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#Eveeryones freaking out and im sat here not crying. not freaking out.i feel detatched and numb like its not really Happening.
arcadequeerz
·
3 years
Text
feeling a way but cannot word it hgsg its bad,
#||Dnt Reb/og plz||
#self harm ment TW
#Cade.vnt
#i've run out of ways to be like 'ooo im sad
#emotions r fucked up and mhfdmh
#my dads in the hospital!! not in michigan. he's in texas cus he went in while on work
#hes having trouble breathing. in heart failure n has pneumonia apparently.
#n texas' hospitals r. over ran. n everything is a mss.
#my entire family is freaking out n i dont know if we'll be going down to texas yet or not if he cant leave the hospital so
#who knows maybe i'll be driving to texas at some point.
#I. dont know how to feel
#Eveeryones freaking out and im sat here not crying. not freaking out.i feel detatched and numb like its not really Happening.
#my mom got mad at me today for not calling him at all n talking to him.
#'you may not like how he's treated you but at least he's taken care of you!!!!'
#idk how to feel. theres a verty real possibility he Might Die in this hospital.
#is it fucked yp to say n oone hand i'd be relieved if he did. that if he died i'd almost feell relieved??? i feel like its fucked up and
#im a piece of shit because hes my dad. ad i should be Crying and Upset and Scared because he's in the hospital with all this shit
#in the world happening and he could die- i fdeel like i owe it to him and yet im sitting here still not crying
#still not freaking out like my family. just sat here in the dark feeling pracically nothing.
#n god my family is so??suspicious of me- idk the word-for not being upset- feel like my moms mad at me.
#everythings fucked up right now n i feel equally as fucked up.
#its 4:16 am and here i am. im a piece of shit.
#anyways i was suppsed to go to sleep but i've been awake thinking agout this and ripping my scalp apart with my nails.
#i hae blood on my fingers. i hate myself.
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