#DUE TO ME OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING AND AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[untouchabyeolman]

lolololol

#i keep telling myself that i don't have anxiety bc like it's maybe ''not that bad'' and just me overreacting but like #i've been trying to distract myself all day #telling myself to stop thinking about it #and even giving myself pep talks like ''ur gonna feel shitty about it for a few days but this happened before and itll go away eventually'' #but bc of the stupid thing i did today im like #''haha yeah it's...it's fine...it's gonna be fine...'' #but then i keep having that sickening feeling in my stomach that makes me want to reach in there and rip it out of me #and i was pretty tired but i dont wanna go to bed and try to sleep bc i KNOW it's all im gonna think about and my stomach's gonna feel funny #and im gonna feel like shit but i dONT want to feel like shit #i just want to forget it and DIE #and then the thing with my programming where one person agrees with me and the other doesnt #but i FEEL like i'm right bUT MAYBE IM NOT AND I'M GONNA GET A BAD MARK ON MY HW AGAIN FOR BEING STUPIDT #DUE TO ME OVERTHINKING EVERYTHING AND AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH #also i had my first PT for my back today and im still thinking about how the dude laughed when i answered his question #but it gave off strong ''ur so dumb'' vibes and i just tried brushing it off and acting normal #and later on having a decent conversation with him while he worked on my back #but him laughing at me was still in the back of my mind like im sorry idk how to articulate exactly how my leg is feeling #so its just this whole cycle of well we had a pretty good and friendly conversation after so maybe he didnt mean it like that #to me still feeling stupid bc i gave a stupid answer which had him laughing but not bc i was being funny............. #like i wish i could just fall asleep if i shut everything down right now but i know i'm just gonna feel sick to my stomach #and stay up trying to make myself not to think about all this and failing over and over again #UUGGHHHHHHH. #personal