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#Dolores the snake
elcucurucho · 3 months
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as a dramatic irony enjoyer the doied arc is like a little tasty treat or snack. however as a spiderbit enjoyer every conversation feels as though I am being physically attacked with hammers
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The Snake Who Lived and The Order of The Phoenix
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What if Harry was sorted into Slytherin?
Year 1
Year 2
Year 3
Year 4
Voldemort managed to return to power despite Harry not being a Champion, and he even retained the support of Crouch Junior! Let's see where this goes.
I didn’t really go into detail about Harry’s reaction to the House of Black, because for all we know, he may not have even seen it until this year. Or he may have. But either way, his reaction is the same. It’s alright, the severed elf heads and the screaming racist portrait notwithstanding. Having watched Dobby suffer for years and not having a muggle-born friend who Kreacher regularly insults, Harry might ask Sirius to consider being a bit nicer to him. Remus definitely would too, so they can gang up on him and pressure him into being a better person. Giving small gestures to Kreacher, like letting him keep some of the trinkets they would have otherwise thrown out. Like say, a big gold locket…? Perhaps. And perhaps Sirius won’t kick Kreacher out over the holidays. Hmmm. 
Remus initially hides the copies of the Daily Prophet that smear Harry, but Sirius finds them and it leads to a small argument before they show Harry. Everyone is mad, but regardless of what Dumbledore says, Sirius will never just keep Harry in the dark. For his own good or otherwise. 
I’m really not seeing how The Dementor attack can even happen here. Even during the time that Harry spends at Privet Drive, Sirius would be there as Padoot. The Dursleys are likely confunded or fed some kind of calming potion so that they accept the big doggo, but the point is that if Harry went out for a walk, Sirius is likely to be with him. Voldemort can’t do anything because of The Blood Wards, but Umbridge is going to have to get more creative. Or is she…? Okay, I have a solution. Harry is still training in Animagery, right? Suppose he successfully completes his training this summer? And when I say that, I mean he and his guardians manage to brew the potion and he takes it. As for his form, I mean…probably just a Stag. I see no reason to deviate from that. So yeah, he turns into a Stag. He has no plans to register, and that, my friends, will be his undoing. The Ministry conducts a bogus raid on the House of Black and likely finds (or plants) enough evidence for them to bring Harry in on suspicion of being an unregistered Animagus. Might seem like I’m reaching a bit, but honestly, they’re reaching too. Umbridge and Fudge were always going to find a way to put Harry on Trial/try to have him expelled, The Patronus was just how they did it in the original timeline. With that in mind, the “how” is secondary here. 
The problem then becomes everything else they have on him. So yeah, in this timeline, The Hearing… It doesn’t go well. I just can’t imagine the Wizengamot voting in majority to clear Harry of all charges, not with the record he’s accumulated. Even with Dumbledore there to stir the pot, I see Harry getting convicted, and expelled from Hogwarts. Well holy shit, talk about a Butterfly Effect, am I right? Now relax, because Dumbledore isn’t going to take this lying down, but for the time being, Harry is in serious trouble. One plus side is that he runs into Lucius Malfoy as in the original timeline (he was lurking outside the trial to begin with) and guess what? He’s able to pass Lucius a book that contains a sock, telling him the book belongs to Draco. Like the fool that he is, Lucius passes the book to Dobby, and even though Harry’s scar prickles in the passage, he seizes his chance, telling Dobby to check inside. This causes a scene at the Ministry, which is an added benefit as he made Lucius look like the fool that he is, though a lot of the Ministry officials who witnessed this feel that Harry was dirty and underhanded - again, they don’t see anything wrong with House Elf enslavement. 
So here’s a major problem: It seems to be tradition (or a rule, who knows) that students who get expelled from Hogwarts then have their wands destroyed as part of the process/punishment. It was done to Hagrid, and it was threatened to be done to Harry in the OG timeline. (Not sure if it was done to Newt.) I don’t know why the Ministry can just do this, as it’s not like the wands are school property or anything, and being expelled from school isn’t the same thing as losing your ‘license’ to practice magic…or I guess maybe it is? God, they live in a society. But see, that’s the problem: Harry’s not going to turn his wand over, especially if he’s not allowed to just get another one - and that seems to be the rule, otherwise why would Hagrid have to keep using the concealed, broken pieces of his first wand?
I can see this evolving into a whole altercation. Ministry officials show up to do it, and Harry refuses to relinquish his wand. Sirius and Remus step in between Harry and the Ministry goons, who drop some lines about asking Sirius if he’d like to go back to prison. Just then, a letter arrives from Dumbledore, revealing that The Ministry has agreed to allow Harry to return to Hogwarts on a trial basis, but he’ll have to have a Supervisor who determines if he’s behaving himself. He’ll be constantly monitored and one toe out of line will lead him right back to door number one. Hey guys. Guys. Guys. Guess who his Supervisor is. I bet you already know, and I bet you’re all groaning. That’s right, it’s the hopping, giggling toad herself, Dolores Umbridge. Oh, Harry is in for hell. And given how Draco is a Prefect as well, and therefore also in charge of him? Oh, by the end of this year, Harry’s going to wish he had just turned his wand over in the first place. 
But here’s a wrinkle. If she’s Harry’s Supervisor, she can’t exactly teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, can she? Hey, guess who has an idea! I have an idea. The new Educational Decree permits the Ministry to select a teacher for Dumbledore, but only if he fails to find one himself. But Sirius is not happy about the idea of Umbridge shadowing Harry everywhere he goes and making him miserable. Would Professor Black please stand up? Yep, that’s right, he’s going to volunteer to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, (despite both Remus and Harry being wary of the jinx) and Umbridge and the Ministry will hate it. But what can they do? He’s been cleared of all charges, and Fudge is regretting the hell out of that. 
The Weasleys would, at some point, come to stay at Grimmauld Place like they did in the OG timeline, because Sirius still volunteers it as a base of operations for The Order. But I’d say that overall, he’s in a much healthier mental state in this version of OOTP, as a free man. Harry gets to see Ron and Ginny, and learn about Percy’s estrangement from the family, to say nothing of Fred and George’s depression. Ron is a Prefect and Harry can’t really be jealous given how he dodged expulsion by the skin of his teeth and isn’t exactly winning any Badges these days. (Man, can you imagine Harry trying to go out on dates with Ginny, with Umbridge lurking in the corner and hem-hemming all the time? God, he’s in for a rough year…) 
Let’s check in on Voldemort. Or at least on his plans, which we hear from Snape at Order meetings, once they start happening. No big blow-up argument between Molly and Sirius as there’s no real call for it in this timeline, but frankly Sirius just tells Harry everything anyway, once the others are gone. Voldemort has the Philosopher’s Stone. He’s trying to gather followers, but he’s also after the mysterious “weapon.” (To this day, I don’t know why they describe the Prophecy as a weapon but alright.) Snape has also been able to confirm the return of Crouch Junior, though nobody has any clue how that’s possible, and everyone is now really afraid of Voldemort’s seemingly literal death-defying powers. 
Harry has an idea, and he calls out to Dobby. Who is now a free Elf, and is overjoyed to see Harry again, feeling absolutely indebted to him. I think he asks to become Harry’s Elf at this point and Harry doesn’t really have any reason to say no. Rest assured, this isn’t going to last for long. I’m just thinking that Dobby only found work at Hogwarts when he was with Winkie, and that hasn’t happened so far. But it will. Because Harry’s going to ask Dobby to find Winkie, and question her about Crouch Junior. 
Luna Lovegood. Harry might actually already know her at this point, if she’s Ginny’s friend. Actually, no, I don’t think Ginny and Luna were as close as they got until the D.A. started, but either way, Harry meets her on the train. She shows him the Quibbler, and I want to say that it has some article about how Voldemort is secretly possessing Harry using an obscure magical fungus, and not even Harry himself knows it. Because the Quibbler is always right when you look past the silly, extraneous details. 
Return to Hogwarts, except no reaction to the Thestrals this time as Harry still can’t see them. The Sorting Hat sings a new song, and Harry endures jabs from Draco. Indeed, a lot of people are whispering and buzzing about him after the Hearing over the summer. When he gets up to leave as everyone is dismissed, Umbridge is right there, and in her sickeningly sweet girlish voice, suggests they take a walk. When they do, she outlines the new regime: He is going to behave himself. If he doesn’t, she’ll be forced to punish him, and make sure he learns his lesson. All with those high pitched giggles. She tells him that she’ll be watching closely and from now on, she will escort him everywhere. Hogsmeade weekends and other entertaining activities will be at her discretion. Harry feels as though he’s going to be sick, and doesn’t shake her off until he reaches the Slytherin Common Room.
Indeed, Umbridge is everywhere. She even sits in on Harry’s classes, causing a considerable amount of buzzing and invoking the ire of several teachers. Included but not limited to McGonagall, Snape, and of course Sirius. Indeed, he causes a scene when he holds Harry back after class to talk to him, and when Umbridge won’t leave, he says he’ll take this before Dumbledore. Umbridge responds that she answers to someone above Dumbledore. Sirius offers a tired smile and remarks that there is no such person. Is it commentary on his society, a spark of actual loyalty to the man, or is he just trying to frighten Umbridge and get under her skin? (Remember, Umbridge also helped pass Anti-Werewolf laws.) Either way, this is about to get very funny, as Sirius transforms into Padfoot and uses that as motivation to make Umbridge go away, at least for a little bit, though she says she’s going to write to the Minister. 
Sirius and Harry have a conversation similar to the “Have a biscuit, Potter” scene in the OG timeline, except it’s much more open as Sirius sympathizes with Harry and urges him to just play along for the time being, as he, Sirius, works on a way to try and get rid of The Toad. 
But The Toad will have her revenge. She doesn’t like that Sirius is teaching his students actual defensive magic, or that his class sometimes gets side-tracked as his students ask him what Azkaban was like. Furthermore, she makes good on her promise to “punish” Harry for wrongdoing, which apparently includes having a private conversation with a teacher, who is also his Godfather. Doesn’t matter. She takes Harry back to the Slytherin Dungeon and makes him write with the Blood Quill. In this case, he writes “I will not sneak about.” Or something to that effect. But Draco catches sight of what’s happening before Umbridge sends him away. I mean, he is a Prefect, and it’s just like him to spy on Harry, so I can see this happening. Ready for a surprise, though? Draco is appalled. 
I mean, I’m not saying he voices this opinion or does anything about it. I’m not sure he’d ever admit that his initial gut reaction was of disgust, but it was. Draco is an entitled, spoiled bully who doesn’t have a clue…but he’s not a sadist. He doesn’t like violence, he doesn’t like actually physically hurting others. Sure, he was excited about Hermione’s death, but it’s not like he saw her mangled body. If he had, I think he might have changed his tune. It’s so much easier to align yourself with bigotry if you don’t actually see all the blood that gets spilled. Draco hates Harry but seeing him be literally tortured is going to affect him and not in a good way. On some level, he knows that it’s wrong. He just can’t face it. At least not yet. 
Harry’s a stubborn stag, and if we assume that Dumbledore is still ghosting him in this timeline, (and he’d have even more reason to) then he’s not going to tell Dumbledore or anyone else. I’d say it’s even more likely that he takes Umbridge’s control of his life as a personal challenge. She won’t let him play Quidditch, she won’t let him see Ginny, and so on. Not until he “earns” it, and earning it is going to take a number of late nights of carving “I will not sneak about” on his hand. Never mind that it’s O.W.L. year and he has homework as well. Meanwhile, Ron becomes Keeper alongside Ginny as Chaser on the Gryffindor team. 
So, the D.A. is unlikely to be formed in this timeline. There’s just no need for it. They have an adept teacher for Defense Against The Dark Arts. But he’s about to be seriously crippled, as another Educational Decree passes, limiting the D.A.D.A. teacher to defensive magical theory and essentially rewriting the entire curriculum to be useless. This is a problem…or it would be, except this is Sirius we’re talking about, and he blatantly ignores this new Decree, which is a whole other problem by itself. To this end, he tries to ban Umbridge from shadowing his classes, and both McGonagall and Snape back him. Sirius and Snape on the same side? It’s more likely than you think. Finally, Dumbledore steps in, and informs Umbridge (and Fudge) that during class hours, it is the responsibility of the teacher to keep Harry in check, and that Umbridge is no longer welcome to sit in on his classes. She tries anyway, and various enchantments kick her out, to increasingly hilarious effects. 
So in essence, there is a “D.A.” of sorts, but not really as Sirius is the one running it, and it’s just his normal classes, (complete with Remus coming in for the occasional guest lecture) which he instructs his students not to talk about - though of course they do, but Umbridge can’t really prove anything. She questions Harry, who rebuffs her, and hey, guess what? “I must not tell lies.” is back. Or maybe just “I will tell the truth.” On his other hand. But by this point, it’s getting harder and harder for Harry to hide his hands. He’s been wearing gloves and just claiming his hands get cold, but it’s creating awkward situations. Theodore has already glimpsed his hands, but agreed to remain silent. In a dark moment, he “jokingly” suggests The Killing Curse, but drops it when Harry looks disturbed. 
You know who gets Harry to come forward, though? At long last? I think it’s Draco, actually. I think for the first time in five years, Harry and Draco have a real heart to heart. Well, that’s putting it a little bit strong. Here’s how I imagine it: Draco wants to talk to Harry about why he’s wearing the gloves, but cannot express that this is what he wants to talk about. So he makes a few attempts to initiate conversation in the ways he knows how. Gloating about how he is once again the Slytherin Seeker, picking on Dobby when Dobby comes to see Harry - which reminds me, Umbridge hates both him and Crookshanks and tries to have both of them sent away. She fails with Crookshanks, but it’s agreed that students shouldn’t have personal elves, so his news will have to wait. Either way, Harry snaps at Draco and tells him to “go tell Umbridge on him” if he wants to do some real damage. 
Harry sees the pain in Draco’s eyes, and for just a moment, the mask slips. Draco snaps back, asking why Harry hasn’t just said something, gone to his precious Godfather or to Dumbledore and told them what Umbridge is doing. That Harry is Dumbledore’s favorite and Umbridge is clearly in the wrong. Tempers are running high, and Harry fires back that it’s not about being right or wrong - he has to win. Running to Sirius or especially Dumbledore is, I think, akin to giving up - at least in Harry’s mind. Draco is stunned and actually a little impressed. Tells Harry “That’s the most Slytherin thing I’ve ever heard you say, Potter…” Draco parts Harry’s company by telling him that, if Umbridge is doing this to him, odds are she’s done it to other people in the past. 
Harry is so thick and I love him for it. I’m just now realizing how much effort and energy he is dedicating to this war with Umbridge when there are much bigger fish to fry, but you all know this is exactly what he’d do. Speaking of those bigger fish, Dobby comes out when the coast is clear and updates Harry on Winkie. He got her a job in the Kitchens, but she clamped up about her previous masters. Dobby freely offers to do some unkind things to Umbridge with his Elf magic, the next time she hurts him. But Harry again rejects the help, instead freeing Dobby by giving him a Slytherin scarf, and encouraging him to take a job in the Kitchens as well. If nothing else, he doesn’t want to get in more trouble. He’ll have to take Umbridge down another way. And Draco’s words have given him an idea of how to do it. 
I said he’d come forward before, and maybe he would, but…no. Here’s the thing. Guess who else is keeping tabs on Harry and then hears raised voices in the Slytherin Common Room? Why, the Head of Slytherin of course. Umbridge was careful. She deliberately waited till the dead of night to give Harry his “punishments.” She memorized Snape’s schedule. Harry has not done this. It doesn’t occur to him that he’ll be overheard. But once Draco and Dobby are gone, Snape emerges from the shadows to interrogate him ferociously about how long this has been going on. He’s mad. He’s very mad, and he’s taking it out on Harry, which is hilarious because the anger is on Harry’s behalf. However, Harry knows what to do now, and he speaks up, finally talking in Snape’s language. 
“My Dad. My Dad used to make your life hell, didn’t he? Him and Sirius, all the time. Remus told me. Professor, this is my hell. Umbridge is my James Potter. These are demons I have to face alone. If I can’t handle the likes of her, then I don’t stand a chance against Voldemort.” 
Snape, like Draco, is genuinely moved by Harry’s sentiments, even if he’d sooner die than admit it. Harry is learning to talk, and think, like a real Slytherin. 
I said Harry knows what to do, and he does. Asking for help would be a show of weakness in this fight. But there’s a valley between asking for help and exploiting a resource, and that valley comes down to how much a person means to Harry. He won’t ask Sirius or Dumbledore or Dobby to help him take down Umbridge…but a stranger, or even someone he dislikes? That’s another story, and it so happens that one of his enemies is in a perfect position to systematically destroy Umbridge. This enemy has no loyalty or integrity, they have no reason to help Harry, but they serve their own interests and making gold is one of those interests. I am talking, of course, about Rita Skeeter. 
But how is he going to meet with her? I think he enlists a little help from Fred and George, recruiting Ron into the plan during Charms class, who then passes the message onto them, and they use one of the secret passages to deliver a classic to Harry at the Slytherin Common Room. A package of the prototype “Fainting Fancies.” He then has Daphne offer one to Umbridge on the morning of a Hogsmeade visit. She’s down for the count, and Daphne and Tracey move her into a nearby broom cupboard, locking it so she won’t be discovered. 
So Harry makes his way to The Hog’s Head, let’s say, to meet with Rita. I’d assume they’ve been writing to each other through Ron and Hedwig. Harry doesn’t even need to blackmail her (not that he knows her secret anyway) he just needs to take a page from the Malfoy book and pay her off handsomely. He doesn’t know she’s an Animagus but he does know that she has some method of spying on people or otherwise learning their secrets that is as of yet, undetectable. It is an educated guess that Umbridge has skeletons in her closet, and if Rita can unearth them, she can put them out into the world. But she offers an alternative solution. Don’t publish, blackmail. (So long as she gets paid a small fortune, it’s all the same to her.) Harry agrees with this plan. 
Is it cheating to use Pottermore content? I mean, it’s all canon, right? Well, *casts a cursory glance at McGonagall* perhaps not all of it…but I don’t see a film series rewriting Umbridge’s backstory anytime soon. If you didn’t know, her mother was a muggle and her brother a squib. And boy oh boy, does she hate being reminded of that. She doesn’t want anyone to know. With Rita’s help, Harry discovers these treats, as well as learning that her “Blood Quills” are 100% illegal. (I mean..they’ve got to be, right? It’s only a head-canon but, come on.)  She also discovers that Umbridge was behind the bogus raid on Grimmauld Place. She relays all this, probably through a fireplace phone conversation in the Slytherin Dungeons after hours. This isn’t enough on its own though, Harry is going to need proof. The word of Harry Potter, especially against a Ministry official,  is all but worthless right now. 
Quidditch time. Harry isn’t in the game and he doesn’t even get to attend, but Ron’s stage fright acts up and the Weasley is Our King meme is born, though it will still be a while before he reclaims it. Hagrid returns and Ron and Ginny are the ones who visit him to learn about the Giants, as obviously, Harry’s got a shadow. After Umbridge woke up in the closet and was discovered, she raced back to the Common Room but Harry beat her there, innocently asking where she’d been. But Umbridge knew Harry was behind it and gave him more Blood Quill lessons. She’s been cracking down on him harder and he knows he’s going to need to think of something clever, as he likely can’t slip away a second time to collect the evidence. 
It’s during a Potions lesson that the idea falls into place. Polyjuice Potion. He needs to use Polyjuice Potion. A bait and switch. He can’t have his Slytherin friends brewing it, not with Umbridge popping in and out. Ron is rubbish at Potions and Ginny is probably decent, but do you know who I think Harry goes to for help, possibly at her advice? Luna. Or maybe just all three of them, why not? They brew Polyjuice in the Third Floor Corridor, which is now deserted. On the day of the next Hogsmeade visit, Harry and Ron swap places and take each other’s identities before Umbridge shows up. 
Ron waits for Umbridge. She never turns up. Harry ventures back to Hogsmeade, meeting with Rita in the agreed-upon place, where she’s supposed to have vials of Pensieve memories that confirm her stories. But something is wrong. She doesn’t seem to have anything on her person. Harry realizes too late that this is a set-up, as Umbridge appears from around the corner, having waited for Harry to say enough to damn himself. She binds him and takes him by side-along apparition to the Ministry. 
See, The Hog’s Head was a bad idea. We know people can listen in there. I also wouldn’t be surprised if The Ministry wasn’t looking into Rita after the whole Cedric Conspiracy last year. If Umbridge discovered Rita’s dirty little secret, she could use that to leverage her into stabbing Harry in the back, as it’s Harry that Umbridge actually wants. She brings him before Fudge who gloats that he’s done it now, and his time at Hogwarts is over. Furious, Harry throws off his gloves and tells him that they’ll have to try harder than that to silence him. Fudge is confused, then disturbed, as he realizes what Harry’s hand wounds are, but he blusters and quickly dismisses it as not the point. 
Meanwhile, Ron goes to Sirius, as neither Harry nor Umbridge have been seen all day and it just doesn’t smell right. Surprisingly, Draco does the same thing in approaching Snape. Ron admits Harry’s plan to Sirius, who is impressed in spite of himself. Snape and Draco discuss Umbridge and her “methods” speculating on just how far she might go. Sirius and Snape run into each other and their mutual dislike becomes a problem, before McGonagall happens upon them both and extracts an explanation. She sends them to inform Dumbledore as she ventures to Hogsmeade herself, but everyone is long gone. 
Right as Dumbledore is being informed, he gets an owl informing him that Harry is to be expelled and his wand destroyed. He, Sirius, and Snape immediately take a floo-powder journey right into Fudge’s office. A huge argument ensues, and Umbridge’s black quill usage comes out. Sirius is about ready to kill her on the spot, though he also wants to know why Harry didn’t tell him. That will cause some drama. Umbridge is, much to her fury and dismay, subsequently dismissed as Harry’s Supervisor. Sirius tries to argue the whole Supervisor concept away, or that he can just do it himself, but Fudge steamrolls over this and says he’ll be in touch soon to appoint the new Supervisor, and that Umbridge will be investigated. 
I think this is where she snaps and tries to attack Harry, but Dumbledore is there so she gets blasted into kingdom come. Well, more like the nearby office wall, but still. Well, that’s it for Umbridge. Least for now. Harry is taken back to Grimmauld Place for the winter holiday as Remus and Sirius obviously dote on him. Sirius still wants to know why Harry never said anything about the Blood Quill, and Harry doesn’t really have an answer. He tries to convey that he wanted to win, but Sirius and Remus don’t really get it. 
Harry has the Dream, of Nagini attacking Arthur. The Weasleys come over, and they basically stay for Christmas after the fact. Harry is able to call Dobby to help seek and locate Arthur, bringing him to St. Mungo’s. Like before, Sirius has to stop Fred and George from tearing off to the hospital to see him, but they do eventually all go. They see Arthur, and they also meet Neville’s parents. Harry and everyone else is sickened, naturally, and Harry once again pleads with Dobby to find out as much as he can about how Crouch Junior can be alive. Oh, and the adults all have a conversation about what Harry’s dream means, leading to them dropping the line about Voldemort possessing Harry. Except this time, it’s Sirius and Remus, most likely, who are talking about it. Well, that’s gonna shatter the hell out of him. 
See, Ginny’s able to pull him from his slump even sooner this time, but it will still linger in the back of his mind. They’ve both been Possessed by Voldemort so they share that trauma, and it helps them bond even further. But Harry is hurt that Remus and Sirius would have a conversation like this behind his back. What’s more, he’s wrestling with a greater fear that comes to a head when he faces that Boggart that’s been lingering upstairs. I can’t remember if I have this as being the first time Harry faces a Boggart, but if it’s not, I totally should have done that, because Harry’s Boggart is himself as a Dark Wizard. It’s a little like the OOTP movie, now that I think about it. I feel like Remus is the one to see it, but Harry refuses to talk about it short of asking Remus not to tell anyone. 
Hey, remember when Snape turned up to inform Harry he’d be getting Occlumency lessons? Well, those lessons are totally still happening, but I don’t think Snape is the one to inform Harry personally. I think that job would be relegated to Harry’s new Supervisor - Kingsley Shacklebolt. Well, Harry’s life just got a whole lot easier. My first instinct was Rufus Scrimgeour, and honestly that sounds like it would be far more interesting, but *deep sigh* I promised myself I would do this based on what is most likely to happen, and realistically, Scrimgeour is way too busy to take on an assignment like this. He’s the head of the Auror Office at this point, so no. While it’s true that Fudge wouldn’t want one of “Dumbledore’s people” watching Harry, he has no idea that Kingsley is a member of the Order, Kingsley hid that very well. Either way, he’s here to notify Harry of the arrangement, so he might as well also tell him about the Occlumency, right? If Snape doesn’t have to go, why would he?
The mass breakout happens. This doesn’t really affect our heroes directly beyond freeing the one, the only, Bellatrix Lestrange. But that will have a greater impact later. The Ministry, unable to blame Sirius in this timeline, chooses to use Umbridge as a scapegoat and claim she was probably involved. Oh, I’ve just thought of something else - Wormtail. He’s in Azkaban right now, isn’t he? Yeah, he’ll escape too, though whether or not he joins Voldemort or just goes right back into hiding as a rat is a different question. 
Here’s something else to think about. Harry should be getting his position on the Slytherin Quidditch team back, right? Well, I’d theorize that the Slytherin Captain offers to redo Tryouts (I mean, Harry’s got a damn Firebolt) but Harry, in a surprise move, turns the offer down and says that Draco should be Seeker. After all the stress of dealing with Umbridge, I think Harry has had enough of dealing with enemies. He and Draco may never be friends but they don’t have to be foes - and there was a glimmer of potential in their last conversation. Not sure if Draco would take the gesture well, though. He might think of it as charity. Unless Harry doubles back to say something to the effect of “now we’re even.” 
Moving forward, man, a lot of stuff from the original timeline just isn’t going to happen. The D.A. isn’t here, and neither is Umbridge, so that’s not getting busted. No conflict with Marietta. No High Inquisitor either, so Trelawney doesn’t get sacked and Firenze might just be stuck with nothing. There’s still the “The Beetle at Bay” but, nope, we covered that earlier in the story. I mean Harry can have a Valentine's Day date with Ginny but I assume it would go well. Ron likely isn’t going to wind up with anyone in this AU, just by the by. I can’t envision him with anyone other than Hermione, though Ron/Lavender could still happen, and there are clues that Luna might have fancied him…we’ll come back to that. In the meantime, we need to talk about Occlumency. 
Harry has taken his first steps toward trying to understand Snape and see him in a better light. Snape has always struggled to respect Harry as a member of his House, but his recent comparison between James and Umbridge (something a Gryffindor Harry would NEVER have done, not even for tactical advantage) has really messed with Snape’s head and now he doesn’t know what to think of the boy. But perhaps these lessons will help him figure it out. Snape is more disturbed than he lets on at Harry’s memories of the Dursleys, including the one where he hexed them - and then it’s immediately followed by the time he Crucio’d Sirius. Snape tries to ask him about this, but Harry clamps up and looks so distressed that Snape pushes forward and attacks again. He sees Harry’s Boggart. But before he can concentrate on that, he sees the Door from Harry’s dreams (Oh yeah, he’s still having those, did I mention that?) as Harry recognizes it at long last. 
Meanwhile, Harry doesn’t trust Kingsley at all. I mean, he likes him just fine, as Kingsley is a cool guy. But Harry doesn’t know him, and he’s not about to start trusting a stranger whose sole purpose at Hogwarts is to keep an eye on him. Though Kingsley isn’t nearly so “hands-on” and he doesn’t “punish” Harry. Like I said, I think Harry was able to have his romantic Valentine's Day with Ginny. I’m sure Kingsley is more than willing to clear off for stuff like that. But still, between him, Snape, and Sirius - Harry isn’t exactly going to be getting up to any mischief. 
Snape’s Worst Memory would normally happen here, and it’s a pretty damn crucial cornerstone of Harry and Snape’s rivalry as well as Snape’s character as a whole. But I just don’t know if I can see it happening here. See, what motivated Harry to look into the Pensieve in the original timeline was mistrust in Snape, and in this version…against all odds, Harry pretty much does trust Snape right now. Also, Remus and Sirius have already given him a somewhat sanitized version of events, and combined with Snape’s biased version, Harry has more or less put the pieces together on what sort of person James was. I think this means Harry just…continues getting Occlumency lessons? They’re not exactly pleasant but Snape is learning more about Harry’s inner turmoil and it’s making him falter ever so slightly. 
Career Advice time, oh yeah. I have…no idea what Harry would want to do with his life at this point. Because it was only Crouch Junior’s advice that planted the idea of becoming an Auror in Harry’s mind. He never really entertained the idea of being anything else. It’s pretty clear that he was meant to teach Defense Against The Dark Arts, but that hasn’t really been shown off in this timeline much. But what’s extra funny is that Harry has Career Advice with Snape. Imagine if he told Snape that he wanted to teach D.A.D.A. too, oh, that’s hilarious. On the other hand, if he was in any way influenced by Kingsley, he might still want to take the Auror’s path. He could always go pro for Quidditch, having been influenced by Victor Krum, but hell, he just turned down a Seeker Tryout. I don’t see that in the cards for him. I think Snape would likely steer him in the direction of becoming an Auror, probably out of some self-loathing and instinct for Harry, that Snape is thinking “Don’t be like me.” 
No fireworks, and no swamp. Fred and George are totally still inventing, but they’re doing so with no budget, and they have no tyrant to oppose. So it’s just casual stuff. The Quidditch Final arrives and with it, Ron officially reclaims the Weasley is Our King joke and is properly crowned. As with before, Harry’s not playing, but unlike before, I don’t think Hagrid ushers him away. He’d definitely still take him into the Forest to meet Grawp at some point, but with Umbridge gone and Hagrid’s job not on the line, he doesn’t really need to sneak as much. Harry is definitely stunned and slightly terrified of Hagrid’s brother, but Grawp is as adorable as ever. “GRAWP WANT HAGGER!” Bless his enormous heart. Either way, Harry celebrates the win over Ravenclaw with Ron and Ginny. 
I think at around this point, Rita Skeeter would release an article discussing Harry’s childhood memories and - for a real stunner - his Boggart. If she’s still at large, it only makes sense that she’d keep pulling the same crap until she gets caught. Harry shows Snape the article and Snape is momentarily blind with rage at Harry for “taking this interview” but Harry, well and truly familiar with Snape’s bullshit by now, just cuts him off to say that he didn’t give Rita any interviews about his Occlumency lessons. That she must have been spying somehow. They resolve to catch her in the act, and stage another Occlumency lesson where they discuss false memories. (Just for giggles, let’s say they consist of Harry having a midnight duel in first year, brewing polyjuice potion in his second year, and eating some gillyweed just last year.) If all goes to plan, they’ll have proven Rita is spying, and will be able to turn the tables on her. 
Now it’s time for O.W.L.s. The pace has really slowed down, huh? But fortunately, it’s about to pick right back up. At least. I think. I dunno, I’ve got to figure this out. Because it’s time to discuss Voldemort’s plan, and how he would go about things. In the original universe, he uses the mental connection to stage Sirius getting abducted and tortured. He needs to motivate Harry to venture to the Hall of Prophecy in the Department of Mysteries and pick up Trelawney’s Prophecy as he and Voldemort are the only ones who can. That’s not going to work this time. Sirius is at Hogwarts. Voldemort needs someone Harry loves and cares about, who isn’t in an immediate vicinity where Harry can just check that they’re okay. But part of the reason this plan worked so well in the OG timeline is that Hogwarts had been drained of all the adults Harry trusted. McGonagall was gone, Dumbledore was gone. Harry legit just forgot about Snape, which says a lot. But in this timeline, they’re all here, and Harry trusts them - especially Sirius, who is also involved. Harry can ask any of them for help, especially since Umbridge is gone. 
Voldemort’s plan only worked because Umbridge had chipped away at Harry’s life piece by piece over the previous ten months. But speaking of Umbridge, she’s going to be the key. I don’t think she took defeat very well, I don’t think she had any intention of just letting the matter go. She would definitely want revenge on Harry, and who’s making the best offer? Well, there’s a rich and esteemed pureblood man with a lot of connections and ties to the Ministry. Yes, I can see Lucius reaching out at Voldemort’s behest to the disgraced Umbridge, and leading her into a trap rather like Wormtail did for Bertha Jorkins in the original universe. Voldemort is going to torture the hell out of Umbridge and break her mind - she spent a great deal of time with Harry and Voldemort wants that intel. Now, why not just possess Umbridge and use her to access the Ministry? Simple. They turned her into a scapegoat. She doesn’t have a job anymore. So she’s useless apart from information, and by the time Voldemort is done with her, Umbridge is little more than a husk. I’d feel bad, but then again, it is Umbridge. Either way, Voldemort now knows all of Harry’s pressure points. Ron. Ginny. Sirius. Hagrid. 
Of course, the alternative solution here is for him to try and Possess Harry again, but for whatever reason, this is the one time in the books where Voldemort just can’t do that. Apparently he’s unable to Possess Harry without feeling excruciating pain because Harry can love. Which um. I’m pretty sure Voldemort’s Possessed other people who can also feel love (like Ginny for instance) but okay. I guess that’s out. Again, it’s #NotMyPlothole, but I’ll respect the canon. 
Actually, wait. There’s a precedent here that works. Voldemort can Possess Ginny. He’s done it before. That’s a way to get Harry to the Department of Mysteries. Even if he’s out of range to do it, he can always send Lucius onto the grounds to do a little Imperius work. So while Harry is undergoing O.W.L.s, Ginny gets possessed and later tries to convince Harry to go investigate the Black Door himself. However, Harry’s scar suddenly erupts with pain and Voldemort realizes his mistake. He warns Harry that he must come to the Department of Mysteries, alone, or he will never see Ginny again. By the time Harry can rise from the floor, by the time the pain stops, Ginny-mort is gone. 
Harry must now find a way to outwit all of the adults in the castle who’d have the means to stop him from rescuing Ginny. But he believes he has to do this alone, just as he felt the same about Umbridge. Voldemort is not one to make idle threats. Like a true Slytherin, he lies to get Kingsley off his tail, warning him that Sirius is acting shady and Harry thinks he might be Possessed. Course, Dumbledore still has The Marauder’s Map, but that shouldn’t be too significant an issue. Assuming he’s even watching, it will be too late by the time he realizes Harry is gone, unless he can guess where Harry’s going. 
No Thestral ride this time, and no Firebolt ride either. Harry likely wouldn’t know how to get to the Ministry by flight, and he doesn’t need to. He has the Slytherin Common Room’s fireplace - as the fires at Hogwarts aren’t being watched in this timeline. But first he needs to get everyone out. Fred and George will need to help him here, possibly with an earlier version of some of those fireworks. No way to be sure who all would be in The Common Room but as it’s studying time for the Fifth Years, at least one of Harry’s House-mates would likely be there, figure out that he’s up to something, and go warn Snape. Either to hinder Harry’s efforts or because they’re genuinely concerned for him.
Harry arrives at The Ministry, and at this point he’s likely expecting to finally be expelled for good this time, when this is all over. He ditched his Supervisor to skip school and all. But he doesn’t care. He has to save Ginny. He stumbles his way through the various rooms in the Department of Mysteries as before. No way to be certain that he’d check the same ones, but I don’t see any of them tripping him up, really. Except maybe the Death Chamber, but he could snap out of that for Ginny’s sake. Then again, this time, does he know what he’s looking for? Actually he could. The Door in his dreams did eventually open. Alternatively, he could use his Scar to navigate, and follow the increasing pain. Or maybe Voldemort just has Lucius stationed at the entrance to escort Harry at wand-point. Either way, he makes it to the Hall of Prophecy. Ginny is there, already bound, and so are The Death Eaters - including but not limited to Lucius, Bellatrix, and Crouch Junior. 
One point of note. I don’t think Ginny’s Possession is going to be fatal or even really harm her much at all, since it was so brief. Compared to Quirrell, Moody, and Crouch Senior who Voldemort Possessed for months on end. Another point of note, and this will be important later. I suspect Rita Skeeter’s next article would come out at around this time. Where, sure enough, she talks all about the fake memories that Harry and Snape discussed during their staged Legilimency lesson. So now Harry and associates know that Rita is spying on him. Now they’re sure. They’ve just got bigger problems to deal with first. We’ll be coming back to this. 
Back at the Ministry, Harry is kind of screwed. It’s rather like the movie where he’s got little choice but to retrieve the Prophecy and hand it over, despite Ginny telling him “don’t you dare-” etc. So what’s going to save him? Actually, I think Crouch and Bellatrix get into a spat over who will accept the Prophecy from Harry and bring it back to Voldemort. That’s something to think about - they both consider themselves Voldemort’s favorite, and in this timeline, they’re both here. They’ve both endured hardships and likely think that makes them superior to each other. They’re going to be competing nonstop, much to the chagrin of the other Death Eaters. Course, neither of them will let Lucius be the one to take the Prophecy. He’s not important enough. Harry waits for an opening, but this time he doesn’t have a crew of six to back him up, at least not yet. 
Back at the castle, Kingsley and Sirius are arguing as Sirius tries to figure out what’s going on. Snape, meanwhile, has been informed of the commotion in the Slytherin Common Room and now Harry has turned up missing. Again. Kingsley realizes he’s been had. The staff all meet to figure out what’s going on, as Dumbledore pours over the Map. This is when Sirius realizes he has it, and he’s not exactly happy about that. However, they eventually realize that Ginny is missing too. Secret unauthorized Hogsmeade date perhaps? Well, they check in with Rosmerta and Aberforth, but Dumbledore already knew that idea was too good to be true. 
Snape is the one to figure it out, having seen inside Harry’s mind and seen his dreams. He realizes Harry has gone to investigate the Department of Mysteries and curses the boy for his stupidity, leading to a fight with Sirius, before McGonagall and Dumbledore have to calm everyone down. Kingsley leaves to find Harry before other Ministry officials do, but Sirius insists on coming along. Dumbledore, following his instincts, requests that they bring more members of The Order. 
In the Hall of Prophecy, Harry has figured out what to do. With his best baseball arm, he flings the Prophecy into the darkness, and as the Death Eaters chase after it, he frees Ginny from her binds and the two of them make a break for it. It’s safe to say the Prophecy breaks when Harry throws it, though. I guess that thread of fate just cannot be severed. What follows is a game of cat and mouse where the Death Eaters chase Harry and Ginny through the various rooms. This would be around the point where The Order shows up. Some of them, anyway. 
We’ve got Sirius and Kingsley, and presumably Remus as well as maybe Tonks. (oh yeah, she’s still in the series, Harry just hasn’t met her before) but that’s about it. Moody’s dead. Dumbledore and Snape are still at Hogwarts. Keep in mind, they aren’t going to realize this is a Death Eater trap until it’s too late. The Order thinks they’re just picking up Harry from another day of his causing trouble. The numbers are not in their favor and they’re about to walk into an ambush, basically. 
What’s also curious is that one of the Death Eaters here is Theodore’s father. Along with Lucius, and Crabbe and Goyle’s dads too. That’s a series of gut punches for Harry. He didn’t actually know until now that Lucius was a Death Eater (though he likely suspected it) as the Graveyard scene never happened this time. Then there’s Dolohov, who cast some horrid curse with violet fire that nearly killed Hermione. But it failed because she had already Silencio’d him. Easy enough to just translate that onto Ginny but it feels almost too easy. Whatever, it’s a minor detail. We all know what happens next. 
Sorry, but it just has to happen. I can see no reason why it wouldn’t still go down the same way, and given how Sirius took up the Defense Against The Dark Arts position…yeah, something was going to have to remove him from this equation anyway. 
So, yeah. Bellatrix gets into a duel with Sirius and ultimately kills him, knocking him through the Veil. Remus has to stop Harry from jumping in after him, and has to break down that Sirius is gone. Poor Remus, man, he just cannot catch a break, can he? Either way, the duel continues and as before, Harry breaks free from Remus’ hold and pursues Bellatrix into the room with all the statues. Now for the million galleon question. Does Harry kill her? Or try, anyway? He…might. He wanted to kill her in the original timeline, and in this one he’s a hell of a lot closer to Sirius, what with seeing him every day and living with him since the end of POA. Not to mention the guilt he always felt about Crucio-ing Sirius before he knew the truth. So I dunno if I see him actually using Crucio again, not after that incident. But he could at least attempt Avada Kedavra. Perhaps he misses? The statues aren’t exactly going to protect Bellatrix though, and she certainly wouldn’t see it coming. 
It feels like Harry is just going darker and darker and I don’t think that would happen just because he’s in Slytherin, but I do think that given who Harry is, and the destiny the world forces on him, getting sorted into Slytherin has created a massive contradiction in his own heart and in the eyes of everyone who sees him, and he doesn’t know how to deal with that. He’s in Voldemort’s House, and all of his loved ones are in that House’s rival, as were his parents. How is he supposed to handle that? 
I think I know what happens. I think Harry does kill Bellatrix. Because like I said, she’s not going to see it coming. She didn’t see Crucio coming in the original timeline and while Harry might not “mean” it with true malice, I think that only really applies to the Cruciatus Curse. There’s no spectrum like that for killing someone with Avada Kedavra. They either die or they don’t, and no one apart from Harry has ever survived that curse. Again, I don’t see him using Crucio on someone after the Shrieking Shack incident, and with how much closer he is to Sirius…yep, Bellatrix is dead as a doornail. 
Voldemort arrives, and Harry initially doesn’t even know who he is. He’s never seen him before. But his scar is exploding with pain and there’s this strange man, eerie and haunted-looking, yet with the ghost of features that were likely once handsome and perhaps still are from certain lights. I’m picturing first-war era Voldemort, know what I’m saying? Voldemort is consumed with rage upon seeing that Harry has slain one of his most devoted followers, and he attacks, attempting to kill Harry. The statutes…probably? Still protect him? I’m not sure why they wouldn’t. 
More importantly, this is the first time Harry has dueled Voldemort. Yew versus Holly, and we all know what that means. The Death Eaters and the Order members plus Ginny likely all stumble on the effects of Priori Incantatem. I’m assuming Harry still “wins” this duel by sending the gold beads back into Voldemort’s wand and conjuring images of his parents. Like I don’t see why any of that would change. Remus is choked up to see them, especially since Sirius just died (and I bet both he and Harry were hoping to see him too and wondering why they didn’t.) But the echoes help Harry retreat, grab Ginny and Remus, and tell him to get them out of here. He disapparates them back to Grimmauld Place. 
Interesting point of note. Had Harry lost the Priori Incantatem battle of wills, an echo of Bellatrix would have appeared and likely assisted Voldemort instead. And hey, that could still happen, and it would be extremely interesting, especially if she reveals to everyone who killed her. But, Harry won the bout in the original timeline. And I don’t see a reason why he wouldn’t this time. Either way, I think it’s safe to say Remus splinches the ever loving crap out of himself because imagine trying to apparate in a warzone after watching your oldest friend die, and seeing ghosts of two of your other close friends? Yeah, Remus is not gonna be able to concentrate in those conditions, and he’s gonna be laid up for a while as Healers fix him up. 
Voldemort has work to do. He gathers his followers and they disapparate, bringing Bellatrix’s body with them. They want to leave no evidence of their return, and this time, the heroes did not win. They only escaped, and they didn’t have Dumbledore or anything. So this battle being what definitely proves Voldemort’s return is…kind of not really going to stick this time. Sirius is dead as well, but there’s no body, and no way to prove Bellatrix killed him in the first place. There is evidence that someone broke into the Department of Mysteries and destroyed Ministry property, but that’s it. Voldemort also does not tell The Death Eaters how Bellatrix died. He wants them to think of Harry’s survival at Godric’s Hollow as a fluke. 
The question of casualties is a tricky one, because it would be so easy to just say that certain characters died in this battle, but the truth is I just can’t be sure. The Order didn’t know they were heading into a fight, and Harry also didn’t have The D.A. with him. How can I know for sure that other people would die or choose who that might be? On the other hand, is it unrealistic to say that Sirius and Bellatrix are the only casualties? Or is that enough? Tonks was injured in the battle, should I just say she was killed off instead? Or is that not fair? Hm, as a compromise, I just won’t feature her much at all going forward, and I’m totally not just doing that because I dislike Remadora. Nah, let’s just say Tonks was also killed in the battle. That she was struck by that curse that hit Hermione in the original timeline. It’s harsh, but it's also realistic. Man, The Black family really took a hit, huh? 
Harry likely doesn’t even return to school at this point, since exams were already pretty much over anyway. But he is brought in, possibly to Dumbledore’s office, to be questioned by Kingsley about what happened before they got there. Kingsley is gentle as obviously, Harry is still in mourning. Harry falters and Dumbledore fills in the blanks with a story about how Voldemort killed Bellatrix for failing to procure the Prophecy and for taking out Sirius, who could have otherwise been valuable leverage against Harry. This is also the story Voldemort would tell his Death Eaters. Harry gratefully goes along with this story, and while Kingsley isn’t really buying it, he accepts it and leaves. Snape is also in the corner and he attempts to use Legilimency on Harry, but Harry has been trained better this time and he brings up the Occlumency barriers. Snape is both frustrated and ever so slightly proud, but that’s a small part of his soul that he will never acknowledge. 
Dumbledore dismisses everyone else to talk to Harry alone, and this talk includes many subjects. It covers everything from the original chat they had in the OOTP book. Though Dumbledore also makes it clear that he knows what Harry did and such behavior is unacceptable. That he is letting it pass because he has to, because there are more important matters to deal with. But, if Harry carries on like he is now, he could wind up in Azkaban or worse. He could turn out to be just as bad as Voldemort. As of this point, the Ministry agrees to lift the whole “Supervisor” requirement, but I think this may also be where Harry begins to question if Aurorship is really for him. I mean, he hasn’t exactly made friends with The Ministry. 
Let’s talk about Ginny for a second. She was taken into The Department of Mysteries and could have died in a dangerous battle, all because of Harry. Now, it wasn’t really his fault, and he also did everything in his power to save her, but the point stands nonetheless. I’m not sure how Arthur and Molly feel about Harry at this point, my guess is that their feelings are not positive, but even if they do like him…I think this is going to be their breaking point. Though Harry did save Arthur’s life and he can point that out. Actually, maybe they do like Harry, but are just very concerned for their children. They’d try to forbid Ron and Ginny from associating with him for their own safety. Well, Molly would. It’s not actually gonna happen, though. Seriously, have they met Ginny? She and Ron will be at Hogwarts and basically outside of Molly’s jurisdiction. She could ask the teachers to keep Harry away from her kids if she really wanted to, but dealing with Harry Potter is already such a headache for most of them, and they can see that he doesn’t really mean any harm, so I don’t think they’d really take to that assignment. 
For her part, I think Ginny is freshly traumatized from having been Possessed again, and she and Harry can talk about that. Might cause distance between them or it might bring them even closer, who knows. I guess we’ll have to see in subsequent installments. 
That about sums everything up. There are loose ends, like Harry’s potentially growing relationships with Snape and Draco, but those will also have to be tackled in future installments. Same goes for Rita Skeeter. Oh! Here’s an interesting thought. Lucius did not get arrested this time, and altogether the fiasco was not his fault. It was Crouch and Bellatrix who got distracted, and with Bellatrix dead, there’s only one person for Voldemort to blame. He’s not going to kill Crouch but this may have consequences in the future. One of which being that Draco probably doesn’t get inducted into The Death Eaters. That was only done to punish Lucius…oh, this is going to be fun. 
Things are darkening more and more, though I s'pose OOTP was always a gloomy installment in the first place. Let's see how things play out in Year 6!
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shinyx2 · 1 year
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‘ The species is unusual for having a "vestigial pelvis" characteristic of primitive snakes and taken as evidence by some that snakes descended from lizards that lost their limbs over millions of years. ‘
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panicatwallmaria · 2 years
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I really appreciate the fact that the women in westworld step on everyone (and the men are essentially spineless)
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rubensmuse · 1 year
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eddison tollett 🤝 john jacob ellers
joined the celibate order to get chicks
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Laocoonte - details
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I felt like sharing my collection of Latin phrases that may make good fanfic or fanart titles or inspiration. Some of the translations may be off, so you might want to double-check them before use. Also, I used capitalization liberally so you might also want to check where capitalization is actually indicated.
Ab Intra (From Within)
Acta Est Fabula (The play has been performed)
Acta Sancti ___ (The Deeds of Saint ___)
Ad Undas (to the waves / to hell)
Advocatus Diaboli (Devil's advocate)
Aegri Somnia (a sick man's dreams / troubled dreams)
Alea Iacta Est (the die has been cast / point of no return)
Apologia Pro Vita Sua (defense of one's life)
Caetera Desunt (the rest is missing)
Cedere Nescio (I know not how to yield)
Damnatio Memoriae (damnation of memory / denying someone ever lived)
De Nobis Fabula Narratur (their story is our story)
Decessit Vita Patris (died before their father)
Diem Perdidi (I have lost the day)
Dies Tenebrosa Sicut Nox (a day as dark as night)
Dolor Hic Tibi Proderit Olim (some day this pain will be useful to you)
Dulce Est Desipere In Loco (It is sweet on occasion to play the fool)
Dum Vivimus, Vivamus (while we live, let us live)
Dux Bellorum (war leader)
Ex Umbra In Solem (from the shadow into the light)
Festina Lente (hurry slowly)
Fortis Cadere, Cedere Non Potest (the brave may fall, but can not yield)
Fui Quod Es, Eris Quod Sum (I once was what you are, you will be what I am)
Graviora Manent (heavier things remain / the worst is yet to come)
Haec Olim Meminisse Iuvabit (one day, this will be pleasing to remember)
Hic Mortui Vivunt (here the dead speak)
Hinc Illae Lacrimae (hence those tears)
Hodie Mihi, Cras Tibi (Today it's me, tomorrow it will be you - of death)
Iacate Et Scire (Be still and know)
In Ictu Oculi (in the blink of an eye)
In Somnis Veritas (in dreams there is truth)
Inter Spem Et Metum (between hope and fear)
Lapsus Memoriae (slip of memory)
Luctor, Non Mergor (I struggle, but am not overwhelmed)
Lux Ex Tenebris (light from darkness)
Media Vita In Morte Sumus (In the midst of our lives we die)
Memento Mori (remember that you will die)
Memento Vivere (remember to live)
Morior Invictus (I die unvanquished / death before defeat)
Mundus Senescit (the world grows old)
Nemini Parco (I spare no one - death)
Nitimur In Vetitum (we strive for the forbidden)
Non Ducor, Duco (I am not led; I lead)
Non Omnis Moriar (I shall not all die / part of me will survive beyond death)
Nunc Scio Quid Sit Amor (now I know what love is)
Oderint Dum Metuant (let them hate, so long as they fear)
Omnia Mutantur (everything changes)
Onus Probandi (burden of proof)
Opera Posthuma (posthumous works)
Ophidia In Herba (a snake in the grass)
Pax Aeterna (eternal peace - a common epitaph)
Primum Non Nocere (first do no harm)
Pulvis Et Umbra Sumus (we are dust and shadow)
Quis Leget Haec? (who will read this?)
Quod Periit, Periit (what Is gone is gone)
Res, Non Verba (deeds, not words)
Respice Finem (consider the end)
Scientia Et Sapientia (knowledge and wisdom)
Seculo Seculorum (forever and ever)
Sed Terrae Graviora Manent (but on earth, worse things await)
Si Vis Pacem Para Bellum (if you want peace, prepare for war)
Sic Infit (so it begins)
Sic Vita Est (such is life)
Silentium Est Aureum (silence is golden)
Sine Nomine (without a name / author unknown)
Sola Dosis Facit Venemum (the dose makes the poison)
Solvitur Ambulando (it is solved by walking / simple tests find solutions)
Stamus Contra Malum (we stand against evil)
Succisa Virescit (cut down, we grow back stronger)
Sum Quod Eris (I am what you will be - of death)
Summum Bonum (the supreme good)
Summum Malum (the supreme evil)
Sunt Lacrimae Rerum (there are tears for things)
Sunt Omnes Unum (they are all one)
Tabula Rasa (blank slate)
Transire Benefaciendo (to travel along while doing good)
Tu Fui Ego Eris (I was you; you will be me - of death)
Ubi Amor, Ibi Dolor (where there is love, there is pain)
Ultima Forsan (perhaps the last / sundial quote "perhaps your last hour")
Usque Ad Finem (until the end / fight to the death)
Vi Et Animo (with heart and soul)
Victoria Aut Mors (victory or death)
Vincit Qui Patitur (he conquers who endures)
Vita Ante Acta (a life done before - of reincarnation)
Vivere Militare Est (to live is to fight)
Vox Clamantis In Deserto (the voice of one crying in the wilderness)
There are also some longer ones that may not make good titles because of their length, but are still worth inclusion:
Aut Simul Stabunt Aut Simul Cadent (they will either stand together or fall together)
Flectere Si Nequeo Superos, Acheronta Movebo (if I can not reach Heaven I will raise Hell)
Forsan Et Haec Olim Meminisse Iuvabit (perhaps even these things will be good to remember one day)
Igitur Qui Desiderat Pacem, Praeparet Bellum (therefore whoever desires peace, let him prepare for war)
In Regione Caecorum Rex Est Luscus (in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king)
Minus Malum Toleratur Ut Maius Tollat (choose the lesser evil so a greater evil may be averted)
Quem Deus Vult Perdere, Dementat Prius (whom the gods would destroy, they first make mad)
Ubi Sunt, Qui Ante Nos Fuerunt? (Where are they, those who have gone before us?)
Virtus Junxit Mors Non Separabit (that which virtue unites, let not death separate)
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[Reincarnation AU]
Isabela, bending down to her height to hug her: I mean, Mirabel, getting your head chopped off? At fifteen? *le gasp* That’s got to be the most tragic death here, surely that means you’ll win the competition— oh, oh wait… never mind!
Isabela, sadly: And Dolores, dying of natural causes? …WHEN WILL JUSTICE BE SERVED!?
Isabela: And a snake bite
Luisa:
Isabela:
Luisa:
Isabela: But seriously, Luisa, all jokes aside, getting rejected for your looks legit sounds really rough *rubs her arm supportively*
Isabela: I wouldn’t know anything about that
Isabela: I mean, look at me! I’m really hot
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anamelessfool · 1 month
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This is my jungle Carpet Python, Dolores. I adopted her from a friend 9 years ago. She is a very vocal snake (aka she makes a lot of noise because she's fussy and doesn't like to be handled all that much). Snakes don't have vocal chords, but they can make a lot of hissing, bubbling, sighing, huffing noises. (She has a messed up jaw birth deformity so sometimes she can't keep spit in her mouth 🤷‍♀️)
So basically she inspired how my Ghouls verbally emote in my work.
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She has a much bigger enclosure now but this is the prettiest photo of her from 2018.
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ravenousgf · 7 months
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"Of course. No one is invulnerable to me if I choose to enchant them. No one but you, that is." He rolled his eyes at me dolorously. "But there is no time for me to mourn that. Now you must go forth and make it known that I wish a private moment with Lady Bresinga. Then go and tap at Laurel's door and let her know that we ride soon."
guy who spent a third of his life as a jester can only yearn by laughing at himself about it thus removing both the sting and the seriousness of true attraction all so he can regularly declare his romantic love to his friend without said object of affections being any the wiser. affliction like the snake eating its tail. more at 6
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Did you hear they found a new species of dwarf boa in the Amazon??!? Tropidophis cacuango!!!!
Yes!!! It's amazing how many awesome snakes we still have yet to discover (but it is annoying that I have to update my running memorized list of all 3400 and something snake species...😔)!
Anyway, Tropidophis cacuango (or maybe T. cacuangoae, papers seem to currently be disagreeing on how to latinize the name)! They belong to the genus of South American and West Indian dwarf boas, and when we call them dwarf boas, we mean it - these little fellas seem to stay under a foot long. They're the sixth snake described in the genus Tropidophis. We still know practically nothing about them - there were only two identified specimens - and they're proof we still have a lot to find out about the snakes of the rainforest!
Their scientific name honors Dolores Cacuango, an indigenous rights activist in Ecuador who organized worker's strikes, participated in the 1944 revolution by leading an assualt on a military base (!!!), and founded schools for indigenous children that celebrated their heritage and language. I only learned about her because of this snake, and she was super awesome!
Cool snake, cool history. :)
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gamerbearmira · 8 months
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NAGA MADRIGALSSS!!! Now I just have the funny idea of Naga Dolores and Merman Mariano and they're both like "why is your tail so rough and dry/wet and slippery?" when they first met 😂
NAGA MADRIGALS❗❗
So but it us a little confusing. And Mariano finds it strange how she has a tail, but no fins. Thinks she's kind of lame mermaid. And she's like no, I'm part snake. Good thing she can swim though <33
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Naga Madrigals def are somewhat coldblooded,so they cuddle close often. Sorry I don't make the rules 🥸
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weirdboi · 7 months
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What your favourite tbg book character says about u:
1. Moe/Mr. wolf
-Your into bi golden retriever boys
2. Snake
- U like emo boys
3. Pepe/Mr Piranha
-U like Mexican food and is small one in the friend group
4. Mr Tarantula/Stevie/Legs
-Your mister smarty pants
5. Lou/Mr Shark
-U might look scary outside but u have one of the kindest souls
6. Milton
-U like dinosaurs 🦕 and is the 2th smart friend in the group
7. Nathan
-U like aliens and probably have an younger annoying sibling
8. Marmalade
-Ur probably the younger annoying sibling
9. Papa Piranha
-U like mafia stuff
10. Dolores Grislwust
-U loved her standout
11. Ellen Fox
-U luv boss gals
12. Pam Kitty Kat
-Ur a cat person
13. Emmylou
-U want to ride her motorcycle 🏍️
14. Joy
-IM IN LUV WITH AN EMO GIRWL
15. Rhonda
-U love her "small but can kill" energy (and so do I)
16. Honest Abe
-U think he is cute even tho he can't stfu
17. Zee
-U want to smoke weed with him
18. Granny Gumbo Jumbo
-U like bad ass grandmas
19. Buck Thunders
-U are a stereotypical gigachad
20. Dread Overload Splaarghön
-What is the matter with you?
21. Underlord Shaard
-U like to watch Leather Face a lot
22. Underlord Onsaay
-U actually aren't afraid of bees and listen to Beyonce
23. Underlord Drillaaaargh
-U like goofy villains and have perfect teeth
24. Underlord Esmeralda Ghaastly
-U like quite and mysterious characters
25. Underlord Eaar
-U listen to EVERYTHING (ecen if it's not for ur ears)
All of these are jokes don't take it personally and tell me who is ur fav and why! :D
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incarnateirony · 1 month
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Thelemic readings for March 20
I am the Heart; and the Snake is entwined About the invisible core of the mind. Rise, O my snake! It is now is the hour Of the hooded and holy ineffable flower. Rise, O my snake, into brilliance of bloom On the corpse of Osiris afloat in the tomb! O heart of my mother, my sister, mine own, Thou art given to Nile, to the terror Typhon! Ah me! but the glory of ravening storm Enswathes thee and wraps thee in frenzy of form. Be still, O my soul! that the spell may dissolve As the wands are upraised, and the æons revolve. Behold! in my beauty how joyous Thou art, O Snake that caresses the crown of mine heart! Behold! we are one, and the tempest of years Goes down to the dusk, and the Beetle appears. O Beetle! the drone of Thy dolorous note Be ever the trance of this tremulous throat! I await the awaking! The summons on high From the Lord Adonai, from the Lord Adonai!
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Ah, slaves! ye will not— ye know not how to will.
Yet the music of my spears shall be a song of freedom.
A great bird shall sweep from the Abyss of Joy, and bear ye away to be my cup-bearers.
Strike, strike the master chord! Draw, draw the Flaming Sword! Crowned Child and Conquering Lord, Horus, avenger!
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Mine are the dark-blue waves of music in the song that I made of old to invoke Thee – Strike, strike the master chord! Draw, draw the Flaming Sword! Crowned Child and Conquering Lord, Horus, avenger! By the Song I invoke Thee!
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In my hand is thy Sword of Revenge ; let it strike at Thy Bidding! By the Sword I invoke Thee!
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yellowcry · 5 months
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[Happens in reincarnation au by @miracles-and-butterflies ]
Madrigals group chat
Isabela: Hey, can anyone pick me up from the police station?
Luisa: us*
Dolores: What the hell did you do?
Isabela: Not my fault. That garden shop just had extremely great cactus that I couldn't afford
Luisa: For some reason local zoo didn't like when I wrote "Fuck you" on a sell with snakes and tried to throw some poisoned food to them
Dolores: Oh, obviously
Dolores: Why am I even asking?
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darklydeliciousdesires · 10 months
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The Dream - Chapter Twenty Four.
Huge thanks to everyone for your engagement :) We’re not far from the ending now, just four more chapters and an epilogue to go. Thanks so much for sticking with me!
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Previous chapters - Prologue  One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty Twenty One  Twenty Two  Twenty Three
Tag list - In the comments, please DM to be added/removed (note: those not engaging will be automatically removed from the tag list, FYI)
Words - 3,007 
Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!
“It’s getting bigger,” Keri spoke, looking up at the black obelisk. “Strange, since you’re coping well with me being away. Well, you’re telling me you are. I guess I can’t one hundred percent know for sure.”
Angel took her hand in his, turning away from the huge, black structure that still occupied their mutual dreams. “You can know for sure, cuz’ I’m fine with it. I miss the fuck out of you and it’s only been six weeks, but I’m good.”
Turning to him, she held a little space between her thumb and forefinger. “Just this much?”
It was their thing, and he loved it. “Yeah, just that much.” Folding his arms around her, he walked her away from the obelisk, going over to a door by the rotting old staircase and opening it up, both of them stepping out with a slight pull to their middle, feeling the dream change, their surroundings changing to that of the wildflower meadow they’d met in so many times before in their sleep. “So, tell me more about Australia that you haven’t when we’ve talked on FaceTime.”
“You would lose your damned shit at the spiders here, baby!” she snorted, remembering the one she’d seen in the bar she and the band had visited during a night off, a huge creature that had ran out from behind a picture frame on the wall. Angel would have been out of there in three seconds.
He rumbled quietly with laughter. “Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that, and all the fuckin’ snakes and shit they got out there!”  
“I haven’t seen any of those so far,” she spoke, looking out into the meadow, her feet planting them both by what they witnessed. Once again, there it was, rising up from the dirt. The obelisk. They couldn’t escape it, it seemed. “This thing again?”
“Yeah,” he sighed, pulling her in the other direction. “Maybe it means something else? Because I know it ain’t my shit. I’m dealing with it, being a goddamned adult for once.”
It had crossed her mind, that the foreboding looking structure represented something else, something yet to come that they would have to deal with. Something that didn’t vanish. And there it stayed in their dreams, too, every night, in whatever setting they were in. In fact, the only place it was ever absent was when they found themselves in the blissful surroundings of the white room.  
“You, me and a bed. Shit, I’m missing this. It ain’t easy being a horny person when your woman is halfway around the world,” he told her, kissing her neck, his hand between her legs, stroking at the sumptuous warmth of her arousal.
“Yeah,” she breathed, hands running over his chest and arms. “I’m not about to turn down dream sex. No way, mister.” It was a little strange, knowing sex first hand with Angel, to now be once again enjoying it in her sleep and having to focus hard not to wake up. With how good his fingers felt rooted so deeply within her, he didn’t make that easy, Angel lifting her leg over his hip and slotting himself between hers, pushing into her fluidly, the punch of his cock deep.
Their kisses swirled with lazy heat, his arms wrapped around her, hips driving into her slowly, turning her onto her back and then sitting up, clasping her to him. She hummed softly, kissing him between little exclamations of pleasure and words of love. God, how she missed him, wishing so hard that it was real, maybe a little too much, suddenly waking up to see sunshine filling the hotel room she was in, the soft tones of Dolores, the band’s singer who she was sharing the room with filtering in from the bathroom.  
“Well, somebody was having nice dreams, so!” she chirped, her soft Irish lilt amused. Shit! Had she sleep moaned? Oh, the embarrassment!
“Erm, yeah. Dreaming of my boyfriend,” she spoke, sitting up, Dolores’s smile huge as she came back in, pulling on her long, lace kimono over her shorts and vest.  
“Ahhh, and if I had a guy as lovely looking as your fella, I’d be dreaming of him all the time, too!” she laughed, squeezing a little hair cream into her hand before rubbing her palms together and distributing it through her long, amber coloured curls. Keri truly had never seen hair so beautiful before, Dolores a very photogenic subject of her photography.  
Their day was mostly filled by travelling to the next gig venue, Keri staying out of the way as the crew set up, taking candid pics of the band before grabbing herself an ice-cold beer and going to sit outside in the sunshine, working out the time difference. It would be morning back home, and while knowing her honey appreciated sleeping in, a certain two would be up.  
“Beets! How’s it going?” Frankie cried happily, still in her pyjamas as she answered the FaceTime call. “Damn, it’s so sunny there! We got clouds and humidity. It’s making my hair fluff!”
She giggled, witnessing the halo of fuzz surrounding Frankie’s usual silky straight tresses, Jaime suddenly coming into view, chewing through a large orange segment. “Hey love! Oh, look at that tan! You look so gorgeous!”
“Hey Jaime, aww, thanks!” she waved, her heart full, but tingling a little. She missed them so, so much. Sure, it was an opportunity she couldn’t have passed up, even garnering a little work here and there through her travels through the land of perpetual sunshine, people wanting their portrait pictures taken by a professional photographer, but to have left her loved ones behind was something she wasn’t unaffected by.  
They chatted for a short time before Frankie had to hit the laptop and continue the website building practice she was undertaking, Jaime also heading out to work. It was just as she’d ended the call that Keri suddenly remembered, she’d meant to ask the latter for a little insight into the significance of continuously seeing an obelisk in her mutual dreams with Angel.  
“Well, Google is the next best thing.” Calling up the search engine app, she typed her question in, receiving a few varying results. Most said the interpretation was sexual from the phallic structure of the obelisk, Keri wondering what on earth that meant, since it began appearing after them having sex in reality. Hmm. Perhaps not that. Unless it was a representation of how well they fitted sexually? Hmm. Perhaps that.  
“And I really fucking miss that big D.” she chuckled softly to herself, continuing to read.
It was also a sign of faith and spiritual significance, which Keri could possibly get on board with. Maybe it was there to show them that though separated, and likely to continue to be so as she embarked on further travel with her work, that they should have faith in their relationship, faith that it could work just fine, although they would be parted for longer periods at times.
“An obelisk looming up stately and cold in your dreams is the forerunner of melancholy tidings. For lovers to stand at the base of an obelisk, denotes fatal disagreements.”
That explanation was far more foreboding, yet she couldn’t understand what kind of fatal disagreement could possibly arise for them. Angel was doing well with being parted from her, he’d told her that and she believed him, but she couldn’t discount that perhaps they could have other issues in the future. A fatal disagreement, though? How ominously worded.  
Shaking it from her mind, she continued to enjoy her beer, joined by Luke, the band’s cheerful drummer, taking the cigarette he offered her with thanks.  
“I’m glad I’ve got you someplace quiet, mate,” he began, lighting up and handing over the petrol lighter to her. “So, me sister is getting wed in just over eight weeks, and well, I was gonna do the photography myself, being a little handy with a camera.” Her crinkled nose cracked him up. “Oi! I’m not that bad, so I’m not! You with that face!”
Her laughter continued. “Luke, stick a set of drumsticks in your hand and you’re pure fire, but a camera? Not so much.”
“You’re a cheeky shite, Keri Jane!” His words only encouraged her giggles, his huge, blue eyes widening. “Anyway, and it pains me to say this now, but you’re much better at it than me. So, I wanted to gift them a proper photographer for the wedding. Money is tight for them, but the bloody advance we got from the record company has lined me pockets nicely, so, and well, if I pay your air fare and hotel, would you consider doing it? Maybe gimmie a wee mate's rate, if that isn’t too much to ask?”
Going back to Ireland, getting to spend more time with the band and get paid for it? It was a no-brainer. “Alright, how is seven hundred dollars for you? I think that works out to about six hundred and fifty euros, which is literally half of what a wedding photographer would usually charge. I’ll give your sister and her new husband all of the images I take as well, she won’t have to choose between them like a lot of photographers stipulate.”
Luke offered his hand across the table. “Bloody got yourself a deal, Keri!” They shook on it, continuing to enjoy their beers in the sun, the tour manager Steph coming out and handing over a couple more. Life was so wonderful in her world at that moment, Keri only wishing that her love could be there to enjoy everything she was experiencing right by her side.
As the tour progressed, each night she’d fall asleep and almost always find Angel there waiting for her, but nothing, absolutely nothing could feel as amazing as it did as she ran through the airport towards him after landing from a long flight, her man there at 3am to collect her from San Diego.  
“Oh my god, I missed you so much!” she cried, overjoyed to be in his arms again, Angel lifting her, her legs wrapping around his waist as she let her hand luggage drop to the floor, her arms wound around him in a tight hug he reciprocated.  
“I missed you too, tiny girl.” They fell into a kiss, absolutely overjoyed to be reunited before he finally placed her down and they walked hand in hand to go and collect her luggage. She’d left her Jeep with him, so that he’d be able to drive it up to collect her, having a vehicle capable of getting her suitcase and photography equipment into, all of which she checked meticulously after pulling it from the luggage carousel.  
As soon as they got to her car, his yawns dictated that she’d be the one driving them home, Keri still on Australia time, so feeling wide away and fresh. Angel slept for around forty of the fifty-five minutes it took to get down to Santo Padre. As soon as they were back in his house, though, sleep was the last thing on his mind, Keri thrown over his shoulder and carried to the bedroom.  
“Oh no, mister, there’ll be none of this.” Turning him onto his back, Keri sat herself astride him, her hand curling around his neck and pushing him down, leaning to him. “I’m in charge, and you’re going to lie back and enjoy it, all the energy I have, being on Australia time.”  
Being pinned beneath his gorgeous girl; what wasn’t to like about that scenario? “Alright, but I gotta request if I’m staying on my back. You bring that pretty little pussy right on up here and take a seat on my face.”  
Fair. After they’d shed their clothes, it was exactly what she did, too, Angel noticing immediately that something was different in so much as that all she had remaining there was a narrow landing strip of hair. “Oh, someone got a haircut.”
“Well, more of a ‘hair yanked out at the roots’, yeah. You like?”
He laid a kiss to her slit. “I like however it comes, baby. What made you decide on almost bare?”  
She shuddered softly at feeling his tongue skim a little lick over her outer lips, kisses beginning to wet her inner thigh. “Dolores and I got talking, and she said it’s a more intense sensation when you have someone going down on you. We also discussed something else that adds to that, which you’ll notice if you look a little closer.”  
Curious, he gently rubbed through her slit with his fingertips, finding exactly what she meant when they made contact with the tiny, pink titanium ring pierced through her clit hood. “Woah. That’s so fucking sexy! Shit, imma have so much fun with this.”  
Keri buzzed with excitement at wanting to know exactly how much different it would feel for her, to experience his mouth without the barrier of the soft, trimmed hair there. Her brand-new piercing, too, which whenever she’d found some time alone, she’d had a little play with and decreed was worth the initial pain of the piercing, almost breaking Dolores’s fingers with how tightly she’d hung on while having it done.  
His first licks were teasing, running over the newly bare flesh, Keri closing her eyes, the tickle of his tongue a much different feel than before. God, it made it even more intense, the flat, firm lick he then laid through her folds making her thighs quiver, the tip of his tongue landing against the piercing, beginning to move it back and forth.  
The wave of pleasure that began to skitter over her nerve endings was unlike anything she’d experienced before, Angel moving his tongue in a way that kept wet warmth massaging her bud, while the ring was continually moved back and forth, her nails grasping at his arms, a soft cry leaving her mouth. “Fuck, Angel. Fuck!”
A shiver ran through him at hearing her voice break upon his gasped name, his hands running up her body, a soft grasp fixing at each breast, rolling her nipples between his thumb and forefingers. “Get these pierced next.”
“Mmm, maybe,” she chuckled, the heat of his lips closing upon her clit and sucking sending her reeling. “Oh god, I missed that mouth!” The pleasure that streaked through her like a hail of comments did nothing but grow, flurries of tingles charging over her body, moaning uncontrollably at the sparks evoked by the suck of his lips.  
Releasing her, he beat his tongue back and forth over her little swollen bud, the pressure mounting, her body juddering as with a series of soft cries, she capsized completely, her waves breaking over his shore as her release washed over her in ceaseless waves.
While she might have been the one in charge, as Angel began to lick at her once again as her sensitivity subsided, Keri surrendered completely, her petal soft flesh rubbed wetter by the inquisitions of his tongue as he gave her clit lots of attention, making it stand even harder.  
He got off on the fact she had a piercing down there greatly, seeing it as something extra he got to play with while participating in his favourite pastime. If he could, he’d go down on her all day, every day. There was nothing he loved more than a mouthful of cunt.
Beating the tip of his tongue against her clit he also moved the ring back and forth, making her gasp and moan as pleasure burned through her like a tempest, wildfire personified, her thighs brushing his face as she writhed against his mouth
“Oh, fuck! Right there, please don’t stop!” she cried out as she felt him tug at her piercing, his deep, lust drenched groan arousing her even further. She loved how turned on it made him whenever he went down on her. A man who thrived upon pleasing a woman with his mouth was eroticism incarnate.
“Stop? No way, mamas. Ain’t happening.” Demonstrating such, he wrapped his mouth around her entire cunt and gave it a good, hard suck, biting gently at her labia too as she wiggled against his face and cried out ferally.
He then continued to go back to what he was doing, each fast, hard lick against her clit having her panting and moaning as she dragged her nails through his hair, feeling herself getting ridiculously wet for him. Testament to that, when he slid his fingers into her it was like cutting through liquid silk, fucking her with them hard and watching her become completely carried away with everything he inflicted upon her.
The feeling of her aroused gush dampening his chin as he continued to lick at her vigorously had him so turned on, he could barely stand it, pulling his fingers out and sucking her milky wetness off them before burying his tongue inside her and moaning as he felt her legs close against his head. His tongue rolling over her clit again and again as it lapped up her silky nectar had her reeling, lost in the storm of pleasure, her body shaking.
Lightning bounced at the base of her spine as he sucked on her harder, the vacuum of his lips sending her straight to her second crest, ecstasy glimmering through her as her hips bucked, riding out her orgasm against his mouth, panting in exertion. “Fuck! Oh, fucking hell, you’re too fucking good at that!”
Looking up at her, kissing her inner thigh, he grinned. “I know. Now, you gonna ride me into this bed, or what? Because shit, baby. That got me so damned hard.”  
Moving to straddle his hips, she slid down upon the thick, hard erection waiting for her, kissing her way back up his chest, her hand moving to clutch his throat. “Yeah, he likes being held down.”
His eyebrows fluttered. “Yeah, I do. Mostly though, I just like having you home.”
Now there was a notion she could definitely agree with.
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