!” Jin protests. “You’re a foreigner! I bet you just met him today!”

“For your information, I’ve lived here for almost three years and have known Jeongguk for two of them.” You state as you stand up, coming face to face with Jin.

“Oh great. What are you, his stalker?”

You can feel your ears turning red from the anger coursing through your veins. “I’m his girlfriend!” The other boys around the room gasp at this. “Have been for seven months.”

“Bullshit. If he had a girlfriend he would have told us.”

“You think so? When he knows you’d blow up like this? No wonder he didn’t want me to meet you.”

“You’re lying!” Jin accuses.

“Jeongguk, tell him.” You turn to face the shell of a man sitting on the couch who looks up at you with wide, terrified eyes. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes up as he looks back and forth between you and Jin, panicked. “Kook…” Your voice softens at the sight of him like this and you immediately move to comfort him, but Jin grabs your wrist and pulls you away.

“Don’t touch him.”

You wrench yourself free. “Don’t touch me. I just want to make sure he’s okay.”

“Get out.” Jin growls when you move toward Jeongguk again.

“Just let me check on him.”

“You didn’t have sex, so he’s not going to pay you. I said get out.”

“Hyung-” The tall one chides.

“I’m not a fucking prostitute! Kook…” You sit down next to Jeongguk, hoping he’ll defend you, but he refuses to even look at you.

“You should go…” He whispers. “This was a mistake.”

“Are you serious?” You ask, a bit hurt by his words. He just nods. “Fine.” You state. You stand again and start walking in the direction of Jeongguk’s room, but you’re stopped once more.

“Where are you going?” Jin hisses, his hand wrapped around your wrist again. “The door is the other way.”

“I’m getting my fucking pants.” You spit, nearly pulling him to the floor with the force you use to yank your wrist free. You disappear into Jeongguk’s room and pull on your jeans, grabbing your phone that fell out of your pocket and then heading back out into the living room to the front door. As you slip your shoes on, you look up to see six pairs of eyes on you, not seven. You stomp your foot to make sure your shoe is on and then open the door, looking back over your shoulder one last time. “Jeongguk…Don’t call me again.”

“What? Y/N-” But before you hear what he has to say, you slam the door and head to the stairs, going down them as fast as you can and out onto the street where you feel like you can breathe again. You hail a cab and head home, not wanting to walk through the park.

When you step into your apartment, you fall apart. You can’t believe he didn’t defend you. He didn’t say anything. And it fucking hurt. To have his closest friends think you’re nothing more than some common foreign prostitute… You immediately head to the shower to rinse away the bad feelings. You check your phone one last time before you head to sleep, and when you see no notifications, the cracks forming in your heart deepen.

It’s been a week. A whole week without Jeongguk and it feels like a lifetime. Not a single call or text, nothing. It wasn’t until the next morning that you started to regret what you said to Jeongguk, but the more you thought about it, the angrier you got. He should’ve defended you. He should’ve said something. Anything. But here you are, a week later, and still not a word from him.

It’s movie night and you’ve never felt so empty. You’re sitting on the couch in your comfy clothes, getting ready to crack open a bottle of wine and watch a depressing movie to sadden yourself further in an attempt to start moving on.

Just as you curl up under your favorite blanket your phone starts to vibrate next to you. You pick it up to see the only name you want to see, and yet at the same time, you don’t want to see it. Jeongguk. You stare at your phone, deciding whether or not you should answer it, but by the time you decide, it stops ringing. Shit. You go to put your phone down, but it immediately starts vibrating again. This time you only wait two rings before answering it.

“Hello?”

“Noona…”

“Jeongguk.” You whisper to keep your voice from cracking.

“Are… Are you home?”

“Of course I am. It’s Friday.” You’re always off on Fridays because it’s movie night.

“I know, I just didn’t know if you had plans.”

“I’m home Jeongguk. What do you want?”

“For you to answer the door.”

“What?” Just then you hear a faint knock on your front door. You stand and walk over, unlocking and opening it to see Jeongguk standing there in the hallway as he hangs up his phone. You do the same as you shoot him a glare.

“Can I come in?” He asks quietly.

You roll your eyes, but step to the side, allowing him to enter before shutting the door behind him. He walks over to the couch and picks up your bottle of wine, raising his eyebrows at you, but when he sees the look in your eyes he sets it back down and sticks his hands in his pockets.

You sigh and plop yourself down on the couch. “What do you want Jeongguk?”

“I want to apologize. That… That really wasn’t how I wanted things to go.”

“No kidding.” You scoff.

“I should’ve stood up for you. I should’ve said something. I was just so shocked that Jin hyung would jump to conclusions like that. I can’t believe he thought you were… But after you left, I explained everything to Namjoon hyung and he told the others so I wouldn’t get yelled at again. I was just afraid of what they’d say. They’re protective of me so they can be really judgemental of my friends. I wanted to call you so many times, but I was afraid you were still mad at me.”

“You’re a little too late.”

“Please don’t say that. Noona, I meant what I said. I love you so much, I really do, and  after you left I realized I didn’t want to lose you. I just wanted to give you some time to not hate me so much…”

“Jeongguk… I could never hate you.” You admit. He perks up at this. “I love you too much.” You state, a small smile creeping onto your lips.

“I’m so sorry noona, please forgive me.” He pleads, taking a seat on the couch next to you and grabbing your hands.

You reach up and cup his cheek. “I forgive you baby.” He breaks into a wide smile until you abruptly pull your hands away. “But I’m still mad at you.”

“That’s okay, you can be mad at me all you want, as long as you’re mine.” He prompts.

“Of course I’m yours Kookie.” In lieu of a response, Jeongguk tackles you to the couch and plants kisses all over your face, making you burst out into giggles. “Okay, okay!” You squeak. “Let me go you dork!” Jeongguk sits up, a wide smile plastered on his face as you roll your eyes at him. “What movie tonight?”

“You pick. Anything you want.”

“You’re going to regret saying that.” You state, turning on the movie you had already planned on watching. It’s quiet for a few minutes, Jeongguk snuggled up next to you as the opening credits play.

“Oh um, noona?” Jeongguk whispers, looking over at you.

“Mm?”

“They want to meet you.”

“Who?”

“My hyungs…”

“Right. Because that went so well the first time.” You shake your head, turning your attention back to the screen.

“They mean well, I promise! Please give them another chance?” He begs, jutting his bottom lip out in a pout; he knows you can’t resist that face.

“Fiiine.” You relent.

“Thank you.” He leans down a places a soft kiss on your lips, lingering for a few extra seconds. “I missed you.”

“Can we watch the movie please?” You giggle, pushing his face away playfully, but he pushes right back and rests his head on your shoulder, snuggling up half on top of you.

“I really did miss you.”

“I missed you too Kook.”

A week later you’re sitting in one of the personal cubicles at a cafe, coffee in front of you, Jeongguk’s hand clenched tightly in your own as your leg bounces with anxiety.

“Noona, are you okay?” Jeongguk asks for the millionth time.

“I’m fine. Just preparing myself to meet the infamous hyungs who hate me.”

Jeongguk scoffs. “They don’t hate you. How many times do I have to tell you? They’re actually really excited to meet you.” He lifts your hand to his mouth and places a reassuring kiss against your knuckles just as the door slides open and two men walk up to the table.

“Are we interrupting something?” One of them asks as they both giggle.

“Always.” Jeongguk states as he stands up, giving them both some sort of high-five handshake. “What took you guys so long?”

“Tae couldn’t decide on what to wear.” The shorter one states as he sits down.

“I had to look nice!” The other one whines. “I wanted to make a good impression.”

“Ignore him.” The short one says, looking at you now. “You must be the girlfriend?” He asks, leaning back in his chair. You nod silently. “Not as feisty with your clothes on, huh?”

“Hyung!” Jeongguk scolds. “You said you’d be nice.”

“I’m just teasing! Introduce us Kookie.” The short one urges.

“Right!” Jeongguk exclaims, sitting up a little straighter. “Guys, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. Y/N, these are my hyungs: Jimin,” He points to the short one. “And Taehyung.” The nicely dressed one. Both of their faces are covered by masks, understandable; it must be hard for them to go anywhere without getting recognized. They both have blonde hair, Jimin’s is more of a sandy blonde, where as Taehyung’s is a much lighter bleached blonde, almost white.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N!” Taehyung sticks out his hand, which you accept.

“It’s nice to meet you both as well.” You stick out your hand to Jimin after Taehyung pulls away and he accepts it, placing a kiss on your knuckles much like Jeongguk did a few moments ago, only through his mask.

“Hyung!” Jeongguk whines, snatching your hand away from Jimin.

“Kookie, it’s just a greeting.” Jimin teases.

“Keep your lips off my girl!” Jeongguk hisses, pulling you closer, making you giggle at his protectiveness.

“Aw he’s so defensive.” Taehyung coos. “I wish I had someone to protect like that.”

“How did you guys meet anyway?” Jimin interrupts Taehyung’s pouting. “The more I look at you, the more familiar you seem.”

“Minsung hyung.” Jeongguk states.

“Minsung, our dancer, Minsung?” Taehyung asks.

You nod. “Minsung oppa and I… well,”

“They used to date.” Jeongguk explains.

“Ah, and when they broke up little Kookie was there to pick up the pieces?” Jimin asks.

“Not exactly.” Jeongguk shrugs.

“It took two years for ‘little Kookie’ to work up the courage to ask me out.” You giggle.

“And how long ago was that?” Jimin asks.

“Almost eight months.” Jeongguk informs them, smiling sweetly at you.

“Aw, you guys are so cute~” Taehyung exclaims, clapping his hands together.

Jimin leans back in his chair and shakes his head as he pulls his mask down, revealing his plump lips and full cheeks. “Wait a second. If you’ve been together for that long, then you guys have already done it, right?” Jimin breaks into a wide smile. “Our maknae finally got some?”

“We would’ve if you guys hadn’t come home early the other night.” Jeongguk goes quiet and looks down at the floor, so you step in.

“We haven’t had time.” You state simply.

“Haven’t had time? That’s a lame excuse.” Jimin laughs, elbowing Taehyung. “I bet he’s just too afraid to do it with an experienced woman.”

“Jesus, and you wonder why Jeongguk didn’t want to tell you guys about us.” You scoff, tightening your grip on Jeongguk’s hand.

“Yeah hyung.” Taehyung chides. “Why are you being so mean today?”

“You’re right, I’m sorry.” Jimin bows his head in apology. “But you really haven’t?”

Jeongguk shakes his head. “We really haven’t had time.”

“If you’d have told us the other night, we’d have forced the hyungs to stay out!” Taehyung informs him.

Jimin agrees. “Yeah, you know we would’ve helped you Kook.”

“Well that’s good to know if we ever try again at the dorm.” You joke. “Which will be never.”

“Understandable.” Taehyung nods.

“Have you guys done anything?” Jimin prys.

“Why do you need to know?” You ask, suddenly annoyed hat how desperate Jimin is to learn about your sex life.

“Noona…” Jeongguk quietly scolds.

“Because I want to see if Jeongguk really is good at everything.” Jimin answers.

You can’t help but laugh. “I was hoping you didn’t have a point, but you’ve got me there.”

You spend the rest of lunch chit chatting, learning more about each other. Turns out Taehyung and Jimin are actually very sweet and kind of hilarious. They remind you of Jeongguk, a bit of both of their personalities noticeable in your boyfriend, and you can tell they’ve been close for a long time with how they act with one another, but after about an hour, it’s time to say goodbye.

“Alright, we’ve got to get to dance rehearsal before Hobi hyung kills us.” Jimin states as he and Taehyung stand, gathering their things. “You coming Kook?”

“Yeah, I’m right behind you.” He nods, they smile in understanding, slide the door open, and make their way out, leaving you alone with Jeongguk who immediately turns to you.

“Well?” He asks hopefully, biting his bottom lip.

“They’re not so bad.” You shrug playfully. “I guess they’re okay.”

“Thank you jagiya.” Jeongguk leans in and give you a sweet kiss before pulling his own mask up. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Okay, have fun at dance baby.” You blow him a kiss as he rushes out the door to follow his elders. You lean back in your chair and drink the last of your coffee before standing and heading back home.

Three days later it’s the middle hyung’s turn. He’s invited you and Jeongguk to visit his studio which makes you nervous as it makes the matter seem more private not having it in a public space, but in an enclosed studio. When you arrive outside his door, Jeongguk quickly knocks before immediately entering, not even waiting for a response. You would think they’d have locks on these doors so they could focus.

“Hyung!” Jeongguk exclaims, yanking you over the threshold.

“Kook! I’m glad you made it.” He states, standing up. He’s taller than the others you met. In fact, he’s really just… tall. His hair is brushed back under a beanie but from what you can see it’s a light brown. He also has large square framed glasses on. “This must be Y/N who I’ve heard so much about?” He sticks out a hand.

“Yep!” Jeongguk pushes you forward happily and you take the outstretched hand.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N.” He says, shaking your hand and bowing his head a little. “I’m Namjoon.”

“Namjoon hyung’s our leader!” Jeongguk explains.

“Ah so you’re the one that has to keep them in line.” You joke.

“I try my best, but you’ve seen how at least the younger ones act when they’re together, right?”

“That I have, and I can’t say I envy you.”

“I don’t think anyone does.” Namjoon laughs. “But please, have a seat.” He points to the couch behind his computer chair. You and Jeongguk seat yourselves and Namjoon takes his seat back in his chair and turns it to face you both. “So, tell me how this all happened.”

Jeongguk speaks freely today; much more comfortable divulging information to Namjoon than he was to Taehyung and Jimin for some reason; he tells Namjoon about how you met, your friendship, how he asked you out, how long you’ve been dating, everything, not missing a single detail. When he’s finished, Namjoon leans back in his chair, seemingly pondering something.

“Well, I’m glad Jeongguk-ah found someone that makes him happy.” He finally says, offering up a wide smile. “But you two should be more careful around the dorm. I don’t know how many times you’ve done things there before, but from now on, at least tell me first, so we don’t have a repeat incident of last week, yeah?”

“That was the first time…” Jeongguk states.

Namjoon quirks up an eyebrow. “The first time at the dorm or…?” Jeongguk only nods. “Jeongguk we’ve talked about this.”

“I know. I didn’t think it was actually going to happen, it just… it just happened.”

“Yeah, it was definitely a ‘spur of the moment’ kind of thing.” You agree.

“Alright. Well, Y/N I don’t know your level of experience, but just remember if you have any questions, either of you,” Namjoon nods at you. “Don’t be afraid to ask, okay?”

“Thank you Namjoon, that’s really kind of you.” You say, offering him a smile.

“You’re the best, hyung.” Jeongguk agrees.

“Of course. The only thing I ask preemptively is that you two be safe when the time comes, okay?”

You nod. “I’ve got that taken care of.”

Namjoon claps his hands together. “Awesome. Now I have to get back to work, you guys can hang around if you want and listen in for a bit.”

“Noona?” Jeongguk turns to you.

“Are you sure?” You ask Namjoon.

“Yeah I don’t mind. It’s nice to have company and a fresh ear sometimes.”

“Can we order lunch?” Jeongguk asks.

“Kook, we just ate.” You chide.

“That was like an hour ago!” He whines. “How about just a snack?”

You know there’s no use fighting it so you simply shrug, watching as Namjoon turns back to his work and listening to the song he’s working on as Jeongguk orders takeout.

It’s friday. Movie night. You’re in the kitchen making popcorn as Jeongguk’s running late after helping Namjoon with something in the studio, but he made sure to tell you when he was on a his way, and just as the microwave dings, there’s a knock on the door.

“It’s open!” You call as you pull the popcorn out and shake the bag to get all the extra kernels to pop.

“Noona?” Jeongguk asks.

“In the kitchen!” You answer, pulling a bowl out of the cabinet and dumping the popcorn in it as a pair of arms encircle your waist, squeezing you tightly.

“I’ve missed you.” Jeongguk whines into your neck.

You giggle. “It’s been three days Kook.”

“Three whole days.” He pouts, placing a kiss against your neck.

You turn to face him. “As opposed to sunday when you leave for two whole weeks.”

“Exactly. So forgive me if I want to spend as much time with you as I can.”

“Then I suggest you get your cute butt out on that couch.” You state, shoving the bowl of popcorn at him.

He shoves a handful of popcorn in his mouth before taking the bowl and walking back to the living room with you following behind him. Jeongguk plops himself down on the couch and then yanks you down next to him.

“So what are we watching?” He asks.

“It’s called ‘A Portrait of Beauty’.”

“I’ve never heard of it.”

“It’s supposed to be really good. It’s about a painter in the Joseon era who pretends to be a man. It has Chu Ja Hyeon in it.”

“Oh, really? Hm. Alright, let’s give it a go.” He nods as you press play.

The movie is good. You and Jeongguk both get really absorbed in it, and it’s great; you love your time snuggled up with your boyfriend on the couch, just the two of you, his arms wrapped tightly around you, that is, until he starts to fidget. You’re only about halfway through the movie when Jeongguk shifts, crossing his legs and removing his arms from around you to lay his hands in his lap. You shrug and turn back to the movie, but he doesn’t stop, for the next several minutes, Jeongguk shifts back and forth, seemingly uncomfortable; you wouldn’t mind, but he keeps bumping into you every time he shifts, making it hard to pay attention to what’s happening on the screen.

“Okay, what?” You ask, pausing the movie and turning to face Jeongguk.

“W-what?” Jeongguk asks.

“What’s wrong with you? Can’t you sit still?”

“O-oh, s-sorry.” He mumbles, a blush dusting his cheeks as he looks down at his lap.

“Nope, I know that face, what’s wrong.”

“Nothing! I-It’s nothing.”

“Kook,” You soften your tone. “Talk to me babe.”

“It- I…”

“Is it the movie?”

Jeonguk rubs his neck like he’s ashamed. “K-kind of, I just…”

“I can turn it off? We can watch something else if you want?”

“N-no, you don’t have to I just… It’s kind of… turning me on.” He mumbles the words so lowly you almost don’t hear him.

“Wait, what?”

“I-I’m, uh… Yeah…”

You look up at the screen to see you’ve been so distracted by Jeongguk’s fidgeting that you didn’t even know there was a sex scene happening, right in front of your eyes. No wonder he’s uncomfortable, Korean movies really go all out with their sex scenes sometimes, it’s almost like softcore porn really; and you’ve paused it right on a close up shot of the actresses breasts being fondled. You give your boyfriend a once over, studying just how affected he is; pink cheeks, heavy breathing, his hands in his lap probably pushing down his erection. Suddenly an idea pops into your head; why not give him a little taste of what it’s like?

You grab the popcorn bowl and set it on the coffee table in front of you before getting up on your knees and leaning over Jeongguk to firmly plant your lips against his like you’ve done so many times before. You can feel him physically relax at your touch as you cup his face, slipping your tongue between his lips to hear that little gasp of his that drives you wild. You place one of your hands on his thigh as you move your lips to his neck, pressing light kisses against his skin as your hand moves up to the bulge in his jeans and presses against it.

“N-noona…” Jeongguk gasps. “W-what are you doing?”

“It’s a going away present.” You whisper, tugging on his earlobe with your teeth as your hands unbuckle his belt.

“I-I… Noona- hah-” He grips the sofa cushions beneath him, not entirely sure what to do with his hands.

“I can stop if you’re uncomfortable baby.” You assure him, pressing a wet kiss to his pulse point before sitting back.

“No!” He exclaims, a little too eagerly. “I mean- n-no, please… please don’t stop.”

You smirk, leaning forward and sucking a dark bruise on his collarbone. “That should give the makeup team something to do.” You joke, making him crack a smile as you move to get on your knees in front of him. Jeongguk visibly gulps so you rub your hands along his thighs. “Relax for me Kookie, yeah? I wanna make you feel good.” You coo.

Jeongguk lets out a stuttered breath as he nods and you take that as your cue. You pop open the button of his jeans and slide down the zipper, making sure your hands brush against him at every possible moment before you grab the waistband of his jeans and tug them down to mid thigh; the rather large patch of precum staining the front of his boxers causing you to pause, but before he can ask questions, you lean forward and drag your tongue along Jeongguk’s length overtop of the fabric, causing him to let out a low, shaky moan. You grab his boxers and yank them down along with his jeans, letting the fabric pool on the floor in front of you as Jeongguk’s erection springs to life.

Since this is your first time actually seeing it, you wrap a hand around the base of it and stroke him slowly, allowing you to study it for a moment. He’s a little longer than average, maybe seven or so inches, and he’s pleasantly thick, but the first thing that catches your eye is that he’s shaved. Completely. Balls and all. And from the looks of the stubble growing back, it was a recent shave, and probably a first one; you’ll ask him about it later; for now, you focus on the dripping red tip of his cock and how it seems to just ache for your mouth.

You look up to see Jeongguk watching you intently, the tiniest moans slipping from his mouth as you stroke him, but his eyes don’t leave your face. You toss him one last wink before leaning forward and wrapping your lips around his tip. Jeongguk’s head immediately falls back against the couch as he groans.

“Hah- Ah, n-noona~ Oh my god~”

You smile to yourself as you sink your mouth down further and further before pulling back, swirling your tongue around the head before dipping it into the slit, absolutely relishing in the sounds of Jeongguk above you. God you’re going to ruin this boy.

You slide your mouth down again and Jeongguk’s hands find your hair, gipping it tightly as he begins to carefully guide your movements; up and down, up and down, and down, and… down? He holds you down against him with his dick in the back of your throat, not paying attention to anything except the feeling of your lips and tongue, that is, until you tap his thigh furiously and he lets you go, popping off him with a gasp. Jeongguk looks amazed as you come up to breathe, a trail of spit connecting you to his cock still.

“Kook… you’ve got to… let me breathe…” You chide lightly, the both of you panting.

“I’m sorry!” He leans forward and cups your face, giving you a swift kiss. “It just felt so good.” Another kiss. “I’ve never felt anything like that before. Does it always feel that good?” He asks as a bit of spit drips down onto your shirt.

“If you know what you’re doing it does.” You state, grabbing your shirt and lifting it off over your head.

“W-what are you doing?” He asks, suddenly nervous again.

“Relax, I just don’t want to get my shirt dirty.” You explain as you reach around and unclasp your bra, letting it fall to the floor. “Besides, it’s more fun this way.” Jeongguk seems mesmerized by your breasts until you push him back against the couch and take him in your mouth again, your breasts pressing against him.

As soon as your lips touch him, Jeongguk goes back to moaning; sweet high pitched gasps and groans spurring you on. You allow Jeongguk to guide your movements for a little longer before you decide to deep throat him again, this time, of your own accord. You take a deep breath and then sink down as far as you can, burying your nose in Jeongguk’s abdomen before immediately pulling back to tease him. He whimpers and grabs your hair again, pushing you back down greedily; but you oblige, taking another deep breath before going back down as far as you can, this time swallowing around Jeongguk’s length as many times as you can as he holds you in place until his cock twitches in your throat and you hear him start to swear.

“Ohhh fuck~ Shit! N-noona~ N-no! No no no no damnit! Hah~ Ah~!”

You pull of just in time for Jeongguk to leave a little bit of cum in your mouth, the saltiness sticking on your tongue, you pull back and stroke Jeongguk to completion, aiming for your mouth, but this boy has no aim apparently, and his white release gets all over your face and chest, including on your left eye. When his orgasm finishes, Jeongguk collapses against the couch, clearly spent, his length already softening in your hand as he pants harshly.

“Um… Kook?”

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I know i-”

“No, no.” You stop him before he can apologize for cumming too fast like you know he’s about to. “I just uh- could you get me a washcloth?”

Jeongguk opens his eyes to see his cum dripping down your face. “Oh god! Hold on!” He jumps up so fast the he forgets his pants are still around his ankles and he trips over them before quickly yanking them back up on his way to your bathroom. You sit on your floor, shirtless and sticky until you hear Jeongguk coming back into the room. “Here.” He kneels down next to you and turns your face toward him. “Let me get your eye for you.”

You jump a bit when the washcloth touches you, but relax as Jeongguk begins to hum softly, cleaning your eye thoroughly before pulling back. When you open your eye it takes a second, but things adjust to show an adorably smiling, flushed Jeongguk kneeling next to you.

“Can you see?” He asks, concerned.

You nod before cracking a smile. “I can see clearly nowww the rain is gooone~” You sing.

“Noona.” Jeongguk rolls his eyes.

“I can see all obstacles in my wayyyy~” You continue. Jeongguk throws the washcloth at your face to stop you. “Hey! That’s not nice. After what I just did for you?”

“Come on, let’s clean you up.” Jeongguk giggles, pulling you up with him and tugging you to the bathroom. You stand in front of the mirror, washing the remnants of Jeongguk off your body as he stands behind you, softly caressing your waist. “Noona?”

“Mm?” You mumble as you splash your face one last time before turning off the water.

Jeongguk hands you a dry towel. “I… I’m sorry for, well, that. I didn’t mean to do it s-so fast and-”

“Jeongguk stop.”

“But noona-”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.” You shush him, turning off the light and then pulling him into your bedroom. “Trust me, I wasn’t even expecting you to last that long.” You grab a pajama shirt and tug it on as Jeongguk sheds his jeans and pulls on a pair of shorts he leaves at your house. You both climb into bed and you snuggle up to him. “You did so good for me baby boy.” You whisper, planting a kiss on his cheek.

“N-noona…” He mumbles, embarrassed, but he relaxes at your words.

“So good baby. Now get some sleep, yeah?

“Okay.” You rest your head on his chest, and just as you’re about to drift off you hear him speak again. “Noona?”

“Mm?” You mumble half asleep already.

“I-I love you.”

You sit up at this, looking at Jeongguk’s face, highlighted by the moonlight peeking through the blinds and seeing the sincerity on his face. You smile happily. “I love you too Jeongguk.”

He pulls you down and places a sweet kiss on your lips, lingering for just a bit before breaking the kiss and pulling you closer.

“I love you so much.”

Copyright © Inkjam-Moon 2019

#inkjam-moon #btssmutclub #bts scenarios #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x reader #bts fluff #bts smut #jeongguk fluff #jungkook fluff #jeongguk smut #jungkook smut #bts fanfiction #bts fics #jeongguk #jeon jeongguk #jungkook #bts jungkook #bts jeongguk #sweet & spicy #sweet & spicy series #sweet & spicy part two #part two #mini series

[crushedbyhyperbole]

Beyond Broken - Chapter Six

Chapter Summary:  Thor's stalking reaches a new high with the help of a certain former Russian spy. He comes to realise that he's hopelessly addicted to the woman named Jess. Thor gives her a name for himself, and they strike an easy rapport. Weeks on, something suddenly changes and Thor is thrown into a dilemma: kiss the girl or do the honourable thing.

Words:  5.6k

A/N:  Here, Donald Blake is Thor's alter ego. (It's a little nod to the comics.)

Warnings:  Angst, emotional hurt & distress, crying, a really mean argument happens, sexual attraction, soft Thor, first kiss, morale dilemma, guilt, bad language... also Thor is a stalker (but he means well).  Really long chapter - sorry.

New Heights

Thor had accepted that the mystery woman had not wanted his company on her walk back through the park but he did not stay on the promenade.  At a distance he followed her, watching her traverse the foot-worn trails through the brush in the sporadic light of the lampposts.

He watched from the shadows as she met with her fiancé, as he kissed her and they embraced.  With the use of his bionic eye he watched them walk further up the street where they seemed to get into a fight.  He couldn’t make out the words but he could see she was angry, and then terribly sad.  Whatever that man had said or done to her was none of his business but it irritated him nonetheless.

When they both disappeared into an underground parking garage, he thought perhaps they lived there in the building above.   Soon after, a small red Toyota emerged onto the street and disappeared along a side street. Perhaps not then.

There were many things about the woman that he didn’t know, and those were mostly things that he had no right to know, like where she lived or worked for example.  Thor liked to know things, he preferred to be prepared.

The parking garage served the offices and businesses above, of which there was a mixture from legal to health and not surprisingly, an art studio.  It also served as a limited space public parking area.

The art studio is promising.  He thought.

 The next day he went to investigate, disguised as a rich entrepreneur.  He carried a suit very well and had seen enough of Stark’s interactions with people to know how things should be done.  So, wearing the petrol blue three-piece he had worn to the first Avengers press conference and ball, and the large silvery time piece gifted to him by Clint two Christmases ago, he availed himself of the studio’s exhibition.

The paintings were mediocre at best.  In all his years on Asgard, visiting all nine realms, and the years he’d spend here on Midgard, he had never seen anything as unsatisfying as what they produced in this era and called modern art.  The sculptures were better, in particular a twisting metal contraption that spun, creating undulating waves using the motion of each segment.  It looked like a jellyfish propelling itself through the deep ocean.  The kinetic sculpture was powered by a motor inside the gallery but the intent for the piece was for it to be wind powered.

It was beautiful, mesmerising even.

“Good morning, sir.” The smartly dressed assistant approached him.  “Can I show you our video catalogue of kinetic sculptures?”

“What’s the artist like?” He asked aloofly, suddenly disinterested in the motion of the sculpture.

“I don’t quite follow.”

“For me it’s more about the artists journey than the final piece.  The kind of person they are, the things they’ve overcome, their process.  Can you show me some biographicals on your artists instead?  I have a specific need to find a connection.”  Thor could feel himself oozing with charismatic over-confidence and pompousness.

“Certainly, sir.”

The young man scurried away but did not return.  Instead an older lady in a designer pants suit, with a commanding presence approached.

“I understand you wanted to meet the artist.”  She smiled smugly.

“You painted all of these works?”  He spread his arms and gestured largely.

“Save a few.”  She nodded, eyeing him like a snack.

“And the sculptures?”

“Some.”  She drank him in from head to toe.  “I mainly work in clay, like this one.”  She stroked her hand lovingly down a large sculpture shaped like a lady’s forearm, the base was like the roots of a tree and a single leaf sprouted from one of the splayed fingers.  “It’s the tree of life.”  She smiled with pride.

The piece was titled Yggdrasil.

You have no idea what Yggdrasil really is.  He thought.

“Poetic.”  He said, nodding with false appreciation.  “What about the metal-work?”

“My partner.  He works large-scale for public display.”  She flicked her hand dismissively.  “These are the smallest of his works.”

“And it’s just the two of you?”  Thor was starting to despair.

“Yes, we’re a business here, not just a labour of love, Mr…?”

“Blake.”  He supplied languidly.

“Mr Blake?”  She mused over the name.  “British aristocracy?”

“Something like that.” He coughed nervously.  “How could you tell?”

“You have a rarefied air about you.  If I did portraits I’d offer you my services.”  She winked, predatory.

“I’m after something in particular, a connection.  Not a portrait.”

“And what is the budget, if you don’t mind my asking?”

“The price is irrelevant, for the right piece.”  He took another look around, trying not to notice her greedy smirk.  “None of your assistants paint?”

“No, neither of them.” She scowled.

“Are you sure?  I had heard there might be a budding artist in hiding up here.”  He winked at her cheekily.

“You’ve met Alasdair, and She’ree has no skill with a brush.  She is wicked with record keeping but isn’t artistic in any way.”

“Sherry?  The brunette?”

“She’ree.  The redhead.”   She was growing impatient.  “It’s obvious that nothing here has caught your eye, Mr Townsend.”

“Yes,” he blinked disappointingly, “it appears this has been nothing but a wild goose chase.  I apologise for wasting your time, madam.”

 What in Odin’s name was he doing?  Stalking a woman he’d seen out walking her dog?  Visiting places in the hopes of seeing her or finding out more about her?

On his way down in the elevator he noticed an older woman staring intensely at him, unashamed.  He looked away but she did not.  Looking at the floor, the walls, the ceiling, the doors, his shoes, his fingernails, everywhere but her, he endured the ride to the ground floor in uncomfortable self-conscious silence.  A nervous smile and a quick exit later he was striding out of the communal lobby and onto the street.

“There you are!”  A familiar voice stopped his heart.  He panicked.  Stopped dead outside the doorway and stepped immediately left, hiding behind the pillar.  He mentally blessed the girth and steadfastness of the stone feature.

“Did you see that guy?!”

“What guy?”

“The guy who just got off the elevator.”

“What guy?”

“The hunk in the swanky blue suit.”

“I didn’t see a guy.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Come on, we’ll miss all the good tables.”

She was coming. Heading his way.  She’d see him and the game would be up.  She’d be upset, creeped out, disgusted even. She’d tell him to stay away from her and he’d do what she asked, of course he would, but it’d hurt.  Ever since he’d met her he’d felt different, less angry, less loathsome.  She’d calmed his inner storm without him fully realising, until now, the extent of the effect she was having on him.

“I swear if I was twenty years younger I’d be getting arrested for rape.”  The older woman laughed.  “He was beautiful, Jess, absolutely stunning.  My Charlie would be getting a divorce if someone like that walked into my life.  Hell, I’d probably never walk right ever again.”

“Jesus woman, I can practically hear you squelching as you walk.  Do you need a napkin?”

Both laughing heartily, the two women exited, and as they did so, Thor shuffled himself around the column, slotting himself between the stone and the full-length glass of the lobby frontage.  The girl at the desk frowned at him.

He smiled nervously and moved away.  The two women turned the corner and he was suddenly safe.  And now he had a name.  Jess.  Why hadn’t he looked closer at the woman in the elevator?  He could remember next to nothing about her except that her hair was short and light, that her eyes were brown and made him uncomfortable, and that she wore dark coloured formal attire.  There were no clues at all.

He racked his brain for information.  He hadn’t even seen his mystery woman, only heard her voice.  There was a chance that he had been mistaken, and it hadn’t even been her.

You know in your heart it was her.  He pepped himself up.  Now remember more!

 It was useless.  The more he plundered the memory the fainter it became until he could barely hear his mystery woman’s voice in his head.

This is wrong.  He berated himself.  She’s taken.  You should just let her go.  There’s nothing for you but heartache and a knee to the groin.  If you’re lucky, just heartache.

He couldn’t argue with the facts but it didn’t change the other fact that he’d become different since he’d met her.  The small amount of interaction he’d had with her had lifted him out of the gutter and back on his feet.  Imagine what getting to know her better could achieve.  He was attracted to her, certainly, but sex wasn’t the ultimate goal.  He decided he’d be happy just to have her in his life.  A friend, someone he could share things with, good and bad.

So stop the creeping.

“Ok, fine!”  He huffed aloud.

  That evening, after he watched Jess meet her fiancé at Neptune’s coffee shop, watched him kiss her and hand the dog off to her before dashing away, Thor realised that he had no willpower, couldn’t be trusted and also he decieved himself all too often. Telling himself he’d stop stalking her had been a bare-faced lie.  Well, almost. Instead, he was stalking the fiancé.

Thor tailed him six blocks to a small hotel by the lighthouse, right near where Thor lived. He knew that the man made it back to meet Jess by ten pm, so what could the fiancé of a beautiful woman like her possibly be doing going to a hotel several nights a week?

Thor disliked the man before, but now he was disgusted.

 Jogging back along the promenade he made it to marker twelve later than usual.  Jess was already there, sitting in his seat.

“Stealing my seat now?”

“You snooze, you lose.” Her smile was mischievous.  “I thought for a moment you’d found a better spot.”

“This is definitely the best spot.”

“You sure you’re not holding out on me?”

“Certainly not.”

“Alright.”  She looked at him with suspicion.  “You keep your secrets.”  She gave him a tiny wink.

Talking to her that evening he could only think of the betrayal that was happening at that very moment in a hotel room a little over a mile away.  Where did she think her fiancé went while she was here walking their dog?

 When she left their communal spot to meet back up with her fiancé again Thor followed.  The man looked crumpled, dishevelled, flustered. How could she not notice that?  It wasn’t Thors place to judge.  Maybe she was so in love that she didn’t see, aand discover her fiancé’s treachery would break her heart.

 The next day Thor used the communicator.

“Romanoff,” he rumbled, “It’s Thor.  Yes, yes, I know you know who I am.  Listen, I need a favour.”

He asked the former spy to get him some information on who had been staying at the hotel by the lighthouse the previous night.

“It’s a personal project.” He said vaguely when she questioned him. “I need to find someone.”

“Any thoughts on when you’re coming back?  Steve is worried about you.”

“Tell him I’m fine. Tell him I said hello.”

“I’ll email you what I find.”

“Great, Thank you.”

 Romanoff was thorough and efficient.  There were only four rooms booked at the hotel that night.  One a couple from Canada.  One a lady who had been staying there since Monday and was due to leave on Sunday – promising.  One a conference suite rented by the hour – also promising.  And one an elderly gentleman there for one night.

There were additional notes and photographs attached.  Romanoff had pulled driver’s licences, addresses and a flurry of other information from the SHIELD and law enforcement databases.  The elderly gentleman apparently lived in Florida but visited New London once a year on the anniversary of his wife’s death.  Not him then.  The woman was staying in the hotel for a week while her house was repaired, after all the recent rainfall, her basement had been flooded and needed significant repair. Ooops.  That just left the conference suite.

It had been rented on an ongoing basis by a Mr Charles S. Duffy.  Charles was an investment banker living right here in New London.  Age 58. Married, with one child [DECEASED].  Vehicle:  Silver Ford Explorer.  The plate number was right there too.

Thor sent a reply requesting more info on Duffy’s activities at the hotel, and received CCTV footage of the man entering the hotel and various cameras tracking his movements into the Seaview Suite - as the name on the door said.  A short while after, a tall man looking very much like Jess’s fiancé entered the suite also.  Both men emerge from the suite within minutes of each other shortly before ten pm.

His communicator played a snippet of a tune with tension and drums.  He’d received a message.

[N.R]  Are you P.I. Thor now?

[T.O.]  It’s personal.  What is P.I?

[N.R]  Forget it.

[T.O]  Please don’t tell Stark.

 In the early evening he went to the gym.  They were used to seeing him there now and happy to let him go about his business without interrupting him to find out if he knew how to use each of the machines. There was always the occasional patron who looked on, impressed, to see how much he was bench pressing.   He pushed himself hard, realising he’d missed this aspect of his life.

 It was warmer today than previous days.  The progression into late spring /early summer was apparent now that his month-long brooding session was drawing to a close.  Soon there would be more people staying out later in the evenings due to the nicer weather and the lighter nights.  He decided he might as well enjoy the beach while he could.

Tucking his shoes into his gym bag he crossed the railings and dropped the few feet down onto the sand. It was cold and damp between his toes, not at all as pleasant as he had hoped.  Using his bag as a seat he sat a few metres up from the dark line that marked the most recent tide line and picked out pebbles to throw at the water. If he timed it just right he could throw the pebbles right at the leading edge of the water as it shifted and began to recede.

 The yap of a small dog startled him.  He’d know that bark anywhere but he refused to turn around, that would be… desperate. Soon the clunk of heels along the promenade drew to a stop nearby.  He continued to throw his stones, unable to prevent the small smirk that forced its way onto his lips.

It felt like he sat there for hours waiting for her to notice him, he’d exhausted all pebbles in the reachable vicinity and would be forced to move very soon.  Just when he was about to admit defeat, her voice carried down to him.

“You tired of sharing your spot with me now?”  She said playfully, leaning on her forearms on the railings, as was her preferred position.

Acting as if he hadn’t noticed her approach he turned, looking surprised.

“Oh, hello!”  He waved and stood.  “Not at all.  I’m a very gracious landlord.”  Approaching the raised wooden walkway he came face-to-face with her ankles.  Looking upward, the line of her nylon-sheathed legs disappeared at the knee under that wonderfully shaped skirt she seemed to prefer. “You may squat here at my marker as often as you like.”  He smiled, squinting a little against the light behind her.  “I mean, you said you were a squatter, I didn’t mean that you should squat.  Unless you’d prefer to come down here.  I mean I can help you, if you’d like?”

Oh shut your infernal mouth for once!  His face burned.

“I’m fine thanks.” She laughed, lowering her head until her smirk was smothered by the backs of her hands.  “I’m not exactly dressed for climbing fences.”

“I’ll come up then.” He slung his bag across his back and pulled himself up and over the railings.  Dusting the sand from his feet he put his shoes back on, regarding her furtively while his head was lowered.

“You come here every day?” She asked.

“In one way or another, yes.”

“Oooh, mysterious.” She poked fun.  “I don’t even know what that means.”

“Well,” he rumbled, swallowing dryly, “I come here to use the gym, or run sometimes.  I do live quite close, just over there in fact.” He pointed to the waterfront apartment building a mile up the shoreline.  “Mostly I come here to be at peace.”

You give me peace.  He thought.

Something in her face changed, softened even, if it could possibly get any more appealing.  There was a sadness in her eyes.  He couldn’t look away.

“You lost someone?” She broke eye contact first, staring down at her hands.

“hmm?”  He was baffled for a split second.  “Oh you mean The Infinity War?  D-Day?  Yes, I lost a great many people that day.”  Did his voice just break then?  “But before that even… I’ve seen some terrible things.”

He was aware that he shouldn’t be going down this road, not with her.  He’d hoped to remain anonymous, to leave Thor -The Avenger behind and become Thor - the man instead.  Or possibly even not Thor at all, just a man.

“Were you in the army?”

“Close enough.”  He nodded.  If he wasn’t careful he would give too much away.  “I prefer not to speak of it.”

“I get it.”  She reassured.  “We’re all hurting, it’s just that some of us hide it better than others. A lot of people died.  It’s harder to find people who didn’t lose someone.”

“Life is the only thing that can be stolen and never given back.”  He muttered.  “And time.”

“Profound.”  She praised.

“I have my moments. There’s a lot going on with me, you know.”  He tried to lighten the mood.  “Part-time public-space landlord, rain chaser, and philosopher.  To mention just a few.”

His humour was verging on cringeworthy.  How had he taken it from harrowing inner turmoil to shameless flirtation in one sentence.

“I’m sure you have many talents.”

Had she just flirted back or was that sarcasm?

“I’m Jessica, by the way.” She proffered her hand.

He took it gently, raising it and bowing as if to press it against his forehead in a gesture of utmost respect.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”  Charm oozing from him in waves.  “My name is…”

What should I tell her?  Hello, I’m Thor, God of Thunder!  Out of the question.

He spoke slowly, giving himself a chance to think of a name.  He’d never given it any thought before, if he wasn’t Thor then who was he? The woman in the art studio had thought him British aristocracy, so what was a good British name?  A British King perhaps.  Henry.  Richard. George.  William.  Yes, that one!

Her face dropped, slack jawed and horrified she watched his mouth start forming the name.  Seeing the shock bloom across her face was enough to make him reconsider the whole false name thing.

“W-i-l-l-you excuse me.” He turned and fake sneezed into his hands.

“Bless you.”

“My apologies.  My name is Donald, my friends call me Don.”

Your friends call you Point Break but you’re not telling her that.  He thought.

“Don?”

“I’d offer to shake your hand but, well…”  He grimaced, making a show of wiping his hands on the legs of his jeans.

“Yeah, I’m good.”  She chuckled.  “Good to know you, Don.”

“Lady Jessica.”  He swept himself into a flourishing bow drawing a good-humoured eye roll from her.  “The pleasure is mine.”

“My friend’s call me Jess.”

“If I’m permitted?”

“I don’t mind.  Knock yourself out.”

“Very well, Jess.”

 He might have looked bashful for a moment as she looked him up and down.  He’d gotten more than he had hoped for so why was his chest aching and his gut telling him to escape?  She was beautiful, he really couldn’t think that enough.  Her steely-blue eyes were large and expressive, delicately arching brows and rich dark hair framing her perfect face.  The sweep of long lashes had him holding his breath when she blinked long and slow, a slight blush on her cheeks as they spoke.

“Have I got something on my face again?”  Her brows knitted subtly.

Jerking out of his daze, he searched her visage for anything out of place.

“No, you look perfect, as always.”  He’d totally missed that he’d been staring at her the whole time.

She frowned more deeply, tucking a few carefree strands of hair back behind her ear.

“I should go, it’s already after ten.”  She looked away with a look he could only describe as shame.  “Daisy has been so patient with me.”

Thor wanted to say something.  Apologise. Make light of his inability to read a situation.  Tell her how much he enjoyed her company.  Anything to take the shame from her expression.  Ask her to stay - not that it would help.  Instead he went with:

“She’s a good dog.”

 After they parted, Thor mentally kicked himself.  He always had an uncanny knack of making things awkward.  More often than not it was endearing and usually made him quite likeable, especially to women.  But then again they mostly only wanted into his trousers, more so when they discovered he was a god.  Jess was different, she was guarded.  He felt that he hadn’t overstepped any boundaries but this was Midgard and his ways were foreign here.  He would have to be more careful with his compliments so as not to make her uncomfortable.

 The next day she returned. And the next.  Thor found himself falling in with her routines.  Before long they’d been talking five nights a week for several weeks.  Thor started walking with her while she walked the dog, always keeping a proper distance and never making her feel awkward.  He brought a ball for Daisy Duke which became something they did, he kept it in his gym bag always.  He told Jess it was becoming part of his daily workout so he and Daisy would run and chase each other in the grass while Jess watched on, laughing.

Jess started bringing an extra coffee with her for him.  He’d tried the tiramisu hot chocolate, and while he enjoyed the taste he couldn’t excuse the excessive calories but he didn’t tell her that.

“I like my coffee how I like my men.”  He said flatly.  “Long and black, and bitter on the tongue.”

“Lewd!”  She’d laughed long, feigning disgust, tears running down her cheeks.  “That’s something my mind will never unsee.  Thanks for that.”

That had been one of Thor’s favourite days with her.  The day she laughed so hard she cried.  He’d seen tears in her eyes before, shamefully brushed away, emotions denied. Now they made her eyes sparkle like star-steel.  Wet cheeks or not she was stunning.  Her hand momentarily rested on his bicep and he found her almost too close for comfort. He’d been laughing too, but now he was looking at the play of happiness on her lips and sparkle in her eyes. She’d done the same, eyes flicking down to his mouth as her laughter subsided.  His skin prickled with anticipation and it was like he was frozen in place, seeing her within reach but unable to make the moment real.

Something broke in her and she snorted loudly, falling into a second round of laughter.  It took the awkwardness out of the moment.  Perhaps she hadn’t felt it like he had.  He hoped she hadn’t noticed him hungrily drinking in the sight of her, hanging on her every gesture like a breath exhaled on a still and frozen night, where one slight caress could send him spiralling.

 No matter how he felt, Thor was the perfect gentleman.  Always respectful, always chivalrous, always considerate.  He’d been brought up that way.  He never intruded on Jess’s time with her fiancé, remaining out of the way during drop offs and pick ups but making sure she was safe.  In the beginning the fiancé had walked with her in the park before leaving to ‘meet up with friends’ – those were Jess’s words. But now he left her at Neptune’s in order to dash off for a few hours with his lover.  Thor had done enough digging to see what the man was up to but he didn’t understand how could Jess not see?  She was astute and incredibly smart; she reminded him of Jane a little in that respect.

Sometimes people can’t see what they don’t want to see.  He told himself many times.

Her fiancé was having an affair with another man.  Thor didn’t want to be the one to break the news to her but the longer it went on the harder it was for him to stay silent.  The risk that she would blame Thor for telling her and never speak to him again, however, kept him quiet.  He was torn.

 Spring turned to summer and they still met each other in the park.  Thor had been content with simply sharing her time on the nights she was there. Jess hadn’t offered anything else, nor asked.

Conversation was easy and they talked about a great many things, though never anything too personal. He discovered that she worked at a dental surgery nearby (she had pointed up the street where Neptune’s was on the corner), which then triggered a memory of the day he’d gone to the gallery, and the woman in the elevator.  There had been an astringent smell he had barely even noticed but with the new information his memory returned, richer, and now with aroma-vision. Thor had chuckled out of the blue, drawing questions from her.

“I know that building.” He’d replied.  “I visited an art dealer there once, very disappointing show but the woman there offered to capture my likeness.”

“I bet she did.” Jess’s tone was full of inuendo, but Thor’s look of innocence made her laugh all the harder.

 Thor told her he worked in ‘security solutions’ which she accepted.  It hadn’t been far from the truth, in a scaled down, simplistic way. They shared anecdotes, although Thor held back;  there was much of his life and antics that were well documented in the media here on Midgard, and although Jess didn’t seem to pay any attention to that, there was bound to be something that would make his real identity known to her.

She really seemed to enjoy his company and he watched as she blossomed from the closed off, pained and self-diminished creature into a radiant, vibrant and exuberant woman, full of life.  It was basking in this glory that Thor finally saw that life could be good, even after all of his failings and defeat in The Infinity War.  Good could come out of evil, and that he deserved happiness as much as everyone else, in whatever capacity it presented itself.

  Things changed dramatically one Saturday night.  Jess arrived at Neptune’s as usual, straight from work.  Thor watched from a shaded part of the park as she met with her fiancé. Thor would wait for her until she crossed over and pick up her trail, meeting her a little way down the footpath. Her fiancé had stopped getting her the usual hot chocolate with tiramisu a while back so she and Thor took it in turns to buy drinks for each other.  Today it was Thor’s turn and he had 2 cups in hand ready waiting.

There seemed to be an issue, however.  They were arguing, arms wildly gesticulating, voices raised.  The fiancé was pointing at the park aggressively, his face growing more red.  Jess was crying.  She took the dog leash from him looking up at the sky in supplication.  Suddenly she slapped him across the face and scooped up the dog, striding away from him, heedless of oncoming traffic.  The fiancé left without a backward glance.

Thor’s heart almost stopped as she stepped out onto the road.  He scanned up and down but she was clear.  Her pace quickened, feet skipping as she partly jogged through the park’s gateway from the street.  He didn’t want her to know he’d seen so he moved to intercept her at the joining of their two paths.

“Hey, you.”  He said in the calmest tone he could muster, falling into step beside her.  “Good day?” He prompted, hoping she’d open up.

She didn’t even look at him.

“Jess?”

Her face was streaked with tears, and she stared ahead only as if it was the only way to hold her composure.  A few more strides on he decided to take action.  Getting out in front of her, he transferred both cups to one big hand, base stacked on lid, and stopped her with a hand laid gently on her shoulder.

“Hey, hey,” he soothed, “what’s the matter?”

That was all it took for the floodgates to open and she was crying again, shoulders shaking, gasping for breath as she let go of her composure.

Thor put the drinks down beside his feet and stepped forward to pull her into a hug.  It was such a natural gesture, he didn’t even think about the space he promised himself he’d always give her, nor the physical contact he knew he shouldn’t engage in.  She needed him in that moment, and she didn’t shy away.

Jess leant into him, allowing him to wrap her in his arms, and pressed her face into his chest.  She sobbed and sniffled, breathing hot and humid through his t-shirt onto his skin.  They stood like that for a while, with him rubbing her back in the most platonic way he could, and her soaking his chest with her tears.

Daisy started pulling on the leash and it seemed to draw Jess back to the here and now.  She stepped back as Thor’s arms fell away. They felt all wrong with the warmth of her gone and he wasn’t sure what to say, or do.  Without more information about why she was so upset, he could very well say the wrong thing and make everything so much worse.

“Is there anything I can do?”  He spoke softly.

The park had few enough people in it that they were relatively alone, and the quality of the light made it feel like they were secluded in a twilight realm.  He longed to hold her again but to do so would not be proper.

“No.”  She exhaled a heavy, shuddering breath, and wiped her cheeks with the palms of her hands.

When she looked up at him a second later she looked so vulnerable.  His heart ached to see her this way.

Her eyes flicked down to his soaked t-shirt and back up to his face.  Her eyes went wide and gasped a little.

Thor panicked.  She was about to say something about him touching her.

“I’m sorry, I…”  He gestured with his arms.

“I’m not.”

She didn’t miss a beat. Stepping forward quickly, she stood on her tip-toes and pressed her lips to his, freezing him on the spot.

Her lips were soft and a little puffy from crying but they felt divine.  She released the seal of her lips but kept gentle contact, trailing her mouth across his, slowly drawing him into a response, parting his lips with hers until things suddenly clicked.

His response was immediate and thorough.  Catching her waist with one hand and sliding the other into her hair, he cradled her, deepening the kiss.  He delved into her, tasting the salt of her tears and the sweetness of her mouth.  It was everything he’d imagined it would be and he was swept away by the wave of passion that crested and flooded his senses.

Her hands were on his face, in his hair and she was sighing through her nose as their tongues touched and circled in the join between them.  One more little moan from her and he swore to himself that he’d lay her down right there and see what other noises he could coax from her beautiful lips.

This isn’t right.  He thought, mentally kicking himself as he so often did when he thought improper thoughts around her.

 Thor was the first to pull back, breathless and startled.  He felt like he had as a boy getting caught stealing sweet treats from the kitchens.  This thing between them now wasn’t his to have, it was a dream and was destined to remain as such.

“I can’t allow you to do this.”  He beseeched, steadying her with hands on her upper arms, thumbs gently stroking against her blouse.  “Your fiancé might be an unfaithful weasel but you’re better than that.  I could not forgive myself for making an adulterer of you.”

Her furious frown was complete and undeniable.  There was confusion there also, and tears.  Plump beads collecting on her lower lids, making her eyes turn glassy.

Turning on her heel, she fled, tugging the poor dog with her.

“Jessica, wait!”  Thor felt like he’d been punched in the gut by Hulk, breathing was difficult and he ached.

He knew he should not follow, she wanted space or why run?  She’d already cleared the park and it took every ounce of willpower to keep his feet firmly planted where they were because every nerve in his body told him to go to her and his muscles twitched to obey. The fading feeling of her lips on his pulled at something in his chest, making him feel hollow.  What in Odin’s name had he done?

#thor fanfiction #thor fanfic #thor odinson #thor x ofc #thor fan fiction #marvel fanfic #angst #emotional hurt #thor kiss #cloudy's writing #beyond broken

[wroughtbetwixtfanfic]

Wheels Set In Motion, Ch 2.

Fandom: The Society.

Summary: As the situation in New Ham takes a dark, mysterious turn, Campbell is faced with a threat he never saw coming. With few allies and the past coming back to haunt him, he is forced to deal with a world that is crumbling fast, and choices with grim consequences.

Rating: Explicit.

Tags: Minor Character Death, Canon Divergence, Mental Health Issues, Addiction Recovery, Unhealthy Relationships, Teen Pregnancy, Past Rape/Non-con, Campbell Isn’t The Dad, Brother Feels, Attempted Murder, Supernatural Elements, Gay Sex, Resolved Sexual Tension, Campbell has mild ASPD and is actively trying to not be awful

Word Count: 7613

Ch 1 || Ch 3 || Ch 4 || Ch 5 || AO3

Meet me at the library.

It was 10am when Campbell got  the text from Grizz. He had been sitting at the kitchen counter with  Elle and Harry; both of them lifted their gazes at the sound of the  buzzing, giving him a quizzical look.

It's done. I need someone to talk to.

"Who is it?" Elle wondered.

"Grizz." Campbell stood up and slipped on his shoes. "Allie went through with it."

Harry's face turned a faint shade of green. "What does he want?"

"I don't know. I'll be home soon."

Yet  another lie, but what did it matter? Campbell didn't know for sure what  was going on, or what exactly Grizz wanted to talk about; he could only  guess, and either way, it wasn't his business to share. At least it was  a beautiful day, Campbell thought as he walked to the library. Sunny,  warm but not hot. A good day to go, if he had to pick one. But Dewey  hadn't picked it, and the beauty of the summer morning didn't change  that fact, nor did it change the fact that Grizz was hunched up under  the tree in front of the library. Shaking, crying.

Campbell  didn't say anything. He walked up and sat across from Grizz, keeping his  mouth shut and studying the grass while Grizz pulled himself together.  Grizz would talk, on his own time; pushing would only make things  harder, as could unwelcome touch, even if it was out of comfort. Speech  wasn't something that could just be pried from people who were  panicking, especially not autistic people.

After fifteen  minutes, Grizz let out a shuddering whimper. He ground his wrists  against his eyes and sniffled. Coughed. "I couldn't do it."

"Yeah?"

"She  had us all pick up a gun. We didn't know which had a bullet. I tried  but, we missed the first time and I just couldn't..." Grizz choked on  his words, looking like he was going to retch. "Fuck, how are we  supposed to live with this?"

Campbell thought back on everything  he'd ever done. How did he live with the worst of it? No, he didn't  exactly feel bad about any of it, but he could imagine what it'd be  like, if he did. "I guess you just find some way to justify it, some  explanation that makes it less painful, and hold onto it until things  feel less awful."

"That works?"

"I don't know. Remorse isn't my thing, usually."

Grizz  looked up at him, frowning, but he didn't say anything. Not at first.  "There was graffiti on the wall, before we were brought here. It said  we'd been weighed, and found wanting. It was gone when we got here.  Maybe it was right, whatever it was."

"Huh." Something bothered  Campbell from the back of his mind. A faint memory. Something that felt  connected, but nothing that jumped to mind clearly. Shaking his head,  Campbell shrugged. "Who knows. Maybe. Either way, all I know is that  sometimes shit can't be avoided. All you can do is accept that it  happened, find a reason you can live with, and keep going."

"I just want it to stop hurting."

"I wish I could tell you that it will, but I don't know. It might not. It fucking sucks."

"What would you tell yourself?" Grizz asked. "If it had been you?"

"Probably  something like, we're in a shit situation without the means to keep him  safely contained, and he was a threat. Putting him down would be the  fastest, most surefire way of making sure the rest of the community  would be safe."

"That's not really true."

"You asked me for what I'd tell myself. Not for the truth."

Grizz  leaned back against the tree and stared up at its leaves. There was a  finch up among the branches, whistling an obliviously cheerful tune. "I  couldn't tell Sam about this," he said, eyes fixed on the bird. "I don't  want him to see me falling apart like some kind of weak piece of shit."

The  idea made Campbell laugh, despite the situation. "Have you met my  brother? Yeah, sometimes he can be stubborn, and he can make jokes when  it's not the best time. But he's got a lot of fire and he's  compassionate. He's a good guy. Sam isn't going to think you're weak.  He's going to think you're a good person who was put in a shit position.  Because that's the truth."

They sat there together for a while.  Grizz cried again, softer than before, but he still rocked back and  forth and let out small whimpering noises.

"Is it okay if I hug  you or something?" Campbell asked. It felt strange, just sitting there  while someone fell apart. Grizz shook his head. "Alright. Is there  anything I can do?"

Grizz used a handkerchief to wipe his face.  "Uhm." His cheeks turned a flushed pink. "Could you, I mean, I need to  take my mind of things. Could you help me find a book on sign language?  I'm... I wanna..."

"Say no more. C'mon."

Grizz followed  Campbell into the library. It felt surreal, helping the guy pick out a  book to probably sign-sext Sam, but there was a sincere curiosity and  eagerness to Grizz as they headed towards the language section that  Campbell decided he didn't care. Whatever. The guy had just watched  someone die. But as they walked towards the section, Campbell turned the  plan over in his head. A few times, in fact. By the time they got  there, he knew what he would do.

Campbell grabbed a book on  British Sign Language before Grizz had a chance to look over things  much. "Here. This is the one I used to learn. It's super informative."

"But it says British." Grizz frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. It's pretty much the same thing, just with... you know, British slang."

Grizz  peered at the book as Campbell pushed it into his hands. "Huh. Well,  okay. If you say so. Thanks, Campbell. For being cool about this, I  mean."

"No big deal. You help me, I'll help you."

He  didn't tell Grizz the plan, of course. That was something he'd find out  all on his own, but he'd thank Campbell for it later. They explored the  library a bit more, with Grizz staring down the religion and  spirituality section before shaking his head and leaving. Campbell  didn't ask. He just made sure Grizz got home safe, before heading home  himself. Hopefully, Grizz would just tuck into his room and focus on  learning the wrong type of sign language, and take it easy.

Elle  was sitting on the porch when he got home, getting together some paper,  pens and other stuff. "Hey," she called as he walked up. "I'm heading  over to Becca's house. She's going to help me make missing dog signs  during my work break."

Campbell winced. "I'm sorry he's still gone, babe. Do you need me to come help put them up?"

"No. I've got it."

She  sounded upset, but of course she was upset. Charlie was gone and hadn't  been found. He considered telling her about the blood, but he'd already  lied about it; it'd look bad if he suddenly admitted it had come from  the night Charlie went missing. Besides, he had no clue if the blood was  Charlie's, and Elle didn't need to hear that something-- who knew what,  some unknown dark mass-- probably ate her dog.

"Alright. Have a good day at work. If you change your mind, I'll see you at lunch."

Campbell  kissed Elle's forehead. She gave him a smile and stroked his cheek  before leaving. He watched her go, his own smile falling once she was  out of sight. There had to be something he could do to cheer her up.  First thing was first, though. He went inside and checked in on Harry,  who was snoozing in bed. His forehead felt feverish when Campbell  pressed his hand to it. But he didn't stir, and Campbell didn't want to  wake him. Instead, he grabbed a book from the living room and perched at  the end of Harry's bed, waiting.

It was close to lunch time when  Harry groaned, stretched, and yawned. He blinked sleepily at Campbell,  and Campbell felt his heart ache a centimeter more than before. Harry  sat up and rubbed his eyes, voice groggy. "Hey, Cam. How long have you  been here?"

"A while. You feeling okay?"

"No. I feel like I got hit by a truck."

"Hungry?"

"No."

Standing,  Campbell went to the kitchen and brewed a cup of herbal tea, with a few  scoops of sugar. He brought it back to Harry and held it out. Harry  sighed and sipped the drink. "No caffeine for a bit," Campbell said as  he opened the curtains a touch. "It'll make you more jittery."

"Can  I lie and say I feel great?" Harry asked with mock hope. Campbell gave  him a look, and Harry slumped. "I guess I better get ready for work and  stuff."

"Just brush your teeth and put some shoes on. I'll do your half of the work, I just need you there so I can keep an eye on you."

"But Allie--"

"Can take it out on me if she has a problem with it."

Harry  bit his lip, but he didn't argue. Campbell drove them to lunch so Harry  wouldn't have to stress his body out; Elle joined them out in the  school's courtyard, where it was pleasantly warm and away from the  bright fluorescent lights. Harry picked at his food, but he seemed a  little less haggard, out in the sunlight and with the fresh air. Elle  was quiet and didn't say much.

No one, Campbell realize, was  saying much. Not at lunch, not during cleaning duties before dinner.  Elle had left with Becca-- who hadn't even glanced at Campbell-- to go  hang up the missing dog posters. The house felt heavy, and at work,  everything was the same way. People had cheered for Dewey's arrest, and  some had even cheered for his death sentence, were stone silent.  Campbell kept his head down and mopped the floors, but he wanted to  laugh in their faces. See, he wanted to yell. You think you're so  fucking righteous, but you all have blood on your hands, too. They  thought they were so tough. Now, reality was hitting them right in their  fucking faces.

That evening, after dinner, Allie called a  meeting at the church. "Greg Dewey was put to death at 9am this  morning," she said. Her voice was flat. She didn't look at anyone,  staring straight ahead. "He was buried in the woods without a marker.  There will be no funeral. If you want to mourn him, you can do so among  yourselves."

And then she left, leaving behind a church of  stunned faces, with plenty of shocked whispers among them. Campbell,  Elle, and Harry went home without a word, and that night was the first  time Elle slept in her own room in a long time. He didn't mind the time  alone. There was a lot to think about, to try and process. He thought he  would feel some sort of comfort, some sort of closure, but he felt  nothing. Just a dark hole where Cassandra had been, still, and no real  sense of justice. Just cold practicality, distant and hollow logic that  said it was the right move for survival, and that was it.

Dewey  had deserved to suffer. To live for ages, knowing what he did and be  punished for it. Death wasn't to punish him or get Cassandra some sort  of peace in her rest. It was just to get Dewey out of their hair. And  Campbell knew that, had known that the whole time, but with it over and  done...

His phone buzzed. I love you, the text from Sam read. That was it.

I love you, too, Campbell texted back.

The  message was read, but Sam didn't send anything else. Campbell set the  phone down and tried to go to sleep. He didn't know why Sam had sent  that, or what it or his own reply meant at all, but something about it  felt like an acknowledgment that things were fucked and who knew how  much time any of them had? Maybe that was all it was. Two semi-estranged  souls feeling burdened by the idea of death, and reaching out for some  small scrap of familial affection. Just in case.

For the next  week, the days seemed to drag by but vanish in a blink at the same time.  Everyone seemed to be in their own little bubbles, except for Harry,  who stuck close by Campbell's side. It was hell watching him detox, and  Campbell wondered if he'd been that irritable; one moment, Harry would  be angry and snapping, the next he'd be crying. He slept all the time,  which wasn't too far from normal, but even when Campbell dragged him to  work-- to pretend like he was working-- he'd glaze over like some sort  of robot without batteries.

Elle had withdrawn into her shell.  Campbell didn't know what to do. They weren't fighting, but her smiles  were forced and when she laughed or acted interested in anything going  on, Campbell could tell it was fake. He knew that sort of mask all too  well. But what could he do? He didn't even know for sure what was wrong.  If he didn't know any better, he'd think it was something he'd done.  Maybe it was, but he'd been on his best behavior. What was he missing?

Allie  arrived at the house one day when Campbell was sipping coffee on the  front steps, pondering that exact question. "I heard Harry hasn't been  working," she said, staring past him at the house door. "Can I talk to  him?"

"He's sleeping. You can talk to me."

"Campbell, you know the rules. You don't work, you don't eat."

Campbell  shrugged. "Fine. I've taken over his shifts until he feels better. If  I'm doing twice the work, I get twice the food. No problem."

"Christ. What's going on with him?"

"He's detoxing. Gave up the drugs and the booze cold turkey."

"Really?"

"Is it really that surprising?"

"I  guess I just never thought..." Allie rolled her eyes, then looked  Campbell over. "Alright, fine. Have it your way. Twice the work, twice  the food. I don't care what you do with it. How long does he need?"

"Assuming my research is right, about another week. Week and a half."

"He's got two weeks. If he needs longer, then he needs to come see me."

"Thanks." Hesitating a moment, Campbell called out to Allie as she started to walk away. "Hey, Allie? Can I ask you something?"

Allie sighed, but stopped. "What's up?"

"Do you know if something happened with Elle? She's been acting kinda strange lately."

"I don't know. She's been hanging out with Helena and Becca a lot. Ask them."

"Well,  I would, be Helena wants me to burn in Hell and Becca hasn't spoken to  me in forever. Makes things a little difficult, doesn't it?"

"Really?" Furrowing her eyebrows, Allie took a few steps back towards Campbell. "You guys used to be friends, didn't you?"

"Kinda. But then..." Careful. "Life happened, I guess, and she won't even look at me anymore. No clue why."

The  look on Allie's face shifted, and for a moment Campbell thought she was  going to ask something, but then she shook her head. "I'll ask Sam to  talk to her. You and him are on speaking terms again, yeah?"

"Yeah. Mostly."

"Good."

That  sounded almost genuine. Maybe it was. Who knew. Allie walked off, and  Campbell finished his coffee in peace. The mystery only deepened as the  day went on, and Sam texted him, asking to meet. Elle was at work, so  Campbell dragged a weary Harry along to the coffee shop where his  brother was waiting. Sam gave Harry a skeptical look, but Harry tucked  himself into a corner in the back with a book and one of Campbell's  hoodies draped over his shoulders. He wasn't going to be paying  attention.

"How have you been?" Campbell asked. "Since everything."

"Tired. Sad. Worried."

"Worried?"

Sam  shook his head and gave a helpless sort of shrug. "About how it will  change things. How it will change us. But I think Allie is taking it  harder than most of us. She had to take over for Grizz."

Now, that was something Campbell hadn't known. "Yikes. No wonder she's tense."

"Everyone seems tense. Allie told me you're having troubles with Elle?"

"Maybe,  I don't know. I'm glad she's got some friends now, but lately she's  been hanging out with Becca more. She found a dog wandering loose, and  then he disappeared right around the time all this Dewey shit started.  Maybe it's just that."

"Maybe. That's rough."

"It is."  Campbell noticed a hint of... something in Sam's eyes, though. "Do you  know if Becca has anything against me? We got along okay, but she treats  me like I've got some sort of contagious disease these days."

Pursing  his lips together, Sam glanced to where Harry was curled up. Harry was  still ignoring them, but Sam switched to signing only. "I want to ask  you something, but you have to promise to tell me the truth."

"I could lie about promising," Campbell signed back, also going into silent mode. "But sure. I promise."

"Did you and Becca ever sleep together?"

"What? Hell no. Elle's the only person I've slept with."

"That's what I thought, but..."

"But?"

A long, long pause. "Promise you won't say anything, not even to Elle? Or Harry?"

"Dude, still the same problem there."

"Campbell."

"Okay, okay. What's going on?"

"Becca's..."  Sam hesitated. "I asked Becca about someone she slept with, and she got  angry with me. She told me to never ask her again. I assumed it was  you, because I don't know why else she wouldn't tell me."

Campbell  felt dizzy, in a way, as he processed the information. Was it possible  Becca associated him with that night, and just didn't want to remember?  Or, worse, that she thought he had been responsible? Either way, he had  no idea what Becca had confessed to Sam, so best to stay vague. "I know  about the party where she met them, but it wasn't me. We just went  together."

"She never told me about that. You don't know who it was?"

"No. Sorry."

"It's okay. Do you want me to talk to Becca for you?"

"No, no, I don't want to bother her, especially if she's angry at me over something. I'll see if Elle will just talk to me."

Sam  nodded. He messed with the salt and pepper shakers on the table. Empty  now, their contents taken by Will and his crew to use in the communal  kitchen. "Was that all you wanted to talk about?"

The answer was  yes. Campbell hadn't planned on talking about anything else. Yet now  that he was there, sitting across from Sam and actually talking about  things rather than arguing or blaming or whatever, Campbell considered  that maybe it was also time to extend another olive branch. A bigger,  better one. "Actually, I was thinking we could go to the arcade on our  next day off. Like we used to."

"Really?" Sam sat up a little straighter. "You want to?"

"Yeah, of course. If you want to."

"I'd like that."

They  settled on a day and time, and went their separate ways; it was easier  than Campbell had expected. No questions, no suspicion. Just a glint of  hope. Campbell was starting to think that maybe Sam really did care  about him. Maybe he always had. He'd known that his own feelings had  been impacted by his parents, but was the same true for Sam? Did their  relationships with their parents really color the relationship between  them so much? It seemed hard to believe, but maybe it was true, and it  had just taken a few doses of tragedy to bridge that gap.

Unfortunately,  those tragedies seemed to have broken something between Campbell and  Elle. She smiled, she laughed at his shitty jokes, and she accepted his  affection, but there was a stiffness to it. It was forced. Once lunch  was over and Elle had gone home to rest, Campbell popped back into the  cafeteria. Elaine was working. They weren't as close as before, but she  still seemed welcoming when he approached. That was a good sign.

"Hey," Campbell said with as charming of a smile as he could muster. "Could I ask you for a favor?"

Elaine tilted her head. "You can, doesn't mean I'll agree. What's up?"

"I  was hoping to make my girlfriend a dinner at home tonight. You know,  just me and her. Something special. I just need a jar of like, alfredo  sauce and some garlic bread."

"That's cute. I'll have to ask Will, though."

Oh, god. "Okay."

Shuffling  into the back, Elaine vanished, and a few minutes later Will came out  instead. He looked neutral, but Campbell braced for a fight. "Elaine  said you asked for some extra ingredients. You know we're not supposed  to give out food for people to use at home."

"I know. Maybe I can  bring in some other supplies to trade, at breakfast? You guys probably  need band aids and stuff like that, yeah?"

Will narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, we could use some. Are you sure you wanna do that?"

"I'm sure," Campbell replied. "Elle's important to me. I want to do something nice for her."

"I can give you a jar of sauce, and a few slices of texas toast we've got. You got a box of band aids we can have?"

A  small price for what Campbell was hoping to accomplish. Maybe Elle just  needed a pick-me-up, something to remind her that he cared. The next  night, Harry took Elle out with the excuse of getting some fresh air  while Campbell quickly set the dining room table. Nice glasses,  sparkling cider his parents had kept around for the 4th of July,  candlelight. He salted the pasta water, drained it when it was al dente,  and added the sauce to the pot with a bit of pasta water and dried  herbs. He mixed in some canned mushrooms and a bit of pan-fried frozen  chicken, heated the bread, and got it plated just as the two came back  from the walk.

"Oh?" Elle peeked into the dining room. "What's this?"

Campbell  took her hand and kissed it as Harry darted into his room, flashing  Campbell a thumbs up behind Elle's back. "I thought we could stay home  tonight, babe. Will traded me a few things so I could make dinner here,  just the two of us. I remembered that you liked Italian food, so..."

Elle stretched up on her tippy toes and kissed him. "It looks amazing. Thank you."

And  it was amazing, for the first half of dinner. Campbell hated small  talk, but Elle was quieter than usual, and if there was ever a time to  sort things out... well, maybe it wasn't then, but he was tired of  waiting. "How have you been doing?" he asked. "I feel like we haven't  really talked lately."

"Oh! Well, I've mostly just been working  and helping out some people around town. Some people are talking about  setting up classes and workshops to give people things to focus on. I  was thinking about reviving movie night."

"That sounds like a good idea. We could all use the distraction."

"Yeah." Elle glanced up from her plate. "There haven't been any leads on Charlie, though. Have you heard anything?"

"Sorry, babe. I haven't heard anything, either."

"And you're sure you don't know what happened to him?"

Campbell  gripped his fork tighter as his jaw clenched. Peaceful thoughts,  peaceful thoughts. Maybe she didn't mean anything by it. "What do you  mean?"

"I was talking to Becca, and--"

"She told you what Sam said?"

"Sure. Yeah."

"Elle,  that's..." He stopped and rubbed his face. Even now, even with her, it  was all too easy for his brain to go into that space where everyone was a  threat and he had to attack to defend himself. This time, he managed to  cut himself off before anything snappish came out his mouth. "I've  fucked up a lot, and some people in town hate me for a decent reasons.  Kelly, Allie. I was mean to them. But Becca's different."

"Different how?"

"I  never did anything to Becca, but she hates me, too. Maybe it's because  of me and Sam not getting along. I don't know. But whatever she said I  did, it's not true."

"Alright. I'm sorry I said anything. I should have known."

"Hey."  Campbell stood up and walked to her side of the table, kneeling on the  floor next to her and taking her hand in his own. "No, it's okay. I'm  not mad at you or Sam or Becca. I just wanted to set the record  straight, you know? It's better to just get it out in the open."

Elle  nodded, but she was still staring down at her plate. "Yeah, it is. I  guess I just..." She trailed off, finally looking to him. "This place is  doing things to people. Showing them for who they are, maybe. It scares  me."

"It's scary shit. But we still have each other, right?"

"Right."

Campbell  knew, deep down, it wasn't that simple. Elle began sleeping with him  again-- both in the literally and euphemistic sense-- but there was a  sadness in her eyes that never quite seemed to fade, even on their best  days. She was afraid, and his presence wasn't changing that. He couldn't  blame her. He knew that there was no way he could be at her side every  moment of every day, and even if he was, he wasn't bulletproof. Still,  he refused to stop trying.

He kept seeing Grizz a couple times a  week. Usually they would just talk. Vent. Grizz found some papers he had  on something called EMDR, and suggested they try it. "It seems to help  with stuff like PTSD."

"I don't have PTSD."

"You don't think so?"

"I'm not a war vet, Grizz. I haven't been through anything bad enough for that."

Grizz  gave Campbell the look he always gave Campbell when he knew Campbell  was trying to avoid a topic, and thought it was bullshit. It was one  thing Campbell admired about Grizz-- he didn't hide his opinion. "You  don't have to be a war vet. You know that. It's actually the least  common cause for PTSD. Physical assault, sexual trauma, and sexual  assault are the top three causes."

"Yeah, okay. I get the point."

"Do you? Do you know what the fourth leading cause is?"

"I know you're gonna tell me either way."

"Sudden  death of a loved one." Grizz lowered his voice and leaned forward,  making direct eye contact for the first time since they' bee having  meetings. "You were the one who first found her body, weren't you?"

Campbell met his eyes and felt goosebumps rise up on his arms. "How do you know that? I never told you."

"It doesn't really matter, because I know you didn't hurt her. Here's the papers."

Just  to end the conversation, Campbell snatched the paper folder from Grizz  and hid in the corner of the library. He didn't want to have to think  about what Grizz said, not for a long time, if ever. It wasn't some  miracle cure, but Grizz figured out a sort of at-home way to do it, and  Campbell did feel better. Calmer. In return, he helped Grizz practice  his BSL, even if Campbell knew it wouldn't work with Sam. It wasn't  entirely useless. Learning a new language was beneficial, and Grizz was  proud of his improvements; Campbell enjoyed the interaction, so really,  it was a win/win.

Harry stayed clean, though as summer passed by  and melded into fall, Campbell could tell that the depression was  getting worse. It wasn't too much of a surprise. Depression didn't just  go away, even with treatment, and getting sober made everything more  difficult. It had been a coping mechanism, and now Harry didn't have  that to lean on. Campbell taught him some of what he'd learned from  Cassandra and Grizz; it seemed to help, but the situation they were in  just kept punching a lot of people down. Harry needed to rest, but he'd  been dragged back to work once the two weeks had been up. To make  matters worse, the work schedules hadn't been rotated since Dewey's  execution.

"I brought it up to her," Sam said during one of their  now-weekly get togethers. "But she just isn't listening. You know  Allie. She has her opinions."

"Runs in the family. I don't get it, though. If she's so worried about people revolting against her, why is she doing this?"

Sam  lifted his shoulders in a big shrug. "I have no idea. She gave me a job  at the library, and told me I could stay there as long as I wanted.  She's done the same for a few other people. Given them stable jobs.  Maybe she feels like that's what's best for everyone, now."

"Yeah, except she didn't ask anyone."

"She doesn't have to."

And  that was that, in the end. Allie didn't have to justify or explain her  choices to anyone. It was her rules now. It was her society. They were  all just living in it, despite what she may have said during the  mandatory town meetings. Campbell kept his fingers on the pulse of the  community as best as he could, making notes of who was pissed,  frustrated, complaining. He wouldn't give it over to the guard or to  Allie, but it was good to keep track of the undercurrent of the river  they were all standing in. And it was getting rough.

There was a small reprieve during October.

"I  guess Blake, Clark, and some of the goth kids are getting a Halloween  thing together at the end of the month," Elle said one day when she came  home from work. "Do you wanna go?"

Campbell looked up from the dishes he was washing. "Hey. Sure, that sounds like a good time. When is it going to be?"

"Five in the evening. I guess there's gonna be a trick-or-treat event after dark."

"Nice. That should be fun."

"Do you want to do the costume thing?"

"I don't know. How about you?"

Elle  perched on the counter next to him, lightly kicking her legs. "It could  be fun. We don't have to do anything complicated. We could ask Harry  and Sam and a few other people to come with us, maybe?"

Other  people was vague, but she sounded so tentative that he didn't want to  press her about it. "Sure. Halloween's kind of better in a group, right?  Maybe tomorrow we can go through our stuff and figure out costume  ideas."

"Sure. That'd be nice."

And it was. They didn't  have anything super elaborate to work with, but it was fun to paw  through their closets and figure something out together. They didn't  have much luck at first, but Elle's smile was a bit warmer than it had  been in a while. Maybe things were going to be okay between them, after  all. She held his hand when they went to movie night together, and ended  up leaning against him; she and the others involved had decided every  week in October would be a different horror movie, which seemed like  both the best and worst idea.

It was a double feature night,  with Rocky Horror Picture Show and Bela Lugosi's Dracula. Harry had  decided to come with them, unlike the previous week's Creature from the  Black Lagoon. Harry ended up falling asleep on his shoulder twenty  minutes into the second movie. Once the movie was over, Campbell and  Harry helped Elle clean up; Elle and Campbell had just taken out the  last bag of trash when Elle curled her arms around his waist in a hug.

"Hey,"  she said as she nuzzled his shoulder. "I got a costume idea. We could  always go as Mina and Dracula. Classic. I could wear my nice white dress  my mom got me for my birthday this year."

"The one with the lace hem?"

"You remember."

"Of course. You wore it for Easter. It's amazing on you."

She let out a pleased hum. "Do you really like the idea?"

"I do," Campbell affirmed. "Vampires are still in, aren't they?"

"Always."

Even  with something to look forward to, the time dragged a little, but it  gave Campbell a touch of excitement for the near future. The three of  them managed to sneak some Halloween decorations, not something his  parents had really allowed, and make the house appropriately festive. He  and Harry got in a light argument over whether Nightmare Before  Christmas was a Halloween or Christmas movie. The week before the  Halloween events, Will revealed that there were pumpkins available for  decorating.

Sam showed up with a few, looking hopeful. "I thought we could carve them together," he signed, "since we never have before."

And  how could Campbell say no? They sat on the back porch, and Elle joined  them with a pitcher of hot, spiced tea. It was sunny and perfect weather  for it. Sam didn't eye him for wielding a knife, which was a bonus.  Campbell sliced the pumpkins open and dug out the seeds. "There. I'll  have to find some tea candles for when they're done."

Harry sat  nearby, picking the seeds out of the orange goop. "These can be roasted  later," he said. He wrinkled his nose as he grabbed a handful. "Even if  it look like something you'd find growing under a bridge."

Sam  signed something, and Harry glanced at Campbell, unsure. Campbell  chuckled. "He said we might have to forage under bridges if things get  bad."

"Oh, geeze." Harry turned his eyes back to Sam. "Better have Grizz teach us about mushrooms."

Blushing,  Sam nodded and focused on his pumpkin. He made a sort of howling wolf  face, while Elle made a cat, and Campbell and Harry stuck to more  traditional jack o' lantern faces. As it turned out, all carved pumpkins  were destined to be decorations at the Halloween Eve festival that had  been planned; Grizz came around to pick them up the day before, spending  a few minutes talking to Sam, who had come by again to make roasted  pumpkin seeds.

Campbell waited until Grizz was gone before nudging Sam. "When are you gonna go for it? It's been months."

"He hasn't made any sort of move at all. Are you even sure he likes me?"

"Have you made a move?"

He  didn't push the issue when Sam kept quiet. It wasn't really Campbell's  business, and his relationship with Sam was just beginning to bloom into  something that actually resembled a brotherhood. The lovebirds would  come together on their own, eventually, or they wouldn't. Still, it was  nice to think maybe Sam wouldn't be alone forever, after all. It was  something he'd always worried about, ever since that priest put it in  his head after Sam had come out.

At least Grizz was part of the  group that gathered together to go to the Halloween events. Campbell  dressed in black jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black leather jacket;  he'd managed to barter high-quality custom fangs from Elaine, and of  course, Elle looked effortlessly beautiful in her white dress and pale  make-up. The three of them met the others in front of the school. It was  mostly Sam and Allie's friend group, but Campbell was determined to  play nice, even though Will, Luke, and Gordie were giving him wary  looks, and Becca outright ignored him. There was a tension between her  and Sam. Campbell assumed there must have been an argument. Regardless  of what happened, they all plastered smiles on their faces and greeted  each other.

Allie raised her eyebrows at Harry. "Dude, what's your costume?"

Harry  stood there in boxers, a tank top, and moose slippers with a five day  shadow and an unopened package of Top Ramen in his hands. Without  missing a beat, he gestured to himself with it and shrugged. "I'm a  Millennial.

"Ah. The scariest urban legend."

Bean gave Harry a concerned look. "Aren't you gonna be cold like that?"

"Not with the increasing effects of global warming, I won't."

Most  of them chuckled. It was an uneasy sound that came with knowing they  might not actually survive long enough to worry about that sort of thing  anymore. Food. Warmth over the winter. Sickness. Student loan debt and  rising sea levels seemed like such a distant problem, in their new town.

The  big event distracted them, anyways. There were a few different  activities going on. In one area, there was a big barrel where people  were bobbing for apples, provided by someone who was lucky enough to  have an apple tree in their yard. Blake and a few theater kids were  doing face painting, and Clark had offered up his pick-up truck for  rides along the more picturesque parts of town. All the carved pumpkins  were scattered around with candles, and people had gathered up bags of  leaves to scatter around the field. A little ways out, there was a  bonfire going, where people were serving cups of hot cider, and roasting  hot dogs and marshmallows. Someone had brought a speaker system, and  cheesy Halloween music filled the air along with the smells of wood  smoke, caramelized sugar, and spices.

A solid half of the group  got their faces painted, and after seeing how cute it was, Allie gave  in, too. Campbell politely declined, as did Luke, Helena, and Harry.  Surprising Campbell, Harry decided to bob for apples; he looked like a  soggy dog when he came back up, but he did have an apple and won that  round. He winked at Campbell when no one was looking, and Campbell  rolled his eyes. Show off, even when it was apple bobbing.

"I  guess they converted the school into a haunted house," Kelly said after  they'd gotten cider and snacks at the bonfire. "Wanna go, anyone?"

Everyone  agreed, except for Becca, who's eyes were pointedly on Campbell when  she refused. "No thanks, I'm a little tired. I'll just stay here by the  fire."

Sam signed to her. "We'll come get you in a little bit."

"Okay. Have fun."

Campbell  started to leave with the group, but then paused. He waited until they  were a ways away before turning back to Becca. "Look, I don't want a  fight, but you clearly are pissed off at me for some reason." He didn't  want to bring up what Sam said. "I don't understand why."

"Really?" Becca glowered at him. "You're playing that card?"

"What card? One day we're kinda friends, and when I took you home after what happened at Harry's party, you just--"

"Fuck you, Campbell."

"Becca, just tell me what I did. I can try to fix it or something."

Standing  up, Becca raised her voice until she was practically yelling. "Fix it?  You can't fix what you did to me! How dare you? Maybe you've got Sam and  Allie and Grizz fooled, but not me. I know what you did. And one of  these days, so will everyone else, and you'll get what you deserve."

"So  you think I did it." Campbell had suspected, but it still felt like  someone had kicked him in the gut. "Becca, I don't know what you  remember, but I didn't do it. I found you, and I helped you get home.  That was it."

"Leave me the fuck alone! Get away from me!"

People  were starting to stare. Campbell opened his mouth, shut it again, and  turned to follow after everyone else. He froze when he saw that Elle was  standing not too far away; she had stopped when she'd noticed Campbell  wasn't with them, probably, and now she was looking at him with a look  that chilled even him.

Campbell approached her, slow and with care. "Babe, I don't know what you heard, but--"

"We should catch up with the others."

"Elle."

"Please. Not now."

Clenching  his teeth, Campbell followed silently behind Elle as she made her way  to the school. No, he wanted to shout. No, we're not leaving it like  this. You have to listen to me, you have to believe me. But if Campbell  were Elle, he knew he wouldn't believe him, either. Becca was a  straightforward, no bullshit kind of person. Honest, with a spotless  record, and she was well-liked. She was Sam's friend since childhood.  She'd never been Campbell's friend, really, but they knew each other.  He'd had opportunity. It didn't look good, and if it got out, how would  he be able to defend himself? How could he fight that, without hurting  Becca?

He didn't know. All he knew was that the rest of the night  was a blur, and by the time they all got home, the evening was  thoroughly ruined. Harry kept his mouth shut and hid in his room; he  could sense there was a storm brewing, and Campbell didn't blame him for  wanting nothing to do with it. Elle fled upstairs. Campbell gave her a  few minutes, and then went up. She was sitting in her own bathroom,  staring at the mirror. It looked like she'd planned to take her make up  off, but she hadn't started yet. Elle just... stared at her reflection.

"Babe?" Campbell called softly. "Can we talk?"

"Is she telling the truth?"

The cutting, dangerous edge to Elle's voice was enough to make Campbell swallow. Hard. "How do you mean that, exactly?"

"You know what I mean."

"No, I don't. Do you mean about being attacked, or it being me who did it?"

"Did you rape Becca?"

"Jesus,  Elle." Running his hand through his hair, Campbell sat down on the  floor just outside the bathroom. "No. I didn't rape her."

"So she's lying?"

"I'm  not saying she's lying. She was attacked at a party Harry threw with  the football team and some college assholes from outside of town. We  went together as friends, I lost sight of her, and when I found her it  had already happened. I made sure she got home, but she was pretty out  of it. She refuse to go to the hospital and she told me not to tell  anyone. The next day, she blocked my number and hasn't spoken to me  since. I believe that she thinks it was me, but it wasn't."

Elle  was watching him in the mirror, expression completely closed off and  eyes blank. "You know how this looks, right? You know how many guys say  it wasn't them when they get accused."

"I know, and I know that  ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the victim is right. I'm not saying  Becca wasn't attacked. Hell, I understand why she thinks it's me. Trust  me, if I could find the dirtbag who hurt her, I'd rip their fucking head  off. But I don't know who it was. I just know it wasn't me."

Turning  on the sink, Elle began to remove her make up. She didn't speak. She  didn't look at him. He didn't try and make her. They just both sat there  in their own thoughts. Campbell knew that she was going to leave. It  was all too much, and he knew that. His shitty temper, his moodiness,  what happened with Sam and then Cassandra, Charlie vanishing, and now  this. Even if he didn't or hadn't done everything he was accused of,  Campbell knew he was difficult to deal with, and he knew he'd done  enough to be suspect. Why would she stay with someone like him?

"I need a night to just clear my head, I think," Elle finally said. She frowned and fiddled with her hair. "Is that okay?"

"Of course. Take the time you need."

"Thank you. Goodnight, Campbell."

He  stood and went to his room. Elle shut the door behind him, and the  sound of the lock to her door clicking shut sounded a lot like the sound  of his heart cracking. He paced his room for a while, after that. Elle  was just scared. It made sense. He loved her, and she must have loved  him too, otherwise she'd have left long ago. Maybe he could talk with  Sam and see if Becca would talk to him. Hear him out, in a quieter  environment with Sam or someone else there to help her feel safe. Maybe  if Campbell explained what he remembered, it would help her, too. But  what if it didn't? What if it made things worse, or Elle left before  then, or left anyways?

Crawling into bed, Campbell sighed. Happy  fucking Halloween. His gaze moved to the clock by his bed. Well, not  Halloween anymore. It was a little past midnight. It was November 1st.  Almost winter. A bad time to find one's self isolated. His bed felt  cold, he felt cold, and something in him felt... off, detached,  shivering and alone, even with other people in the same house. It had  been a while since he'd felt that way. Best to get used to it. Things  were only going to get colder. Literally and metaphorically, it seemed.  But Harry still looked at him warmly. Grizz was a friend. And Sam. Sam  was there for him, too, maybe.

Campbell closed his eyes. He just had to take his own advice.

Find a reason, and keep going.

#the society #the society netflix #the society fanfiction #the society netflix fanfiction #the society fanfic #the society netflix fanfic #the society fic #the society netflix fic #fanfiction #fanfic #fic #writing #campbell eliot #sam eliot #harry bingham #elle tomkins #allie pressman #grizz visser #wroughtwriting #cw: minor character death

[themoonandotherslikeit]

The Hand That Reaches for God -Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

“There are feelings you will never find words for; you will learn to name them after the ones who gave them to you.” – Maza Dohta

-30 Days After-

Being with Dean didn’t erase what Gordon did, no one could do that, but the way he was looking at her helped. That glint in his eyes and shadow of a smile on the corner of his lips dulled that pain that lingered. He made her stomach flip with the possibilities that he held behind his gentle green eyes. It made her dizzy. As their fingers laced together, she thought that maybe, just maybe things would be okay.

She had no idea how wrong she was.

Thunder interrupted their gentle embrace, causing the ground to pulse beneath them. “Dean?” Emerson murmured, her eyes wide as her head turned up to spot the deep burn marks that were streaking down the sides of the tent from the rain.

“Shit,” he said, immediately shuffling to his feet. “Let’s get your stuff, we’ve gotta go.”

She stood up and grabbed her own bag, tossing Dean Pheli’s. They were already packed up. Ever since Gordon attacked her, Em was ready to run. Most of the time she still slept in her boots. “What are we going to do about the rain?”

“Here,” Dean said, grabbing the blankets from the twins bed pads and wrapped them around Emerson.

“What about you?” She looked at him. He wore his flannel shirt with the sleeves pushed up. He didn’t exactly look protected.

He rolled down the sleeves and buttoned it up to his neck. “I’ll manage. Let’s go.”

“No fucking way.”

“Listen,” Dean said, grabbing her shoulders gently to make her look at him. His cheeks were flushed under his freckles, and his lips were pulled tightly over his teeth. He looked serious. He looked afraid. “We don’t have time to argue. You trust me?”

“I don’t want you to get hurt,” she said, touching his cheek. They were together, which meant she had to trust him. She owed him that. “But, yeah, I do.”

“I’ll guide you. Stay under the blanket. We are getting Phel and Sam, and we will find cover.” He put the blankets over her head, and his hand rested on her lower back. “Ready?”

“Ready.”

-2 Years Before-

“Ready?”

“No,” Dean grunted. He was gripping two bars on either side of him. His knee was in some kind of metal and fabric contraption, and he hadn’t walked in months. Physical therapy was the bane of his existence. It was the last fucking place he wanted to be. His therapists name was Anna and with her red flowing hair and quick retorts, he often couldn’t look at her without seeing Charlie. Charlie smiling and telling jokes, then Charlie in pieces strewn around him, which usually sent him into a panic attack. He would fall over, sweating, weeping, his heart rate pounding in his ears like an explosive blast echoing through the desert.

“Whenever you’re ready, Dean. I cleared my schedule.”

“Why would you do that?” He gritted his teeth, still avoiding Anna’s face. He could see her scrubs and white tennis shoes, tapping impatiently.

“Because I know you like to stall and run into my next appointment. Now you can’t do that. You’re my last one of the day.”

“But don’t you want to go home eventually?” He groaned, his arms already shaking from having to hold himself up. He was so fucking weak, and the reminder had his eyes stinging.

“Go home to who?” He watched her knees lower as she squatted down so her face could meet his. “I’m here to help you. Being in the hospital is miserable. You’re punishing yourself. I can see that. It won’t get better until you let yourself heal. It’s one step at a time, you just have to start.”

“God you’re really preaching, ain’t ya?” He wanted to spit at her. He wanted to hug her. “As if you know what it’s like.”

“It’s my job to know.”

“Well you better start working a little harder on that, Sweetheart.” He said it like an insult, like venom.

“You want to be mad at me? That’s fine.” Anna stood up, crossing her arms. “Be mad. Be pissed. Just come over here and say it to my face.”

He couldn’t. He couldn’t look at her. He couldn’t walk over there. He just wanted to be left alone to atrophy in the dark. He didn’t talk about the dark thoughts that danced behind his eyes, the insomnia that kept him up at night. He didn’t talk about the nightmares that followed him even when he was awake.

“Don’t be a coward, Winchester. You’re better than that.”

“You don’t know me,” he snapped, his eyes finally up level with hers. “You don’t know that I’m better.”

“I know what the people who visit you say when you turn them away. Your brother? The pretty blonde? Your old platoon? They all tell a lot of stories about the kind of man that you are.”

“Shut up.”

“Make me,” Anna challenged, her eyes narrowed in on him. “Show me the truth, Dean.”

She was touching a live wire, poking a nerve. He hadn’t slept past a nap in over a week. They were weaning him off of the pain medicine to keep him from being addicted. He was awake. He was in pain, and he was fucking pissed off.

“God, shut up will you? I can’t stand it. I can’t fucking stand it!”

“Bradbury! Bradbury, shit, fuck. I can’t see! Call out to me! Charlie!”

His chest hurt and he wanted to hit something. He wanted to punch and scream, break his fingers, and seep into the ground where no one could find him again. His whole life he stayed alive for Sam, but in that moment he felt so fundamentally broken that he didn’t see the point. There was no meaning him. Sometimes something was so unrepairable that it’s better, more humane, to just leave it that way. He just wanted to be left alone.

“Then you don’t want to read this?” Anna pulled out a piece of paper, folded in half twice.

“What the fuck is that?” He asked, a bead of sweat rolling from between his eyebrows, down the bridge of his nose and into his mouth.

“The blonde left it the last time she tried to check in.”

Dean frowned and let out a ragged breath. His fingers curling around the bars tightly. He tried to catch his breath, to not collapse right there. “No, I don’t want to see that.” She was the last person he wanted to hear from. He didn’t want to see her, hear from her. He didn’t want her pity.

“You don’t want to hear this?” Anna challenged, unfolding the page. “Dear Dean, leaving you laying in that hospital bed may have been the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

“Stop it,” he grunted, his head turning up just to catch a flash of her red hair. His eyes brimmed with tears.

“I know that you are hurting. You’re hurting in a way that I can’t possibly understand, but I just need you to know.”

“I said fucking stop!”

Anna went straight to Dean to be there if he fell. He didn’t even notice, he was too focused on the letter, on the words, her words, that he didn’t feel himself take a step. “You’re doing great, come on Dean, lets make it to the end of the bars. You got this.” He stumbled forward, his leg giving out. Anna caught him, her hands in his. He could feel Emerson’s letter crush between their clasped hands.

A tear rolled down his cheek as white hot pain rushed through him, but it wasn’t the pain from his knee, it was something else altogether.

-30 Days After-

Dean and Emerson exited the tent in a sprint. His hand was on her back guiding her. It took everything in him to focus forward and not cry out from the rain pelting onto his skin, sizzling in his hair, melting through his flannel. He put an arm up to cover his eyes, because the last thing he needed was to be blindduring the damn apocalypse.

His hands curled into the blankets covering her back and he hoped to hell that the layers were enough to protect her, as the speckles of deep red rain left droplet sized burns on his fist. His foot landed in a hole, his knee twisting. Pain rushed up his leg right into his gut, but he didn’t stop. He couldn’t stop. Not while she was on the line. Not after all the pain she already had to shoulder alone.

“Dean?”

He heard Emerson like she was caught on a breeze, stifled by the storm. She was under his fingers, but his head and skin were buzzing. Like always, he felt like he was too far away. He was always too far away.

The world was red. It was the color of the rose he handed Emerson at homecoming.  “Fine, but this isn’t a date. We are going for our siblings.” The color of her dress as she danced with him, their hands brushing. “Why aren’t you always like this?” It was the color of his moms apron as she puttered around the kitchen, trying to make use of herself by pretending she cooked the Kentucky Fried Chicken herself. “I’m not good at this, but you always have something to eat. Don’t you?” It was the color of Charlie’s hair. The wisps that caught in the breeze that escaped her cap. “Sargent Winchester, you can’t lie to me. I’ve seen that look before.” It was the color of blood. Blood pooling under her missing limbs. Blood dripping out of his mouth after his fathers fist connected with his teeth. “You’re no son of mine.” Blood on Emersons bedroll After Gordon attacked her.

Everything was red, and Deans run was slowing. The tent felt so far away, and his head was spinning. Just as he was losing his footing, he felt an arm slide under him. Emerson had flung her blankets over his shoulders as she supported him on his. Her arm was out of the blankets now, as she met his eyes under the blanket. Red liquid rolled down his cheek. She reached up and wiped it without a wince. “There’s room for both of us. We aren’t doing this Titanic, shit, Dean. We will end better than them.”

And they went forward with gritted teeth and squinting eyes. They fell into the Winchester’s tent, having used up all their energy running and fighting the pain that radiated through their skin. Emerson threw off the blanket immediately and rolled Dean over to his back. She pulled his head into her lap. He was barely conscious, but he could see Sam, Pheli, and Emerson’s face in the red haze. “Sweetheart, I think I’ve got a thing for ya.”

Emerson blinked a tear out of her eye and pressed her lip together. “You do, Dean. It’s a big thing.”

“We are running out of time,” Sam said anxiously. “It’s not safe.”

“He’s hurt,” Em said, her voice far away. “I don’t know if we can move him.”

“We don’t have a choice. Get ready.”

-17 Years Before-

“Get ready!” Mr. Maklen said as he pushed a six year old Emerson on her bike. Dean was sitting on his porch and eating a popsicle just watching her.

She petaled hard, her blonde pigtails poking out of her lopsided helmet. She was all elbows and knees, leaning forward with her tongue between her teeth as she focused.

The Maklen sisters were annoying at best. They were in first grade with Sammy and he always got flustered when they were around. “They’re just girls, who cares?” Dean never understood. Girls were the same as boys, except they cried more and never wanted to get dirty.

There was something different, though, about Emerson with her scuffed knees and serious expression. She had no training wheels and Mr. Maklen released her, even though she’d been repeating don’t let go, don’t let go, don’t let go like it was her mantra, like a battle cry. All Dean could think was, she trusted him. Fathers weren’t supposed to break their children’s trust, he knew. But they still did. He knew that, too.

She pedaled down the road, zipping along the gravel. She wasn’t wobbling, or afraid. She looked good, brave even. Dean grinned at her, moments away from cheering her on, when the front wheel of her bike hit a patch of sand, sending her skittering to the ground. The bike slid out from underneath her, the right side of her body scraping against the asphalt.

Before Dean knew what he was doing he was running to her, his popsicle left behind in the yard. “Em, are you okay?” He fell to his knees next to her, staring at her with wide eyes.

Her face was in the sand, one of her pigtails hung limply where the pink scrunchie was falling out of her hair. She propped herself up on her elbows and spit out some blood before turning to him with a wide, newly toothless grin. “What do you want?”

He looked at Emerson, completely enamored, his mouth hanging open. “I saw you fall.”

“Yeah, so?” She asked, wiping her bloody saliva with the back of her hand. Her brown eyes glistened in the sunlight, with small flecks of gold.

The corners of Dean’s mouth tugged, pulling his lips into a wide grin. She got up and wiped the rocks off her knees and hopped on her bike, leaving her small front tooth behind in the dirt. Emerson Maklen was officially the coolest person that Dean had ever met, you know, for a six year old.

-30 Days After-

Emerson let Dean rest in her lap, his eyes had flickered closed, and her fingers were resting on his pulse point. His heartbeat was a little quick, but he seemed stable. “It’s okay, Dean. I’ve got you.” I can be strong enough for the both of us, she thought. It was the least she could do, since he was always doing It for her. Her own skin ached and tingled, but her time in the rain was a fraction from his.

Sam pulled out their protective gear, gloves, jackets, and gas masks. Pheli slid into her long pants and stuffed them into her boots. “Em, you need to get ready.”

Emerson’s eyes didn’t leave Deans resting face. “What if...”

“No, we aren’t doing that,” Pheli said, putting her hand on her sisters shoulder. “No fucking way, okay?”

Em pressed her lips together and nodded. “Okay, you’re right.” She reaches down and placed a kiss in his hair, before whispering against his ear. “Dean Winchester, I swear to whatever god is listening that if you leave me when we are just getting started, I will never forgive you.”

His eyes fluttered open, and he smiled just a little bit. “Think you’ve got a thing for me too, Maklen.”

“Shut up.”

She smiled and she kissed him. It was soft, because he was hurt, and because she was afraid. She spent her whole life being strong. She was strong enough for her and Pheli, for her mom, strong enough to handle her father leaving, and strong enough to watch Dean walk away from her over and over again. No matter how strong she was, Emerson was never strong enough to say yes. To say yes to him, to what she wanted. It was always someone else. The last time she felt close, that forever felt like an option, he was laying in a hospital bed and a few days later she wasn’t allowed to see him again. To say that her heart hurt was a vast understatement. So she kissed him softly, because a brush was all she could handle. Any more pressure and she may burst.

Pheli’s eyes were on them, locked and examining. “Okay, lets get you sitting up, lover boy.”

Dean smirked, though the smile didn’t meet his eyes. The girls helped him sit up, and Sam helped get him into the gear. Emerson and Pheli moved to the back of the tent to finish getting ready and to give the brothers a little space. “So, it’s a thing?” Phel whispered, eyeing Dean.

“What?”

“Don’t what me!”

Emerson smiled and gave her sister a quick nod.

“Yes!” Pheli squealed a little too loudly, throwing her arms around her sister. The girls hugged, despite the itching on Emerson’s burns, she laughed.

She was still laughing when a bright red flash of light shot across the sky, lighting up even the inside of the tent like a flare gun. “What the fuck was that?” Emerson asked, turning her face up.

“No idea,” Sam commented, quietly, his hands still on Dean’s hood, adjusting it.

“We need to go,” Dean agreed as a blaring alarm started ringing through the camp. “Help me up, Sammy.”

Sam gripped his brothers arm, yanking him up, causing Dean to grunt.

“Where are we going?” Emerson asked, gripping her gas mask in her hands.

“We are getting a Jeep and getting the fuck out of here. Don’t worry, Sweetheart. I’ve got ya. I’ll take point, Sam you follow up the end?”

“You got it.”

Dean slid his gas mask on, and the rest of the group followed. The bleep bleep bleep of the alarm still rang in their ears, only slightly muted from the mask over their ears. He held out a hand to Emerson, and she took it eagerly. His gloved hand felt heavy in hers. Dean gave her a nod, and she met his nod with her own.

The rain had lessened outside. It was more of a gentle drizzle, a hiss like a snake hiding in the grass. Emerson gripped Dean’s hand tighter. Apart from the alarm cutting through the air, things seemed quiet. Eerie. Empty.

The main gate was down, electricity pulsing through the air. The trees around the gate were on fire, the medical buildings, and coffee cart were all engulfed. Golden flecks of heat licked up toward the dark sky, deep black bellows of smoke curled and mingled with the clouds. There was a weight in the air. Something palpable. It felt sort of like a post disaster film reel, flickering on aged film without sound.

At least it did, until it didn’t.

The group saw Castiel before they heard him. He was running toward them, gas mask on, waving his arms wildly. Emerson squinted at him. It was hard to see through the smoke, and haze of red drizzle, but from where she stood it looked like he was running from something.

—————

Chapter Twenty-Two

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[carry-on-my-wayward-imagines]

Hope

Anonymous said: So I saw this quote today and I was wondering if you could do a Dean/reader oneshot based off it? “You don’t know you’ve fallen for someone until after it happens.”

Anonymous said: Hi! First off, I’m addicted to your writing, it’s so good! I was wondering if you could do one where the reader confesses her love to Dean and he doesn’t feel the same way, but after a few weeks/months he starts to fall for her? Whether or not the reader takes him at the end is up to you :) Thank you so much! <3

@-sidetracked- said: Can we make this like, a dean story please where like dean is in love with the reader and he isn’t supposed to be so he tried to forget like all the memories and stuff but she still comes around for Sam and cas and Charlie so he can’t and it’s really hard for him

A/N: It’s been so long...so long, but finally it’s here. Hope y’all like it. 

Word count: 2,352

Pairing: Dean x reader.

Warnings: a bit of drinking.

“Let Go” series: Part I, II, III, IV, V

Theme song: Someone New - Hozier

“Let Go” Series Spotify Playlist

Your name: submit What is this?

--------

You paced nervously, looking down at your outfit. It was a simple black dress with long sleeves, a washed-out denim jacket, and a pair of comfortable tennis shoes. After all, you weren’t doing anything fancy, just a walk around the park and dinner at a nearby place after that. And even though you knew the sports bar wouldn’t be high class, you couldn’t help but feel underdressed. Or maybe overdressed? It was too complicated.

It had taken you so long to get this date, you couldn’t ruin it. You smiled to yourself reassuringly, grabbing your small bag and glancing at your outfit once again before walking out of your room.

Dean could always tell who was walking into the room by their footsteps. Sam was quiet despite his size, Cas awkward at times, but you were confident. He heard you before he saw you, noting the spring in your step as you walked into the Bunker’s library. He glanced up from his book, breath instantly taken away. You looked gorgeous.

“What do you think?” you asked, glancing at him and then at Sam, who also looked up at you. “It’s my first time dressing up in a while.”

“You look great, as always,” Dean smiled, grabbing the keys that had been tossed on the table and standing up. “Ready go?”

“Absolutely,” you replied, fighting your heart as it jumped happily with Dean’s compliment.

“Have fun,” Sam called out as you walked away with his brother. He was happy for you.

You watched your shadow along the walls and floors of the Bunker silently, comfortably walking with a humming Dean toward the Impala. He opened up the door for you, as always, before settling in on the driver’s seat and bringing his baby to life.

“Thanks for driving me tonight,” you mentioned as you buckled your seatbelt. “Soo-jin and I were aching to get a spa day. She doesn’t know what I do, but it wasn’t hard for her to see that I could use it.”

“No problem, Y/N. I promise I’ll fix up your car soon enough, too.”

You suddenly remembered the last time Dean fixed your car, wearing jeans and black t-shirt that hugged his arms in all the right places, and the grease stains that somehow got everywhere. It was a good memory, but not something you needed at the moment.

You watched the bright sky illuminating the empty fields and occasional houses on the countryside, feeling the Impala rumble under you. Spring was slowly turning into summer, and the once-green grass of Kansas began to slumber off, giving up to a yellow color under the intense heat all around you. You thanked Mother Nature for her grace today, keep it a cool 80 degrees. Maybe it wasn’t a true coolness, but it would be as good as it got at 5 P.M. for a long time.

More houses began to appear after a while, and you trusted Dean’s current mixtape to keep your nerves down. But the scent of his cologne and shampoo didn’t do any good. You stole glances at him every now and then, but he remained focused on the road. Of course, he noticed your head turning, but kept it to himself for later. Despite your nonchalant acting around him, he had hope.

Those thoughts soon evaporated as he listened to you give him directions around town, streets winding up confusingly as you arrived to a nearby town. You saw the name of the sports bar pop up on your map, close by the salon. You got there rather quickly, considering the traffic on the streets, and with nerves pooling in your stomach as Dean parked in front of the salon. The guilt began sinking into you.

It shouldn’t have mattered, of course, that you were going on a date. It had been months since Dean’s accident, and although you were not a bit over him, you still knew that he would be awkward about the subject of you dating. As any brother would, you thought. He’d always been weird when you mentioned any guys, it was something that he and Sam didn’t want details of, and quite honestly, you never really had many details to share. How could anyone give you better memories than Dean, even if he was nothing more than a friend?

But Neal seemed nice, at least you got that from the phone call and texts you’d shared. You still couldn’t remember the night at the bar at all, just seeing him and giggling together with Soo-jin, but everything else was faded, like looking through the end of a glass bottle. Drinks and laughter mixed together, small touches and the smell of alcohol close to your nostrils. And Dean. There was always Dean, even if you ended up not hanging out with him that much.

It shouldn’t have mattered, but it did. Because Dean had been your best friend before, and now, as he looked at you with a smile, you could feel your heart tear a bit. You couldn’t lie to him, he’d be able to tell. All of those midnight conversations, your rides shared on the Impala, and pies cooked at the break of dawn had brought you closer to him than anyone else, even if your interactions were limited now. He could read you better than anyone.

“Thanks for the ride,” you forced yourself to say, looking down as you fixed your outfit, hoping he wouldn’t notice your stress. You had to convince him that you were simply going into the salon. “I’m having dinner with Soo-jin so I’ll just take a cab after, that sound okay?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” he said. Your heart fluttered. “Call me if you need me to pick you up, though. I’m here for anything.”

You found yourself wishing that was true in different ways. With a last smile and a quick goodbye, you got out of the car, waving at him and reassuring him you carried something silver and some holy water.

A deep breath later, you found yourself walking past the salon, locating the park just a street away. It was small, but nice. There was a fountain at the center, happy streams of water jumping and dancing around in it. The trees swayed with a cool breeze, but even then you began to question your outfit under the sun. You sat on the concrete of the fountain, looking at your phone and re-reading the text messages to make sure you were in the right place.

“Y/N,” you suddenly heard your name being called out.

He was just as your tipsy memory remembered; tanned flawless skin, charming smile, and toned arms. He was dressed more casually now, but even the khaki shorts and Columbia University shirt looked impressive. He held a black leash in his hand, which travelled all the way down to a cheerful labrador.

“Neal,” you smiled, standing up. His dog, Creek, circled around you, tail playfully wagging as you rubbed the top of his head. “I didn’t imagine your puppy would be so freaking adorable.”

“He’s definitely not a puppy,” Neal laughed.

“All dogs are puppies,” you challenged, teasingly glaring at him. Dean might’ve said the same thing. Kneeling down, you let Creek give you a couple kisses while you kept on petting him. “Aren’t you, cutie pie? Little pumpkin of adorableness?”

“I knew he’d be a good wingman,” Neal joked, offering his hand to help you up. “Trust me, he gets spoiled at home. If we don’t walk him then he’ll be troublesome later.”

You reluctantly stood up, accepting his hand. It was less calloused than your own, but firm. However, it also felt nothing like Dean’s, and his touch didn’t make you feel the same sparks as Dean’s. Trying to push that to the back of your head, you followed his pace with Creek, making small conversation as you went.

He was a lawyer, but went around the state taking cases, so he wasn’t home much. Creek was two years old, and as his name hinted, he had been found in a creek in one of the cities Neal travelled to once. His favorite toys were the squeaky kind, and he was trained to do many things, including playing dead. You found yourself asking a lot of questions about Creek.

“I had a dog growing up,” you explained as an apology, “but after that I just...sort of wound up moving a lot and never had the chance the get another pupper.”

“I get it. It was hard at first to get him used to moving around with me, but now he does a lot better,” Neal said, scratching Creek’s back as he walked. “So, Y/N, what do you do that makes you travel, too?”

“Umm,” you muttered, panicking. You hadn’t thought about this, of course he would ask. “I work in nursing, just traveling when I feel like I’m needed. It’s not more than a couple weeks at a time though.”

You weren’t completely lying, you tried to reason. You did act as a nurse for Sam and Dean; you just didn’t have to mention that it was after hunting down ghost or vampires or whatever else you found. But Neal bought it, nodding and mentioning he had thought about that while he was in school.

After a couple laps around the park, you hinted at dinner, knowing your dress wouldn’t be dry for much longer under the unavoidable rays of the sun. Thankfully the bar provided some water for Creek, and you got a seat by the window so you could keep an eye on him as you ate. The wings and lemonade kept you happy, intently listening to Neal as he spoke about his most recent case. And soon enough, the lemonade turned into a fruity drink or two, maybe a couple shots when you challenged him to it.

It was still before 8 when you left the bar, needing to take Creek home, and you heading in the same direction. You carried a water bottle with you as you walked outside with Neal. He lived a couple streets away, and you offered to walk along with him as you sobered up.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you home?” Neal asked for the third time as you approached his house. It was a one-story, with a spacious front yard (and you guessed back yard, too).

“You’re a lawyer, smart guy,” you laughed, following him to the front porch. “Even if we’re only a little tipsy, I live 40 minutes away and I’d rather not risk it.”

He threw his hands up, taking a set of keys out of his pocket and opening the door. Creek immediately rushed in, pacing around and then settling on his bed. You smiled at Neal as he walked in after you, closing the door behind him. He poured you another glass of water while you borrowed his phone and got an Uber, his smile never losing its charm.

When you stepped outside again, a driver waiting for you in the front, you couldn’t help but pet Creek one more time before hesitantly saying goodnight to Neal.

“Hey,” he said, grabbing your wrist before you left. Still no sparks. “I really enjoyed tonight.”

“I did, too,” you replied. At least that wasn’t a lie.

“I’m gonna be out of town for a while next Monday, but we could do lunch or something before I leave,” he suggested. You nodded along, and before you could really take in what was happening, Neal was leaning down.

I’m sorry, Dean, was the last thought on your mind as your closed your eyes and stood on your toes to meet him.

----

“Well, at least now I know that you’re alive,” Dean’s angry voice reached your ears.

You locked the Bunker’s door behind you, ignoring the look you knew he was giving you from the bottom of the stairs.

“I’m sorry, I forgot to charge my phone beforehand,” you replied, sighing.

You got a good look at Dean when you came down. He had his arms crossed, a look of concern and annoyance etched into the crinkles of his face. Your heart still warmed at the brightness of his green eyes, but shame and guilt mixed in with the warmth.

“You couldn’t have borrowed someone else’s phone?”

“I didn’t think about it,” you muttered. You really hadn’t, at least not to call. “Dean, can you just stop this interrogation? I wanna go change and shower.”

Dean tried to hold back, but he couldn’t. For some reason, he had been nervous as he dropped you off. He could tell that you weren’t being completely truthful with him. He was aching to tell you how he felt about you, but knowing that you were keeping something from him made him mad. Especially when he had called and texted to make sure you were okay, but you never replied.

“Oh yeah, get that smell of alcohol off of you,” he said.

“What’s with you?” you narrowed your eyes. Your heart began to drum faster as you confronted Dean. “I’m not a teenager, you can’t tell me that I can’t drink alcohol on a night out.”

“I was worried about you, Y/N. I even doubt you were with Soo-jin,” he confessed. You tried to keep yourself calm, to not let him see more of your lies.

“Well you shouldn’t be,” you shrugged. “And you’re not my dad or my boyfriend, so why do you care?”

You knew why he cared, it was a stupid question to ask, but you didn’t him a chance to saying anything else as you marched past him. You knew he heard the shake in your voice as you said “boyfriend.” Of course, even a date and a kiss later, you were not one bit over him. Not one bit.

And as Dean watched you walk away, he realized the same thing. You were still not over him, as much as you pretended. He still had a chance.

Of course, he knew nothing of the texts you sent later that night.

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[kimmyiewrites]

Moving On ~ Chpt 7

AN: TRIGGER WARNING - detox after relapse in drug addiction. This entire chapter is basically that so please skip this chapter if you need to. The next chapter is trigger free and back to the regularly scheduled mafia take down.

The doorbell rang just as Bex had finished handcuffing Mike to the bed. “I’ll be right back.” Bex promised, squeezing his free hand.

Bex opened the door after checking through the peephole that it was a friendly face. Mike had shown her a group photo, long before the secrets ate away at the group of Graceland, and shown her which one was Charlie.

“You must be Bex. I’m Charlie. Wish we were meeting through better circumstances.” Charlie stuck out her hand and gave Bex a bittersweet smile.

Bex gave her hand a firm shake and returned her smile. “He’s in his room already cuffed. It’s right past the living room.”

Charlie nodded and set her bag down.

“Oh, and Charlie? Tell him I’m coming back? I just gotta grab some things from my car.”

Charlie smiled, she knew that Mike had finally found himself a good one. “You got it, baby doll.”

With that the girls went in their separate directions. Luckily Bex had an overnight bag in the back of her car, she knew she wasn’t going to be at home for quite some time. Hopefully Luka wouldn’t freak out when she wasn’t going to be around for the next few days. She lastly grabbed a worn copy of The Wizard of Oz. It was her sister’s favorite book. Bex carried it everywhere with her. She hoped the words were helpful for Mike during his detox.

“You’ve got yourself a keeper there, Mikey. Tell me you’ve scooped her up,” Charlie said.

Mike chuckled. “I’m afraid not Chuck. I don’t exactly have a stellar track record with dating on the inside.”

Charlie laughed and patted his chest. “I’ve only spent maybe five minutes with the girl and I already know you’d be a real idiot if you let her get away.”

Mike smile and squeezed her hand. “Thanks Charlie and thanks for coming down here.”

Charlie placed a kiss onto his hand before standing. “Anytime, Mikey.” She then walked out o find Bex writing on Mike’s wall calendar. “What’s that?”

Bex turned around looking like a kid who got caught with their hand in the cookie jar. “Oh, it’s just a reminder for myself of when the Capello’s big sale is. I know I’m going to forget about it.”

Charlie placed a comforting hand on Bex’s shoulder. “You could just tell him, ya know. He’s still Mike. You should tell him though before he won’t be able to talk back.”

Bex looked down at her shoes and nodded. “He’s going to be okay, right?” She whispered.

Charlie wrapped her arms around the other woman. “Oh sweetie, Mike’s going to be okay and this time he’s got the support system he needs.” She pulled back at arm’s length and smiled at her. “Now go tell him your big break through and then we’ll set up in the living room so we can do rounds.”

Bex smiled. “Thanks, Charlie.”

Once Bex entered Mike’s room he lazily smiled up at her. He was beginning to get tired from the late hour and he was thankful that it looked like he was going to be able to get some sleep before the pain set in. Bex sat down beside him. “I’m so bad at this stuff.” She started with a laugh.

“Hey, I’m just handcuffed to a bed. You don’t have to act weird,” he chuckled, “You were calling me earlier. Did the sale go through?” Mike asked.

Bex smiled, glad he helped her past the awkwardness she felt. “I got a date, Mike. Luka might even let me go with him.” She beamed. “The Capello’s should be taken out by the end of the week!”

Mike took Bex’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “That is fantastic news Bex! Great job. Knew you could do it.”

Bex returned Mike’s squeeze. “Thanks Mike. I couldn’t have done it without you. Now try and get some sleep okay?”

Mike smiled. “You too, Bex and thank you.”

Bex was woken up by the sound of Mike’s groans. Charlie placed a hand on her shoulder. “It’s okay. Go back to sleep. I got it.”

Mike was fidgeting about on the bed from the pain that he was in. When he saw Charlie walk in he began laughing. “Charlie, c’mon, let me out. This isn’t what I meant. I needed help with my latest case.” He tried to bargain.

“It’s not going to work, Mike. You can do this.” Charlie encouraged as she walked over to the side they left the puke bucket on. She noticed that it needed to be switched so she replaced it with an empty one and with a promise to return. She went to go clean out the full bucket and when she returned she began talking about Chicago. In the middle of her story the kettle went off.

Mike was gradually becoming worse. He began scratching and sweating. He also periodically clutched at his side in pain as he fought through his body’s detox. He continued to beg Charlie to get her to release him but she continued to ignore him. When he heard the kettle go off he began calling for Bex. She wouldn’t let him suffer.

Bex came running at the shout of her name. Charlie sighed, knowing her time was up. Before she left the room she reminded Bex to not let Mike get to her.

“Bex, you gotta let me out. We’ve got the mafia to take down.” Mike pleaded.

Bex just shook her head. “They can wait. How ‘bout I tell you about the first time I went under cover?” She asked as she sat down and took his hand.

Mike groaned, hating that it seemed like Bex wouldn’t let him out either.

Bex launched into her story of how she and another agent dressed in Halloween costumes went undercover to try to become a part of a gang. “So I was at this house and of fucking course the party’s theme was the circus so as I’m searching for the leader, I’m taken out by one of the goons that are dressed as clowns. I’m talking feet flying in the air, wind knocked out of me all because a clown tackled me.

Then there was this loud bang and the clown takes off and I chase after him. Before I know it I’m on the ground again but this time because of a cop. I had bruises for weeks!” She shook her head in disbelief at the memory. “I got the name Go-Go because of it. Some pair we make, huh? Go-Go and Levi.”

Charlie and Bex continued taking turns watching over Mike. They were 36 hours in and Mike was worse for wear. Bex was with him, trying to make him feel some comfort by wiping his face with a cool, damp wash cloth. Charlie knocked on the door and held up Bex’s phone. “Some guy name Luka keeps calling.”

“Oh shit.” Bex mumbled as she went to grab her phone.

“Go answer it,” Charlie said, “I can handle this.”

Bex smiled gratefully and went to go answer her phone. “Luka, hey.” She answered sheepishly.

“Bex, thank god you finally picked up. You weren’t at home or at your usual spots. Are you okay? Where are you?” He sounded genuinely worried which made her feel bad.

“I’m sorry, Luka. My friend’s really sick and I’ve been taking care of her. I guess I’ve just lost count of the days.”

Luka let out a sigh of relief. “I’m just glad you’re okay. I knew Declan had to be lying again.”

Bex froze at the mention of the other agent’s name. “Declan said something?”

“Don’t worry about him. He’ s just jealous that no one pays attention to him anymore.” He brushed off her worry. “How about you tell me where your friend lives and I’ll pick you up for lunch?”

Bex smiled even if he couldn’t see her. She was relieved Luka didn’t believe Declan and was touched that he wanted to take her to lunch but she couldn’t leave Mike. “I wish I could. I don’t know if I’ve picked up her virus though and it’s such a nasty one I wouldn’t want to give it to you. I should know in a few more days though.”

Luka sighed. “I understand. I guess I’ll talk to you later then.”

Bex nodded. “Yes, and thanks for checking on me.” With that they hung up and Bex went back into Mike’s room, Wizard of Oz in hand.

By the time 48 hours had passed Bex had reached halfway through the book. Mike had been fighting through the entire time going so far as putting the pillow over his head to block out her voice. Bex sighed when she noticed him do it during her recent reading. She marked the page and set it down on his dresser. She then rolled his desk chair over to the side of his bed and gently took his hand that was gripping the pillow. She caressed the back of his hand as she took a deep breath.

“You can do this, Mike. I know you can. You’re facing this thing head on and I wish I had half the strength you did. It took me years to finally face my demons. I would not go towards a human trafficking case with a ten foot pole.”

Mike was still staring straight ahead. The world around him was blurry and while Bex’s words were pulsing in and out like his grip on reality, he knew the importance of them. Her voice was calming, he honestly didn’t mind listening to her read but when she did she stood at the foot of his bed, pacing back and forth as she acted out the story as best she could. The only thing was that with her being so far away she was a blonde blob and that blob reminded him too much of Paige so he hated when Bex read. But this, Bex sitting next to his bed, holding his hand, and talking he could do, he preferred and for a short while it took his mind off of the pain he felt throughout his whole body.

“You know that case I told you about after we signed the Capello’s to our bank? The one that wasn’t technically my first case but I consider it to be? It was the reason I joined the Bureau actually. I knew that I had to make sure other families didn’t feel like my family did but still I would not go anywhere near a case that would remind me of my sister.

It was my second year in college and I get a call from my mom that my sister has gone missing. A week later her body shows up and she’s dressed in this outfit that is not like my sister at all. Funny enough I guess, the FBI was brought in on the investigation. They told us that the guy who took my sister was on their most wanted list but he was a skilled criminal sticking with low profile girls who wouldn’t raise any red flags. The girls living on the street, runaways, drug dealers, prostitutes, those kinds of people. He gets one wrong periodically, like with my sister.

She didn’t want to bother me since it was mid-terms week but she wanted to come stay with me for a while. My parents didn’t like her plan. She was about to graduate high school and was looking for schools that had a great acting program. She wanted to be an actress but my parents didn’t support it.

The case went cold and I joined the Bureau. It wasn’t until about a year before you came to D.C. actually that I started working on those kinds of cases again.” Bex had to stop to hold herself together. She needed to be strong for Mike.

“You’ve got 24 more hours. I know you can do it, Mike. You’re so close. I believe in you. Just hold on just a little bit more.” She sat up and brushed his hair back before placing a kiss on his clammy forehead.

“Bex, where are the keys?!” Charlie called out the last morning that Mike had to be locked up. He was too hot. She was nervous that this would happen. It happened the last time.

“They’re on his desk!” Bex replied as she ran to his room.

“Start a bath and get the ice! He’s running a fever.” Charlie ordered as she heard Bex’s hurried footsteps.

Bex ran into the en suite and started running cold water into the tub before running to get the bags of ice they had put in the freezer. She set them down beside the tub and then went to help Charlie get Mike into the ice bath. “On the count of three, ready?” Bex asked as she looked over at Charlie, who was at Mike’s head.

Charlie nodded.

One

Two

Three

Mike felt the ice water lap at his over heated skin and soak through his clothes. Soon the feeling went away as he heard birds chirping and saw a serene meadow scene in front of him. He then felt the urge to run towards something but he wasn’t entirely sure what that something was. He ran through a field of high grass, jumping over obstacles that were in his path.

A red bird flew in front of him, causing Mike to slow down. He stepped towards the bird, trying not to scare it away. It was the same bird he had seen outside of the bank before his detox had taken place. It stared at him for a moment just as it had when he had seen it outside of this dream before flying off to join the others. Mike felt the urge to follow the flock so he turned and walked down a road with arching trees that lead him to a grandfather clock that was stuck at the time 10:10.

As Mike came closer, a woman came into view. “Bex?” He asked when he recognized the woman.

She smiled at him and offered her hand which he took. “What are you doing here?” Mike asked.

Bex just shrugged. “It’s your subconscious but you better fight your way back to me, Mike Warren.” Before leaving she placed a kiss on his cheek and gave him a loving look.

Just as she vanished, Mike began choking. He felt like he was drowning. With one last push he shot out of the water, gasping for breath. Hands were pushing his hair back and lips were placing kisses on top of his head but neither belonged to the woman he was looking at.

Charlie began cleaning up, deciding to let the other two have their moment. Just as she was leaving the bathroom she heard the sound of two bodies colliding. She turned around and smiled as she looked on to see Bex embracing Mike and Mike returning it, holding her as close to him as the bathtub would allow.

“Don’t you ever do that to me again, Mike Warren. I thought I lost you.” Bex breathed.

Mike gave her waist a tight squeeze. “I promise that I will always fight my way back to you.”

#kim writes things #moving on #graceland #graceland usa #graceland fic #mike x bex #7 #tw: drugs #tw: detox #tw: drug abuse #tw: relapse #here's the queue we started out as friends #moving on series

[ilovethings-somuch]

I know it has been a while but I am just thought I asked, if you are busy it is okay! Reader/Sebastian Stan- he tries to help you while you suffer from sinuses as it is spring time! while trying to occupy the kids and the pets? P.s hugs love ya hope everything is going well!

The sound of the baby crying is always the first thing to wake me on a Saturday. Normally Saturdays are my favorite day of the week. The one of the few days I get to spend with Sebastian as well as all the kids, but when I woke up this morning with the inability to breathe through my nose I knew it was going to be a rough one.

“Seba” I croak, finding that my throat has also grown sore overnight. He rolls to face me, a look of concern taking over his previously relaxed features.

“Are you okay?” he runs his hand over my forehead, checking for fever before continuing down my cheek.

“It’s probably just allergies” I assure him.

“Oh no, the zoo will not be help with that” he tells me sympathetically.

“Oh, but the kids will be so disappointed. It’ll be fine, I’ll make it”

“No. No you are going to stay here. I will take the kids to the zoo. That way you can relax and get better, and the kids still get their fun Saturday”

“Seb you don’t have to do that” I try fight with him but the fact that my voice is coming and going isn’t helping my argument.

“I’m not arguing with you about this. I want you to be as healthy as possible for our time together. Besides, it’s been awhile since I’ve taken the kids anywhere without you. You deserve a break”

“Fine” I mumble and he kisses my forehead before sliding out of bed and heading towards the nursery.

I follow shortly behind but make a stop in the bathroom for some allergy medication. I head to the kitchen to make sure everyone gets breakfast and pack a picnic lunch for everyone.

“I thought you were supposed to be relaxing” Sebastian scolds me when he comes into the kitchen.

“Well I wanted to make sure you didn’t forget anything. I packed a picnic for you and I-” Sebastian cuts me off by turning my by the shoulders and leading me out to the living room.

“Seb, I ju-”

“Nope. I don’t wanna hear whatever it is you’re going to say. You’re going to sit here and watch TV or sleep. You are not going to help us get ready for the day” He starts to walk away and I’m about to follow him when he turns around, pointing at me and tells me to stay.

“I’m not a dog, you know!” I shout after him.

“You’re right, Bell listens better than you do!” he calls back, making our dog run to him at the mention of her name. I pout for awhile before giving up and covering myself with a blanket and turning the TV on.

“Mommy, Mommy! Are you ready for the zoo? We’re going to see the lions and, Daddy’s favorite, the Pandas” Our 4 year old, Oliver, bounds onto the couch with me. I listen to him ramble on about all we’re going to see until Sebastian appears and intervenes.

“Mommy’s gonna stay home today, okay Ollie? She doesn’t feel very good”

“Mommy’s sick?” he asks Seb.

“Just some allergies, I’ll be okay soon, I just need to rest today”

“Which means you,” Sebastian say, pointing to Oliver, “need to come with me”

Oliver gives me a hug before following Sebastian out of the room. I hear our youngest, Greyson, crying from his bedroom and am about to go fetch him when Sebastian passes the living room with a pointed look at me and goes to Greyson’s room instead. Even though it’s hard for me to let Seb do all the work, it is enjoyable to watch how well he’s able to handle everybody.

“Mom, Dad said you aren’t coming with us” our oldest, Charlotte, interrupts my train of thought.

“I’m sorry honey, I really want to, but Daddy said I need to stay home so that I can feel better”

“But you promised we’d see the sea lion show while the babies watch the penguins with Dad, you know I hate how they smell” she wrinkles her nose at the thought.

“Oh you’re right, how about I talk to Dad and we’ll see if we can convince him” I start making my way to the nursery with Charlotte following behind me. I make it to the hallway before Sebastian appears with Greyson on his hip.

“What are you doing up? Charlie I told you to leave your Mom alone”

“Charlie just reminded me that I promised her the sea lion show. I have to come with”

“Nope. It’s not happening” he says quickly, “You go lay down. Charlie come with me, I need your help”

Both of us pout at him but he manages to keep his straight face as he walks past us. Charlotte trudges after him towards the kitchen and I go back to the couch. Sebastian manages to keep all the kids preoccupied enough to leave me alone right up until they’re ready to leave.

“Okay, go say goodbye to Mommy” I hear Sebastian tell the kids right before Oliver runs and jumps on my lap.

“Bye Mommy!” he yells into my ear as he wraps his little arms around my neck.

“Bye, Ollie, you be good for Daddy, okay?”

“Okay!” he jumps off the couch again and runs towards the door to put his shoes on.

“Bye Mom” Charlotte pouts as she gives me a hug.

“Hey, I promise I’ll take you to the sea lion show another time, okay? Just you and me, no boys. Help Dad with Ollie, please?” She nods her agreement and follows Ollie out the front door.

“Where’s my baby?” I hold my arms out for Greyson and he smiles and starts babbling at me. “I can’t believe you’re taking his first trip to the zoo away from me” I glare at Sebastian.

“I’ll take lots of pictures” he assures me as he takes Greyson back into his arms. “I love you, sleep, drink lots of water, I’ll bring home your favorite soup for dinner” He pecks my lips between each command, causing Greyson to giggle and grab at our faces.

“I love you too, call me if you need anything” He smiles his agreement and heads out the door after the kids.

I’m surprisingly able to get a good amount of sleep in, and the humidifier that Seb set up in the living room is doing wonders for my sore throat. I wake up sometime around 4 with Bell asleep on my lap. I decide to take a shower before everyone gets home. I check my phone to find a ton of picture messages from Sebastian. Some of Ollie hugging the glass in front of the Lion enclosure, a couple of Greyson with ice cream all over his cheeks, and even one of Charlotte smiling at the Sea Lion show. I send him a bunch of heart emojis back and hop in the shower.

By the time I’m out I can hear voices from the living room. I get dressed quickly and make my way out to the living room.

“Mom!” Charlotte yells first, “did you see? Dad took me to the Sea Lion show! And we skipped the stinky penguins”

“I did see, did you have a good day with the boys?”

“I did” she hugs me, “Dad’s getting dinner set out in the kitchen, he told me to come get you”

“Oh well let’s not keep him waiting then” I follow her to the kitchen, the wonderful smell of my favorite soup taking over the air. “Oh this smells amazing”

“Does that mean you can smell again?” Seb asks hopefully as he crosses the kitchen to me.

“I suppose it does, but I wouldn’t get too excited, sometimes that’s just from the shower”

“Darn” he shrugs before kissing me. “Did you sleep?”

“I did, and I drank lots of water and some tea. Thank you for the humidifier by the way”

“I figured you might need it more than Greyson’s empty room” he tells me nonchalantly.

“How were the boys?” I ask him, noticing that Greyson is almost asleep in his dinner and Oliver is on his way out too.

“They were good, Greyson slept in the stroller around 1 but only for a little while. Oliver only got crabby right before lunch, and maybe a little when I told him there weren’t any dragons at this zoo” he whispers the last part, making me laugh.

“Oh no, now he’s going to make him go to a zoo that does have dragons”

“No, it’s okay, I explained to him that dragons are too dangerous to be kept in zoos” he assures me through his quiets chuckles.

“Oh good!”

“Mommy, what’s so funny?” Oliver perks up when he notices me laughing.

“Nothing, honey, nothing at all. How is your dinner? Did you like the zoo?”

He forgets about our laughter quickly and starts telling me about everything he saw. Sebastian joins us at the table, setting a bowl of soup in front of me before digging into his own meal. I smile around the table, enjoying these little bits of our life that are completely domestic.

A/N: Well this ended up being longer than I planned, but I hope you like it! Domestic Sebastian is definitely my favorite Sebastian. oh also, when you sent me this I was like “but it’s fall.. not spring..?” and then I remembered that you’re in a different hemisphere than me 😂

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#Sebastian Stan #sebastian stan x reader #Sebastian Stan/reader #sebastian stan fanfiction #Sebastian Stan fanfic #Sebastian Stan request #dad!sebastian stan

[hopeishappinessff]

Chapter 35

Rolling over onto my side, I squinted at the beaming neon numbers on my alarm clock and after yawning and stretching wide, I smiled broadly and pushed myself into an upright position… today, was my birthday. I woke up nearly twenty minutes earlier than usual, so I spoiled myself by snuggling in my bed and flipping on the television to pass time. Around seven am., I finally climbed out of bed and moseyed over to my bathroom to complete my morning tasks. Within twenty minutes, I was out of the shower and making my way back into my room with a towel wrapped snuggly around my frame. Before I could reach my closet, a large white bag perched beside a shoe box near the closet entrance caught my eye. A slight rush of panic surged through me as I peeked around my room then slowly approached the randomly placed objects. Hesitantly, I reached down into the bag and I could feel soft material against the tips of my fingers.

Minutes later I’d pulled an entire mystery outfit from the bag and a matching pair of shoes from the shoebox. I grinned at the sight of the adorable getup, though I had no clue where it came from. Rushing back to the bathroom, I quickly released my golden tresses from the holder then fluffed it to make each necessary piece fall perfectly around my face. I only slowed down long enough to paint my face with a thin layer of foundation, followed by a natural contour, a pop of bronzer for a nice glow, 3D fiber mascara, and a neutral pink gloss to accentuate my lips. Moving back into my room, I rid myself of the plush towel and swiftly dressed in the entire outfit from the bag that consisted of khaki skinnies, a black hoodie that read ‘Beauty’ in bold white letters, and a fresh pair of red, black and white Nike Air Jordan IV’s. I completed the look by tying a red bandana neatly in my hair just behind my curly bangs, allowing the ends to remain open at the top to form bunny ears. I faced myself in the mirror and fluffed my loose curly tresses once more and without wasting anymore time, I scooped up my black studded back pack and exited my room.

The moment my foot crossed the threshold into the kitchen, my aunt instantly bombarded me with a spoon she’d been using to stir grits in one hand. “Awww, look at my baby… Happy Birthday sweetheart!” She squealed as she bobbed up and down in front of me to a Charlie Wilson song that played from her iPod dock. I giggled at her overabundance of energy and marched toward the table to claim a seat. “Thanks Auntie.” I muttered bashfully. “You’re welcome baby… oh you just look so adorable!” She gushed, making her way to the kitchen entrance where she stuck her head out into the hall. She swung back around to face me with a beaming grin and soon, a towering frame entered the space just feet behind her.

“Happy Birthday Sy.” Chris greeted as he eased closer to me and pulled me up into a warm bear hug. I shut my eyes as we embraced and inhaled his addictive scent, wishing that he could hold me that close forever. My fantasy was over the moment he stepped back and it was then that I took the opportunity to take in his ensemble. He was dressed in a sagging pair of fitted khaki’s, a black hoodie that looked remarkably similar to my own only his read ‘Beast’ in bold white letters, and his red, black and white Nike Air Jordan IV’s were an exact replica of mine. He complimented the entire look with a red snapback that he wore angled forward and straight in its usual manner.

“I like your outfit.” I smirked. He smiled as he bit into his bottom lip and allowed his eyes to roam freely over my frame “I like yours too.” “I bet you do,” My aunt blurted as she eyed us through curious eyes with a brow raised and a hand jammed against her hip, “He put both of your outfits together. Coming over here begging me to tell him what size clothes and shoes you wear. I swear you two are something else.” Glancing down at my outfit, I quickly realized that we were indeed matching to a T. From his red hat that was obviously meant to be a male’s interpretation of my red bandana, to the identical hoodies that made me the ‘Beauty’ to his ‘Beast’. I could only giggle at the concept… I had no idea he’d be thoughtful enough to put this together.

“Thank you Chris. This is absolutely adorable.” I beamed. “I was hoping you would like it.” He smirked. “Oh you two are just the cutest,” My aunt gushed, clapping her hands together as she bounced in place, “Let Auntie go get her camera and get a few shots before ya’ll go stuntin on them lil haters at your school.” With now matching blank expressions, Chris and I both stared at one another before bursting into a fit of laughter as she darted of the kitchen. She soon rushed back in with her camera on and ready to go, and nearly an entire photoshoot later she finally allowed us to make our way out the door.

“Alright my gorgeous young lady and handsome young man, you two have a good day at school. And Happy Birthday to you again baby… we���ll give you all your gifts and everything as soon as you get home.” My aunt called out behind us as we ventured down the few steps from the porch toward Chris’s truck. “Alright Auntie. You have a good day.” “Ya’ll be careful out here on these roads. Chris…” The hazardous tone in her voice prompted him to turn to face her. “Yes ma’am.” “Drive slow in that big rig boy.” She said with a stern finger pointed out at him. “Yes ma’am… I will.” He chuckled.

--

“Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday to you… Happy Birthday dear Sy’Diyah… Happy Birthday to you!” With cheeks as red a rose and a smile a mile wide, I sat with my hands clamped over my mouth as nearly the entire cafeteria joined in to croon Happy Birthday to me. I shook my head as I watched each of my friends dance about wildly, diving immediately into a lovely ethnic rendition of the tune. “Happy Birthday to ya… Happy Birthday to ya… Happy Birthdaaaaaay…” The boys all twirled around behind me and I cackled aloud as Chris reached over my shoulders and grabbed my hands, throwing them up in the air and waving them from side to side as he continued to sing the song. After enduring the embarrassment for what felt like eternity, the song finally ended with him hitting a high note right in my ear and the cafeteria erupted into applause. Once everyone at the table finally reclaimed their seats, the chatter quickly began.

“This just in, Sy’Diyah Hope Donsen is finally a legally grown ass woman… how does it feel to be a legally grown ass woman Sy?” Rashad asked in a forged reporter’s voice as he playfully stuck his fist out in my face as though he were clutching a microphone. “Well,” I stared, going along with his goofiness, “It feels pretty great sir… it’s like, I feel like I’m finally progressing in life.” He chuckled and pulled his fist back away from me “Well, you heard it here first folks… now back to you at the studio Bob.” The table roared with laughter and Destani playfully punched him in the shoulder “You stupid Shad.”

“Real spill though Sy, your outfit is lit girl,” Tameka said from her seat beside Destani, “Chris yours too… damn, wait… ya’ll niggas match. Ya’ll know that?” Glancing over at Chris, I noticed that he’d already begun to shake his head and he glared at her through squinted eyes as the rest of the table laughed. “No Meka, I personally had no idea.” He said with a hand pressed against his chest. “Well just so you know,” She leaned forward and pointed from me to him, “Your outfits look exactly alike.” He nodded his head and continued to maintain a straight face “Thanks Meeks. I swear, we honestly didn’t know.” “Damn Meka, there you go with that slow shit again.” Destani muttered. “What?” She asked, completely oblivious.

“Anyway… what time does the game start tonight?” Nalay asked. “Seven… and we got that senior recognition thing at half time.” Chris replied. “Aw damn nigga, I forgot all about that. My mama showed me some paper about that shit and I smooth ain’t listen when she tried to explain to me what it was.” Dontay said. “Yeah, well… coach said we all have to attend that shit, so you better call ma dukes and tell her.” Chris stated as he popped a fry in his mouth. Lunch was soon over and as I got up to dispose of my trash, I couldn’t help but laugh as I listened to Dontay, Chris, and Rashad argue over who would walk me to my next class. I could only shake my head as Mike and BJ both slipped into place on either side of me.

“So since dumb, dumber, and dumb ass nigga can’t get it together over there, would you mind if two real gentlemen escort you to class Madam?” BJ asked, hooking his right arm with my left before I could even reply. Mike followed suit on my right and soon they both did indeed begin to walk me toward the main doors of the cafeteria. “Aye, hold the fuck up… where ya’ll going?” Chris yelled from behind us. I glanced back at him, blew him a quick kiss, and continued to walk out of the cafeteria with my newfound escorts.

--

The final bell of the day rang and I couldn’t have been more ecstatic. I was forced to endure the remainder of the day with sneers and stares from nearly every girl I encountered in the halls and my classes. It didn’t take long for news of my birthday to spread and once the idea of Chris and I sporting matching outfits got around, people quickly began to speculate. I was well on my way out into the student parking lot with Destani, but we were stopped midway by a very demanding Chris.

“Chris how you gonna drive her home when you have practice like, right now?” Destani argued, but with the dominant attitude that Chris possessed, I knew the argument was as good as done the moment he parted his lips to speak. “Dez, why don’t you walk to your car, I’ll walk to mine… and Sy’Diyah will walk with me.” His statement was simple and to the point and he never even turned to face her as he walked ahead of us. “Oooohhhh, this nigga get on my last damn nerve. Your yellow ass don’t run no damn body, come on Sy let’s go.” She said, stomping off toward her car. “Dez, wait,” I shouted as I caught up to her, “You know if you take me home, neither one of us will ever hear the end of it from him. You may as well just let him take me.”

She rolled her eyes and scoffed, throwing her hand down against her hip “Fine, if you wanna ride with him, whatever… I was just tryna do something nice for your ass.” I stared at her for only a few seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter. Her jaw instantly dropped and she glared at me “You would laugh.” “I’m sorry… I really do appreciate that Dez.” I said with a grin. With a smirk and a roll of her eyes, she stepped forward and swooped me into a hug “Well, I guess you should get on over there with your boo before he loses his damn mind.” “I’ll see you later okay.” I giggled. I turned and ambled away, finally reaching Chris and his truck and quickly climbing inside.

“You know you’re gonna be late for practice, right?” I asked as he whipped out of the parking lot. He nodded, never uttering a word as he continued to bob his head to his music. “And you’re okay with that?” I asked. “I’m good with that babe. What can Coach Wes really do to me? I’m the captain of the damn team… he can’t do shit but tell me not to be late again.” Deciding not to argue against him, I remained silent until we arrived at my house a short while later and I nearly choked on air as he parked along the curb outside the house.

Standing there in the driveway, leaning against the back of his truck, was Trey peering through Chris's windshield… directly at me. Panic instantly hit me like a ton of bricks and through the most horrified eyes, I slowly glanced at Chris. With an expression as hard as stone and as cold as ice, he glared at Trey. “Thanks for the ride Chris,” I nearly whispered with a hand situated on the handle of the door, more prepared than ever to bolt, “I’ll see you later okay.”

“Hold up,” He mumbled. I swore I could hear my heart thumping away in my ears and my breath quickly became jagged as I watched him lean across his seat, resting his right elbow on my arm rest, “You told this nigga to come over here?” I shook my head as I twiddled my fingers and attempted to look everywhere but at him. I knew Trey would pop up at some point in the day, I just wasn’t expecting him to be here… now. “I didn’t tell him to come over here. I had no idea…” He raised a finger to silence me and continued to stare out the window almost curiously at Trey. Motioning for me to lean forward, I did so hesitantly and awaited his next move. Diverting his gaze down to my lips, he abruptly meshed his lips against mine and thrust his arm rest up to give himself more leverage to lean in closer.

With my lips now parted to make way for his tongue, I was immediately caught off guard by the sensation of the metal ball in the center of his tongue as he slithered it along the edges of my own. Instinctively, I moaned and clutched onto the front of his matching hoodie as he snaked a hand around to the back of my neck. The sound of our lips smacking was enough to give me the urge to climb over into his lap, but I refrained from doing so as he gripped my neck gently and pulled me deeper into the kiss. Only seconds later did he pull away, tugging at my bottom lip as he slowly leaned back into his seat.

“You gone make me miss practice.” He mumbled, staring avidly at my lips. I could feel my cheeks blushing as I tucked my bottom lip between my teeth and shied away from him. He swiped his tongue over his lips and glanced out of the window behind me with that same stone expression. “Well I’ll um,” I started, pausing only to clear my throat and gather my rambled thoughts, “I guess I’ll see you later today.” He nodded and twisted his lips to one side with furrowed brows and eyed me carefully as I climbed down out of the truck. I moseyed slowly up the driveway toward Trey, refusing to look back as I listened to Chris speed off down the street.

“Hi Trey.” I mumbled once I was within earshot. He nodded only once, yet remained eerily silent. I prayed he wouldn’t speak within the following seconds… my blood pressure had risen so swiftly I was sure the steady thumping in my ears would prevent me from hearing a word he said. “Do you want to come in for a little while?” I asked. “Nah,” He replied quietly, “I actually have to be somewhere. I just wanted to come by and drop off your birthday present.” “Oh… okay.” I stared down at the ground as he walked around to the passenger side of his truck. He reemerged before me with a large bouquet of red, white, and pinks roses and a small, red gift bag.

Not a single word was spoken as he handed me the bag and flowers then slowly began to retreat backwards to the driver’s side of his truck “Happy Birthday Sy’Diyah and um… I’ll try to call you tomorrow to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day alright.” Before I knew it, he’d climbed into his truck and reversed out of my driveway, leaving me standing and staring like a fool. I released a remorseful sigh and glanced down at the flowers and gift bag he left me. I couldn’t believe what’d just panned out in the span of a few minutes. I felt utterly ashamed at what I’d just done and I wanted nothing more than to race up to my room and curl up in a ball and cry.

Suddenly feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders, I turned and headed up the porch and into the house. I marched directly to my room and situated the roses on my dresser then sat at the edge of the bed with the gift bag still dangling in my hand. As much as I tried, I couldn’t bring myself to wipe the image of Trey’s humiliated and disappointed face from my mind. I gulped nervously as I pulled the bag open and reached in, retrieving a small jewelry box. The moment I cracked the box open, I gasped and slapped a hand over my mouth as I stared through watery eyes at the diamond encrusted heart shaped ring resting in a small velvet indention.

I plucked it from the confines of the box and twirled it between my fingers, becoming so enthralled by it that I nearly overlooked the card in the bottom of the bag. I reached a trembling hand inside and pulled the card out then popped the seal of the envelope open and slid the card out, instantly admiring Trey’s beautifully printed scripture...

A few months ago, God placed a very special girl in my life. She came into my world and flipped the entire classic fairytale of a prince sweeping the princess off her feet into her very own tale. It was she who swept the prince off his feet, so much so that he became permanently stuck not on cloud nine, but a cloud of infinity. This girl, wasn’t in any way equivalent to any girl that the prince had ever come across… she was much, much more. If you haven’t figured it out by now, this girl, the beautiful princess that blew the prince’s mind into complete oblivion, just happens to be you… Sy’Diyah Hope Donsen. I know that what I feel with you isn’t like anything I’ve ever felt with anyone in my life Sy. I know that if any man was as lucky as me to have you in his life, he wouldn’t dare let you go. Let me be that lucky man to hold onto you… let me make you mine. The ring that you’ve probably already seen by now is meant to show you how much I care for you. No, I’m not proposing to you or trying to bribe you with jewelry… it’s merely a promise ring. It’s my depiction of a promise to you that if you allow me to sweep you off your feet, I’ll never put you down again. I hope that you have a wonderful birthday, even though I won’t be there to share it with you.

With much love, From your, hopefully soon to be, man… Trey xoxoxo

The tears streamed freely down my cheeks and I had not a single desire to stop them. What had I done? This wasn't right at all. It was completely wrong. He wasn’t supposed to possess such strong feelings for me. I wasn’t supposed to be torn between him and Chris. What was I supposed to do? I closed the card and slid it back into the confines of the envelope then stuffed it along with the ring box back into the bag. I’d become numb to any feelings of happiness and pleasure and after placing the bag on the floor beside my bed, I moved further up near the headboard and grabbed a pillow to stuff my face into and eventually cried myself to sleep.

#chrisbrown #chrisbrownff #chrisbrownfanfic #jasminesanders #chrisbrownfanfiction #jasminesandersff #teambreezy #teambreezyff #fanfiction #fanfic

[hh-sinners]

HHw/SK The MAD TEA PARTY Ch.1 LATE FOR AN IMPORTANT DATE

Hazbin Hotel with Sinner’s Key: The Mad Tea Party

Chappie 1: Late for An Important Date

Inspired by Brandon Roger’s “Mad tea Party” youtube videos.

ALL CHARACTERS AND ELEMENTS OF HAZBIN HOTEL BELONGS TO VIVIENNE MEDRANO

Sinner’s fan-character concept belongs to me. Special thanks to @tremendousmiraclecherryblossom​ for co writing and editing!

(your Sinner wakes up in their bed, but finds themselves looking up at the sky instead of the ceiling of their room in the hotel. As they get up they find they are in a poorly taken care of field/garden, and they realize they’re no longer wearing their pjs, but an outfit similar to:

(Note; the colors and card suite can be whatever you want for your Sinner’s alice outfit. In case it isn’t that visible, left one is clubs and right one is hearts for the ref pic above.You can also change the shoes, sleeve length, style of the outfit etc X3 )

Sinner: why am I wearing this and where the f*ck are my pjs?

(as they’re looking around, they hear noises. Following them they find some familiar faces around a table…Angel, Husk, Vaggie, Niffty and Crymini to be precise, in weird looking costumes)

Sinner; ...what’s everyone doing-? How’d they get the ENTIRE dining room table outside?! (they approach)

Angel: (shoots his head up….and grins) Well WELL!! G’MORNIN’ SLEEPIN’ BEAUTY!!

Niffty: heehee!! Wrong story Angel!

Sinner; what-? Why’re you guys all dressed like that?

Angel: ...huh, I could aks you th’ same thing! (looks at a piece of paper) OY! HUSK!! We didn’t cast (Sinner’s name) did we?

Husk: ..this is our Alice, I dragged their bed out here and got them in the stupid dress/suit.

Sinner: (clutches self feeling violated) that only raises more questions.

Angel; th’ F*CK?! I thought CHARLIE was gonna be Alice?!

Husk: ...it’s not? ….Wait. ...that’s not Charlie? ...f*ck (pours some tea)

Niffty; she was busy! but like Husk said, (Sinner’s name) was available!!

Vaggie: you mean “vulnerable”?

Niffty: Yeah that! :D

Angel; ….ah hell with it, kid looks better as Alice an’ makes a better Alice! Anyway, Grab a seat (Y/S’s nickname)

Sinner; … (sits) is this some sort of..cosplay?

Vaggie; More of a cult. before you ask, it was Angel’s idea.

Crymini: YEAH! He found this cool @$$ art book he showed us! Some f*cked up psycho version of Alice in Wonderland-

Vaggie: MY “Alice Madness Returns” art book you took from me TWO WEEKS AGO!?

Angel; ...Well no sh*t how ELSE were we gonna get yeh to come?

Vaggie: … (takes a huge gulp of tea)

Angel; WELP!! (to Sinner) don’ know about th’ rest of these party poopers, but I’M having too much fun in “Wonderland,” whatta about y’alls? :D

Niffty: (singing) YEEEEEEESSS!

Sinner; uh...wait...what are you?

Niffty: I’M A SINGING FLOOOOWWEEERR!

Sinner: Ok…

Vaggie; yeah, she’s a flower, Angel’s running this as the Mad hatter, I’m the cheshire cat…

Angel: we “Purrsuaded” Husky here to be our March Hare ;)

Husk: free drinks. That’s all I’m sayin’

Angel: (bends over, floofs chest, and wiggles hips) along with other benefits.

Husk: … (continues drinking)

Sinner; (looks over to Crymini) ..what the hell are you?

Crymini: I’m A MUTHER F*CKIN’ JABBERWOCK!! >:D

Angel; an’ with the intros outta th’ way and FINALLY findin’ an Alice, here’s to havin’ more children fallin’ through our rabbit holes. (raises cup).

Niffty: YYYAAAAYYYYY!!! (splashes tea all over the place)

Husk: stoppit Niff, yer waistin’ all the booze!! (Tea splashes on husks face, he remains silent and licks it off)

Sinner; So wait, this isn’t tea?!

Vaggie; it is, some of it’s just spiked.

Angel: NIFFTY’S CLEANED CUP! EVERYBODY CLEAN CUPS, MOVE YER @$$ES!

(they all shove each other into new chairs. Niffty dances away as Sinner accidentally ends up in Husk’s lap)

Sinner; O.o uh-

Angel: awwww I wanted Alice t’sit on MY lap!

Husk; Well they’re on MY lap, and I’m too lazy to get em’ up (burps)

Sinner; Ew >^<

Angel; Oh YEH!? Well it’s MY party, MY RULES! An’ I want em’ on MY lap!

Husk: Nope. too lazy.

Angel; YES! Gimmie Alice!

Husk: Nope

Sinner; Uh, do I get a say in-?

Angel/Husk: NOPE.

Husk: grab a drink an’ have a smoke kid, it’s gonna be a long one.

Sinner; I don’t smoke OR drink! ..isn’t there anything to eat?

Niffty: COOKIES!

Sinner; Oh good-

Vaggie; they have drugs in them

Sinner; ...which ones-?

Angel: ALL O’ THEM! O3O

Sinner; (crawls off Husk’s lap under the table, hoping to get away...and into Niffty’s empty seat, as she’s rolling around the ground) ok, NOW I think I’ll have that drink…

Vaggie: Welcome to the club (pours sinner a cup) Angel and Niffty are hogging all the cookies anyway. (looks over at Angel) How’s the “special K” Hat-hole?

Angel: Ugh, f*ckin cookies don’t taste strong enough, puttin’ me in a bad mood (looks at Husk) ...whut th’ f*ck you lookin’ at hare?

Husk; what?

Angel: ..yer ears look like a f*ckin’ bat did em’

Husk: You’re the one who shoved me into this hat.

Sinner; (takes a big sip of tea...only to spit it back out) YUCK!!! What kind of tea is this?! It’s NASTY!

Vaggie; it’s herbal, there was NO WAY I was letting these ADDICTS spike up caffeinated tea

Angel: Kid, when you have this tea, CREAM AN’ SUGAR DON’T DO SH*T! YOU GOTTA SCOTCH IT UP! ..also I blame Vaggie

Vaggie; THEN NEXT TIME YOU GET THE DAMN TEA!

Husk: Well if he HAD gotten it, we wouldn’t be stuck with THIS CRAP

Angel: You callin’ me LAZY?!

Crymini: (to Niffty, who’s still on the ground rolling around) NIFFTY STOP PHOTOSYNTHESIZING AT THE TABLE!!

Niffty: I NEED TO LIIIIVE!!!

Husk/Vaggie; STOP SCREAMING!

Angel; y’know whut? You wanna be the damn Cheshire Hatter or some sh*t? FINE!! YER PARTY NOW! (plops the hat onto her head, beginning to march off)

Husk: (Clearly intoxicated) HEY B*TCH! TAKE YER *HIC* DAMN CHAIR WITH YOU! (throws chair at Angel, which hits him in the leg)

Angel; OW!! YOU MOTHA’-!!

Vaggie: What the hell Husk!?

Husk: B*tch thinks she can just walk out and leave me here with her f*ckin’ mess?!

Crymini: … *awkward cough*

Niffty: ….is that what happened to Husk’s last Sweetie?

Sinner: Uh oh-!

(Angel snarls, eyes flashing pink before he picks up the chair and races towards Husk)

Husk: Oh Sh*t-! (flies off, Angel chasing him around)

Angel: COME BACK HERE AN’ CALL ME A B*TCH AGAIN Y’LAZY @$$ HERBAL SH*T DRINKING PIECE OF CRAP!!

Niffty: YAY FREE CHAIR!! (sits Husk’s chair as Angel chases Husk around. She takes a sip of Husk’s extra-spiked tea)

Vaggie; NIFFTY DON’T-!

(Niffty gets a blank expression then falls out of said chair)

Sinner; Niffty?!

Vaggie; Niffty! Are you ok?! Niffty-?!?!

Angel: (As he and Husk stop their chase) ooooo… ...that’s not good.

Crymini:; Sh*t….we shouldn’t have let her eat those damn cookies!

Vaggie: sure dress the PSYCHO-DOLL like a character from an acid trip film and offer her drugs. I couldn’t POSSIBLY see that ending badly.

Sinner:: Uh, Vaggie? Y’sure she’s-?

(Niffty suddenly opens her eye, which is dilated and red, and gets up hissing!)

Sinner; WTF?!!

Angel: OH SH*T TH’ F*CKIN” FLOWER’S POSSESSED!

Crymini: RUN!

Niffty: (demonic screeching, starts chasing random misfits around the table. Vaggie hides under the table with Cry only to have Niffty flip it over. Vaggie hisses at her, trying to calm her down...but Niffty continues chasing)

Husk: (getting chased) F*CKIN’ SPOOK B*TCH! (he and Angel set up a table while Niffty chases Cry and Vaggie)

Angel: ALICE DO SOMETHIN’!

Sinner; ME!??!?

Angel; YER ALICE! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO SAVE WONDER-F*CK!! (Niffty grabs chair and throws it into the table) SAVE US ALICE WAAAGH!

(Sinner-Alice charges at Niffty, grabbing her and spinning her around, trying to pin her, tackle her etc. eventually Niffty, mid chase/struggle, knocks Sinner off, and they find themselves falling...falling…)

??: (Your Sinner’s Name)? Wake up!!

(Your Sinner wakes up in their own bed!)

Sinner: Wh-?! What-!?

Charlie: (leaning over them) Are you alright?! You were kicking all over the place!

Sinner; er...yeah..I had this weird dream* ….nevermind. Um, why are you in my room?

Charlie; OH!! Well, actually, I wouldn’t have come in if I hadn’t heard you thrashing...but I wa going to slip this under the door (hands them a piece of paper)

Sinner; ….”Come to Angel Hatter’s-*” ….Wonderland...tea-party?

Charlie: originally the invite was for me, but something came up..which is a shame, because I was going to be Alice!

Sinner; Like...this party is a cosplay or role play?

Charlie; yeah! But since I’m busy, I told them that maybe YOU could take my place! Niffty even made out a costume for you! (Holds up (Sinner’s fave color) outfit like the one from the dream) What you think?

Sinner; ….will the tea be spiked?

Charlie; knowing Husk will be there? Most likely...personally, I’m hoping that will be the only thing Angel’s planned for this party. This sounds dangerously less destructive than his usual antics.

(As Sinner is looking over their outfit, they notice something tucked in the pocket of their apron...an EMPTY mini liquor bottle with a sticker on it that says “Drink me <3” In Angel’s handwriting)

Sinner; …’I think I’ll need that drink

TBC?!?

SO!! What did you guys think of this crazy Wonderland-esqu Hazbin Hotel fan script?! Thanks to @tremendousmiraclecherryblossom for co-writing with me, and of course fanart and your own spin/ideas on this little fan concoet are welcome! X3

Chappie two coming soon! ..what/ You think this was the only one? X3 (Giggles evilly, sipping some peppermint tea...only to immediately spit it out) ANGEL!!!! DID YOU SPIKE MY TEA?!?

Angel: HUSK DIDIT! X3

#Hazbin Hotel #Demon Misfits #Vivziepop #Vivienne Medrano #Alice in Wonderland #Mad tea Party #Misfit sinners #fan character #alice #wonderland #Angel Dust #vaggie #husk #niffty #crymini #fan script #oc #tremendousmiraclecherryblossom