#Doesn't he also have BPD?? Like. Yes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

wordy-little-witch · 2 months

Text

Dropping random One Piece ideas bc this is it now. This is how I cope.

Buggy focused bc I love this little blue haired buffoon

Buggy

• AuDHD

• BPD

• gender is a performance and he LOVES THE SPOTLIGHT BABYYYY

• Buggy is actually a year or so younger than Shanks, and they both use this as an insult point for arguments. Buggy calls him old man, Shanks calls him a teeny tiny little clown baby, Buggy punches Shanks, Shanks cries dramatically, the works.

• in my perception between them, their relationship could go either way - I love the interpretation of them seeing one another as brothers, I love the interpretation of them being lovers, I think either one fits them and it's precious and depending on the Shuggy flavor of the day. It's never both at the same time though. One or the other.

• Buggy has always been terrifyingly flexible. It was waved off when he was very little, but it was only around the time Crocus joined the crew that he noticed Buggy was much more flexible than most kids his age. Turns out baby blue has hypermobility syndrome. The Roger pirates helped him learn wrapping techniques to help stabilize his wrists and knees and hips, his biggest problem areas, but after the Devil Fruit Fiasco, he can and will just drop a limb. Floating is so much easier on bad pain days.

• Buggy still wraps and braces his body when he can, but he also hides most of them beneath his clothes. Few have seen him freely in braces. Cabaji and Mohji are the most familiar with that. Ritchie takes his role thereof as a living, furry weighted heating pad.

• kinesthetic and visual stimming Buggy my beloved.

• sometimes he's just. Touch Alvida. Not in a weird way, just... her Devil Fruit makes her skin and hair feel absolutely DIVINE and he can spend hours just. Playing with her fingers or brushing her hair. He's embarrassed by it.

• he has a very meticulous skin and hair care routine. It's one of very few routines he keeps to. Not even being in prison stopped it.

• he's actually really damn good with money and running a business. The situation with the Cross Guild was a Bad Time, Bad Place, Bad Luck situation, which is honestly just his brand at this point.

• He was a warlord for all of a few months, but in that time, he did, in fact, have to attend a few meetings, and he did, in fact, make a friend! A friend nobody ever expected.

• Boa Hancock and Buggy are the most underrated Mean Girls Squad ever and I'll die on that hill, I think they'd be so funny as friends. Ask me more on my Boa Buggy Besties ideas please I am begging I love them so much

• Cross Guild happens, and it goes fairly similar to Canon, but Buggy quite literally within that three week time frame got the entirety of his loan back AND the interest and was like "hey so like. Did you still want this or-?"

• the mercenaries at Karai Bari are all very progressive. Buggy is a lax ruler, by most standards, but he puts his foot down firmly regarding bigotry, racism, sexism, etc.

• Buggy is not actually human, but he doesn't know that. He was orphaned at a VERY early age, was adopted by Roger pretty young, and he doesn't really remember much pre-piracy. He does know his genetics are a little weird, #ThanksCrocus, but not much beyond that. This may be Important later on if anyone wants some silly little concepts

• demisexual nblm, but once he catches feelings, he becomes a harlot harlequin

• once took off a limb and forgot where he left it. Has genuinely devoted microchipping his limbs.

• some people have comfort activities like hiking or painting. He makes bombs. It's very soothing and he likes the BOOM

• has a multitude of explosives btw; everything from large range, highly damaging, lethal weapons, to flashy, mildly inconveniences. He once made a batch of mini muggy balls full of itching powder just to see if he could and now it's his favorite thing to prank people with. ((Yes, he designed those while a Warlord. Yes, he tested it on the Navy. No, he was never definitively caught.))

• when he's busy, he ties his hair in a bun and puts pens, pins, etc in his hair, ends up looking like a porcupine or sea urchin.

• he has a really bad habit of hyperfixating for hours upon hours on end. Galdino, Alvida, Mohji and Cabaji have a rotation system to check on him if he hasn't been seen for 5 or more hours. They'll drag him away from his work (some more gently than others), make him eat, drink, etc. ((Alvida huffs and puffs about it, but she's also among the first ones to wipe a grease smear from his face, look him over head to toe and determine whether she's pulling the Girls Night card. She will die before admitting that she adores this bastard.))

• Buggy is allergic to pineapples.

That's all I got rn okay ily byyyeeee

#buggy the clown #buggy headcanons #one piece headcanons #buggy pirates #audhd buggy #bpd buggy #i have a terrible fixation on clowns #Buggy and Boa #shuggy #shanks and buggy

77 notes · View notes

kanmom51 · 10 months

Text

JK's live 30 June 2023 12:38 am KST

30.6.2023 12:38 or 00:38 KST

cr./to the creators of the media used in this post.

Before I start talking about the live itself and Seven, of course, let's look for just a second, again, for the fun of it, at the numbers.

12:38 or 00:38 is the time JK started the live.

Do you see what those 2 numbers give us? Side by side?

1 2 3 and 8 and then 3 and 8. Does that help?

123

and

8/11

Do I think he did this on purpose? The 123 yeah, I see that. But the other part, nah? Just a usual lovely stars aligning Jikook coincidence I guess, lol.

Oh, and we also have 12:38 that gives us a 2+8=10 and the 1 and 3 that give us the 13, so:

13/10

So, not too too much happened during the live. JK came, talked a little tiny bit about his upcoming single, working on an album and a little more too, worked out, was his own cute self and dipped.

That was that in a nutshell.

Now let's dive in a little deeper.

JK talked about Seven. Well, telling us it's coming out on the 14 July and that he's excited about it.

There is an album in the works, but not finalized just yet.

Oh, and the MV, it's a wrap, and was fun. Now I'm truly curious.

I did talk about the song not being written by him in my previous post. He heard it with BPD and said he wants to do it a lot. His words.

He heard it, he liked it, he wanted to do it. Not personal, not a life story.

Doesn't mean the lyrics didn't 'speak' to him in a sense. Didn't mean something to him. You can feel connected to a song that isn't written by yourself. But it is something to keep in mind when we hear the song, watch the MV and see the lyrics, lol.

Just side tracking here for a sec to this:

CP says it's sooooo good. I'm gonna trust him on this.

Question I have right now is: Is JM becoming JK's spoiler king?

JK misses Jin and Hobi.

He got a new lip piercing.

What I love about that man is that he's so aware. He knows there are those that do not approve (you know, those idiots that think they have ownership over him or a right to tell him what to do). And yet, he doesn't give a shit. He wanted it, he did it. If they want to accept it they will, if they don't sucks for them. And the thing is that when he says it, he does it so nicely and respectfully. I LOVE IT!!!

He told us he's taking English lessons.

As a matter of fact, he had one just before starting the live.

Funny how both JK and JM seem to be studying English at night.

Remember this?

You know, must be one of those Jikook coincidences.

Nah. Fuck that. They are studying English together. Period.

JK talks about doing intermittent dieting, so he bought snacks but can't eat them just yet.

JK wanting to share but blanking out, lol.

Well, he didn't give us a spoiler, but we did get the next best thing, lol.

We get full JK workout.

Gotta love army edits (some at least, lol)

Poor baby hurt himself.

That was quite a workout.

Well, working out can be alone or together. There are many forms of working out... Does he really want us to wonder all of that?

The duality of this man.

And then.

I absolutely adore that JK has no problem what so ever that we see him like this. No makeup, every hair possible out of place, tired, sleepy, drunk, sad, happy, just bare.

He trusts us to see him bare.

Writing those lines, that sentence, idk why, it brings tears to my eyes.

He's not afraid to be himself. Take it or leave it. Yes, he plays the part of the idol, but he isn't afraid to show us him, a real human being just like us (just way prettier and sexier and more talented and more intelligent and in better shape), as much as he can under the circumstances of being an idol and a celebrity.

How can we not LOVE this young man?

JK ending the live.

So, not so much going on during this live.

I wrote this post based on the translations available. Of course I will watch the live translated and come back with corrections if be needed.

This to me felt more like a scheduled live for him, less one he just wanted to do, to keep connected with us or to convey a message that doesn't have to do with his own promotions (you get what I'm saying). And it makes sense it was pretty much scheduled, given the announcement of his single release. But who cares? We got us some cute ass JK. Just seeing him warms my heart. I assume it has the same effect on you.

I'll leave you with an amusing take on JK's live.

#Jungkook #JK #JK live #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook #Jimin #JM #JJK1 is coming #JK Seven

182 notes · View notes

alostlittleriverlotus · 4 months

Text

not in a good mood cause my friend's boyfriend is dealing with his abusive mom. And after a recent issue they had of her verbally abusing him, he found out about narcissistic abuse and ow. Ow. Thing is, he's autistic/adhd and has BPD and DID. I just. I fucking hate how easy it is. He repeated that "autistic and adhd people attract narcissists."

NO!!!!! Luckily he's very open minded and chill and is trying to understand when my friend tells him. But still. The fact that someone with equally demonized disorders and BPD which can be very commonly comorbid with NPD and then demonizes narcissists cause of how widely available that information is hurts. Just...no. Just no.

That is how easily accessible the information on "narcissists" is. He learned about it that easily when that ableism stems from the same place as the rest of hatred of mental health. There are people that believe you can't be in a relationship with someone with ADHD without it being emotionally abusive. People think meltdowns from autistic people are intentional emotional abuse. There are people that still believe that stuff.

It is so important for the rest of the mentally ill to not fall into this hole of demonizing narcissists. That ableism stems from the same place that ableism against autistic people and depression and anxiety and all stem from.

Narcissism doesn't make someone more likely to abuse. They do not have unique patterns of abuse. It is just abuse. It is emotional abuse, verbal abuse, mental abuse. Just because someone that may have NPD is abusive does not make it narcissistic abuse. And also: if your abuser, especially if you are genetically related to them, has NPD then that raises the chance YOU would have NPD. It doesn't guarantee it, but personality disorders are a mix of trauma and genetics.

Anyone with any disorder can be abusive. People without disorders can be abusive. The majority of abusive people most likely don't have a personality disorder. It's the same as assuming that "all serial killers are schizophrenic" which is something my brother said to me recently. It's the same as believing all criminals are "psychopaths" when that just isn't true.

Anyone with or without disorder or neurodivergency has the ability to abuse and hurt others. A lot of the time, abusers may be just neurotypical. Narcissists aren't more likely to abuse than anyone else. Their disorder does not make them abusive. Any disorder can affect their treatment of someone.

I have dealt with many people who used their depression as a way to abuse me. It does not make it depression or depressive abuse. The disorder is irrelevant, the abuse is not.

If you lump in narcissists with abusers, you are lumping in other people that have been abused and traumatized with their abusers. I have been compared to a rapist, to a child sex offender, to a serial killer for being a narcissist. I have seen people saying to kill every narcissist since it would be better for people. I have been told I am lying about my abuse and actually my abusive ex boyfriend didn't abuse me, *I* abused *HIM.*

Narcissistic abuse does not exist. It is not a different or unique pattern. It is not "different than NPD cause the word narcissist existed before NPD" (when it is heavily associated with NPD and many resources say it is about NPD.) It is not a special type of abuse done by people with NPD. It is bullshit. You don't need "narcissistic abuse" to be able to understand your own abuse. Narcissists are not everywhere and looking to harm you. It keeps you scared and traumatized. It is not healing, it is not helping.

I'm just so upset cause my friend's BF is such a cool dude and I have faith he will learn over time, but it was so triggering. I split so fucking bad. So yes. Here's my rant and the reminder that: Narcissistic abuse is bullshit and just demonizes people with NPD and the mentally ill and people they often claim are narcissists aren't and are just privileged and entitled and shitty people and often have to do with more systemic problems that are normalized and accepted by society rather than, you know, icky mentally ill person.

Oh and btw. If you're gonna fight at all on this, just block me. Either you can listen and learn or not. If you're in the "not" section, just leave. You'll just be blocked anyway. Because I'm not here to have it justified why it's okay to say narcissists are abusive when I am literally a narcissist and this shit has literally worsened me to the point of wanting to die. Fuck off. We are mentally ill people. Some people with NPD being abusive does not make us all abusive. You would never say the same for any other disorder so why say it for us? If you wouldn't say it about autism, depression, OCD, or any other literal mental illness then do NOT say it about us. There are people out there who DO still say that about those disorders. Who DO believe that a disorder makes you inherently abusive. Is that who you want to side with? Cause it's the same fucking logic. Narcissistic abuse is purely pop psychology and popularized by the mainstream rather than even being a real term. Yes, psychologists and other professionals can be wrong and can be ableist too.

I've said my piece. Narcissists and anyone else demonized whether your disorder is widely demonized or not, I love you. A lot of disorders have become more infantilized rather than demonized these days, but there are people out there that still see every mentally ill person as evil. No matter what kind of ableism you face for your disorder, you deserve love and care and support, not to be treated more like an object than a person. And no matter what, no matter how good or bad, You. Deserve. Help. You deserve to be able to have access to help without any bullshit.

74 notes · View notes

stephaniebrownslover · 6 days

Text

Guys I have an idea.

What if I made Jeff The Killer like BoJack Horseman???

Guys don't leave please guysssssss it's so dark hereeeee

Okay now that I think about it, I'll ramble about this a bit.

Either I'm on to something or on something.

Also BH characters as creepypasta characters random BoJack Horseman dialogues as Jeff under the line and how other pastas would react.

And the only Jeff portrait I like is @jeffthekillerzblog 's Jeff because he's like a real life :3

THEIR FIRST TWO LETTER IS SAME THEY'RE THE SAME

...

GUYSSSSSSS TOBY AS TODD JUST IMAGINE

Lol just kidding but I think Toby and Todd would actually get along. Like they would just chill around and build random shit and talk about nonsense stuff. Their silly goofy traits are kinda similar so they would understand each other most of the time. Great minds think alike.

Okay okay let's talk about Jeff Horseman stuff before drifting away the topic.

First of, I think BoJack Horseman is not a character do defend. Yes, he tries to fix his mistakes but it was too late for him. He needed to change before all the shit happened. He needed to go to rehab or therapy before.

I'm not saying it's all his fault but just look at Diane. She had her own trauma and even though she was feeling bad most of the time, she wanted to get better. She worked for it in time instead of BoJack.

Yes, BoJack is a traumatized character but Todd was right about "You can't keep doing shitty thing and then feel bad about it!" because BoJack did this always.

Now back to Jeff. He has a similar trait with BoJack. I think Jeff has BPD most likely and he has serious anger issues. That's not a good mix as you can guess. It causes him to make mistakes and hurt people he actually gives a shit about and even though this makes him feel bad later, he won't do anything about it.

He wants to change, he wants to apologize from Jane and Nina and Liu. He wants to be a better person. He hates this life he build but he's been in this hell so long that he doesn't know a way out. He thinks it's too late for him and for treatment after all the people he killed and hurt.

Just like BoJack but in a different way.

BoJack hurts people close to him mentally and Jeff hurts people close to him both mentally and physically.

They both doesn't want to live their life and they would rather be like anyone else does.

They would hate each other if they met because they would see the other as a mirror. Or something like they could be in an another universe. And this would scare them as hell.

Jeff might be a surface character but I think that's because of his creator portrays him. I have like/hate relationship with him because of how badly he portrayed in almost every work.

He was not a pure evil monster, he was a 13 year old kid with untreated mental issues and body trauma. And no one was there to teach him this was not right since this motherfucker is very stubborn and he killed everyone who could.

Both of them doesn't want to die no matter how shitty their life can became. They want to live. They want to see the next day even though they would hate it. They think they deserve to live after all the things they had gone through.

They want to believe that they have a chance for redemption without caring about their past mistakes.

Also if Jeff would be an animal, he thinks he would be a wolf but he'd actually be a horse. That's like his spirit animal.

Take random BoJack dialogues as Jeff and other pastas' reactions to that.

...

Jeff: Rehab was supposed to be a fresh start. But no matter how many starts I get, there's always the same ending. Everything falls apart, and I end up alone.

Clockwork: Then get a new life man, this shit is not that hard.

Jeff: Shut up bitch! I'm having a moment here!

...

Jeff: Same thing that always happens. You didn't know me. Then you fell in love with me. And now you know me.

Nina: Eat shit and die asshole. You ruined my life.

Jeff: Fucking let me apologize whore!

Nina: Okay. I'm gonna kill this bastard. Don't hold me!

Kate: No one's holding you.

Nina: I said don't hold me!

...

Jeff: I'm the one who has suffered the most because of the actions of Jeffrey Woods.

Jane: What about Liu or Nina or even me?

Jeff: Nah, Liu's fine and he hates you.

Liu: No, I don't.

Jeff: He doesn't know what he's saying. And Nina loooves me.

Nina: No I don't!

Jeff: She's high on my awesomeness.

Jane: Shup the fuck up you dumbass.

...

Jeff: There's gonna be plenty of people around when I kill myself!

Masky: Not me.

Hoodie: Nah, I'll be there to celebrate.

Jeff: I hate all of you.

...

Jeff: Really makes you think, though, huh? Life, right? Goes by, stuff happens. Then you die.

Toby: W-who the hell are you?

Jeff: Yeah, you're right.

Toby: I am?

Jeff: Nah.

Toby: Of cour-se I am.

Who wants part 2 for incorrect quotes??

29 notes · View notes

cherryechogalaxy · 18 days

Text

No one's talking about how incredibly BPD coded Insomniac Harry/Venom is so I will. This is also essentially an essay so be prepared

I would also like to preface this by saying that this is based on my experiences with having BPD and the diagnostic criteria in the DSM-5

Peter is 100% Harry's favorite person. I mean look at him. The way that he makes every excuse to be around Peter so much so that he practically begged him to work at his company? The passive-aggressive "So you told MJ, but not your best friend?" when he learned that Peter was Spider-Man? And then insists that he work with him as a superhero to kinda push Miles out of the way? The entire high school flashback scene? Not to mention that Harry held Peter in high regard even before he learned that he was Spider-Man.

Also, remember that the symbiote only emphasizes thoughts and emotions that already exist. So when Harry's probably splitting on Peter about the whole Spider-Man thing, the anger is only amplified by Venom.

Now, before y'all say that "all this only happened after Harry got the symbiote," that is simply false. During the final fight with Venom, Peter says that he "came over every single day after school. Even slept over after [his] mom got sick." While yes, Harry not being able to "see her like that" was a component afterward, that doesn't explain Harry's attachment to Peter beforehand. I would also like to comment that Venom says that Harry's mom "always said" that Peter and Harry "make each other better." This is all theoretical, but she might have noticed that Harry's mood or behaviour might have become more outwardly stable or better when around Peter, which from my experience is something that happens when existing around (or even sometimes thinking about) your FP.

Because, at the moment, Harry can only focus on the rage he has toward Peter, he can only think about the bad things, as evidenced by Venom claiming that Peter was there "Until [he] got sick again," which is objectively not true, but BPD alone can exaggerate thoughts to extremes, and the symbiote on top of it makes it worse. Venom continues, "You abandoned us when we were fighting for our lives," and that it didn't feel like Peter was trying to save them when he was. One of the main symptoms of BPD is an intense fear of abandonment, so much so that the person will take extreme measures to make sure that that doesn't happen, such as leaving before they are hurt, or, in this case, hurting the other person first so abandonment seems justified and therefore hurts less.

In the second phase of the fight, Venom declares: "We know what's best for you! For everyone! We gave you everything you ever wanted." This likely has something to do with BPD affecting one's self-image, which may change from 'the most worthless scum of the Earth' to what I like to call 'I can fight God and win.' As Venom, Harry believes that he now has the power to "heal the world" all by himself, enhancing his temporary superiority complex. Only several lines later, however, Harry's unstable self-image flips from 'knowing best for everyone' to 'being a complete failure,' because Venom states, "We've never been good enough for you... or Dad."

Venom goes on to say that Peter "threw [them] away" and then "replaced [them] with Miles. He poisoned [Peter] against [them] even more." Again, this characterizes Harry's intense fear of abandonment, because 'if Peter spends more time with Miles, then he won't have time for him anymore, and therefore matter to him anymore and he'll be left alone.' (These are thoughts I've had on bad days when my FP spent time with other people)

When Peter tries to fight Venom's claims and says that Harry's his best friend, the exaggeration and impulsive thoughts continue, and he says "Then why don't you trust us?" Again, Harry can only think in the negative at the moment, so he fails to see anything good that Peter is doing for him or the emotions that Peter is feeling.

During the cutscene after the second phase, when Peter says that he's "never gonna heal the world with [Harry]," you can see Venom falter, sighing and looking down before the meteorite catches his attention and distracts him.

At last, during the third phase of the fight, Venom turns his attention to Miles, the person who he sees as having caused Peter to 'turn against him' and spend less time with him. He insists that "[his] future doesn't belong to [Miles]," insinuating that Harry should be the one to have a deep and lasting relationship with Peter, not Miles, even though Miles thinks that he's talking about 'healing the world.'

After the third phase when Venom throws Miles aside and buries him under rubble, he tells him and MJ: "Peter doesn't need you anymore... He has us now." because he thinks that he is all Peter needs, when in reality it's Harry that needs Peter, though he might not realize it.

In the fourth phase, he asserts to Miles: "You took him away from us!" Which is strangely familiar to something I said when my FP started spending time with another person.

Another small thing I would like to note, when flying away after the fourth phase, Venom deliberately throws Miles off him, but not Peter. Also, when Miles is falling down with the meteorite in his hands, Venom focuses his attention on grabbing and eating him rather than retrieving the meteorite.

When Peter finally has Venom pinned to the ground and tries to blast the symbiote away from Harry, he claims that he's done and that he can't fight it, then both Harry and Venom state, "You have to KILL us." BPD is also characterized by suicidal ideations or behaviours, and if Harry telling Peter to kill him isn't suicidal behaviour then I don't know what is.

Finally, when Venom is gone and Peter tells Harry that he loves him, Harry smiles what looks like a genuinely content and satisfied smile, like that was the only thing that Harry wanted or needed to hear before he could let himself fall unconscious.

And if that’s not BPD coded I don’t know what is.

#harry osborn #venom #insomniac spider man #insomniac harry osborn #spider man 2 #spider man #harry osborn venom #bpd #actually bpd #bpd headcanon #i will die on this hill #i love him so much #spiderman 2 spoilers #cherry posting

31 notes · View notes

heartsmewbyul · 4 months

Text

/ Fem Floyd , HCs , [Kind of a sketch]

She's soooo silly! >.<

!! [Please avoid liking without reblogging.]

Have some HCs about Floyd's appearance and clothing style. In my heart, she's a fashionista. <3

++ A close-up, a colorless version and some ramblings under the cut. 👇👇

Close-up:

Colorless version:

Now, rambling time:

I have adopted the HC that Floyd & Jade are black with vitiligo from @/artjinkies on Twitter.

Plus, this isn't a genderbend. It's a transfem HC. To me, the Tweels are genderfluid, and go by any pronouns. (I will use He/She for Floyd here.)

Both of the twins have hair on their face and on the rest of their body, but while Jade shaves her face (not any other body part), Floyd doesn't tend to shave all of her face, leaving the small stubble (named goat patch) presented above.

I believe that Floyd would rock a mullet that has a sidecut on both sides, with some shaggy haircut vibes, to give it volume. It's very unruly and wavy, which suits her carefree personality. + The black strand on her right side is natural (much like her canon appearance), but the other black parts on the rest of her hair are dyed. He retouches it every one and a half week (with Jade's help).

I also gave her some fin-like ears, much like his merform, because I like the idea that the transformation potion can't conceal all of his original characteristics. He also has some teal markings on her ears, going to her face.

Going to her eyes- I made one straight up black, while the other is a gold yellow and has a blue ring around her pupil. The sclera of the latter eye is a dull yellow.

He has piercings! I couldn't show them all, and I won't describe all of them either, but trust me, he has a lot. Just not as much as Jade, because she's the piercing girlie.

Her tongue is split in two, for the same reason she still has a fin-like ear. Also, she wears braces, lol.

Floyd has scars from fights under the sea, cuts on fingers from cooking, and from his manic episodes that come from her BPD. Though, the episodes are much better now that he's on medication.

For her style: I think she would take inspiration from Emo Scene, Weird Girl core & Casual YK2 Gothic Punk. (Yes, I know it's a very impactful mix, but it works, trust me.)

Okay, I think that's all of my HCs for now! Thank you if you read it this far. ^^

#cher art #twst #twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland art #disney twisted wonderland #fem floyd leech #floyd leech #twst floyd #floyd twst #fem twst #twst hcs #sketch #art sketch #cher talk #Only at the end though haha.

37 notes · View notes

callsign-bunnie · 1 year

Note

Do you have more backstory for Soap in the restaurant au?

Yes, I do! Here are some of the other characters, too

Soap:

Orphan (as usual)

Has dyslexia and adhd really bad so he dropped out of high school in freshman year

Didn't really have any friends growing up, was kind of a lonely kid, so he's really attached to Gaz, Rudy, and Roach

Struggled with mild drug problems while he was attempting to self medicate his adhd but is clean now

Coffee addiction

Price pays for his medication

Laswell rearranged the entire host system to be more accommodating to his dyslexia

No one comments on how he tweets because this is really good compared to how he started out (except when he spells come like cum)

Practically screamed when Rudy asked for them to get an apartment together

Rodolfo:

Best friends with Alejandro growing up, but was actually not in love with him until they were adults. No reason, just didn't have any interest in that stuff

Didn't mind Alejandro pursuing him, though, because he was explicit he didn't have feelings and he liked the attention

Doesn't have a good relationship with his family

Autistic, struggled to make friends growing up

Actually is fairly nice to nice/neutral customers, just doesn't take shit from the rude ones

Has health issues that are undiagnosed that Alejandro and Soap are begging him to get looked at, but he's adopted an "if I die, I die" mentality

Valeria:

Knew Rudy and Alejandro in high school

Is Bartending to pay for college

Had a very shit childhood, as such is usually high on weed to cope

Shit talks customers in Spanish with Rudy

Has BPD, so has also adopted an "if I die, I die" mindset

The one everyone goes to when they need to vent without judgement because she is not listening

Also I'm adding Koenig and Horangi to the au

#cod restaurant au #valeria garza #johnny soap mactavish #soap cod #rodolfo cod #rodolfo parra #valeria cod #call of duty #call of duty: modern warfare ii #headcanons

172 notes · View notes

driftwood-fireflies · 1 month

Note

any billy hcs?

OKAY I'm finly tackling this. lightning round.

I know that the general fandom perception of billy (in a few different circles anyway) is that he's trans, and I DO understand this. however it's not my personal headcanon. if you want to know why it's simply because the idea of him being a chaser is like insanely funny to me so. stu is trans and billy is weird about it. this is my dynamic.

as for sexuality, I've described this to people before, but to me he's bisexual on a technicality. what's that technicality? he REALLY thinks he likes women. like he's convinced himself he does. (he does not.) so like, if anything, he'd consider himself bisexual and so I call him bisexual. but. he's gay. dykwim.

anyway yes billy is a bi chaser and he is down horrible for stu though he can't really show it. I don't know if I even brought this up in my stu headcanons post but I do think they are BOTH autistic and bpd so they're really failmaxxing as a romantic duo

billyboy loomis is the undisputed mommy issues king, I think him and his mom were very close when he was a kid, like almost to the point where she was smothering him, but he loved her and became codependent with her. I think that's a theme for billy - codependency. he grew to be that way with his mom, and since I personally believe that him and stu have been friends since childhood, he also grew a little fascination with him at around the same time. he's always been Weird about stu in a myriad of ways, but the moment his mom abandoned him it was almost guaranteed that his closeness with him would turn into its own codependency. and it did.

I think his family has moved around a lot, only settling in woodsboro when he was maybe eleven or so. that's when he met stu.

I think they were both independently weird freaks of their own nature, as in, billy has always had his horror movie and psychology fascinations, but stu really amped up the crazy for him. like many people, I hc that stu is a big hunter and likely showed billy how to hunt and gut animals, and I even think he introduced him to the more gorey, less plot-centric horror movies that he loves. I also think the buck that they share was stu's initially, who then gave it to billy sometime after his mom left.

as for current day (read: 1996) stuff. a lot of people tend to stereotype stu as The horny one in their dynamic, but idk. they're both teenage boys and if anything, billy was the one trying the hardest to get laid in the movie lmfao. (I know there was an actual reason behind it but I do also think he just wanted to fuck lol) I think they're both raging horndogs and they rile each other up all the time.

we never see anyone but randy with an actual job, but I think billy's done some under the table type work around town. he strikes me as a guy who'd do good at a mechanic shop, or something. nothing too serious, just whenever he needed some pocket change he couldn't swipe from his dad.

as for horror movies... oh man.

billy is a real pretentious guy. he likes horror, he likes thrillers, but he's not as much of a gorehound as stu. that's not to say he doesn't like it - but it usually only interests him when it's the real deal. in terms of movies, he's actually your pretty generic film bro type, in that I think his top three are psycho, silence of the lambs, and the original house of wax. were he alive today, he'd be BIG into the 'elevated horror' genre, I think. think jordan peele and ari aster. overall he's a real snob about it, he can only get into a horror movie if the killer is someone he can idolize and get into the mind of. he's not a fan of monster movies, thinks it's scarier when the monster is just a regular guy. psychological horror is right up his alley, and I think he'd also love candyman for the way it combines artful and intriguing psychology into a more typically 'slasher' narrative.

I could talk about how billy watches horror movies forever but I'll move onto music so this post doesn't become a novel. I think he's big into rock, pretty similar to stu's taste in that regard. I think he'd really love green day, for sure. I also think he'd like the cure and REM, maybe soundgarden, too. he's really into anything moody or brooding in some way. besides rock though, I also think he enjoys older, more classical stuff. I could see him buying a film score cd and listening to it to sleep, or something.

SO. YEAH those are some of my billy hcs.. like I said w stu I have like a million thoughts about both of them that I couldn't possibly include in a single post so if you have any specific questions about stuff I didn't cover .. lmk ^_^

#i am so normal .#asks #headcanon asks #scream #scream movie #scream 1996 #billy loomis

24 notes · View notes

bugs1nmybrain · 2 months

Text

Fem!Shigaraki Headcanons

Turning my f/os into girls is so therapeutic I'm considering even making one-shots. Fml

Warnings: fem reader, fem Shiggy, NSFW (18+) sex stuff!, bras and period kind of talk, most of these don't even apply to a relationship, not proofread

Shiggy as a girlie? What a silly lil gal

Personality-wise she's not different than Tomura, but she may be more prone to sadness because of the differences in social upbringing that girls go through. Male Tomura likely thinks he's too ballsy to cry

Angry cries

But she's feisty and angry

A true femcel

She's still a great gamer and blows away people online when they find out she's a girl because misogyny is very smelly in the gaming community. "Is that a girl in the chat??" Tomura: "Cope with it fuckface."

I think girl Tomura would be very jumpy for some reason. Being startled would be so easy for her. I also mean in general though, like she has a lot of pent-up emotions in her that she has to throw it all out through hyperactivity

Paces around the apartment mumbling to herself when she's stressed

Has no idea how to go about relationships because she feels very insecure. She doesn't see herself as an attractive woman because of all her scars, dry skin, and moles, so she doesn't feel like she has a chance with anyone

She fucking hates fashion media, and seeing some perfect model on a billboard is enough to make her start itching in insecurity

It's actually very easy for her to like someone romantically, but she doubts that they'd ever like her, too, so she just starts being mean and nasty

She's very bitter

She has a voice that many would call a "witchy-bitch" voice, but it's cute esp when she's getting excited about something she's happy about

once you get her to laugh she's all yours

her laugh is so contagious and the whole apartment complex is hearing that

So when she started dating you she feels confused and undeserving. She's very flirty and likes spending time with you but she withdraws for a bit because she gets paranoid that you suddenly hate her and find her annoying

BPD coded

Throws shit when she's angry

And yes, she could just disintegrate stuff, but where's the fun in that?

girl musk

Shiggy would likely be about 5'4 as a girl, and I say this because in many countries the average female height is 5 inches below the average male height, and Shigarki is 5'9.

Before her AFO surgery she looked very weak and thin, but after she starts to fill out more

Her titties are about a smaller C cup before her upgrade and goes up a cup after her upgrade. They sag a bit and have itch scars. She likes wearing push-ups to make her feel more compact (I notice that Shiggy likes tight clothes).

Her ass fills out more after her surgery but not by much, she's kind of petite in that department. Her hip-to-waist ratio will fool you

Her periods are HORRIBLE and I mean DANGEROUS

She's in so much pain!!!

Her cramps are unlike anything because of all the stress she endures and it's just her natural body doing its thing. They're so bad that she pukes and can faint if it's too bad. She has to wear pads because she bleeds very heavily, so tampons aren't doing it

She gets very angry and depressed during this time, and if you poke fun at her and do the "ohoho is it that time of month??" you are dead

please tell her to go take a shower during this time she will stink

Likely has endometriosis and is also definitely anemic because of all the bloodloss and malnutrition

She resembles her female relatives quite a bit; her mom, Nana, her sister, etc.

Sometimes she'll wear eyeliner!! Not always but if she's trying to look nice for a PLF meeting or something she'll put a little wing on her eyes.

nsfw time

She's a switch but loves to bottom

Fucking RAIL her she loves it

The first time you fuck it's likely her first time, and she's soaked so bad that you have to get a towel to clean up all the mess

But actually, you might occasionally need lube if you're using a dildo for her because she gets dry when she's extremely stressed or for no exact reason sometimes

clingggyyyyy

she will hang off of you once you're done and get all sappy about it

"i looove you, you're the only person I'll ever love."

The next morning, "morning, loser"

will bite you

Moans loud

No matter what gender Shigaraki is, Shiggy loves boobies

Will definitely ask you to do very perverse things with her

will ask u to rub boobies together

she is a middle schooler at heart

mommy issues still apply but if she was with a guy daddy issues would come out too

will call you mommy or daddy just to make you mad

She has the widest smile with her crooked chompers but she's so pretty when she's genuinely smiling

#f/os #shigaraki #shigaraki x reader #shigaraki tomura #shiggy #shigaraki tomura headcanons #fem shigaraki #fem shigaraki x reader #shimura tenko

34 notes · View notes

ineffectualdemon · 6 months

Text

My husband is the perfect person to be married to for someone like me who has BPD, or at least for me with my BPD

Because when I get all intense and weird and emotional he's just meh about the whole thing

Like I'll be like: "I'd die for you! I'd kill for you!"

And he's like: "ok I don't really need either from you. I would like a cookie though. Do you want a cookie?"

And at that point I'm kinda left with "...yes I'd like a cookie"

And that's the thing! If you have BPD and someone refuses to match your energy it's kinda embarrassing after awhile? At least for me it is

Especially as I get older. Not just because I have worked hard on myself but because I feel more and more like I'm going: "I am Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way! Bow down before my dark powers" when I'm bringing high intensity and energy when the other person is just calm and not matching that intensity

Which at pushing 40 is just sad so I tend not to do it so much and when it does happen I calm down a lot faster

And btw this doesn't mean he invalidates my feelings or anything. He takes my feelings very seriously but he's also a repressed, autistic, English man so he's just naturally very level emotionally

And when someone is being calm and reasonable and yet still listening to you and your problems the high energy very intense emotional display starts to feel very silly and unnecessary

Again it would be different if he ignored me or belittled me but I'll be over the top emotional and he'll listen and wait and then respond to what I said calmly and with compassion and then I really have no choice but to calm down and respond in kind

Like I can't explain it better than that

He's just so grounded and level that when I'm being all middle-school syndrome style edgy and intense he's just like "well I like you just fine. Do you want some tea?" And that takes the wind right out of my sails

Anyway he's a good dude

37 notes · View notes

gay-disabled-characters-showdown · 11 days

Text

LGBTQ+ Disabled Characters Showdown Round 1, Wave 5, Poll 5

A character being totally canon LGBTQ+ and disabled was not required to be in this competition. Please check qualifications and propaganda before asking why a character is included.

Check out the other polls in this wave and prior here.

Mille Roper-The Arcadia Project

Qualifications:

She has BPD, which is a rarely represented disorder as it is, and is also a quadruple amputee, and she's one of the best characters with BPD I have ever had the pleasure of reading about. She is also canonically bisexual!

Propaganda:

GODDDDDD Millie she is one of my favorite bisexual, borderline, and amputee characters ever and when it comes to bi and BPD rep, she reminds me frankly of myself....I love her so much I need to reread borderline

Wen Kexing-Faraway Wanderers / Tian Ya Ke

Qualifications:

1. The LGBTQ+ part: he is canonically a gay man. (Though he does not identify by this specific word due to being from, yknow, fantasy ancient China, he is very vocal about only having interest in men / not having interest in women.) He is also one half of the main (canon, mlm) couple in the book. 2. Disability part: he has complex PTSD, with dissociative symptoms being most prominent. It's not articulated as clearly as the gay part, but there's a lot of textual evidence. For example, for his bouts of dissociation, he has a clear trigger - thinking or talking about personal loss (mostly his initial traumatic event, brutal murder of his parents when he was a child, but at least once it was fear of losing his partner), - and there's a very distinctive way the author describes it: "far-off gaze", "blank" expression or eyes, being "in a daze"/"dazed" were all words used more than once in those situations. He also exhibits symptoms of depersonalization, especially in contexts of violence. The one that made it click for me was a moment when someone was striking to kill him while he couldn't defend himself, and he was described as being calm "as if the one about to die was not himself", but there are also smaller hints, like several times he is described as 'fighting as if he doesn't notice pain and exhaustion' - which I would not take as evidence on its own, but tied in to other dissociative moments of his... yeah. 3. Last thing, in case you aren't sure PTSD/dissociative disorder should count as a disability, I want to make my argument that it should, as it noticeably impacts the character's quality of life. Both continuously (he mentions, for example, sleep problems/insomnia - that clearly stem from his traumatic experiences) and at specific moments (like that time he started dissociating in the middle of the battlefield, nearly resulting in him getting killed........)

Propaganda:

Okay, imagine a classical Chinese martial arts story. Young orphan meets a mysterious master, who imparts all his knowledge upon him; the boy trains hard and challenges various villains, until making it all the way to the final boss who was behind everything. Now, imagine if, in the very beginning of this story, the final boss accidentally ran into that mysterious master. And became suspicious of him. And began following him under pretense of falling in love with him at first sight. And then fell for him for real. And then they had adventures and also started co-parenting that young orphan.

THAT is the plot of Tian Ya Ke. And the final boss in question? Well, that's Wen Kexing I'm submitting! And yes, Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishu - the aforementioned mysterious master and the main character of TYK - are a canon couple. Wen Kexing in particular is very, ah, out and loud gay. Gay and making it everyone else's problem even. So that's the LGBTQ+ part. (Also they are SUCH a couple. They're so funny! The whole circus! And then they do something and you are like oh yeah right. each of them is a villain of a different story. Good thing they decided to play house instead.) On the disability front, Wen Kexing has mental health stuff - to be specific, complex PTSD with signs of dissociative disorder. I'm not gonna describe his wide array of traumatic experiences on the form because it needs SO many trigger warnings, but the important part is how those impacted him. For example, he mentions having sleep problems/insomnia due to fear. (Which made the fandom lose our shit once we connected it to the earlier moment where he, in a vulnerable state, drags himself to Zhou Zishu's side and falls asleep on his lap. The! Trust! That! Shows!) He also dissociates frequently when thinking/talking about his initial traumatic event. Which is my favorite part of the portrayal of his PTSD because... you know how there's this trend in media with superpowers/magic when the character's trauma response is portrayed through their powers, like their powers going out of control? And TYK went 'yeah, no, when /our/ OP final boss has a ptsd flare up, he just dissociates like a normal person'. (and I, a normal person who also copes by dissociating, was like 'i owe u my life'.) Also, I think it's great that not all of his episodes are plot relevant. Like, in four out of five cases it's just something that happens (the narration / pov character makes note of it), and then the scene moves on - so it feels like a feature of his character, as opposed to a plot devise for creating situations. And the one case where it does happen in an action moment - when Wen Kexing gets revenge on the person responsible for his initial trauma and promptly starts dissociating in the middle of the battlefield, and someone else has to step in to prevent him from getting killed by other enemies - kinda highlights the disability aspect, imo. Like, it shows that PTSD creates barriers for him where a person without it wouldn't have any.

Anything Else?:

1. It's a Chinese novel, so character names are written down with surname first. So Wen Kexing = surname Wen + given name Kexing. 2. There's a live action adaptation of this novel, called Shan He Ling / Word of Honor, but it's uh. well. The portrayal of Wen Kexing's trauma and PTSD in it is. Bad. 'Completely butchered everything I thought was refreshing about it in the novel' bad. (please understand i hate everything about the adaptation and am barely refraining from infodumping about how much I deplore it here) So if WKX makes it into the tournament and none of the images I sent work for u, pls at least don't use the live-action version? He is practically a different character there!

#polls #poll #disabled characters #lgbtq characters #disability #lgbtq #lgbtq dcs round 1 #lgbtq dcs wave 5 #mille roper #the arcadia project #wen kexing #faraway wanderers #tian ya ke #id in alt text

15 notes · View notes

harukapologist · 4 months

Note

Something I noticed about Haruka's change in t2 is that he says he likes the way he is now and supposedly gained more confidence, but the rest of his answers in seasons 2's interrogation are still self deprecating. Saying how no one is like him cause "no one is likehim cause they are all great people, everything (about him) is wrong, etc.". My guess is what he gained wasn't confidence, it was his innocent vote and Muu's influence that temporarily rubbed off on him. Think about it: Muu's personality did a whole 180 when she was voted innocent. She went from being shy and timid to becoming a queen bee which is what her 'true personality' is. Haruka, while he learned to become more social, was still unsure of himself. He couldn't fathom why someone like him was forgiven (what he sings in akaa) but still takes it. But why?

Cause it's what Muu does. They were both given an inch and took a mile

It's pretty clear Haruka is heavily attached to Muu (he even says his current self only exists because of her), but I think Muu influenced him to think that forgiven = what he did wasn't wrong. Since it seems like it is also her own mindset. But before, Haruka knew what he did was wrong and felt remorse, while Muu always thought she was in the right cause (her words: It's your fault for doing horrible things to me)

Also, confident people do not form unhealthy attachments like this and threaten to kts for someone else. Haruka did not gain confidence, he gained temporary relief from someone else

And this isn't to say Muu is abusive or doesn't care about Haruka at all, but it's still so incredibly unnerving to influence someone that's already broken like this

Thank you so much for this. I've wanted to talk about this for a while, I feel like the fandom overlooks just how deeply Muu influenced (and probably continues to influence unless their codependency starts to break in T3) Haruka. Not that shes evil or abusive or anything of the sort, but unfortunately their attachment styles create the most awfully perfectly fitting puzzle piece

Haruka looks down on himself so much, he wants more than anything to be a "smart, strong and interesting person" in his own words. As a result he is constantly searching for someone to latch onto and mirror, trying to create a new identity for himself, because he just doesn't see any part of himself that is worth keeping (BPD Haruka headcanon comes in...) Haruka still believes he's wrong, that he's worthless, but he's desperately looking for any solace albeit temporary or fake. A confirmation bias I think?

Something that comes into mind when proving this point, is that when Muu talked about Kotoko's attacks in her 2nd VD, she mentioned that those who were attacked were "deemed bad people by the Guard" as in they were scary and cruel, but Es, who so kindly believed that Muu wasn't at fault by giving her an innocent verdict, had deemed those people at fault, so they kinda deserved it, in her view. When Haruka was asked about what he thought of Kotoko's attacks, he said something similar, but then we see him in Mikoto's 2022 birthday TL coming to check up on him, showing compassion, wanting to wish him a happy birthday, even though Mikoto was voted guilty in T1, he should be a bad person in Haruka's book as well, but I think that shows he doesn't really believe what Muu was saying, he just doesn't think of his opinions as worthy so he latches onto those of the people he looks up to, the authority figures (Muu, Es) (I could talk about this for a while...). Also, in the newest collab, one of Haruka's lines were "Mikoto-san is a good person" but I'm not sure exactly when in the canon timeline that takes place (as in, before or after T2) (I'M SORRY I JUST HAVE TO BRING UP 0109 SIBLINGS HERE THEIR DYNAMIC IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME)

I do think Muu feels guilt and is just as broken, just in different ways, and she copes with her own issues differently, but I won't go offtopic... but yes I completely agree with what youre trying to say here. That Haruka is largely under Muu's influence, and it's heartbreaking. I often think about how an innocent verdict in T1 without Muu's influence would've helped Haruka gain some actual confidence and maybe even start to develop some sense of identity and independence. When I see Haruka T2, when I listen to his VD, his MV, all I see is... not Haruka. As in, Haruka under someone else's influence, breaking even more. It's not either of their faults, again! But god is this codependency going to take a toll on him for a while.

Like, come on, you can't tell me the boy who gives the most birthday wishes, says that all the prisoners are good people unlike him, says he would forgive everyone but certainly not himself, is a confident, guilt-free person. I don't know if it's just me but even his smile in his T2 sprite feels so... forced...? My poor poor boy.

oops I rambled too much didn't I. but thank you for this ask I hope I'm making sense and I'm so so sorry I took so long to respond eee

#YAY AN ASK!!!!!!!!!#MY FOURTH I THINK? ASK EVER THANK YOU AAAAAAAA #Im so sleepy i wouldve talked more if i was in a better state of mind im sorry eee #but yesyesyesyes the haruka in t2 is absolutely not the true haruka #haruka already appears so detached from himself even in t1 if u think abt it... the EXTENT of how much he hates himself is heartbreaking #bpd haruka real #milgram #haruka sakurai #sakurai haruka #i hope im making sense i get scared of getting attacked when i talk abt muu LMAO #i am but a stressed high schooler

21 notes · View notes

justanotherhh · 4 days

Note

Hi! Love your blog! I have a question:

Maybe it's because I listen to a lot of crime podcasts, but I have never associated psychopathy with being aro and/or ace (despite or maybe because I'm on the aroace spectrum myself?). Is this one of those things where there are people out there equating – I imagine especially aromanticism – with being emotionless? I feel like I've mainly heard the – also horrible – comments of aroace people being "like robots". Then again, I'm not "fully" aroace, nor have I had the need to be super open about it, so I don't pay much attention to this stuff.

Anyway, while I agree that calling Alastor an "evil psychopath" is simplifying things something that frustrates me in parts of the Hellaverse fandom in general....or just fandom in general, tbf...I don't think considering him to be on the ASPD spectrum is incorrect?

Enough rambling and onto my main question: in your opinion, should I always clarify that when I call someone a psychopath and that person also happens to be aro and/or ace, that the two things are not correlated? I don't want to accidentally imply something hurtful/feed into a horrible social mentality. P.S. I want to be clear that I don't want to imply that all people with ASPD are murderers/rapists etc either. Though clearly Alastor is the former. Of course they're not. And I can only imagine how much of a struggle living with such a disorder might be.

hello hello, thank you for the questions. i shall try to be methodical and not rambly (we'll see how it pans out)

yeah there's a big ableist and queerphobic cliché around "emotionless" characters being psychopaths who don't love -- basically it's an oversimplification of psychopathy and often conflates it with being psychotic, and of course, it assumes a correlation both between psychopathy and being evil, and being aspec -- especially the kind that's further down the end of repulsed and loveless and aplatonic -- as being evil (with "love" being the opposite of these things, which, tangent, do have a whooole other post on with this show, because it's done some very fun and potentially future-interesting things on love and sex)

the key here is that aro and/or ace is often never spoken of in narratives when this happens because well... people don't know wtf that is, so it's got that similar flavour to "oh well buffalo bill isn't transphobic, because actually the character isn't trans, the cisgender psychiatrist said so!" (actually... whole other thing on that too, but not on this blog... basically jame gumb is underrated and i root for them every time i watch the movie), but it's the Idea that "love makes you human, and sex is always assumed with love, and if you don't feel those things, it's a clue that you're evil, and the shorthand for that is psychopathic" -- generally the person writing this has never actually researched the words psychopath or psychotic, it's not about being interested in those concepts in characters, it's just a synonym for Bad

and yeah, the "like robots" fully ties into this -- the other side of the coin is aspec people as children, but alastor sooo far doesn't seem to be read this way, although the whole "but if he just discovers how to do Love/Touch/Sex in [insert whatever is wanted for this narrative] he'll become better" does play into some of those tropes too, that there is inherently something mentally ill about being aspec, and that being mentally ill is a sign of Badness (there really is a whole Essay i could do on this, and the general overlap between aspec-writing and trans-writing but! i will resist!), and it's about whether or not the Badness can be cured. if not, he's a psychopath, if yes, it's through normative relationship structures/fundamentally changing the character

it all comes down to actual curiosity -- hc'ing alastor as ASPD is totally fine (i also hc blitzø from helluva boss as BPD) and can open up a lot of doors for interrogation and interest, it's whether someone is using mental health as shorthand for shutting down further interaction with the character (think Psycho's "ah yes, this character is schizophrenic and has mother issues, hence why wearing women's clothing, the end"), or if this allows further play with the character, opens up potential doors, considers the character as rounded, rather than one-note. some aspec people do have a history of trauma or have personality disorders or are autistic, but is someone actually interested in exploring the rich variation of queerness within a character, or are we "explaining it away" as something that's merely a symptom (often one that is imagined to be fixable)

generally, im so into poking at villains and i think alastor is one of the juiciest characters ive had to play with in awhile, mainly because it feels like a lot of his writing is intentional and isn't me deciding to delve into the motivations of [slasher/monster/villain/etc] that doesn't actually exist in the text -- and i think alastor definitely does have some Stuff that could be unpacked from a neurodivergent and mental health perspective, even and including parts of his aroaceness

so in the end, picturing him on the ASPD spectrum and even linking that to aroaceness... I mean, totally chill. al-old-pal does have low empathy, and a pattern of reckless, violent behaviour, and fundamentally views relationships differently from the norm. im making arguments that he hasn't been able to create the kind of intimacy that works for him, except for perhaps with rosie and maaaaybe mimzy and niffty (@creepysora has had some very cool ideas of him connecting in alternate ways that work with his way of being and boundaries), but that doesn't mean he's suddenly More remorseful or empathetic about how his actions affect others

it's about whether or not one is using that as a way of minimising or pathologising aroaceness, and/or as a way of making aspec identities all about self-hatred (and that in turn fuels villainy), and/or generally as an explanation of his villainy as some inherent degeneracy, and/or using the word "psychopath" to mean something completely different from what it actually is... that's when we get into sticky territory

and in the end, it can be hard -- something that's perfectly reasonable to one person, could be crossing a boundary for someone else and we just have to live with that, so don't wait on my blessing, i just think as long as one's caring and curious it's heading in the right direction. i watch a lot of horror, and i can usually recognise when something is well-meaning and something is lazy, and even times when it's the latter i can still find enjoyment (think angela from sleepaway camp -- on the flipside the movie they/them was well-meaning and a complete miss in its final political statement)

i recognise also im bringing up a lot of trans villainy as-example, rather than aspec villainy. that's a. because my special interest is trans horror so go figure and b. because that overlap is soooo real

(another example, not horror unless you're a karate kid 3 truther, is the character terry silver, who is never stated to be aromantic, but whose villainy on the later show cobra kai is intimately tied to an unspecified madness that includes low empathy and... no love, vs all the happily monogamous (het) relationships around him. he's not aromantic, he's not diagnosed with anything, it's not of interest to the story that he may be mentally ill or have PTSD or be aro and possibly loveless or that he may be gay -- because yes, he's coded that way too and that overlap is also real, and a whole other tangent i could go on -- it's just subtext to add to the villainy)

now another tangent, but loosely connected: was reading a transcript of the 1974 TS/TV conference (the first of its kind that was organised in the way it was) -- a series of talks over the course of a weekend discussing trans rights, especially in healthcare, and it fully contained a section of someone saying that "true" transsexuals can be recognised because before they physically transition (into binary genders)... they're asexual. because they hate their bodies so much that they can't feel sexual attraction to others. lot to unpack there, but really in this little conversation as example, what i mean is that the roots of pathologising aspec identities run very very deep, including within the wider LGBT+ community, and since alastor is quite a complex character that has done some very bad things, it's worth really thinking about what headcanoning him as one way or another says about the character for oneself. what does it add? what does it potentially demonise or minimise? what does it allow?

the neat thing about hellaverse is the sheer amount of queer characters meaning we can go beyond "if x character is Bad this represents Every person within this group" but with alastor being (so far) the only character who's not doing the whole love-and-sex game (although i think striker counts in this as well, personally + listen... sir pentious givin' real demi vibes. and if we're looking for a link between trauma and asexuality, well, angel is right there. and, and, and...), it does bear going the extra length to learn about -- especially since a lot of people really don't know that these biases even exist in the first place, which leads to a lot of unthinking perpetuating

i think a good place to start would honestly be: "would this feel like a queerphobic and ableist coding if the character were gay? trans? bi?" not because we're totally over queerphobic writing in general (lol, can you imagine), but as a starting point: are we treating aspec identity in text in a way that makes the idea of being aspec in and of itself degeneracy?

but like. hell yeah villains. hell yeah neurodivergency, mental illness, low empathy, lovelessness, unhealthy coping mechanisms, Bad Mean Queers, cannibalism, and characters you just can't quite suss out. big into a fucked up little guy

how did i do on the ramblyness

#alastor #aroace alastor #hazbin hotel #hh meta #alastor meta #my meta

14 notes · View notes