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#Didn't know what i was doing half that time
kaijutegu · 17 hours
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Yesterday, I went to Baltimore with the intention of visiting a friend in hospice. Her health had taken a sharp nosedive over the weekend, and on Monday evening, the doctors said she maybe had a week left.
What actually happened was I went to Baltimore to help clean out her stuff, because she died at 8:44 on Tuesday morning and my plane didn't land until 8:50. So me and another friend helped another friend/her roommate (before hospice) find important documents, as well as save sentimental items for her actual loved ones because her family, well.
Her friends were her family. But because she died intestate, the people in her family of choice were entitled to nothing under the law. Instead of her beloved, disabled partner, her estranged family has legal rights to her savings bonds and the rest of her estate. (Sometimes common-law partners can inherit but they weren't together long enough to meet that criterion.)
I knew this was coming for a long time. You don't recover from the brain cancer she had. But it still really hurts. And knowing that people she hadn't spoken to in years are getting that money instead of the person she loved most... well, that hurts too.
Please, if you don't have one already, make a will. It's not hard. We don't like to think about it, because nobody likes thinking about post-death legal matters, but you need to make a will. If you're in the US, you can use websites like Free Will. You don't need an estate attorney or anything like that. In many states, a notarized letter is fine. I don't know enough about international estate law to say anything in that regard, but take half an hour to google estate laws in your jurisdiction and put together a will.
If something happened to you tomorrow, who do you want taking care of your pets? Do you have a collection of anything that you want looked after? Do you want your money to go to a person, a charity, or something else specific? If you don't have kids, everything reverts to a spouse. If you don't have a spouse, it goes to your parents. I know I don't want to burden my parents with figuring out what to do with my tegu, my skeletal collection, or my library. But if I died tomorrow, my will would take care of all of that. Thinking about mortality isn't fun, but dying intestate is worse. Make a will.
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volensnolenss · 2 days
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𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐓𝐋𝐄 𝐅𝐔𝐍
summary: you can't wait any longer, so you let your older brother's best friend fuck you;
content: nsfw!mdni, suguru is your older brother; doggy, missionary, creampie, praising;
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“fuck- satoru” you’re gasping, your fingers are gripping the sheets as his cock harshly thrusting into you, “baby, stop whimpering” his head is bent towards you, and you can feel his gloating smile, “are you my good girl mmm?” he's cooing and you’re nodding, feeling how deep gojo is and he just smirked, “so proud of you, princess.”
you always teased satoru when he came to your house with suguru. you liked to casually walk past them in one of your short outfits, which is why gojo switched his focus of attention to you. and, of course, suguru noticed this by giving him a steely glance, which satoru just grinned at.
every time you looked at him with your angelic smile, he wasn't exactly touched, rather, he wanted to know what was hiding behind it.
his palm made its way and he squeezed your waist without slowing down. you feel his veiny fat cock pounding your soaking walls leaving wet slaps.
“how do you think suguru will react if he sees us?” he kisses your shoulder, barely biting the skin, you moan and your back is against to his wide chest, “hate you-” gojo just chuckled and sank his cock deeper, causing you to cry out a little, his tip is adjacent to your tight cunt.
satoru grabbed your chin and stifled your moans with a kiss. he feels your fat tears flowing down your cheeks. your mind is not focused on anything except the tension in your lower abdomen.
“you’re so pretty, baby” his cock gradually throbs in you, still inexorably shaking your walls. satoru's voice vibrates, feeling you shrink “someone's gonna cum?”
“i'm close, satoru, i can’t” you feel a tingling sensation in your limbs and sigh loudly, succumbing to satoru, who presses you close to him and grunts under his breath, “so good, so good” he cum, filling you up to the very edge and loosing his grip on you.
you rolled over on your back, your eyelashes glistening with tears. satoru approaches you, covering your body with his, “my sugar” he kisses your neck and before reaching your chest, gojo stumbled and looked at you “wanna feel you again” you're meowing by moving your hips. your clenching pussy touches his red sensitive tip and he bites his lips.
“if suguru knew what you really are,” he grins, stroking your thigh, “he would be amazed by you.” gojo spread your thighs and he saw a beautiful sight on your pussy stuffed with his cum. He can't get the idea out of his head that you're so cute looking like that.
“i'm not a child” your sullenness disappears momentarily when every inch of his cock is pushed into you again, “i see, i see” gojo whispers to you, putting his finger to your half-open mouth. you and he heard footsteps and soon a voice calling you.
“hey, what have you been doing in your room for so long?” suguru is talking to you and you see the door handle move.
“don't come in!-” his cock completely sinks into you, causing you to lose your temper.
“what? what’s going on?”
“i'm-i'm changing!” you can hardly pronounce and cover your mouth with your palm while satoru is stretching into you.
suguru lets go of the door handle in disbelief and leaves, “I'm waiting for you.” you stopped listening to him and completely surrendered to gojo. you already didn't care about anything when his cock hits your pampered and sensitive places perfectly, which makes you breathe shallowly.
“fuck, angel, you're driving me crazy" he grabs you by the hips, frantically and sloppily bumping into you. you sigh softly, casting an innocent glance at satoru with your eyes, savoring the traces of the outgoing ograsm
his muscles are strained to the very limit and every time he penetrated you, his cock was covered with cum, ”wait- shit, gonna fill you up again” he groaned and you dig your nails into his skin, feeling the spreading warmth.
gojo drapes your leg over his shoulder, stroking and kissing it. his voice sounds hoarse, but he still tries to be gentle in front of you.
“now distract your brother so that i can get out of here alive.”
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foxy-eva · 3 days
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Rite of Passage
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Summary: Spencer is home alone with his daughter when she gets her period for the first time
Request: Spencer and Reader are married. They have a teenage daughter who gets her period for the first time (initially requested to @imagining-in-the-margins)
Pairing: Technically Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader but it’s mostly about Spencer and his daughter!
Category: Comfort, Fluff
Content Warnings: mentions blood, menstruation, period hygiene, cramps, female anatomy and biology, crying, food
Author's Note: I wrote this for @/imagining-in-the-margins Kid Fic Writing Challenge! 
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Sunday mornings always brought a certain calmness with them. Spencer was still half asleep when you kissed him goodbye, leaving for a little day trip with your friends when the sun was barely up. 
Spencer mumbled something that should have sounded like I love you before he closed his eyes once more, looking forward to some father-daughter quality time with your wonderful kid Marie. 
That was until he was awoken by shrill screams coming from her room. 
You were long gone when Spencer jumped out of bed, all of his years working with the FBI having him expect the worst. He rushed into his daughter’s room, finding her sitting in her bed, a look of horror spread across her face. 
“Are you okay!?” Spencer almost yelled when he reached her bedside. 
His daughter slowly shook her head while pulling back the blanket, revealing small blood stains on her pajama pants and the sheets. It only took Spencer a split second to realize what was happening. His facial features softened instantly. 
He thought he still had a few more months, maybe even another year, until this would happen. He had also hoped that you would be home for this occasion, certainly handling this a lot better than he ever could. 
“Oh sweetie,” he cooed while sitting down on the edge of her bed. “I think you got your period.”
Instead of saying anything, Marie just buried her face in her hands and started wailing. Spencer wasn’t sure if she was still in shock or if the general discomfort made her cry. 
“It’s okay. It just means you’re becoming a woman.”
As soon as the words left his mouth, he wished he could have taken them back. He hated the thought that his little girl was actually growing up more than anything. And it certainly didn't help in this moment. 
Without thinking about it, he did what he was most comfortable with and started rambling, “We talked about this, do you remember? It means that your uterine lining is shedding which results in the discharge of blood through your–”
“Dad!” She cried. “Please stop talking about my… you know! It’s weird!”
“I’m sorry, I’ll stop.” 
His little girl wiped away some tears from her cheeks before muttering, “Where’s mom? I wanna talk to her.”
Spencer sighed. He would have liked nothing more than to be able to let you take over right then. “She already left for her day trip. She won’t be home until six.” 
This explanation only led to more crying. Spencer reached out his hand to offer comfort with a gentle touch on her arm but Marie shied away from him.
“I feel gross,” she whined. 
“Why don’t you hop in the shower to get clean and then change into fresh clothes?” 
It seemed like he finally said something helpful. Her sobs simmered down as she got up from her bed to walk over to the bathroom, locking the door behind her. Spencer quickly changed the sheets and put out some clean clothes for his daughter before disappearing in his bedroom.
He let out a loud breath as he reached for his phone to call you. Before you could say anything, he blurted out, “She got her period and won’t stop crying and I don’t know what to do!”
“Oh my poor girl! Is she with you right now?” You wanted to know. 
“She’s in the shower. Can you please come home?” 
You knew that he wasn’t being serious. A quiet laugh escaped our mouth before you said, “Don't be so dramatic, Spencer. I’m sure you're very capable of handling this.”
“I told her that her uterine lining was shedding. It was not helpful,” he sighed. 
“Yeah, maybe hold off on the biology lesson for now. You know where my pads are, right?”
“Oh yeah, right. She's gonna need them.” Spencer paused for a second. “Oh god, what if she wants to use a tampon? I can’t explain that to her. That conversation will make the both of us cry.” 
“Give her a pad for now, those are self-explanatory. I can talk to her about tampons later if she wants.”
“Okay, okay, yeah. She just turned off the shower, I gotta go!” 
“Good luck! And stop panicking!” 
That was easier said than done. Spencer almost jumped when he heard Marie knocking on the bedroom door. 
“You can come in!” 
His daughter, tightly wrapped in a bathrobe, stepped into the room. She had stopped crying but still seemed upset. Spencer’s heart always broke a little when he saw his little girl in discomfort.
“I’m still uhm…bleeding,” she whispered. 
“Yes, that's gonna last a couple of days,” Spencer replied with a soft voice. He disappeared in the master bathroom for a second to get a pack of pads. “Here. Do you know how to use them?”
“I’m not an idiot, dad,” she snubbed.
The tone of her voice gave away how irritated she was. Usually Spencer would remind her to be more respectful but decided to let it slide this time. 
“I know, Mimi. I just wanted to make sure,” he said instead. 
The use of this nickname for his daughter was yet another reminder of a time that seemed so long gone right then. Marie had trouble pronouncing her own name as a toddler so she’d say Mimi instead. Spencer loved it so much that he stuck with it ever since. 
Without saying another word, she disappeared in her room. Spencer rubbed his temples for a moment before getting ready for the day himself. He decided to give his daughter some space and prepare breakfast in the meantime. 
He was focussed on not burning the chocolate chip pancakes he was making when Marie stepped into the kitchen. 
“I’m sorry I snapped at you,” she mumbled. 
Spencer turned his head to smile at his daughter. “It's okay, sweetie. I know you aren’t feeling well.”
She placed her hands on her lower stomach and muttered, “It hurts.”
“Here,” Spencer said as he reached for the hot water bottle he had already prepared. “Heat has a proven effect on relieving period cramps.”
“Thank you.” 
A timid smile appeared on her face when she realized her father was preparing her favorite breakfast. She stepped closer to catch a glimpse of the pan while chirping, “Chocolate chip pancakes?” 
“You know I’d do anything to make you feel better, Mimi,” Spencer spoke in a soft voice while offering his daughter a hug. 
This time she accepted, tightly wrapping her arms around him. Spencer was relieved that he didn’t mess up yet another thing. Marie was very bright and realized something Spencer had thought about earlier, too. 
“Wait,” she said as she stepped back. “You always make mom her favorite meal when she’s in a bad mood.”
“You have a lot in common with your mother, “ he explained. “I figured I should try what works for her.” 
“Now you’ll have to deal with two cranky girls in the house,” Marie laughed while taking out two plates. 
“I really don't mind,” he sincerely replied. “I can’t imagine what it’s like to have all kinds of uncomfortable side effects during your period. Taking care of your mom – and now you – is the least I could do.”
After a moment of silence she said, “Earlier you said that I’m becoming a woman now. I thought about that when I was in the shower… What if I don't wanna grow up yet?” 
“I don’t know if that helps, but… You’ll always be my little girl,” Spencer responded while filling both plates with pancakes. 
“So you’ll still watch Disney movies with me?” 
A wide smile spread over Spencer’s face as he took the plates to walk over to the couch. “I was hoping you'd ask!”
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Please like, reblog and leave a comment! I need your lovely words to stay motivated to write more stories.
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Taglist: @nomajdetective @reidsbookclub @gspenc @samuel-de-champagne-problems @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @malindacath @reidselle @alexxavicry @frickin-bats @spencersprettyslut @sebs-oxygen @happymangospot @cynbx @hotchandspencearedilfs @emiliaserpe @thenerdthatwrites @velvetthunder93 @saturnstringz @missabsey @guacam011y @hugyourlungs @reiderwriter @enamoradax @hales-17 @cham9ions @loaksulluyswife @ecneremili @xserenax-13 @grumpyy-bearr @luredwithpretzels @castiels-majestic-wings @super-nerd22 @pleasantwitchgarden @yeonalie @r-3dlips @evvy96 @torigorie @meyaareads @luvdella @luvley2k @bunnylovesani
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flowrmoth · 3 days
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...and then what happened?
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DAILY CLICK FOR PALESTINE
Synopsis: your date last night with another girl got real juicy and ellie couldn't help but ask about it...
AN: okay so... this is my first drabble/oneshot so i'm sorry if it sucks. also idk where this idea came from, i just love the idea of ellie being a flustered mess bcus of you hihi (also english is my second language so yeah)
wc: 1.9k
warnings: mdni!!! sexual themes, not really smut, pining, lowkey loser!ellie/perv!ellie?, ellies just obsessed with u ok?, reader being oblivious, no mentions of Y/N or readers looks! (the photos are just for the aesthetic),
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"So yeah, in conclusion, I totally beat Jesses ass. He doesn't know shit about pool." you laughed, getting comfortable on Ellies couch.
It was a relaxing Sunday night. You decided to spend the warm evening hanging out with Ellie, one of your closest friends. You definitely needed a breather after a long week of work. Ellie had informed you that she coped some weed from her dealer, so of course, you said yes to a smoke sesh.
You came prepared, nights like these at her place always meant that you would probably end up sleeping over and watching cheesy movies while covered in buttery popcorn and chocolate.
Now, you were sprawled out on her worn out, brown couch in your pajama shorts and a loose t-shirt. Ellies outfit and position mimicking yours, her long legs stretched out in front of her, eyes glued to the insanely boring Sci-Fi movie she picked out and a joint in hand. You were recalling the events of last Friday when you went out with Dina and Jesse and when you finally beat Jesse at pool.
"Damn, can't believe you beat the master himself. He won't ever live that down." Ellie chuckled, taking a drag from the newly lit spliff she rolled before you came over. She looked over at you with tired eyes and smiled. Fuck, she was never getting over this crush. To be honest, Ellie couldn't fucking stop thinking about you. Every day, every second, you were the only thing on her mind. But of course, she was too afraid to do anything about it, too scared that she would fuck everything up and lose you if she confessed. So she decided to remain quiet and enjoy you from afar, basking in your beauty ever time you would sleep in her bed or smoke her weed.
"Duh, I'm a hundred times better than him." you said with a smirk, looking over at Ellie and taking the joint from her slender fingers.
Fuck.
She just remembered. You had a date last night. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You've been raving about this girl, Sarah or whatever the hell her name was, for weeks. Some girl that was coming to your work and finally asked you out last week. Ellie broke a sweat. She had to know what happened.
Did you kiss?
Did you fuck?
God, she'd hoped not.
"Hey, um, how was your date last night? With Sarah?" she asked sheepishly, trying not to sound to dry and nervously fiddling with her ear. She looked over at you and your eyes widened.
"Oh my god! I can't believe I forgot to tell you! Her name's Sophia, Ellie, you know this." you jumped in your seat from excitement and turned your body to face Ellie. "Yeah, yeah, Sophia. Whatever. How was it?" Ellie rolled her eyes, not really caring for the girl.
You sat criss-cross from her, beaming with happiness. You couldn't wait to tell Ellie about the night. "Okay, so, you know that new restaurant?" you ranted with a big smile, retelling Ellie all about the dinner you had, the drinks you ordered and the pretty flowers your date had brought you, but all Ellie could think about was if you went home with the girl. She focused on the TV while you talked, looking over at you with brief glances, too afraid you might notice the disappointment and jealousy twinkling in her eyes or the way her fingers were gripping the joint so tightly she thought it might rip in half.
That girl hadn't even bought you the right damn flowers, or ordered the right drink. She didn't fucking know anything about you. Ellie knew that your favorite flowers weren't roses, far from it, and who the hell orders tequila for a first date? You were clearly a 'daises and whiskey' kinda girl. She fought the urge to roll her eyes.
After the part about the dinner and what not, you finally got to the part about going to Sophias apartment, which Ellie had secretly hoped had not happened. Ellie felt her heart drop and a cold sweat ran from her head right to her stomach. Fuck.
"Then, she asked me if I wanted to smoke, so of course I agreed immediately. I was nervous anyways because she was so hot, you know? Figured it would calm me down." you talked, moving your hands excitedly while Ellie was just nodding along, trying to match your energy as best as she could. She cringed at the word 'hot'.
"Wait, I'm gonna re-enact exactly what happened, 'cus damn, she knew what she was doing!" you laughed, definitely enjoying the replay of last night. Ellies mouth was dry. What the fuck do you mean re-enact what happened?
"And then, she sat on the couch and was all like 'Come here'." you made sure to put on a seductive voice and manspread a bit, while motioning your finger, trying to act out the scene as you remembered. At this point, Ellie was fucked. She prayed the story would be over soon so she could stop imagining you with someone that's not her.
Someone else's hands touching you, caressing you, tracing their fingers around every damn curve of your body that she so badly wanted to feel. It was too much for her.
"Yeah?" Ellie whispered, throwing a questioning look your way. Her hands were getting clammy and the joint was starting to die out.
"Yeah, and then..." you eye her up and down "I kind of like, straddled her. Like this." you chuckled, enjoying the recreation of previous events.
Slowly, you got up from your criss-cross position and started moving towards Ellies side of the couch. Your stare was a dangerous one, one that Ellie has never seen before. Her breath hitched and she swallowed thickly. She could feel the hairs on her neck standing up. Her bangs sticking to her slightly damp forehead.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. You were definitely too high, because what the hell is happening?
Your hazy, drunken stare set onto her panicked one. Your hands made their way to Ellies shoulders, gripping them for support. One of your legs swung over Ellies and settled at the side of her thighs, straddling them.
"Then," you took the joint from her shaky fingers and brought it up to your lips, taking a long drag "she did something like this." with a whisper, your hand cupped Ellies cheeks and squeezed them lightly so her lips would part. As you got closer to her face, you blew the thick smoke into her mouth. Ellies eyes immediately darted to your lips and her own got dry with nervousness. She puffed out the rest of the smoke.
Her words were caught in her throat, but she had to say something. Anything. Just to make you stay in this position longer.
"And, um... And then what?" Great fucking question, Ellie. Her voice came out small and hushed. She swore she tried not to sound too tense, but with your fucking perfect thighs sitting on her own, your perfect face so close to hers, your perfect perfume, that she would sometimes steal to from your purse and quickly spray on her wrist, was invading her space completely. She was awestruck, but still tried to play it cool like this wasn't the best thing that has happened to her. Her hands automatically moved to your plush thighs, giving them a light squeeze.
You let out a laugh and whispered, putting out the spliff in the ashtray next to you "And then, um, I don't know. She did this thing, on my neck, that felt so good, but I don't know how to do it." this was actually one of your first sexual/romantic experiences with someone, so it was still new and you still didn't really know what you were doing. You just thought you were sharing a great experience with a great friend.
"Y-yeah? What thing?" Ellie tried to egg you on with a nervous chuckle. This was too good to be true for it to be over so soon. She didn't dare move her hand from your legs, not even an inch. She could bet that her face looked like a fucking tomato right now from how hard she was blushing, but she didn't care when the prettiest girl she had ever seen was in her fucking lap.
"Something likes this..." you bow your head to meet your lips with Ellies neck. Your mouth hadn't even grazed her pulse point, but you could already feel it quickening. You press your lips to her sweet spot, just for a moment, before opening your mouth and sucking in her skin lightly. Her skin tasted so sweet, so soft, with a hint of her signature wood-y perfume and natural scent.
Ellie rolled her eyes so hard she thought she was seeing heaven. She was trying so hard not to let out a stifled moan that was threatening to escape her throat. That will definitely leave a hickey. You let her neck go, kissing the newly bruised spot once or twice, now moving your mouth to her jaw and peppering kisses along the way. Your hand eventually found its way to the back of Ellies head, tangling your fingers in her auburn locks.
Ellie couldn't help but squeeze your thighs, giving you encouragement to continue, her long fingers digging into your soft flesh. She tried so hard to not slide her hands up your thighs and under your pajama shorts. She felt every fucking inch of you underneath her. Your legs squeezing hers, your chests so unbelievably close, one of your hands resting on her shoulder while the other one was working its way through her messy hair. She was so aware of your pelvis pressing into hers, she prayed that you couldn't feel her every goddamn pulse.
You finished off your performance with a quick, delicate kiss at the corner of her lips as you slid away your hands from her body, leaving her all sweaty and worked up. You climbed off of her and went back to your side of the couch, completely unaware of the fucking effect you have on Ellie.
Ellie almost whimpered when she felt your heat leave her, suddenly feeling cold and empty without your body on hers. Like a missing puzzle piece. She shifted upwards and cleared her throat, tucking her hair behind her ears with her shaky palms, rubbing them on her grey shorts. She didn't dare look at you, fearing that you would see her wide eyes and red cheeks.
"Sorry, I hope that wasn't that bad." you glance at Ellie and say with an unknowing smile, acting like nothing happened. Like the greatest thing that Ellie has ever witnessed didn't just occur. You returned to your phone, probably texting the girl whose kisses you just acted out.
Ellie felt sick. Sick with want and sick with the fact that that wasn't real. What just happened wasn't real, but holy fuck, did she enjoy it.
"Yeah, no, that was, uh, good. Wow. Can't believe s-she did all that." she tried to stutter out with closed eyes and clenched fists, getting up from the couch.
"Right? I know!" you returned. "I'm just gonna go to- Yeah, be right back." Ellie said quickly while making her way to the bathroom, almost tripping on her own feet in the process.
She swiftly got in and went straight to the sink. Her whole body felt like it was on fire, not the mention the beads of sweat on her forehead and the damp spot that formed beneath her black boxers. Fuck, she was so embarrassed that only a fucking kiss on the neck got her so worked up. She turned on the tap and splashed her face with cold water, looking at herself in the mirror.
Fuck, Ellie was so in love with you.
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fyorina · 2 days
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ᡣ𐭩 DEATH BY A THOUSAND CUTS
FEATURING: dazai osamu
SUMMARY: seven months after his defection, you run into dazai osamu by sheer chance. you know in your heart what you should do—traitors are to be disposed of, regardless of any previous relationship you might've had with them... but can you bring yourself to do what must be done? or will you be more driven by the questions you desperately need answered?
(wordcount: 7.1k; fem!reader, pm!reader, angsty (i promiseeeee i have some happier ones coming up with pm!reader and pmzai), alcoholism, dazai is in a particularly bad mental state)
AUTHOR'S NOTES: this one was suchhhh a doozy. the third installment of my pm!reader & pm!dazai universe, this is why i had to retcon he's my collar because originally pm!reader didn't see him at all during the 4 years but i got the idea for this fic like 2 ?? weeks ago and it was too good to not use - tomorrow i think i'll put up the masterlist for it so you guys can see the chronology and planned installments
Against all odds, you run into Dazai Osamu seven months after his defection.
You should put a bullet in his skull. You watch absently from the mouth of the alley as the ex-Port Mafia executive groans, trying to push himself to his feet only to crash back onto the pavement, blood smeared across his face from a crooked nose and split lip, bile pooled on the ground where he’d landed.
Gross, you think, lip curling up in disgust as his lithe fingers smear through the vomit, blunt nails scraping against the pavement as he attempts to push himself up again but fails. His shoulders are heaving, breath slow and labored as he lets out another wretched sound, crumpling back to the ground. 
You click the safety off of your gun, pulling it out of your pocket as you quietly make your way deeper into the alley, over to where he’s still struggling to get off the ground. He doesn’t even acknowledge your presence until he hits the ground hard again after nearly making it to his feet. This time, he falls onto his shoulder and gasps in pain as he rolls onto his back, blinking up blearily through glazed-over eyes that can hardly focus on you or the gun pointed at his head.
You should just get it over with, pull the trigger, and leave the body for cleanup to handle. It’d be a better fate than he deserves, cleaner and quicker than he’d ever give himself, and not even half as painful as it’ll be when the Port Mafia inevitably get their hands back on him. 
You’d be sparing him, really; it would be a mercy.
And it’s what is expected of you. Letting a traitor as high profile as Dazai Osamu go free when you have a clear chance to execute him would be more than enough to have you stripped of your rank and thrown into the torture chambers, body dumped in the river when the Port Mafia is done punishing you. 
But still, for some reason, your finger hesitates as you move to pull the trigger. 
“You…” His voice is so slurred that you can hardly make out coherent words, but you use his words as an excuse to bide even more time, curious to see what he’s going to say. You can smell the whiskey on him from where you’re standing, his skin is paler than it usually is, and you notice, idly, that the bandages on his right eye are gone and you wonder when he chose to shed them. “You’re not real.”
Your eye twitches in irritation. 
You pull the trigger. 
If he was sober, he would have expected the reaction from you and dodged the bullet, but he’s not sober, so his eyes fly open in shock as the bullet grazes his ear and embeds itself in the pavement next to his head. He doesn’t look any more sobered up by the pain, which you suppose is a testament to how drunk he really is, but he does look significantly more confused. 
“You shot me,” he says, pale lips parted as he stares up at you—too pale, you notice absently, brows furrowing a bit as you try to consider what to do.
“Yeah,” you say, voice rough with irritation. “Real enough for you?”
Dazai blinks, you don’t even think your words are registering and you don’t know what the fuck you’re doing. 
Get it over with, you tell yourself again, this time positioning your gun over his forehead. A clean kill. You won’t move it to the side at the last minute again. You remind yourself that this is what he deserves—he’s a traitor to the Port Mafia, to you. Killing him now would be a mercy compared to what the Port Mafia would do to him, compared to what he’d do to himself. 
He stares up at you, brown eyes wide and glassy. He parts his lips to speak but you can’t give yourself the same excuse; you don’t wait for his words this time. 
You pull the trigger again.
But Dazai is moving. He rolls over onto his side trying to push himself back to his feet and the bullet lodges right into the ground where his head had once been lying. You stare down at it in disbelief, gun falling to your side as your fingers start to feel a bit numb and clunky, breath catching as you realize what you’d almost just done—what you tried to do. 
Dazai makes it to his knees and he tries to reach out for you but you step back out of reach. His brows furrow before he keels over again, dry heaving now—there’s enough bile around him for you to realize he’s probably thrown up everything in his stomach and then some. He leans against the wall, the glassiness of his eyes spilling over his cheeks as he continues to dry heave but your gaze is still trained down on the ground where the bullet is embedded in the ground where his head had just been laying. 
You just tried to-
You think you’re the one who feels sick now. The dinner you’d had out with Chuuya and Kouyou rises to the back of your throat as you take another step away from Dazai. Your vision blurs as your gaze turns to him again, but instead of the tattered and vomit-stained clothes he’s wearing now, he’s back in the dark suit you’re accustomed to, crumpled on the ground still, but not because he’s drunk because he’s been wounded on a mission that he took on so you wouldn’t have to. 
You just tried to kill Dazai.
Dazai, who’s been your closest friend since the two of you were sixteen and at the center of the most violent conflict to rock Yokohama’s foundations. Entirely inseparable, forever entwined since the moment the two of you met; the type of instant click that most people could only ever dream of experiencing in their lives. 
You almost killed Dazai.
Dazai, who promised to put a bullet in Ace’s head if the man ever came near you again after he found out the newly promoted executive had insinuated putting one of his collars on you during a confrontation between the two of you. He knew that even he would face consequences for threatening another executive, that he would face even more if he dared to follow through with his threat, but he didn’t care and he had every intention of following through if it meant keeping you safe.
You would have killed Dazai if not for sheer luck. 
Dazai, who used to kiss you with trembling fingers and quivering lips, because for as much as his reputation as the Demon Prodigy had spread throughout the country, he was still just a teenage boy who’d never had his first kiss until the two of you got drunk on champagne after a successful mission when he made the mistake of admitting to you that he’s never kissed anyone before. The two of you’d spent the entire night giggling between chaste kisses, getting through just about two bottles of champagne before you started throwing up.
He held back your hair and laughed at you as you leaned over the toilet, miserable. But he was gentle with you in a way that Dazai Osamu is never gentle with anyone, fingers carding through your hair, rubbing absent circles on your back to soothe you as you choked over sobs and gags. 
Then there’s you. You, who not only a moment ago, looked down at him with your lip curling up in disgust, unable to hold your grimace at the way he laid in his own vomit. You lifted the barrel of your gun in his direction not once, but twice, and you pulled the trigger not once, but twice.
When you showed vulnerability to him, he showed you a type of tenderness that everyone thought was long lost to the notorious Demon Prodigy. 
When he finally shows vulnerability to you, you only show him cruelty in response.
You try to convince yourself that it’s different, that the circumstances are different now but the words ring hollow in your head, taking no root, because you think the circumstances shouldn't matter. This is Dazai. Dazai. There are no circumstances that justify executing him.
Your head spins and you take another step away, you don’t know where you dropped your gun and you don’t want to know. You don’t want to look at it. You don’t want to touch it. You’ll send someone else after it later. You blink, and for a moment, you can visualize what almost happened: you can see Dazai motionless on the ground, blood pooling around his head and a bullet wound piercing through his forehead. You gag, pressing your hand to your mouth as you force back the bile that nearly comes up. 
“Wait,” Dazai garbles out, pushing off the wall toward you but he propels himself right into the ground again, face first, scraping his cheek on the concrete. “Don’t leave again.”
Again? The word nearly pulls you out of your daze, the bitterness that’s poisoned you for seven months returning with a vengeance as your eyes focus on him. 
Dazai, who left you without a word or a warning. Not even the slightest goodbye. He abandoned you like you meant nothing to him. 
“I need to-” he gags again as he pushes himself to his knees. He tries to reach forward again but his whole body sways, eyes half-rolling back as he tries to steady himself, on the verge of passing out. “I need to tell you this time. I need to-”
He doesn’t finish the sentence, slumping back over onto the ground unconscious—in a puddle of his own blood and vomit, naturally. The logical part of you knows you should just leave him there. You’re already playing with fire by not executing him on the spot, but you also know if you leave him here, it’ll be as good as a death sentence. If he doesn’t die on his own from alcohol poisoning, then he’ll certainly be found by the Port Mafia patrols. You think Dazai is a fool for drinking so much so deep in Port Mafia territory, for not being careful enough to make sure he didn’t wander out in the open. 
He should know better. 
He does know better.
A part of you wonders if it was intentional, if he thought that he’d stumble into Port Mafia territory and he’d run into someone eager to lay claim to the fame of being Dazai Osamu’s executioner.
If that’s the case, he nearly got his wish—that thought alone almost sends you spiraling over the edge again, having to shove away more nausea. You force all thoughts of the Port Mafia and betrayal to the back of your mind as you fall to your knees next to him, gathering him up into your arms and pushing yourself back to your feet. He curls into you instinctively, even while unconscious, smaller than you remember, smearing blood and bile all over your suit. Your grip on him tightens, a shaky breath escaping your lips when you realize that this is the first time you’ve touched him since the night he left. 
You shake your head to clear your mind, desperately trying to focus. You can’t stay out in the open with him for long otherwise you’ll risk someone seeing you with him, and that’ll open a can of worms you’re not prepared to deal with.
You’ll drop him off somewhere safe, and then you’ll get back to base.
That’s all.
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That is not all.
The safehouse in Sakae that the two of you would run to whenever you wanted to avoid Mori is just how you left it the last time you spent the night with him there over half a year ago. One of his jackets is still draped over the couch, one of your ties thrown haphazardly on the ground—you remember the night vividly, the way he smiled against your lips as he lead you into the back bedroom, stumbling over each other and fumbling with buttons as you tried to undress the other while walking to the room, high off the success of a mission that everyone had said would fail because the odds were so stacked against the two of you. Even Chuuya had laughed in your face when you said you’d take the mission, but you knew so long as Dazai had your back on it, it would work out in your favor. 
He’s woken up several times, you don’t even know what he’s saying in his incoherent babbles. Every time he wakes back up, he’s calling for you, stumbling out of the bed you laid him in after getting him cleaned up and crashing to the ground before he reaches the hall. It’s irritating, you have to go back to help him back into the bed every time and he starts babbling again, passing out before you can figure out what he’s saying. You finally had to move yourself into the back bedroom with him so he didn’t try to get up again.
You don’t know why you’re still here. 
You lean your forehead against your hand as you sit on the bed next to where he’s lying, one leg tucked beneath you while the other hangs over the side. You tell yourself it’s because you don’t want him to get up drunk trying to look for you and then crack his head open, but it’s a weak excuse because Dazai Osamu is not your issue anymore. It’s not your job to watch over him when he gets shit-faced drunk, it’s not your job to patch him up when he gets hurt, it’s not your job to look out for him. 
He left you, not vice versa, You don’t owe him anything. He lost that privilege when he betrayed you. Fuck the Port Mafia, he betrayed you when he left without a word. You deserved better than that. You deserved a goodbye. You don’t owe him shit. You should leave him here to rot in his own vomit and blood but-
But you won’t.
Your gaze drifts back over to him. He’s still out cold—cleaner now, because it had never just been ‘get him somewhere safe and then go back to the base,’ as soon as you got him into the safehouse you wrangled him into the bathroom to clean him up. He was uncharacteristically pliant as you manhandled him into the shower. You suppose it was because he was unconscious for half of it but even for the moments where he was awake and blearily blinking the water out of his eyes, looking up at you through wet bangs with those stupid big eyes of his, as if he was still unsure if you were actually there.
Instinctively, you reach out to brush the back of your knuckles against his swollen, split lip, wondering if it was just from him being clumsy while drunk or if he’d managed to piss someone off at a bar. Both are equally likely—Dazai is a rather cantankerous drunk when he’s alone and drunk on whiskey, and even after cleaning him up and dousing him in soap to get out the reeking scent of his vomit out from where it’d sunken into his skin, shoving a toothbrush into his mouth to brush his teeth and scrubbing so they don’t rot from the bile, you can still smell the whiskey on his breath.
You wonder how much he drank. His skin is still pale, his breath shuddered, and he’s shivering even though you wrapped him in three thick blankets. Some degree of alcohol poisoning, that’s for sure. You tell yourself that’s why you’re not leaving—you don’t want to leave before you’re sure he’s pulled through the worst of it. You’re not going to admit to yourself that you don’t want to leave because you’re worried it’ll be the last time you see him for real this time. 
You hesitate right before your knuckles brush his skin, swallowing thickly before you withdraw your hand back into your lap, eyes sliding shut as you sigh.
What the hell are you doing?
If anyone from the Port Mafia knew what you were doing right now, you’d be hunted down right alongside him, branded as a traitor and sentenced to death. Chuuya would kill you if he knew what you were doing right now—and not because you betrayed the Port Mafia by helping Dazai, instead because you’re a fucking idiot. You’ve done a lot of stupid things in your life, but this might take the cake for the stupidest, sticking your neck out for someone who didn’t even care enough to tell you goodbye. 
You rub your forehead, tired. You try to summon the anger you felt when you first found out he betrayed the Port Mafia from Mori and Chuuya—from the hot fury you felt in the direct aftermath, screaming and breaking everything you could get your hands on as you cursed his name and burned everything he left in your apartment to the cold rage you felt when you finally calmed down, bitter and lonely and betrayed by the one person you never thought would betray you—but you can’t. And you think it’s pathetic because what use is all of that anger if you can’t utilize it when the reason for it is lying right before you?
If Chuuya were here right now, he’d drag you out by the hair and leave Dazai to suffer on his own. You left your phone in the kitchen after turning off your location, because he was already buzzing incessantly wondering where you are. You’d told him that you wanted to stop by one of the fishing ports in Kanazawa to check on a small weapons shipment that should’ve arrived earlier in the night before heading back to your shared apartment—you’d moved in with him after Dazai’s betrayal. He made the executive decision himself, not giving you a choice in the matter because he realized that you living on your own in the apartment that Dazai had practically moved into with you was not conducive to you healing from his betrayal.
Plus, you think he was lonely too without Dazai around anymore, but he’d never admit that.
You should’ve been back an hour ago. You’re sure that he’s getting suspicious and it’s only a matter of time before he tries to track you down. You don’t think he knows about this safe house in particular, Dazai had threatened you with piling up mission reports onto you if you told him about this one, but you wouldn’t be surprised if Chuuya learned about it through other means—somehow, he always seems to know everything. 
You sigh again, heavier this time as you try to figure out what to do. You know what you should do, but you also know you’re not going to do that. Your gaze drags back over to him and your breath catches when you realize he’s awake again, bleary brown eyes trained on you, brows furrowed. 
His lips part to speak again and you tense, waiting for whatever he has to say, unsure if you’ll even understand it.
“You… came with me. You never come with me. Are you… really here?” 
Even though his eyes are still glazed over and muddled, his voice is less garbled than it was before. You think that’s a good sign, but even so, you let out an even heavier sigh, this one more irritated, and a bit confused because you don’t even know what that means: you never come with me. 
“Yes, Dazai,” you say sharply, but then you let out a puff of air. The same memories that hit you before coming right back to you, remembering all of the nights Dazai would stay up having to take care of you, patient in a way that he never was with anybody. You soften your voice a bit as you say, “Yes. I’m here.”
Dazai looks at you like he doesn’t believe you. He blinks once slowly, then his brows furrow deeper and his lips turn downward.
“You don’t call me Dazai.” He speaks the accusation slowly, as if to make himself sound more coherent, but you can still hear the clear slur in his voice. “You never-”
You turn away because if you don’t, you think you might lose your temper. He’s drunk, you remind yourself, but he’s still ripping open wounds that never properly healed, because how dare he expect you to still call him by his given name after everything. It had taken months for you to get used to calling him Dazai again and-
You feel your chest start to cave in again and your throat spasms. Your eyes flutter shut and god, you want to hate him. You thought you did hate him, you convinced yourself of it in all of the bitter rage and acidic betrayal you’ve felt the past seven months but now that you’re confronted with him again, you know that it was never hate. You could never hate Dazai Osamu. You'd just missed him so terribly that the pain was easy to mistake as hate; love and hate has always been a treacherously thin line, and Dazai more than anyone else wavers on either side of it.
Your heart feels like it’s about to leap from your chest and crawl right back to him, you have to physically place your hand over your chest as if to hold it in place, to make sure the traitorous thing can’t go back to the very man that tore it shreds. You force yourself to breathe, in and out, steady, trying to settle down. 
This was a mistake, you realize, this was a mistake. 
Just as you’re about to push yourself up, you feel lithe fingers curl around your arm. You freeze, not even daring to glance back at Dazai. You can hear him pushing the covers off of him as he crawls closer to you, the mattress dipping beneath his weight. His movements are unsteady, and you can’t bring yourself to push him off of you when you feel him slump against your back.
His weight is familiar, comforting in a way that it shouldn’t be. If you close your eyes, you can imagine that you’re back at the Port Mafia base seven months ago and Dazai is draping himself across your back, complaining about being overworked by Mori and trying to convince you to take over his paperwork. You’d have to drag him halfway across the base trying to get to your office with his dead weight hanging onto you, you remember all of the wary stares from your subordinates as they try not to let their gaze linger on the two of you but let their curiosity get the best of them regardless.
You hate that you don’t push him off right away, that you’re letting yourself indulge in his touch again. You’ve moved on from this—from him. It’s been seven months. You’re over all of this.
“You… understand, don’t you?” 
You barely hear the words muffled against your back, but you do and you can’t help but stiffen at them. He shifts against you, fingers biting into your skin as he pulls himself up a bit more to bury his face in the crook of your neck, arms looped around your waist as he leans all of his weight onto your back. You can feel his breath warm and shuddered against your neck, making your hair stand on end, and his hands are limp in your lap now, fingers brushing against the material of the clean slacks you’d pulled on after getting Dazai showered.
It’s all so familiar that it could make you sick.
“How could I?” you ask bitterly, even though you know you shouldn’t take out your resentment on him while he’s so drunk; he probably won’t remember any of this in the morning anyway. There’s no point, you’ll just be wasting your energy.
His arms tighten around you, breath hitching against your skin. “I had to, Odasaku-”
The noise you let out is such a sharp scoff that you can feel Dazai flinch behind you. You almost shove him off of you but you refrain, taking in a deep breath to calm yourself down. You never really had any feelings about Odasaku—he was always just there, you heard about him from Dazai occasionally and he seemed pleasant enough the few times you encountered him—but after all of this, you can’t help but hold a grudge against him, irrationally blaming him for Dazai leaving you.
“Odasaku wasn’t your only friend,” you say tightly. “You had me. Chuuya. You-”
“It’s not the same,” Dazai protests, clinging to you as if he hadn’t just driven a knife right through your back into your heart. 
This time you do shove him off, barely sparing him a glance as he lets out a surprised yelp, sprawling back onto the bed. You push away the mistiness that threatens your eyes, breathing in and out slowly to try to keep yourself calm. It’s not the same, you repeat his words, bitterness poisoning your blood and clouding your head. What the fuck does that even mean? You know logically you should take his words with a grain of salt, that he’s so drunk he probably doesn’t even know what he’s saying, but you just feel so angry that it’s hard for you to keep that in mind. 
You hear him scrambling behind you: a thump as he hits the floor hard and then a rush of movement as he pushes himself to his knees. His fingers curl around your ankle before you can get further away and you have a half a mind to kick him off of you and leave.
You don’t.
“Don’t leave,” he pleads. He drags himself to his knees, pulling at your pants and it takes all of your self-control to not look back down at him. “I didn’t-it came out wrong. I didn't mean it like that.”
“How did you mean it then?” you ask him, even though you by all means should not even bother to hear his shitty explanation.
“I just-I didn’t mean it like that.” You’ve never heard Dazai’s voice crack before, but it does now. “Don’t leave. I miss you.”
“You miss me?” you spit out, and you finally turn to look down at him—a mistake, of course, because he’s on his knees in front of you, looking up at you with those stupid, big brown eyes and you almost let your anger fizzle away at the sight of it. He’s drunk, you remind yourself again, but it doesn’t stop you from snapping at him. “You left me, Dazai. You have no right to miss me.”
“But I do.” His fingers fumble for your hand, grabbing one of yours with both of his. “I miss you so much, I think about you all the time.”
His lashes flutter, fingers brushing along your forearm as he presses his lips to your knuckles and then to your pulse point before leaning forward to rest his forehead on your thigh. You can’t even look at him, keeping your eyes trained on the wall, because your lashes feel wet and heavy and you know that you’ll give into him if you look at him now and he doesn’t deserve that.
“I couldn’t go to you before I left,” Dazai whispers and he sounds oddly coherent now even though you know he’s not. “I would’ve asked you to come with me.”
For some reason, that hurts worse than if he’d just admitted he didn’t care enough to say goodbye. Because what does that even mean, I would’ve asked you to come with me, would that have been so bad? He didn’t want you with him? Why wouldn’t he have wanted you with him? If you had left, he would’ve been the first person you ran to, begging him to come with you.
“How terrible that would’ve been,” you say, and you’re proud that your voice remains cold and steady, not betraying the hurt ripping through your chest.
“I wouldn’t have been able to handle it,” he says, voice breaking over a hiccup. “Odasaku had just died and-”
He cuts himself, and you dare to look down at him when you feel him lift his face from your thigh. You regret it immediately. Glassy, glazed-over eyes beg for you to understand, and you scare yourself because you want to understand when he shouldn’t even matter to you anymore. You’ve moved on. You have. It’s been seven months. He left you without a word. So why do you care so much for what he has to say right now?
“You wouldn’t have come with me,” he says, shaking his head. “You would’ve said no. You never would have chosen me over the Mafia.”
Your lips part to deny the allegations, to say that of course, you would have come with him, but the words fizzle out before they even form on your tongue because-
“You can’t even bring yourself to deny it, can you?” Dazai asks, and although he sounds more cogent now, you can’t help but notice that he’s starting to look sick again, the back of his throat making that faint clicking sound it always makes when he’s about to throw up. “You never would have chosen me.”
You would choose Dazai Osamu over a lot of things. You would choose to save his life before yours if put in the position, and you would choose to trust him over anyone else in the whole world. You’d follow him to the depths of hell and deep into the shadows, until your blood is black and corrupted and you’re entirely irredeemable, but you can’t follow him into the light. 
You can’t choose him if it means betraying the Port Mafia. With his defection, the two have become mutually exclusive: Dazai or the Port Mafia, there’s no way of having both anymore. The boy you’ve come to love or the only home you’ve ever known. The only family you’ve ever had. A shitty family maybe, but a family nonetheless. If you don’t belong with the Port Mafia, you don’t belong anywhere on this earth, and as someone who’s always had a desperate fear of alienation, the thought makes you sick.
You stare at him, throat tight, and then you say, colder than you intend for it to come across, “... If that’s really why you didn’t say goodbye, then I’m glad you didn’t put me in that position.”
The expression that crosses Dazai’s face is something caught between ruin and shock—and you can’t help but wonder if he held out hope, thinking maybe he was wrong in his assumptions. That there had been a chance that you might’ve chosen him if he’d given you the option. That he’s been living his life in the what-ifs for the past seven months and now that he’s finally gotten the chance to bare his heart to you, you’ve crushed it.
Your chest tightens, your throat spasms and it takes all your self-control to not immediately take back the words, regret flooding you so intensely that it nearly makes you physically stumble. Because it’s true, you never would have picked Dazai over the Mafia, but he didn’t have to know that—especially not now, when he’s drunk and vulnerable in a way that he’s never allowed himself to be before.
You hope, for his sake and your conscience, that he doesn’t remember any of this in the morning.
His lips part to respond again but his hand is flying to his mouth instantly, doubling over, and you’re cursing, reaching for the trash bin you’d brought into the bedroom and falling to your knees next to him, helping him kneel upright and holding the trash bin in front of him as he starts gagging again.
“I would’ve-” He’s still trying to talk through the bouts of nausea, gasping over air, body trembling as he leans into you for balance.
You don’t want to hear what he has to say.
“Dazai-”
“I would’ve chosen you,” he finally forced out, voice breaking over the words and you’re not sure if it’s a sob or another heave that escapes his lips as he continues. “If the positions were reversed, I would’ve chosen you.”
Oh.
The words echo in your head so loudly that it makes you want to cover your ears even though you know it won’t do anything. You want to accuse him of lying, tell him that he’s full of shit and just trying to make you feel guilty, but you don’t think he’s capable of lying right now and you don’t think this is anything Dazai would have ever admitted to you if he was sober. He guards his heart more carefully than anyone you’ve ever met—in the two and a half years you’d known him, he never admitted he cared about you. You knew it just from how he treated you, but you think he might’ve ripped his own tongue out before actually admitting it.
You wrap an arm around him as his whole body shudders through another gag and he tries to push you off—angry, upset, you don’t know what he might be feeling because you’ve never seen him like this before—but your arm only tightens around him and Dazai crumbles.
He heaves again, clutching the small garbage can to his face as he throws up all of the water you’d managed to get in him before he passed out earlier. Tears spill over his cheeks, his face is pale and his lashes are fluttering again, on the verge of passing back out. You swallow thickly as he leans into you, letting him collapse into your chest after he’s finished vomiting.
“Will-” he tries to say, but his voice is slurred and weak. He’s desperately trying to stay conscious, you can tell, but he’s fighting a losing battle. “Will you be here in the morning?”
No.
You don’t want to say it, you think you’ve done enough damage for the night, but there’s no need. As soon as the words leave his mouth, Dazai is slumping over unconscious, head laying limp on your arm, lashes brushing his cheek. You sigh as your grip around him tightens before you adjust him in his arms to carry him back into the bed, laying him comfortably beneath the covers.
You don’t linger for long after that. After another hour or two passes and Dazai doesn’t wake up again, you make your way back into the bedroom, raising your hand to his face to brush away the dark locks in his eyes before cupping his cheek. Even in his sleep, he leans into your touch, and it makes your chest feel so agonizingly tight that you think you might be having a heart attack.
You lean down to press your lips to his forehead, to his nose, and then to his lips, indulging yourself one last time. Your forehead rests against his as you consider your words—there are a million things you’d like to say to him before you leave, but you don’t have nearly enough time to get them all off of your chest.
Instead, you tell him softly, “I hope you don’t remember any of this in the morning.” You don’t move your hand from where it’s caressing his cheek as you stand straight again, thumb drawing absent circles on his skin. Your voice is thick with emotion, eyes welling with tears that don’t spill over. “We’ll meet again one day.”
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Dazai wakes up the next morning with a hangover so bad that he thinks he might die.
He sits up in bed and is instantly groaning, hand flying to his forehead as his brain throbs inside of his skull. He needs to figure out where he is—the last thing he remembers is…
The bar?
His eyes slide shut as he tries to think, but it only makes his head hurt more. He flops back onto the bed, arms splayed out. He still feels nauseous, he can feel it rising to his throat and he desperately does not want to throw up again—it’s one thing vomiting when he’s too drunk to remember, it’s an entirely different thing to vomit while he’s sober and conscious. 
Dazai thinks he might rather die. 
He lets out a heavy sigh as he begs the nausea to go away, breathing in and out deeply. He lifts his hand to brush a lock of hair away from where it’s tickling his ear and-
Ouch.
Dazai’s eyes fly open again, confused now, as he rips his hand away from where he’d touched his ear to stare up at the ceiling. He’s used to waking up with odd injuries after a night of blacking out at whatever bar will still have him, but his ear is a particularly strange place to be wounded, isn’t it?
Driven by curiosity now, he forces himself into a sitting position, and it’s only when he pushes himself out of bed, does he finally start to recognize the room he’s in. His lips part in a distinct mixture of shock and confusion as he looks around the room slowly, making his way over to the mirror.
The safehouse in Sakae?
His chest feels heavier instantly, and a tight feeling rises to his throat as he catches sight of an old jacket of yours draped on the desk chair, the one that had ripped during the last mission you went on together—just the way you left it the last time the two of you were here. A pair of his old dress shoes are lying haphazardly outside the closet door, he’s sure that if he peeks into the closet, all of your suits will be hanging there because you refused to share the closet with him so all of his spares are stuffed in the dresser. Dazai suddenly feels sick again and he doubts it’s from the hangover this time.
How did he get here?
He needs another drink desperately.
But first… Dazai leans over the dresser to look into the mirror—a bit dusty after so many months with no one stopping in—he lifts his hand to brush his hair behind and then-
What?
His jaw drops and his brows furrow, his fingers graze over where the top of his ear used to be, only to find the whole upper quarter of it missing. 
What the fuck? He mouths as he stares at the missing cartilage, and then he looks back around the room, and just as his eyes catch a trash bin that should be in the bathroom, his vision blurs, and his head is aching. He’s suddenly stumbling down an alley, he’s lying in a puddle of his own vomit, unable to stand up straight. He can hear someone approaching and he knows he should get up, find some dumpster or crevice to wait out the night until he’s sober enough to get the fuck out of the heart of the Mafia’s territory in Yokohama, but he can hardly move.
He can lift his head from the pavement just enough to-
Just enough to see you.
Dazai can hardly cope with the emotions that rattle his chest. Longing, because he’s missed you so terribly the past seven months. Disbelief, because you shot his fucking ear off. And… and Dazai isn’t quite sure what the other emotions are. They’re heavy and light at the same time, his chest feels bubbly but his ankles feel chained—it’s a weird mixture of hope and dread, he thinks, because the safehouse is eerily quiet, seemingly void of any life other than Dazai himself, but the chance that you might still be here…
“Will you be here in the morning?”
The faint memory of the last words he spoke before he passed out the last time rings through his head, and his feet drag against the ground as he forces himself to move from the bedroom into the main room of the safe house. His fingers hesitate against the wood of the door—scared that he’s going to open it and you won't be there, scared that he’s going to open it and you will be there. He doesn’t remember the things he said to you last night, but he knows that he’d been staring at old pictures the two of you took before he blacked out. He can hardly imagine the things he might’ve said to you when given the chance.
It takes all of his strength and all of his willpower to push open the door. 
It takes even more to actually step out of the bedroom.
The safe house is empty.
You’re nowhere to be found.
Dazai’s feet are moving before he’s fully even registered what’s happening.
He makes his way into the kitchen to rummage around for another bottle for him to drown away his sorrows, but he doesn’t pull out the untouched bottle of his favorite whiskey he knows is sitting in the cabinet—he goes straight for the wine fridge. He nearly shatters three bottles of whites before he finally gets his hands on your favorite red, the one you’d asked him to stock up in there for you three days before he left, knowing that the two of you had a mission coming up and you’d be celebrating here, as always. Not knowing that he’d have betrayed you by then. 
He struggles to uncork it, the frustration causing his headache to return with a vengeance. It takes an embarrassingly long amount of time for him to finally get the bottle open, but when he does, he brings it to his lips immediately, eyes sliding shut as he downs a few generous gulps.
The taste is familiar. Pleasant. It makes his heart ache with such an intense longing for you that it nearly makes him throw up.
He can almost imagine that he’s tasting it off of your lips instead.
He leans over the counter, elbows digging into the marble as he tries to push away the ugly feelings ripping apart his chest. He can’t. He never can. He hasn’t been able to since the day he left you behind seven months ago. He can only numb it.
With a hand closed around the neck of the bottle, Dazai slides down the cabinet to sit on the ground. His cheeks feel wet, but he doesn’t dare lift his hand to acknowledge the tears sliding down them.
Instead, he lifts the bottle to his lips again and drowns himself in the memories of you for another night. 
204 notes · View notes
lovifie · 20 hours
Text
Well, I Wasn't On That Tunnel ❤️
Masterlist - Taglist Form
Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3
Pairings: Ghoap x Reader.
Warnings: Poly relationship, rotating POV (mostly Simon's), panic attack, mentions of guns and war (this is COD so), mentions of cheating but it just three idiots not knowing what poly is ❤️
Soap gets thrown into action ridiculously quick, barely passing the psychological evaluation and he is ready to go back to war. It had costed you multiple fights with Price, even with Laswell, to try and keep him from going back.
It didn't matter how many times you debated it, or how solid your arguments were. If the psychiatrist decided that Johnny was ready.... He was. 
Even if she contradicted herself, even if you said Johnny had forgotten half of his experience, even if you said he was still in physical rehab. 
All of that didn't matter.
And no matter how hard you fought it, barely a couple of months after you returned to base, Johnny was putting on his uniform to leave. 
Price wasn't the only one you argued with, the frustration of feeling like you were sending Johnny to the slaughterhouse caused you to be irascible and, even if you didn't mean to, to lash out at anyone who would disagree with you. 
Even if Johnny was the one who was opposing you.
"Lass, I don't want to go away being in a fight with you." He began to say as he strapped on his vest.
"Then don't leave." You replied from the door frame and your arms crossed.
"Baby... We've been over this, please.... I have to..." She said, hands raised and voice soft as if speaking to a frightened animal.
And that's how you felt, like a dog being promised by his owner that he's not going to abandon him as he walks out the door with a target on his forehead.
Just like Johnny, you had also had sessions with the base psychiatrist; but unlike him, you had not been given a pass. You were more than ready to be discharged, but if they clared you, then you would have the power to say that Johnny was not ready to return.
So the amnesiac who two months ago could not walk was prepared to return to the battlefield. And you, whose only psychological damage was to see him dead, were bound hand and foot as you watched him go to almost certain death.
"No! You don't have to, Johnny! Don't you realize what they're doing!!!?" You burst out, once again, uncrossing your arms to express your displeasure with the situation.
"Of course I realize! I have amnesia, I'm not an idiot!" He responded in the same tone as you, causing guilt to build up in your opinion. "I'm still capable of making my own decisions so you don't need to make them for me anymore! Don't you realize I need to feel useful!"
Johnny didn't want to yell at you, or lose control and say something he didn't mean; but he was still human and frustration had gotten the better of him too. 
Ever since he saw how Ghost had left you in your room, the fact that you had been together obvious; Johnny hadn't been able to help but compare himself to the blond. 
At first it was physical, the time immobilized had left him thinner. When Gaz showed him a picture from before the accident he doubted that he could ever be as wide as he was before... Almost the same as Ghost. 
But not now.
Now he was shorter, weaker, more inexperienced... He had nothing to beat him with, to compete for you. And Johnny knew it. 
Besides, he was sure that you must have felt him as a burden. A big baby you had to take care of so he wouldn't choke if you didn't cut his food. 
So when he was asked if he wanted to come back, he didn't think twice. Later, when he told you about it and saw how your expression changed to one of absolute panic, he regretted not asking you before agreeing. But his pride was hurt when he saw you arguing with everyone you could to keep him from going. 
This was not your first discussion on the subject, and every time it ended you both felt like idiots; for hurting the other indirectly and for knowing that you were not able to convey your own feelings to each other. 
And Simon has been the scavenger vulture that has taken advantage of each and every one of those discussions. 
As soon as he realized that you had argued, Simon would go from one to the other. 
"I'm worried about him too, love. But Johnny's still Johnny, nothing's going to happen to him, you'll see." He would say to you.
"I understand you, Johnny.... It's normal that you want to go back to the battlefield.... It's where you always shine the most..." I said to him.
And so on and so forth.
Simon wasn't looking to fuel any enmity between the two of them, it didn't make sense when he was the one who wanted to join the pair. But when he saw the small chasm that the argument created, he only strove to shape it into his own form; to pull the two of them into him once inside. 
It was a turning point on his relationship with Johnny. In no way enough for the blue eyed man to like him, but now he answered when he talked to him. 
He had managed to catch Johnny with his guard down a couple of nights ago, after what seemed like the biggest argument between the two of you. You didn't even let Simon in your room. But Johnny did. 
They spend the greater part of the night talking, it was obvious that Johnny has been wanting to rant and would rather have somebody to do it that simply talking to the void. He had to do his greater effort to not take more than Johnny was giving him, to not get closer as he spoke; even if he mumble and could barely hear him. Not to hug him when he saw his eye shine with unspilled tears when he talked about making you sad. Not to lay him over his lap and beat his ass black and blue when he confessed some of the things he had said to you. 
He pulled back, he stayed on a safe distance. And the next day he got his reward when Johnny finally spoke to him first.
“Morning, Lt.” 
Like a ghost of his life before the accident.
It was your turn now.
The night before the flight to his new mission. 
It wasn't meant to be a difficult mission, and even though he new there was always some risk, he wouldn't have allowed Johnny to tag along if he knew there was an actual threat. 
He also knew that you couldn't see that, and he understood perfectly why. He just neded to think about how much time you were alone with an unconscious Johnny, everyone would have gone crazy in your situation. 
Stranded, injured, taking care of an unresponsive person, that person being a loved one… he knows he wouldn't have been rescued. But you turned off that part of you brain, focusing on keeping Johnny alive and yourself by correlation.
Fear and despair are human emotions, and you can't have those if you turn yourself in a machine. And Simon knew that well.
He agreed with the psychiatrist up to a certain point, you had developed a link to Johnny during your stay that needed to be broken. Focusing on keeping Johnny alive kept you sane, when losing your mind or asking for help meant your death or Johnny's. 
But that risk was no longer there, therefore you should have let go of it; but the rope is already under your skin to do so and now you panic even at the thought of it. The suppressed feelings too mixed and too tight inside of your mind to make sense. 
That's how you found yourself now, curling on Simon's lap, hyperventilating as you cry your eyes out. The rope keeping you hanging over your feeling finally snapped, and you fell right onto his arms.
And if it weren't for the heartbroken way you were crying, Simon would have been happy to be the one you had looked to for relief. 
Simon didn't try to talk to you, knowing you wouldn't even hear him over the sound of your cries, he simply hugged you and stroked your head; while you cried on his shoulder, his shirt getting wet with your tears, drool and snot. Completely crumbling after finally facingyour long neglected feelings.
The fear of dying in the tunnel, the pain of injury, the anxiety of a possible ambush at any moment, the constant tension that Johnny will suddenly get worse. All out, back into the world. 
It's when you're choking on your own saliva, coughing and breathing tightly together causing you to gag, that Simon moves his hands to your arms, gently pushing you to see you better. 
But his heart shrinks when he notices your hands gripping his shirt tightly as a whimper escapes your lips. Still, and with as much willpower as he can, he pulls your trembling hands away from the clothes, with them quickly grabbing his hand instead. 
You are still hyperventilating, your head is lowered and Simon can only see the tears falling as your whole body trembles. 
"What’s that sound?" Simon suddenly asks, and your too-curious-for-your-own-good nature betrays you by making you fall for his trick. 
Because your cries gradually diminish in volume, to try and hear whatever Simon is talking about. But the short moment when you're just hiccuping, trying to breathe normally to hear better, is all Simon needs. 
He grabs the tissue from the bedside table, bringing it up to your nose to blow your snot. A confused expression comes over your face, would he really blow your nose? 
You take the tissue from his hand and do it yourself, asking him for a couple more before finally feeling your face dry from tears and so on. 
"I'm sorry" You whisper, with Simon quickly quipping to you before you can finish.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. It was about time you got it out, love." He tells you, helping you to lean against him again. 
You snuggle into him, your head resting on his dry shoulder and your hands pressed to your chest, making it easy for Simon to wrap his arms around you. 
He knows you still have a lot more to release inside you, but he also knows it's not the pain you can vent in a single crying session. But the first step has been taken.
And more importantly, the next morning when you say goodbye to the two of them before they leave for their mission, you talk to Johnny again. 
"You be careful, okay? And no more head banging, Johnny." You mutter, moving Johnny's head so his forehead rests on yours. 
"Of course, bonnie. We'll be back before you miss me." Johnny replies, giving you a kiss on the cheek, right next to the nose wetting his lips with the single tear that escapes you.
In addition, once on the plane, Jonny watches him for a while before speaking again. 
"You talked to her, didn't you?"
"Yes, last night."
"Thanks.”
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Once on the battlefield, Johnny's attention is once again focused on Ghost. On the intimidating, terrifying lieutenant who at every turn turns around to make sure Johnny is still behind him, without a scratch.
Johnny is aware of the void in his memory of the last few years of his life. But he remembers perfectly the years of his adolescence when he doubted so much about his sexuality. How his eyes would run after every pretty girl he passed in the halls of high school. And at night, when he can't sleep; he still remembers the awkward erection when the captain of his rugby team tackled him during practice, leaving Johnny pressed against the ground.
It has been many years since Johnny came to terms with the fact that he preferred not to put labels on something he didn't fully understand. 
So when in the middle of a surprise exchange of gunfire Simon grabbed his arm hiding Johnny behind him to make sure he didn't get hit and his eyes were fixed on the small space of exposed skin between the glove and the sleeve, and Johnny watched him for longer than would be considered normal.... He was not really surprised.
Johnny can see what you see in Simon. Especially because of the way he treats him, even if Johnny doesn't know. Simon cannot help himself. 
In his Johnny the one at stake. 
With anyone else, Simon wouldn't hesitate to let his nasty nature called Ghost, which he has cultivated to keep people away, shine through. But not with Johnny. Nor with you. 
At least not when his goal is to find his niche between the two of you. 
So Johnny sees for the first time, what if he were able to remember, he saw between the cracks of Ghost's mask after years. 
And just as it happened to him before the accident.... Johnny can't help but feel the butterflies when Simon looks into his eyes.
"You alright, Johnny?”
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Against all odds, but still not surprising to either of them, the mission ends up lasting much longer than they both thought it would.
This ends up working to Simon's advantage, as it continues to push Johnny towards him. 
Their relationship continues to mutate by leaps and bounds, as the day before they boarded the plane Johnny could barely look him in the eye without hatred in his pupils. 
This is why, when they finally start to mobilize to return to base and the two of them are assigned to return in a single car with no one else; that Johnny deviates from the road and parks on the side of the road. 
"Can I ask you something, Lieutenant?"
And Simon questions for a moment if there really is anything Johnny could ask him that he wouldn't be willing to answer. 
"Go ahead."
"Before the accident... What was the situation?"
"Elaborate."
"Between us... and with her."
And Simon knows perfectly well what Johnny is referring to, the scotsman is neither stupid nor blind.
"What would it affect how things were before the accident?"
"Everything!"
"Give me an example, Johnny."
"Whatever." Johnny backs off, jerking his hand to restart the car. 
Except Simon is quicker and takes the key out of the ignition and out of Johnny's hand.
"Explain yourself, Johnny."
"No, whatever, we're late."
"Until I get there no one leaves, we can be as late as we want to be. Explain yourself."
Johnny puffs, running a hand through his hair, messing it up even more if possible. 
"I feel at a disadvantage, okay?" Johnny admits, glancing at Simon for a second before looking ahead again. "I feel like everyone is aware of what's going on and everything that happened before the accident. And that everyone's talking over my shoulder as if instead of amnesia I was stupid. And I have feelings that don't make sense for me to have in such a short time, and the only thing that makes sense in my mind is that they were already there before the accident!"
The two remain in awkward silence for more minutes than is desirable.
"Do you have feelings for me, Johnny?"
"No!"
One more awkward silence.
"For her?" 
"...I don't know."
"You don't know or you don't want to admit it?"
"I don't know!"
Simon is frustrated with myself, and is aware that Johnny must be equally frustrated. Two grown men too stubborn to admit their feelings.
Simon huffs, pondering his next move for just a few seconds before removing his mask. The move catches Johnny's attention and he turns to look at him, just in time to see Simon grab his face to crash his lips against his. 
It's a peck. Nothing more.
But it's enough to make Johnny look at him like he's just grown horns on his head. Simon can practically see the smoke coming out of Johnny's ears, but he also sees his eyes stare for a millisecond at his lips again. And that's all he needs.
"Do you want to talk about feelings or do you want to show them to me, Mactavish?"
Johnny only needs a second to unbuckle his belt and grab Simon's vest to pull him closer to him. 
Johnny knows this isn't the way, that they should talk, clear out everything, lay the groundwork for the strange triangle they're excluding you from for now by doing it this way. 
But after the time spent together on the mission, every glance, every brush, every word exchanged. Johnny knows this isn't the right way to do it, but he knows it's the easiest. And for now, that's enough for him. 
Johnny moves over the console to reach Simon; it's an awkward position with the gearshift lever digging into his thigh. But when Simon's hands travel to the back of his thighs and he sits him on his lap it all fits together like puzzle pieces. 
It's an aggressive kiss, with both wanting to take the lead; teeth clashing, drool sliding down the corner of their lips and one's breath colliding with the other's. 
It's Simon who gives in, letting Johnny enter his mouth, savoring the taste of the cigarette he smoked just before starting the car. A horrible taste that tastes like glory coming from the blond's mouth. 
Despite the multiple layers of clothing, Johnny can perfectly feel Simon's cock harden under his weight. Johnny lowers his hand to Simon's belt, unbuckling it carelessly; parting the kiss to look down at what he's doing.
That moment Simon takes the opportunity to speak. "You're not going to let me fuck you, are you?"
Johnny laughs softly, shaking his head at the same time. "Didn't you ask me to show you my feelings, blondie? I'm going to show them to you, just as good as I showed her."
"Can't fucking wait." Simon declares pulling Johnny's hair to kiss him again once he manages to unbuckle his belt.
Johnny slips his hand into Simon's boxers, wrapping his hand around his member and pulling it out of the confines of the garment. Simon moans at the not very gentle maneuver, Johnny's calloused hand moving up and down against the dry skin making him groan. 
Johnny notices the lack of lubrication and spits a heavy blob of saliva onto his tip, Simon sighing in relief at the much desired wetness. 
"Now imagine if instead of my drool it was her pussy juices, Simon." Johnny murmurs, licking Simon's neck making Simon groan letting his head fall back against the headrest. 
"That's a fucking dream, Johnny." Is all he manages to reply. 
Johnny laughs, unbuckling his own belt with one hand as he continues to massage Simon's length with the other. When he manages to get his own member out he also positions himself as close as he can to Simon, cock against cock. Needing to use both hands to encircle both members as he moves them up and down, bringing them both fully to life; noticing how they harden between his fingers.
It is impossible for him not to move his hips against his hands, both moaning in unison at the friction between their cocks. The little droplets of cum that are born from their members helping to increase the mess of fluids.
It's only when Johnny decides that enough is enough that they change positions. Simon takes off his pants, limiting himself to removing one boot so he can stick one leg out; and Johnny tells him how he wants him to lie on the back seats. 
The man is too big for the car seats, with his head resting on the hand rest by the door and his knees bent to fit. Johnny kneels on his chest, trying not to drop his weight on it so as not to suffocate Simon. With the hand he has on the base of his member, he moves it so that he slaps Simon on the mouth. 
"Careful, Johnny" Simon warns him, trying to let Johnny know that he is in control for as long as Simon wants. 
Johnny smiles, winking at him. Perfectly aware of the danger but unafraid of the consequences. "We don't have any other lube, Lieutenant. Ye better blow me good."
Simon grunts, parting his lips so Johnny can enter his mouth. Johnny begins to move his hips, slowly so the Brit can get used to the width of his member. Johnny moans as he feels the warmth of his mouth around his member, the muscle of his tongue caressing the underside of it causing a shiver to run up his back.
Johnny looks over his shoulder, dropping his eyes to Simon's member, taking a moment to admire it in all its splendor. It's long, easily over 7 inches, uncut, lying flat on the part of his abdomen exposed by his wrinkled T-shirt, slightly tilted to one side by his own weight and with a healthy amount of mouthwatering veins that make Johnny's mouth water.
But today, Johnny has a different mission. He slips two of his fingers into his own mouth licking them as he makes eye contact with Simon while continuing to move his hips; driving deeper and deeper into his mouth. 
The hand that was at the base of his member moves to Simon's head, grabbing his hair and holding it still. The other, once satisfied with how wet his fingers are, moves it to between Simon's legs, brushing his member with his forearm as he does so and begins to press into Simon's tight entrance with his index finger. 
Johnny notices him tense up for half a second at the sudden pressure before letting his body relax under Johnny's caresses and he pushes in to the first phalanx of his first finger. Moving his hand and hips in tandem.
Simon's jaw soon starts to ache, especially when Johnny begins to thrust forward; Simon's nose brushing against Johnny's pubes.
And yet, Simon moans when Johnny slips a second finger into his ring of muscle. They are both aware that Johnny's fingers are not enough to accommodate Johnny's girth, but in their perverted minds it only adds to the kinkiness. 
Johnny finally pulls away from Simon's mouth, a trickle of drool connecting his lips to Johnny's member still. Mouth empty, Simon is free to moan as Johnny opens and closes his fingers inside Simon.
"I didn't know you were a singer, Lieutenant."
"Johnny... Shut the fuck up..." Is all Simon can reply. 
Johnny pulls his fingers out, making Simon sigh, and moves to stand between Simon's legs, as comfortable as he can inside the cramped vehicle. 
He thinks about it for a second before moving his hands under his officer's knees and moving them towards his head, easily folding him in half; the sergeant's strength taking him by surprise. 
But what really surprises him is feeling the sergeant's wet tongue at his entrance, making him moan pathetically at the contact. It's a couple of mere licks, nothing more, before Johnny breaks away licking his lips; then spits a fat glob of saliva at the entrance.
The sergeant lowers his legs, sitting back up and Simon slightly blushing at the ease with which he has moved him to his surprise. 
"I'll take it slow, okay?" Johnny suddenly says, a touch of gentleness amidst the strange scuffle that lets his true feelings show.
Johnny pushes forward slightly, both of them hissing at the tight feeling. Johnny's hand find their place on Simon's hips, with Simon's hand finding support on his wrists. 
“Fuckin' hell, Johnny…” Simon moans whe Johnny has barely gotten past the puffy tip. 
“You are going to choke my dick off, Simon” he moans, throwing his head back. 
Slowly but steadily Johnny bottoms out inside of Simon, feeling his insides pulse around his length in a vice-like grip. Simon has never felt this full, feeling the weight of Johnny's shaft all the way back on his column. 
Johnny slowly starts to move, painfully slow lo let the other finally adjust to the invasion. The moans and whispers growing in volume as Johnny starts to pick up the pace of his thrust. 
And is not long before Johnny as a steady rhythm, hip slapping against his, Simon's cock slapping slightly against his abdomen with each thrust. Is when Johnny starts to snap his hips harder that Simon needs to move one his hands from Johnny's wrist to the door of the car to avoid getting a concussion with the hits of his head against it. 
Simultaneously, and completely unaware of it, their minds travel to you. How would you fit in between them; would you ride Simon while Johnny rides him? Would you sit on Simon's face while Johnny rides Simon? Would they both fuck you senseless?
Johnny's free hand moves to Simon's shaft, grabbing it hard and tugging, forcing a whine out of Simon. “Shit! Johnny, that's- that's too much! Fuck!” Simon moans loudly, the double stimulation enough to make him throw his head back; hitting the door with the lack of strength left on his body. 
“That's too much for you, Lt?” Johnny asks between grunts and moans. “And how will you handle her riding you while I fuck you?” The mental image making both moan. 
“Once we are back… I'm destroying your ass, Johnny.” Simon manages to say through gritted teeth to avoid a moan from scaping his mouth.
Johnny chuckles at his threat. “Are you asking me on a second date, blondie?” He says, he bends down to kiss Simon again, and right before crashing his lips together he whispers “I can't fucking wait, Si.”
The new angle Johnny hits when bending down has Simon seeing white dots on his vision, and when Johnny tugs at his shaft again, thick ropes of cum spur on his abdomen pooling in his navel. He clenches down around Johnny's lengths, making him moan loudly and he barely manages to pull out before combusting over Simon stomach as well, the seed of both mixing together over his skin. 
The car windows are fogged up as Johnny sits in the seat opposite Simon. Grabbing bandages from the first aid kit in his backpack so Simon can clean himself. Johnny readjusts, putting away his dick and buckling his belt; watching as Simon does the same once he manages to pull his pants back up and buckles his boot.
“About… about how we felt before the accident…” Simon breaks the silent, looking ahead. “We were never together… and I can't talk on behalf of her or you, but for me… I knew I felt things for…” Simon sighs, struggling to choose the right words. “I knew I used to feel things for the two of you… I still do.”
Johnny doesn't say anything, being able to tell that Simon still has more to say but needs a moment to regroup his feelings. 
"Especially with you. The tunnel accident... It wasn't your first brush with death, Johnny. A couple of years ago, on a mission in Mexico, well, in Las Almas.... Things happened, and you and I got separated, we got... Uncommunicated... From each other and from everyone..." Simon narrates, recounting a mission that doesn't tug at Johnny's memory strings in the least. "On that mission I thought... I thought I'd lost you, Johnny. And it was in that moment that I thought I'd lost you that I realized they weren't just friends' feelings..."
Simon laughs dryly, rubbing his face with his hand before continuing. "I almost declared myself back then.... And several times after that but.... But then the tunnel thing happened and..."
The sentence is half-spoken, but neither Simon needs to say more nor Johnny needs to hear it. 
"And... And you think I loved you back, Simon?"
"I'd like to think you did, Johnny.”
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Taglist: @waiting-so-long @whos-fran @thevoidwriting @sklt987659 @kayden666 @dumb12bvtch1212 @thatonepupkai @darkangel4121 @risingofjupiter @spadekip @herefor-tojis-tits @soupinasock @marymustdie @arbesa-mind @cmbghost @multifandomheathenannie @tooloudarts @panikk-attackkk @reap3erslov3 @mothsdrabbles @ghosts-hoe @cassiecasluciluce @sleepdeprivedkat @lunamoonbby @hatterripper31 @contractedcriteria @cod-z @jaguarthecat  @savagemickey03 @fraserbraw @rosiehale23 @keiva1000 @sw33tsnow @viisgrave @theloneshadowbat @loveandplanet @sobbingnshtting @dprmoon @simpsallthetime1997 @ladyxtiger @soapsmohawk-16 @nina6708 @katreintjie @sacvh @mothymunson @archenillo @thesinsoflust @sodavrr @yuki2129 @mikaronn
201 notes · View notes
xxkissesforchanniexx · 12 hours
Note
Best friend Chan who is in love with reader but has a girlfriend?
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𝐒𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?
Pairing: bestfriend!Chan x reader college au Genre: Angst (i cant write that for shit.), fluff, smut Word Count: 4.5k (lord help me) Warnings: Chan's gf is controlling, gf is a pick me, mentions of cheating (not by chan), mentions of college (younger half of members + chan gf + reader), fade to black sexual moment kinda >.>, nosey ass friends >.>, mentions of ateez members, not proofread, fighting >.> DO NOT DO IT, lowkey (highkey) cringe... UHH Idk what else...
A/N: I have exams soon so >.> i won't be taking requests until like May 😭 uhh I might get out the requests I have but until May I won't be accepting any very sorry >.>
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You pursed your lips as your best friend's girlfriend, Chaewol, rubbed herself all over your friend, Chan's, arm.
"Chrissy." She said sweetly. "Can we go now?"
Your other friend, Seungmin stared at her, not even trying to hide the look of disgust on his face.
Minho just blinked slowly.
"Babe, we just got here." Chan sighed.
"I know but the waitress keeps giving me dirty looks." She pouted.
Hyunjin, a man who'd grown to be as close as a brother to you, made a face and leaned in close to you whispering, "Maybe if she hadn't been all over Chan as if the waitress wanted to steal him she wouldn't get dirty looks."
You gave your friend a knowing face.
"It's fine Chan." Seungmin smiled, stirring his drink with his straw, "Just go."
Chan looked at you with an apologetic look.
You shrugged. "We'll just try again some other time."
He smiled. "Alright. See you guys." He stood with Chaewol, who gave you the nastiest look as Chan led her out.
"The waitress wasn't even looking." Seungmin pinched the bridge of his nose.
"She's obviously jealous." Hyunjin huffed. "I would be too if my boyfrie-"
Seungmin elbowed him.
You looked between the two confused. "What?"
"Nothing." They both said.
Minho grabbed. a bunch of tissues from the dispenser in the middle of the table and tried forcing Hyunjin to eat them.
You burst into a fit of laughter as a waiter came over with water to help the spluttering Hyunjin.
Your phone buzzed with a notification from Instagram, you opened it and sucked in a breath at the post. It was of Chan and Chaewol at a bubble tea shop, she was kissing his cheek.
Hyunjin looked at your phone and sighed. "It's fine."
You nodded, "Yeah. Say any of you up for barbecue?"
Seungmin smiled, "Let's go."
It was late now, well past midnight, Chaewol was asleep, and Chan lie awake. He sucked in a breath, rolling onto his side and grabbing his phone, he opened Instagram and squeezed his phone. The picture Chaewol had taken earlier had blown up, "he's so sweet" and "you're so lucky" flooded the comments. He kept scrolling and stopped at a post where you were in a shopping cart and Changbin was pushing you, while Jisung was in a separate cart and Hyunjin struggled to push him. He laughed lightly and paused at a post from 30 minutes ago, that would've been 1am, you were at a table with the other guys. Jeongin was out cold on the table and the rest of them looked drunk stupid except for Minho, probably the driver..
Chan felt his heart clench. When was the last time he'd gone out like that with the rest of you.
He tapped your profile and scrolled through your recent posts, baking with Felix, cooking with Minho, gym day with Han and Changbin, movie night with a friend, a guy, he didn't know..
He stared at the image for a moment before swiping to the next, same guy, laying on his back between your legs, head rested on you stomach, your fingers in his hair, all that was visible, his nose and eyes.
Chan whispered softly, "Who the fuck is that."
Chaewol rolled over, murmuring, "What is it?"
"Nothing." Chan said, "Go back to sleep."
Chan looked through the comments,
Hongjoongisworld 1w Wow, so that's where my snacks went.
HWWAAA 1w Lucky.
former stronk man 1w ;-; why wasn't I invited.
and you tagged Sannie..?
Chan tapped the tag and exhaled slowly at all the pictures of a muscular man with a square jaw and pretty face. So this was Sannie. This was the man doing things he should be, Choi San, who goes to an entirely different school from you.
Chan jumped as suddenly his phone was gone. "Chae-"
"He's hot.." She scrolled through San's profile and hummed. Then her face fell.
Chan leaned over looking at his phone, there you were, phone covering half your face as you took the picture, San behind you, his arm wrapped a little too tight around your waist. Chan took his phone from Chaewol and put it down.
"Go to sleep." He huffed, rolling to face away from her.
Chaewol stared at Chan in the darkness for a long moment before pursing her lips. He's not mad that I called that other guy hot. He's made that Y/N is close to him... And she rolled to face away from Chan, biting her pink nails. What could she do to you?
You were drunk, buzzed, completely inebriated. To the extent Minho had to call someone to pry you off the pole outside of the bar. He'd used your phone and called someone you had labeled as Mr Sannie
Mr Sannie turned out to be someone named Choi San, he was a close friend of yours apparently, and you hugged him poking his face and neck as he half carried, half dragged you to his car.
Minho stared at San for a long time. What is Chan even going to say..
In light of your recent Instagram posts and a long call with Minho, Chan decided to leave Chaewol at home and go hang out with you for the first time in a long while. It was fun, running around being stupid with you. You and Chan were eating ice cream in the park when he asked suddenly.
"Who's San?"
You blinked a bit surprised. "He's a friend of mine."
Chan looked at you before looking back at his ice cream. "Just a friend?"
"Of course." You laughed, it trailed off as you realized he was serious. "Chan, San is just my friend."
Chan looked at you and smiled, "Good."
You didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Good why?
Your phone buzzed and you looked at it, there was a message from Yongbok to the group chat your friend group had.
lixie 3:47pm We're having a party off campus, you senior citizens tryna join in?
He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm I will if Chan will.
OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Why are we senior citizens...
Chubby Cheeks 3:48pm Because you've already graduated.
Hangry 3:48pm But we're not senior.
OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Minho and Chan are.
He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm You haven't eaten tissues in a while have you Hyunjinnie.
Me 3:49pm You're cooked. 💀
Loaf 3:49pm I'll go. Hyunjin hide.
Channie 3:49pm LOLLL
STAAA 3:49pm OMG GRANDPA LEARNED LINGO
lixie 3:50pm 😧 never thought i'd live to see it.
You giggled and looked at Chan who rolled his eyes.
Your phone buzzed again and Chan peeked over your shoulder, tensing at the sight of Sanniepoo..
Mr Sannie 3:50pm There's a party. Go with me?
Chan looked at you, you hadn't clicked the notification, hesitating.
"Are you going to go?" You asked him.
He bit his lip, "I have to ask Chaewol."
You looked down at your phone and tapped Mr Sannie's chat, typing something. "It's fine." You looked at your phone again and stood, "I have to go meet up with a friend."
Chan opened his mouth to say something, that friend was San, this guy he didn't know, who his own girlfriend thought was hot. You were going to meet up with this guy...
"Bye, Channie." You said before he could get any words out.
And you were gone.
You were sitting in class biting your pen and trying to study in art history before the teacher arrived, when you heard the steps then the whispers. You didn't bother looking up until a pink purse was thrown on your textbook.
You knew that purse, you'd helped Chan pick out that purse for...
"You really think you're funny." Chaewol said. Her group of girls dressed as if this were still high school looked at you with disgusted looks.
You looked up at her. "Am I laughing?"
The chatter in the class died.
"Leave my boyfriend alone." She said.
You raised a brow. "You think I'm messing with Chan?"
"Chris. Doesn't want you."
You stood, "What makes you think I want Chan?"
"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"
The class gasped.
"I've done a lot of stupid shit, but trying to get a guy's attention is not on that list yet." You said glaring at her.
"You're such a liar!" One of her friends said. "We've seen the pics of you with the guys from KQ Uni."
Chaewol got in your face. "Listen here, Y/N, if you don't leave Chan alone, it's going to be and you."
You sucked in a breath, "Back up."
"If I don't?" She asked.
"How old are you, Chaewol?" You asked irritated.
Chaewol smirked and turned, letting her hair extensions hit you as she grabbed her purse.
You pursed your lips.
You hadn't expected to be greeted by San's car outside of school as you left.
He gave you the corniest smirk as you got in, "I have a surprise for you."
You tilted your head, "What is it?"
He held a out a small box covered in blue velvet and you took it, opening the box you smiled at the sight of a plain black ring band. engraved in silver on the inside was "Dumass #1"
You burst out laughing and put the ring on as San held up his right hand, showing his matching band. You two took several pictures before San started driving.
"Hungry?" he asked.
"You know me so well," you smiled.
You took several more stupid pictures and a few pictures of your food, you were going to post the images but then you remembered what Chaewol had said.
"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"
You shook your head and pressed post.
"We should go meet the guys, they're out and about today." San hummed.
You nodded, "Okay."
You were laying in bed scrolling when Chan called you, you stared at your phone for a moment before answering. "Helloooo?"
"Uh.."
You heard the shakiness in his voice as he spoke.
"Can you come over? I- Chaewol and I aren't talking." He said sniffing.
"Chan what happened?" You sat up in bed, it wasn't the first time something like this happened...
You were at his house in 20 minutes, staring at your friend as he sniffled and allowed you before hugging you. You patted his back and made him sit as he cried about Chaewol cheating on him... again.
"Am I doing something wrong?" He looked up at you with tears in his eyes.
"Of course not Channie." You smoothed his hair and smiled at him gently. "She's the problem."
He muttered something about not being good at anything and lied down on the couch, resting his head on your lap.
You spent most of the night comforting Chan and relaxed when you got him to go to sleep. You stared at your friend's sleeping face, so content and calm as if in his dreams he'd forget about everything. You smiled slightly and leaned back against the couch falling asleep yourself, sure this would be the last time, positive...
When you woke up Chan wasn't laying on your lap and you assumed he'd gotten up to go do something but as you were about to stand you heard the voices by the door...
"Chris, you know it didn't mean anything. I love you babe." Chaewol sobbed.
"Please don't..." You heard Chan sigh.
"Chan!" She sobbed louder, and you heard her fall to the floor, "Babe it won't happen again! I swear! I love you, please!"
He wouldn't... right?
"Chaewol stand up."
"Not until you forgive me." She sniffed.
You exhaled slowly as Chan told her, "Come back later."
"Chrissy please-"
"I'm serious."
"Fine."
You heard the door close then Chan was back in the living room staring at you.
"Y/N-"
"It's fine. Just enjoy yourself." You pursed your lips and rolled your eyes, before leaving him standing there.
Chan's mouth was half open he was going to say something, he willed the words out. But a small, "Thanks for coming over." Left his lips instead and was met with the door slamming.
Chan kissed Chaewol and muttered, "You did so good for me."
Chaewol lay there on the bed trying to catch her breath, after cleaning up, Chan got into bed and Chaewol was already out cold. He rubbed her head gently, then he got a text from Changbin.
Baby Changbin 7:59pm Did you see what Y/N posted?
Chan opened instagram, there was a bunch of posts with you and a bunch of guys he didn't know, there was more with that Choi San... and he scrolled to this afternoon, food, you two being stupid, then.. a picture of your hand and someone else's, someone Chan could assume was San, wearing matching rings.
Chan bit his lip and looked at his jewelry drawer. He'd stopped wearing the necklace that matched yours because Chaewol thought it was "intrusive" and "a physical show of emotional cheating".
That left one thing...
"Baby." Chan shook Chaewol gently.
"Huh?" She groaned.
"There's a party tomorrow," He muttered.
"I know." She opened her eyes a little.
"Can we go?"
"Yeah whatever, let me sleep..."
Chan lie back and stared at the pictures of you and San.
He opened his chat with Changbin.
Me 8:02pm He goes to KQ Uni?
Baby Changbin 8:02pm They all do
Me 8:03pm We're going to that party.
The day of the party Chan pulled up in front of the old college he once attended, where you and Chaewol currently went. He had come on Chaewol's request, so he could take her to buy a new outfit for the party.
He saw you and Jisung and was about to get out of his car to go talk to you but another car pulled up. Chan froze as he got out of the driver's seat and hugged you then began counting on his fingers while making an exaggerated face. Jisung cackled. You rolled your eyes and pushed San's head, he faked a hurt expression and opened the front passenger side door for you.
Chan squeezed the wheel and this time got out of the his car, he would've approached but the sound of a squeal made him look away from you, Chaewol and her friends came over and she threw herself on him.
She looked in your direction, then made a face, "That's the guy from KQ Uni isn't it?"
Chan didn't answer, eyes glued on the way you and San went back and forth before you finally got into the car and Jisung got in the back seat.
Chaewol shook him slightly. "Chris?"
Chan's eyes met San's as he closed the door. All the man did was smile before getting into his car and driving away taking you with him.
Chaewol squeezed Chan's arm. "Is something wrong?"
"Not at all." Chan lied, "Let's go, hm? Gotta make you look even more beautiful."
Chan pulled up to the party with Chaewol and her friends. He got out and opened the door for Chaewol, who quickly scampered to join her other friends. Chan shook his head and started looking around for his friends, then he saw Minho, there was a group of guys with him, Chan could only recognize San.
He approached and San smiled at him, Minho patted Chan on the shoulder and introduced him to the rest of the men. "This is my good friend Chan. Channie, this is San, Seonghwa and Yunho."
Chan nodded and smiled, "Have you seen Y/n?"
"Oh, she ran off with Seungmin somewhere." Minho said. "Probably to get drinks."
"Oh, okay."
San raised a brow at Chan, "You know Y/N?"
"She's my friend from high school." Chan said.
Seonghwa looked between the two sensing the tension and laughed nervously, "I'm going to go.. get us some drinks? Yunho come with me." Seonghwa grabbed Yunho and dragged him away.
MInho stared at the two in shock, "Hey, hey, hey. It's a party, don't look so aggressive.."
San nodded, "Of course."
A moment later, you and Seungmin came bouncing back giggling like little children. Seungmin grabbed Minho, "Hyunjin wants to dance with you." And he dragged him away.
Chan smiled at you. You gave him a hug and poked his nose, "Didn't think you'd make it."
"I'm here." Chan shrugged.
San's mouth fell open dramatically and he made a face at you. "Am I invisible???"
You gave him a side eye. "I saw you earlier."
San clutched his chest, "So cruel..." he faked tears then the two of you started laughing.
Chan felt a tug on his arm, he looked at Chaewol.
"Oh," She looked at you and San.
San looked past you at Chaewol and you turned, pursing your lips ina. tight smile.
"Hi," Chaewol smiled at you and then looked at San, "I'm Chaewol."
"San," He nodded before looking right at Chan as if asking with his eyes So you have a girlfriend... San smiled at you and grabbed you, "Y/N we should dance."
Chan was about to say something but Chaewol pulled him away, "Babe we should go get some drinks."
Chan wanted to pull away he wanted to say no but then.
"Christopher."
He looked at Chaewol and smiled, "Ok."
As the party neared its end, Chan didn't know where Chaewol was, but he was too drunk to wonder. Minho had found him half passed out on the couch and helped him up. Minho helped Chan walk and eventually found you, talking to San's friend Seonghwa.
"He's too buzzed yo drive and Chaewol is no where to be seen." Minho said before carefully passing Chan's weight to you.
You stumbled slightly and somehow managed to support him. Seonghwa helped you before you fell over, you carried Chan to Seonghwa's car and tossed him in the back seat.
Seonghwa drove you to Chan's house and parked before asking, "Are you okay to carry him in alone?"
"Of course, I've got him." You laughed, and woke up a half asleep Chan in the backseat before helping him walk to his front door and convincing him after a bit of bickering to open the door. he trudged into the house and flopped face first onto the couch.
You laughed and he looked at you.
"Are you going?" he asked quietly.
You stopped laughing and nodded.
"Why...?"
"Because I have to go home, Chaewol wouldn't like seeing me here." You said.
Chan sat up and looked at you, "Please don't go."
You stared at him, "Chan-"
Before you could protest he hugged your waist and buried his face in your belly. "Please.
You stood between staring down into his eyes as he looked up at you. "I can't... Chaewol might get angry."
Chan's grip on your relaxed for a brief second. Then it tightened again and he whispered, "I don't care... Please... Stay. I need you to stay."
"You're drunk." You shook your head and started pry yourself away from Chan but he held you tighter.
"Would you be mad at me if I told you I liked you?" He muttered.
"No." You said quietly. "I'd ask you why."
"And if I said I love you?"
You stared at Chan. "You're not thinking straight." You started to pull away but he squeezed you for a moment.
"I don't need to think." He stood up and smiled gently at you, "It feels better if I'm with you." He hugged you completely against him and rested his head on your shoulder.
"Chan I-"
"Don't push me away right now... I might cry if you do." He breathed.
You held him as his body relaxed against yours. And the door opened.
You weren't sure what happened between the door opening and where you were now. What you did know was that you were going to beat the crap out of the person pulling your hair.
Chaewol pulled your hair and screamed at you as her friend tried pulling her back. It was a mess of punches and scratches and hair-pulling. "Boyfriend stealing, home-wrecking BITCH!" Chaewol screamed as she pulled your hair.
"You're the one who can't keep your legs closed!" You shouted, swinging at her.
"Don't come back here! Keep your hands off Chris!" She shouted as Chan pulled you off her and she kicked at you still gripping your hair.
You grasped on her hair as well and pulled out her hair extensions. "You fucked your relationship over yourself! You cheater! You ugly, ungrateful- OOOH!" You threw her extensions in her face as Chan picked you up around the waist and carried you out the door.
"Christopher! Get back here! Bring her back right now!" Chaewol shouted as her friend tried calming her down.
You were trying to get away from Chan as he dumped you on the ground and held you so you wouldn't run back to keep fighting.
"Chan are you even living?!" You shouted. "Howw do you let her treat you like that! It's your house, your money, your LIFE!" You pulled away from him and started walking away.
He grabbed your hand and pulled you back hugging you tightly. "Please." he muttered. "I love you."
You stared blankly for a moment. "Huh?"
"I need you." He pulled back and looked at you.
"You're probably just in shock and drunk."
He shook his head slowly, "I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting and screaming and everything.." He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. "Please."
And you didn't stop him as he kissed you.
Chaewol was faking tears the following monday in class and everyone was running to her to console her. Except you.
"Chaewol don't cry." Someone said rubbing her shoulder. "What happened?"
"I went home after the p-party. And Ch-Chan and Y/N were all over each other," She sobbed.
The whole class shot you dirty looks, you kept about your business staring at your text book.
"A-And then..." She snuffed. "We had a fight and Chan carried her out." She sobbed dramatically.
You made no move of any kind when some girls came up to you asking if it was true.
"IT GETS WORSE!" Chaewol shrieked. "THAT HOMEWRECKER KISSED HIM OUTSIDE TOO!"
You closed your textbook and got up from your seat, going to leave. As you stepped out of the building Chaewol's friends flocked behind you.
What you hadn't anticipated to see outside was Chan, he leaned against his car looking at his phone. Looking up at the sight of you and the other girls.
"Where's Chaewol?" he asked.
"She's inside crying over your sorry ass." One of her friends spat.
Chan opened his car and pulled out three pink suitcases and set it on the side walk. "Tell her to come get her stuff. If I missed anything she can come get it herself."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Chaewol's voice came from the front entrance and you turned to see her running out and down the steps where she grabbed Chan. "Chris! Chrissy! Baby! Honey!"
Chan pulled his hand away from hers.
"WHY?!" She screamed, other students were looking through class windows or from where they were walking.
"I'm tired. I'm so tired." Chan said simply and grabbed your hand.
You gasped as he put you in the car. "Chan-" You started as Chaewol tried to open your door.
"Let them try." He said locking the doors and looking at you. "I want to talk to you."
When you were a sophmore in high school and Chan was a senior, you became fast friends. Not that Chan wanted to be your friend, really, he had been hoping to get your number and possible convince you to date him. But he'd failed miserably as Minho told him countless times before.
You'd have been lying if you had said you weren't into him, he was sweet and funny and gorgeous. But when he went to JYPU, he met a girl from another school, she was sweet at first, but when they started dating things didn't work out well. At least for Chan. The first time he'd called you crying saying that he and Chaewol had fought you thought it was normal. But the more it happened, the less normal it seemed to you...
And then he didn't speak to you for months on end... because Chaewol said he couldn't.... Becuase Chaewol didn't trust you.
And when she'd cheated and you suggested breaking up, it wasn't even a day before he'd forgiven her. And you couldn't help but wonder why. Why you were in this car staring at your hands? Why you let him drag you out? Why you let him kiss you?
Chan whispered quietly. "I talked to San."
You looked at him.
"I'm sorry."
"It's not you fau-"
"It is." He rested his head on the steering wheel. "I let Chaewol take over my life, and every time she lied and betrayed and and promised it wouldn't happen again it did... and I let it happen." he sat up and turned to you. "I'm sorry."
You sucked in my breath. "You shouldn't apologize. You couldn't have known better.."
"But I did know better." He looked at you. "I've known better- No, I knew you were better. I just.. I was scared you didn't want me back. Let me tell you when I'm sober. While you'll listen.."
"Channie." You stared at him.
He leaned in. "Can I.." he said quietly.
You nodded slowly and Chan leaned into you, his soft breath against your lips before he kissed you gently. He pulled away and whispered. "I love you."
You looked into his eyes. "I love you too..."
Your phone buzzed in your bag for god knows what time. Chan's lips were on your neck, you whined as he sucked a dark mark to the skin.
You moaned as he rutted against you. Rubbing his tented crotch against your clothed pussy. He pressed his thumb to your lip, "Suck." He muttered.
You opened your mouth and sucked on his thumb obediently. He groaned and pulled your shirt over your head. Chan kissed down your chest and removed your bra before moving lower and pulling off your pants. He kissed your thighs and smiled at the wet spot on your pantie. "This for me?"
He pulled your pantie off and licked a big strip of your pussy and moaned into you. You grabbed his hair.
"This is mine. You hear?" He looked up at you, coffee colored eyes dark and pupils blown wide. "This pussy is mine."
You whimpered and nodded.
"Good girl." He whispered before shoving his tongue into you.
You squealed.
"And the rest was..." You smiled to yourself blushing deeply.
"So then what?" Seonghwa asked as he sipped his coffee.
"You horny little-." San slapped him.
You rolled your eyes and smiled as your phone buzzed with a message from Chan.
Channie🥰 2:14pm I wanna take you out, text me when you get home.
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hitomisuzuya · 14 hours
Note
YAY UR OPENNN AKSKSKWKWKWKEJW🌸 I MISSED U SM!! here's some flowers for u: 💐🌹🌸🏵🌸🌹🌹🌼
can i request for smut... uhm.. LIKE FRUSTRATED HUSBAND SCARA- AND AND READER JUST CAME HOME AT THE SAME TIME, and scara didn't know that reader went out SO IT FRUSTRATED HIM MORE- AND- AND HE BENDS U OVER THE BALCONY OMDMWJEEHHWHWHEHSH- and an ending where scara and reader fix their argument- if that's okay with u
currently playing genshin rn, farming for father arlecchino🎀
Scaramouche x fem!reader. Smut. Rough sex. Creampie. Slight Yandere Scaramouche.
Thank you for the flowers 🥺 Happy farming and good luck with your pulls. I'm skipping her sadly, but Scara's cons call❤️
If it wasn't one thing, it was another. If it wasn't someone messing up, someone was reporting in late. Scaramouche swore he could've squeezed a stress ball to mush in his hands from frustration. And to top it all off, he had to be away from you.
And he fucking hated that.
Thinking about how your lips lingered against his when he pulled away from his departing kiss this morning led to him thinking how much he wished he could be impaling you on his cock instead of dealing with this shit.
Scaramouche instantly knew you weren't home the moment he walked in the door. Which only frustrated him more. He'd told you to stay home like a good girl. And it didn't help that he was incredibly set in his ways. If he couldn't go with you himself then he liked to send an escort, or guard of sorts (as incompetent as his squad was).
You came through the door as he walked out onto the balcony to look around. "Scara, you are home," You said, smiling at him as you set a few bags down on the counter. "I missed you," You trotted up to him, and started to tilt your head up to kiss him.
He put a finger on your lips to stop you. "You went out?" He asked, glancing at the bags on the counter. The discontent was evident in his eyes. "You didn't tell me."
"Yeah, I just needed a few groceries. And we needed cat food," You narrowed your eyes stubbornly before you said what led to you being bent over the balcony once his hands finished furiously pawing your clothes off while he devoured your mouth in a harsh kiss: "I'm perfectly capable of going down the street on my own."
That wasn't the point. He knew you were strong, but that's exactly why you needed him to protect you.
Scaramouche's arm was wrapped around you, holding you against him as his fingers danced over your throbbing clit. You mewled feeling him pinch and roll your nipple, grinding down needily against his fingers.
"You should've told me," He growled, delivering another pinch to your nipple that sent a sharp jolt right to your swollen clit. Your breath hitched in your throat as his hand suddenly came down across your ass, "If I couldn't have gone with you, I would've sent a guard."
"Scara, I-I--" The pads of his fingers rubbed firmer circles on your clit as you cried out, making your words die in your throat as your pussy started to clench around nothing. He continued to assault your clit, soaking his fingers in your juices, watching the way he you grinded against them.
Your head was fuzzy when Scaramouche took his hand off your clit to take out his cock. You jumped feeling the head smack wet against your clit. "Tell me who you belong to," He hissed, swallowing back a groan as he rubbed the head of his aching cock on your clit, "Say it," He smacked your ass again, soaking up your mewl of pleasure.
Grabbing a hand full of your hair, he pulled your head back. "Who do you belong to?!" He reiterated, smearing his precum on your clit before pushing his cock inside of you.
His cock pulsed as it stretched you apart, your pussy swallowing it as he bottomed out. He let out a shaky moan, pulling out half way so he could bury his cock deeper inside of you. His hips angrily pounded into yours, each thrust made your moans rose in octave as his cock kissed into your sweet spot.
"Yours! I'm yours, Scaramouche!" You cried out, your legs shaking as you pushed back against him, struggling to keep up with his pace. Your whole body trembled nearly limp with bliss as he pounded his cock inside of you.
Your words sounded so sweet in Scaramouche's ears. He kept an arm tightly braced around you, holding you against him. He put a hand on your neck, holding your head and sinking his teeth into your neck. He pulled a fold of skin into his mouth, sucking and grinding his teeth as he moaned muffled into your neck.
"Fuck, you are so tight, kitten," His groaned, his mouth sucking wetly on your neck. He prodded his tongue against the inflamed skin. He was fucking you possessively, getting lost in the pleasure of your walls squeezing around his cock while you moaned and whimpered for him.
You let out a broken sob of pleasure, your body shaking as your orgasm hit you. The only thing you could focus on was him and how good his cock felt dragging along your sensitive walls.
Scaramouche continued to bully his cock inside of you, intent on fucking you dumber through your orgasm. You felt every pulse of his cock as it ribboned cum inside of you, his body shuddering with pleasure as his thrusts turned sloppy.
His cheek nuzzled against your neck as he pulled out of you. "Want me to run you a bath?" He asked softly in your ear.
"Mhm," You murmured tiredly. "And feed the cats to," He chuckled as he turned you around, supporting you as you leaned against him.
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erwinsvow · 2 days
Note
rare punishing r for going on the date with jj anyways
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"you need to learn how to fuckin' listen, when- when you're told something-"
"rafe," you breathe back, exasperated at the exhausted dialogue. you two have had this conversation so many times. you love your best friend, maybe more than a friend should, but you're tired of being lectured by someone who regularly makes worse decisions than you going on a date with a pogue boy.
"no, m'serious." rafe moves over, getting closer to you, closing in the space in your bedroom. you don't know how he even knew you were home, since you hadn't talked to him since the club yesterday, before your date with jj.
the date had been fine. jj was nice, funny. you two got along well enough. if your friends weren't breathing down your neck about how much they don't like him, you think maybe you'd be more excited, more engaged, replying to his text immediately to plan the next day instead of letting him sit on delivered while rafe sits on your bed next to you.
"are y'listening to me? huh?" you blink up at him, snapped out of your daze. no, you're positive now, if rafe was supportive (then topper and kelce would be too, of course) then you'd feel better about the whole thing.
the truth was that if rafe didn't approve of the boy you wanted to date, you didn't feel like dating him. you wanted someone who would fit right in with your best friends, make himself comfortable in your group and get along. the sad reality was that no one like that existed, and rafe hadn't approved of a single one of your dates since you had first met him.
"sorry. what?"
"i said, you always do this shit."
"rafe, i don't feel like getting reprimanded like some kid right now-"
"no, that's just it. you are a fuckin' kid. you never listen to me, you fuckin' act out by going on dates with pogues-" he spits the word like there's nothing worse in the world you could do, maybe besides ignoring what he tells you to do.
"why should i listen to you?" you snap back, suddenly sick of the double standard. you'd never so much as questioned him when he had a new girl on his arm every week.
"why should you listen to me?" rafe repeats slowly, back at you. "i dunno, maybe because i know best for you. maybe because m'trying to take fuckin' care of you, watch out for you."
you groan, but rafe interrupts you.
"are you seein' him again?" you stare up at him. "answer me."
"no," you admit finally, bringing your knees to your chest and hugging them. "m'not."
"good." you don't look up, but rafe licks his lips. he sits back down next to you, swinging an arm around you. "m'right here. what else do you need, kid? hm?"
you roll your eyes.
"a best friend that doesn't act like my dad would be nice."
"yeah, well, tough shit. do not see him again. this is nice compared to what'll happen."
"rafe!" you protest, met to deaf ears.
"you think m'joking? try me. if i see you texting that pogue again i'll snap your phone in half." you sigh, but he still presses a wet kiss to your temple. "now c'mon. it's tee time."
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luvrxbunny · 3 days
Text
fame
pairing: ex-bf!Eddie Munson x f!reader
summary: Eddie makes a grave mistake.
warnings: 18+ MDNI, angst, insecurity, 'do i wanna know' (lmk if i forgot anything)
wc: 3.6k
a/n: a few things! Id suggest listening to the song before and/or after you read the fic! I wouldn’t suggest during because obviously it wont be on tempo. this can either be modern!Eddie or we can just pretend that “Do I Wanna Know” came out back in 1980. also idk anything abt instruments so shut up if i messed up anywhere— this is one of the worst ones ive written im sorry i just wanted to post
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You and Eddie were happy. You guys got to see each other all the time since you became the lead singer of Corroded Coffin. The band supported you two going public endlessly due to the amazing on-stage chemistry you both brought to the shows. The more touchy, and lovey you guys were, the more people would come to the next show. But with this new, larger crowd came a new wave of women wanting to sleep with the hot lead guitarist, Eddie. 
You had no problem with it before. You know he wasn’t very popular in high school and it took you months to convince him that you honestly found him attractive, that you weren’t playing some practical joke, or just trying to bait him into embarrassing himself. So you were pretty happy to see all the attention he was getting, the attention he deserved. You could see his confidence rising, he would smile at the crowd more, play more impressive riffs and you’d get to watch his chest puff up in pride as the crowd uproars for him. 
But as he got more attention from the crowd, his attention was on you much less.
After shows, instead of hanging back with the rest of the band and relaxing backstage, he’d be out in front “entertaining the crowd” as he lovingly put it. It bothered you a bit because this is where you and Eddie got most of your quality time from but you would never take his little fanbase away from him so of course you never said anything. But there was this one week, gig after gig after gig. 
You got no love from Eddie on stage and assumed it was because he was too tired to put on such a show. He wasn't too tired for his guitar riffs, but you let it slide. It’s Eddie he’ll make it up to you backstage, or later than that if necessary. 
Then came time to head backstage, and Eddie didn't follow. You decided to let that slide too. He needs this interaction with his fans! He needs and craves that connection to people who are similar to him, maybe he’ll make some more friends around his age! You’d never want to do anything to stunt that. 
But three hours later, you Jeff, Gareth, and Doug aren’t in a forgiving mood anymore. You’d all joked about how once Eddie got a taste of fame he’d just leave you all behind but it’s starting to feel like less of a joke and more of a reality. 
You guys drink and complain, roll up, smoke, complain, and down a few more drinks before you all decide to take a stand. It’s a half-joke, that you’re all going to head out to the front and demand that Eddie come backstage to spend time with his band, with his girlfriend at least. The boys talk about inviting some girls backstage with them to make a party out of the whole ordeal but all those thoughts are gone and replaced with sober, solemn ones at the sight of what's happening at the front of the bar. 
Eddie’s sitting on a barstool, leaning back against the bar like he’s some god, he has his arms spread wide, resting on the bar and surrounded by women. Most of them are taking unpermitted selfies with him— not that he minds, but three women are draping themselves over him. One is at his side, sitting in a seat and resting her head on his bicep as she rambles to him and he’s listening.. intently. There’s another who’s on his other side, stroking and running her fingers through his hair, complimenting his curls, the ones you taught him to take care of. The third woman is standing between his spread legs, leaning over so that her cleavage is perfectly in his face under the guise of looking at and complimenting his necklaces. 
The smile on his face is one you’ve been missing, one you’ve been seeing less and less due to the stress of booking gigs but there it is… beaming for another girl.
Your heart stops when Eddie finally notices you guys standing on the other side of the room. You feel as though it’s about to jump out of your body and crash through the ground. Eddie pulls his arms in and pushes the girl between his legs away from him with a wide smile. “Oh. Hey, baby!” 
He’s getting up, explaining himself, and walking towards you all at once but you can’t even process what you’ve seen yet, let alone hear his bullshit explanation so you walk away. 
You turn and head backstage, already planning on packing your things and leaving. You’ll have to call an Uber because there is absolutely no way you’ll ride in the same van as him. You’re shoving your weed and rolling tray into your backpack when your head clears enough for you to listen to your surroundings again. 
You can hear Gareth and Doug scolding the girls, making them leave. You can also hear quick, sharp footsteps heading your way. Your breathing jumps and tears spring to your eyes, ones you quickly squeeze out and wipe away before Eddie comes through the door. 
You don’t look up at him, you just keep collecting your things and internally make a note to yourself not to leave your things scattered across an entire room. 
“Babe? Wait. Wait, wait you have to listen to me first.” You hold back a laugh and settle for a scoff at his statement. 
“I don't have to do anything, Ed.” His heart stops. You’ve only called him Ed once before; it was the biggest and only fight the two of you have ever had. His hands start trembling at their sides and his heart is beating roughly, rushing blood in his ears. He’s stunned to silence, watching you gather your things in a rush. 
You look around for your phone charger and spot it by the doorway, on a chair next to where Eddie is standing. He notices your gaze and quickly grabs the charger, holding it to his chest. “Listen.”
Your eyes slowly raise to meet his. He looks scared and desperate. You give him a chance. 
You put your bag down and lean against the back of the couch, staring at him and waiting for what you’re supposed to be listening to but he seems stumped. 
He didn’t have a plan or know what to say, he just needed you to stop. He tries to piece together a speech but his train of thought is disrupted by a disappointed sigh from you. “Look, Ed—”
He finally finds words. “Please don’t call me that.” His voice is strained, and you almost feel bad. 
“Why? It’s the title you deserve right now. You’re not my Eddie so I’m not going to address you like you are.” You start walking towards him, tears bubbling in your eyes despite the screaming in your head not to cry. 
“You sat there while those women laid themselves all over you, while the rest of your band, and your girlfriend sat backstage and waited for you. I’m your girlfriend. Do you realize how fucked up that is? You had me waiting and waiting for you, thinking you were just interacting with fans…” You think about how easily he fooled you. 
“I’m an idiot, huh?” You trail off, lost in your thoughts of despair. You’d always been so cautious of men, of giving your feelings, always keeping your guard up so you don’t get hurt, and the one time you decide to bring them down. 
“Okay! I’m fucked up for making you wait, I know that. I- I didn’t realize how long it’d been. I’ve been drinking a-and--” 
You cut him off. “Oh, you were drinking with them too! That’s great, Ed. Just the info I need.”
He sighs defeatedly. “I- It- But they don’t mean anything to me. They don’t! Why does it matter that I was drinking with them? It’s not like I was gonna do anything, baby. You know that.” He steps in your direction but you back away and wrap your arms around yourself. 
It breaks his fucking heart. 
“I don’t know that though, do I? Because never in a million years would I have ever thought that Eddie Munson, my boyfriend, would leave me waiting because he was entertaining other women. Do you understand? How- How nerve-wracking and shocking it was to see you out there like that?” 
You take another shaking breath as you avert your gaze from his, tears spilling from your eyes. “The worst part is that- that I believed you when you said you just wanted to interact with fans. I really— God I was even happy for you. I trusted you, Eddie. Co-Completely. You know how big that is for me and you manipulated it.”
He’s rushing towards you now, dropping your charger and taking your hands in his. “No. No, listen, I- I didn’t realize, I didn’t know it- Baby, I thought it wouldn't matter, I thought you wouldn’t care because I’m yours. We’re together so why does it matter? I- I won’t date them, I won’t fuck them, I don’t love them, baby. I love you.”
You sigh and look down at your feet, unable to watch as his eyes fill with tears. 
You wish he hadn’t said that. The first time you get to hear the words ‘I love you’ coming from his lips and it’s in a setting like this..
“Okay. I believe you, Ed, but… You broke my trust, you technically ch- cheated.” His eyes widen almost comically and as his mouth starts to shape the word ‘No’ you cut him off again. “You say you didn’t but just because you weren’t going to have sex with them doesn’t mean that you should let them all over you like that!” 
Your anger bubbles up again and you finish packing, grabbing your charger and throwing your bag over your shoulder. “You’re not that stupid, Ed. You know what you did was wrong otherwise you wouldn’t have pushed those girls off you when I showed up.” You turn to leave the room but you’re compelled to ask him one more question. 
“Did you how this makes me look? You’re supposed to be mine yet there are girls all over you. It looks like I can’t satisfy you, like I’m not enough. And you know I have shit with what. Or it looks like I’m a fucking idiot letting my boyfriend get felt up by fucking groupies while I’m in the back, none the fucking wiser.” 
His tears are spilling now, one currently streaming dramatically down his cheek. “But we- Like we don’t— You don’t have to leave me. We- I’ll be better. I love you, I don't love them I just.. I’ve never gotten attention like that.. I- I just wanted to know what it felt like.” 
You know he’s trying to get through to you, that he’s trying to explain away and excuse what he did but he’s just hurting you further. Why wasn’t my attention enough? 
“Yeah no, I figured that and um… Ed, I think we should take some time apart.” All you get from him is a badly veiled sob. 
“You can flirt around all you want and… and we’ll see if we still have anything between us by the end of it.”
It’s been a little over a month now. 
He called off band practice until further notice. 
You miss him. 
You took the first week apart to come to terms with what you had just done. It was a smart move. You’re not stable enough to let Eddie flirt around with your trust, especially since it had started behind your back. This way was better. You could take some time to yourself while Eddie does whatever he wants. You decided he could come back whenever he was ready, as long as he didn’t do anything with anyone. 
You meant what you said when you left him but you started regretting it after seeing the obvious dip in Eddie’s happiness. You’d see him in school with his head perpetually down. He doesn’t interact with you at all, he doesn't look at you on campus, he sits on the opposite side of the classroom for any class the two of you have together, and makes it a point to never turn in your direction. 
You truly wanted him to relish in the fame without any guilt on your part. You figured it’d hurt you but you wanted Eddie to be able to experience the popularity he never had before. He was supposed to take his newfound freedom and spread his wings however he wished but instead he just wallowed in what he had lost. 
You hoped he’d come to you in the third week, let you know he doesn’t want he freedom you’ve granted him and he’d beg for you back. But it never happened. You thought about going to him, letting him know that you can see him struggling and you forgive him and you guys can get back together like nothing happened. But your pride couldn’t let you. He hurt you and now he’s hurting, it's fair but you shouldn’t have to be the one to concede. 
After the fourth week, you realized your mistake. You should’ve known Eddie would never have the confidence to come back to you, to ask you for another chance, to ask you to forgive and forget his past crimes. You should’ve given him a set timeframe, you should’ve told him he was free to come back when he was ready. 
In the fifth week, Gareth called a meeting. He’d had enough of the missed practices and awkwardness amongst the band. You all responded to his email in agreement. Except Eddie. 
You thought about going over to his house before practice, just to see if he was planning on showing up, to see if he was okay. But you didn’t.
You were actually quite happy to catch up with the others. You joke about how badly all your skills have diminished without a month of practice. Doug jokes about how he mostly misses the DnD nights. As if on cue, Eddie walks in. 
He’s silent and his hair is a mess, obviously not taken care of and it breaks your heart. The room falls sadly silent as Eddie unpacks his guitar and takes a seat. You feel the tension in the room suffocating you and before you can think the action through you spit out a quiet. “Jesus, Eddie.”
The boys laugh beside you and you roll your eyes before making your way over to him. Eddie looks star-struck, mouth slightly agape and eyes wide as he stares up at you, admiring the olive branch you’re extending. 
You take in his bloodshot eyes— high, and his dark circles. Your heart clenches in your chest, recalling the various late-night calls with Eddie as he complains about his insomnia, and how he would wish you were there to soothe him.
You stand beside his chair, shake your head in teasing disapproval, and run your fingers through his roots. You sigh at the immediate tangle that meets you and lock eyes with him, a playful smirk on your lips. “Where’ve you been, Eddie?”
He sucks in a soft breath to answer before Jeff cuts him off with a loud clap. “Alright, positions everyone. What’re we practicing?” You smile at him one last time before heading for your mic. 
“We could start working on “Do I Wanna Know?” Doug suggests and Eddie immediately groans out. He is very open about his hate for the song, about how he thinks it's overplayed and has no substance. In reality, everyone knows he’s just frustrated with the chords. He always wants his hands busy and the chords to this song just aren’t stimulating enough for him, he thinks they’re “boring”.
“I don’t wanna hear it, Ed. This is what the people wanna hear.” Doug defends as he picks up his bass. You clear your throat and Gareth situates himself behind his drums. Eddie is the only one who doesn’t get in formation, staying seated across from you to your left, almost in your line of sight. You make an effort to keep your eyes forward as Gareth starts the beat, pretending you can’t feel Eddie’s eyes on you as he starts his riff. 
You do your best to keep it together as you notice how easily his hands glide across the guitar, you don’t even see him look down once. You rock in time with the drums before singing out the first line. 
It feels shaky and your voice is scratchy but you power through, the boys know you need some warm-up. Your voice evens out by the next pause and you’re starting to feel more confident. 
“Are there some aces up your sleeve?” 
You see Eddie nodding in approval in the corner and you try not to let pride bleed into your voice. 
“Have you no idea that you’re in deep?”
You look over at him to see him still watching you. 
“I dreamt about you nearly every night this week.” 
You note the recognition in his eyes before you break contact, looking back at the base of your mic stand. 
“How many secrets can you keep?”
You think about how the first time you heard this song it reminded you of Eddie. It almost perfectly encapsulated how you felt for him prior to dating, and it ironically relates to how you feel about him now. Still obsessed but too prideful to do anything about it. 
You can see Eddie still staring at you from his corner, unwavering. He always gets a little more confident with his guitar, but it’s been so long since you’ve been around him you feel stupid, like a little girl with a crush. 
Doug and Gareth come in as your backing vocals. 
“Do I wanna know?”
You take your eyes away from the mic stand and look straight ahead. 
“If this feeling flows both ways.”
You see Eddie sit up in his seat.
“Sad to see you go”
“Was sorta hopin’ that you’d stay.”
You start swaying with the beat, getting more loose, and feeling the song. You switch from foot to foot, swinging your hips gently with a smile. 
“That the nights were mainly made for saying things that you can’t say tomorrow day.”
You look over at him again. 
“Crawling back to you.”
You say the next line as a genuine question, openly targeting him now. 
“Ever thought of calling when, you’ve had a few?”
You glance away from him, nervous under his penetrating stare. He hasn’t looked away from you once. You’re wondering where all this confidence was in the past few weeks. All he needed was for you to speak to him. You study his face, his reaction to the next line. 
“Maybe I’m too, busy being yours to fall for somebody new. Now, I’ve thought it through. Crawlin’ back to you.”
Eddie’s hands finally rest and he leans forward in his chair, cocking one eyebrow at you as if to ask ‘Really?’ and you respond with the next line. 
“So have you got the guts?”
Eddie takes a deep breath before sitting back and adjusting his guitar strap. He runs his hands down his thighs, wiping his clammy palms on his sweatpants as he watches you perform. It’s been so long since he’s seen you, even longer since he’s seen you without it hurting his heart. He’s missed you. 
He takes you in. He notices the pink on your nails, a different shade than the last time he noticed. He can’t help but run his eyes down your body, loving the way you move to the beat, the way you’re shimmying your shoulders. His eyes focus on your lips. 
“Simmer down and pucker up”
He gets entranced with the way they form around your words. He misses feeling them on his, on him. He remembers how soft they are, how raw they get when you’ve bitten them bloody. He watches them stretch over your pearly white teeth in a smile. He can feel your eyes on him again but he can’t pull himself away from your mouth. Not even to look at his guitar as his time comes up. 
You watch Eddie pick his guitar up and start playing again, zombie-like movements as he zeros in on your lips. You try to focus on the words, to stay on key, not stutter or slip up. But Eddie's eyes snap to yours. 
“But we could be together… If you wanted to.”
He takes a deep breath after your last line, as if he was waiting to hear it, like it’s confirmation. You can’t help the smirk that your smile morphs into and Eddie looks down. It looks like he’s focusing on his chords but his eyes are closed, deep breaths filling his lungs as he tries to calm down. 
You’re sure that your performance is mediocre due to the lyrics and pitch being the last thing on your mind. You watch Eddie’s hand slide lazily across the guitar, his ringed fingers moving faster than you could comprehend without even a fraction of his attention. You ignore the pooling in your stomach and look away from him again, trying to focus on anything else. 
“Crawling back to you.” 
You pretend not to hear the smirk in Gareth's voice. You see Eddie looking up at you again in your peripherals. He sits back and adjusts himself, lifting his hips, lowering his guitar and when you glance over you can see a lip tucked under his teeth. 
“Maybe I’m too—”
You see Eddie leaning forward as he stares at you, begging for your attention so you turn to him. His eyes soften and you can see his chest heave ever so slightly. 
“-busy being yours to fall for somebody new. Now, I’ve thought it through. Crawlin’ back to you.”
You go through the motions for the rest of the song. You keep eye contact with Eddie through all of it. 
Everything around you is forgotten as he looks into your eyes. You’ve missed him so much.
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thank you so much for reading!! please please please give any feedback you may have! I want it all! also if you liked it please take a look at my masterlist or send me some motivation here!! reblogs and comments are deeply appreciated!
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148 notes · View notes
thepenultimateword · 3 days
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Always
Villain tried to shut the door, but Henchman was too fast, catching it by its edge before the gap could fully disappear.
“Found you," they said, half threat, half croon. They shoved into the house, knocking Villain back a few steps.
"What are you doing here?" Villain said, catching themself on the coatrack and nearly pulling it down on top of themself.
Henchman reached over Villain's head to steady it and then stayed there. Peeling back the nonchalance plastered over their shame. Taking in their altered form.
"Where have you been?" they countered, soft, knuckle raised gently against Villain's cheek before abruptly dropping again.
"Here. There. What does it matter? You found me." Villain ducked under their arm and hobbled slowly to the couch. Henchman's heavy step traveled in the opposite direction, followed by the click of the door closing, then the steps tramped back toward them. By the time Villain had plopped down on the couch cushion Henchman was kneeling in front of them. For an instant, it was like nothing had changed. Total fealty.
Villain stopped their hand short before they could touch Henchman's head. It felt wrong when they were so utterly weak. There had always been a balance, Henchman so physically intimidating, and Villain thrumming with destructive power. The upper hand, the reason for such devotion, had been crystal clear. Now, Villain could wither and scatter under Henchman's expectations.
"You completely disappeared." Henchman laid their head in Villain's lap anyway. "You were hurt and I got worried. But you didn't answer my calls. You didn't tell anyone where you were going. It's taken me 8 months to track you down. It's like you were trying to avoid me."
Villain sighed, dropping their rigidness and succumbing to the urge to stroke back Henchman's hair. It was just as soft as they remembered, thick and fluffy like an animal pelt. They twirled a piece above their ear, but avoided Henchman's watching eyes as they responded, "I was done for and everyone knew it. It was better to step down and disappear than wait for someone else to assassinate me."
Henchman reached up and took loose hold of Villain's wrist. Why was their gaze so earnest? Didn't they know? Didn't they feel the difference in them? Shouldn't that past awe and adoration be visibally dying at the sight of them?
"I would've protected you," Henchman said.
"I didn't want you to. I have too many enemies. You would have been hurt."
"Then you should've told me. I would've come with you."
"I didn't want that either."
Henchman flinched, and Villain was struck with a stab of guilt. That wasn't entirely true. Of course, Villain had wanted Henchman with them. Of course, it was agony knowing they couldn't even say goodbye. But anything but a clean break would have been worse. They couldn't just ask Henchman to give up their position, goals, and standing for life of nothing. No, more than that, they couldn't bear to see Henchman's devotion grow into disdain. The loss of their powers was the loss of their worth. Henchman would've clung to the threads of their memories but ultimately, Villain would have failed them.
Henchman dropped Villain's wrist but huddled in a little closer. "And...now that I'm here?"
Villain's heart panged. "You should go back."
Henchman hugged tight around Villain's legs, almost like a lifeline. "Why?"
Moment of truth. Time to make this permanent. “I’m not going back.”
“I know.”
“I can’t. I’m ruined. Those heroes took everything when they stripped me and left me for dead."
"I know."
"And even if I wasn’t. I still wouldn’t go back. I was getting tired. Losing focus. That's how they got me in the first place."
“I know.”
Why did they keep saying that? Obviously, they did not know if they could be so casual. This was the rest of their life!
“Henchman, I can’t give you anything anymore. I don't have the influence or power to protect you. I can't bring about a bright new world. I'm spent. A pathetic shell. You should find another person to serve. I'll never be able to give you what you want."
Henchman turned their head up at them. "Why would I want any of that?"
Villain choked. "Don't you?"
"Maybe when I was a kid. Things change over a couple decades." They lifted their head and sank back on their heels. "Your powers were amazing. It's true that they drew me to you. But I never stuck around for that. Or for the status. You're just so..." Henchman broke off, face crinkling as they searched for the word. Finally, they shrugged. "I don't know; it's too big. You spent so long taking care of me. Looking out for me. Giving me chances I didn't think I deserved. Let me do the same for you." Henchman took their hand in both of theirs, hesitantly kissing one knuckle. "Just let me be with you."
Villain flushed a little. They'd always been close. Close enough for feelings. Close enough for both to recognize it in the other. But there had never seemed to be a right time to acknowledge them out loud.
"Do you really not want me here?" Henchman said at Villain's extended silence.
"You'd be ok with a normal life?" Villain pressed. "No powers, no schemes, no money, just me?"
"It's always been just you."
Villain slid off the couch and onto the floor in front of Henchman. "Of course, I want you here."
They couldn't keep their voice from cracking in the middle and the next thing they knew they were folded up in Henchman's arms. They melted immediately. All the shame, fear, and frustration seemed to fade right out of them.
"I love you."
Henchman jolted a little, but as they pressed their head to Villain's, Villain saw a smile tugging at their lips. "Good. Then I'll always, always stay."
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danytar · 2 days
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“Making him happy” [King!Aegon!Targaryen X Sister!Wife!Reader]
Warnings: Incest, cussing, expletives,+18,(f receiving), vulgarity, dark aegon, mention of fingering, mention of war and death.
Summary: Your husband feels very angry with your grandfather's neglect and you hate seeing his sour mood so as his queen and especially his wife you have to make him get better..
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Aegon was sitting on the iron throne, watching you critically as you entered. Even though he needed his fleet, the thought of trusting a pirate disgusted him.
He didn't like the idea of ​​trusting these sea vagabonds He was feeling weaker and weaker after the Greyjoys refused to ally with him against your half-sister. You hated seeing him like this he was angry most of the time and he still hasn't forgotten what happened to your precious son.
You were standing not far from his throne you could see him complaining and showing his frustration to his grandfather and his mother. you felt that you should keep your mouth shut for a time.
You do not rule out that he might insult you in his anger. you really tired of hearing his screams and his inconsiderate words, and you felt a strong desire to silence him. You know very well that aegon can easily shut up is he was with you.
When the court was finally empty, you saw him leaning back on his throne and holding his temples with his eyes closed.
You stood at a distance from his throne and spoke.. “You look upset what's wrong? ”.
He raised his head slightly and then looked at you with a stern look and his lips curled into a frown “Don't act like you dont know! I need a fleet! I need ships! ”.
“I know! Just calm down...please ”. You speak in a low tone and take a step towards his throne. You stop again and speak again “You do not have to ask for the support of the lords, like a beggar asking for alms”.
He stares at you with a slight smile on his lips as she speaks.
“Of course, you are right, my queen, as always. It is time we strike fear into the hearts of traitors. They must learn that they have to recognize me as king, as you said. But still, I need the support of a fleet, and the only way to do that is to rely on sea pirates, which I cannot accept without disgust”.
Your heart skipped a beat when you saw him smiling at you again you're really missed his smile So you maintained eye contact with him and did not break it yet. “We will take what is our will fire and blood we may not have ships, but we do have dragons.. so. If you don't have ships... destroy enemy ships ”. you replied.
Aegon raised an eyebrow at your comment “Are you suggesting burning our half-sister's fleet?”
“Yes”
Aegon felt a wave of surprise, but he remained calm. At least your idea would take care of the pirate part.“Well, that's an interesting idea. But wouldn't that bring a reaction that we weren't ready for? I mean, the whore might just send her dragons as revenge”.
“She can't attack us in King's landing If she does she will have to burn innocent people along with us to take revenge and you know I don't think she's that stupid to do such a thing”.
Aegon nodded at your words. That made sense. If the black queen attacked him she would have to attack King's Landing along with them. And that meant bringing fire and blood to innocent people, which was something he didn't want either.
“You are right, she cannot attack me in King's Landing, that would be suicidal. Now that you remind me, that solves the pirate problem. We burn the ships, and as for the rest, we fight them by swords and blood”.
Aegon smiled more as he looked at you, happy to feel the satisfaction of finding a way through the problem of relying on pirates. This was not only a practical solution but also a solution that would satisfy him because it didn't involve relying on sea vagrants.
“We have found our solution. Now all we need to do is prepare the attack, coordinate the dragon strikes, and strike at the right moment. If we do that, it will be quick and effective. The victory will be ours”.
He was grateful to have an intelligent wife like you. you were a gift from the gods sent to him.The frown finally went away and was replaced by a small cocky smile.
He rose from his throne as he strutted his walk towards you he put his hands on your waist and lifted you up.
“Aegon! ” you chuckled.. “I feel dizzy”.
He chuckled as well then pressed his lips to yours It was a surprise kiss, but you welcomed it He slowly put you down but you wrapped your arms around his neck pressed your body against his own body. You wrapped your legs around his waist and he placed his hands on your buttocks to support you.
Aegon's hands moved slowly, tracing your curves and enjoying the feel of your soft skin. He lingered on each part of your body and savored every inch of you, letting himself feel the pleasure and heat radiating from her.
your lips remained joined, and he pressed his body against yours. His heart beat faster, and his hands moved lower on your body, exploring every inch of you. He wanted to feel your entire body against him, pressing himself against you as close as he could.
You felt like he lost his balance and started to back towards the Iron Throne. you chuckled on is lips as he He sat on his throne again while you were still clinging to him. Even his ruby ​​crown lost its balance and fell off his head.
You looked at the crown as it rolled to the ground he grabbed your chin to bring your attention back to him and kissed you again This time, more passionate and hotter his tongue joined the kiss as well. You can't and moan in his mouth too.
Aegon moaned louder in response and kissed you back, using his tongue to explore your mouth in the same way. your tongues danced together, and the passion grew higher.
your bodies pressed against each other, the heat of your bare skin causing a wave of tingling to sweep over your. His hands ran from your waist to your hip and then to lower, his fingers sliding beneath the fabric there.
“Ah- my love-
“ A good queen who know to please her husband ”. he whispered.. “how lucky I am”.. His tone and voice were full of lust and seduction.
Your cold fingers slid down to unbuckle his belt and invade his dangerous areas. Aegon groaned softly at the feeling of your cold fingers underneath his pants. your hand had a delicious effect, causing his body to shiver with pleasure.
His heartbeat grew even quicker, his breath grew heavier, and he felt that he was about to lose his control when you touched that spot. His lips became more active as he continued to explore your mouth, your tongues making their way while he felt your fingers below his pants. His kisses became more active and enthusiastic, and he felt his body twitching and trembling.
You pulled away from his embrace to kneel in front of his throne then you unziped his pants. He wanted to speak, but he quickly felt your mouth on him He felt a shiver in his body. So he closed his eyes and let you comfort him. He let out a loud groan of pleasure begun to sink back into the throne.
“Fuc-fuck- yes.. darling.. make y- your king.. happy ”. He groaned as his fingers tangling in your hair. It didn't take you long before he reached his climax. You both forgot that you were in the throne room and were vulnerable to interruption and intrusion at any moment.
but you both were the king and the queen of the seven kingdoms and you will do whatever you want even if it meant having sex on that pile of metal.
Soon you felt him cum inside your mouth you took everything he gave you graciously. When you finally pulled away from him, he opened his eyes and smiled widely at you.
His thumb wiped away the remaining liquid on the corner of your mouth. you chuckled softly so did he Then he pulled you into his lap again he unzipped your pants this time to put it inside you.
Of course he wasn't done with you yet...you were the one who wanted to play dirty...
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– Taglist ♡ : @hisfavegiri @callsignwidow @xitsemm @saltytidalwavetyphoon @khaleesihel @credulouskhaleesi @lovelykhaleesiii
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Hiii (’◡’) I really liked that fan fiction of choso where he's jealous over the kitty but I think it would be so cute w nanaaamii plz plz💗(*ˊᗜˋ*)
Ahhh thank you for reading my fic (and liking it) 🥰.
Here we go
Jealousy
Tw: none, just fluff. But not edited.
FEATURING: NANAMI
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It all started after a hard day's work. Another overtime.
Nanami sighed as he turns the key and steps inside your shared apartment, he really needed to just feel you right now.
"I'm back." He mumbled kicking off his shoes.
He dosent hear you move or respond...weird. He walks into the living room, sunlight comes in golden rays settling on your sleeping figure. His mouth upturns into a smile.
Until it dosent.
There on you peaceful rising chest was a white fluff ball, it's form also rising up and down. It took his spot.
Feeling something around you, your eyes slowly open to see a very exhausted Nanami.
"Welcome back Kento" you say sleepily sitting upright the white fluff now in your arms.
"What do you have there?" He asked.
You were to tierd to tell how he asked the question. Was he upset? Angery? Hard to tell.
"Oh this guy. I found him on our window sill this morning and he was injured."
Right on que the cat lifts one of its paws up revealing a small bandage wrapped around it.
Kento thought a vain in his head was going to burst when the cat turned to face him only to snuggle right under your face and reveal its big blue eyes.
There was something wrong with this cat. Cats don't just show up injured on a 6th floor apartment window. Cats don't smirk and hit people's nerves.
And most importantly they shouldn't look like a carbon copy of a white haired co worker that passes him off.
"He looks better already." Kento mumbled glaring at the cat.
"You know I actually have a cut here to" He said lifting his shirt up only too show half of his torso with a deep wound on one side.
"Oh Kento, why didn't you go to Shoko?! She would have foxed this in a minute!" You said putting the cat aside and getting up to grab your patch up supplies.
"She was on break and I wanted to see you." He sighed.
"But I see someone beat me to it." He glared at the cat.
You brought over a box and started attending to the wound.
"Kento what if it got infected? What if you made it worse? You cant just ignore this like it's nothing!" You said as you finished disinfecting it.
He only watched as the cat jumped off the couch and weaved between your legs.
"Aww isn't he the cutest." You said looking down at the cat.
"If you say so darling. How long is he going to be here anyway, i'm afraid his owners might begin to miss him"
"Actually he's a stray, he doesn't have anyone Ken, isn't that sad!"
"mm very, what do you suppose we do about it?" he asked glaring into the cats back.
"We should at least look after him until he heals, and I know this apartment doesn't allow pets but I spoke to the land lady and she said I can keep him here until he's better" You beamed only making him sigh.
He can't make you sad when you were this excited about having a cat, TEMPORARILY.
"Okay. We can keep him for now, but I need to rest and that means me and you. No cat."
The cat meowed loudly from the other room.
"I mean it."
"Okay Ken!" You said just glad you could keep the cat.
THANK YOU FOR READING ♡
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AUTHOURS NOTE: Tehe thanks for the request anon and sorry it took so long :( have a good whatever time.
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pepsiboyy · 2 days
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Could you do one where the boys are on a tour (in Australia maybe😏) and the reader gets like a backstage pass for her and he bff and reader is talking to Chris in the meet greet(earlier cause of the pass) and Chris seems to take interest in her so he slips his number in her pocket and she eventually finds and called the number confused and he picks it up and then after awhile of them talking back and forth Chris asks her out and they start dating blah blah blah (sorry for the in Australia maybe lol I just want them to do a tour here so I can meet em)
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SAVE MY NUMBER.
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pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: the triplets are finally having an abroad tour and the reader purchased vip tickets with their best friend to meet them. what happens when she finds a stray set of numbers on her postcard when she gets back to the hotel? warnings: cursing, use of y/n!! a/n: thank u for the request love <3 i hope this is awesome sauce !! i tried so hard to make this enjoyable LOLL but i think it may have come out ok!! <3 lowercase intentional !!
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my fingers anxiously picked at my shoes with one hand as my other hand scrolled through instagram.
"come on, y/n, aren't you excited!?" my best friend, harper, exclaimed as she gripped my shoulder and shook me rapidly.
with a soft nod and a small chuckle, i nodded as i locked my phone and let it fall into my lap. "of course i am. i'm just tired of sitting here."
we had been sitting in the sun on the side of the venue in line for the last hour and a half. it was that point in the day where the sun was beating directly onto us.
i had managed to get my best friend and i some tickets to the triplets' tour with the meet and greet pass. counting down the days was grueling, but we finally made it and the hardest part was now. waiting outside to be let into the building.
"it'll be worth it. who even cares?"
i nodded softly as i looked her up and down. she was decked out in purple, some purple stars drawn on her cheeks under her eyes and some purple cargo pants with a let's trip tee and some white air forces.
i, personally, was drowning in orange. with an orange crop top and deep gray ripped jeans, my outfit was topped off with orange nike high top dunks and an orange belt. my friend had helped me out with the orange stars, mine on the opposite side from harper's.
"y/n, the line is moving!"
i turned my head to harper, being ripped from my thoughts before quickly standing to my feet and moving up in line.
the line moved slow, but it was something.
we still had a long way to go.
-
the line for the meet and greet felt like it was forever, but as we got closer, i felt like no time had passed at all. i could see them every once in a while through the lit cloth between the line and the boys, and my eyes shifted to harper. "dude, we're almost there." i chuckled, trying to keep myself as calm as possible as harper made noises i didn't even know were humanly possible.
"y/n, i don't know what to do or say, i think i might shit myself."
i slammed a hand over harper's mouth and let out a cackle, shaking my head. "shh, say that less loud." i scoffed and before i knew it, harper was next in line.
my hands toyed with the orange belt that helped my jeans hug my hips, my eyes glued in front of me as i watched the three boys.
the three boys i watched at first every once in a while when they appeared on my for you page, but i quickly became a huge supporter of the triplets, and they were somewhat a coping mechanism for me when things were hard.
and now i'm meeting them.
"next!"
i shot harper a smile and tapped her shoulder. "you got it!" i smiled brightly and waved as she approached matt.
i felt a lump develop in my throat. this was bad.
it wasn't a crying lump, but an anxious lump. unfortunately, when i get nervous, i can't help but ramble and yap.
"next!"
no way time flew by that fast. as i approached matt, i swallowed and smiled brightly as i felt like each step that i took was in slow motion.
matt's arms opened and i quickly stepped towards him and hugged him tightly. "hi, matt," i breathed, taking a deep breath as the reality of the situation began to settle.
"what's your name?" he asked softly, picking up his photo and signing it quickly.
"oh, it's y/n," i breathed, the smile on my face so wild you could have probably found me in a horror movie.
"nice to meet you, y/n. i hope we haven't kept you waiting too long?" he questioned, and i quickly shook my head.
"i'm just happy you guys are here," i breathed and smiled brightly at him before my expression fell. "oh my god a picture-" i scrambled to reach and get my phone from my back pocket, opening my camera and lifting it up.
two bright smiles later, matt pulled me into one more hug and smiled brightly, while i wished him luck on the rest of the tour.
i turned to see nick and smiled brightly, pulling him into a deep hug. i always had a theory that nick gave the best hugs of the three. so far, my theory was correct.
"hi, friend!" nick cheered, signing his card and smiling at me. "your star makeup is so cute, your friend had the same thing, no?"
i smiled brightly and nodded, biting my lip. "yeah, she did them for me actually! she's the best." i smiled and pulled out my phone.
"i'm so glad you guys could come." he stated as he wrapped an arm around me and held up a thumbs up in the camera.
i smiled brightly as i pulled away and gave him one last hug. "you guys are amazing. i just thought you should know, i'm proud of you guys. good luck tonight!" i told nick as i pulled from the hug. nick shot me a soft and quick thank you as i was rushed off to the final triplet.
christopher sturniolo.
i felt my entire being crumble the moment i took a few steps forward.
of course, i loved all three of the triplets with everything i had.
but chris.. i related to him in many ways and always found my eyes gravitating to him while watching their videos. he's a silly guy, and it doesn't help that i find him insanely attractive between the three.
"you in there?"
my eyes shot to chris as i let out a breath i didn't know i was holding.
i literally just spaced out in front of chris, who waved his hand in front of me to snap me out of my trance.
not to mention i'm decked out in his color.
"hi!" i squeaked, and he pulled me into a hug.
i bit my lip as i hugged him tightly, taking a deep breath.
the hug lasted for a little longer than needed, but i wasn't complaining.
not sure if it's because it's chris or not, but i think nick has some competition for best hug.
"i like your outfit," chris stated softly as he pulled away from the hug. i smiled brightly at him, and i couldn't tell if i was gaslighting myself or if he licked his lips while looking at my orange self.
"thanks, i don't really wear much orange," i stated and i felt my face heat up.
"it's definitely your color more than it is mine. consider wearing it more often?" he asked, writing on the card and pausing before deciding to hand it to me. "wanna take a selfie?"
i nodded quickly and shakily took out my phone and began to raise it, but chris carefully took it from my hands and raised it himself, wrapping his other arm around my shoulders softly.
he took about four photos and handed me the phone back.
after signing the card, taking a little longer than usual, he looked me up and down one more time.
we stood there for a few moments, simply looking at each other and i noticed my friend waving at me from behind chris, about ten feet away.
"you're gonna do great tonight," i quickly said to him, and he simply smiled at me and nodded, running his fingers through his hair to adjust his bangs.
holy fuck, this guy isn't real.
"i'll do great because you came. thanks for coming." he stated softly, and brought me into a tight hug.
i bit my lip hard as i hugged him back, taking in a deep breath.
-
the night went incredibly well. the show was enjoyable with the games they all played, and i told harper about the interaction i had with chris.
harper was in the shower. i had just gotten out, my pajama pants and small black tshirt hugging my body perfectly as i laid against my bed in the hotel.
i turned to the postcards, smiling brightly as i took them into my hands and admired them. i turned them in the light to look at the layered marker, holding them towards the lamp. as i got to chris's, i noticed some writing on the back through the light and my heart jumped out of my chest.
i threw myself up off the mattress and flipped the postcard over, feeling my heartrate pick up at the phone number written against the back.
"dude, the shampoo in there is awesome. you weren't kidding." harper stated as she dried her hair in a towel as she sat in front of me, also in her pajamas. "you okay?"
i looked at her and slowly held up the card, pointing at the number.
"holy fuck, is that..?" harper trailed off, and i bit my lip.
"oh my god, i need to call it." i stated as i searched for my phone under the comforter, quickly retrieving it and dialing the number.
i put my phone on speaker as i looked at harper, my leg bouncing anxiously.
"hello?"
my heart sank.
"h- hello?"
i mentally cursed at myself for stuttering.
"who is this?"
"uhh, it's y/n, i found this number on the back of my postcard-" i was quickly cut off.
"y/n!" he cheered. "it's chris."
"are you fucking for real?" i whispered, biting my lip.
"yes ma'am." he chuckled, and i shook my head. there's no way this is fucking happening right now.
"i know it's late and you guys probably have jet lag, so i'm sorry, but i just found it-"
"it's fine, really, i was running fortnite with matt." he stated quickly, cutting me off.
i snorted. it made sense.
"well, get a victory royale ok?"
"for you, i will. save my number, i'll text you." chris stated, and i looked at harper who was in utter shock.
"right, yeah i will." i stated quickly, and hung up afterwards.
silence overcame harper and i before i bit my lip and we both screamed at the top of our lungs at the same time.
there was no way this was real.
-
my eyes were beginning to shut as the video of the triplets from a few weeks ago seemed to be watching me.
i turned to harper, who had fallen asleep a little while ago and blinked a few times when my phone vibrated and chris's name appeared on my screen.
a bright smile took over my face as i began texting him, and my night was made even more. somehow.
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batsythoughts · 2 days
Text
As per the results of the poll, here is Yandere! Jason Todd with baby trapping! These are all going to be written as AFAB
Warnings: Possessive tendencies, manipulative behavior and actions, dubious consent (technically all will be), forced pregnancy (obviously), I don't really know what else to put. Let me know if there is more I should add
Smut under the cut. Minors please do not interact with this post
You and Jason had been going out for about 7 months when the whole thought had formed in his head
You had said that you and some coworkers were going to a bar nearby to get some bonding time away from work
Jason, being the loving and caring boyfriend, offered to go and make sure none of you had too much to drink
He mostly wanted to go and make sure your coworkers are good enough people for you to spend time with
Your time was precious to the both of you, and he didn't want it to be wasted on anyone who wasn't going to be good for you
You both got to the bar before your coworkers, so Jason left you to get the first round of drinks while he quickly went to the bathroom
It didn't take him more than 8 minutes before he came back out
He stopped in his tracks as he saw some guy standing beside you as he attempted to flirt with you
Jason could see you trying to politely end the conversation from where he was. Why you think of flirting back when you had him to take care of you like you deserved?
Jason came walking over and wrapped his arm around your waist. Innocently leaning in to place a kiss behind your ear while asking who your new 'friend' was
The guy looks Jason up and down with a scoff as he pushes off the bar. Making a comment you leading him on and he would wait for when you changed your mind under his breath while walking away
Jason glared at him as he held you closer. Gently guiding you to a booth in the corner after your coworkers finally showed up
Jason didn't pay attention to the conversation as he stared the guy down from the other side of the bar
The grip on his glass gets tighter as he watched this guy talk with his buddies while gesturing in your direction
Jason smirked as he made eye contact with the guy, enjoying the terrified look on his face
Tilting your head to face Jason, he leaned in for a deep kiss. Drawing out the action for a few seconds before pulling away to glance back at the guy. Proud of himself when the guy looks away and stops talking
You lightly push Jason while saying not to do that in public
But the bashful smile on your face when he looks back at your face tells him that you enjoyed it just as much as he did
Your coworkers laugh while joking about getting that kind of affection from their significant others
The rest of the evening goes by quickly with a couple of drinks in everyone's system as 10 o'clock comes rolling around
Jason gently guides you back into your shared apartment, his hands resting on your hips to keep you from stumbling
He carefully changed you into your sleepwear before making you drink a glass of water and have a small snack before putting you to bed
After making sure you were sound asleep, Jason goes to the bathroom to begin his nightly routine
His blood boils as he thinks about what that guy had said to you
How dare anyone think that you would ever be available again when you had Jason? He was the one that was going to be with you until the end of your lives!
He tried to think of a way that could make it clear that you were Jason's and he was your's till death do you part
He begins to pull his vitamins out of the medicine cabinet while he brushed his teeth. A low groan sounding from him as a few different medications fall out by accident
He begins to put each of them back in their space when his hands stop as he stares at one specific medicine
Your birth control pills
He looked them over as he noticed you still had half a month left until you would need a refill. Hell, it looked like your doctor would need to write you a new prescription when this was gone
The gears in his head turned as he had an idea formed in his head
After all, no contraceptive is truly able to prevent pregnancy entirely
Looking back into the bedroom through the bathroom door, Jason watched for a moment as you slept
He knew that the two of you would be together for a long time to come. You were the one that he was planning to settle down and have a family with, and he was certain you felt the same way.
Would it really be so bad if he just made the process go by just a bit quicker than agreed upon?
Finishing up in the bathroom, Jason changed into new underwear and a tank top before slipping into bed
Wrapping his arms around you, he lightly kissed your cheek as he whispered that he would make sure everyone knew you were his
The next couple of days went by normally as Jason slowly began to get his plan set into motion
He got a few placebo birth control packs that looked basically similar to the ones that you had
When you called in to get the refill and the new prescription, he offered to go and get it for you so you didn't have to worry about it after you got off of work
When he went to grab it, he began to go over the explanation for the new packaging in his head for when you did get home that night
He smiled when he got back and expertly opened the box and switching out the real birth control with the placebos he had gotten for you
Jason put the box back together as he threw the birth control in the trash to take it out so you wouldn't find it by accident
When you got home, Jason went up to you to give you a loving kiss as he began to ask about your day
He listens with interest as you tell him about all the drama that had happened with all your coworkers
At one point you did look at him while asking if he remembered to get your pills
He grinned while saying he did. Pretending to remember the pharmacist had said that the brand of birth control had changed looks but it should still work just as well
Jason begins to get into your space while placing kisses and nips at the skin of your neck as you stand in the kitchen to figure out what to do for dinner
You laugh while leaning into his touch, asking him what had gotten into him so suddenly
Jason smiled as his hands roamed down your body, resting on your stomach for a moment before beginning to undo the buttons of your pants
"Can't a guy just want his beautiful girl? I just want to show just how much I love you."
The truth though was that he was already getting excited of the thought of you becoming pregnant in the next few months
Jason could barely contain himself as he celebrated the last night you were on the birth control by fucking it out of you
Jason still had to be patient with his process as he waited for the medicine to make its way out of your bloodstream entirely
He did research to figure out ways to try and make a successful pregnancy happen: positions to try, making healthier foods to prepare your body for the changes, symptoms to look for after the attempt of trying
Each time you called in a refill, Jason would go and 'pick it up' for you so you didn't worry about it
After about four months, Jason finally decided it would be a good time to finally begin to putting the last part of his plan into action
He had been tracking your cycle thoroughly over the past months, so he knew which night that you were ovulating
He had put together a small movie night while also ordering some of your favorite take out before starting his strategy
He even drew a small bubble bath for you to soak in after you got off of work while he got everything set up for the night
As you were in the bathroom, Jason double checked everything to make sure that it would work out in his favor, hopefully
With the both of you in comfortable clothing, the TV plays the movies that he had picked out to help set the mood
You laugh while eating the food he got, occasionally sharing bites of the others food
Jason's lips would land on your skin every once in awhile as he begins getting excited for what was going to happen in the next few hours
When the food was gone, Jason went to the kitchen area again as he threw the trash away and the silverware in the sink
He let out a deep breath to compose himself as he looked over at you. His heart racing as he gently palms his growing erection before going back to the couch
He let the movie continue in the background as he gently rubbed his hand over your thigh
He smiled as he watched the screen to try and hold out for a bit longer before going on with his plan
Eventually his eagerness outweighs his patience as his hand slides up your thigh
Jason gently nudges your cheek with his nose. Smiling when you look at him before he begins to kiss you
The small sigh that comes from you strokes at Jason's ego as his fingers slip past the waistband of both your pants and underwear
His fingers circle your clit carefully as he continues to kiss you lovingly
His gentle actions get slightly more confident as he gladly takes in the soft moans that you let out
Jason pulls away from your lips as he feels your thighs begin to tense up, smiling to himself as he draws out the first of many orgasms for the night
He rest his head against yours as he slowly moved his fingers down as be used them to fuck you through your orgasm and into the next one
"That's a good girl. You gonna keep taking what I give you like the good girl I know you are?"
Jason expertly pulls two more orgasms from you before he finally let's up. Kissing you gently before guiding you to the bedroom to get on with his plan
He eagerly tugged of your clothes before laying you down on the bed. Staring you down as he stripped his own clothes off
Opening the nightstand drawer, Jason reached in and pulled out a box of condoms
Jason opened it before cursing while tossing it back into the drawer
You sit up slightly while asking him what was wrong
He said he forgot to restock on condoms since the last time you all got intimate
It wasn't a complete lie though. He had known that he ran out the last time, but he had planned to run out for this moment before he had to restart the process again with the next box
He took a few deep breaths while saying it would be fine and he could go calm down with a shower and then you both could continue with the movie night when he was done
Your chest heaved slightly as you looked at him from the bed. Looking him over while thinking over your options.
"It's just one night. I'm sure it will be alright to not use a condom one time."
Jason smiled as he double checked, even though he knew the answer would stay the same
You were his special love after all. Always so eager to please him no matter the situation it would put you in
Or in this case, the situation he would be putting in you starting tonight
He didn't give you a chance to rethink the decision before climbing onto the bed
Grabbing one of the pillows, he flipped you over and placed it under your stomach
This was a normal position for Jason to put you in, he always did when he was feeling extra intense that night
How thankful he was that he didn't have to worry about explaining why he was doing it tonight
He had read somewhere in his research that it could increase the chances of getting pregnant and how he was so hopeful it would work
Jason rests one hand on your thigh while the other goes to your back while gently pushing you into the bed
He carefully pushed into you with a deep sigh, his nails digging into your skin at the feeling of you clenching around his cock
Jason starts out by slowly pulling out halfway before sinking all the way back in. Keeping that pace with a low moan as he lightly pulled you to him with each thrust
He didn't want you to get overstimulated so quickly into the night by simply railing you into the mattress
Despite how good Jason was feeling, he couldn't help but feel that something was already off
Looking towards your face, he quickly noticed you biting the fabric of the pillow your head was resting on
Oh, that wouldn't do at all
The hand on your back slid up to reach around and grasp at your throat. Softly tilting your head up as he leaned onto your back to whisper in your ear
"I thought you were being my good girl tonight. Cause last I checked, good girls don't try hiding the noises they make."
To emphasize his point, Jason pulled out before harshly pulling you back to meet his hips
The startled whine you let out vibrated under his hand made Jason smirk as he placed a condescending kiss to your cheek
"Just like that. Now don't make me have to tell you to be good again."
With that, Jason leaned back up while resting both hands on your hips
This time he used his grip to pull your hips back to meet his, never once speeding up on the original pace he set
He let out a light groan when he felt you push against his pelvis each time he pulled you back to him
Jason could tell you were getting closer to another orgasm by the way your walls started to clamp down on his cock
He slipped a hand down to rub your clit in small circles. His own need to find release rising steadily as he rocks his hips against yours
Jason bit his lip as he pushed his hips flush to yours as he finally came. Your own orgasm following close behind as let out a soft cry
Normally, Jason would bask in the after haze of both of your orgasms, but tonight was different
Tonight he was on a mission as he slowly began grinding against you
Jason shushed your whines as you said it was too much
He leaned back down kiss along your neck as he let out a small moan at how you still were spasming on his cock
"Come one, baby. You got one more in ya. Just one more tonight. Come on, baby. For me, please."
Lord, how could you say no to such a reasonable request from your dear boyfriend?
Soon, 'one more' turned turned into a two hour session with Jason coming inside you 5 more times
He littered kisses along your neck as he gently rolled you onto your back. Mumbling praise of how well you did for him while slowly standing up
Going to the kitchen and bathroom, Jason made sure to have you drink some water before wiping you down with a warm cloth
He smiled while watching you fall asleep from the intensity of your love making session
He was extra gentle in the area of your crotch so he wouldn't wipe every bit of his cum
He knew both of you were clean so the only thing to worry about was the night he would eventually get you pregnant
Jason kissed the crown of your head while whispering that he would help you with a shower in the morning before making you breakfast as a reward
Jason made sure to pay extra attention to your behaviors over the next couple of weeks
You didn't show any regular signs that you were pregnant with what he had looked up in all his research
The only thing that matched was the fact you would get headaches when you got home from work, but that wasn't too unusual from the normal
It was over a month since that night and Jason was worried that he would have to wait another couple of months to try again
He was currently finishing up making some spaghetti for dinner as you sat on the couch while on the phone with one of your relatives
He quickly called out saying that it was ready while you smiled at him with a small nod
He watched as you stood up as your voice trailed off while trying to say good bye
Jason's heart plummeted as he watched you drop your phone and fall to the ground
He rushed over while checking you over for any injuries from the fall
You blinked up at him while taking a few deep breaths as you regain your bearings
Jason quickly grabs your phone while saying you would call back later before hanging up
He quickly helped you get up while saying you were going to the doctor to get checked out
His mind raced as he helped you to the car and began driving to the nearest walk-in clinic from your apartment building
He worried profusely as he quickly got you checked into the waiting room
He paced in the exam room as the two of you waited for the doctor to come and check on you
When she finally arrived, Jason and you both explained what had happened in detail while she listened to every worry
She quickly suggested that you do a quick blood and urine tests to see if they couldn't figure out what could be wrong
Jason held your hand when you gave the vial of blood and waited outside the bathroom door in case you would need him
The two of you sat in the room as you both wondered what could be wrong with you with genuine concern
When the doctor came back in, you both stared at her as she sat down in her chair with a smile
"We did a few quick test and found what caused the fainting spell. You're pregnant."
She continues to go on about how you probably had low iron due to the new life growing inside of you
Jason gave a breathless laugh as his mind finally calmed down
He had actually done it. You were pregnant with only one try from him
You quickly stammered out that you were on birth control and that it should be almost impossible for you to be pregnant with how religiously you took the medicine
The doctor shifts while saying that while it unlikely to get pregnant, it wasn't impossible even with so many precautions on either sides part
She quickly began giving the two of you the options that could be taken for carrying to term or a few other clinics that could help with a termination and mediation you would need for either option
Jason had to hold his tongue at the suggested of an abortion. He couldn't scare you into this by saying that was not happening before you thought about it.
Besides, he knew you would come to the right decision in the end no matter what you said at this moment
He held your hand while asking what you wanted to do with the whole baby situation
You were silent for a minute as you bite your lip. Squeezing his hand while looking into his eyes before giving a small nod with a shaky 'okay'
Jason smiled as he returned your nod while looking back at the doctor while listening to all her suggestions on the medicines you would be put on to getting in touch with a couple of OBGYNs for who you would want to be the doctor you would have for the baby
Jason felt over the moon while driving back to the apartment. One hand resting on your thigh as he thought of the next few months that would come
He made sure to keep you steady while getting you back to the apartment
He began talking about some things you would need to do for when the baby would arrive as he reheated the spaghetti
He looked up to look at you to see you aren't in the room anymore
He waited as you came out from the bathroom with 'birth control' packet he had picked up just last week
He watched as you threw it in the trash with a huff before looking at him again with a smile
Jason returned it as he leaned in for a kiss while rubbing his hand over your stomach
He quickly pulled away to kneel down on the ground while lifting your shirt up
You laugh while asking what he was doing
He smiled up at you before placing a soft kiss just above your bellybutton
"Kissing the two most important people in my life."
He wouldn't forget the small twinkle in your eyes as you looked down at him
He got back on his feet before getting you a plate of spaghetti to eat. Adamant that you needed to eat everything to properly feed the baby as well
The night continues on with small chatter of plans for a nursery and telling everyone the big news
Jason couldn't help the proud smile on his face as the night continued on
He had done it. You would now have a reminder that you were meant to be with him for the rest of your life. That now every guy knows they couldn't ever stand a chance of being with you like Jason was.
He gently kissed you again while wondering if you would potentially get on birth control again after the baby was born
Oh well, it's not like 'accidents' can't simply repeat themselves later on in life
The next few weeks, Jason slowly gets to share all the information that he researched with you with the excuse of looking it up after finding out you were pregnant
He had even started to buy those corny parent shirts online and wore them any chance he got
He would smile every time you both went out and older couples would always congratulate the two of you if they happened to notice
He was so happy when your bump finally began to show. He would always have at least one hand on you at all times
He moment he felt a kick for the first time, hearts appeared in his eyes as he looked at you in awe
The best thing to happen in public was one day you were just grabbing a few things at the store for snacks along with a couple of onesies that Jason thought were absolutely adorable
You were getting to the six month mark so it was beginning to get a bit harder for you to lean down like you once had
He was wait for you to decide which can of fruit you were going to have he grab when he looked down the aisle
Jason immediately recognized the guy from that night in the bar looking at you with a smirk on his face
The smirk quickly fell when he meets Jason's cold glare
You didn't even notice the attention as you pointed to a can on the very bottom at the back
Jason didn't miss a beat as he leans down to grab the can for you. Placing a soft kiss on your bump as he stood again
Jason wrapped his arm around you as you began to walk down the aisle to see if there was anything else you needed
Jason continues to glare the guy down with his own smirk. Bringing his hand up to drag his thumb over his neck
The guy became startled as he rushed out of the aisle from the clear threat from your 'protective' boyfriend
Jason smiled as you continued to guide him through the last few aisles before going to check out
This would definitely be one of his personal favorite moments that happened in public during this pregnancy
Because it was just proof that you were always going to be his for as long as you both breathe
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sweetbans29 · 1 day
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Hey You PART 2 - CC
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Pairing: Caitlin Clark x Reader
Summary: It has been just over a week since you reconnected with Caitlin and she is off to the WNBA draft. The two of you get Deja Vu as you figure out what is worth fighting for.
Warnings: Freaking CC - she at this point needs to be a warning in herself, fluff
Word Count: 3.7k
Hey You - CC (Part 1)
Sweetbans Masterlist
AN: THIS WAS NOT IN THE PLAN. I was in no way planning on continuing 'Hey You' but after watching the draft there is no way I can't. Thank you all for the love and support!
It has been 3 days. 3 days since you and Caitlin have reconnected and you have been talking nonstop. It came as no surprise that things went almost seamlessly back to the way things were in high school. It helped a lot that Caitlin had a break from practice and graduation for you is at the end of this week. It all came as a whirlwind and you can't believe how fast everything has moved.
You are currently back at your university in Pittsburg, finishing up the final project of your undergrad career. It has been quite the struggle considering, but you are ready to be done and look forward to what is up ahead. As you are sitting in a coffee shop your mind does what it does best and takes you back to the beginning of the week...
You are the first to wake up. Your body begins to move as your eyes remain closed, not wanting to awake from this moment. After a few minutes, you finally muster up the strength to open your eyes. When you do, you are met with the sun peaking through the hotel curtains. Caitlin is curled up at your side, head on your chest, arm around your torso, and legs intertwined with yours. You never want to leave.
Your hand comes up to her head as you begin to run your hand through her hair. It is a little tangled but you gently work your fingers through the knots. Being as gentle as you can, you move all the hair out of her face and kiss her forehead. She begins to stir and her fingers begin to play with the hem of the sleep shorts she let borrow when you decided to stay the night with her. It reminds you of the lazy day that was the turning point of your relationship.
You bring your hand down from her head to rub her back, lifting her shirt to allow your skin to feel hers. She lets out a sigh as your fingers dance along the skin of her back.
"Hey you," you say as you give the top of her head another kiss. She looks up at you with a smile and you give her a little peck. A pout decorates her face as she was hoping for something a little more but you both knew neither of you had the time.
"I never want to leave this moment," she says as she separates herself just enough to bring her hand up to caress your face. She uses her thumb to rub your cheek, then removes her hand to allow her fingers to trace your eyebrows, then cheekbones, all the way down to your lips. As her finger touches your lips, a smile begins to form. She leans down to give you a kiss, making sure it is more the measly peck you gave her just seconds ago.
You let out a sigh knowing that as much as you both don't want to move - she has a flight to get to, and you need to get back to finish and submit your final project to graduate.
When you break away from her lips you make the move to get out of bed all in one motion. Caitlin flops down and lets out a groan. You let out a little laugh and make your way to the restroom to change back into the clothing you came in.
"With all the talking that we did last night, we didn't really talk about what our plan is..." you say coming out from the restroom in your jeans and a sweatshirt you stole from Caitlin.
She looks up at you and with no hesitation says, " Well you are mine and I am yours. Regardless of what happens in the next week and a half - I know I want you. And I know that I am not making the same mistake as last time and letting you walk out of my life. You're it for me, baby."
The smile on your face is brighter than the sun. You lean down to where she is and pull her in for a kiss. You mumble 'I love you" against her lips. She responds with the same reply, then says “I know I’ll be seeing you soon because that’s my favorite sweatshirt and I want it back.”
A smile creeps its way onto your lips - “Good luck with that,” you say as you slowly back away from her. She shakes her head, her own smile dawning her face.
The two of you decide to just take things as they come for now. With graduation coming up in a couple of days and her heading to the WNBA draft in a week - there wasn't a whole lot of planning that could be done. As much as you both hate it - you know you are locked into each other and you know that this is your chance to fight for one another. So with that, you both promise to talk as much as you can to figure it out.
You are brought back to reality when you hear your phone ring. Looking down - you see Caitlin's face grace your phone screen. With a smile, you answer it.
"Hey babe, I was just thinking about you," you say as you close your laptop.
"How is your project going?" She asks, already knowing you have been struggling to get it done. The senioritis has really set in, and as much as you want to be done - you aren't quite there yet.
"I am working on it right now," you say. A little bluff won't hurt. And to be fair, you just finished the biggest chunk of it so a little study break to talk to your girl was deserved.
"Oh is that right?" She says with a little laugh. "Is that why your laptop is closed?"
You sit up straighter and start to glance around. "How did you know my laptop was closed? I just closed it, I finished the largest section."
"Lucky guess..." she begins. "Or I sent someone to keep an eye on you," she says teasingly. Now you are full-on looking around, scanning all the people who are sitting on the patio of your favorite coffee shop. You don't see anyone you recognize aside from the baristas and there is no way Caitlin would have the coffee shop spying on you.
Before you have time to ask her how she knows your study habits, you feel arms come and wrap themselves around you from behind. Your hands immediately find themselves on the arms that swallowed you and you inhale your favorite scent.
"I sent me. I am the someone here to keep an eye on you," Caitlin says as she squeezes you almost to the point of suffocation.
You are speechless as you immediately stand to give her a proper greeting. You bury yourself in her as she wraps her arms around you. When you finally break apart you invite her to sit. Even after all these years, the two of you fall back into your old habit of keeping your more intimate interactions to yourselves.
"What are you doing here? You need to be on your way to New York in what, like 3 days," you say with the biggest smile on your face.
"Funny you mention that," she says as she sits forward and places her hands on the table. Her fingers begin to fiddle with themselves signaling she was nervous.
Nervous Caitlin was one of your favorite things. It was a rare occasion to see her nervous since she was so calm on the court. So seeing her fingers fiddle and her gaze shift from your eyes down to her fingers shows how even after four years, you really do still have an effect on her.
Your foot taps her leg. You use it as a sign to show that it is just you - that she has nothing to be nervous about. She looks back up at you with a little smile and finally says what she wants.
"Come with me to New York," she says more as a demand than a question.
Your eyes just look into hers. As you are looking into her eyes - your mind begins to figure out how that would work. You graduate in two days which puts a day in between when Caitlin needs to be in New York. Would that be enough time for her, for you?
Now it is her leg tapping yours as you blink and come back to this moment.
"Don't think about it, just come with me. I want you there...I need you there," she says, slowing down as she says she needs you.
"Caitlin," you say as you take your hand in hers. It takes her by surprise but she doesn't pull away. She looks down at your hands, fingers playing with hers, and she lets out a deep breath she didn't realize was being held in. She looks back up at you and the second her eyes meet yours you say, "I'm there."
From that moment on, the next few days were nonstop. Caitlin explained the plan that her management team was scheduling everything once they hit the ground in New York - you included. And since she didn't need to be feet on the ground until Saturday, she was able to stay with you through graduation. After that - she would head back to Iowa for a day and you would close up anything you needed in Pittsburg. You would then meet her in New York. It was a lot and it was fast but she was worth it and she was so excited and nervous. You weren't going to say no to her.
You finished your final project and turned it in just before the deadline. Caitlin is absolutely no help to you as she proves to be more of a distraction than an encouragement. So much so that you would have to send her away from your apartment so you could finish what you needed to. You told her to go explore the place she spent the last four years or you would send her out to pick up food.
Then came graduation. You graduated that Thursday morning and then had a smaller graduation ceremony for your department on Thursday night. Your whole family had come out to support you. They were beyond static that Caitlin was there and had re-entered your life.
When the two of you decided to go your separate ways after high school, both your parents would always keep each other updated on what the other was doing. Even though they thought you both were doing the mature thing, they never fully understood why you two never connected after going to college. They all saw how much you loved each other. If they were to ask you about that today - you would tell them it was easier to not see each other than pretend that you could go back to being just friends.
After graduation, you headed back to your apartment with Caitlin and your family. It was a post-celebration time to hang out and doubles as a time to pack up your apartment since your plan was to move back home until you found a place in Iowa. It was great having everyone in your apartment, even though you have only been there for 2 years, it has been home for you. The help was much needed and it was quite the fun. Your family left around midnight while Caitlin stayed with you.
The two of you get ready for bed. She lets you get ready first, leaving her to walk out of the bathroom to find you sprawled out on the bed. You let out little snores as a little stream of drool ran from your mouth. Caitlin sits down on the bed and just takes in the sight of you. She grabs her phone to snap a quick pic of you - never to see the light of day and for her viewing pleasure only. Maybe even to tease you about it someday.
She put her phone down and lifted your arm to crawl into bed. She places your arm on her torso and scoots closer to you while placing an arm around you. You stir in your sleep, never waking but work your way into her side. She kisses your head and whispers 'I love you' before knocking out herself.
The next two days fly by as you move your stuff back to Iowa and get ready to meet Caitlin in New York. She mentioned on the phone that she was going to be featured on SNL and wants you there for her nerves. As much as you wanted to be there - that was one you were going to have to miss but promised her you would be watching. Caitlin begged but came out to no avail. You told her if you could you would but there was no way of changing your Sunday flight.
Saturday rolls around and you watch her on SNL. Your heart only breaks a little at the fact that you aren't there to support her in person. This confirmed your decision to follow her anywhere, you never want to miss an event she wants you at. Once the show ends you send her a text telling her how proud of her you are and how excited you are to see her tomorrow. Just one night and one flight until you are back with your girl and her life changes forever.
The first time you see Caitlin in New York is when she is walking the orange carpet. You shoot her a text, knowing she won't see it until she sits down at her table but send it knowing it would bring a smile to her face. After peeking at Caitlin one last time, you text one of her teammates Kate to meet up with her and the others. You were a little nervous as you hadn't met them before. About a minute after you sent the text, you are getting a call from Kate. You find a spot to meet up and end up getting there first.
While you wait you still have a clear view of your girl. She is getting interviewed and the interviewer asks her how many unread messages she has as of now. Caitlin looks down at her phone, going through the process of unlocking it. You see her break out into an immediate smile and you get a ping on your phone. You look down to see Caitlin loved the message you sent her when you got there which read:
[Babe: Hey You 🖤 Go be the women we looked up to as little girls, proud of you babe]
Your name is called and you look up.
"Kate!" You yell as you see her. She immediately pulls you into a hug. You introduce yourself to her and Caitlin's other teammates, hugging each of them.
"We have heard so much about you," Kate says. You laugh and make a joke about how much can really be told in a few days.
The girls just look at you and you give them a slightly confused look. "What?" You say, all hints of joking leaving your tone.
"Caitlin didn't just start talking about you this past week," Jada is the one to break their stares. Kate is the one to continue, "You have been a part of the conversation since we first met Caitlin freshman year." Kate pats your back as her words settle in.
You all walk in and find your seats. You have a clear view of where Caitlin is sitting with her family. You make a mental note to find them after all of this, they were as much your family as your family is to her.
The night begins and you know you don't need to stomach the nerves for long. She has the number one spot in the draft with the Indiana Fever having first pick. Your heart races as the commissioner comes out to start the night...
You are lying in bed with Caitlin on the night before your graduation. Her head is on your stomach as she plays with one of your hands while the other runs through her hair. You both are just enjoying the company of one another.
"Are you ready to live out our childhood dream?" You ask breaking the long-standing silence.
"I am ready knowing you will be there - cheering in the crowd," she says as she taps each of your fingers with her own.
"I will always be cheering you on, you know that," you tell her.
She sits up and turns to face you, crossing her legs. You sit up and do the same to face her. She takes your hand again and for the second time since being there with you, she looks down and fiddles with a combination of her fingers and yours.
"What if I always want you in the crowd?" She says eyes not breaking from your hands. "What if I want to take back the time we lost in college and spend it with you now?"
You let out a little laugh. Her head whips up, her eyes immediately meeting yours.
"I am serious babe, I don't want this to pan out the same way it did when graduated high school," she says slightly offended that you laughed. "I meant it when I said, you are it for me."
"Caitlin, you are about to live out your childhood dream, our childhood dream. You are ranked number one and I have absolutely no doubt the Indiana Fever will choose you. This will be the beginning of your rookie season and the whole world is cheering you on. I know you love me, and believe me when I say I love you more than anything in this world..." you say going to continue when she cuts you off.
"Come with me," she says as tears begin to form in her eyes. "Come to Indiana with me, be with me. No more hiding, no more being part, it will be you and me against the world. Don't look for jobs in Iowa, look for jobs in Indiana. We will find a place to live and we can be together. We could build a home, get a dog, and make a life for the two of us. Something we should have done 4 years ago. I don't want to do this without you. Please don't let me do this without you."
You take in every word she says, hanging to them as if they are providing you the oxygen you need to breathe. Just as you are about to respond, she continues.
"Marry me," she says. You have never seen Caitlin as serious as she is right now. "Marry me and let's build a life together."
You knew that was her Hail Mary. You two have only talked about marriage once or twice when you were in high school and how it may or may not be in the cards someday and either way you would be happy. You were the one who wanted to get married and she said she could live without it, but for you, she would happily give you your dream wedding.
"Caitlin," you say with a deep sigh. Her eyes pleading with you to see it from her side, to see how much she needs you.
"I am not going to marry you," you say and you can almost hear her heartbreak. You quickly continue. "I am not going to marry you right now. Being your wife is my dream, Caitlin. That became my new dream when basketball was no longer in the cards for me. It was in high school and it is still today but you do not need to go into this next season of life thinking about a wedding."
Her heart sinks.
"But once we move to Indiana and we get settled in," you say, as tears begin to fall down her eyes. "You will settle into your team and I will find a job that allows me to be the support you deserve. We will get a dog and we will build a home and then, then you can ask me to marry you."
She jumps up and tackles you into the bed. Her sobs of joy ringing in your ears as she squeezes the life out of you. You held her and let her feel all she needed to feel, knowing this was a lot for her. You two start talking about the life you want to build and the home you want to create. You talk all about what this new life will hold. The two of you talk too much you end up dreaming of the perfect life.
"With the first pick in the 2024 WNBA draft, the Indiana Fever select - Caitlin Clark," the commissioner announces.
You go wild for your girl as her Iowa teammates do the same. Caitlin stands to hug her family. She then makes her way up to the stage. She takes the photos with her draft pick jersey. You continue to stand and clap for her, tears of joy streaming down your face. You are so incredibly proud.
As Caitlin walks down, her eyes search for something in the crowd, more like someone. She finds you in the crowd and makes a beeline to you.
Her smile is radiant as she steps up to you. You open your arms to embrace her for a hug but she has a different idea in mind. Her hands grab your face as she brings your lips to hers.
Butterflies soar in your stomach as Caitlin kisses you with such purpose and love. It was the kind of kiss that if the two of you weren't in a public space would lead to so much more than just a kiss.
You have to pull away before you take her arm and drag her to the nearest restroom. You pull her into a hug and whisper in her ear, "Hey Indiana, here we come."
AN: Here it is! My dream is to make this a trilogy but part 3 most likely won't be making an appearance for a while as I have other thoughts I'd like to see play out. Please let me know what you think! And as always, thank you for your love and support 🤍
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