#DON'T TALK TO ME RIGHT NOW I'M EMOTIONAL

[lunarharp]

if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!! #i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!! #I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE! #tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood. #Why do you keep pulling away from me? #It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“ #oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!! #........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

[q-starhalo]

I never thought about it til just now but you can literally tell that Bad did lose 7 children.

Chayanne - While yes, as of recent there hasn't been much interaction between the two, you can tell Chayanne trusts his uncle Bad just like Phil does. I mean, Phil literally said that a big reason why Bad has access to the bunker was because Bad always keeps an eye out for the egg and will do anything to protect them. And Chayanne and Bad spent a lot of time together! Bad had made a dungeon for Chayanne and was planning on making another one. If Phil can't make, he'll just go to Bad and get his quests done. So if anything happened to Chayanne, Bad would feel highly guilty because Phil and Chayanne trusted him to keep him safe.

Tallulah - Tallulah and Bad are just really sweet (and sad) whenever they're together. Heck, Tallulah mentioned how she sees him and Phil as father figures. Whenever Tallulah feels bad and Phil isn't there, she goes to Bad. She asks him for a hug, for him to tuck her into bed, for him to read one of her papa's letters. She trusts him oh so much that if Bad loses her....oh the guilt he'd have

Ramon - This one, if anything, is pretty self-explanatory. Dapper and Ramon are close to the hip. No questions asked. Bad and Fit would spend a lot of time together babysitting them to the point that if Fit wasn't around, Ramon would follow Bad and Dapper. If I remember correctly, Ramon mentioned how Bad was like a father to him. And somewhat recently! Ramon was on and Bad saw he was alone and Ramon showed him the improvements he's done and any cool machine! So yeah, he'd feel guilty because Ramon saw him as a father figure and Bad just let him down

Leo - I don't care what you think, Leo and Bad always have the best interactions DESPITE the language barrier. With Bad only knowing English and Leo knowing mostly Spanish, they still make it work! If Bad says anything in English, he'd make sure to repeat some keywords in Spanish that he knows to make sure Leo understands what he's trying to say and Leo uses the translation bubbles (I assume) as well! Even in the early days, Bad and Leo spent a good amount of time with each other due to bothering mostly Foolish. There's a reason why Dapper, Leo, and Ramon are considered the triplets of the group. Bad and Leo just have that good dynamic. And Bad losing his niece that would teach him some Spanish and was fun to have around....yeah, he'd feel so much guilt

Richarlyson - Don't know what to tell you. They have spent so many nights together that Richas had a crazy amount of time on the server, only beaten by Bad because he is also crazy. Bad considers him like a son and if anything happened to him, he'd feel so empty without the egg that would just run around.

Pomme - That's his daughter. That's his daughter. He'd do almost anything to protect her. And it's incredible to see Bad's paranoia and anger rub off on Pomme like when Bad was angry at Quackity for kidnapping Dapper. If anything happened to her he'd go feral yet feel so hopeless because that was his daughter.

Dapper - That's his porcupine. His sunshine. His everything. They joke but they're still together. Bad would sing "You are my Sunshine" to Dapper anytime he felt down or he made a mistake. Dapper would always hit her father's head with a shovel but hit someone else's once they speak badly about him. They're each other's lights. It's them against the world always. And if his sunshine is gone, he'd be angry, yes, but he'd be so lost. He failed them.

He failed them all. He failed to protect them. He failed to take care of them. He failed. He failed. Sorry sorry sorry sorry. He failed them and he's so sorry

#and I don't know what I'm talking about at this point :D #sorry it's late I have to go to school tomorrow and there's so many emotions #again tell me if I mis worded something or if I got something incorrect #I do not care for grammar right now #sleep time qsmpblr o/ #badboyhalo #qsmp eggs #qsmp

[tubbietommo]

This is all I care about

#f1 #Sebastian Vettel #nigel mansell #the way he takes his cap off HIM CLAPPING THE HUG SEB SHAKING #don't talk to me I'm very emotional unstable right now

[ashtonsunshine]

Lisbon & Madrid, the warmest of welcomes as we kickoff our Europe run. Obrigado! Gracias!

via 5SOS instagram. 25th September 2023

#*chuckles* im in danger #perhaps i am looking more carnally than ever 👀 #whoever took that first pic ARM WRESTLE ME RIGHT NOW! #that detail of luke is A WHOLE FUCKING LOT #This is a case of I don't like 5sos I just like Calum's biceps. #Michael's punk jump *chef's kiss* bless you Liz ♥️ #i shan't talk about the smiley ash. I'm in a very violent swirl of emotions; an emotional blender if you will; to even begin to process it #*squints to try to find myself in the crowd* #5sos #ashton irwin #calum hood #luke hemmings #michael clifford #ryan fleming 2023 #the 5sos show tour lisbon #the 5sos show tour madrid

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

anyone else ever get struck with a sudden feeling of distaste or being tired of someone who you usually really like/are friends with for literally no reason whatsoever? or is that just me

#like this has been happening with various people all summer #I'll be like... the thought of this person causes negative emotions that are literally directed at nothing #it isn't anything the person has done I just. feel like I don't care and don't really want to put in the effort with whatever friend #which is really weird bc I KNOW if I DO just put in the effort and ignore that random feeling I'll have fun and enjoy myself!! #bc I DO still like my friends actually!!! I just sometimes feel like I Don't and idk why #Lu rambles #this is especially odd when it's the sound guy bc like. not only have I been massively crushing on him all summer #but he's also one of the few people I genuinely have clicked with here. like we get along. it's cool. I've been slightly in love with him #so why do I now have this weird feeling like I want nothing to do with him/don't care #actually I feel extremely ambivalent about just about everyone right now but for some reason especially him #wait maybe it's PMS actually.... the Leave Me Alone Don't Talk To Me Don't Look At Me Don't Make Me Show Up hormones have hit :/ #...that would actually explain several things from the last couple days. I should start tracking it #ok sorry I'm done externally processing my emotions on Tumblr dot com. bye

[crownspeaksblog]

"Shipmates" "former"

#I'm feeling very emotional over seeing them interact for the first time since their last scene together!! #i almost teared up seeing them just talk to eachother.. I'm feeling pain right now and i kinda like it and kinda don't.. #give me the first episode already!! #our flag means death #ofmd #ofmd s2 #blackbonnet #👑

[detransraichu]

broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol

also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies

#lay text #i'm being mean and petty ugh #my heart kinda hurts but talking w my counsellor abt it helped #it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to #also i still think my ex is a good person i don't actually hate them i love them as a friend. but i do hate what they did to me #i hate that they went along w us dating bc they're too much of a doormat. i hate that they thought abt breaking up w me for years #but never told me bc they were worried i wouldn't survive without them financially or emotionally #feels so fucking infantilizing #now i'm so much better off without them despite being broke #that was my first and only real relationship my first time my first everything. i'm so embarrassed wtf i was RIGHT i was right all along #i was right it wasn't just insecurities they straight up never wanted me they wanted future transitioned male-passing me #it was all lies!!! from the get-go!!! meanwhile i did so much romantic bullshit and i was wearing rose colored glasses!!!! #and i was a big dyke. being with a woman who identified as a woman would've made me 2000x happier anyway. we could've just stayed roommates #i'm so bitter guys. i feel so jaded but i'm trying not to be :/ #and now they have so much luck in their love life #and i'm just a lonely gremlin dyke who only attracts polyam/casual girls who only want me on the side #where tf is my love story :'( i've been trying SOOO FUCKING HARD to gain my ex's affection for 5 freaking years i was the most loveydovey g #i deserve a love story i think i've really earned it by now!!!!! #so much love to give #now they have it so easy wtf. feels unfair ngl. i'm happy for them obviously they deserve happiness too. but i am still bitter >:/ #trying to process these feels instead of repressing them for once. i have a tendency to bottle up angst bc i think i'm bad for being mad #but nope those r healthy emotions!!! i can work thru this #it just sucks #if you read all of this bs i give you a cookie 🍪 <3

[nateriverswife]

Jessica gives me so many problems with her many aliases when I have to talk about her and L, because L knows about Rowan but she tries to bury her completely; L lived some months with Elio but it is an alias she was forced to assume & their interactions at the Wammy's weren't the friendliest; L interacts mostly with D for Detective, but it was born under very special circumstances because it is a tool that ensures L's safety and her power over him; L works with Mei during the Kira case so it means nothing outside that & Ryuga is Ellie's classmate but it's not them them; Jessica is the only identity she has chosen for herself — the first time she has ever felt like she could be herself for real, even if in the beginning she used it to run away from Rowan — BUT Jessica is virtually no one to L (they interacted once, even if it's very significant). And the thing is that she has such a rigid way of thinking about her different identities — she compartmentalises them. They do not exist outside their own context or reason for existing, but to L, she's each one of these identities, that influenced him in so many different ways. However, he's forced to pretend that she is just D for Detective, and so he has a hard time understanding her. She's right there in front of him but so out of reach, and it's painful.

#they are both hurting over this lmfao #lovely how she's doing it all herself & she could just process her trauma and be happy #but to face what happened to her at 11 years old is hard so ignoring it and hoping Rowan magically dies is the best choice in her opinion #like she's passively waiting for her to die while actively protecting her behind Jessica #the duality of this woman - being the best agent but can't find a way to deal with anything that requires a bit of emotional vulnerability #d.exe #the last part might not make sense to anyone but me right now but yeah #I'm just very anxious about my exam and needed to think about something else #I don't even know how to tag this because who I am talking about exactly

[another-goblin]

It's been established that people can look however they want in the dreamworld, even up to their species.

So (in addition to Sparkle being able to impersonate anyone), how can we be sure of anybody's identity?

How do we know, for example, that Firefly isn't actually some sleazy elderly millionaire who likes to pretend that he's a teenage girl to mess with people?

#honkai star rail #my stuff #penacony is so creepy #i'm not even talking about other things #like the ability to change people's emotion without them noticing #so how can we know any of our emotions in the dream are genuine #the family's ability do erase people's memories #people's ability to accidentally conjure monsters by being too emotional #or the fact that people we meet can be dead for centuries in the real world #and kept here against their will #so how many people in the dream are ghosts or bots #and btw how many people actually die in the real world hotel #from thirst or drowning #how many bodies are decomposing in these bathtubs right now #and don't tell me the family will bother to check on them untill it's the time for the person to check out #I mean #if you do some sidequests #and talk to npcs #this whole place is absolutely horrifying. #penacony #“Planet of Festivities” my ass

[einstetic]

i'm not tired, i'm exhausted

#my head is full of sooo many thoughts and i'm feeling way too many emotions right now #i struggled with my thesis today again after a few months break #yesterday a guy i'm kind of getting to know asked me a question that hit home when we were talking about the effects of past events #“'last time when cuddling and i gave you a kiss you tensed up completely for a sec. was that you being shy or being uncomfortable. ' #i didn't even realise it and now i'm feeling extremely anxious about my subconscious acting out when i am in fact feeling comfortable #background: he knows my history of unpleasant events concerning intimacy/sex and he's very mindful about it yet challenges me in a good way #but now i am a mixture of extreme exhaustion experiencing high levels of fondness and yet feeling extremely agitated #and having constant minor flashbacks and i really don't know what to do or how to merely exist in this moment now #not going to bother anyone with this and my thoughts as they are having a good time and that also goes for the pretty nice guy i mentioned #so i'm on my own in my own company #maybe some music crying and ice cream straight from the tub would help haha #thank you for taking your time to read this mess love you and have a nice morning day or night #literally no one cares emma

[thisistrashking]

Minthara reminds me of a pitbull. she still deserves to be love and accepted 8[ despite her upbringing and despite her actions taken while under the influence of the absolute she deserves the same chance as every other companion.

#bg3 #trash talks #i'm very normal about minthara right now #minthara baenre #war criminal wife #this is such a loose comparison don't @ me with your hot takes just let me be emotional over a fictional character #every fucking conversation with her has an option to attack her #even after saving her and bringing her back to camp

[satari-raine]

My graduate thesis - after (somehow) successfully defending it last week to my committee team - just got officially accepted by my school. Time to become a blanket burrito and (try to) sleep forever out of relief that it's finally finished.

#Satari rambles #Hi there and howdy #I have occasionally poked in on here to talk about the whole graduate school thing #I'm just so glad it's done now #One of my committee members had to observe my teacher last night for class and he announced I had successfully defended it last week #And I don't know #Just seeing him and the other members and then my classmates proud #Got a little emotional #Even if it still feels surreal to have written as much as I did and even if I have some conflicting feelings about the end result #Since I did a creative fictional thesis #But I really am happy it's done and I'm almost done with school #(Granted I'm scared for what comes after especially with finding work right now among other things but that's for later) #But yeah #This has been the usual Satari is a dork who rambles in the tag night (even though it's only the afternoon right now) #Please tip your service staff #Have a wonderful timezone everyone #Also my committee head bought me some books to celebrate and oh my gosh I love that woman #She's so dang kind and it was really touching #People are so wonderful sometimes #I hope I can give some of that wonder back even if as a fraction

[eldrichfuck666]

I recently feel so strange about having a simblr, because I just.. I feel like I'm in a time loop, like time is non-existent thing for me and I just don't have any energy to catch up with the posts and how fast and how much is everything progressing and going. I just can't, and it's really difficult for me to force myself to catch up, I hate myself for it since I want and always wanted to be in this community, but it all feels so intense and strange for me, I just... I feel like I'm so far behind, like I need to stop being here because I'm too slow, too tired, too overwhelmed by everything maybe?.. I don't know what I'm really trying to say here, but like... I feel so out of touch or whatever.

#nonsins #olya's rambles #delete later #tw vent #kinda #upd: I'm also really scared of interacting with other simblrs/people because I feel so... alienated maybe? #I have literally no friends besides my siblings and co-workers in real life and I just.. I feel hurt by the understanding that I'm cursed #cursed with loneliness and it feels so painful and I can't cope with it but making friends or frequently chatting with someone hurts more #I feel like I'm not made for friendship. eternal loneliness? yes #probably #might be weird to say but I feel so small so wrong so- I feel so fucking lonely but every time I try being friends it's not going well #am I too much? yes but it's me and I can't hide my feelings I can't hide my emotions I can't even mask well #I always talk too much I always say too much I always react too emotional #I just can't be normal I can't be like any other normal person because I'm certainly not one #do I even deserve to have friends in the first place? probably not I'm annoying as hell I'm loud I'm too much I'm overwhelming everyone #better stay away from friendship I guess better just... just be alone #I feel so nauseous right now I don't know just talking about it and acknowledging it HURTS.

[ehlnofay]

aromantics need to take over every industry NOW

#I'm ANNOYED. not in an earnestly sad way but just like #everything keeps being about romance!! and it's fucking boring!!!! #my friend is playing bg3 and it seems cool and all but there's so much emphasis on romance and sex #mostly in the fandom but partly in the way the game's relationships are structured #and like. I'm so dead serious. that shit's boring #give me a best friend mechanic in every game #I want the exact same vibes but it's all purely platonic #I want all the emotional deepcuts but NO KISSING #that can all be an option obv #but I wish a romantic storyline wasn't the only one that could have depth yk #idk I haven't actually played the game bc my shitty pc cannot handle that #maybe it's actually cool and chill and you can do all the same stuff as with the romance plotlines as Besties #but. kinda doubt it #and that's not what anyone is talking about regardless #if I don't get a narrative without romance in it Right Now I'm going to start biting #I mean it

[barkingangelbaby]

I feel like such a broken fucking person lol

I talked way too much in the tags don't read them

#fighting off the ideation like my life depends on it!! bc it does!!! #been good about not thinking certain phrases but F U C K am i feeling it. i want to turn into a pile of dust #i am so desperately trying to work on myself and change my patterns and bad habits and perspective but it feels like i always fall short #i try not to talk about it online but I'm just. having a very hard day with N because we experience our feelings in different ways #i isolate myself bc i struggle with regulating my reactions and tones when im having an episode but she needs me to talk through things and #i sometimes just. can't. bc I'm not done experiencing the negativity and am not in a place to have a productive convo bc shame spirals etc #we just spent a long time talking and being patient and i thought i was understanding and explaining myself well but i just. idk. #i don't know how to explain that of course i love her even if I'm isolating myself. of course i love her although I'm nonverbal today. i jus #t can't *make* myself talk when I'm like this i don't want to be nonverbal i don't want to isolate i don't want to be a distant partner i do #n't want to fall back into these patterns related to my grief i want to be better i am trying to be better i am working so fucking hard on #being better. i just feel so defeated bc this all spiraled from me not wanting to decide what to get for lunch n using a poor tone about it #I'm about to talk with her some more but I just. kinda don't want to exist right now. fuck dude. it feels so fucking awful when i upset her #like i love her so much she is so important to me and it breaks my heart that our entire day is shot bc i was tired and cranky #i just don't understand how that equates to me not loving her bc she is my whole world dude. I'm going to throw up #i also don't know how to explain to her that scrolling on tumblr is comfortable to me I'm not ignoring her it's just the SM that i scroll on #like we're hanging out watching tv together I'm gonna scroll a little bit. it's just not insta or anything #idk my mind is scrambled I'm crying I just want to be a better person who can calmly communicate my thoughts and emotions #today has just beat my fucking ass dude. i isolate so those feelings don't get translated into my interactions with others #i don't even know what i typed in these tags I just don't want to off myself or think about it I'm fighting myself so much 2day #rAMbles

[heyninja]

Episode 5: The Scream-ening

This show continues to take some genre staples and just flip the bitch. I thought from the morning conversation with Porsche and Kinn that Porsche didn't remember anything (which, unfortunately, can be a side-effect of GHB) and I thought OH NO, not this again.

But no. Porsche remembers. He just doesn't know what do do with it. Kinn is treating him like before, maybe worse than before. Porsche is being punished by the bodyguards he's supposed to be in charge of. Kinn flaunts having a different lover right in front of Porsche, and flippantly makes clear to Porsche that whatever it is Porsche is doing with his time, it is of less than any concern to Kinn.

The only marks that Porsche bears from his time with Kinn are the marks of punishment, and his entire bearing, his entire demeanor, shows that he is struggling to find his footing in this space and failing.

Gone is the animated, over-exuberant man who flings himself around and happily inhabits the life of the party. His actions are tempered, small. His face is a mask, his eyes are downcast. When he interacts with Kinn he tends to hunch, to turn aside, to turn the volume down from 10 to barely heard. Even when directly confronting Kinn it's worn down.

Even then, from Kinn's perspective, it's clear that Porsche takes up all the air in the room. When Porsche tells him if Kinn can do whatever he wants, then do it, Kinn physically sways into Porsche like he can't help it. Now, whether Kinn is not allowing himself to name what he feels for Porsche because a) whatever in the past that happened throws a pall over it or b) he literally is just not allowing himself for personal reasons, it's still the same outcome - Kinn will not let himself admit that Porsche is different to him. Despite how his actions are screaming out those differences.

I think, when he got the advice from Pete on how to talk to Porsche, Kinn was honestly just thinking "how to get through to my most dumbass body guard, excellent" and nothing more. And he's clearly super, super bad at the execution. Though it does give Mile the opportunity to show off how he normally handles himself vocally (soft but assured and pointed) versus how Porsche ends up twisting him up (frustrated, snappish, verging on loud).

Also, I mentioned this in one of my gifset tag explosions but: the tryptich scene, where they showed both Porsche and Kinn attempting a casual hookup while BOTH of them were thinking of the episode 4 hookup, and thus neither one of them could get very far because it did not live up to the memory of their time together: chef's kiss. I was screaming into my hands about that.

Anyway, I love the range here of both characters. Porsche withdrawing, trying to find some way to connect to Kinn, and withdrawing even further when those efforts are rebuffed. Kinn trying to find his equilibrium by falling into business as usual and trying to keep his father's good opinion, and still finding no solace, and finding himself in the position of trying to connect with someone on their terms instead of his. Just a REALLY great character study here, especially when neither of them is admitting to their true turmoil out loud.

Mile and Apo just buried everyone with how well they did with these complex emotional interplays and how well acted they were. I am just over the moon about how well they complement each other.

ALSO ALSO. That chase/fight scene. Glad the budget was there for this one, it was so good. I love me some drift compatible battle couples. Seriously my first post on tumblr after I decided to start using it in 2012 was a battle couple post don't @ me.

I believe in the power of being handcuffed together to force people to face their feelings.

(Plus I am waiting for Porchay to wreck Kim's everything by being the sunshiniest cinnamon roll ever and giving him all the feelings. I'll wait.)

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #kinnporsche meta #kinn #porsche #mile phakphum #apo nattawin #i know there was so much emotional turmoil in this #the whump came for us all #but it was so well done #and now the Handcuffs of Emotional Honesty have entered the chat #porsche is my babygirl and i'm not taking any questions #kinn girlboss of my heart #i don't want to talk about vegas right now #i don't know enough about him yet and he's creeping me out so far