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sinofwriting · 6 months

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Girls Are Private Creatures - Pierre Gasly & Charles Leclerc

Words: 2,399 Summary: Pierre and her have always been best friends, having a baby together didn't change or complicate that until he says something he doesn't mean to. Note(s): Was very fun to write and somehow Charles managed to sneak in his way into this as a love interest, still not too sure how that happened, lol. This is a one off, no part two, sorry everyone! Also, I don’t speak french and while I didn’t use google translate for the french, I still used a translator.

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“Ah, there are my favorite girls!” Charles exclaims, jogging over to them, exchanging kisses on the cheek with her before taking the baby out of her arms. Elodie gives him a gummy smile and he coos at her, nosing at her hair, before pressing a kiss to her cheek, a giggle leaving her because of the smacking sound it makes. “So, beautiful, Miss Elodie. I shall have to keep you and your maman close.”

She shakes her head at the poor wink Charles gives her, but gives a nod, stepping beside him as he begins to walk around the grid.

“Is that Elodie?” Max asks, as they start to pass the Red Bull garage. “Can I?” He asks, looking at her, with his arms already reached out to take her from Charles. Charles pouts at her, but she ignores him, looking at her content baby. “Elodie.” Her little head turns to look her way. “You want to go to Uncle Max?” Elodie gives a little squeal at the name, hands shaking and she smiles, nodding. Max eagerly takes the baby from Charles' arms. “I can’t believe you are letting Max Verstappen hold her.” He pouts. “You are just mad, your Elodie time got cut short.” She playfully scolds, bumping their hips together. He pokes his bottom lips further out for a second, before throwing an arm over her shoulder, tugging her close for a side hug as they watch Max talk to Elodie, bringing her into the Red Bull garage and pointing out different things to her.

“How are you feeling?” She sighs, drawing away from Charles. “I’m fine, Cha. You don’t need to worry about me.” He frowns at her, crossing his arms over his chest. “You are my friend. I will of course worry.” He then tilts his head to nod at her face. “You have circles, chéri.” “I have a six month old. Sleep is not a blessing I get.” Her french accent is thicker and his eyebrows raise, her upset clear just from that. “You only get circles when you are worried and not sleeping. What is happening?” She swallows, eyes locked on Elodie who now is babbling to Max in her babytalk, the driver has such a serious look on his face, as though he understands every word of it and is taking notes. The words are bubbling up in her but she sees Christian joining Max and Elodie and upon spotting her, he smiles waving her over. “It is nothing, Cha.” She shakes her head, giving him a smile, before reaching forward to squeeze his arm. “Let me know if you’d like to stay the night with us. Elodie always loves seeing her godfather.” “Of course.” He murmurs, watching as she leaves to join the trio in the Red Bull garage and before he can think better of it, he’s moving to Alpine’s garage.

He’s easily able to get to Pierre’s drivers room and he doesn’t bother knocking, just throws the door open, uncaring of the near naked state of his best friend and his protests as he shuts the door behind him, hands settling on his hips.

“What is wrong?” “Charles!” Pierre is looking at him with wide eyes, a hand over his crotch despite the fact that he has underwear on and it’s nothing that Charles hasn’t seen before. “Get out!” “Non. What is going on? Y/N and Elodie are here, you are nowhere to be seen. She isn’t sleeping and is worried about something but won’t say what.” Charles pokes at his chest, harshly, ignoring the yelp it earns him. “What did you do?” “Why is it me who did something?” He protests, the hand that has been hovering over his crotch, moving to rub at the spot Charles had poked. The younger looks at him unimpressed. Pierre sighs, sitting on his massage table. “I, uh, I fucked up.” “That is obvious.” “Thank you, calmar.” Charles shrugs. “I said it was a mistake.” His brows furrow. “What was a mistake?” Pierre winces and he braces himself on the table. “All of it. Us kissing and then starting our, uh, benefits. And uh Elodie.”

His head wipes to the side before he knows it and he can feel the sting on his cheek and something a bit wet on his lip. His tongue darts out and he can taste a bit of blood.

“Tête de noeud.” Dickhead. Charles spits out, glaring at one of his oldest friends. “Comment pourriez-vous dire une telle chose, penser une telle chose.” How could you say such a thing, think such a thing. “Je sais.” I know. “No, vous ne faites pas de lien. Elle est votre fille.” Charles hisses. No, you don’t. She is your daughter. “Et elle est votre plus grande partisane, la seule personne qu'elle aime le plus est Elodie et pour vous,” He stops himself, shaking his head. Anger and sick tangling together and sitting heavy in his stomach. And she is your biggest supporter, the only person she loves more is Elodie and for you too, “Je ne peux même pas te regarder. Tu me dégoûtes, Pierre. Je ne veux pas vous voir près d'eux ou moi. Et j'espère que personne ne s'en posera la question. I’m not feeling kind.” I can’t even look at you. You disgust me, Pierre. I don’t want to see you near them or me. And hope that no one asks about this.

Before Pierre can say anything else, he leaves throwing the door opening and ignoring the looks from fucking Esteban of all people as he leaves the stupid French garage.

Hours later as she burps Elodie, humming softly as she walks around the hotel room, she hears a knock.

“Charles.” She greets, opening it. “Chéri.” He greets back, pressing a kiss to her cheek before stepping into the room and closing the door behind him. “She ate already.” He notes with disappointment, spotting the cloth over her shoulder. She throws him a sorry look as Elodie lets out a burp, making them both tell her good job and she pats for a few more seconds before rubbing at her back. “She’s been hungrier recently. You missed out by ten minutes.” “Is she still eating at night?” He asks, taking Elodie from her and cooing at the baby, rubbing their noses together just to see her little eyes go cross eyed before pressing a kiss to her forehead, inhaling the scent of baby with a bit of vanilla from that perfume he had bought Y/N for Christmas last year. She watches him with an amused smile. He always did the same thing with Elodie. “She wasn’t, but for the past few days, yes.” “Perfect.” He beams. “I will take the midnight feed.” “Cha,” she warns. “You have free practice tomorrow. You don’t need to exhaust yourself.” “It is free practice. Besides, I've driven the tractor hungover once already this season. I can handle a little free practice with some exhaustion.” He rolls his eyes at the idea of being exhausted from Elodie. She was many things but never exhausting and he tells her that.

“Exhausting, miss Elodie. Why I’ve never heard such a lie!” The baby giggles at his exaggerated tone and expressions, little hand going up to rest on his cheek and he pretends to eat it making her squeal. “Exactly! Your maman is crazy for saying so.” She stares at the two, feeling a pang in her heart as she’s reminded of all the times Pierre did something similar.

He always wanted the late night feeds, really any feeds he could get. He took all the diaper changes too, uncaring of the blowouts or when she started to move more how difficult it could be to get a new diaper on.

Tears prick in her eyes as she thinks of him, a weird concoction of sadness and anger dwelling in her. She knew he had been lying when he said that Elodie was a mistake. Pierre loved being a father. It hadn’t been something he wanted so young or expected but he loved Elodie, truly loved her. She was less sure about them kissing for that first time and then continuously falling into bed together. He could think of that as a mistake. But it was a mistake that led to Elodie. So could it really be one when it gave them such a perfect baby?

“Pierre told me what he said.” Charles murmurs after he sets Elodie on her playmat, which she grunts at before getting distracted by the toys hanging in front of her. She shudders, arms going over her chest. “He is a dick.” “Not in front of Elodie, Charles.” She warns. She didn’t care that Elodie couldn’t truly understand what they were saying or even hear them. She wouldn’t have Pierre insulted in front of her. “I’m sorry.” He apologizes, eyes flickering over to her before returning to Elodie whose babbling. “He shouldn’t have said those things.” “He shouldn’t have said that she was a mistake.” She corrects. “Pierre can say what he pleases about me, not her. Never her.” She murmurs. “Nor you. If you won’t stand for him saying such things for Elodie, which I will as well, I won’t stand for him saying such things about you.” “He didn’t mean it, Cha.” She shakes her head. “He loves her, adores her. Do not burn bridges you’ll regret.” “For you, I could never.” Her eyes snap away from Elodie and meet his eyes. “Charles.” He shakes his head. “Don’t say anything. I’m just telling you. You are worth more than he has given and ever thought of giving you. And if,” he pauses, lifting her hand, her left hand, to his lips. “You ever want to give us a chance, I will be here. And even if you don’t, I will still always be here for Elodie and you.” She watches with wide eyes as he presses another kiss to her hand before dropping it and pressing his lips to her forehead. “Lay down, relax, chéri. I will take care of Elodie.”

She does lay down, but she is unable to relax. Because hadn’t Pierre teased for the last year and a half that Charles had a thing for her? Something she ignored, thinking he was pulling her leg, being a little shit like normal. But to know it was true, to learn the truth of it. It sat heavy in her heart and god it aches at the thought of Charles and his feelings.

Charles wasn’t perfect, no one was, except for Elodie, but that was a bias that the majority of them had when it came to her little girl, but he was amazing even with his faults. His people pleasing ways, pushing his feelings away, not putting himself first, the anger he sometimes carried with him, the grief that still sat heavy on his shoulders. But there were his pluses as well, his dedication and focus to racing, his love for his friends and family, his ability to not have to be on all the time, to be able to sit at home or somewhere and chill, and his patience. He was unbelievably patient but also knew when to push, to not give up or in.

Something warm starts to bubble in her as she considers, admittedly not for the first time, a relationship with Charles. The way he’d come home to her and Elodie after days away. The sweaty hugs after getting out of the car. The dinners and vacations with his family. The gentle way he’d touch and hold her. Not like she was fragile, but something important. And Elodie, the way he’d be with Elodie, more so than he already was. She can see the days and nights when they have Elodie, not Pierre, how they’d put her to sleep together, play with her, read to her. Watch as she crawls and then toddles around. Can see him bringing her around Monaco to the spots he grew up with as a child and sharing them with Elodie.

The thoughts and near dreams are overwhelming but in the best way possible. However there is Pierre to consider. He wouldn’t disappear from their lives, he could never, not just because of Elodie, but because he was a best friend to both of them. He would always exist with them and she knew that Charles could handle her past with Pierre, he had already dealt with the knowledge, had a constant reminder of said past in front of him in the form of Elodie. But would Pierre be able to handle her and Elodie having a future with Charles?

They weren’t in love with each other. They certainly loved each other, but there was a reason that they only had sex and never went on dates and always made faces at the jokes and ideas of being together. Sex was a different beast than a relationship. And they both never wanted a romantic relationship with each other. They both had gone on dates with other people during their time as friends with benefits. She had only stopped after learning she was pregnant and once she was further along, Pierre had too in solidarity. It hadn’t lasted too long as soon as Elodie was two months he went back on the scene, but it had been something.

Her lips twitch into a smile as she's reminded of how excited Pierre had been when he came back from his most recent date. Rambling equally to both her and Elodie about how pretty and smart his date was and how she even liked kids, babies at that.

She’s jerked out of her thoughts by the sound of her phone chiming. Grabbing it, she sighs seeing Pierres name but opens the message.

Could I say goodnight to Elodie. Just goodnight. I won’t stay longer She sighs again, quickly typing out of course and sending it.

“Pierre is coming to say goodnight to Elodie.” She tells Charles, sitting up. He frowns, scooping Elodie up and sitting on the bed beside her before setting Elodie down to the left of her. “Will you be okay?” “I’ll be fine.” And she reaches out to him, taking his hand in hers and intertwines their fingers, earning wide eyes from him. “Besides, I think I need to talk to him.” “You mean?” “I mean, let me talk to Pierre. Make sure he’ll be okay with this. He means too much to both of us to not check.” “I will hit him again if he’s not.” The promise makes her jaw drop, “You’ll what? What do you mean again?” “Ah.” He swallows nervously, and he’s suddenly able to feel the ring that caught Pierre’s lip earlier more than ever. “Nothing?” He offers, with a smile.

@cixrosie @teti-menchon0604 @eugene-emt-roe @badbatch-simp24 @darleneslane @fanboyluvr @gemofthenight @peachiicherries @lpab @copper-boom @benstormy @boiohboii @iloveyou3000morgan @topguncultleader

#pierre gasly imagine #pierre gasly x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x reader #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 imagine

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wordstome · 5 months

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What are the dads’ favorite bonding activities with their kids? 🥺

hello friend!!

Price: I like to imagine Price's girls are engaged in all sorts of extracurricular activities from ballet to the school play. I think his favorite bonding activity with them would be taking them out to eat after a recital or a performance. Just his little ladies and some good old greasy spoon diner food: what else could a man want? And you know that when the girls grow up, those nights are going to be some of their fondest childhood memories.

Ghost: Caden is a parallel play kind of kid. He's quietly doing his little crayon drawings next to Simon watching a tv show. I could also see them bonding when Simon takes Caden out to run errands with him, groceries and stuff. Caden gets a bit of socialization, and Simon is there if he gets overwhelmed and needs a bit of comfort. It really brings them together: the kid knows that no matter how distant his dad can be, he can always rely on Simon.

Soap: JOCK ALERT. His favorite bonding activity is taking his kids to the park. Impromptu soccer games, roleplaying on the playground equipment, buying them ice cream on a hot summer day. When Elodie's older, she stops going, preferring to hang out with friends or do her own thing. But I can see wayyyy in the future when she's an adult, she'll have a lot of nostalgia for those days and will love going on walks with her dad.

Gaz: Kyle is a planned activities kind of man, a very take the kids to Disney World and make lifetime memories sorta guy. Every summer the family gets an airbnb by the lake, and every winter they're off at a ski lodge. (Here's to that delicious, delicious dual income household.) Violet and Elliott are always the kids blowing into the first day of class full of stories about all the fun stuff they got up to over the summer.

König: Dress-up. Come on, you knew this was coming. He's so girldad. Ava can't keep her hands out of her dad's luscious locks, and loves making him paper crowns because of his callsign (he definitely speaks German with her at home so she knows what it means). He also buys Ava those big plastic playsets that are a grocery checkout or a little kitchen and roleplays little scenarios with her. Ava's a militant chef, by the way. She would make a great line cook.

Horangi: Concerts with his daughter, Ryujin. Probably a few raves, as well. Ryujin's a punk rock and indie scene kinda gal, but she'll listen to anything, and has a few favorite kpop groups whose concerts she's dragged Hong-jin to. He's a diehard Once (fan of the girl group Twice) himself. They've also definitely gotten a few tattoos/piercings together, which would be an odd thing to do with your dad if Ryujin's dad were not so cool.

Keegan: Same as Johnny, except instead of taking his kids to safe parks and soccer fields, he takes them into the woods. Camping, fishing, teaching them a bunch of useful skills. It's such a "things your divorced dad does with you when he doesn't know what else to do for the weekend you're staying with him" activity, but Jason and Cecelia have never had someone do those things with them before, so they're having a good time. Other than that, laser tag and airsoft is a big one. Keegan was hesitant to get them into stuff like that, but they've always been curious about his military career and things just sort of escalated from there. I saw this tiktok of a cosplayer in a Logan mask captioned "when you're playing airsoft with your 15-year spec ops dad" and it's the cosplayer plastering themselves against a wall in terror: that's Keegan's kids. He's not going to hold back when he plays, and they don't want him to.

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polarsirens · 1 year

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okay also i sort of missed the right time to say this but shoutout to every single person who said the gerard/elody conversation piece captured the disjointed, not-actually-communicating feeling of the whole thing, i love you. the text arrangement was part of my own confusion and process of making sense out of this talk that i really couldn't get a grip on (even while drawing) and reading the tags/comments actually helped me sort of find words for how that felt.

#i think quite a few people said this was talking “at” or just monologing rather than talking “to” or “with”#and i think that really helped make it click for me #<3

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galacticwarpedlense · 6 months

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Sooooo,

It is taking a while to draw anything multi paneled so here’s a thing while I draw. I decided to make a Fem Elliott. My main challenge just trying to keep the facial structure I usually give Elliott instead of softening everything to my usual girl style. I like it so it goes on here.

For names I'm debating between Eloise and Elodie. Both are cute, Eloise def holds a more "Elliott" vibe while I just like the name Elodie more.

#stardew valley #sdv #stardew #stardew elliott #sdv elliott #stardew valley elliott #sdv art #stardew art #stardew valley art #sdv fanart #stardew fanart #stardew valley fanart #art

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saingirl101 · 1 year

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Gerard and Elody thoughts (Spoilers for ep 9)

Wow episode 9 of NeverAfter really got me having feelings about our mister frog man and his sweetheart.

I think a lot of the fandom definitely misjudged gerard at first because of the way he presented himself but thats what is so amazing about this story, due to the very bltant horrible things happening to Ylfa and Pinocchio its easy to draw that line to gerard's story. Especially after we literally jumped from pinnochios story, to ylfa and then to gerards.

What happened to him also wasn't justified. He was 10, barely a pre-teen, who was stuck by himself as a frog for years, without actually companionship, facing the elements, almsot dying, no one believed him when he said he was a prince, his own family didnt even try to look for him.

Even a shitty 10 year old doesn't deserve this. As the group says it made sense that he just wanted balls and fun stuff. he missed out on all that.

While Gerard does look back on this suffering and what he been through with the gang as a way to take ownership of his actions and how he behaved I also think the tragedy of his romance with elody was after he turned back to human she didn't understand his childhood trauma.

But regardless of this all you can tell where Elody started to fall for him. Gerard cursed (her expression when he said the full f-bomb was one of awe), he was a slimy frog but he kept his word and got elody's golden ball, and he ultimately wants her to be happy. Which makes me so optimistic that perhaps there will be a happy ending for these two.

They deserve to live happily and get to learn and each other and fall back in love again.

#neverafter #neverafter spoilers #neverafter episode 9 #neverafter origins #princess elody #prince gerard of greenleigh #elody x gerard #dimension 20 neverafter #dimension 20

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thestylesfamilysblog · 4 months

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I WAS SCARED YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE ME! For weeks those girls have been spreading lies that I cheated, that I hate you, that I only got into Harvard because my daddy’s a famous singer, it’s been weeks of being harassed, having my things stolen or broken, having pictures of me plastered across campus with drawings on them…they kept attacking me because they wanted you and it’s been hell…I told you what I thought you needed to know and I was wrong, I should have told you everything…but I didn’t want you to see me the way everyone else has been seeing me…I didn’t want you to stop loving me because of the horrible things these girls have been doing to me…I was scared that everything we had would be gone…and now I’m scared it’s too late for me to fix it…and maybe I should go..- Elodie//

IN WHAT UNIVERSE WOULD I NOT BELIEVE YOU ELODIE?! THESE ARE THINGS I NEED TO KNOW! God F🤬 Ellie, I would never stop loving you over some made up bullshit from some nobody with no life that goes to our school! Now that I know I’m sure as fuck taking care of it!-Teddy

I don’t know I was scared and have been feeling so inadequate and insecure lately and I’ve never felt that way before with you, and-I’m just fucking stupid okay!? I’m an idiot…and I should have told you but I just didn’t want more people being dragged into a mess thats mine…I just- I didn’t want you to love me less😞 - Elodie

#elodiestyles #rostyles #thestylesfamily #bostonbabies #teddyevans

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elodiethefirst · 7 months

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Adventuretober day 2 - music

#adventuretober #adventuretober 2023 #adventure time #flame princess #huntress wizard #elodie draws things

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embersflameboy · 1 year

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NEVERAFTER COFFEE SHOP AU???

This started as me going haha what if.../jkjk

I don't think its a joke anymore

I think in the town of neverafter there's a small coffee shop/library (like Barnes and Nobles with Starbucks in it except instead of it being like 80% library and 20% Starbucks its more like. 60% library and 40% coffee shop) Henry ownes and works mainly in the coffee shop area while Mother goose works in the library (with their son Jack, who i imagine to be in his late teens because??? Thats the vibe man idk what to tell you)

Mother goose definitely reads to the children, including his own books and other fables and fantasy stories of frogs and princesses.

And then there's Gerard...I imagine him to be Tim & Henry's neighbor and they both looked at the man and his failing marriage and went, yep! We can adopt some late 20~ year old into this family bookstore coffeeshop.

But there's trouble abrewing, as books, snacks, and small toys (mostly snacks and small toys) start to go missing. Gerard finds the culprits and for some reason I imagined him to find the culprits while he's taking the garbage out??? Because. Of course.

The culprits obviously being Ylfa and Pinocchio and Gerard being like. Wtf do I do with them.

(They get adopted into the family, too)

Pinocchio brings in a little cat who Always wears his little cape and boots and if you dare take it off of him you WILL get his claws. His name is Puss in boots but everyone just calls him Pib.

Ylfa meanwhile gets a big wolf stuffed animal from mother goose, who she names The Big Bad Wolf. Because, of course.

I think Pinocchio enjoys the more hands on activities and starts to sculpt little wooden mini figures of the characters that are in the stories Tim reads the children (and him, but he swears he's definitely not listening. Its just a coincidence. Totally.)

Ylfa is a warrior cats fan because, like,

Come on.

Rosamund joins the family later when she's got no where else to go and looks to her cousin for help.

On the other side I think the princesses own a shop called Daughters of The Crown thats just a flower shop. They sell variety of flowers and gardening things and trinkets. And. Gerard definitely doesn't stare at the shop where Elody works in (although I imagine its not her full time job? Rather shes there part time.) Hes fine. Everything's fine. Yep. Their marriage is. Totally a-okay.

(No one believes him)

And the last thing to close this. Ramble

I lowkey imagined the lines between to be a mall?????? With Aesop owning a bookstore there too. Idk if everything happens in the line between (mall) or not but. That sure was a thought.

Kinda wanna draw this. But. I've rambled a lot. I'll probably ramble more about this because???? Of course my brain attaches the horror campaign to a Fluffy au. Why wouldn't it.

#dimension 20 #neverafter #ylfa snorgelsson #pinnochio #puss in boots #rosumund du prix #how do you spell her name #neverafter rosamund #??? man #gerard greenleigh #au #i think that ylfa would name her stuffed animal big bad #because every pre-teen is cringe and would absolutely do that #i would know. i was a pre teen. ikr #i think ylfa got into reading from funky animal comic books #to then timothy being like. hey. hey. warrior cats?#is mother timothy goose a warrior cats fan......#.......probably

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luckhissoul · 7 months

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continued ( xxx ) @agoldenlily

she could leave just like that, couldn't she? he knew that it was just a stupid joke. but the thought hit him harder than it should have. she was a bloody queen after all. how long could he really keep her happy? interested? the thought floated around briefly, something he didn't want to take root. that was stupid. he knew that. but sometimes he got to looking at her and suddenly she was a little too much. he knew that sounded downright stupid, a little pathetic actually. he never had let himself get so in over his head over a woman before. but here he was, a little at a loss. looking at her his head got to doing all kinds of funny things, wondering about things that he hadn’t wondered about before. Wanting something that always felt out of reach, light, but she should be out of reach.

only she’s not. she’s right there with him, so close that he could reach out and touch her. And she wouldn’t pull away either. she might even draw in closer. the thought still seemed to sit uneasy with him, and a little - well, a little bloody wanting, too. like he wants her to. but that was an insane feeling. another crazy thought, how long would she actually want to? he lets out a laugh, shaking himself out of that line of thinking. there was no need for it. he knew that. he didn't need assurances. not that he would ever ask her for any. he wasn't that pathetic. of course not. he would never be pathetic enough to ask for any kind of assurance. he reaches over to muss elodie's hair, she has so much of it now. "well, then, what are you going to do? just cut my head off or something? isn't that what you people do?"

#v; behind two doors #agoldenlily

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chenria · 1 year

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For several years now I draw one of my OCs greeting the new year and the "light of hope"... so... after some consideration I decided on my Princess Elodie (from "Arcadie: Second Born") because I didn't want to repeat characters just yet...

I wish you all a happy new year 2023. Let's all hope things will look brighter next year ♥

Patrons and supporters on Ko-Fi can get a higher resolution of this piece.

Patreon | Ko-Fi

#original character #digital art #happy new year 2023

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gaysontodd · 1 month

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what do you think is the most important aspect of a movie, book, etc to draw/keep your attention? or like what in media is most important and interesting to you

oooo thats a tough one to answer. like ive tried three times to type it out akdnkskd

overall though, the most important thing to me is how the main character interacts with their world. do they exist in it, or are they transplanted in?

for example, in the movie damsel elodie doesnt exist in the movies world. she seems to be entirely unaware of the social and cultural norms and has a completely different mental view of life and what she can expect from it than everyone else. shes a modern(ish) woman transplanted into a historical fantasy film.

in the movie enola, enola acknowledges the social and cultural norms she disagrees with and and makes it clear that she does disagree... without acting like they simply dont exist. she lives in the movie's world.

in mad max: fury road, furiosa lives in her world. she understands the rules of the movie's world. the strong live and the weak die. women are weak and men are strong. she understands. so she became strong and she didnt die. she works within her world. she runs and steals and fights because that is how to survive in that universe. the wives are fundamentally unappealing to me as characters because they dont live jn the world, not really. "no unnecessary killing". they want to be peaceful, but in their world survival is antithetical to pacifism. you know?

#ask #anon #thank you!!! this one was interesting

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somuchbetterthanthat · 11 months

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The thing that is very frustrating with me and my brain is that I have tons of ideas, tons of things I constantly want to start, to create, to do, etc. but apart from extremely rare occasions, I never end up making them a reality, it just swim at the edge of my brain, and you can blame executive dysfunction and fear and perfectionism and just me etc. etc. but the point is, it never stops the ideas from coming anyway. I keep having more ideas, and I keep thinking -this time!- and so I'm always excited to share them -- but that's where the extra frustration come in, because deep down, I know how this ends, and, over time, friends and acquaintances do as well so it always ends in three possible scenarios:

Friend is absolutely lovely and engage enthusiastically over the idea, considering how it could be made, or assuming that I will make the thing happen. I start to feel overwhelmed and angry at myself after two days because I know i won't do it, or i can't do it because it would require too many ressources and time and such. I feel bad and frustrated at myself and it never happens.

Friend know the cycle and only minimally engage with the idea, or even just goes "oh cool"; not out of not friendship, i assume, just because, y'know, "elodie suggesting a new idea she'll never make happens four time a week". Entirely understandable, but then my brain is like "well, they're not interested, it's not interesting, and you both know you're not going to do it anyway. Same old story." and bam, extra frustration.

I try not to tell friends the idea because I don't want to make my friends feel bad about the cycle, and it's not their responsability, and, well, the desire to make it will be gone in two days, won't it? But no. No. The idea turns and turns and turns, and i never get to it, because, well, I can't do this on my own, i need to share, and then it piles on on the top of ideas and desires I have that I never end up doing but they never disappear, they're all just a bunch of papers filling more and more of the space in the room but they're not hiding the window so! here's one more idea, right there, and.... I get overwhelmed and do nothing and brain gets frustrated and sends order to the body to become wild, and the only way to stop it is...........share the next idea to alleviate the load a little bit. cue back to scenario 1 and 2.

it's exhausting. I really do wish instead I thought of an idea, decided if it fell into the unrealistic or realistic category, and if it's the realistic, I just. did it. but mental schema and whatever. the last barrier to break etc. anyway. this is about me not writing and not drawing and not sewing and not getting up to do yoga or not getting up to change up my room or not getting up to cook or

#personal #and sometimes someone will be 'lets do it now!' and brain just freezes like nope nope we're not READY #ready for what??? who fucking knows #;god brain is a pain in the ass to live with

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