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#Cranberry Gelatin Salad I
r3dblccd · 4 months
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: ̗̀➛ @weedzkiller liked for a lil winter/holiday thing ❄️ | 2/2
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"Something about this recipe... It just doesn't feel right to me? Do you know what I mean?" Minsung fell down a rabbit hole. A very deep one. And that was the rabbit hole the horrifying vintage holiday recipes. "Like, what do you mean, and I quote, '...serve cranberry "candles" as your salad'. What kind of maniac thought cranberry sauce, gelatin, mayo and an open flame together would be a good match, imagine someone accidentally knocked those over. The vegetable and tuna gelatin recipe is gonna haunt me in my nightmares." At the same time... He kind of wanted to try them, see if they're as bad as they sound or if they're surprisingly good recipes... No, he felt like he was gonna puke just reading the recipes.
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chickbrace9 · 2 years
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Forty Six Tiny Finger Meals Ideas To Serve In 2022
Softy, chewy, and warmly spiced, they’re every little thing an oatmeal cookie ought to be. So typically, we toss pesto with pasta or dollop it onto pizza but overlook how incredible it is on its own. When I have an abundance of summer time basil, I wish to pack a jar of pesto in my picnic basket to unfold onto crackers or good crusty bread. Pack a big tub of veggies to get pleasure from with a flavorful dip. Filled with hearty veggies and a vibrant carrot-ginger dressing, this energizing salad may pass as a main or aspect dish. Tossed in a tangy, nutty dressing with lots of contemporary herbs, they’re utterly irresistible. Everything was scrumptious and everyone that was at the wedding can’t stop raving about how good the food was and asking who our caterer was. People also really enjoyed the beer and wine alternatives. Jimsi and your staff were nice too, very helpful and professional. We can’t thank you enough for serving to make our marriage ceremony day so particular. 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If not, if there's a portable fridge that may be hooked into an outlet, this may be the best situation. Coolers would work as properly, offered that there are enough ice packs and eggs are kept at the bottom (in a container to avoid breakage, of course!). While setting prices is ultimately as much as you, we’ve provided a suggestion beneath every of the objects beneath. Our focus is your comfort – order online from your laptop computer, desktop, or smartphone 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Our fast shipping, low prices, and excellent customer service make WebstaurantStore the greatest choice to satisfy all of your professional and food service provide needs. There are countless takes on the beef sandwich, proving that nonetheless you smother or slice it, individuals love scorching beef between warm bread. Dress your beef sandwiches as a lot as the nines with these beef sandwich ideas.
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thebpm · 3 years
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In this salad, cranberry sauce and pineapple chunks are stirred into a gelatin base and sprinkled with chopped nuts.
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maviesexuelle · 3 years
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In this salad, cranberry sauce and pineapple chunks are stirred into a gelatin base and sprinkled with chopped nuts.
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flange5 · 4 years
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This thread is amazing and only gets moreso from that beginning (source)
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lady-divine-writes · 4 years
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Criss Cross Cranberry Sauce (Rated T)
Summary:
Aziraphale spends so much time focused on making Christmas dinner for their friends perfect, and doing everything the human way, he forgets one tiny little detail. (1393 words)
Notes: Written for @drawlight’s ‘31 Days of Ineffables’ prompt 'cranberry’.
Read on AO3.
“Angel? Hey, angel? How’s it going in here? You’ve been working all morn … ing. Wow!” Crowley stops, mouth agape, at the southern end of a long table that could have come straight from the pages of an Elle Décor magazine, barely an inch of the white granite to be seen beneath an infantry of serving bowls and platters laden with camera-ready food. “That’s quite the spread. You really went all out!”
Aziraphale puffs his chest, grinning with pride. “Yes. Yes, I did.”
“And you didn’t miracle anything?”
“Not a thing,” Aziraphale beams, lighting an equally impressive army of candles using a long, wood match; each gold taper rising from the wells of elegant, crystal candlesticks. Crowley watches Aziraphale bounce the yellow flame from wick to wick, pausing to let it catch and then moving on to the next. It seemed a rather inefficient way for an angel, of all beings, to light this many candles when he could simply snap his fingers and have them all done at once. But Aziraphale had been determined. They were throwing this dinner for their mortal friends, so he’d wanted to do everything the human way. Besides, food prepared by hand tasted better than miracled food in Aziraphale’s opinion.
How true that is, Crowley can’t attest. He thought miracled food tasted fine. Of course, he didn’t miracle food out of thin air. He can’t create with his magic the way Aziraphale can. Crowley manifested food and drink from elsewhere, like The Ritz. Aziraphale would probably object to feeding their closest friends a meal of stolen food.
Crowley, on the other hand, thinks it would be hilarious.
If no one else appreciated the humor, Warlock definitely would. And possibly Adam. And Adam’s battalion of friends.
Crowley seriously considers miracling up one tiny thing, like a tart or a casserole, so the lot of them can share in the private joke. But Aziraphale would feel the signature of his demonic magic all over the dish.
And he would be grumpy.
Crowley strolls down the length of the table towards his angel, perusing the gourmet fare, whistling low when he comes across eight ceramic bowls of a nearly identical dish, bookended by Waterford vases overflowing with tulips and roses. “Got enough cranberry sauce there?”
“Yes, well, I learned my lesson after last year’s cranberry sauce debacle.” Aziraphale shakes his hand, extinguishing the match. “I made one type of sauce for everyone. We have whole berry cranberry sauce …”
“The classic …” Crowley says with an approving nod since that one is his favorite.
“Cranberry relish for Anathema, cranberry chutney for Newt, cranberry compote for Madame Tracy and Mr. Shadwell …”
“What even is the difference?”
“Vinegar. And some nuts.”
“Ah. Kind of like the difference between Madame Tracy and Mr. Shadwell.”
Aziraphale raises a scathing eyebrow at his husband. “Shush, you.”
Crowley waves him off. “What else ya got?”
“Cranberry gelatin for Wensleydale, though I’m struggling over whether or not I should move that to the dessert section; cranberry ambrosia for Pepper …”
“See, now, I bet she made that one up … ooo, it has marshmallows …”
“… cranberry marmalade for Brian, I even got jellied cranberry sauce for Warlock.” Aziraphale gestures distastefully in the general direction of said abomination and sneers. “You know, that stuff that keeps the shape of the can?”
“Nnngh …” Crowley leans closer to examine it, but not too close. “Bloody American.”
“Quite,” Aziraphale agrees.
“I honestly think you should have made everyone bring their own cranberry concoctions if they’re going to make such a fuss about it,” Crowley says, reaching out a cautious hand and giving the cylindrical-shaped cranberry mass a jiggle.
“Nonsense! I volunteered to host! It’s my responsibility to take care of my guests!”
“I’m guessing that explains the seven cakes, three huge tubs of potatoes, four puddings, and … how many different kinds of salad?”
“Fourteen,” Aziraphale says smugly, “but who’s counting?”
“Not me.” Crowley steps behind his husband and wraps his arms around Aziraphale’s waist. “Everything looks spectacular. You’ve outdone yourself.”
“Thank you.” Aziraphale leans back into his husband’s embrace, inviting a squeeze.
“So, what do you have for a main?”
Aziraphale melts into the warmth of Crowley’s body, that demonic heat that simmers constantly beneath the surface of his skin like a well-fed furnace, and for a moment, his mind goes blank. “Hmm?”
“Your main course. What did you pick this year? Ham? Turkey?” He gives his husband a little wiggle. “Duck?”
Aziraphale opens his eyes, staring unblinkingly into the void ahead of him, that gorgeous warmth enveloping his body plummeting sourly to his feet. “I’m sorry. C-come again?”
Crowley chuckles, in on the wicked joke he’s sure they’re sharing. “I get it. I get it. Keeping it under wraps, I see. Big surprise. All right, then, all right. I’m willing to wait. It must be good if you won’t even tell me.”
“Yes.” Aziraphale tries to mirror his husband’s mischievous laugh, but comes off sounding more like a sick porpoise instead. “Yes, it is. It is … good.”
“Well, I commend you all your hard work.” Crowley kisses the crown of Aziraphale’s head, unaware of how cold it has become. “I’m very proud of you.”
“Thank you, my dear. A-always nice to hear.”
“I’m going to go finish getting ready.” Crowley gives Aziraphale a final squeeze, then heads off to the bedroom, leaving behind an angelic corpse since Aziraphale’s soul has left his body. Aziraphale waits until he hears his husband’s footsteps enter the bedroom and the door shut behind him before his soul reconnects with his brain …
… and he freaks out.
“No!” he screams hoarsely into his hands plastered over his face. “No no no no no! How could I be this stupid!?” His face snaps up, and he stares at the ceiling above him. “Don’t any of you answer that!”
He’d been so wrapped up in accommodating everyone - and in his own inflated ego at how well he’d been accomplishing it if he’s being completely honest - that a main course had completely slipped his mind. Seven cakes, three tubs of potatoes, four puddings, fourteen salads, more stuffings and vegetables than they’ll ever be able to pack away, even eight bloody dishes of cranberry sauce! He spent more time on the gosh-darned cranberry sauce than he had a single other dish on the table, but somehow he’d thoroughly forgotten a main dish! No turkey, no ham, no fish - not even a Cornish game hen!
And the first of their guests is scheduled to arrive …
Ding-ding-dong! Ding-ding-dong! Ding-dong ding, ding dong!
Their festive doorbell, cheerfully chiming out the chorus of Jingle Bells, sounds throughout the flat, it’s sense of dramatic timing so perfectly unparalleled, Aziraphale could almost believe that the Almighty had rung it to mess with him.
But no. His luck isn’t that good.
“That’s gotta be the Dowlings!” Crowley sings, hurrying back through the dining room to answer the front door. He pauses to give his husband an affectionate kiss on the cheek and a congratulatory smack on the rear. “Again – wonderful work, love. Truly top notch.” Then he continues on.
And Aziraphale listens, paralyzed to uselessness by his own humongous faux pas.
“Warlock! Mr. and Mrs. Dowling! What a pleasant surprise!” Crowley greets the arrivers. “And right on time! Wait till you see the meal Aziraphale has thrown together! It’s taken him all day …”
Aziraphale tunes out the rest after he hears Crowley usher them inside, take their coats, and threaten to lead them straight to the dining room.
Aziraphale has no time to fix this. He’s officially run out. He’s got eight frickin’ dishes of cranberry sauce but not a single second to spare! In the end, he’ll have to miracle up something! They can’t eat a dinner entirely of side-dishes. But for the moment, with the Dowlings headed his way, he hasn’t a clue what to do, doesn’t know what to say. So before they walk down the hall and meet him, before he’ll have to acknowledge their presence with a bright, uncomplicated smile, handshakes and small talk, he spits out the only word he can think of that properly expresses the emotions spiraling through his head like a migratory goose caught in a wind turbine, flailing fruitlessly in an attempt to escape.
“Fuck!”
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kin-eats · 4 years
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Hi! Do you have any foods for a 1950s robotkin? I'm good with pretty much anything except tomatoes. Thanks and have a nice day!
I’ll do my best!
Cranberry Gelatin Salad
Swiss Cheese and Beer Fondue
Authentic Swedish Meatballs
Tuna and Vegetable Casserole
Spicy Pineapple Upside Down Cake
Baked Alaska Dessert
I hope you enjoy! ~Shadow
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hapalopus · 4 years
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Is roasted turkey common in Denmark? I'm sure you know how popular it is in America during the holidays (it's horrible I wish it was gone). Also is there, like, a Danish equivalent to cranberry sauce?
We always had turkey in my family because it’s the only bird my grandma likes, but in general, goose or duck is more common. I vastly prefer duck! On top of that, staples of a good Christmas dinner are pork roast with lots of crackle, medister sausage, sugar glazed potatoes, boiled potatoes, lots of brown gravy, maybe some honey glazed ham, and grønlangkål which is like a kale stew with cream. Maaybe some frikadeller and chips if you’re weird (people who eat chips with gravy are NOT valid, Fynboer/Jyder don’t interact, this is a Sjællænder only zone)
The dessert is usually risalamande with cherry sauce, where you play the Almond Game. For those who don’t like risalamande there’s ice cream, but if you get ice cream you can’t partake in the Almond Game and will have no chance to win the Almond Prize. Also there’s gløgg which is just warm spiced wine with raisins and almonds, which is gross.
Traditionally you’ll also have a Christmas lunch on the 25th with black rye bread, white bread, fried herring, liver pâté with bacon, various fish/seafood salads, shrimp, eggs, various cold cuts, crispy fried fish, and sometimes some leftovers from yesterday, and ofc a lot of remoulade and mayo. And schnapps. Lots of strong, disgusting schnapps.
I guess the closest equivalent we have to cranberry sauce is red currant jelly (as in gelatine jelly, not marmalade jelly), which is sometimes used for wild game, but not around christmas.
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brandonancone · 3 years
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In this salad, cranberry sauce and pineapple chunks are stirred into a gelatin base and sprinkled with chopped nuts.
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Killer Queen (Girls Talk Boys Part 15)
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Authors Note: This song has been stuck in my head all day so I had to use it. I want to thank anyone and everyone who’s read my writing. I am a thirsty bitch so any and all feedback and questions are appreciated
Caviar and cigarettes Well versed in etiquette Extraordinarily nice
She's a Killer Queen Gunpowder, gelatin Dynamite with a laser beam Guaranteed to blow your mind Anytime
Warnings: smoking, drinking, swearing the usual
Previous Chapter
First chapter
Camille couldn't breathe and she was afraid she was going to piss herself. It wasn't healthy to laugh this hard while wearing Spanx. She had to give him credit. Tom had really come through on the costumes. Cher's idea to go as Bob's burgers was fucking brilliant. She and Cody were Linda and Bob with Nick as Gene. Lucy was oddly sexy as Louise, but Tom dressed up as Tina was what had her in stitches.
“I am a smart, strong, sensual woman” Tom even had the voice down.
“Stop, seriously I can't do this right now. The knee socks. I can't” Camille couldn't stop laughing.
“Camille, we need to get your hair put on” Lucy, bunny ears and all, pulled her up the stairs with Tom following behind. Camille wasn't a part of the Bob's Burgers bunch. Instead she and her boss teamed up as characters from Steven Universe. Stephen was going as Steven, and Camille as Rose Quartz. Lucy helped her get into her big fluffy pink and white strapless dress. The three of them then went to work on her hair. Two separate clip in pieces attached to give her volume and long flowing pink ringlets. Between the dress and the hair she looked a bit like a drag queen coming out of a wedding cake all tits and pink curls. Camille even had to admit she looked cute.
It was a little after 9 PM. They were determined not to be the first group there so they hung out for a bit catching a pre party buzz. A round of shots and a blunt. Camille was elated she was finally feeling healthy again. She was absolutely mortified she'd gotten sick in front of Harry. He'd been an angel. Not only did he get her home and to bed, for the second time, he'd taken her notes and handled the party details until Ashton came home. Tonight was the first time she'd see Harry since that day.
She hadn't really gotten to see any of the boys since they got back from Europe. The exception being Calum who had come by the morning after he'd given her the gifts to make sure she didn't need anything else. She'd stayed wrapped in her blankets hiding her face. He'd lounged on the opposite side of her bed, at her strictly enforced distance, telling her about the tour and how he'd found each of her gifts. Camille winced remembering the torture of having Calum on her bed and not being able to touch him. They carefully avoided any serious discussion talking mostly about places they'd traveled. Camille kept asking him questions about places they'd both visited. Only while Calum toured in person Camille had only explored through books. He'd stayed for about an hour before Camille started to get sleepy again. Getting up to leave he'd turned and pounced on her. Scooping her into his arms he'd buried his face in her blankets under her chin. Camille couldn't resist reaching her fingers out to stroke his neck and his jawline. The many nights she'd fantasized were nothing compared to Calum being right here. She was glad she was swaddled up so he couldn't hear her heartbeat pounding or see how flushed she was getting. They lay there like that without a word before he'd kissed her between her eyes and left.
Cher almost lost it when she walked into the party and saw Harry dressed as Squidward. Tom REALLY came through on the costumes. Harry for his part openly whooped seeing the Belcher family.
“You guys look spectacular” Harry hugged her with four tentacles.
“No seriously that's something else” Cher stood back eyeing him. “Where's Spongebob?”
“He'll be here later. I'll have to introduce you.” He leaned in to whisper “ I heard a rumor you might be single.”
“I was always single” she whispered back.
Harry just nodded and winked at her “of course, I have to find someone but Calum and Luke are around here somewhere and I'm pretty sure I saw Ashton in the kitchen with the food”
Harry pulled Tom off with him somewhere into the crowd.
Cher caught sight of Luke and she elbowed Cody. “Check it out, it's Bat-Luke.”
Cody laughed and pointed out Calum dressed as Robin pacing back and forth “and his boy wonder.”
Cody watched as Nick and Lucy greeted Lucy's friends who'd shown up dressed as the Powerpuff Girls. He recognized one as the girl who'd hooked up with Ashton at the last party. He saw Cher's face and knew she'd recognized the girl as well. Cody made a note to keep track of this one.
Pulling Cher aside he nodded towards another party guest “Do you see who that is?”
Cher looked back and her jaw dropped “Cody is that really? Wait until Camille sees he's a person and not a salad.”
“Will you stop being stupid?” Cody hissed. “I found out he's got a new show and his costar just happens to be my ex.”
Just then Calum locked eyes with Cher and laughing hysterically he jogged over.
“Holy shit you look fucking incredible, all of you” Calum told them hugging Cher and Lucy nodding at Cody and Nick.“Although I'm never going to see Louise the same way again.” He glanced behind her. “Where's Camille?”
“I see how important we are to you Cal. Speaking of important where's the booze?” Cher teased him.
“In the kitchen. Hey do you know Luke invited uh, a guest?” Calum looked nervous
“I didn't, while I appreciate the heads up I'm fine with all of this, I promise” Cher told him. “Are you ok?”
“Yeah I'm just, fucking hell, ok so Ameena kept calling me earlier and when I finally answered” Calum suddenly stopped and Cher saw his eyes light up. She was positive she'd never seen anyone smile like that.
Camille had arrived. She'd had to wait for her boss and his girlfriend so she could bring them over, but also she liked to make an entrance.
“Camille you made it” Bat-Luke appeared at her side. “That costume is perfect. You look so pretty. Cal isn't ready for this.” His blue eyes twinkling behind his mask.
“Luke” she gasped and hugged him. “Oh I've missed you sweet boy. How is everything?”
“We'll talk later. There are other people who need to see you first” Luke gently grabbed her shoulders to turn her around where Calum was coming up. Camille caught sight of him in his costume and her butterflies were back in force.
Robin had never been a sexy character but hot damn Calum was making it work. The sleeves were super short allowing her to see every tattoo on his muscled arms. Her eyes dropped down sucking in her breath surprised at how sexy Calum's thighs looked in leggings. Realizing where her thoughts were headed she tried to focus back on his face only to blush at the intensity in his gaze. Between the bulge in his leggings and his expression Calum made no attempt to hide what he was thinking.
“Can you two please try to restrain yourselves a little” Michael and Crystal appeared breaking Camille out of her thoughts.
“Hi you guys” Camille hugged them both “oh my God y'all are the cutest ever. Wanda and Cosmo? That's too perfect.”
“I can't believe you came as Rose Quartz. It was made for you. You look great.” Michael told her.
“Who did your hair? I fucking love it.” Crystal reached out playing with the pink curls
“Tom and Lucy helped. They're clip ins. I'm lucky I got the hair first thing way before I got sick.” Camille told her glancing back towards Calum who was now talking to Cher and Cody but still looking at her.
“I hope you really like him” Camille turned back to her as Crystal spoke. “I'm not taking sides in this, but he's gone through a lot just to take a chance with you.”
“I didn't ask him to” Camille felt defensive but she couldn't pretend to be completely innocent in all of this.
“I don't think he had a choice” Crystal told her. “He fell for you pretty quickly.”
Camille shook her head. “I don't know about all that. He's still young. I'm not anything special.”
“To him you are.” Crystal replied. “So please be careful, he's been hurt enough lately.”
Camille felt her face get hot. She felt a little responsible for that. If she'd walked away from the start she could've saved Calum from some of this misery.
“Hey” Crystal nudged her “I'm not trying to make you feel bad Cam. Look how happy he is right now.” They both looked up and when Calum caught them looking he excused himself from Michael.
Calum shyly approached Camille. She had this effect on him sometimes where he got so nervous. He found himself intimidated by her, and she had no clue. Just like she'd never believe him if he told her how beautiful she was right now.
Taking her hand he raised it to his lips while bowing slightly “You look like a queen tonight, your grace.”
Camille could not breathe. How could this man be real? How could this possibly be happening?
“Thank you kind sir. Royal or drag?” Camille raised an eyebrow. She cursed herself for being sarcastic when he was being so sweet.
Until she saw his lips twitch up into that smart ass grin he'd perfected.
“A little of both really. The hair is really something else.” Calum replied.
Camille bit back her usual snark and instead planted a light kiss on his jaw just beneath his ear. “Thank you” she told him.
Cher watched them from across the room. They both looked completely smitten. She'd never seen Camille look happier.
“Yeah they're gorgeous but can we talk about how cute you are in those glasses Linda” Luke's voice startled Cher out of her reverie.
“Very funny Bat-Luke” Cher giggled.
“I brought you a drink” Bat-Luke held up a red solo cup that smelled of watermelon vodka and cranberry juice.
“Leave it to Ashton to steal Camille's recipe” Cher hated this awkwardness between them. Scanning the room she turned to him “I thought your new girlfriend was coming tonight.”
Bat-Luke took a sip of his drink “she's not my girlfriend just yet, but she's here already. Summer is Andy's assistant. She's taking photos tonight.”
“I'm sure she'll be thrilled you're talking to me” Cher quipped.
“She knows about you. I've been honest with everyone. Can I get credit for that at least?” Luke looked slightly irritated and a bit wounded.
“Luke, I don't want things to be weird between us.” Cher told him.
“Nothing has to be weird. Just two friends having a conversation dressed as two cartoon characters. Totally normal.” Luke winked at her.
“Check it out Spongebob and Patrick have arrived.” Cher pointed across the room where Harry was greeting his friends.
“Holy shit that's Liam and Niall” Luke choked out a laugh.
“Hey Foxy Mama, You smell kinda pretty. Wanna smell me? Hoohah!" Ashton abruptly joined them causing Cher to almost spill her drink laughing.
Ashton as Johnny Bravo was hilariously appropriate. He looked smoking hot in tight jeans and a tight black t shirt.
"I bet your name's Mickey, 'cause you're so fine. You're so fine you..."
“Ashton there you are” Camille came over to greet him with Calum in tow.
“Camille or should I say Rose” Ashton leaned in for a hug. “You look stunning sweetheart. Calum's a lucky guy”
Calum and Camille both blushed and looked at each other with adoration.
Ashton, Cher and Luke all exchanged little “awwww” glances.
The moment was interrupted by an alarm on Calum's phone suddenly going off drawing the attention of everyone around him.
“Is that your home alarm” Ashton peeked over his shoulder as he shut off the alarm.
“Yeah my back door is open.” Calum looked confused.
“You think someone broke in?” Cher asked him.
“Not so much as I'm worried Duke got out.” Calum shook his head still confused.
“What is it Calum?” Camille reached up to caress his face so he'd look at her.
“I have the weirdest feeling. I don't even remember setting the alarm” Calum kissed her hand before letting it drop. “I really do need to check on Duke.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” Camille asked.
“Yes, but if you do and I get you alone in my apartment we won't be coming back to this party.” Calum kissed her lips gently “I'll be right back I promise.”
Calum left and Ashton nudged Camille in the ribs “You two are so gross you know that. Too mushy for me.”
“Shut the fuck up Irwin” Camille shot him a smirk. “You should really show Cher where the booze is and bring me another drink.”
Ashton chuckled and bowed towards her “your grace”
He went to Cher and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.
"You look pretty...I look pretty...why don't we go into the kitchen get a drink and stare at each other? You can watch my chest hair move in slow motion.”
Cher was giggling as she followed Ashton. “don't get too drunk too early.” Camille called after her.
“Mommy doesn't get drunk, mommy has fun” Cher called back.
Camille made her way back to Luke. “Is that her?” She nodded towards a pretty dark haired girl holding a camera lingering on the edge of the crowd.
“Yes actually” Luke motioned her over. “This is Summer. She's Andy's assistant/apprentice.”
“You must be Camille” Summer extended her hand.
“What gave it away” Camille smiled at her.
“The pink hair and I saw you with Cal. He's mentioned you more than a few times.” Summer looked nervous until she glanced at Luke and Camille could see the spark. “I have to go find Andy. I'm so glad I got to finally meet you Camille.”  Summer disappeared back into the crowd.
“She's cute Luke and she seems very sweet” Camille nodded at him watching him relax.
“I wanted her to meet you first. She's more nervous about Cher.” Luke took another drink before cocking his head and laughing. “Check it out Camille it's your favorite rapper.”
Camille scrunched up her nose “You know I can't stand Drake. He's a total fuckboy and this is his fuckboy anthem.”
“You know all about them fuckboys don't you Camille.” The venom in the tone of voice made both Luke and Camille whiplash towards the sound eyes wide.
“Your little boyfriend Quentin? Diamond do you love me? Ajayani are you writing? I'm not surprised you couldn't keep him satisfied. If you think for one second just because you lost your man you can make a move on mine you'd better back off bitch.”
Next Chapter Attention
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I have a fetish for him in this picture I don’t even care who knows
@biba3434 @vfdsstuff @babygirlcashton
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dashfirediaries · 5 years
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On the Appropriate Form and Naturally Correct Method of Enacting The Feast of the Thanksgiving
By
Dr. Horace S. Browntrout
 Dear Friends, Thanksgiving is a Covent Garden theatre production of epic proportions, and no less important. Every act must be perfectly executed, every prop must consist of the finest materials. Every actor must know their mark, their role—and indeed the limitations of their role—their dialogue as well as the entire script if the Production is to be a successful one. There must be the harried chef, the fussy friend, the drunk uncle, the ingrate, the sanguine sister, the doddering, wizened and cantankerous cousins and their unruly spawn, the cracked curmudgeon, and the self-absorbed simpleton simmering with singular simian stories.
               There is to be no improvisation allowed, for each element of the Production serves a vital function, and if each person were to perform their role ad libitum, a single atonal note could cause disarray and discord to be the result.
               First, let us consider the matter of the victuals themselves. These are the raw materials from which we, the people, draw thankful succor, the caloric substance that will comprise our basal metabolic rates and the continued performance of certain organs and their attendant support systems. Indeed, gratitude is a higher-order cognitive function as is the ability to cogitate itself. In order that gratitude, be achieved one must have the benefit of lipids, tryptophan, and other amino acids. Indeed, nothing is so sublime than meditating on the denaturing of quaternary-structured proteins and considering them as one would a sphere of twine slowly disentangling from its threads by the Hand of Fate—one of the Fates at any rate—as it transmogrifies from an inert and inedible substance to that which can provision a man with thoughts that can pause to understand the firmament of time and the indelible forces that etch their names upon our naked, purified souls.
               In any Feast of the Thanksgiving there are seven core elements that act in concert, mashed potatoes, gravy, turkey, stuffing, green bean casserole, baked yams, and cranberry sauce. These seven elements are like points of a star. They are the Inner Sanctum of the Thanksgiving. These seven elements are the original pantheon of gods on Mount Socially Sanctioned Gluttony. They are fixed points, as unchanging as the Earth itself. Not only must they be present at each Feast of the Thanksgiving, their constituent parts must never vary. Think carefully of our friend the potato, and how just one of these nutrient-Edens can feed a family of twelve, so long as it hasn’t been killed off by a wicked weevil or some other malicious animalcule. The potato is the shape-shifter of the vegetable world. It may be fried, sliced, smashed, poached, grilled, baked, boiled, parched, peached, poked, prodded, dehydrated, dilled, dipped, or chopped, and yet there is but one correct method of creating this famine-proof viscera liner on the Day of Thanksgiving: mashed. It must be boiled, drained, mashed, with salt, butter, and milk-like liquid product added to dampen it. It must be made moist, like a woman awaiting her lover’s kiss, but not sodden, like a soiled sponge lost in the rain without an umbrella, or a ponderous, rotund saturnine gentleman with edematous limbs due to sluggish lymphatic tissue. Stuffing must always include bread crumbs, broth, diced celery and onion. Green bean casserole must always be made with the freshest cream of mushroom soup available, coarse-cut fresh onions, garlic, French-cut green beans, and French-fried onion bits as a topping. The turkey must be a real turkey, not the monstrosity known as a “turducken,” (banned!). One must never defile a turkey by placing another whole fowl in its behind, even after it is deceased. On the manner of turkey preparation, carving, and presentation, you already know the proper methods and I shall not belabor the reader with their reiteration here.
Cranberry sauce must be refined to a fine jelly that one can readily consume even if one had no mouth, but simply a straw-like proboscis like a house fly or a wood tick. Consider those unfortunates that suffer from poverty of teeth and note their lonesome moanings. The aforenoted jelly must bear the ribbed imprint of its zinc-lined cannister. It must be removed from its cannister using a series of percussive “thumps” to its posterior end using the fleshy part of one’s palm. The entire, cylindrical mass should be birthed from the cannister in one motion and it should retain this form on your silver plate. Here, take a moment to remove your hat, bow your head and give thanks to God or some other deity of choice, not otherwise specified. Behold this sacred objet d’art. Observe how light enters it from one side and then exits, creating an amber-tinted glow. Like a many-faceted diamond in the rough, the unhewn canned cranberry log holds stories and delights as old as time. Find, if you will, its “voice.” Do not dare touch it until you can transcribe the words of the angel choirs that sing its odes! When you are ready, take a deep breath, for you must resign yourself to making an injury to the flesh of perfection. Next, grasp a sharp, sterile instrument and make a lateral, transverse incision perpendicular to the jelly body 20 millimeters inferior to the cephalic terminus. The incision should proceed from the lateral to the medial portion of the jelly body until the entire body has been bisected completely. Repeat the incision until the caudal terminus is reached. This tissue should be firm, yet globular and gelatinous, and it should easily yield to your surgical knife. Each layer will demonstrate a bit of wobble and sag as it is removed from the larger portion of the jelly body. Some degree of ptosis of the jelly is normal, and the novice clinician should not be alarmed by this observation. Once the jelly body has been completely processed in the previously described manner, it is now ready to be served.
Many foods in the Grand Production may take a turn at auditions. Many may even earn a hard-won, tentative place at the edge of the table, but no new members can ever be admitted to the Inner Circle. Replacements equal defilements and additions are subtractions—unless they are relegated to their proper, subordinate stations. One may welcome creamed corn, that humble, hard-working, plainspoken American fruit of the soil and sauce of the cow. If creamed corn appears, tattered hat in hand, crooked smile on its trembling lips, lowered eyes peering respectfully away from Her Majesty Meleagris gallopavo, fingerless gloves shivering as they clutch your door, do invite it to stand—not sit—at the edge of your table. Squash is another old friend and neighbor to the maize d’cremes. Served with butter and browned sugar, that refined kiss of the cane, it too, should be allowed a peripheral place at your ensemble of glory. Pumpkin and apple pie, should they decide to grace your presence, must be warm, served a’ la mode if any of your guests do not bear grudges against lactose. They are the sweets that our forebears set before us, and they serve important digestive functions by hastening the exit of unwanted extra calories. In this way, they tidy our flesh temples in readiness for Judgement.  Additionally, wheat rolls, those milled and ground Children of the Grain, must be allowed to bathe in the holy waters of commingled mashed potatoes and gravy, for this is a baptism of the Buds of Taste. But what of rabble like chunky, unseemly “homestyle” cranberry sauce, all tarted up from its Bog of Ill Fame? What of fruit “salad” and its tawdry, voluptuary beckonings? What of the slippery bivalve that hails from the gutters of the abysmal depths? Nay, one must never admit “Slick Silas” the Craven Clam to dinner at this feast unless forced by dint of dire necessity. Ultimately, while many may seek a place beside your Horn of Plenty, only a select few are preordained to blow it, and thus receive salvation from their heathen origins.
Whilst gratitude is a tertiary consideration of the Feast of the Thanksgiving, it is not wholly inappropriate for the host to compose some lines that add gravitas and evoke the grim solemnity of a typical, upstanding familial assemblage. Suggested topics include the importance of piety, the consequences of disobedience, a recitation of the diseases that no one at the table suffers from, the airing of unresolved grievances between both consanguineal and affinal relations, or an invocation to the Almighty to have mercy on any unsaved, damned souls present—and to provision said souls with an adequate supply of body butter or coconut oil with an SPF of 30 or higher for their one-way sojourn to the halls of Hades. Whatever one’s words, do make sure that they contribute to a funereal and austere atmosphere suitable to the occasion, and contain none of the impish frivolity marked by the undignified, impulsive and dysregulated lower classes. If any toast is to be made, cudgel anyone seen pouring libations to fallen idols, golden calves, or demonic demiurges. Be sure that the Almighty and the British Empire receive the bulk of your lionization, and that no indignant fiend quaffs their fermented grape squeezings until the termination of your circumlocutions—AND a lengthy, silent pause followed by the ominous tolling of a bell—even if they are parched and on the verge of death.  
               Many roads lead to the Promised Land of Venerated Yet Obscene Consumption. Many other roads are but dead-end paths or worse yet—will take you directly to perdition’s flames. Fly not, to the place of brimstone and conflagration! Heed ye, my warnings. Harken to my good news of salvation! Follow the Seven Points Star. Let its light guide you to the Table of Life, and check ye carefully its table of contents. While one may cook a turkey in manifold ways, one must always arrive at the same or roughly similar place or failure is the result, and death and ignobility, the final harvest.
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All rights reserved. Copyright 2018 by Horace S. Browntrout. No part of this post may be duplicated in any form except by written permission of the copyright holder.
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carmenshenk · 3 years
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Every holiday, my parents make cranberry salad. I don’t know where the recipe came from or how it became the tradition, nevertheless... there it was. ⚜️ Mom is dying and Dad is exhausted and they won’t be making the cranberry salad this year. I was feeling sad about that in a purely symbolic sense, because it means life for our family is changing. ⚜️ So I didn’t bother asking for the recipe, I made my own version. I used gelatin and cranberries, mandarin oranges (instead of spending a few hours grating zest and cutting out orange slices) and crushed pineapple. I cut the apples the way dad always did. I used some natural fruit juices and I didn’t add any sugar. It doesn’t have the bold red of the red jello they always used, and it’s not nearly as sweet, but it’s flavorful and good. It’s a bit more rustic than their version and yet the flavor is good. ⚜️ It felt good to snarf down a bowl of this for breakfast with the soft gelatin, the crunchy apples, the tart cranberry and sweet oranges. It’s surprisingly balanced and it feels like family. ⚜️ For years I basically thought it was just plain too much work to make it, and I never needed to before because my parents had it covered. Turns out, it isn’t too much trouble. It’s just a symbol of who we have been together, and the way our family is changing. ⚜️ 2021 will be a very different year for many people as we grieve our losses. I’m floored by the idea that over 300,000 families lost someone this year due to disease, misinformation, and ineptitude. And some families lost more than one dear soul. It’s ok to celebrate the season with eyes open to the brokenness around us and the many ways we are collectively hurting. It’s not easy to hold the bitter and the sweet and honor both, but this cranberry salad kinda feels like it gets that balance. ⚜️ No, I’m not up to sharing a recipe right now as it’s so much wrapped up in the grieving, but perhaps in time. Sending love to you and yours! #grieving #loss #lonelyholiday #cranberrysalad #holidayfood #familytraditions #comfortfood #comfortfoods #christmastradition #thanksgivingtraditions #emptyspotatthetable #stauntonva #coviddeath (at Staunton, Virginia) https://www.instagram.com/p/CJO0k6bHben/?igshid=1qov54poyh1tk
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Holiday Cranberry Gelatin Salad This gentle, scrumptious vacation salad could be very common in my household and has been requested yearly since I first introduced it to Christmas Eve dinner. The refreshing, not-too-sweet taste is an ideal pairing with nearly any meat. —Jennifer Mastnick, Hartville, Ohio
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whiteoutpony · 6 years
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The holidays are here, and I’m going to take the opportunity to share a simple recipe that’s very dear to me.  As long as I can remember, my Dad always served the same cranberry raspberry jello salad as a side dish at the holidays.  It was always one of my favorites. He’s not here to make it any more, but I know the recipe by heart, and now I’m going to share it with all of you.
Ingredients: 12oz water 8oz lemon-lime soda 1 3oz package raspberry gelatin 1 3oz package lemon gelatin 1 cup cranberry orange relish 12oz frozen raspberries
Simple enough, isn't it?  The cranberry orange relish can be store bought, or made in a couple minutes by pulsing 2 cups of cranberries with the zest and juice of one medium sized orange in a food processor until chunky.
Construction of the salad is just as easy.  Mix the gelatin in the bottom of your serving dish.  The one I'm using in the pictures is a 3.5qt, and is a bit big for what I'm making.
Bring the water to a boil, and then stir it into the gelatin.  Once the gelatin is dissolved, add the frozen raspberries and stir until the liquid has cooled and started to thicken slightly.  Stir in the relish next.
Transfer the bowl to the refrigerator, and let set for ~15 minutes.  Carefully stir in the soda, being sure not to over-stir and lose all the carbonation.  Refrigerate ~4 hours or overnight, then serve.
The final result is brilliant.  More cohesive than a relish, but with a pleasing texture and blend of sweet-tart flavors.  It goes wonderfully with ham. I use a modified version of this recipe as a jam, as well.
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toretandtasse · 5 years
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Diets and Dietary Restrictions
Choose one of the dietary concepts discussed in class; Eat Right for your Blood Type, South Beach, Atkins, Mediterranean, Paleo, etc. and adhere to it for a week.
- Vegan diet
What is a vegan diet? According to HealthLink BC, A Vegan diet is a totally vegetarian diet. Besides not eating meat, vegans also don’t eat any food that comes from animals such as milk products, eggs, honey and gelatin (which comes from bones and other animal tissue).
And also, according to them, there are many reasons why some people choose to exercise a vegan diet, and some of the examples are,
It can be healthier than other diets.
Some people think it's wrong to use animals for food.
Some religions forbid eating meat.
Eating less meat can be better for the environment because most meat is commercially farmed.
Some people don't like the taste of meat.
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2. Choose one of the eleven Food food allergens and pretend that have that allergen. How would you adjust your weekly diet choice to incorporate that allergen? Share your experience on your blog. Please include the following...
-Nut allergy (almonds, hazelnuts, pecans, walnuts, cashews, chestnuts, coconuts)
Peanut allergy is one of the most common allergies in children and although the allergy will improve with time for some, for others it will become worse. People who are allergic to peanuts will not necessarily be allergic to tree nuts or seeds.
Symptoms of peanut, tree nut or seed allergies vary and range from milder reactions to a severe allergic reaction (anaphylaxis). The most common symptom of a nut allergy is raised red bumps of skin (hives) and other allergic symptoms such as runny nose, cramps, nausea or vomiting. The best way to manage peanut, tree nut and seed allergies are to avoid all products containing these foods.
Food allergies can be life-threatening and peanuts, tree nuts and seeds are some of the most common food triggers for life-threatening severe allergic reactions. If you, or a child in your care, have a severe allergic reaction (anaphylaxis), call triple zero (000) for an ambulance. Do not stand or walk. Administer adrenaline (epinephrine) via autoinjector (EpiPen®), if available.
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2.1 Examples of typical daily menus and my 7-day log of eating habits
-Breakfast
Breakfast kick-starts your metabolism, helping you burn calories throughout the day so it is important to have a filling breakfast. For breakfast, I choose to have oats, oat milk, strawberry yogurt, dried cranberry, dried peaches, brown sugar and maple syrup. For the topping, there's a fresh strawberry, blueberry and slice of bananas.
Oats are rich in carbs and fibre, but also higher in protein and fat than most other grains. They are very high in many vitamins and minerals.  
-Lunch
 It consists of, potatoes, cherry tomatoes, avocado, spinach and tofu.
Potatoes contain a good amount of carbs and fibre, as well as vitamin C, vitamin B6, potassium and manganese. While Tomatoes are a good source of several vitamins and minerals, such as vitamin C, potassium, vitamin K, and folate. Avocados are very high in potassium, which should support healthy blood pressure levels it is also loaded With Heart-Healthy Monounsaturated Fatty Acids and also rich in fiber. Adocados can also Lower Cholesterol and Triglyceride Levels and also high in antioxidants. Spinach is low in carbs but high in insoluble fiber. This type of fiber may benefit your digestion. It is also an extremely nutrient-rich vegetable. It packs high amounts of carotenoids, vitamin C, vitamin K, folic acid, iron, and calcium. Tofu is low in calories but high in protein and fat. It also contains many important vitamins and minerals. Research indicates that soy has a protective effect against breast, digestive, and prostate cancers. Eating tofu may protect against a variety of health conditions, such as heart disease, diabetes, and even certain cancers.
Provide one recipe that you have created (using standard recipe format) that utilizes the concepts discussed (in class).
Quinoa salad with hummus and steamed vegetables.
At the end of the week, reflect on your experiences.
Provide some advice or ideas that would allow you to maintain your dietary choice and be a chef.
In my opinion, you need to have a lot of knowledge regarding this particular diet if you want to continue doing the vegan diet. You need to deliberately study the diet and know where you can get or supply the vitamins and minerals that you can get in animal products.
Would you continue with your choice?
No. As a person whose familiar and accustom eating the animal product. Being vegan is a big challenge. I need to remove all the product that I have been eating since I was young and it takes a lot of time and effort just to replace the product where I get my proteins and other vitamins that I usually get from animal products. Also, a vegan diet is not cheap, and a lot of product is made especially for this type of diet. You also need to buy vitamins and minerals in order for you to get the vitamins that you can get with animal products.
Reference
HealthLink BC. Vegan Diet. February 02, 2019. Retrieve from https://www.healthlinkbc.ca/
Rachel Link. The Vegetarian Diet: A Beginner's Guide and Meal Plan. October 17, 2018. Retrieve from https://www.healthline.com/
Better Health Channel. Nut Allergies. July 2017. Retrieve from https://www.betterhealth.vic.gov.au/
Lorna Kring. Nutritious Nuts: Great For Snacking. March 26, 2015. Retrieve from. https://foodal.com/
Rachel Link. Potatoes: Healthy or Unhealthy?. May 18, 2017. Retrieve from https://www.healthline.com/
Adda Bjarnadottir. Tomatoes 101: Nutrition Facts and Health Benefits. March 25, 2019. Retrieve from https://www.healthline.com/
Kris Gunnars. 12 Proven Health Benefits of Avocado. June 29, 2018. Retrieve from https://www.healthline.com/
Kris Gunnars. Spinach 101: Nutrition Facts and Health Benefits. May 14, 2019. Retrieve from https://www.healthline.com/
Alina Petre. What Is Tofu, and Is It Good for You? December 13, 2018. Retrieve from https://www.healthline.com/
Ania (Lazy Cat Kitchen). Savoury Vegan Breakfast Bowl. April 24, 2019. Retrieve from https://www.lazycatkitchen.com/
https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/9-benefits-oats-oatmeal#section2
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