#Evan buckley x Eddie Diaz
even in his "everyone is getting replaced" headspace Buck was unable to compute someone replacing Eddie
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WISHING THE VERY HAPPIEST OF BIRTHDAYS TO MY DEAR LITTLE SIBLING @cowboydiaz! I hope you have the best day ever, Oli!!!!
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Albert: You know, Ravi and I got off on the wrong foot but I think we’re gonna be good friends.
Buck: You be careful with that.
Albert: What? Why?
Buck: Because first, you’re petty and jealous, and What’s your problem, man? and now you’re annoyed and angry. Then You can have my back any day which turns you into a blushing stuttering mess because how can it not when he’s so unbearably hot? Then you find out he has the most adorable kid in the world and you’re swooning. Then one day, when you’re at your lowest and think he’ll never forgive me for this, you get shocked with There’s nobody in this world I trust with my son more than you and that’s when you know you’re screwed. And when things just started to get back to normal, he’s 40 feet under and you’re trying to dig him out with your bare hands. Then your shitty parents in town and once again managed to fuck with your life, and you’re not in the right state of mind to be dating. But then he asks his son’s former teacher out and you’re heartbroken because you thought you and him had something special, and he will wait for you but clearly not. Then his son shows up at your doorstep because he’s upset and you’re his safe space. Then you find a new friend and suddenly he is jealous, and you think maybe it’s not one-sided after all, and you want to talk about it. Then out of nowhere he gets shot and your whole world crumbles, and he whispers pained Are you hurt? when he’s the one bleeding out through your trembling hands. And now you’re breaking down in front of his son because this is too much and it should’ve been you who got shot. Just when things settled down, he’s all soft and Because Evan and that’s when you find out that he made you his baby daddy a freaking year ago and was sitting on this information for unknown reasons.
Chimney: Wow, that... was oddly specific.
Buck: And when you’re lulled into a false sense of security, he dumps his girlfriend and the next thing you know you’re banging each other on his awful couch.
Eddie: In my defense I was left unsupervised.
Chimney: Buck was your superv-... Ok, I see.
Buck: I regret nothing.
Eddie: And my couch is not awful.
Buck: You did not sleep on it, Eddie. That thing is horrible!
Eddie: Well, it was plenty comfortable last night.
Buck: ...you smooth fucker.
Albert: Does Ravi have any kids I should know about?
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Anne Sexton, from A Self-portrait in Letters
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Eddie was the first person to grab hold of Buck's rope and was waiting for him right by the door when he got home.
Eddie was so fucking soft this episode. He was so gentle with Buck and he listened to him and reassured him and he didn't take his eyes off the building for a fucking second when Buck was in there.
Eddie Diaz is the love that Evan Buckley deserves.
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there are way fewer hugs between these guys than needed
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Chimney’s Guide To Dating a Buckley
Here’s a thought that I’m not sure has been done yet. (I am working on requests, but it’s been a slow going process so I thought I’d give you a head cannon of what came into my brain today) -Red
-Imagine, Chim just hands Eddie a poorly bound book. In bold
-Chimney’s Guide To Dating a Buckley by Howard Han
-Chim doesn’t even acknowledge Eddie as he leaves him alone with the book. Eddie is, at first, very confused. Why would he need any guide to dating a Buckley? He wasn’t dating one (it doesn’t matter that he actually really wants to, now that he thinks about it more). Anyway, he doesn’t take it seriously, but he puts the guide in his locker anyway.
-After a couple of weeks, it’s almost forgotten about, his stuff having piled over it. Eddie never brings it up to Chim, and neither does Chim.
-After a few months, Eddie doesn’t remember it’s even in his locker.
-He finds it when cleaning out his locker, taking dirty clothes home to be washed. Buck is beside him, cleaning out his own locker, “oh, what’s that?” Eddie jumps, “what? This thing? Nothing, nothing at all...a stupid present Chim gave me a while back.”
-Of course, Buck wants to see
-Eddie doesn’t let that happen and throws it in his duffle to take home and quickly leaves the station.
-The thing is, Buck doesn’t let it go.
-And now it’s a constant reminder in his head and he just can’t stop himself, he looks at the guide
-Chapter 1: They’re pretty cute, right? That’s the reason you’re doing this.
-honestly, the start is sarcastic, but oddly serious and it’s like Chim can see into his mind as he pictures Buck, which is a little disturbing.
-Chapter 2: But they’re chaotic. Don’t even think about letting them both out of your sight together, they’ll get into more trouble than either of us can handle.
-And he’s right...apart, the Buckley siblings are chaotic, together...he could only shiver at the thought. They mean well, but sometimes they can get a little obsessed and go overboard.
-Chapter 3: Even so, they love unconditionally...mainly because of how they were raised.
-Isn’t that the truth? Daniel died and their parents distanced themselves, so they had to love each other unconditionally...isn’t that the reason Buck threw himself into work and helping Eddie and Christopher? Buck cared and loved so openly...it was amazing to watch.
-Chapter 4: Because of that, they’re easily hurt. They’re insecure and unable to realize when they need to ask for help.
-It was like the wind was knocked out of Eddie’s lungs...because Chim was right. Buck never knew when to ask for help, he tried to suffer through it himself...hell, he’d been willing to cause himself emotional or physical pain in order to make sure everyone else he cared about was alright...he was willing to roll with attitudes and demeaning talk if it meant he was being somewhat seen.
-Chapter 5: But we help them even if they don’t ask for it...because it’s our job to make sure our Buckley is treated the way they deserve to be...like royalty.
-Eddie couldn’t agree more. Buck deserves the world and Eddie would try like hell to give it to him, if he asked for it.
-Chapter 6: So stop being a coward, they need to know your interested or they won’t make the first move.
-Chapter 7: Other general things you need to know, starting with the sacred pinky promise.
-Chapter 8: Relationships aren’t perfect, but you better learn to compromise or else you’ll have an angry Buckley sibling on your doorstep in minutes flat.
-Chapter 9: But they’re all bark, no bite...well, most of the time.
-Chapter 10: Dating a Buckley sibling isn’t easy, as with any kind of relationship, but the easiest part is loving and supporting them.
-And how stupid is it that reading 10 chapters of a guide to dating a Buckley by his coworker is how Eddie finally got his shit together and asked Buck out for a date? But, Eddie’s happy and so is Buck, so Chim might have had a point.
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Eddie spotted Buck leaning against the counter in the kitchen and made a beeline to him, stepping right into his space to bury his face into his neck. Buck huffed out a laugh and wrapped his arms around him.
“Hey sleepyhead,” he murmured affectionately.
Eddie grunted a hello back and leaned heavily against Buck’s chest, rubbing his face tiredly against the fabric of his shirt.
“So this is new.”
Hen’s amused voice made Eddie freeze, suddenly very aware of being in the firehouse kitchen and not, as his half-asleep brain had told him, in his own kitchen at home.
Buck clearly read his reaction, rubbing a reassuring hand down his tense back. “Did you forget we were at work?” he asked with fond amusement.
Eddie nodded into his neck, face heating with mortification. Buck chuckled and let him hide.
“Is there something you’d like to tell us?” Hen asked mischeiviously.
Buck continued stroking his back and, embarrassed as he was, Eddie was far too comfortable to move.
“Who’s telling who what- woah, that’s new, right?” Chim’s voice joined the conversation, increasing Eddie’s embarrassment tenfold.
“Not so new,” Buck admitted. “Eddie’s a secret snuggler.”
“I’d say the secret’s out, Buckaroo,” Chim replied, clearly enjoying himself.
Beneath his ear Eddie heard Buck hum in agreement. He let the teasing banter of his family wash over him and settled instead into the familiar shape of Buck, content to stay hidden for a while longer.
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this was based on a conversation i had w @diazalex a while ago, and while im not really a buddie shipper im pretty proud of it cuz i banged it out in like 10 minutes so im posting it
Eddie's fingers flex around the edge of the counter, gripping and releasing in a single breath. He's resting against it, elbows bent to steady himself, and to anyone else he looks relaxed.
Buck isn’t anyone else.
He waits Eddie out, lets the weight of their conversation, of their confession hang in the air. There's more that Eddie wants to say, Buck knows there's more that Eddie wants to say - but if he pushes now, Eddie will just bottle it up and shove it down.
So instead, he focuses on drying his dishes, content in the silence.
"Can I just -" Eddie cuts himself off, and when Buck places down the dishrag and turns to face him, Eddie is no longer resting on the counter. He's closer, no more than a hairsbreadth away, and even after all this time - it still makes Buck's breath catch in his throat.
"Just once," Eddie says, with no explanation, but Buck doesn't need one, not about this. His tongue sticks out involuntarily, and he watches as Eddie follows his tongue with his eyes.
"I know you're with Taylor, and I'm happy with Ana," Eddie's voice is hoarse, like the words are straining to get out, "But just once."
Buck doesn't trust himself to speak, so he just nods.
It doesn't take more than a step for Eddie to cover the distance between them, and absurdly - it occurs to Buck just how much taller he is than Eddie. Peripherally, he's always known he's the tallest member of the 118, but now that Eddie's here - close enough that Buck can count each individual lash - he's realizing that he'll actually have to duck his head.
"Just once," Bucky whispers back, and he bends down just as Eddie tilts up, fixing a hand onto the back of Buck's head and slotting into his chest as Buck's fingers find the grooves of his hips.
It's chaste at first, tentative and cautious, but then Eddie swipes his tongue on Buck's bottom lip and that's all she wrote. Buck walks him backwards until he hits the counter-top with a dull thud, his grip on Eddie's hip tightening enough to bruise as Eddie fists his fingers into Buck's hair and pulls.
It's everything that Buck thought it would be and nothing like that at all. His hands move up Eddie's sides to cup his cheeks, and he presses down until there's scarcely enough space between them.
In response, Eddie juts his hips up and tilts his head to the side, pulling back ever so slightly to sink his teeth into Buck's bottom lip before slotting their mouths together again.
They pull apart with a wet pop, and Buck rests his forehead on Eddie's, eyes closed. He doesn't need to open them to see the flush on Eddie's cheeks, or the redness of his lips.
"Just once," Eddie whispers again, "I just needed to know what it would feel like."
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I’m dying for an Evan x Diaz! Reader or an Eddie x Buckley! Reader🥺 Pretty please with a cherry on top!
DUBBLE DATE E.B
Author’s note: Thank you for requesting this cute idea anon, I hope you like it !! <3
Warnings: a lot of fluff with Buck x Diaz!reader
"Do we have to go?" You sighed, sinking down further in the brown couch with a small pout on your face. Buck smirked, finding it adorable to way you were acting as he fixed his shirt and took a last glance in the tall mirror next to him.
"Yes, we do. It's your brother remember." Buck said as he turned back to you. Your hair was a mess from the amount of tossing you did in the couch while your boyfriend got ready but it only made him love you more. "C'mon were late." He announced, grabbing your hand and pulling you from the couch.
The famous Eddie Diaz tought it was a wonderful idea to organise a dubble date with Anna, Buck and you on his night off. Only to forget that you had a full 24 hours shift the day before, leaving you now in desperate need of some sleep.
"Do I look okay?" You asked with innocent eyes, stepping closer to the Buckley as he tried his best to fix your hair. "You look perfect." He stated proudly as he pecked your lips. "Now lets go!"
You quickly made your way inside Eddie's house and silently thanked him that the evening was planned to be taken place there as you where tired to go somewhere fancy. He was still your brother and you knew Anna very well from before so you wouldn't have to be all fancy and chiq like you would in a restaurant or with other people in general, you trust them, so you can let your guard down for tonight.
"So?" Eddie asked with a curious tone, bringing the beer bottle closer to his lips. "How's everything?" He smiled at Anna and nodded slightly as she excused herself to grab some more drinks.
"Tired. Everything is very tired." You sighed, making buck playfully roll his eyes at your dramatic statement as he gave the Diaz in front of you a knowing look. "I'm kidding." You giggled, loving how your brother and boyfriend were such good friends. "Everything is great, by tomorrow im officially moved out from my old apartment."
You wanted to move in with Evan for a long time now, especially after Maddie made it clear that you already practically lived with him. Buck was the first one to point it out and ask you. Even though it took a while before you actually made the step because of the amount of work you both were caught up in, you are more then happy that you did it.
"I do hope you get used to the snoring", Eddie smirked playfully, "Every time we went camping y/n was not the person to share a tent with."
"Hey! I do not snore!" You laughed, pretending to be hurt.
"Sure." Eddie giggled as Buck let out a laugh. "Do tell yourself that."
My request are open :)
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The reason Buck doesn't believe Maddie or Bobby or Athena/Hen/Chim/whoever about being expendable is that from them it's all just words.
The Red episodes made it explicitly clear that as much as everyone loves Buck they go home to their families and he goes home alone, and for Buck that trumps any pretty words from them about how much they care.
Maddie promises she'll never leave him, but she's already done it twice. And Buck has forgiven her, and of course Doug wasn't her fault, but she doesn't exactly have a flawless track record and with Chimney and Jee-Yun now Buck doesn't really buy that he's a priority for her (nor does he expect to be - obviously Jee comes first now and Buck doesn't have any issue with that, but it's a matter of principle).
And sure, the team comes in to get him at the sanitizer factory in Buck Begins, but that's their job, and them having his back in the field isn't really the same as them having his back emotionally - hence his conversation with Taylor when she says his life is full of meaningful relationships and he says it's not the same.
Eddie, though. Eddie has spent whole seasons combatting Buck's insecurities and inviting him into his family, and he makes it explicitly clear to Buck through his words (there's no one I trust more) and his actions (bringing Chris over after the tsunami, the guardianship) that not only is Buck a priority, he's irreplaceable as part of their family.
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I pointed it out in an earlier post, but I have more to say. I couple months ago I made a post about how little Eddie values himself as anything other than his role in relation to others. He thinks that for all intents and purposes, he is completely replaceable (as Christopher's father, Buck's partner, etc.). This episode showed how viscerally untrue that is for Buck. He couldn't even think of someone to replace Eddie, and though he had thought of a place for Eddie to go, he couldn't find a place to fill where Eddie would've left.
Buck cannot fathom replacing Eddie because he's irreplaceable
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Can we talk about the fact that Buck got a black eye and immediately called his husband best friend to come over and *checks notes* put ice into a ziplock for him
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Buck throws his drink at someone because they talk shit about Eddie
Buck: That’s for bad-mouthing my best friend. And now you owe me one Strawberry Daiquiri, bitch.
Eddie in the background
Eddie: That’s it! I'm gonna marry him.
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God no but like, there’s an emergency at a job they’re on and Buck is the only one who can help, the one who’s gotta go in alone, and just as he’s gearing up and getting ready Eddie comes up to him and out of his pocket pulls out his St. Christopher’s medal, slides it over Buck’s head and tucks it into his turnout.
“Now you can’t die,” he says, locking Buck’s gaze. “Because you have to bring that back to me.”
And Buck does. He comes out tired and maybe a little worse for wear, but he’s grinning at Eddie and reaching for the necklace to give it back, and Eddie stops him.
“You can give it back to me next time.”
He says the same thing every time Buck comes back to him, because if he never takes the necklace back, that means Buck always has to come back to him.
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Buddie prompt: they go to Christopher’s parent-teacher conference together. The teacher goes “ah, this is the Buck he speaks so highly of.” Buck blushes, Eddie thinks it’s cute, and the teacher tells them Christopher is doing great and to keep doing what they’re doing.
Eddie’s not sure why he asked Buck to come with him. The thought hadn’t even crossed his mind until Buck had wished him luck and then the question had just popped out.
Who invites their best friend to their son’s parent-teacher conference? It was a weird thing for Eddie to do judging by the expressions on Hen and Chimney’s faces but before he could take it back Buck had grinned, his whole face lighting up at the idea, and said yes.
So now they’re sitting side-by-side, in chairs designed for legs much shorter than theirs. Buck looks ridiculous, sitting with his knees bent so high but Eddie can’t stop staring, because Buck had said yes. He’d said yes to spending his evening listening to strangers talk about someone else’s kid. Why? He could have been doing anything else with his time, but he’s here, knocking his knee into Eddie’s and chatting away while they wait for Chris’s science teacher. Buck’s completely oblivious to the stares of the other parents as he laughs about the disaster that was Chris’s last science project. They’d been experimenting with mentos and soda and they’d both needed hosing off before Eddie would let them back into the house.
Watching Buck talk about Chris with an expression of such fond amusement stirs something inside Eddie. It’s a fizz, hot and heady deep inside his belly, and he has to resist the urge to reach out to Buck because all he wants in that moment is to kiss him stupid.
“Eds.” Buck’s leg is pressed up against Eddie’s and his hand is on his shoulder pulling him out of his head. “We’re up.”
Sure enough, Chris’s science teacher is beckoning them over. They follow her into the classroom, taking a seat in front of the desk.
“Mr Diaz, it’s good to see you again,” she starts, and Eddie for the life of him can’t think of her name. “And you must be—?” She trails off waiting for the introduction.
“Sorry, this is Buck— Evan Buckley,” Eddie supplies, wondering how the hell he’s supposed to explain why he brought Buck along.
Turns out he doesn’t need to.
“Ah, so you’re the Buck I’ve heard so much about,” she says, reaching out to shake Buck’s hand. “Chris speaks very highly of you.”
There’s a flush creeping up Buck’s neck and blooming in his cheeks. “Oh, uh—” he stumbles over the words. “He does?”
God, it’s so endearing the way he blushes and fumbles through the short conversation and Eddie can’t tear his eyes away as Buck goes on about what a great kid Chris is. How did he manage to find someone like Buck, someone who loves his son with his whole being?
Eddie is so in love with him it hurts.
“He really is a great kid,” Chris’s teacher agrees, and Eddie nods along but he’s still watching Buck out of the corner of his eye. “You’re doing a great job with him, he’s smart and inquisitive and the way he talks about you I can tell you’re encouraging his love of science at home. I really have nothing to say except keep doing what you’re doing.”
She’s looking at Eddie, waiting for a response but he doesn’t notice until Buck gives him a nudge, his eyes dancing with amusement.
“Yes, thank you. I—” Eddie turns his attention back to Chris’s teacher. “We will. Thank you.” He wants to hide his face in his hands and he all but drags Buck from the classroom, desperate to end his humiliation. “Great, now I can never speak to her again.”
Buck’s lips are pinched together like he’s trying not to laugh. “Yeah, you seemed a little distracted.” The blush is back, and he’s watching Eddie so intently. “Do you, uh, want to get out of here?” he asks suddenly. “That was the last one, right?”
“It was,” Eddie says, nodding slowly. “We could get go get dinner, grab a beer?”
Buck hesitates. “Is that—are you asking— like a date?”
“Yes.” Eddie’s heart pounds loudly in his chest. “Like a date.” He waits, palms sweating for the eternity it takes Buck to respond.
“I’d like that.”
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As bitter as most of that arc was (without digging into the topic any further), I find there is so much underlying beauty to that grocery store scene.
Buck has been craving to be the kind of person impossible to leave behind, someone who is missed and trusted and needed (someone who's not expendable). And then Eddie lashes out how the lawsuit prevented him from being with him and Christopher.
Ultimately, it shows that already then, Buck was such an integral part of Eddie's life that he gets so worked up about Buck not being there. Eddie trusted him to be there, he needed and missed him. Buck was not expendable to him by any means - long before Eddie said it out loud to Buck at the hospital.
I think it's also great to see Eddie just *breaking out* with it. He's normally very composed. While he relies on Tía Pepa and Isabel (and learns to trust the 118) with Christopher, he still seems to have a tendency to wanting to figure things out on his own (especially his feelings, courtesy of his dad to some degree, I guess).
Like, he is announcing *in public* how much he actually needs Buck in his life, not just for Christopher's sake but also his own. He needs his best friend because no, Buck is not expendable by any means for Eddie, he grew to be a necessity in his life. And not having that at one of his low points in life seems to hit so much harder that he can't help but scream it out to the world (universe be screaming, huh?) coming in the shape of a grocery store.
In the light of the legal guardianship reveal, it hits me all the harder just how close they were already back then, being the answer to each other's needs and wishes: Being impossible to replace in someone else's life, having someone to always have your back as a partner.
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Summery: you’d always been confused about your feeling for both Eddie and Buck, but then Eddie had started dating Ana and Buck started flirting with you so you thought ‘that’s destiny choosing for me’. But you should have known destiny was a bitch
Pairing: Reader x Evan Buck Buckley x Eddie Diaz
Getting your job at the 118 had been a dream coming true; your last firehouse had been a nightmare: you had been the only woman firefighter, the first they had ever had and, let’s be honest, they hadn’t been nice. The teasing had been never ending, the constant flirting, even thought you hadn’t been interested and you had made that clear, was annoying.
So when you heard about an opening at the 118 you had seized the opportunity. You had soon felt like you were home: your colleagues were nice, they respected you and even though the rookie had flirted with you the first time you had met, he had stopped as soon as you had told him you weren’t interested and now you were actually friend. So you were finally doing the job you loved in a stimulating working environment.
Trouble started when you met Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley. You had only heard about the first shift team and you had heard talks about Eddie Diaz and Evan Buckley in particular: Jessica, your colleague, had described them as two hot badasses who were also really nice. You had rolled your eyes at her.
The day you had met them you had just decided to go to work early so you could do some work out.
You had just entered the gym when you saw them training and your first thought was that “fuck Jessica was right”. You had tried to pretend you didn’t see them and focus on your work out but they had also see you walk in and, being the nice person that they were, they had smiled at you and introduced themselves.
That day you had spent most of your time in the gym talking to them instead of working out and when their shift ended and they left, after you had promised to go out for a drink with their team, you had stood there looking at the door gym until Jessica had walked in. You hadn’t told her about your meeting with the two super hot firefighters of the first shift that day, because you knew she would have smirked and said “I told you so”.
That day you had gone home after your shift and you hadn’t been able to stop thinking about them and the troublesome thing was that, you were sure you had a crush on one of the two firefighters, but you weren’t sure which one. You didn’t think much of it that day though: you had talked with them barely an hour, you didn’t really know them. That night you had gone to sleep and you had dreamed about blue and brown eyes.
You had started spending your free time with Eddie and Buck since that day; you had taken the time to know them as friends but the time spent together hadn’t dispelled the doubts about who you actually liked between the two. It wouldn’t have been a problem if you were sure neither of them liked you but some time you could feel their eyes on you when you were out together and you weren’t looking, they were always touching you somewhere, your leg, your back, your arm, your cheek: if you were together they were never far from you. And most of all they flirted with you in particular when the other one wasn’t there.
So yeah you were confused because you had feeling, strong feelings, for both of them: you thought about Eddie’s smile as much as Buck’s laugh; you dreamed about Buck’s blue eyes and soft caressed as much as Eddie’s brown eyes and strong arms. So yeah you were screwed and the worst thing was that, during all this time they had become your best friends so you couldn’t tell them the truth because the mere idea of ruing your friendship scared you.
So you didn’t tell anything, hoping that your feelings for one of them would disappear with time or that fate would tell you which one of them was your destiny. You should have known you couldn’t trust fate, because FATE WAS A BITCH!
It had happened suddenly: one day you were sure that if you kissed Eddie he would have gladly kissed you back, and the next day he was dating Ana Flores, Christopher’s ex teacher.
You were crashed when you found out because even if you had been waiting for a sign to help you choose you still loved him and seeing him with Ana wasn’t easy.
But fate had made the choice for you and you were gonna act accordingly because it was true that you loved Eddie but you loved Buck too.
You started spending more time with Buck and less with Eddie, it wasn’t really your doing to be honest: Eddie had his dates with Ana and needed to spend time with Christopher so you saw him less and less and when you did Buck was there most of the time. Eddie didn’t talk about Ana with you and you didn’t ask, so it was Buck who told you Eddie had told Chris about his girlfriend and they were spending more time together just the three of them together. You thought you heard sadness in Buck’s voice while he told you about Eddie and Ana but you were too distracted by your own broken heart to really pay attention.
If your relationship with Eddie was drifting, your relationship with Buck was flourishing: you had always fun with Buck but now that it was mostly just the two of you you were awestruck by him.
Your first date had been a blast: you had had dinner together, there hadn’t been even a moment of awkward silence and the night had ended with Buck kissing you on your door step. You were happy with Buck, and even if thinking about Eddie sometime huffed a bit you were happy he was happy. Everything was ok... until it wasn’t.
You were on shift when you heard a sniper was targeting firefighter and that Eddie had been shot. You were taken by panic: Eddie was hurt and you didn’t even know how bad it was, you knew Buck had been with him but he wasn’t answering your phone. You couldn’t breath: the two people you love the most on your life were in danger, one of them was surely hurt and you didn’t have news about the other one and you couldn’t do anything.
Jessica found you sitting on the floor in the bathroom, silently crying and trying to breath.
“Hey come on, it’s going to be ok”- Jessica tried to reassure you
“Eddie has been shot, Buck isn’t answering his phone. What if... what if...”- you sobbed. No one was telling you anything and you couldn’t stop thinking about the worst outcome.
“Don’t think about it, Buck is gonna call you soon and Eddie is strong, he’s gonna make it. You gotta be thinking positive honey and you need to be strong for them”- Jessica hugged you trying to calm you.
You had never told her about Buck and Eddie but you had always thought she had her suspicions even though she had never told you anything.
You could finally breath: Eddie’s surgery had gone well, Buck was ok even if still scared and your panic had finally lessen.
You hadn’t talked to Buck yet but Bobby had finally answered your call telling your everything: about the shooter, about Eddie’s surgery, about Buck taking care of Christopher.
You had texted Buck but he still hadn’t answered you, so now that you were finally out of shift and calm you had decided to visit Eddie at the hospital because even if you knew he was ok, you needed to see for yourself.
You were almost at Eddie’s room when you saw Ana angrily leaving. You didn’t think much of it and kept walking: the door of Eddie’s hospital room was open and you could hear voices, in particular it sounded like Buck’s.
You looked inside the room: Eddie and Buck were kissing... on the lips. Actually Eddie and Buck were making out.
You stood there watching without a word: the guy you were in love with and you were kinda dating was kissing your best friend aka the other guy you were also in love with.
Apparently fate hated you and decided to screw you up: you had been in love with two guys between which you couldn’t choose and you had thought fate had chosen for you.
You were right: fate had decided you didn’t deserve either.
You left the hospital with a broken heart not even noticing Hen and Chimney saying hello to you.
Your heart hurt: you didn’t know if you were mad at Buck for kissing Eddie while dating you, you didn’t know if you were mad at Eddie for kissing your boyfriend…. Could you really call Buck your boyfriend? You didn’t care much for labels but evidently Buck did and didn’t think of you as his girlfriend.
In the end you knew you were just mad at yourself for even thinking for a second they actually cared about you how much you cared about them. You had never been happier to not be on the same shift as them: you really needed some time away from them.
They deserved to be happy together if they really wanted to but you couldn’t be their ‘cheerleader’, at least not for now: the betrayal would sting for a while and your heart needed time to heal.
You spent the next day alone: Buck had tried to call you but you didn’t feel like getting your heart crushed even more than it already was. Beside you were kinda feeling petty: Buck had ignored your calls and texts for hours, even after the madness had ended. So why couldn’t you ignore him?
Your day ended with you alone in your bed watching the screen of your phone lightning up with Buck’s calls. You silenced it and tried to sleep.
You knew going to work in the morning wasn’t going to be easy but now that you were in front of the firehouse you were feeling dreadful: why was Buck’s car in the parking lot? You had been sure he would have taken some day to help Eddie and Christopher.
You kept your head up and walked into the firehouse: you had nothing to be ashamed for, you had done nothing wrong beside this was your house too.
You went straight to your locker to leave your bag and of course Buck was there.
“Hey I tried to call you yesterday”- he said while looking at you with his puppy eyes.
“Yeah”- you weren’t sure what you were supposed to say: yeah sorry I didn’t answer but I’m very fucking mad at you for kissing our best friend while we are sort of an item? You didn’t think you were ready to have this conversation with him
“Just yeah… you don’t answer me for a whole day and yeah is all you have to say?”
“Listen Buck this is not the moment nor the place to talk about it, ok? My shift is just starting”- you said while closing your locker so you could head for the door.
“What the hell is wrong with you? Why are you acting like this? So what is this? payback? I don’t answer to you so you decide to do the same to me?! Very mature of you. Well I’m sorry if I was busy trying to save our friend and couldn’t answer your thousand texts”- he was yelling and you could feel the stare of your squad.
You were trying to stay calm because you didn’t want to give everyone a show but you were hurt and he was really pissing you off.
“Too busy saving Eddie or making out with him?”- you said calmly and you could see the shock on Buck’s face.
“What?I-“- he tried to say but you rolled your eyes at him
“Guys?”- Eddie’s voice came from behind you… of course he was here… fate had apparently decided that it really hated you
“So can I go to do my job or you wanna scream something else at me?”- you said to Buck while completely ignoring Eddie. You were mad at both of them because they both had betrayed you. -“good”- you added when Buck didn’t say anything else.
Eddie stopped you looking at you pleadingly but you talked before he could say anything
“Please let me through. I really don’t want to talk to neither of you right now”- you knew you had watery eyes but you were hoping he wasn’t going to say anything about it. You took a breath of relief when he moved to let you through.
“I’m really glad you’re ok”- you told Eddie without looking at him before leaving the room.
After Eddie and Buck left, your shift went smoothly: you noticed people looking at you but they were kind enough not to ask anything.
The end of you shift arrived sooner than expected and now you were finally home, ready to end your day… you should have known better.
As soon as you parked you noticed two people waiting for you on your porch; you thought about turning your car and leaving but they had seen you and you knew you had to talk to them sooner or later.
You got out of the car, walked towards your house and once there opened your door without saying anything to them. You went in, still not talking, but leaving the door opened.
“Can we talk?”- Buck said
“Sure… about something in particular or do you want to talk about our day, because let me tell you my day didn’t start that good and I think it’s going to end even worst”- you told them
“Listen, I’m sorry ok”
“Whatever it’s fine”- you shrugged; you didn’t want them to see how much they hurt you
“It’s not fine”- Eddie said- “we didn’t mean to kiss Y/n, ok?”
“Yeah I’m pretty sure Buck fell on you and his lips coincidentally found yours”
“Can you please be serious? I’m sorry I kiss Eddie but I love him, ok? I’m in love with him”- well Buck really wanted to destroy your heart it seems
“Well I’m glad I was able to entertain you until you couldn’t have him Buck. I’m glad you finally have what you wanted.”- you weren’t screaming but your calmly attitude had gone out of the window.
“I don’t… I don’t have everything I wanted, neither does Eddie”
“Listen Buck, I really don’t care. I don’t care if you think I’m childish or a bad friend, but I can’t be happy for you two right now. You two hurt me ok? I love you guys with all my heart and you fucking crushed me”- you said without thinking
“You love us? Both of us?”- Eddie said
“What?! No”- why didn’t you think before talking
“You love us. That’s perfect”- Buck laughed
“Are you seriously laughing at me right now? Are you for real?”- what the hell…
“You don’t understand. We love you too”- Buck was giving you his best smile and you weren’t sure you understood what he just said
“Buck and I love you, and we love each other too”- Eddie said once again
“Well isn’t that a mess”- you weren’t sure if you were supposed to be happy or cry… because seriously
“It doesn’t have to be… a mess I mean”- Eddie said
“What do you mean?”- you weren’t so sure the bullet hadn’t mess with Eddie’s brain because he wasn’t making any sense
“We love each other right? Why can’t it be a good thing, a wonderful thing. Why can’t we make each other happy, the three of us “
Yeah why can’t you… you thought and you smiled for the first time in days.
Ok… maybe fate hadn’t been a total bitch this time if it lead you to both of them
Oh my god this one shot has been the death of me; I have worked on this for so long and I don’t even like it but I know I’m not going to work on anything else if I don’t take it out of my draft. So yeah. I know it’s a mess but yeah. I didn’t even re-read it so… it is what it is
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Hen: Buck! your boyfriend's calling, he wants to talk to you
Buck, walking over: Eddie's not my boyfriend
Hen: He's not?
Eddie, on loudspeaker: I'm not?
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