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#DID discussed a lot but idk if i shout even tag it to that tag so
galaxygalthemess · 3 years
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my mom helped me by proofreading poems for my class. one of them was about the undiagnosed whatever in my head that makes me have memory loss, focusing on the possibilityvof DID. since i almost got hospitalized, i told her about how ive been talking to my therapist avout this, but im not diagnosed and im in a better state now (the poem was written when i was in a bad place, and focused on how scary not knowing at alll what is actually going on is. is it ptsd? DID? Other? who knows!)
her response to this was to suggest i change therapists because "i dont think you have that DID stuff. and you didnt really need to be hospitalized"(i asked my therapist to alert my parents to my issues as i could not bring myself to do it, and i was at a place where she legally, but also because shes worked with me for a while and said this is the worst shes seen, highly recommended i go for a stay)
I had to sit down my mom and explain everything she thought there was 'no way i could have/need) were things i brought up after careful evaluation and, like a good therapist, she talks and reasons with me about what could and couldnt be. i had to explain that how i was raised as a child with my bio dad was textbook formula for chances of having DID. that i started my last session telling my therapist my bad thoughts got worse snd i think i need to go for a stay at a psych ward. that those things are things i wanted to talk about because I BROUGHT THRM UP. i had to explain how symptoms work! how its not like youd notice if someone else was up front if i had DID, because thats the WHOLE POINT. i didnt even get into how it could manifest cause i was just done
thank gods i only talked about those two, and not the other shit like possible ptsd, bpd, anger issues, how bad my eating issues are, ect
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woofety · 5 years
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So, I’m not sure if I messed anything, but the other day I was checking the list of blogs I am following to clean it a bit by unfollowing some inactive blogs to find out randomly that I’m no longer following also other blogs I didn’t want to unfollow, the sky knows why.
Then I find out that I can no longer rant as much as I want in the tags if I want my published posts to show in the search and tag engines - I even contacted support about it but it will be mostly confirmation as I tested my theory and apparently the problem I’ve had with my posts not showing is too many and long tags.
... wonderful.
#I wonder#I have no idea if there are other people I have unfollowed by accident#if only I knew if I did something wrong myself or it was just Tumblr messing up#as for the tags I suppose that for my posts I'll have to say goodbye to my rants#and that saddens me - A LOT - I don't think I ever had this kind of problem before my hiatus#not that they are important or relevant or anything but making a post and not being free to discuss it in the tags is almost unconceivable#not writing anything at all just makes me feel so meh - and I can't summarize my thought in just 1 or 2 tags#not even school succeded in teaching me how to be concise lol tumblr you want to be the one to do it? ha good luck with that#yeah I know I could write something in the caption but it's just not the same thing I don't know if you understand#writing in the caption I'd feel compelled to make a proper speech and think too much about what I write#while in the tags it's like idk whispering or shouting something randomly - as an outburst of excitement anger joy#writing in the caption is just not the same thing - also I wouldn't want people to reblog my rants if they don't want to#if they are in the tags they can read and decide if insert them or not in a reblog#if my ramblings are in the caption they'd have to actively remove them if they don't want them to show and it would be so annoying for them#also I usually put a quote or anything more relevant to the post and adding my thoughts would ruin the already poor aesthetics there is#not that it matters too much if a posts shows or not but in all honesty if I put a bit of an effort to make something#and want to publish it here I'd appreciate if people could actually see it#it could be nothing (my things usually are) but if there is a chance someone might like it I would take it#otherwise I wouldn't bother publish anything - what would be the point if people don't see it?#yeah the people who follow you have more chances of seeing it but not everyone does - especially from different fandoms#how is it possible to make this platform even more a mess than it already was? come on seriously :((((
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duckugou · 3 years
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What if y/n was having a girls night and they started talking about lewd stuff or kinks (maybe they were playing T or D? Idk) and the mha guys they liked or are in a relationship with BUTTT it turns out they boys were eavesdropping ANDD THEY GOT ALL HOT AND BOTHERED AND WANTED TO FULFILL Y/ns FANTASY💘💦 you can pick which one ends up with y/n……….I’m not super sure how your requests work (I didn’t find your rules) uh so if it doesn’t work like this please ignore this 🙈😳🤭 thank you 
skrtttt my first request! I made a rule page after seeing this bc i realized that i didnt have one- but YES okay onward-
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sleepover fantasies
bakugou x fem!reader
aged up! american college AU
I made some changes but kept the basic idea of the request! I hope you enjoyyy!
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
cw: SMUT, Nosy ass boys, sex toys, discussion about fantasies and kinks, choking mentioned, impact play mentioned, choking, face fucking mentioned, the name princess used, oral (fem recieving), unprotected sex, gagging on fingers, cream pie, small aftercare, the whole fic is sexual, not proofread
!!come to my asks to be a part of my taglist! just let me know what kinds of fics/ what fandom/ what characters/ etc you want to be tagged in! Requests are open!!!!
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Being in college meant more work and less time with friends. Obviously, this takes a toll on a whole group of friends that have been together for years. So, naturally, Mina and Kirishima decide to plan a once a month group sleepover at their shared apartment just off campus.
A lot of the time, it started with everyone- Denki, Bakugou, Sero, Kirishima, Deku, Todoroki, Mina, Y/n, Ochako, Jirou, Asui, and Momo- in the living room lightly drinking, smoking, playing Mario Kart, debating random shit that didn't matter, and ordering food. It would always end with the guys in the living room and the girls in Mina and Kirishima's shared bedroom.
And thats exactly how tonight went.
Tossing their bags in various spots around the room, Jirou found herself sat on the floor next to Momo- who was half asleep. Ochako and Asui sat on bean bags they dragged in from the living room. Mina and Y/n flopped themselves on the bed. A collective sigh rang through the room as the girls were all relieved to be away from the guys for the time being.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP- YOU CHEATED SPARKY." Bakugou's voice was loud enough to boom through the shut bedroom door.
"I DID NOT- AND EVEN IF I DID YOU CANT KILL ME-" Denki sounded panicked.
"LIKE HELL I CANT-" Bakugou shouted back, the sound of Kirishima trying to calm the angrier of the blondes down made the girls laugh.
"God- how do they have so much energy still?" Momo asked, leaning her head on Jirous shoulder with her eyes closed.
"How are you so tired? Its like- 10 pm." Mina asked, laying on her stomach facing the girl in question.
"This week sucked- too many tests and projects all at once." Momo responded with closed eyes.
"Oh my god- me too! Why do all professors plan this shit in the same week?" Ochako piped in, earning a nod of agreement from Asui.
"They're all in on it together Im convinced." Asui added, making Jirou giggle.
"Just wanna see us fail-" Jirous thought was interrupted.
"YOU FUCKIN NASTY BITCH." Y/n yelled, hopping up from the bed, pink vibrator and a pair of keys in hand.
"OH MY GOD NO-" Mina tried to get the pink toy out of Y/ns hand to no avail as she jumped on the bed away from her.
"What the hell?!" Ochako asked, marveling at the scene playing out in front of her.
"WHY WOULD YOU LEAVE THESE ON THE NIGHT STAND-" Y/n asked.
"ITS CLEAN I SWEAR- IT NEEDED TO DRY OFF FROM BEING CLEANED OFF." Mina exclaimed, snatching the toy from Y/n's hand.
"What the hell are these for?" Y/n asked, flopping back down onto the bed, dangling the keys in front of her face.
"I think I could tell ya-" Jirou said, pointing to the headboard where one end of a pair of cuffs was locked.
"YOU DIRTY BITCH-" Y/n started laughing.
"Oh shut up, he looked fuckin good today and I couldn't wait until everyone left tomorrow." Mina laughed with her, taking the keys from her and unlocking the cuffs from the bed.
Mina crouched down under next to the bed, pulling out a big black box.
"You're fuckin kidding me." Jirou said.
"No way!" Ochako leaned forward to see what was in the box.
"Oh my god youre all children!" Mina yelled, opening the box of sex toys and putting the toy, cuffs, and keys back where they belong.
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The unusually high amount of commotion coming from the room where the girls were got all of the guys' attention.
"Theyre loud tonight." Kirishima said, starting the obvious.
"Thanks captain obvious." Bakugou scoffed.
"Shut up!" Kirishima said, throwing a pillow at Bakugous head.
"I wonder what the commotion is." Sero said, thinking out loud.
"Wanna find out?" Denki asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
"What, just go in and ask why theyre being loud? Thats rude." Todoroki inquired.
"No, you simple minded man. We eavesdrop!" Denki exclaimed as if it were obvious.
"No! We cant- thats invading their privacy!" Deku's face reddened.
"You're such a pussy." Bakugou said to the green haired boy, throwing the pillow at him instead of back at Kiri.
"C'monnnn they HAVE to be talking about something good- we never know what they do in there!" Denki said, thinking of his deepest fantasies.
"Oh god- what are you thinking about in that tiny brain?" Sero asked, tapping Denki's forehead.
"C'mon! I'm going- it's gotta be interesting." Denki said, walking towards the room.
The remaining boys sat in silence until Sero stood and followed Denki. "He has a point- they could be talking shit."
"It could be something embarrassing and funny! I could always use more ammo against Mina. C'mon." Kirishima said, Standing, dragging Bakugou with him.
The remaining boys followed, not wanting to be left out, Deku muttering to himself about privacy.
Leaned up against the door, Denki signaled the guys to be silent.
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"NO WHAT IS THAT ONE-" Y/n yelled, lunging forward to the box, reaching in. She and Mina were always closer than the rest of the girls, so this was nothing out of the ordinary. They invaded each others personal space and belongings on the daily.
She pulled out an O gag, holding it up in awe.
"It's to keep my mouth open." Mina explained simply with a small smirk.
"Oh my god." Y/n felt like she discovered the secrets of the world in this box. "What about this?" She asked, the rest of the girls gathering around, Momo suddenly more awake than ever.
"That one-" Mina took the toy from Y/n. "-is a vibrating butt plug."
"Holy shit." Y/n sat back on her butt, wanting to learn what everything was.
"Is that a fucking whip?" Momo asked.
"Sure is- I like that shit." Mina said plainly, holding the small whip in her hand.
"Like...being hit is a turn on for you?" Ochako asked, sitting next to Y/n.
"Only with consent and in a certain setting. Its just harder spanking." Mina explained.
"Spanking?" Y/n asked.
"Yeah- the basics. Spanking, hair pulling-" Mina started.
"Have you never done that stuff, Y/n?" Jirou asked.
"No. I mean nobody has ever like...Its always been quick hook ups ya know?" Y/n explained.
"I havent either... I'm too nervous." Ochako admitted.
"Oh my god! Ladies! You should experience your fantasies! You deserve it!" Mina exclaimed.
"You really should be able to, but with someone you trust." Asui added.
"I dont know if Izuku would be into it...I'd love for him to pull my hair sometimes though..." Ochako blushed.
"Never know till you ask!" Mina said.
"God- I want to know what it all feels like. I need to get laid." Y/n sighed.
"Aw baby! What are your fantasies? We can find ya someone!" Mina offered, sitting with the rest of the girls.
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"Damn Kirishima!" Denki whisper yelled to the blushing red head.
"Didn't know you two got down like that man." Sero whispered. "Props."
"What does- Ochako wants me to- what!?" Deku whisper yelled.
Bakugou didn't respond. He was too tuned into the girls' conversation, wanting to hear with his crush would say about her fantasies. He had been pining over Y/n for years from a distance, admiring her courage, her humor, her talent, and her ass- sorry boobs- sorry hips- sorry intelligence.
"Shut up, you idiots." He finally whispered, making the boys lean back in to the door.
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"Well, I mean hair pulling and spanking is a given- but like. I want the whole uh- calling someone daddy. Being called names maybe? I dont know, I've seen some stuff in porn too- like being bent over a counter? Or do shit in public even? God that sounds weird when I say it out loud-" Y/n said, shaking her head, trying to laugh it off.
"It isnt weird!" Asui reassured her.
"Babe, you just saw my gags, cuffs, and dildos. You're not weird." Mina giggled.
"Oh the gags too!" Ochako piped in. "I love that idea."
"I wanna be gagged with fingers not a ball." Y/n admitted.
"Oh my god- you would love being face fucked." Jirou chuckled.
"Face fucked?" Y/n asked.
"Like when a guy pretty much uses your mouth to get off." Mina explained.
"Oh... yeah... thats-" Y/n blushed and laughed, the entire group of girls laughing.
"You're a subby bitch, huh?" Mina asked.
"Guess so!" Y/n replied, laughing further.
"You need to be tied up and fucked-" Mina started, Y/n stopping her by yelling.
"STOPPP Oh my god SHUT UP." Y/n was red and warm.
"Who would it be?" Ochako asked.
"What?" Y/n replied.
"Who do you want to fuck you?" Jirou asked, catching on.
"Oh my god yeah!" Asui leaned in.
"Who who who!" Mina shook the girl's shoulders.
"IM NOT GONNA JUST SAY IT WHEN HES LITERALLY IN THE SAME APARTMENT-" Y/n admitted, shaking Mina shoulders as well.
"ITS ONE OF THE GUYS?!"
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"Oh fuck." Denki muttered.
Bakugou's face was red and he was thinking about all of the things he wanted to do to the seemingly innocent girl on the other side of the door.
"I bet its Sero." Denki whispered.
"Nah, I'm betting Todoroki." Sero replied.
"Totally not me." Todoroki whispered.
"Shut. Up." Bakugou seethed.
The guys all shut their mouths, realizing Bakugou wanted his name to come out of her mouth.
"Oh shit-" Denki started.
"Dont." Kirishima warned.
Denki chuckled and leaned back in to the door.
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"No- I'm not saying. It would NEVER happen anyways." Y/n said, blushing and looking to the floor.
"Is it Todoroki?!" Ochako asked.
"No its totally Sero." Jirou said.
"No no no it HAS to be Denki-" Momo started, the girls all debating with each other, except for Y/n and Mina.
"Oh my god." Mina said quietly, realization hitting her. "OH my GOD." She said again, louder, making everyone silently look at her.
"It's fucking Bakugou." Mina said, sure that she was right.
"No way." Asui said, convinced otherwise.
"Its absolutely Bakugou isn't it?" Mina asked her best friend with a smirk.
"FUCK OFF- oh my god- its not like- he wouldnt even- he wouldnt look in my direction- its not a big deal!" Y/n stuttered around her words, hating that she was found out.
"HOLY SHIT." Jirou yelled in shock.
"You really must want degradation." Momo chuckled.
"Shut up- he's literally the hottest guy I've ever met." Y/n stated, crossing her arms.
"OH MY GOD!" Ochako squealed.
"No- like- and his voice?! God, call me princess and choke me OUT." Y/n said, full thirst mode activated.
"THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER." Mina yelped.
"No because like- I want Todoroki to ruin me." Momo admitted, taking the pressure off of Y/n.
"Seriously- I want Denki to live his nasty fantasies out with me." Jirou said, joining in.
"Sero could bound me up any day." Asui added.
"I need Izu to be mean to me so bad." Ochako groaned.
"Kirishima is so fucking good- guys. Last night, he ate my ass and I couldve died happy right there."
"The way I need Bakugou to touch me literally all over- his hands are so hot." Y/n continued.
"OH dont even get me started on hands." Ochoko laughed.
"Get Bakugou to like.. hang out with you. One on one." Jirou suggested.
"No no no, I've come to terms with that never happening, He would never go for me- I'm sure he barely knows I exist." Y/n said, waving her hands in front of her.
"That's so not true- youre so hot!" Mina said, smacking her hands down.
"If he doesn't want you, hes insane." Jirou added.
"Gah- whatever. It's not like its gonna happen tonight or whatever- just. Can we drop it?" Y/n asked, feeling the insecurities creeping in.
"Yeah- no problem babes. Oh! Wanna watch New Girl?" Ochako suggested.
"Yes!" Asui, Mina, and Momo said in unison.
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"Momo... wants me to ruin her? What's that even mean?" Todoroki wondered out loud as the guys walked back out to the living room.
"I can pull Ochakos hair lightly. And be like moderately mean-" Deku thought out loud as well.
"Shut up- JIROU WANTS ME!" Denki jumped around the living room.
"And Asui wants me!!" Sero joined the blonde in jumping around.
"Dude..." Kirishima sat down next to a blushing Bakugou.
"What, shitty hair?"
"You're into Y/n arent you?" He asked, making the remaiining guys stop and look at them.
"No!" Bakugou got even redder.
"Oh my god. And she wants your fingers down her throat!" Denki celebrated.
"Shut up!" Bakugou said, putting a pillow over his lap.
"Make a move!" Sero said, patting his friends shoulder.
"I know I'm gonna make a move on Jirou tomorrow-" Denki said, settling down.
"I'm going to ask Momo out." Todoroki confirmed with himself.
"Can we just- turn something on." Bakugou said, throwing the remote at Deku, making him come back to earth.
"O-oh yeah. Sorry Kacchan."
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Y/n woke up around 3 am, the need to pee stronger than any thought in her mind. Getting up, she stepped over her friends on the floor, all asleep.
Meanwhile, Bakugou was awake getting water from the kitchen, noting mentally that all of the guys were passed out.
Hearing light footsteps, he turned his head to see Y/ns figure walking to the bathroom, light turning on as she disappeared into the bathroom, shutting the door.
His hands shook a little as he remembered all the things she said about him that night, the blood rushing to his dick.
"Tch." He scoffed, trying to shake the thoughts from his head as he heard the toilet flush.
She... wanted to fuck him, right?
So why not... now?
His mind raced as his feet took him closer to the bathroom door, brain full of images of what she might look like naked, what sounds she might make.
He stood in front of the door, hearing the sink turn off. He could turn around right now. But what if she noticed him walking away?
His thoughts were stopped by the door opening, his eyes greeted by the sight of Y/n in a long t-shirt looking startled by his presence.
He pushed her back into the bathroom, covering her mouth to make sure nobody woke up.
Shutting the door behind them, he pushed Y/n against the wall opposite the door, looking into her eyes.
"B-Bakugou. What are you doing?" She whisper-yelled, catching her breath from being scared.
"We- I heard you." He said, staring at the most perfect lips he'd seen.
"Heard me? Heard me wh- no. Nonononono." She whispered, panicking, hiding her face in her hands.
"Shhhh." He shushed her, moving her hands from her face, holding them. "Were you telling the truth, princess?" He asked, whispering, breath ghosting her face.
"Y-yeah. I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable-" She was interrupted by lips against hers.
His kiss was harsh and urgent, yet it made Y/n's panties soaked.
Y/n felt her hands get pressed against the wall above her, whimpering into Bakugou's mouth at feeling of the cold wall.
Pulling away, he attached his lips to her neck, nipping lightly.
"You never had someone take care 'a ya right, princess?" He asked between nips.
"N-no, just quickies." She admitted, biting back moans.
"Let me take care 'a ya. I'll let ya live out those fantasies" Bakugou demanded, earning a whimper and a nod from Y/n.
Letting go of her hands, Bakugou was pleased to see she kept them up. Obedient, he thought.
He lifted her shirt up and off of her body, revealing her tits. Groaning, he dove into the mounds in front of him, sucking both nipples individually, making her moan.
"Shit, baby. Been hidin these from me?" He asked.
"Ba-bakugou~" She moaned out.
"Katsuki. Call me Katsuki." He demanded, dropping to his knees.
"Katsuki-" She moaned out as he rid her of her panties, spreading her legs, admiring her glistening cunt.
"Damn. You are gorgeous." He praised, fingers starting to toy with her lips.
"Oh my god."
"You really thought I didn't know you existed, princess?" He asked, looking up at her and maintaining eye contact.
"Yeah- you never talk to me-" She muttered, trying to grind her hips against his hand, being stopped by his left hand holding her hips against the tile wall.
"Doesn't mean I havent fucked my fist thinkin about the noises you might make. I watch you- I see how fuckin smart and skilled you are. Not to mention sexy as hell." He admitted, touching Y/n's clit lightly, watching her squirm and gasp.
"P-please, Katsuki." She whined.
"What, princess? Tell me what ya need." He teased her clit more, her hips jerking against his left hand in response.
"Touch me-"
"Touch me what?" He asked, chuckling.
Not knowing what he wanted her to say more, Y/n decided to loop two words into the sentence.
"Please touch me daddy."
With that, Bakugou was holding her hip up with his left hand still, lifting her leg over his shoulder to give him easier access to her wet pussy. He licked a stripe up the center, tasting her slowly. Her hands flew to his hair to stabilize herself.
"Shit, daddy!" She whispered, head pushed against the tile wall as she started to grind her core against his face.
Pushing a finger in, Bakugou felt her pulling his hair lightly, making him moan into her.
"M-moreee." Y/n moaned, feeling her climax already creeping up on her. He added another finger, giving her what she needed.
"Gimme it- cum for me princess- oh fuck-" He went her faster, feeling her walls clench around his fingers. Licking her cum from her pussy, Bakugou was in absolute heaven.
"Pleasepleaseplease-" She whined, feeling him pull away from her and move her foot back to the floor, standing up.
He kissed her, making her taste her own essence, both moaning into the kiss.
"You need to be quiet, princess. Gonna wake everyone up." He whispered into her ear, moving her body to be in front of the counter and mirror. He turned her around, letting her watch the way he played with her nipples for a moment before he couldn't take it anymore.
Taking his shirt off and pushing his pants down, Bakugou knew he needed to be inside of her.
He pushed her shoulders lightly, making her bend over.
"Aint this what you wanted? Hmm? To be bent over a counter and fucked?" He asked, rubbing his dick along her center.
"Y-yes. Need it so bad." She whimpered.
"Your wish is my command." He stated, pushing his cock into her pussy slowly.
She moaned quietly as he bottomed out inside of her, his balls resting against her pussy.
"M-move. Please daddy move- fuck me- god-" She blabbered, hands gripping the marble counter.
Without a word, Bakugou pulled her hair lightly, making her watch them both in the mirror as he began fucking her.
Thrust after thrust, she got louder and louder.
He pulled her hair harder, making her arch up into his chest.
Putting his fingers in her mouth, he whispered in her ear. "Guess ill have to shove my fuckin fingers down your throat to keep ya quiet, hah?"
She gagged as he pushed his fingers further, moaning lightly as her eyes rolled back.
"Gonna cum again, princess? Aw, thats it, cum for daddy." He teased, whispering becoming more horse as he felt his own climax nearing.
"Shit baby- gonna cum- can I- in ya?" He grunted out, feeling her walls tighten around his dick as she drooled around his fingers, letting it drip down his hand. She nodded the best she could as she came, legs twitching, screams of pleasure caught in her throat.
He painted her walls with his cum, grunting with each weak thrust.
As the two came down from their highs, he pulled out, turning and lifting her to sit on the counter, making a mess.
He watched as she leaned her head against the mirror, catching her breath and gripping the counter still as after shock like waves of pleasure ripped through her weakly.
He grabbed a wash cloth from the closet, knowing where everything is as he helped Mina and Kirishima move in and unpack a few months ago.
Wetting it, Bakugou checked on Y/n, seeing that her eyes were shut and her body was calming.
He cleaned Y/n up, starting with her thighs and center, moving down her legs. He got a separate wash cloth to wet with cold water and set on her forehead.
Putting his own underwear and sweat pants on, he gathered her shirt and panties, handing them to her as she came back to planet earth and gave him the cold wash cloth.
"Thank you, Bakugou." She muttered, smiling as she got dressed.
"Hey, I told ya. Katsuki." He reminded her, tilting her chin up and giving her a kiss. This kiss was much softer in comparison to the one earlier.
Pulling away, she blushed.
"Thank you, Katsuki."
"Thank you, Y/n. Hope we can uh- ya know. Do it again?" He asked, not sure how to go about this.
"Absolutely. And maybe I can even hold your hand now and then." She giggled.
"Maybe I'll take ya on a date then, how's that sound princess?" He asked, unsure of where the confidence came from.
"Perfect." She smiled, kissing him one last time before they walked out of the bathroom. "Sleep well, Katsuki."
"You too, princess."
Walking back into the bedroom and laying next to Mina, Y/n was spooked by Mina asking "What the hell took so long? I got cold."
"Oh uh- just had too pee."
"That was a long pee." Mina said, cuddling up to Y/n's side.
"Yeah- Bakugou needed some help." She suggested, hinting a little.
"You fucked Bakugou in my bathroom, didn't you?" Mina asked, yawning.
"Nahhh. He fucked me." The two laughed lightly, falling back asleep.
2K notes · View notes
wouldpollyapprove · 4 years
Text
Her Father’s Daughter
Request: Could u do tommy shelby and his daughter (possibly around 4-5 years old) with the fluff print list 2 “You’re the best thing I never knew I needed.” if that makes sense idk i just want some dad tommy fluff
i was wondering if u could write a singe dad tommy shelby 🥺🥺 like at he start of season one and she’s 5, base it off the first episode? sorry if it’s too accurate it came to me in a dream and i’m sure as hell not talented enough to write it🤣 love ur work !!
I have a request for Tommy Shelby! He gets really over protective with his daughter! ❤️
Requested by Anonymous, Anonymous, & Anonymous!
Thomas Shelby x Daughter! Reader
Word Count: 1.3k
Warnings: Language, mention of drugs & alcohol
A/n: The amount of requests I got asking for Tommy as a father is amazing. I love the idea of this man with kids, he’d be so gentle and caring. Let’s be honest, though, I would rather be nice to children than I would adults. Adults can be assholes. I hope you guys enjoy this because I loved writing it.
Masterlist
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The world was forever changed after the chaos that was the Great War. Men came back in casts, bandages, and body bags. Some never returned home, stuck in the trenches of war that other’s were lucky enough to escape. There was not one person that returned home the same. All were just as messed up in the head as the next. The Shelby brothers weren’t exempt from that.
Tommy was, by far, the brother most affected by the war. His boyish smiles all but disappeared, only given to one special person. He kept to himself, spending most of his time at home, and when he had to go out, it was with his family. Tommy no longer pretended to be a simple man. That wasn’t him anymore. He had done violent, bloody deeds during the service of his country and he wouldn’t hide that. That was the man he was now: violent. 
But that wasn’t what his daughter saw.
Only five when he returned, she didn’t see a broken man. She saw her playmate, her knight in shining armor, her father. Y/n knew nothing of what he had seen, the horrors of modern war, only that he was home once more. 
“Where are we going?” She grasped onto her father’s hand, eyes jumping between the different people in the street. 
Tommy couldn’t help but smile at her behavior. Everything caught her eye. He knew she would be too smart for her own good when she was older. “We-” Tommy slowed his pace and scooped her into his arms, deciding it easiest to carry her the rest of the way. His legs were too long for her tiny ones to keep up. “-are going to a family meeting.”
“Oh,” she drawled, playing with the collar of his jacket. “Is Aunt Polly gonna be there?” Eyes wide in excitement, she waited with a smile for his answer. 
Her father nodded, earning an eruption of giggles from his daughter. 
It was moments like these that he cherished the most. Polly had told him, with his work schedule, it was best to let her or Ada take care of her while he was away, but Tommy just couldn’t have that. Y/n’s mother, who he’d made the mistake of marrying, had fucked off when she realized she didn’t want to be tied down. Leaving her baby girl and husband in Birmingham, she fled to Rome with a painter and made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with them. Of course, Y/n was too small to understand that, the love that her mother didn’t hold for her, but Tommy would never make her feel unloved. And so, there was never once that he wished to pawn his daughter off onto other people. She was his responsibility and she would accompany him everywhere he went.
The solution was a win-win for both of them. Tommy was able to keep a watchful eye on his daughter and take care of her every need, while Y/n was able to experience new things and spend time with her dad. Both were extremely happy with the setup.
Within minutes, the pair were upon Polly’s house, squeals of excitement came from his daughter’s lips when he opened the door. Warm air and cigarette smoke wafted around him as Tommy dropped Y/n into a chair at the kitchen table, Polly across from her.
“Look at my lovely girl,” Polly cooed and extended a hand to stroke the coils in her hair. “I see someone has learned a thing or two from their sister.” She raised a brow at her nephew.
Placing a tray of biscuits on the table for Y/n to snack on, Tommy shrugged. “Ada said it was hard, real easy for me.”
His aunt nodded, her lips turned up in a smile as she watched the little girl in front of her. Polly was far from pleased when Y/n’s mother left, reminded her too much of her bastard brother. While her nephews were off at war, she took Y/n in and raised her while her father was away. Once Tommy returned, though, that all changed. No matter her protests, Tommy would hear none of it when she offered to help him with his daughter. His little girl was the only good thing in his life and he wasn’t going to pawn her off onto other people like she was a burden. 
Knowing her nephew, Polly knew there was no arguing with Tommy and just let him do as he pleased. As long as Y/n and Tommy were happy and healthy, she had no reason to worry.
“What did you want to talk about?” she asked, peering up at Tommy from where he was leaning against the counter. 
“About horses!” Y/n shouted while searching for the perfect biscuit to eat. “Lots and lots of horses!” In recent months, it wasn’t hard for the family to see how much she resembled her father in every way. His love for horses, strong as an ox before the war, had soon become her’s and she wasn’t shy about it.
“Horses?” she raised a brow. “What about horses, Thomas?”
“The races, pol. The races.”
“And how are we gonna do that?” She all about shouted, keeping her voice down once she remembered there was a child in the room. 
Tommy waved away her question, instead turning his attention to his daughter. Kneeling down to her level, he brushed a loose curl out of her face and tucked it behind her hair. “Have you ever made biscuits with aunt Pol?”
Y/n nodded, licking the sugar off her sticky fingers. Once finished with the task at hand, she said, “We made ‘em for Christmas.”
It was his turn to nod, an idea sparking to life. “Aunt Polly makes the best biscuits.”
“Don’t change the subject.” His aunt glared at him. “We don’t have the money to even touch the races.”
“We’ll get the fuckin’ money,” he mumbled, standing straight once again.
“Thomas!”
Unphased by his words, she’d heard worse at home, Y/n laid her head against the table. Perhaps it was the fact that she’d stuffed her face full of sugar or that she didn’t want to sleep the night before, but exhaustion hit her like a freight train. 
“Poor dear,” Polly’s attention quickly shifted from Tommy to his daughter. “Oh, she’s already asleep.” She motioned to the closed eyes and even breathes.
Tommy should have known she wouldn’t make it halfway through the day. She played rough and that’s what she had done before they’d left to visit Polly. It didn’t help that she refused to go to bed the night before. Though she could manage off a few hours’ sleep for a while, her father was like a dead man walking when he’d first woken up.
  “Put her on the sofa and then we’ll finish discussing your outrageous idea.”
Doing as he was told, Tommy gently picked the sleeping child up, doing his best not to wake her and anger his aunt. Careful not to brush the doorway, he walked through the house and into the parlor, stopping in front of the sofa. With one hand he moved a pillow to one side to support her head and then guided her to the soft cushions. Y/n grabbed the pillow out of habit as her father draped a quilt over her. Hopefully, she would be able to get some sleep. If her uncles’ burst threw the door, Tommy wasn’t sure much would keep him from killing them.
Before leaving her to nap, Tommy brushed the hair out of her face, placing a kiss on her temple, he muttered, “You’re the best thing I never knew I needed.” 
And, indeed, she was. Without that little girl in his life, Tommy would be another one of the war’s lost boys, walking down a road with no hope, no light at the end. Like so many, he would know nothing but the dark nature of the bottom of a bottle and a pile of cocaine. Without Y/n he would be a dead man walking and he couldn’t thank her enough for all that she’d done for him, whether she knew it or not.
*~~*~~*
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619 notes · View notes
offtopicoverload · 3 years
Text
Get Lucky
so i totally forgot about this request from @renluthor for like. two months, terribly sorry, but i finally finished it lmao. bit different than what we had discussed, but i had a lot of fun with it and think it turned out decent enough, hope you enjoy it also idk how to tag on ao3, i hope this works fine
M Rating (still suck at rating, there's drinking and kissing so)
Zoey x MC (Bea)
~1700 words (still pretty short since i cant seem to get my word count up rn but im also not that fussed)
Read on Ao3
-
Bea Hughes stands in the middle of Belvoire’s quad on her first day at the school, staring down a snarling beast, some bitch named Poppy that’s really starting to get on her nerves. “You know what, Poppy?” she snarks, “I’m really going to enjoy tearing you down. Something tells me nobody likes you half as much as you like yourself.” She pauses, glancing around before her gaze lands on some frat bro, “Michael, how often does Poppy call you an idiot?”
He frowns, face downcast, “Every day. My therapist says it isn’t good to surround myself with people who bring me down, but my parents are friends with Poppy’s and -”
“Oh my god, nobody asked to be invited to your pity party, Michael!” Poppy shouts, effectively cutting him off with a stamp of her foot.
Bea’s scowl grows, “You know what nobody asked to be invited to? Poppy’s Daily Bitch-Fest. Death by migraine would be more pleasant.”
“Oh, you haven’t even seen Poppy’s Daily Bitch-Fest,” her eyes narrow at Bea dangerously, “But if you’d like a demonstration, by all means, be my guest of -”
“Hey Bea! Look at the time, we gotta go!” Someone takes hold of Bea’s wrist, tugging her along and away from the crowd, from Michael, and from Poppy and her glare. She’s pulled into a sprint across the lawn, running wildly until they’re inside a dorm and standing before some door.
“Wish the circumstances were different, but welcome to the Winfrey dorm complex, aka your new home!” The girl lets Bea’s wrist drop back to her side, gesturing widely with one hand as she fumbles to unlock the door with the other.
She finally succeeds, throwing the door open and ushering Bea inside, the door slamming shut behind them. Bea’s eyes immediately rove over the expensive decor and nice furniture of the huge dorm she’s somehow stumbled upon.
The girl collapses on a couch, kicking her feet up as she looks over to Bea, “So, you got out of that one alive. Barely,” she adds under her breath. “How are you feeling?”
Bea follows suit, slumping down on the opposite side, toying with the hem of her shirt distractedly. “Honestly, you’re gorgeous,” she shrugs, watching the fabric slide between her fingertips. She freezes, slowly glancing to Zoey, “...is what I was thinking, but did I just say it out loud?”
A laugh bursts from Zoey, her head falling back, “You did, and you’re absolutely, positively right. Not to mention easy on the eyes yourself,” she grins, winking at Bea, before sticking her hand out. “I’m Zoey Wade, your roomie,” she shakes Bea’s hand when their palms meet, “This right here is our dorm. Your room’s on the left, mine’s on the right.”
“Okay,” Bea responds abruptly, sinking into the cushions and crossing her arms beneath her chest. “Okay,” she repeats.
Zoey glances over to her, “Are you okay?”
Bea’s eyes flicker to her dark ones, “Yes. Yes, because I got lucky on the roommate front,” she smiles, albeit somewhat forced.
“That you did,” Zoey smiles right back. “In fact, I know the perfect place to get you off campus until the hype dies down.” she jumps to her feet, crossing to the front door before Bea can even react.
She scrambles to her feet, nearly tripping on the corner of the coffee table, “Wait!” Zoey spins as she swings the door open, winking before disappearing down the corner, Bea nearly sprinting to catch up.
---
An hour later, Bea and Zoey are sitting in a dim corner of a Soho speakeasy, soft music and conversation buzzing in the background. Half-drunk Manhattans sit before them, their own voices adding to the soft din of chatter flowing in the space.
“How’d you find this place?” Bea inquires curiously, her eyes scanning the building and its patrons. It’s cozy and warm, the inviting atmosphere a sharp contrast to Belvoire’s intimidating one.
“Connections,” Zoey’s shoulders rise in a nonchalant shrug, unbothered as she scrolls her phone.
“Whose?”
Zoey looks up from her phone, gaze meeting Bea’s as she smirks, “Can’t spill all my secrets on the first day, babe.”
“Why not?” Bea challenges, one eyebrow quirked.
Zoey’s phone is set face down on the table as she looks at Bea mysteriously, smiling secretively, “As sweet as you are, I always need a few cards up my sleeve.”
“How many you got?”
“I’ll never tell,” she winks, in what Bea is quickly learning to be her default.
“I thought the whole point of coming here was to learn more about each other, roomie,” Bea counters pointedly.
Zoey shakes her head, leaning back against the booth, “The point of coming here is avoiding the campus harpy that goes by the name of Poppy.”
“So you don’t want to get to know me? Or let me get to know you?”
“Maybe if you’re lucky I’ll tell you something.”
Bea just her bottom lip out in a pout, her eyes wide and innocent as she blinks up at Zoey. She only smiles coyly in return, drinking her cocktail as Bea deflates, sighing and slumping backwards.
“You are so lucky you’re cute,” Zoey hums from the back of her throat.
Bea grins before schooling her expression into something flirtatious, “I’m hoping I’ll get luckier.”
Zoey laughs at that, just as loud and unrestrained as back in their dorm, “Nice try. At least buy me a drink first.”
“I’ll buy you the whole bar, how about that?”
“I’ll take another Manhattan for now,” Zoey laughs, sinking back into the booth as Bea jumps up, weaving through the speakeasy’s crowd to get back to the bar.
She returns a few minutes later, wiggling the drinks in her hands enticingly with a wide grin on her lips. She slides back into her seat, sipping her own bright coloured cocktail as she looks to Zoey.
“So what made you want to come to Belvoire? Long way from home, right?” Zoey plays with her drink, scraping a cherry off a toothpick with her front teeth.
Bea shrugs, “It’s a good school, and I thought it’d be fun to try something new… But now I’m mixed up in petty drama,” a sigh shifts her shoulders, Zoey stilling her absentminded fidgeting.
“Petty drama, maybe, but you’re making a name for yourself,” she nudges Bea with her elbow. “That’s more than a lot of people can say.”
“So you don’t think I’m totally screwed?”
“Hmm,” one carefully manicured nail taps Zoey’s chin. “I give it ten to one odds,” she finally decides, smiling sweetly across the table.
Bea frowns, a dent forming between her brows as the girl across from her’s smile grows in amusement, “Those aren’t good odds.”
“But there’s still a chance. Look, I know I don’t know you very well, but you seem like the type to pull it off.”
“Seems like you’re just trying to flatter me.”
“And what if I was?”
“I guess I’d wonder if there was a reason for it.”
“Can’t a cute girl be reason enough?”
Bea lets her gaze rake over Zoey suggestively, “I suppose so.”
“See? You’re smart, you’ll be fine,” she encourages. “Probably.”
“Ugh,” with a groan, Bea’s head falls forward, forehead crashing against the table.
“Nope, nope, nope,” Zoey chastises above her, “No moping.”
Bea turns, her cheek pressing into the wood, “What else am I supposed to do?”
“You’re going to dance,” Zoey announces, standing with her palms flat on the tabletop. She cocks her head at Bea expectantly, sauntering out to the dancefloor when Bea takes the hint, popping up and chasing behind her.
The dance floor's more crowded than anywhere else, couples and friend groups moving in unison to the beat thundering through the air. Zoey whirls around, dancing to the peppy song currently playing until Bea’s joined her, swinging her hips and throwing her arms about carelessly.
The song’s change, the crowd moves as one, and the pair spin and jump and whirl, Zoey taking Bea’s hands and twirling her until she’s laughing and dizzy. Time ticks past until they’re both breathless and sweaty, leaning against one another for support.
“You’re a pretty good dancer,” Zoey chuckles, her breath brushing Bea’s cheek, goosebumps breaking across her skin.
A grin breaks Bea’s lips too, relaxed and somewhat tired, “Right back atcha.”
Zoey throws her arm over Bea’s shoulders, fingers knitting behind her neck as she looks down at the shorter girl, her messy hair and gleaming eyes, her smudged lipstick and shining teeth. One hand retracts, the pad of her thumb swiping lightly beneath Bea’s lips, cleaning up the mess on her skin.
Bea’s breath hitches, her eyes widening in the dim lighting of the speakeasy, glued to Zoey’s dark ones as they shift over parted lips. “Hey, Bea?” she whispers, thumb still ghosting over Bea’s skin.
“Yeah?” she whispers back, the exhale skimming Zoey’s skin now.
“Are you still trying to get lucky?”
“God yes,” she groans.
Zoey bends down, letting her lips softly graze Bea’s, just barely making contact. Smudged lips chase hers, Zoey smiling before Bea’s palms are on her cheeks, tugging her downwards, her own thumbs brushing along high cheekbones.
Zoey’s hands find her hips, pulling her closer until they’re bodies fit together, only heat between them under the lights. Zoey nips at Bea’s bottom lip, the shorter girl gasping against her lips, Zoey’s tongue slipping past them.
Time ticks past, the mass of people surrounding them lost in a haze, heat the only thing discernible. The break apart after a short moment, unconsciously swaying to the music together, getting caught up in the rhythm, sucked into the thudding bass.
“We should probably head back to campus,” Zoey murmurs after another song fades out.
Bea’s head lolls to the taller girl’s shoulder, a groan spilling from her throat, “Mm, do we have to?”
A familiar chuckle explodes from Zoey’s chest, “Yeah, maybe you’ll find a four-leaf clover along the way. Get even luckier.”
Bea pulls back, her eyes eager as they meet Zoey’s and the remaining laughter in them. “Okay, let’s go!” she grabs Zoey’s hand on her hip, tugging her through the crowd and out the door, pulling her along this time. Her laughter rings behind Bea as she barrels down the street, New York’s lights illuminating her way.
35 notes · View notes
1kook · 5 years
Text
distractions
jeon jungkook x (f) reader
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summary: “Soft.” / “No shit,” you say, “you’re deep between my boobs.” tags: gamer kook, soft bf jeon, extensive knowledge of the MCU (Mario Cinematic Universe) warnings: nsfw; mostly tit play, dry humping, slight praise, jizzing in ur pants like ur fifteen again wc: 3k barely 
when u have 34827 other fics to finish but ur brain hyper focuses on this image at 1 in the morning. not proofread bc idk ppl 
ty for all the nice comments on skirt chasers btw<333
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There were a lot of things about Jungkook that you didn’t learn until you were official. Like the fact he rarely matches his socks unless they’re cool socks. Or that he prefers his pancakes pre-drizzled with syrup. Not necessarily bad things, just aspects the general public wouldn’t normally see. In fact, the worst “trait” you’ve learned about Jungkook in the past year is how easily distracted he can get. Nothing crazy, just tiny actions, like forgetting to eat for three hours because he refuses to leave his Wii until he can beat the guys in three rounds of Super Smash Bros. Ultimate in the Mushroom Kingdom stage. Strangely specific, but it’s Jungkook and you’ve long since learned he’s an enigma.
Times like now, when you creep up behind him as he continues screeching into his headset, voice cracking every now and then in that adorable way it does when he’s overwhelmed. You are no stranger to Jungkook’s apartment, having visited more times than you can count, and even dropping by and doing a little dusting while he was on tour. However, you’re surprised you can see the back of his coconut hair from the low backing of his new computer chair. He’d told you he recently threw away his big leather, super villain gaming chair because it’d started to tear, but it was a fact you hadn’t really paid much attention to.
Now, however, you’re feeling a little happy he did, because it means you can slide your palms around his shoulders in somewhat of a back hug. It’s way better than having to walk all the way in front of him, and you bite down on a grin when he mutters the softest “hi, baby.”
“Which stage are we battling on today?” You murmur, pinching the tip of his mic to twist it away. Faintly, you can hear Taehyung’s voice shout a greeting your way.
Another button smash of his remote, hands enveloping the tiny device. “Wii Fit Studio with Wario,” he replies, eyes flickering across the screen like his life depends on it. You snort.
“I thought you hated Wario,” you point out, and move with him when he jumps after being shot off the screen.
He looks at you for the first time as he waits for his character to respawn. “Changed my mind. He’s just misunderstood. Listen to my theory, babe,” he starts, and you let go of him because you have the back of a ninety year old war veteran and can only hunch over for so long. You take up a very bodyguard-esque position behind him, watching him play and gently pressing your thumbs into his shoulders. “Imagine this. You’re a kid trying to have fun and this other kid who looks exactly like you but better is somehow also cooler than you.”
You hum, letting go of his shoulders to toy with his hair. You pull it into a makeshift ponytail and giggle, not that Jungkook minds, too immersed in his game and his sudden loving Wario speech to care. “Then, you get older and this same dude is still getting all the credit for being exactly like you. On top of that, his little brother is doing the same to your little brother! I’d be so pissed.”
You let his hair drop, and then quickly brush the strands away from his face when he whines. “Uh huh. But theoretically speaking, aren’t you the Mario of your little universe?” Jungkook is silent. “If we’re going by your little story, I hardly doubt there’s another Jeon doing better than you,” you point out.
Jungkook’s Wario gets blown off the screen for the last time, and he’s left blankly staring at the screen. You poke his neck. “I don’t wish to discuss this further,” he says rather matter of factly. You laugh, shaking him and his seat. “Baby, why would you say that!” He cries.
You smile, flicking the switch on his headset before pushing it off his head. Jungkook moans again, head lolling back to glare up at you. “I finally come to terms with the fact that Mario is the true asshole, just to find out I’m Mario? Fucking absurd.”
You roll your eyes at his dramatics, fingers dancing down the stretched column of his neck. “Listen, no one told you to go out and create an entire deep backstory for the Mario Cinematic Universe.”
He scoffs, eyes fluttering shut as he continues basking in your soft caresses. “The MCU,” he chuckles under his breath. On screen, Taehyung is still fighting with whoever else they were playing with tonight, a little Isabelle and Dark Samus dancing across the screen.
Meanwhile, you’re still absentmindedly running your fingertips along Jungkook’s skin. For a second, you think he’s asleep by the deepening of his breaths, his body so soft and relaxed beneath your touch, but then he gets one of those weird twitches of his, and pushes his head between your breasts.
“Ah,” he sighs, eyes still shut. “Soft.”
“No shit,” you say, “you’re deep between my boobs.”
The little shit snuggles closer at your words. “My favorite place in the world,” he croons, and you pinch his neck for his stupidity. “Tell me when they’re done,” he mumbles, sounding as if he’s actually gonna fall asleep.
You relent, continuing your gentle massaging of the muscles in his neck as you tune into the match on screen. You’re not exactly sure which one Taehyung is, but your gut tells you he’s probably playing as Isabelle, so you root for her. You’re weirdly into it, jumping every time a good spar happens.
By the time the match ends (literally only like 4 minutes later) and you check on your boyfriend, he’s snuggled his way between the valley of your breasts, his cute nose poking out from between. “Oh my god,” you sigh, having to take a momentary pause to collect yourself from the sight.
Jungkook giggles.
“Well. Taehyung’s done,” you inform him, and he hums though he doesn’t really seem to care about Smash anymore. His hands go slack around his remote, crawling up to dwarf yours.
He sighs, sounding so happy with himself. “Baby, you’re so soft,” he hums, and you try desperately, and you mean desperately, to ignore the sudden drop of his voice, his hands ever so gently tangling with yours.
You try to hit him with the facts, because you know where this will go if you don’t. “Well, breasts are made up of mostly fatty tissue, and lobes for producing milk,” you inform him.
Contrary to your goal, the handsome smile that envelopes his face has you fighting down the curl in your stomach. You can never win.
“You know I love when you talk anatomical to me,” he purrs, and it takes everything in you to not punch him straight in those pearly whites.
You don’t have enough time to respond, too caught up in a mental pep talk to re-evaluate what your body considered attractive. Jungkook’s corny jokes should definitely not be high on the list, but your rock hard nipples said otherwise. “So, you gonna let me suck on them or what?”
“I hate you,” you groan, reaching over to completely unplug Jungkook’s headset because you were absolutely terrified of creating an accidental porno with your celebrity boyfriend.
Jungkook chuckles. “No you don’t,” he teased, finally wiggling his way away from you to whirl his seat around. “Could feel your nip nops pressing into my forehead. No bra today? She’s bold.”
“She’s bold and embarrassed that her boyfriend calls them nip nops,” you sigh, climbing into his lap. His remote presses hard against your thigh, and you yelp before he tugs it out and throws it on the desk behind him. Vaguely, you register the screen lighting up behind Jungkook, but then he’s nudging your shirt upwards.
He’s barely brushed his hands against you, but you’re already shivering and squirming in his lap. “Relax for me, baby,” he assures you, a new depth slowly creeping around his words. “Gonna take care of you, alright?”
You nod, breath already caught in your throat just from the way he looks at you. He flashes you another smile, bunny teeth slightly pressed against his lower lip, before he’s pushing your shirt above your chest, and marveling at your boobs.
You don’t miss the way his gaze becomes glossy, eyes hyper focused on the rise and fall of your chest. Just as you’re about to urge him to do something, he’s reaching up to brush his thumb around your nipple. “Oh,” you blurt out, the skin around your nipple rising with goosebumps.
Jungkook lets out a soft huff of air at your reaction. “So sensitive. Bet I could make you come just by touching your tits, baby.”
You scoff, choking back another sound when he does the same to the other nipple. “I wanna say I doubt it, but I feel like you’ll prove me wrong,” you retort.
At this, Jungkook smirks. “Oh, so now it’s an expectation?” He smiles, and it’s the last angelic side of him you see before he’s ducking down and latching his supple lips around your breast.
Immediately, your back arches forward, hands scrambling to grip onto his shoulders as he licks across your breast. “J-Jeon, wait—“ you cry, body shaking at the way his tongue dances around your nipple.
Your hands tangle themselves in his hair, tugging and twisting it as he flicks his tongue back and forth, knocking it against the hard pebble. You moan, and almost choke when he pulls away with a lewd pop.
His lips are glossy from his own saliva, red from the friction. He’s looking at your glistening breast like a starved man, thumb returning to glide over his own messy artwork. “So pretty,” he hums, Puckering his lips to blow a soft tuft of air against it. You shiver. “Aren’t you the softest little thing,” he says, one hand falling to your waist and gently easing you closer to his crotch. His sweatpants do nothing to conceal how he’s feeling.
You hate to admit how your insides had turned into a Fruit Gusher the second he started sucking on your boob, and now that you think of, you'd be absolutely embarrassed if you did come from just this.
As if sensing your inner turmoil, Jungkook meets your gaze. “I fucking knew it,” he says, slightly out of breath. You furrow your eyebrows, to which he pointedly raises his and gestures to his crotch. “You started pressing down so hard on me the second I got my mouth on you,” he brags, and as if to punctuate his statement, grinds his hips upward into you. “Did sucking your titty make you that wet, doll?”
Your cheeks flush at his words. Belatedly, you nod, your eyes falling to his lips that quirk up into a smile. “Oh, you’re just so desperate to be touched, aren’t you?” He continues, and then reaches up to pinch your nipple between two rough fingers.
You gasp, body arching into him. The pain is new, but definitely welcomed. “Yes,” you cry out, hand reaching out to grapple around his wrist. Though you try to tug it away, it feels disgustingly good and you know he knows, which is why he gives it a slight tug.
Finally, when he lets go of you, he doesn’t hesitate to lower himself down by your other, ignored breast. “I wanna see you cream your shorts, okay? So I’m gonna suck your other titty until you’re near tears, baby,” he states, before giving you a soft push of his hips.
“Please, be gentle,” you choke out, words stuck the moment he wraps his lips around you. This time, he’s ruthless with his tongue. He traces it all over, tonguing your nipple like a lollipop. It feels nice, the wet caress, that you don’t see that bite coming at all. You moan, body unconsciously pushing away from him in surprise.
“Nuh uh,” Jungkook tuts, strong arms wrapping around your lower back to bring you back into his embraces. This closer position has your core pressing down directly over his dick, and the sudden double stimulation has your vision momentarily going white. “Gonna give you a pretty little bite right under your tit, doll,” he announces, and in a scary act of trust, presses his fingers into your spine until you’re staring at the ceiling, the only thing supporting you his strong arms. He nudged your breast with his nose until he finds the perfect spot to place his impromptu hickey.
It’s right against the bottom curve, where your skin folds over, that he settles on. “Need you to to sit nice and still for me. You can do that, right baby?” Jungkook says, big doe eyes looking up at you. You nod your head quickly.
His teeth are cold, unlike the rest of his mouth. “Jungkook!” You moan, toes curling and thighs attempting to clamp shit. They hit the outside of the chair instead, slightly squeezing around his thin waist. “You’re s-so good to me,” you wail, pushing down into his covered cock for friction.
As much as you wanted to act like this wouldn’t affect you, your body is no liar. Fingers tangled in his long curls, you find yourself gently rutting against him. Much to your surprise, this makes him break away, a thin bridge of saliva connecting his mouth to your chest. You mourn when it finally breaks.
“Told you to stay still, doll,” Jungkook warns, one set of long fingers sprawling on the small of your back as the other reaches up. “You had all the time in the world to work yourself on me, but you wanna choose now?” He gently reprimands you, twisting your nipple between two pinched fingers. You mewl. “Promise you’ll be good?”
“I can’t,” you whine, desperation seeping into your voice as your traitorous hips jolt forward again. You nearly fall onto him when a particular nudge of his cock over your core feels just right. “Want your cock so bad,” you wail, throwing all hesitation out the window as you begin full on humping yourself against his crotch.
Jungkook sighs, trying to act annoyed with you but the twitch of his cock beneath you cannot lie. “Well I’m not done having fun with you,” he says, though the way his words are tinged with complaints, you can tell he’s trying hard not to pout. Nonetheless, he latches his mouth around your breast again, and you nearly faint when he rolls your nipple between his teeth.
“Jeon,” you cry, looking down with probably the world’s worst quadruple chin only to catch him absolutely savoring your titty. He’s got his eyes closed, pink tongue licking across every inch he can get. His arms are wrapped around the smallest part of your waist like he can’t possibly fathom letting you go. When he moans, a whole new found wetness coats your walls. You choke on a sob, “I-I love you, Jungkook.”
You can feel a smirk pressed around your breast. It’s this moment when Jungkook finally gives up on his little quest to tame you, hips bucking up to meet your offbeat grinds against him. He pulls off your breast with another wet pop, though he’s slightly lower than you from how consumed he was when sucking you tits. He has to make a little effort to stretch his neck up to look at you, and even then it’s over the top of his nose that he gazes at you.
His lips pucker slightly, and the next time you grind down onto him has them brushing against your lower lip. “That’s it,” he croons, admiring the different expressions that contort your face as you become closer and closer to your orgasm. “Come all over your pretty panties for me, baby,” he encourages, sucking your lower lip between his.
His mouth had been so dangerous to you today, licking and sucking in all the right spots, but nothing has ever felt as right as having it on yours. “I-I’m sorry,” you whimper, fingers knitting themselves in his hair.
“Don’t be,” he comforts, gripping your hips and swiveling you in a circular motion. “Next time you’ll do better, won’t you?”
You nod, head bouncing like a bobble head. He smiles, pressing a soft kiss to the corner of your mouth. Your thighs twitch. “I was gone for so long,” he rambles, hips picking up their pace the second he hears your breath hitch in your throat. “Didn’t think you’d become so sensitive and needy.”
A faint smile passes through your lips, and your toes curl and your belly tightens in that delicious way it does right before orgasm. Another grind against Jungkook, and he sighs “I love you,” as you cream your pants like a dweeby high schooler being touched for the first time.
Jungkook’s gentle movements halt the moment he sees that orgasmic face overtake you, pressing soft smooches all over the bottom half of your face, peppering your lips with them, until your fingers finally loosen in his hair.
“Fuck, I’m embarrassed,” you huff out, feeling gross and sticky in all the worst spots. Jungkook chuckles, and you can still feel his hard cock nudging the insides of your thighs.
“Nah,” he says. “It’ll make it easier for me to slide in.”
Even in your post orgasmic state, his words have a brand new coil of heat revving up. God, you were whipped for him. “Bed?” You ask, and he nods as you clamber off his lap, tugging down your shirt.
Immediately, he whirls around and catches sight of his abandon Smash game. “Huh.” He says, and you already feel the distraction staple itself into his mind. “Have you ever noticed how Dark Pit—“
You cut him off, gliding your hands around his neck and slowly craning it back until you can give him a tiny Spider-Man kiss. “If you make me cum a second time I promise I’ll listen to whatever theory you have about him,” you purr, punctuating your words with a tiny smooch.
The screen is off in record time.
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ijustwant2write · 4 years
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First and Last-Robb Stark x Reader
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(GIF credit to @hvitstark)
Tags: @amirahiddleston @bloodorangemoonlight
Requested by anonymous: 'hi! first of all, your stories are amazing and i love them so so much! now, i hope im not bothering you, idk if you're still taking requests or not, but if you are can you pls write something where the reader is the youngest daughter of a powerful lord and he has come to winterfell to discuss marrying her to robb? this can either be pre-canon (so robert hasn't come north yet) or in some sort of au where nothing happens and all the starks are alive and well :) thank you so much!'
Characters: Robb Stark x Reader
Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name
(Y/L/N)=Your last name
Warnings: Mention of smut, self doubt, arranged marriage, fluff
(A/N: I MISS WRITING FOR GAME OF THRONES, MY BABIES)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
There was a buzz around Winterfell castle as the final touches to preparations were made. The (Y/L/N) family were as noble as the Starks, and as it was their first visit to Winterfell, there had to be a good lasting impression. Catelyn and Ned were overseeing the servant's, trusting that their children's nannies or advisors were making sure that they were ready for such guests, they were not to make a fool of the family.
"I've heard that the women are all trained to be warriors since birth." Theon told Robb as he was being dressed in his finest clothes.
"From who?" Robb asked, raising an eyebrow at his friend.
"Wouldn't that be something? No wimpy, defenceless woman that constantly seeks your help, or spoils fun things such as hunting."
Robb knew his friend had only heard such rumours, though was still intrigued."She is a lady, I doubt she would have been near any fighting."
"Their women are strong Robb, proper Northern lasses. They are interesting, not like some of the ones who have visited before."
"They were boring to you because you couldn't even lay a finger on them."
He chuckled."In them more like."
Robb ignored Theon, he had always been so vile when talking of women."I wonder what they're here for. Father hasn't mentioned anything, I don't think he knows either."
"You can't be serious?" Theon scoffed. He gestured for the servant dressing Robb to leave now that he was finished."Come on, think about it."
"Just tell me."
"They've got a daughter, a year younger than you. Now, what do you think that means?"
Robb's eyes widened."No, no, father would have told me about it first-"
"Technically, nothing has been said about any marriage. Maybe that's what Lord (Y/L/N) is here for, not just for a friendly visit. And your father might not know about it yet."
Panic set into Robb's mind. His father had warned him that marriage propositions would be made, especially since he wasn't betrothed to anyone from a younger age. However, it was a small thought to him, most of his teachings had been about how to be a good lord. But having to face it was a completely different feeling. Perhaps Theon was wrong, his father hadn't even hinted at the idea. Now nervous, he took his cloak, wrapping it around himself before leaving his room, and maybe even meeting his future bride.
The pair made their way to the courtyard, hearing that the (Y/L/N) family were to be arriving very shortly. Robb's palms were beginning to sweat in his gloves, the mere thought of marriage making him dizzy. As he stood with his siblings, he ignored the fussing his mother made over them, making sure they were presentable.
(Y/N) made sure her hair was still neat and her braids were still tight in her hand mirror, damning the bumpy road beneath their carriage. It didn't help that her hands were shaking too, though she only noticed this when her mother took the mirror away, replacing it with her own hand.
"Relax (Y/N)," her mother calmed her, giving her a gentle smile,"we will be right beside you."
"He's not going to like me."
"And why's that?"
"He's probably heard all the rumours about how our women are these amazing fighters that aren't afraid of anything, and I'm the absolute opposite."
"For starters, we do not have all these women that go into fighting for the sake of it, you know that. And he doesn't know that your father is proposing this agreement."
"Have you met him?"
"No darling."
"So you don't even know what he looks like, let alone if he is kind?"
"The Starks are a wise, merciful and kind family. I am sure that his parents have raised him well. Their people seem to love them."
(Y/N) went to ask her mother another question, but was interrupted by the shouting of guards. They had arrived. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as the carriage slowed down, willing it to keep moving just a fraction longer. When it stopped, she hid her panic well from her mother, though a mother's instinct could always sense when her child was scared.
Lord (Y/L/N) had been riding up front for the last few miles, and was announced first as he dismounted his horse. He smiled as he approached Nedd, firmly shaking his hand.
"Lord Stark, it has been many years since I last saw you." he started.
"Yes," Nedd began,"in fact, Robb has only just been born."
(Y/N) heard his name, her heart beat thumping in her ears.
"Well, there are a lot of greetings to be made. My wife," (Y/N)'s mother was assisted out of the carriage, and (Y/N) heard her meeting the family,"and my daughter, (Y/N)."
As she emerged from the carriage, she hadn't expected how silent it would be. Everyone was watching her. (Y/N) carefully stepped out of the carriage, gripping onto the foot man's hand. She joined her parents, curtsying to the Starks.
"Thank you for opening your homes to us, it is a pleasure to finally meet you."
"And you Lady (Y/N). I am sure you have inherited your mother's beauty, and your father's wisdom." Nedd could see the young girl's hands were clasped together, stopping them from shaking.
"Not sure how much of that is left." her father joked, relieving the tension.
"Let me introduce you to my family," Nedd walked down the line, each curtsying or bowing,"my wife, Catelyn, who you already know, my eldest Robb, Sansa, Ayra, Bran and Rickon."
It was all too surreal for (Y/N). Here she was, facing the man that could become her husband and he had no idea. She tried to look at him, take in his details without staring, meaning she couldn't do it for long. Robb was also looking at her, dreading when her father would make the suggestion. Something deep in his gut told him that Theon was telling the truth, that perhaps a proposal was on the cards.
"He doesn't need to show me around Winterfell!" (Y/N) protested as she got settled into her room.
Her father sighed."(Y/N), I don't have to do this, but I am giving you a chance to get to know the boy. I could easily just throw the suggestion in their face."
"I know but...father I have a bad feeling about this."
He stopped her pacing, holding onto her hands."You will be fine. You're smart, so you know how to strike up a conversation. You're just nervous."
"Yes, I am. Father, you wouldn't make me marry someone who...someone who would hurt me, would you?"
"Of course not! If I believed the Starks were bad people, then we wouldn't be here. But this family is one of the strongest there are, and believe me, I've never seen a more honest family. You are safe here, and you will be loved."
(Y/N) walked out of her room feeling no less scared. She knew Robb would be going through the same struggle, though it didn't help her. Her footsteps were slow, too slow, her body knowing that she didn't want to go. Robb was exactly the same on the other side of his home, arguing with his mother before she forced him to leave his room and meet the girl, even if they weren't going to be married; in future, she may be a close ally. They were now stood at either end of the same corridor, freezing at the thought of having to be by each others sides for the rest of their lives.
Readjusting their postures, they composed themselves before approaching each other. This was it, the first time they would be alone together, perhaps the conversation that would define their relationship.
"Lady (Y/L/N), have you settled in well?" Robb asked.
"Yes, thank you Lord Stark. Your home is very beautiful."
"Please, my father is Lord Stark. You may call me Robb."
"And you may call me (Y/N)."
A good start, though many people dropped formalities when they weren't the people in charge. Robb offered to take her around Winterfell, which she politely accepted, racking her brain to think of topics to speak about. The small talk continued, until Robb started getting bolder with his questions.
"I've heard that your armies are full of women, that they are trained to fight since birth."
'Of course this question came up' (Y/N) thought.
"We do have a number of women. It is an extremely old tradition. Our lands did not have as many people as they do now, so when enemies would strike, everyone had to fight. And as the ears have gone on, we've kept that tradition alive, though there aren't as many women as there used to be."
"Are you trained in any weaponry?"
(Y/N)'s voice dropped."No. Ladies aren't allowed to."
"Oh." she hated the look on Robb's face, his expectations being dissapointed."That's understandable. Though my youngest sister, Arya, she does not abide by those rules."
"She doesn't?"
"No." he chuckled."A needle is far too small a sword for her liking."
They stopped walking, looking over the wall of Winterfell. (Y/N) was used to similar views back home, it wasn't too different. The noise of the people distracted her, and she turned around, watching them go about their lives. These were the faces she would be seeing almost everyday, if Robb and Nedd agreed to their marriage. And with dinner approaching faster than she liked, the answer was looming closer and closer.
After their walk, Robb had escorted (Y/N) back to her room to change for the meal that night. In his own room, Theon was there once again, prodding at Robb, wanting to know everything and more.
"So, what do you think?" Theon asked.
"I still don't know her very well. I can't make a judgement on her yet."
"OK, then what about how she looks?"
"She is a beautiful woman, but that doesn't mean I'll immediately like her."
Theon raised an eyebrow."But it helps."
Robb nodded."I guess so."
(Y/N) praised her handmaid as she finished her hair, calming slightly once she was satisfied with how she looked. Her mother entered the room, sighing as she saw her daughter fretting. The handmaid was dismissed, making (Y/N) realise that her mother was there, impulsively running to her; they shared a tight embrace, (Y/N)'s hands shaking as she clutched on.
"I don't think I can do it." (Y/N) breathed out.
"Yes you can. This is part of being a woman. You can do this, and we have chosen a family that will love you, they'll keep you safe."
"Mother, he doesn't like me, I just know it."
"He will. Everyone likes you."
Her mother knew that there were no amount of words that would ease her panic. All she could do was wipe away her tears, take her hand and lead her to the hall where dinner was being set. (Y/N) was stronger than she thought, and very likeable; she would fit into Winterfell just fine. It was Robb that was unpredictable.
"Father," Robb made a beeline to Nedd in the hall, desperate to speak to him alone,"may I quickly speak with you?"
"I know what you're thinking about." Nedd suddenly turned around.
"Well?"
"Well, we don't actually know if Lord (Y/L/N) wants an arranged marriage-"
"And if he does?"
"If he does, I shall speak to you in private, as will he with (Y/N). I presume that she doesn't know anything of it. Robb, I'll want to accept, but I need to be sure that you will too."
Everyone could feel the tension as they sat for dinner, Robb and (Y/N) having to sit beside each other. Their parents were in full conversations, the Stark siblings bickering already, whereas Robb and (Y/N) found themselves unable to start one themselves.
"Now," (Y/N)'s father stood, raising his cup,"I want to make a toast."
Everyone raised their own cups, knowing what his speech would include. They had been waiting all day to know what he wanted.
"Thank you once again for letting us into your home, it has been many years since my wife and I last visited, and actually, we were expecting (Y/N) at that time. But Winterfell has not lost its charm. We have been each others banner men throughout this time, and have fought beside each other in victory. I trust that our alliance is strong, but I am willing to make it stronger."
(Y/N)'s head started to spin, her chest tightening. She couldn't even look at her father. The words started to muffle, she couldn't be here to witness it. Without thinking of her manners, she mumbled under her breath, excusing herself as she abruptly stood and ran out of the room. She had no idea of the layout of the castle, running aimlessly, as if she could get away from this problem.
"(Y/N), are you alright?" She heard Robb call her.
She stopped, hiding her face in her hands, pure embarrassment stricken across it."I'm sorry, it's just..."
"I understand, it's a scary proposition."
"Yes, but I've known for so long."
"What?"
Her hands flopped down to her sides, using what bravery she had to face him."My father has been wanting this for so long. He loves your family, and not just for your power."
"There's something more to this."
"There's been another lord trying to marry me, but my father doesn't want me to marry. He told him we were already engaged. He showed up only last week. Robb, I would have told you if I thought I could."
"I understand."
"It's not fair that we've known for so long. My father can be a little dramatic at times."
"It's fine my lady, really."
"I know you need to discuss the answer with your father."
"You speak as if you know what that is."
"After today I think I do."
"And why is that?"
"I'm not what you think I am. I'm probably the most boring women in my land, and I'm supposed to be the one leading them."
"Is this about the army of women?"
"You would be surprised how many men don't like me after hearing that."
"I'm not one of those men."
"You're not?"
"I mean, we know this decision is ultimately up to our fathers."
"I suppose so."
"(Y/N), I can't judge your personality or even your own judgement, since we've only known each other for one day. But seeing as we know what our future entails, I feel that we should be open to get to know each other."
"Thank you Robb, I would very much like that."
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The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 14: No Call No Show
Characters: Shane Benton (OFC), various other original supporting/secondary characters
Summary: We find out where Shane went Monday after work and exactly why she hasn’t been responding to any attempts at communication…and unfortunately, she’s not just taking some “me time.”
Want to reminisce about when this was just a happy little fluffy romance? Return to chapters past, or look at my other smutty drabbles here!
Word Count: 3.6k
Warnings:  SHANE FIGHTS BACK, BUT DEFINITELY GETS HER ASS KICKED, SO FAIR WARNING, IT’S VIOLENT. Language, mature themes, emotional abuse, mention of narcotics (morphine), vomiting, foreshadowing and mention of potential future violent/non-con/dub-con activities, but if those acts occur, they will not be portrayed on the page, but rather between chapter or section breaks, so don’t worry. Also, I use the “R” word, but not to discuss non-con, but rather to add an educational note about why one should yell “fire” when one is being assaulted. Basically no Sy material whatsoever, but he’s mentioned, so I’m tagging it as such! Shane being somewhat blasé about her mortality. I really don’t want to trigger anyone, so please read with caution or wait until you emotionally are ready to deal with our girl going through the shit.
Author’s Note: Really REALLY nervous about this one. This is not the resolution you are looking for, my friends. In fact, it’s not a resolution, at all. Lol. I foresee many people disliking this chapter for some reason or another. That’s actually okay. It’s not a chapter you’re meant to “like” per se. I don’t “like” it. I’m prepared for it to get very few notes, and I’m positioning it anyway. I think it’s some of my better writing, but I hated putting Shane through the ringer like this. It’s just one of those chapters you “get through.” And honestly, if you truly didn’t like it please give me feedback so I can improve and tweak. {For reasons other than “My beebeeeeee!” or “never mention anything less than consensual ever again kthxbye” because a) of all, MY beebee too, and b) of all, that’s what warnings are for and why they should be read.} That being said, I hope it at least tides you over until the next chapter. At least you know where she is…not that THAT’S a big relief under the circumstances! Lol!
Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.
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Hope I’m not forgetting anyone! If you want to be notified when I post a new chapter or work, I’ll be happy to add you to my tag list! Stricken blogs are getting personal messages from me when a new chapter is uploaded because Tumblr’s faulty tagging system will not stand in the way of me delivering what the people want!(?) lol! (Although…their lackadaisical notification system might…sorry for that. I have no control. lol!)
X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@X@
Previously, in Virginia…
"Shane left work Monday and hasn't been back since. No one has seen her. Apart from you, I presume. "
"I haven't seen her in about a week and a half. I'm training out of state for a job. I've been away from my phone since Monday, and I just got back to it now."
"She isn't…with you? I assumed…"
"Well, you know what they say, Susan. I'm coming back early if I can manage it. See if I can do something to help find her."
Three days earlier, in Missouri…
Shane blinked her eyes open to little avail. She couldn't tell where she was, other than what seemed to be the back seat of a fairly new-model large vehicle, like a Suburban or a Tahoe. She thought it was new because the new car smell was still overpowering the nicotine and tobacco odor of at least one of its occupants. She could also smell the sickly sweet stench of artificial cherry permeating the cabin. The source must be very close to her nose as she lay there helplessly restrained while the vehicle jostled down the road. The smell reminded her of the horrible liquid pain reliever her mother would give her as a child when she had a fever or leg pains. She had taken enough of it then to make her averse to most cherry flavorings as an adult. She wanted to retch.
She could also make out the faint glow of a dashboard lit with LED lights, brighter and softer than those of older models. But she soon had to shut her eyes again. Her head was throbbing and her memories were fuzzy. She remembered very little of Monday…was it still Monday? But she was trying to think, despite the pounding of many drums in her cranium where a brain should be.
She remembered staying at work late to finish notes. She remembered heading home…and she remembered forgetting her phone at her desk and deciding to turn around to get it…when suddenly she was surrounded by vehicles and unable to move without having an accident. Had she known the circumstances then, she would have tried to muscle through. The horrific events came flooding back in traumatic flashes like lightning, or the pulse of passing streetlights in an unfamiliar city.
She remembered…
The glass by her left ear shattered. A hooded, hulking figure reached in through the new opening, fumbling for the handle to open the door. She'd had the presence of mind to fight back there. To punch at the probing extremity. But the extremity hit back, landing a solid smack against her left cheek, stunning her for long enough that the cruel apparition found the unlock button, pressed it, and opened the door. She didn't go quietly. She fought like the hellcat her mother always told her to be. Her foot found the odd solar plexus and groin before enough dark nemeses arrived to overpower her. They dragged her away from her car and out onto the pavement of the church parking lot she'd used to turn around. She did not make it easy for them. She kicked and punched and tried to twist out of their grips like vices. She yelled "fire" as she was taught as a young woman, not knowing the men's intentions, but certain they weren't kind, and knowing that yelling "rape" was not always effective at summoning help. Either way, it didn't matter. She could have shouted anything. No one was near enough, or cared enough, to come to her aid. As soon as her soft hands hit the gritty pavement, though, the violence intensified. She lost count of how many times she got kicked in the back, stomach, ribs. One asshole even kicked her in the tit. She'd find out who that was and he'd find himself in a special brand of pain…if she ever got out of this alive. She heard them calling her awful names that she was sure she hadn't earned, and especially not from these guys. About six of them, she thought. She hardly knew six guys. She certainly didn't know six guys that would want her roughed up like this. She heard one of the men start to say "Come on, guys, we better save some for--" and with that, she blacked out to the tune of the distinct "thunk" of a wooden baseball bat making contact with the back of her head.
She wanted to forget…for it to be a terrible nightmare…to wake up.
But she was awake. This was a waking nightmare. The cold leather on her cheek was made colder by the harsh air conditioning blowing toward her from above and below. She shivered from the chill and from the terror she was trying to suppress. Where were they taking her? For what purpose? And for whom were they leaving parts un-bruised…though it didn't feel like it.
She finally felt them slowing, heard a turn signal clicking, the courtesy of which she applauded despite her position in the active abduction taking place, and felt the gentle displacement of her body toward the driver side, knocking her head into the door. A right turn. Not that it would matter too much, but at least when she escaped, and she made herself think "when" and not "if," she would know which direction to turn to get back to town.
The blow to the head had left her sensitive to light and sound. As she was yanked from the back seat, all she could see was the glow of a dusk to dawn light above them. Normally a soft, guiding light, this one just as well have been the sun itself the way it stung her tender eyes. She squinted against it, thankful as she never would have thought to be, when a shroud was placed over her throbbing head. She could still hear the power coursing through the bulb and fixture, though. Normally a dull hum, in the state she was in, it was as loud as accidentally switching your TV to the snow channel at full volume.
"Bring 'er inside." She heard an unfamiliar male voice say.
Two strong, ruthless hands grabbed her by the armpits, causing her to cry out in pain. Such a tender place to bear weight, and why even big strong Sy hated crutches…Sy. Would she ever see him again?
"Shut up, bitch, or we'll knock you out again." She believed them, and being fairly certain she had at least a mild  concussion, she wasn't sure what a second blow of an indeterminate velocity might do to her brain. She dealt with the stabbing pain as the men dragged her across what sounded like gravel, then grass, then something hard and smooth, maybe the slabs of an old, sunken, and somewhat uneven footpath. Soon, she felt the pain of her knees hitting what she assumed were porch steps. One, two, three of them. She was trying to concentrate through the fog now setting in, and maintain consciousness. Paying attention to the sensations, she told herself, was not only helpful for that task, it might help her escape. Remember the scents, too, she reminded herself. She tried to shake off the nauseating cherry and cigarette stench from her olfactory glands and take note of the bouquet around her.
Burnt leaves…gasoline…engine grease…the tang of sappy, just cut firewood…straw…manure…this seemed to be a farm. With a barn nearby…perhaps with horses. She loved horses. If she could find a gentle horse in the night…escape might be easier than she'd anticipated.
Entering the house was a noisy affair. There was a metallic keening from the spring of an aluminum screen door. She imagined it had one of those big swirly cross beams like her grandma's used to have that she always though was supposed to resemble a butterfly. A heavier, wooden door creaked open as the three figures muddled their way in, and the floorboards protested, as well, at the weight of her captors. So, she thought, not only a farm house, but an old farm house.
"Where do you want her?" the man on her left asked into what she only knew as the void, so far.
"Take her to the cellar. I've got things set up down there." a familiar voice chuckled and growled. How did she know the voice? Was he a patient? She couldn't think of anyone she'd treated that would want her abducted and brutalized.
"You got it, E." Ugh, for some reason it bothered her when guys referred to each other by their first initials. Girls, no big deal. But bros…there was something so thoroughly douchey and…familiar about it all…
"Hold on." the man called "E" said, and she heard footfalls approaching her. As he got closer, she smelled…patchouli and incense…and the sea…and it brought back a rush of pain from past trauma followed by literal pain from his punch to her gut. She hadn't been expecting it. Obviously. The wind had been taken out of her. Literally and figuratively. She did know this man…all too well.
"We've got some catching up to do, sweetheart." the pet name dripped like venomous honey from the tongue of the snake before her.
"Elliot." it wasn't a question. She coughed the name out like a pill that had gone down sideways.
Her escorts continued their transportation of her prone body to its destination…she didn't want to think FINAL destination, but the more she learned about her situation, the more she worried that she wouldn't make it out alive.
They had to get creative in carrying her down the narrow staircase to the cellar. They argued for a moment about who would take the top half and who would go backwards.
"How about the one who takes my top half goes forward and the bottom half goes backward?" These idiots. Where did Elliott find clowns like this who needed to be told by their prisoner the best way to sort out their domestic dispute.
She thought she felt them shrug, and silently take her advice as she felt herself being lowered down the stairs, feet first, panic threatening to overtake her restrained limbs.
When they got to the bottom of the stairs, they stood her up to remove her shroud, and cut the zip ties from around her ankles and wrists. She then noticed a small cell that reminded her of the ones in the sheriff's offices in some westerns she'd seen. She started to freak out, anticipating her future in that horrid place.
"Guys, please. No. Please don't do this. I don't know what Elliott's told you about me, but I'm a good person. I don't deserve this. I have a job and friends and a family who will worry sick about me. I am begging you to let me go. Please!"
"You're wasting your breath, lady." one of the men said, gruffly.
"PLEASE!" she appealed, desperate to get through. "Don't you guys have wives or girlfriends? Mothers, sisters, aunts, or female cousins? What if a woman you cared about was in this situ---" and before she could finish the question, one of the men punched her for what felt like the thousandth time tonight. She fell to her knees, vomiting. And the world went black again.
~~~~~~~
There were no windows. There was no clock. There was just a small twin mattress in one corner of the cell, and a bedside commode in the other. As accommodations went, it was hardly a Hilton, but it could have been worse. It was all lit by a 60-watt bulb in one of those hanging fixtures her dad had always called a trouble light situated on a hook on the side of one of the exposed joists outside the cell. He'd had a similar one for the longest time. He and mom will be worried sick before long, if they aren't already, she thought. The light was aptly named for these circumstances she was in. Trouble. A heap of it. And no idea of how to get out of it.
And honestly, no idea why Elliott would want her here. How he could do such a monstrous thing as having her kidnapped. How he came to live in this place when he never worked a day in his life. She was so confused. She hoped at the very least, he'd give her answers before he murdered her, if that was his plan.
She had woken up on her side, almost her stomach, with her right cheek on the scratchy surface of the bare mattress. Whoever put her to bed had been wise to position her like this given the likelihood that she might puke again. She noticed a small bucket, presumably for that purpose, next to the mattress. There was a caseless pillow next to her head, but she hadn't found that comfort during her nap of…she couldn't tell how long. Not that it mattered. The more she slept, the less time she'd have to process this horror movie she was currently living out.
She heard the door open at the top of the stairs and Elliott shout at one of his flunkies, "What do you MEAN you didn't get her phone?" a pause while indistinct words came from said flunky across the room, or maybe the house. "Well, find it. Tear that piece of shit Explorer apart if you have to. I want that phone." She took exception to her sweet little Norah getting called a piece of shit. That was her Millennium Falcon. And yes, she'd gotten flack for naming her Norah the Explorer, but she didn't care.
Elliott stomped down the stairs, grinning the most infuriatingly happy grin she'd ever seen on him. She wanted to maul him. To tear those stupid eyes out of their sockets with her own fingernails. But she controlled her anger and resisted even acknowledging his greeting of "Hey, sweetheart."
She ignored him.
"It's good to see you."
Silence.
"I missed you."
She stared right through him.
"I heard you and that meat head soldier broke up."
She scowled at him.
"There she is. There's my girl."
"I'm not your girl, Elliott, and I haven't been in years. Why am I here?" She broke. She couldn't take it.
"We'll get to that why soon enough. First, let's talk about why you and Cap'n Crunch are no longer breakfasting together? Soggy cereal? Limp toast? Was he letting you leave the table unsatisfied?"
"As if you ever satisfied me when we were together." She spat back, calling Elliott out on his notorious selfishness in all aspects of life and relationships.
"I've changed."
"Bullshit." she rolled her eyes.
"It's true!" he insisted. "I can give you references."
"I honestly don't give a shit. We're not together. Sy and I are. Happily. And you better let me go soon. He was expecting me at his place after work. He's probably out looking for me right now." she lied. It was worth a shot.
"Now it's my turn to call bullshit, because I know that isn't true." He looked at her with that patronizing stare he had.
"You don't know shit, Elliott."
"I know that your boy took off over a week ago for Virginia and hasn't come back, at least not the way he left. I believe he's supposed to be gone at least a few weeks. Maybe a couple of months. He wasn't sure at last report."
She was literally willing him to burst into flames before her. Her gaze revealed her hand.
"Told ya. You think you're the only one with connections at the fort? I've got me a sweet little sergeant who works in ATC over there. She can out-squat anyone else on base…and let me tell you, it shows." he lifted his eyebrow, lasciviously.
"You disgust me."
"Why? You never seemed to mind my…sexy imagination." he winked at her.
"No, I'm happy that you're getting it good on the regular from an ass that won't quit. But come on. You clearly only got with this girl because you thought it would give you the upper hand against me."
"Well, that's very self-absorbed thinking."
"Really, Elliott? Do you see where we are right now?" they looked around at the dank cellar and he shrugged, unable to deny or rebut. "And this woman. Does she know about this little scheme?"
He gave her one of his more evil grins. "Who do you think kicked you in the tit?" Okay…she was new levels of pissed off now.
"Why…the actual FUCK am I here, Elliott!?"
"Well, Shane, you embarrassed me with that little stunt at the bar a few weeks ago. You thought you were hot shit, parading your sasquatch of a boyfriend around in front of me, in my town, humiliating me as all of my friends watched. And then that dickhead sucker punched me in the parking lot. I shoulda pressed charges. But him being a veteran, I knew how that woulda gone in this town. I didn't have a snowball's chance. So I waited. And I planned. And I was patient. And I watched for my moment. And it finally came. I've been watching you leave work every night for the past week, and you're always with someone, or headed somewhere else, or going straight home. Last night…last night I knew was the night when you didn't leave until after 7. You were the last one out, and I knew that it had to be then. The plan, not that you need to know, is to plaster your social media with humiliating photos, piss off everyone that you love, including your precious Sy, and alienate everyone you've ever cared about until you're miserable and alone."
Shane was crying now. She thought she might be sick again. She reached for the bucket. The delusion of this man thinking that anyone in that bar besides maybe the ones that were there with him that night gave a shit about him. Thinking that the town was his. He was a nobody there. He hadn't grown up there, he didn't work there, he didn't participate in community events. He was kidding himself if he thought anyone cared enough about him that he should feel shame over her relationship with Sy, especially five years after their relationship with each other had ended.
"How's that for a 'why,' sweetheart?" he boasted.
"It's making my ask myself a lot of questions. Like why I ever agreed to go out with you all those years ago. Why I didn't see the signs that you were a psychopath sooner. And why I put up with your terrorism for so long thinking you'd ever really change. I can't believe I ever slept with you, you absolute barbarian." and she heaved into the bucket, non-productively. She hadn't eaten since lunch, and that had to be well over twelve hours ago.
"Well, ya did. And ya can't change the past. But I'm about to take your future into my hands. As soon as we find your phone, we're gonna have us a ball, little girl."
"You honestly think I'll cooperate with any of that?"
"You won't have a choice." he held up a little glass vial. "Morphine. A tiny dose of this stuff, and you'll do anything I tell ya."
"Please. Just let me go now, and I won't press charges. I won't go to the cops, at all. I'll call in to work with a headache, or something and you can live your life with Sergeant Squats and we can leave each other alone."
"A good offer, but I need to get something out of this. I need my pride back."
"And you're gonna get that by dragging me through the mud online from my own Facebook account? Is that really the way you wanna do this? When you could just show me what a great life you've built for yourself. This is a great place here, it seems, I mean, I only smelled it, and felt how big it was while I was getting dragged around the place. But, Elliott, if you had just told me about all this, I would have been happy for you!"
"This place is Sasha's."
"Oh." she grasped for something, anything to make him see how insane he was being without saying the words. "Well, I'd still have been happy for you finding an established woman with a great job. Why couldn't you have just written me a letter telling me that? An email! Something."
"This is how it's getting done, Shane. Because this is the only way that truly ruins your life in the process. Because at the end of all of this, the backlash is going to be too much for you, and you're not going to be able to handle this life anymore…"
"No. Elliott, no."
"Yes. You're gonna take one last hit of the morphine and drive that shitty Ford right into the lake."
"You used to care about art. About beauty. You used to be sensitive. You used to have a soul. What happened, Elliott? What happened to your humanity?" Shane asked, crying, in mourning for the man he used to be. The one that she used to care for.
"I fell in love. And she broke my heart. And nothing has been the same."
"Elliott, I didn't mean to…"
"Oh, fuck, not you, don't be stupid. No, Kara. I met her right after you kicked me out, and SHE broke my heart." he  turned and started up the stairs, pausing to look over his shoulder and say, "I'll be back when I have your phone. And I'll bring friends." before he ascended, shutting the door firmly behind him.
She had never been so relieved to NOT have her phone in her life. Hopefully, her coworkers had it safe and sound, and locked up at work.
Up Next: Chapter 15-Recon
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gilmesc1 · 4 years
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Sacrificing my remaining braincells to the void
Ok friends, you requested it, you awaited it, I’ve cleaned out my ears to remove the melted remains of my brain, here we go, we’re doing this, tell my partner I love them. It’s time...for syscourse analysis.
So this is a very bare bones run through of syscourse, it’s as basic as it gets and if need be I’ll focus on components of it after I recover.
So, syscourse is literally the words system+discourse. Bet you guys never saw that coming. 20 seconds into this fucking mess and we already have a major plot twist. And I know what you guys are thinking. A bunch of traumatized people not getting along? Another plot twist!
Jesus I better tone down the sarcasm.
Anyways, what the fuck even has to happen to have syscourse, apparently two types of systems. Yes friends, two types of systems, and I’m not talking DID and OSDD (which are really quite similar).
Our players are traumagenic systems and endogenic systems. Traumagenic systems are systems that formed out of trauma, like DID and OSDD systems. Naturally this plunks me down in the traumagenic catagory, thanks to my big fucking mess of trauma. So we got that down, moving on to endogenic.
So an endogenic system is a system that supposedly split without trauma. No idea where the word endo comes from. Or like, what the fuck endo even means as a word like trauma. (Maybe I want to endo myself after reading a bunch of syscourse? Ok, ok that was bad.)
The biggest issue once you get down to it is who is the Real System tm, and do other systems belong in each other’s tags. This is the part where I’d smoothly bring you all to a good starting point, but *insert deity here* help me, there isn’t one.
Syscourse seems to be older than mankind itself mongrels, because I cannot find where it started and who the tags belonged to first. So for those of you who like to visualize, picture two dogs chasing each other’s tails, running in a circle, and that is syscourse.
So let’s break it down more. I, and I’m sure many others, flocked to tumblr to find others who experience what I do, that being traumagenic system stuff. Again, we have trauma that results in our system’s creation. And that’s all fine and good, sure not everyone gets along with each other but for the most part all us systems are vibing and sharing memes and posts.
Now like I said, to be an endogenic system you are a system without trauma, and to me this is a little confusing. Brains aren’t made to be multiple and I’m the clusterfuck I am because of trauma, but to just magically thanos snap a system into existence? That I have a harder time wrapping my mind around.
There are a lot of examples of endo systems, but the ones I’ll be looking at today are tulpas. What is a tulpa? Well at first I thought it was a ghost thingy that you get by thinking about it, (supernatural anyone?) but now that I look into it, it’s apparently a Tibetan religious practice.
So we have science vs spirituality. This spells disaster already for syscourse.
So to get a better idea of tulpas than I could give you, I’d recommend looking at tumblr posts on tulpas because I’m in sarcasm mode and not really in a position to educate about those. Long story short it’s a thought process where you can essentially create a second being that is similar to an alter, as it exists in a headspace and can switch in.
Now I said headspace and switch in on purpose, because that is where the issue lies. Endos and traumagenics fight about words like that, and who they belonged to first. Can an endo use the words system, fronting, ect when they are scientific words specifically for DID or OSDD, or can traumagenics use the word multiplicity when it supposedly came from tulpamancy?
Side note: Guys do not lecture me on words, I’m trying to give examples, sorry but I don’t have my words for traumagenics dictionary on me rn, that’s in my other hoodie.
The majority of day to day syscourse is endos and traumagenics “infiltrating” each other’s tags and safe spaces, and ruining everyone’s day. From what I have seen, many traumagenics do not want endos to interact with them, and personally I see a few good reasons for this.
1, mental illness is not a trend and DID and OSDD are very very rough to live with. With there currently being a lack of scientific evidence on the existence of tulpas, I understand how it can seem that some are cashing in on the “DID hype” and giving off this romanticized view of being a system.
2. People with DID might be looking for specific DID info, and having to strain through irrelevant topics to them might be heavily stressful.
3. We’re traumatized and random things can set us off. This is the internet and I think everyone is at least a little toxic, and both sides have said shit to each other, but when people get triggered its easy to lose control. Not an excuse, tis merely a fact.
I’ve seen endos post things like “all systems are valid” and it’s a nice sentiment, in my heart of hearts behind my black toxic drama loving one, I’d like it if systems could just get along, but on a topic as complex as mental illness I don’t think that’ll happen.
I’ve seen both sides say things that were really uncalled for, and there’s no right or wrong answer overall in a fight like this. Naturally I’m team traumagenic but as for whether or not I feel like endos are valid or not, jury’s still out on that.
Hear me out, I have heard the theory that endo systems can help deal with trauma despite not being formed by trauma, and I’ve met a few people irl and seen things that confused me. Maybe they were traumagenic systems who didn’t know their trauma, idk.
I really don’t want drama. I’m sure systems on both sides are good people but like I said, the internet is toxic. (btw I love you mutuals, you are all good people)
In my humble opinion syscourse is stupid. I think there definitely should be a discussion about endos and traumagenics, but like can we talk like adults and not be like “WE’RE ALL VALID UWUUUU” with a string of toxicity behind it.
That level of back and forth is dizzying and irritating, and quite honestly I don’t want to deal with it. This is me trying to be neutral and give an overview, but that’s hard as I am traumagenic myself, and I don’t really understand the other side.
That’s why I’m not going to say I reject endos. I need to figure out more for myself and since this does leak into my personal life i want to do it carefully. I’m open to polite discussions, but I really want to keep out of syscourse drama.
Another side note: Something I think that is especially stupid is the amount of outrage over users saying they dni with endos. It’s a choice for that person and it should be respected. Like how I have personal reasons for keeping discussion open, others have personal reason for closing it. That should be respected and not ranted about. There are thousands of tumblrs, find one that isn’t dni and leave those people alone.
Additionally, if any endos do want to talk I’d prefer if you dm me, as I want to keep my blog traumagenic focused, both for my followers and for me, out of respect for those who don’t want any endogenic content and for me so i don’t wear out my three brain cells (I’m accepting name ideas for them)
To end this, I don’t want drama, nothing makes it easier for me to cave to my vices then drama, and syscourse is so freaking tiring that it would be like rolling around like sandpaper to get involved.
So there it is, my useless, sarcastic post on syscourse. Let’s see how many followers I lose, and if need be I can look into more stuff about syscourse since this is an overview.
Again this was supposed to be neutral and not necessarily all of my views, I’ll get more personal on it later maybe, but tbh I’m too fucking tired for that rn. Chronic illness, hell yeah.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed, I’m impressed I wrote it all, have a good day guys, I have to go to a party while feeling like my body is leading a rebellion.
I don’t even like people, why am I going XD
But hey shout out to social distancing, I’m using my personal space bubble and NO ONE can stop me.
Ok, time to give the braincells a rest. See you guys
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Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Slow Show - mia_ugly Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Erasmus/William (Warlock - Slow Show) Characters: William (Warlock - Slow Show), Erasmus (Warlock - Slow Show), Joshua (Warlock), Julia Chattox, Harry the Rabbit (Warlock) Additional Tags: fireside contemplations, introspective, gratuitous thoughts about stitching, idk what else to tag this with, Warlock (TV), mia_ugly's Slow Show Universe
It’s real angst hours in here today my friends.  Have y’all noticed that Harry the Rabbit is the same color and pattern as the tunic Erasmus wears in season 1 (but randomly changes to a green one in season 2)? Because I DID.
Here be sad about a stuffed rabbit.
mandatory @averyfell tag
Deep in the woods, under cover of the snowy pines, William and Joshua rest with Arthur near a crackling fire. The cold is seeping into their bones and the lack of food is starting to weigh heavy on William’s mind.
That, and other things.
Splitting up had been the right thing to do, but that hadn’t made it any easier.  Not for the first few days where all Joshua could do was cry for Erasmus or Julia, but mainly for Erasmus.  It’s hard for a small child to understand; sometimes hard things must be done, sometimes people have to leave for a while.
William has never been good with children, and he’d been against this decision from the get-go.  But Erasmus had the experience and Julia’s spells would be needed while they searched for the other half of the prophecy, so it fell to him to look after the child.
William loved Joshua, of course, that went without saying.  He just had no experience when it came to entertaining children; even after so long on the run with Joshua he never seemed to connect.
At least the boy had Harry.  He loved that silly little rabbit, almost as much as he loved Erasmus.
William feels a shiver run up his spine and pulls his robes tighter around himself.  They’ll need to find real shelter soon. It’s still the early days of winter, but the dark depths of it are coming at them faster than can be ignored.  He looks over at the boy, curled up and sleeping in the fur of that Godsend of a dog, clutching his little toy rabbit close.
William doesn’t often get a good look at the little thing.  It’s very nice, though, surprisingly so, a soft burgundy twill with linen for the lining in the ears.  Joshua rarely lets it out of his sight. The only times he does, he’ll take it to Erasmus and shove little ‘Harry’ towards him.  “Watch rabbit,” is all the small boy says. He never gives the toy to anyone else.
Erasmus had been the one to give it to him, showing up in camp one day with the stuffed toy.  Tossing it to the boy like it was nothing.  
When William had asked, Erasmus had said he’d stolen it from a shop in town.  The priest had wanted to berate him for it but couldn’t bring himself to when he saw how quickly Joshua was taken with it.
He is staring at Joshua and the dog now, musing his thoughts, when the boy shifts in his sleep.  The boy’s grip loosens and little Harry falls into the dirt.
William shakes his head and stoops to pick up the toy.  He pauses, turning the bunny over in his hands. It’s hard to tell in the firelight, but he could swear the deep burgundy material is diamond twill…
“Keep up, priest, come on then!” Erasmus yelled over his shoulder, “Haven’t you ever climbed a hill before?”
William didn’t know how they moved so fast.  Julia was far ahead at this point and the priest was sure carrying Joshua was the only thing slowing Erasmus down at all.  Sometimes he still had a twinge of doubt about this whole thing.
When Julia had arrived at his parish begging sanctuary, he hadn’t hesitated.  When Erasmus had, reluctantly, joined up with them, he had been apprehensive. Erasmus never truly seemed to care; more of a mercenary type.  If the conman didn’t owe them a debt of gratitude for saving him, William didn’t think he’d stick around at all. When they had come to the conclusion that the village was no longer safe for them, he’d begun to doubt.  He’d grown quite attached to the small boy, and knew this prophecy was bigger than any one of them could tackle on their own. But leaving his village, leaving home. That was difficult.
His faith was in flux.  Not his faith in the Lord, of course, that he was steadfast in.  But the Church there was the rub of it.
And he doubted himself.  Would he really be of any use?  What if it came to blows? What could a soft old priest hope to accomplish against armored inquisitorial guards?  Erasmus’ teasing only served to remind him if they were to be captured, it would ultimately be his fault.
He opened his mouth to tell Erasmus such but was stopped by a loud yelp.
Joshua had gotten fussy and decided he’d rather be with Julia, and in his attempt to clamber off Erasmus’ shoulders he’d knocked them both tumbling down the hill.  Julia saw to Joshua as William helped Erasmus to his feet.
“Are you alright, dear boy?” William asked as Erasmus grumbled.
“Damn urchin knocked me over,” Erasmus shouted, picking twigs and leaves out of his long red hair, “no bloody respect around here!”
“He’s two, what’s he supposed to know about respect?” Julia asked while seeing to Joshua’s very minor wounds.
“Well still, ought not to climb around so much.” The mercenary stalked off, shouting behind him, “Gonna get someone hurt one of these days!”
Julia shot William an exasperated look.  The priest just shrugged and made to follow Erasmus.  He caught up quickly, finding him pacing in a circle and cursing.
“You know,” William said softly, not wanting to spook the man, “Joshua could’ve been hurt a lot worse.  If I didn’t know better, I’d say someone did their best to make sure they took the brunt of the fall instead of the wee fellow.”
Erasmus shot him a glare, which was met with a knowing smile.
“Don’t get any ideas, priest,” Erasmus said, pointing an accusatory finger at him, “I’m out for one person and one person alone.  Me. Myself. Just the one, end of discussion. I’ll not have a bloody man of the goddamned cloth tarnishing my hard-won reputation.”
William raised his hands in a gesture of deference, willing to let the man believe whatever he felt like.  However, William prided himself as a judge of character, not one to be put off by brazen displays of aloofness.  No, Erasmus most definitely was a soft touch at heart. William was sure he deeply cared for the boy. Nothing Erasmus could say would convince him otherwise.
“Ah SHIT , stupid little gremlin!” Erasmus shouted, breaking William from his thoughts.
“You hear me back there!” Erasmus shouted towards the witch and the boy, “You’re done for!  Do you even know how expensive diamond twill is? How hard I had to work for something as nice as this!”
His deep burgundy tunic had been ripped almost completely, ruined as it were.  William rewrote his inner thoughts a bit; maybe he was off. Maybe Erasmus was just what he said he was.
Erasmus went to stalk off again but stopped noticing the look on William’s face.
“What are you looking at, priest?” he hissed in William’s face, “I’ll be back, I just need to go be pissed off for a minute.”
“Understandable, it was a very nice tunic.” William said dryly, not bothering to hide the edge in his voice.  He watched Erasmus stalk off further into the woods.
William had been wrong to jump to that snap judgement, of course, as he knows now.  But that can’t possibly be the same burgundy diamond twill of Erasmus’ old tunic, he must be mistaken.
But there it is, this pattern and this fabric.  From the tunic that had been ruined two years ago.
This is silly.  Ridiculous. Absolute nonsense.  He has to be going mad if he’s getting this distracted about the origins of a stuffed rabbit.  His paramount duty is to protect the boy, not get caught up in a bunch of what-if nonsense that doesn’t really matter.  And that’s the crux, isn’t it? Why does this matter? Why can’t he shake it?
He doesn’t put the rabbit down, just keeps turning it over in his hands.  It’s soft and worn from being well loved.
The stitching on the ears makes him stop; an odd looping thing.  As he runs a finger over it William is sure he’s seen that before as well…
They had made camp near a river, about four months after leaving the village.  They wouldn’t stay long; they never did. Just enough to sleep, maybe to eat a bit.  William had proven to himself that he could be useful and managed to catch a couple of trout (don’t say he never learned anything from his father, not that he ever tried to teach him much).
The smell of the fish roasting over the campfire was drifting through the air and everyone was in good spirits.  Julia was playing with Joshua, keeping him distracted and away from the fire. The two-year-old had developed a habit of grabbing anything within arm’s reach, and it wouldn’t do for him to go grabbing hot fish and burning himself.  Erasmus had wandered off some time ago.
“Julia, my dear, will you keep an eye on the fish for me?” William said, standing and wiping his hands off on his knees, “It’s almost ready, I’m just going to pop off for a bit and find where Erasmus ran off to.”
He followed the river, retracing the steps he saw Erasmus take earlier.  It didn’t take long to find him. He was sitting on a log on the riverside, tunic (a new one, in a deep forest green) draped over a branch1.  He was fiddling with the hem of a spare linen undershirt.
“Are you sewing?” William said, slightly surprised.
“Yea, gotta keep things in order somehow,” Erasmus said as he laid stitches along the hem. “These things wear out, can’t really go around getting new ones.”
“No, I suppose not,” William said as he watched Erasmus’ hands, deftly moving the needle to and fro, in and out.  
It was obviously a well-practiced skill.  William remembered the nuns, when he was still learning the priesthood, taking the time to darn socks that were wearing out rather than replacing them.  Vows of poverty and all that. They would work so quickly you almost couldn’t keep up if you watched. It was soothing. Sister Loquacious tried to teach him once.  It hadn’t gone well.
Erasmus’ needle moved with precision, even if the stitch looked rather odd.  There was the usual straight stitch he was used to seeing, but then he would pass the needle through loops he made at the edge.  Very odd, compared to anything in William’s small knowledge of sewing.
“Where did you learn to do that?” William asked, voice soft and almost a whisper.  One might mistake it for reverent if one were listening.
“Don’t really wanna talk about it, if it’s all the same,” Erasmus said as he finished his stitch.
“Right, of course,” William watched as Erasmus took his tunic down from the branch. “Dinner is almost ready, thought I’d come find you.  You know how Julia is, we’ll be lucky to have any left when we get back.”
“Ha,” Erasmus scoffed, “Right, because she’s the one who goes through our stores.  Don’t think I haven’t seen you sneaking around at night through the rucksacks, priest.”
They both caught the scent of fire-cooked fish wafting towards them.  Erasmus sauntered in the direction of camp with William following close behind.
A few weeks later, Erasmus had shown up in their camp and tossed a burgundy rabbit at Joshua, who immediately named it Harry.
That loop stitching is familiar.  It adorns so many things of his and Julia’s now, where Erasmus has volunteered to fix them.  And here it is, unmistakable, along the ears of this rabbit.
William feels something warm bloom in his heart.  His feelings, this infatuation for Erasmus has been bubbling for a while, no matter how hard he tries to stomp them back down.  His justification has always been that Erasmus is not in this for them, in the long run. The man had told him straight out. Erasmus does things for himself and no one else, no matter how false the priest knew that to be in his heart.
But this was unmistakable.  Sewing a toy rabbit for a scared child.  Sewing it out of his own ruined clothes. How long had Erasmus held onto that ruined tunic?  How long did it take him to make it?
William feels tears start to prickle at the corners of his eyes and holds back a sob.  It feels like something is cracking open inside of him, and when whatever it is spills out, he’ll never be able to put it back.
He misses Erasmus.
He’s alone in the woods with only a small boy and a dog, doing his best to keep them all safe, and he misses Erasmus so much that it physically hurts him.  This is a new feeling to William; attachments like this weren’t allowed in the priesthood.
He remembers the dream he had, almost a year ago now (though not a day goes by that it doesn’t haunt him).  The soft brush of lips on his, that euphoric feeling of being home ripped away so suddenly by the coming of daybreak.
William sits by a campfire, holding a small burgundy rabbit in his hands.
William sits by a campfire and heaves a sigh, hugging said rabbit the same way a small child would.  The same way a small child does almost every day.
William is in love.
He’s in love with Erasmus, and he’s finally admitting this to himself.
And there’s no going back now.
---
1 - He stole it, of course.  Can't expect a conman to go around paying for nice tunics.
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ranger-jedi-knight · 4 years
Text
A New Hero Ch. 4
AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20887313/chapters/51810070
Tag list: @vixen-uchiha
Ok, so here’s the next chap. I’m on my laptop, but idk for how long. We’ll see if it shuts down randomly a lot. If that happens, then back to my phone. No matter what, I’ll work on gettin these chaps out! Also, school threw another essay at me with NO warning. So ya, my recoverin brain just went back to its completely fried state, so sorry about the delay, again. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this new update!!
Mari cheered as she held out macarons to Tim. “I’m glad your first semester at Gotham University,” Mari said and Tim smiled.
“Thanks, Mari,” Tim said. Dick walked into the kitchen talking to Alya with Babs on his other side.
“You’re pathetic without me Dick. How? You had Batman to teach you,” Alya said and Babs laughed while Dick blushed a bit.
“Hey, I tried. But this perp is slippery ok!” Dick said.
“From what Dick has said, the perp is slippery.”
“I’ll give ya a pass this time, boy wonder,” Alya said shaking her head. “Hey, Tim. hows university treating you so far?” she turned a seat to face them while Dick leaned against the wall.
“It’s great,” Tim said and Dick leveled a look at his younger brother.
“He’s getting less sleep somehow,” Dick said and Alya laughed while Mari went over to them and handed them macarons.
“I swear Tim, you live on coffee alone,” Alya said thinking about all the stories Dick has told her about Tim not sleeping.
“So, you know their secret Alya?” Mari asked and Alya nodded.
“Yeah. One night a couple years ago, my car battery stopped and no one could come to change it till the morning. Nightwing came by and said ‘You need help Alya?’,” Alya started laughing as she shook her head. “When he realized what he said he started rambling, saying how Dick told him about me. It was easy to see. I can’t believe this lug,” she threw her thumb at Dick who looked outraged, “hasn’t outed himself and his family to the world yet.”
Everyone started laughing at that while Dick crossed his arms and pouted. “Hey!”
“She’s not wrong, babe,” Babs cut in and Dick nodded at that.
“I know she is, butterfly,” Dick said before munching on a macaron. At that, Alya snorted while shaking her head.
“So, Mari, how do you know their secret?” she asked and Mari smiled at her as she sat down.
“My grandpa Fu has me training with them every summer and sometimes during the weekends. I’m training to become the hero Ladybug!” Mari explained and a small red creature flew from Mari’s hair and went to be in front of Alya with a smile.
“Hi there, I’m Tikki, the kwami of Creation!” the small being introduced and Alya raised a hand and gave a small wave while the kwami went over and shook her finger.
“Hi, Tikki, I’m Alya,” she said as the kwami flew over to Mari and sat on her head.
“I’m surprised you aren’t more shocked, Grayson,” Damian commented looking at Alya who shook her head.
“Damian, call me Alya. You know one day you’re going to call out Grayson when me and Dick are here and we’ll both go ‘Yes?’ and that’ll be annoying. So please, just call me Alya, or Als even,” Alya said and Damian gave a small nod of understanding at that.
“I’ll be honest, I almost replied when you said Grayson, Damian,” Dick admitted with a chuckle that had everyone laughing. Jason popped in then and looked at them curiously.
“What’s everyone laughing at?” he asked as he opened the fridge and pulled out a soda and opened the can.
“I got introduced to Tikki, and Damian was asking how I wasn’t more shocked and said my last name and Dick admitted to almost responding when Damian said it,” Alya said and Jason started laughing at that.
“I don’t know what’s better. That Dick got partnered with a person who shares the same last name as him, or that said person has basically become a family friend and is now causing trouble because of their last name,” Jason commented and Alya shook her head with a laugh.
“Just imagine the chaos if my sister was also here. Then there would be three Grayson’s to confuse,” Alya said which had everyone laughing before Tim turned to Alya with a curious look when he finished laughing.
“How is Lana by the way? I didn’t see her much during my final semester there,” he asked and Alya leaned onto her elbows and looked at her hands with a sigh.
“I’m not sure,” she said after a moment of silence. “She….seems to be hiding from me….but she sounds so excited when she answers my calls or I manage to catch her,” she said slowly, putting her clasped hands in front of her mouth. “I….I don’t like what this is pointing towards,” she finished looking over at Dick whose cheerful face had turned stony.
“What do you mean?” Damian asked while his two other brothers were frowning. They looked over at him and Alya looked at Dick who nodded along with the others.
“It means…..her boyfriend may be…..hurting her…..someway,” she said slowly and Damian frowned at that.
“Can we not help get her out of that?” he asked and Alya sighed and let Dick take over.
“It’s not that easy baby bird,” Dick said and Damian looked over at him confused. “These types of situations are…..delicate,” Dick walked over to Damian and led him from the room to tell him softly while Mari continued to frown.
“Will you be able to help her?” Mari asked and Alya gave a small, defeated shrug.
“I’m not sure. But I’ll try,” she answered and Mari nodded as Babs placed a hand on her shoulder. Alya gave a small nod towards the woman. “Why don’t we go to a happier topic?” at that, they all nodded agreement. Though Jason and Tim looked upset, they didn’t say anything. Dick and Damian came back then, Damian was scowling and sat down with Mari joining him.
“Bruce and Clark have been dating for about a year now, how long do you think it’ll take for them to get engaged? I’m thinking a few years” Babs asked and Alya laughed at that which had the others joining in.
“You really think it’ll take that long?” Alya asked and both Babs and Dick nodded.
“Yes. It took those two years to just admit they like each other. So it’s safe to assume it’ll take a while for them to get engaged. One, because Clark wouldn’t want to impose or force anything on Bruce, he wants to make sure Bruce is comfortable with everything they do. And two, Bruce is emotionally constipated,” this had Alya snorting with a few others joining, “and so he won’t really know how to go about it. So a few years is generous. For that to happen within let’s say, three years, they would probably need Lois and our help in doing that,” Dick explained and Alya nodded as she continued to laugh.
“Oh brother, that’ll be interesting to watch,” Alya remarked and they nodded at that. “How did Lois react to that by the way? She was married to Clark,” she asked and Dick nodded.
“It hurt her at first, but she could see they would be good for each other. Connor and Jon laugh every time Lois complains about how the two of them are idiots,” Dick explained and that had Alya laughing.
“That’s sweet that she’s letting the two of them be together,” Alya said smiling.
“Ya, she’s their biggest shipper it seems. Quickly followed by both cities it feels like some days,” Babs said and Alya had to nod agreement to that.
“From what it seems, the two are idiots who will take ages to get married,” Alya said before smirking at the couple in the room, “like someone else we know~” she teased out and the two blushed while Jason and Tim started laughing beside them.
“She has a point,” Jason said smirking as well and the couple in question just glared at them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mari was grinning while she was with Tim. They were exiting the movie theater having just seen a new movie they were interested in. As they were walking they saw Dick and Alya walking as they discussed something. It had been quite some time since they last saw the brunette. “Dick, Alya, what’s up!?” Tim shouted to catch their attention as they sped over to catch up. The two turned to them with frowns but smiled at them.
“Hey, Tim, Mari. How’s it going?” Alya greeted.
“It’s fine, what about you though?” Mari asked and Alya shared a look with Dick.
“Yeah, what’s up?” Tim asked and the two sighed.
“Nothing much. Just discussing what I missed while I helped Lana move into her dorm for college,” she explained and Tim nodded but he narrowed his eyes and Dick just mouthed ‘later’.
“Why don’t you guys get going? We have a case we need to work on and didn’t Alfred want to bake with Mari?” Dick asked and the two nodded.
“Oh! We should. See ya later, Alya, Dick!” Mari shouted and grabbed Tim’s hand and started running, barely giving Tim enough time to wave goodbye to them. They reached the manor in record time and Mari let Tim’s hand go before running towards the kitchen where he heard Alfred moving around.
~~~~~~~~~~~~(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alya was scowling next to Dick when they entered the manor. Dick’s normally cheery face was set in a frown. This had the brothers worried. “What’s wrong, boy wonder?” Jason asked as Tim handed Dick his just made hot chocolate and prepared a new one. Dick took the mug and took a sip before sighing. They sat down in the kitchen, Dick leaned against the table on his elbows while Alya leaned against the chair’s back, sliding a bit with her head back.
“It’s about Lana….” Alya started after a couple minutes. This had the three frowning as they sat down at the table with their own cups. Tim slid one over to Alya and she caught it with ease.
“What about her?” Jason asked leaning against the table. They were glad Mari was with Alfred at the store then. If this was going where it sounded like it would, they didn’t want the sweet girl hearing.
“We….” she trailed off and took a sip of her drink while moving to lean onto the table, looking into her mug. “We were able to figure out that Steve’s been emotionally abusing Lana since before her sophomore year,” she said and the boys had different reactions to that, Jason and Damian were the most vocal. The two had actually growled at hearing it. “We just got….we just came from helping Lana break it off, both Dick and I scared Steve away from Gotham. She’s at my place right now, cuddling the dog I’m babysitting for my friend,” she said.
“Should Lana really be alone right now?” Jason asked and Alya narrowed her eyes at him while Dick placed a hand on both of their shoulders.
“Jay bird,” he started and Jason looked over at him while Alya sighed and looked back at her drink while sipping at it. “It’s alright. Alya knows that Lana shouldn’t be alone right now, but she can’t leave early, the big man is in a bad mood. But right now Lana has a furry companion,” he said and Alya nodded.
“And Cole should be finishing soon, so he’ll be able to comfort her until I can head home,” Alya added.
“Who’s Cole?” Jason asked with narrowed eyes and Alya narrowed hers in return.
“My boyfriend. I’ve been dating him for almost a year. He absolutely adores Lana, treats her like she’s his little sister. I trust him,” Alya said and the two nodded.
“But what about after today?” Tim asked.
“The precinct has agreed to let Lana stay there and hang with Alya and I until she’s comfortable with being by herself. They’re talking with Gordon right now to have it happen,” Dick replied and Tim nodded.
“Could we hang out with her? Mari could make some treats,” Damian asked and Alya gave a small smile at that.
“That would be nice,” she started but turned to Jason and sighed. “But it would be smart for you to not see her for a bit, Jason. I’m sorry.” Jason looked at her confused, along with Damian while Tim gave a nod at that, having a thought as to why.
“What do you mean?” Jason asked.
“Well,” she started and looked over at Dick.
“We think…..Steve did something, said something, after she met you while returning Tim’s book. He didn’t like how you two interacted. We don’t know what he said or did, but when we asked Lana if she’d like to see you guys when we finished the confrontation, she….was scared. She needs a bit of time to get over whatever he said about you,” Dick explained and Jason looked shocked at hearing that while Damian had an unreadable expression.
“I….I don’t know when she’ll be good to see you again, but it’d do her good if you don’t see her for the time being,” Alya said and Jason nodded.
“Alright, I’ll keep away until she’s not scared anymore,” Jason agreed and Alya nodded with a smile.
“Thanks,” Alya replied while both Tim and Dick patted his back.
“What’s going on here?” Mari asked as she and Alfred entered the kitchen.
“Some….not so good news about Lana,” Tim said slowly and Mari frowned at that while Alfred tilted his head.
“Is she sad?” Mari asked and they nodded since she’d probably feel sad at some point during this. “Can I make her something? Treats always brightens a persons day!” Mari said and Alya smiled at that.
“She’d like that,” Alya said and Mari beamed at that.
“Great! I’ll make some cookies for her!” With that, Mari quickly put away the items she and Alfred got and pulled out the items needed to make cookies. Tim went over to Alfred and whispered what was up while Jason stood up.
“I’ll be back,” Jason said and he went upstairs while Damian went over to Mari and handed her items she needed. Alya and Dick shared a confused look but Dick only shrugged, he was used to his brother’s seemingly random actions. Jason soon came down holding a small black box and slid it over to Alya who looked at it confused. “Mind giving her this? You don��t have to say who gave it to her,” he said and Alya gave a slight nod as she opened the box curious.
Inside was a necklace, connecting the two chains was a silver dagger pendant with three stone, two in the hilt area and one on the blade. “What’s this about?” Alya asked and Jason looked away with a shrug.
“A friend talked about some crystals, that one,” he pointed to a small stone that was black, blue, and green that rested on the top part of the crossguard, “is labradorite,” he then pointed to the bottom of the crossguard at a black stone, “that is black tourmaline, and that,” he then pointed to a purple crystal that rested on the blade near the crossguard, “is amethyst. They provide different protection to people. I don’t particularly believe in them, but I originally got it for Mari to help her, but I think she won’t mind it going to Lana. Right, Mari?” Jason turned to the girl who was smiling at him while the others were smirking in some way.
“I don’t mind at all! Crystals can really help someone, provide hope. This could really benefit Lana,” she said and Alya smiled with a nod as she closed the box.
“I’ll be sure to give it to her as soon as possible,” Alya said gently putting the box into her purse and finished her drink. “The hot chocolate was delicious Tim,” Alya stated as she stood up with Dick following.
“See you in a few hours, we should really get going,” Dick agreed. They then left the kitchen while hearing Damian, Tim, and Mari saying ‘ooh’ and Jason shouting.
“It’s not like that!” Jason shouted while Tim gave him a look.
“Uh-huh. Sure,” Tim said with a smirk and Jason glared at his younger brother. Mari was smirking as she finished mixing the cookie dough and started putting it onto cookie sheets. Damian was smirking at Jason as well but didn’t say anything. Mari was putting the trays into the oven while Tikki ate some cookie dough.
“You got it bad,” Mari mumbled which caused Jason to sputter.
“No, I don’t!” Jason yelled as he left the kitchen. Tim and Mari laughed while Alfred shook his head fondly. Damian continued smirking.
“I soo won’t let him live this down,” Tim said and Mari started laughing at that.
“Did either of you want to join me in dropping these off?” Mari asked as she got out a container before going to wash the things she used while waiting for the cookies to cook.
“Sure,” Damian said and Mari smiled while Tim shook his head.
“You go ahead. I have some stuff I need to work on,” Tim said as he got up and headed towards the stairs and to his office.
~~~~~~~~~~~~(ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mari beamed at them as she waved goodbye to the Wayne’s, Clark, and Alya. Clark had an arm around Bruce and Alya stood to the side. This time, Chloe and Nino had brought Kim with them and they were waiting in front of the portal with big smiles. Mari ran over to the three and hugged them tightly. “I hope you had a good time,” Kim said and Mari nodded.
“Yeah! Maybe you guys can join me here!” Mari said and they nodded agreement.
“Any friend of Mari’s can visit us with her,” Bruce said and the three smiled.
“Thanks, dude!” Nino called out.
“See ya again, sunshine. Don’t get into trouble!” Alya shouted which the others nodded agreement to.
“Will do!” Mari shouted as they went through the portal.
Alster <3 @Bi_Arrow
#sunshinechild is awesome. Had a great time hanging with her when I was with the Wayne’s. Can’t wait for next time and @proudgothamite I’ll take ya with. Only when you’re ready though. Hope you liked the gift from a friend ;)
Here’s the next chap. I hope you enjoyed it, I had a fun time writing this, we got more Alya and Lana! Well, Alya. You guys got more info on what’s happenin with Lana. So, the next chap, i’ll be honest, idk how long it’ll take. Cause this comin week is the final week of this sems college classes and i have a final. So ya. That MAY fry my brain and cause a delay. We’ll see thou. Anyways, LUV YA!! ~Willa <3<3<3
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suhoerections · 5 years
Text
OH MY GOD THIS BLOG TURNED 1 ON THE 21ST AND I FORGOT ASKDJFHASJKF BUT HAPPY BIRTHDAY SUHOERECTIONS AND EVERYONE WHO FOLLOWS I’M GONNA GO ON A RANT ABOUT MY MUTUALS UNDER THE READ MORE TAG OKAY BUT BASICALLY I LOVE ALL OF MY FOLLOWERS AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR MAKING THIS YEAR SO INCREDIBLE <3333
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also shout out to all my followers i’m not mutuals with but enjoy my content and reblog/like my work, I really appreciate yall, keep up the good work you’re all beautiful
okay this isn’t in any particular order i’m just going off who i remember and i’m trying to not miss anyone so if i do feel free to call me out and also i’m sorry if i don’t write as much for some people asdfjkhasd
@ninibears-erigom
okay look,,, you’re literally such an amazing person and the reason why i didn’t straight up deactivate in january like you helped me so much during that time and also through so much other stuff and I’m so thankful for you,, you’re one of the most realist and most amazing people I’ve ever met. I love you so much you’re literally the best mother i could have ever asked for like i want to squeeze the life out of you god. I seriously cannot express how much i love and appreciate you like?? I’m tearing up writing this because you’re literally one of the most amazing people to walk this Earth like??? and even though i’m a shit head and i spam you with ‘ayla’ 20 times just to tell you i did a good shit,,, you still love me?? also like you’re literally the reason i write???? that sounds so dumb but you’re seriously my muse,, i genuinely look upto you as a person because you’re so strong, wonderful, amazing, genuine, beautiful, sweet, caring, kind and that’s all i can think of off the top of my head. I love you so much and I have to cut this short cause i’m gonna feel bad cause i wrote so much asdkjfh but you’re amazing and i swear if you say otherwise i’ll eat all the lactose in the world (i cried writing this stfu) also you are nini’s cheek spreader :>> 
@thesoondongiefiles
You’re like?? my literal best friend?? and probably one of the best people i’ve met on this hell site,, i really don’t regret randomly messaging you “hey i need aussie friends” asdkjfh but fr i love you so much and you’ve been with me through thick and thin and i really appreciate it so much like you’re so amazing and kind and your art is actually so beautiful like you’re such an amazing person you don’t even know the start of it you dummy. I love how we can be ourselves around each other even though we haven’t known each other the longest but still, you’re my favorite soondongie and i love you so much man,, like we talk so much you’ve literally just become the older sister i never had and i really appreciate that like man idek what to write cause i just really appreciate you,, you’re just amazing and i love you very much and i hope we can meet one day cause you’re not that far away from me and i really love you ehehe 
@chanyeolol
KUKI MY FREAKING CHILD I LOVE YOU AND HELL YOU’RE SO AMAZING OMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG idek kuks you’re just the best and you’re like the first mutual i made on this hellsite and damn you’re also like the best?? like i love how hyperactive you are you dummy you keep me on my toes and i love talking with you even if it takes me days to reply on instagram (sorry i’m barely active there askdjfh) but fr i love you very much and i really appreciate you and you’re so freaking BEAUTIFUL and i’ll bop you on the head if you say otherwise you dummy i love you
@letsmakeitforever
FUY MY GOD like i pray to you everyday smh i love you,,, like you’re amazing and cute and like you’re so NICE jesus christ i want to hug the shit out of you,, you’re sweet as fuck and istg you’re just great?? and i love that i can talk to you about sucking Jungkook’s dick cause like almost all my mutuals don’t stan bts so its nice to have an army friend,, i also really appreciate you and the support you’ve shown me and i always try and send you asks but i never know if they get through because my tumblr likes to fuck up but bottom line is i think you’re literally one of the most amazing people akjsdfha
@kyungseokie
OH BOY HERE COMES A TRAIN WRECK,, dia,, my child,, i love you very much and you always make me DIE with those freaking things where you just cut the conversation short and go “hey junmyeon would fuck you in a change room” LIKE JESUS CHRIST LET ME BREATHE but at the same time i sorta just drop like ksoo bombs as well so aksjdfhkj i guess its fair hehe but seriously!!! i love sharing ideas with you cause you’re literally so creative and you’re so amazing and have such a way with words like your writing is so magnificent no one can compare like you’re a poet with words akjsdfhkajs and you’re such a sweetheart too?? like i could write a whole ass page filled with positive words to describe you because you’re so beautiful and sweet and kind like gosH you’re such an amazing person i love you very much <33
@heonythighs
well howdy partner welcome to ram ranch askdfjhds gosh the horniest cowboy ever, 10/10 commentary, you’re amazing to converse with cause you’re just greaT and like idk you’re just super fun to talk to?? like i always laugh my ass off when we converse cause you’re a comedic genIUS i swear and you’re also the horniest chanyeol stan i’ve ever met oh god asdkfhasdkj but you’re jsut a really fun person and you’re also so amazing in general like fr fr your cowboy hat should have a label on it that says “i’m the best cowboy fuck all you bitches” like ugH i love you you’re so cool and just so chill i hope you have a fun time at ram ranch with your cowboys
@byunfirstlady
LAURE LOOK NOT TO PLAY FAVORITES BUT YOU’RE MY FAVORITE MUTUAL I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ASDKFJHAS like idek how to describe it but i could write so much about how much of an amazing person you are like you’re so cute and sweet and you always tag me in stuff (i need to tag you in more bbh adkjfh) but you’re such an artist like your work is so amazing!! i always feel so inspired by your work and it never fails to make me write!! you’re also the sweetest person on this site and your tags make me  c r y   like Laure you’re just so beautiful and sweet and i just combust because you’re so adorable,,, i want to hug you you’re so amazing and you’re so sweet ugh i could go on forever about this because you’re such a cutie i swear and you’re so fun to talk to as well like i really like discussing my fic ideas with you, especially the bbh series i’m writing askdjfh anyways i better stop before i take up a whole thing of why i love you so much you’re adorable <333
@flowerline8
ugh my number 1 nini stan !!!! i love writing nini stuff for you because you’re just so amazing and i love your tags they always make me smile,, you’re also adorable and funny to talk with and you’re also super beautiful ??? like i think its illegal how beautiful you are btw like its just the law,,, you’re under arrest for being too beautiful, sweet and kind. Like ugh Pauline you’re so sweet i want to hug you bc you’re so sweet but then again you’re so chaotic it makes me laugh adskfjhas like idek how to describe it but its so funny but fr fr you’re so sweet and you deserve everything <33
@fairyyeols
SIENNA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY OTHER MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!! gosh what a hoe i love you akdsfjhasjk you’re also too sweet like >:(( call me cute again i dare you like YOU’RE the cute one in this relationship smh,,, pcy agrees kdfak but ugh you’re just so nice i swear to the lord above god was making you in his little bowl and accidentally dropped all the sweetness in your mix cause you’re just so sweet omg,, like Enna you’re so amazing and your writing!!!! *chef kiss* exquisite just like you. You’re also hella funny??? like you’re sweet AND funny like that’s not fair, you’ve gotta have something else bad about you but no! cause guess what! YOU’RE ALSO SO BEAUTIFUL WTH!?!?! so you’re beautiful, literally the sweetest person alive, funny as and am an amazing author,,, like you’re too perfect for this world,,, you’re such an amazing person i hope you get everything you ever want <33
@multi-yeol
GRACE AKJDSFHKSJ i remember the first time we talked was such a mess jesus christ you’re so chaotic i love it and gosh you’re also so beautiful, funny and amazing?? like you’re gonna look at this and go ‘no i’m not’ but you are just saying asdkjf you’re so sweet and like a genuinely good person??????? like how can you be both that and super freaking beautfiul??? my tiny brain can’t comprehend your amazing-ness,, you deserve the whole freaking world you sweetheart asdfhkdh 
@cbxtual
Hope, my fellow weeb,,, we don’t talk as much but i do miss it! you’re funny and a great friend and i really miss all the times we’d say dumb shit with grace in the group chat aksjdfhak you’re also really funny and like?? idk you’re just great in general?? like your writing,,, god tier,,, your personality,,,, amazing,,, your looks,,,,, beautiful,,,, like Hope, you’re the full package man ugh and I HOPE you have a great time hehehe (sorry i couldn’t help myself) akdsjfhas but i’m still writing that yoongi fluff for you its just buried under all my other wips but i will get around to it adsfkjah
@naminalati
all i have to say is you’re the kindest person to ever exist and we haven’t talked much so i can’t really say a lot sorry but you’re just so kind and sweet?? like you’re the literal definition of a sweetheart and you’re the cutest person i’ve ever witnessed <33 I hope you have an amazing day because i really appreciate you and you’re just so amazing and beautiful and i have no idea how long you’ve been following me but you’ve been there for ages and i appreciate it 
@abunnycotton @khelmatic @yayitsjay @k-pop-trashx 
OKAY so i’ve never talked to any of yall but like !!!!! i see yalll in my activity a lot and i just want you to know that i really love and appreciate you all because you’re all beautiful sweethearts who deserve the world, thank you
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deaf-bakugou · 5 years
Note
Hello! I have an au(for Sanders Sides) where one of the characters is deaf. Would it be all right if I ask you a couple of questions to help ensure I'm not completely messing up how I write him? Of course, you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or anything. I guess my first question would be how much can you hear with your hearing aids? And without? Do you're hearing aids ever feel uncomfortable or make certain sounds unbearable? I'll probably be back with more if its all right
Hey! Hey! Please feel free to ask me all of the questions you want! You can direct message me and it will be easier for us to properly discuss things like that. So imma be honest with you hearing loss is vastly different for every person and no one 'hears' exactly the same! With me hearing aids out... well I am not very reliable! My left ear is far worse than my right ear. On my left side I can't hear much at all. Loud noises! Crashes and bangs and sirens. All of this depends on distance and environment though. Example. Every single dish in my cabinet that was glass fell out and shattered on the ground while I was standing in the living room. I HEARD IT. Tornado siren is going off outside and I am sitting inside reading a book. I did not hear it. My right ear is a little bit better! On that side even with my hearing aids out I can hear human speech! So a lot more noise range. But it doesnt make sense. And again it depends on the environment! But if you yell into my right ear then I can make out words depending. Again, on environment and the person. The ability to understand something depends on SO many factors. Environment, accent, and every thing in between. With my hearing aids in, well I can actually mostly pass as a hearing person. In one on one conversations I do decently well with a few mistakes a conversation but normally pretty easy to figure out "why do you want to go to canada" "no Krys we need to buy banana's." But if that person had an accent? (Basically anything I am not used to lip reading, so I am from deep south Texas yall.) So any other type of pattern of speech can be difficult. Spanish accents are the most common around here but any accent takes my understanding level way way down and I always feel so bad because sometimes if my server is from like somewhere in Africa and I can't understand her and ask her to repeat herself a lot she thinks I am bring racist and then it's a whole apology and trying to explain that I can't hear well and it can be quite a mess... another thing that can defeat me is facial hair! Anything that blocks the lips. Lots of Deaf people rely on a mixture of residual hearing and lip reading to understand spoken words. I am no different! So facial hair can just take me the fuck out. It is not that I don't want to understand there is just no longer the ability for me to gather the information I need in order to be able to put together the puzzle that is spoken speech! I am sure you can guess, but this is exhausting. And frustrating.
Do my HEARING AIDS EVER GET UNCOMFORTABLE??? YOU BET YOUR ROOTIN TOOTIN BOOTY THEY SURE FUCKING DO! God they itch something terrible, sometimes. They can cause frequent ear infection because your ears are not draining like they naturally do. Ear wax build up is a thing too! And that is not even talking about the weight of them. Most of the time it is fine. You get used to it. But sometimes rye weight just hurts. Sometimes, I will just like, pop them out and let them hang by the tubing I will post a picture to help you understand what I mean. It wont let me add right now but I will post it and tag you. And like I see Deaf people do that shit all the time. I actually learned to do it from my Mentor at a disability Advocates center I worked out before Trump cut the funding for Disabled individuals to have Advocates and I lost my fucking job. So fuck Trump. And we have not even started to cover auditory overstimulation and other things that cause pain.
Noises that annoy me???? Lol sometimes literally everything. From just casual talking to alarm tones. But this is kind of a trick question. When I am auditory overstimulated any noise can literally make me cry or cause me to develop severe pulsing headaches or migraines. Time to take them the fuck out for a goddamn break. But on the everyday normal side? That is going to depend on the person. I don't like noises that consistently cause feedback. Girls who talk in that high pitched "oh my god!" Rich girl valley girl type of speak quickly can cause me to end up overstimulated. Beeping noises for a period of time. I like to think that I am only annoyed by things that would annoy other people. But I shouted at my spouse for like rubbing a styrofoam cup the other day so idk. It was just a really grating noise and I was struggling. (I still shouldn't have shouted. I apologized. We talked about what was going wrong.) But yeah. I will post that pic and feel free to send me a personal message. I would love to help up and I don't mind reading scenes with your Deaf character to help make sure it is realistic and fits with the reality of being Deaf.
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timelock97 · 5 years
Text
Time Never Stops
Chapter One: Always Interrupting
Word Count: 1763
Prologue
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Warnings: Language, fluff
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[Present Day]
I enter my newly furnished recording studio with a water bottle in one hand and a plate with a sandwich on it in the other. I set the plate down and reach under my desk to start my computer for today's events. While I wait, I spin around in my swivel chair and look at the room. The black and green padding on the walls were set in a diagonal pattern, and a white board with this weeks schedule placed in between some of the padding. Two bookshelves sit nestled against the back wall on either side of the door; the shelves are covered in merch, fan gifts, and several pictures of friends and me. Most of the pictures had been of Tom and I throughout the years, my favorite of the bunch sitting beside my monitor on my desk. His arm is around my waist while he stands behind me, donning a pair of black swim trunks, smiling into the side of my face as I laugh in a black and white checkered bikini. We are standing in the ocean, vacationing in Hilton Head, South Carolina, when we were seventeen.
Tom Holland, my best friend for as long as I can remember, and long time crush. Gotta love that the one person that knows you the best, happens to be the one that you fall for so easily. I didn't know if it was his sunshine smile, the infectious laugh, or the fact that he knows me better than I know myself; but, he is the one person I wish nothing more to have at my side for the rest of my life. However, it isn't that simple. With him being busy with his acting career and me being busy with YouTube, we hadn't had much time to spend together, not that it would have changed anything. Tom is my best friend, and that was that. I just have to be happy that he is still in my life after all these years, and hadn't lost contact while we went from immature teens to slightly more mature adults.
I smiled when my computer finally loads. I log on and set up my software before I clap my hands together, testing the frequency of the mic. I set up the game, placing my headphones over my beanie covered hair, and check to make sure that everything is running smoothly before I click record on the second monitor. I smile at the camera and begin my intro, "What's up, guys? You're on with Timelock! And today, as you can already tell, we are playing Detroit: Become Human. I have been beyond excited to play this game for the past three weeks, but of course since I was away in the UK visiting with Dan and Phil doing some fun videos and joining Sean, aka Jacksepticeye, and Mark, aka Markiplier, for a charity livestream kept me from starting the game. Which reminds me, I cannot believe how well we did on the livestream and I wanted to thank everyone who watched and participated with us across all platforms. You guys are amazing. Now going back to the game, Sean said that it is worth the wait, so without anymore interruptions, I hope, let's get started!"
~
"Holy shit, so that's what happened to Kara." I breathe as I move the character from Alice's room down to the first floor. I glance up at the next activity for the character, "See Todd for further instructions." I let out a gasp as I watch the scene unfold in front of me, watching as Todd yells at his daughter and frighten her. "Shit, I thought that was going to end badly, I mean, it could have. This game is already super interesting, now I know why everyone has been talking this game up! But, guys, the clock is ticking! Thank you so much for watching, and if you enjoyed the video, don't forget to give that like button a little bit of love. And I will see you, in the next one! Time-" I jump as my phone begins to blare the old Spider-Man theme song from inside my desk. I glance at the drawer and pull it out to see a picture of Tom sticking his middle finger up his nose, his name place directly over his face. I roll my eyes and look back at the camera. "I said there would be no interruptions, I stand corrected." I answer the phone, "Hold up thirty seconds, I'm saying my outro."
Tom's laugh echoes through the receiver, "Okay, okay."
"Let's try this again. Time resume." I point at the screen for a few seconds before I end the recording and place my phone back against my ear. "You really have impeccable timing. What is this, the sixth time in the past two weeks?"
"Sorry, love, figured you would be done by now." He chuckled, "And I miss you."
"I miss you too, Thomas." I smile, grabbing my camera so I can begin uploading the recording to my editing software. "How's filming?"
"Good, good," he pauses, shifting in the background. "We actually finished yesterday and are going to be heading out to start promoting the movie, then I am off to start filming for the newest Avengers movie."
"Ooh," I enthuse, plugging in my camera and shifting to save and close out of the game, "That sounds amazing, Tom." I sigh, happy to hear that he was doing well after long months of filming, advertising, repeating. "But it also sounds exhausting."
"Honestly, it is," he sighs. "How was London and Brighton? My mum said you visited and Harrison was sending me snapchats of you at the flat."
"It was really nice. Actually, Harrison decided, even though I discussed it with him a month previous, that he did not want to let me stay. However, Tessa pushed past him into the hallway when she heard me." I pause my rant as I hear Tom laugh at the statement, "It was an entertaining two weeks in London, and I spend two days with your mum, dad, and brothers. It was nice spending time with them and not having to worry about working." I say, watching the video finally load up into the editing software. "And Brighton was amazing. When you're home, and I can find time to fly out, we have to go and spend a week out there. Its beautiful."
"Sounds like a plan, bug." He sighs.
"I do have to edit, do you wanna Skype so we can continue the conversation?"
"Yeah, I'd love that," he whispered. I quickly pulled up my Skype, after a few minutes, his face popped up into my screen.
"Hey! Its my favorite boy!" I yell, throwing my hands over my head. I watched as Tom's smile fades as he looks behind me with knitted eyebrows. "Hey, what's wrong?"
"That's not your normal studio, is it?" He asked, sounding concerned.
"Oh, I thought I told you the good news?" I said rolling backwards so that I was in the middle of my recording studio, "I got the apartment!" I looked at him in excitement, but I noticed he wasn't smiling. "What's wrong? I thought you would be happy."
"I- I am, I just," he runs his hand through his hair, "God, I've missed so much by being gone all the time."
"Tom..." I murmur, "Hey, it's okay. What you're doing is just as important-"
"But, it's your first flat," he whispers, "I was going to come and help you unpack, make sure that your first night wasn't spent alone," he pouts at me, but I can see the small smile on his lips at the promise he made me years ago.
"I didn't spend it alone! I made a girls night out of it! I had Izzy, Haley, and Mia spend the night with me and it was a lot of fun. I know you wanted it to be you, but when you get done with everything I can show you the place." Tom sighs and places his head on his fist. "I know what'll make you feel better, how about I promise next time you are here we marathon all the Marvel movies."
"All the movies?" he teases, his frown disappearing. I nod and he smiles back, "That sounds awesome." He laughs.
I roll back up to my desk to start editing while Tom tells me about some of the more entertaining things that have happened the last few weeks. Another Skype message pops up from JacKyleGameplays, interrupting his rambling. Hey, TL. We and the girls are going to play some prop hunt, wanna join? ~Jac
"What was that?" Tom asks, tilting his head to the side.
"GameSquad wants to play prophunt," I state, getting ready to tell them that I had some things to finish and wouldn't be able to get on today.
"I'll let you go then-"
"No, it's okay, I can stay on." I tell him, looking back at the camera, "We always get interrupted, I can play prophunt any other time. I almost never see you anymore."
"You sure? I don't mind, I can just call later." Even though he says it's fine, I can see in his eyes he really doesn't want me to hang up.
"Nope, I want to talk to you, I can always talk to the GameSquad." I finish sending the message and mute the rest of my chats, "There, no interruptions this time."
"Is it because I am Mr. Always Interrupting?"
"Damn straight," I say giggling, "Now, who out of all the people you have played as is your favorite character? And you can't pick Spider-Man."
"But, I am Spider-Man!"
"No, you are Thomas Stanley Holland!" I shout playfully, making him laugh, "My best friend since two years old, my tiny-toddling husband, knight in shining armor, and the one person that knows me better than I know myself."
He immediately begins to laugh harder, "My Mum sent me that video of us "getting married" last week."
"I asked if she would since we found it. I was hoping it would make you smile."
"It did, my little lovely wife." He sighs, "and my favorite character? Definitely your best friend, because that's the one I get to play for the rest of my life."
A blush creeps up my neck as I look away from the screen, "That's cheesy, and you're only saying it because I said it first!"
"But being your best friend is my favorite thing, you know me more than I know myself."
"I should, I've known you my whole life" I whisper.
"And I wouldn't have it any other way," he says with a dopey smile. "Now, what were you recording before I so rudely interrupted?"
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A/N: Comment and reblog! What did you think? Let me know if you want to be tagged. IDK what else I’m supposed to put at the bottom. I’m going to try and post chapters Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday (since I already finished writing it).
@revenantwriting
Chapter Two
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fantastiqueparfait · 4 years
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Untitled Band!AU 3/?
Part 3 would not leave me alone until I wrote it, even though I have almost two chapters of its companion multichapter in-progress right now. It’s a long one too -- twice as long as part 2 and 3 times as long as part 1!
Oh well, such is life! This one is heavily inspired by “Bad Feeling” by Cobra Man, and while it’s not the song the band is playing in this one (IDK what is), it is the song that gave me the inspiration for the music video concept. 
Summary: The band films their first music video. Things do not go entirely to plan. (Genfic, no warnings)
Tagging: @meggz0rz​, @dangerouspompadour​, @bearpluscat​... HMU if you want to be added!
Click the link under Debbie to read on!
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This was a problem. She hadn’t meant for things to get so out of hand (“Or in hand!” she could almost hear her uncle shout).
Really, it had all started with Shippo. If he hadn’t invited the band over for a horror movie marathon (“To celebrate the shiny new record contract!”), they never would’ve come up with the video concept. And if Kohaku hadn’t been so hell-bent on self-producing (“It’ll be epic! And, you know… band bonding time,”) she would never have texted Uncle Inuyasha to see if they could take over one of his empty warehouses for a week.
He, of course, was happy to oblige (and not mention a word to her dad). Kagura didn’t need any convincing to keep Rin’s activities on the DL either – not that she was terribly surprised by that; Rin was pretty sure her stepmother’s true joy in life was making Sesshomaru violently uncomfortable.
And that’s how she found herself spending a week of her summer break in an empty warehouse on the outskirts of Saga (aka “the actual middle of fucking nowhere” per Satsuki), clad in a sports bra and cropped running tights and drenched in fake blood, accompanied by her bandmates and half of the university’s Aspiring Filmmakers Club as crew.
For some insane reason, Kagome had insisted on hosting them all. Not that that would’ve been a huge issue for them space-wise – one of the merits of living in the middle of nowhere was that there was space to have a giant house, which enabled them to host ten university students – but still, who would want ten university students in their house for a week, especially when they had small children?
They’d shot all of the footage of them actually playing the song on days one and two on a soundstage they built in the warehouse, and they spent the bulk of day three and four with about thirty local volunteer “zombies” doing exterior shots of the band split into groups (Rin and Kohaku battling through the industrial park, Shippo and Ai being chased through town, and Satsuki singlehandedly fighting off zombies on the “subway” – actually a retired traincar at the railway museum in Fukuoka).
Day five was the big one though – they were filming the finale fight scene inside the warehouse. Inuyasha and Kagome had brought them dinner (though should she eat if she was about to film an almost-shirtless fight scene? One of the downsides to self-producing meant that there was nobody with real film experience on set… She decided she didn’t want the answer to that question anyway as she and the others dug in).
“This is pretty impressive, you guys! How did you convince the studio to grant approval to self-produce your first music video?” Kagome asked brightly.
“Yeah… about that…” Shippo began, “We haven’t exactly told them? We’re hoping they’ll be impressed with the end result and approve it retroactively.”
“Yeah, they already think we’re ‘unique’ as it is, so we’re hoping it gels with ‘the brand’ they seem to have in mind,” Ai added.
She supposed she should feel relieved that the “brand” the label envisioned wasn’t too different from the one the band had for themselves (“scrappy”, as Ai liked to put it) – there weren’t many bands out there that had both human and youkai members, and, as far as she knew, they were the only youkai/human band that was 3/5ths female and had a member raised in one of Japan’s most prominent youkai families.
“Time to go! You ready?” Kohaku asked. She nodded and did her best to clear her mind.
Five hours later, they had it. She’d spent the rest of the weekend visiting Kagome’s lab and babysitting her cousins (it was the least she could do in return) before catching the bullet train back to Tokyo from Hakata (Shippo, Kohaku, Ai, and Satsuki drove the fourteen hours back to Tokyo with the instruments the day after the shoot ended).
She did her best to forget about the music video until about a month later, when Shippo announced the label had actually approved (something Rin had never thought would happen, as much fun as she’d had making the video) and would be scheduling the release for the next week. Suddenly, things felt a lot more real.
Things were much more real when she had gathered everyone – Sesshomaru, Kagura, Jaken, and even Inuyasha and Kagome (who claimed they were in town for work reasons) – in the living room at home.
“Okay so, you know how I went to Saga for a week last month? Well we filmed a music video, and it was approved by the label, and uhh… here it is. It’s being released tomorrow, so… yeah,” she finished weakly as she started the video and slinked off to the back of the room.
Rin hated listening to herself, and she didn’t enjoy watching herself either, but the first minute and a half wasn’t so bad – it set up the “zombie apocalypse” cut with the band playing the song. Not bad at all.
And then the fighting started and Shippo and Ai were chased through downtown Saga on a motorcycle (she was still bummed that she didn’t get to do that scene), Satsuki kicked ass in the confined space of train car, and…
Rin and Kohaku were attacked by zombies, lost their shirts in the struggle (this was bound to start yet another spirited family discussion), and started battling their way through the industrial park with aluminum bats in hand.
Rin resisted the temptation to run from the room. She also fought the urge to check the reactions of her family members. She decided to stare at a wall instead.
Finally, the big fight scene (also interspersed with clips of the band playing – this time mostly guitar solos), then the shot of the band walking away from the carnage: heads held high and looking like total badasses, her hand in…
Oh.
Oh no.
How had nobody pointed out she and Kohaku had been walking hand-in-hand in that take? That was not in the script. That was not in the script!
“Okay that’s it, that’s the video. Hope you enjoyed it… BYE.” Blushing bright red, Rin turned and ran off to her room, followed only by the sound of her uncle’s cackling.
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saltysatellite804 · 4 years
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I don’t really know why I’m writing this (to vent maybe?) or where I’m gonna go with this post but I’m just really depressed lately. And I need some sort of outlet.
When I first joined fandom space in 2013-14, I wrote almost exclusively non-sexual content. I carried a lot of homophobia then (I was young, hadn’t been exposed to queerness, and I’m still stuck in the same conservative hellhole now as I was then, but….). Anyway, I felt like I had no right to approach kinky or gay content. And straight sexual content had little appeal to me.
I fell in love with an m/m pairing.
I felt I had no right to engage with it though. So, I didn’t. For a couple years anyway. I think 2016 was when I finally attempted to write for it. It wasn’t a bright and happy and pure  pairing, but I felt I did it justice. At the time I secretly read dark fic on the down-low because I was ashamed of my enjoyment of it. I went to great lengths to justify my interest in it… But also felt like I was Ruined™. I had it pounded into my brain that the only Morally Good sexual content was between m/f and was only okay when they were in True Love and Soulmates (basically my mothers’ beliefs).
So, I made connections with others who liked the m/m pairing. Found out others also liked dark content and talked openly about it, engaged with it. I decided to dip my toes in that water of darker stuff. The people in these spaces were far kinder to me than my family would be if they knew about my truths… And these dark stories? Helped me relieve some dark things in my mind. And no, I don’t want to elaborate. That’s my business. It was a lot of fun and very cathartic and good for my mental health.
Finally, I was comfortable with myself, and who I wanted to be in fandom. Shortly after, I realized I wasn’t straight.
I started out on ff.net forums where I loved to discuss story thoughts and ideas with others. After getting into gay content, I wound up on discord servers for my pairing, with spaces that were much more predominately queer.
My recent hyperfixation landed me in borderlands with rhack. I see this as the point where I finally embraced that I like dark shit and that it didn’t make me an evil person. For a year, it was pretty fun, good. I knew of anti sentiments but they were small and whispy and everyone rolled their eyes at it….for the most part anyway. Maybe see some idiot in the tag like…once a month.
Recently. Though.
I can’t look for rhack content anymore. And I definitely won’t ever venture into general fandom. Trying only landed me tons of people calling me an abuse and rape apologist and everything else you can imagine.
All over FICTION.
Fiction has been dark since the dawn of human imagination! And y’all are shouting this from a position of a game that was created by a capitalist hell-company that made a game that treats violence and dark themes in a light-hearted joking manner. (this isn’t a jab at the game, just at the hypocrisy. But fuck gearbox’s CEO anyway)
I like to think I have a fairly thick skin. But I still get a rush of adrenaline and fear and anger when I see this shit. I can’t deny that.
I tried to stay in my own lane. Live and let live. But…
Tumblr banned the kinda content I post. So I went to the last space there were rhack shippers still posting. Twitter.
I regret that so much.
I just wanted to share my content lol.
Okay so…block and move on. I have. I’ve been blocking like crazy since I first seen this shit but I still, STILL can’t fucking escape this shit. Every time I search for any content, I there’s a good chance I’ll see it. I LITERALLY HAVE TO MENTALLY PREP MYSELF BEFORE I GO LOOKING FOR CONTENT TO BE READY TO COPE WITH THE SHIT I’M GONNA SEE. Worse, worse, worse, was when I started seeing this shit from the major rhack content creators in fandom. People who get tons of love and reblogs and comments and kudos and make amazing and thoughtful works-
It’s so fucked, y’all.
I don’t know. Maybe I am fucked in the head for liking dark stuff? Everyone seems to think so but for like…ten people. Do I really know? I do know I’ve never once wanted someone to befall sexual harm irl. Or any kind of harm… Idk. It’s…confusing. The dark things were always personal anyway.
But the events of the last couple weeks were the worst experience I’ve had in my entire time in fandom. Twice, people venting about antis were attacked in our very own rhack server for being pro-kink and pro-expression. Just last week, found out Twitter is moving towards a porn ban. The amount of content I like, has dwindled. And the rhack community is moving firmly towards antism.
And fuck I can’t take it anymore. There’s no safe places left in fandom for people who like “unhealthy” fiction (which is anything that makes another person uncomfortable these days). I left my problematic ship servers because of the attacks and having to see shit from the content creators who hate my guts. I left because I’m so fucking depressed and I can’t interact anymore without wondering if the people I’m talking to hate my guts or not just because I wrote Bad Thing™.
Actually, what might be worse, is the rise of “it’s just an opinion” about anti attitudes.
Yeah, calling me an abuse apologist and fetishizing freak is just an opinion. Sure. Fuck off.
Fandom was where I went to escape the shitty life I have. And now I don’t even have that anymore. I feel so rudderless now and I don’t know what to do with myself. I miss all the good times. I miss my friends. Miss my passion and happiness.
Feels like there’s nowhere to go.
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