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kingdomofkitten · 5 years

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Pretty-Rage & Kamen Haida: Part 2

*some time later, Haida wakes up, in a small house, looking out to rice fields*

Haida: GAH! What the-?! ...wha…

Retsuko: You’re up! Finally! *hands him a bowl of rice* Here you go. Eat up!

Haida: *grabs the bowl* What the-...how did you find this?

Retsuko: Well, let’s just say you were lucky where you crashed. A farmer found us, and brought us over here to recover. Turns out he had a bunch of rice that was almost ready at the time of the food being taken away, so he hid it, in case they were to try to steal it.

Haida: Oh. *starts eating* ...needs some sauce, but it’ll do.

Retsuko: Hey, don’t complain! I’ve been starving for something all day. *eating like an animal*

Haida: Hehe, oh, I know, don’t worry…*looks off to the fields, into the forest, and mountains* …..heh.

Retsuko: What’s wrong?

Haida: Ah, just wondering how we’ve survived as long as we have.

Retsuko: ...what do you mean?

Haida: I mean...I dunno, it always feels like every time we seem to legitimately send the Bryriam back a bit, they always come back, full force, and we have to start over. And every time, it always seems like they’re stronger than ever before. Like, where does it end? Will we finally have the upper hand, or will they win? I want to protect the Earth...for you. For Ikari. For Fenneko. For everyone….but I’m starting to feel like that will quickly become pointless. Especially with this recent dude, their plan straight up knocked us out! It could’ve gotten us killed! How the hell do you jump back from that?! I...I don’t know. *continues eating*

Retsuko: ...well, you know how I jump back?

Haida: ...how?

Retsuko: I see you do it.

Haida: ...hmm?

Retsuko: It’s gonna be a little weird to explain, but...remember, when I was pregnant with Ikari? At that time, crime fighting...that wasn’t something I could keep doing at that time. So, you and I agreed you would do all of that, while I stayed back, and I would get back into it once Ikari was born.

Haida: Well, yeah. That was kind of a given. It came as a little bit of a shock to me when you came back, almost as soon as he was delivered. I would’ve figured you’d need a little extra time.

Retsuko: You know why I came back as soon as I did? Because you put up with fighting them off for nine long months. You had to go through that alone. You fought them neck and neck, and you were occasionally on the brink of near death...but every night, you came home, you crawled in bed with me, and asked me how my day went, treating it as just another day at work. Even when you were a bloodied mess, and we had to tend to your injuries, you kept it up. You wouldn’t stop for a single second, and...there’s something to admire about that, Haida….you remember when we first brought home Ikari?

Haida: Y-yeah. It was at night. He was so tired, we just laid him in his cradle, and let him sleep.

Retsuko: And you remember what we talked about afterwards?

Haida: Um….I kind of forgot.

Retsuko: Well, we said that now that we have a baby, our responsibilities are piled on more. The game has been changed slightly. We have to work harder. We first just fought evil for the safety of the Earth. But now, we don’t just fight for that. We fight, so that our son can have a bright future. So that he doesn’t have to live under the iron fist of the Byriam. I don’t know how much more we will be able to take of them, Haida. I really don’t. But as long as we’re still here, we’re still able to give hope to the people, I’m not gonna stop fighting them, and I hope you don’t either.

Haida: *smiles* I won’t.

Retsuko: *smiles back* Good. *suddenly, her phone rings, and she answers* Hello?

Fenneko: Hey, Retsy! You guys alright? Saw the nasty crash you two took.

Retsuko: How did-

Fenneko: Cameras. Remember?

Retsuko: Ah, right. Anyways, we’re fine. How’s Ikari?

Fenneko: He’s A-Okay, found some water to give him, to hold him over. Though, he might need to be changed soon. Ignoring that, though, um...any chance you guys are coming back to town? Because I’m preeeeetty certain the Byriam has taken the city hostage. *overseeing a large crowd of people, surrounding Phoenixia, Kuishinbō, and the Cronion soldiers*

Phoenixia: *distant* PEOPLE OF TOKYO! WE WILL GIVE YOU BACK YOUR FOOD SUPPLY! HOWEVER, IN ORDER FOR THIS TO OCCUR, YOU MUST GIVE COMPLETE AND TOTAL SURRENDER TO THE BYRIAM EMPIRE!

Fenneko: ...as you can see, kinda need to hurry your asses over here.

Retsuko: Oh! Uh, we’ll be heading over there now! Thanks! *hangs up* Come on! Phoenixia’s got the city wrapped around her finger!

Haida: Yikes! Right! *they get up, and run towards their motorcycle, with an elderly man waiting for them*

Retsuko: Thank you so much for your help! *the two mount the motorcycle*

Old man: No worries! Now get back to Tokyo! And don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.

Haida: Thank you, sir. *they drive off*

*meanwhile…*

Civilian: P-please! Just let us eat! We’ve been wasting away all day!

Phoenixia: What did I tell you? You surrender to the Byriam Empire, and you will receive your nutrients. Until then, you will starve. KUISHINBŌ! Chow down!

Kuishinbō: Yes, ma’am! *grabs out a giant play of food, to the dismayed wails of the crowd, and opens his mouth* YOOOO-

???: HOLD IT! *the monster stops, as he, and everyone else, turns to see Kamen Haida and Pretty-Rage, driving up to the commotion!*

Phoenixia: WHAT?! They’re back?!

Kamen Haida: Better than ever! *they stop the motorcycle, and jump into the action* *to the civilians* Everyone, head out, we’ll take care of this!

*the people begin running away, as the Cronion soldiers charge at the two for battle!*

Pretty-Rage: Ready?!

Kamen Haida: Ready!

*the two begin their battle with the Cronions*

Pretty-Rage: Heyah! *roundhouse kicks some soldiers, who fall to the ground*

Cronion: *squeals, as it tries to wack her with a staff...only to be blocked with her microphone, and blasted out of the way!*

Kamen Haida: *punches one Cronion in the face multiple times, kicks a few others, backflips onto one, jumps off of that soldier, and then jump kicks another!*

Phoenixia: Ugh! That does it! KUISHINBŌ! GO!

Kuishinbō: Yes, ma’am! *jumps into action* YOOOOOOO!!!! *slashes the two!*

Pretty-Rage: Agh!

Kamen Haida: GAH! *they step back, but keep fighting the monster!*

Pretty-Rage: *tries blasting Kuishinbō with her mic!* Take that!

Kuishinbō: *deflects the blast!* Hohohoho! Nice try, but you can’t stop me! *opens his mouth, to reveal a giant beam* KUIARASHIMASU! *blasts it at the two, who are sent flying back a bit!*

Kamen Haida: AAAH!

Pretty-Rage: AAAH! *they fall to the ground* Crap! What do we do?!

Kamen Haida: I-I don’t know!

Kuishinbō: *walks up to them* This was fun! But this, alas, is the end! *unleashes his sword, aiming to strike them!* YOOO-*suddenly gets blasted by several laser shots from the sky!* OW! Wha?!

Phoenixia: *looks up* What?!

Pretty-Rage and Kamen Haida: *they both look up* Huh?!

*up on top, they see a lone figure, in robotic armor, and helmet, somewhat resembling that of an astronaut, with a laser gun in it’s hand*

Pretty-Rage: Who...who’s that?

Phoenixia: Identify yourself!

Being: *jumps down, and starts walking towards Kuishinbō* My name is Cosmotaro. You are members of the Byriam Empire, who have tried many times to terrorize, and conquer this beautiful planet. For that, you will be punished.

Kuishinbō: Ooooo, you’re taking precious time away from my lunch! *raises his sword in the charges for an attack* YOOOOOOO! *suddenly gets stopped by a grab of his arm by Cosmotaro* Huh?

Cosmotaro: *punches Kuishinbō in the gut, sending him flying across the street!* Pathetic.

Kamen Haida: *gets up, along with Pretty-Rage* H-hey! Thanks!

Cosmotaro: Spare the thanks, we need to eliminate this being. *aims his gun at Kuishinbō, and starts firing!*

Kuishinbō: AGH! OW!

Pretty-Rage: *grabbing her mic* ...here goes! *goes into death metal mode!* METAL ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRR!!!!! *the might of her scream makes a beam that fires at the monster!*

Kamen Haida: Keep them firing! *charges at the monster, and jumps into the air* HAIDAAAAA KIIIIICK! *jump kicks Kuishinbō straight in the face, and does a backflip off of him!*

Kuishinbō: I NEVER GOT TO EEEEEAAAAAT!!!! *falls to the ground, and explodes!*

Phoenixia: Oh, no, you don’t! *uses her hands, in a waving motion* BRYIAM….GROW!

*suddenly, Kuishinbō returns, as a giant!*

Cosmotaro: Huh?!

Pretty-Rage: Oh no! What are we going to do?!

Kamen Haida: The only thing we can do.

Pretty-Rage: Wha…..oh, come on, Haida, you KNOW I don’t like him doing this!

Kamen Haida: Well, what else do we have?

Pretty-Rage: Well…..uh…..*sigh* fine. *grabs her phone* Fenneko, you there?

Fenneko: *setting Ikari down, on the rooftop of a building* Ready to go. *hands Ikari a small device* Alrighty, buddy, get to work.

Ikari: Bah! *holds the device up to the sky, which causes it to light up!*

*suddenly, in a blinding flash, the small infant has disappeared, and in his place, a giant alien-like being stands tall, against the giant kabuki-like monster….it is….Kyodaikari!*

Kuishinbō: YOOOO! *the two get into fighting stances...before charging, and tackling one another!*

Kyodaikari: GEYAH! DAH! *kicking, and chopping Kuishinbō*

Kuishinbō: *kicks Kyodaikari in the gut, pushing him back, into a building! ...the building’s empty, don’t worry* You will not get away with this! *opens his mouth once more!* KUIARASHIMASUUUUUUUU!!!!!! *fires a beam at the giant hero!*

Kyodaikari: *uses his arms to form a poses, which emits a beam from his elbow* GEAH! *the two beams clash, causing the earth to shake!*

Kuishinbō: YOU CANNOT BEAT ME!

Kyodaikari: GYREAAAAH! *eventually, his beam begins to win out, and he overcomes Kuishinbō’s strength, and blasts the monster!*

Kuishinbō: AAAAGH! *falls to the ground* YYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!! *explodes!*

Phoenixia: DAMN! *to the heroes* This is far from the end! *disappears along with the Cronions*

Pretty-Rage: *sighs* Man, you’d think we would be getting close to stopping her by now.

Kamen Haida: Such is the struggle…*sees Cosmotaro leaving* Hey! Thanks for the help! ...who are you, anyway?

Cosmotaro: ...whoever I am is irrelevant.

Pretty-Rage: Well, considering you helped us, it would be nice to know your name, make a new friend.

Cosmotaro: Let’s get something clear. We are not friends in the battlefield. You do know me when we’re civilians, and we do get along. But as this, neither of you are my friends. We are merely on the side of justice. Nothing more. *walks away*

Kamen Haida: *starts to storm towards him* Listen here, you bastar-! *he’s stopped by Pretty-Rage* H-huh? Retsuko!

Pretty-Rage: Haida, just...let him go. It’s not worth getting mad over. We won, that’s all that matters.

Kamen Haida: ……*sigh* Alright, fine. *to the giant Kyodaikari* You can turn back, buddy, you’re done!

Kyodaikari: GEH! *turns back into the small child, Ikari, running to his parents*

Pretty-Rage: *crouching down* Come to mommy, sweetie!

Ikari: *jumps into her arms* Mama! :D

Kamen Haida: Hehe..c’mon, let’s get back to work, before anyone notices we’re gone.

*a short time later, they’re all back in the office, eating lunch, like nothing ever happened*

Retsuko: *chowing down* So, yeah! Another job well done, I think!

Haida: Yeah. And thank goodness, huh? Now people aren’t gonna be miserable all around here.

Fenneko: In this building? Nah, they still are.

Haida: You know what I mean….I’m still wondering who that guy was.

Retsuko: Hmm? Oh, that Cosmo...something, dude?

Haida: Cosmotaro, I think was his name.

Retsuko: Ah...well, I’m not gonna worry about it. If he wants to act that way, that’s his choice. But who knows? Maybe he’ll warm up more.

Haida: Provided we see him again. *sees Resasuke walking up to their table* Hey, Space Cadet! What’s up?

Resasuke: Hey, is the coffee machine working again?

Retsuko: I think so, Resasuke. All the food and beverages went back to everyone, once that monster was destroyed.

Resasuke: ...there was a monster?

Fenneko: Aaaaand of course he missed it. :3

Haida: In any case, it should be fine. If not, lemme know, I’ll go take a look at it.

Resasuke: Thanks. *walks off*

Fenneko: ...honestly, Retsuko, I’m still figuring out how the hell you saw anything in him.

Retsuko: Hey, he’s not a bad guy! Just...not my type.

Haida: Lucky me, then. ;)

Retsuko: Mhm!

Resasuke: *walks over to the coffee machine...and suddenly pulls out a familiar looking laser gun* ….. *in his memory, as...Cosmotaro* You do know me when we’re civilians, and we do get along. But as this, neither of you are my friends. We are merely on the side of justice. Nothing more. ……*he looks at Retsuko and Haida* ….*sigh* maybe soon.

*some time later…*

Retsuko: *talking with Washimi on the phone* And then Ikari did his whole giant superhero thing, and beat the guy until he exploded! It was insane!

Washimi: Wow! Well, that’s wonderful to hear, Retsuko. It’s good to see you’re using your abilities for us Earthlings. You’ve got quite the team now, it seems like!

Retsuko: Yeah. It’s getting tough, but we’re always getting tougher.

Washimi: *chuckles* I bet. Well, listen, I have to go. Gori and I have something planned, and we mustn't be late.

Retsuko: Okay! Talk to you later!

Washimi: Bye. *hangs up, and sees Gori, glaring at her* …..what?

Gori: ...when do you plan on telling her?

Washimi: ...soon enough.

Gori: Well, when you do, try not to be as cruel as you can be with that secret.

Washimi: Gori, you’re my friend, I care about you, but you do not understa-

Gori: I don’t understand? Nuh-uh, YOU don’t understand. You may think you can keep this up, and still be her friend, but one of these days, you’re gonna drive her away...like you drove me away. *walks off*

Washimi: Gori, I-! ….ugh. *receives a call* Hello?

???: Come on down. They’re expecting you.

Washimi: ...on my way. *hangs up, gets up, walks away from her desk...and teleports to a dark, dank, cave-like place, surrounded by tons of alien like individuals, having herself suddenly turned into a familiar looking being…*

The Evil Ruler of the Empire, KAIZER: PHOENIXIA! You have failed once again to get even Japan to fall to our whim!

Second-In-Command DENDO: *a buff, seemingly more militaristic brute* Hmph. Typical, of a weakling such as yourself, Phoenixia.

Phoenixia: Shut it, Dendo! My lord Kaizer, it won’t happen again! I promise!

Kaizer: You are beginning to test my patience, young child! We may have to send Dendo to finish the job.

Dendo: I think that would be an excellent idea, my lord. If my pure force was on the lines, instead of Phoenixia’s inane schemes, the Earthlings would not stand a chance.

Phoenixia: Earth cannot be conquered by raw strength alone. You must be able to tackle their thoughts and emotions as well, before truly breaking them.

Kaizer: Whatever the case may be, remember. This is only to help us. If we cannot acquire the Earth, we, as a species, may not be living much longer. This is only for a secure future! TO THE FUTURE OF THE BYRIAM!

Everyone in the room: TO THE FUTURE OF THE BYRIAM!

Kaizer: Dismissed! *everyone starts scattering around, going to wherever*

Phoenixia: *looking over Earth* …

Dendo: *walking up to her* Just remember something, I will be the one to bring that planet to it’s knees. So you better treat me with some respect very soon. Who knows? I might even let your precious friends live, once I win. *laughs, and walks away*

Phoenixia: …*sigh* Retsuko, I pray that we will never have to confront to the death. But if that day comes, I will not hold back. I will stand my ground. For my empire, for my people. Like how you stand for yours… *leaves*

つづく

“Wow, part 1 sure was big, eh?”

He says, as part two is even bigger.

But yeah, FINALLY got this done! I’m pretty proud of this whole thing, honestly. It was a great way to let off some steam. Will I ever come back to it? I dunno, maybe. It might be fun. But until then, I’ve got bigger fish to fry....oh, and yes, Kyodaikari is supposed to be an Ultraman send-up.

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