Midnight Pals: Cowboys
m Stoker: i've got a great story for you all tonight
Koontz: dracula?
Stoker: no dean it's not dracula
Barker: you have other stories besides dracula?
Stoker:
Stoker: yes clive i do have other stories
Barker: damn big if true!
Stoker: what are you implying clive? i have plenty of stories!
Stoker: i'm not some one hit wonder like mary
Mary Shelley: whoa there cowboy
Shelley: maybe you wanna back that the fuck up?
Stoker: i'm sorry mary, i didn't mean it
Stoker: clive got me all riled up
Barker: tho bram does raise an interesting point
Shelley: oh does he? does he raise an interesting point? and what would that point be clive?
Shelley: think real careful before you answer
Barker: i
Shelley: real careful
Shelley: real fuckin careful
Barker:
Barker: i withdraw the point
Shelley: i wrote plenty of stories
Shelley: not my fault you lot only wanna hear frankenstein all the fuckin time
Stoker: see? that's exactly what i'm saying
King: ah jeez we're sorry guys
King: it's just that, ya know…
King: dracula! frankenstein!
King: they're so iconic
King: they just distract us from all the other stories that you guys apparently wrote
Stoker: that's better
Stoker: i didn't JUST write dracula
Stoker: i also wrote the lair of the white worm
Barker: oh yeah we all remember THAT one
Poe: clive
Koontz: do the song!
Stoker: the song's not in the story
Barker: oh but the song does slap
Poe: dean loves the song
Poe: we all love the song
Stoker:
Stoker: siiigh
Stoker: [clapping, tapping foot] ohhhh john dampton went a-fishin', a-fishin' by the weir…
Stoker: you all remember the cowboy in dracula?
King: of course! the cowboy was the best part!
Stoker: well, what would you say if i wrote a story that was ALL cowboys?
King:
King: so like a western?
Stoker: a what?
Stoker: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the shoulder of shasta
Stoker: a rollicking romance of the old west starring city gal Esse Elstree and rootin' tootin' cowpoke Grizzly Dick-
Barker: wait
Barker: haha wait
Barker: wait ha ha ha ha i'm sorry
Barker: what was ha ha ha
Barker: what ha ha ha ha
Barker: haha what was that name again ha ha
Stoker: Grizzly Dick
Barker: hoo ha ha ha oh my GOD
Barker: ha ha ha
Barker: edgar ha ha
Barker: edgar don't you ha ha ha
Barker: don't you have anything to say ha ha hoo
Poe: cliiiivfffffppppphhhbbttttttahhaah ha ha
Stoker: what's so funny?
Barker: nothinggggha ha ha
Stoker: do you think there's something funny about Grizzly Dick?
Barker: ha ha haaa
Stoker: Grizzly Dick is the best part of the story!
Barker: ha ha haaaaaa
Stoker: I love Grizzly Dick! Grizzly Dick is my favorite part!
Stoker: my wife loves Grizzly Dick!!
Barker: hahahahohgodi'mdying
Stoker: next you're going to act like there's something funny about Esse Elstree's stern governess
Stoker: miss gimp
Barker: HA HAH HAHAAAAA
Stoker: i'm not going to tell the story if you're going to laugh
Barker: haha ok ok i'll stop
Stoker: ok good
Stoker: so anyway Grizzy Dick says
Stoker: [ridiculous cowboy voice] "HOWDY PARDNA YIPPEE KAI YAY GIT ON A ROOTIN AND A TOOTIN-"
Barker: AHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Robert E Howard: ain't nothin funny about this, hombre
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Writer/Director Clive Barker on the set of the first Hellraiser movie.
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Hellraiser (1987)
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How the heck is there not more talk about Tanith Lee??
Like my gosh, the woman wrote, according to her wiki, 90 books, over 300 short stories, two World Fantasy Awards, and was the first woman to win the British Fantasy Award/Augus Derleth Award and wrote for tv shows.
Like, it's not like she just wrote a heck ton but wasn't very good! She was clearly very good she won awards, and i've read a swath of her stuff across different genres and really enjoyed most of it. I mean that even if not each one has been my cup of tea I can at least appreciate the skill and quite a lot I have truly enjoyed. She's got great prose and style and imagination. Not everything obviously was a banger, but they've all been at least well written, which is harder to come by in writing than you might think.
But nobody ever seems to talk about her?? And I feel like the fantasy crowd on here would really enjoy her stuff. The woman has done stuff in pretty much every genre from what I can see, but I never see her listed on fantasy authors like Clive Barker or Diana Wynne Jones or Neil Gaiman or Terry Pratchett or Diane Duane even though she was writing at the same time and has a similar sort of '80s Doing Cool Stuff with Fantasy vibe' I feel like people who like those authors would enjoy though she's very much her own style of author.
Anyway this was really just me putting out a rant that such a prolific and talented author seems to have fallen by the wayside and I think it's really a shame
Heck she even did a witch-queen fighting againt vampire Snow White a whole decade before Neil Gaiman did his phenomenal Snow Glass Apples and it's also excellent, give a look here:
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Clive Barker x mcfarlane toys ‘tortured souls’ concept art
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Clive Barker
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Baphomet, Peloquin, Shuna Sassi, Vasty Moses, Kinski, Frick, Mexico, The Berserker, Kushnir Day, Leroy Gomm, Scorch, and Lude from the Nightbreed (1990)
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Midnight Pals: Cool Kids
Sam Richard: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the cartoon with a satanic grimoire in it
King: see, that's why we don't let dean watch tv
Richard: oh you shouldn't do that
Richard: kids gotta be free to explore
Koontz: you guys stop talking about me like i'm not here
King: dean it's for your own good
Koontz: stop it! i'm not just some little kid!
King: i don't know where he gets this
King: he's been so willful lately
King: he's been hanging out with that grady hendrix kid too much
King: a bad influence if you ask me
Grady Hendrix: [jumping sick flip on skateboard]
Koontz: wowwwww
Hendrix: hey dean you wanna hang out behind the school and put on some sunglasses
Koontz: i
Koontz: i don't think i'm supposed to do that
Hendrix: what's the matter dean? you chicken?
Koontz: no! I'm not chicken!
Hendrix: all the cool kids are doing it
Koontz: what??
Koontz: well if all the cool kids are doing it, it can't be wrong
Hendrix: the first pair is free
Koontz: [wearing sunglasses] hey guys
King: Dean Raymond Koontz!! What is THAT on your face?
Koontz: nothin'
King: are you wearing sunglasses?
Koontz:
Koontz: maybe
King: well you can take those off right now mister
Koontz: you can't make me
Koontz: you're not my dad!
King: that's RIGHT, dean
King: because my boy joe would NEVER do something this irresponsible
King: my boy joe is good as gold!
Joe Hill: dad please stop
Barker: pfft c'mon steve let him live a little
King: this might not seem like a big deal to you clive
King: but today it's sunglasses
King: tomorrow it's a leather jacket!
Koontz: neil gaiman wore a leather jacket in his author photo
King: that's different
King: he's an adult
King: leather jackets can be worn in moderation by responsible adults
Mary Shelley: sup fuckers
Barker: go ahead dean show mary your new look
Koontz: [wearing sunglasses]
Shelley:
Shelley: ahahahaha
Shelley: fucking hell yeah
Koontz: [wearing sunglasses] watch out everyone i'm a real no goodnik
Koontz: so you better watch out!!
Koontz: i'm one bad banana!!
Shelley: ha ha oh my god
Shelley: did you teach him to say that
Barker: no he just came up with it himself!
Shelley: ha ha that's wild
Barker: i know right??
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Hellraiser (1987) | dir. Clive Barker
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