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#EVEN IN ANDROMEDA WHERE WE LITERALLY ALL COME HERE TOGETHER AS ONE
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Happy STS! Today I have a riddle: what comes first? The title or the story? 🤭 To expand, I'd love to hear the creation order of one (or several) of your stories. Did you think of characters first? Plot? World? What was the final piece?
Hi sweetheart!!
I can tell you that title ALWAYS comes last. Characters ALWAYS show up first and they tell me the plot...their names sometimes are known when they show up, and sometimes not.
Now for a few of how they showed up....
@theimperiumchronicles
The name has changed...uh...ummm...five times on this one...
This one has a LOOOOOOOOONG history....
Way back in 2001 my friends and I were roleplayers. We did multi-paragraph roleplay in storyform. It would read like a story, not just actions of the characters. Brie was born then. She was a lot different back then. Then in 2014, "Sanctuary - The Society" was formed. Brie, Cruz, Talon, Dez, and Talia were part of that group along with a few others who I don't write. Except for Brie, the others were written by my friends. I continue their characters w/their permission. This is when they started morphing into their current form.
In 2018, they left roleplaying...I continued. I changed the name of the story. I changed it again in 2019. In 2022 when I came here, I changed it for the final time to The Imperium Chronicles based on the name of the realm where most of the stories are based. The stories you are reading now can be traced alllll the way back to those started back in 2014. Those stories are the canon backstory of today's stories.
*****
@the-andromeda-effect
I watch a lot of crime family dramas. The idea for the plot came with the characters. The characters even showed up with their face claims. When it came to their names, they knew what they wanted them to mean, we just had to go find them. I love mythology and symbolism. As I was thinking about the story and the plot, it reminded me some of the story of Andromeda and Persius.
@devil-in-the-details-ay
This one started with a prompt
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Now, the quotes here will never be used, but it got me thinking...."what if Death was in a relationship?" Then all of a sudden POOF...I had Death and his wife....and they came with the whole scenario of how they got together. Then came the symbolism in all of it. The name is also a play on words. The old saying "The Devil Is In The Details", and that is true for the story. While the literal Devil/Lucifer includes details in the contract of their forced marriage, there are details of Yara's life that will not only indict Lucifer and those who helped him...and also who indicate who she truly is. @battlegroundofdreams
For this one the name is pretty straightforward and game straight out of the plot. Once again the characters showed up for this one with their plot in hand and it came from mythology and from working on some other things and researching. And a "what if" that I started thinking on. The characters even came with their names this time, so all 3 happened at the same time.
@magical-mistakes-vm
This one was pretty easy. Again this one started with a prompt.
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I did rephrase this in the first chapter of the story. As soon as I read the prompt, Vollrath and Mahala appeared in my head...again, their names would come later. The whole story started playing out...and the name of the WIP came at almost the same time because they make a serious of mistakes....
@behindthesemasks
This wasn't the first name of this WIP. The chapters I'm posting now were written a few years ago and I made changes much later in the story that require me to fix earlier chapters, which is why it's taking longer to post them. The characters, FC, and names came back in 2018. The name came recently and is because they repeatedly reference the reality of who people are behind the figurative masks they wear to hide who they truly are.
@princess-of-thieves-id
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Obviously this one kind of got turned on it its head. She hates Diyan, and loves the knight that helped her escape. Although the pirates on Diyan's ship eventually fall in love with her. There is still the possibility of a thrupple, but Arik growls whenever I consider this and Inara rolls her eyes. So, at the moment that is a hard NO... Inara is a Princess and the pirates are thieves...so the name was pretty obvious.
@tapperhet-em
Meeri and her boys showed up with their story just randomly as I was working on something for Imperium. I originally considered incorporating them into Imperium but they did not like that idea. They are too human and did not want to be paranormal/supernatural. Meeri and Einar had seen their names in my Pinterest and knew them, the others I had to find. Lorcan knew his FC and Melba knew her name.
Tapperhet in English means Valor. It is Finish, which is the same language that all of their names are from. Since all of the guys were knights it just seemed to fit and I felt it was perfect
@whileyouwait-dm
This one came out of a screw up in automation of something at my work. It was nothing serious, but with all of the talk of AI and the "rise of the machines"...and for some reason my OC's happening to deal w/the afterlife and magic...my brain went to "what would happen if there was an algorithm that sorted souls when they died". Then "what if it fucked up". Then "what would happen to a pure soul in hell". And...here we are! LOL The name obviously is a reference to Djall finding something for Miriana to do while she waits for him to find out where she was supposed to go...or at least how she ended up there really.
@mystsoftime
This was part of Anna's backstory from Imperium that got dropped when I brought her to Imperium. It was part of her story as a roleplay character with my previous partner. However, most of those elements have been changed other than Anna (now Renata) being the reincarnated wife of the male head of a supernatural group. Everything else I have revamped into something new. Names, the location, the pantheon, what the group does, the relationships of everyone, everything else changed. But this was an idea I was in love with exploring. I originally had not intended for Renata and Dante to be a thing, but as I started writing, they decided they were...and I'm just the one with actual fingers. Since nothing else resembles that original story now, it only makes sense. The first and last names all have meaning in the story. As I was putting it all together, the name just kind of fell into place.
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dukeofriven · 8 months
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I am making my third attempt to beat Mass Effect Andromeda: I could—and have! (just ask @rahkshirock)—ranted and dissected this fascinating failure for hours: you can see the good game in here, but it's let down on almost every front: from game-breaking bugs, bad glitches, dreadful writing, unfinished mechanics, the obnoxious absence of simple QOL fixes (like shutting SAM up about mining): the list goes on and on. The game was notoriously scrapped after three years and slapped-together afresh in 18 months, but while that excuses certain dev problems there's an extraordinary lack of thought in this game that even a crunched dev time can't excuse: it's not flawed at the firmament per-se, but its broad execution is un-salvageable.
And one of things that's really sticking out to me on this playthrough is that the game is so desperate to re-create MET's famous esprit de corps that it shortcuts its way to the end-point and cuts-out all the work of befriending people. Shepard starts ME1 knowing a handful of crew memebers: Joker, Chakwas, Kaiden, Presley (who gets maybe ten lines of dialogue all-told), and Anderson. Everyone else, from Ashley to Zaeed, are strangers with whom she has to build a relationship. It's not always perfect: ME1's writing is up and down, and you can go from strangers to lovers with Liara in about three conversations, but at least the game realizes you ARE strangers to one-another.
Andromeda doesn't seem to get that. I am having my first conversations onboard the not-the-Normandy, and everyone already acts like A) I know them and B) they know me, as though I have some kind of prior reputation—you know, like Shepard did. In ME2 and 3. After she established a reputation. But Ryder knows exactly two people on board the Not-Normandy: Cora, and Liam (the worst person in the entire franchise), and she clearly doesn't know them well, since she acts surprised when Cora mentions the asari (which means she can never have spoken to Cora for longer than fifteen seconds), and well, no one one willingly talks to Liam if it can be avoided.
So all these people are strangers, but they are immediately bantering with Ryder like they're old friends. Hey Gil, who are you? My BFF, apparently, because I can ask him off the bat to dish the tea of everyone on board ("Vestra and Suvi are my girls." Gross. Don't be that kind of gay, Gil.) I know from context clues (and, y'know, having played the game) who Gil is and what he's doing on my ship, but other then maybe a throw-away line when I came on board, I don't know him and his role was not clearly defined. But he's already my friend. Suvi is already my friend. Liam, that gross creep, is all over me like we grew up together.
Hell, not fixate on Gil (who is, in the abstract, fine), but in our first convo, before I've spoken to anyone else on the ship, I am chatting amiably to Gil about how great it is that Cora is a hardass because someone's got to keep this 'zoo' of a crew in line.
That is not a sentiment I hold. This is crew is not a zoo: especially not at this point, where I literally don't know anyoneand nothing chaotic has happened. MEA is shor-tcutting storytelling: 'hoo boy, what a zany crew you have, aren't they so lovable' long before I've even assembled the crew and I'm still three members short: including, crucially, Pissbee, who is second only to Liam in being an obnoxious gross mess who actually makes the place chaotic. But wallflower Suvi. Slightly snarky but relatively quiet Kallo? The asari doctor with no personality? Seriously reserved Jaal (who we don't know yet but will be onboard soon enough.)
But this is not a motley crew of outcasts and weirdos they way ME2 was: a game in which you can pick-up ten extra weirdos. In MEA I actively add only three squad members to my group, all the rest come packed with Not-Normandy, and other than couch creep their not all that weird or out-there. MEA wants you to think they are because of how obnoxiously casual everyone is (a worrying harbinger of modern live-action Star Trek shows), but, y'know, the writing's not there.
There was a line I saw on an old MEA reddit thread that was something like "not everyone is going to like every character": ME as a franchise has always had this problem, broadly speaking, in that I can't choose to not be at least friendly with most crewmemebers (Anderson is not my friend, he let me down multiple times, why the fuck does ME3 think he's the dude I want to finish the game with FUCK OFF), but the relationships are at least yours to build, and theoretically if you choose not to engage with them you get to get almost everyone killed in ME2 by not having a deep relationship with anyone. Adding in whoever you killed in M1 (go with Kaidan, at least the space racist has a personality), that's a lot of people you can ditch if you want. Sure you end up playing most of ME3 with just Vega, EDI and Liara, plus the two minimum loyalty mission folks from ME2, but you can play the game is such a way that Hackett is the only person who survives the MET (and rightly so).
I know, I know: Mea was cancelled and so could do the longer game character thing, but that's not my point: my point is that you don't have to make friends.
But MEA is so panicked that you might not instantly connect with its quirky cast that it doesn't let you get to know them: they're all your friends, even the crusty krogan. and it is both disorienting and kind of intrusive. I don't like this level of instant familiarity: it feels false, it feels inauthentic, and it makes the characters seem pushy. Yeah, the Not-Normandy is not a military ship, but you are being too immediately casual for my comfort level.
Also, to Liam specifically: I CAN FEEL YOUR DICK ON MY ASS STEP THE FUCK OFF GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME YOU ARE TOO CLOSE YOU GODDAMN CREEP.
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Introduction
Hello, everyone! I’m Bloody Sky (or Bloody the Sky, depending on where you find me), and I actually enjoy to blog, but haven’t really worked on one for awhile. I decided to change that by joining Tumblr here! 
More about me
I’m a huge gamer. I’ve been gaming from a very young age, thanks to my dad also being a gamer. The story goes that I first started playing games when I was almost 3 years old, but heck if I remember if that’s accurate or not. Ha ha. Another plus to my dad being a gamer was that I was able to grow up with gaming, as it evolved. And I’m thankful that I still get to game with him to this very day. We often play games co-op. Games like Diablo, Torchlight, Destiny, GTA Online, The Division, etc.
Now days, as you might be able to guess from my profile picture and blog name, I like to hunt for trophies on PlayStation when I’m gaming. Trophies, if you don’t know, are PlayStation’s achievements. Before PlayStation released trophies, I was also quite into XBox achievements. But now days, I mostly just focus on PlayStation trophies. Although I prefer to game on PlayStation, I still love any and all games and consoles! I still play on XBox and Nintendo systems, as well as PC, of course! If your wondering, my dad is also a bit of a trophy hunter too, although he’s not as into it as I am. We have actually got a few platinums together, playing fully co-op, in games like Army of Two: The Devil’s Cartel, Diablo III and Killing Floor 2. A lot of people think I am kind of a weird gamer, because I play so many genres, instead of just sticking with a main theme. But that’s just how I am. I will literally try out any game, if I think it looks fun or entertaining enough. I play anything from snore inducing simulation games to edge-of-your-seat action games. I'll go from playing Farming Simulator one minute to Battlefield the next. I just play what I like. And what I like is all over the board. Ha ha. Usually though, my favorite games tend to be RPGs. Most of the time I’m a pretty chill person, just looking to have fun and make jokes. Due to this, I usually play games to just relax and have fun (where those simulation games I mentioned come in handy, ha ha). I usually don’t play games that are frustrating, or play games on the hardest difficulty. Unless I’m going for a specific trophy, of course. Ha ha.
Speaking of trophy hunting, I am not as hardcore of a platinum hunter as I used to be. I still love to hunt for trophies, don’t get me wrong. It’s just I normally don’t go out of my way to tackle platinum trophies as much as I used to. Back in the PS3 days, I would usually get at least one platinum every one or two months. Now days I usually get maybe 3 a year. Ha ha. Main reason is because my gaming backlog has gotten so large. So now days I usually just get the trophies I can get easily enough, just by playing through the story, and move on. I might go back and tackle any quicker trophies I missed, but that’s usually it. I typically only get the platinum trophy for games I really like now days, or ones that you can get basically by beating the story, and don’t require multiple playthroughs or tons of extra hours grinding.
My favorite games
It's hard to list off my favorite games, or series, because I always forget a few. But here are some, to help let you know what kind of games I like. Note that they are NOT in any kind of order.
The Witcher series
Yakuza series
Judgment series
Super Mario series
World of Warcraft (now World of Warcraft Classic)
Guild Wars
Battlefield series (favorites being Battlefield 2 and Bad Company 2 for online Bad Company 1 for campaign)
Uncharted series
Halo series
Mass Effect series (even Andromeda, just not as much as the trilogy)
Mortal Kombat (to play offline, because I am terrible at fighting games lol)
A lot of WWE, and other rasslin, games
Fight Night series
GTA series
Red Dead series
Bully (Bully 2 when, Rockstar?)
Fallout series
Elder Scrolls series
Cyberpunk 2077
Pokemon series (favorite being FireRed/LeafGreen)
Destiny series (when playing with friends lol)
Diablo series
Torchlight series
Call of Duty series (mainly the PS3 era titles)
The Sims series
Port Royale series
Dead by Daylight (killer mainly)
The Last Remnant
Lost Odyssey
NieR
Assassin's Creed series
Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic (2 is good too)
Batman: Arkham series
Deus Ex series
Dead Rising series
The Darkness
Star Wars: Galactic Battleground (with Clone Campaign expansion)
RollerCoaster Tycoon series
Rock N Roll Racing
Saturday Night SlamMasters
A Nightmare on Elm Street (NES game)
Contra series
North & South
Rampart
Rampage
Dessert Commander
Advance Wars series
Tetris
Puzzle Quest: Challenge of the Warlords
Dragon Age: Origins
Eternal Darkness
Dead Space
Gears of War series
Command and Conquer series (mainly the Red Alert games)
Warcraft series
Cursed Treasure series
Kingdom Rush series
Knightfall 2
Aliens Versus Predator 2 (2001 PC game)
Aliens Versus Predator: Extinction
I'll stop it there. I could probably keep going, if I kept thinking about games I like to play, but... Yeah. Ha ha. Like I said, I'll stop there.
Things you'll probably read on this blog
Probably a lot about gaming and my PlayStation trophies. Probably trophy updates, like my latest platinum trophy. If you don't know, you get a "platinum trophy" on PlayStation, when you get all the trophies (achievements) in said game. Although not all games have platinum trophies, but most seem to these days. But not everything on this blog will be trophy related. Heck, some might not even be PlayStation related. Like I still have urges to play World of Warcraft Classic from time to time, so I could see me posting some blog posts about that from time to time. And maybe I will post a more personal blog post from time to time, but those will probably be rare. And even the personal ones will probably at least still be somewhat about gaming. lol I think I will stop this blog post here. Thanks for reading and I hope you stop by again from time to time! I will probably post a lot in the coming days, just to get some content on here. I did have an old Google website, but I stopped updating that when they changed to the new Google Sites, so I might post some of my old posts from over there to here. I will, of course, update them, if they need to be, and not just copy and paste them.
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The funniest thing about what Ashley says about everyone always considering their own species as more important is that it's 100% throughout the entire series including Andromeda.
There is not a single character in the entire mass effect series that I can think of that ever treats it as "we are one galactic people" type of view over going "my people my people etc." You just don't get any opportunities to criticize it.
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wistfulrat · 3 years
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a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm
[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.
but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]
part 2: dramas
mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known
includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.
(Un)wanted by @aibidil​ - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.
Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth. 
Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home” 
Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson​ - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line
Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered​ - 153k - T  this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.
Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise​​ - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.
Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.
Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3​ - E  “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.
A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).
Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx​ - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!
Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.”  i cry
The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -
[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]
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marauders-venting · 3 years
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Our Last Summer (Part 1)
pairing: wolfstar (sirius x remus)
genre: fluff & angst
warnings: none
words: 2267
note: based on the song ‘Our Last Summer’ by ABBA
a/n: this isn’t the whole thing but I haven’t finished it yet and it’s getting really long anyway so I decided to just post it in parts (i know it says fluff & angst and there’s no angst here but be patient it will come)
I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all. Walks along the Seine laughing in the rain, our last summer, memories that remain… I can still recall our last summer, I still see it all. In the tourist jam round the Notre Dame our last summer walking hand in hand
Sirius woke up smiling. Remus’ arm was still draped over him. He turned around and kissed him on the nose.
“Hey,” he whispered. “Are you awake?”
“I am now,” Remus groans.
“Sorry.”
“No, don’t be,” Remus says, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “I like waking up next to you.” Sirius’ smile widened.
“I like waking up next to you too,” he said. He kisses Remus softly before turning to grab his wand off his bedside table and Summoning two cups of tea. He hands one to Remus and then opens the drawer of his bedside table and pulls out a large packet of dark chocolate.
“Happy anniversary,” Sirius says, giving Remus the chocolate.
“Best present ever,” Remus says, taking a bite; Sirius can’t tell if he’s being sarcastic or not.
“The day is just beginning,” he says, sipping his tea.
“Really? So what do you have planned?”
“You’ll just have to wait and see,” Sirius says mysteriously.
---------
“No way,” Remus said, shaking his head. “There is no fucking way I’m getting on that death trap.”
“Yes you are,” Sirius said, taking his hand and pulling him closer to the motorcycle. “Come on, it’ll be fun.”
“No,” Remus said. “Why can’t we just Apparate? Or take a taxi?”
“What’s a taxi?” Sirius asked.
“I swear to god, I’ve already told you at least five times,” Remus says, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Well, it doesn’t matter because we’re riding my motorcycle,” Sirius said.
“Nope,” Remus said. “Not fucking happening.”
“Please,” Sirius pouted. “It’s not illegal, I have a license. And I promise I won’t fly. I’ll stay on the ground the whole time.” Remus still looked hesitant. “I even customised your helmet myself.” He pulled out a black helmet with ‘Moony’ written on the side in flaming block letters. It brought a little smile to Remus’ face.
“Ugh fine,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “But this is a one-time thing.”
“Yeah, yeah, if you say so,” Sirius said. “Now come.” They climbed on the motorcycle and Remus wrapped his hands around Sirius’ waist. “Normally I would say hold on tight,” Sirius said, “but if you hold any tighter you might just squeeze me to death.”
“And if I don’t hold this tight I might just fall to my death,” Remus replied. “Now shut up and drive; I want to get this over with.”
And suddenly, they’re on the road and holy fuck Remus is terrified. He’s resting his head on Sirius’ shoulder watching the cars around them. He squints his eyes, trying to make everything appear blurry (hoping it’ll make this a little less terrifying) and yes, he’s afraid but he has to admit that the blur of lights from all the cars is actually quite beautiful. That is, until they climb on the highway and Sirius picks up the speed. Now it’s just terrifying. Remus closes his eyes and buries his head in the crook of Sirius’ neck. The smell of Sirius and the feel of his beating pulse calms Remus down a little. He knows Sirius wouldn’t suggest this if it was that dangerous; Sirius would never let anything bad happen to him.
Remus doesn’t open his eyes until he feels them slowing to a stop. When he does finally look around, he finds himself in the parking lot of what looks like a small park.
“Hey,” Sirius says, reaching a hand back and stroking Remus’ thigh. “Are you ok?”
“I’m alive, if that’s what you mean,” Remus says, letting go of Sirius so he can climb off the motorcycle. Sirius helps Remus down and takes his helmet.
“Come on, it wasn’t that bad, was it?”
“Yes, it was that fucking bad,” Remus says. “I’m never riding that thing again.”
“Hey, ‘that thing’ has a name, you know,” Sirius said, arms crossed.
“Right, sorry,” Remus said, rolling his eyes. “I’m never riding Elvendork again.”
“Wow, I can’t believe you actually remembered their name,” Sirius said, laughing.
“I can’t believe you actually named your motorcycle,” Remus said. “Now tell me what we’re doing here.”
“Come with me,” Sirius said, pulling him by the hand into the park.
“Where are we?” Remus asks, looking around.
“You’ll see,” Sirius said. He led Remus to the far end of the park where several bushes and trees made a hedge that seemed to show the end of the park. Sirius got on his hands and knees and pushed the plants out of his way as he crawled into the hedge.
“Are you serious right now?” Remus asked. As soon as the word was out of his mouth he regretted it.
“I’m always Sirius,” came the reply. “Now come on.” Remus sighed and crawled through the hedge. When he came out on the other side he saw Sirius sitting on the grass.
“What is this place?” Remus asked, looking around. If he was being honest, it looked like a little heaven. Everything was so green. The grass, the trees, the hedge they came through. It looked like something out of a painting. The colourful flowers from the trees littered the floor; Remus picked one up, walked over to Sirius and put it in his hair.
“I used to come here when I was a kid,” Sirius said, effectively surprising Remus. “I know hardly any of my stories start like that but when I was… 9, I think, my cousin Andromeda was 15. And one summer she came over to our house and she asked my parents if she could take me somewhere. I don’t know what lie she told them but whatever it was they bought it. She brought me here. She told me that a friend of hers at school had shown her this place. His dad was a park ranger and he used to come here all the time as a kid. It was just close enough to my house that we could walk here and we’d spend all day playing here. She even learnt how to use muggle money so she could buy us food.”
“The last time we did it was the year before I started Hogwarts. She was seventeen then. She showed me magic. It was incredible. She did all kinds of spells to make plants grow and stuff. It was awesome. I’d never seen magic so… raw before. It was beautiful. But then she ran away with Ted Tonks and got burnt off the tapestry so there was no way my parents would let me see her. But she wrote to me a few times to tell me to meet her here. That was how I met Ted for the first time. Turns out he was actually the one who showed Andie this place. And I met Nymphadora here as well. I used to come here alone sometimes too. I tried to bring Regulus with me once but he was scared we’d get caught. The only good memories from my childhood… they’re all from this place. I just wanted to show it to you. I mean, you took me to your childhood home but… I mean you’ve seen the Potters’ house a million times. But I guess I wasn’t really a child by the time I moved there. So I guess… I don’t know, I just wanted to share this with you.”
“Thank you,” Remus said, taking Sirius’ hand and pressing his lips to the back of his hand, “for bringing me here, I mean. This place is beautiful. Are you the only one who knows about it?”
“Oh, I doubt it,” Sirius said. “I mean, it’s not very visible but there’s no way that nobody else has ever found this place. But it was always empty whenever I came here. Which wasn’t that often I suppose.” Sirius flopped back onto the grass, dragging Remus with him. They lay on their backs looking at the sky, hands still clasped together.
“It looks like it’s going to rain,” Remus said. Sirius shrugged. It was true; the clouds had been dark all day and the smell of approaching downpour lingered in the air. But Sirius had been keeping his fingers crossed that the rain would wait until later tonight so that he could carry out his plans without any disruption.
“You hungry? We could go get some food if you want. There are muggle shops nearby. But you’ll have to handle the money cause I still have no clue how to do that.”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, if Andromeda could learn I’m sure you can too,” Remus said, as they left their little garden of Eden. “Come on, I’ll teach you.” They walked down the street looking for a coffee shop or a food vendor nearby. They found a bakery selling sandwiches so they bought two, Remus bought tea, Sirius bought coffee, and they returned to the hidden corner of the park.
“Do you get how to use the money now?” Remus asked as they walked back.
“You’ve taught me a million times, Moony, it never sticks,” Sirius said. “You just have to resign yourself to the fact that your boyfriend is a dumb bitch, no matter how hot he is.”
“Oh don’t worry, I accepted your lack of intelligence and general common sense a long time ago, Pads,” Remus said, putting an arm around Sirius as they sat back down on the grass, pulling the sandwiches out of the paper bag and laying everything out on the floor in front of them.
“No, no, you’ve got it wrong,” Sirius said, shaking his head. “I am intelligent but I’m still a dumb bitch too.”
“You’re saying you’re an oxymoron?”
“Wait, I never say I was a moron—”
“No, not a moron, an oxymoron.”
“What does that mean?” Sirius asked.
“It’s like something that juxtaposes itself,” Remus said.
“Juxta-what now?” Sirius said. Remus rolled his eyes.
“You need to read more. It’s something that contradicts itself. Phrases like awfully nice or saying that someone was found missing.”
“Oh,” Sirius said. “So yeah, that’s what I’m saying. You’re so smart, Moony. You know so many big words.”
“Literally just pick up a book,” Remus said, laughing and kissing him softly. “I promise, it’ll do you wonders.”
“Why do I doubt that?”
“Because you’re an idiot.”
“Oh we’ve circled back to that now, have we?”
---------
That was how they spent most of the day. Talking, laughing, joking, kissing, lying on the grass. It seemed like the day really was going to be perfect. Until it started raining. At first, the drops were light and they weren’t bothered by it, but soon the rain became heavy and loud and they were both getting soaked. Remus didn’t mind getting wet; he had bigger worries on his mind.
“We’re not riding a motorcycle in the rain, are we?” Remus asked, his concern leaking through his voice.
“We can wait for the rain to stop if you like,” Sirius said. “Hey, you know, it’s actually good that we came here on Elvendork because we can cut through the traffic on our way home.”
“What? No, no, no, no, no,” Remus said, shaking his head. “There’s no way that’s safe.”
“It’s perfectly safe, Moony, I’ve done it a million times,” Sirius insisted. “Just keep your eyes closed like you did before. It was cuter like that anyway.” Remus felt himself blush.
“I’m sorry,” Sirius said out of the blue. “I didn’t know it would rain.” He looked genuinely upset; Remus wasn’t sure why.
“Of course you didn’t know, Pads,” Remus laughed. “You can’t control the weather. Everything will be fine. We’ll just wait out the rain before riding home.”
“That’s not what I—” Sirius started, “never mind.”
“What is it?” Remus asked, covering Sirius’ hand with his own.
“I just… I wanted everything to be perfect today. I’m sorry I ruined our anniversary.”
“Ruin it? Sirius, what are you talking about? You didn’t ruin anything.”
“But… it’s raining,” Sirius said confused.
“Yes and? Rain is, like, the most romantic thing ever.”
“It is?”
“Once again,” Remus sighed, “I would like to reiterate how desperately you need to read a book.”
“Well, I’m sorry we can’t all be addicted to romance novels.”
“Oh shut up and kiss me.” Sirius laughs and lets his lips meet Remus’. They’re both drenched to the bone but neither one of them could care any less. Sirius’ hand brushes Remus’ cheek as he wraps his arms around Remus’ neck pulling him closer. Remus’ hands are on Sirius’ waist, and they slide down to his hips. Sirius’ shirt had ridden up a bit from lifting his hands to reach Remus’ neck and Remus’ fingertips brush Sirius’ bare skin — which is wet and slippery from the rain — making Sirius shiver and sigh. When they break apart, Sirius brings his lips to Remus’ ear.
“Besides,” he whispers, as Remus runs a hand through Sirius’ wet hair, “who needs romance novels when I’ve got the best romance story in the world.” Remus felt a flutter of pure happiness and smiled. He kissed Sirius’ jaw, right beneath his ear.
“Happy anniversary,” he whispered. Sirius sighed in response. They stand there in the rain, wrapped in each other’s arms, dancing slowly to the sound of the rain splashing and pattering on the leaves of the trees around them.
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rogue-durin-16 · 3 years
Text
THINGS NEVER GO AS PLANNED (Part VI/VII)
"the downfall"
Summary: After Fred's death, George and Y/n lean on each other to carry on. This wasn't the most brilliant idea, though; George was pretty much in love with the girl, and Y/n— well, she had been dating Fred prior to the Battle of Hogwarts.
Pairing: George Weasley x Reader
Genre: angst mostly
Tags:
Suggested by: @crispykittywitch
Things never go as planned: @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @beautyschoo1dropout @s1ut4georgeweasley @sunshineandshadows @missmulti @accioweaslcy @andreaareynoso @georgeweasley16 @dianarte @skarlettmikaelson
Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @just-here-to-escape-from-reality
Warnings: language, allusions to sex
A/N: my apologies for keeping y'all waiting for this one darlings, but here comes the next part YAYY! Enjoy <3
Prologue: the aftermath
Part I: sleepless nights
Part II: candy floss
Part III: shock therapy
Part IV: wrong name
Part V: the perfect excuse
Part VII: apart
Epilogue: I still love you
Rogue-durin-16 masterlist
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He had left me in the room that morning, alone, with regret and guilt straining my chest, with embarrassment and panic heaving over me, my only company being a terrible headache and a sore body.
I was still waiting for him to come back. Of course, he still lived in the apartment, but the day after, he slept at Shell Cottage because Bill needed help with the chores, and the next night at the Burrow because Molly had asked to keep an eye on 'the kids' —the kids being Ginny, Harry, Ron and Hermione— while she and Arthur were off to visit Andromeda, and at Lee's because Angelina was away and they were going to have a boys' weekend; in summary, he managed to avoid stepping into the flat while I was in there for an entire week.
I would be lying if I said the idea of moving out hadn't crossed my mind, but I knew I was being dramatic— we were being dramatic; we were adults, even if we forgot about it more often than not, and adults talk things out, so I decided to confront him at the only place I would manage to corner him; the shop.
When I descended from the office on the second floor, I spotted the ginger turning the 'CLOSED' to face the glass door. "Oi!" His head snapped to me as I climbed downstairs and he instantly walked to the shelves on the opposite side. "Can I have a word?" I requested, following him, only for George to move on to another shelf.
"Right now I'm quite busy." He replied, seemingly absent-minded as he pretended to check the products in front of him.
"This is important." I insisted, moving to stand besides him.
Not fast enough, though, because he was off to yet another part of the shop as soon as I got close. "I'm sure it can wait."
"You know it can't," I assured intently, stalking after him, only for him to speed up his own pace, moving from product to product without stopping too long in front of him. "George I'm- Oi, stop! We need to talk about this!"
"Well maybe I don't wanna talk about this!" He exclaimed, taking big steps under one of the stairs in order to shamelessly dodge the hand with which I had reached out to stop him.
"George Weasley don't run away from me!"
"I'm not running away from you!"
"You're literally RUNNING AWAY!"
He stopped circling the counter and stood across from me, slamming his palms over the till. "ALRIGHT, LOVE!" for the first time, I didn't like the way the name dripped off his tongue. "Let's talk about how we accidentally FUCKED! That's what you want so badly, isn't it?!" Flush crept up his neck and ears, and I couldn't tell if it was from anger or from timidness. "Go on, darling, lead the bloody way!"
I felt my own cheeks going red, partly because of his straightforward statement but also because I genuinely had never heard George raise his voice like he had just done.
"Cat's got your tongue now?!" My stuttering seemed to fuel his anger more. "C'mon, Y/n, talk! You wanted to talk!"
"SHUT THE HELL UP, GEORGE!" He clenched his jaw as his freckles drowned in a sea of pinkish red. "Yeah I want to talk! 'Cause that's what grown-ups do! We don't know how to act around each other so we just don't spend time together anymore— Fuck, I've barely seen you! AND WE. LIVE. TOGETHER!" I emphasised each word with stomps. "We can either pretend it didn't happen or talk it out to make sure we're on the same page, you choose but for Merlin's sake, don't avoid me!"
"OKAY!" His eyes widened, surprised at his own tone, and then he repeated in a softer, self-conscious one, "Okay." He breathed deeply and then added. "We're on the same page, right?" His eyebrows raised as he looked into my eyes. "It was... A mistake."
I should have noticed the uncertainty and hope in his voice, but I panicked and was too quick to respond, "Yeah! A massive mistake." My words stung my heart and, to my dismay, his own just as much. "Can we go back to being friends? Because I'm going crazy without you." I blamed our watery eyes to the argument we had had, and not to the fact that it had been a mistake.
He circled the counter and walked to me, hesitating before pulling me into a hug. "Can I...?" I tugged him closer, wrapping my arms around his middle. It took a moment for him to ease into my embrace, and I could tell we had fucked up our friendship for good. "It's alright, we'll make it right again." His words made me squeeze him tighter, as if he was about to vanish from my side.
And from then, we tried to make it right, we tried so hard, because it seemed so easy to make it wrong again.
Everytime we stood too close, everytime he leaned on to whisper something, everytime I helped him with his tie, our eyes would fall on each other's lips; I would sometimes drift off the conversation, staring too much at his mouth and hands, wandering if they would feel just as amazing as they had done while we were drunk.
"Y/n are you listening?"
"Uh yeah- I mean, no- sorry, what?"
I was so focused on trying to hide it that I didn't notice George was in the exact same situation, meaning that neither of us could give in, because we would go down together. In all honesty, it was doomed to happen at some point, we were just delaying the inevitable.
The moment came the last night of January, when George showed up in my room due to a really rough nightmare, and I, as always, invited him in so we could lay down together.
"Isn't this... Weird?" He murmured as we scooted closer. We had kept physical contact at bay for obvious reasons, and cuddling had been off the table since New Year.
"It doesn't have to be." I replied, my voice as quiet as his. "We've done this a thousand times."
"Right." He cleared his throat, averting his eyes from mines as we shifted in our places ever so slightly, trying to find a position where the situation turned less awkward.
And it happened, my mind got lost on the way his neck tensed, on the damp locks hanging over his forehead, sweaty due to the nightmare; on his plump lips, which he had just wetted with his tongue in the most subtle way. It was a nervous habit of him, something he would usually do, but that didn't make it any less hot.
"George..." I called his name without noticing, my heart hammering violently against my chest when his gaze landed on my eyes, quickly falling on my lips.
The next thing I knew was that he was holding my thigh over his hip, his other hand on the back of my neck while we shared a hungry kiss that, as soon as my hips involuntarily rocked against his, turned into something more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
GEORGE'S P. O. V.
The next morning we swore to each other that it was just another accident, that it would happen again.
And the next one too.
And the following.
The fifth time that happened, we agreed to call the situation a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing, well aware that it was an euphemism for the downfall of our friendship.
I had longed to be hers for so long, and it that moment, as I lay by her side in her bed, that wish seemed so close yet so far; I could reach out and my fingertips would touch her skin, yet I had never felt that distant towards her.
The moment my eyes were averted from her form, her gaze was laid on me. "You don't have to go."
"I know." I replied in a mumble, already sitting up and reaching for my pants. "But soon we'll have to get up, so I might as well do that and let you sleep." I didn't want to turn around, I didn't want to see her beautiful irises pleading for me to stay by her side, because I knew I would.
I saw on my peripheral vision her fingers attempting to carefully wrap around my wrist, and I was quick to stand up and walk to the door; sadly, I did not miss Y/n burying her face into the pillow, her hands fisting on the fabric ever so subtly.
She tried to hide her tears like that, and I agressively wiped mines as soon as I reached the corridor.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Morning, lady!" I light-heartedly greeted Y/n without turning my back to the making of our breakfast when I heard the steps approaching the kitchen.
In the morning it was easier to pretend everything was back to normal; usually, the refreshing sunlight and the drowsiness provided by a night of sleep were enough to wash away the sad truth of our relationship.
"Good morning, sir." She responded with a yawn, rubbing her eyes as she walked to stand besides me, leaning against the counter with her arms folded. "Smells good." She commented, leaning on to take a peek at the scrambled eggs.
I was about to make a cocky, playful comment when it dawned on me what she was wearing; it was my jumper, one of the old ones that I exclusively used for pyjamas.
I knew she didn't do it intently; I had left it on the floor the previous night, and it was probably the first thing she grabbed, but it struck a nerve.
I had seen a similar scene way too many times before; a sleepy, dishevelled Y/n entering the kitchen with an ugly Weasley jumper as only clothing, ready to start the bickering with an almost identical version of me who would be making breakfast.
My head then travelled to the thought that lately crossed my mind more often than not and my heart clenched; In Y/n's eyes, I was, most likely, just a poor replacement for Fred.
"You alright?" That worried furrow appeared between her brows too often lately. We were both walking on eggshells, and it got me on my nerves.
"You don't have to ask if I'm alright every time I'm quiet." I hadn't meant it to come out harsh or curt, but it definitely did.
"You're not quiet, you're overthinking." She responded with a tinge of hostility.
"What's to overthink?" I fought the need to raise my voice.
"Dunno, you tell me." She squinted her eyes with a scrutinising gaze directed to me.
"Can we not do this?" I almost pleaded; heated arguments had become a usual thing between us —yet another sign of the unfixable problem we refused to address.
Y/n was about to reply something that would lead us into a fight when the doorbell rung. "Mister Weasley?" I took that as a cue to go open the door to Verity, already dressed on her uniform. "The Valentine's Day products arrived, should I unpack them or..." Her eyes flickered behind me and her cheeks heated up. "Y/n—" When I looked over my shoulder, I felt my own face flushing out of embarrassment. Y/n was still my employee and Fred's ex, so Verity catching a glimpse of her dressed in my jumper wasn't the best thing for any of us. "I— am I— sorry, am I interrupting?"
"You're not interrupting." I assured her with a reassuring smile. "Leave the boxes on the puking pastries section, we'll be down in ten."
"Alright, sir." Her curious gaze travelled to Y/n one last time, and with that, she was rushing back down to the shop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
READER'S P. O. V.
The ache that had appeared on my chest the day after New Year would end up killing me, or at least it felt like that.
I had a dreadful gut feeling of knowing what caused that pain, but my mind refused to believe it was that, and kept pushing the sensation back into my heart day by day.
George had gone to relocate the puking pastries in the upper level of the shop so I could prepare the section with the Valentine's Day products.
My eyes dawned on the small packages of Amortentia. I knew it was a terrible idea but I needed to know.
I took a look around, making sure Verity wasn't near and George was up still, and brought one of the Amortentias under my nose. It didn't take long for the scents to besot me, and I had to put all my will on not to fall under the potion's spell.
The first smell to reach my nostrils was gunpowder; my heart skipped a bit when the next scent was vanilla.
Then strawberry and chocolate; candy floss cupcakes and George's cologne.
The tiny, heart-shaped bottle fell from my hands, scattering all over the shop's floor. "Shit!" I rapidly kneeled to pick the shattered glass when I realized it had echoed in the empty establishment.
"Oi! What was that?" George descended from the second floor, using the ladder. "Oh shit—" his hands took a hold on my bicep and pulled me away from the pool of pinkish pearl liquid that seemed to be attracting me. "Don't!" He warned Verity, who had attempted to jog in the potion's direction too. "Verity, can you bring me my wand?" The girl complied running up to the office.
In Verity's absence, George took the chance and cupped my cheeks, tilting my head up to check my eyes. "You alright?" I managed to give him a slow nod, my mind buzzing with the newly acquired information. "Getting the Amortentias was a bad idea, wasn't it?" I nodded again, producing a frown between his eyebrows. "No 'told you so'? Are you sure you're alright?" He chuckled nervously, his hands falling to his sides right in time for Verity to rush back to us.
"Here, Mister Weasley!"
"Thank you, darling." He politely replied, taking the wand and restoring the potion bottle in a swift movement. His eyes peeked at me again; I could see the worry growing on him. "Y/n-"
"I'm gonna go wash my face." The words hastily left my mouth before I dashed off to the restroom.
I closed the door behind me and took a look at the mirror; my pupils were blown and my cheeks pink. I ran the tab and splashed the water on my face a few times until the potion's mild effect was gone and my mind clear.
It was in that moment that it dawned on me that I was in love with George Weasley.
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riversofmars · 3 years
Note
I know you must have done wedding prompts before but perhaps one where the Doctor is trying to find something to wear but keeps coming up with all the stupid suits or other oddball clothes River dislikes and refuses River's suggestions of anything decent?
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Hello all! Just back from holiday in the middle of nowhere and brought loads of fanfic content back! To start us off, a silly prompt filler! I've had a lot of fun prompts that all felt a bit too short for one thing so I've mixed a whole lot of them together for a chaotic and utterly typical day in the life of River and the Doctor! Hope you like it!
Word count: ~3k
Rating: G
Read below or on AO3
A Day in the Life
“You’re up early,“ River commented, leaning in the doorway of the kitchen in the TARDIS. She had woken up alone which wasn’t an unusual occurrence, the Doctor didn’t sleep much. She was, however, surprised to find her busying herself in the kitchen, rather than tinkering around the TARDIS.
“Big day today!“ The Doctor announced with a grin and turned around, she was waving a spatula about, and batter had somehow found its way into her hair and onto her entire outfit. River couldn’t help but chuckle, her hearts warming at the adorable sight in front of her. She pushed herself off the doorframe and made her way over to her wife.
“Doesn’t have to be if you don’t want it to be. We have a time machine, after all,“ she pointed out, recalling the conversation they had had last night. They had been invited to a wedding, which sounded a lot more recent than it was. The wedding had of course taken place thousands of years ago and they had encountered the happy couple many times since, but that wasn’t to say they wouldn’t be at their wedding at some point. The Doctor seemed to have decided that the time had come.
“No, no, I think it would be a nice thing to do today,“ the Doctor nodded enthusiastically and turned back to the stove to flip what looked like a pancake.
“Feeling sentimental?“ River asked, wrapping her arms around her waist.
“Maybe…“ The Doctor gave a little shrug and proceeded to curse most colourfully when the pancake split as she flipped it, and batter splashed everywhere as it crashed down.
“Is this something to do with that new face of yours?“ River hummed, nuzzling into her neck placing a soft kiss there.
“Something to do with you not being stuck in the library anymore,“ the Doctor answered more sincerely than River would have anticipated.
“Fair point,“ she had to agree. Life had been very different for them since the Doctor had freed her from the Library. For the first time - with the exception of their years on Darillium - they were living together in linear time. No running, no spoilers, just time, little time together, and they both appreciated it more than they could ever find the words to say.
“Sit down, breakfast is almost ready,“ the Doctor smiled and turned her head for a brief kiss.
“What are you making?“ River asked, eyeing the mess on the stove.
“Pancakes,“ the Doctor answered, bewildered, as if it wasn’t obvious.
“You sure about that?“ River frowned. Not only the consistency was suspect, the colour as well, upon closer observation.
“Oi, of course I’m sure!“ The Doctor exclaimed. “Special recipe. It’s from one of those colony worlds, over the far side of the Andromeda Galaxy. See, they don’t have chickens there so the eggs they use are…“
“Right,“ River nodded and decided that was all she needed to know to skip breakfast.
“And they don’t have maple syrup either but there is this really nice substitute they got…“ The Doctor went on and reached for a fork. She scooped up a presumably baked sample of the pancake and dipped it into some odd-looking white liquid in a bowl. She held it out to River expectantly.
“I’m gonna have to take your word for it,“ River hummed and let go of her to put some distance between herself and the offending pancake.
“Try it!“ The Doctor insisted, evidently hurt at her rejection. “It’s lush!“ She took the bite herself, sampling her own cooking, and was careful not to let her expression give any indication on the quality of the food.
“No, I’m good, watching my figure, with the dress and everything,“ River waved it off with a polite smile.
“You’re silly. You look absolutely beautiful,“ the Doctor seemed put out that she would even think that. She grabbed her hand to hold her back while scooping up another bite for her.
“And I really don’t want to try that,“ River grimaced, and with a sigh the Doctor ate the second bite too.
“I've been slaving in this kitchen for hours!“
“And I am ever so grateful.“ River pecked her cheek trying her best to avoid the sticky syrup all over her lips.
“Not even a proper kiss?“ The Doctor pouted.
“Not like that!“ River pointed out the sticky liquid and quickly pulled away before she had to sample the cooking second hand.
“Oi!“ The Doctor called, disappointed.
“Let’s go and pick out our outfits then!“ River grinned, skipping back to their bedroom.
——
“No… no…“ River shook her head vehemently.
“What do you mean, no? This is brilliant,“ the Doctor insisted, taking a twirl in a rainbow-coloured suit.
“No, it’s not, I’m not having it,“ River put her foot down. This was the fourth outfit the Doctor had tried and things were only getting worse.
“But…!“ The Doctor looked down at herself, disappointed. She thought this time she had picked a winner. The main problem was that she just didn’t really see the difference or what River’s issue was, else she would have been able to make a better choice. She was left guessing.
“No! Get something else!“ River sighed, getting frustrated.
“How about this?!“ The Doctor picked up another suit from the rack and River groaned:
“It literally is the same suit but in a different colour!“
“Brings out my eyes though, doesn’t it!“ The Doctor tried to reason but River wasn’t having it:
“No!“ She exclaimed and marched over to the rack herself. “Here, let me have a look…“ She started pushing through the coat hangers. “How about this?“ She pulled out a dress for a change and held it out to her, it was sky blue and silky.
“No.“ The Doctor shook her head immediately.
“Or this?“ River chose a red dress next that she remembered wearing herself for some occasion or another.
“I’m not going to wear one of your dresses!“ The Doctor huffed, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
“They’re not all my dresses… I��m sure this one is my mum’s,“ River mused, looking at a green one that she only had vague recollections of.
“No!“ The Doctor retorted decisively.
“Then I think we have reached an impasse…“ River sighed, putting all the dresses back. “I think we need to go shopping,“ she announced.
“River…“ The Doctor rubbed her face, she didn’t like the idea of it at all. .
“Unless you settle on one of my suggestions?“ River suggested sweetly and the Doctor shook her head.
“No.“
“Then, we’re going shopping,“ River decided, not taking no for an answer.
“What if I don’t dress up?“ The Doctor suggested in a last ditch attempt.
“Or you could wear nothing at all…“ River suggested with a sly smirk, and the Doctor blushed. “But no-one but me would appreciate that, so we’re going shopping.“
“Fine…“ The Doctor huffed.
——
“Right, back to the TARDIS,“ River announced triumphantly.
“I can’t believe you've dragged me around the shops…“ The Doctor was carrying several bags and did her best to avoid bumping into people. It was incredibly busy. They had come to the biggest shopping centre in the universe, the shopping planet aptly called “Capitalism“, which was rather on the nose but at least the people knew what this place was all about.
“Only until we found something we both liked well enough. Marriage is all about compromise, Sweetie,“ River chuckled, pleased that they had finally put the pesty issue to bed. Now it was just a matter of getting back to the TARDIS, changing into their new outfits and enjoying a very special day with some of their closest friends.
“Look over there…“ The Doctor halted as she spotted a little girl, no older than five, wandering around by herself.
“She looks lost…“ River had to agree and stopped walking as well. The girl was looking around, clearly searching for something or someone. It was far too busy for a child that age to be left to her own devices.
“Hello, are you okay? Who are you here with?“ The Doctor decided they couldn’t just carry on, instead she walked over to talk to the child, her wife close behind.
“I’m looking for my parents.“ The little girl answered reluctantly, eyeing the two of them as if she wasn’t sure whether she could trust them.
“Where did you last see them? Maybe we can help, you really shouldn’t be here on your own, it’s so busy,“ the Doctor scanned around the crowd but should see anyone that might be looking for a child in turn.
“I lost them in the crowd, we were meant to go to the entertainment level…“ The girl carried on to explain and pointed to a big poster on the other side of the walkway.
“Okay, well, maybe they went there and are waiting there for you now, shall we see if we can find them?“ River suggested, as it was as good a place as any to start.
——
“Entertainment is saying a bit much…“ River huffed as they slowly advanced into the amusement deck. It was surprisingly quiet, considering the fact that it was meant to be a fun place.
“Quite creepy, isn’t it…“ The Doctor agreed, eyeing up mechanical statues that lined the walls. Up ahead was a large entrance to what resembled an amusement park, only it was half-hidden behind the shutters, and there was no way of looking inside properly.
“Maybe we should go and talk to the security staff, make an announcement or something…“ River mused as she didn’t like the look of the place.
“That’s my mum’s scarf!“ The girl exclaimed as she spotted a yellow scarf not far from the entrance. River and the Doctor exchanged knowing looks.
“Maybe they didn’t lose you at all, maybe they were taken…“ The Doctor mused and pulled out her sonic screwdriver, which was quite a struggle with her shopping bags in hand. She gave the scarf and then the entrance a scan.
“Taken?!“ The girl exclaimed, terrified, and River was quick to pick her up and hug her.
“Don’t say things like that!“ She hissed at her wife who mumbled an apology.
“Sorry…“ she patted the child’s arm who had wrapped her arms around River’s neck. “We’re gonna find them in no time.“ The Doctor assured her and scanned the way up ahead again. “See, there’s lifesigns up ahead.“ Slowly, they started making their way inside the park.
The place was abandoned and they walked in silence until suddenly there was movement.
“AH!“ It was River that screamed first, and before the Doctor could do anything, she unloaded her blaster at a mechanical clown.
“River!!“ The Doctor exclaimed, shocked, as the girl screamed as well and buried her face in River’s neck.
“I just… really hate clowns, OKAY?!“ River took a deep breath, advancing carefully towards the thoroughly beat up statue.
“Right, okay, you’ve really shown that one who’s boss…!“ The Doctor commented, relaxing a little when River put her gun away upon finding the clown completely broken.
“Emily!“ A voice called up ahead and River and the Doctor looked up.
“Mum!“ The girl exclaimed and River set her down, smiling, at the woman running towards her.
“It was one way, we couldn’t turn around, we thought you’d gone in!“ The woman scooped up her daughter in a tight hug and the Doctor and River exchanged smiles.  “Thank you so much for bringing her here!“ The mother carried on, immense relief in her voice.
“All is well that ends well,“ River smiled and looped her arm around that of her wife.
“We’d better go, before someone makes us pay for the damage on that clown…“ The Doctor chuckled and captured River's lips in a kiss before she could get affronted.
——
“Happy?“ River asked, giving her wife a sideways glance.
“Very happy!“ The Doctor nodded, as she adjusted her waistcoat. She was wearing a tailored grey suit with an emerald green bow tie that matched the dress River wore. It was long and fitted, showing off her curves perfectly without being too revealing.
“Right then, let’s do this.“ River smiled and took her wife’s arm as she offered it to her.
“Nice venue!“ River commented as they stepped outside the TARDIS. They found themselves in a Victorian manor house.
“Looks oddly familiar…“ The Doctor mused with a frown, getting an odd sense of déjà vu.
“You’ve not been here before, have you?“ River asked, recognising the look on her face. She felt they were in for a surprise.
“I think I would remember…“ The Doctor mused, scanning the room some more. That’s when she spotted it: the second TARDIS on the other side of the room. “Oh no!“ She breathed.
“Timelines crossing, that’s why you don’t remember…“ River chuckled and frowned when she spotted the other Doctor. Tall with floppy hair, bowtie, and a girl following close behind. “But who is that?!“
“Okay, all of this was a huge misunderstanding…“ The Doctor reached for her wife’s hand intent on pulling her back to the TARDIS but River was too curious to let this opportunity pass them by. Particularly since the girl who was following the young Doctor was doing her best to cling to his arm.
“Doctor?“ River flashed him a bright smile, pulling her wife along.
“River!“ The younger Doctor recognised her and the colour drained from his face. He was doing his best to shake off the girl on his arm while going bright red in the face. “Oh no, no no no…“
“Who’s this darling?“ The young girl piped up to which River raised her eyebrows.
“This is my…“ The young Doctor cleared his throat as he gestured to his wife, trying to make introductions.
“Darling?“ River echoed with a good-natured smile, already relishing in his discomfort.
“Oh God, I think I remember this…“ The blonde Doctor groaned next to her wife, running her hand through her hair nervously. This was not where they were meant to end up when she had set the TARDIS going.
“And what is this ?“ River asked and the younger Doctor stammered:
“It’s really not what it looks like…“
“I thought we were going to Vastra and Jenny’s wedding, we have been meaning to go for ages!“ River sighed, pursing her lips, raising her questioning eyebrow.
“I must have… overshot a little…“ The blonde Doctor admitted.
“River, I can explain, see there was this thing…“ The other Doctor started.
“There is always a thing…“ River hummed, crossing her arms in front of her chest. She was doing her very best to remain serious. It wasn’t exactly the first time she had caught her spouse in an awkward position and she didn’t care in the least, but she greatly enjoyed winding them up.
“Please, let’s leave this horrible place and start our life together…“ The girl piped up again, wrapping her arms around the young Doctor’s waist who struggled to push her off.
“Yeah, about that…“ He stuttered.
“There was this whole forced marriage cult that I was trying to break up and I don’t know what happened, suddenly I was married to this girl and…“ The blonde Doctor decided to add some context at last.
“Ah.“ River smirked.
“It was an accident…“ The younger Doctor interjected immediately.
“We will leave you to deal with this accident then and you can make it up to me next time you see me,“ River announced with great amusement.
“Yes well… but what about you, do I not get to be jealous?“ The younger Doctor suddenly realised, pointing to his future self.
“I am you,“ the Doctor retorted dryly, as if it wasn’t obvious by now.
“Right…“ The other Doctor looked his future self up and down. “Nice suit.“
“She is you? I am married to both of you?“ The girl interjected, drawing everyone’s attention, as a huge smile spread across her face at the prospect. She was taking the whole thing surprisingly well which probably had a lot to do with having regained her freedom after what could be considered a rather hopeless existence.
“You are married to neither one of us. She is. We’re not married, 'cause I was already married,“ the younger Doctor explained, hoping to clear things up once and for all. This was just typical. Try and do one nice thing and get caught out by your wife for it.
“She’s your wife?“ The girl looked to River but not with animosity, more like blatant fascination and probably considering if there was a case to be made for an extended arrangement.
“She’s something.“ The older Doctor hummed and got a gentle slap to the arm for it.
“So… Vastra and Jenny’s wedding? Or are we postponing that again?“ River turned back to her wife in amusement, but only after giving the girl a wink.
“Ohh you’re off to see Vastra and Jenny? Been meaning to do that for ages, can we all go?“ The younger Doctor grinned in excitement and River chuckled:
“I think you got something else to sort out first…“
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the-gay-prometheus · 3 years
Text
Frankenstein AU Segment - “The Reunion”
Oh hey- it’s been a minute since I last posted one of these, huh? 
As I’ve kinda been alluding to, this isn’t the segment that I’ve been needing to write, but it’s the one I felt like writing over the past few days. So it just so happens that for once in my life, I’ve actually written something chronologically relevant to the last segment I posted! As in... this literally takes place almost directly after “Willful Disobedience.” 
I’ll admit I kinda rushed the ending of this one a bit, and I think it shows, but it does what it needs to do so I’m just gonna keep it as is for now.
I can’t think of any serious warnings necessary for this one, but feel free to ask me to add warnings/warning tags if you see anything that you think should be warned about!
As always, likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are appreciated and encouraged!
It was a nightmare that awoke him that dreary, stormy night. Though he knew logically that there was nothing to fear, now that the thing he had created had been missing for at least four months, still he couldn’t help but feel those same eyes watching him from the shadows. Shuddering at the thought of that disturbing dark-lipped grin and the strange garbled sounds that had roused him from his slumber on the fateful night of its creation, he lay awake in bed and stared up at the ceiling. “You have nothing to fear,” he muttered aloud, repeating the phrase in his mind hoping that maybe if he said it enough times, it would be true. Yet a sudden bolt of lightning and crash of thunder caused him to yelp and hide under the covers, trembling in a cold sweat. Only one thought eased his troubled mind, and though he resented the idea of once again bothering Henry so late at night, he felt he might go mad if he stayed in his room alone for any longer.
When he silently opened the door to Henry’s room, he fully expected to find him asleep - instead, Henry was sitting upright with his journal and quill in hand. He had been staring out into the storm, but as Victor opened his door his attention snapped away. Though at first he appeared surprised, the expression of shock faded into one of concern. “Another nightmare?” he asked quietly, shutting his journal and setting it along with his quill aside. Victor didn’t answer, simply nodding silently while standing shakily in the doorway. Henry moved over on the bed, and gently pat the place beside him, gesturing for his dear friend to come sit with him. Victor unsteadily strode over, sitting in the place beside Henry but turning his face away. “Do you… want to talk about it?” Victor shook his head, clinging to himself and holding back tears. “Is there anything I can do other than just… be here?” There was no reply from Victor except a sniffle and a shrug of his shoulders. The pouring rain pounded at the glass of the window like some unwanted stranger begging to be let in, a deafening sound in a moment of silence between the two of them. “Would it… help to be held?” Victor gripped at himself tighter and clenched his eyes shut, shuddering as he nodded. When he felt the warm embrace of Henry’s freckled arms wrapping gently around him, something inside him shattered and he burst into a fit of sobs. Henry gripped him tighter, hushing him softly as he wept. Another roar of thunder caused Victor to jump and grab hold of Henry, clinging to him as though his life depended on it. They stayed tangled in each other's arms until Victor’s sobs turned to quiet sniffles, and the rain turned from violent downpour to a gentle, steady fall. When Henry released him, he sat back and reached out, carefully wiping the tears from Victor’s pale cheeks. “Better?” he asked with a kind smile and compassionate gaze. Victor nodded, sheepishly smiling himself, though his smile quickly faded and he shuddered at the thought of once again being alone with his thoughts.
“Better for now, yes, but... would you mind if I stayed the night?” he asked, his voice still hoarse from crying.
“Not at all! Bring a blanket and make yourself at home-” He paused, his eyes suddenly filled with concern. “Are you ok going back and grabbing one on your own or…”
“I’ll be fine,” Victor answered, waving his hand dismissively and hopping down from the bed.
What happened then was a blur, a faded memory with only fragments remaining. He ran after exiting Henry’s room, back to his own to quickly grab his favorite wool blanket and nearly panicked at the sound of a tree branch tapping and scraping at his window, Somehow from there he ended up back in Henry’s room, making a cozy nest for himself on the floor where he decided he would sleep for the night - complete with extra pillows that Henry provided him with, and it was there with his blanket wrapped tightly around himself that his eyes began to close. When they opened, however, he was no longer on the floor but instead lying in bed next to Henry, who slept soundly with his face turned away. Victor’s eyes opened wide at the sudden realization that somehow, in his sleep, he must have climbed up into the bed. As he tried to remember why or how it happened, his memory flashed with tiny glimpses at some other horrifying nightmare, and he realized all at once that in his fright he must have come to Henry for comfort, only to find him sleeping. He stirred, slowly trying to move toward the edge of the bed, but as he shifted, Henry turned in his sleep, now facing him, and he froze. Unwilling to wake his host, Victor lay perfectly still, moving only to shift back to laying with his eyes to the ceiling. He stared upward, but he felt no fear there lying next to Henry. His breathing was slow, his heart calm, and his mind at peace. Yet still, he found himself entirely unable to sleep. Henry shifted and murmured something beside him that sounded like it might have been a name - his name. Victor turned his face toward him, partially curious to see if Henry had awoken or was beginning to wake, and soon turned his entire body on his side to face him as he realized his eyes were still closed and his expression was that of someone peacefully sound asleep.
Something about that moment took Victor’s breath away. He had long known that what he felt when he was with his dear friend was something far deeper than a general platonic affection, but the pieces of his affections suddenly seemed to click together as they lay together in simple silence. His brown eyes began to well with tears once again. “I have searched so long for greatness and power, hoping that it might fill some final void within me,” he whispered, though he knew Henry couldn’t hear him, “yet all this time, all I needed to feel whole was this - just to be here, just to be with you.” He turned himself onto his back again, staring upward as tears slowly streamed down his face. “Why can we not just stay like this? Why can we not just be this - be us?” His gaze fell back onto Henry, and he felt a dull pain from deep within him that throbbed with every beat of his heart. “Would you even want that? Or is this wrong? Am I wrong?” Henry shifted in his sleep, and it seemed for a moment that his eyes might dare to blink open, which frightened Victor into silence at the thought that he may have just bore his entire soul to his most trusted friend. He didn’t wake, though, instead simply heaving a soft sigh in his slumber as he went entirely still once again. The sky outside began to lighten as the first rays of sun peeked over the horizon and filtered through the window, some soon resting upon the fiery waves of Henry’s hair and revealing the dormant ember-like brightness that had been concealed by the darkness of night. As dawn passed, Victor stayed staring at his dearest friend’s fair face, and as he stared he reached out, tracing the air over a cluster of freckles with a smile. “Andromeda,” he breathed, recognizing the latest in a series of constellations he had discovered over the years. He wanted so badly just to reach a little further and touch him, as though he were afraid that maybe it was all some illusion, some cruel trick that he could be so close and yet so far from where he wanted to be - from who he wanted to be. Instead he retracted his hand with a gentle sigh and lay there in silent wonder, letting his mind wander with visions of what could be, or what could have been. Henry stirred beside him once again, his eyelids twitching. Victor felt himself freeze again. What would he say? What would he do? Would he be angry? Would he pull him closer? Would he do nothing at all? From the corner of his eye he caught sight of a tall shadow on the wall beyond, looming ominously. He felt his stomach churn and his heart race with both fury and fear, until suddenly everything stopped. Everything was still - too still. “This isn’t right,” he whispered to himself. “He wasn’t there.” Just as Henry’s eyes slowly opened, he blinked.
Tiny shafts of sunlight filtered through miniscule cracks in the wooden log walls, illuminating particles of dust that floated through the air. Victor squinted as his eyes opened. For a moment, he smiled, half expecting Henry’s hazel eyes to be gazing back at him, but instead there was the bare wood of the cabin walls and the small stream of light that aligned directly with his sight and blinded him despite its meager size. He pulled his wool blanket over his face with a groan to block out the light, and though he tried to close his eyes and go back to sleep, there was an aching in his chest that kept him awake. Though he knew it was impossible, he kept hoping and wishing that somehow, some way, he could simply will Henry into existence there with him. Finally growing exhausted of his pining, he slipped out of bed, pinning his blanket around himself as a cape, and stepped out of his room. The creature lay sleeping soundly on the floor in front of the fireplace, that being the only place he ever slept despite having a room of his own. Victor paused, staring down at him for a moment, suddenly envying him. After having been calmed from another night terror, the creature seemed so peaceful and at rest in his sleep, while Victor seemed to be cursed only to dream of memories that pained him and made him feel all the more lonely and lost, twisted and changed by fears he so desperately tried to suppress. Cautiously stepping over his creation’s outstretched leg, he made his way to the door and stepped outside into the light of dawn. At first he shielded his eyes from the light, but as they adjusted, he strode toward the edge of the ledge and paused just before the rock dropped off into a steep cliff, just so most of his feet were still on solid ground though his toes hung over the edge. It was a dangerous place to stand, especially with the strong breeze that pushed its way through, but the danger of it was the last thing on his mind as he stared ahead, his hands clasped behind his back.
A feeling of homesickness flooded through him, though he couldn’t quite discern what it was for. Was it for Geneva, for the lake and the forests and the view of the mountains from below? Was it for the home and family he left behind so many years ago? Or was it just for Henry himself- He shook the thought from his head. "That's silly," he muttered aloud. "You can't feel homesick for a person." Yet when he thought about his soothing voice as he read some ancient poem or story, or the way he held him when he was scared or sad; when he thought about the way he could paint a picture with words or tell a story through sketches, that feeling of homesickness only grew more prevalent. In his heartache, he hadn’t heard the sound of footsteps approaching from behind, nor had he heard when they stopped, followed by the clattering of a walking stick and pack being dropped to the ground. Instead, it was a voice that broke him from his thoughts, sending both a wave of heat and an icy chill through his veins.
“Victor?” He turned his head, and swore he was hallucinating. Standing there bathed in the golden light of the morning sun was the exact person who had been consuming his every waking thought. In a moment of something between blind panic and overwhelming joy, Victor thoughtlessly fully turned to face him while stumbling backward - except there was nothing to stumble back on. One foot slipped from the edge of the cliff, and he flailed his arms, trying to push his balance onto the one foot that still remained on land despite that one beginning to slip as well. Just as he was about to fall back to what would most certainly have been an inevitable death, a hand grabbed one of his flailing arms by the wrist and stopped his fall. He glanced back as fragments of stone tumbled off the cliff, falling through the air until they could no longer be seen. His breath caught in his throat at the thought that he could have just perished due to his own carelessness, but when he looked back up he felt his heart flutter. Henry was staring down at him with a look of both terror and relief in his eyes, wisps of his orange hair that had escaped being tied back drifting over his face and catching the sunlight like thin streams of fire, gleaming and shifting in vibrant shades of auburn with each waving motion of the breeze. 
“H-hi Henry,” Victor managed to stutter breathlessly as he gazed upward with wide eyes. The grip on his wrist tightened and he felt himself blush, so he turned his head away as Henry hoisted him back up onto solid ground, only to blush harder as his friend suddenly pulled him into so tight of an embrace he thought his frail ribs might crack. Though it was slightly painful, the sudden rush of euphoria from being once again wrapped in Henry’s arms overrode any pain he felt. He couldn’t tell if he wanted to laugh, or cry, or maybe both at once, but whatever the case, he clung to Henry tightly in return, silently hoping that this was in fact reality and not just some waking dream. Henry pulled back, placing his hands on Victor’s shoulders as Victor reluctantly released him.
“My dear Frankenstein,” Henry murmured. The words shot straight through Victor, words he had been longing to hear for the months he had been away, words that only Henry ever spoke, and he felt as though he might faint at the mere sound of them.
“It’s… it’s been far too long,” Victor managed to whisper, leaning his head to one side and resting it on Henry’s hand. Henry returned the gesture with a comforting smile.
“It has,” he concurred, seemingly searching Victor’s face for answers to some unspoken question. Victor looked back up at him, his own eyes wandering for want of answers, and as he stared, his gaze turned to a sudden look of confusion and concern as reason and logic began to overtake his senses.
“How did you find me?” He paused, then stepped back and pulled fully away from Henry’s touch. “Why aren’t you still at Ingolstadt?” Henry shrugged his shoulders.
“I’m taking time off,” he answered simply. “After you left I was so worried - about you and your family, I guess - I just… couldn’t keep my focus on my studies, so I decided it might be best to come home and take a break.” Victor was about to reply, but went silent as Henry suddenly went rummaging through one of his pockets and pulled out a folded piece of paper. “As for how I found you,” he began, waving it in the air, “I got your letter!” Victor gave him an odd look.
“...Letter?” Henry unfolded it and looked it over.
“You don’t remember sending this?” Victor thought long and hard, trying to consider all of the possibilities - maybe he had sent something and forgotten? Or maybe he had written and sent something in some daze of confusion and lost all memory of it? Neither made much sense, but they were the only answers that seemed to come to mind.
“Not to my knowledge, no.” He reached out. “Do you mind if I take a look?” Henry laughed as he shook his head.
“Of course not! You’re the one that wrote it, after all,” he replied as he placed the letter into Victor’s hand. Victor read it over, growing more confused and concerned with himself. Henry was right - it looked exactly like his handwriting and the tone of voice in the letter seemed to match the tone he so often used in his typical letters to Henry from his time in Ingolstadt before that same fateful day that he arrived there. “Whatever the case, whether you wrote it or not,” Henry began, smiling and resting one hand back on Victor’s shoulder. “You have no idea how delighted I am to see you again.” Victor hid his blushing behind the paper as he inspected it closer.
“More like you have no idea how delighted I am to see you again,” he mumbled. The letter certainly seemed flawlessly his own creation, but no matter how much he tried, he couldn’t recall when, or frankly how, he would have sent it. “When did you say you received this?”
“I… hadn’t said, but it was yesterday evening.” Victor’s expression became even more contorted with confusion, and Henry himself began to worry. “Is there something wrong?”
“Henry… I never wrote you a letter.” Henry stared.
“I’m not sure if I should be more offended or concerned by that sentence, but I think the answer lies somewhere in the middle.” The thought that he might have offended him sent a twinge of guilt through Victor, and he glanced up with a sigh.
“That’s not to say I didn’t want to write to you. It’s just… I can’t leave this place. It’s a long story.”
“You did mention that in the letter, something about how you were unable to leave. That’s part of why I left as soon as I received it - I figured you might be in trouble, but you look perfectly well, other than perhaps a bit thinner than usual.” 
“That’s just it-” Victor began, looking back down at the letter. “If I’m stuck here, then how would I have gotten this letter to you?” Henry thought for a moment.
“Well, it was delivered by someone who wished to remain anonymous if that makes any difference. Perhaps there was someone who had come here that you forgot and had asked to deliver the letter?” Victor shook his head.
“Impossible. I would have known if someone else had come. There’s no one here except me and-” He paused, his eyes catching on to something strange, a pattern in the way each character was written. He knew his own handwriting - it was sloppy at best, yet typically at least legible, and he never wrote one letter the same way twice. That was the problem, though - the handwriting looked nearly identical, yes, but it was too perfect. Each letter, though sloppily written, was written in nearly the exact same style, as though it had been copied. It was such a small detail, something he himself with his ever observant eyes barely caught on to, but it was enough to alert him that he was right - he never wrote a letter. “It was forged,” he said out loud suddenly. Henry took the letter from his hands and gave it a closer look. “You know my handwriting, Henry. It’s imperfect. I’ve always complained about how imperfect and inconsistent it is. But this? It’s…”
“Perfectly imperfect,” Henry muttered, finishing his sentence for him. “Now that you mention it, I see what you mean. How fascinating… whoever wrote this put a lot of time and care and effort into trying to make it look and sound like you, and certainly nearly managed to achieve it.” He folded the letter back up and returned it to his pocket, but as he did, he repeated Victor’s own words in his head. “Did you say there was someone else here?” Victor didn’t answer. He barely heard him, as he became lost in his own thoughts, trying to decipher who had written it and how it could have been delivered, and how the author would have known his whereabouts.
Perfectly imperfect, he thought to himself. Perfectly imperfect… His eyes went wide and he felt as though his blood was draining to his feet as he went pale and his stomach seemed to twist itself in knots. “Perfectly imperfect,” he repeated aloud, as though in a trance. Henry gave him a concerned look, and reached out, taking his hand gently.
“Victor? Is there something wrong?” Victor trembled, then suddenly tore his hand away and made his way over to the belongings Henry had dropped, gathering them up and placing them back into Henry’s hands.
“You need to leave,” he demanded, his tone hoarse yet dark. Henry blinked.
“I’m… are you sure?”
“Yes I am sure.” He wasn’t sure - but all he knew was he suddenly felt a surge of fear and fury rising through himself. Henry stared, seemingly analyzing him, then gently placed his things onto the ground again.
“No you’re not-”
“Yes I am,” Victor interrupted. His breathing quickened as his heart began to race. Taking a deep breath in an attempt to appear as calm as possible, he rested a hand on Henry’s shoulder. “You need to leave, Henry. You’re not safe here.” Henry’s hand dropped to the rapier he kept sheathed at his side.
“Victor, I can protect myself - you know that. Whatever it is, rest assured, I will be fine.” He reached up, placing his hand over Victor’s hand. “What I’m more concerned about is you and your safety.” Victor looked away, refusing to meet his gaze. “Why are you really here?”
“I told you, it’s a long story,” he uttered, his voice almost like a low growl as he suddenly pushed Henry back. “One that I don’t have the time to tell. Go, Henry. Leave, and don’t come back - for your own sake.” Henry stumbled back as Victor pushed him, and though he desperately wanted to refuse, he sighed and began retrieving his things.
“If that’s really what you want, then I’ll go,” he answered quietly, trying to hide the sorrow in his voice. His tone sent Victor’s mind reeling and a sudden shock of pain in his heart, but he strengthened his resolve and continued to hurry Henry along. Exhausted from his journey and now pained by rejection, Henry trudged along, until out of the corner of his eye he caught sight of something that made him stop and raise his head. It was the cabin he saw, quaint and carefully constructed of logs likely found from the mountain forest. “Oh!” he exclaimed, causing Victor to pause as well. “Did you build that?” he asked, glancing back toward his friend.
“No- well- I- It’s not important. Time to go,” Victor grumbled, pushing at him again. Henry stepped away from him, nearly causing him to fall forward, and walked toward the little dwelling with curiosity.
“It’s… nice, actually,” he complimented, looking it over and glancing at his surroundings. “Must be pretty wonderful to be living in such a beautiful place with such an incredible view.”
“No, it’s a living hell of my own creation. Come on, Henry,” Victor pleaded, grabbing hold of his arm and trying to pull him away. Just then, the door to the cabin creaked as it opened, and Victor froze. He dared not to look, and a million scenarios raced through his mind. Had that demon lured Henry here to hurt him? Would Henry attack it out of fear of its hideousness? Would it attack him back? Panic began to course through him, but as the door closed, it wasn’t chaos that ensued, but instead Henry’s kind voice and cheerful disposition that rose over the mess of disastrous thoughts that tumbled around in his head.
“Oh, hello there! And who might you be?”
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smokeybrandreviews · 2 years
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Fleet and Flotilla
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I’ve played a lot of Mass Effect in my day. So much of the original trilogy and twice with Andromeda. Man, Andromeda is so goddamn disappointing. Thee is so much potential there and it just did not live up to any of it. I’ve been the protagonist of Shepard’s adventures in space for a little over a decade. I’ve put in hundreds of hours into those original titles on the PS3 and have already beat the Legendary edition five times. In pieces. Haven’t beat ME1 on Legendary, saving that for later because i need to do the Romance through three games thing. That is reserved for Liara. Also the Space Racist, i guess. That brings me to the point of this essay: My favorite Mass Effect Romances. I’ve romanced every character in this trilogy at least once, and i have thoughts. I Wanted to take a look back and kind of rank where i would out them as i slowly progress through Legendary Edition, adding new notches to that all too familiar galactic belt. Spoiler alert, Tali is my favorite. She’s number one. Tali is best girl and fight me about it.
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Before we get into the meat, i want to acknowledge the Morinth, Diana Allers, Aria T’Lok, Javik, James Vega, and Kelly Chambers hook-ups. These “romances” are okay but not really all that fulfilling. Kelly bails on you after ME2, Morinth literally kills you, and Allers is just hot for Shep dick. As i recall, the Diana Allers romance is a literal hit-it-and-quit-it scenario that has no effect on your primary paramour. OR, at least, that’s what i remember about the original games. That might have been changed in Legendary. Haven’t gotten through the ME2 romances to play around with ME3 yet. I did get the elusive kiss from Aria once during Overlord by being an absolute bastard and it was the most gratifying thing i ever achieved in these games. The Javik and Vega one night stands were adorable, too. Now, on to the actual list. These first few are basically one-and-dones. I don’t really get into them all that because there is nothing there to hook me like the others but i did complete them once.
Ashley Williams - Romanced by M!Shep
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I don’t like Ashley. I think she’s kind of a terrible person. Ma is an objective Human Supremacist, definitely a Speciesist, and is just generally annoying. I can’t stand this chick so, while i acknowledge her growth as a character through her interaction with Shepard as the narrative progresses, this b*tch is still the f*cking worst! Like, bro, you let this man inside of you, watched him die, and decided to call him a traitor to his face when he comes back to life? After experienced, first hand, the very reason why he decided to join up with Cerberus? Really?
Jacob Taylor - Romanced by F!Shep
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Jacob was the first romance i did as F!Shep. I don’t really play as her all that often because, and i might be blaspheming here, i don’t care for Jennifer Hale’s voice. That sh*t is weird and it kind of takes me out of the game. That said, for the sake of completion, i did run through the OG trilogy a few times as the one with the booba, and took down Jacob in my inaugural run. Jacob is a nothingburger of a character. Even with the romance, he’s still as plain as white bread. And then f*cking leaves you! You save the entire galaxy together, turn yourself in because it’s the right thing to do, and he shacks up with the first brown chick he sees, then knocks her the f*ck up Dude is the worst!
Thane Krios - Romanced by F!Shep
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I’m going to be honest: I don’t understand the allure. Thane was the romance i chose for my second run as F!Shep and i just kind of felt “meh” about it all. I’m a dude so Thane is definitely not in my wheelhouse but a lot of my female friends who play these titles, swear by the Drell Assassin as strongly as i swear by my darling Quarian Engineer and i guess that’s fair.
Kaidan Alenko - Romanced by M!Shep
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Never pursued Kaidan as F!Shep because of the aforementioned distaste but i did run one playthough where i allowed Kaidan to live specifically to Romance later. I was kind of glad i did. Kaidan is definitely not my favorite player but i admit, he’s a better person that Ashley in every way. I still sacrifice him almost all the time though, because I'm a whole ass monster and Ashley has boobs. Still, the one time i saw Kaidan all the way through, i opted for the same sex romp with my M!Shep and it was surprisingly rewarding. It’s not in my top romances but it’s still a solid choice, in my opinion.
Steve Cortez - Romanced by M!Shep
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Steve is the first, true, same sex option in Mass Effect and their flirtation is one with real depth. Steve fast became on e of my favorite characters through just interaction with him over the course of the game. He’s smart, witty, insightful, and comes across as a real person. I loved all those little scenes so, when he and my Shep finally embraced, it felt right. I can’t say his Romance is top tier for me but it’s, for sure, the first one right outside that tally. Like, Steve is definitely knocking on that door.
From this point on, we’re getting into repeat romances, with the exception of one, specific, entry. That one leap-frogged the one-offs because it was just so goddamn rewarding, i had to put it in the creme de la creme. The following Romance options are the ones i always revisit, the one’s i find absolutely necessary.
Garrus Vakarian - F!Shep
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I ventured that muggy quagmire i call Laura Bailey’s voice three times, specifically because i love watching Garrus squirm. Dude is a top three Squadmate when I'm M!Shep so of course i wanted to see what he’d be like when trying to get into them Turian trousers. In all seriousness, this Romance feels like the only real option for F!Shep, which is why i actually pursued it three separate times. That’s right, i played F!Shep three times because i enjoyed dating Garrus that goddamn much. This Romance almost makes up for the grating drone of Laura Bailey's performance. I REALLY dislike Laura Bailey's F!Shep...
Liara T'Soni - Romanced by both M!Shep and F!Shep
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Liara was the only character i romanced as both a Male and a Female Shepard and, i must say, i definitely prefer the M!Shep route. They just have so much more chemistry together, in my eyes. In my own personal headcanon, Shepard shacks up with Tali, is best friends with Liara, and is Garrus’ best friend. The effortlessly comfortable nature between these three relationships really give an added bonus to their respective relationships, no more so that the Liara paramour. She’s just so adorable and, as the trilogy progresses, become so much more than that naive young woman trapped in a bubble. By the time the trilogy ends. she’s every bit the legend Shep is and, together, they share a romance written in the stars.
Samantha Traynor - Romanced by F!Shep
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Listen, by the time Mass Effect 3 rolled around, i was all F!Shep’d out. Not only did i do the ME2 Romances, but i completed them all through Mass Effect 3, as well. Imagine my surprise when i found out you could romance Samantha Traynor, too. Sh*t was f*cked up because, from what i saw, Traynor was f*cking Amazing! I had no choice but to go back in, slumming it with Jennifer Hale’s voice grating on my nerves but i did it and i am SO glad i did. Samantha Traynor’s romance is f*cking awesome and adored every second of it! It was mad difficult deciding who to put in this spot, Liara or Traynor, because they are very similar in their arcs but Traynor won out. I’ll always have a soft spot for Liara but Traynor did so much, with so much less time in the SKWAD.
And now, we get to the best of the best or, as Macho Man Randy Savage would say; The Cream of the Crop! These are my unabashed favorite Romances in all of Mass Effect. I have an incredibly difficult time not pursuing one of these three relationships whenever i play, Tali giving my the hardest pull. She’s tops for a reason but these other two? Yeah, they are just as enthralling for me.
Miranda Lawson - Romanced by M!Shep
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Miranda Lawson was the first character i ever romanced in a Mass Effect game. She was my target in the my very first playthrough of Mass Effect 2, a decade and change ago. Her Romance was one for the ages, bolstered by the excellent additions in Mass Effect 3. The Lawson romance really takes off there, even if you don’t see much of it in real time. Those little meet-ups were amazing in terms of Miranda’s development leading to a solid f*cking payoff on Horizon. And then came that amazing Citadel DLC and i just swooned for our genetically perfect, Cerberus Cheerleader all over again. I am currently working my way through her Romance on Mass Effect 2 Legendary Edition for the first time because the other two romances on this list got me for multiple playthroughs every time i tried to start on Miranda’s route. Them pulls is just that hard! Now, just for transparency, Miranda ranks so high straight up because of nepotism. She was my first Romance and really left an impression. If I'm being honest, Liara is probably a better overall experience but i jut love Miranda more than i should, i guess.
Jack - Romanced by M!Shep
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Oh, my lovely, lovely, Jacqueline Nought. I Romanced her on my second playthrough of ME2. I’m a sucker for New Game+ so it was easy going back into the Collector Conflict for a second time. Staying true to my real life preferences, i went after the emotionally damaged, definitely crazy, super hot Goth chick with all the tattoos and let me tell you, a little edgelord love was exactly what i needed. I ended up falling in love with this paring. I actually put off Romancing Tali several times in favor of this one because, and i can’t stress this enough Jack is f*cking perfect! She has one of the deepest, richest, character arcs in the entire franchise and seeing her blossom into who she becomes during ME3, directly because of your influence, was amazing. I’ve only ever pursued her as a Renegade once, though. While that was fun or whatever, i found that pairing her with a Paragon She works the best. It’s like a dog dating a cat and i kind of love that juxtaposition.
Tali - Romanced by M!Shep
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Tali’Zorah nar Rayya. Tali'Zorah vas Neema. Tali’Zorah vas Normandy. Tali’Zorah. Tali. So many names. So many times Romanced. I f*cking love me some Tali, man. She was the last Romance i pursued when i first played Mass Effect a decade ago, but was the very first one i completed when Legendary dropped. This romance has everything you want in a relationship arc. It really enriches Tali as a character, builds upon her already steadfast awesome, and really hammers home why she is best girl. After that first time choosing her, i had a VERY hard time choosing anyone else. Like, i love what happens with Shep an Liars in ME3 if you continue from ME1 and I'm always going to stan a Jack entanglement, but they got nothing on locking down Tali. Seriously, the scenes you share with her on Rannoch, alone, are worth the price of admission but literally EVERYTHING up to that point, and after, is still gold. Also, if you play on the PC, definitely check out that Tali Romance mod on Nexus Mods. Totally worth it!
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venteamocha · 3 years
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Thanks so much for the IF recs! I'd absolutely take a second post of recommendations for Twine games too if you're willing to share! <3
Of course!!
I... actually like twine games better than cog based ones, in some ways, just because they tend to be fancier and prettier, and I am secretly a ferret in the body of a human and I love shinies. ADHD, baby!
I only actually know of like 12 twine games, so if there are any that anyone who sees this knows of that I didn’t list, feel free to let me know about them! There’s a chance I do know about them and just didn’t put them here, but I would rather hear one I already know of on the off chance that I’ll get a new one dropped in.
That said! Another list of games I really like that is again in no particular order!
They’re all on itch.io by the way! They tend to work better if you download them but most can be run in your browser and most are also mobile friendly so you can play them on your phone! I’ll note which ones are.
Scout: An Apocalypse Story: I love dystopia stories, I dearly wish we had more IF based in this kind of setting. Set in a wasteland that is trying to pull itself together with people trying to find out if other settlements are out there while also trying to, well, stay alive. I gotta say, I played only E’s route for a long, long time, but once I tried the other ones I haven’t really gone back. I still love E, you can pry the childhood friend trope out of my cold dead hands, but wow. Oliver. Wow. That dude has serious UST. And Sabine!! I’ve been forced out of my little “play it the same way every time” rut and I’m not sorry. I very much like that you can choose the intimacy level, as someone who’s ace. Sometimes I like reading the smut, sometimes I don’t. Options! (mobile friendly!)
Bad Ritual: I got it baaaaaaaaaad~ I do though, I love Siruud. I have terrible, terrible taste in men. I mentioned Dracula in the other list, and here there’s an actual demon. This is a game with *sass* and I always love a chance to be sassy. I think part of the reason I resonate so much with this one is because of how jaded retail has made me tbh but that’s another story.  Honestly, if you like dark settings, I recommend you play this one first of all my recommendations. It’s just such a good game and there are so many choices and even the pronoun choices are pretty varied.  It’s just good! (mobile friendly!)
Wayfarer: Another for the fantasy list! I love the worldbuilding in this one, and the character creator is just amazing. There are maps, there’s a codex, seriously if you love reading lore, this is definitely a game for you. This is like if Tolkien made an IF. It’s amazing. I’ve said that a few times but it’s true. In all honesty it might count as one that’s not so romance focused, since it does focus more on plot. If I could just sit down and make an IF, I’d want it to be like this tbh. With a beautiful framework, a well organized space of information for the players to just look at and see stuff about the world, a way to develop and build their own character in a clear cut way, and the game immediately tells you what stats are effected by what choices. I really enjoy it when games try to work in character creation in creative ways, but sometimes I just want to sit down and go, “Okay, my character has red hair, blue eyes, is short, and has a crippling phobia of lizards” and this game lets me do that. Well, except for the lizard part. (Not as mobile friendly as the others but I make it work!)
Love and Friendship: It’s a regency game and I love Pride and Prejudice. What can I say? Something about the massive amount of rules of society just gets me. Propriety! This is a game that has a set gender protagonist, female, and it actually is a bit different from the norm in that it has two female love interests and one male, when most of the time it’s the other way around. So that’s something. You can even have a platonic route with a fourth love interest, who is also male. There really aren’t enough platonic routes, but I understand why that is, since a lot of IF players are looking for romance. (mobile friendly!)
Exiled From Court: Also a bit of the same vibe simply because of how constrained everyone is by rules. Nobility, after all. There are a lot of love interests, and one is the MC’s sister’s husband, which is definitely gonna be scandalous. Will I do it? Will I? Eventually. I do like how you can act like an absolute hellion, well, as far as that goes considering. You can try to be a better person but that’s less fun, lol. (mobile friendly!)
A Tale of Crowns: This is literally one of the very first twine games I ever played. Really! It’s got a lot of wonderful intrigue and the setting is very fun. There aren’t a ton of fantasy middle eastern games, and this game is definitely one reason why we should have more. There’s a great deal of customization, and the love interests’ gender will changed based on your MC’s gender and sexuality combination. I like R & D best, and no that’s not a pun. I think. (mobile friendly!)
For the Crown: This is a different game, I swear, they just both happen to have crown in the title, lol. You get to play as an assassin, which is a great deal of fun. The lore in the game is very nice too. I tend to play with they/them pronouns though, and there were a few pronoun hiccups in the game. Seems to be an issue across all of the games made by this author, but I know how much of a pain variables can be so hopefully those will get squashed soon. There’s an explicit content choice in this one as well, and if you turn it on there is an “equipment” choice, so this is definitely gonna be spicy later on! (mobile friendly, but after each chapter the browser shifts as it auto saves. you just have to tap restore game to keep playing.)
-These games aren’t exactly twine games, but I’m putting them here because they’re visual novels that fit the IF format for the most part and are also on itch.io and I love them and for this post at least I will bend my own rules! They all have gender choice MCs and are nonbinary friendly.-
Perfumare: This game is actually being made into an IF, with the visual novel as a sort of preview of what we’re gonna get there. I literally cannot wait for that to happen, this game is so good as it is, and from what we’ve been told it’s only gonna get better. This game has an excellent world, the characters are all messy in the best ways, and ugh it has hurt me quite a bit, again in the best way.  It’s another one on the dark side of things. The powers in this game are just so fun, I dearly want a game set in this world where we can choose what powers we have! Maybe that will be in the IF, but I have a feeling the answer is no. We’ve been teased that there will be a second game with a different MC who will get to romance the characters we can’t in this one, and that alone is enough to get me to jump as soon as it drops. The love interests aren’t gender variable but there are two male ones and one female. I, a known mess, recommend Laurent for lots of repression and pain. (not mobile friendly, you gotta play on desktop/laptop)
Andromeda Six: I’ve recommended this one to pretty much everyone I know, it is such an excellent game. The cast is a mashup of misfits and makes me miss my Mass Effect crews. I specifically set my pronouns to she/her just so they’d all call me Princess. What can I say, I like it. There’s lots of pain, lots of drama, lots of world building, lots of interesting lore, and there is much breaking of cuties. Much. Can’t wait till we get to the next planet. The author has gone out of their way to say that each love interest is gonna get their own arc and will definitely get their own share of attention, so no matter who you pick you’ll have plenty of time to be with them and watch them shine. (not mobile friendly, gotta play on desktop/laptop)
When the Night Comes: Not only do you get to play a badass hunter but it has multiple poly routes! Multiple! It’s rare when you get one poly in a game, this one has three! You can also choose to romance any of them individually if you so choose. It’s dark fantasy gothic, and I really really like that. (not mobile friendly, gotta play on desktop/laptop)
Errant Kingdom: Made from the same dev as WTNC, this one is set in a more fantasy middle eastern setting. Very pretty, lots of intrigue. You can choose between three set protagonists, who can have three different storylines depending on your choices, which is very nice for replayability. It’s got two poly routes this time, and it works the same as their other game in that you can romance them individually if you’d rather be monogamous. (not mobile friendly, gotta play on desktop/laptop)
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timextoxhajima · 3 years
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GEN Z SERIES, CHANG MIN: Invisible Blindfolds
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“I want her dead.”
Member: Changmin
Genre: Angst / Fluff
Word Count: 5.2k words
Taglist:  @lovely-kpop-writer​​ @yn-am-pm @fleurseoul​ @sunwoowuvbot​ @mystaydeobi​ @fullsunsays​ @glcwing0​
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The corners of your eyes well up with tears, and you swore you’d get a tummy ache the next morning from laughing all too hard. 
“Spin the damn thing again! I’m not going into the closet with him!” Chanhee nearly screams his head off, getting onto his feet just as the soju bottle stops, pointing dead straight at him. 
Ji Changmin gets up from beside you, and steps across the carpet, hands outstretched towards his classmate.
“No, fuck off!” 
The laughter in your abdomen forces you to double over, nearly spilling the cup of Coke mixed with Whiskey in your hand. 
Kevin and Eric get to their feet in a bid to force Chanhee along with the game, and you lean over on your best friend, watching your boyfriend turn back and grin at you as he followed his screaming friend into the closet. 
“The things I’d do to have what you have with him,” Your friend almost shouts, trying to beat the rest of the crowd in the room.
Exams had just ended and you had been cordially invited to an end-of-year party at Kevin’s place as Changmin’s girlfriend. 
“Mm,” A hum commands you to take a sip from your cup, just as Eric and Kevin lean on the closet door from the outside, and Chanhee’s screaming only tickles your funny bone even more. 
The alcohol burns your chest, but it was for a good cause; you were having fun. 
“You say that as if you don’t have just about the greatest thing with Kevin.”
The sparkle in your friend’s eyes would’ve gone unnoticed had you blinked, and you can’t help but to snuggle in further into her neck, resting your head on her shoulder while you revel in the atmosphere of the party. 
Chanhee literally crawls out of the closet once the phone’s timer goes off. Changmin walks out with his mouth covered and wide eyes while Chanhee hurls strings of vulgarities at him, back to the floor like he had just been abused.
“Oh my God, what did you do?” The view stuns you, and Changmin naturally struts over to you, his free hand dangling by the side of his thigh calling out for you to hold it.
“I didn’t do anything!”
“Liar--” Chanhee’s eyes are so wide open, his blue contacts might’ve popped out. “He tried to kiss me!”
And the crowd bursts into laughter, including you. 
“Why are you laughing?” Chanhee throws a tissue ball at you, getting to his feet and returning to his spot on the carpeted living room floor. “Control your man.”
“He’s well controlled,” You come down from your high, and pull on Changmin’s hand so he’d sit down. “It’s not my fault he likes you more than he likes me.”
Some in the circle snort, and Changmin pulls you into a headlock, ruffling your hair like you didn’t put effort into styling it before coming. 
And so, the moon hangs itself for all eternity in the dark sky when you leave Kevin’s home, your friend by his side and the group of boys behind you howling and screaming as if they didn’t have to worry about being a public nuisance. 
“Goodnight, Kevin!” You call out over your shoulder, and the others follow suit. 
The door shuts with two smiles behind, but you turn to watch Chanhee and Changmin struggle a little to support the little ball of sunshine who had too much to drink.
“I can go home on my own, you guys need to take care of him.”
Changmin looks up upon your suggestion, watching as you shove your hands into the pockets of your hoodie. 
“What? No.”
Chanhee grunts as Eric nearly slides off, mumbling something about the cat on the other side of the road. 
“I’m not going to be able to bring him back home alone.”
Changmin’s eyes flit between you and his friends, his expression dulling when he realises he doesn’t really have much of a choice.
“Come with us? I don’t want you walking home alone.”
A yawn crawls up your respiratory system, and the remnants of the alcohol gets seeped into your blood as you shake your head.
“I’m fine,” You shrug lightly. “I can take care of myself, but Eric obviously can’t.”
“Your girlfriend’s right,” Chanhee grunts when Eric suddenly does a little skip on a floor, despite his right arm being hooked around Chanhee’s neck. “Eric’s going to spend the night on some pavement if we don’t get him home.”
Changmin looks a tad bit upset with your refusal to walk with them, but he knows he’ll be wasting his breath trying to convince you to go along.
“Okay,” He leans over and pecks you on your forehead. “Be careful, and text me once you get home, okay? Don’t wait up, we’ll probably be awhile.”
The tone in his voice is heavy, and for a moment you worry that he might be more than upset that you were stubborn and rock-headed. 
But Eric starts trying to braid Chanhee’s hair, leaving Changmin no choice but to help untangle his hair from Eric’s fingers. 
You watch for awhile until they disappear around the block, Changmin turning and giving you one last glance before they are out of sight.
The walk home is quiet, apart from the cricket chirping and the occasional car that drives down the road.
You can’t help but to wonder if Changmin really was pissed off with your stubbornness. The stars in the dark sky glimmer down at you, and if you tried hard enough, you could almost see Andromeda, or Mars -- well, it was either or, since both had a shade of red to them if you were to see them in the sky.
The ink sky collects you into its silence and peace, leaving you to wander through the fields of thought in your head before the sun was to rise again. 
A honk outside your house jolts you awake, and your eyes immediately squint away from the bright sun flooding the four walls of your room. 
It is a surprise to realise your phone is a lack of messages -- or replies -- from Changmin when you roll over and fetch the device from your night stand. 
The house was empty, so you could only guess your parents had brought your brother out to buy some of that sports equipment he’s always been wanting to get. 
By nature, you call Changmin, but it meets the dial tone. More messages swarm your chat, but they go undelivered.
WiFi seemed to work but why aren’t they getting through?
A slight headache starts to knock on the inner shell of your skull, and you realise a small cut on your thigh.
Must’ve been Kevin’s house. Wooden floor boards and their splinters.
You forgot to charge your phone before you passed out last night, so it’s a frustrating dead-end when your phone’s battery drains out within the next few minutes.
It wasn’t the first time you’ve been at a social event with Changmin, so being his girlfriend has taught you that he had a habit of sleeping in the next morning after a drinking session. It doesn’t really bother you that you might only come into contact with him when you’re back in school.
Yet the universe thinks it’s fun to pull a prank on you -- for not only is Changmin’s shadow almost out of sight; nobody speaks to you. 
The confusion was overwhelming, nibbling away at your consciousness and your social awareness. Not only did Changmin and his friends seemingly disappear off the face of Earth, so did yours. 
Their seats remain empty for a day, and some don’t even return after the second, including Changmin.
You take the opportunity to run the question through your friend, two of the three who was back in school and the last one gone from your radar as well. 
The cafeteria is bustling as usual, though not as noisy because none of the noisier boys in Changmin’s group of friends were around.
“Do you know what happened to Changmin? And where were you the last two days?” You rest your arms on the table before you, for the lack of appetite from the mistreatment of your boyfriend begins to haunt you like a living nightmare.
“Are you alright? If you need to speak to any of us, we’re always here for you.”
“What?” Your brows furrow and your head cocks to the side. An alarm goes off in your head because that is a strange reply. “What are you--”
“Talk to us, we’re your support. We don’t want you dead in a ditch somewhere, okay?”
“Uh-- sure... I just--”
“Good,” A pause as she returns to her potato salad. “Let me clear this before we head back to class, we have shit to catch up on.”
Baffling.
The next day greets you like the devil’s smile the first time you see it in Hell, for Changmin walks right past you without even looking at you but instead exchanging knowing, suspicious glances at your friend -- the one who assured you her comfort and support just the day before. 
Changmin looked terrible; his smile was gone and the eyebags under his eyes were unmistakably caused by a lack of sleep. The red rings around his eyes are glaring, like he had been a fight and this was the aftermath.
Maybe you should start losing sleep over this too, but everytime your back hits the mattress at home, you knock out and wake up the next morning with a shitty ache in your neck. 
Changmin doesn’t enter your field of vision for the rest of the day, for you have no classes with him besides the chemistry classes on fridays. 
The stinging, wearing pain in your neck draws you to the bed once you reach home, and it feels all too lethargic, like a fever dream. 
The days pass so quickly, so fleetingly, and you weren’t sure if you were just too cooped up in your room studying or sleeping that you haven’t really gotten the time to talk to your family members either. 
They’ll understand. 
But I definitely don’t understand Changmin.
There is something wrong, but he feels so far away, uncontactable.
All those messages and calls to him but nothing. He doesn’t pick up, he doesn’t respond, he doesn’t even look at me in school.
The tears well in your eyes when you struggle to hold yourself together.
How did such a pretty fairytale become a living nightmare?
A phone in the house rings, and the anxiety in her voice thrums through the walls of the house. You wonder for a moment how it was able to wake you -- when your mother finds extreme difficulty in even waking you up on a normal day -- but you peel yourself off the bed anyway and walk out the room, feet snuggled into the thick carpet of the floor. 
It doesn’t take too long for you to realise your mother’s been on the phone for an extended period of time now, and it calls you down the steps of your home into the living room.
The phone is on an extremely high volume; your father has had hearing problems for the longest time so the rest of you simply endure the sometimes-painful levels of pitch whenever someone calls. 
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you--” 
“No, wait, plea--”
And the phone is almost slammed back into the set with a plastic clack. Your mother doesn’t see you because you’ve stopped yourself at the top of the stairs, bending over to watch the situation unravel under the roof of the first floor.
Ji Changmin is a phenomenon on his own, impeccable. There was absolutely nothing about him you hated, until he treated you like you were invisible.
Then your mother buries her face in her hands, looks up at the top of the stairs and spots you, but she doesn’t look you in the eye; she knows you’re standing there. 
Someone must’ve told her Changmin and I are no longer together, but for what reason, even I don’t know. 
The weekend roles around, and the strangest thing happens in the midst of you sobbing your heart out over losing him to a force even you cannot see. 
Why would he show up at your place with a shovel and a rose?
You watch from the window in your room as your older brother and father try to pry Changmin away from the hole he’s dug on your front yard from the window. 
Quite a sight to behold, honestly. But at what cost? Who was hurting more in the relationship? Why is he here when he hasn’t responded to my calls?
The man tried to plant the rose (still in a pot with a soil-base and all), but fragility gets the better of the fickle thing and its petals dribble off throughout all the chaos. 
Changmin literally gets yanked away into the family car, and if you blinked, you would’ve missed the way Changmin looked up at the window with such yearning, it might’ve been excruciating to digest.
There was almost no way you could decide when it all happened. 
Why did Changmin suddenly stop talking to you? 
Why did he stop seeing you? 
Why did he stop loving you?
The curtains draw back before your nose, your mother closing them for you, though she doesn’t say a word. Her back is turned and she shuts the door of your room behind her, the soft thud a signal to you that maybe it was time to close your eyes and let abyss of dreams claim you again.
Maybe this time -- finally -- you’ll forget you ever loved him. 
Then again, it’s not easy to pretend like you hadn’t once had your hands all over him. It’s not easy to pretend like you didn’t just sit and watch the love of your life perform favourite song before an audience, despite the lyrics being heartbreaking... but watching him dance was like watching the waves crash against the shore, the trees hiding the sunshine from the skies.
It’s not easy to pretend that Changmin didn’t actually make the song your reality. 
The cotton of your bedsheet sucks you into its comfort, albeit the memories still running in your head like a broken record.
It was just weeks ago that the dance crew you were in had finished the showcase, the same one that Changmin had performed Maniac in the gym, that Changmin sent you home.
The crickets on out on your lawn were chirping and halted the moment the both of you were walking along the path up to your porch. The night temperature was colder than comfortable, so Changmin has his windbreaker wrapped around your shoulders, and his left hand interlocked with yours, stuffed into the right pocket.
You remember clearly: he smelled like a disgusting mix of deodorant and his body wash, and you could smell his cologne on his windbreaker. 
Strangely comforting, however gross that sounded. 
And so, it is sweet like hot chocolate in winter and his jacket around your shoulders when he plants a gentle kiss on your forehead. 
Your eyes travel up to his. Those large, round, doe eyes that you fell for after almost a year of being friends. He isn’t that short, so you can’t help the smile when you remember all the teasing he suffers when he’s with his friends.
“Goodnight.”
God, those dimples. 
“Goodnight.” 
The memory of that night swallows you whole like you were a druggies’ pills, and the night collects you the way the grim reaper would -- or should -- collect your already dissipating soul. 
I wonder why he’s crawling back now?
The hallways of school haunt you like Hell the next day; is this my Hell?
It might be, especially if Changmin walks by you, on his phone, and does not see you. He is distant, walking at the back of the group with his friends, and you at the back of yours. 
Everybody looks gloomy; did something happen that you didn’t know about?
Maybe that was why Changmin stopped treating you like you existed.
You claim your seat as per normal in class at the back with your friend, and the other two infront of you. Changmin is seated diagonally to the right before you, and you can tell he starts to drift off to sleep. 
Wait-- I only have one class with him on Fridays--
You realise he’s wearing the same pair of pants he wore to your place the night before, when he tried to plant that rose in your front yard. 
There was a patch of rubbed-in soil into the side of his thigh.
It truly is detrimental to your spirit, when you cannot piece together the information. 
Then the lyrics of the performance he pulled off perfectly comes back to stick themselves in the crevices of your brain like a parasite. 
You were with your friends, partying
When the alcohol kicked in
Said you wanted me dead
The pinch forces you to look away, the sound of his voice saying those words driving merciless needles into your skin, making your hair stand. 
“I want her dead.”
His voice rings in your head, though you have no physical memory of him saying that. When did he say this? Over the phone? To someone else? 
Why do you remember his voice saying these words but you don’t even remember seeing it for yourself?
The teacher’s voice is literally drowned out by all the other little clicks and clacks you can hear in the classroom. 
The clock ticking, people clicking their pens, tapping their feet on the floor. The scribbling. 
So, you shut your eyes, and the school bell violently wakes you up from your never-ending nightmare. 
Everybody is on their feet, heading towards the front of the classroom to get some worksheet from the teacher and one of your friends take one copy for you. 
She’s busy looking at the worksheet for herself, so she candidly slides yours under your desk, and seems to miss your little “thank you”.
Your friends forget about you -- which is a normal occurrence, because they know you like to stay behind after Chemistry to leave with Changmin. 
But all three of your friends spare Changmin a look of pity, almost pain and misfortune before they leave the classroom. 
The room is bare besides you sitting in the back and Changmin sitting in his seat, never really moving a single muscle until he slides everything into his bag and stands up. 
It is so quiet, you can hear him breathing. 
His laboured breath tells you there is something wrong, and if he wasn’t going to talk to you about it, then maybe you should find out for yourself. 
It takes a surprisingly minimum amount of effort to follow Changmin out of school and to the bus stop and the train station, because he doesn’t stop once -- he is rushing somewhere, steps larger than he normally would walk with and his hood over his hair, almost hiding his eyes. 
I wish I never loved you, Ji Changmin. You love me with all your heart with mine sitting in the heart of your palms only for you to crush it the very next day, and forget that I ever exist. 
Changmin alights at a station he doesn’t usually alight at, the situation starting to make it even more mind-boggling for you.
Just who or what was it that tore you away from me? We had everything, and the way your eyes twinkled when you looked at me made me feel like I was the only thing you ever needed. 
Then, Changmin gets on a bus, shoving his hands into his pockets. The sun was setting so the sky was turning into a gentle blue from orange.
So, was I? Was I the only thing you ever needed or did you realise that you were wrong, and that you could do without me? That you could be better off with someone else?
The bus stops, and Changmin alights. 
But what greets you is the daunting architecture of a building almost as high as apartment buildings.
It was a hospital.
Something dawns on you, but anger and confusion is not a good mix of emotions when your boyfriend suddenly stops acknowledging your existence without an explanation. 
What if it was your mother? Your father? No, you would’ve told me, wouldn’t you, Changmin? Or was it another girl whom your eyes laid on, and your heart decided her hands were softer, warmer for it to snuggle into, sing melodies into her skin and press loving songs onto her lips?
I wish you were dead, Changmin.
I wish--
“I’m here, y/n.”
It crushes your spirit when you hear the name ring in the halls of the hospital, or maybe it was just in your head. Changmin had entered a ward, but you haven’t seen what was in it.
The sudden nausea in your gut starts to grumble through your system, and your heart rushes like manic in the cages of your chest. 
“How are you today? You look better.”
If I looked hard enough, maybe I could see Andromeda or Mars--
Until bright, white lights blind you.
And your neck feels like there is a harsh squeeze around your spine on the inside, and you groan in pain to yourself, the movement shifting you forwards, just enough to provide you a view of the patient in the ward Changmin was sitting by. 
It feels almost aggressive, or violent, the way the truth of reality slaps you across the face, possibly breaking your neck and a few bones in the process.
But that was not possible, because you were looking at yourself lying in the hospital bed, motionless. 
Cast around your neck and stitches across your face, left hand in cast and one of your legs held up by a support, the physical pain starts to spread through your body just as the information clicks together. 
“I want her dead.” Changmin’s face is tear stained and he is drunk from the sorrows he ironically tried to drink away. Distant, hazy memory reminds you that he is distraught over your accident, for the doctor cannot promise a hundred percent survival rate, not after it’s nearly severed your spine, fractured about a dozen bones in your body and broken your leg.
“You know you don’t mean that.” The calming voice of your voice, though hoarse and also slightly strained, tries in vain to soothe the poison in his heart. 
“If she is in so much pain then I rather her--”
“Shut-- the fuck up!” Then she hurls her glass across the living room, and Kevin rushes to hold her back. She breaks down in his arms, and Kevin looks to Changmin with agony in his eyes. 
He knows Changmin is feeling worse, if not the worst in the room. 
“Are you alright? If you need to speak to any of us, we’re always here for you.”  The memory plays out in your head, leaving a horrid, bitter taste on your tongue. 
She was talking to the other friend at the table, and you weren’t there. 
Your room had been empty the day you were in the accident -- almost three weeks ago. 
The rose sitting in the pitiful pile of soil in your backyard gets surgically removed and then re-installed into the grass by your older brother, because he knows why Changmin left it there. 
Both of them are afraid they are going to lose you, but it’s not in their control to decide what the Grim Reaper decides to do. 
The soft beeping of the heart monitor is a stab to the chest when you realise it was your own heartbeat you were listening to. You slowly walk around the bed and sit in the chair on the other side, directly opposite Changmin with your lifeless body between the two of you. 
You are barely recognisable, but Changmin still looks at you with that twinkle in his eyes, though now shrouded with the tears coating them. 
Guilt finds you in places you never knew was possible, when you realise you had just played Changmin off as an unfaithful, unreasonable partner. 
All he had been was just the opposite. 
The tears fall from Changmin’s eyes, and God, how much do you want to reach over and wipe his tears off his face and tell him you’re still alive, and you’re still fighting. 
He gulps, not doing much to salvage his need to be strong for himself, or for you, and presses one hand into the back of his neck, over the material of his hood. Your right hand, with the index finger clipped with the pulse oximeter, held in his free hand, as he lowers his head in despair.
You don’t know how you’re feeling it, but maybe because the entity you are right now is your soul itself. So the pain is intrinsically sharp in your heart when you watch him crumble, and you cannot do anything about it. 
He sniffles and brushes away the tears streaming down his face, dampening the ends of his sleeves when he looks up at your scarred, wounded face. 
“I’m gonna hope you can hear me, because I don’t think I can say this again...” His finger is trembling when he reaches up and brushes away the hair by your eyes. “If you need to go, if you’re really in pain--”
The hiccups stop him, and you find yourself cracking into sobs, shaking your head when you know what he’s about to say.
“--if you’re really in pain, then go. I don’t want you to stay if all you’re feeling is pain--” 
His teeth are gritted, and you can see the strain in his neck when he hides his eyes with his palm, free hand still holding onto your limp fingers.
No, I don’t want to go if it means you’re hurting.
“I just... I know your family will hate me for saying this but I just need to know that you’re not in pain--”
No, this pain is nothing compared to if I don’t have you. 
“But if you’re somewhere in there, and if you’re fighting, I hope you know I’ll be here to wait for you to come back to me, no matter how long it takes.”
No, no, no, no, this was not how I planned my life to end--
“I love you so much... and I’m sorry I didn’t say it more. I’m sorry that you don’t feel it sometimes, I’m sorry if I’ve hurt you in any way, I just--”
He takes a deep breath and strokes your cheek. 
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The tears are ruthless yet intangible. They fall as tears from your face but disappear into nothingness just before they reach the floor. You try to wipe them from your face with your sleeve but they leave no marks. 
“No... no!” You know the screams can’t be heard by anybody but yourself, and you try to pick up the chair to hurl it across the room but you can’t shift it an inch. You try to kick the bed, but the mattress sheet doesn’t even crease.
“No! Changmin, I’m still here! I’m not in pain and I don’t want to go-- Please...”
Your knees meet the floor of the ward, your hands gripping onto the sides of the hospital bed as you listen to Changmin offer your body sobs and hiccups. 
The rough material of the bed makes you feel the texture, but it doesn’t leave any marks. 
You hear some shuffling and you look up with tired eyes, the pain in your neck calling you back into that lethargic ambience that you now reocgnise. The nightly “sleep” you’ve been getting is just your soul being pulled back into the reality you’ve been so used to, leaving your body here to rot and remain in its useless trance. 
The pain starts to ring a pitch in your ear, and you wince as you stand, watching Changmin stand and rub his eyes.
“No, no, stop!” The pitch gets higher, and the pain spreads a strange need to pass out throughout your body. 
How long are you going to be stuck in his vicious, torturous cycle?
You claw and scratch at the spot of pain causing the ringing in your ears on the back of your neck as Changmin leans forward and presses a gentle kiss into your forehead, lingering there longer than you expected him to. 
The ringing reaches a pitch in your skull that has you covering your ears and cowering to the floor, and just before you black out, you read Changmin’s lips as he whispers to you. 
Please don’t leave me.
The ring cracks something in your neck and you pass out completely, feeling your weight thump to the floor.
“What would you do if I got into an accident?” 
“What?” You frown and look over to Changmin, who’s got his arm under his neck and his eyes looking down at you. “Why would you ever ask that?”
He smiles, the neon stars pasted on your room ceiling still darker than the ones in his eyes. 
“I don’t know, just wanted to know.”
“Hm,” You pull the blanket up to your neck and turn to your side to better face him, rolling the metal ends of his hoodie’s string between your thumb and index finger. “I don’t know. What are the given circumstances?”
“You need given circumstances?”
You laugh, and his eyes are widened with amusement.
“Well, yeah. Like, if the doctors were to tell me you’re dead then there really isn’t much I can do, can I?”
A gasp from him tickles your funny bone again, and you push his chest, shoving him off balance. Changmin repositions himself now, pulling the blanket over himself and tucking his arm under your neck, so that you were resting against his chest and hoodie and his scent intoxicating you in every sweet way possible.
“Okay, what if I become brain dead or something?”
“So, like... alive but you’re never gonna wake up?”
“Yeah.”
Your eyes travel to the ceiling, the stars pasted mapped out according to your starsigns. 
“Do I have the choice of pulling the plug?”
“Mhm, you either pull the plug and get me off life support or you don’t and keep my body around but I’d never wake up.”
“I’d pull your life support.”
“Oh? Why?”
“I don’t want you to be stuck in a body you can’t do anything with. You love to dance and play sports-- I can’t imagine you being stuck in a body that doesn’t allow you to do that.”
Silence.
“You okay? Or did I say something wrong?” 
“Nah,” He shakes his head when you look up to him. “It’s just-- I’m glad you said that. You know me well enough to know that’s what I’d want you to do.”
“And here I was worried you’d want to spend the rest of your life stuck in a body that’s dead.”
“Nah, I’d rather spend the rest of my life with you, and if there’s no you, then there’s no point living.”
So, your eyes shoot wide open like waking up from a dream, but the ceiling is white and your body is being hugged with a thick, uncomfortable material you can’t recognise.
But Changmin’s voice comforts you, and when the tears from his eyes sting the wounds on your face, you don’t mind the extra pain when yours seep into the cuts and wounds too. 
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elencelebrindal · 3 years
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Time to ramble about Shun
Sooo... you said you wanted my rambling to become reality. Here I go. 
Shun not holding back for the whole series would have been a disaster for our dear villains, let me tell you.  But let’s go in order. And I mean, from training to Hades. Obviously, this completely disregards the fact that Shun was Hades the whole time, because if I am to take that into consideration everything would end before starting.  Small disclaimer, this is mostly anime-based. I’ve read the manga, but my memory is so bad in remembering what was just manga and what was just anime, and I have a better memory for the anime.  Also, this is going to praise Shun a lot. No, not because of my undying love for this character, but because logically speaking, he’s freaking powerful; this young man stood against a god that was possessing his body, dammit. 
Now, his training.  Of course, I won’t even imagine Shun actually going to Death Queen Island, mostly because it was Ikki, and not him, the reason why he went to Andromeda Island instead.  What we know, is that Shun nearly awakened his Seventh Sense there and then, when he donned the Cloth for the first time. And we know that he won the right to the trial after winning a fight against his “rival”.  But, before winning, he took a good beating, because he held back.  What would have happened, in the eventuality that Shun did not hold back? Well, probably just quicker access to the trial for the Cloth, but also... this might be the only time Shun not holding back would have affected him negatively.  What if he, by not holding back, lost his right to the Cloth? Andromeda is famous for her sacrifice, after all, not for her brave charging into battle.  This is mostly my own idea about it, because of course Shun was destined to become the Andromeda Saint, but luckily he held back, and only fought when he needed to. 
That aside, now it’s time to tackle all the positive things that could have happened had he not held back. 
Galaxian Wars / Black Saints Arc (forgive me, I forgot the actual name)
We had a taste of how smart and capable Shun is during his fight against Jabu, but all of that was thrown away thanks to Ikki’s appearance. Now, this doesn’t mean than Shun completely lost his competence, but he definitely held back for the sake of his brother.  This is obvious when we take into account the fight they all have against Ikki, when Shun tries to help his brother rather than stop him.  We already saw how dangerous Shun can be, when he faced Black Andromeda, so it’s easy to understand how much easier it could have been for the Bronze to stop Ikki if Shun was there to actively help against him.  Sure, he helped in the end, but he was probably the only one (at least at that point, because remember, he was the only one to have almost awakened the Seventh Sense) capable to stand his ground against Ikki.  Seiya’s success was more plot than skills, honestly speaking.  Shun could have been infinitely helpful, at least in making sure they earned a faster victory with less blood spilled.  To me, what we know about Shun’s power (though it’s only revealed later) makes it that he has a huge advantage that is ignored because of 1. Shun’s personality and 2. what’s needed for the plot and what was known of the plot. You all know he’s my favorite Bronze, at this point, but following a logical reasoning I cannot find something against this. 
On a side note, can you imagine how fast he would have destroyed Black Swan, if only he used his brain and not his heart?  Considering the outcome of his fight against Black Andromeda, and his knowledge about Hyoga’s techniques (which are kinda imitated by Black Swan), it’s not difficult to imagine he would have won.  He wouldn’t have done as good against all of them together, at this point of the story, but a one vs one fight would have definitely seem him victorious. 
Silver Saints Arc
I have no clear memory if that Docrates mess is in this arc or the one before it (the Italian division is a bit different and it confuses the hell out of me when I have to switch), but let’s put him here.  Because come on.  Shun getting thrown around like a doll? Yeah, no. Docrates might be a powerful - and not so brilliant or likable - warrior, but to the point of overwhelming a Saint like Shun with so much ease? I hardly believe it. I can  believe Shun having a hard time against him, especially considering how they won that fight.  Full power, I think Shun could have helped way more. I’m not saying he could have defeated a beat like Docrates all by himself, not at that point. Hyoga’s help was crucial for him to actually deal an effective blow.  But I’m pretty convinced they could have had a bit of a better time - especially Saori - because power makes the difference, even if it’s not enough to turn the tide without aid. 
Continuing with the same arc, we have another example of Shun being extremely competent and showing how strong he is when he doesn’t hold back.  How long did it take him to completely obliterate a Silver Saint? Not even enough to appreciate how badass he was.  It didn’t seem forced at all, more importantly! Most times, especially with Seiya, their victories seem so... well, convenient that it’s hard to believe they’re actually strong enough to beat their enemies. The plot armor around them is stronger than their actual armor, from time to time. This fight against Dante, instead, felt completely genuine. Shun and Ikki beating so easily two Silver Saints seemed incredibly normal and realistic, rather than feeling forced by the plot.  Of course, all the other characters have their genuine moments (yes, even Seiya), but I wanted to point this out for Shun in this particular instance because it’s necessary to understand how underrated he is. 
Sanctuary Arc
Moving on, we have what I like to call “Shun could have choked Saga to death and ended the entire Sanctuary Arc in less than five episodes”. Listen, does it seem so unreasonable? If it does, remember how Shun (with Ikki’s help, this is not something I’m ignoring, I like Shun but I don’t play dirty here) used his chain to break free of the Other Dimension (a place that’s supposedly impossible to leave? Hello????) and literally reached Saga where he was sitting.  What the hell, are we just ignoring the fact that he legitimately broke into the throne room of the most protected place of the entire Sanctuary, stole Saga’s cheap-looking trinkets, and shattered his control over him? For god’s sake, I’m SURE he could have at least managed to try and kill Saga where he was.  I’m aware he had no idea what the hell was going on, but had he used a bit more of his cosmo? A bit more of his concentration and intelligence? To me, it seems really weird that he only properly awakened his Seventh Sense so late in the arc. If Seiya was able to screw the plot over and get his precious Seventh Sense so early and easily, why wasn’t Shun given the same opportunity? Well, I know why, plot and everything, Shun’s actual power was still very much a mystery, but I’m going chronologically, and by logic. And what logic tells me is: Shun should have awakened his goddamn Seventh Sense there, realized he was stealing costume jewelry from the Pope, and at least knocked him out for the next couple hours.  For as much as i like joking about it, I know Saga is smarter and stronger than the average guy, Shun wasn’t going to be able to strangle him with the chain. But a good old pointy cosmo-powered chain to the forehead, well... come on. Would have been hilarious, other than useful. 
For the rest, the arc was pretty amazing.  His sacrifice for Hyoga? Yeah, he wasn’t holding back there.  And the fight against Aphrodite we all know how incredible it was.
Something I’m going to point out is how much Shun held back against Leda and Spica. That was all his personality, but he was able to defeat both of them in a couple seconds as soon as he used his true power.  I don’t really want to count that as holding back, but I have to. Because he was keeping his strength low, and it counts.  That was a time loss that could have been avoided. 
Asgard Arc
Now this, this makes me mad.  As soon as Shun leaves canon territory, it gets turned into this weak warrior with no desire to fight.  Either that, or he gets to fight but accomplishes little.  And this is exactly what happened in this arc. 
By now, we know how lethal Shun can be, and we know he awakened his Seventh Sense. It’s not theory anymore, it’s not fan wishes anymore, it’s Shun with one more sense to deal with.  And what happens? They give him the fight against the only enemy his goddamn chain doesn’t want to hit. Of course he gets that, and that his - actually beautiful - personality refuses to fight and instead insists on diplomacy.  Now, I loved that. I love how Shun tries to find a peaceful way around the war. But, once again, this is not the point of my rambling.  The point of my rambling is: Shun shouldn’t have needed Ikki to come and save the day.  Let’s take away Mime’s tragic backstory for a second, and let’s put Shun in the “classic” mind of a Saint; fight the enemy to the death, or die trying.  Shun would have won without any help. Sure, Mime is powerful, but Shun is as well. And we know that Shun is capable of facing enemies that use music as a weapon (as we learn later, in the Poseidon Arc).  Also, I’m pretty positive he has control over his chain, is not like the chain is going to ignore him like that. That weapon has a mind of its own, that’s true, but seriously speaking Shun has to be able to control it more than the chain controls itself.  That, and Shun himself refused to recognize Mime as an enemy.  Without holding back, Shun would have seen him as a proper enemy, and fought with no chain deciding “oh no no no, this is a friend!” like an overly friendly puppy.  Wrongfully, maybe, because as we learned Mime was, in fact, not a real enemy, but that’s not the point. 
Syd doesn’t really count. Shun was actually standing his ground against him, and incredibly well.  The reason Shun didn’t win right there and there was not him holding back, but the plot advancing and throwing Bud at him.  I don’t know how high I should hold this opinion, though, because to me it seems a bit weird that Bud is so powerful/stealthy that no one realizes he’s there. I’ve been skeptical about him, especially considering how he incapacitated freaking Aldebaran, but it is still a good reason for Shun not having won the fight.  Stealth can be more effective than raw power, sometimes.  Though, I believe Shun (and Aldebaran, for what it counts) should have been able to sense him. What, they’re going to show us the Saints can sense any kind of cosmo approaching them or far from them, but not realize that there’s someone right behind them ready to strike? Eh, it’s bizarre. 
Poseidon Arc
Right off the bat, he got his moment to shine against Io.  THAT, my friends, was incredible, and if Shun didn’t hold back - because he did, to avoid killing him, bless his merciful soul - Io would have died pretty easily.  Shun claimed his rights as Gold Saint, there, didn’t use all his power, and still beat the everloving soul out of him. 
Also, the fight against Sorrento? Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful.  I literally have nothing to say, he had a reason to hold back there, and I will not give him a forced victory. Sorrento was on his level, and even though I think the Nebula Storm would have killed him (remember, that technique keeps getting more and more powerful the longer it’s used), they were pretty equal.  Shun didn’t hold back, save for when he understood what the hell was going on and got an ally. 
What I didn’t like, however, was how harshly he was treated when Poseidon was the threat. Damn, I’m not saying he should have been able to face a god, not without a Gold Cloth and not alone, but jeez, he ended up being completely ignored.  Like “wait, I’ll help!”, and then poof. Disappeared.  But in this instance, not holding back wouldn’t have made much of a difference. Unless you want to be 100% full of logic, and use the fact that Shun was already a vessel for a god, there’s no viable excuses for him to be able to fight a god on his own.  Not at that point in time, and not in his conditions.  Things work only if they can work. 
Hades Chapter
I don’t have much to say here.  Shun was incredible, he fought without holding back for almost the entire series, and showed an almost merciless side. A good handful of that behavior was Hades, if we go by how Shun was portrayed beforehand, but I like to believe he finally got his time to shine and acted competent again.  After hall, he had his angry moments back in the classic, they were no different from this chapter. 
What I will say, however, is how they diminished him in Elysium.  Because let’s face it: a Saint that not only survived one of the most powerful gods ever possessing him, but also tricked and held him back, had every single right to be powerful enough while wearing a God Cloth to obliterate Hypnos from the face of Elysium.  How are you telling me to believe that the same person that defeated the god of the Underworld just... fell asleep against a minor deity? He was the first to get his God Cloth without the plot aiding him (yes, I’m still salty about Seiya), yet he did nothing, and got defeated by Hypnos like he was a weak little boy.  I understand he’s a god, but Hades was worse! I’ll tell you what would have happened. Shun would have sent Hypnos’ sorry ass back in the void he deserved to be in (I actually like Hypnos okay, Shun doesn’t) without batting an eye.  Surely someone that was able to withstand Hades’ power - and overwhelmed it, even if for a short time - could resist some minor god’s power. 
To conclude, on the same not, Shun should have definitely punched Hades in the face.  He was probably the only one strong enough to do so, aside from Athena. And probably the one with the right to do so, also. 
This is probablt the stupidest rambling I’ve ever wrote on this blog, but I regret nothing. 
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Mass Effect Trilogy Tag
I was tagged by @thepixelagora Thanks!
Dunno if I’ve seen anyone not do this already, so if you haven’t go ahead and consider yourself tagged!
I’ve been a fan since: Summer/fall-ish of 2015. During grad school. So many readings got ignored and so many assignments got pushed off in favor of playing the games. I was hooked the second I saw Shepard.
Favourite game of the series? Easy. ME3 without a doubt - ending included. Yes, that’s right (more on this in a bit). ME3 is obviously the culmination of everything you’ve been working toward, and I absolutely love seeing all the elements and squadmates coming together to kick absolute ass. Plus the emotional weight of every single aspect of ME3 absolutely blows everything else out of the water.
Honorable mention to Andromeda because for all of its developmental hell and technical issues on release, I think it’s a blast and I love the not-Milky Way narrative. It was such a natural progression for the series. The spirit of exploration in this game is absolutely unparalleled anywhere else.
Mshep or Fshep? MShep only because it’s the first time I’ve ever gotten to play a queer male protagonist and I will die on that hill. Still, all the power to FemShep, and wlw solidarity. We love seeing a badass woman giving zero shits and taking no names (despite the terribly misogynistic writing that got thrown at her and the ridiculous Male Gaze Boob Armor. Two words: practical suit. #Brienne of Fucking Tarth). 
Earthborn, Colonist, or Spacer? Um, I’ve never really based playthroughs on this? I’m not actually sure I’ve ever done the Colonist or Spacer route, so next time.
Biotics or Tech? Biotics. Basically a Jedi sans lightsaber? Give me the powers!!!
Paragon or Renegade? Paragon, but spicy. Even the best of people have their fuck-it moments where you just need to get things done. Or be sassy for the sake of being sassy. 
Favourite Class? Vanguard. Charge in - guns and biotics blazing - laying waste to all before me until I remember that sometimes the AI sucks and I get surrounded because my companions are fifty feet behind me. That’s my bad.
Favourite Companion? Excluding my LIs of choice because that’s just not fair to everyone else:
OT: Liara and Wrex. Liara’s character arc is one of my favorites. Her going from quiet, sort of unassuming academic to scary AF spymaster and chronicler of civilizations is just *chef’s kiss*. Wrex is just hilarious and I appreciate that he’s never afraid to stand up to Shepard or call them on their shit. 
Honorable mentions to Tali, Legion, Mordin, Jack, and James Vega.
Andromeda: Liam and Papa Drack. Liam is my Ryder’s best friend because they’re both a little flail-y and stumble through things while hoping for the best. Papa Drack’s curmudgeonly ways are just a front for how soft he is where Ryder is concerned and the dude has two hearts of solid gold. 
Honorable mentions to Vetra and Peebee.
Least Favourite Companion? Ashley, we knew her for five minutes. Honestly, I’m super meh on half the new companions in ME2. I recruit them and do their loyalty missions because I need them, but squaddies like Miranda, Jacob, Samara, Zaeed, and Kasumi just don’t hold a candle to any of the SR-1 companions. I don’t hate any of them by any means. My hatred is reserved for Kai Leng and Udina. I appreciate the skills the ME2 companions bring; I’m just meh. 
My Squad Selection:
Ooh, this really depends on the mission. If I know it’s a mission/area where there will be a lot of wide open spaces, definitely bringing Garrus. Closed quarters and such is all about Tali or Legion and the krogan. And since I’m almost always Soldier/Vanguard, I generally try to balance the team with a specialist and a gunner/tank. Or I pick them exclusively for their banter.
ME1 - Kaidan and Wrex or Liara and Garrus.
ME2 - Garrus and Grunt; Legion and Thane; Tali and Miranda.
ME3 - Kaidan/Liara and James or Garrus.
Andromeda - Jaal and Liam or Drack and Vetra.
Favourite in-game Romance: 
OT - Kaidan. Hands down. Mainly because he’s the only squadmate I can romance since BW are the way they are. His story arc is far and away my favorite from the series, and I deeply appreciate that he takes moral stands and doesn’t bend even if it means going his own way. He doesn’t love blindly; he’s loyal, but not to a fault. He’s discerning and serves higher ideals because he knows how fast things can turn dark. Even so, he epitomizes do no harm but take no shit.  ANYWAY, for more about my love of this man, please see my ~350k post-war fic (posting still in-progress).
Andromeda - Jaal. Oh my GOD, I love me my gentle giant angara carebear who will absolutely destroy you if you touch his darling Scott. Soft-spoken? Check. Dry humor? Check. Adorable? Double check.
Other pairings I like: 
OT - Only in fanfics, really, because - again - there’s only one squadmate my MSheps can romance in the trilogy and I don’t use the female squaddies as placeholders until ME3 because that feels weird. I do appreciate MShep/Liara and MShep/Jack, especially post-war. As for the non-canon options, I definitely have a soft spot for MShep/Kaidan/James. Or James/Steve because I think they’re cute together. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Andromeda - Scott/Gil are adorable together. I don’t love how fast it turns into, “Hey, wanna have kids?” buuuut, yeah, we’ve already established a weak spot in the ME storytelling. I can see a more MEA-renegadey-equivalent Scott with Reyes, but not my favorite way to play the game.
Favourite NPC: Joker. Absolutely Joker. Give me that comedic relief sidekick who keeps everything from being dull and depressing - and also isn’t afraid to call Shepard out on their shit. See also: Chakwas.
Favourite Antagonist: You, the player, making The Choice with the Crucible. See the “which ending” below.
Favourite Mission: London, and it devastates me every time. Like I said, I absolutely live for that moment when everything from all three games comes together and ratchets up to a whole new level. I honestly consider the entire thing one giant boss battle because there is no resting and every second feels like you’re one step away from total disaster/the end. And I find that kind of sequence infinitely more satisfying than just fighting Saren or the human Reaper (which have their places in their respective games), but everything is just so much bigger by London that it can’t be distilled down from all-out war.
Favourite Loyalty Mission: A tie between Liam and Peebee because the banter is the best of all four games. 
Favourite DLC: Of the ones I’ve played - because I’ve left things like Arrival, From Ashes, and Leviathan for future playthroughs to keep things fresh just a little bit longer - definitely the Citadel clone fiasco. It’s just perfection with all of the nuances of all the squad relationships.
Control, Synthesis or Destroy: Oh, boy. If I haven’t lost you already by this point, I’m about to. I love the ending on the whole because it’s so unconventional. Like I said, I consider London the boss battle because the Reaper War just can’t be boiled down to a traditional boss fight. It’s too big, too involved. Once you’ve reached the Conduit and dispatched TIM, you’ve won. You’ve done what no one else has ever done before because you’re motherfucking Shepard. Unless you don’t care about your military readiness or you pick Refusal (just - why? I literally cannot fathom doing nothing just because mY fReEdOmS), you’re guaranteed victory against the Reapers. That doesn’t happen in games, and I love it here.
The games are all about choices, so the antagonist here becomes your own choices over the course of the trilogy. Your own sense of your Shepard’s morality. Who did you support and save along the way, and what are you willing to sacrifice now? How do you want your victory to shape the future of the galaxy? What’s your legacy going to be? Soooooo... yeah. I think the Red, Blue, or Green rhetoric is more than a little superficial because there’s so much nuance since the end started getting determined way back when with curing the genophage and Rannoch. Also Shepard is clearly an archetype of every fictional messiah figure ever and was never guaranteed a happy ending. Get that high EMS and kill your soul with the Destroy ending and let the post-war angst flow.
The Crucible is how Shepard’s story ends, for better or worse. They won. It cost a lot. And ultimately I’m way more intrigued by how players choose their little mini-canon endings for their individual Shepards and why they justify it because these games are about way more than the normal sci-fi shooter/RPG ilk.
Favourite Weapon:
M-8 Avenger. Because I’m hella basic like that and proud of it. Just let me aim and hold down the trigger.
Honorable mentions to the Widow sniper and the Disciple shotgun.
Favourite Place: The ME3-era Normandy. It feels the most like home, somehow. Partly because all the Cerberus crap is gone, partly because it feels the most stable for Shepard. 
Favourite Quote: 
OT - (Serious quote) "It’s gonna be what it is." - Kaidan Alenko. So simple, so fraking heartbreaking.
OT - (Funny quote) “This is all Joker’s fault, what a tool he was! I have to spend all day computing PI because he plugged in The Overlord!”
Andromeda - (Serious quote) “Except I am going to fuck your shit up. How’s that for great?”
Andromeda - (Funny quote [Oh, God, there are SO MANY]) “‘Mad’ is the smallest word for what I am.”
#Alright I just spent three hours on this #It’s probably time to actually write/edit my damn fic
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marahope-things · 3 years
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I think the similarities that people are finding between Adora/Catra and Mara/Light Hope are less to do with the relationships being the same internally (as in, in terms of the dynamics between the two characters) and more to do with the fact that their stories deal with a lot of the major themes of the show, because the two pairings embody a LOT of the major themes of the show between them.
I don’t think it’s an accident or any kind of misrepresentation that the two relationships have parallels, but as someone who enjoys Mara/Light Hope A Whole Lot, while being pleased but more or less happy with how Catradora is presented in the show and not feeling a need to go beyond that, I want to unpick why, and what some of those differences are.
Partly because I think people make broad, thematic-level arguments about why a pairing is attractive to them, and for me, there are a lot of intra-relationship or interpersonal dynamic elements that have more bearing on why I like a ship. And it’s hard to frame in a positive light, but with Catradora, they already engage with some relationship dynamics that I’m a huge fan of (namely, rivalmancy, childhood-friends-to-lovers, and enemies-to-lovers).
The big similarities I see people picking up on are: The mind-control thing, and the "you deserve love too"/"you’re more than what you can give to other people" exchange.
And these are extremely valid parallels! They touch on two Extremely Core messages of the show! They’re very real! And you’re correct—those parallels do mean something about Mara and Light Hope, about their importance to the show and its message. Mara and Light Hope embody many of the show’s core themes, and I am glad people are starting to write about that!
But I find myself sometimes feeling like that’s… not quite the reason why I like the pairing. Y’know?
So, with the caveat that this is just my feelings about the pairing, and probably literally everyone who ships either Catradora or Marahope has a different opinion than me in some way or other, I want to discuss the major differences between Catradora and Mara/Light Hope as I see them.
Because we started liking these ships before we saw the themes that they’d be used to embody in the end, right?
Breaking it down
What Adora and Catra have is a rivalmancy, essentially—especially when they’re first introduced.
Even when they’re on the same side, they have a competitiveness to their dynamic, and part of what drives their split is that Catra, on some level, resents Adora for getting all of the things that she wants, but can’t have, because of (basically) Shadow Weaver—and then abandoning both it and her. It’s a rivalry between peers, fellow soldiers, and there’s a colossal amount of abandonment issues and emotional trauma involved as well. They’re also both close to the same age.
And they were raised together. They spent their formative years extremely close, and their split has a lot in common (probably intentionally) with painful adolescent splits that happen as people grow up, change, grow apart, and (sometimes) come back together. It’s quite moving!
Mara and Light Hope aren’t peers in the same sense; you get the sense that they started out more like co-workers, and their eventual split only happens because Light Hope has their mind wiped and their ability to choose taken away from them (Catra, on the other hand, makes a lot of choices that put her and Adora at odds, often intentionally). The two of them work together and depend on each other, and they become friends, and their roles are complementary. Literally neither of them could do the other’s job, and they depend on each other’s skillset and resources to stay safe and fulfill their own duties effectively.
So they meet as fully-formed (relatively) people in a professional context and become closer, rather than being together for those formative years and undergoing a separation as they change and discover they don’t fit the same way they used to.
There’s also an implication that Light Hope may have trained other She-Ras in the past. I don’t know how long Mara expected her tenure as She-Ra to be, but it seems like that could be a lifelong commitment, once she’s been chosen. If so, then that could imply that Light Hope’s "age" (though I don’t know if that’s something anyone would even keep track of for an AI, because they weren’t supposed to change and “grow” like a person) is on the scale of centuries by the time she meets Mara.
And even if you headcanon them traveling to Etheria together immediately after Light Hope was minted, they’re still not really anything like Catra and Adora in their dynamic. The development of their relationship has a lot more in common with interspecies or human-AI relationships in sci-fi—Terminator, Andromeda, and Killjoys come immediately to mind.
I’m also intentionally including platonic relationships here, like John Connor and Uncle Bob in Judgement Day, too, because this is such an established trope, and touches on some of those Core Sci-Fi Questions that exist in the genre—about the nature of life, consciousness, sentience, individuality, and choice. It’s not just in a romantic context that you see humans and AIs ruminating to each other about what beauty is, why people find flowers “pretty”, what it means to have free will, to feel emotions, or to be an individual. Hell, you can even include Data from Star Trek in that list.
But it is also something of a trope for AIs to "fall in love" or develop special bonds with humans that they work particularly closely with, or for humans to fall in love with AIs (sometimes they go more Pygmalion with the latter and cast the human as the AI’s creator).
Which brings me to the core trope being engaged in Mara and Light Hope’s relationship, one that Noelle has actually alluded to in their remarks during the "Exit Interviews" streams:
Relationship makes Light Hope more than their intended purpose.  
Memory and programming
In one of the streams, Noelle states that the writers’ room made the decision that something about Etheria "broke" the people who have tried to conquer it, and kind of made them part of itself (God this show has Star Wars all over it). He uses several examples, including Hordak.
Hordak, however you feel about him, develops a sense of individuality that makes his re-assimilation into the greater Horde impossible. Like Light Hope, he remembers things he isn’t supposed to, and on being presented with a physical reminder of Entrapta and his relationship with her, Horde Prime’s conditioning begins to break down.
Over the course of her arc, Mara comes to realize that being She-Ra means something more than her superiors have told her, and on realizing what her superiors are doing to Etheria, concludes that She-Ra, and all of Etheria, are being exploited and need to be protected from the First Ones. So, by betraying the First Ones (breaking her oath to them), Mara fulfills her role as She-Ra.
And Light Hope falls in love with Mara, something she was never supposed to be able to do. In the end, it is the memory of Mara that allows Light Hope to break through her programming long enough to allow Adora to destroy the Sword.
I know I brought up how AIs gaining sentience and self-will is a trope within sci-fi, but the best recent example that I can think of off the top of my head (and the reason I was able to articulate this at all) is actually The Good Place, with Janet.
In The Good Place, successive reboots are the in-universe mechanism that allows Janet to grow and change—but it’s her relationship with the other core characters that shapes who she becomes and what she believes. In fact, if she hadn’t been stolen and rebooted so many times in the first place, she never would have become who she did at all.
So: Like the rest of the cast, relationship makes Janet more than she was originally intended to be. Relationship makes Janet whole and fully alive. Light Hope’s story is, um, a bit more tragic, but I think the comparison works.
Catra and Adora, on the other hand, are dealing with a separate problem(/s): Catra’s pain and abandonment (and Adora’s self-abandonment) as a result of what they endured growing up, and the angst of childhood friends growing up and growing apart. It fits very squarely within the parameters of She-Ra as a kids’ TV show.
To boil it all the way down, their relationship *is* the problem. And it takes the whole show to fix it.
What’s suggested by the (sparse) textual evidence on Mara and Light Hope is that their relationship followed a more well-worn sci-fi path: By becoming friends with Mara, Light Hope learns how to be in relationship with another person, how to make her own choices, go against her programming as needed—how to have fun and appreciate beauty and being. Her falling in love with Mara is, metaphorically, her learning how to be alive in the world. Through loving Mara, she gets a glimpse of a world beyond being someone’s instrument, someone’s tool.
That’s part of what’s so heartbreaking and beautiful about them: In the midst of a situation that’s that’s built on deception, concealment, and coercion, where both of them appear to have been lied to or denied the entire truth by their superiors, where Mara, Light Hope, and the entire planet of Etheria are considered expendable by their superiors as long as they get their shiny weapon, Mara (who seems to understand that there’s more to life than duty and heroism) creates a space for Light Hope that is free from the constraints of her programming, to a degree. And as a result, Light Hope changes.
If Light Hope is a villain for her role in all of this (and this is complicated by the fact that she’s a programmatic being created for a particular purpose), then loving Mara is part of what makes her redemption possible. Her relationship with Mara makes her more than a weapon. In fact, it breaks her as a weapon.
And there’s certainly elements of that in Catra and Adora’s relationship, but it’s not the throughline that it is for Light Hope and Mara until you get to season 5—a full three quarters of the way through the show.
Love also doesn’t play as positive of a role in Catra’s redemption arc, really (where her parallels to Light Hope would be the most obvious), both because her villainy is something she explicitly chooses, and because her internal conflict and pain regarding her feelings for Adora are so much a part of her villainy. It only becomes redemptive in Adora’s struggle with the Failsafe—i.e. when we get back into the world of the First Ones, where most of the themes of "destiny" live.
So yeah. That’s the breakdown. I want to get into the individual tropes, but I’m going to have to save that for another day.
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Impressions from TTM
Spoilers, spoilers everywhere. Just a big bulleted list of thoughts as I read through the graphic novel. Not a lot of detail included, so it’ll make a lot more sense if you’ve already read it yourself!
looks like Moonshadow elves cross the arms of the dead... when they have a body to bury
it’s nice to see that Rayla imagines Runaan with all his shirts, the way she last saw him
kinda looks like Rayla changed into her jammies right on her bed and dumped her clothes on that little table. maybe she’s afraid of letting the few things she actually possesses out of her sight
listen we get one little panel of Opeli in here and it’s great
Soren’s cape smacking Callum in the face, 10/10
Lujanne’s appearance out of nowhere, along with Allen’s is just adorable, she’s so sparkly. And also she can apparently just turn totally invisible with an illusion spell? Even at a new moon? Probably because of the Nexus I guess
Lujanne’s “Big strong man with big strong feelings.” She and Runaan have exactly the same type and I support them
Allen’s face when Lujanne says it aches to miss Phoe-Phoe
Callum eating off Rayla’s plate and wondering how Lujanne suspected they were a couple, hmmm
Soren and Allen bonding
Rayla warning Lujanne about hand disguises, as if that was something Runaan made very sure she knew
Rayla’s cute chaos grin when Callum’s Aspiro spell goes off is my favorite pic of her in this whole graphic novel
Lujanne’s “Oh.” afterward is my fave pic of her, too, she does not seem to handle reality well!
Bait’s tongue will never get old
Lujanne’s whole speech during Phoe-Phoe’s rebirth ritual is so touching and beautiful, my heart
Lujanne putting the newborn Moon Phoenix into Ezran’s hands, like she knows he’ll have the best connection with her
Callum’s tears as he reminds Rayla that Runaan killed Harrow, he’s trying to move on, but it hurts
Rayla’s self-soothing behavior when she has her second nightmare in the book--she must have these most every night :((((
the big symbol on the Moon Temple doors looks like a stylized Moon staff, like it’s a building for mages
Lujanne saying Rayla might not want or need the truth right after Callum mentions Runaan’s name to her, he sassily asks about her husbands and she turns it into a compliment
Callum’s big reaction to the moon opals is adorable. The only other one he’s seen was part of a pair of treasured gifts between long-time spouses, so it kinda looks like he’s all “uhh we just started dating”
also Ethari must’ve made cute metal swirly covers for the pair he and Runaan wore, since these two are undecorated--maybe he got his from Lujanne?
listen Lujanne is a hoot and all but she’s both an ally and an antagonist. Her actions are trustworthy but her advice is generally terrible. It’s an interesting parallel to how Runaan says a lot with his actions too, but he talks a lot less than Lujanne
Rayla yeeting herself into a fight just to ask Soren for a talk is 10/10 Moonshadow assassin goals
but her hood is up when she’s lurking in the trees--she might not have known where she’d find Soren and was anticipating something less fun on the feels-o-meter
Rayla in the mud again. Soren keeps making people fall in the mud
Allen’s grumpy squiggle
Callum, I love you, but you have no respect for moon opals. It’s like they wronged you in a previous life or something
that dancing elf has very long hair and shoulder pauldrons, and they start off dancing with six kneeling, watching, hooded elves around them--Moon Druids wore hoods even before they were assassins. Considering what Lujanne said about why the portal was sometimes opened, maybe those six kneeling elves are waiting under their emotion-hiding hoods to farewell a loved one who’s recently died?
can’t tell for sure but maybe the elf is dancing along the lines in the stone like they mark patterns for ritual dances, which would be the bomb
Soren and Rayla’s conversation is pretty wrenching. Seeing Soren have to struggle with what he did because it’s tangled up with Viren is rough because as a Crownguard it should just have been his duty to defend his king and he’d have nothing to feel weird about
Rayla dissociating herself from the term “assassins” and Soren dissociating from calling Viren “my father” in the same conversation is 10/10 excellent growth
Soren must know what happens to prisoners his dad gets a hold of, even if he doesn’t know the details :(((
“we captured him” and “Viren took him” seem to be talking about the Crownguard and Viren, not the brodigies and Viren
Rayla having a wooden sword at the end of the day bc she played swordfighting with Allen and Soren all day long
the panel where Rayla doesn’t say anything at all after telling Callum that she asked Soren about Runaan actually says so much, you can hear it
every time Lujanne’s white lies idea gets repeated, things get worse
Allen’s reading glasses, there must be one optician in the human village and he caters to soft kindly gentlemen of a certain age
in the moon phase montage, baby Phoe-Phoe is flying next to Ezran after one week at the Nexus. Maybe he’s paying her back by helping her learn to fly after she helped him teach Zym how to fly! Did they bond as tightly as Ezran did with Zym? I support Ezran just bonding with the most powerful flying creatures in all the land.
the irony of Callum using Lujanne’s tactics against her is amazing, but really the white lies thing is a giant ball of chaos in this story and it does not play favorites
Bait on the stone pillar during rebuilding
all the noises the Moonhenge makes are 10/10
Rayla dancing with Callum even though there’s almost no chance she’s ever done that dance before
Lujanne’s pupils going white, that is a cool effect, what’s it mean?
the black moon in the pink sky is so spooky! Is it just me or does the color scheme here kinda vibe like the space outside Aaravos’s library?
the smoky assassin squad, 10/10 creep factor, I love it
the lightning being a literal crack of doom with “CRAK-DOOM” as Katolis Castle appears, “echoes of thunder” indeed, very nice
Lujanne being mad but she can’t decide if it’s at Callum or herself
when she says pulling Rayla out now will leave her soul on one side and her body a husk. After the Insta live stream last night where we learned that soulfang serpents are Moon primal creatures, that’s... super interesting
smoky assassins go tssh in the rain like they’re still hot from being cremated, thanks I hate it
Andromeda finds Rayla first and seems closest/most aggressive so I wonder why she might hate Rayla more than the others
the assassins’ wrist bindings have gone red but they’re still attached and seem to trap the souls where they are. But all they need to be free is to perceive that Rayla completed their task, even though we know otherwise. So... would that work for killing any target? If you’re certain that you did it, does your binding fall off even if you’re wrong? eyes Pip
this must not be the actual afterlife since the spirits kind of mist up toward the moon and vanish, it’s more like a lobby, no one stays here unless they get stuck
portaling around just by shouting at villains, excellent
Rayla literally dropping a sword at the sight of the pod Viren’s in, yeah, it’s that creepy, I agree
Viren’s eyes are so black I think they’re Aaravos’s. I got a whole headcanon on Good Viren and Evil Viren for S4 now, wow
Phoe-Phoe pulling out a feather for Callum, awww my heart! This is why Ezran had to come, to bond with her so together they could save Callum and Rayla, it’s so sweet
so these humans are from the Storm Spire battle, bc that’s the Storm Spire behind Rayla and Callum on p108, with the rune-written arch. Did they die hating Rayla and Callum from the battle? Did they even know Rayla was up there? Or is pod Viren/Aaravos actually making them attack out of hatred for Viren’s death? One of these is definitely creepier and more awesome
Rayla’s confidence that Callum can and will boost her at the right moment with his magic, my heart, I love battle couples
that one panel that mirrors the Ghost Feather key art, hhhhhh
Rayla being the better swimmer, such precious irony, thanks Runaan
them holding hands and swimming upward together on the full-page panel is blessed
Lujanne pulling Rayla out of the lake with both arms gives me feels bc my grandma saved my life once
Lujanne being super soft over Rayllum, she is indeed a hopeless romantic
Rayla says “gone” about her parents and Runaan, and that’s the word Ethari used too, and I’m suddenly wondering if Ethari reached right into that pool and has always known that the lotus is half-submerged and if the sword he’s been making is for himself
I’m so glad Rayla told Callum what she saw of Viren
Rayla deceiving Callum and heading into danger alone because his life is more valuable to her than her own is exactly what Runaan did for her the night of the full moon in Katolis. I’m leaning toward her having thought this over and doing it on purpose bc she believes it’s a sign of deepest love--that Runaan’s actions and Lujanne’s words match up in her head, so she thinks it’s the right thing to do bc the mage and the assassin agree. Alas, Callum doesn’t understand the Moon arcanum yet, so he will have a different opinion. That mage and that assassin do not agree!
Rayla’s cloak has that Moon Temple symbol on its back. Is it Lujanne’s cloak? Any Moonshadow who sees it will probably know where she got it and who helped her. That could be fun!
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