How would the Cullens act during karaoke? Assuming everyone's gotta sing something, yanno... to keep up appearances?
I mean, this could be something they do for funsies on their own. Now you just have me picturing Carlisle who has been dragged to a work karoke bar function and is awkwardly trying not to sing by his colleagues then pushed up there to sing "Uptown Girl".
This is a very headcanony question so the below is based entirely on nothing. Or at least, on very little. We never see the Cullens do karaoke.
Alice is completely into it but only ever sings catchy pop songs typically performed by female singers or all female bands. She thinks it's great fun.
Bella's horribly embarrassed and refuses to do it. She's mortified. If pressed, she'll try but is so mortified that even as a vampire it just comes out as squeaky mumbling. Edward assures her she sounded wonderful.
She knows she didn't and refuses to do it ever again. (Especially when Emmett laughs at her and uses it as his ring tone.)
I imagine he finds the whole karaoke thing a bit strange. He gets forced into it though and probably defaults to the same John Denver song every time.
(He did David Bowie once and it got too weird. He never did it again and the family never mentions it.)
Edward is above karaoke and finds it pedantic and stupid. Much like Christmas. He'll indulge the family if forced to and goes out of his way to show off how vast his musical knowledge is and force you to listen to his rendition of some artist he believes is niche and unlikely to be known by many.
You're listening to Edward do Linkin Park songs.
And telling him he did a great job.
Emmett gets so into it, too into it, and deliberately picks the worst songs. I imagine there's a lot of "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go!", "What's New Pussycat?", "Delilah", "I Will Survive" and basically every ridiculous karaoke number you can picture.
Doris Day. So much Doris Day. All Doris Day. I imagine a lot of "Que Sera".
Japser has no idea what he's doing, and he can't sing. Every attempt at karaoke is painful. Somehow, he's worse than Bella.
He ends up sticking to Neil Diamond songs as then he can sort of talk instead of sing.
Renesmee gets very into karaoke as it's a glimpse into the human world and is fascinating for it. As a result she picks the worst songs and weirdest fucking music as she has no idea what any of these songs are.
I imagine a lot of accidental Bollywood numbers are selected.
Rosalie does duets with Emmett and has herself a grand time.
I really would’ve liked if Bella had a special interest in history and fashion and antiques cause like imagine the Cullens don’t get discovered by solely because of Edward but because Bella notices shit about their clothes and how they talk and is like “huh.” And also I think the Cullens forgetting how time works since they’re immortal and don’t sleep is just a funny concept
- she’s like “hey Edward does your family go antiquing” and he’s like “uh no why do you ask” “oh it’s just your sister Rosalie’s broach is from the 1957 spring collection of-”
- “why is your edition of Macbeth from 1911?”
- “does it bother you that your brother Jasper calls it the war of northern aggression like wtf is that”
- “yknow Emmett asked me if Charlie was a soldier in World War II”
- “Alice just asked me if I watch I Love Lucy on the tube? Is she being ironic?”
- “Ever notice how your dad says thou sometimes?” And “When I was at the hospital I saw him cross ‘hysteria’ out of my patient notes”
- “your mom must really like Gibson girl updos, she’s always sporting one at the store”
- “I’m like sixty percent the sweater you’re wearing was dyed using arsenic”
Carlisle after receiving a call from the school saying that Emmett drop kicked Edward across the football field while Jasper did 58 consecutive backflips in the cafeteria and Alice and Rosalie had a dance off that leveled the Gym:
Poly Emmett+ Rosalie+ fem reader or poly Alice+ Jasper fem reader nsfw headcannon please 🤍 Also happy Valentine's day love 💕
anon ur mind 🗣️🗣️🗣️ i decided to do both bc i have no self-control when it comes to horny thoughts abt vampires and i have many ideas i want to share !!!
fem!reader, smut/fluff, 3-person sex, oral mentions, dirty talk, mentions of being both human/vampire!
rosalie and emmett are very dedicated and somewhat domineering lovers. rosalie calls most of the shots whereas emmett tends to get lost in the pleasure and passion of the situation, leading to him doing whatever feels right in the moment. put these two together and prepare to melt from how flustered they’ll get you. their forms of teasing differ but impact you all the same, leaving your skin warm and your thighs clenched.
“look at her,” rosalie hums, tracing a perfectly manicured nail down the side of your leg. “i don’t think i’ve ever seen her this needy, have you?” she completely ignores the expression of embarrassment that crosses your face, waiting on her other lover for a response.
“begging for it,” emmett agrees, with a grin.
+ rosalie loves riding faces and will take the opportunity every time, squeezing emmett’s or your cheeks between her thighs. she also enjoys telling emmett exactly how to touch you and instructing the two of you for her own pleasure. emmett’s favorite time is whenever you both tease and play with him (or each other) and spoil him rotten. if you’re still human, expect unending gentleness. if you’re a vampire, especially newly-turned, prepare to not leave the bed for a week. lastly, get used to the nicknames “honey” and “baby” since they’re all you’ll be hearing ♡
alice and jasper have two different modes when it comes to sex: playful and the physical representation of a mindfuck. when they’re playful, expect lots of giggles from alice and flustered smiles from jasper, who is always left a little light-headed from the outpour of emotions that fill the room. there are lots of kisses, breathy moans, and teasing on days like these. but when they’re in a mindfuck mood, prepare for your soul (if you still have one) to leave your body. alice knows exactly how to pick you apart and jasper can crank your arousal up to an almost unbearable level, leaving you desperate for every ounce of attention they give you.
“shh, dearest,” alice soothes you, dainty fingers circling your slickened core. you’ve lost track of just how many times she’s brought you over the edge, but your body quivers with the anticipation of another orgasm.
jasper kisses your temple with a lopsided smile and you feel the rumble of his voice against your skin. “s’alright darlin, we’ll take care of you.”
+ alice and jasper are very clingy in the bedroom and you’ll often find yourself sandwiched between them and their wandering hands. they also need to see your face and will always position you in a way that gives them full access to all of your expressions and provides them with the sensual eye-contact they adore so much ♡