#DEPRESSION MOMENTARILY CURED | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lynchsrqven · 5 months

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Daylight (Megumi Fushiguro x female reader)

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Author’s note: hihihi. This is my first time writing something like this so I really hope you guys like it. Please let me know if you spot any grammatical/ sentence construction errors because I’m really trying to improve my writing:)

Content: a little angst at the beginning but mostly fluff

Warnings (?): mild cringe at the beginning

Word count: 1.8k

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"Gumi?" She muttered incoherently.

"Hmm?" He answered sleepily, his voice muffled.

The day before, Y/n had had a rather miserable day. Once training was over, which was around 5pm, she had walked back to her dorm and decided to reflect back on the days conversations and failures. Well half of the conversations were also failures so there wasn't much of a difference.

Originally, She had planned to clean her room, all surfaces of whose were covered with clothes, books or miscellaneous objects, while watching a movie. Unfortunately her day had gone by so glum that the prospect of watching a fun romcom seemed like too much to bear. Wait no- actually her day had gone by just fine. Normal. Perfect, even. It was her who was the problem.

She considered watching little women (honestly insert any film/series that brings you comfort) but then decided against it. She tried to clean her room anyways, only this time it was the amalgamation of swivels and memories, chaos and dejected voices in her head which kept her company instead of the buzzing of actors and actresses voices.

Midway transferring her clothes from the deranged bed to the closet she gave up and crumpled into a heap on the ground, mirroring the dirty clothes. She took her head between her palms and attempted to cry as she watched the bust of her sweater rise and fall. Crying always made everything better. The tears would wash away the hollow-ness in her chest and provide her some kind of comfort. After some time, it became evident that they'd taken a day off and she'd be stuck with the misery and claustrophobia in her mind for quite some time. She considered going to her bed no napping the feeling away somehow but didn't find it in her legs. Eventually she laid on the forgiving floor and fell asleep there, the cool of it caressing her cheek, a sensation still prevalent when she woke up. She checked the time- 9pm. Dinner would be over in an hour. She got up from the floor, momentarily sure of her pre-nap anguish's departure. Unfortunately it was still there, engulfing her awhole as she made her way to the bathroom- the next stop for her desolation.

Finally, at 11pm, she made her way to the boys dormitory and knocked at Megumi's door. Although she wished to deal with these bouts of depression herself, the desire to see Megumi subsided the former. Megumi opened the door slightly, his head poking out of the cornor. A small shaft of light illuminated the corridor's wooden flooring.

"Y/n?" His eyes wrinkled at the corner and he was now in the middle of the door frame. "What happened?"

"Nothing, I just wanted to see you."

He stepped away from the door, inviting her in. Once inside, she stood there a little akwardly not sure of what to do or say.

"I didn't see you in the cafeteria during dinner. Did you visit later today?"

"No I fell asleep." She partly lied.

“It might be open right now. Do you want to go?"

"Won't we have to pay if we went so late?"

"That's not an issue."

"That's okay, I don't really feel like eating right now." She partly lied again.

"Are you sure?"

“Yeah."

Now Megumi was looking at her silently, probably trying to analyse her behaviour.

"So what were you doing?" Y/n asked, trying to break the partly non-existent ice.

"Reading this book..."

“Oh nice"

"Yeah it's about this war in ancient Egypt."

“Tell me more about it." She urged as she seated herself on his bed, parallel to the chair infront of his desk where he seated himself. She wanted his boyish voice to cure her. And it did. Megumi liked to read non-fiction, a fact that struck Y/n as odd. While she herself liked to read, she couldn't comprehend why someone would want to read about real people and their real lives when they could just read...made up stuff. Something to give them a break from reality rather than pull them back into it. But sometimes, when Megumi told her about the various books he'd read, she'd get the appeal. Heck, she'd even want to try one herself.

Megumi was quick with this kind of stuff. Quickly elucidating the synopsis without any unnecessary details, a skill Y/n thoroughly lacked. Soon enough he was done telling her about his book.

"How far in are you right now?" Y/n asked him.

"About a hundred pages. It's not very long though. I only have seventy more to go."

"That's great, I love short books."

"What about you? Are you reading something at the moment?"

"Er yeah- Red Queen by Victoria Aveyard." Suddenly her book seemed very inferior compared to his.

"Any good?"

"Yeah it's pretty nice. I'll tell you more once I've read a little further."

"I see" neither of you having anything to say now.

"You can go back to your reading by the way. I don't really mind. I just wanted to be near you."

"No, I'd rather talk to you." He said as he came over and sat next to her. Y/n smiled weakly at him and quietly rested her head on his shoulder.

“By the way, are you okay?" Megumi asked as he reached out and held her hand inbetween their laps.

"Yeah..."

"Really?"

"Yeah, just- just..."

"Bad day?" He offered.

"Yeah. Bad day. Very bad day." She confessed as she tried to somehow bury her head into his shoulder.

"I see."

"Yeah."

"Would you like some tea?"

Y/n laughed at his suggestion. Although she didn't really feel like having tea, she didn't want to perpetually turn him down.

“Sure, why not."

He got up and went to made them tea. Soon enough, it began to rain. Once Megumi was done, he came and sat on the bed, one of his legs folded beneath him, the other hanging down. Y/n, previously at his desk, looking at some textbooks kept there, headed back towards him and sat down in the space between his legs. They drank their tea on the bed itself, something Megumi normally didn't allow. Once they were done drinking their tea, Y/n kept the cups on Megumi's desk and then returned to their initial position.

"I like your hands." She whispered to him as she held one of his in both of hers.

"Yeah?" She could hear the smile in his whisper.

"Yeah. Their very...masculine yet fragile looking." She moved his hand up to kiss it, a slow, hushed movement. She kept it against her mouth even after it.

"I like your hair," he told her, "they remind of that river we saw on our mission to Kyoto."

"Why do they remind you of a river?"

"I don't really know. I suppose it's because you insisted on collecting rocks from it once the task at hand was done. Itadori was very enthusiastic and threw water all over you. Some of your locks stuck to your face."

"Megumi, that was six months ago." She chuckled.

"The sun was directly on you and you were laughing and throwing water back at Itadori. I was reminded of that one song you like," He paused for a bit. "Daylight. That Taylor swift song."

Y/n closed her eyes, rabid butterflies flying aimlessly in her stomach.

"I love you." She whispered as she moved her face towards his, slowly locking in their lips.

"I love you too." She heard him mumble over her lips. He rested his lips atop hers even when the kiss was over. The rain escalated, a thunder boom triumphant over the heart beat in her ears. Y/n pushed herself deeper into his embrace, wanting his warmth to engulf her. Megumi softly fell on the bed response, now holding holding her next to him, both their feets still hanging from the bed's ledge. They stayed that way for a while.

"Do you want to stay the night?"

Although they weren't actually given any information regarding staying over at each others dorms, especially if they were of the opposite sex, y/n felt it went as an unsaid rule. Not that it mattered. She had stayed over Megumi's plenty of times before.

"I would like that very much." She pressed her lips at his once more. Megumi sat up, pulling her up along with him. He kissed her once more.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom, okay?" He informed her. She nodded and laid down on his bed again. This time properly though- with her head on the pillow and a big blanked over her. Megumi joined her soon enough, his head somewhere infront her own, his arms holding her loosely, but firmly. He fell asleep that way, her breaths sofly fanning his cupids bow.

"Gumi?" Y/n muttered incoherently. She had been awake for around thirty minutes now, her thoughts keeping her company and Megumi keeping her warm.

"Hmm?" He mumbled in response, his voice muffled. She had thought spending time would make her alright but thirty minutes of remembering yesterday had bought it back to her. Megumi's voice softened something inside her and suddenly her vision was blurry and soon enough her face was wet. Megumi suddenly opened his eyes and looked at her. She could see him physically panic. He wasn't very sure on handle such situations.

"Hey," he said and hugged her.

"You know, I really, really hate myself." She said said gave out a helpless laugh amidst her tears.

"Then...do you think you'd let me love you for the both of us?"

Y/n could only sniff in reply.

They stated that way for a long, long while. Y/n wallowing while Megumi held her.

"Do you feel any better now?" He asked as he caressed her cheeks.

"I do. Thank you." She leaned into his touch.

"Well then. Let's get you something to eat? If you don't feel like seeing the others I can grab something and bring it back for you."

"No, it's fine. I don't want the others getting suspicious. Can we go to my room first so that I can change into my uniform?"

On the way to the cafeteria, Megumi held y/n's hand. Not dropping it even when an intrigued Gojo in the hallway laughed at him.

"Hey lovebirds!" Panda greeted you both enthusiastically upon entering. Nobara shifted her chair a little so you had space to sit next to her. Itadori explained the plot of some movie he had watched to all of you.

And you watched as the daylight filtered in through the window and fell on your table, making everyone glow a little. And maybe, just maybe, you could step into their familiar hue and let go of your self hatred. Under the table, you interlocked your fingers with Nobara and grinned at Megumi.

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#megumi fushiguro #jjk megumi #megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi #jjk #jujustu kaisen #jjk x reader

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bloomfish · 7 days

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I am NOT endorsing or promoting the use of any recreational drugs. Do NOT do drugs, they are bad. Anyway here's why I think ketamine is great

So a pretty common thing I've noticed among casual drug users is that they very often are for some reason TERRIFIED of ketamine. And this includes people who have done like, Ayahuasca or peyote which I personally am extremely apprehensive about. And I don't get it! I think K is a misunderstood old thing :(

Obviously it's not something I would recommend to anyone without experience of psychodelics. However I think even people who do have experience with psychodelics might have had negative experiences with ket simply because they don't know what to expect going in so they're caught off guard. It's NOT a psychodelic and it shouldn't be treated like one. It's NOT a party drug and it shouldn't be treated like one (at least not until you're used to it). It's a dissociative, which can be unfamiliar. But I sincerely find it like... Mild compared to acid?

I think it's about a) being careful with portions. People who are used to railing massive lines of blow assume that they can handle that with ket and rly to start you should be doing the tiniest bumps possible, you do not want to be trying for a K-Hole at first (I never do in general bc i like consciousness). You build tolerance very fast but always err on the side of less. Whatever you think you can handle, take some off.

b) creating the right environment. As I said, it's not a party drug. It's for chilling on the sofa with your favourite music and a good friend. Take all pressure off and make sure there's nothing you need to actually do. Don't combine it with any other drug (ESPECIALLY not acid!!!!)

c) having the right mindset going in. Two things about this, first the effects of ketamine are over fast. It always passes after a short while, and if you're aware of that you can relax and know you'll be okay because even if you don't like it you'll be fine soon, so you might as well just try and enjoy what you can. Second, as with any drug anxiety and overthinking will make it worse- typically in a situation where you feel like you're losing control I'd suggest trying to relax and find something pleasant about the sensation to focus on until you ride it out. That's why you should make absolutely sure you're in a position where nothing can happen to you except being conked out on the sofa for a while.

All this being said, what ARE the benefits? She's a weird one for sure, as I said it's a dissociative– this means that you kind of feel like you're outside your body. At higher doses people see their body from the ceiling and stuff but I don't think it's necessary to get to that level. At lower doses it's just floaty. Like with psychodelics music can sound like the best thing ever and conversations can be super deep/hilarious in a way that makes 0 sense later. Things, especially your body, can feel really cool and the way you see the world is just weird and different and interesting. I've tried a fair amount of "mainstream" drugs and the best/most enjoyable highs I've had have been with ketamine by far.

An interesting thing about ketamine is that there's not really any comedown nor hangover– unlike something like mdma you don't go through days of depression afterwards. Actually it's kind of the opposite, you can actually feel better about life and the world afterwards. The reason for this in my non-scientific opinion is that being momentarily detached from your body gives you a weird kind of outside perspective on life? And then when you're back on earth things just look different. It's honestly been helpful to me for processing specific things on occasion.

Obviously this is a recreational drug, not a cure for depression nor a long term emotional crutch and there ARE risks just like with any substance. I mentioned that you build tolerance quickly– for me this was an incentive to use infrequently because otherwise you start needing bigger doses to achieve the same effects. That doesn't mean it's impossible to create a dependency or that there might not be risks. Like anything, it's about being careful and safe and knowing your personal limits.

I am also not saying that everyone should go out and try ket. Certainly I would not recommend it to the average Tumblr user. I merely think that she's underrated and could potentially be enjoyed (in a responsible way 🥴) by people who have experience with and know they can handle LSD or shrooms or similar (NOT AT THE SAME TIME. DONT COMBINE KETAMINE AND LSD LOL u probably won't die but it won't be fun 😭). I think if you're used to the feeling of surrendering control for a while and Ur reasonable about dosage it's really like... much less extreme than acid. And can be rly rly fun especially with friends but it can also be nice alone!

#also obv test everything especially in the US I'm scared for you guys #i feel like the thing it most feels similar to for me is being very very drunk. but without the sickening aspect of drunkenness #and more detached from reality. it's strange!#also 1 thing i hate about acid is the risk of waking up still high. like NO. the worst

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wurm-food · 4 months

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depression momentarily cured by going dancing this week wahhhhh

#disco really is the cure for everything actually #that and wearing big shoes and a slutty little outfit #wurm.txt

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drippingheart · 3 months

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── ❛ He . . . He's dead. ❜

The night of mission at the detention centre and even the day after was a blur. A blur of his perception of time just as the literal blur marring his vision; eyes fighting the cloud of melancholy threatening to downpour like the rainy season. It had been Fushiguro Megumi who failed to trick Sukuna. Megumi who watched Itadori Yuuji's heart being ripped out. He who wanted to disintegrate in the rain with the ease his shikigami dissolved into the shadows. Why couldn't the worst outcome of the mission been losing shiro? It almost felt like cosmic karma momentarily mourning the death of a shikigami he treated more like a companion than a weapon.

A special grade curse was dismantled solely by Yuuji's hand and at what cost? Just as Megumi could not erase the sight of the hole in Yuuji's chest, he could not erase the horrid nausea and chill rippling through his body as he had to carry his friend's corpse. Kugisaki Nobara and he escaped with their lives, a little worse for wear, but at what cost? Sukuna had been disgustingly smug, too; why couldn't the king of curses pummel him to the ground until he lost conscious ... until he lost his memory.

Another thing he did not recall was the entire trip to Jujutsu Tech nor releasing the death grip on Yuuji's wet and cooling body. Someone must have. Someone must have also guided Megumi to Ieri-san where his wounds were selfishly tended to, meanwhile there was no curing Yuuji. Why had the trio of first years been dispatched to exorcise a special grade curse? Why did the children fight? Why ... Why ...

WHY — why everything.

Fushiguro Megumi was no stranger to tragedy; life wrought in death and abandonment even before his technique surfaced. HIs father being a phantom in his life held less weight than the death of a both he barely knew. A boy, of course, who was doomed to death because Megumi was too weak to keep Sukuna's finger from being consumed. Megumi had accepted it; a bold lie which became easier to swallow each day despite facing the warmth which was Itadori's brilliance.

The King of Curses was not required to fill his head with demons ... they dominated his psyche on their own. He was plagued just as Megumi himself was a plague; his life contaminated and toxic to those around him. Jujutsu sorcerers were not supposed to display their depression. Be it seven or forty, sorcerers were weapons to kill and ultimately be killed. Like his shikigami, Megumi's tears were kept to the shadows.

Two days after the fateful night at the detention centre, the onyx haired youth emerged from his room with the excuse of requiring solitude to heal his wounds. What he needed was clean air ... and food. As soon as the plain rice touched his lips, a new wave of sickness coiled in his belly, and the onigri was abandoned to take fresh air outside. The school never felt so dismal as it did then, not even compared to when he was the sole first year. HIs solitude had been just that. Now he felt a genuine loneliness that kuro, his last remaining divine dog, could not dismantle.

What were his senpais doing? What was ... Kugisaki @strawdxll doing? Megumi was not normal. HIs sister, the most normal relationship he had, was doomed and comatose. Knowing not how to interact like a healthy human being, the teen dared not approach the woman. It made him feel shitty. One heap of shit piled on another without mercy. The storm clouds hanging over his head must have been perceptible from a kilometre away. One dimension of his guilt subsided with gentle footfalls approaching.

── ❛ Hey... ❜

#𝟬𝟖 chimera shadow garden .#strawdxll

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