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artwithoutblood · 3 months

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all of us have a disease. it is awakened. mine came with the betrayal of ephah in ██. i watched how it infected him. perhaps i willed it when he rotted under my watch. he deserved it.

how it arises in other people is something i do not entirely understand. i want to say prolonged exposure, but people i've known for weeks will develop it and not those i have known for years, in some cases. but sometimes it is sporadic. it's spread either by random, granted by some unknown force as an unholy gift, or it is passed through wounds.

I'm wondering if it happens because Aeron consciously or unconsciously wants it to. They did say perhaps they willed it.

It sounds like Ephah pissed them off? But they called it a betrayal...

I don't think Aeron hated Ephah. Aeron was saying they deserved it, so they were angry and bitter, but there is a rose imagery to what happened to Ephah at the end. Aeron talked about the eyes looking just like their own, about how Ephah was smiling.

Maybe it's a possessive thing, to mark and consume the other person and put them in that blissfully delusional/easily controlled state. Wasn't there a delusion ending where Aeron looked like a human and seemed to be the players partner 'looking after' them? It means they submit to Aeron, love them, and nobody else can have them.

Aeron does like to see people suffer and/or play nurse as a weird form of affection. Apparently they love through pity? Wiping tears away? Dependence and vulnerability. They love a broken bird.

They break people so they can care for them, create the dream of being together in a normal world, and then the person dies. Aeron thinks this is the only way romance can happen for them and just repeats it. They collect Lost Lenores.

I think maybe Aeron and Ephah were lovers of some kind, or Aeron wanted them to be. And drama ensued. (Perhaps Ephah wanted to be independent, favoured someone else, or tried to leave. And that was seen as a betrayal.)

The parasight does seem to happen to the people Aeron wants to pick up for dates.

Speaking of... when Iris went mad from feeling the unseen stares... I wonder if it was Aeron's omnipresent gaze she became aware of. Their attention was intense enough to make itself felt. Perhaps it was just one of those rare moments where they focused on one thing and it was too much.

Perhaps they unconsciously willed it.

That's some Evil Eye ish right there.

(Also the stares seemed to come from the paintings. Can Aeron look out of paintings? Did they do something to them when they 'repair' them or do they have domain over things that can count as eyes or eye motifs? And the lady was called Iris. A flower but also the coloured part of an eye. Another theory I have is that layers of different realities overlapped, and perhaps without knowing you/Iris and maybe the other patrons wandered from the normal art gallery into Aeron's.)

i can tell you one thing for sure: for each person, it is different. based on their insecurities, i believe. a belief is better than something unfounded, unsure.

Demons seem to manifest their beliefs about themselves, their perception of the world.

Aeron is strongly related to sight and perception, being an artist and also needing to believe that they see everything, everything they see is complete and true... They see themselves as all knowing and in control. To think that something exists that they can't see, or that something they see isn't real... that's their fear, to not have control of their own power of delusion. (I don’t think they do. They seem to mislead themselves as well as others.)

I wonder if it's Ephah's ghost they can't see. I wonder if Ephah is the old lover they somehow 'keep'? I don't know exactly what keeping the old lover entails. Perhaps as a preserved exhibit or their blood being used in paintings. (I don't actually know how Aeron uses the blood.) Perhaps being haunted by them, figuratively or literally.

Perhaps by occupying their body and repairing it piecemeal rather than ever abandon it. Aeron did take the form of an ancient Middle Eastern human, the first human they met and the one that set the tone for their interactions with humanity. It was implied that Aeron took on only their appearance, but later it was mentioned Aeron took over the body of a lover, only once, and never did it again. And apparently demons can still use bodies affected by the parasight. It fits.

The name Ephah is mentioned in the bible. So at the very least we know Ephah is a known name of a Middle Eastern location and an ancient time period. And there are a few of them but one is mentioned as transporting gold and frankincense in Sheba so perhaps travelling. The area of Sheba isn’t well defined but could be in Africa - or Southern Arabia, within the same large region as Jordan where Aeron first roamed.

I wonder if that short censored bit is a date, or a location. Sheba? Is there an ancient name for Jordan? Jor and Dan were the two northern tributaries that fed the river. This became Urdan/Urdon. Arabs then named it Al-Urdon. It could be any one of those.

Eri had something similar with the hallucinations before finding his own way with his power of words. (I wonder if that was a temporary touch of the parasight that healed but that was before meeting Delusion - or was it? - so it was possibly just head trauma. Or something else supernatural. And it's been confirmed that the erupting and healing scales on his skin are not eyes, but snake scales from the snake eyes. Cruelly the eyes seem to be doing it, not him. Another loss of agency.)

I wonder though... Eri's powers definitely come from his need to control/be in control and are an offshoot of Delusion's. But they are explicitly verbal.

Did his power of words and the ability to shape reality come through the snake eyes as well? I mean, when someone is very persuasive about something that isn't true or real you can metaphorically say that they have a forked tongue. The snake was the original bad influence. Eri can literally manipulate people like puppets and manifest entire fictional realities. I bet he could be really dangerous if he chose to gaslight.

I think that's something he and Aeron share. A real thing about having control. Maybe that's another reason for tension. Aeron wants a power imbalance dynamic Eri can't bear.

Genesis possibly has something related to hearing, music or emotion. It seems he can sway people's emotions and cause them to do really irrational things, or destroy them outright with sound waves. I wonder if his own uncontrolled emotions and impulses come out unconsciously, and they confirm a secret feeling of him not having it together, being out of control. That's why he was so embarrassed about the player finding the corpse, and why he impulsively lashed out.

The powers/curses are definitely the demon's own emotional issues projected outward.

the side effect is has on other demons i only learned after the demon of dreams used it in his suicide attempt. i have chosen to keep quiet about this knowledge. the other do not need to know. this is silas's failed mission. i am just upset he tried this....without asking me. even if we did not know each other.

So Silas did get the parasight from Delusion to use it for himself... previous conspiracy theory confirmed?

at its lightest, it changes the eye color of the demon's bodies permanently. his eyes weren't always like that. that's not to say all demons have regular eyes. erebus's nor dorian's were caused by me.

I'm wondering then if it was the previous aspect of Delusion who pranked Eri with the snake eyes and demonhood and not Aeron... hence the fear of but not outright hating Aeron themselves?

(I've speculated about that before. However it's not 100% as I do have some plausible ideas of why Aeron themselves might have wanted to do it. A fascination/aesthetic attraction towards Erebus at one point has been implied.)

I wonder if there's any carryover or memories of their past 'selves', even fleeting feelings of deja vu? Or if all that dies with the old vessel.

One thing I will say though. Even if Aeron wasn't personally responsible for giving the parasight to Silas or playing the cruel prank on Erebus, mischief and unintended drama seems to be inherently bound up with every incarnation of theirs. Delusion is chaotic, a trickster god.

perhaps your death to the parasight will result you in being the angel that people have described in two books. i cannot know that. i do not know that. or maybe i do, and i just should not tell you that.

Whether they gain an immunity or could potentially ascend to demonhood themselves. And begin to have their own inner nature supernaturally manifest.

I'm wondering if it happens because Aeron consciously or unconsciously wants it to. They did say perhaps they willed it. It sounds like Ephah pissed them off? But they called it a betrayal... I don't think Aeron hated Ephah. Aeron was saying they deserved it, so they were angry and bitter, but there is a rose imagery to what happened to Ephah at the end. Aeron talked about the eyes looking just like their own, about how Ephah was smiling.

he loved me once. at least, i believe he did. he was one of the first people i ever met. when i crawled from the sand, hair over my eyes, blood crusted inside my nose, he took me in. he cleaned me. he gave me a name. it is not the one i use now. i stole that from another corpse.

he tried hurting me is all. tried pulling my limbs apart with the power of a village, tried cutting me up and gnawing at my flesh to take as his own. despite an exchange of spit, he wanted only a theft of meat.

and, in a way, he got what he wanted.

i never learned what it was. my conclusion is that he realized my power. one of the only ways to tell a story is "a stranger comes to town." it's not to say i'm powerful or anything. i'm just me, i'm just what is necessary, but if something like me stumbles into a small village, there may be chaos. rumors. thoughts. perhaps this is a feasting of the divine, and by imbibing the flesh, he would have been granted power. that has never worked, not for me, not for most people i have known. some like it that way. maybe he did it to silence something evil.

maybe he did it out of love. i was young, naïve. it still hurt. i did not care. i barely care now.

it could be possession. i am unaware. but i have had to take care of people. i pluck an eyeball from my own vessel and place it inside the forehead of whoever needs it. i send them to sleep, and they play out a delusion, usually involving my person, until their body dies. genesis called it a strange word once. he called it mercy.

Aeron does like to see people suffer and/or play nurse as a weird form of affection. Apparently they love through pity? Wiping tears away? Dependence and vulnerability. They love a broken bird. They break people so they can care for them, create the dream of being together in a normal world, and then the person dies. Aeron thinks this is the only way romance can happen for them and just repeats it. They collect Lost Lenores.

it is in the act of love that makes it love. all of you are so fragile. it is amusing. it is tragic. i want every bit of it. is that wrong? is it wrong to do these things and have these thoughts when i, by some unwritten law, tear apart everyone i love? perhaps. i have no plans to change it. to change what is established.

The parasight does seem to happen to the people Aeron wants to pick up for dates. Speaking of... when Iris went mad from feeling the unseen stares... I wonder if it was Aeron's omnipresent gaze she became aware of. Their attention was intense enough to make itself felt. Perhaps it was just one of those rare moments where they focused on one thing and it was too much. Perhaps they unconsciously willed it. That's some Evil Eye ish right there.

this is basically what happened. it's randomized, it's rare, but that's it. that is why the faces all turn blank but the eyes look the same of those around whoever enters "the spiral", as dubbed by aeron and genesis in the demo.

not so much just paintings and more anything that has eyes represented. sculpture, print, illustration, whatever. i repair paintings that are affected in the spirals because i feel it is my duty. no one is going to do it as well as i will! i've seen the trends....foolish, if you ask me.

Demons seem to manifest their beliefs about themselves, their perception of the world. Aeron is strongly related to sight and perception, being an artist and also needing to believe that they see everything, everything they see is complete and true... They see themselves as all knowing and in control. To think that something exists that they can't see, or that something they see isn't real... that's their fear, to not have control of their own power of delusion. (I don’t think they do. They seem to mislead themselves as well as others.)

basically correct. they don't like this idea of mass delusions. only controlled, specialized ones. those are more fun to them. there is a part in their route where you see figures that you shouldn't. you shouldn't know the names and faces of their past lovers, but you do, and that scares them.

it's the only thing that does.

ephah was a young man. not the one described in religious texts. i let his new flower rot. i took from him whatever locks of hair shed from his skin and placed it in a jar. he is not the one whose body i possessed.

the one i possessed was named ████.

i'm so sorry.

i'm doing what i can.

aeron otherwise "preserves" dead lovers by taking pieces from them and keeping them in a collection. sometimes it is their artifacts. the swirling drink from the beginning of the game is from a man named crow who died in the 90s in a shootout. sometimes it is pieces of their body. it depends. they have never used parts of their lovers in their art.

the use of blood in the art is typically a joke. it is used rarely, but it's often just auctioned to some thirsty ass vampires.

do you remember...oh, fuck. i forgot myself. hold on....oh, yes! how i said it randomly occurs to random people? yes. erebus was a case. a very, very mild case touched by the manifestation. i was alerted of it and came to visit him. instead of killing him, i took it as an opportunity. i keep telling him to just die. to not suffer anymore. but he's so....stubborn? why? i still don't get it!! he's not going to have the eyes if he just dies. he's not human anymore! i don't get it.

you never will.

I wonder though... Eri's powers definitely come from his need to control/be in control and are an offshoot of Delusion's. But they are explicitly verbal. Did his power of words and the ability to shape reality come through the snake eyes as well? I mean, when someone is very persuasive about something that isn't true or real you can metaphorically say that they have a forked tongue. The snake was the original bad influence. Eri can literally manipulate people like puppets and manifest entire fictional realities. I bet he could be really dangerous if he chose to gaslight. I think that's something he and Aeron share. A real thing about having control. Maybe that's another reason for tension. Aeron wants a power imbalance dynamic Eri can't bear.

that's why they're toxic old demon yaoi. /joke

erebus can manipulate people, and he can make people really, really confused on their reality. but he isn't there yet. once he gains control over his life and his being will these abilities be realized.

but that's the whole thing with erebus. the point of his character is that he is capable but he is too anxious, scared, or some other negative emotion to take that leap. just like i am. just like a lot of us are. sort of this fear of not being in control, the paranoia of not being in control. but he is. he can make those decisions. there comes anxiety with the consequences and the act of making the decisions as well.

aeron very explicitly states that he is willing to relinquish control from erebus. he already has. erebus has chosen to stay. their relationship is built on misunderstandings on both sides. there is a happy ending for them.

oh, 100%. 100000%. he's accidentally made people feel ways about him that reflect how he feels about them. once he saw a really hot guy, played a song, and the guy was like, feeling hot under the collar if you know what i mean. it's awkward. music makes us feel weird things.

So Silas did get the parasight from Delusion to use it for himself... previous conspiracy theory confirmed?

you know what makes me so mad about this? he found a victim of a randomly-gifted parasite and ripped everything out of their body, leaving them hollow, before i got there to tale care it.

i suppose it's good to know someone else is willing to do your dirty work.

i'm sorry, lucia. i wouldn't have brutalized you like that.

I'm wondering then if it was the previous aspect of Delusion who pranked Eri with the snake eyes and demonhood and not Aeron... hence the fear of but not outright hating Aeron themselves? (I've speculated about that before. However it's not 100% as I do have some plausible ideas of why Aeron themselves might have wanted to do it. A fascination/aesthetic attraction towards Erebus at one point has been implied.)

i can confirm it was an aspect. they run around. billions of eyes in the cosmos. don't know how they get there. don't care. everyone's got them. genesis does too. stray tunes stuck in your head that you can't seem to get out. don't know where they come from. that's how lullabies are made.

not my fault me and delusion itself like a little drama. we might be the same thing on different levels, but delusion gets frisky sometimes.

I do wonder about this. There was something about the Afflicted being special, a novelty because nobody really survived that long before. (?) I wonder about the route where Erebus tries to cure it, and what happens if the Afflicted actually 'survives' it. Whether they gain an immunity or could potentially ascend to demonhood themselves. And begin to have their own inner nature supernaturally manifest.

erebus will try to cure it based on silas's notes. that does not go well. or...no. it doesn't go how you expect.

the afflicted, oh that beautiful thing....they're a novelty because no one has survived a spiral that long. again, a spiral is when someone suddenly realizes the constant perception from forces unknown, they go crazy and lash out at anything around them.

if i wasn't there to interfere, the afflicted would have died, and this wouldn't be an issue.

the longest anyone has survived with the parasite has been 5 days. at least, before it changes them. i wouldn't say you exactly die with it every time. sometimes you just become something different.

you know what i think the only solution is?

are you ready to experience your first death of hundreds, of thousands, my love?

#i love aeron and kayn answering their own asks specifically so that's what's going on here #erebus ask #genesis ask #aeron ask #silas ask

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transgenderer · 9 months

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¹ The Lord spoke to Moses, saying: ¹² Speak to the Israelites and say to them: If any man’s wife goes astray and is unfaithful to him, ¹³ if a man has had intercourse with her but it is hidden from her husband, so that she is undetected though she has defiled herself, and there is no witness against her since she was not caught in the act; ¹⁴ if a spirit of jealousy comes on him, and he is jealous of his wife who has defiled herself; or if a spirit of jealousy comes on him, and he is jealous of his wife, though she has not defiled herself; ¹⁵ then the man shall bring his wife to the priest. And he shall bring the offering required for her, one-tenth of an ephah of barley flour. He shall pour no oil on it and put no frankincense on it, for it is a grain offering of jealousy, a grain offering of remembrance, bringing iniquity to remembrance.

¹⁶ Then the priest shall bring her near, and set her before the Lord; ¹⁷ the priest shall take holy water in an earthen vessel, and take some of the dust that is on the floor of the tabernacle and put it into the water. ¹⁸ The priest shall set the woman before the Lord, dishevel the woman’s hair, and place in her hands the grain offering of remembrance, which is the grain offering of jealousy. In his own hand the priest shall have the water of bitterness that brings the curse. ¹⁹ Then the priest shall make her take an oath, saying, “If no man has lain with you, if you have not turned aside to uncleanness while under your husband’s authority, be immune to this water of bitterness that brings the curse. ²⁰ But if you have gone astray while under your husband’s authority, if you have defiled yourself and some man other than your hus- band has had intercourse with you,” ²¹ —let the priest make the woman take the oath of the curse and say to the woman—“the Lord make you an execration and an oath among your people, when the Lord makes your uterus drop, your womb discharge; ²² now may this water that brings the curse enter your bowels and make your womb discharge, your uterus drop!” And the woman shall say, “Amen. Amen.” ²³ Then the priest shall put these curses in writing, and wash them off into the water of bitterness. ²⁴ He shall make the woman drink the water of bitterness that brings the curse, and the water that brings the curse shall enter her and cause bitter pain. ²⁵ The priest shall take the grain offering of jealousy out of the woman’s hand, and shall elevate the grain offering before the Lord and bring it to the altar; ²⁶ and the priest shall take a handful of the grain offering, as its memorial portion, and turn it into smoke on the altar, and afterward shall make the woman drink the water. ²⁷ When he has made her drink the water, then, if she has defiled herself and has been unfaithful to her husband, the water that brings the curse shall enter into her and cause bitter pain, and her womb shall dis- charge, her uterus drop, and the woman shall become an execration among her people. ²⁸ But if the woman has not defiled herself and is clean, then she shall be immune and be able to conceive children.

²⁹ This is the law in cases of jealousy, when a wife, while under her husband’s authority, goes astray and defiles herself, ³⁰ or when a spirit of jealousy comes on a man and he is jealous of his wife; then he shall set the woman before the Lord, and the priest shall apply this entire law to her. ³¹ The man shall be free from iniquity, but the woman shall bear her iniquity.

for some reason this kind of wacky guilt ritual seems out of place in the bible to me. like it should be medieval. but of course the wacky medieval rituals are the distant descendants of the wacky ancient rituals. anyway. really love that the drink is tabernacle dust. thats desert floor dust! gross!

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roman-catholic-mass-readings · 4 months

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6th January >> Mass Readings (Except USA)

The Epiphany of the Lord

6th January (before Epiphany).

The Epiphany of the Lord

(Liturgical Colour: White: B (2))

First Reading Isaiah 60:1-6 Above you the glory of the Lord appears.

Arise, shine out, Jerusalem, for your light has come, the glory of the Lord is rising on you, though night still covers the earth and darkness the peoples.

Above you the Lord now rises and above you his glory appears. The nations come to your light and kings to your dawning brightness.

Lift up your eyes and look round: all are assembling and coming towards you, your sons from far away and your daughters being tenderly carried.

At this sight you will grow radiant, your heart throbbing and full; since the riches of the sea will flow to you, the wealth of the nations come to you;

camels in throngs will cover you, and dromedaries of Midian and Ephah; everyone in Sheba will come, bringing gold and incense and singing the praise of the Lord.

The Word of the Lord

R/ Thanks be to God.

Responsorial Psalm Psalm 71(72):1-2,7-8,10-13