QUEER MTL : quoi faire en mars 2024 // QUEER MTL THINGS TO DO: March 2024
QUEER MTL THINGS TO DO: March 2024
The year keeps marching on, and spring is on its way (not to mention International Women’s Day)! This month, Montréal is stuffed to the brim with events, parties and unique experiences painted in all the colours of the LGBTQ+ rainbow. From drag to community, circuit to underground, here’s some of our picks for the best LGBTQ+ things to do in the city. For further announcements, including those not announced at time of publication, follow QueerMTL on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr! Got an event coming up? DM it our way!
LEGEND
🎥 Cinema
👑 Drag
🥳 Parties
🎶 Concert
✊ Activism
🏳️⚧️ Trans
🏳️🌈 Community
😆 Comedy
🎭 Performance
💪 Sports and Dance
👯♀️ Dance
🎤 Karaoke
🎨 Arts
📚 Literary / Educational
👠 Ballroom / Vogue
Vendredi 1 mars / Friday, March 1
🏳️🌈 FAG QC* : 40 ans, 40 invité.es, 40 propositions tirées des Fonds des Archives Gaies du Québec, commemorating 40 years of the AGQ, Archives gaies du Québec
📚 Québec Lesbian Network hosts Colloque Recherches lesbiennes, Réseau des lesbiennes du Québec
🥳 Britney One More Time: 25 Years of Britney Dance Party, Cabaret Berlin
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
🤠 Club Bolo—Danse Country Montréal meet on Fridays at the Association sportive et communautaire du Centre-Sud
Samedi 2 mars / Saturday, March 2
🏳️🌈 FAG QC* : 40 ans, 40 invité.es, 40 propositions tirées des Fonds des Archives Gaies du Québec, commemorating 40 years of the AGQ, Archives gaies du Québec
🥳 Pikete presents Raveton with Jaijiu, Alta Magia, Jashim, Mcherry, La Niña Kiwi and Whorito, La Sotteranea
🥳 BLUSH x Nuit Blanche Montréal : Ménagerie with performers HercuSleaze and Lizzy Strange, DJs Patience, Girl, DJ Thatz and Glowzi, videographer Slug Bait and gogo dancers Dora Bones, Just Horny, Mina Minor and Stupid Baby Cupid at Nouvel établissement
🥳 Nuit Blanche—7 Péchés Capitaux, Le Protocole Kinky Lounge
🎤 Bareoke: Strip Karaoke, Café Cléopatra
👑 Jimmy Moore presents Madonna: The Celebration Tour, Cabaret Mado
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Jackbox Games with Uma Gahd and Selma Gahd, Bar Le Cocktail
👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz or Emma Déjàvu in rotation, Bar Le Cocktail
👯 Tango/Salsa Queer holds lessons every Saturday, visit queertangomtl.com for information or contact
[email protected] or call +1 (514) 709-4678 for prices and signup information, Espaces des Arts
Dimanche 3 mars / Sunday, March 3
🎭 Ligue d’impro Gailaxie, Cabaret Mado
👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Marla Deer, Bobépine, Robin Brutal, Faymiss and Kelly Torrieli Cabaret Mado
👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
Lundi 4 mars / Monday, March 4
😆 Trivia Night with PamDemic, La Casona
Mardi 5 mars / Tuesday, , March 5
👑 Full Gisèle : Spring Break with Gisèle Lullaby, Johnny Jones, Lana Dalida, Prudence and Victoire de Rockwell, Cabaret Mado
😆 Stand Up St. Henri Open Mic focusing on women, non-binary, queer and allied comedians, Impro Montréal
Mercredi 6 mars / Wednesday, March 6
🎨 Drink & Draw by @Hommehomo, Bar Le Cocktail
🎶 Glitterer with Glixen and Seed Toss, La Sotterenea
😆 Very Pretentious Comedy presents 30/30: Raquel Maestre and Yumi Blake at the Poly Mic with Raquel Maestre, Yumi Blake and Sarah Warren, Bar Notre-Dame-Des-Quilles
👑 Crystal and the Pals with Crystal Starz, Victoire de Rockwell, Eden Ashes and Rawxy, Cabaret Mado
Jeudi 7 mars / Thursday, March 7
📚Colloque international : Éthique queer, corporalités queer / Queer Ethics, Queer Embodiments conference, in French and English, Université de Montréal Pavillon Lionel-Groulx
🏳️🌈 Comité Queer Pointe-Saint Charles hosts Cuisine collective, Club Populaire des Consommateurs
👑 Girls’ Night Out with Krystella Fame, Tracy Trash, Bobépine and Jessie Précieuse, Cabaret Mado
👑 Concours MX Cocktail, Bar Le Cocktail
Vendredi 8 mars / Friday, March 8
📚Colloque international : Éthique queer, corporalités queer / Queer Ethics, Queer Embodiments conference, in French and English, Université de Montréal Pavillon Lionel-Groulx
🥳 Queen & Queer’s Lesbo-queer dance party is back for its Édition Journée Internationale des Droits des Femmes with Maus and DJ Sam, Société des arts technologiques [SAT]
🥳 Cerise Noire goth night with Shillelagh Jones and Elizabeth Leslie, Bar NDQ
🎶 Matana Roberts solo with special guests, La Sala Rossa
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
🤠 Club Bolo—Danse Country Montréal meet on Fridays at the Association sportive et communautaire du Centre-Sud
Samedi 9 mars / Saturday, March 9
📚Colloque international : Éthique queer, corporalités queer / Queer Ethics, Queer Embodiments conference, in French and English, Université de Montréal Pavillon Lionel-Groulx
📚 The Violet Hour Book Club reads Yukio Mishima’s Confessions of a Mask, Archives gaies du Québec
🥳 Jhalak presents Rangoli: A Queer and Trans South Asian Party with DJ Deep, Bar Champs
🥳 Armada Montréal RFC hosts Players with D’Jimi, Lion d’Or
🎭 Le Coin des Arts Montréal / Montreal Art Nook, White Wall Studio
👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Rihanna, Cabaret Mado
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz or Emma Déjàvu in rotation, Bar Le Cocktail
👯 Tango/Salsa Queer holds lessons every Saturday, visit queertangomtl.com for information or contact
[email protected] or call +1 (514) 709-4678 for prices and signup information, Espaces des Arts
Dimanche 10 mars / Sunday, March 10
👑 Afternoon Drag Café with Awful, La Pitre, Spiked Corona and Teddy Boop, L’Orbite
👑 Le Brunch aux Folles with Misty Waterfalls, Esirena and Selma Gahd, Bar Social Verdun
🎭 Ligue d’impro Gailaxie, Cabaret Mado
👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Pétula Claque, Kiara, Bambi Dextrous and Aizysse Baga, Cabaret Mado
👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
Lundi 11 mars / Monday, March 11
🎶 The Dandy Warhols, Le Studio TD
😆 Trivia Night with PamDemic, La Casona
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
Mardi 12 mars / Tuesday, March 12
🎶 Video Age with Sean Nicholas Savage, l’Escogriffe Bar Spectacle
👑 Full Gisèle : Invasion Maritime with Gisèle Lullaby, Brooke Rivers, Trinity Foxx, X and Jessie Précieuse, Cabaret Mado
👑 Garden of Shade : Heroes vs. Villains with Lulu Shade, Sarah Winters, Lady Boom Boom, Ciatha Night, Skyler Rey and Stella Stone, Bar Le Cocktail
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
🏳️🌈 Formation gratuite sur les familles LGBT+, Coalition des familles LGBT+
😆 Stand Up St. Henri Open Mic focusing on women, non-binary, queer and allied comedians, Impro Montréal
Mercredi 13 mars / Wednesday, March 13
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
Jeudi 14 mars / Thursday, March 14
👑 Le Meilleur des Grands Concerts with Tracy Trash, Bobépine, Johnny Jones, Lana Dalida, Marla Deer, Sasha Baga, Bambi Dextrous, Ruby Doll, Clay Thorris and Nicole Lamotte, Cabaret Mado
🎭 Queer Magique presents DIVAS, Café Cléopatra
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
👑 Concours MX Cocktail, Bar Le Cocktail
Vendredi 15 mars / Friday, March 15
🎭 Queer Magique presents DIVAS, Café Cléopatra
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
📚 Queer Oral History Workshop with Liam Devitt, Centre for Oral History and Digital Storytelling
🤠 Club Bolo—Danse Country Montréal meet on Fridays at the Association sportive et communautaire du Centre-Sud
Samedi 16 mars / Saturday, March 16
🎤 Bareoke: Strip Karaoke, Café Cléopatra
🎶 Stereolab’s Laetitia Sadier with Lola 1:2, Bar Le Ritz PDB
🎶 Chelsea Wolfe, Club Soda
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
🏳️⚧️ Atelier : Devenir parent (personnes trans ou non-binaires), Coalition des familles LGBT+
🏳️🌈 Comité Queer Pointe-Saint Charles hosts Soirée Cabaret, Press Start Youth Coop: Bâtiment 7
🥳 Queer Wine Night Edition No. 2, Vinorama
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz or Emma Déjàvu in rotation, Bar Le Cocktail
👯 Tango/Salsa Queer holds lessons every Saturday, visit queertangomtl.com for information or contact
[email protected] or call +1 (514) 709-4678 for prices and signup information, Espaces des Arts
Dimanche 17 mars / Sunday, March 17
🎭 Ligue d’impro Gailaxie, Cabaret Mado
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
🏳️🌈 Cabane à sucre des familles 2SLGBTQ+, Coalition des familles LGBT+
🏳️🌈 Monkland Quilt Studio hosts Rainbow Stitching Days, Monkland Quilt Studio
👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Marla Deer, Océane Aqua-Black, Sasha Baga, Eva Moist and Crystal Starz, Cabaret Mado
👑 Bonne fête Sally-D with Sally-D, Bar Le Cocktail
Lundi 18 mars / Monday, March 18
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
😆 Trivia Night with PamDemic, La Casona
Mardi 19 mars / Tuesday, March 19
🎶 Otoboke Beaver with Drinking Boys and Girls Choir, Beanfield Theatre
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
👑 Full Gisèle : Beach Party with Gisèle Lullaby, Kiara, Adriana, Démone Lastrange and Rose Beef, Cabaret Mado
😆 Stand Up St. Henri Open Mic focusing on women, non-binary, queer and allied comedians, Impro Montréal
Mercredi 20 mars / Wednesday, March 20
🏳️🌈 Haircuts Without Appointment for LGBTQ+ community members who are unemployed or on low income, Centre communautaire LGBTQ de Montréal
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
👑 Le Sami Party with Sami Landri, Cabaret Mado
Jeudi 21 mars / Thursday, March 21
👑 RuPaul’s Drag Race UK vs. The World contestant Marina Summers, Cabaret Mado
👑 Sashalicious with Sasha Baga, Scarlett Evans, Will Charmer and Maeva Evans, Cabaret Mado
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
👑 Concours MX Cocktail, Bar Le Cocktail
Vendredi 22 mars / Friday, March 22
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
🏳️🌈 Spring into Action: Outrage, full lineup here, QPIRG | GRIP McGill
👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
🤠 Club Bolo—Danse Country Montréal meet on Fridays at the Association sportive et communautaire du Centre-Sud
Samedi 23 mars / Saturday, March 23
📚 Violet Hour continues its literary series with Making Space featuring Michael Belcher, Paige Maylott and Marcus McCann, Casa d’Italia Montréal
🥳 Lez Dance presents Le retour de DJ Franklyne à la Taverne Urbaine! with DJ Franklyne, 1309 Taverne Urbaine
😆 Matteo Lane: The Al Dente Tour with Tranna Wintour, Olympia de Montréal
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Taylor Swift, Cabaret Mado
👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz or Emma Déjàvu in rotation, Bar Le Cocktail
👯 Tango/Salsa Queer holds lessons every Saturday, visit queertangomtl.com for information or contact
[email protected] or call +1 (514) 709-4678 for prices and signup information, Espaces des Arts
Dimanche 24 mars / Sunday, March 24
😆 Matteo Lane: The Al Dente Tour with Tranna Wintour, Olympia de Montréal
🎭 Ligue d’impro Gailaxie, Cabaret Mado
👑 Le Tracy Show with Tracy Trash, Pétula Claque, Kitana, Peggy Sue and Lady Boom Boom, Cabaret Mado
👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
Lundi 25 mars / Monday, March 25
😆 Trivia Night with PamDemic, La Casona
Mardi 26 mars / Tuesday, March 26
🎶 Olivia Rodrigo: Guts World Tour, Bell Centre
🎶 Arlo Parks with Chloe George, Beanfield Theatre
👑 Full Gisèle : Burlesque, le Film with Gisèle Lullaby, Pétula Claque, Lady Boom Boom, Miss Fountain, Sasha Baga and Celes, Cabaret Mado
😆 Stand Up St. Henri Open Mic focusing on women, non-binary, queer and allied comedians, Impro Montréal
Mercredi 27 mars / Wednesday, March 27
🎶 Olivia Rodrigo: Guts World Tour, Bell Centre
Jeudi 28 mars / Thursday, March 28
🎶 Rêve with RALPH, Fairmount Theatre
🏳️🌈 Comité Queer Pointe-Saint Charles hosts Club de lecture Queer, Bibliothèque Saint-Charles
👑 Trashilaz with Aizysse Baga and Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Concours MX Cocktail, Bar Le Cocktail
Vendredi 29 mars / Friday, March 29
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Vendredi Fou with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
🤠 Club Bolo—Danse Country Montréal meet on Fridays at the Association sportive et communautaire du Centre-Sud
Samedi 30 mars / Saturday, March 30
🎤 Bareoke: Strip Karaoke, Café Cléopatra
🥳 District Events presents Locker Room with Reid Bourgeois, Alain Jackinsky and Mateo Tomas, Bain Mathieu
👑 Mado Reçoit with Special Guests, Cabaret Mado
👑 Jimmy Moore personnifie Britney Spears, Cabaret Mado
👑 Drôles de Drags with Miss Butterfly, Ciathanight, Crystal Starz or Emma Déjàvu in rotation, Bar Le Cocktail
👯 Tango/Salsa Queer holds lessons every Saturday, visit queertangomtl.com for information or contact
[email protected] or call +1 (514) 709-4678 for prices and signup information, Espaces des Arts
Dimanche 31 mars / Sunday, March 31
👑 Jimmy Moore presents Madonna: The Celebration Tour, Cabaret Mado
👑 Star Queens : Pâques with Plane Jane, Aurora Matrix, Denim, Pythia and Carmen Sutra, Cabaret Mado
👑 Dimanche Show with Michel Dorion, Bar Le Cocktail
OTHERS / LES AUTRES
🏐 Les Ratons-Chasseurs (Montréal’s LGBTA dodgeball group) holds regular events. Keep an eye on their Facebook for upcoming opportunities to join in and play.
🕹Montréal Gaymers hosts regular gatherings including board game nights and gaming gatherings. Check their Facebook for what’s next!
🏃🏾Join the Out-Run run and workout club for people relating to the queer / sapphic experience. Details on their Instagram!
🐦 Bird lovers should keep their eye on Queer Birders' regularly scheduled birdwatching events and excursions. Join the Facebook group and get those binoculars at the ready.
👠 Twice a month on every second Tuesday, Bring It! hosts an OTA night of ballroom and vogue with commentator and DJ. Follow their Instagram for dates and details.
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Heaven Is A Bucket of Prawns
Whumptober Day 8: Everything Hurts & I’m Dying/Stomach Pain
"You're quiet."
"Your power of observation astounds me as usual," Loki said listlessly.
Stephen was not fooled. He could read Loki's deflections almost as well as his silences, and his sort-of boyfriend's silence tonight was of the suspicious kind, if not a little alarming.
Was it the movie? Had he chosen the wrong one to watch?
But Just Like Heaven's a classic! An inside voice argued. Why wouldn't Loki like it?
"We can watch something else if rom-coms aren't your thing?" Stephen suggested for the second time that night; he never did receive Loki's answer the first time he asked it.
"The movie's fine," Loki said vaguely.
"Well, what is it then?"
Loki abruptly stood. "I need to go to the bathroom.”
Stephen tried to suppress a sigh but it exited his nose instead, inadvertently coming across more irritated than he intended. It was typical of Loki, avoiding conversations when clearly something was up.
The bathroom visits became a repeat occurrence, and soon, Stephen became too distracted to focus on the movie. When Loki returned to the couch after his third trip to the toilet, Stephen pounced.
"What's wrong?” Stephen asked, noting the poorly concealed look of distress on Loki’s face. “Are you okay?"
Loki sighed, digging his fingers into his waist. "Something I ate isn't agreeing with me."
Stephen watched Loki swallow compulsively like someone trying hard not to be sick. His boyfriend sure looked green around the gills. "Did you throw up?"
"I tried," Loki huffed. "It mostly hurts.”
A pang of déjàvu hit Stephen like a freight truck. It had been a little over a month since Loki’s brush with death, and no, Stephen was not being dramatic. He still had the occasional nightmares about it. “You…it’s not that thing again, is it?”
“What are you on about?” Loki mumbled, trying to make himself comfortable but no amount of fidgeting was helping.
“Peptic ulcers have a recurrence rate of up to thirty percent within the first year, even with religious use of PPIs.”
“What are you trying to say?”
“Well, you aren’t exactly religious.”
Loki gave a derisive snort. “Now there’s a marker of a date night going well. You start throwing statistics around and flaunting your conscientiousness.”
Stephen grabbed the remote control out of Loki’s hand and pressed the pause button.
A weak protest, “Hey, I was watching that.”
“No, you weren’t. This isn’t the nineties, we can replay it anytime,” Stephen said. He pushed himself, and all the cushions, off of the couch. "Lie down."
As expected, Loki's stubborn streak reared its head. "I'm fine."
"I'll be the judge of that. Lie down."
"You can't tell me what to do," Loki said petulantly.
"I can when the last time you told me you had a stomach ache, it turned out to be an ulcer and you almost bled to death on my operating table."
Loki averted his eyes. "I didn't tell you anything.”
"My point exactly." Stephen said. "Abdominal surgery is the most common cause of adhesions, and adhesions cause more than half of small bowel obstructions."
"You're being paranoid, you know that? Paranoid and overbearing," Loki complained. "It's unattractive."
"Ballpark figure is seventy percent," Stephen continued his rant. "We can talk about my looks later."
"Strange, I can tell the difference between food poisoning and a bowel obstruction. I'm not an idiot."
"No, you're absolutely the smartest person I know, coz now you're going to let me have a feel, okay?" Stephen pleaded. He patted the armrest. "You were right. I am paranoid. Humor me."
"Honestly!" Loki threw himself back onto the couch with a huff, followed closely by a soft, pained ‘Damn’ when the movement induced a wave of cramps that rippled across his abdomen. “Ow, ow, ow…”
Stephen could only follow with worried eyes as Loki shot out of his seat and staggered for the bathroom again. When he returned a few minutes later, he was a few shades paler than normal and sweating lightly, his hair clinging to the sides of his head like a crown of thorns.
Loki crawled into Stephen’s lap on his own volition, a testament to how utterly wretched he must be feeling. It was an awkward position, and hardly the most ideal to conduct a proper examination in, but at least Loki was horizontal enough that Stephen could slip a clinical hand in to feel his belly.
It felt warm to the touch as though Loki was running a bit of a temperature, but it was soft, with no one part more tender than the other. A turbulence rumbled beneath Stephen’s palm, a cacophonous borborygmus that hinted at a more innocent, but no less worrying, cause of Loki’s suffering.
He fished his stethoscope out from under the coffee table.
"You keep your stuff in the most random places," Loki observed critically. "How did you even know it was there?"
"One’s allowed to be messy, as long as one knows one’s own mess," Stephen said, shrugging. He pressed the diaphragm of the stethoscope to Loki's belly and listened for a good ten seconds, before presenting his findings to his patient.
“It sounds like a circus in there," Stephen commented. "I think the shrimps and the fish tacos are duking it out."
"Please," Loki groaned, gripping his stomach tighter. "Don't mention food. I don't think there's anything left in me to evacuate."
“Yeah, a bad case of Montezuma’s revenge will do that to you,” Stephen winced in sympathy. He nodded at a glass on the table. "Do you think you can keep down some fluids? I can put you on a drip if that's easier."
Loki allowed Stephen to help him up and accepted the glass, eyeing the effervescent, radioactive-looking liquid with dread. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
Stephen took one look at the back of Loki's white, shaky hand and changed his mind. "Not gonna be easy, with your veins all collapsed like that. Drink up, you need to replenish your electrolytes."
Loki glared at his boyfriend over his Hydralyte. “You and your electrolytes."
"What can I say? It's my love language," Stephen deadpanned.
Loki almost choked, electrolyte water spurting out of his nose and quite possibly, from his eyeballs too. "You fucker."
"Seriously, what did you think it was? The takeout tasted fine, and we both ate the same thing," Stephen said.
"Not at lunch, we didn't." Loki grimaced at the memory. "I think the prawn cocktails they served at that drug talk today were dodgy."
“Drug talk?” Stephen’s forehead furrowed into a thousand creases. “But Merck & Co always do great lunches.”
Loki shook his head, looking nauseated all of a sudden. “Pfizer.”
“Yeah…they can be a hit-and-miss,” Stephen clicked his tongue in disapproval. Then his eyes narrowed. "Wait. Were you feeling sick before you came over?"
Loki fixated on something very interesting on Stephen’s ceiling. “You should get that crack checked out. There, in the corner right there - ”
“Odinson,” he growled.
“Give me a break, Strange. It’s my first night off in weeks!” Loki’s voice dropped to a sullen mumble. “Yours too.”
Understanding finally dawned on Stephen, as did an avalanche of exasperation and a flight of fluffy, fluttery butterflies. “Loki, if you’re sick, you’re sick. These things happen.”
“Yes, but why always to me?” Loki mourned.
“Doctor Masterson would beg to differ,” Stephen said, referring to the female lead character in the movie they had just half-watched. “All that time spent working herself to death only for a car accident to do her in when she’s on the verge of finding love. I told you, you gotta listen to your body when it’s trying to tell you things.”
Loki sniffed. “You do realise you’re feeding me philosophical advice from a movie.”
“It’s a good movie, apparently,” Stephen said. “My scrub nurse recommended it.”
“Let me guess. She’s into Mark Ruffalo.”
“Everyone’s into Mark Ruffalo. I think it’s all that hair.”
Loki broke into a chuckle, but it was cut short when his stomach seized again, this time with a cramp so horrendous it left him prostrated in Stephen’s lap and shaking like a leaf.
"God, this fucking hurts," Loki moaned into Stephen's thigh. "I think I'm dying."
Stephen rubbed comforting circles on Loki’s back. “There's nothing more reassuring to me than you admitting that you feel like shit. You'll live."
Loki could sense Stephen fussing over him but he hardly registered it, so thoroughly consumed by the raging pain in his stomach.
A few excruciating seconds later, the cramp passed, and Loki unfolded himself gingerly. He clasped a hand over Stephen’s, only now realising it had been there the whole time, massaging the knots in his belly.
“Are you okay? Should we go to the ER anyway?”
“And let people see me like this? We’ll be the laughingstock of the whole hospital.”
“I don’t give a shit about other people.”
Loki heard the sick anxiety in Stephen’s voice and was instantly overcome by guilt. “I’m sorry, Stephen.”
“What the hell for?”
For coming over. For being a bother. For noticing the prawn had smelled a little funky and eating it anyway.
“Did you know E. coli smells like Worcestershire sauce?”
“You can’t see, smell or taste E. coli,” Stephen said flatly.
Loki could do without seeing the worry in Stephen’s eyes. It was terribly ageing on him.
“I’ll be fine, Stephen,” he said firmly. “I’m tougher than I look, you know.”
A look of sadness fell over Stephen’s face. “Yeah, I know.”
Loki sighed; he could not help feeling sorry for himself. “This wasn’t how I imagined tonight was going to be.”
“How did you imagine tonight was going to be?”
Loki shrugged. “Certainly not you giving me a belly rub like a five-year-old.”
Stephen’s face softened. “I don’t mind it.”
“I ruined our movie night.”
“It’s just a movie,” Stephen said. "There's always next time."
“You're right," Loki mumbled. "There'll be more things to ruin next time."
"That's the spirit," Stephen said fondly. He ran his fingers through clumps of Loki's lank hair. "You idiot. Why couldn’t you just tell me?”
“I took a couple of Imodium from your medicine cabinet.”
“That’s not an answer, Loki.”
Loki was quiet for a while. “Maybe I don’t have one. Not yet, anyway.”
He braved a glance upward. “Is that…okay?”
Stephen slowly bent and gave Loki an upside down kiss. “Silly Loki. Do you really have to ask?”
A rumbling sound emanated from somewhere in the region of Loki's midsection.
“Should I go get a bucket?” Stephen whispered huskily. “I should go get a bucket.”
“Yes, oh yes.” For how could Loki refuse? It was the most romantic offer of a bucket Loki had ever received in his entire life. “You most definitely should.”
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