Say what you will about Van Helsing 2004; hate it, love it, be indifferent, But the All-Hallow's masquerade ball went sooooo hard and it had zero right to do so! It's a fun, campy, monster mash movie with wonderfully dated ( and expensive) cgi and non-stop action meant to be a popcorn flick one takes out to watch around spooky season. And it has this* chef's kiss* GORGEOUS 6 minute sequence plopped arbitrarily in the second act, which unexpectedly surpasses nearly every other ball in the last 30+ years of film( notable exception being the Cinderella 2015 ball) for literally no reason other than to be dramatic af.
Like feast your eyes on this Gothic masterpiece!!! Who doesn't want to immediately live in this picture?!??
They used those candles with oil in them so that they would have real candles, real string orchestra( I believe), probably around 100 real life extras( something which is tragically absent in modern film), said extras are all in beautiful fully decked-out costumes( which are in luxuriously dark colours, but nearly no fully black, another thing you cannot say for much modern cinema), REAL CIRQUE DU SOLEIL PERFORMERS for all the acrobatics!!!! Hell, instead of filming in a sound stage, where they could control the reverb and the acoustics and the size of the set and the bloody lighting ( they apparently had a heck of a time emulating the firelight for this sequence) and the temperature( it's very cold in stone churches!) better, they filmed in a Baroque church in Prague! As I said, peak dramatic splendour, jfc...
Think about that a second...They filmed a vampire masquerade in a Baroque Catholic Church( St. Nicholas' in Lesser Town, if you were curious) with amazing over-the-top acoustics and marble statues and real, tiled floors and marble pillars and a choir loft which they very much utilized, covered the pipe organ and the altar with a grand brocade curtain so it wouldn't be so obviously a, you know, a church! And there's a gold gilt elevated and canopied pulpit into which they put two vampire kiddies for, again, the sake of being dramatic.
And the costumes! They remind me of the 25th anniversary Phantom of the Opera Masquerade costumes. Same quality, like they're old, well-cared-for costumes pulled out of a warehouse, instead of fast industry churn-outs. With lots of trim and colour and masks and lace and feathers and..just...ugh.. they are all perfect! Just look at all the head pieces on the ladies and the hats on all the gentleman ( save Dracula of course) and the powdered wigs on the musicians. ANNNNDD! The dresses are historically correct!!!!!! It's the 80's bustle era! Nobody does the 80's bustle era in film anymore and it's a bummer. Oh and one other thing! Anna's ( and other women's) hair, at least here in the ball, is also historically accurate because it's all pinned up! None of those fucken modern beachwaves at a ball! Everybody's got updo's!
Gah, I swear, Dracula in his gold cloak really does things to me in this scene!
By the way, the acrobatics are bonkers in here for just background stuff!! Especially the random guys on unicycles and the dude playing the violin whilst standing on a ball...Like....WHAT?
Anyways, all this to say, that this masquerade ball feels sooo real and tangible and because of that it blows every other film out of the water, and no, I will not change my mind!!!!!
Here's a few more gifs, bcuz, why the hell not, this scene is sexy as fuu*ck?
Alright I need to go to bed now.
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UNNECESSARY AND UNHINGED RANT ABOUT CINDERELLA'S CHARACTER FROM CINDERELLA (2015) INCOMING
Lemme talk about Cinderella from Cinderella (2015) for a bit actually yeah because these changes to my girl completely baffle me
She has friends now
Goes outside on her own
Says the only reason why she's staying is because it's her parent's house- bruh.
All of this takes away (+ more reasons down the cut) from the true cruelty of OG!Cinderella's backstory and how it all connects so well to inform you of her character and the actions she takes
OG!Cinderella has been indoctrinated into accepting her life as a maid to her step family since she was a small child. She is never seen going outside of the house besides the night at the ball. The only friends she had were random animals around her she couldn't even fully converse with. She had no other human perspective on her situation or how to get out of it. It makes sense why she's just taking her stepmother's tyranny while holding everything in because this isolation and neglect is all she knows. This is the entire limited scope of her world. A sad reality to many cases of abuse in real life.
And they just. Erased all of this for some. Reason???
The night at the ball was a big deal because she literally NEVER gets to go out. This is the only time she interacts with the outside world aside from the ending. The impact of that was HUGE in the original movie. The new one just cheapened that imo by implying she goes out in town and talks to others regularly. This event was an impossible, fantastical dream come true to someone who is never treated as anything but a servant to everyone she knows.
Basically OG!Cinderella has it way worse which is what makes the ball such a huge deal in the first place.
Third point I don't think I need to explain how Cinderella staying in her abusive home bc the house is "hers to love now that her parents are dead" is not a good character change and doesn't make sense. I would understand if her dad was alive and insisting on staying, but he is GONE. It is a building you grew up in sure, but that's all it is. Not something you sacrifice your wellbeing for. So that's a shit reason they didn't need to make up to say why this character is stuck in her abusive household. The isolation and years of gaslighting were enough. (Also showing how much of a frightening presence and manipulative villain Lady Tremaine is.)
And she sure left it quick after getting hitched lol
The Fairy Godmother having the audacity to test Cinderella with that "oh I'm a poor old woman and I want some milk please" nonsense
Not very godmotherly of her in this version. 🥴 The Fairy Godmother appeared in the original to offer pure comfort to Cinderella in a time of desperate need, when this resilient and kind spirit finally reached her breaking point. The dress, slippers, pumpkin carriage, and magic were all given freely as a present to make her feel better at least for one night.
Meanwhile this goofy ass Godmother has the audacity to be like "hey is she gonna be nice or not even though she's crying in tattered, recently destroyed clothing- I need to see that or else she doesn't get the magic juice". Like why did this become a way to test her morality all of a sudden? Why did you need something from her to give up the magic goods?? It's not even a good test she just walked a couple steps and poured some milk in a bowl,,,
Idk man they made their relationship transactional for no reason which taints the original purpose of this scene imo. The original Fairy Godmother already KNEW Cinderella was kind without having to make sure by disguising herself as a rancid old lady. 😭 Weird and unnecessary addition.
Kinda nitpicky here but this film did not at all match the terror of the torn dress scene which really shows you how horrifying and humiliating it was to Cinderella
Comparison
AND THE BIGGEST OFFENDER: THE WAY SHE "ESCAPED".
I NEED TO TAKE A BREATH
BECAUSE LIKE. WHAT WAS THAT.
Original Cinderella, seeing a real chance of escape from her abuse, uses everything in her possession to do so. She's yelling for the mice to get the key, to get Bruno to chase away the cat, running down to meet the prince's attendants to make sure they get the proof of her identity from her- and that moment she oh-so-casually pulled out the second slipper??? SEEING HER STEPMOTHER'S SLACKED JAW??? GAGGED US ALL.
ICONIC
But 2015. Bitch. What is going on. She gets locked up and easily accepts her doom. She just twirls and sings in her prison like a dunce because cINDerELLa wAs aLReADy cONTenT wIth her sMaLL mOMEnts oF hAPPIneSs anD dREamS wItH thE pRinCE.
Just. Gives up.
Not the mice begging her to get up and save herself come on now
The mice have to do their best on their own to push open her window so the prince and his crew hear her on time.
And yeah, all she had to do was open a window.
WHAT. WHY. HOW. WAS THIS??? MORE EMPOWERING???
1950: use your brain to fight to the very end
2015: quit while you're still ahead, or don't try you just gotta dance and sing all pretty then someone will come along and save you
I'm sorry, but for a production that was so critical of the notion of "Cinderella just waited around for a prince to save her"...is that not literally what they changed the ending to?
You wanna talk about lack of agency in princess stories well here you go 😭
You know what's sad about all this in the end is this is still the best recent live action Disney remake imo LOL
Anyways hello if you've made it all the way down here I rest my case
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Cinderella is so much stronger than modern girl characters.
Seriously guys. Please tell me: what's harder to do? Give up your rights, your home, and your privileges without ever stooping to the level of your petty abusers? Staying kind and true to what you know is right?
Or popping off a mouthy one-liner that you've just been dying to use to put the haters in their place? Using your fighting superpowers to take what you want?
Which one is harder? Which one is braver? Which one takes more patience, steadfast character, and, to put it plainly, faith?
It's not hard to take out your anger on small-souled, loveless, hollow people who don't know how to be anything other than cruel. It's easy. It's on the tip of our tongue as soon as we're insulted or hurt or our rights are infringed upon.
It's also not hard to slip into yourself and hide from the world, think only about how you've been wronged and how to preserve yourself. Forget about anyone or anything else besides making it through the next day. It's not fun, but it's easy, especially when she's suffering.
It's also not hard to become hard, bitter. Take little bits and pieces of revenge--maybe she can't stand up to her enemies, maybe her situation is too dangerous to fight back, but she could be angry. She could get hard and calloused, hate them with every look, and find opportunities to keep them from having what they want.
What's so much harder is to take the situation and rise above it. Not to let the circumstances control your life, but also your response. To choose to be kind and pity your enemies, wish they could reform, serve them, even love and forgive them. And while you're doing that, you're taking every opportunity to be kind and find ways to serve others. Instead of saying, "I've got enough to deal with," saying, "oh, let me help even the smallest of creatures, even if it's just with something small, even if I'm buried under my own mountain of abuse and businesses." It's way harder.
That's why she's stronger than Raya, and Mei, and any of the Live Action remakes of anyone but Cinderella.
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