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hwanchaesong · 4 days

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Altschmerz Teaser

a/n: imma give you a sneak peek for now to give y'all some idea about my works (i'm terribly sorry bc like i said, i type so slow idek why and my brain lags every 5 mins) this is an apology i can manage for the mean time 😭😭 pls do not hesitate to tell me, whatever means, if you wanted to be added to the taglist, tysm! 🥀✨

genre: angst, fluff, smut, university au, part of the ATEEZ Minisode Series

It is a good day to live and breathe like any normal person.

The weather is actually nice, a little cloudy with a nice touch of spring air, the skies are bluer than Taylor Swift's eyes and said singer's song titled 'The Man' is blasting through your earphones. You feel vigorous, your pristine white uniform for your medical course gives you a certain glow. Your classes went well, acing all of the assessments without much studying done, oh, truly a lucky day for you.

Then all hell breaks loose when your lovely friend, Felix, spills the tea during lunch at the cafeteria, his thick aussie accent that you usually love screeched like a racing car's tire in your ears.

"I heard that Kim Hongjoong of the music department has a crush on you."

"What the fuck?"

He held his hands up, explaining that he heard it while passing by their building. The way people narrated the 'girl' sounds exactly like you, and you couldn't help but roll your eyes at the information as Felix lists out the descriptions that caught his ears.

'She's from the Allied of Health and Sciences department.'

'She's really intelligent and kind, well, that's what the professors had said.'

'A fluent speaker! Shy at times but really bubbly with her friends.'

"I did say that I want some spice in my boring college life but not like this!" you exclaimed, stabbing a kimchi with your fork and aggressively eating it, the spice further heating your head up.

"Not like what?" just then, your other friend Lily, sat down beside you with her own tray of food.

"Felix here is spreading some fake news, he said that someone named Kim Hongjoong has a crush on me." you explained, side eyeing the freckled man before continuing to eat the remainder of your lunch.

"Oh yeah, he does. Some people are already shipping you together."

Then you choked at Lily's nonchalant reply, making her grimace and pat your back as an attempt to soothe your burning pharynx.

You did not expect her to agree at all, and you made sure to tell her that with the way you glared at her.

"He's not that bad, yes he is a music major like Hee-" you stare at her hard, not wanting to hear that specific name. Lily clears her throat and rephrases her sentence, "It is true that he is a music major, but you don't have to lump them all in one category. He's nice, my cousin knows him."

Felix nods, gulping his food before speaking, "Plus, it's just a crush. It's not like he's gonna court you all of a sudden."

They have a point, you don't have to make a big deal out of it. Besides, it's a rumor, most of the time it's plain bullshit.

You need to calm down. You're having a great day, a great start of the semester and you'll be damned if it'll be ruined this early.

Then the students at the library squealed like dying squirrels when they saw you enter. The other music majors at the university gates gave you a wink, hell, even one of the freshmen congratulated you and even said, 'You and Hongjoong-hyung will look good together!'

You mustered a smile throughout the ordeals, opting to finish the day peacefully like how you started it. Whatever happened today shall pass.

Well.. it should be but then you find yourself stalking the man's social media. You have already found his facebook, twitter, instagram, even his fucking youtube account (he has uploaded some guitar covers and you have to admit he's great at playing the instrument.)

You could defend yourself and blame curiosity later, but now, you'll indulge in some information that you could find on the internet. Surely you haven't seen him before, his face is unfamiliar, heck, you don't even know his name, not until your friends brought it up today.

Kim Hongjoong. A music major born on November 7, plays a lot of musical instruments, can write lyrics and is also a good producer. He sings, raps and dances (he was tagged in a dance cover on instagram, courtesy of someone named Park Seonghwa.) A passionate one in his career you assume as you watch one of his vlogs on facebook. You also listened to his recordings posted in his accounts, and you have to give him applause for his aesthetic instagram account.

He takes nice photos of his surroundings, even himself, and he does know how to make himself look good. He definitely knows the colors that suit him, outfits that make him stand out yet fully blended in the crowd if he wanted to. His hair is also unique, seems healthy despite the dyes that had stayed there for months before being layered by another one.

You lie on your bed, thinking that maybe the man himself isn't that bad. That you may have judged him early prior to knowing him. A fault on your part but it's not like you're going to meet or get to know him or the likes, you were simply curious about him and now that you have seen that his surface isn't dry nor rotten, your curiosity shall now die before the cat inside you does... and it's 3 in the fucking morning and you have 7 am classes so really, you'll still die either way.

What you did not expect though, as you wake up at 6:00 am, getting ready with max speed, was a notification that had you stumbling over your feet.

'Hongstagram has followed you back!'

Follow you back what? Since when did you follow him on his instagram?

You were careful! Very careful in what you were clicking and all that shit, not wanting to leave a trace of your visit in his social media accounts but you were so fucking wrong. You could blame the fuzzy feeling of drowsiness but you were so sure that you didn't click anything out of the ordinary.

Fuck your life.

That was your motto all day long, going as far as being dramatic with your friends during lunch break. Rambling about how he'll think you're a creep for stalking him or, or, how he'll think that you're interested in him when you swear to every rat out there that you're most certainly not.

It was horrible, except for the fact that you gotta eat coffee jelly for dinner because your father bought tons during a sale in the grocery and he couldn't resist his sweet tooth ass to buy some desserts.

Maybe you can sleep all of this away, yes, one night of beauty sleep will rejuvenate all of your worries except when Kim Hongjoong himself messaged you.

You jumped up from your bed when you accidentally tapped the notification on the upper half of your phone, due to your persistent tapping all over the screen because fuck that chop chop filter in tiktok (you're pretty sure you can cut that cucumber up to 200), opening the message and you contemplated whether to left it on read or be polite enough to reply.

You chose the latter, not really wanting for your name to be tarnished if this Hongjoong guy goes around and says that you're a snob.

Hongstagram: Hey Y/N! Sorry to disturb you, but may I talk to you tomorrow?

You: Good evening Hongjoong! I'm sorry my sched is kind of packed tomorrow, you can tell it now though.

Hongstagram: It's kind of embarrassing to say it through dms.

Oh my god. No fucking way. He's gonna confess.

Hongstagram: But okay, here goes nothing.

Hongstagram: I heard that you're one of the best students, so, could I borrow your notes for History? I've been meaning to ask you this for a while now because Mr. Lee talks about you every time he's in class and tbh, I couldn't care less about the minor subject. But still, I need to pass it in order to advance soo..

He was yapping so hard and you're ridiculing him inside your head but, the guy needs help and you're not some kind of witch with a stone heart. So you, being the kindest soul out there, decided to help him out.

You agreed to give him your notes and print-outs, but you didn't reply to him when he sent you a time and place for the meet-up.

Imagine his surprise when you arrived at the said café, on time and with a big, thick envelope in your hands, sitting in front of him without any trace of hesitance.

"Hi." you greeted him calmly, offering a handshake which he accepted with a smile, "Y/N here. Nice meeting you Hongjoong."

"Likewise. Thank you for entertaining my request." he replied, short but enthusiastic nonetheless.

Still, the awkward air is suffocating you and thank god the coffee and pastries can provide you some distraction because you truly cannot do this without going crazy.

Whatever confidence you had before was some kind of fallacy because you're a nervous wreck in front of this man. You're suddenly hit by the realization that this is the same guy that was rumored to have a crush on you and now you're sitting in this coffee shop with him, alone.

If someone from your university sees you two, that will surely cause a ruckus and your friends will probably bombard you with questions.

"Thank you for this, by the way." Hongjoong speaks up and it brings you back to reality, this time, you took a moment to take him in.

He really is fashionable, you'll give him that. His previously pink hair had turned into burgundy, he pairs his denims with leather better than anybody, and his color scheme for today is on point.

"You're most certainly welcome, I-"

"Listen, I know you know the rumors."

He cuts you off, rude. But he's getting straightforward now, nice.

Then you held a breath, is he actually confessing? If he did, how should you react? How should you answer?

You gulped, your palms getting sweaty and you couldn't help the tiny bit of excitement that coursed through your veins.

Your first ever confession after your dark, thunderous days of romance.

"Yes, I heard about it." you answered truthfully, giving him a small smile which he purposely avoided. This baffled you, shouldn't he be happy that you're giving him the time of your day?

"I'm sorry for the inconvenience but my friends are idiots. It's not you that I like." he admits, biting his lower lip and cautiously peers over your confused form.

You almost sputtered your coffee out, the sweetness of your iced hazelnut compensates well to the bitterness that was starting to spread out.

You faked a cough, sporting a feigned understanding countenance before asking for more elaboration, "If not me, then who is?"

He beams at you giddily and his answer almost made you want to leave.. almost.

"It's your friend, the cute one that you always help out during 21st Century Literature, Sakura."

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taglist:

@hyuckilstan @gwenchwana @minkiflwr @yeosangsbiceps @charreddonuts @justyoonsworld @hwadump @marievllr-abg

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ilovejoo · 1 year

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｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

when you’re scared of thunder; enhypen

word count: 1.6k warnings: n/a? gn!reader a/n: THERE WAS THUNDER THE OTHER DAY AND I HATED IT SM so i just had to write this 😞 california was flooding that is so insane to me.

masterlist!

heeseung

he does his best to distract you with his voice, his actions, his kisses, his face... he's the best comedian, the best singer- he becomes the best at anything if it means it makes you feel better like a true ace

"it's okay, hee, i know you were excited for this..." you bit your lip as he frowned at the uncomfortable state you were in. the two of you were at a long-awaited date at some outdoor cafe that thankfully had a roof over the head, covering you from the drizzle. however, the rain was not a problem: the thunder was.

he couldn't stand to watch you flinch at every boom while the two of you were supposed to be having a fun, cheerful, thunder-free time.

“if they make you feel all shaken up, then why would we stay?” he pouted. he covered your ears with his hands from across the table, but you waved him away, despite the tears forming in your eyes.

man, you really hated thunder.

"y/n, you're crying." you looked up at his worried eyes. "let me take you away, we can always come back here some other day.." he grasped your wrist and pulled you, rushing to someplace quieter. he gave himself the mission of distracting you, muffling the sound with his hands again.

he softly hummed one of your favorite songs, not knowing whether or not you could hear it under the safety of his hands. he hummed anyway. seeing that the thunder didn't seem to be ending, he hoped it was helping.

as soon as you got home, his new mission was to make you feel better (he succeeded).

jay

bro is actually so attentive :( he takes note of your likes/dislikes throughout the years he's known you, which includes your fear of thunder, so he's prepared for this kind of moment

already knowing how you were with loud noises, at the sight of a thunderstorm coming he knew to be prepared. despite the heavy rain, he ran out the door to his house, headed straight for yours.

you were huddled up on the couch, not even knowing about the upcoming thunderstorm, when you got a bunch of knocks on the door. you opened it to be greeted with the sight of a drenched boyfriend.

"jay- what the hell?"

“thunder’s coming,” he said, quickly rummaging through his bag to find his noise-cancelling headphones as he caught his breath. "i know how much you hate thunder; i didn't want you to be alone." as if on cue, thunder went off, and you grasped tight onto jay’s sleeve. he stoked your hair to try to calm you down with one hand, trying to simultaneously pull the headphones over your ears with the other.

“don’t worry, you’re safe, okay?” he mouthed, and you gave him the biggest hug, not even caring that he was soaked.

jake

- drops what he's doing to make you feel safe; absolutely cannot bear to see you so distressed, so he'll smother you with kisses, watch your favorite cartoons: anything you want to give you comfort

the car window was splattered with raindrops, and the windshield wipers couldn't seem to catch a break. you were jake's favorite (only) passenger, and though his eyes were on the road, he was listening intently to what you had to say.

"it rains every time we go to mcdonald's, i think its a curse," you joked, and jake eagerly nodded in agreement. "like i-" thunder clapped in the distance, and you stopped what you were saying.

".. like you..? like you what, sweetheart?" the sound admittedly overwhelmed you to the point where you couldn't register what jake was asking you.

"um.. like i.." more thunder. concerned at your lack of ability to respond, your boyfriend furrowed his eyebrows.

"are you okay? what is it? the thunder?" he couldn't help asking all these questions- he just wanted you to feel safe. you nod, mumbling something about how thunder always made you anxious. he quickly pulled over to the nearest parking lot and as soon as the gear shifted into park, he reached his arm over into a comforting embrace. "it'll pass, y/n; i'll be here until it does."

he kisses your cheek, to which you somewhat laugh at. hearing this, in relief he takes it as a sign of approval and suddenly your face, eyelids, the tip of your nose, and of course, lips, are being covered by his lips.

sunghoon

seeing you scared makes him panic too- he doesn't know what to do, he doesn't know how to act. all he knows is that he wants you to feel at ease, and he'll do his best for that to happen.

"it's raining." sunghoon reached a hand out from under the shade structure, feeling the raindrops on his palm. you rolled your eyes.

"no way," you said sarcastically. "way to notice the obvious!" he playfully hit your side when a boom went off from somewhere nearby, and in response you jumped with fear. originally, not missing the way you flinched involuntarily at the thunder, he let out a laugh.

it was almost awkwardly silent for a good second or two, save for the rain in the background- he had no clue what to do, and you were trying to calm yourself down.

you admit, it definitely could have been humorous- even yourself would have laughed if you weren't shaking. but then he glanced at your eyes, concerned for how genuinely shaken up you were at the noise. his smile slightly faltered with worry, and he wordlessly grabbed your hand. he gave it a squeeze, not really knowing what to say but wanting to offer you comfort regardless.

he never let go of your hand once, he takes care of you in this way.

sunoo

he knows what to do, he knows how to comfort you. he uses this knowledge to his advantage- soon you forget you were even scared.

having a boyfriend who was so attentive of your needs meant that he noticed when you were in distress. his brows furrowed with worry seeing how much the weather outside bothered you. the sound of the thunder and the strikes of lightning freaked you out, and he couldn’t bear to see you so scared.

you were curled up on the couch, hands over your ears. the sight broke his heart. he put down the phone in his hands and gently grabbed your wrists, helping you up.

“let’s go somewhere quieter, hm?” his eyes told you how worried he was for you, and you gave him a smile.

“okay.” he gave you a hug when you got up, and it immediately made you feel better. you buried yourself in his chest for just a moment, basking in his comfort and warmth. feeling how you somewhat relaxed in his arms, he rubbed the back of your head with his hand soothingly, letting you know he's there for you.

jungwon

because of his caring nature, he tends to care for you all the time, including the times when you're scared out of your wits. he notices your discomfort almost immediately, and he'll act from there

a little known fact about you was that thunder was not your best friend, and seeing how you repeatedly jumped at every thundering boom going off, jungwon quickly learned this as well.

the two of you were hanging out with a larger group of people, but jungwon made sure to constantly keep an eye on you as that was just his second nature. he noticed that you seemed a little freaked out while drawing yourself away from the conversation, biting your lip and fidgeting with your fingers.

his head tilted at why you looked so panicked, and then it hit him: it was the noise. upon this realization, his hands went for your ears, covering them the best he could.

"are you okay?" he said into your ear, his voice low. the thunder went off again, and your shaking hands reflexively shot on top of his, trying to cover your ears even further. taking this as a no, he excused you both from the group and made his way over to his friend's bedroom, the quietest part of the house.

he pulled you closer to offer his comfort, and he stayed like that until the weather was completely clear.

niki

he notices more than he lets on. though it may initially seem like he isn't the type to do so, he takes the best care of you, even if it may be in his own way

“someone just dropped something,” niki said, laughing at how your hands rushed to cover your ears out of panic. he pat your head, still laughing. you took in a shaky breath, however, which made his laughter falter. “are you scared?” he asked, looking a bit concerned, and you brushed it off.

“it’s okay,” you said, and he let it slide. however, you jumped at every loud noise, more than most people would. when the two of you went for a late night walk and someone closed a window harshly nearby, your arms immediately shielded your face, shaking. a balloon popped at a birthday party, and you screamed.

from then on, he learned with how observant he is, that you were sensitive to loud noises. so when he saw a thunderstorm on the day's weather agenda, the first thing he did was prepare a little "thunderproof cave" in his room for you, complete with pillows, blankets, music, and of course, himself.

as soon as he was done, he dashed off excitedly to find you with your eyes shut and ears plugged. sighing a little at the sight, he wanted nothing more than for you to feel better.

"yah- y/n! come here." he tugged your arm and led you to the homemade heaven he set up for you. knowing why he did this, immediately you crashed into his arms in a hug.

"thanks riki."

｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

thank you for reading! here's my masterlist!

taglist! send an ask to be added: @jaysbiceps

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radio-to-trenchcoat-demons · 5 months

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listening to Wilbur's new album....WOWZA love it sm, I love how the album cover is the same colour pallete as Your city gave me asthma!! big fan of around the pomegranate

FUCK

YES

i REALLY REALLY REALLY love around the pomegranate as well

my two other favorites gotta be Amazon Standing Lamp and Melatonin 130

i fugging RESONATE with the meaning of melatonin 130, it hits so close to home ;-;

but MATE, the FOCKING TRANSITIONSSS

Wilbur always did say he never liked that smooth, same consistent vibe of a normal song, like, he liked to change it up, mix it around. Thats what i truly like in his music, i picked that trait up in a few of my own songs but HEE, HE does it best.

brilliant fucking album, love your attention to detail, VERY closely related with the color scheme of ycgma :3

#al was here!#hector estaba aqui!#proceed with caution at my blog #ask #moot moot #cowboy moot #wilbur #mammalian sighing reflex #AHHHHHHfbrehjfberhbferhgbgbrhgrsgbs GREAT #ALBUM

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estradasphere · 3 months

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listened to the new vacon album!!!!! (i had to make a japanese spotify account cuz it doesnt release in the US until midnight orz) my thoughts on it below, mostly copypasted from when i was liveblogging it on discord lol

HATED JOHN - regret version

i'm not sure if i like this version of hated john better than the original hmmm.... his voice is certainly more dynamic but it doesnt feel like he's used to singing like that haha. a lot of voice effects being used too. i guess it's not better or worse it's just different p: instrumental sounded identical to the original to me but i'll have to relisten, i wasnt paying much attention to it

actually, he sounded like he was influenced by symaG's cover of hated john

2. Woodpecker

2nd song is woodpecker which was the one single he dropped so ive heard it plenty before. still a banger

3. ElecTravel - choo-choo version

electravel starts with a train chugging noise lol he's going all in with the toybox album theme

otherwise sounds pretty damn close to the original so far. vocal delivery is sliiiiightly different. actually i think i like this version better

man he still has that problem where his vocals kinda get drowned out by the instrumental sometimes though

OH he added an extra verse! kinda

4. TOY CHEESE

ok first original song we havent heard before. toy cheese-- WHAT THE FUCK

ok nvm i was just thrown off by the sample at the beginning. this is fun

…this literally just sounds like a jingle for a toy commercial. i think that's what it's sampling

what is he dooiiiiinnngggggg i cant deny that his flow is really good though

5. モーニング・ベーコン - tee-hee version

morning bacon time!!!

yeah he's getting drowned out by the instrumental during the kinda whispery parts. i dont remember if that even happens in the original. ill definitely have to relisten to them and compare afterwards

but yeah his voice is absolutely more dynamic on the album

oh seems like he's changing up the lyrics a bit too

i think i just heard his mic peak 😭

instrumental seemed the same

6. D-D-Donuts

second new original song time

this sounds like a childrens commercial again. vacon i know how you can make boatloads of money just license this to hasbro

very catchy though…

his flow is so GOOD

7. 微熱パレイド

BINETSU PARADE YAAAYY i wonder if saegusa redid her vocals too?

sounds like she did

still whispery but sounds a little clearer to me

absolutely whimsical album this is. the silliest hiphop ive ever heard. dude just wants to rap about food and toys and have a good time i can respect that

8. Afro Man - hold tight version

AFRO MAN-- dude you're too close to the mic

how did he get Less professional. wait thats the problem. these sound like first drafts not remixes. i mean theyre still good songs but

hes getting drowned out by the instrumental again too ahhhhh like yeah his beats are really good but be more confident man

9. Xanadisco

xanadisco… is he gonna rap about drugs please rap about drugs thatd be so fucking funny

PIANO!

ohhhhhhh i really love this instrumental

WAIT THIS RULES

yep this is my favorite song on the album so far no notes

why is it called xanadisco though. its not really disco…

👏👏👏

10. Be-li-va Voyager

another new original now

THIS IS ALSO REALLY GOOD!! why did he save his best songs for the latter half of the album

just say what you waaaant cmoonn~~~

i love the occasional turntable scratch he throws in there lol

11. Love my JANE - repaired version

love my jane… sounds identical to the original so far except the guitar is a little louder?

yeah it sounds like he didnt even rerecord the vocals he just remastered the instrumental slightly?

oh nvm there's like 1 bar of new vocal delivery in here thats it

still a great song. he didn't really Need to do anything to it besides adjust the mixing a little. so he did not

12. RUSTY DRUM BLUES

last song. this sounds like a track from sonic spinball

oh my god it really does HAHAHAHA

not a bad thing. sonic spinball ost slaps

not sure if i like the vocal effects he's using but the delivery itself is good

ooh when most of the instruments drop out for a sec its pretty groovy actually

yeah he's almost belting now haha thats definitely not something he wouldve done like 5 years ago. good for him for working on his voice

ough... definitely sounds a little overwrought at times though

also there was a brief moment of silence and i could just baaaaarely hear him breathe that was awesome actually

fade out aaannnddd album over

#it's a bit rough around the edges but i liked it #afaik vacon does Everything himself no external mixmastering or anything so its understandably not perfect hahaha #but there's plenty of nice ideas in there #a few tracks i was meh on but also a few i really adored #vaconposting #im still gonna throw my money at him when the cd drops (AND SHIRTS? HE WAS TALKING ABOUT MAKING SHIRTS?)

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anotherimaginesaccount · 2 years

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ENHYPEN as songs on my playlist:

Heesung as I like me better by Lauv:

Okay so I know what you're thinking, Lauv, how cliche, BUT HEAR ME OUT

Hee really seems like the kind of person who would enjoy a laid back relationship where he could just talk about anything and do anything and have it count as a date y'know?

He also wants to feel good about himself when he's with his s/o and I feel like that's important to him.

He values security and comfort and his s/o is where he'd look to for that.

Overall the comfy vibes and the sweet meaning of the song remind me of Heesung

Jay as Greater than Gatsby by Elizabeth Gerardi:

First of all, Jay gives husband vibes, which fits in with the lyrics of the song

On top of that, he seems like someone who wouldn't mind chasing after someone he genuinely loves, and once he decides he wants you, you're it for him. Like he will not look anywhere else.

He also gives overachieving boyfriend vibes. Like he'd go above and beyond even in the initial stages of your relationship, without even meaning too.

Like he just remembers everything and does the sweetest things, not because he has to, but because he wants to.

Overall the guy described in the song really reminds me of Jay.

Jake as La da Dee by Cody Simpson:

Okay so Jake gives me simp vibes.

Once he likes you, he really really really likes you. Like he can't stop thinking about you and he'd probably ramble about you too everyone around him.

Another one who gives me loyal vibes. Once he likes you, nothing will change his mind. He may flirt before being with you, but I once he's serious about you, nobody else would really affect him.

also feel like he'd just unconsciously see you in every little thing, even other girls.

So yeah in conclusion, Jake needs to cover this song

Sunghoon as Love me like that by Sam Kim:

Hear me out on this one. Sunghoon is definitely confident in himself, but even then he has his days and his struggles,

I feel like he's really good at hiding it, and since he's so used to hiding it, he gets drained easyy

and I feel like one of his fears is that people will leave once he opens up.

Which is why it's important to him that his partner can deal with all of him, including his fears and insecurities. He might take a while to open up but just be patient with him.

Overall, this song seems like a song Sunghoon would add to his playlist

Yang Jungwon as You belong with me by Taylor Swift:

This decision was totally not influenced by the amazing series written by @missmadwoman which you should check out.

No but I feel like Jungwon would need a lot of time to fall for a person, just because of his caring nature and attention to detail (except in the case of injang).

He'd also take forever to realize his feelings, and once he does he'd want to confess to get it out of the way.

He would also look for someone who he could confide in about everything, especially because he's a leader at such a young age.

So overall, Yang Jungwon is an oblivious idiot in need of someone who gives him love and affection

Kim Sunoo as The Only Exception by Paramore:

Okay this makes so much sense in my head so bear with me.

Sunoo seems like someone who won't give up on the person he likes even if they don't believe in love.

He'd do his best to show them what love is actually supposed to be like and how it's not supposed to hurt.

And in that process, he'd prove himself to be different to whoever hurt the person he loves in the past. He's the sunshines in this grumpy sunshine dynamic

So overall Kim Sunoo is just the sweetest and most determined person ever.

Nishimura Riki as Stuck with you by Ariana Grande and Justin Bieber:

So Ni-Ki would be an absolute menace to his partner.

Like these 2 would be bickering so much that everyone around them would question whether they were dating or arch enemies.

But at the end of the day, he's incredibly loyal and loving. Arguing is just his love language in a way.

Like Heesung, he'd also enjoy just staying in with his partner and relaxing instead of going out and doing fun activities. Mainly cause he gets cuddles but you did not hear that from me.

Overall a relationship with Ni-Ki would consist of annoying each other and then being each other's home in a way.

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seungily · 2 years

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TANGLED ATTACHMENT LHS, PSH

synopsis: sunghoon had broken up a month ago and needed time before you both actually started dating, he told you to stay aware of his bandmate, lee heeseung but what happens if you grow attached to him and find out your ‘boyfriend’s dirty secret despite you both loving eachother?

pairings: park sunghoon x afab reader x lee heeseung

genre: angst, toxic love, love triangle, slow burn, slight fluff?

warnings: toxic love, mentions of cigarette, tension, one night stands,

inspired by: @//parkjaycult ‘s “BOUNDARY_LESS PSH” and heavily inspired by ‘Friends - Chase Atlantic’

author’s note:: I RE EDITED IT HOPEFULLY ITS BETTER AND EASIER TO READ NOW 🧍🏻‍♀️

there he lies, right beside you. he looked miserable with swollen blood-red eyes and dark circles, his cheeks were tear-stained he had marks supposedly hickies all over his neck. Despite being his assistant and manager, you had no idea what he does or where he goes after 7 PM but always received a message from him after 11 PM to either pick him up from a random club or open the door because he was freezing, despite you never wanting to you always do let him in. I mean why won't you? He kept you accompanied through your lonely apartment. This was another reason you had a small minimalistic apartment you didn't want to feel lonely.

Sunghoon on the other hand had broken up with his girlfriend of two years, Hyun-hee. You weren't sure why would anyone ever leave this perfect man? But who were you to say anything throughout the following 3 months Sunghoon continued to vent to you about his now ex but never mentioned the real reason why they fell apart. Regardless you comforted him and let him stay. Enhypen's manager never really minded him staying with you as long as you both did everything behind the scenes and Sunghoon was never late for his schedules. It led to the point you knew his smell, the time he'll text you and what his comfort foods were, can we say the same about Sunghoon knowing you? I guess not but the way Sunghoon would sometimes snuggle close to you deep in his sleep it made you think if you guys were just friends or more?

Back to the present, your alarm rang waking Sunghoon up while you keep staring at his neck about the hickies or scars. "Is something wrong?" the boy asked rubbing his eyes while sitting up. "N-no you should freshen up and return to the dorms I'll drive you there" he only nodded in response and walked towards the washroom. You on the other hand just sat on the bed in denial you didn't know how to feel you knew this needed to stop before you grew more attached but you couldn't just run away.

After dropping Sunghoon at the dorms, Heeseung began to approach you "Shall we go?" the black-headed guy asked politely, "Huh?" "Oh did Jihun (manager) Hyung not inform you?" you were beyond confused when you suddenly received the message from Jihun himself.

From Jihun (Manager-nim)

> YN! You have to take care of Heeseung's schedule as Nayeon is not well and I'm busy.

*sends schedule planner*

"YN you're still here?" Sunghoon's voice returns you to Earth "Oh.. Manager Jihun just texted me, I have to take care of Heeseung's schedule as his manager is sick and your schedule is empty today" YN said "Oh ok" he said almost upset. As you were about to leave with Heeseung, Sunghoon suddenly hugged you, "don't get too close with Heeseung I'll miss you" that somehow gave you butterflies even though this was a common skinship between the both of you, maybe his words were doing the effect but why did he even tell you to be careful of Heeseung? He seemed amazing even though you didn't know him that much. You quickly hugged him back and started walking with Heeseung beside you as it must've been awkward for him.

You start the car and start driving to a studio where he is supposed to record a song cover "Off my face" by Justin Beiber, it was probably coincidental that you absolutely love that song and you were pretty excited to hear him sing it. He was extremely polite and both of you made some small talk, you were mostly closest to the maknae line and of course Sunghoon so it felt awkward at first. "Soo.. it seems that you and Sunghoon are pretty close are you guys.." "FRIENDS! yes ah-hah! " you say it in the most unconvincing way but he seems to believe it for the time being while you apologize for being loud he laughs it off and switches the topic as he could see you were quite uncomfortable. Soon enough you both arrived "Do you want to come inside?" He asked while taking the bag he decided to carry after losing his only AirPods that were in his pockets "Am I allowed to?" you ask while unbuckling the seatbelt. And here you are staring at his face while listening to his angelic vocals he maintained eye contact with you looking at the camera from time to time but looking at you as well. It somehow gives you butterflies even if you didn't know him that well. He stared at you throughout the "In love with you" part and you wouldn't lie, you felt yourself felt.

After finishing his schedule with him and dropping him off at the dorms, you went back home and decided to scroll through your notifications and schedules, it was 10:57 PM you knew he'd dm you anytime now but to your surprise, he didn't?it shocked you but you shrugged it off and just thought maybe he won't come today? even if it was unusual..

*ring ring* the bell rang as YN got up to open the door. "Open up I know you're awake," He said as if he'd breakdown any moment in a drunk as fuck voice. You open the door and he crashes down on you, completely hugging you with both of his arms and keeping his head in your nape taking in your fresh smell. "why would she leave me, was I not enough" he said in a droopy sad voice almost falling down as you carry him to sit on your couch and continue comforting him till 1 AM or until he was asleep, yes you took care of him you knew he deserved better, you just wanted him to feel loved.You took a closer look at his state, his hair looked freshly washed and fluffy eventhough it was messy, it looked as if he washed up and then went to the club, why? you'll never understand this man.he still had the scars from yesterday and maybe more? or were you just seeing things? Either way you made sure to comfort him and made him feel loved, he always appreciated these actions towards him and would often cry and tell you how much he appreciates it, you really love his vulnerable side but t hurts you to see his tears sometimes.

You woke up feelings entangled in the sheets with another figure in your bed, that being sung hoon, you brushed hair off of his face when he started to wake up thanks to the sun being brighter than usual because you didn't pull the curtains, he holds you tighter in his embrace as he whispers a quite good morning and thank you for last night, that was enough to make you melt. If anyone saw you both in this state, they'd most probably think you both are dating, you both cuddled for a while before the blonde head spoke up again "how was it with Heeseung? Did he say anything? you thought for a while before shaking your head and said "just small talk and.." "and?" "nothing that special" you lied but you didn't want to make things awkward so that's how it was before you tried to get up but sat down again when Sunghoon pulled you towards him, he held you close to his chest you could hear his heart beating and he probably could too considering how fast your heart was beating.

"Let's cuddle for a while," he said in his deep morning voice which you were used to, he snuggled closer to your neck while you couldn't even move. "Y-you have to mc today r-remember?" you mentally curse yourself for stuttering. He groans but lets you go, you exhale as you both freshen up and you decide to drive him back to the dorms, he adjusts himself in the passengers' seat as you began to drive. "I'm sorry for yesterday, I wanted to spend some time with you yesterday but-" you cut him off, "it's fine" you feel him smile through the corner of your eyes as he reaches down to your hand gently squeezing it. These small interactions meant a lot to you as they made you feel wanted. You loved it. You loved him.

As you reached the dorms, Jihun informed you that you had to take care of Heeseung's schedule today as well even if you were aSunghoon's manager, the reason was obvious. Netizens were making rumors about Sunghoon and you dating, you were pretty enough to be an idol so speculations were that you're a trainee dating him so it was understandable what Jihun was trying to do but Sunghoon was definitely not pleased but you didn't mind because you were comfortable enough around him.

The whole day was fun with Heeseung , after finishing his photoshoot he took you to a cafe and now you both were sitting on a hill just looking at Seoul from afar. Sunghoon and Heeseung were different, extremely different. While you mostly had home "dates" with Sunghoon, Heeseung took you around the city into places you never even saw or knew. Both of them were equally fun.

Heeseung broke the comforting silence with his question "Soo YN.. were you raised in Seoul?" you just dryly chuckle "No... but I always wondered how it'd be to live in Seoul and that's how i ended up here, I'm from a small island beside Jeju I came to Seoul to become a therapist or psychiatrist but I guess some dreams don't come true" you looked down and brought your knees to your chest. "Why did you suddenly become a manager, I mean it is something comepletely different from a therapist or medical field " he asked again "Mm.. I dont know.. it was because of my mother, my studies were going well until she fell sick and needed money for her medicines so I just took a job that I found" you suddenly chuckle feeling chilled by the weather, "Is she still?..." you shake your head "no.. I lost her" you say, your eyes now getting glossy. Heeseung got closer and hugged you tight "It's not your fault, you tried and id everything you could. I'm so sorry" You started crying pathetically in his embrace hugging him back, you lost your mother recently yet tried being strong, nobody had comforted you like this. None of your relatives lived with you so you kept blaming yourself. The night went on by you explaining on how alone you feel in this city and how Seoul wasn't the place for you. This felt different, new and you liked it. Sunghoon normally talked about his feelings to you and you never really minded because you wanted to protect and love him but you didn't kow how it felt to recieve the same love. Until tonight.

It soon got pretty late and you drove Heeseung to his apartment instead of the dorm as most of them were with their familes or in their apartments. You realised that the key normally stays with his manager who was sick or Jihun, Heeeng had called Jihun but he wasn't picking up. You couldn't just leave him. "YN? If you want you can go home, I'll just stay at a hotel." he said breaking your thoughts. "No no what if sasaengs find you? How about you just stay at my house for tonight?" you don't know why you suddenly said that but you guess you didn't mind his presence anymore.

"I'll sleep on the couch" you offer and bring out a pillow from your bedroom buut he snatches it from you and says "I don't want to bother you so I'll just sleep on the couch" "No what are you saying I can't do that to a guest" You say snatching ng the pillow back and it suddenly becomes a pillow tugging competition to a pillow fight. It looked like as if you both were kids but you needed to get revenge on him for hitting you on the head with the pillow. After a while of messing around you began "Okay let's just sleep on the same bed but put pillows in the middle is that okay?"you said exhausted and out of breath. THere is no way any of you would fit in your small couch so Heeseung just agreed.

Instead of sleeping you both just talked about random stuff, how Heeseung became a trainee, if you had any siblings, music taste and anything till 4 in the morning when Heeseung heard snores while he was explaing his childhood talent show. He surely adored your sleeping face and fell asleep watching you.

You had woken up to your alarm and so had Heeseung, after turning off the alarm you couldn't help but laugh at how cute Heeseung looked . "Why what's wrong?" he asked rubbing his eyes "nothing you look adorable, you can go freshen up first then i'll drive you to the dorms" he just smiled and got up unlike sunghoon who would want to sleep 10 minutes more. As you said, you dropped him off at the dorms and went to Jihun's office.

Even if you didn't say or show it you were worried about what Sunghoon did after 7 PM and so by giving the excuse of 'forgetting his schedule' you asked Jihun where he went. "Oh? you don't know? he goes to the club and then a hotel as his schedule stays empty after mc'ing." Oh. It all made sense now, all those 'scars' him always coming after showering and drunk with the smell of women's cheap perfume. But why were you feeling like this? It's not like you both were dating or anything even jf you did confess? he had rejected you. You couldn't believe it. You thought he would've moved on. You knew you weren't the only one feeling this.

"Hyung? Where have you been?" Sunghoon asked the older boy, he didn't know if he should say that he spend the night at the house of his member's 'friend' or crush but he couldn't lie to him either. "At YN's place as we forgot the keys to my apartment" he said calmly, "Oh? so that's why she didn't call me?" the older one just sighed "Sunghoon you cant expect her to only run behind you, I know you love her you should just tell her.. stop going behind her back and doing shit how would she feel if she found out?" Sunghoon just scoffed "You should be the last person to tell me this after sleeping over at her place" he said slowly getting heated up, thankfully none of the members were home, Jake, Jay and Niki were recording while Sunoo and Jungwon were at their radio show."You don't own her, I'm not here to argue about her, just stop and confess to her before she finds out herself" he tried to be calm "Hyung you don't need to tell me what to do, I know her well enough to know what to do to win her over" he said ready to walk out when- "know he?" he laughs in between before continuing " do you even know what she was going through these few months when her mother died? No, youre to hung up on Hyunhee just give YN a chance stop fucking around." Heeseung snaps back before going to his room.

Sunghoon was speechless but still mad and possibly jealous over the fact that you let Heeseng stay over so he went to meet Jihun to ask why you hadn't come yet. "Oh YN, she took a break for a week" he said before going back into a phone call about a new brand deal while Sunghoon stood confused "why would you suddenly take a break?" Completing his schedule faster than usual he drives to your place, t was 6 PM a lot eralier than he usually would come, it was raining heavily so the sky was dark already. He had a bad feeling but he had to confront you, maybe even tell his feelings like Heeseung adviced?

He twisted the door knob and surprisingly it was unlock but that wasn't more shocking than what he saw inside, you were blankly staring at the city infront of you through the window of your living room with a cigarette between your hand. "Since when did you smoke and let guys I didn't want you to be with come in your house?" you flinched but turned to face him and stood up, "Since when did you start coming so early, are you done fucking your hoes in a hotel?" you spoke quieter, looking at him with glossy eyes. "Answer the questio- YN what?" he said quite shook and taken aback by what you said.

"Tell me what youre doing on the other side." you start backing up "YN-" 'Just tell me what youre doing with those other girls!" you spoke through your tears "Tell me why youre always wasted when we talk, tell me why you only remember my name in the mornings..." "YN no listen to me I love yo-" he tries grabbing your hand but you back away, both of you pathetically crying now. "Running in circles now look what you've done... I trusted you.. and what the hell are we? tell me we werent just friends? this doesn't make no sense!" you said gripping your hair "YN I really do love you I didn't mean to- " he fell down on his knees "You said youre not ready.. I was waiting for you to move on, only to find out I'm the rebound" you laugh bitterly "YN No- please give me a chance..-" you pointed at the door "leave." he seemed shocked "Y-YN no youre not fine I can't leave." you only laughed "I'll be fine without you babe"

That's when he realised he had completely losed you..

after he felt, you decided to call heeseung

"YN? What's wrong?"

"H-hee please come ove-over"

He left.. again. like everyone does you were shaken up. The only person who gave you their attention was Sunghoon, despite not saying anything he made you feel special. you had confessed your feelings to him once and he said he needed time. what has this led to. I should've known. "YN?" Heeseung came in, he seemed shocked at your state. You were shaking a thrown cigarette on the floor while your hair was a mess, tears kept streaming down your face. He ran up to you taking you in his embrace, he didnt want someone so precious in this much pain. It hurt him too. "W-why did h-he even give m-me ho-hope?- if h-he want-ted something e-else" you spoke in broken words but Heeseng understood, he figured you found out what Sunghoon had been doing. "Shh.. it's okay you deserve better calm down" he rocked you back and forth before you calmed down just softly crying in his embrace.

You were on his lap while he held you protectively in his arms. "I know this isn't the right time but, I -I just want you to know I'm here for you.. I probably haven't loved you as long as sunghoon did but if you give me a chance i promise I'd never let you go.." Before you could say anything he attached his soft lips on yours, you didn't kiss him back. You were too taken aback. He soon detached his lips from you and said "I get it if you don't want this I'm still with you" He hugged you tighter before you spoke up "I n-need you too Heeseung but please let me heal before I trust you again.."

"I'll help you heal" He said before you fell asleep, tired from heartbreak and love yet being comforted by the person who you'll soon start loving.

you maybe truly will be fine without him

author’s note: my hand hurts but hey it was worth it, ngl i enjoyed writing this and I hope y’all like it <3 parmanent taglist is open

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puppetshowdown · 1 year

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Any favourite info-dumps? <:O/genq

I love all of them! But here I'll share a few that really stood out to me! -The Julia one I mentioned before!: "I just….. I am love her. I was SO happy when she was introduced. Her first episode is my comfort media. Autistic representation where it isn’t framed as a bad thing is SO rare in children’s media, and “she does things a little bit differently, in a Julia sort of way” made me CRY. She is so much like me and she makes me so happy. The happy flaps when I saw her on the Sesame Street float at the Macy’s parade nearly hurt my wrist I was so happy. She is the best girl and deserves the best. Her puppet was designed to have a set of arms specifically so that she can stim, and she has a comfort toy like I do and doesn’t like the way paint feels like I don’t and loves to sing like I do and gets overwhelmed by sirens like I do and I just love her SO MUCH. (I didn’t link a picture because there are so many good ones! I like the one where she is looking at a feather, and also the one from the cover of the picture book she initially appeared in <3)" -Audrey II: "want to preface: either the stage version or the '86 movie version works, as both are portrayed by puppets! although neither is canonically a puppet in the story. i couldn't tell from the rules if this was disqualifying or not. BUT if i could get a word in for the movie Audrey II: WHAT A GORGEOUS PUPPET… or should i say SERIES of PUPPET/ANIMATRONIC HYBRIDS! there's somewhere in the ballpark of a dozen Twoies in the film to represent the different growth stages of the plant. they're all beautifully painted with vibrant detail, perfectly matching the high camp tone & setting! the mechanics of the puppet are also intricate and innovative; especially the MOUTH those lip syncs are so accurate and expressive! the largest puppets were actually so heavy that in order to remain accurate to the audio, they had to be operated along to the tracks and filmed at half speed, then sped up in editing… which means that when the actors appear with the plant in those scenes, they're ALSO performing at half speed! the stage play versions are (by necessity) less technical than these puppets, which were fabricated by the Jim Henson company btw, but lots are still really cool; a unique standout is the one from the Pasadena Playhouse production! whew. all this and i didnt even talk about the character… Audrey II is an alien plant that was beamed down to Earth and wants to take over the world. it sings some catchy songs about that. they can fit so much queercoding and slay into this plant. it's a girlboss it's a drag queen it manipulated a young man into committing several murders. we stan." -Spamton: "Hee heehee I am so obsessed with this silly puppet guy. I love how he went from an absolute snazzy lil salesman dude with his red tux, and just gradually turned into a complete disaster of himself. I like how little detail is actually shared about his past, so you're left to wonder if he was actually brought down by circumstances out of his control, or if he brought his failures upon himself and just doesn't want to accept that. I want to give him a hug and he would no doubt try to bargain for my soul in the process"

-Riley Ruckus: "SHES SO GENDER OH MY GOD SHES THIS COOL EVIL SCIENTIST WHO WAS MADE TO BE LIKE. A KIND BUT SLIGHTLY AGGRESSIVE SCIENCE TEACHER FOR A KIDS SHOW, BUT AFTER COMING TO LIFE HAD THAT TWISTED INTO MAD SCIENCE, AND SHE CARES SO MUCH ABOUT HER DOGGO AND SHES SO PRECIOUS AND WOULD ALSO RIP U APART AND IS SO VERY GENDER"

And honestly so many others! I love all the infodumps! From the long passionate paragraphs to the more silly jokey ones They're all so much fun to read!

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kwaggysshardmindemporium · 7 months

Text

So apparently I haven't done any albumposting since the Missy Elliott one so big block incoming strap the fuck in we goin' faaaaast.

Rattlesnakes by Lloyd Cole and the Commotions. This album was pretty forgettable overall. "Are You Ready to be Heartbroken?" was nice enough. Also it makes the twee song "Lloyd, I'm Ready to be Heartbroken" make just so god damn much more sense now. 3/5

Roger the Engineer by The Yardbirds. So forgettable I did, in fact, forget every last note I heard. Does this album actually exist? You tell me! My brain certainly can't confirm! 3/5

To Pimp a Butterfly by Kendrick Lamar. Liked it well enough, didn't love it. Favorite track was "The Blacker the Berry." 4/5

Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J. The title track is the best thing on here and is the only track I remember at all, and that doesn't inspire much because the title track is just pretty good. 3/5

Surfer Rosa by The Pixies. Okay so if there's one thing that listening to all these albums has taught me, one core thing you can take with you and remember, it's that The Pixies kick fucking ass seriously this is the worst album of theirs I've listened to and it's still better than a majority of what else I've heard. 4/5, listen to Bossa Nova first, then Dolittle, THEN this one is the order I'd give for what I've heard.

Chelsea Girl by Nico. This woman's voice is absolutely beautiful, but she just isn't working with good lyrics to sing. 3/5

Honky Tonk Masquerade by Joe Ely. This is one of those albums that if it had found me at a different time in my life I would have loved it forever. As is, eh it's fine I guess. 3/5, best track is "Boxcars."

Autobahn by Kraftwerk. This is the best Kraftwerk album I've heard, which means purely that I didn't despise it I understand that these guys were talented, important and influential but I just flatly hate most of what they made even as I respect that they were game changers who laid the groundwork for basically all music that came after. It was some nice enough background music for my day. 3/5, but like you legit should listen because knowing where the things you like came from is good.

Next by The Sensational Alex Harvey Band. The name of the album is "Next" I'm not just saying this band is next up. So uh this album fucks. Literally this album is horny. I loved it. "Gang Bang" is a song I didn't know I needed in my life but is now precious to me. It has kind of the vibe of AC/DC's "Big Balls" if it dropped the tee-hee talking entirely in euphemism tone and instead was just directly about exactly what you think it's about. And I know this album came out not far from the free love hippy era, but it's still kinda crazy to hear something so sex positive and unashamed from before I was born. 5/5

Gentlemen by The Afghan Wigs. This album is boring. I have literally nothing to say about it. 3/5, moving on.

Millions Now Living Will Never Die by Tortoise. Now, this is why we don't judge books by their covers. I saw the super artsy pretentious sounding name. I saw the album saying it was 6 songs and 43 minutes meaning the songs are too god damn long. I saw the first song alone is 20+ minutes. I was super ready to write this off as something music critics like, but no this was fun as hell to listen. The blurb the artist has on Spotify says this is indie rock and for that they are dirty liars. This absolutely isn't rock. It is, however, and absolute fucking *journey.* You should absolutely listen to this. 4/5

Let's Get Killed by David Holmes. It sucks. I will say Dave, we should do that, because then I wouldn't have to listen to more of this. 2/5

Scream, Dracula, Scream by Rocket From the Crypt. This was a lot of fun. It's like somewhere between grunge and heavy metal. And as someone who likes both of those things, I enjoyed this. Two great tastes that taste great together. 4/5

And finally, album #700! Woooooooo. MTV Unplugged in New York by Nirvana. This is one of the big ones. It is just barely not in the top 10 on the website I generate these from. (#11.) There are less than 1% of all 1001 albums that people on average like better, including multiple Beatles, Bowie and Floyd albums. It truly sits among the elite. Is it actually that good...? Yeah no shit it's that good have you heard it? It's great. Nirvana is one of the all time greatest bands, and this album has some of the all time greatest versions of their songs plus some amazing covers. If you haven't heard anything from this album before, first let me welcome you oh successful time traveller from the past even my ass has heard a bunch of these already, and then go listen to it it's fucking great. Obviously 5/5

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stormblessed95 · 3 years

Note

Hey wanted to make request if you could gather all the song recommendations given by jungkook over the years or maybe if you have made one can you link it to me?

It would be cool even if you don't I mean it's a bit of a work hehe

✨✨

*blinks* anon... do you realize how much content you are asking me to go through? 🤣 we are talking almost 9 years of content here anon! Do you know how many songs our boy has recommended in 9 years?! 🤣🤣 "it's a bit of work" man... sure sure, I'll try to compile a list for you. But if I miss any, I want you all to remember... 9 YEARS OF CONTENT HERE. Lol thanks 💜💜 JK does have great music taste though, so let's get it! I'll try to cover songs he recommended on Twitter, and songs he covered either on Twitter, YouTube or SoundCloud if I can:

2013

130201, SoundCloud cover from JK and RM of the song "Like a Star"

2014

141217, JK posted a cover of the song "Sofa" by Crush on YouTube.

141224, JK recommended "Your Universe" by Lee Yerin on Twitter, saying he wanted to share it before going to sleep and that it was really good.

141225, JK and JM post a cover of "Mistletoe" by Justin Bieber on YouTube, they retitled their cover "Christmas Day." With these cute selcas posted on Twitter to go with it.

2015

150222, JK recommended "Best Friend" by Misty Miller on Twitter, saying thank you music

150302, JK posted a 3 part Twitter Post dancing to "Pompeii" by Bastille. Part 2. Part 3.

150309, JK recommended 2 songs on Twitter. "Baby Blue" by King Krule and "Memo" by years and years. With the captions "wow" and "one more."

150504, JK posted a very short Twitter cover of "See You Again" by Wizz Khalifa.

150524, JK recommended "You Should be Here" by Kehlani on Twitter. Captioned with This was really good.

150525, JK is back the next day on Twitter recommending "I Need Some Sleep" by Eels. Saying this is good.

150526, third day in a row, JK is back with another Eels recommendation on Twitter, this time it is "Can't Help Falling in Love." No caption, just JK.

150531, he posts a short cover of "Eat" by Zion T. With the caption, please don't skip any meals.

150612, JK recommends on Twitter "Pray" by Younha. He comes back shortly after saying he forgot the write the caption the first time but wanted to say that her voice is really nice.

150629, JK recommended "Love Me Again" by G.Soul. No caption, just JK at 3:30 AM on Twitter.

150710, JK recommends "Tears" by Lee Sora on Twitter. Saying that it was a song RM recommended to him and that it was really good, he wonders if everyone already knows it though.

150714, JK recommended "Romance" by Cheeze on Twitter. Saying this is nice.

150823, JK recommended on Twitter an OST called "I will Give Everything to You" by Lee Jang Hee. He also sang this song on the vlive: Live in Osaka.

151003, JK posts a cover of "Lost Stars" by Adam Levine on YouTube.

151017, JK recommended "Like Fallen Leaves" by "Forest of Breath" on Twitter.

151018, the next day, JK recommended "Talk Me Down" by Troye Sivan on Twitter.

151020, JK recommended "Goodbye" by RaD on Twitter.

151021, the next day JK recommended "Leaving" by Park Boyoung on Twitter

151023, JK recommended 3 song on Twitter, "Knees" by IU with the hashtag in the caption wow... Another from IU titled "The Shower" with the caption saying he can't sleep and again wow... and the last for this day was "Rainy Night" by Donawhale.

151026, JK recommended "Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence" by Sakamoto Ryuichi on Twitter.

151028, JK recommended 2 songs on Twitter. First was "Electro-shock Blues" by Eels. And the second was "Just Because The Blossons Have Fallen Doesn't Mean I've Forgotten You" by Swing.

151029, JK recommended on Twitter "Alone" by Dalchong.

151031, JK recommended on Twitter "Angel's Disguise" by Jae.

151102, JK recommended on Twitter "Over and Over" by Chris Garneau.

151109, JK recommended on Twitter "Waiting" by Aquilo.

151113, JK recommended 2 songs on Twitter. First, "Wires" by The Neighborhood. Second, "Today (Shim Kyuseon)" by Epitome Project.

151120, JK recommended on twitter "Anatani" by Tamaki Koji.

151124, JK recommended "To A Time Where Memories Stopped" by A Sheep That Plays Alone on Twitter.

151128, JK recommended 2 songs on twitter. "Ophelia" by Lucia. And adds the caption to be dressed warmly. And second "Goodbye Universe" by Kwon Youngchan.

151201, JK recommended "Lookalike" by Lucia on Twitter.

151204, JK recommended on Twitter, "Empty Room" by 4-49.

151213, JK recommended on Twitter, "Curious" by Holly Brook.

151219, JK recommended "To You" by Kang Asol on Twitter.

151221, JKs last song recommended in 2015 on Twitter was "A Song For You" by HeartB.

151224, Christmas Eve, JK drops a cover of "Paper Hearts" by Tori Kelley on SoundCloud.

151229, JK and RM post a cover of the song "Fools" by Troye Sivan on Sound Cloud.

2016

160102, JKs first Twitter recommendation in 2016 was "Like a Shade Always the Same" by Hong Jaemok.

160104, JK recommended on Twitter, "A Story I wrote Myself" by Yeoun ft. Shin Heeyeon

160213, JK recommended on Twitter, "Please Don't Go" by Barcelona.

160215, JK recommended on Twitter, "Crosswalk" by Jokwon, with a caption praising his Sunbae on a good song and saying he will listen to it to fall asleep.

160303, JKs recomendation on Twitter, "Just a Little Bit More" by Sweden Laundry.

160717, JK recommended and covered "D" by Dean on Twitter complimenting Dean's voice.

160901, JK covered the Song "Purpose" by Justin Beiber on SoundCloud.

160902, JK recommended on Twitter, "A Love That Won't Work Out for Me" by Bolbbalgan4.

160912, JK recommended "Beautiful Lies" by Birdy on Twitter.

161024, JK recommended on Twitter "First" by Yoon Jongshin & Minseo.

161111, JK recommended on Twitter, "With A Determined Heart to Forget You" by Kim Kwangseok.

2017

170207, JK posted a cover on Twitter of the song "Beautiful" by Crush. He said it speaks on his feelings about ARMY.

170227, JK posted his cover on YouTube of "We Don't talk Anymore" by Charlie Puth.

170603, JK and JM post on YouTube another cover, but this time featuring both of them on "We Don't Talk Anymore" by Charlie Puth.

170901, for his birthday JK dropped his cover of the song "2U" by David Guetta and Justin Bieber on SoundCloud.

171224, for Christmas, JK dropped a cover of "O Holy Night" by J Rabbit on SoundCloud.

2018

180117, JK posted a cover of the song "Breathe" by Lee Hi on Twitter.

180227, JK posted a cover of the song "All of My Life" by Park Won on Twitter.

180314, JK posted a cover of the song "Only Then" by Roy Kim on SoundCloud.

180831, HopeKook post a video on Twitter of their picnic date for JKs birthday with JK singing "Now and Forever" by Richard Marx

181213, JK recommended "Grip" by Seed & Bastille on Twitter.

181221, JK recommended "Dreaming" by Chymes on Twitter.

2019

190123, JK posted a cover of the song "Ending Scene" by IU on SoundCloud and posted about it on Twitter.

190208, JK recommended "Happiness" by Ovan on Twitter.

190222, JK recommended "In a Long Dream" by Cheeze. He captions it with an apology for being late and saying he should be scolded because he had earlier promised ARMY to give a music rec on fancafe after he washed up, but momentarily had forgotten.

190228, JK posted a clip of him covering the song "All of My Life" by Park Won on Twitter.

190512, JK posted a video the song "Clouds" by Before You Exist as the audio on Twitter.

190609, Does this count as a recommendation? I don't know, but it's iconic. JK posted a video of him dancing and enjoying "Bad Guy" by Billie Ellish on Twitter:

190711, JK posted a clip on Twitter covering George's song "Look at Me."

2020

200109, JK recommended "Yummy" by Justin Bieber on Twitter.

200115, JK posted a cover of "Perhaps That Was Love" by Choi Yong Jung on Twitter.

200502, JK posted a cover of "Never Not" by Lauv on Twitter.

200728, JK tweeted out his cover that he dropped on SoundCloud of "10,000 Hours" by Dan & Shay.

No Twitter or YouTube covers/recs in 2021. The only music he has recommended this year has been through his vlives and vlive concerts. This is already soooo long. So I can do another post with his Spotify Playlist recommendations and/or vlive song covers/recommendations over the years if there is interest. This took me FOREVER though. It's possible I missed some over the years, but I tried to get them all.

Hope this helps and is at least a good start and hopefully all the links work to go to his original tweets with these recommendations! Thanks for the ask. Have a good day!

#JKs Twitter Music Recommendations

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woos-lil-oreo · 3 years

Text

Love Scene

Pairing: Song Min Gi x Female! Reader

Word Count: approximately 3.1k words

Warnings: Slight Voyeurism???, Mentions of alcohol consumption, cursing/swearing, biting, spitting, Reader is a slight pillow princess, UNPROTECTED SEX (plastic wrap your peenie weenies), oral sex (fem receiving), fingering, slight use of pet names... I think that's it.

Author's Note: Most of this is a BIG self-indulgence XD and that Mingi gif always get me going... AnYwAyS, This fic is NSFW!!!! If you are uncomfy, do not read! If I miss anything, please tell me. If you wanna join the taglist, send me an ask and let me know. Don't steal... all that ✨ jazz ✨ music. Drink your water and enjoy my dirty lil harlots 😉

Taglist: @shusan @woowommy @ceopjy @joongsprincess @yunhofingers

Intro and Masterlist ✨

This is the happiest day of your life. You are dolled up in a beautiful snow-white dress decorated in speckled sequins and intricate rhinestone designs.

Your makeup is simple yet glamourous with a simple natural smoky eye with a shimmer in the inner corners. There is this aural glow of happiness around you, and you genuinely feel like a princess.

You are standing in front of your handsome fiancée with your hands holding each other, who is decked out in a simple black suit with a white dress shirt accented with a deep royal blue tie and shiny black Oxfords.

Hongjoong’s friend, Maddox, recites the point in the script where the vows would be repeated by you and your soon to be husband.

The vows. A spiritual binding of words that will connect the two of you until the end of eternity… or until you two get tired of each other, whichever comes first.

As you repeat after Maddox, Mingi’s eyes glisten with tears of joy. As much as he willed himself not to, one little miscreant of a tear dared to fall. You drop one of your hands to go wipe the tear stream off of his cheek.

The guests proceed to awe in adoration. Seonghwa fans his eyes to prevent his tears from falling, while Hongjoong is sporting a runny nose and a giant crocodile tear down his cheek, clinging to Seonghwa’s shoulder.

As you listen to Mingi recite his vows, tears start to well up in your eyes. You grip Mingi’s hand a little tighter to calm yourself because your makeup is beautifully done, and you’d be damned if you let a teardrop and a dried tear stain appear on your cheek. Jae-hee would have your ass. You got through the ceremony without tears!

“By the power vested in me, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” Maddox proclaims. You turn to Mingi, who now has one of the brightest smiles ever on his face, and he leaves a nice, sweet, lingering peck on your lips, still holding your hands.

“Oh, come on, you can do better than that!” Wooyoung screams out, earning himself a nice smack to the forehead from Yeosang. Wooyoung winces and rubs the spot while the guests laugh at their interaction and turn back to you when Mingi lets go of your hand and smirks.

Mingi pulls you to his chest, grabs you by the waist – pulling you close to him – and kisses you. As the kiss gets deeper, he places his hand on your cheek – steadying your head, and your hands work their way to the back of his head.

The crowd begins to root the two of you on, and Jae-hee screams out, “You guys are literally about to get a room!” You both pull away from each other and look at your husband. Mingi has a very thin layer of shimmer lip gloss on his mouth, and his cheeks and the tips of his ears are red.

A now very flustered and blushy boi Maddox quickly recollects himself from what he just witnessed and mutters, “They don’t pay me enough,” with a chuckle before he announces, loud and proud, “I-I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Song Min Gi!”

Everyone stands up from their seats and creates a round of applause as the newlywed couple leads the processional to the area where the wedding party, which is beautifully attired in soft peach pink dresses and deep royal sapphire blue accented suits, is to take pictures of one of the most important days you will never forget.

~25 minutes later~

The host has completed the introductions for the most chaotic wedding party that has ever existed, and everyone is getting to their seats in the venue.

The reception hall is absolutely stunning! The same colors of the wedding party are accented with gold. Diamonds are loosely scattered across the table, tealight candles alit floating in water vases, giving the room a soft glow in addition to the dimmed lighting.

The caterers are dressed in a clean white shirt, a black vest, and slacks. The guys have a royal blue sleeve garter, and the girls a soft peach one.

Once everyone has settled at their tables, Jae-hee and Yunho approach the front of the makeshift stage to make their toasts as Maid of Honor and Best Man.

Jae-hee grabs the microphone first, and she is already tearing up, and she is usually not one for emotion often. “Y/N, we have been friends for so long… we are practically sisters. I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful and confident woman… and even though I put you through some shit….” All of ATEEZ shakes their head and groan in agreement, and the rest of the guests laugh in response.

Jae-hee rolls her eyes and continues. “I’m so happy that you have found the love of your life and that I wasn’t the first to get married.” You roll your eyes and get up to hug her, and she meets you halfway. While in her embrace, she whispers, “I love you, baby girl,” and you respond with the same hushed tone, “I love you, too,” letting one measly tear run.

You two kiss each other’s cheek, and you return to your seat, and Jae-hee returns to the stage. She grabs Yunho’s handkerchief to dab away her tears before they fall through mascara. “Mingi, I officially welcome you into the messy integration that is our family.” Mingi chuckles and nods in response.

The mic is passed to Yunho. “Mingi, you have grown into an immaculate young man who is decorated with accomplishments and people who love you. I’m really proud of you, and I wish you two the best of luck. Y/N, I have watched you become each other’s yin and yang. You may be a bit of a handful,” you roll your eyes and chuckle. “… But we love you so much, and we welcome you into our quote – end quote ‘messy integration that is our family.’” Yunho walks over to give you a kiss on the cheek, and bro hugs Mingi.

“Cheers!” After an emotional toast from Hongjoong and Seonghwa, it was time for the party to begin, and I mean both aspects of the term. Which explains why you are now seated in a chair in the middle of the dance floor. Mingi is standing across from you with a slightly evil glint in his eye.

Hope You Do by Chris Brown blares through the speakers in the venue. You immediately cover your warm cheeks with your hands to conceal the blush and warmth there, knowing what is to come. Mingi starts to remove his suit jacket… and Yeosang, Yunho, and surprisingly, Jongho remove their coats as well.

As the trio wines and grinds on the floor behind the Groom, Mingi moves closer towards you to go and remove your garter.

When he reaches you, he does not even take the time to bunch up your dress and goes straight into hunting for the garter. His big hands rub around the top of your knees to find it.

When he does, he drops his hands to the floor to give himself leverage. He proceeds to leave a speckled trail of kisses up your leg and bites right below the garter, causing you to yelp in surprise and the crowd to holler out.

Mingi drags the garter down your leg to your ankle and removes it from your foot. At this point, there is a tension between you two that begs and pleads to be relieved.

Mingi stands to his feet, grabbing your hands to guide you straight up off the chair. You two make eye contact, and you can see the tension. “Alright young bachelorettes, come out to the floor and catch you a bouquet!” The host says in the mic, and all the women move to the floor, ready to start drinking, the actual after-party, and the real fun.

When all participants are on the floor, you pretend to throw the bouquet to keep them on edge. After a few false turns, you finally throw, and Jae-hee sprints to the front to catch it effortlessly.

“Yeahhh bitches, I’m next to get married!!!” She jumps up and down as you laugh and the other ladies leave the floor.

The host announces that it is the fellas’ turn to come out on the floor. It was not as many males as females, but there was a good amount present. Mingi played the same card as you: pretending to throw the garter until he did.

In an ironic twist of events, Jongho caught it on the top of his head like a flower crown. When he patted his head to confirm he sort of caught it, he made eye contact with Jae-hee.

They both quickly look away with a bright pink flush on their cheeks, which causes you and Mingi to laugh together. He wraps his arms across your shoulder blades and squeezes your shoulder. You look at him questioningly, and he nods to the door. You nod and grab his hand, running to the back door with your husband.

Seonghwa will have your ass for running out and leaving him and Hongjoong to clean up your mess, but that is a tomorrow problem, and you have more… pressing matters to deal with.

Mingi is flying down the street with you in the back seat to compensate room for your dress. As he tries to get to your home without getting a ticket, you untie his tie and proceed to rub down his chest, slow and meticulously popping one button after another.

Before you could decorate his neck in pretty little hickeys and love bites, the car jerks to a stop, and he power strides to your door and opens it. He grabs you in his arms bridal style out of the vehicle.

You were surprised at how easy he made that look, especially with all of the extra fluff on your dress. He carries you into the threshold with ease, kissing you as if his life depends on it.

When Mingi blindly finds your room, he puts you down on your feet, spins you around, and begins to unzip your dress. He kisses under your ear and down your neck as your dress pools around your feet. He breaks away to rest his forehead on yours.

“As much I would love to pound you into the mattress right now, I would like for our first time as a married couple to be gentle,” he breathes out. You nod your head, and he slowly turns you around to unclip the black strapless bra, allowing your breasts to drop.

He returns his mouth back to your neck and softly twists your nipple between his fingers, eliciting tingles to run all over your body. As good as the feeling was, you remove Mingi’s hand and spin around to face your husband. You walk backward until the back of your legs hit the mattress and lean back.

MIngi crawls on top of you and slowly kisses you. You can feel the passion and love through it, causing you to shiver. Mingi, once again, pulls away from you to drag your black lace panties down your legs. He throws them across the room and stands from the bed, peeling away the dress shirt you opened in the car.

The shirt drops to the floor, and he begins to unbuckle his belt, dropping it to the floor. The pants come next, along with the boxer briefs, and they pooled around his ankles. You bite your finger and lick your lips with lust-darkened eyes as you are being blessed with this private show.

Mingi returns to your V of your legs and brings your ankle to his mouth, leaving delicate kisses down the inner side of your leg until he reaches the inner thigh, where he leaves a bite – causing you to giggle and squirm a bit.

He lifts himself to where his penis grazes your labia. He rubs the tip along your slit and teases the tip inside of your core. “You ready, baby?” He sticks the reddened tip inside, just to pull it back out, and repeats this a couple times until you are a whining and moaning little mess. He finally pushes his dick past the tip and slowly moves into you, allowing you to feel every vein and ridge of his cock.

You moan in relief and very, very, VERY slight pain due to his girth, and Mingi doesn’t stop until he is at the hilt, meeting you pelvis to pelvis. He doesn’t move for a second, trying to collect himself before he busts in you from the tightness of your honey pot. You shiver as he pants in your neck, leaving goosebumps wherever his warm minty breath hits.

You grind your hips around, signaling that you have adjusted to his size, and he moans out at the action. He begins to pump inside very slowly in and out of you, with his brows scrunched and his bottom lip being bitten.

You hear the squelching noises from his slow pace. When you started getting louder, Mingi moves a bit faster, seeing that you are slowly reaching your orgasm, and frankly, so is he. “Baby, I love you so much,” he mutters like a mantra as he helps you both reach new heights.

You two have made love before, but never to this extent. After every mutter, your heart from knowing that this is the man you will spend the rest of your life with. You place your hand on the back of Mingi’s neck to kiss him, but before your lips could make contact, Mingi stops.

He licks the base of his thumb and places a firm pressure on your clitoris, and then kisses you, his tongue swirling around your own. You two are seeing specks of light under your eyelids from cumming so hard. It may not have been anything degrading, rough or intense in that sense. Still, it was absolutely beautiful joining souls with your lover.

~The Next Morning~

You wake up feeling floaty, like you are lying on a cloud. Your husband is asleep with his arm draped around your waist. As you face Mingi, his features are soft, and it looks like he is in bliss. You place your hand on his cheek and caress the apple.

When you are done admiring your husband, you carefully move his arm to his side to make breakfast. You are successful in not waking Mingi and hop out of bed, still naked from last night’s escapades. “Wow, it feels nice to say that,” you think as you grab your husband’s dress shirt and run to the bathroom to clean Mingi’s cum that has dripped down your leg.

~A few minutes later~

You are now in the kitchen, whipping up some waffle batter. The table is decorated with a nicely plated array of bacon and a bowl of freshly washed and cut fruit. You finish plugging in the waffle iron when your husband wraps his arms around your shoulders and spins you around.

He quickly lifts you on the counter. “Good morning, Mrs. Song.” He says huskily from his morning voice. You try to reply with a greeting, but Mingi catches the words in your mouth. Your lips are smashed together from Mingi’s fervency, and his long and slender fingers start to move down to your hole.

“Oh my goodness, babe. You’re so wet for me.” He teased. You moan out while he rubs your entrance, spreading your slick up and down. “You like this, don’t you?” He asks when he pushes a finger in, causing you to scream in response. “Those weren’t proper words, but I’ll take it.” He responds while adding another finger in and drastically changing his pace. You cry out due to the incredible speed. Mingi looks up at you.

Your head is tilted back, tiny pants coming from your mouth, and hands grabbing the counter as if to ground yourself. Mingi lets a drop of spit fall from his mouth and adds another finger to add more lubrication and bring you closer to climax.

You start to squirm on the counter, which is now soaked in your fluids, and whimper softly. A telltale sign that you are almost there; you just need that one little push. Mingi kneels down to be face to face with your cunt, and he stares at your dripping core as if he was hypnotized by how well you are taking his digits.

A loud moan from you knocks him out of his trance, and he adds one more finger and starts to apply suction on your button. A blinding white light flashes behind your eyelids, and a fuzzy warmth roams all over your body.

You breathe heavily from your high, and Mingi slows his speed, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. He slowly removes his fingers, causing you to whimper from overstimulation, and brings them to your mouth.

You immediately open your mouth to welcome in the appendages and begin to suck them as if your life depends on it. The spit dribbles from your mouth down your chin and along Mingi’s forearm. He gently pulls at your jaw to open your mouth and spits in your mouth.

“Swallow.” He growls, and you do not think twice about disobeying him. He returns to kiss you, mixing your natural taste with your juices and his tongue.

He pulls away, and your fucked out state is adorable: your eyes are dilated from here to Hell, saliva glistening your chin, your cheeks are heavily flushed, and your ass is drenched with your cum.

“If this is what I wake to every morning, I’m not complaining.” Mingi chuckles. “You didn’t even get to have breakfast yet.” You laughed. He looks with an eyebrow raised… “Oh, you meant actual food?” You nod your head.

“As long as I have you, I don’t think I’ll need anything else.” He cheesily says. “Yeah, sure, that’s not what your body will be saying.” You retaliate as you jump off the counter, cringing when you hear your butt peel off the corner from your juices.

Mingi laughs, grabs some paper towels to clean that. When he’s done, he washes his hands and proceeds to help you cook so you two can build the stamina to christen the rest of your home together. Well, christen is not the right word… more like fuck like rabbits until the morning light returns.

~~~~~

And there's the fic ✨ hope you enjoyed the read ✨ leave an ask and say hi or even follow me or reblog if you did

#mingissoggywaffles #ateez #ateez smut #ateez imagines #ateez scenarios #atz smut #song mingi smut #mingi smut #ateez x reader #mingi x reader #mingi x y/n #kpop smut #song mingi x reader

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cameli-e · 3 years

Text

The Poetry In "When The Weather Is Fine".

Small Love Song by Hwang Tong-Gyu

I received a letter which held yesterday

The path that had always trailed behind you suddenly disappeared, and everything that wasn't the path went with it

Scattered stones which played with us as kids hide away their faces.

I love you, I love you and in the cold, clear night sky

I see the steady cracking of gold

A thin snow fails

Unable to settle anywhere on the ground, a pair of flakes close their eyes and tremble as they drift together endlessly.

To the Daffodil by Chung Ho-seung.

Don’t cry.

To be lonely is to be human.

To live is to endure loneliness.

Don’t wait for a call that never comes

When it snows, you walk on a snowy road

When it rains, you walk down a rainy path

The black-chested sandpiper in the reed field is watching you.

Sometimes even a deity cries from loneliness.

Birds sit on branches because they’re lonely.

The mountain shadow comes down to the village once a day because it is lonely.

The peal of bells rings out because it too is lonely.

A Drink (2008)

Life has never bought me a drink.

On many winter nights at a snack stall in a dead-end alley.

I emptied out my pockets… to buy life a drink.

But life has never bought me a single drink.

Whether it as a snowy day or a day when stone lotus flower silently bloomed and fell.

Me, Natasha and the White Donkey by Baek Seok

Tonight the snow falls endlessly

Because I, a poor man,

Love the beautiful Natasha.

I love Natasha,

the snow falls endlessly,

and I sit alone, drinking rice wine.

Drinking rice wine, I think:

the night the snow falls endlessly

I would like to ride, with Natasha, upon a white donkey

to a remote, mournful mountain village and live in a cottage.

The snow falls endlessly.

I love Natasha.

Natasha must be coming.

She has already come in quietly and tells me:

“You throw away such a thing as the world because it’s muddled,

but going to a remote mountain doesn’t mean you lose it all.”

The snow falls endlessly,

the beautiful Natasha will love me,

and somewhere the white donkey, too, will cry out,

delighted with tonight.

Owl At Home by Arnold Stark Label

Owl was at home,”

he reads to everyone and continues:

“Owl said: ‘It feels so good to be sitting by this fireplace.

It’s so cold and snowy outside.’

And then he heard someone knock on his door.

It was poor old winter.

Owl thought to himself:

“All right, I’ll be kind and let winter come in.”

“Winter, come on in! Come inside and warm yourself for a while.”

Yes. This is what Owl said to winter.

“Winter, you’re my guest. Behave yourself.”

The Bookstore Journal // Goodnight Bookstore Secret Post Posted By Seob

There is only one reason I like winter.

I can see your window because the leaves covering my window falls.

Christmas comes and New Years day comes.

And you come to this town for a few days.

[The books in "When The weather Is Fine" a list:

1. Every Day, A Glass Of Poetry by Ko Jeong-hee (2019)

2. I'll Visit You When The Weather Is Fine by Lee Doe (2018)

3. The Person I Love by Jeong Ho-Seung

4. The Wind In The Willows by Kenneth Grahame

5. Owl At Home by Arnold Lobel]

#when the weather is fine #i'll go to you when the weather is fine #poetry #poem #korean poetry #kdrama #seo kang joon #park min young #lee jae wook #dark academia #aesthetic #cottage #web weaving #autumn #winter #books #words

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hoonhrt · 3 years

Text

MUSIC SHOP

: pairing — idol! heeseung x music store worker! reader

: genre — fluff

: album recc. — case study 01 by daniel caesar and any of the albums i mentioned throughout the story!

: a/n — this is a little more on the lengthier side so please know that before reading! (i couldn’t help myself i luv hee too much)

it was a slow day at the shop. the dim fairy lights hung around lowly, making the atmosphere feel even slower. you walked around the store pushing a small grey cart that held all the albums, records, and cassette tapes one could ever imagine of, placing everything in their correct spots for future consumers to find.

the sound of a faint bell was heard from the back of the store. where you were, indicating that someone had came in. you flatten out the front of your sweater and rush to greet the costumer. you are met with a tall man dressed in all black from head to toe, water droplets fell off the shoulder of his jacket and you make a mental note to mop the floor later.

“hello! welcome to moonshines music. please let me know if you need help with anything, i’ll be happy to assist!” you cheerfully exclaim. you welcome costumers with a joyful energy that even cheers them up, it was your thing. the costumer pulled down the black mask from his face and waited for you to react. he was a slightly astonished when a reaction never came. no gasps, no eyes widening, no realization of who he was. just you with a firm smile on your face waiting for him to walk away and start shopping. he eyes you for a little before nodding his head and makes his way to the direction of the CD albums.

he pondered this feeling for a little. he wasn’t used to not being recognized. i mean, everyone knows him. he was on ever magazine cover and topped all the charts with his music. his face was plastered on every product poster that covered the walls of the busy city. so how could you not? he thinks that maybe you didn’t want to scare him off or bother him with pictures and autographs, inflating his ego a little bit. but still, why did you not say anything?

“excuse me! do you mind helping me out?” you could hear his voice from across the store as he shouted for you. jogging from your previous to his still figure.

“how can i help you?” continuing on your energetic personality. he didn’t have a real reason to ask for help, he was just too intrigued by you and needed a reason to converse with you. he looks around the store frantically for a minuet before looking back behind him to the CD’s he initially walked towards. “can you choose an album for me?” he blurts in your face loudly.

this wasn’t the first time someone asked for music recommendations but he walked in with confidence so you assumed he was a man who knew his music. “uhh yes um— do you perhaps have favourite genre that you maybe like?” you question him. he just stares at you, his lips folded in with a blank expression on his face. he shakes his head no. you politely nod again, now even more conflicted with what to recommend. you trail your eyes around the store till you see through the window next to the door. the sky is crying, whilst gray clouds surround it. the streetlight emitting an orange hue that reflect the fallen rain drops on the glass and you suddenly remember the small drops of water that trickled down his jacket sleeve when he first entered the store.

walking behind him you scan for the letter D section and begin to search for the album. letting out a soft ‘hmm’ before pulling out the album and handing it to him. “Case Study 01 by Daniel Caesar. perfect for rainy days when you aren’t lost in your thoughts.” you end with a smile on your face. ‘so they really have no idea to who I am, huh’ he thinks to himself. he looks down at the album in his hands than looking back up at you. a gentle smile reaching his lips. he follows you to the cashier register and pushes the album towards you. “that’ll be $10.15! card or cash?” he whips out his wallet and takes out a credit card. you can’t help but notice it was a black card, a card only the richest of people have. you wonder how this man can be so rich and why he is buying from a tiny music store in the middle of a unknown area.

you’re pulled away from your thoughts when the sound of the machine goes off, indicating the purchase has gone through. you delicately place the album into a tiny bag and hand it over to him with glee. “enjoy the album sir! if you ever do comeback, let me know what you thought about it!” you say in a courteous manner. the young man now looks at you with a toothy grin on display for you to awe at. he nods in affirmation before exiting. the atmosphere becoming quiet again. you hoped to see that man again.

another week has rolled around. you hum under your breath a silly little tune from a song on one of your many playlists, sending another customer off a new record they seemed to be extremely excited about. your job wasn’t much but seeing people share the same love for music as you was something that never failed to make you love life. wiping down the cashier, you hear the door chime and see the same handsome man from last week. you catch a glimpse of the clear sky and the natural light of the sun from out the door as he enters.

“i LOVED that album! you described it literally perfectly, it fit the vibes of the weather sooo much but didn’t leave me agonizing about life like how the rain usually makes me feel.” it made you so happy and almost accomplished to have someone come back and praise you for your music choice. you were about to start telling him it was no big deal before he proposes, again, to choose another album for him. you look at him a little unsure, you honestly didn’t know what to give him this time and you were scared he wouldn’t like it this time. he can see the anxiety flush over your face but lets you know he is looking for something this time. “give me your childhood favourite album. like, you know every single lyric for every song on this album.” your eyes go wide as you practically jump towards the shelf. he giggles quietly, thinking how cute you looked.

you prance towards the shelf knowing exactly where it was. in your hands was the Up All Night by One Direction, you shove the album into his hands with a passionate smile. he looks at you and tries to hide his judgment from you, which doesn’t work as you can see his eyebrow arch up and study the album in slight disgust. “hey! i danced to this album every night before i went to sleep for 3 years as a kid okay? it’s my favourite album!” your bottom lip pushes out, gazing at him with eyes the resemble a cute puppy. he throws his head back lets out a laugh that you think you could listen to for hours on end.

just as the prior week, he passes you the album to scan through and pulls out his card to pay. he was about to make his way out before you stop him. “can I have your name?” you requested. you took a liking to the kind guy, he had a pretty face and laugh that you particularly enjoyed. he checks his phone and swiftly swipes through the millions of notifications he has, then gazing back up at you. a genuine look plastered on your face. a look that feigned innocence, kept promises, and truly enjoyed life for what it was. “heeseung. my name is heeseung.”

you tug the key out of the door lock with a little force. the moon created a source of light and comfort as you made your way away from the shop and towards the subway station. you worked longer than usual and fatigue was the only thing felt within your weak bones. a car pulled up next to you, the window rolled down and revealed the person that has been occupying your thoughts recently, heeseung.

“on your way home?” you nod. “hop in, i’ll drive you home, we can listen to some music while we’re at it.” now you usually don’t just get into random peoples car, but you trusted him. who else would listen One Direction because someone asked them to?

his car was black from top to bottom, mirroring his outfits that he always wore. the windows were tinted and it looked intimidating from the outside, but on the inside sat a doe-eyed boy with the prettiest smile to exist. heeseung’s hand reaches out to turn up the volume of the car sound system. the sound of Frank Ocean’s voice fills up the empty sound within his car. it was song you were unfamiliar with. you ask what song this was and he lets out a dramatic gasp, almost looking offended. “you DON’T know this song? I guess pretty people can have flaws huh,” he turns his head to watch you flush a pink shade that can still be seen despite the darkness. a sight he thinks is quiet lovable.

the car ride to your home lasted much shorter than you wished it did. you two talked about everything under the moon. favourite songs, old childhood friends, past lovers. heeseung enjoyed the fact that you didn’t know his career identity. to the world he was Lee Heeseung, world renowned singer and model, but to you he was just, heeseung. a young boy who loved music and loved the world involved around it. you made him feel like a regular person again.

as you open the car door to make way into the glass doors of your apartment complex, heeseung grabs your wrist and pulls you back into the car. “how about... i lend you my favourite album this time, and next week on—” he checks the schedule his manager sent him, “saturday at 6 pm, i pick you up and we can talk more about it hm?” he holds his phone towards you with a cheeky smile on his face. you shake your head in disbelief as you bit back a smile of your own that is creeping on to your face. “I’ll see you then, hee.” your heart skipping beats as you walk away from the running vehicle.

unbeknownst to you, an excited heeseung punches the air rapidly with excitement. he silently screams into the night like a kid. feeling as if he was on cloud 9 to have scored a date with someone who’s a) the most beautiful person he’s ever seen and b) someone who likes him for his truest self.

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leamy-world · 3 years

Text

Reaction to The Devil Judge (spoilers for ep. 11-12)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well this week!

Here we go! Again i’m really sorry for the english & my personal interpretations which might go a little bit overboard (❁´ω`❁)

THIS GOT VERYYYYYYYYYY LONG PLEASE BEAR WITH ME!!!!

tldr: i am in shambles haha

Have a nice week and take care! ♥

- Huckleberryfinn’s new OST, The Nights, was released this saturday and it’s truly a gem! The guitar/bass’s place in BOTH OSTs they composed is awesome. The lyrics destroyed me haha (i’ll shortly talk about it below!). The soundtrack during these two episodes was awesome btw ;;

- Sun-Ah’s visit to the mansion felt nostalgic and shattering at the same time, she sees she doesn’t belong in this house but still indulges a little in this illusion, « wanting to fall for his trick even just for a little while ». Her expression made me feel for her for a little while too ;;

This shot above is funny because the bokeh effect (✨ the little sparkles ✨) is used in the background every time but this time it plays in front of Sun-Ah’s view: she sees in Yohan and his mansion a « shining » thing she desired for a long time. The bokeh here served also as a transition to the flashback right after.

Well, it could just be the streetlights’ reflections on the car and me reaching but there are so many symbolic visual shots in this show already i just couldn’t dismiss it in my brain haha

I liked Sun-Ah’s depiction of her choice to go against Yohan: she drops the necklace (symbolizing Yohan, this scene followed by Yohan’s cross-like scar) and not herself, like she did in the past for/because of Yohan when she was a maid + Yohan’s reflection disappears, Sun-Ah only focusing on herself: the ‘us’ she wanted for some time disappeared. And this event makes Sun-Ah’s rage on K more upsetting than it already is, but maybe i’m reaching haha

This scene also shows Yohan and Sun-Ah want two different directions to their relationship: to use her and to have him reach the top by her side respectively. They both look at the mirror, but their focus is different and they’re set in different plans on the shots.

In My Mister, (SPOILERS) the wife has a serious affair with her husband’s superior, but throughout the drama, they have divergent opinions on their affair’s developments: the wife wanted to leave her husband and settle with her lover, while the latter didn’t think any of it and, among other plot reasons, only wanted her because married women are the ‘safest choice (ending the relationship while she still loves him would be more troublesome) and always kept the affair secret’.

This was particularly symbolized by their song preferences, but also by this shot in the beginning of the series: after the wife shared her hopes about their relationship (and her lover staying most of the time silent), they both look to the distance (their affair’s metaphorical future) but their eyes almost never look in the same direction.

- « I did it because i need you (by my side?) », Sun-Ah and Gaon’s parallels:

"[To Gaon on ep. 8] I wanted you to be by my side.”

“[To Gaon on ep. 5] I don’t need you to understand, but you need to make a decision. Will you stand in my way … or stand on my side?”

"[To Gaon] If i needed to, i would’ve done something even worse. Whether it was switching him or something else.”

- When Elijah and Gaon play jenga, Yohan might have let the door to his bedroom open (even after leaving them the first time) to continue hearing them have fun in the living room. It parallels to the scene in ep. 5 where he watches them play in the garden with Kkomi through the little gap of his curtains: what piques his curiosity first is the playful conversation he hears from his bed even from the closed windows. The flashback explains it all and i’m glad Gaon insisted to have him play with them despite the front he tried to put on, Elijah’s and Yohan’s expressions in this scene ended me ;;

Look how quick he turned his attention to Gaon, as if he waited for something to happen, to get to play with them!! His eyes lit up in an instant i can’t with this —

I loved how Yohan delayed his defeat to Elijah by asking Gaon questions about the game hahah

Elijah and Yohan’s relationship growth here reminds me of 2 parallels i didn’t catch the first time (but the desperation i felt when Gaon left because everything could grow cold again between Elijah and Yohan):

“That’s everything i think about”:

Elijah getting in & out of the car (ep. 6-9):

- And Gaon’s « Once everything is over, i’ll definitely … » — you’ll definitely what, please tell the audienceeeeeeee ;;;; this screams a death flag for Soohyun (or was it just foreshadowing their confrontation in ep. 12? idek anymore haha), but let’s hope it’s not!!

- After CKH’s suicide: we can’t expect people to make perfect choices every time they are challenged, and i think this story shows it well: Soohyun when she was with Elijah, and now Gaon carelessly touching the minister’s body for the files. As judges, they could have searched the body and the room using a fabric to hide their presence. But they’re both shocked: Yohan looks dumbfounded, standing and watching (even though he’s quicker to react when he sees Soohyun and he puts on a composure at the house saying it was ‘nothing’, he looked very sour when Sun-Ah called him to rejoice in her death) and Gaon panic-stricken. The fact he might have relived his parents’ suicide when he discovered the Minister’s body … And in the worst way possible (in a daze, searching her dead body for her files and realizing he didn’t give the body minimum respect) … oof

At least Yohan could have thought about it since the story shows how prepared he is in his plans, but this scene shows even him is at a loss at what to do. After all, the minister was the way he targeted to bring everyone linked to the foundation down. They were so close, i think he was too convinced her « self-pity » would mean her survival despite everything (« Do you have any other options? ») to see what was coming. After all, when they last met, he saw she was about to shoot him.

Sun-Ah was the only one he thought was ‘unpredictable’. When Gaon talked to CKH, he let him speak and approved his speech, surely thinking everything went along his plans and the minister would surrender. And i think that’s also why he gives Gaon all this speech, to reassure himself and them, since they work now as a team.

- Ep. 9 foreshadowing ep. 11 and 12 (Soohyun facing Yohan and Gaon). It’s interesting how the two shots from ep. 9 seem to put on the same plan the three characters, as if Yohan is literally standing between Soohyun and Gaon, as if he was the one protecting/separating him from Soohyun. This is very telling of the whole dynamic between those three.

- When the minister said she didn’t want to clear her name regarding her son in the live but still does so anyway, this is pure preterition haha! It’s also why she reminds the public opinion the first case Yohan handled!

- Cha Kyung Hee’s demise (ep. 11-4 parallels):

(+ a cinematographic reference to the 2000 movie Malèna, which was recently used in Hwasa’s MV for the song Maria)

- The scene right after where Soohyun wipes Gaon’s involvement to the suicide was moving in regards to her character, we get to see how torn she is by this situation + when she faces off Yohan in the parking (and the ‘let go’ could also have referred to Gaon) … i felt bad for her!

- About Soohyun & the professor: I find interesting the way the professor and Soohyun shelter Gaon’s existence was clearly shown with these two episodes and through their rage. At the beginning of the drama, their hold on his life’s values and choices was almost impalpable but not anymore, now that they’re facing Yohan’s threat.

In these shots, Soohyun looks like she is covering Gaon’s ear, turning him away and protecting him from outside (from the pain, Yohan, the rest of the world).

And on professor Min’s part, it’s almost infantilizing, de-responsibilizing Gaon to say the least (« What are you making Gaon do? That child has been through so much. He suffered and struggled through the worst to get there. »), given he’s the one who planted him on the court’s bench to find what’s happening behind the scene: he could have asked Gaon for explanations (as Yohan underlined, « Did you hear it from Gaon himself? ») but he just snaps at him. He should have foreseen that he could’ve taken Yohan’s side.

For his defense, his family just got targeted but still, it’s the first time Gaon came back since then!

(By the way, that whole conversation with professor Min confirmed to Yohan Gaon didn’t admit to their plan to Soohyun nor the professor)

As for Soohyun, her deep concern for Gaon makes her antagonize Yohan and, in her POV, it’s pretty understandable: her friend got locked up in this judge’s house for days with no phone or permission to go out + said judge seems to not let her niece go out with her new friends, got violent against Gaon + he seems to be plotting something behind the trials he biased + Gaon’s description of the man in the first episodes wasn’t that nice but DESPITE IT ALL her friend still seems to be empathizing with him?

She’s maybe thinking he got manipulated by Yohan given the evil picture he depicted her & must feel helpless in front of Gaon’s sudden change of heart. I think that’s what she wanted to ask him when she got cut by the professor’s arrival. The lack of honest conversation between them is what’s making it worse: on one hand, Gaon goes to her every time he feels sad or confused to get comfort & advice without telling what truly is going on (or eventually telling her when she insists), on the other hand, Soohyun always tells him to give up his investigation on Yohan and never asks him his point of view to understand the situation.

And she discovered he lied about him not being involved with this man in the worst way possible, finding him by CKH’s body with Yohan. He was her reason to dedicate her life to protect people under the law (he does not owe her anything in no way, but it was her wish), and she ended up dirtying her hands for him. Her gut reaction to her moral principles being violated by both Gaon and her right now is stronger than wanting to hear the truth from Gaon. She continues to investigate Yohan on her own, to protect him. It was interesting to see this sententious side when she confronted Gaon after all this! The only time Soohyun saw him cry and didn’t support him, it hits hard ;;

But i believe the whole crisis that’s happening by the end of ep. 12 will make them team up again at least for a while. And on that note, will she meet Sun-Ah? It would be interesting!

I’m glad the professor raised as a concern on the live trials the due process & fair trial, which are essential for the rule of law to prosper.

In fact, the live trials slowly become a place of majoritarianism/ochlocracy/mob rule as the cases progress (the two best examples being the actor and Juk Chang cases), the protests against professor Min are another example. Even if Yohan has the last word on the defendant’s sentence, this issue is still there.

Maybe the viewers’ voice will turn against Yohan one day?

- The minister … Even though the story showed us how cruel her family could be, i can’t help but feel sympathy for her son with her suicide. And that is accentuated by the fact her family’s grief is not even showed, covered by the mediatic chaos. She could have fled the country as her son suggested, but she thought she was « nothing » without her accomplishments and her path to glory. As the former president of the foundation killed by Sun-Ah’s hands, she died in her office as the Minister of Justice, while her image wasn’t torn to shreds yet. The photograph she held showed her at the center and, ironically, it’s the only figure from the photo who is clear-cut, her husband and her son are out of focus (or it could just be the episode’s image quality misleading me haha). Even though she loved them (well, at least in her manner, which was kind of narcissistic tbh), she cared too much for her success and her death was her act of self-pity.

- This isn’t the first time Gaon was warned about Yohan and i find it interesting it’s the people closest to him that say that, especially K despite (or precisely because?) his loyalty to him. Elijah also warned him before.

- The whole argument … It’s a progression of ep. 5 & 8 scenes (’will you stand in my way or stand on my side?’ & ‘i wanted you by my side and if i needed to, i would’ve done something worse’). You can tell how desperate Yohan was when he reached out to Gaon. His gaze faltered, showing his hesitation to do it, but as the realization he was going to lose him dawned on him, this touch became a necessity in front of the exigency, making up for everything he couldn’t say out loud. It was a sad & hurtful mess. Yohan truly looked short on ‘arguments’ after Gaon’s question (‘what kind of monster am i turning into?’), he seemed to not even know what to say to make him stay, making him pause before talking about Soohyun.

The way his eyes lit up, almost smiling, full of hope, when he finished laying his ultimatum and how he regained a composed expression, thinking Gaon would take his side maybe?

I didn’t catch it on the first time, but Gaon’s sadness to end/put a hold on their collaboration (thus their whole relationship, stepping out of his life) transpired through him weakly rejecting Yohan’s hand with his own hand sliding down the latter's arm, as if he was unwilling to let this life with the Kangs go. You can see it’s hard on him to leave with the tears in his eyes.

I think Gaon’s response outran his thoughts, as a quick riposte, it was to make Yohan stop this. The way things went (well, it escalated QUICKLY), hurting him like that was the only effective way, and he knows it will hurt him: before saying Soohyun is his world, he tears up because of that (in addition to everything Yohan said and it was A LOT), and didn’t even have the strength/will to get angry like all the previous times:

the fact Yohan laid this very ultimatum and wanted to persuade/manipulate him into thinking this was the only choice. Even if he knew Yohan would be capable of doing this since ep. 7-8 (”To achieve his goal, would he not use another man’s pain? If the devil really did exist among us.”), he got a confirmation and it still hurts.

+ the fact he knows he has to hurt him with something as much as hurtful before he takes it too far.

+ the fact he knows he can’t live in this house any longer because of this argument when he made all these memories with them.

And (let’s hope for it) if Gaon wants to show Yohan there’s another way out of this ultimatum, Gaon’s « Soohyun is my world » might be a counter ultimatum (‘to stay by your side, you’ll have to deal with my world because there must be another way, there is no question, or else you’ll have to deal on your own’). He’s still not said anything to Soohyun (well, he didn’t have the opportunity to anyway but even during their confrontation, when she asked for details, he said nothing) nor the professor, so maybe that’s it?

- « Of course it doesn’t matter to me, but … » ELIJAH NOOOOOOOO ;;;;;;;;; After Yohan, Elijah tries in her way to hold Gaon back — and she makes a valid point tbh (look at what happened by the end of the episode!), but seeing her putting all her efforts and realizing it’s failing is heartbreaking … Given the preview for ep. 13, please let me hope this conversation won’t be their last one!!

- Utter devastation when the next scenes show how Gaon still shines even in his absence: the « You never apologize » + the scene with the nanny & Gaon’s last prepared meal + Gaon’s portrait by Elijah … ugh

- Elijah’s painting game is too strong, can’t relate haha! I wish they could show the BTS for this painting, respect for the artist behind!!

- On metaphorical images, Gaon took care of the Kangs like he tended to his plants at home. On a regular basis, he provided them attention and care, making them lively as his plants got lush. On ep. 8, we got a shot of Elijah smiling at Gaon’s plants, sort of a confirmation she loved how their house became warmer since Gaon’s stay, which led her to open up to his uncle.

- Now they’re only four! It looks like the mafia game haha, i look forward (am i though?) to the day Sun-Ah sits by herself haha

AND THIS MAN

This is true pig behavior, especially considering Sun-Ah’s past … I felt her reaction when he said all this bs to demean her, she had all her struggles with men thrown back to her face, soiled by these « jokes ».

- The monsters, the abyss and Nietzsche:

« He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster. And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee. », Nietzsche

- « I don’t care if humanity falls, as long as i have you two ». It was what he wouldn’t say to Gaon nor Elijah, and yet they’re his world! This sequence parallels Gaon’s inner wish when he leaves the Kang’s house + the flashbacks of his fond memories with the Kangs. Will Yohan give his vigilante ideals up for them? Will Gaon pursue this dream but in his own way that won’t threaten their « worlds »?

(Now we know what his whole world meant)

- The light from the chandelier (ie. their newfound family) is out of Yohan’s (metaphorical) reach, shown by its blurred silhouette, as if it’s gone from the room which regained its initial colder tones. But it’s not: once it’s made its way in the room, it remains and lingers, as a keepsake of the lost warmth. His fond memories with Gaon and Elijah flashed back through the window’s light.

On a similar note, Gaon’s room, albeit having warmer tones than the Kang’s ones since the beginning, looks dark too. The contrast with earlier episodes is clear. This reminds me of My Mister’s (SPOILERS) full shots of Lee Ji An’s room, getting warmer as she gets to know Park Dong Hoon, and losing all its fond colors when she has to leave for his sake. As if the room and inanimate objects were given life by their owner, imbuing them with their feelings. It becomes an outer expression of their feelings. Sorry for the rambling but i just love when they do that in fiction, and i think it sometimes leaves more impact to the viewers if emotions are conveyed through various angles (eg. through another character’s point of view, sounds, looks, the use of light i mentioned below, etc) !

- I wonder … since the flashbacks are giving us Gaon’s conscious point of view on this separation, was he awake when Yohan came back from his (forced) encounter with Sun-Ah? It’s a really minor point but it could be an interesting detail since this show always shows us there are some sides or spots to the stories we didn’t have yet!

The jenga scene also flashed back but this time we see Gaon’s POV seeing Yohan’s smile & we got Gaon’s angle when Yohan had a nightmare in ep. 5: while from Yohan’s POV, Gaon’s irruption truly felt like an invasion of his intimacy (the quick succession of shots expressing his panic and defensive reaction), from Gaon’s POV only one angle showed the scene, the tension was conveyed only when Yohan slapped his hand away.

We also got Yohan’s POV when he admitted to Gaon he needed him by his side (and a closer look at Gaon’s troubled expression)!

- Ep. 5 and 11-12 parallels:

Yohan’s tentative look at Gaon and Elijah playing outside, as if he wanted to join them like in ep. 11, the curtains mainly closed and only pushed by one of his hands. It let the daylight in his dark room through this sneak peek.

But in ep. 12, the curtains are drawn, Yohan taking the (moon)light fully in. And this time, he doesn’t reach out to his late brother in the flames, but to the moonlight. He gets up, as in a trance, from his nightmare like the last time, but he goes to his window instead. And it reminds me of both Huckleberry Finn’s OST’s (in Tempest, « you said i’ll live in the sun / moonlight » and in The Nights, « my / your night shines on you / me »), the suffer is here. And see how the light reveals his tear? I nearly missed it!

The fact he could not find sleep anymore after this night + he slept on his sofa where the moonlight could be seen + has kept his phone right next to him (in case Gaon called him or to know if something happened to him) ➾ 🌝 pure devastation 🌝

- I really love the show’s use of light/dark tones to reveal and contrast its characters’ emotions! What you can’t see in the light gets revealed in the dark, and vice-versa. The OST The Nights touches on this subject as well.

And it ties up very well to the plot so far: everyone has his or her own motivations and intentions, background, and makes choices, but depending on the perspective, their story changes and sparks off different reactions. Everybody’s story is interconnected.

As @skylessnights pointed out, one of the books found during the series (when Yohan revealed his past to Gaon if i’m correct), The God of Small Things by Arundhati Roy, depicts this angle well in its plot and epigraph: « Never again shall a single story be told as though it were the only one. » - John Berger.

When Gaon and Yohan go back to the mansion after CKH’s death, the route lights flash Gaon’s hands red, caught (literally) red-handed by Soohyun. He begins to recollect his recent memories of what just happened, and panics, short-winded, until Yohan touched his arm. He’s startled but calmed himself down, and we don’t hear him out of breath anymore. It’s interesting how the light’s focus was on Gaon’s hands, the core of his panic, until Yohan’s arm came into the light, as if our and Gaon’s attention went back to Yohan’s touch, his anchor in his panic, and begins to think clear-headed of what they had done. (btw, getting Phoenix Wright desperate vibes from Gaon’s pose haha)

Gaon’s emotions show when his phone lights up, trying to reach Soohyun again.

When Yohan’s inner wish brings him back to their happy times, the end of the flashback shows a shot of his eyes dazzled by the light of these memories and back to the present, the light now gone out from his eyes.

Yohan’s reaction to Gaon’s cry in the prison yard in ep. 7: what i loved to see was how his restraint told more about the emotions he held back. The light shifting on his face revealed his jaw clenching & frowned brows, his glassy eyes and him averting his gaze, which he often does when he’s in front of sensitive topics and it’s too much.

+ other instances he looked away:

When Jinjoo decides to accept the foundation’s offer, she steps into the dark side of the room where the two chairmen are. Up till now, she stood where the light could reach her, away from them. It symbolically seals her involvement with the foundation, and by the end of ep. 12, it is confirmed by her message on behalf of the foundation (about the plague) displayed on the screens. By the way, i love the fact so much things unfold while we focus on Yohan and Gaon’s story!

On the subject of ‘subjective’ truths, examples, besides the flashback with the priest about Yohan in ep. 11, could be the truth behind the cancellation of the donation by Yohan or Sun-Ah’s fall from the window when she was a maid. We got Sun-Ah, Elijah, and then later Yohan’s point of view.

- I think Gaon tried to call Soohyun and not Yohan (though the subs say otherwise) because the contact above has the ‘thug’ nickname with the fist emoji! It made more sense, Yohan would’ve answered right away! But i believe he will have regrets/worries in the next episodes (Yohan and Elijah seem to be getting in real danger so maybe he’ll come back to save them).

- Metatextuality in The Devil Judge — Beauty and the Beast (written by Jeanne-Marie Leprince de Beaumont & Disney’s 1991 animation movie)

I’ve always loved transtextual relationships between fictions, my french teacher in middle school gave us this passion haha! Ever since i read this interview translated by @deviljudge, it’s true i’m getting more and more Beauty and the Beast vibes, especially from ep. 12’s argument (and the whole premise Belle got locked up in the mansion in the beginning)! The original fairy tale and Disney’s adaptation are both relevant, some plot points differ from one another (Belle’s sisters vs Gaston, the mansion personnel turned into living paraphernalia) even though the core of the fairy tale is left untouched but for the sake of this bit, i’ll use the 1991 movie because its inevitably longer format delves more into the fairy tale moral lesson.

(Cheesy time incoming haha) The beast lets Belle go see her father he knew she deeply cared about, and let her go because he realized he loved her. He thought she would never come back, but despite it all, she came back and saved him from Gaston. Belle (Gaon) broke the spell that was casted on the mansion (the Kangs and their loneliness, especially when Yohan said he’s tired of this house). Yohan fails at not hurting the people he cares about but learns step by step, by Gaon and Elijah's side, how to live again and reconnect with his ‘human’ side.

Even the secretary looks like the modern version of the whole cast in the Beast’s mansion (Cogsworth, Lumière, …) haha

The movie intro is self-explanatory:

« Although he had everything his heart desired, the prince was spoiled, selfish and unkind. But then, one winter’s night, an old beggar woman came to the castle and offered him a single rose in return for shelter from the bitter cold. Repulsed by her haggard appearance, the prince sneered at the gift and turned the old woman away. But she warned him not to be deceived by appearances, for beauty is found within. And when he dismissed her again, the old woman’s ugliness melted away to reveal a beautiful enchantress. The prince tried to apologize, but it was too late, for she had seen that there was no love in his heart. And as punishment, she transformed him into a hideous beast and placed a powerful spell on the castle and all who lived there. Ashamed of his monstrous form, the Beast concealed himself inside his castle with a magic mirror as his only window to the outside world. The rose she had offered was truly an enchanted rose, which would bloom until his 21st year. If he could learn to love another, and earn her love in return by the time the last petal fell, then the spell would be broken. If not, he would be doomed to remain a beast for all time. As the years passed, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for who could ever learn to love a beast? »

Belle’s characterization in the movie is also interesting:

« With a dreamy, far-off look and her nose stuck in her book what a puzzle to the rest of us is Belle ».

« There must be more than this provincial life (…) I want adventure in the great wide somewhere — I want it more than i can tell — And for once it might be grand to have someone understand — I want so much more than they’ve got planned »

& when Belle got locked up in the mansion: « I’ve lost my father, my dreams, everything. » (similar to “Soohyun is my world”).

Gaon, since his parents’ death, lived his life believing in the illusion of justice the system gave him, along with Soohyun and professor Min, his two pillars who kept him steady this whole time. Once he was showed it was an illusion, he wanted to fight this world.

Before the movie’s climax, this conversation reminded me of ep. 12’s argument:

« - Belle? Are you happy here with me?

- Yes. [looks to the distance]

- What is it?

- If only i could see my father again just for a moment. I miss him so much.

- There is a way. This mirror will show you anything. Anything you wish to see.

- I’d like to see my father, please. [The mirror projects the image of his father in danger and sick] Papa. Oh no. He’s sick. He may be dying and he’s all alone.

- [Glances at the wilting rose] Then you must go to him.

- What did you say?

- I release you. You’re no longer my prisoner.

- You mean i’m free?

- Yes.

- Oh, thank you. Hold on Papa, i’m on my way.

- Take [the mirror] with you, so you’ll always have a way to look back and remember me.

- Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.

(…)

- I let her go.

- [Cogsworth] Yes, splen … You what? How could you do that?

- I had to.

- Yes but … Why?

- Because i love her. »

Yohan did nothing to hold Gaon back even if he needs him (as shown when he clutches his hands together after he left) because he was forced by Gaon to understand how precious Soohyun is to him, this point was already made multiple times in the series (when Gaon thought he was the one who pushed Soohyun in the stairs and already threatened him about it, when Gaon told him he couldn’t live as a conman in front of Soohyun and his parents). Since his ‘to have you by my side, i would have done worse if it was necessary’ + ‘this is a life or death situation, sacrifices are also necessary’, he seemed to think Soohyun was expendable in his own world, which he shared with Gaon. With this argument, his world looks definitely incompatible with the one Gaon described (« Soohyun is my world »), and even though they already went this far in their plan, he lets him go and respects his choice. Will it make him change for the better or for the worse? Will the whole ‘absence makes the heart grow fonder’ apply to him?

Other moments i found interesting to note:

« Come into the light »:

When Belle goes to save the Beast from the village:

« - Please, i know he looks vicious, but he’s really kind and gentle. He’s my friend. - - [Gaston] If i didn’t know better, I’d think you had feelings for this monster. - - He’s no monster, Gaston. You are! - - If you’re not with us, you’re against us. » (pretty similar to the professor’s rage in the hospital)

When Belle’s father goes to save her: « I don’t care what it takes. I’ll find that castle and somehow, i … I’ll get her out of there. » (when Soohyun talks about and to Yohan)

The Beast possessive behavior in the beginning of the story: « [To her father] She��s no longer your concern, take him to the village. » (similar to Yohan’s behavior towards Soohyun) & « [To Belle] The castle is your home now » (and towards Gaon)

A monster:

When the Beast observes Belle playing from afar:

- And i saw some Jane Eyre vibes (SPOILERS) from the whole fire haha + Wuthering Heights on Sun-Ah’s & Yohan’s mixed parts!

- And well … Sun-Ah’s character loosely reminds me of Simone in Nier Automata (which in itself is a reference to Simone de Beauvoir’s life and works), with the whole « I must become more beautiful / But he still won’t look my way », to whoever knows this game!

- These thigh boots holy hell Sun-Ah!!!! i loved this outfit!

- As soon as he said he didn’t feel anything from his revenge, K got the biggest death flag in this episode, i can’t believe they did this to the poor boy … When i asked for more scenes THIS isn’t what i meant aaaaaaaaaa

- A very random and weird note: Yohan’s almost silent and held back pain by the end of the ep. 12 fits his character so far, as well as his ‘calm’ tears. Given his past, it’s as if he’s always kept his pain bottled up and quietly bears it all and almost never got the space to properly let it all out (he had his brother, but with their father, i think they didn’t have this ‘chance’).

- My sick mind thought Sun-Ah was going to bring Gaon to the scene just in time for him to witness Yohan getting shot, but i guess it will be when she will get in the Kang’s mansion again according to the preview (since she asked Juk Chang for a « favor », i think they’ll knock Gaon out after beating him up for his own fun to leave him to Sun-Ah). Sun-Ah looked surprised when Jae-Hee shot him, so i guess only hurting K was part of the plan.

- The ‘I know i’m fucked’ look hahaha

+ the softer version:

- I now have BIG trust issues since these last episodes’ previews, and the cliffhangers kill me haha

- On another note, i find it amazing how Ji Sung and Kim Min Jung keep that upsetting atmosphere whenever there’s a scene between them that involves them and skinship, but it still conveys Sun-Ah’s complex feelings for Yohan and Yohan’s interest in her! The soundtrack really does a good job to convey that mood as well!

- In conclusion: How Dramatic do you want these two episodes to be? The devil judge: Yes

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings #got veeeeery long #i'm sorry

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lovemesomeharry · 4 years

Text

MAKE YOU MINE

Warnings: Curse words, angst, smut

Words: 8.6k

Summary: Harry and Y/N have been friends for a long time until Harry catches feelings and everything gets worse before things get better.

Y/N had always seen him as a star, always shining bright in the most devine color. Everybody knew and saw that he was the sharpest one among everyone but he would never dare to brag about it. To him, everybody was shining too and that just made him even more beautiful.

That's why Y/N loved to observe him. Whether it was him on stage, singing his soul out, and losing control in the best way possible just to make the crowd go wild and become alive.

Or he could be working and his best friend would try to remember in which angle the tip of his tongue stuck out between his rosy lips and his nose would twitch slightly when he was whispering his written words to himself just to let it taste on his tongue.

Or it could be in a situation like this one right here. Y/N watched him how he interacted with people, slightly tipsy, giggling too much and awfully affectionate. Those adorable dimples appeared on his cheeks as he flashed a wide smile to anyone that came to his sight. She couldn't hear what he was saying but it didn't prevent her own smile from appearing on her face as if she’d been a part of the conversation. Even if Harry was telling one of his usual bad jokes, everybody would still end up laughing because it was Harry who told them and he was so damn good at selling those awful jokes.

Y/N wouldn’t say that she was the opposite of Harry, but no one has ever come close to Harry’s charm and his approachable body language. He was a people's person and no one could deny it.

As the night went on Harry kept on drinking and became cuddlier, gigglier and his need to talk to his beat friend grew immensely.

Once he had spotted her a wider grin adorned his face if it was possible at this point, and anyone must have wondered how it didn't hurt to smile like that. He hadn't seen much of her because he was too busy chatting up the other guests, but he was about to change that.

“Y/N.” His words were slurred and a giggle followed right after he was successful at scaring her by approaching her from behind and nearly shouting into her ear.

She turned around, with a pouty mouth, and slapped Harry’s tattooed arm. “Why would you do that, asshole?”

Harry rubbed at the place where she had slapped him, even though her hit wasn't hard and he wasn't really in pain. “Ouch! You’re so mean. I just wanted to talk to you.” With his finger, he tapped the tip of her nose. “Wouldn’t have come here if I knew you were gonna be a meanie to me.” He moved his face right in front of hers and she could totally smell the alcohol he must have in his system.

“What do you mean? When have I ever been nice to you? I can't stand you.” Now she was grinning from one ear to the other as she watched how Harry’s faced dropped. She loved to mess with him but when he was drunk it was a lot funnier. His brain couldn't comprehend the sarcasm and it made him believe that she was saying the truth.

His eyes lost his previous spark and the corners of his mouth were turned upside down as he let the one curl fall onto his forehead to cover up the crease forming between his two eyebrows.

He looked so adorable, but of course, Y/N wasn't the one who would tell him that.

“Take that back.” His tone was demanding but whiny and he crossed his arms in front of his chest as he took a step closer to her. He strengthened his posture but in his drunken state it just looked too funny and Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at his poor attempting to be intimidating. It just made him even more unhappy, as he put both of his hands at each side of her head and pressed his hot skin on the cool wall, coming so close to her that their noses almost touched.

She felt his hot breath on her upper lip as she shook her head. “No, I never liked you. Deal with it.”

Both were staring at each other and totally forgot the people around them and what situation they were in. The only sound they heard was their own heartbeat as they canceled out the rest of their world.

His green eyes looked at her slightly opened mouth and for a short moment, he hesitated before he pressed his lips to hers. She let out a surprised squeak when she felt his soft mouth on hers, sloppily kissing her. The kiss was short and she couldn't really comprehend it when he let go of her. “How do you like me now?” His voice was deep enough go make chills run down her spine and she couldn't believe what just happened.

He really kissed hee, his best fucking friend. She could still feel his soft mouth on hers and taste the bitter alcohol he had previously.

Y/N felt like as if she was dreaming, but when Harry just walked away she knew it wasn't one. In her dreams, he never walked away afterward.

She didn't really know what to make of this situation and tried to keep a cool head but the fast-beating heart in her chest made it not an easy task.

Would he remember him kissing her? Was he going to regret it? Are things going to be awkward between them from now on?

As bad she wanted to reminisce the kiss and do this again, she was scared that their friendship was hanging on a thread. So her enjoyment was cut short painfully for the rest of the night.

When Harry came by her house with fresh croissants and two coffees Y/N swore her heart stopped for a second.

He looked not as happy as he did a few hours ago and dark shadows painted his skin right underneath his eyes. He looked so tried but tried to cover it up by wearing a beanie and a gigantic hoodie. But it just ended up making him look even more tired and cuddly at the same time.

Y/N really wanted to focus on his looks but after what happened yesterday she hadn't had a chance to talk to him about the kiss. It was making her crazy not knowing what was going through the brits head.

The small voice inside her head told her he was going to regret it. He’d let go of her and wonder how he could have ever done that. He was going to call her names, or at least that's what her head told her. Even though she knew exactly Harry would never go as low as to call her names, she still feared the possibility. Even if it was.t his nature. Besides she wouldn't know how to feel if he’d ever been so rude to her. It would entirely mess up her confidence because she cared about his opinion too much for her own liking.

“Are you ok?” He had asked after staring at her for a solid minute and her not catching him doing so. A worried look took over his soft features as both of them sat down on both ends of her white couch. Much to Harry’s displeasure who wanted her to sit closer to him.

“What?” She shook her head as if she was trying to get those thoughts out of her head. “I’m fine.”

Suspiciously Harry raised his eyebrow. “No, you're not. You’ve been awfully quiet, love.” His leg was bouncing up and down and his entire body sank into the couch. He looked relaxed and Y/N wondered how he was so calm when inside her she was in such troubles. How was he so calm when it was his fault that she was in such a troublesome situation?

She was going to ask him about the kiss, but he was a bit faster and began to speak. “Is it because I kissed Naomi?”

Now Y/N’s head perked up. “Naomi?”

He nodded his head. “Yeah, I was a bit too drunk and kissed her. She texted me this morning asking what that meant.” He sighed as he pat his left leg. “It was so awkward. I had to explain to her that I didn’t think much of it.”

Y/N tried to listen to her best friend as he went on about it, but she couldn't really listen anymore when the small voice laughed at her. Of course, he didn't think much of it and he probably doesn't think much of the kiss they both shared, apparently on the very same night too. But she couldn't help but wonder if he could assume what she was feeling for him? Did he kiss anybody else? Could he still remember their kiss the way she did?

Why would he when he could have anyone? Harry always loved the attention he got from girls and was just taking advantage of his situation.

But Y/N just wished he wouldn't have brought her into this mess, because her heart was too fragile to come out without any bruises.

He's actually gonna try to let it go. He asks his heart to beat slower each time, but he can't get it right when he sees her in front of him.

With her wide smiles, her bright eyes and the loving charisma that she radiates so naturally, everywhere and at all times, it is impossible for him to keep a clear head. And if he is completely honest with himself, he does not want to keep a clear head when it means that she will not take up most of the space in his brain.

Ever since he had first heard her voice, it had echoed in his ear. Day and night. But it was not a nightmare. On the contrary. Her soft voice sounded like his new favourite song that he could listen to in a continuous loop without ever being saturated by it. Fuck. He would even play it at his concerts, he loved it so much.

That's how beautiful he thought she was.

He never wanted to admit to himself that she had his vulnerable heart in her hand and could do whatever she wanted and he wouldn't stop her. She could ram thousands of knives through it and he would thank her with a painful smile.

He felt pathetic. He felt so helpless. But most, he felt so stupid.

But it got worse when his eyes gleamed with jealousy. The sparks that sparkled for her were mixed with the gasoline that his jealousy fed him. A menacing fire was seething inside him, ready to spread. But it was not a fire of passion that spread a pleasant warmth in his body, but something that could destroy everything around him.

Harry was never a person who longed for revenge or liked to see others suffer. He is really not a sadist, but in that moment he became one.

Because a stranger dared to touch his Y/N where he should not touch her. He wanted to stomp to them and drag him off her.

But he could not do that.

First of all, that wouldn't do him any favors, because it would be just what the the press was waiting for. They already loved to fabricate the wildest stories about him, so, he didn’t really need to give them the satisfaction of a real story.

And second, the more pressing matter, she was not his Y/N. At least not in the way that he would like her to be.

That's why he leaned against the cool wall, sipped on his beer, and watched the two of them with eyebrows drawn together instead of doing anything. At least for now he decided to lay low.

He didn't even understand what she found attractive enough about him to let him talk to her. The stranger seemed like a lowered version of Michael B. Jordan, yet he seemed to be able to make her laugh. Her eyes always sparkled with the stars and Harry wished so much that he was the reason for it and not the prick in front of her.

Jealousy clouded his vision because Y/N felt that the stranger in front of her, whose name was Nick, was not a condescending version but came so damn close to the actor that the sight softened her knees. He bared his straight teeth when the opportunity presented itself and she could swear that she saw her own reflection in them.

“Would you like to continue this conversation in private?” Nick asked, coming dangerously close to her ear. She smelled his strong perfume and felt his hot breath tickling her skin. She sucked the air sharply and bit onto her lower lip as he graced her earlobe. An exciting sensation ran through her sensitive body parts but mostly, she could feel the tingling sensation between her legs. It had been too long since she’s been with a man.

Her fingers ran up and down the edge of her glass as she nodded. She tried not to appear too excited, but she didn't suspect she was doing a good job, as a playful grin spread across his handsome face.

The more she was pleased, the angrier her best friend became, still staring at them with an eagle eye, as if he was ready to grab his prey any minute before anyone else got the chance. Harry couldn't hear what she was saying, nor could he lip-read, which he regretted at that moment, but his alarm bells began to ring when the stranger stood up and took her delicate hand in his.

It hadn't taken him a minute to act and if his brain hadn't been completely clouded he would have thought he was foolish. How could he run after a girl who is only his best friend? She gets to go anywhere with whoever she pleases. Even if it was a Walmart version of an actor.

As he stood just inches away from the guy, he realized what he was doing and how ridiculous he probably looked. It's not like he didn't has his fair share on body counts.

But before he could change his mind, Y/N glimpsed at him with a questioning look. She raised her left eyebrow, almost as if to ask him if everything was okay.

Harry wanted to say no, even scream it out loud. But he choked out what was going through his mind at that moment. “I-I've lost my car keys.”

In his mind, he threw a bunch of curse words at himself and he would have absolutely no problem if a black hole appeared underneath him that could suck him in.

“What?” He heard Y/N's confused voice and the stranger finally looked at him. On his face, Harry could see the amusement again. Of course, he thought Harry was a fool and he, too, admitted to being one.

He swallowed the lump down his throat. “I can't find them anymore.” Harry had no intention of making that sentence sound like a question because it made his obvious lie even more obvious.

“Is it in your po-”

“-No” He nearly blurted it out. “You got to help me.”

Y/N looked sceptically at Harry. She knew him well enough to be sure he would never lose his car keys. He could lose his rings, but he would never lose his car keys. His car collection, which consisted almost entirely of vintage cars, was his pride and joy and he treated them like his own children.

Visibly annoyed and irritated by his actions, she sighed. “Are you sure?”

He just nodded and she struggled with the urge to ditch him to have her fun with Nick. But how could she be so heartless and abandon her best friend, even though he lied to her straight on without batting an eyelid? But somehow his eyebrows furrowed and the nervous lip chewing had gotten to her. So she turned to Nick with an apologetic look, but he understood the situation completely and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry.”

He laughed. “Don't worry about it. I get it.” For a brief moment, Nick looked at Harry and put his best smirk on his face to show him he understood Harry's true intentions. But that didn't stop him from whispering something into Y/N's ear and gently kissing the spot behind her it.

Harry's eyes were about to fly out or Nick was about to fly across the room. He couldn't decide what would happen, but his guess was on the second one.

Y/N nodded after the stranger and when her eyes finally met Harry's they suddenly became cold and annoyed. A shiver ran down his spine when he realized that and he really knows which fuses were blown that he had freed her from that guy.

“I have seen the keys-” he started, but Y/N interrupted him with a horrified laugh.

“Cut the bullshit, Harry. I know you didn't lose your fucking keys.”

He had to swallow hard, but his throat still felt dry. He thought about what he could say to her, but her annoyed look somehow cut off the oxygen to his brain. So he was forced to take his emerald eyes off hers and instead looked through the crowd in the club that was already staring at them.

“Can we settle this somewhere else?” With his painted index finger he pointed in the direction of the curious onlookers, which is why she agreed.

It was at moments like these that she completely forgot who he really was. He is not just her best friend, a colossal pain in her ass, but also an A-list celebrity.

Harry exhaled the hot air, and gratefully grabbed her arm to pull her along.

He pulled her all the way outside, where the cool air whipped Y/N's skin and she only now realized how stuffy it was inside. The glowing moon stared down at them as Harry ran to his car. As they stood in front of it, his eyes drilled holes in her head and she raised her arms on her hips.

“Cat got your tongue?” She first broke the tense silence.

It took a moment longer before he finally found the ability to think clearly again, but his eyes were too busy marveling at her delicate features in the moonlight. He had to admit that the light made her look even more magical and her skin practically glittered. He tried to turn his eyes away from her, but she looked so ethereal and it didn't help him that he got to see so much of her soft skin. To do himself a bittersweet favor, Harry opened his car door with the supposedly lost key, which made Y/N laugh sarcastically and get into the car after him.

She was right.

“I didn't lose my car keys.”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

He reached his hand through his frizzy curls, which were slightly sweaty. “The guy was... weird.” He sighed slightly frustrated with her for not dropping the topic but also himself for getting into the mess he was currently in.

“Weird?” Y/N asked, sounding almost amused. “He looked like Michael B. Jordan, for fucks sake!” She couldn’t believe her best friend, because she was usually the one telling him if a person seemed off but he’d ignore her advice. So who did he think he was for rescuing her?

Harry didn't like the feeling that was brewing inside of him that could cause a series of hurtful words to leash out of his mouth. So he simply bit the inside of his cheek. Of course, she thought he looked like him.

“He only wanted to shag you.“ His deep voice spit the words out like venom. Both of his hands gripped the steering wheel hard enough to make his knuckles more visible.

She scoffed. “I was obviously looking for a husband at a club, right?” Y/N rested her back against the soft Italian leather and turned her head to notice his clenched jaw.

He really hated it when she was sarcastic with him and even more when she rolled those pretty eyes of hers.

“Why are you so pissed, H? Not that I ever cockblocked you.”

He tried to stiffen his breathy laughter, because she had no idea what she was doing to him. She did, in fact, do that, just not in the same way Harry just did and maybe it wasn’t fair of him to blame it all on Y/N because she had no idea what was going through his head. But yet Harry felt like she should know that she's living in his daydreams with him, that she's the first thing he thinks of after waking up and the last person to fall asleep to. He occasionally dreamed of her and as the nights got lonelier he’d imagine her laying beside him. He couldn't even shag anyone without thinking of the incredible girl sitting on his passenger's seat right now. He would compare every girl he tried to get into his bed to her and sometimes, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't take the stranger back home, because his heart was aching for somebody else. So yeah, she was a cockblock to him. The most annoying one he's ever had.

“Actually you did. Remember how Chloe was apparently using me for fame?” Chloe was the blonde and bubbly girl who was all over Harry just a few days ago when he and Y/N went to the gym together. She was all over him since the minute he stepped foot into the gym and even though he could see Y/N’s glaring stare on them he flirted back. His best friend even tried to warn him, but he shrugged it off and went through with a bathroom quickie.

And what makes it worse: Chloe wasn’t the only one. There were many more like her.

Thinking back he really didn’t understand why he had done all those things when he was never interested in those girls. Or maybe he does know why. He wanted to make Y/N jealous. See if she would give him any sort of reaction, but that never came. So now thinking back he didn’t understand why thought it was a good idea playing with peoples hearts and give them the two minutes of fame that they craved so badly.

She looked at him with disbelief. “She was! But I guess I’m sorry for caring about your reputation?” Her head slightly bounced off the seat as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. “I really don’t understand why it’s such a big deal who I shag.”

And honestly Harry wished he would feel the same way, but he just doesn't.

“Because you shouldn’t spread your legs for every guy.”

And Harry wished he just didn't say that.

Her delicate features twisted with anger as she straightened her posture so she could have a better look at him. She wanted to make sure that he really said those words but to her dislike he did.

A bitter taste lingered in her mouth and her whole facial expression turned sour.

“Excuse me? You’re calling me a slut, when you're the one with a new girl every week?” She raised her voice and truly couldn't believe how the conversation progressed from his ‘lost car keys’ to him accusing her of such things.

Harry’s tense fingers gripped slightly at his wild curls, obviously unhappy with his poor choice of words. “That’s not what I mean.”

“Then fucking enlighten me please? Because right now you’re acting like an asshole!” Her heart was beating rapidly and with each heartbeat, she felt a sharp pain shooting through her entire body. Of all people, she would’ve never expected Harry to insult her and make her feel dirty. Almost as if she was easy to have when it was most definitely not the case. But his little accusation broke her heart and her self esteem in a way that she had to question every decision she has made so far.

“It’s just” He started not really knowing where to go with his words. “I fucking like you.”

She sneered not catching on the real meaning behind Harry’s confession. “I like you too, but I don't walk around and call you a man whore.”

How could she be so stupid sometimes? He really wanted to ask her that. Because it was hard enough to admit that once but having to explain it to her was so much worse.

“You don’t get it, Y/N. I really like you.” He watched her face carefully as the panic spread through him. He can’t believe he told her like that, or at all.

Y/N was confused. So extremely confused and angry. Not for lying to her, cockblocking her or initiating that she’s a slut, but for the fact that he had the audacity to do this to their friendship. Once again. She barely had gotten the kiss out of her memories.

“You’re drunk, right?” She picked on her nail polish, slightly taking small bits of it off as she started at him with disbelief. Why couldn’t he just lose his car keys? “This is a joke.”

He didn’t know what to say to her anymore, so he stayed silent and took his eyes off of her.

“Harry, you always do that.”

“Do what?” Now it was his time to be confused.

“You’re not into me. You’re just bored.” She sighed heavily. Y/N didn’t want to reveal what she was thinking of his love life knowing that he wouldn’t like it. But at the end of the day he’s a relationship person. It wouldn’t be too bad if he wouldn’t fall so fast for the first person who gave him a little bit of attention. Because when he’s single he’d get all lonely and eventually falls in love with the first person he sees. It has always been like this, that’s why Y/N refuses to give in to him and let their friendship take the fall. Because Harry never got anything out of these relationships, besides a broken friendship and always a broken heart. “You always do that, you know? H, you just want attention.”

Harry thought he’d be able to smile if she’d slice his heart open, but the little cuts are already painful enough to make his eyes tear up if he wouldn’t fight it. “So my feelings are not valid and I just want attention?” A bitter laugh left his slightly quivering lips. “I think I got enough of that.” He shook his head at himself for letting those words slip out of his mouth. He knew she didn’t feel the same but at least she could’ve let him down less harsh. “You could’ve just said you don't feel the same.”

“Trust me you won’t feel the same when somebody else comes along.” He will, or at least that's what he thought. But it hurt like hell hearing her not taking him seriously.

He started the engine of the car without shooting a single glance her way because looking at Y/N would make him feel worse and he didn't know how much strength he had inside of him to not let his tears appear at this waterline.

He felt stupid. He felt humiliated. But mostly he felt so incredibly broken and scared.

He always knew him and Y/N was never going to be a thing because she didn't feel the same. How could she? She only saw him as her friend and Harry knew she deserves someone better. Someone who could give her the world, when Harry would have to hide her from it.

But Harry was so scared as he took her home and a million thoughts were running through his mind. He probably changed everything between them but he hoped he wasn’t going to lose her completely.

But he couldn't help to wonder if he just ruined their friendship?

It had been a little bit over a week since Y/N had last seen Harry. He dropped her off at her place and before she could say a thing he drove off again. So everything was left unspoken between them when all Y/N wanted to do was to talk it out with him. But she was scared. She didn't know how he’d react or if he'd want to talk to her.

And she’d understand if he didn't.

She knew she hurt him. That was her intention. She knew he would’ve stuck to his feelings if she didn't push him away to save their friendship.

They had come a long way and she wasn't sure if it was worth it throwing their close bond away for Harry’s small interest in her.

She’d be lying if she said the thought never crossed her mind. In fact, it did way too often for her own liking. It was just too hard to be platonic with him when he was too good at using his charm on her.

But at the same time that was another problem. He did it with everyone. So how could Y/N be certain he wouldn't get tired of her after they'd let their feelings take the upper hand?

No matter how hard she tried to ban Harry from her thoughts he’d always find his way through her thick skull. It was impossible for her to forget him when the image of his pained face was still haunting her and the only sound she heard was his strained voice.

She just hoped he as doing alright. That he wouldn't take it too personally and would get over it. The best-case scenario would be that they could laugh about it one day and would wonder how he could ever think to have feelings for his best friend.

But for them to reach that stage one of those stubborn people would have to give in and Y/N wasn’t sure who would be brave enough to take the first step. It has never been her strong suit and neither was it Harry’s.

Y/N spent her whole afternoon by being lazy. A quality she had started to be familiar with. It took her a while till she actually got out of her warm bed and before she really kicked off her day, she had a quick scroll through Instagram. But she regretted that almost instantly.

Pictures of Harry and a blonde girl were plastered all over the internet and she couldn't help but narrow her eyes at the familiar face. Chloe.

She bit the insides of her cheek a little bit too harshly as they seemed very cozy with one another at a concert last night, both of them dancing and hugging each other in a way Harry never did with Y/N. His hands were a little bit too low and her mouth came his dangerously close, but there weren't any pictures of them kissing, which made her sigh in relief.

She shut down her phone and threw it onto her bed and crawled underneath her blanket.

Y/N knew she shouldn't trust whatever she saw in those pictures because a bad angle could make anything look fishy. She experienced this firsthand when she and Harry became friends. Everybody seemed to believe that something was going on between them and an innocent hug could be interpreted as a passionate goodbye of two heartbroken lovers.

But no matter how hard she tried to tell herself that those are just pictures and no real confession, her brain wouldn't let her believe it.

If Harry liked her so much he would try to talk to her instead of waltzing to the next best thing. Y/N knew how he was and she’d predicted the unavoidable outcome. Sooner or later Harry would've become bored of her and leave her for someone new, someone more exciting and their friendship would be at the exact same place as it was at that moment.

She didn't like how both outcomes predicted how her heart would beat painfully in her chest and she wondered if Harry’s heart felt that even if it was for just a second.

It’s been exactly 22 days since Harry and Y/N last interacted with one another and Y/N couldn't help but count the days herself. She doesn't know when she picked that up along the way but at least it was getting easier for her to get out of her bed in the morning. So she thought it was better for her to look at the bright sight.

Besides she was happy to not have seen any more pictures of Harry and Chloe. So she believed it was nothing serious to him, even if the little voice echoed in her head how they both have gotten better at hiding from the rude photographers. But even if they weren't going out anymore she wouldn't be shocked. When has something like this ever meant anything to him?

But she banished those thoughts as she tried to go on with her everyday life.

Y/N really couldn't believe how much he was actually involved in her life. It could be an ordinary situation where she saw something cute, took a picture of it and her hand immediately swiped to Harry’s name so he could have a look at it himself. It happened without her knowledge and if she wasn't so fast she might have sent him accidentally a message already.

But it wasn't just that. It would happen if she got a coffee before going to the gym. Even though she had to go to a different café after changing her gym to avoid running into Harry. She’d order two drinks before it was too late and she stood their like an idiot wondering what she should do with the bullet coffe she hated but he always drank.

And what was more embarrassing was the fact how she would always think of Harry first, before she thought of anybody else, including herself.

That’s why her heart broke every day a little bit harder instead of trying to heal itself, but she slowly learned to get used to the heart ache.

But the sudden realizations kept her up all night and she wondered how she could've missed the signs when they were lying right in front of her very own, and apparently very blind, eyes.

Maybe it was because of her blind eyes or her slowness after working multiple hours without catching a break or her not being able to fight back the urge anymore after doing so successfully for 22 days that she sent Harry a picture of a cute dog she had found on Instagram.

When her brain finally processed what she had done, the horror on her face was obvious. She tried to delete the message but to her misfortune Harry had already seen it.

The grey bubble appeared which made her stop breathing as she waited anxiously for his response. Was he going to tell her to delete his number and leave him alone?

Harry – 09:34 PM

Can I come over?

Finally, Y/N let some oxygen inside of her again. She had to debate a bit with herself and tried to make up an excuse why he couldn’t come over. But she decided against it.

Y/N – 09:36 PM

Sure

She wanted to add a ’please’ but decided against it as she didn't want to sound desperate.

After she had sent the message her legs were bouncing up and down and she’d casually get up and rehearse a conversation that might happen.

She was nervous. She was so extremely nervous because she didn't what he was going to say.

But she knew what she had to say. She would do anything in her powder to avoid ending their friendship because the last few days had already felt like hell to her. How was she supposed to live like that for the rest of her life?

And when he finally rang her doorbell her mumbling stopped and she stared at the door trying to look if it really was Harry behind it. But she had no supervision so she began moving towards it. With unsteady steps, she opened it up to reveal a distraught looking Harry.

His puffy eyes looked even darker and heavier compared to when he was hungover and the little beard he grew made him more attractive but also proved that he hadn't been taking care of himself in a while, as his hair also looked a little bit greasy from where she stood.

They both just stared at each other, unable to exchange words but Y/N had hoped that she looked better than him. But she couldn't be positive about it because she wasn't exactly taking care of herself either.

Still, in silence, she opened the door a little bit wider to let him come him. When he did she caught a small whiff of his fresh cologne and her eyes wanted to tear up right at that moment.

She had missed him so much that just his scent made her already feel more at ease and all she wanted to do was to collapse in his chest and let him pull her closer by wrapping his strong arms around her body.

She wanted him close to her again.

For a moment the silence still remained and their were staring at their feet before they both started talking at the same time.

“I’m so sorry.” Did the two of them say at the same time with the same pain lingering in their voices.

He looked up first with an hopefull expression. He was so scared that she wouldn’t say anything and simply tell him to get his stuff out of her place. He was fearing for a text like that for so long, even today when her name popped up in his notifications. But once he saw the dog picture he was able to relax a bit and didn't hesitate when he asked if he could come over.

Now they were both standing there and hoping that it wasn't the last time they'd see each other.

“No, don’t be. It's my fault.” She started to say, still looking at her feet and playing with the hem of her sweatshirt as she stood there awkwardly in the middle of her living room, not knowing what to do with her body. “I shouldn’t have dismissed your feelings.”

A minor pain shot through his body as he remembered the heartbreaking memory. But he couldn’t be mad at her for doing so and just by looking at her he was sure he would never take that personally, especially after initiating that she was easy to have. “I-I know you don't sleep around and you don’t open your legs for everyone. I’m sorry about that. And lying to you.” He shook his head as she tried to speak again and at the fact that he actually said all those things to her.

“And I’m so sorry for being so bitter after the kiss. I should have not let my anger out on you. You were drunk.” She finally dared to look into Harry’s conflicted face. His hair was a little bit longer than she remembered as his curls seemed to tickle his neck and the patchy beard made him look more mature than he did before.

He furrowed his eyebrows. “What kiss?” Harry’s brain tried to remember when the kiss could have happened but there were no memories of him kissing the girl in front of him. He was sure he could not forget kissing an angel, or could he? “We kissed?”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, at the party?” She bit her lip and tried to play it cool. “You kissed Naomi on that day too.”

“Wait a minute, I kissed you too?” As his brain started to work and a distant remembrance popped up when he pressed his lip to Naomi’s in a drunken state. But he could not remember kissing Y/N, but he wishes he did. “How could I forget that?”

Y/N laughed trying to ease the situation when the tension was becoming too much for her. “It’s not like it meant something to you.”

And with that, she did not only hurt her heart but also Harry’s, who actually showed her what an effect her words had on him. “Is that why you think I’m not being serious?”

Y/N didn’t want to nod her head. She didn't want to give him an answer he was waiting for so long. So she didn't, even if both of them could stop cutting deeper into each other's hearts.

Slowly Harry got closer to her. The wooden floor underneath him creaking with every step until he was close enough to touch her face gently and make her look at him. “Naomi doesn't matter. Chloe doesn't matter. No one does. But if I remembered kissing you, I would be over the moon.” His heart was beating at high speed as he confessed his feelings, hoping that she would too if she was into him. “Because you do matter to me.” With his last part of the confession, he pressed his forehead to hers and tried to hold her close. His eyes closed shut and he focused only on her breathing.

Y/N’s feelings were all over the place. She was happy. She was scared and she felt nauseous. Was this all happening? Was the guy she has been crushing on for a few years now finally confessing his feelings for her?

“You don’t remember the kiss?” Her voice was hoarse when asked and Harry almost immediately shook his head. “Shall I refresh your memory?“

His eyes were about to bulge out of his head and his hands gripped her face a little bit harder. He stepped away from her a little so he could see the sarcasm on her face. But she wasn't joking. She was being sincere and once Harry realized that his lips came crashing into hers.

His feathery lips sucked on hers before he opened his mouth a little and teased her with his tongue to let him in. Once she did he wanted to moan into her mouth at the sweet taste she provided him with. Her hands were roaming in his hair and he didn't even notice when she slipped his beanie off of his head and started tugging at his curls.

This is all he ever wanted. That is all she ever wanted.

She was amazed by how soft his lips were and he couldn’t grasp the fact that she tasted sweeter than her scent and so much more addictive after getting a taste.

Slowly Y/N started to walk backward until she felt the couch on her legs. She pulled Harry on top of her when she sat down and hungrily continued the kiss after the short break.

His hands were sliding down her face, her neck and eventually came to a halt as he touched her hips to keep her steady. He can't imagine how she let him kiss her again. It all felt like a dream to both of them and they were not ready to wake up anytime soon.

He slipped his lips off hers, trying his best to catch his breath, before trailing kisses up and down her neck. Her small hands we're still playing with his curls and when she started to pull at them he moaned into her neck. He had waited so long for this to happen.

Y/N pushed her chest into his and once he pushed her into the soft cushions he continued to kiss her body. His kisses we're short but he didn't forget a single spot to love. She watched him with hungry eyes as he began to move lower and lower until he was between her legs. He looked up between her thighs, finding Y/N in a needy state. “Is this ok?”

She nodded and waited patiently for him to continue.

“Talk to me, love. Tell me.” His voice sounded so soft and she could swear she felt a tingle between her legs because of his voice and the nickname he had used.

“Yes. Continue, please.” He giggled at how breathless she already sounded and because of those big eyes she made.

“Your wish is my command.” His fingers slipped off her grey shorts and he had to stiffen his laughter as he saw her Spongebob panties.

Her face heated up and her cheeks were painted a faint rosy color. “Don’t laugh. I wasn’t expecting for this to happen.” With both of her hands, she covered up her face, clearly embarrassed. But Harry couldn't care less what she wore, in his eyes she always looked ravishing and like a goddess walking this earth.

“Don’t hide your face, love.” He moved his body up again, just to stroke her cheek and looked deeply into her eyes. “You look absolutely stunning.” The intensity of his stare made her knees weak and goosebumps run up her spine.

She nodded her head when he leaned down and planted a soft kiss on her lips. “Let me make you feel so pretty.” He kissed the tip of her nose. “Let me make up for what happened.” He kissed the heated skin of her forehead and stroke her hair behind her ear. “Let me make you mine.”

She nodded again, but when he rose his eyebrow she expressed herself, how he requested from her. “Make me yours, Harry.” With a smirk, he kissed her lips slowly, bit onto her lip, and pulled on it, which earned him a small whimper from her. A breathy laugh left his mouth and with his right hand, he slid down her body and gripped the hem of her panties. One last time he searched for disapproval or even just hesitation in her eyes, but when he could not find that, he dove right into the action.

His hand slit into her underwear and he started to rub small circles on her clit. He was soft at first, very careful and he didn't want to destroy his flower, his little petal, who looked too good for him. Who was too good for him. She closed her eyes and through her open mouth, quiet moans slipped through it. Harry was too focused on her delicate features to pick up the speed, only when she took his hand and started grinding on it, he started to put all his energy to make her feel good.

His long fingers pinched her pulsating clit and he could feel how wet she had already gotten, as his fingers started to slip. “Do I make you feel good?” He looked at her with those dimples appearing in his cheeks and he realized at that moment that he wanted her beneath him so many more times in his life. Only her, for the rest of his life.

“Yes.”, she moaned as his finger teased her wet slit. ”I need more.”

“Tell me what you need.” She opened her eyes, looked at him pleadingly as she moaned out his name. Harry swore he could cum if he saw her like this again.

“Want you inside me.” She kissed Harry’s cheek and moved her kisses along his sharp jawline, desperately searching for his soft spot. But before she found it he held her head back, to make her look at him.

“Not today. I need to make it up to you, angel.“ With that he lowered himself until his face was right between her thighs. With anticipation she bit her lip and stared at the green eyed boy, who was slowly removing her underwear. Her face was heating up, and the electricity she felt, whenever he touched her, made her want him even more.

“God. You’re so pretty.” He admired her one last time before his hands found her swollen clit to play with. “You’re so wet for me, baby.” He moaned and felt his own pants tightening around him.

His circles became rougher and faster and she couldn’t help but grasp his hair in her fists. Low moans escaped her mouth and she couldn’t help but arch her back.

“I want to taste you so bad.” He breathed on her pussy. “Can I taste you?” He looked up from between her legs to catch a glimpse of her nodding her head in ecstasy.

“Yes, please.” It didn’t take him long until he licked her slit clean before he focused all his attention to her clit again. With his plump lips he sucked it in and swirled his tongue around it.

Y/N jolted up from the pleasure she got and tugged at his hair to pull him closer to her. He let out a breathy laugh only intensifiying her feelings when she felt his mouth vibrate against her. “Harry.” She moaned as his fingers found their way to her wet entrance. He parted her lips and buried his tongue inside her again for a quick taste before he let his fingers do their magic.

At first it was just one, then two, before he started pumping his fingers in and out of her and he kept his mouth on her clit. Sweat was forming on his forehead and Y/N tried her best to keep his hair out of his face so she could see him whenever he looked at her. Her walls started clenching around him and her legs were starting to get tired.

Harshly she gripped the mattress and tried her best not to scream when he hit that spot inside her that made her see stars.

“You’re so thight, baby.” Harry moaned after he flicked his tongue over her clit harshly and his fingers were picking up on speed. “Do you want to cum, love?” She nodded her head, eyes closed, much to Harry’s dislike. “Talk to me.” His movements came to a halt which made her thrust her hips forward desperately.

“Please, Harry.”

“Please, what?”

“Please make me cum.”

He laughed before he buried his head between her legs again and began to eat her out as if she was his last meal and she couldn’t help but let her legs shake, and those moans out, when she felt the beard scratch her on all the right places. Harry was painfully hard himself but hearing and tasting her made him almost combust in his pants.

When his fingers picked up speed and she pinched her own nipple, her walls began to thighten around him and with one last moan she let herself go. “Fuck. Harry!” She closed her eyes shut, her back arched off the white material and helplessly she tried to breathe again.

Harry watched her with such adoration in his eyes as she came down and gave her pussy one last kiss before he held her face in his hands. She didn’t care that he was still covered in her juices and smeared it in her hair.

With a playful grin he looked her up and down and once her breathing calmed down a bit she gave him a small peck on his dimple, making it deeper on his cheek. Butterflies erupted in both bellies and a giddly feeling made both of them feel warm inside. With his thumb he stroke her cheek and rested his forehead on hers again.

“Are you mine now?”

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