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read the last one as: nylander > marner > matthews. she's scruffed but i refuse to leave it out as it makes me cry every time i think about it. anywho | read the other fucked up newspaper editions i've created
gene interviewed davo pregame right after arrival whilst still in his suit before walking into the dressing room and I'm just never going to forget how it started:
gene: [yada yada yada playoffs is so important, stressful, etc. cleverly ends it with a light-hearted question to start off the interview on a comfortable note] how did you decide on what suit to wear?
connor: [surprised chuckle. ok good job gene, it worked! let's all lean forward to catch a less serious davo] oh it's just like any other game and uhh. uhm. uh. ah. urgh. ble. hng. mrk.
HOCKEY CYBORG IS STRUGGLING DROWNING DRIFTING AWAY
gene: ok. how's the stress level on the team?
connor: [visible relief at getting a hockey question and nothing about himself and whether he is a human. commences speaking with actual words.]
If anyone caught a recording of this omg pls post🙏 lmao here it is
I love hockey because the widely-accepted Inner Circle Of Greats is a Saskatchewan farm boy, a suspiciously Soviet-friendly twink, a guy whose name translates to "the best," a bisexual with a mullet, a Russian laboratory experiment, The Beloved And Highly Favoured Child Of God, and two unrelated white boys named Connor