AN ESSAY ON CECILY HERONDALE
This is based on her before CP2 and just a bit of the first chapter of CP2, I would like to do one centered on after she meets Gabriel as I find their relationship one of the best written of TSC and also one of the most healthy so if anyone wants to hear about that tell me and I’ll tag.
Tagging @livia-dovehallow who wanted to hear my thoughts, thanks on that
I wanted to talk about this character as I think is quite overlooked when she actually passed on through a very hard time and has a lot of layers that make her very interesting.
First of all let's start talking about pre tid, is canon and sentenced in the book of Notable Shadowhunters that since she was little she shown great abilitie for being a shadowhunter, we also see this in CP2 multiple times, like after barely few months she already masters knife throwing, she is very disciplined and she paralels a lot Edmund in that. In Edmund's short story after coming with Magnus from a party in a pub, even being drunk, when he sees a demon attacking someone he inmediately goes after him, it's the same as when Cecily goes after Benedict's demon form, both of them become fearless when that rises, a thing Will points out when he tells Cecily that demon hunting runs in their veins and is like lighting a match.
This is actually very significant on her, as she would have always wanted to be part of that world but knew that if she did she would cease to see her family, even before everything bad happened, to have since a child to repress your inner self is a hard thing, as you would always have the feeling of wanting more, of wondering "what if", so when Ella dies and Will leaves, she knows that if she actually goes after what she deep down really wants it would break her parents so she has to shut that down, which is hard, because is like you are being caged and unable to fly as you would want.
We know from Will that Cecily was a very clingy and open affectionate person, so after Will leaves and Ella dies she has to watch both her parents into a very dark hole where she is prived from attention, and even whne they did actually payed her attention it would be as she says of them recalling the other two, so this can also make someone feel like no matter what you do you would never be enough. Also Edmund starts drinking a lot, and Linette basically drowns in sorrow, we also know that they lived far away so that increments the feeling of loneliness. Having to see your father get drunk almost nightly and him gambling which would have also produced fights between him and Linette and seeing that you are not being paid attention is hard, because even though it's very hard to lose a child it's also hard to see how your parents lose themselves so much that they are not the same with you.
Also Linette was canonically rich so if they had to go where Mortamin gave them a house, it means that even her family stopped to talk to them, so this also increments the feeling of loneliness, as the only people she saw was her parents and servants and she hadn't anyone to talk to.
Then we know that at 12 she was asked to join shadowhunters, and she said no, so this was also hard, becuase she prefered to stay in a home that didn't feel like that rather than to be on what she really wants.
It's also that she might have felt like she was the one supposed to save the family, so this also makes you mature fast.
Then in York probably is when she started receiving clasess on how to be a lady, so eventhough we know that her parents didn't like anyone to be her partner, it would have probably happen in a short time
Like I could see her being presented at 16 in an effort to do a profitable marriage to save the family, which would have been hard as her reputation was not in the best state
Then she sees someone who says that her brother wanted to know she was fine, so I think thats the breaking point on which she decides to go to London
And when she gets there Will barely talks to her, just snaps at her, it is because he doesn't want to see her die like Ellla, but this also is rejecting her, so Cecily would have to face once again to be rejected
Feeling like you are rejected no matter what is hard, because it's like you have a paved road ahead of you, but she is stubborn so she stays in an institute where everyone else is too caught up in their own problems so eventhough they are friendly it's not like a feeling of belonging yet
I mean there was a big threat at the moment, Jem was dealing with his illness, Chenry with the baby, Gideon with his family... I don't want this to come off as offensive to them of course. I also think that the institute thought that she would eventually leave as it was obvius that Will wouldn't
Also when see sees Jem and finds him pretty, she inmediately thinks that eventhough he wasnt with Tessa that would never happen as Will would be furious if she did anything wrong, so thats again a feeling of not being good enough, a fear of rejection and of abandoment
And then everything changes when she meets Gabriel, I have a lot of thoughts on Gabrily and why I think they are perfect for each other and truly soulmates, and I could do another post only about this as I wanted to center this one most of Cecily pre TID
17 notes · View notes
An Essay on Will of Clockwork Prince and his pain
I think that is not talked enough Will’s pain in Clockwork Prince, aside from the curse, he had to see his family again which for him is sad as the curse said anyone who loved him would die so he may have thought they have stopped loving him as Cecily was alive.
Also Cecily is 15, when Will left she was nine, si when he sees her again she looks older that Ella, so he may have also had glimpses of Ella by seeing Cecily again. Then he has to shallow his feelings everytime, for example when Jem asks him that he thought his sister was dead, he says his sister is dead, eventhough he may have been refering to Ella, he may have also refered to the fact that the idea of Cecily he has is also dead. If we read Will’s perspective on his first kiss with Tessa he is thinking of Cecily while choking on holy water and she is ibviusly imagined as the last time he saw her, so this is a shock from him, because eventhough he may have thought that Cecily would marry and carry on, to see it it’s hurtful as he wouldn’t be part of it. Also the fact that they are living in a Mortmain property which means that they could be killed at any moment and he would have lost his chance of seeing them once again and explaining why he left.
Keep in mind that Will had to face that his father lost everything gambling so his idea of his father also changed, and he would also think of how his sister had to live with that alone, knowing how protective Will is would have hurt him a lot. And he couldn’t talk this with anyone as it would show him vulnerable and lesd people to feel for him a thing he feels he can’t have due to the curse, so he is also shallowing this pain inside.
Then he has to deal with being at a ball with Tessa falling in love more even with her if possible , and then have to turn her away to not hurt her with the curse. Also in York he wants to confort her and can’t, and also earlier we get a repise of their first conversation in the institute when once again they talk about books, and this time Tessa is distant so he faces also losing her as a friend (at least he could have felt so)
Then he has to deal with seeing again the demon that broke him and know that it was in fact fake. Then to see the love of his live being in love with his other half and being unable to be with her without hurting Jem, whom is also dying and he is also facing that
I just think that whether I agree or not with everything Will does or how he behaves, it’s clear that he was having a very bad time not only with love relationship drama but with more and it’s quite a complex situation.
Also I have been thinking on writing one about Cecily so if anyone wants to be tagged to discuss tell me
Tagging @fair-but-wilde-child thanks for wanting hearing me rant about it
36 notes · View notes