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bitterkarella · 2 months

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Midnight Pals: Dogs

Clive Barker: now everyone i want you all to welcome a real scary story by dodie smith Poe: um clive Poe: is this really appropriate Barker: oh yeah trust me this is gonna be REAL scary Barker: for dean Poe: are you doing this to torment dean Barker: whaaaat Barker: i would never

Dodie Smith: submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the woman who kidnaps dogs Dean Koontz: what?! Koontz: you guys Koontz: you know I like scary stories Koontz: but you didn't tell me it was gonna be THIS scary

Barker: ahh poor dean, is this too much for you? Barker: i guess you could just go to bed and leave this one for the big kids Koontz: n-no Koontz: no i can take it King: that's the spirit dean King: you can do it

Dodie Smith: so there's this woman who kidnaps dogs Koontz: that's fine, i can handle this Smith: because she wants to skin them for a coat Koontz: guysssss Koontz: guyssss i hate thisss Barker: ah ha ha Poe: oh really clive this is too much

Smith: so the important thing is there's this guy mr dearly Smith: now the government lets him live tax free for life cuz he solved a really hard math problem King: King: uh King: i don't think that's the way that works

Smith: no no that's legit i checked Smith: that's how we do it in the UK King: King: clive? Barker: That doesn't sound right, but I don't know enough about math to dispute it

Smith: so anyway mr dearly marries this woman Smith: and his dog marries her dog Smith: also they both have nannies Koontz: do the nannies also get married? Smith: haha of course not dean they're both ladies Smith: nanny butch and nanny femme are just really good platonic friends

Smith: but there's a problem Smith: the dearlys adopt ANOTHER dalmatian, perdita Smith: and this dog Smith: is NOT married Barker: and that's a problem huh? Smith: OF COURSE IT'S A PROBLEM Smith: you can't just have this dog slutting it up around town!

Smith: so the married dogs, pongo and missus, go on a merry adventure to save their puppies from the insane woman who wants to skin them for a coat Smith: and when the adventure is over Smith: they need to buy a bigger house to home all their 97 puppies

Smith: luckily mr dearly solved another problem to help the government pay its taxes Poe: wait why does the government have to pay taxes Smith: oh we do things differently in the UK Poe: yeah, evidently

Smith: perdita's original owners come back Smith: and the dearlys are afraid that they'll want perdita back Smith: but they're all "oh we didn't actually like her all that much, you can keep her" Koontz: wait someone doesn't like a dog? Koontz: this is breaking my immersion

Smith: but then some other people come by and they have a dog too Smith: and it turns out that this is perdita's dog husband! Smith: and these people are all "oh, i guess you can have this dog" Smith: "you know, since they're already dog married"

Smith: oh also the dearlys get a cat Smith: the cat also gets married Barker: christ why are all these animals getting married Smith: what, you want them living in sin? Koontz: yeah clive you want them living in sin?? Barker: i just Koontz: that would be immoral clive!!! Barker:

Smith: anyway then everyone is matched up in a nice monogamous, hetero-sex pair Smith: just the way it should be! Piers Anthony: yeah yeah now THAT'S the way you end a story!

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #dodie smith #piers anthony

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thoughtkick · 4 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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thehopefulquotes · 2 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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perfectquote · 3 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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resqectable · 2 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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quotefeeling · 6 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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missinyouiskillingme · 1 year

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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perfeqt · 3 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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surqrised · 8 months

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It’s odd how different a house feels when one is alone in it. It makes it easier to think rather private thoughts…

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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quotemadness · 2 years

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith

#Dodie Smith #quotes #quote #lit #literature

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90smovies · 2 months

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#101 Dalmatians #Glenn Close #Stephen Herek #Dodie Smith #John Hughes #90s

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bitterkarella · 2 months

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Midnight Pals: Dogs 2

Dodie Smith: i've got another story about pongo and missus King: ah do the dogs go on another fun adventure? Smith: no this time aliens put all humans to sleep and give dogs psychic powers King: Lovecraft: Barker: Poe: Koontz: WOWWWW Koontz: BEST STORY EVER!

Smith: ok so all humans are catatonic now and there's only psychic dogs Smith: and the dogs think 'oh i bet cruella de vil is behind this' Smith: 'we should go murder her' Smith: 'like, we should just go fucking murder her' Smith: 'put a fuckin bullet in her head'

Smith: but the dogs find out that cruella de vil isn't actually behind it Smith: so that puts a crimp in their plan to murder her Smith: then sirius the dog star comes to earth Smith: like the literal star

Smith: you know, he has the super power to appear as any dog breed Koontz: [sullenly] i wish i had that power Frank Belknap Long: dean remind me to talk to you after the story's done Koontz: no i don't want a fursuit, i want to do it for real!!

Smith: so sirius the dog star is all 'god i'm so lonely, i wish i had a dog' Smith: 'i wish i had ALL the dogs' Smith: 'would you dogs like to come live with me in space' Smith: 'like where laika lives' Smith: 'in a big nebula with a lot of space to run around'

Smith: so sirius is all 'dogs of earth, would you like to come live with me in space' Smith: 'WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE??? WHO WANTS TO GO OUT TO SPACE???' Smith: 'WHOS A GOOD BOY??? WHOS A GOOD BOY???'

Smith: sirius is all 'you should all come to space and live with me in space' Smith: 'you'll know true bliss in space' Smith: 'and also you'll avoid complete eradication in nuclear apocalyse' Smith: 'cuz, oh yeah, that's gonna happen btw'

Smith: if they choose to go to space Smith: then all memory of dogs on earth will be erased Koontz: no Smith: no one will remember that dogs ever existed Koontz: NO! Smith: it will be as if earth was always a dog-free planet Koontz: NOOO!!!!!!

Smith: now the dogs of earth have to make a weighty decision Smith: will they go to space or will they stay loyal to their masters? Koontz: oh god oh god Koontz: please say they stay!! Smith: so the dogs decide… Koontz: yeah?? yeah???

Smith: the dogs decide… Koontz: WHAT DO THEY DECIDE!?!?!? Koontz: I NEED TO KNOW!!! Smith: the dogs decide… Koontz: AUGHHHH!!!!!

Smith: the dogs decide to stay on earth because, even though earth is imperfect, it carries the promise that maybe, someday, every good dog can find a home Koontz: b-but they're ALL good dogs! Smith: exactly Koontz: Koontz: whoaaaaaa

King: wow uh King: that's some story King: not what i expected Barker: oh that's british kids lit for you Barker: it's all bonkers Roald Dahl: ee hee hee Barker: i mean Barker there ya go Barker: case in point

King: really? all of it Barker: oh yeah trust me [meanwhile] Beatrix Potter: my story is mr thumpybunny minds the shop Enid Blyton: my story is Giggles the happy gnome runs afoul of an irishman JK Rowling: Rowling: you know what i'm going to sssay

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #stephen king #clive barker #edgar allan poe #dean koontz #hp lovecraft #jk rowling #enid blyton #beatrix potter #dodie smith #roald dahl #frank belknap long

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thoughtkick · 11 months

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It’s odd how different a house feels when one is alone in it. It makes it easier to think rather private thoughts…

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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stay-close · 11 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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perfectquote · 9 months

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Perhaps watching someone you love suffer can teach you even more than suffering yourself can.

Dodie Smith, I Capture the Castle

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philosophors · 3 months

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“There is only one page left to write on. I will fill it with words of only one syllable. I love. I have loved. I will love.”

— Dodie Smith

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