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camidelucia · 4 years

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Too Far.

Solo 2: Too far.

Date: 11th April, 12:30 pm 2019.

Trigger warning: Eating Disorder, Bulimia, Heart Attack.

Characters mentioned: Anastasia Brooks

It has been a few hours since a bright light almost blinded a weak looking Camila DeLucia from her slumber. Funnily enough, she couldn't remember falling asleep. Now she thought of it the last day was a bit of a blur, there was obviously bits and pieces that she could remember but half of the day turned up blank that could never really be a good sign. A confused look must have been taking place on her face because the next thing she knew, Camila was being informed that she was in the hospital wing of the estate. For what? She wasn't sure but she had a pretty good idea with what it had involved.

Minute's agonising ticked by on the clock and a familiar red-headed princess had been talking to her for a good half an hour at least asking Cami to go over the events of the last twenty-four hours to help the medical staff gain a little bit of perspective. So that's what she did. Twice in fact.

“I told you.” The girl started, brushing back her dark locks as she sat up in the uncomfortable bed and looked up towards the woman in front of her. ”I woke up at 7 am, went for a little run and then I came back inside.” Camilia crossed her arms over her chest and let out a sigh, tired of retelling the story. ” I came inside and I was having a really good day. The kitchen staff had made some pancakes so I had two before going upstairs and having a shower. I got dressed out of my workout gear into my normal clothes...”

A violent cough fell from her life but rather than simply stopping like usual, it continued to the point where the frail girls throat burnt and Ana had to physically force her to drink water from a paper cup that they had available at the hospital. Once she was satisfied that the coughing fit had subsided, Ana stepped back and Camila continued on with her story.

“After getting dressed, I headed into the games room for a little while and played Pac-Man with a few people. There were a lot of people in there so we took it in turns and then dinner came. I walked into the cafeteria and helped myself to some fries and a cheese stuffed crust pizza and then after that, I don’t really know what happened...” Camila trailed off, playing with the tape around IV in her arm before she stopped as she felt a soft hand cover her on.

“If all that’s true then tell me... how did you end up here?”

Realisation dawned upon the scared princess with just where she was. The bright white walls and the beeping of the heart monitor beside her should have been enough indication but by now Camila was a master at hiding the truth from everyone, even herself. At this point, she could convince a nun that Jesus didn’t exist. This, however, was something that couldn’t be denied and it dawned on Cami what a drastic turn of events her actions had caused.

The Italian girl’s hands shook as she pulled her knees up to her chest and stared blankly at the white wall, the antiseptic scent of the hospital reached her nose and Camila knew that if she didn’t speak now, it was unlikely that she ever would.

“Do you want to start again? What time did you get up?” The Russian woman said, looking down at Camila with her eyebrows arched showing the younger girl that Ana wasn’t buying her story.

This was serious and Camila knew that because Ana wasn’t ever really one to push patients to far. She respected their privacy but in that moment even Cami knew that without reliving the truth, she wouldn’t get any better. With a heavy sigh, she began to speak yet again only this time, she decided to tell the truth. The entire truth without any misconceptions or any underwhelming information.

“It was all too much. Usually, I get up at 7 am but that night I was stressed out about my dad and his... wife. He’d sent me a letter the day before telling me that he had gotten married to the vile woman. I don’t know how he did it. She’s horrible! She hates me, refuses to let anyone talk about my mom... she convinced my dad to send me here and yet he still wants her more than me. I’m so easily replaceable, I’m shocked he even thought about sending a letter. That night, I couldn’t sleep so I set my alarm for 5:30 am.” The girl began before getting interrupted.

“Why that time?” She heard Ana ask.

“My roommate wasn’t in for the night so I knew I had the place to myself.” She continued with a shrug of her shoulders as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “Since I was alone I could do that, I knew that my alarm wouldn’t wake anyone up and I really needed to exercise, it was all I could think about. Like an itch that needed to be scratched, it just kept playing on my mind over and over again so I quickly changed into my workout clothes and walked through the halls towards the back garden.”

Closing her eyes, Camila felt herself being drawn back to the previous twenty-four hours and forced herself to remember so she didn’t skip any detail.

“I began to run like normal... at first I really did just plan to only be out there of thirty minutes but then thirty turned into an hour and an hour turned into two.” Her eyes fell to the floor like she was ashamed with what she had done but she never stopped speaking. If this was anyone other than Ana, Camila wouldn’t have said a single word as openly as she did but she had trusted the girl ever since they had met so she didn’t fear her judgement. “If I could have, I would have continued but I was tired and running out of breath and besides more people were waking up so they would have noticed. It was about 7:30 or 8 am when I stopped and passed through the cafeteria.”

“At the time, everyone was getting their breakfast and one of the cooks saw me. I guess I was breathing heavily from the run I just did so she asked me if I wanted anything.” Here was the difficult part or Cami. Doctors knew what was wrong with her but she, herself never admitted the problem she was struggling with. “I was going to say no, but when I looked at what was prepared, I couldn’t stop myself.” A sad sigh fell from the girl's mouth. “I took a plate of pancakes to my room and ate them as quick as I could... I erm - I hide food in my room, l-like candy bars and snacks for when I feel like I have to - have to...”

A soft hand fell to her shoulder causing her to look up from where her eyes had been fixated on the floor. As she looked into the older girls eyes she saw no sign to judgement just worry which made Camila feel terrible about everything. It was never her intention to burden anyone with her issues. That was partly why she kept her illness to herself. Well, that and because she was too ashamed to admit what had been going on inside her mind.

After a few moments of silence, Camila managed to compose herself and continue with her recollection of what had happened the day before. “... sometimes I binge. I eat as much as I can and then-then I force myself to throw up.” She mumbled hoping that the girl hadn’t caught on but knowing she had. “I never used to do that. I used to just throw up after every meal but now, it’s like an addiction and if I can’t go big then I feel like a failure. I know it’s not logical, but it helps.”

She felt like she was in a confessional booth at church, telling her sins to a priest. Everyone said that that would make them feel good like a weight had been lifted off their shoulders but Camila could only feel embarrassment that someone now knew what she had been doing. It was disgusting! She was disgusting. It was no wonder her father rarely wrote and called, if she was him, she wouldn’t have bothered either.

“After I was sick, I quickly showered and brushed my teeth but I needed a distraction. Anything to take my mind off the bad thoughts going through my mind.” Her voice started to shake as a tear fell down her pale skin. “I tried to read but I keep scanning the same sentence over and over again, I tried watching TV but I couldn’t focus on what the characters where saying so I decided to go to the game room. There weren’t many people there, maybe six including me but someone wanted to play on ‘dance revolution’ and it was a form of exercise.” Camila brought her shoulders up into a small shrug as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “I said I’d play and I did for about fifteen minutes but then something felt wrong.”

“My heart felt like it was racing.” She softly spoke. “Not like in those cheesy romantic comedy movies you see. No, this hurt and it felt like I couldn’t breathe or at least when I tried to, I struggled. I’ve never felt a pain like that in my entire life.” The girl trailed off and looked over at the red-head that was looking towards her with wide eyes. “I really don’t know what happened from then.”

Silence filled the room as Camila was left wondering what had happened. Maybe she collapsed because she hadn’t drunk enough water that day? Maybe she was too ambitious with how much exercise her body could hadn’t and passed out from exhaustion or perhaps she was working herself too hard. Her dark eyes flicked from Ana to the floor then back to the who hadn’t said a single word since she finished speaking. With a soft voice of encouragement, Camila asked the question she dreaded knowing the answer to.

“What happened to me, Ana?”

After a heavy pause and a sad glance in the Italian girl’s direction, Ana revealed what had happened that day. “You had a heart attack.”

It felt like time had come to a standstill and Camila could barely focus on what was happening as tried to absorb the information given to her but it was hard to even imagine she could have one let alone come to the reality that it actually happened to her. A heart attack? Weren’t they for older people? She had never heard of anyone her age having one but how could she deny it? Her heart hurt right before her memory went blank so things made perfect sense.

With shaking hands the girl looked up at her friend and realised that what she said was a fact which queued more tears to come streaming down her face. “I don’t understand. I’m 22, how have I had a heart attack?”

“Are you honestly surprised? You’re not healthy Camila and you know that what you’re doing isn’t good for your body.” She commented, carefully taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “From what I’ve gathered, your potassium levels were dangerously low, that’s what caused the cardiac arrest. You’re on an IV now to try and correct that but you need plenty of rest.”

Cami could see and hear that Ana wasn’t trying to upset her and was using her kindest voice to not scare her but truthfully, she was terrified. What was she supposed to do now? “How did it get this far?” She questioned, shaking her hair in disbelief and covering her face with her small hands. “It was never supposed to get this far! I thought I could handle it, I thought I was fine.” She repeated over and over while rocking her body back and forth.

“Based on your extreme weight loss, and the notes on your psychological state, we know you’ve been dealing with a server eating disorder for some time now, Cami.” The weight of the bed shifted and a soft creak could be heard as the red-head stood up and looked at Camila with sympathetic eyes due to her upset state. “Camila, I’m telling you this as a friend.”

Slowly, Camila pulled her hands away from her face revealing her red cheeks and tears as she listened carefully to what Ana was saying. “If you carry on at the rate you’re going, your body won’t last another six months. You need to get better.”

“What if I can’t?”

#solo #cami delucia solo #royal pains roleplay

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psych532-blog · 6 years

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Unit 8 Overview

Motivation and the Internet

Motivation and Distraction in the Classroom

Binge-Watching

Internet Motivation

Motivation and Distraction in the Classroom

As more and more students own laptops and bring them into classrooms to facilitate their learning, the more and more contentious this argument becomes: Should students be allowed to use their laptops in the classroom? To answer this question, we’ll look at the data and history of technology in the classroom.

While laptops may be new to the classroom, disruption and boredom are not. Going back to the 1980′s, students sitting in lecture halls due to a lack of stimulation. There were situations in the past that would fit the ideas of why we might use the internet today such as lack of an active activity to do following a strenuous activity. As Aldridge and Delucia 1989 states, students back then were often bored in classrooms and lecture halls due to lack of stimulation.

In the 1990′s students were also distracted in the classroom. Such examples as cited in Carbone 1999 include making out in the back of lecture halls, ordering pizza, and watching portable television. In the 1990's there were things that distracted students in class just as there are things distracting students today.

Looking at the data today, there are many motivations to why students might be using laptops in their lectures. One of the most common reasons students bring their laptops to class is for note-taking. Another would be to combat boredom. While many professors believe that using laptops in class would lead to decreased performance, studies have shown that students who do use laptops perform just as well as their non-laptop using counterparts.

The data suggests that students who use laptops in class are not affecting the students around them, even if they are off topic and browsing facebook. Putting students who use laptops in a separate part of the lecture hall is also a bad solution as it puts those students at a disadvantage by putting them in an uncomfortable spot.

Professors and teachers need to be educated about the data regarding laptop usage in the classroom and use this to make their decisions. Professors should be using technology to further motivate and stimulate their students in the lecture hall.

Binge-Watching

Binge-watching TV shows and movies on Netflix and Hulu has become a very common occurrence for most young people today, but why are we motivated to do it? Science has a few hypotheses.

Why do we binge-watch? Because it’s fun. Because it’s available. Because it allows developing deeper connections with the characters. Because it’s already paid for. Because it’s what many of us did as children. Because it’s what everyone else is doing. Because it provides community. Because it enables a shared culture.

The reason that struck me the most would be because it provides community. If you’re someone who’s on social media, you’re used to seeing all of your friends talking about a show online. Game of Thrones, Walking Dead, Shameless. People want to know what other people are talking about, and they want to be a part of that community and feel like they belong. These shows create strong fan bases that people want to join and talk with others about the show. It’s addictive. It’s enjoyable.

Internet Motivation

Throughout the day, I probably access the internet upwards of 100 times. Thinking about it, I’ve been disconnected from the internet for about 2 hours total today. I’m constantly on the internet, but why? What motivated me? By completing an internet motivation diary, I found out.

Most of the times I accessed the internet was because I was trying to meet my social and cognitive needs. I checked social media because I want to know what everyone else is doing and it’s what I’m conditioned to do throughout the day. I texted my friends because it brings me happiness. I looked up things on the internet and helped solve my cognitive problems.

For the most part, I access the internet through my phone, my computer, and my PS4.

The other motivations I used to access the internet were affective and conative.

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tiramizou · 6 years

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How Not to Gain the Florence Fifteen

Bring home fifteen souvenirs rather than those fifteen extra pounds.

Kelly Hull

Florence is the place for two-a-days: Two pizzas a day, two expresso a day, and also two gelato a day. Of course, two gelato a day sounds incredible, but when it comes to gaining that famous “Florence Fifteen,” two gelato a day is going to give you an unwanted first class ticket to going home with an extra fifteen pounds. Maybe you’re thinking, “I have control, I won’t get two gelato a day,” and maybe you’re right, but that doesn’t save you from all the other high calorie, irresistible foods that Florence has to offer. This guide will help you to bring home fifteen souvenirs rather than those fifteen extra pounds.

Moderation is Key

While abroad you’re going to want to try all that you can because let’s be honest, how often will you be able to drop everything and travel to Florence? So, making sure that things are eaten in moderation will save you from those fifteen pounds.

Go to the local market, buy your own food, and cook it yourself (you can do it!).

Obviously, you can still eat some meals at restaurants but, cooking at home is a good alternative. You can take a healthy approach even as a visitor. Cooking at home can shave off extra calories, in the experience of Grace Han, a University of Illinois junior who studied in Florence for a semester. “I had the freedom to moderate what I was eating by hand picking my groceries and choosing different restaurants with varying menus.”

When ordering food, try new things.

It’s easy to look at a menu and pick something that is already familiar to you, especially if the menu is in Italian. You are experiencing a totally different lifestyle, so why not embrace yourself in the culture and try new things like sharing a Insalata Caprese (tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil) for the table rather than eating one yourself?

Longer Meals Means Eating Slower

Italians value their meal time much more than Americans do, according to an article titled “A Tavola, At the Italian Dinner Table,” on the website of food importer George DeLallo Company in 2014. Meals are usually served in courses, which automatically adds length to them. Americans often make the mistake of eating too much too quickly, according to an article written by Franziska Spritzler on healthline.com,. They forget to pace themselves during their Italian four-course meals. Remember, eat a little from each course that comes out.

How to Tackle Dessert

Dessert is a blessing and a curse all at once when visiting Florence. It’s impossible to resist their endless sweet treats and constant availability.

Don’t come to Florence and not eat any dessert at all in fear of weight gain. Let yourself have dessert here and there. If you are someone that craves sweet treats, there are healthy options as well. “Resisting dessert gets really hard, especially when being around it all the time,” Giulia Tarabusi, an employee at FUA’s pastry shop said. “But, there are healthier options like fruit-based gelato, and they still taste just as yummy.” Tarabusi also thinks that everyone should try a special Florentine sweet treat while visiting. The dessert is “schiacciata alla fiorentina,” and while it may not be one of the healthier options, at least allow yourself to try it once!

Physical Activities

Since Italians walk so much, gyms are nowhere near as common as they are in America. While it is hard to find a gym, it is still possible. Han came to Florence and had a lot of nerves about weight gain, “I joined a gym called Florence Fitness and I also walked a lot, which created a good combination.” She went on to mention that she lost six pounds by the time she returned home. Another student from the University of Illinois, Gabby DeLucia, studied abroad in Florence and said she didn't work out in a gym but found a way to make up for that with all the walking that she did. DeLucia said, “walking was essentially my only source of exercise. However, I did do a lot of walking every single day - often miles.”

Walking around Florence

Sightseeing of Florence can be combined with a good workout. Just walking around the wonderful city will get you more than enough steps needed for the day. For example, taking a hike up to Forte Belvedere or the Piazzale Michelangelo. After reaching both of these you not only get the satisfaction of a good workout, but you also get to see the city of Florence in a different but even more amazing view.

Snacks

People in Florence snack so little, it almost doesn’t even exist. They value their meals, so they eat them slowly in order to stay full until the next one. Han and Delucia both said that the longer they were in Florence, the more they adjusted to the lifestyle of valued meals and no snacks.

Alcohol Consumption

Let’s be honest, studying abroad in Italy means lots of wine, which is sometimes cheaper than water. Alcohol, of course, comes with calories, but why worry about those when wine can also help with digestion after a nice dinner? Don’t overdo it every night, but some wine with dinner is not going to cause the Florence fifteen.

Above all, have fun and enjoy every moment of the journey you are about to embark on!

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psychoftheinternet-blog · 7 years

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Technology in the classroom?

In present day, technology serves as one of the major distractions for students and disruptions for teachers. Obviously, this has not always been the case, as technology has only recently become so integral within our day-to-day lives. Class distractions and disturbances manifested in other things in the past; for example, in Black et al.'s (2008) article, some of the most common classroom disruptions were eating, wearing hats, packing/unpacking, groaning or sighing, etc.

Boredom is the source of many distractions/disruptions in the classroom setting; the standard presentation of a lecture can oftentimes be long, dry, and quite boring. Aldridge and DeLucia's (1989) article states that "pedagogical research consistently finds a drop in attention between 10 and 30 minutes into a lecture." Many students today cope with this boredom with the help of the internet--in the past, students had to be more innovative. Carbone's (1999) article mentions students in the pre-internet period have been caught watching portable TVs in lecture and getting pizza delivered.

In general, students seem to be choosing to use their laptops in class for the purpose of taking a larger quantity of detailed notes. Personally, I use my laptop in class for these same reasons; I find myself taking higher quality notes on my computer and I tend to comprehend them better when reviewing them later. Also, some students have bad handwriting or are slow at taking notes by hand--laptops can be vastly beneficial for these students and help them succeed in their courses.

On the other hand, there are a variety of reasons why professors may be hesitant about allowing laptops in their classroom. Laptops may promote distractions for students. As Baron's (2013) essay states, some students will probably be tempted to use Facebook, email, and other non-academic things during class. In addition, students not using laptops may become disengaged from seeing others not paying attention. Overall, it could detract from the atmosphere in the class and lead to a less productive learning environment.

Ultimately, I do not support the concept of banning laptops from a classroom, as there are many students who do use them solely for academic purposes. I think the best solution is to designate a certain area of the classroom for laptop users to sit in. Many of my professors currently utilize this approach, and it works fairly well most of the time.

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