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#Evan Buckley
extasiswings · 2 days ago
...oops?  Have some more 5x7 spec.
Buck’s hands are shaking.
His throat is raw from screaming and his mind is— 
He can’t stop replaying it, over and over.  The radio bursting with static.  Turning around to pick it up.  Buck, Warden Trent, he’s—
His ears filled with white noise as he turned back around to see Eddie with a gun to his temple.  He hadn’t even noticed when the radio slipped from his fingers.  But he saw Eddie’s lips move.
He didn’t hear his answer so much as he felt it, Eddie’s name ripped from his throat.
No, no, no, no please, no please, not again, not again, not again, please—
He couldn’t do anything.
He couldn’t stop it.  He couldn’t stop Eddie being dragged away.  He couldn’t will their places swapped.  He couldn’t— 
There was a gun.  And Eddie wasn’t bleeding, but all Buck can see is red.  He can taste it in his mouth, he can feel it on his skin.  If Eddie gets shot again— 
His hands won’t stop shaking.
“What’s happening?” He asks the SWAT agent who has been assigned to babysit him.  He wants to climb out of his skin, claw at the walls, break down the door.  He feels trapped, a caged animal pacing the length of the room, desperate to get out, to go, to do anything that would bring Eddie back to him.
“I don’t have any updates,” the woman explains for the umpteenth time.  
“Look, just—”  Buck wants to scream.  “Let me out.  Let me talk to your captain, I can help, I was—we were with the warden most of the day before this happened, I can tell him—”
“Firefighter Buckley, we’ve got everything we need,” she interrupts.  “Just sit tight.  We’ll update you when we have something to report.”
“You don’t understand,” he snaps.  Blood in his mouth and shaking hands and a gun and Christopher—Christopher is at home and he can’t—he’s can’t— “This is Eddie we’re talking about.  That’s my partner—you can’t ask me to just—” 
Buck whirls around and freezes.  Taylor’s in the doorway, a strange look on her face.  He blinks once, twice— 
What—?  What is—?
“They didn’t tell me it was you,” she sighs, raking a hand through her hair.  And it’s then that his eyes drop to her neck, that he notices the lanyard with her press credentials attached.
“No,” he says before she can say anything else.  He is far beyond frayed, unraveling rapidly, and he can’t—this is not something he is capable of dealing with right now.   
“I was assigned—”
“No,” he repeats, ice cracking, cracking, cracking, he can’t breathe, he can’t think, because his heart, his life, his soul is being held hostage in the building across the street and he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to survive if— 
“You were the only witness,” she says apologetically.  “Look, I won’t—you could just tell me what happened, it doesn’t even have to be on camera—I’ll keep your name out of it—”
“It’s Eddie, Taylor!”  It’s no longer just his hands, Buck feels like his whole body is shaking.  “It’s Eddie—again.  And all I could do was stand there and watch—again.  And again I might have to go home tonight and tell Christopher that I couldn’t protect his dad, but hey, Eddie picked me to replace him so if he wants a poor fucking substitute, at least he’ll have me!” 
“Buck…”  Taylor takes a few steps and reaches out to gently cup his face.  Buck flinches away.
Her hands aren’t the ones he wants right now.
“Don’t,” he chokes out.  “Please don’t, just—just go.  Just go do your job, away from me.  It’s where you want to be anyway.”
He knows it’s not fair even as he says it.  Taylor sucks in a breath like she’s been slapped, but quickly rearranges her features, her face smoothing over, back straightening.
“Fine,” she says quietly.  “I’ll go.”
Buck collapses into a chair the second the door clicks shut behind her.  
His hands are still shaking.
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buttercupbuck · 2 days ago
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3.03 The Searchers || 5.05 Peer Pressure
[image description: 2 gifs of Evan Buckley from 9-1-1.]
gif 1: from season 3, episode 3. After being told by Eddie that there's no one he trusts more in the world with Christopher than him, Buck blinks, contemplative, and starts to smile.
gif 2: from season 5, episode 5. Buck breaks into a smile and starts to cover a hand with his mouth after he's reassured that no one wants him to leave.
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zainclaw · a day ago
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*whispers* what does it mean
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spookymadsbuckley · 2 days ago
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evan "i-can-totally-eat-that-in-one-bite" buckley
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loveyourownsmiilee · 2 days ago
Buck’s Love Language and the difference between Taylor and Eddie understanding it:
As we all know, Buck’s main love language can be seen as Words of Affirmation. This is how he tends to understand love, since he lacked it so much growing up. His parents were never very verbal with their love, but Maddie was. So in order for Buck to understand whether or not he means something to someone, he needs them to verbally tell him that. We have seen many instances where he doubts himself and gets all up in his head. Yes he has taken to physical intimacy to fill that void he has, but he uses physical touch as a placeholder, since he never had the words to go by. Why am I mentioning this? Because let’s take a look at his relationship with Taylor and with Eddie separately. 
His relationship with Taylor is based on the foundation of sexual attraction and intimacy. They started off having sex and never really learned how to be friends. They then jumped into a relationship thinking its what they both want. As we have seen, Taylor isn't the greatest with her words. She has called Buck “needy”, “a bad friend” and given him bad advice, such as “Maybe you might want to consider not everything is about you.” Obviously, to Buck, he’s going to internalize that and focus on her words because he takes to words more than other things, such as actions or touch. Given what she told him, you can see in Buck’s facial expression that it wasn't the greatest advice and he didn't like what she said to him. But it resonated with him and gave him mixed feelings on whether or not the problem with Chimney was about him. He already has issues about not fitting in and being left behind, issues about being insecure, so for her to say that to him? I’m sure it led him to believe that he’s really not important enough so he should take himself out of the situation (transfer from the 118) so that everyone else would be happier. 
Then, when he came home and she had laid out that breakfast for him, we all sensed the weird vibe going on. She tried to do something “nice” for him and when he admitted to her that he clearly didn't take her advice, but the advice of his team members, you clearly can see her entire demeanor change. She is somewhat upset and at somewhat of a loss for words. So what does she do? She reaches out for him to give him physical contact, a hug that is very weird and awkward. She knows that touching him has worked for her in the past, so since her words were unable to reassure him, maybe her touch will. But as we all saw, yes Buck is very tactile, but even he wasn’t satisfied with their little awkward hug. Because he needs more than touch, he needs words, someone who will understand him and speak his love language back to him. Clearly, that person is not Taylor and I don’t think it ever will be Taylor.
Now when we take a look at Buck’s entire relationship with Eddie, we see a significant difference in how they work. Eddie has always been this closed off, private guy. He’s quiet and sassy, and is overall great with words. But given his upbringing and the environment in which he grew up in, maybe he wasn't able to freely express his words as much as he does with Buck now. But, there’s just the simple way of how much Eddie knows Buck, like really knows him. He know’s how well Buck takes to words of affirmation, and because he knows this, he uses words to speak in a language in which Buck will understand. What do I mean by this? Well Eddie has been known to show his love with Acts of Service. He has left Christopher in Buck’s care when Buck was depressed. He invited Buck over to hang out with him and his son for each Christmas they’ve known each other. He has wholly embraced Buck into his family, in hopes of showing how important Buck is to him. But even then, considering all these acts Eddie does for Buck, he still does not grasp how important he is, or how loved he is until Eddie explicitly tells him. It wasn't enough that Eddie trusted his son in Buck’s care, but when Eddie told Buck, “There’s nobody in this world I trust more with my son, than you”, you can see the automatic effect it has on Buck. We see him registering Eddie’s words, the meaning and importance behind those words. Then we get the iconic moment where Buck tells Eddie it would have been better for all of them if Buck was the one who got shot. He is insecure about himself and you can see how low his self esteem is in that moment. What does Eddie do? He tells Buck about his will. He made that action a year ago, once again using his own love language to show Buck how important and loved he is. But it wasn't until Eddie told him explicitly, “Because, Evan...You act like you’re expendable. But you’re wrong”, that Buck understood how important and loved he really is by Eddie. It wasn’t enough for Eddie to just give Buck his entire heart, no he had to tell Buck that’s what he was doing so it registered with Buck the importance of it. There have been many more instances where Eddie has been supportive and reassuring to Buck with his words, but that means I would go on forever. Eddie truly knows who Buck is as a person to the extent where he not only understands Buck’s love language, but he keeps making an effort to speak it back to him where he can understand it. Even in 5.05, Eddie chooses words to let Buck know that he’s “Stuck with us” because he knows how insecure Buck was about the entire Chimney situation. It wasn't until Eddie and the team reassured Buck with their words, that we saw him finally relax and truly smile for the first time. They were able to do what Taylor wasn’t able to. 
With all things considered, we have seen time and time again how easily Eddie and Buck love each other because they both speak one another’s love languages. In order for any successful relationship to thrive, I think it’s super important that your partner really understands your love language and speaks in back to you. We have seen Taylor struggle with this and I think she will continue struggling with this because her and Buck truly do not know each other well enough. Whereas Buck and Eddie are solid in that department and I think we will continue seeing Eddie supporting Buck through his words, which will then lead into him confessing his love for Buck, so that Buck truly does know that Eddie is serious. He is in love with him and the only way to make it truly known to Buck will be to explicitly confess his feelings.
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bieddiediaz · a day ago
four kisses
partially inspired by this fic by @capseycartwright. special thanks to my love @zeethebooknerd ❤
buck/eddie, 1108 words, fluff.
the first time they kiss is when chris and eddie have had a fight, and eddie’s in the kitchen upset and spiralling and doubting himself, and buck reassures him and comforts him and promises that he's not going anywhere. it’s small, it’s quick, barely noticeable among buck's words and the way he has their foreheads pressed together, but it warms eddie to his core.
they don't talk about it.
maybe it's for the best — maybe they're not ready, but it's okay because christopher comes out and he and eddie apologise to each other and eddie still has his family. he still has his son in his arms, and he still has buck, with fond glances and soft touches and seamless partnership and his friendship.
(if his gaze lingers sometimes, if every time he touches buck he wants to grab on and never let go, well. he’ll tell buck one day. 
he's just not ready yet.)
the second time they kiss is also in eddie’s house. 
(he’s starting to think this house, his home, will always contain traces of buck. he wouldn’t want it any other way.) 
they’re off shift, and his son is asleep down the hall, and he and buck are lounging on the couch, half-ignoring whatever movie’s playing on the screen in favour of just existing with each other, and eddie thinks this is the most relaxed he’s ever been. it’s been a perfect evening, extremely domestic in its simplicity, and maybe it should scare him — the level of comfort and dependency he has with his best friend — but instead it just makes him feel secure.
a loud sound from the tv startles him out of his musings, and he rolls his head against the back of the couch to turn to buck to find him looking right back at eddie, mirroring his position on the couch as his eyes twinkle.
eddie’s mesmerised.
they both lean in at the same time. it’s a little longer this time round, and eddie has time to wonder at the softness of buck’s lips and the warmth of his skin before they break apart to beam at each other.
they still don’t talk about it. 
(and it’s not like eddie’s unsure of his feelings for buck, but he’s definitely not sure of himself, and he knows buck has his own hang ups too, so. they don’t talk about it, and they keep being companions and partners on and off the field and whatever this something-more-than-friends zone is that they’ve found themselves in.)
the third time almost doesn’t count, except eddie can’t stop thinking about it. 
it’s been a rough call, and as they all return to the station and get cleaned up, and bobby heads to his office to call athena and hen and chim head upstairs to watch one of their dumb reality shows, eddie waits in the locker room for buck to come out of the showers. 
he’s so wrapped up in his own thoughts, though, that he doesn’t even notice buck’s footsteps until his shadow falls across his lap and eddie looks up from the ground to see him in shorts and an (is that eddie’s?) lafd hoodie and damp hair. buck wordlessly holds out a hand and eddie lets himself be pulled up, but instead of keeping him still, buck uses the momentum to wrap his arms around his waist and pull him into a hug. eddie folds himself around him in return, feels his partner relax into him and bury his head in the crook of eddie’s neck like he always does. 
eddie’s very aware of the way his own hands are gripping buck’s hoodie tight, and the way buck’s breath feels on his skin, and that after minutes pass and buck shows no signs of letting go, they’re in a room with glass walls and have been hugging longer than friends ever do, but he can’t make himself let go, either — especially when he feels buck’s lips press into his neck in the ghost of a kiss and stay there.
that small bit of comfort stays with him, even as they break apart and move upstairs, as they work their way through a simple meal, as bobby puts them back on rotation and they go out for more calls, as the sun rises and they all head home to sleep off their shift.
but they don’t talk about it.
eddie’s not an idiot - he knows they can’t go on like this forever, but he’s content with this slow pace, in this limbo with buck. 
(maybe he’s a little terrified of himself, though — every relationship he’s ever been in, he’s been selfish and inconsiderate and pushed and pushed until his partner broke. he’s already lost his child’s mother, in more ways than one, and he thinks — no, he knows —  he wouldn’t recover from losing buck.)
the fourth time is different. 
the fourth time isn’t by happenstance, the fourth time eddie makes happen, because. because - he can’t stop thinking about the way buck hugged him, the way he comforted eddie and let eddie comfort him, the way he and buck have always been so in sync with each other, how after a bad day all eddie wants is to see christopher and buck, and he’s lying in bed in the middle of the night, about to drift off, when his own words from that same locker room come back to him, unbidden - tomorrow isn’t promised to anyone. so if you love her, tell her.
suddenly eddie’s wide awake.
he doesn’t get any sleep that night. he gets up before his alarm, wakes up christopher and feeds him breakfast, gets him ready, drives him to school, and when christopher has disappeared into the building with a kiss on the cheek and a love you, dad!, eddie’s driving to buck’s loft on autopilot before he knows it.
he doesn’t know what he’s doing, can’t form a coherent thought beyond tell him. he’s not even sure what he wants to tell buck, he’s not sure he’s not going to fuck everything up, he’s not sure why he’s banging on buck’s door at eight in the morning, but when buck sleepily opens the door and mumbles ‘eds, what-’ all eddie can do is take buck’s face in his hands and press their lips together right there in the doorway until buck relaxes in his hold and kisses him back.
the need for air forces them to break apart eventually, and buck’s smile could power a thousand suns. eddie can only grin back helplessly and think that maybe ready is overrated.
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kuckie · a day ago
Bobby after Buck and Eddie start dating (because HE KNOWS Buck)
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buttercupbuck · 2 days ago
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3.03 The Searchers || 5.05 Peer Pressure
[image description: 10 gifs from 9-1-1. There are 2 gifs in each row, with 5 rows in total. The gifs in the left column depict a scene from season 3 episode 3 and the gifs in the right column depict a scene from season 5 episode 5.]
gif 1: from season 3, episode 3. Buck walks closer to Eddie and asks, “You want me to watch Christopher?”
gif 2: from season 5, episode 5. Fidgeting slightly, Buck tells everyone, “This place, and uh, you guys mean so much to me. Which is why, for the good of everyone, I’ve decided to put in for a transfer.”
gif 3: from season 3, episode 3. Eddie jokes, “It’s easy. He’s not very fast.”
gif 4: from season 5, episode 5. Looking confused, Bobby and Eddie both ask, “What?”
gif 5: from season 3, episode 3. Buck asks, “After everything that happened?” 
gif 6: from season 5, episode 5. Buck says, “Everything feels broken now, and it’s my fault. I’m the reason he’s gone.”
gif 7: from season 3, episode 3. Eddie says, “A natural disaster happened, Buck.” Buck argues, “I lost him, Eddie.”
gif 8: from season 5, episode 5. Bobby says, “He came to see me, said he wanted to find her. I told him he should.” Eddies says, “I told him it was the right thing to do.” Hen says, “And I offered to go with him.”
gif 9: from season 3, episode 3. Eddie insists, “No, you saved him. That’s how he remembers it. Now, it’s his turn to do the same for you.”
gif 10: from season 5, episode 5. Offscreen, Hen reassures, “He’s coming back, Buck. With Maddie.” Bobby adds, “And when he does, you’re gonna be right here, where you belong.” Eddie grins and tells Buck, “You’re stuck with us.”
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