Confessions to a Statue - Ch 1
Chapters: 1 | 2
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Chapter 1
Adrien watched the doors close behind Marinette as she literally fled his presence. He wanted to go after her, but he was trapped in place by the mold setting in around his hand. He wasn’t entirely certain his company would be welcome anyway.
Nino insisted that Marinette didn't hate him, but watching her freak out and run the second they were alone together suggested otherwise. And it seemed to him the more the topic came up, that Nino wasn't being totally honest about Marinette either. Though he couldn’t fathom why his best friend would lie about this.
Adrien started when the wailing disembodied wax head flew from the work bench towards him.
“Plagg! Cut it out!” Adrien chastised even as he chuckled weakly.
“Just trying to distract you from your complicated girl problems!”
Maybe Plagg was onto something. Marinette had seemed a bit off. Perhaps he just needed to cheer her up. She didn’t seem uncomfortable around Chat Noir. Perhaps he just needed to throw out some comedy a few times until she was just as comfortable around Adrien.
The timer on his hand went off and he released himself gleefully. He now just needed to find Marinette.
He headed into the exhibition of the “must know” people of Paris. This was the room his own model would be added to shortly.
"Just be cool. Just be cool,” Marinette’s voice echoed from the neighboring display area. Her voice grew louder as she approached.
This was his chance. He stealthily climbed onto the platform, and struck a model pose next to wax Audrey Bourgeois.
Marinette wandered in. And shrieked when she saw him standing before her. If he hadn't had a million hours of practice at holding absolutely still for the camera he would have flinched, but as it was, he was a professional.
She immediately relaxed. "That was the opposite of cool, Marinette," she mumbled to herself. And then glanced up at him and approached. “These wax models look so real,” she commented, leaning in towards him. She was almost close enough. He was going to make her scream and then laugh so hard.
"I'm sorry, Adrien," she said softly. She looked down at her hands for a second before she pierced him with her soulful gaze again.
He held his breath.
"I don't mean to be such a spazz around you. I wish I could talk to you. I wish I could carry on a conversation with you like a normal person. I wish you could see me for me. But it's not your fault that you can't. I don't ever let you see me."
He almost spoke then. He couldn't stand the pain in her voice. And he hated even the idea that he had any part in putting it there. But he also didn’t want to intrude on what suddenly felt like a very personal moment.
"I'm just scared. I'm scared you won't look at me the same way if you know."
Her eyes were so blue like the sky just after noon, so sincere.
"I'm just crazy about you."
Wait! What?!
“Since the second day we met and you gave me your umbrella even though you thought I hated you. You were so kind. And you’ve always been kind. You’re so patient with me every time I spazz out. You see the best in everyone - give everyone the benefit of doubt. Even someone like Lila who does not deserve it.”
His heart constricted in his chest. He wasn’t supposed to be hearing this. It was unfair that she was pouring her heart out and she didn’t know he could hear her. But he couldn’t help but drink in every word like a a man without water in the desert.
“You also seem to handle so much. And as someone who has a hard time juggling all my responsibilities, I really look up to you."
"And it doesn't hurt that you’re easy on the eyes too,” she added with a bit of a smirk.
He almost laughed. He really almost did. But he had to keep this pose. They were both in too deep. He would not embarrass her at this point.
"And it makes me nervous and my anxiety gets the better of me. Especially when Alya throws me into spending time alone with you with no warning. And now Nino is in on it too. I'm so doomed!" Her face fell into her hands and her cheeks flamed with embarrassment.
He wanted to reassure her, but what could he say? He couldn't return her feelings.
"But I feel like I'm hurting you with my tendency to run away when I panic. So, I'm going to try to do better! I promise!" She stepped up to the display and her arms wrapped around him.
Dear god, her hug felt so good. He wanted to melt into her form. But he couldn’t. He had to stay frozen.
"Now, I just have to go find you!" She whirled from him and wandered back the way she came. "Just be cool!"
He watched her go. His heart had long since fallen deep into the pit of his stomach.
"You know, I thought this was a terrible idea, but that was amazing kid!” Plagg said, his voice positively gleeful as he hovered over Adrien’s shoulder. “I didn't know you had it in you! To be so deceitful just so you could invade her privacy! Genius!"
Adrien stood there, trying to process what had just happened. He hadn't meant to invade her privacy. But man, a lot of things suddenly made sense. Even Nino being weird suddenly made sense if he and Alya were trying to hook them up.
"You do remember that you're not a statue, right?"
"Not now, Plagg,” Adrien's body wilted in resignation.
"I'm just saying, you might want to not be caught in this particular location. Pigtails is looking for you like right now."
Right. He had to find her. He might still be able to cheer her up somehow.
And he would have, if not for the Akuma.
...
He didn't really have time to think about it until Alya, Nino, and Manon had been dropped off, and it was just him and Marinette in the car together. She looked so defeated, and he stared into his hands unsure of how to fix it. He wished with every fiber of his being that he could return her feelings. Because she was so amazing. She was brave, creative, and someone who fought for the benefit of others.
Ladybug had rejected him so many times, so he didn't have a lot of hope there. He almost wanted to try and see how things could go with Marinette. But that seemed so unfair because she deserved someone who could love her with all of themselves. She didn't need someone who was caught up obsessing over someone else. She deserved so much better than that. She deserved the world.
"Marinette."
"I'm sorry," she said at the same time.
"You can go first," she invited.
"No, no, you should go first," he insisted.
"I'm sorry that I left you in the room alone," she said, staring out the window. "The whole reason we all came to the museum was so you didn't have to be there by yourself, and then we all abandoned you."
"No, it's okay. I'm the one who should be sorry."
"What for?" Her eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion.
Shoot! She had no idea he had been eavesdropping for her whole confession. "For... uh... making you uncomfortable."
"You didn't make me uncomfortable," she reassured with a small smile. "I did that all myself."
"W-what do you mean?"
She sighed. "I... uh..."
He held his breath, suddenly realizing he didn't want Marinette to confess to him. He didn't want to have to break her heart. Is this how Ladybug felt when he confessed to her?
"I... uh... get anxiety sometimes. And when I panic, I f-feel like I can't breathe. I just have to run."
"It must be hard to cope with something like that. You're very brave to face it everyday."
Pink dusted both of her cheeks and he couldn't hold back a smile.
"T-thank y-you," she stammered.
"You remind me of the girl I love," the words were out of his mouth before he thought them through.
"I... oh. I didn't realize that you loved someone," she turned away to gaze out the window, her shoulders slumping forward.
God, he wanted to smack himself. What was wrong with him? Why would he say that?
"Y-yeah," he agreed, searching for some way to fix this. "But she doesn't see me the same way."
"T-that must be hard," she said, her voice cracked.
Was she crying? He really was making a mess of this.
"Marinette?"
"Y-yeah?"
"Thank you for being my friend. It doesn't seem enough to say, but I feel really lucky that you're in my life." And he really wished with every fiber of his being that he could give her more.
"Yeah, I'm g-glad you're in my life, t-too, Adrien," she was smiling again. Her eyes were a bit glassy, but she was smiling. And it looked genuine. Perhaps, that was all he could hope for today.
The car pulled up alongside the bakery and Marinette opened her door.
"See you at school tomorrow?" he called after her.
"Yeah, s-see you at school."
He waved good-bye, and hoped he could make it up to her somehow. Maybe he could help Alya hook her up with Luka or something. The older boy definitely had a thing for Marinette.
...
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In regards to the post I made about Henry earlier, here’s the headcanon 'theory' I have based on all of this:
Basil and Henry had a wonderful romance in college. It was a defining situationship for both of them, perhaps a genuine queer awakening for Henry (as he had toyed with the idea before, but had always seen it as a more ‘edgy way’ to generate outrage, Basil was the first person he genuinely fell in love with) and a validation of interest for Basil (“oh wow, a man really loves me! Neat!”). Regardless, there was certainly a romance between them.
I personally think Henry fucked it up because of commitment issues (Remember, while he complains about marriage, the real criticism is towards commitment as a whole. Being a bachelor gives you options, having to marry them away. He also consistently says 'eternity' scares him. Also Basil points to Henry being unable to understand his love for Dorian because Henry "change[s] too often") which then contributed to the breakdown of their relationship. But still, on Henry’s end, there was an egotistic belief that Basil would never find anyone as good as him (Henry) and therefore Basil was still and would always be his. Thus the violets: he might be in mourning for the nature of their relationship before, but he is faithful to the love they had. (“My dear old Basil, you are much more than an acquaintance.”)
And then Basil finds Dorian.
There’s an interesting thing that happens in the first chapter of the book where Henry never dismisses anything Basil says. In fact he goes out of his way to acknowledge them and expand upon them, even reassuring Basil at certain points. To me, it’s almost like Henry doesn’t grasp the depth of Basil’s love for Dorian. Basil seems to want to keep it that way, while also struggling to do so.
I think Basil's hesitancy is mostly out of guilt: Basil cares about Henry and feels that in some way this is partly a betrayal of their relationship (whatever that is to the both of them). I think it's also partly out of (justified) fear of how Henry will react.
Throughout the first chapter, Basil keeps confessing how much he likes Dorian ‘but only artistically!’, then backtracks hard, the moment Henry shows any interest in meeting Dorian (because that would prove Basil isn't telling the whole truth).
Henry keeps entertaining Basil’s little ‘it’s artistic only, i swear—” until this exchange:
““I am very glad you didn’t, Harry.”
“Why?”
“I don’t want you to meet him.”
“You don’t want me to meet him?”
“No.””
The repeat of Basil's words is extremely important, it points to a double take (literarily!). I believe this is the moment when Henry realizes that Basil’s interest isn’t artistic in any way. And this also marks the moment every action Henry takes towards Basil grows cruel and spiteful. After Parker announces Dorian’s arrival and they head, Henry, for the first time in the intro, fully dismisses what Basil says to him. Dismissing Basil becomes a repeated action through out the rest of the novel.
“Then he looked at Lord Henry. “Dorian Gray is my dearest friend,” he said. “He has a simple and a beautiful nature. Your aunt was quite right in what she said of him. Don’t spoil him. Don’t try to influence him. Your influence would be bad. The world is wide, and has many marvellous people in it. Don’t take away from me the one person who gives to my art whatever charm it possesses: my life as an artist depends on him. Mind, Harry, I trust you.” He spoke very slowly, and the words seemed wrung out of him almost against his will.
“What nonsense you talk!” said Lord Henry, smiling, and taking Hallward by the arm, he almost led him into the house.”
Later when they meet with Dorian. There is an extremely interesting change from the 1890 ver.
1891 ver: “No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him.”
1890: “No wonder Basil Hallward worshipped him. He was made to be worshipped.”
Upon laying eyes on Dorian, Henry realizes he cannot compare at all. Basil didn’t just replace him, Basil sought someone who was nothing like him and far superior to what Henry stood for. What better way to announce you’ve moved on than falling in love with someone completely different and even 'better' than your ex?
After this, Henry forces Basil to ask him to stay. He makes an excuse when Dorian asks and plays coy until Basil finally says : “Stay, Harry, to oblige Dorian, and to oblige me.”
By the way, Basil already asked Henry to stay on Dorian’s behalf (“If Dorian wishes it, of course you must stay. Dorian’s whims are laws to everybody, except himself.”), but Henry wanted Basil to say “I want you to stay. I want you to stay for me, Harry.”
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Confessions to a Statue - Ch 2
Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3
Read on Ao3
Chapter 2
Marinette went rigid in the seat next to him – making her own impression of a wax statue, Adrien surmised. He would have missed it entirely had he not been watching for it. Her anxiety around him had become so obvious, he wondered how he could have been oblivious for so long.
She twisted around in her seat to watch their two best friends retreating forms as they abandoned Adrien and Marinette for their own “lunch date”, before turning back to him with a fragile smile. He beamed back at her, hoping to put her at ease while he internally cursed Alya’s brute-like attempts at matchmaking.
He knew that the aspiring journalist meant well, but she was not actually helping. She had left Marinette alone with him for what had to be the fifth time in as many days. And the poor girl was unraveling on the edges, and trying so hard not to show it.
“So, uh, you are the party… I mean… are you excited about doing Nino! I mean going to Nino’s! Oh god!” Her face fell into her hands. “I thought I was getting better.”
He smiled. Thank god, he didn’t laugh. He had always thought her tendency to mix up words cute, but now that he knew the reason was that she had feelings for him, it was even more endearing. And she was so much easier to understand and read now. That wasn’t the problem.
“Marinette,” Adrien interrupted, cutting off her garbled attempts at a sentence, with a hand on her shoulder.
The problem was he was second guessing every action he took and every word he said. Was putting a hand on her shoulder to calm her down just a kind gesture? Or was it straying into leading her on territory? His tone of voice; was it too friendly when he tried to reassure her that he wasn’t going to bite her? Or was it too firm and direct, giving away that he knew why she was struggling?
“Just breathe for a minute,” he instructed, staring directly into her overblown blue eyes. “Take a minute to think about what you want to say, take another breath, and then say it.”
Forget, leading her on? Was this too condescending? Was it sexist of him to assume that she needed his coaching to get out her words? He was only trying to help, especially since she had shared her struggles with anxiety the week prior. But he didn’t know! And Alya kept stealing Nino away, so he had no one to ask!
He held eye contact as she took a breath and then another, smiling patiently.
“A-Are you excited about Nino’s party this weekend?” she finally asked.
He pulled his hand away and offered her a small smile. “Thrilled. I can’t believe my dad is letting me go to a co-ed sleepover! Nathalie must have talked him into it. It’ll be nice to get to spend time with all my friends. You’re going to be there, right?”
Her cheeks blossomed in pink. She was so cute when she did that.
Focus Agreste!
“If y-you’re there, I would miss it,” she said, her smile bright and genuine. Then her face fell. “I mean! Wouldn’t! I wouldn’t miss it!”
“I figured that’s what you meant,” he said patiently.
She grinned widely at him. “T-Thank you for helping me reset. So, I can get my words out.”
“I’m always happy to support you, Marinette. Anxiety is no joke, and your words are worth waiting for.”
Her blush deepened. It was adorable.
Their ordered lunch arrived, and they chatted about the upcoming party, their classes, and speculated on what powers the next akuma might possess while they ate. The conversation became less awkward as the meal continued. Really, she was only visibly nervous around him now when she was caught off guard. She could talk to him just fine when they were at school or hanging out with their mutual friends. Marinette was right, she had been getting significantly better at being able to talk around him. Alya just kept throwing her into the deep end of the pool, and Marinette’s nerves were likely fried after a week of it.
Adrien didn’t know what to do about any of it except be patient when Marinette’s tongue twisted all that she wanted to say.
Lunch proceeded without incident, but that didn’t stop Adrien from pulling out his phone while Marinette had excused herself to the bathroom to shoot off a text to Alya.
We need to talk.
What’s up, sunshine?
I’d prefer to talk in person. Meet me before school tomorrow?
Sure thing!
...
It had been easy to convince his driver that he had to be at school and hour and a half early for a project. That the project was personal, about and for Marinette, and not any of his classes, remained undisclosed.
“Morning, sunshine!” Alya greeted as she took a seat next to him on a bench outside the school building. “What did you want to talk about?”
He offered her a coffee in a paper to go cup, which she took gratefully.
“You need to stop leaving Marinette alone with me,” he began without preamble.
Her almond eyes narrowed into slits. “Why? You don’t like hanging out with my girl, Agreste?” She was like a mama bear protecting her cub when it came to Marinette.
“No, no, I think the world of Marinette!” he defended, his hands up in surrender. “I love spending time with her. I think that you might... you might be putting too much pressure on her.”
"What are you talking about?" she demanded.
"When she's alone with me it triggers her anxiety. And then when she can't get her words out, she just gets more upset. And you've thrown her into this situation every single day this week. She never gets a chance to recover or breathe. Her panic yesterday was worse than I’ve seen it get in a long time."
"Thrown her into what situation exactly?" Alya asked, her voice smooth and completely innocent.
"Uh... being alone with me?" he stammered.
"But why would that be stressful, Agreste? You're friends, right?” she pointed out. She took a sip of her coffee.
He shrugged, playing for innocence. "You'd have to tell me."
"Nino told you, didn't he?" she pounded a fist onto her lap. "I'm going to kill that boy!"
"No! Nino didn't tell me!" Adrien objected, determined to keep his friend out of trouble with his girlfriend when he hadn't done anything wrong.
"But you know," she accused, her eyes as sharp as Marinette’s needles.
He hesitated. He had no other explanation though. So, he nodded, albeit very reluctantly.
"How?"
His free hand rubbed the back of his neck without thought. He had forgotten what it was like to be under Alya’s gaze when she was in interrogation mode. "Actually, Marinette told me."
Ayla’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Marinette told you what, exactly?"
He had to admit, she was good. She wasn't going to betray Marinette's trust at all by giving him information he hadn’t already admitted to having, which meant if he wanted to truly have this conversation he’d have to come clean. He sighed.
"That she has feelings for me?" He winced at the uncertainty in his own voice.
"So, if she already confessed, why is being in your presence sending the poor girl into anxiety attacks?"
"She doesn't know that she confessed to me?" he offered, completely unable to maintain eye contact.
Alya shook her head. "That makes absolutely no sense."
"Yeah," he agreed, his hand rubbing at the back of his neck soothingly again. He was so screwed. Alya was going to kill him.
"Nino is so dead," she said, coming to her own conclusions.
"No! Wait!” His eyes shot to hers. “It really wasn't him! Marinette did tell me herself. I just... may have been pretending to be a wax statue at the time...?"
"What."
He squirmed under her disbelieving gaze. "Please don't hurt me," his begged, crossing his arms in front of his face in self-defense.
"I'm still undecided. Explain,” she said flatly.
He told her what happened. He spared not a single self-incriminating detail.
"You are such an idiot!” Alya scolded, lightly punching his arm. “Why on earth did you let her go that far?"
"It's not like I knew what she was going to say!” he snapped back, feeling defensive. “I thought she hated me!"
"What? That's ridiculous!" Her eyes flashed towards him.
"Is it? I have if she had a crush on me. I asked more than once! I asked about the pictures on her wall. I asked Nino the morning at the museum! They both said no!
She winced. "Nino lying is probably my fault. But it wasn't his place to tell you!"
He held his hands up in surrender. "Touché."
“And Marinette, she was probably just caught off guard. And she panicked.”
“Yeah, I’m learning that she says a lot of ridiculous things when she’s freaking out,” he said with a soft smile.
Alya smirked knowingly over the rim of her to-go coffee cup. "So, why haven't you asked her out then?"
He stared at her in shock, the smile falling from his face. "What? I... uh... Marinette's just a friend."
Alya’s jaw tightened, and Adrien found himself shifting slightly away from her, less she decided to punch him.
"Like hell she is! The way you give her that fond smile whenever she stumbles over her words! How you follow her with your eyes during class events. How about whenever there’s an akuma you practically body slam Marinette out of harm’s way while ignoring everyone else! That's not how you treat a friend, Agreste!”
His green eyes blinked dumbly, as words failed him completely. Did he really do all those things?
“Ugh!” Alya growled in frustration. “Nino said you always denied having feelings for her, but seriously! We both figured you were just embarrassed or something."
"Alya, I never meant to lead her or anyone else on,” he turned towards her, leaning forward beseechingly. “But I can't. I'm sorry. I'm in love with somebody else."
"Who?” she demanded. “You’re a sheltered child who doesn’t know anyone else!"
"Someone I... work with. It doesn't matter,” he dismissed the question with a wave of his hand. “The point is, Marinette deserves someone that can give her their whole heart. I don't know if I ever could and that's not fair to her. She deserves to be happy."
Alya deflated. "Damn it."
They sat next to each other, staring blankly across the street, in the silence created by the metaphorical dead end they had arrived at together.
Adrien took another sip of his coffee, which had grown lukewarm. "I was thinking that maybe we could try to hook her up with Luka," he offered.
"Luka?" she repeated.
"Yeah, he's clearly into her,” he turned back towards Alya, his eyes bright with enthusiasm. “She can't be totally unaffected. She brought him to the ice rink with Kagami and I." God, he had asked Marinette for help on his date! He was such an insensitive moron. Why had she agreed to help him with Kagami?
"That was her trying to get over you!” Alya countered harshly. “It didn't work. Even Luka could see it."
"Luka knows that Marinette likes me?" His cheeks felt suddenly warm.
"Oh, come on! Everyone knows that Marinette likes you! She’s so obvious! You're just oblivious."
"I didn't," he muttered petulantly, trying to mask his own embarrassment.
"Apparently, you do!"
They stared at each other unhappily.
"So, how do we fix this?" he asked, breaking the silence.
Alya sighed. "I don't think we can. Unless, you're willing to give up on whatever model bimbo has caught your eye?"
He wanted to object. Ladybug was not some bimbo even if he privately thought she could be a model! (But only if she wanted. He didn’t particularly enjoy the role or attention). Instead, he chose not to react, and just shook his head.
"If she ever does manage to confess, promise me you'll be gentle," Alya said, her hazel eyes soft with care for their mutual friend.
"I don't actually want to break her heart," Adrien looked down at his own coffee, finding himself unable to make eye contact.
"Then don't,” she begged. “Give it a chance.”
"I... I want her to be with someone who can make her happy. I don't think I can do that if I'm in love with someone else."
"That's surprisingly mature of you, sunshine." Alya finally conceded.
"So, you're not mad at me?"
"I'm livid!" She punched his arm again for good measure.
He rubbed the affected area even as he scowled at his friend.
"But I get it. I really do.” She looked up at him then, her mouth twisted into a smirk. “So… are you at least going to tell me who this girl is?"
“Oh, hell no! I’ve seen how vicious you can be. There’s no way I’m subjecting myself or her to that.”
Alya laughed. It was an evil laugh of a wicked stepsister he decided. “That’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said all morning.”
…
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